#this has been building up for so long and esp the last couple months and im trying sooo hard to hold back a relapse im telling myself like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bitchiha · 5 years ago

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The Hokages Office (Yamato x Reader)

A/N: this is dedicated to all my Yamato stans (esp uhhh-hatake and papashi) You’re both lovely and I think it’s about time i fed you, my fellow whores <3 I wrote it on and off for about like four days... and I think I did horny tree man some justice. Ending was a little rushed and it’s semi proofread :(

Warnings: this is like a fucking porno script okay bye like it’s all smut. Li te rally all of it. Like there’s maybe like 4 paragraphs that don’t include horniness so... yah. Public sex I guess?? Just look at the title.

Summary: Ever since Tenzou was assigned to team Kakashi, he has been dying to get you alone. However, it seems to be quite a difficult task when you’re always running away flusteredly, he is beginning to lose his patience.

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From the moment Tenzou was assigned to Team Kakashi, he could not stop thinking about you; Lady Hokages new assistant.

It was like your flustered face was burnt into the frontal cortex of his brain, numbing his self restraint with every shy smile you gave him. He could never manage to get you alone though, in fact all of your exchanges were just polite and short and in the presence of either Shizune or Tsunade. The hungry beast inside of him constantly lashed out for more. Lord help him, he needed more. But no matter how hard he tried, it seemed the universe refused to give him what he wanted and that beast was always left unsatisfied.

His patience was wearing incredibly thin. It’s been months since the two of you met and the amount of times he’s had to take care of himself because of you was borderline pathetic. He just couldn’t stop thinking about you. The way your skirt clung to your waist, or the way you’d look up at him through your long lashes with those adoring eyes...

His day at the office started with the usual boner. He had barely managed to last five minutes in the building before it happened.

The halls were completely empty, save for you rushing down the passageway — straight towards him. He stood there shocked, his feet felt like they were cement blocks holding him in place as he watched your preoccupied figure practically run straight for him at an alarming pace. There was a paper fisted tightly in your hand as you ran through the empty hall. It was probably some paper Tsunade had you go fetch, Shizune being to busy to do so herself. You didn’t seem to notice him in your state, you got so nervous over the littlest things. So much so that you were blinded by them and the inevitable fate was that you two were most definitely going to crash into eachother and all Yamato could do was wait with a twisted excitement.

You slammed into him with as loud thump. He could feel your breasts pushed right against his chest and your hair brush the bottom of his chin. A gasped slipped from your muffled lips, your face pressed to his chest. Once you realized you had knocked into another person, whose heart was beating 100 miles per hour, you peered up at them. When you recognized Yamatos face you managed to retract your body embarrassedly, but the damage was already done to Yamato’s now tightening pants. A look of surprise was set across his face as he processed the lingering feeling of your body against his, this had to be the most pathetic moment of his life and a record breaker for the worlds fastest boner.

But ss Yamato observer these past few months, your nerves bad blinded you and you didn’t seem to notice. “Y-Yamato! I’m so sorry!!” You said as you avoided eye contact, “I-I’m just.. I’m just a little behind with schedule and I can’t seem to find Shizune to give her this—“ you breathlessly babbled, he wasnt really focusing on any of the words you spoke though. The only thing he was thinking about was how he wanted to make you stutter out his name like that again, the sound was practically tattooing itself onto his brain.

As usual, before Yamato had the chance to respond, the two of you heard a sound from down the hall. He watched as your face perked up, like a puppy at the sound of a squeaky toy. You turned away from him, glad for an opportunity to escape, “That must be her!” And you were off again, shooting down the hall leaving Yamato to stare after your disappearing figure and to deal with an raging hard on..

And here he was now, about a half and hour later, alone in the Hokages office. The boner still prevelant, more than before as the thought of your body pressed against his was superglued to his brain. He was grateful that his pants were loose fitted and made it a little difficult to see, but he honestly didn’t put up much of an effort to hide it anymore. Lady Tsunade has already seen the imprint of his pants grow gradually bigger these past couple of months, there was no use in trying to hide it anymore. He debated if he should just go jack off in the bathroom, it wouldn’t matter if he was a little late, right? Afterall, Tsunade clearly didn’t care about her own tardiness.

The sound of someone’s footsteps approaching caused him to stop his internal debate. Instead, he listened carefully as he try to identify the owner of the sounds — was it Tsunade? No... They were too fragile to be Tsunades, she walked with much more authority.. Shizunes? Not likely. They were too light to be Shizunes, who’s steps were always frantically beating the ground as she chased the Hokage about. No.. These steps were definitely y/n’s and she seemed to be rushing straight for the office.

His heart rate sped up at the thought, straightening against the wall. Was it too good to be true? He silently prayed to see the shy girl appear as he watched the closed door intently. Desperately trying to manifest the sight. The footsteps got closer, and closer, and the door knob began to turn.

“—Lady Hokage!” You screeched breathlessly as you stumbled into the room, a huge stack of papers balanced in one hand as the other whipped the door open. Bingo.

He watched with surprised eyes as the poor assistant begin to nervously babble out an apology for her tardiness. It took a minute for you to collect yourself and realize there was no one to hear your apology. When you did, you let out a sigh of relief at the empty room, clearly failing to notice Yamato behind you. No wonder you were still an assistant in training.. your nerves were worse than Shizunes. He observed indulgently as muscles in your back untensed through your blouse and you sighed in relief, placing the stack of papers on the already cluttered desk. Your skirt rising up just the way he pictured when he thought about you in the late hours in the night, causing a scratching from the hungry beast inside the observing Shinobi.

You quickly thanked the empty room for the salvation of escaping Tsunades wrath, hanged wringing to together with relief. The little display caused Yamato to chuckle quietly, resulting in a startled yelp from the assistant. You stumbled backward, leaning your body against the desk, facing the Shinobi who had been behind you. He noticed how your legs trembled a little, like a baby deer and he couldn’t repress his excited smirk. This is just how he pictured this.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you, y/n.” He said with a sly smile as he straightened up and peeled his body off the wall.

“N-no thats okay!” You managed to yelp out, bowing respectfully to the ninja, your vision lowering with your movement, catching the tent in his pants. Your mouth fell open a little at the sight. You were bent in a bit of an awkward position, your legs were still shaking causing you to rely on your arms leaning on the desk for support. Nonetheless he appreciated the gesture and how you pretended not to see the obvious surprise in his pants as you straightened up again. You were always such a good girl, always so respectful, but he didnt fail to notice your lingering eyes.

Yamato chuckled again at your wandering gaze fueling this dream in his hesd. Yeah, he’s struck gold, that’s for sure. The sight of you all flustered like this, all because of him, it caused another stirring in his pants and a boost to his confidence.

“Do you you know what you do to me, y/n?” He asked in a falsely nonchalant tone. His body carrying him towards the desk, not before making sure to lock the office door.

“What do you mean, Y-Yamato?” You nervously sputtered out, dodging his question as he came closer, like a lion approaching it’s prey. He couldn’t waste anymore time. This whole thing was a sign. It was a damn sign from the universe. Having you here, in this room that he’s fantisized about taking you in so many times, it was a gift. Afterall his waiting, he was finally getting rewarded and had zero intention to take this opportunity for granted.

“Not gonna answer?” he finally reached you, body towering over yours, repeating those same words he thought about saying to you before. Both his arms coming down on the desk, caging your body between them as he whispered, “I guess I’m just going to have to show you then.”

He watched your parted mouth with vigour, waiting for a protest or a sign of objection, but nothing came. Instead he watched the slick of saliva coating your tongue as your open mouth stuttered, attempting to say something, but only mindless splutters coming out. It took everything in him to prevent himself from just devouring you right then and there.

You stared at him with a doe eyed look, his clouded eyes meeting yours to pool into your irises. His bold advances were new to you, you’d never had someone do this to you before. But you werent complaining, you’d always wanted this — wanted him.. but you could never tell him and to see him so eager and hungry for something — for you — had done a wonderful job on soaking your panties.

Your shaking legs were pushed apart by Yamato’s knee, taking the look in your eyes as a sign of permission. You felt your legs giving out as your arms struggled to hold you up. Luckily his hands snaked around your waist and hoisted you up onto the desk. He drank up this innocent little way that you acted and he wanted nothing more than to have your legs shaking under him for an entirely different reason.

You felt your ass pushing the stack of papers you placed down previously, making room for you on the cold wooden table. There was a sound of brief swooshes, papers slipping to the floor as your mouth fell open a little more.

Before you had the chance to manage some some sort of comment about the papers in your shaky little voice, he leaned his head closer to yours and you instantly making you stop your thoughts in their track. You felt his hot breath against your mouth. You tried to say something you really did, but the only thing that came out was a whimper. He chuckled again, his lips brushing against yours as he did so. You wanted this just as bad, didn’t you? Then he wouldn’t want to make his little angel wait. Without further notice, he pressed his lips to yours.

He was much better than you at the kissing part, probably because he dreamed about this on a daily. His tongue swiped over yours eagerly, the sensation made you moan giving him better access to your mouth. Sliding right in, his tongue swirled around yours almost immediately. You immediately gave him dominance, causing him to groan into your mouth with satisfaction. He savoured how you let him drink you in, his fingers roaming about your body as he did so. They started at your waist, one coming down to your thigh while the other moved up to your chest.

After he couldn’t continue without suffocating, he pulled away. A string of salvia connected your mouths together and he brought a hand to his lip to break its connection, watching it fall back against your chin. You were too lost in what had just happened to bother wiping it away, allowing Yamato to mentally take a picture of the sight. He pressed your ass towards the edge closer to him, allowing your core to collide with his bulge. You let out a gasp, hands gripping onto his shoulders for support.

“See what you do to me? Do you know how long I’ve wanted this? You wanna know what I do when I go home everyday after seeing you in these little skirts?” His eyes never leaving yours as he spoke, the look in his eyes was borderline animalistic. “I stroke my dick to the thought of fucking you on this desk.”

Your response was just a jerking of your hips towards his own, what he was implying was too much for you. It was an involuntary action, but you were glad your body had done something other than just stare at him. “I— Y-Yamato... I didn’t know that.”

He scoffed, but it was more of an “of course you wouldn’t know” kind of sound. His hands travelling up your blouse and beginning to undo the buttons one by one. “How could you know? I can never get the chance to tell you how I feel because someone’s always barging in. So let me show you then, let me show you exactly how you make me feel.”

As his actions process, your reaction a little delayed due to all the cloudiness in your head. Your mind was swimming in the heat of his words. Once you managed some coherent thoughts, your hand flew up to his, pausing his work on your shirt. “Wait! W-What if Lady Tsunade hears? What if she comes back? Yamato.. I.. we can’t..” despite your hand atop of his, he swatted it off and resumed unbuttoning your blouse with a snicker.

“Then I guess she can watch, you’ve tortured me for months y/n. There’s no way I’m stopping now. Not when I’ve finally got you to myself.” And the truth is that you didn’t want him to stop either. You’ve wanted him just as much as he was wanted you, your desperation allowing you to stop your worries and let Yamato continue.

He stopped with the buttons once they were about two thirds undone, open enough that he could get a perfect view of your chest. Shoving the blouse down your shoulders, he gave himself a more clear view of your bra and your collarbones. The bra was a simple lace white fabric and he could see your erect nipples peaking out, causing him to practically drool. They’re even prettier than he imagined. He shoved your bra straps downwards, pulling the fabric covering your flesh with it, giving him full access to your now unclothed breasts.

He immediately dipped his head down to kiss and lick the flesh, his brain recording all of your sounds of pleasure. Your arms tightened around the back of his neck, little panting moans escaping your lips at this new feeling. Then he began to suck at one of the buds, his tongue eagerly swirling around it, the gasp that left hear your mouth fueled his assault further. He could your noises becoming muffled, you had bitten your lip to stop yourself from being so loud. He pulled away with a pop to look up at you, “You’re so responsive. So loud for me. I bet you want this just as much as I do, huh?” He could practically feel the heat radiating of your face, you looked like you were going to burst. So much so that you only managed to squeak out a yes.

“Huh? I can’t hear you, y/n. You weren’t that quiet a second ago,” god he was enjoying this, “I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself then.” Those words puzzled you, unsure of what he meant for a moment — but as you felt his hands travel down to your skirt you knew exactly what he intended to do.

His hand bunched up the fabric of your skirt, holding it up to allow him to view of your white panties, matching your bra. He couldn’t help but groan at the sight. “Wow, sweetheart. Were you wearing these in hopes that I’d see them?” He crouched down infront of your legs, one hand still bunching the skirt up while the over came down to stroke your clothed core. “You’re a little angel.”

Shocks of pleasure shot through you as he continued to stroke your clothed pussy. Causing you to grip the edge of the desk. The sensation only became stronger as he pushed your panties aside, dipping a digit slowly into your already soaked core. Yamato let out a sound of approval at just how ready you were for him. “See? I knew you wanted this just as bad as me, y/n.”

You wanted to say something, talk to him the way he was talking to you, but you were such a flushing mess. Finally, after you adjusted a little to his fingers and the pace, you managed to say something through your panting moans. “Yamato please... I want to make you f-feel good too.”

Those words caused his pace to falter for a second, he looked up at you with a satisfied smile before his pace completely stopped. His fingers laying still agaisnt your plush walls while his thumb pressed against your throbbing clit. “You want me to feel good too? Oh what a good girl you are. But don’t worry, I’ll feel good soon too. I Just want to make sure you’re ready for me first.”

His eyes returned to your wet core, watching as his fingers pushed in and out of you. He didn’t know when he would get this opportunity again, so he needed to cherish all the future jack off material he could get. You squeaked when he entered his second finger into your core and he moaned lowly as he watched your pussy struggle to take two of his digits. “God you’re so tight, how’re you gonna take my cock?”

“I’ll take it! I promise I can handle it!” You managed to respond as your eyes squeezed shut. Being the shy girl you were you didn’t have much sexual experiences prior to this, but that didn’t mean you didnt have fantasies and right now Yamato was doing a good job at fulfilling them.

“Such a determined girl, so good for me.” He grinned at your responsiveness as his thumb circled your clit, eyes trained on your pussy. He felt you begin to clench around him and he looked up to watch your face build up with the anticipation of a little death.

“Not yet, sweetheart. You’re gonna cum on my cock like good girls do, okay?” You nodded furiously as you began to hold back your impending orgasm. Just when he knew it was too much and you were going to spill over the edge, he stopped, retracing his fingers completely and standing up.

You hated how empty you felt as they retracted, but you knew what was coming next was going to be even better. As Yamato began to fiddle with his pants you took the opportunity to press a kiss to his lips. The gesture was surprising knowing how shy you were, but the kiss was so soft and sweet he forgot about undoing his pants and let his hands roam your body. His hands came up to palm your breasts, causing you to gasp into the kiss. That innocent noise making him lose his restraint again, shoving his tongue into your mouth. He dragged it along your gums, your teeth and then swirled it around your own muscule, it seemed as though he was trying to memorize every ridge and crevice you had.

You pulled away to gasp for some air, and he took a moment to look at your dishevelled appearance. Blouse tugged down, hanging onto your shoulders as your breasts peaked out courtesy of him shoving the fabric down earlier. “I’m gonna fuck you know y/n. And I want to do it with you bent over this desk.” He stepped back, giving you enough space to comply with his wishes. You nodded obediently, eager to please him. Standing once again on your shaking bambi legs, you turned around.

Your wetness was practically slipping down your legs as Yamato hiked up your skirt and pulled your panties down. He bent down to lick a small dribble of your slick that had began to slide down your thigh, his sudden desire to taste you taking over him as he licked further up towards your heat, savouring every taste his buds could collect. Greedily he starting to lap at your soaking core, faster and faster his restraint failing him miserably as those heavenly sighs left your lips.

There was just so many things he wanted to do to you. He wanted to do every fuckable thing to your pretty body, but he simply didn’t have the time. Reluctantly pulling away his tongue — a whine escaping your lips as he did so — he stood back up again. “You’re making me get carried away here, y/n.” He scolded teasingly before straightening himself up and fussing with unzipping his pants.

You were practically shaking with excitement as you heart the sound of the zipper giving way and the gentle whisp as the fabric falling to his knees. Listening intently to the sound of his boxers slipping down his thighs next, you let out an excited noise feeling his cock slap against your ass.

“So excited aren’t you? So eager for my cock. Gosh, I bet your play with yourself at night to the thought of me having my way with you.” He slides in unexpectedly as he finishes his thought, causing your hands so slip against the table. You lose your balance, arms stretching against the desk, back arching allowing even more of his dick to sink deeper into your tight pussy.

“Gosh you fit just right.” He groaned, letting himself completely sink inside you, the sight of your new position made his mouth water. Your tits were pressed against the desk as you arms splayed you out infront of him. His cock twitched at the sight, he didn’t want to cum too fast, but this was just too much.

He began with slow eager strokes, absolutely drunk on the noises you were making and just how warm and welcoming your pussy was for him. You moaned loudly at the feeling of him stretching you out like this.

Suddenly, he became very curious about something. He picked up the speed of his thrusts, the angle of this position giving him wonderful access to your sweet spot and he made sure to hit it every stroke. “What do you use when you think about me?” You a manged so slide your head against the table to look at him, cheek burning as you did so. There was a little bit of saliva that was beginning to pool out of mouth and when Yamato saw your sinful face he only became more violent in his pace and that only made you make even more sinful faces.

“What do you fuck yourself with when you think about me?” He repeated again, adding a much more aggressive thrust to the end of his sentence, showing he wanted you to answer it. The thrust caused your tits to drag further on the desk making a squeaking sound, only to be retracted once again as Yamato dragged your ass back onto his cock.

How could he expect you to respond when he was practically making you see stars? “I..” you said some incoherent words and Yamato slowed his pace down just enough for you to get your head back on.

“Come on sweetheart, I need to hear you say it. Tell me, tell Yamato.” When you still couldn’t answer his pace practically stopped. He made the slowest thrusts possible, each one managing to hit that heavenly spot inside you.

It’s like he was making it difficult on purpose. “F-fingers! I use my fingers.” You managed to finally stutter out, tears sprinting against your eyes.

That answer must have satisfied him a little because his pace began to quicken somewhat. “And what do you think about when your fingers are fucking your cunt? What do you think of me doing to you?”

“This!” You didn’t even have to think about the answer. This was exactly what you would think of, what you would daydream of as he stood on the office reporting to lady Tsunade..

Now that answer was definitely the right one and before you knew it he was pushing into you again at a rapid pace. “Ngh, that’s right. I knew your mind was wandering everytime we‘re in the same room. Your much dirtier than you’ve lead on, such a naughty girl.”

You couldn’t respond, the only sounds you managed to make were moans of pleasure as you felt yourself clenching more and more around his cock. “Oh you’re gonna cum now aren’t you? All over my dick, just like in your dreams.” His words fueling your orgasm as he felt you spasm around, him cumming all over his dick. He watched as your cum seeped out a little between his thrusts. Studying your face he memor the way it was pressed into the desk, your mouth open and your tongue peeking out, a thin film of drool puddled around your quivering mouth as he continued to fuck you through your high.

After a few more thrusts Yamato knew he couldn’t hold back his orgasm anymore. Your numb brain could somewhat piece it together too as you felt his cock twitching inside you. You’d both thought about this moment many times before and the one thought that always set you over the edge the fastest was when he let himself spill inside you.

“Yamato,” you mumbled hazily as you seen his own contemplation through foggy eyes. His pace was getting sloppy. “Can you cum inside me, p-please?”

As soon as he processed what you asked him, he came right into your sore little cunt. It took a surprising amount of strength for the shinobi to keep standing upright and holding your hips to his own at the pure bliss of his high. Holy fuck, that was so much better than anything he’d imagined.

The two of you stayed silent for a few minutes, trying to collect yourselves. As he began to pull his dick out of you the mixture of both your orgasms dripped out from your legs. He turned you around so you were laying on your back as he gingerly cleaned you up, lacking the resources to clean you up properly he settled on the tissues on Tsunades desk. Then he moved to pick up the fallen papers, letting you lay on the desk like a little doll until you were finally back from your high.

You were so fucked out that he had to help pull your panties back up for you, as well as adjust your bra and rebutton your blouse after he finished with the stack of papers.

Had he been too rough? You seemed like you were enjoying it when he was ramming into you, maybe he let himself indulge a little too much...

Your sweet little voice broke him out of his thoughts, “Yamato, would you help me go home please?” He watched your trembling little legs as you tried to stand, he was glad his wish from earlier had come true; your legs were wobbling for a different reason now.

“Of course, y/n. You were such a good girl, you did so well.” He pressed a kiss to your lips before wrapping in arm around your waist and guiding you out of the room. “What’re you gonna tell Tsunade now that you’re leaving early?”

You smirked to yourself, Yamato not noticing as he unlocked the Hokages door with his free hand. “We won’t have to worry about that.” Unbeknownst to the man holding you, you had grown impatient with your lack of alone time with Yamato too.

So lady Tsunades absence and everyone else’s for that matter, well.. that wasn’t some gift from the universe, it was an elaborate plan you had made yourself. You’d kept them all busy so you could finally have some time with Yamato. Turns out you were so much naughtier than anyone at the office could have thought thought.

#naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #yamato x reader #yamato headcanons #captain yamato

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whentherewerebicycles · 4 years ago

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some thoughts that might seem unrelated but aren’t, i promise:

— in that atomic habits book I read a couple weeks back the author talks about using a specific, action-oriented question repeated throughout the day to help you build or break habits (like “what would a physically fit person do?” or “what would a sober person do?”).

— the aging books i was reading last month noted that people who score high in conscientiousness (on the Big Five personality traits) tend to age most successfully ie enjoy the longest stretch of active years. to quote this article, conscientiousness is “a fundamental personality trait—one of the Big Five��that reflects the tendency to be responsible, organized, hard-working, goal-directed, and to adhere to norms and rules...Conscientiousness comprises self-control, industriousness, responsibility, and reliability. A conscientious person is good at self-regulation and impulse control. This trait influences whether you will set and keep long-range goals, deliberate over choices, behave cautiously or impulsively, and take obligations to others seriously.” I tend to score very high in openness but very, very low in conscientiousness. more on this in a bit...

— my sister and i were talking recently about different kinds of intelligence, and also about core values. one of hers is efficiency, a word that i have all kinds of negative associations with lol but that she explained in ways i found really intriguing. for her efficiency isn’t about, like, Maximizing Productivity for Capitalism but is about methodically searching for the most effective, least confusing or redundant, most easily-communicable-to-others way to solve complex problems. when she encounters a system that has all kinds of weird bottlenecks or inefficient, time-consuming ways of completing a task (esp if the rationale for those methods is just “well.. that’s how we’ve always done it”), she starts immediately examining the larger structures and workflows around those bottlenecks to see if the established ways of doing things can be rerouted or simplified, and then she constructs new protocols or tools for people to use instead of the old inefficient way of working. efficiency will never be a core value of mine, in part because i think my humanities-oriented brain accords more value than her STEM/medicine-oriented brain does to wandering, daydreaming, slowed-down thinking, doubling-back or retracing one’s steps, and other “inefficient” modes of thinking that slow down the process but can lead you in unexpected directions or spark unanticipated epiphanies that illuminate the larger structures differently. i think we both share a keen interest in systems-level thinking and in examining whether established ways of doing things are the most effective ways of doing things, but we prioritize different modes of thinking and problem-solving in figuring out how to alter or redesign those larger systems (which is probably a result of temperament differences + our field-specific training).

THAT SAID, i have been thinking a lot about how one area of my own intelligence i would like to sharpen/hone in both my professional and personal life is like... a mode of intelligence that is linked to rigor, a more methodical approach to problem-solving, and the ability to construct & more methodically test detailed mental schemas. not quite sure how to articulate that but i feel like my thinking has gotten a little fuzzier than i want it to. and I think maybe this sensed fuzziness in thinking is linked to some of my ongoing feelings of restless discontent re: work. I also just in general want to be more conscientious in how I approach and solve problems, or in how I tackle big and small projects.

— this is more tangentially connected but: i feel like one thing i’ve noticed this year is that a lot of the people i admire professionally are really good at seeking out & taking on lots and lots of additional challenges or commitments, and they can do this in part because they tend to be very conscientious people, ie people who have big-picture vision but are also very detail-oriented and good at managing their time effectively & doing things efficiently so they can take on multiple projects without feeling overwhelmed. i feel like my own low-conscientiousness means that i can’t take full advantage of my high-openness—often i want to take on new projects or challenges but i worry that i’ll overextend myself or that the project will become more time-consuming than i anticipate. i think is linked to a different sort of fuzziness, ie a lack of clarity about how long things take or how much time i have — all combined with a deeply ingrained sense of myself as someone with executive dysfunction issues (poor time management, poor planning skills, poor organizational abilities, etc.). i think of myself as a very inefficient and extraordinarily disorganized person, whether this is 100% accurate or not, and that can sometimes lead to me taking myself out of the running for opportunities or limiting the number of projects i take on out of a fear that i won’t be disciplined enough to see them through.

— another thing my sister and i were talking about recently is how within large families, siblings tend to get assigned a “role” or a personality within the family dynamic very early on, and then they get sort of locked into that over time. everyone in the family expects them to always behave in that way, and there’s often a lot of unconscious resistance to letting your family members change or grow or develop in ways that contradict the clearly defined family role that’s been assigned to them, or the family “story” that everyone else in the family tells about them. you can get locked into both positive and negative roles—or like, often the positive role has a negative flipside. we were talking about how within our family, i’ve been “assigned” to be the “deep thinker” ie the introspective one who spends my life writing and thinking and daydreaming, whereas my sister has been assigned the role of being most like my father, ie very methodical, analytical, unemotional, and action-oriented (and therefore not introspective or inward-looking). and we were talking about how both of these have a negative flipside: my sister feels like she doesn’t get to be a “deep thinker,” or an introspective, emotionally intelligent person; whereas i feel like in my family’s story for me i am forever in “lalaland,” as my mom always says—head in the clouds, an ineffectual dreamer, the absentminded professor who has lots of big thoughts and feelings but is incapable of bringing any of my fantastical ideas to fruition because i have very little practical knowledge or stick-to-itiveness.

— as i’ve said many times before, i feel like i can’t solve the big-picture issues with my job right now, since so many of them are linked to shitty pandemic realities. but i was thinking that maybe one way to begin laying the groundwork for this final year in my job might be to work on strengthening my conscientiousness at the micro-level, ie in small everyday habits and interactions. my hope is that maybe by practicing conscientiousness in lots of small, low-stakes situations, i can start strengthening those muscles and building trust in myself as “the kind of person who does ____” (which i feel like is necessary for me to begin challenging the family story i’ve internalized what i am like). i mean, there is a lot of truth to that family story! but i bet that those aspects of my personality are nowhere near as inflexible or as like, divinely preordained as i have often assumed they are. like, i bet that through practice & through building better habits i can actually become significantly more conscientiousness (reliable, responsible, hardworking, efficient, good at follow-through, self-disciplined, etc) than i am now. and while efficiency may never be as central a value for me as it is for my sister, i think there is probably a way for me to see efficiency and conscientiousness as linked to my own core values, if only because those qualities or traits will allow me to better enact/embody my core values. so i think i can see it not as working against the grain of my personality, but as working to build out less-developed parts of my personality to strengthen the parts of my character that i value most.

— anyway this is all to say that for the last week i’ve been asking myself aloud “what would a conscientious person do?” multiple times a day, really any time i find myself at a small crossroads where i have to make a small decision. do i pick up that piece of cardboard and put it in the recycling bin now or leave it till later? (what would a conscientious person do?) do i return that call from the plumber now or put it off until later? (what would a conscientious person do?) do i take two minutes to pay that $4 toll bill now or put it on the giant stack of “tasks i will definitely deal with when i’m in the mood to deal with them,” where it will inevitably become a $25 and then $50 bill because i forgot about it and now have to pay late fees? (what would a conscientious person do?) do i comment on that student’s draft now when i’d rather be on the couch scrolling through social media? (i could probably do it tomorrow, when i have another block of free time, but what would a conscientious person do?) i have no idea if it will work in the long term!! but it’s been an intriguing experiment so far, mostly because i think it is teaching me that many of the tasks i build up in my head as incredibly time-consuming are actually quite quick, and once you finish them you also free up all the mental energy you were putting into procrastinating on them, and are better able to move onto the next thing. i also feel like it is teaching me that uhh maybe a conscientious person is not like, a completely different species of human being, but just a person who has different habits or patterns of response to daily choices than i do. that feels important too: if we are what we repeatedly or habitually do, then changing what i habitually do can probably change the kind of person i am! i’m finding that there’s something very useful about the simplicity of the question, too. deliberately posing the question to myself interrupts my habitual, unconscious response (which is always some version of ��i don’t have the energy to deal with that / don’t want to expend that energy right now -- i’ll put it off till later”) -- it requires me to stop and focus my attention on the present situation instead of sliding right past it without thinking about it. and there’s also something quite satisfying about framing it as a choice or a decision: i get to choose what to do, ie i get to exercise agency, and exercising agency makes your brain feel happy (we like to feel in control! we like making choices!). so throughout the day i get to experience lots of little bursts of whatever gets released in the brain when you make a decision and immediately follow through with it, and i think/hope that this kind of positive reinforcement is helping to strengthen those circuits and lay down the groundwork for new patterns of habitual response.

those are some thoughts this morning!! now i am going to allow myself a few minutes of sloth lol and then i’ll get up and exercise.

#mw #thinking aloud #long post

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chuuguins · 4 years ago

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💘 - kyori x yuki

sugary sweetness ahead. proceed with caution!!

where they first met and how

they first met when their groups were promoting around the same time and they kept seeing one another backstage at music shows. kyori is a huge fan of kaleidoscope and has done a few dance covers of their songs and danced to them on variety shows so she was super excited to introduce herself!

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

i’d say pretty early. they grew attached to each other very quickly, especially because kyori came into yuki’s life when she was really needed.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

i have a feeling that yuki fell hardest first. kyori definitely fell fast but i think yuki was still first.

where their first date was and what it was like

after they had been talking non stop for a couple of weeks, kyori showed up at the apex building with flowers and told yuki she was taking her out. they had a picnic behind the building with lots of food that kyori had made. very cute, very pure.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

i guess you could say that kyori asked yuki out but really she didnt ask at all. she just surprised her by showing up with the date plan. yuki probably asked if it was a date like twelve times.

who proposes first

obviously this is a long way off but once again i think it would be kyori. she’s one for romantic gestures and she would want to make yuki feel special and loved so she would be determined to propose first.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

as kpop idols, it’s a secret because it has to be. especially as two female kpop idols dating. however, all of their members know and other artists in their companies as well. they’re not the best at being subtle.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

i doubt they would get married until their groups have both disbanded so like i said, it’s a ways away. flowers and picnics are two of kyori’s favourite things and something she’s integrated a lot into their relationship. she would have made a scavenger hunt around all of their favourite places and things that remind her of yuki which would end in a picnic in a garden surrounded by flowers where she would ask yuki to marry her.

if they adopt any pets together

oh i bet they do! let’s say two cats and a super cute fluffy dog!

who’s more dominant

i’m thinking yuki. even though it seems like kyori takes the lead in a lot of aspects of their relationship but i don’t think she’s necessarily dominant. just stupidly cute and overexcited.

where their first kiss was and what it was like

their first kiss was on their first date. kyori was reaching over to grab something out of the picnic basket and yuki surprise kissed her. then they kept kissing throughout the date bc they’re stupidly cute.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

oh they definitely have so much matching stuff! especially things that the public can’t see and catch onto. so while they do have matching braclets, most of their matching items are things like matching mugs, matching socks, matching notebooks. all sorts of things like that. also it isn’t matching, but kyori bought a sunflower necklace for yuki because yuki calls her ‘sunflower’ so.

how into pda they are

their brand of pda is very soft and sweet. obviously they can’t do it super publically but when they’re around their members they will cuddle and do sweet little cheek kisses and be obviously couple-y but not in an awfully obnoxious way?

who holds the umbrella when it rains

yuki. she’s taller.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

their usual dates are sneaking into one anothers dorms with the help of members because it’s just the easiest way to do it. when they can they love to go for picnics in places that are quite private and they talk on the phone every night as well.

who’s more protective

i’m gonna say yuki!

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

probably a few months. mostly because finding an opportunity isn’t that easy but also partily because they wanted to take their time. i don’t know about yuki, but kyori had never gone that far with a partner so it was a big deal to her.

if they argue about anything

their arguments are usually very stupid and last about five minutes. just silly bickering about random things. big arguments are few and far between.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

yuki yuki yuki! kyori honestly likes it a lot. they are careful not to make them too obvious but whenever kyori sees marks yuki has left she gets all blushy and happy!!

who steals whose clothes and how often

why have a girlfriend if you don’t steal one anothers clothes? they both do this frequently. so much so that their wardrobes are basically mixed.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

it depends but they often find themselves cuddling facing each other with kyori tucking her head into yuki’s shoulder. very cute.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

would saying picnics be repetitive? really they just love spending the day together and doing whatever they feel like. sometimes they’ll bake together, sometimes they’ll nap together. they’ll go on public dates together at times because they just appear to be friends.

how long they stay mad at each other

a few hours at most. honestly, kyori can’t stay mad at anyone so staying mad at yuki is near impossible.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

kyori loves peach tea or any kind of fruit tea + really sugary coffees (esp frappes) and yuki likes chai tea and salted caramel coffee! they also both love to get bubble tea!

if they ever have any children together

they would definitely want to!!! so i’m going to say they do. i’m thinking two kids, either one girl one boy or both girls?

if they have any special pet names for each other

i said already but yuki calls kyori “sunflower” or “sunshine” and kyori calls yuki “snapdragon” because reasons.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

hm, i’m not sure. if they ever do split up i can imagine them getting back together. perhaps just going on an amicable break for some reason. i just don’t doubt that it wouldn’t be long before they found themselves together again.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

once they move in together their living space is quite neat. it just looks nice and lived in, you know? kyori has flowers everywhere and i’m sure they spent a long time shopping and picking things out because they were just so excited to live together. i’m sure they mixed their unique aesthetics together in such a cute way.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

kyori is very close to her family so she invited yuki to spend christmas with them after the girls started dating. it was all very cute and cozy. kyori’s family absolutely love the holidays and go all out with decorations and food and presents. her parents bought gifts for yuki and yuki helped them decorate and they kissed under mistletoe. kyori told yuki it was the best christmas she had ever had.

what their names are in each other’s phones

“sunflower” & “snapdragon”

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

how many times can i mention fucking picnics in this post? they go on at least one per month and kyori makes an entire spread of food and deserts. they buy each other a stuffed animal every birthday. honestly, they probably have a lot actually.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

kyori falls asleep first and wakes up first.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they switch. kyori is basically a backpack when she’s big spoon so it’s super cute but she loves being little spoon and curling up against yuki.

who hogs the bathroom

they both do! they love getting ready together.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

yuki takes spiders outside. kyori refuses to let anyone kill bugs but is also too scared to deal with them herself.

send me a ship and i’ll answer some questions !!

#ask #YES!!!#THEM!!!!#they are so gross i love them #i hope all this is right #THANK U SARAH #v: idolverse #idolverse: kyori x yuki #oc: kyori park #headcanons #sarah tag

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eatsockss · 5 years ago

Text

Irondad and SteveTony Fic Recs!!

I decided to do a fic rec list bc i always see them and am So Grateful for them, esp rn bc everybody’s quarantined so what else is there to do but read fanfic. these are some of my favorite fics/some of the fics I read recently and just have open in safari rn. they’re mostly angst or whump ngl bc that’s my favorite but,,,, enjoy!

Irondad

ever in your favor by @iron--spider

Summary: Peter startles awake when someone shakes him. “Sorry, honey,” May says. Peter blinks a couple times and she comes into focus, her hair pulled back from her face. She’s trying not to look a certain way, but he can see it in her eyes anyway. She clears her throat, keeps talking. “But it’s…” She glances away, wets her lips. “You gotta get ready.” He remembers what day it is, and his heart beats like a drum at someone’s execution. But he tries to put on a mask, make it all seem normal. It’s everything but, despite the fact that he’s been dealing with reaping day since he was born, between himself, Ben and May. That fear that one of them could be taken away. Sent to surefire slaughter. But now Ben is gone, taken despite never having his name drawn from a bowl, and May’s finally safe. Now Peter’s name is in there alone. The last Parker sitting on the chopping block. He doesn’t know how to be. He doesn’t know what normal is, when the Hunger Games are looming on the horizon.

Note: this is probably my favorite ever irondad fic so like ,,, ummm ,,, Please read this

lay your weary head to rest by @the-great-escapism

Summary: “Please.” He means to say it loudly, with confidence, but it comes out as nothing more than a raspy whisper. His ears are ringing painfully, and his head feels like it’s going to explode. It hurts and hurts and hurts. “M-May,” Peter cries out to no one, feeling like a child. “Tony. Please, ‘m so tired.” He inhales and chokes on his tears. He can’t tell if it’s his imagination or not, but he’s pretty sure he hears a laugh. In which Peter gets kidnapped, and that's not even the worst part. The worst part is he's not allowed to sleep.

Priorities by JLMonroe1234

Summary: Tony had been in the cave for a month. Waiting. Planning. Healing. Biding his time until his creation would be ready and durable enough to get him home. With Yinsen's help and Tony's expertise, he would save them both. But when an injured teenager is brought into the mix, Tony must reevaluate his priorities and decide what's more important; a speedy escape, or rescuing the boy with the spider tattoo?

Return to Normal by Singing_Sirens

Summary: On his first day back, he didn’t expect the stares. Well, he expected some stares, but he didn’t think the entire hallway would just… stop. But that’s what they did. They froze, jaws hanging open, eyes wide, as he lowered his head and curled in on himself. He pushed through the attention. He set his jaw and marched forward, because he had been through worse in the last year.

Patient by alifetime

Summary: Just because Tony has retired as an Avenger, does not mean he still doesn’t have a business to run with Pepper. Since both his oldest children cannot always babysit for Morgan, he hires a babysitter. Harley didn’t really know what to think of the babysitter, and always kept a protective eye on Morgan. But she had told him that Skip was nice. She always seems to be smiling and happy whenever Skip comes to stay. It didn’t filter his concern. So when he goes college, he demands that Peter keeps an eye on him. Peter liked Skip. Until he didn’t. However, he will do anything to keep his brother and sister safe.

Identity Theft by KitCat992

Summary: It's been months since the events of Civil War, and the Avengers are doing their best to remain a team, having promised to forgive and forget. Unfortunately for them, Tony Stark's latest invention has been stolen and recovering it causes tension to reappear. Meanwhile, in Queens, Peter Parker has two main priorities on his plate — complete his midterm finals, and track down a fishbowl wearing criminal that may or may not lead him right into the hands of the Avengers. Somehow between all of this, Spider-man's identity is revealed to the Avengers, Steve and Tony's friendship may permanently be damaged due to continued hidden secrets, and Happy struggles to buy a youth-sized casket for Peter's funeral. Things were a lot easier when they were fighting over Bucky Barnes. (Or: The Avengers welcome Peter into their crazy superhero family and will do anything to protect him.) Shameless Peter whump and Protective Tony Stark.

the second law of thermodynamics by fourleafchloe

Summary: It happens the same way it always does. (It's just discipline. It's not that bad. It's fine, Peter is fine, he'll be fine--) Except he really isn't fine, and Tony knows something's up, and Peter's house of cards is falling apart, and so the story goes. — separate from other fics in the series. a recovery story full of soft irondad, found families, and (eventually) tons of fluff.

Note: this is part of a series of separate irondad fics, each one of them is incredible, so go check out this entire series.

how can the body die? (you tell me, everything) by @madasthesea

Summary: Tony felt panic creep up his spine. Something was occurring to him, slowly percolating in the back of his mind. “You said the stinger got you. Is Scorpion’s stinger venomous?” “I don’t—” Peter cut off as he groaned, the muscles in his jaw tight. “I don’t know. He upgraded—he was faster. Bigger. I—I thought I could beat him.”

oh, darling. by luna_e_stelle

Summary: "Peter?" Tony’s voice wavered with an urgency that cut through the thick haze in Peter’s mind. There was so much emotion in that one word that Peter wondered how he had ever doubted that Tony loved him. They had never said it out loud, just showed it in a way that spoke louder than words ever could. — Peter is taken, and he tries to find his way back home.

whumptober series by @iron--spider

Summary: 10 fics that fulfill whumptober prompts (i could many choose one so just go read the whole series)

Pieces of Echoes by @geekymoviemom

Summary: this is like a rewrite of the MCU integrating most of the storylines So Seamlessly with SuperFamily. Amazing series.

uneasy lies the head by @tnyystark

Summary: Two thoughts come to Peter, both at a breakneck speed he can barely handle. One: the world now thinks he is responsible for the attack in London. And Prague. And Venice. And the murder - murder; as if the man is really dead; as if the universe is kind enough to let that happen - of Mysterio. And two: the world now knows who he is.

Long Shadows by Black_Briar

Summary: Peter comes into contact with a foreign substance on a mission, and things only get worse from there.

I’ll Be Your Home (Forever and Always) by ScarletPotter

Summary: Peter didn't plan on being kidnapped, it all just sorta, maybe, happened? Peter was on his way to meet Ned when suddenly everything goes dark. When he wakes up he's restrained to a table and a man introduces himself to be Quentin Beck, and that he's going to kill him.

god did not craft us as alters, but as dying gods by helloitisafellowgay

Summary: Peter Parker is not immune to trauma. Far from it, in fact. (With great power comes great responsibility, Peter.) So when the building collapses, when the dilapidated remains of metal and concrete, and later searing scraps of plane, fall around him? Well, this is practically nothing. Practically. He’s fine, really. It just gets a little hard to breathe sometimes. Like, when he follows Happy into Stark Tower through the parking garage. Or when he turns on the news while doing homework and sees reports of a plane crash. And sure, the small fire that broke out in the chemistry lab had sent his heart racing and caused sweat to bead on the back of his neck until even Ned asked if he was okay, but it’s nothing to worry about. Regardless, he knows where those come from. But this? In which Skip Westcott is a repressed memory, until he returns.

Note: favorite fic title!

Stony

my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast by @kapteniron

Summary: Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual. He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either. What is unusual is that the stranger is silent. (One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)

Forever Linked by ashes0909 and athletiger

Summary: Before the door even clicked shut, he opened his mouth to let the pink petals flutter to the ground. In the center of all this mess was a single rose, not yet bloomed, but Tony knew, deep down, what this meant. But they were only teammates for sure; nothing else will go further. — “You have Hanahaki?” she asked, barely more than a whisper. He fisted out the petal from his pocket and held it out to her. “If that’s what would cause this to come out of my throat.”

Steve Rogers’ Guide to Wooing Tony Stark by Tonks22

Summary: Steve tries to woo Tony. Steve is not very good at it. Tony is oblivious.

Blue Lips, Blue Veins by @romanoff

Summary: Tony Stark is Iron Man. Before that, he was an man with bigger heart than brain. Before that, he was an asshole with a bigger mouth than sense. And before that, he was was a scared little boy. Not that it matters. Stark's always have had iron in their backbone.

Note: this is more of a character study of Tony Stark but it’s Incredible. Cannot recommend this enough.

The Butterfly Effect by @itsallavengers

Summary: While fighting with Loki, Steve Rogers from 2012 hears the two simple words: "Bucky's alive." And the whole universe ripples with the aftershocks.

Going Steady by @itsallavengers

Summary: Steve has a soft spot for the sound of Tony's heart

Hide A Heart Of War by RayShippouUchiha

Summary: “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

Note: this is technically Stuckony but,,, it’s rly good so it’s going on the list.

Assorted

a primer for the small weird loves by babyloveparkner

Summary: “What are you—?” “Hold on,” Peter says, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as the pen moves across the page. He rips out another page, then seems to grow frustrated and just opens up his notebook to start writing in it rather than stealing pages out of it. Harley feels stuck, flabbergasted and frozen, and he doesn’t know how long he sits there and watches before Peter lets out a huff and finally leans back, satisfaction in his eyes as he hands it all to Harley, all the scribbled writing and torn pages. “Read these.” Harley blinks once, slow, as he takes the offered notebook with the ripped out papers on top. “What…?” And Peter just smiles and shrugs. “They’re poems,” he says. “I looked some up, wrote down the good parts. Maybe those’ll give you that hopeful feeling that you were looking for.” or: harley runs from a homophobic town and finds solace in poetry and peter parker

the spider-man conspiracy by @tempestaurora

Summary: WHO IS SPIDER-MAN? The screen showed Peter Parker, sixteen years old and determined to prove the identity of Spider-Man over the course of the three-part documentary he was making, unknowing that it would become viral within days of the first part being released. Behind the camera, way off screen, was Harley Keener, Tony Stark’s other prodigy child, grinning like crazy as Peter started the documentary. Only a few people knew what was to come, and those few people were about to have a great few weeks. “My name is Peter Parker, and with the help of my friends, Ned Leeds, Harley Keener, and my Aunt, May Parker, who provided me with a lot of red yarn for this project, we’re going to uncover the identity of Spider-Man.” OR "what if peter just decided to fuck with everyone who didn’t know he was spider man and make a documentary about him trying to uncover the Truth."

5 times Tony kissed Rhodey and the one time Rhodey kissed back by lomku

Summary: Exactly what it says in the title.

Note: I wish I had more Ironhusband fics to rec bc i love them but they aren’t as abundant as Stony fics and the ones i’ve read most recently are Stony.

#fic rec #fic rec list #irondad fics #spiderman fics #stevetony fic #spiderman #spiderman whump #peter parker #iron dad angst #tony stark #iron man #iron husbands #stuckony #stony #stony fic #marvel #mcu fic #mcu

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rahabs · 4 years ago

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How are you staying active during quarantine? I just tipped into 180lbs, highest I've ever been, and I'm getting really depressed about it 😔 I've only gained about 7-8 pounds due to the quarantine, but back in January I was at 163, and I'm really struggling with the fact that I'm back up again after how hard I've been working. It feel like I can't get the weight to stay off, now esp. (Sorry for the mini rant, but I actually followed you Bc of your fitness posts, I appreciate them a lot

Many hugs to you, Anon, and there is no need to apologise 🖤 You are definitely not alone. I have also been struggling a lot with my weight recently (I have deliberately been putting on muscle, about 25lbs of it, but it is still a struggle to do so and to feel sometimes like my work getting down from 210lbs is being reversed--I am up to 145-150lbs myself, even though I still fit most all of my clothes from when I was 122lbs), but please do not be too hard on yourself! Some of that weight gain might be muscle, but I understand how frustrating and demoralising it can be nonetheless, I really do. Like... I really, really cannot emphasise enough how much I understand and how much I get what you’re going through right now, and I wish with all my heart that you weren’t going through it, because it hurts and it makes you just feel awful and so I am really and truly wishing you all the best right now, but also I have the utmost faith in you and despite the setback it is nothing that you cannot fix going forward 🖤

To answer your question, I’ve been doing a mix of things, but the two biggest things for me are that I built myself a routine, and I try to just walk everywhere that I can. Also, I track in an app called MyFitnessPal, because I need to hold myself accountable. The gyms in my city have recently opened back up and I have usually been going five times a week (reduced capacity and you can only go for an hour, but I use every second of that hour because cardio is how I best manage OCD/PTSD/anxiety, and I love love love seeing some beloved familiar strangers at the gym--we all wave happily to each other, since we tend to book the same time slots 🖤), but before they opened up my biggest friend was just walking. I have a lot of joint issues due to my improperly healed torn hip flexor and my former obesity, so I can’t run, but you don’t need to run. Walking is your best friend. Or even household chores. I used to work for a landscaping company, so when I can I will help with the yardwork (even though I dislike it--I try to find ways to make it more fun, and I genuinely enjoy being out in the sun, so there’s that at least). I make sure things stay tidy, I’ve been writing a lot and trying to see friends when I can, or get out to hike in the mountains. If I go grocery shopping and I’m waiting in a line, sometimes I’ll lazily bicep-curl my grocery bags. I’ll walk to the mailbox, I’ll walk through the neighbourhood, I’ll walk to the grocery store or to the nearest gas station. My dogs are old so I cannot walk them anymore, especially since we are under a heat wave, but I’ll get up and play with them. Bottom line: if I could find somewhere to walk and an excuse to walk there, I would. When I couldn’t, I would sit down and exercise by following my favourite home workout YouTube channel. (Seriously, she is amazing; I’ve followed her for years, since her channel was just starting out. I just got a half-sleeve tattoo and cannot use a lot of gym equipment at the moment so I have gone back to her videos, as she provides a lot of modifications and alternatives and just so many good at-home exercises that you don’t need any fancy equipment for.)

The routine is the most important part, though. I need structure, and if I have structure I find that I am less likely to binge, because my brain won’t freak out as much (whether out of boredom or something else).

You might know this already but I’m a (recovering) binge-eater and I also eat when bored or stressed, so I’ve just been trying to occupy myself with things other than food. I had a really bad spot for awhile where I was doing really, really poorly in that department an binged every day, but I finally put my foot down last week and this is the longest that I’ve been binge-free in months. I also have BDD, which I am working on (hard going when my attempts to ask the people around me for help often fall on deaf ears).

I think it’s important to realise that fitness and weight loss isn’t always linear. There will be times where you falter and stumble and when that happens it’s important not to punish yourself--instead just accept and acknowledge that it’s happened and adapt for the future. Like a little AAA battery! Bodies are also weird, and sometimes they react to things strangely. I’m not a professional in any way, but since working to put on some muscle I have noticed that women’s bodies at least like... they are strange things sometimes. And I know it sounds weird, but try not to put too much emphasis on a number on the scale. I’m not saying “get rid of the scale!” or “smash the scale!” or anything silly like that because I think to some people having the scale is really important, so long as it doesn’t become something obsessive you fixate on (I have severe OCD, professionally diagnosed, so easier said than done, but it’s doable by adding it to the routine and picking one day a week where I check in), but make sure it doesn’t become a focal point of your weight loss.

Instead, just notice how your clothes are fitting. If you have body tape, you can use that too. Pick a favourite pair of jeans and just see how they fit over time, or a favourite bra, or something that doesn’t stretch as easily as yoga pants. Again, some of your recent weight gain might actually be muscle mass, especially if you aren’t noticing a lot of change in how your clothes from January fit. When I first hit 145lbs when I was first losing the weight, I didn’t look like I do at my current 145-150lbs, after having got down to 120 and then making the decision to put some muscle back on. Save for some jean shorts that I bought at my lowest weight, because I build thick muscles in my thighs, I still fit all the clothes I bought and wore at 120lbs--including my fitted dresses, my Stampede jeans, most of my bras, and the pair of “check Lulus” I bought because those things are without mercy. I also have a couple really good friends I check in with who know me and who I can trust to tell me the truth when I cannot perceive it myself. And, when I’m being honest with it (which I am trying really hard to be again), I have MyFitnessPal, which has been with me through thick and thin.

If you can, I would recommend a good fitness tracker, too. Fitbit is really good and user-friendly. I have a Garmin now, because Fitbit doesn’t make adult watches or watch bands small enough for my ridiculous baby bird wrists, but I had my Fitbit for years before that and it saw me through the vast majority of my weight loss/fitness quest. It can be very helpful to just help you gauge where you are; most people grossly overestimate how active they actually are, and if you’re up for it, a tracker can be helpful in giving you empirical data from which you can base some better decisions around.

And just do you best to stay active. I do not know if you have any gyms where you live or if they’re open, but I would really recommend getting a membership, though I totally understand that gyms are not for everyone. If not, I really do recommend checking out that youtube channel I linked (Koboko Fitness), and just doing your best to walk wherever there’s the option to walk (and it won’t cause undue hardship/pain/etc). Lift some boxes around the house. Turn doing the dishes into a stretching exercise. If you’re familiar with yoga, do yoga (I do not because I am not familiar with it and it can be dangerous to people like me with joint issues to start if you don’t have anyone around who can tell you if you’re doing it right, but my younger sister is working on a cert and she does yoga daily, even with the baby bump). Many gyms are offering online classes right now too, including the gyms I go to (GoodLife Fitness in Canada), so they can be worth checking out too!

But also just know you’re not in that boat alone. Many people are struggling right now, including myself, so if you ever need to chat my inbox and my DMs are always open (and I can toss my Discord handle out too if that helps), because a support system can really make all the difference. I never had one for the longest time, and so when I fell back on old, bad habits it took me awhile to pull myself out of it (again). I really can talk about this forever but I will stop myself now because I am a chatty cathy but! Please feel free to send messages whenever you want, Anon, and please be kind to yourself! I know it’s scary and I know it’s disappointing because I have been there many a time but you can do this, I believe in you! You’ve had a setback but it isn’t anything that can’t be fixed/corrected and I have faith that you will be able to get back on the proverbial horse and mow down Alexander’s armies in a way that would make the Achaemenids proud 🖤 I hope this helped in some way and that I was able to answer your question!

#weight loss #fitness #long post #text #mens sana in corpore sano #ed mention #ed for cw #anonym #ask #reply

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purple-possibilities · 5 years ago

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so i had a kakasaku flavoured dream last night...

It was a same age au or something similar. Maybe a gen swap, where Sakura is older than the Konoha 12. She’s like 19/20ish here, young enough to be reckless but old enough to be considered and adult. Kakashi was never her sensei. Sakura had never met Kakashi at all in their youth, or at least there was no significant interaction. Maybe he was a couple of years older but not much. She knows of him (because everyone knows about the infamous Hatake Kakashi) but hasn’t ever met him.

Anyways, Kakashi was this mysterious ANBU, and Sakura was still the hokage’s (Tsunade’s) apprentice, and that’s all the background info you need to know.

(More under the cut because this gets kinda long...)

So the dream starts with this visiting dignitary or someone, probably an emperor, but the point is that he had more authority than the Hokage. Somehow, Sakura does something to piss the emperor off (she loses her temper with him? Something like that). The emperor is so offended or whatever it is that emperors feel when the ‘peasants below them have the audacity to think they’re on the same level as the godly emperor’ that her penalty is that she must lose her identity, unless someone vouches for her by sharing their own name. It’s that or be exiled from the land of fire.

Sakura is worried, and somehow there’s nothing Tsunade can do to stop this. Sakura is given some short period of time (let’s say it’s a month) to find someone suitable to share their name. (I say suitable because it has to be someone from an important clan or else the emperor won’t be satisfied; the emperor must approve after all, because he’s a power drunk narcissist so super duper important).

Sometime after the decree is made, Sakura starts having ‘illicit’ meetups with a nameless ANBU (aka she’s hitting it). She doesn’t know who he is, hasn’t even seen his face. She doesn’t ever call him by his name, and he never calls her by her name. They basically just have anonymous, no strings attached sex.

The only people we see around Sakura aside from the mysterious ANBU are Tsunade and Shizune, and neither have volunteered to offer Sakura their names. That or they can’t. Maybe our super awesome emperor wouldn’t approve, idk, it never came up. Naruto isn’t born in Sakura’s generation, neither is Ino or any of the friends Sakura has made in canon. Despite no one coming forward to offer Sakura their name, everyone around Sakura assures her that everything is going to be okay.

In the beginning, Sakura was super worried about not having a name. That’s pretty much what started her hookups with the mysterious ANBU—the need for stress relief. Shizune is seen comforting Sakura a lot, to which Sakura always replies “I have lots of friends, someone will come through for me.” Who is she trying to convince? Shizune... or herself??!?!!?111?!1one!!?? Much deep, such unique.

In the last week before the deadline, and despite no one stepping up, Sakura is not worried. She had been frightened of living without a name at first, but her interactions with this mysterious ANBU show her that being nameless isn’t the worst thing. She come to terms with it, and realizes that living nameless is a lot better than being banished, and that a name is not an identity.

Tsunade and Shizune also seem unfazed, and keep making comments to Sakura about her being fine, that she takes as offhand comforts but seem a little too... blasé. Shouldn’t they be more upset that Sakura is losing her name? They act like it’s not a big deal at all...

It’s the day of the deadline. Sakura is in front of the Hokage tower on a stage or something, the emperor is there, along with Tsunade and Shizune. No one has come forward to offer Sakura their name. Her name is written on her back on like, a white, iron-on piece of fabric. HARUNO SAKURA. It’s placed across her shoulders, like it’s a sports jersey.

As Sakura crosses the stage, Tsunade whispers to her, “You shouldn’t have wasted the sticker.” Sakura doesn’t really understand, but continues to the middle of the stage. At the opposite end is the emperor. She turns so that her back is facing him.

Sakura reaches up with her hand to grab the end of the sticker that says HARUNO and to rip it off her back. She takes a deep breath, and then begins to tear.

Then the battle music from Naruto starts to play (can I just say LOL right here?), and the shot changes from Sakura’s back to like, a first person POV of an arrow as it spins through the air, heading towards Sakura back. It pierces the fabric between her last and first name, so that as Sakura pulls, only her last name gets torn off.

We see a blur pull the arrow from her back, which has only penetrated the fabric of her name label. Then, before anyone can react, HATAKE is taped onto Sakura’s back where HARUNO was. Sakura turns around at the feeling of hands on her back, but only sees the emperor.

“Ohhhh Hatake?” the emperor says, rubbing his chin. “Such a prestigious clan. I wasn’t aware you were seeking a bride, Kakashi-kun.”

Sakura is confused, and goes to reach her hands back up to feel her back, but is stopped when someone grabs them. It is the mysterious Hatake Kakashi, a man she has never met but only heard of. She is confused. In response to the emperor, from his place standing on Sakura’s left (and hiding her body from the small crowd in front of the stage) Kakashi just shrugs. He says something but Sakura cannot hear it; her ears are ringing. She’s married??? What???

The ceremony ends, the emperor is appeased and leaves, and Tsunade and Shizune walk off to continue their work day like nothing lifechanging or shocking just occurred. They are not surprised by this turn of events, and Sakura does not understand. They act like Sakura shouldn’t be surprised either. The small crowd that was watching disperses.

It is just Sakura and this man she has never met before. She turns to face this named stranger, confused, and a little irate, but knows she can’t get angry and blow up—it was her temper that got her in this problem to begin with.

“Who the hell are you?” Sakura hisses quietly, instead of yelling and screaming the way she wants to.

Kakashi shrugs. “No one, really.”

Sakura’s brows furrow. Hasn’t she heard that somewhere before? Kakashi starts to walk off, motioning for Sakura to come with him. Somehow I know his intention is to take her to the Hatake compound, but it’s not explicitly stated and Sakura is still confused. Sakura opens her mouth again to protest.

But before she can say anything else, I wake up.

So to backtrack a little, let me give you some info the dream gave me implicitly that I didn’t include to like, build up the tension lol.

The reason Tsunade and Shizune are not worried and seem so blasé about Sakura losing her name is because Kakashi had come to Tsunade near the beginning of the proclamation to offer Sakura his name. He and Sakura had been sleeping together at that point, so it’s not totally out of the blue for him to have started caring a bit about her.

Tsunade tells Kakashi that he should inform Sakura, and he sort of lies to Tsunade and tells her that Sakura knows about it. And in a way it’s not a lie; this Kakashi is one that’s only ever been in ANBU, he’s sort of damaged, he doesn’t understand normal human interaction fully (not Sai-level bad, but still not properly). Kakashi assumes that by having ‘relations’ with Sakura, she understands his intent. So to him, she knows, even if he’s never told her his name.

I’m not sure why giving someone your name means your married, but I assume it’s because the Hatake Clan only has one member, and that member is Sakura’s age. So by decreeing her a Hatake, and in this backwards misogynistic world, that mean Kakashi ‘owns’ her, and thus she is his wife. There were definitely some dark implications to this, so things going forward aren’t going to be sunshine’s and rainbows.

Sakura is definitely mad about this, and rightfully so—who wants to find out they’re suddenly married to a stranger? Kakashi doesn’t get why she’d be mad since they have been having sex and he thinks he’s been clear with his intentions (the whole, “you’re mine, say it!” “I’m yours!” sort of thing—that’s not how things work Kakashi [facepalm.gif]). It’s also sort of mildly yandere of Kakashi to go about things this way.

If I continued this into a fic, it would probably have yandere undertones but not be dark. So like no kidnapping or rape or anything forced, but Kakashi the Unsocialized is kind of possessive and like, expects them to be really married and is confused when Sakura is upset about it. She’s still sleeping with that mysterious ANBU tho, so Kakashi is like “why is she suddenly mad at me?” and doesn’t catch on that’s she doesn’t realize he’s the ANBU lol. Bad communication abounds.

Not that Sakura would have been chill to marry the nameless ANBU, esp without being told, but like, she sees him as her release from everyday stresses, and so she’s still banging him and expecting there to be no feelings. She def doesn’t have romantic feelings for the ANBU—she knows nothing about him, really. She probably thinks she’s rebelling against Kakashi as well by ‘cheating’ on him.

I do feel that as the fic goes on and Kakashi starts to understand what he did wrong, he’d try to make amends. And then Sakura starts to fall for him and things turn out ok in the end, tho there’s like a rough patch where Sakura learns the ANBU is Kakashi (he doesn’t tell her when he starts to try and like, actually court her as Kakashi, and continues to sleep with her as the ANBU until Sakura catches feelings for Kakashi and ends it). So that caused their second big argument and now Kakashi is like “what did I do wrong now?” because he’s a dumbass.

They eventually make up when Sakura realizes that she loves Kakashi and they have a frank talk about being open and not lying etc. Then maybe they get married for real (aka they have a ceremony and not just whatever that bs on stage was) and they live happily ever after, the end.

#hatake kakashi #haruno sakura #kakasaku #naruto #sweet dreams are made of this #just a little piece i wrote

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mautadite · 5 years ago

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january book round up

27 books this month! the most i’ve read in a month in quite some time, and a good start to the year. a couple days late because i’ve been feeling a bit meh. i doubt i’ll be able to read this much at any point this year. but it’s nice to get a good strong head-start on my yearly goal. a mix of audiobooks and e-books so far.

a land so wild - elyssa warkentin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really lovely epistolary/found media m/m romance story, set during the 1840s, about a ship captain and a naturalist trying to chart a northwest passage in the arctic, and find a ship that was lost five years ago trying to do the same thing. very beautifully told, with lots of emotion that you’d think would be lost because of the mode of storytelling.

how to bang a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a re-read. i remember being very sceptical of this when i first read it, but now that i’ve finished the entire series there’s so much i appreciate about it.

trade me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ my first courtney milan book, after hearing a lot of good things about her. the hype was deserved! i like her writing a lot and this book (a romance between a poor chinese-am daughter of immigrants, and a billionaire heir with an eating disorder) touched on a lot of stuff that you don’t typically see in romance novels. particular what it mean and what it feels like to be poor. this was probably my favourite treatment of billionaires in a novel (at least, ones where they don’t get beheaded).

hold me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second in the series, equally enjoyable. the hero of this novel has to confront and own up to his sexism in ways that a lot of romance novels would simply let men get away with! if i’d known that that’s part of what the book covered i might not have been enthused to read it, because while i genuinely believe bigoted people can change for the better, i’m not super interested in reading about it. but i really enjoyed how milan wrote it, and the romance was lovely. (also the heroine is trans, nice.)

my lady’s lover - nicola davidson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ not a lot of substance, but it’s historical lesbian romance, which is my eternal catnip. a lady’s maid who’s the member of a society for sexual freedom falls in love with her mistress, and happily discovers that the feelings are returned. there’s sex, some angst, and a happy ending,

a lady’s desire - lily maxton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another historical f/f romance. pretty low stakes, without much external conflict, but it had good writing and great characters, and i’ll always have a soft spot for childhood friends to lovers. and let’s be real: i mostly picked this up because of the cover. a woman with her head in another lady’s lap, gazing gayly at her? yes, thanks.

rebound remedy - christine d’abo ⭐️⭐️ eh! m/m holiday romance, about a guy who gets dumped before christmas, has a whirlwind rebound romance with his bartender, and then starts falling deeper for him. nothing bad about it, but i just wasn’t feeling the romance. i’ve read shorter stories that had more chemistry and character interaction.

don’t let go - cynthia dane ⭐️ another f/f romance that i got mostly because of the cover, but this one let me down hard. i liked that it was set in taiwan; had a lot of cultural nuance and tidbits that i enjoyed, but everything else, the writing, the editing, and characters, the chemistry... it was a bust. it also had a weird and baffling approach to mental illness, and managed to be yet another book that makes me hate rich people. also... the two authors credited are the pseudonyms of the same person skfjhdfkj ihni why she’s crediting herself twice.

alone - e.j. noyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED THIS. f/f mystery/thriller-ish romance, though the mystery aspect is admittedly light. noyes has lovely prose and a good sense of storytelling, but the romance is where this really shone for me. which... idk, i’m aware that it might not be for others who read this book. but something about the way olivia fell so helplessly in love with celeste, everything celeste does to hold on to olivia... it appealed to me on a visceral level.

boystown book 1 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ three short stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the community in the early 1980s. it reminded me of how much i love short form mysteries; there’s just something about stories being told that way that i can’t resist. i was also kind of charmed by the way our main character tripped into bed with a cute twink like every 10 pages. :3

poems i sleep next to - shelby eileen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a collection of contemporary poems. really enjoyable. nothing wowed me, but several poems moved me.

how to talk to nice english girls - gretchen evans ⭐️⭐️⭐️ early 20th century f/f romance between a spirited american heiress and a nice proper english girl. low stakes, character driven. not really character driven enough actually; i felt like they didn’t get to spend enough time knowing each other. and some more external conflict wouldn’t have hurt. but it was hot and fun and well-written.

by his rules - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an m/m romance that looks at abuse in bdsm communities, and spends a good long time on recovery, survival, and healthy relationships that involve kink. i really could not get into the discipline stuff, but i really liked that the main characters worked for their HEA; nothing clicked magically into placed for them, and aiden was given space and resources to work out his trauma.

the wolf and the girl - aster glenn gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a retelling of little red riding hood set in early 20th century russia and france that focuses on the friendship between two young women. simple story, very beautifully told.

the secret diaries of anne lister - anne lister ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i started reading this in the middle of last year, after i finished gentleman jack, and i was basically reading snippets at a time until december, and then by january i was eating it all up. i LOVED this. i loved the diary of this at times manipulative, haughty, but kind-hearted and tender and clever woman, and all of her loves and struggles and observations. there’s just something... very good about knowing and seeing that lesbians have always existed, and hearing her first hand accounts is just... GREAT. really looking forward to the next volume.

oh, earthman! - berlynn wohl ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an anthology of short stories. weird, fun, scifi-flavoured m/m erotica.

emma - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ took me long enough, i know! but i really really thoroughly enjoyed my time with this book, especially the audiobook, whose narrator i loved. i loved emma: her cleverness and wit and finesse and all her terrible blunders. though i could tell where the story was going, the getting there was really fun, and i super duper enjoyed the romance (though at one point i got seriously squicked out haha). and fight me: i adored miss bates, i thought she was the best character in the book. LOVE a spinster who don’t know when to shut her trap but is earnest and kind and gentle-hearted and GOOD.

«légendaire.» - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ kaw, i’m begging you, PLEASE write another fell length novel. or novella. please! i love his writing and world-building so so so much, i flip out thinking about it. until he does, these short stories will have to suffice. this was great: everything i love about his writing, revisiting the world and concepts that we’ve seen in his other books, with mesmerising characters and a tragic, but soulful tale.

a conspiracy of truths - alexandra rowland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i love stories about stories, and as far as that goes, this a pretty good one! the one way it failed to grasp me was on the character front; i just didn’t enjoy the main character as much as i could, or as much as i was meant to, and i felt at times he was too far removed from the plot. basically, chant is a master storyteller travelling in a foreign land, when he’s falsely accused of witchcraft and spying. the novel details how he uses storytelling to get himself out of the pickle, and all the consequences that follow. there are some amazing side characters in this (esp. his apprentice, who i will definitely read the nest book for).

animal farm - george orwell ⭐️⭐️⭐️ felt like rereading this, so i did. and i mean, it’s animal farm! it holds up.

the overdue life of any byler - kelly harms ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ like i said above, i like books about books, and i got this thinking it would be something like that? but it’s more about a single mother who gets the chance to take some time off from her kids and her life, have fun, find romance, and how she deals with managing that, and the guilt, and all the elements that are introduced/reintroduced to her life. i don’t think this is an amazing book, but it’s a lovely one, and i know there are middle aged mothers out there who would benefit from reading it. it’s not about romance (though there’s a cute romance in it); it’s about motherhood and being there for yourself as much as your kids.

the subs club 1&2 - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the first two books in an m/m romance series. a group of friends is still reeling after one of them dies at the hands of an irresponsible dom. they decide to form the subs club; a website to review and rate doms, with an eye towards making the community safer for subs, though it doesn’t really work out that way. the first book follows dave, who ends up getting involved with a guy who’s eerily like ron swanson from parks and rec, and the second follows miles, a masochist who gets involved with a guy who likes to pretend to be a vampire (lmao??). i have to tip my hat to j.a. rock, who seems to have a knack for getting me to read things i’d be otherwise sure i wouldn’t be interested in. and i mean, even after reading, i’m pretty sure i don’t want to read other books about domestic discipline or s&m or pretend draculas, but her characters and plots are well written and engaging and i had a really good time. although, i have to mention: the second book dealt with internalised racism in a way that... while well meaning, was definitely not very deftly done.

alice & jean - lily hammond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ post wwii f/f romance set in new zealand. a young widowed mother falls for the dashing woman who delivers her milk every morning. they have to contend with community scrutiny, an old friend of alice’s husband, and her bitter old mother to fight their way to happiness. i enjoyed it; it was simple and the romance was incredibly sweet, though the writing did drag at times.

american dreamer - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DELIGHTFUL. the very definition of feel good romance! a young dominican-american man moves to the outskirts of new york to start his food truck, and almost immediately meets a cute librarian who turns his head. i flipping love queer romances with characters from the caribbean; it just feels so good when slang is part of the language of love.

minotaur - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i read four books by this author this month, and this is hands down my favourite. i don’t know man, combine girls and monsters and lesbian romance and i”M THERE. thera is a teen orphan sent to a home for girls at the edge of town. there, she makes friends, raises hell, falls in love with the mysterious new girl, and also becomes obsessed with stories of the minotaur, half woman half monster, locked the labyrinth in a cliff not far away. this story appealed to me in so many ways, and i really hope the author writes more f/f in the future.

two dads and three girls - nick (yu) he ⭐️⭐️⭐️ the autobiography of a gay man growing up in china, and the story of how he finds himself, finds love, and becomes a father. very sweet.

whew. that took me a while lol. that’s it for january. i probably (hopefully) will be too busy to read as much this month, but i have some interesting books on my plate. currently listening to an audiobook of beneath a scarlet sky, which is unfortunately underwhelming, and i’ll probably move on with some fun YA.

#book talk #long post #extremely long post lmao sorry

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x5red · 6 years ago

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Sixty fun & fascinating facts about the classic Supergirl (3 / 4)

Welcome to the third part of this series presenting sixty fascinating facts to celebrate the sixty years since the debut of the classic Supergirl in DC Comics. Ahead are another fun-filled fifteen snippets of trivia about the original intrepid Argo City teen who leapt from that crumpled Midvale rocket ship. Covering her original Silver and Bronze Age incarnation, in comics and on screen, each factoid is calculated to intrigue and delight – hopefully even seasoned Kara fans will find a few morsels of trivia that had previously escaped their attention.

Enjoy...

31. You can actually visit, in real life, the building where she once lived.

While Superman has rarely strayed beyond his fictional base of Metropolis, Supergirl’s adventures have seen her relocate far-and-wide many times. Some of her homes have been fictional, like Midvale and Stanhope, while others have been real-life, like San Francisco and Chicago. But shockingly, not only has the Girl of Steel lived in real locations, but she has even inhabited real addresses.

A panel in Daring New Adventures of Supergirl #4 (Feb 1983) exposes Linda Danvers’ home address as 1537 West Fargo Ave, Chicago – surprisingly, this turns out to be a genuine address. A later issue, #7 (May 1983), reveals that Linda’s apartment number is 12A. The building that’s currently at that location doesn’t correspond with the one drawn by Carmine Infantino, but if you happen to be passing you might want to check if one of the occupants is listed a “Ms. L. Danvers”.

32. The first theatrically released Supergirl movie was in 1973, not 1984.

As outlined in factoid #2 there was an abundant supply of superheroine movies in non-English speaking markets before Helen Slater’s Supergirl. Indeed so incredibly popular are superpowered females in some corners of the globe that, amazingly, there was even an unofficial Girl or Steel movie over a decade before the authorised Salkind-produced one. The film in question starred Pinky Montilla in the main role and was entitled simply Supergirl. Released on 23rd September 1973 into the Filipino market, the movie featured the Maid of Might’s early 70s costume but changed her origin story. Pinky would also play Bat Girl in 1973′s Fight! Batman, Fight! – and we can assume that the producers probably didn’t ask DC for permission to use the Dominoed Daredoll either.

33. She hated her time in Midvale Orphanage.

The Silver Age always presented Kara’s adventures with a naive sense of wonder and amazement; rarely did it seriously address the pain she must have felt at leaving her parents behind to die in Argo City. But comics changed a lot in the two decades after Kara was introduced, and by the time Supergirl’s origin was retold in Daring New Adventures of Supergirl #1(Nov 1982) a very different spin was put on things. As Kara travels to begin a new life in Chicago, she reflects back on her tragic beginnings as a superhero, including the painful loss of her parents and her feelings of starting over in Midvale: “I was a real stranger in a very strange land! With nowhere else to go, Superman had no choice but to place me in Midvale Orphanage under the name Linda Lee.”, she recalls, before concluding solemnly, “I hated it!”

34. She was a reluctant hero, often feeling out of place on Earth.

One theme that reoccurred during the Bronze Age adventures of Supergirl is how Kara felt at odds with her career as a superhero, and out-of-place on Earth. A story in Superman Family #168 (Dec 1974) demonstrates this more than most, as it brings together three troubled women with extraordinary powers. Supergirl joins her friend Lena Luthor (who has ESP) in an attempt to help Jan Thurston (who has telepathy) come to terms with her unusual powers.

After rescuing a suicidal Jan, Supergirl wins her trust by recounting her own sad journey from Argo City to Earth, explaining that at first she enjoyed the novelty of her superpowers, but quickly came to see them as a barrier. “I’m the mightiest girl on Earth -- and the loneliest!”, she laments, “There’s not a guy on the planet who can keep up with me... Not a single girl can get close enough to be my friend! Sometimes I think I’d much rather have stayed on Argo City!” But Kara goes on to outline how she overcame those feelings: “People like us aren’t different!”, she explains, “We’re just... special!”

35. She planned to start a family, until Kal-El intervened.

In the Bronze Age, DC writers clearly felt free to explore introspective ideas with Kara that likely weren’t possible with her famous cousin. One short story, tucked in the back of Superman Vol. 1 #282 (Dec 1974), demonstrated this more than any other. Kal-El travels to Florida, Kara’s then home, to confront her about suggestions that she may give up her superhero career. “This life of a super-heroine takes up too much of my time... Sets me apart from everyone else!”, she explains. “I want an ordinary life -- with a husband and children some day... Free to do what I choose!”

Naturally her straight-laced cousin isn’t too keen on this idea. He spins Kara a yarn from ancient Krypton folklore, the moral of the story being that she should be careful what she wishes for. “So you see, Kara”, he explains, “sometimes, when we get the things we think we want most... they turn out to be a curse rather than a blessing!” In light of this, Kara reconsiders her plans.

36. Wonder Woman designed one of her costumes.

As most fans know one of the few weaknesses the Man and Girl or Steel share is a vulnerability to magic; so when Adventure Comics #397 (Sep 1970) saw Kara go up against a powerful black magic cult, it was perhaps no surprised to find her badly beaten and her costume shredded. Luckily Wonder Woman was in her mod Emma Peel phase at the time, posing (in-between bouts of super heroics) as the owner of a fashion boutique. Reaching into the racks of clothes at her shop, Diana produces a completely redesigned Supergirl outfit befitting the fashions of the period, which Kara eagerly adopts. (Readers were left wondering whether Diana had redesigns of other hero costumes at the ready, or was Supergirl a special case?)

37. Her mom(s) designed two of her costumes.

Every Supergirl fan knows that Kara’s original costume was designed by her mother, Alura, so that the teenager would be recognised immediately by the Man of Steel when she arrived on Earth. But few may remember that her mid-80s costume, the headband affair she wore going into Crisis on Infinite Earths, was also designed by her mother -- her other mother. Kara’s 80s costume was design by Edna Danvers, her adopted mother on Earth, who (it seemed) was in the habit of whiling away the long dark evenings in Midvale by sketching possible costume designs for her superhero daughter.

38. She’s a fan of recycling her clothes.

The Maid of Might has had many costumes over the years -- or rather, she’s had one costume that she’s recycled over and over since the early 70s. In Adventure Comics #407 (June 1971) a new invulnerable costume was given to Kara by the folks in the Bottle City of Kandor after her original Argo City outfit had been destroyed some months before. A dedicated follower of fashion, over the coming months Kara went through a succession of wild and wacky outfits, some lasting only one issue, before finally settling on her famous hot pants attire for the majority of the 1970s. One might have assumed that somewhere in the Fortress of Solitude there was a wardrobe packed full of retired red and blue super-duds, but Supergirl Vol. 2 #13 (Nov 1983) revealed Kara’s secret -- when it comes time to upgrade her outfit, Kara unravels her old costume at super-speed and and re-weaves the resulting ball of thread into the new design.

39. Demi Moore was the director’s first choice to play Lucy Lane in the Supergirl movie.

The casting net for the title role in 1984′s Supergirl was spread far-and-wide. Director Jeannot Szwarc asked casting agent Lynn Stalmaster to search the whole globe for candidates who could not only act, but withstand the physically and mentally pressure of training for the demanding stunts and wire work. One candidate, apparently, was Demi Moore, who didn’t get the Girl of Steel role but was considered perfect for Kara’s best friend, Lucy Lane. Director Jeannot Szwarc recalled in a 1999 interview, “I met tons of girls. I remember one of the girls was Demi Moore. She was very young and had a great voice. I wanted to use her for the room mate.” But it seems fate had other plans for Ms Moore, as Szwarc explained, “She would have been [perfect], but she was going to Brazil to do a movie with Michael Caine.“ (Moore played Caine’s daughter in Stanley Donen’s rom-com, Blame It on Rio.)

40. One of her rarest appearances is from 1981, only a couple of pages long, but sells for $75+.

If there was a competition to find the rarest publication with an original Supergirl story, Danger on Parade / Le Danger Guette would surely be hot favourite for top place. This tiny comic, just eighteen panels long, was given away inside packets of breakfast cereals in Canada. It features an abbreviated adventure pitting Supergirl against Winslow Schott, aka the Toyman, in the pair’s only pre-Crisis encounter. Runner-up in the rarity stakes would likely go to the Super A and Super B booklet sets produced by Warner Books in 1977 for use in classrooms. The sets didn’t feature original stories however, but reprints with simplified speech balloons designed to teach reading skills.

41. She first met Kal-El years before she landed on Earth.

Gimmick story lines were the order of the day for Silver Age DC, and what better way to create an attention-grabbing dime-baiting cover than to arrange a bizarre crossover -- such was the case with Action Comics #358 (Jan 1968), which saw a very youthful Kara Zor-El in Argo City meet Superboy. The story is predictable fare: in deep space Superboy is scooped-up by one of Zor-El’s science probes, which brings him back to Argo City. Naturally Kara is the first one to discover the probe’s accidental passenger, and (naturally!) Kal-El has suffered memory loss that blots out his life on Earth. Kal and Kara become firm friends over the coming days, until (naturally!) the plot contrives to wipe her memory of him, and restore his memory of Earth.

42. Lena Luthor was the only friend who knew her secret identity.

In the 2015 Supergirl tv show, famously, everyone seems to know (or have known at some point) Supergirl’s secret identity... except Lena Luthor. Bronze Age DC Comics, however, were very very different: Lena first met Kara in Action Comics #295 (Dec 1962), using the name Lena Thorul to hide her connections to brother Lex. Instantly she became firm friends with both Supergirl and Linda Danvers, requiring Kara to work extra hard to stop Lena from realising they are one in the same. The deception finally ended in Superman Family #211 (Oct 1981) when Lena confessed to Kara that she’d worked out her dual identity. This made Lena the only ever friend of Linda Danvers who shared her secret. Sadly it didn’t last long, as by Superman Family #214 (Jan 1982) Lena had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which affected her memory.

43. She didn’t put the “Kara” into Karaoke.

Over the years Supergirl has exhibited some remarkable super skills, including super ventriloquism, incredible memory, and even the ability to read minds, but one skill that she seemingly lacks is any kind of musical aptitude. Despite the modern day tv Supergirl claiming to put the Kara into Karaoke, her comic strip counterpart didn’t ever appear to sing (not even in the shower!) What’s more, as she confesses in the pages of Adventure Comics #409 (Aug 1971), she doesn’t play any musical instruments either.

44. She’s was no stranger to tragedy even before she left Argo City.

Very few Silver or Bronze Age stories dealt with Kara’s life in Argo City, but one story that gave some idea of how she filled her time appeared in the pages of Action Comics #371 (Jan 1969), when a very young Kara is shown witnessing the cruel death of her best friend, Morina. The pair are innocently playing the game Zoomron, involving the throwing a Frisbee-like disc (the Zoomron) at a target. Chasing an erratic disc Morina tumbles into a crevice filled with Kryptonite, and a tearful Kara can only stand and watch as her friend succumbed to the deadly rays.

45. The Supergirl movie was almost entirely filmed in the UK.

Most fans know that Superman I and II owe a lot to Pinewood Studios in Buckinghamshire, northwest of London, so it is no surprise that 1984′s Supergirl returned to use the same studio complex. But while Superman complimented its studio shots with exteriors filmed in New York (Metropolis) and Alberta, Canada (Smallville), Supergirl’s production stayed firmly within the UK. Locations included the banks of Loch Moidart on the west coast of highland Scotland, the Royal Masonic School for Girls in Hertfordshire, and Black Park Lake near the Pinewood soundstage in Buckinghamshire. Shockingly, even downtown Midvale was actually a huge sprawl of street facades constructed as a backlot set at Pinewood -- the 22 days it took to shoot the tractor rescue sequence was allegedly due to the notoriously fickle British weather.

That’s all for part three. The final part, with even more extra-juicy Kara Zor-El trivia, will be available soon.

#supergirl #superhero #comics #dc #dccomics #superheroine #karazorel #kara zorel #silver age #bronze age #superman #luthor

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iitschriis-blog1 · 6 years ago

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whassup, lads. i’m cj... and here’s my flighty girl chris :))))

˗ˏˋ ✧ liz gillies • 23 • female . look ! it’s crystal "chris" macquillian from apartment 4C ! apparently , she moved into moreau apartments eight months ago and are a photographer & waitress. rumor has it, they can be quite hands-off — good thing they’re also laidback, hey ? i hear they’re known as the laissez-faire of the building . ⎡ cj, 20, est, she/they ⎦

crystal macquillian unlike the prestigious tone of her name was born quite literally on the open road -- and maybe that’s exactly where the tone for her entire life was set.

she grew up in keremeos, bc, skating by on charm and minimal effort. you’d be more likely seeing her having a good time on the trails, out at night, than doing schoolwork. being confined wasn’t something she took kindly to.

after high school, she took a gap year to backpack through new zealand and visit sweden and norway and all those cliches to “find herself” and well... she never was quite the same after that. she fell in love with ceaseless movement, not knowing what was coming next, and having the freedom to chose what came next. much to her parents’ disappointment but begrudging support at the same time, she took her college allowance, refurbished the inside of a van with the help of some friends, and picked up a nomadic lifestyle.

she criss-crossed north america for almost another two years in her van, taking photos, blogging, crashing on couches in friends’ houses and cashing in favors when she needed. she lived on a minimal budget, but eventually the money in her account got low and at age twenty-one, she realized maybe she should start figuring out what the hell she was going to do with her life. or at least, what she was going to do next.

it was more luck and the weird turn of the earth that pointed her in a direction. she ended up in prince albert on a friend’s couch. it was a couple nights watching their friend’s younger brother playing for the raiders, a few good shots on her canon, and she had a new path to follow.

she spent time learning the game, learning to anticipate what was next, the next shot, the next greatest THING. it was breathtaking, in some ways --- just the energy of it all : not knowing quite what was coming NEXT.

life is ALL about connections, and while chris hadn’t gone to school, didn’t have academic connections persay ; what she did have was a network of friends spread around the entire globe. and so, somehow, with talent pushed forward with a few nudges from friends and choice conversations. she lucked her way into photography passes at NHL games, and finally, finally landed a position with the vancouver canucks photography team at the beginning of the 18-19 season.

she doesn’t make all that much --- not with a head photographer as talented as the one the canucks have, but she’s learning and she’s content. chris has a job as a waitress to help pick up the slack and does freelance work as well. moving from her van to an apartment was a shock to say the least, but she’s finally getting accustomed to it. she still has her van, of course ; she’s been saving to fix replace the brakes on it.

in pretty much all facets of her life, she goes by chris mac. she thinks that crystal macquillian sounds like the posh daughter of a millionaire and honestly,,, that’s so not her. she’s also relatively entertained when she’s hired for freelance work and they expect a guy to show up.

laissez-faire honestly describes chris to a t. if it’s not broke, don’t fix it. she is the epitome of chill, laidback, and adaptable ; doesn’t let much phase her at all. a true neutral, she also goes wherever and does whatever she feels like in the moment and has a very ‘hands-off’ attitude. because of how laidback she is, she can come across as if she doesn’t care or isn’t trying and it’s gotten her fired from a few jobs.

she’s the kinda person that’s flightly ; the type where you’re friends but you might not hear from her in three months and then get a postcard in the mail because she has all her friends’ addresses memorized.

she’s been in a few relationships but nothing’s that’s ever lasted because they’ve all yearned for some sort of long term commitment or grew tired of her nomadic ways ; definitely more the one night stand kinda gal. while she was still on the move she would sent her ex’s postcards too ( probably ended them all ‘wish you were here xoxoxo’ ).

she can sing ( duh ). on the move she would probably pick up gigs in cafes and bars that would have her to make a little extra cash on the spot.

CONNECTIONS

she has literally been everywhere so i’d love her to have some ppl she’s run into before, esp around north american in general... you know like those weird, oh i remember you were that weird girl back in x doing that thing.

she’s pretty friendly ; people she chats to at the restaurant, regulars and such

someone who like... really wants her to pursue singing for some reason??

maybe an unlikely friendship with someone who challenges her to have more structure in her life --- because honestly gal has so little structure it’s a miracle she shows up to work

idk guys i’m so bad at wc

#moreau.intro

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nordic-breeze · 6 years ago

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I was going through my files and I came over this document I sent to my friend @distant-rain pretty much the same day I realized I had fallen in love with Arthur, after weeks of being in denial or shrugging off my daydreaming of this cowboy as nbd or thought experiments and boy was I confused.

I knew next to nothing about RDR1 when I wrote this December last year and I didn’t know much about RDR2 post chapter 2 either except for Arthur’s fate, which I had just learned of, and oml was I upset and confused. Though also scaringly accurate about certain things.

Now over six months later, I love this cowboy even more. And I kept true to my word. If anyone wanna read the rambings of a fangirl who had just found her new obsession be my guest.

I was blown away by how massive this game is. The level of detail is incredible and I greatly appreciate the effort put into creating this world. Yeah, we’ve all heard about the horse testicles shrinking in cold weather but it’s not like it’s just one bizarre detail being essentially a dick joke in an otherwise average game. No, RDR2 is detailed enough that it actually makes sense to add in peculiarities like that. The amount of wildlife alone, I mean, ever since the PS2 era I’ve been used to seeing animals in games but R* created whole-ass ecosystems in RDR2, several of’em, from snowy mountains to marshlands, with animals that act so much like actual animals. Just listening to the birds singing, it’s like being out in an actual forest!

Characterization is another thing that amazed me, in particular the protagonist. I knew nothing about the first RDR when started playing RDR2, nor did I know anything about RDR in general other than it was western-themed and made by the GTA-guys. I expected somewhat of a similar characterization as GTA where every character is a stereotype or a caricature. I genuinely liked GTAV’s story for what it was and even though every character was more or less an asshole, some of them were also weirdly likeable and even earned my sympathy (and hint of affection) occasionally.

But it never really went deeper than that nor was it particularly long-lasting (still way more than I expected tho). I bonded with one of the characters more than I thought I would but not nearly as much as I would had the characters felt more like actual humans and not like the epitome of stereotypes. But it is what R* wanted and it worked. I expected the RDR2 characters to be the same but to my surprise the characters, especially Arthur, are fleshed out, complex, even relatable (depending on your actions I guess). Unlike GTAV, they act and react like actual human beings. Well, human beings that have lived their entire life (more or less) as outlaws. In a country and time period foreign to me. But still they felt human. Ofc I’ve not gotten to know any of the NPC’s as well as Arthur but from various missions and eavesdropping on their conversation I’ve gotten to know them a bit. Hosea is my favorite. He seems like a good man despite being an outlaw and I love how everyone goes to him for advice and how supportive he is. I also wish more people (esp a certain Dutch man) could listen to him more. I also really like Charles. He definitely got morals and could be a good influence on Arthur and the others. I haven’t seen much of Sadie yet, but think I’ll like her too. Lenny seems nice. That one scene when he and Arthur went out drinking together was absolutely brilliant! And lil Jack’s adorable ofc. Only one I don’t like is Micha or Miach or whathisname. I know no one in the van der Linde gang are saints but that guy is a total psychopath. I kinda wish Arthur had gotten his way there when he said they should just leave him in jail as he was nothing but trouble and it annoys me how Dutch is sticking up for him. Yeah, speaking of, not too fond of Dutch or that German guy either atm.

But all in all very impressed by the large open world, the level of details to well, everything and the characterization. Soundtrack is great, graphics are stunning, animations smooth, the horse-riding simulation is just extraordinary and you never know what’s gonna happen as you ride through the map. The amount and variety of random events and encounters are truly impressive. Often comical, like that wildlife photographer who keeps getting almost eaten up by the wildlife he’s trying to document, sometimes eerie like the serial killer side story, or sad like when Arthur met with his former love. Or a combination of said elements like the pig farmers I ran into. With no pigs. But were still veeery well fed. You know, when people are just a liiitle bit too friendly? That eerie feeling you get when you just know something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until you can. I thought they were husband and wife I really did. You shoulda seen my face when I realized they were in fact brother and sister. Me and Arthur had the exact same face. They were living as husband and wife tho. Well, up until I killed them.

I also love the contrast between the more ‘modern’ world and the simpler life. I could go into town, buy food at the saloon and rent a room or take a bath at the hotel. Or I could ride a few mins out into the wilderness, hunt and gather my own food, cook it over a bonfire and sleep under the stars. Electricity exists, but people are still completely dependent on oil lamps and open flame. Trains and trams exist, cars have been invented, but people still mainly travel on horseback. This contrast between old and new as an era is ending and the modern era is about to begin has been an amazing experience considering the level of detail the game has. The colonization of the new land, which has been largely unknown to me, the contrast between this and modern-day America we see on TV. So many people did not even speak English, I often find abandoned buildings, or burnt-down buildings, some with bodies inside, leaving me wondering what happened to them, I found a ghost town whose inhabitants had been wiped out by a plague. It was tough for many I reckon.

In fact, I find the exploration of this foreign but also somewhat familiar, beautiful but harsh world and its many random events and encounters waaay more interesting than the actual main story itself, which is why it took me forever to reach chapter 3. In fact, the story is probably my least favorite part about RDR2, as backwards as it may sound. I’ve never been into western stories or aesthetics, and I’m certainly NOT into the whole ‘outlaws till the end’ stuff ugh. I fail to sympathize with the whole ‘boo-hoo the world no want outlaws like us no more it’s unfair’. Ugh, go cry me a fucking river. And then go get a job. A real job. Yeah, I get it that adapting to society is tough, life’s tough deal with it and stop preying on others. Wow, robbing two trains in short time and staying in the same fucking area actually has consequences, I’m so shook!

So yeah, story-wise I don’t quite ‘get it’ and Dutch is really starting to get on my nerves, which is probably why I prefer to just ride off alone and experience the world. I guess RDR2 story will rely heavily on being torn between gang loyalty and your own morality and principles but since I have virtually no concept of group loyalty that is all lost on me. My own morals and principles all the way. I’m like, ‘these people suck, take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly (maybe John Marston and his family) and leave these bitches behind’.

At the beginning, I did kinda liked Dutch. He seemed genuinely sorry for Sadie, took her in and saved her life, even if it meant another mouth to feed in dire times. And he showed Kiran mercy despite hating the O’Driscol’s. But as I’ve progressed thought the game, his grand speeches about sticking together, sticking with him, slowly but surely has turned from pep-talk to keep people’s spirit up to sounding like a cult leader desperate to keep his following no matter the cost. Yesterday when I was playing, I overheard him quote some quasi-philosophy book to Lenny and used the words to twist them into his own convictions to support his decisions. And when Lenny objected, Dutch literally said ‘you’re breaking my heart, kid’. Wow Dutch, talk about manipulating your protégé.

It was the mission when those lawmen approached Arthur as he was fishing with Jack that really made me consciously see Dutch in a new light. Up until then, RDR2 had mostly been fun and games but that conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. But I just figured it was the main story finally picking up pace and also, I figured I was near the end of the chapter. I carried on, suddenly eager to see what would happen and was thoroughly surprised by how the chapter ended. In a bad way.

While both chapter 2 and chapter 3 begins with a ‘new start’ vibe, chapter 3 felt very different from chapter 2. Mostly it was that feeling that Dutch’s obsession with ‘sticking to this life’ is going to get people killed. Idk, it’s this eerie feeling something’s wrong but can’t quite put my finger on it-feel again. But thanks to internet being internet I already knew some spoilers so I couldn’t help but to look up something and… well, let me put it this way. I’m never going to finish this game. Ever. It breaks my heart because in so many ways it’s truly an amazing game and a fantastic experience. But I’m just not that into the story, I don’t like where it’s heading and I don’t want to see what’s coming to character(s) I’ve come to care deeply about.

I still want to explore the world more, see what unfolds, do more challenges, add stuff to my compendium, maybe get some trophies… but I doubt I’ll ever progress much story-wise. Quite the contrary, I might reload an earlier save and just stay in chapter 2 forever.

(wrtten a couple of days later)

Seems my instincts was right on the money, esp concerning Dutch. Sad thing, I do believe he is sincere. In the first few chapters at least. He is manipulative but I also believe he’s convinced himself that he’s doing the right thing. And then his obsession will eventually get the better of him and when people and the lifestyle is slipping away from him, he doesn’t handle it well at all. Ugh, it’s so frustrating, I just wanna gather all my favs and yell: “leave nooow, before it’s too late!

It’s not for the sake of spacing it out or making it last. I just don’t want to progress in the story at all. I hated losing Horseshoe Overlook. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!!! Yes the new place is beautiful, yes I know it’s the life of the outlaws and RDR2 does show that life for better and for worse whereas most stories tend to romanticize the whole thing, yes as outlaws they can’t stay for too long in one place. But as mentioned I have a hard time sympathize with and immerse myself into that lifestyle. Yes, I got all my upgrades and a whole new area to explore, a bigger nearby town, and closer to that big city. Still hated it. Horseshoe Overlook was my place. The Heartlands was home. And the view was stunning! And I liked Valentine. It was small and dirty but I had good memories from there. Until I had to shoot up half the town. My motivation for continuing the main story is at absolute zero.

It was more what the transition represented, I guess. You never know what will happen in RDR2. And it’s true, for random encounters, and many of the individual missions. But when it comes to the story as a whole, I feel like I already now can predict how it’ll play out. Every chapter begins with the gang on the move, finding a place to settle down and have a fresh start, even chapter 1 (as they were on the run bc a heist gone wrong or something). Then they settle down, go into town to get to know the area and establish connections and looking for easy money, often at the expenses of others. X random events later, they get too overconfident or careless, screws up or get hunted down, it ends with a shootout, then they are on the run again, finds a new place to settle down where Dutch promises that THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT until they’re wanted on the entire map and can’t go anywhere cos the wild west is ending. I really liked it at Horseshoe Overlook and whenever Im in that area again I’ll just get sad.

I had no idea I’d gotten so emotionally invested so I was really surprised at how much I disliked moving camps and all. I’ve also gotten so fond of Arthur. I was so busy with exploring, doing challenges, learning to hunt etc I didn’t even realize it happening. Until one scene had me almost tearing up! I think because, we as the player really have to look out for him. Even though I make sure that he eats regularly, he’s still underweight. When out riding I usually set up camp when night falls so that Arthur can get some rest. Something I’d never think about in any other game. And I always give him coffee in the morning. Then it’s his journal that gives such valuable insight into who he truly is as a person. There’s no doubt he’s so much more than just a mere outlaw. He writes surprisingly well and is open and is surprisingly honest about his thoughts and feelings. How torn he is between the life of an outlaw and wanting to be a better man, a better person. How he admired Charles because, for him it was ‘so easy to just be good’ whereas he himself always feel torn between good and evil. And his journal entries when he meets his long-lost love Mary and saves her brother from the cultists. The expression on his face as he said goodbye to her on the train station… how utterly heartbroken he was… how she still loved him too… man, that one tore at my heart. Still does when thinking about it.

I wish I could take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly, John’s family and maybe Lenny too with me, run off and start anew. Charles would have good influence on Arthur and encourage him to turn his life around and find his place in society and encourage John to be a better father and role model for Jack and they could all learn how to live as free men and women without robbing or hurting anyone (unless they deserve it). Like, Charles is an excellent hunter and tracker. He’d totally get enough food for the gang and maybe even enough to sell. He could train Jack too. Hosea was always more of a conman/grifter than a brute/robber. He could con bad guys or rich assholes Robin Hood style. If anyone gave him grief, John and Arthur would settle the score. Arthur could sell animal pelts and John could take up carpeting. They’d be such a happy lil family. But, RDR1 is yet to happen so it’s all just wishful thinking *sigh*

#red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #the ramblings of a fangirl #about me

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peilinsirpale · 7 years ago

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We've got it good here

For the @solarpunkstoryexchange Prompt: solarpunk in SPACE (in space colonies, in deep space)

Author notes: I got really excited about the prompt, but fell a bit short due to not being able to work out a plot or time to write. Because of these reasons, this has been mostly left on the brainstorming stage - It starts with a bit of a story and changes into brainstorming bullet points, which span about 3 generations (or more) of people living in the place. I hope you enjoy reading it!

A couple wants a kid. Or, to be more precise, a lesbian couple on the Mars colony decides they want to try getting a kid. Their friends and local colleagues agree to the plan. The Mars colony is a close-knit community, and they collectively decide that they will love and support the kid, whatever they are like. Whether they are rowdy or quiet. Whether they’re scientific or artistic. Whatever gender they are. Whether they're disabled or not.

The earth control doesn't like the idea, but they can't control what the Martians do, only do their best to adapt and help.

The first try- no. Second - another loss. Every pregnancy is keeping the whole Mars base at their toes. Constant checkups. Mental wellbeing regulated as well as physical health. The possibly pregnant woman is given less intense work and sports. She isn't allowed out of the areas with best radiation screening. She does still work, she has to, but she also spends a lot of time studying various things. Stuff about pregnancy, about children, but also music and literature and other kinds of arts. About all kinds of problems that may arise, but also about how to best take care of a child in general.

Her wife does a lot of studying, too, just as everyone else on the base. But she also takes the extra time to be with her pregnant partner. In all honesty, so does everyone. In some way, the child will be all of theirs. While in some way, they will be a child of all of humanity.

When the pregnancy doesn't end near the beginning, and then continues well for months, they are hopeful. And when a baby is born, after several years of trying, the Mars base celebrates. And far away, people on Earth celebrate the first human born off-planet.

As a small kid, the Mars-born child is unaware of their celebrity status on Earth. They will learn what it means, but not yet.

Brainstorming:

"what do you mean i can’t have a hydroponics in my room"

Mars!!

Planting plantsies; Bacterial protein; Critters?

"Is this something I can plant in? What if I add compost?" "Hey can we do smth of this plastic? Melt it? Sun? New packages?" Wind power in Mars?

"Uh-huh wanna be the dad of my kid?" "I'm gay" "It is dangerous™ but I want a kid let’s do it" "Ur their dad but also godfather"

Aka a lesbian couple and a gay guy decide to get kids. The kid lives with lesbians but dad is integrated in life and lives in the neighbourhood

How is it solarpunk? Do they decide to do it or something else despite being prohibited?

Closed loop system

Growing culturally significant stuff even though it’s inefficient - Doing, too

Everything that can be recycled, is recycled

Outside soil made usable via mixing with compost and growing stuff that can extract nutritients from it

3d printing

What plot? Everyday life plot?

Is there a lot of scarcity?

Do they have their own internet places? Earth internet connection, but slow? Friends at earth or other space colonies???

What if someone wants to move there? Exchange student? Could someone from earth be?

Friend with the aforementioned Mars-born kid? A science enthusiast - space kid more of an art person

Jump jump!! Very popular and also healthy. Climbing too!

Exchange students bring lots of Earth stuff with them. Some personal items, but mostly small things. For all, some spices not grown on mars, and other stuff they may need/ want / have requested.

Exchange students/new residents, how many? Five or ten? An nb person too!

Had lots of stuff to digitally read when on long travel. Travel is tiring and they ate mostly packed food bc it’s easy in zero-gravity (but also fresh vegetables that grow fast, and stuff grown in poo made compost - or is it just collected for use in mars? Probs. Other grown veggies)

Getting to know each other on the flight, also gotten to know each other on the before-launch stuff. One had to drop out at the last minute due to health problems :(

When on mars: “whoa there’s gravity!! How do I get used to this again??”

People of different professions. Some doctor, some scientist, some engineer, some person person like psychologist or smth

People exercise but also do crafts. Lots of 3d-printed stuff. Games!! Also on space flight! Full body sport games! Brain games! Very regular favorite games!

Lots of lag on online stuff though :( But lesser quality = ok and faster

Gardeners!!

So much focus on learning. And everyone got to do something, whatever they can. Even if they’d rather do art? Are ppl forced to exercise? Ableism what? How much is there of it?

Growing lights and lamps. Some, in living areas, syntethise daylight and night, some, in agricultural areas, are continuously on

Mostly plants that are small but wield lots of fast food, but some less fast food for special treats (like fruits from small pruned “bonsai trees")

A large open hall for sports, including stuff like soccer, tennis, and various team sports

At first the place is very small. It grows. The amount of ppl grows from less than 10 to more than 30. When the exchange students come, more than 50 - maybe around 70?

Someone rich gets there with their money? But is made to learn to do work and use the money not for themself but for the community. Is taught social and coworking skills etc.

Most people: problem? Research!

Several do digital art to some degree - or blog! Blog a lot. Or tweet or such. Videos! Of what life on Mars is like. Everyone must be aware that the public is interested.

Most time is spent in public areas. Work is often done in small groups. All specialised in something, but can do basics in everything.

Solar panels! Lots! On top of where the hub is underground.

Marswalks done rarely, and remote-controlled robots are used a lot. Robo bees! Roombas! Farming robots!

“Exchange students" the first few with not much previous experience. A bit less that 200 into tests, then maybe a hundred into further ed and evaluation, then a few dozen into training. Finally, about 10 best chosen. This way, younger people. Around 25 to 30 when to Mars. With a few more qualified people.

Biologists manage gardens. Engineers manage repairing and building new and 3d-printers. Doctors manage health. Chemists manage various stuff. Earth can always tell info and such when needed.

Downloaded books, online searches and videos though slow-ish to load. Calls and video conferences. New clothes from hemp grown on Mars!

Induction stove. Lots of food made by once. Stable food: beans? Sugar from where? GMO is used a lot. Sugar beets? Lots of new seeds brought every time something arrives - about every 2.5 years or longer. Good thing: no/few pests. Not many animals, possibly rats?

Most walls filled with stuff, esp. in older areas. Everyone owns not too many clothes. Maybe up to 5 outfits. Every time stuff is brought, they can wish for some. Not much though. A lot is 3d-printed on-site. Few personal belongings - most is co-owned. Works when there are few people and everyone knows everyone.

Baby gets clothes, most made of stuff grown on mars. Cutting made so it doesn’t trash fabric. Clothes are mended because making new takes a lot of resources. Kids’ clothes made a few sizes too big or so they can be easily expanded when they grow.

When exchange students come, there are a few kids. Maybe 3 who were born on Mars.

Kids are familiarized with work on Mars. Curriculum specialised for life on Mars. Made in unison with teaching experts on earth. No rigid school days, but a lot of learning. To work with the adults, though with an extra person to make sure they don’t mess things up.

A lot is automated. Taking care of the automated stuff is important.

Kids are not let into older parts. There are lots of things they may accidentally pull, and worse radiation filtering. They have some toys, 3d-printed. A few plushies, part or mostly made of extra fabric scraps

Space travel done in sleeping bags, they keep them when they come to mars.

Phones/laptops/equivalent for all. VR for games and learning! AR glasses?

Jewelry? Someone likes making it. Clothes, too - and customising! Recipes have to be fitted for Mars. Some people love trying them out.

Kid has a bit bad eyesight.

Main languages English & Russian

When did ppl first decide to *stay*? And not just spend a few weeks/months/years? “Hello we're looking for people willing to live on Mars" or “Hello we’re not leaving" ?

Mars colony grows. Also “Hey we’ve lived here for ages and I like my home planet I want to be independent"

There have been a few generations. Maybe this is the third gen. Someone child of one of the first marsborns. Is older - in 20s or 30s or smth

There is a growing community. Mostly scientists. But maybe a few other professions there too

Someone gets to make food! Communal eating almost daily or more - lunch or dinner? Dinner probably. Lunch often in work groups

Cultural feasts and celebrations are shared if applicable. Seasonings are valuable

Lots is made in laboratory. Even food like meat, but mostly medications etc.

People have to do some work and learn new stuff as long as they can. However most get significant osteoporosis when older. Eyesight loss is another difficulty, but there is an optical station that can make glasses. Things also start being adjusted for use with reduced eyesight.

Should it be somewhere else than Mars?

Over the years, parts of the base are adjusted to become as natural as possible, introducing new species into their ecosystem. Main agricultural areas are kept hydroponics, and some get turned into aquaponics systems (=includes fish, which also can occasionally be used as food)

Settlement at around equator or at middle to pole, on a flat area

Room- or apartment-like parts connected to each other by hallways. Old parts and newer parts. 1 floor and sometimes 2 OR MORE!!Like a department store!! Especially some housing areas. Or like a cruise ship with a “promenade" and rooms with windows there? Elevators?

Climbing is loved and easy because of the lower gravity, but it needs to be made safe because breaking a bone is very not good.

#uhhhhhhhhhhh i have no idea if i like this #i like my ideas but i just wasn't able to make them into a proper story because plot?? what is that?? how does it work??#also english felt so difficult but i blame that it's a foreign language #oma

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haeroniel-doliet · 7 years ago

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gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now) and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it.

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now.

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it. i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess.

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have a ballet company idk.

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim.

#ballet an hobbies and thoughts and lots of things.#honestly noneed to read

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cardboard-moon · 7 years ago

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40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me

You probably already know me decently well or else you wouldn’t be reading this, so instead of rehashing the basic (boring) “getting to know me” questions I dug a little deeper and asked myself about what’s really important. Here is the result: 40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me. Enjoy!

1. What Parks and Rec character am I?

While I could argue for almost everyone on the show I’m probably most like Ben Wyatt: a white, brunette, and sad man who eats soup alone on a park bench (minus his love of math and rollerskate kink)

2: Top 5 books?

To Kill a Mockingbird, The Secret History, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Help, 11/22/63

3: Top 5 movies?

Chinatown, Star Wars, Rear Window, National Treasure (nick cage can be good in small doses ok) and Nancy Drew (2007)

4: Top 5 shows?

Parks and Rec, B99, That 70′s Show, Mad Men, Arrested Development

5: Top 10 most iconic vines?

1) Chris is that a weed/Mary is that a police

2) Hi My Name is Trey I have A Basketball Game Tomorrow

3) Rebecca It’s Not What You Think

4) The one where the girl is just hitting elmo with a baseball bat

5) Anything Kermit but esp. the one where he falls off the building

6) You Know This Boy Got His Free Taco

7) 2 Bros Chillin in the Hot Tub

8) Waelcom to my Keeetchen we have bananis and avocadis

9) Whoever Threw That Paper Your Mom’s A Hoe

10) i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag (yOU SPILLED WHAHULAUG LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINE WHITE BAG)

6: Where do I see myself in 21 years?

One of my dreams in life is to marry the heir to a prestigious winery out in wine country. I have a vision of myself at 39, waking up at 10 AM on a tuesday and standing on my private balcony in my state-of-the-art spanish stucco villa. i am drinking a chardonnay despite the early hour whilst i observe my grape empire in my silk negligee. the only event planned for the day is a portrait sitting for my rottweilers (4 of them), for which i have arranged spaces in the family’s private art gallery. i am aging well despite the harsh california sun and my partner and i have a trip to tuscany planned for the fall. it’s a charmed life and i never tire of eating grapes

7: Top 5 favorite cryptids

1) Nessie (Nessie is a true lady I believe in her)

2) Mothman (not real)/ el chupacabra (possibly real)

3) the kraken (definitely real)

4) Bigfoot (not real but a legend anyways)

5) the yeti (real only in russia)

8: Do I Believe in Ghosts

It’s a complicated topic and of course we will likely never know for sure but the short answer is yes. in my opinion though, what ghosts are is the important question: are they really the dead coming back to haunt the earth? are they just manifestations of energy that the mind interprets into recognizable shapes? hallucinations? or is it wish fulfillment and the reduction of tensions on a heavy conscience? our brains are capable of powerful things, but it begs the question as to whether if a human desperately wants something to be true does the human mind have the power to make it true? c. s. lewis mentioned once that he never understood the ghost debate since, given that ghosts are real, they have no real power over us or anything interesting to say. but i believe that just goes to show how the mystery is far often more important than the solution.

9: Best/Worst Month of the Year

Best: May/November (spring/fall in full swing, holidays, time off school, great atmosphere) Worst: August (too dang hot & start of school)

10: What is one of my embarrassing secrets

I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was nine (velcro ftw)

11: What is my Dream Date

We go cryptid hunting in the woods and have a picnic in the dark; you supply dogs for entertainment and guardianship purposes, i supply drinks and the cryptozoological myths we are chasing. Afterwards we get gelato

12: Top 3 Presidents

(this is based solely on arbitrary opinion not policies) 1) Barry Obama 2) Lincoln 3) Millard Fillmore (his name is funny)

Honorable mention: jimmy carter (he was the only noncorrupt man in office for like 30 years before barry)

13: Top 3 Vice Presidents

1) John Adams, if nothing else but for the drama this man caused 2) Walter Mondale 3) the big boy JB

Honorable Mention: Nichard Rixon

14: Top 3 Secretaries of State

1) Madeline Albright 2) Henry Clay 3) Elihu P. Washburn

(note: secretaries of state have the funniest names, like Hamilton Fish (1869-1877) rest easy Mr. Fish)

15: Worst Activity they make you do in middle school PE

Middle school P.E. is the worst in general but I’m going to say either grading you on your shotput skills (?) or BMI (??) or just the tuesday run in general (luther kids know)

16: Top 4 Worst Scents

1) Washing a knife covered in peanut butter 2) Really cheap perfume that they sell in checkout lines at convenience stores 3) Olives 4) organic deodorant

17: Top 7 Conspiracy Theories

1) The Denver Airport is an underground military fallout shelter designed to protect the 1% from nuclear warfare

2) A Roman pope adjusted the Gregorian calendar so that his reign would fall on 1000 AD so we’re actually living in the year 1783

3) Paul McCartney is dead and was replaced prior to the Seargant Pepper album by a lookalike named Billy Shears

4) The state of Wyoming is a myth

5) Avril Lavigne died and was replaced back in the early 00’s

6) The Titanic sank because too many people went back in time to prevent it from sinking

7) Not to be cliche George Bush and the military-industrial complex orchestrated the 9/11 attacks (jet fuel can’t melt steel beams and all that)

18: Inside jokes with myself

I’m not usually a “gamer” but every year without fail someone introduces me to a game exactly at finals time and I get hooked and it ruins my gpa and study habits. This year it’s Stardew Valley, last year it was Dream Daddy and the year before that it was undertale and I blame Jojo for absolutely all of it bc they are usually the instigator. Anyway, every year I joke with myself about what game will derail my grades this year

19: Top 5 Worst Tactile Sensations

1) Putting tights or leggings on wet, hairy legs post-shower

2) Running fingernails along cardboard

3) Sweating in a turtleneck

4) Having wet, salty hair after swimming that drips down onto your back and makes the top of your shirt damp

5) Reaching into a bag of grapes and only finding really soft, slimy ones

20: Best Cat I’ve ever encountered

One time my friend and I were leaving Romancing the Bean and walking back to her car and the fattest, fluffiest, softest ginger cat I’ve ever seen came trotting up to us and flopped over at our feet. He was such a good boy!!! And so friendly with strangers!! He was very well groomed and just wanted some love, and whenever we stopped petting him he would jump up onto our legs and leave little wet paw prints everywhere, I wanted to kidnap him

21: Best dog I’ve ever encountered

All of them

22: Best squirrel I’ve ever encountered

My dad has befriended a squirrel named Nutty that likes to sneak into his office when the door’s open and steals peanuts. if the door is closed he’ll bang on it and scream until we acknowledge him

23: If I were a furry what would my fursona be

I do not know because I am not a furry. HOWEVER someone who is well-versed in furry matters told me once that I would be one of those long, nervous dogs like a greyhound maybe and tbh I could see it

24: Favorite/Least Favorite Disneyland Rides

My favorite has always been haunted mansion, except for the halloween season when it’s nightmare before christmas and then it’s thunder mountain. I just love the outside atmosphere of the house bc I’m a slut for that southern gothic architecture style. Worst is splash mountain because there’s no seatbelt and LOGICALLY i know I don’t need one but it doesn’t stop me from having a panic attack every time I get on and we go up the big hill as I worry about being flung from the toboggan across the park

25: Least favorite restaurant within 10 mile radius of my house

I live over by Porto’s so I am #blessed to be surrounded by some really dope food. However there is a hipster place a couple of blocks over in Toluca Lake that only serves bizarre food like fried chicken in maple syrup with waffle fries and it’s surprisingly bland, so the lack of taste combines with how expensive it is probably makes it the worst (it’s also forgettable bc I can’t even remember its name)

26: Rank of JBHS history department according to how good of a parent they would be

9.Mr. Bixler - I have never had this man so I can’t say shit. NA/10

8. Ms. Snowden - I’ve never had her either but I’ve heard enough about her between Burroughs and Luther to know that this woman is kind of scary, intimidating and uptight, all things I personally do not desire in a parent. 2/10

7. Mr. Hatch - I love Scott Hatch but he is a tremendous mess of a man. Judging by his wife’s instagram photos his idea of parenting is taking naps while cuddling his children and letting his wife do the rest of the hard work. Plus he seems like the type to be too wrapped up in his own melodrama and too busy hangin out with his best friend Edward Frankenbush playing Xbox to pay much attention to his kids. However, he did skip the first day of school to take his daughter to kindergarten so he gets points for that. 4/10

6. Mr. Lee - Mr. Lee is a very respectable guy who seems like he does a very good job providing for his family. He’s ranked as middle of the road because he’s a naturally private person so I can’t speak to his parenting tactics or personality much, however the few stories he shared about his daughter were very cute and he does the typical teacher/parent things like making her his screensaver on his computer. Overall, a very quality dad and man, 6.5/10

5. Mr. Fitz - Kyle Fitzgerald is similarly a mess of a man, but the difference between him and Scott Hatch is that he seems to make an investment in his kid. He always talks about current events in terms of what idiocy his poor daughter will have to put up with which shows his devotion to her well-being and survival in a confusing world. Also he brought her in to go swimming once while I was working at Verdugo and I got to see them having a great time on the splash pad and it warmed my heart. Great dad 7/10

4. Mr. Piper - Richard Piper is such a good father but in a detached way. He loves talking about his son and wife just as much as he loves talking about planes. The real kicker? When he talks about taking his son ON planes and geeking out over history together. He also asked all of his classes for people looking for tutoring work when his son was struggling in math which is so cute. Good guy Rick gets an 8/10.

2. (tie) Mr. Frankenbush and Ms. Hacker - Ed and Jan are both beautiful people. I know Ms. Hacker is #divisive but I personally am a big fan and would die to have her guidance in my daily life. She’s always interested in what’s going on in people’s lives and sure she’s definitely chaotic but it’s a loving chaos that’s only looking to help other people. I’ve not had the pleasure of having Mr. Frankenbush but he always is hanging out with his son Joey and they love coming to the Burroughs pool and playing water polo together; they spend a lot of time together since his wife works so much and they have such a buddy friendship. Both of these lovely people are super devoted and invested in the youth and would make great parents. 9/10

1. Mr. Clark - A god. We don’t deserve this man and I can’t sing his praises enough. Were were all lucky enough to be Greg’s children I don’t think evil would exist in the world. 11/10

27: Worst book I read for school

Hands down Tale of Two Cities since it’s the only one I’ve never finished. Dickens just doesn’t do it for me I guess plus I get really tired of the one dimensional characters and how much he romanticizes Lucy

28: Favorite little-known tidbit of history

When Richard Nixon went to Soviet Russia as Eisenhower’s VP during the cold war his secret service agents detected higher than usual amounts of radiation coming from Nixon’s hotel room, so they started talking loudly about it bc they knew the Soviets had planted buds and were listening. Within like an hour the radiation had vanished and they never heard anything about it again so man Soviet’s ain’t sly

29: 5 Places in Burbank That Are Definitely Haunted

1. Coral Cafe for obvious reasons, look up the ghost on youtube

2. The View seems like it would have some kind of el chupacabra-esque creature prowling around, maybe a mountain lion hybrid

3. Fry’s Electronics

4. The abandoned train station under the bridge

5. The LA river by the equestrian center

30: Rank of all the AP classes i took in order of entertainment value

9) AP Bio: I liked bio but the class wasn’t very entertaining. There’s not a lot of humor in bacteria and cells, and Mr. Van Loo is much more of a calming than a humorous and chaotic presence, so overall it takes the hit as the least entertaining class.

8) AP Stats: Math is similarly not very entertaining, but Mrs. Hollingshed’s erratic personality gives it the edge over Bio. Definitely more humorous than expected of a math class.

7) AP Econ: I bombed econ and business/money isn’t very entertaining but Jan Hacker made it so thanks to her chaos (love her though).

6) AP Euro: European history is incredibly iconic because, spoiler alert, Europeans are idiots and historically speaking everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I just wish I remember it since I think idiot sophomore Lily slept through most of the class so needless to say I didn’t soak up much of the entertainment value. If it were up to me I’d take it over again and maybe stay awake this time.

5) AP Lit: Lit was just as much challenging and intimidating as it was entertaining, so it balances out. Mrs. Caluya is notably iconic and the books we read were all pretty interesting so it gets a high vote from me.

3) (tie) Gov/APUSH: History is always entertaining in my eyes since people do stupid things out of pettiness. These two tie for different reasons: Mr. Piper is a great teacher and that mock trial we did for the industrial age was great, but the subject was also extremely entertaining overall. I loved reading about how John Adams made making fun of him illegal. Gov was mostly just entertaining because of Mr. Hatch and how salty his is about the government. His sarcastic comments about how corrupt everything is gave life to an otherwise pretty lifeless subject.

2) AP Lang: aka the class with no curriculum, or the Kuglen Hour. I love Mr. Kuglen so much and he is responsible for 99% of the amusement in the class. I somehow learned how to be a better writer by listening to him complain about Trump and everything else under the sun for an hour every day so it was well worth it. Also who doesn’t like a class where you read Dave Sedaris for homework?

1) AP Psych: Without question, this is the epitome of entertainment. Psychology is just a mishmash of people trying to figure out why humans are as stupid as we are and why we do dumb things. Add in all the iconic psychologists and history and a class led by salty Mr. Hatch and you have a recipe for an entertaining year.

31: Top 5 Iconic JBHS teachers that I NEVER had (no particular order)

Mr. Peebles: A quirky man who I would have loved were I any good at math whatsoever

Mr. Arakelian: Band kids hate him but the stories I hear are so frickin iconic that I wish I could be an honorary band kid for a day and see the horror firsthand. If you have Arakelian stories please send them my way I’d love to hear about your pain

Mr. Frankenbush: A sad boi who everyone should get to experience and I regret never having.

Dr. Madooglu: He was so kind to me after the failed anti-trump lunchtime protest last year and he didn’t even know me. I wish I could’ve experienced him as a teacher.

Mr. Clark: The man, the myth, the legend

32: List of some iconic swim horror stories

Charlie breaking his hand after he lost a race and punched the gutter as hard as he could

Some idiot JV boys smearing poop all over the Burbank High locker room

The entire JV team getting Burroughs swim banned from Islands

Me almost passing out at the Los Amigos meet last year after I didn’t eat or sleep all day

Everyone always feigning illness or injury to get out of swimming the 4x100 relay

Getting in trouble for watching boys volleyball practice instead of doing the weight room sets

Every. Single. 5AM morning practice before school.

When coach martin finally figured out how periods work and suddenly we couldn’t use that as an excuse for not swimming anymore

33: What Office Character Would I Be

A mix between Angela, Oscar, and Kelly (we love our dramatic icons)

34: #1 Thing I’d Bring With Me to a Desert Island

Castaway for instructional purposes

35: What Would I call my memoir

Schadenfreude

36: 7 Best Buzzfeed Unsolved Episodes (no particular order)

This is one of my favorite shows so these are my recommendations:

1. 3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - one of the very first and best episodes; a 45-minute special where the Boys investigate the Winchester house in San Francisco, the Island of the Dolls in Mexico, and the Sallie House in Kansas

2. The Strange Disappearance of D. B. Cooper - A man going by the name of Dan Cooper hijacked a plane, demanded money and passage to Mexico, and then at some point jumped out of the plane and was never seen again. To this day no one knows his identity or his fate despite some of the ransom money turning up in a river somewhere.

3. The Haunted Halls of Waverly Hills Hospital - Ryan and Shane explore an abandoned asylum in Pennsylvania and some creepy stuff ensues. One of the best supernatural episodes

4. The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist - An almost hilarious story (with reenactments!) about a seriously inept security guard and the loss of some of the world’s most beloved paintings. This was one of the first episodes after they started making money and the production quality is off the charts

5. The Scandalous Murder of William Desmond Taylor - Another excellent reenactment story about one of Hollywood’s first and biggest scandals, the suspicious murder of a leading film producer.

6. The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman - A woman’s body was found suspiciously burned in the European wilderness and no one knows who she is or how exactly she was killed. Watch if you like espionage!

7. The Strange Killing of Ken Rex McElroy - An entire town seemingly rose up to murder a douchey, violent pedophile. One of the only episodes that’s actually happy?

37: 6 Things I would Have Changed About High School

1. Definitely would have joined yearbook as soon as I could

2. Wouldn’t have forced myself to swim for all 4 years; if the passion’s gone then you shouldn’t force it. It’s just a sign that you need to move on to better things

3. I would’ve taken more AP’s and maybe tried another stem ap class. I’ve always been self-conscious about how bad I am at math, but I’ve gotten a little better over the years and instead of being too afraid to challenge myself I would’ve liked to see how I could do and prove myself.

4. Worrying less about grades!! I killed myself over my grades for like three years and then I just kind of let myself go. I would have let myself have who knows how many more hours of sleep and taken the L on a couple of assignments; I’m still learning that my health is more important than perfection.

5. Meeting the right people! I wouldn’t have restricted myself to a few friends and would have branched out more by joinng stuff like JSA. It sucks meeting the right people your senior year and realizing that I was hanging out with the wrong people this whole time.

6. Spanish instead of French.

38: What Would I Name My Farm Animals if I had A Farm

I’d definitely name them all after female Shakespearian characters. My cows would be Hippolyta and Titania from Midsummer, my horse would be Desdemona from Othello, my chickens would be Gonereil, Regan, and Cordelia from King Lear and my goat would be named Gertrude from Hamlet

39: Most Useless Talent I Have

I have a really strong internal clock so when I don’t think about it too hard and guess intuitively I can usually predict how much time has passed/what time it is without looking at a clock. It’s really only useful for estimating how much time I wasted standing in the shower staring at the wall

40: Top Regret After Writing This:

Writing this instead of studying for my econ test in seven hours.

Thanks for reading!

#writer's project #thanks jen for assigning this i had fun

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