#this except one or both of you is crying
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(COUNT)DOWN TO DAWNTRAIL — day four: shadowbringers
atlas my old friend I found some people want to lend a hand carrying the weight of the world
#ALWAYS crying about d'alia and thancred but especially over their growth in SHB#ha ha what if we were both stubborn people who always try to be a pillar for others to lean on and hide behind a façade of strength#and both internalizing guilt over the same woman we love; sister to one and (former) lover to the other#because she died to save a world and now it's on us to finish what she started#except now the warrior of light/darkness is a heap on the floor and perilously close to transforming into a monster in her efforts#with all the brunt of responsibility to take on the light and fresh guilt of losing the battle with it on her shoulders#and all you can do is carry her half-conscious mumbling body down the mountain and swear she'll see her family (sid + rielle) again#because she never left you alone in all her needling to support *you* and you will return the support even this much#learning to rely on each other……..#(count)down to dawntrail#dani plays ffxiv#game: ffxiv#oc: d'alia liveq#ch: thancred waters#lavampira poses#ffxiv gpose#gposers#miqo'te#shadowbringers spoilers
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Lianfang-Zun became a baby⁉️
#LXC NMJ and NHS seem to be doing a pretty bad job with the baby#i vote we take him away#for uh#safekeeping#I bet baby JGY would cry a lot but in a silent way#you look away for one second and he begins bawling#except you have no idea because he's not making any noise#wish the fish#mdzs#Jin Guangyao#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#lan xichen#I wanna tag with character ships but also i don't quite think this qualifies as ship art?#hes a baby#so the most everyone will be doing is fighting over who gets to play babysitter#i think it'd be funny if NieLan think they'll win bc they're both elder brothers only JGY to gravitate towaeds NHS#surprise surprise art student can do art
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said it before but avdol's hobby being "collects old books" reveals a fucking lot about his personality if you know old book collectors, i'm afraid. they like. know shit about publishing houses. editions. locations. the inks. they "specialize." i actually headcanon him as specializing in collections of myths, folklore, and fables- but he also really really loves any kind of translation. he collects multiple different translations of his favorite collections of folklore and sits down and compares localizations. he will hunt down an obscure japanese translation of monday begins on saturday that did not sell well.
i also feel like that hobby could be a reason why he reads a lot more languages than he speaks.
#he's just like me i can read german but if you ask me to speak a sentence or formulate one of my own? i Will start crying#i also have a lot of avpol language hcs#like. i think avdol reads more languages than he speaks. i think polnareff picks up functional language! but like.#his working vocab literally DISINTEGRATES if he doesn't use that language on a regular basis#he soaks language up quick but he forgets it just as quick#except! numbers! he's good with numbers and he'll typically both pick them up faster and forget those slower#mohammed avdol
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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when i said that mha ripped off naruto (which i said only to piss off mha stans anyway) I didn't mean to sound like i was praising naruto. it was actually more like a sigh of disappointment, a reaction to seeing that all the problems that naruto had as a show transpired trough mha too and i was tired because watching naruto was enough for me but then i realized that my problem actually is that i can no longer stand watching shonen anime and i chose not to tire myself by cringing at the repetitive tropes and cliches anymore
#demon slayer falls under the same category sadly#actually it was more a combination of these 2 that made me realize that i had enough of this genre#me judging other shonen having as reference only naruto#but look! i watched both mha and demon slayer and my personal point was proven that i would get bored by them#(with the exception of some rare moments that were really good in mha but the bad and cringe moments made me forget abt them)#like i remember crying bcs this dude who trained deku died but then i remembered that a few episodes earlier he ''punished''#one of his female students by tying her up a ledge and tickling her with a feather :|#LIKE WHY DID YOU NEED TO PUT THAT IN THE STORY? HORIKOSHI OR WHATEVER THE MANGAKA'S NAME IS#WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO ADD THAT IN???#and then you tried to make me feel sorry for the guy too?#that was such a jiraya death moment like they were playing it a sad but all i could think abt was ''rip bozo''#not saying that other anime don't have cringe moments. even moments that i had to skip because of how gruesome they were#but they sorta make sense in the big picture of the story? but other characters experience it too not just a category of people? idk#also it's funny how pissed mha stans get for having their show insulted like#when i tell ppl that my fave anime/manga are evangelion; black lagoon#and berserk they look at me like i deserve to be put in an electric chair#like they are right but at the same time i find it funny and i rly don't care#but these guys always go bananas if you insult their fav show as if you broke the geneva convention#i'd say that it's because the majority of the fans are children but i know for a fact that they are not 😭
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lofpapte. lifepate. life update
taikopilled or whatever the kids say these days. hitting drum all the time. desperately in love, or whatever the kids say these days. consumed with emotion. bursting at the seams with language. almost through to the end of the semester and look at these cool earrings i made will you do you like cool things do you want some earrings
#unironically selling them for 35$ a pair i had them at the cherry blossom festival today but#no one bought them!! they are cowards!!!!#anyway#here is my obfuscatingly vague blog post of the day#or year actually#much has happened and much has been discovered and SO MUCH CRYING#and HEARTBREAK and DESPAIR and HOPE and stuff#i cannot tell you all about it but i can draw a comic and i Will. mark my words#come the summer#which by the way i will be spending in australia playing taiko because that is the path i have chosen#life updates#i love you all and miss you dearly. i would be an Online guy except i am emotionally destroyed for both good and bad reason#too many wonderful people in this world. what can i say
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Someone stop me before I buy what materials I need to start practicing printmaking
#i keep getting the urge to start a new creative hobby/get back to something like once a month or so these days#which is a welcome change from the times where i didn't want to do Anything#but also man oh man is it not good when the hobby requires materials to work with#i nearly bought beads to start making like bracelets and those classic bead lizards and stuff#but i was like 'no you don't have the money for a new hobby stop it'#and now i'm like 'hey i've been seeing a lot of printmaking stuff online lately. i remember liking doing that when i tried as a kid'#(though iirc i did the carving on metal instead of lino but i'm not sure if i did both actually? it's been so long)#and now my brain is on a one-track path to 'what would i need if i were to start printmaking'#meanwhile my clay and other sculpting stuff collects dust#i haven't even managed to paint my newest figurines#i swear to god i've inherited this bonkers yonkers hobby hopping from my dad#except he can commit to things sometimes#i do things for a while and then i get bored and have to do something else#but then luckily i never get like forever bored with a hobby i'll always get back to it eventually#but man. the amount of materials and the room and money i'd need for them... crying emoji...#personal
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the way you miss me is very jalex-coded to begin with but especially when you realise that that's the only song on tmia that was written just by alex and not by jack. ie it reads like a breakup letter from alex to jack. excuse me while i go cry myself to sleep
#like considering that jack co-wrote every song on tmia except that one#also think about how both twymm *and* lyr (ie both possible jalex songs) use the word 'darling'#canon alex calls jack darling 😭#well#canon ish i guess#canon from my opinion?#idk#but hey#if you needed to cry today#idk i hurt myself so now y'all gotta hurt too#alex gaskarth#jack barakat#jalex#all time low
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well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'
#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me.#I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose'#this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it#the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot#and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly#this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN.#I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it#AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still...#OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME.#trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time)#I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it.#my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number'#when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct#my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒'#going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed#including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim#like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right'#because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY.#no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about.#I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though'#which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect#and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character.#'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up'#you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot.#maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people#or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say.#about me
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nate and trent during s3/post-canon has got to be like. a hilarious dynamic. not to mention nate returning to richmond and like. trent crimm is also here. they're like yeah he's our emotional support biographer now. yeah he's been around all season. we like him now. they make the world's most awkward eye contact before both immediately fleeing in opposite directions.
#actually i think they would get along i would like to see it#but also how do you reconcile you both did something you super regret to hurt someone you both care about a lot? and like#how exactly that happened? how trent quit about it and also BURNED NATE AS A SOURCE? how nate was the one who made the situation?#etc etc etc. but like also i dont think. like.#i get fanon of trent being all protective or whatever but i like to think he's taken enough cues from ted that he's also just like.#i get it. hurt people hurt people. and nates like what you dont hate me? you LSOT YOUR JOB but like#no. trent doesnt hate him. how could he#also this is made ten thousand times funnier in a tedependent fix it fic because nate comes back full of regret and crying and like#trent crimm--who WROTE AND PUBLISHED THE ARTICLE HE FEELS SO BAD ABOUT--is just. Also There.#vibing. everyone likes him now. how the hell--#and then when nates like [trying and failing to be casual] hey so um. why is. why is trent crimm here?#he gets the following answers:#a) he's writing a book about us! b) he's writing a book about ted! c) we think he and ted might be kissing. unclear#nate comes back to richmond and teds like oh trent? yeah hes my bf <333 and nates like hes your WHAT#also see: nate is a really sweet dorky and kinda anxious person and now hes kinda back there at this point except#hopefully with more self confidence and ability to stand up for himself#versus trent who always seemed so confident and cool. now letting himself be a sweet dork at the cost of being less confident/firm#like. i just think they'd be neat is all#let them bond over being dorks actually
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still coping so horribly with the fact that i'm done in the lab
#got a grade back for an exam and started crying bc me n this other girlie in lab both took it & been talking about still not getting graded#well i just saw i did. on friday. my last day in the lab. i hadnt seen it that day tho#and i just started crying bc i'll never get to talk to her about it#i'll never get to talk to her at all probably#i'm so upsetttttttt the past three weeks especially have been so so fun and theyll keep having fun and i wont be part of it anymore#everyone will be back in tomorrow except me#i really never mourned anything in my life having an end like i am doing with this#it was one good thing that happened to me in a while and it has to end and i'm back to having nothing again#you have so much to do and i have nothing ahead of me. bye#nesi rants
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IM CRYING IM BAWLING IM SOBBING (episode 12 of love live school idol punched me in the gut)
#crow talks#love live#HONOKA. KOTORI. WAHHHHHHHHHHH#they said “let's make this young boy realize that in this one part of his life he was just like honoka/kotori except he had only himself!”#AND IT WORKED.#i didn't think i would cry over love live but here i am crying. (i ramble abt how these girls hit me right in the feels)#it wasnt madoka levels (snot dripping and nonstop tears) just. tears bc of how much i understand both kotori and honoka's struggles.#i was literally kotori last year without an umi. i had to do it myself but it was too late and i never got a proper goodbye.#i was also honoka a few times. kind of. that feeling of a friend leaving you and how you feel it couldve been stopped if you simply paid--#more attention to your choices and the people around you. i understand that part too well. ive now learned to do better and pay attention--#to others and think over how my choices effect things in those around me but im still struggling. im still learning.#i dont knoww..... bushiroad just knows how to make me go 'wow i understand your struggles to a degree so concerning it makes me worried'#anyway time for me to watch ep 13 im probably not gonna cry
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hi spot!! im not very good with words but i need you to know your tags are doing incomprehensible things to my brain and they mean so much coming from you aaaaa ;v;;;; anyways i hope u have an epic day !!!!!
hello hello!!!! gjkdsmklsdmgklsdm you're welcome and i'm very glad that they do!!!!!!!! your creations and you deserve to be complimented to space n back, i swear. thank you for the well wishes and your creativity and i hope your day will be wonderful as well 💜
#Spot says stuff#'from you'- from me??? what about when You write smth about mine!!!!! THAT means a lot to me comin from u!!!!!!!!!!!! jaysus chwist#spiderman pointing meme except we are both crying over each others works i guess!!!!!#you know when you have an artist that you really look up to and just cant help but love every single one of their brush strokes#thats literally you to me#i should follow u actually god dammit my boomer habits im right on it
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kaiser calling u his stupid darling
#LISTENNNNNNNNNNN#smth abt him being sooo smug and arrogant and sure that ull fall in love w him#except u dont . and now hes crying and throwing up bc he wants u so bad#all he wants is for u to look at him w loving eyes and to kiss him breathless#except u Do Not Care whether he lives or dies#ur his stupud darling!! how dare u not see his charm!!#only for him to melt once u do fall for him and hes j fawning over u constantly#pretends like ur inferior to him bc hes an undefeated emperor blah blah but you both know that ur actually the one calling the shots#so maybe kaiser shld be YOUR stupid darling instead
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i know it’s not wipwed but i am having feelings abt my two oldest* OCs okay
“If you mean to say that I am a poor judge of character, there is no need to waste breath,” he said, stiff.
She huffed out a breath and then turned, sitting on her hip to reach out with the hand not holding her staff. Catching his hand, she tugged it from his elbow, and he scowled at her, trying to pull out of her grip. She curled her fingers into his palm and held tight.
“Someone always has to leave first,” she said, squeezing once, “and it was never going to be you.”
He looked away, throat suddenly thick. She was wrong. Valyn would never have gone to such lengths, would never have— If he wanted the throne, why had he never asked? Callebero had never held back from giving him all that he could: his company, his favor, his support in all matters. What was a crown in comparison to such things?
His breath hiccupped, stuttering in his chest.
“Oh, abja,” Malia said. “Little brother. Come here.”
With the hand still clutching his, she pulled him close, and he turned to her, hiding in her embrace. He was too tall and they were both too old to be sitting in the dirt like this, but Malia wrapped her arm around his shoulders and held him close. One hand soothed up and down his spine as if he was a little child, and the other held tight to his.
#tf when ur adoptive little brother gets betrayed by your adoptive baby brother#and ur kinda like#'i mean....someone was bound to do it'#but also. v sad bc u are both well-acquainted with the sundering of loss#and you had thought#hoped—wished that the three of you were free of such concerns#even as deep in ur heart#u knew that these things don't make exceptions out of mercy#my writing#story: tcp#ch: malia#ch: callebero#this is also like#on the one hand: lil bro crying#on the other hand: the heart-splitting relief of him actually expressing an emotion#of actually feeling like ur bro is returned to you#even if it's in the most painful of ways#better grief than nothing#but still#still#meanwhile callebero is just like: if i give them everything they want if i am useful and help them and am good to them#then they won't leave me#if i make myself invaluable to them they won't throw me away
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"Don't read Holocaust literature before bed," my professor warned.
"Welp, this is the only time I have to read before class tomorrow!" I replied, opening the book.
I will now never read Holocaust literature before bed.
#We were reading book two of this one series#and book one is archived on the internet archive#so i read both of them#and i can't read the final book because i can't find it#anyway. i've never actually wanted to cry at a book#(except for that warrior's book but to be fair that was like book 48 and i'd read the last 47 three times and 48 killed my favorite char)#but um. yeah. im gonna have nightmares#and if i see any of you bitches playing hogwarts legacy i'm throwing hands#if you have a hogwarts house in your bio. remove it. now
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