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#We were reading book two of this one series
inkspiredwriting · 2 days
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Flirting Flops and Jealousy Jokes
Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader
Warnings: none
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Five Hargreeves and his wife, Y/n, had a playful and competitive relationship, always trying to outdo each other in various games and pranks. One afternoon, Five, feeling a bit mischievous, decided to test the waters of jealousy. His plan? Flirt with another woman and see how Y/n would react.
“I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” Five muttered to himself, adjusting his collar as he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. “Just enough to make her a little jealous.”
They were at a café with some friends, including Klaus, who was already sipping a fancy cocktail and eyeing the other patrons with a knowing smirk. Five scanned the crowd and spotted a woman sitting alone at the bar, engrossed in a book. She seemed like a safe target for his little experiment.
With a casual stride, Five approached the woman at the bar. He flashed a charming smile and said, “Hello there. You look like you’re enjoying your book.”
The woman glanced up, clearly taken by surprise. “Oh, hi. Yes, it’s really interesting.”
“Mind if I join you?” Five asked, leaning against the bar with what he hoped was a suave demeanor.
The woman seemed slightly flustered but nodded. “Sure, I guess.”
Five launched into a series of light compliments and small talk, keeping an eye on Y/n from the corner of his vision. She was chatting with Klaus but noticed Five’s new friend almost immediately. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she excused herself from Klaus, making a beeline for the bar.
Y/n, trying to keep her composure, sauntered over to Five and the woman. She slid her arm around Five’s waist, plastering a sweet smile on her face. “Hey, darling. Who’s your new friend?”
Five, inwardly thrilled that his plan was working, kept his tone nonchalant. “Oh, this is, uh...” He turned to the woman, suddenly realizing he hadn’t gotten her name.
“Linda,” the woman supplied, looking slightly uncomfortable now.
“Yes, Linda,” Five said, trying to regain his composure. “We were just discussing books.”
“Books, huh?” Y/n said, her smile tightening. “Well, Linda, Five here has the most interesting taste in literature. Isn’t that right, honey?”
Five, sensing the tension in Y/n’s voice, tried to smooth things over. “Absolutely. Linda, have you ever read about quantum physics?”
Linda’s eyes widened. “Um, no, not really. I should get going. Nice meeting you both.”
As Linda hurried away, Five turned to face Y/n, a triumphant grin spreading across his face. “Someone jealous, are we?”
Y/n folded her arms, giving him a look that could melt steel. “Jealous? More like annoyed that my husband is trying to flirt with other women.”
Five chuckled, pulling Y/n close. “It was just a little experiment. I wanted to see how you’d react.”
Y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Well, congratulations, you got a reaction. And now, you’re going to have to make it up to me.”
“Anything for you, my love,” Five said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “What’s your price?”
“Let’s see,” Y/n pretended to ponder, tapping her chin. “How about you make me dinner tonight? And no takeout. I want the real deal.”
Five groaned playfully. “Fine, but don’t blame me if the kitchen ends up in flames.”
Klaus, who had been watching the whole scene unfold from his spot at the table, burst into laughter. “You two are hilarious. Five, you’re lucky she didn’t dump that cocktail over your head.”
Y/n laughed, poking Five in the ribs. “That’s because I love him too much to waste a good drink.”
Five grinned, wrapping his arm around Y/n’s shoulders as they walked back to join their friends. “And that, my dear, is why you’re the best wife in all the timelines.”
That evening, Five attempted to make a fancy dinner for Y/n, as promised. Despite his best efforts, the kitchen soon resembled a war zone, with flour and sauce splattered everywhere and smoke rising from the oven.
Y/n, sitting at the counter with a glass of wine, watched the chaos with a mix of amusement and affection. “You know, you’re actually kind of cute when you’re trying so hard.”
Five, waving a dish towel at the smoke detector, turned to her with an exasperated smile. “Remind me never to make you jealous again. This is way too much work.”
Y/n laughed, taking another sip of her wine. “Agreed. But it’s the thought that counts.”
Finally, after much trial and error, Five managed to present a somewhat passable meal. They sat down at the table, clinking their glasses together.
“To experiments that backfire,” Y/n toasted, her eyes sparkling with laughter.
“And to the most patient and forgiving wife,” Five added, his gaze full of love.
And as they enjoyed their meal, Five realized that no other woman is as wonderful as his.
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Controversial opinion: I really like the new Fourth Wing bonus chapter. Do plot inconsistencies annoy me? Yes (I’m still not over the fact that Baide seemed to change gender halfway through Fourth Wing with zero explanation). Does Xaden being pathetically down bad for Violet cancel that out for me? Absolutely.
A few things I’d like to address:
The main plot inconsistency: Xaden and Liam being fostered by Lewellen after the execution. I didn’t notice this at first, but apparently it was said somewhere else they were fostered by Duke Lindell. A part of me thinks we might get an explanation for this later on in the series, but it may just be that Rebecca Yarros wrote this like a fan fiction at 3am and didn’t fact check properly.
There was a lot of exposition for a bonus chapter. This is the thing that made me go “ummm you really wanna tell us this now?” because unlike the other two bonus chapters, we got a lot of background information for the story: Imogen dropping daggers as the reason she wasn’t present in the briefing room, and Xaden and Liam being taught battle strategy as kids. Nothing major, but still stuff that dropping it somewhere else in the main books as well or instead would’ve been better.
Xaden being completely certain of his love for Violet, then not telling her for another six months. I mean it’s like he just begrudgingly accepted it at some point after they kissed (probably because Sgaeyl bullied him into admitting it). Don’t get me wrong, reading about Xaden being pathetically in love with Violet actually made my year, but it still pisses me off that he waited that long to tell her in Iron Flame.
Things I liked about the chapter:
Xaden and Liam. “Yours are better” I LOVE THEM. Also the way Xaden sees Liam as a brother 🥺
Sgaeyl mocking Xaden. Her imitating Xaden pining after Violet was incredible, I can’t wait for more of her in the next books.
Xaden taking any opportunity to slander Dain. Not them just having staring contests across the briefing table lmao.
Xaden being pathetically in love with Violet. This one needs no explanation. I love the boy obsessed trope and will hear nothing bad about it.
I just really love reading Xaden’s POV. He’s so sarcastic and petty, I genuinely adore him. I will always be happy when we get a new bonus chapter, arguments about capitalism and international availability aside.
This bonus chapter felt like reading a fan fiction, but my god was it entertaining. And I read to have fun, not to close a book and think “excellent, a new range of pretentious talking points for my next garden party”.
Read the chapter here.
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krindor · 22 hours
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Jewish Life Pre-Diaspora: Jewelry
In my previous post in this series, I looked at something ephemeral and best seen in art; women’s hairstyles [x] and came up a bit short. While I’ll get to men’s hairstyles later I wanted to do something a little easier first, and so am doing a topic archaeology is the best tool at answering: What did indigenous Israelite and Judean people wear as jewelry?
Amir Golani has written the literal book on the subject, and so I’d recommend for further information and techniques you should read his book Jewelry from the Iron Age II Levant or his article Revealed by their jewelry: Ethnic identity of Israelites during the Iron Age in the southern Levant, but I’ll provide a summary and some images here.
Since in his writings on the topic Golani found the Israelites and Judahites (the members of the two Israelite Kingdoms in Canaan in the Iron Age) to be similar in ornamentation trends and groups them together, I’ll be doing the same here under the umbrella term Israelites.
(looooong post beneath the cut. you have been warned.)
Part 1: Distinctly Israelite Jewelry
While trade and the movement of craftspeople led to the dispersion of different styles of jewelry around the Mediterranean, we can see trends that indicate certain pieces of ornamentation are distinctive to Israelite culture.
Three types of pendants, usually made of bone or ivory but sometimes of terracotta or stone, follow the history of the Israelite kingdoms to a surprising degree: originating around the 10th century BCE and disappearing in the 8th Century BCE in the North, and the 7th to 6th centuries BCE in the South (matching the beginnings of the diasporas of Israel and Judah, respectively).
1.1 Club Pendants
These pendants are typically 4-9 cm long shaped pieces with rounded ends and a slightly conical shape. They have been found as far north as the Lebanese Coast and as far south as the northern Negev Desert, though most examples come from the historic borders of the Israelite Kingdoms. Some were plain, but many have bands, latticework, or ring-and-dot ‘eyes’ incised into them.
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Similar pendants are found in Ephesus (in Asia Minor) and various sites on the Greek Mainland, but these all date to after the 8th century BCE, are truncated at the top rather than rounded, and only have the horizontal bands as decorations and may have arrived with Phoenician traders (as they had been found in the Phoenician city of Byblos in modern day Lebanon).
1.2 Plaque Pendants
These plaques were made of bone and usually had a stringing hole at one end, or with a tab to be attached to a string. Unlike the club pendants, they have more than a single shape; they can be rectangular or oval, circular or teardrops, and are incised with ring-and-dots, lines, and chevrons.
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These have a much smaller range than the club-pendants, with most only being found in the territory of the Judean Kingdom. Two were found at Meggido in Israel’s territory, and one at the site of Hama in Syria.
It was at one point theorized that these served as calendars, since some examples have three rows of ten uniform ring-and-dots, the presence of examples with other, non-calendrical numbers (such as 17) indicates that this could not have been their only use.
1.3 Mallet Pendants
The most restricted of the Israelite pendants, both in morphology and in chronology, these pendants are made of two pieces of bone or ivory; a cylindrical head often decorated with ring-and-dot incisions, and a thin shaft pierced at one end for suspension that was inserted into the head at the other end.
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These pendants appear in the 10th Century BCE, but disappear in the 8th Century, despite being found in both Israel and Judah.
The hammer form of these pendants, as well as their strict morphology, has led some to theorize that they were used to identify the wearer, though it is unknown if that identity would be to a profession, religion, or some other faction. Similar looking pendants are found in Sardinia in the 12th-10th centuries BCE, as well as Etruscan Italy and Greece in the 9th – 7th Centuries BCE, but those are made of cast bronze and are a single piece. There, however, we know from context that they were probably linked to the wearer’s profession. Whether this bears true for their Israelite counterparts is still unclear.
Part 2: Inherited Canaanite Traditions
While the bone pendants appear to be an aesthetic choice that evolved along with the Israelite identity, as a part of the Canaanite cultural tradition, Israelites also continued to create and wear adapted forms of Canaanite jewelry. Several styles of metallic jewelry that Canaanites also wore, and do not have aesthetic designs credited to the Phoenicians to the north, may be concluded to be the work of local craftspeople in the Israelite kingdoms.
2.1 Crescent Pendants
These are flat crescent-shaped pendants typically made of copper alloys, silver, or gold, though bone examples have been found. They are either strung through a hollow tab at the center of the pendant, connected to a string via two perforations in the crescent itself, or possibly directly sewn into clothing by those same perforations.
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These pendants first appear in the area in the Middle Bronze Age (18th - 16th centuries BCE) and appear in archaeological contexts through the Iron Age II, with designs getting simpler over time.
What they represent is debated. Most intuitive to most people reading this would probably be the crescent moon, which was a widely used symbol in the Ancient Near East, either as a symbol of fertility or of redemption and regeneration. The moon cult has been extant in the region for a long time at this point (Jericho, one of the oldest cities in the world, is named after the local moon god Yarikh, who is also the source of the Hebrew word for The Moon, Yareakh).
Other hypotheses include bulls horns or boars tusks, the later of which were used in the area to ward the evil eye away from horses through the Ottoman Period in the Levant. This is further supported by one of the specimen from the Middle Bronze Age in Megiddo is apparently too large to be worn comfortably by a human, and lines up nicely with a story from the biblical story of Gidon taking crescents as spoils of war from Midianite camels in the book of Judges.
2.2 Rings
2.2.1 Finger Rings
Finger rings with bezels (a wider portion used for mounting or displaying an object or image) are by no means a Israelite invention; the style they imitated comes from Egyptian scarab rings, named for their scarab-shaped bezels, which first appeared around 2000 BCE. However, types were worn by Israelites, and their innovations on the style are of interest.
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(Egyptian scarabs and scarab rings, via Wikimedia Commons)
The first style Israelites used, all dating to the 7th and 6th centuries BCE, widens and flattens the metal of the ring at its terminal ends, which can support a scarab or other bezel. The rings are made of silver or gold and flattened ends are decorated with flowers, palmettes, or other forms of decorative flora.
The bezel may be made of gold, silver, faience (ancient glass) or may be absent entirely (though it's possible the bezel was simply lost to the sands of time). Unfortunately, such rings are rare (and some of them are poorly documented), so a more robust typology is difficult.
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The second form more closely resembles a traditional Egyptian scarab; a round body to the ring with a flattened area at the tips of the terminal ends to support a bezel that may be swiveled on its axis to show off all sides of the piece (this was very important with scarabs, as the bezel was shaped to resemble like a beetle and the flat bottom bore a seal or inscription). The key difference is the material of the scarabs: where the Egyptian scarab is faience or stone, the Israelite 'scaraboid' is made of metal, and the carved scarab is nonexistent.
These are extremely rare and only appear in the record at the end of the Iron Age II (right before the diaspora) and in the Persian period following, so they may have been a relatively short-lived phenomenon - at the same time similar non-metallic, non-ring seals and scarabs are relatively common.
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2.2.2 Large Rings
A form of large ring (that is large enough to fit on a limb rather than a finger) that only appears in Israelite contexts has a catch to secure it in place, using a diamond-shaped end and a U-shaped end with upturned ends. Only four of these have been found, all made of a copper alloy, and all from the latter half of the Iron Age II (8th-7th centuries BCE)
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This wearing of metal bracelets and anklets appears to be a holdover from Canaanite traditions, where we see depictions of goddesses wearing such items. That, their rarity, and idea that the innovation here is functional rather than aesthetic, are why I believe is why Golani doesn't consider this as a uniquely 'Israelite' jewelry form.
It should be noted here that these are not the only large rings found in the Israelite kingdoms, and evidence from graves indicate that both men and women wore single, solid metal arm-bands as jewelry. Women may have also worn multiple, simple, large rings as bangles as depicted in figurines (which to my chagrin told me nothing about hair, but I digress). This may be a local innovation by Southern Canaanites and Israelites, as the Phoenicians to the north are not depicted this way. Bangles were made of many materials; copper alloys, silver, gold, iron, and even shell.
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(More common styles of large rings found in the Israelite kingdoms alongside the rare locking one above)
2.3 Earrings
The styles of earring Israelites used were innovations on earlier Canaanite styles, and were so numerous I'll just be showing archetypal forms and the uniquely Israelite ones, otherwise I might as well rewrite the whole book.
2.3.1 'Lunate Earrings'
These earrings are solid metal (usually silver or copper, but any nice metal works) with a crescent body, a bent and tapered hoop that is narrower than the body, and ends that usually meet at one side.
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(Simple Lunate Earrings, found throughout the Ancient Near East)
The most common Israelite version of this earring, and indicative of the Iron Age II (our time period of interest), widens the lunate and rounds out the whole earring for a more robust, heavy design, often with a small rise in the center of the body
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Towards the end of the Iron Age II, the hoop elongates and decorations such as wire wrapping or soldered hoops and globules appear on the lunate, and are made of exclusively expensive metals such as silver and gold.
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A unique final example comes from the city of Lachish in the Shephelah of Judah from the 8th century BCE (Iron Age II). 'At least a dozen' lunate earrings were found in a corroded mass in a burial cave. at least one of these depicted the head and torso of a woman, but the corrosion of the pieces precluded further analysis.
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2.3.2 Lunates with Fixed Attachments
A more ornamental variation on the lunate where the body has an attachment joined to it. The archetypal form of the attachment is that of a hollow ball, tear, or pear, and is further decorated with wiring or soldered globules. Much more detailed than the basic lunates, these seem to typically be made of nicer metals such as silver and gold.
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These evolved from much simpler tear and globule attachments worn by Canaanites as early as the Middle Bronze Age.
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There is an variant of these solid globule attachments that is common in the 8th - 7th centuries BCE with a ring of globules supporting a center orb, that I think is neat, but is kind of an evolutionary offshoot of the more ornate attachments.
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Towards the end of the Iron Age II, elaborate attachments begin to appear, including clusters, rows, and pyramids (or even rows of pyramids!) of globules, as well as fans and the elaborate hollow examples above.
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It should be noted that these more ornate forms of earrings are rare in Israelite society, the simple lunates and solid globule attatchment lunates were by far the most common forms of ear ornamentation.
Part 3: Conclusion
When looking at the more common pieces of jewelry among Israelites, bone pendants and copper alloy metal rings and earrings in relatively simple forms seem to be the most common items, despite the wealth of the kingdoms attested to by Assyrian records of what they looted during their invasions.
Additionally depictions of Israelites generally show them without jewelry (but that may be due to them being depicted by conquerors who took their jewelry, rather than by Israelites themselves).
So what's with this apparent aesthetic of austerity? According to Amir Golani, the Israelite kingdoms may not have been poor, but the Israelite Identity as separate from Canaanites possibly started as a rejection of the Canaanite City State culture of the Late Bronze Age, and a general distaste of luxury goods may have persisted through the development of the ethnicity to a more spartan aesthetic overall (this is not just seen in jewelry, Israelite pottery is basically earlier Canaanite forms, just undecorated, with some exceptions).
If you made it this far, congratulations! I hope this was as interesting to read as it was to look into, and thank you for your time.
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lemon-natalia · 2 days
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Nona the Ninth Reaction - Review
firstly, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in and encouraged me in doing these liveblogs! this has been such a fun project to work on, and reading these books for the past nine months or so has been a bright spot in what has otherwise been a relatively tough period of my life. i’ve really enjoyed getting to theorise about all of the lore of these books and make horribly ill-advised emotional attachments to inevitably doomed characters
more fun statistics that no one asked for: this liveblog was the longest, at about 20,000 (!!) words. my GtN liveblog was 12000 words for comparison. i have no excuse other than i like to talk
NtN definitely was an interesting diversion from the other two books so far. it wasn’t exactly a breather, since it was still incredibly heartbreaking and horrifying, but it was fun to see a part of the worldbuilding very different from what we’ve seen before. as much as I missed both Harrow and Gideon, i liked that it gave other characters time to shine outside of interacting with them. it was fun to see more of Palamedes, Camilla, and Pyrrha, and how those characters act in a vastly different environment to the Nine Houses
although NtN was essentially telling two different narratives, John chapters vs Nona’s, it still didn’t feel particularly disjointed - i think it was thematically held together by being a bit more grounded than the other books so far, sci-fi and fantasy elements notwithstanding (contemporary issues like climate change and nuclear war, & John’s world being a setting far closer to our own vs Nona’s domestic life & very real problems of living in a warzone)
i also loved getting John’s perspective in the chapters narrated by Harrow, his point of view and recollections were equal parts funny, terrifying, and fascinating. he’s certainly got a … unique perspective on the world. it was just a slow horrifying journey trying to figure out how the world ended, knowing that it was doomed but not exactly how it happened
Muir really has a talent for endearing you to a protagonist, and Nona was no exception, I absolutely loved her, and just, her whole story and how tragic it was physically hurt me. i also wasn’t expecting to get as attached as i was to Hot Sauce and the school gang - i hope we get just even just a mention of what happens to them in AtN
tldr: 11/10. reading this series is like the emotional equivalent of voluntarily getting stabbed in the heart repeatedly. i have absolutely no clue what I’m going to do with my life now that this is over for the meantime, other than go crazy in a locked room with a red string conspiracy board trying to figure out whats going to happen in Alecto the Ninth
speaking of, obviously its not a pressing issue since to my knowledge there isn’t even a release date yet, but i’m not sure if i’ll do a liveblog for Alecto when it comes out? on one hand the most fun bit about liveblogging has been the reaction from everyone who’s already read the books and we’ll all be in the same boat of not knowing what’s going on when Alecto comes out, so i don’t know how much of a point there is? on the other i would very much enjoy doing it anyway, and i’m a perfectionist so it would be nice to have completed all of the books like that. so i guess it depends on how impatient i am to read the whole book when it comes out lol
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works-of-heart · 3 days
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The fandom is so lucky to have you! We appreciate having you here and all that you contribute to it ❤️❤️
1. What brought you into the fandom?
2. What character(s) do you feel the most connected to and why?
3. Out of all of SJM’s books, which one means the most to you and why?
4. Out of all of the SJM couples (fanon, canon, endgame, etc) which one means the most to you and why?
Keep doing you ❤️
Awww!! Thank you so much! This really warms my heart!
1. I got into ACOTAR in 2020, I am not sure why I delayed so long, I was eyeing the series since 2018, and decided to dive straight in. Since the first book I was hooked and immediately picked up the rest of the series! I loved it so much but there wasn't anyone else I knew to talk about it with. So I found reddit and wanted to share my feelings.
I found some parts of the fandom so polarizing, and many of my thoughts and likes were the unpopular ones, so I retreated for a while. I recently stumbled back into Tumblr when I found that there were quite a lot of people here who enjoyed the books as I did and art and fics to share. I wanted to add to that, to be in this space and contribute my own works that I've been dying to share and geek out with others.
I've met so many incredible people in this fandom, many who are super talented and skilled artists and writers, others who contribute in their own ways, and I have been glad to be here ever since!
2. Honestly? Lucien and Elain.
Lucien because he doesn't ever really fit in. He's made a home for himself in spring yes, but then thar fell apart. He lost everything and is with two others who have been his companions and made their own way. He doesn't think a whole lot of himself, he doesn't believe he's needed, as he said "a whole lot of nothing." I resonate with this so much. I've had friends whole dumped me and left me for their own group, I've known what it's like to be invited into gatherings but feel so utterly alone and unwanted, those moments really sat with me when reading his parts of the story, and so I'm excited to see him find himself and grow into truly valuing who he is, realizing he isn't just some seventh son of a lord.
With Elain, the way she's seen by her family is something infeel all too well. She's the people pleaser, the one who tries to balance out the bad with good. She's the one people think is just simple, plain, and 'pleasant'. People think she's uninteresting because she isn't causing waves, that she just enjoys her hobbies and that's it. No one thinks she's capable of more and generally deny her of trying anything else. This really spoke to me on a personal level.
I resonate a lot with Elain who tries to make the best of every situation, but also has a side of her that many have yet to see.
3. I don't think I particularly have one that means the "most" to me persay. At least not yet. I would say the CC books hold a special place in my heart. My husband bought HOEAB on audio book and during a long road trip we listened to it and he was so into it, that it made me smile. He enjoys the series and eagerly bought HOSAB audio book so we took a long drive to listen to it.
4. This will come as no surprise to anyone that it's Elucien for me! The moment Lucien lunged for Elain to try and stop her from being thrown into the cauldron, I was already shipping them, and him whispering with shock "you're my mate" I was sold!
I don't know what it is about them, but the potential they have, the slow burn, the thought of Lucien having given up on true love after Jesminda, only to be given a mate in Elain??! I want it all! I want to see Elain and Lucien having the most tsundere romance, the kind where she's denying her feelings aloud as if it would assure her that she's totally not falling in love with him. The way we can see how their powers will sync, and find home in each other. Their relationship reminds me so much of my own journey with my husband that I can't wait to see it unfold.
I could go on and on as to why I personally love these two together, but at the end of the day, they bring me so much joy and have been the inspiration to so much of my artwork. ❤️
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pepperdee · 2 years
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"Don't read Holocaust literature before bed," my professor warned.
"Welp, this is the only time I have to read before class tomorrow!" I replied, opening the book.
I will now never read Holocaust literature before bed.
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I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.
#fourth wing#ngl my first thought reading the book was 'oh shit she Knew brennan wanted to use his sis as a scribe informant for the rebellion the same#way he maybe used his dad and she was like hell no and put her in the riders quadrant to get her brainwashed that navarre is right instead#so that she doesn't end up dead like spy-scribe dad and his questionable research into ward magic'#but then i thought about it more and decided i wasn't giving papa sorrengail enough credit bcoz he was Up to Something and got got for it#personally if my entire family was lying to me abt my big bro being alive i would lose my shit. that being said i find it incredibly funny#that everyone who knew violet best were like 'she finds out venin are a thing and she WILL do A Stupid out of righteous fury'#not A Stupid like smthn dumb; A Stupid like lead the entire scribe quadrant to a bloody revolution against Navarre Babel-style#I can't wait for this series to finish publishing so I can sit my ass down and plot out a scribe-revolution-leader-Violet AU#it can even be a viden secret arranged marriage. as a treat. because we need to merge the two rebellions of course#where is tiern in all of this? he got stuck babysitting teen andarna who is Super Mad her rider is a scribe. The Audacity! Navarre Will Pay#teenage dragon shenanigans occur. Scribe Violet bonds two dragons in front of her whole year. they're in the underground scribe library.#how did two enormous-ass lizards get in? nobody gives a shit. all scribes are too sleep-deprieved to care about distinguishing between#real life and halucinations. the dragons stay in the library. they get sat on because it's cold underground and fire lizards are Warm#command tries to find out if smthn weird is happening in the scribe quadrant but at this point every single one of them is in the rebellion#they have 600yrs of misinfo to correct. venin to dissect. what dragons? in the library? don't be ridiculous they'd burn the books#anyways i got carried away but library cats!tiern and andarna#kei writes
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asexualbookbird · 3 months
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Immediately forgets everything that happened in June. Uh. I threw a tea party! Finished a knit hat! Did one (1) queer corvid piece! Started playing baldurs gate! Read some good books! SAW SOME SANDHILL CRANES!!!! Found new enrichment in the form of a new walking route! A busy busy month! Didn't read as much as I intended, but I did get to check off five more books on my Reading Books I Own chart so I call that a win.
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The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakranorty ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- WHAT A FUN BOOK! "Adventure" is the perfect word for this. Yes, it's a trilogy with only one book out, but this also works so well on its own, as individual books SHOULD! It's its own little thing. Wrapped up neat and tidy with little threads to pick up in the future. I had so much fun and the audiobook was a DELIGHT, I want to read it again immediately.
The Novice by Taran Matharu ⭐- This has been sitting on my shelf since its release. It moved homes with me. It will not be doing so again. Bland, generic, poorly written. Proof just because you were an internet success, doesn't mean you don't need an editor. Also proof that publishing is about Luck and Connections. I know goodreads ratings mean Nothing, but come on. Why is this one so high. Did people really enjoy it that much? HOW??
Translation State by Ann Leckie ⭐⭐⭐⭐- Okay. Look. This was not my favorite Leckie novel. In fact it very well could by me least favorite Leckie novel. HOWEVER. Even then, it was still fun and enjoyable. I wish it ended differently, but I still loved all the characters and how they interact. I do want to reread this as well, because I remember enjoying Ancillary Justice more the second time around and I wonder if the same will happen here.
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What Moves The Dead by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread! To get ready for What Feasts At Night! Even knowing all the secrets, it's still a perfectly bite sized creepy read. My favorite thing about Kingfishers writing is how even with the darkest subjects she still manages to add humor. And it never seems out of place! It's a great breather for the reader but doesn't detract from the tension. Do not recommend reading this while walking through a field of bunnies.
What Feasts At Night by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I gave What Moves The Dead four stars at my initial read through, so I wonder if this will ALSO change to five stars upon rereading. I had to read the first few chapters twice for them to stick, and ended up switching to the audiobook which was very well done. I really didn't expect another book about Alex Easton, but I'm hooked now to be honest. I mean, stop putting this soldier in Situations, but also. I want to know what other Situations ka gets into. Angus and Miss Potter are adorable.
The library has a few summer reading games with prizes so my reading in the upcoming months will be influenced by those. Someone said there might even be a local bookstore gift package in the mix and I Want That. I do still want to do the Bone Season updated read, if for no other reason than to get rid of those books so I don't have to pack and move them. Other than that, no reading plans. I've read nearly every book that's on the shelf in my bedroom, which, wow, so it's getting harder to choose what to read. I guess that's a good thing! Leaves more room to reread old favorites.
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thelostgirl21 · 1 year
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"...there’s something star-crossed about these two. There is a deep connection there, but the turmoil, war and politics of this world are pretty intent on pulling them away from each other." - Joey Batey (x)
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Yeah...
Just so you know, if you're a guy with a 3 syllable name that begins with "R", and you so happen to experience a strong case of love at first sight for someone that sort of happens to be named "Juliet" or "Julian", you might find yourself facing a few obstacles getting in the way of your relationship.
Just saying!
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leafy-m · 1 month
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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
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similar to the greentext stuff - i was visiting with my neighbors and their grandkids were around, and I said to this eight year old, "Hey, you wanna know something cool? I was playing the game when the Endermen came out." and his eyes went wide, like this kid looked like i told him i landed on the moon. His grandma thought it was really funny, and she said she has no idea what i'm talking about, but her grandbabies do, and that's incredible to her.
oh that's fun lmao, when minecraft & that update's existed for more than your whole life, and yknow being that young and like Next Year fr is this huge time scale away, a couple of years is a quarter of your life thus far and like maybe nigh half of the part of your life you actually have longterm memories for....i was checking out this dev's blog's archives about a:tdd's release in 2010 & in one entry they compared the implicitly Roughly concurrent release of Minecraft and i was like hey whoah. forever primarily being a game i've Heard Of more than any more direct exposure so i had no precise sense of [before minecraft release] [after minecraft release] Year 0 there but it's like for sure back in thee day when minecraft was a new thing, huh
#add in that [i also basically Heard Of mass effect but that's a game series w/a 2010 median which i had Any knowledge abt already]#so i have that reference point for a still like [niche video for When You've Played These Games For Sure] there but then like#if you were ten or even 5 yrs younger at the time you May Well Be much more at sea as your starting point there#(but i mean not that much; i didn't know a ton. reread those wikipedia plot summaries myself)#enderman came out? happy pride#shoutout to this one time i crossed paths w/this kid who was at the time probably like late middle school early high school age#who started talking abt pokemon like Clearly A Big Interest and i'm like my only Direct experience is playing pokemon go but i know Some#stuff b/c i was 5 in '99 when it was first making that huge splash lol. can make Some remarks....but also just Listening Attentively To You#Monologue like uh huh go off....i sure remember like the Sense of a couple yr's sagacity like being 9 i think reading a book abt 6th or 7th#graders (i.e. two or three yrs older) like My God They Must Be So Mature....#and like ofc when skimming passages as an adult it's like omg l'enfants. Both Perspectives Being Accurate respectively lol#my vintage experiences like i've def saved things on the floppy discs of [save icons imagery]. have heard the dialup tones organically....#but also; say; Home Computers That You Didn't Really Need To Know Much Abt Computers To Use were forever an everyday thing for me#having been born mid '90s....vs like in the '80s being nicher but also like. the programs to amateur code not being As Complex either#like [working on cars] of yore vs more modernly lmao....plus ofc in their designs; opening up a desktop Tower vs what? a tablet??#ppl my age who had more substantial Online Access earlier than i did maybe having at least picked up some html; which i did not lol#also didn't have too much Gamer Experience ever; what i did largely desktop then laptop pc wasd+mouse style....#didn't have a smartphone till maybe 5 yrs after they were starting to become more commonplace#vs that again to an 8 yr old of today [commonplacer smartphones] is your whole life basically too. i remember when we flipped those phones.#(i do fr lol. did have one of those first for a good while.)#granpa granpa....mh being fourteen yrs old meaning like the Teen Fans of Today were probably not watching it as it aired lol#whereas i Was that teen fan of those yesteryears. and all my stories for it like fuckin uhhhhhh [crickets chirping] [studio audience laugh]#though You Don't Need The Fans like mh is a long movie ppl can newly discover Whenever that holds up; plus it has bonus lore#mostly what i could even Possibly bring is just the particularly nicher older bonus lore. but like grandpa simpson (the simpsons) for sure#which is to say: humorously irrelevant & perhaps somewhat cantankerous#whilest i'm vaguely aware there may have also been that minecraft resurgence (esp through streaming?) from 2020 on....#but evidently Like Mh something that continually revives / takes on New Fans / Participants#for sure i might well be playing some tf2 myself if i had the technical capability (i would have the poor personal ability i always did lol#real games of yore but it never gets old also. though i know Of Late there was a bot problem / just neglected maintenance? that get fixed?#These Have Been The Tag Tangents. maxed out thirty tags i know that's right
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emmaspolaroid · 2 years
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too much to liiiive too much to die forrrr
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favroitecrime · 10 months
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that was the most depressing thing in the world why is it one of my favorite series of all time now
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hedgehog-moss · 3 months
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I was talking with a friend the other day about how I was fascinated with American school life when I was a teen because it seemed so different from how things are in my country (I knew about US high schools thanks to Hollywood, an accurate and trustworthy source) and we talked about which aspects of US schools felt foreign or strange to us and one thing I brought up was, how American teens only seemed to have like 15min for lunch (I had 1h30 here in France), as evidenced by the cafeteria scenes (no one seemed to eat a proper four-course meal? I definitely never saw a separate cheese course), and I was like, I envied a lot of stuff about US schools but not this
... and I went looking in my old diaries to see if I ever wrote about this, and you know what? I was wrong. I did envy their school lunches which, like almost everything about US schools, felt intriguing and different and cool. The reason middle school-me thought American school lunches were superior to French ones is because, since American teens in TV shows only seemed to get like 4 chicken nuggets and a milk carton for lunch, their lunch tray was very light and they could hold it with one hand under it, the other hand in their pocket or holding their bag strap on their shoulder all casual-like. Sometimes there was no tray, even!
I envied these American teenagers for their lunchtime nonchalance. I would have liked to handle lunch in this cool-cat way but my French lunch tray being loaded with 4 different heavy and breakable plates, I had to hold it carefully with both hands. In my view this was unfair as the hindrance of governmental nutrition guidelines made French students look like uptight nerds, unable to strut around the cafeteria with one hand in our pocket like we didn’t care. Same for the absence of lockers in our schools, we had to carry all our books on our back all day like studious turtles whilst the beautiful 25 year old American teens on my television casually leant against their lockers chatting with friends then strolled around school with just a couple of books tucked under their arm like they were in Dead Poets Society. Thank god there was an ocean between us, imagine a French kid entering a US school cafeteria carrying 3 binders and 5 textbooks in their big rucksack and holding their tray with two hands like a complete loser
Note that these comparisons are quite worthless since I don't know what US school life / food is like in the real world (I imagine it varies a lot!)—I just find it funny to re-read old diaries and discover what was important to kid-me. Discussing these little cultural differences gleaned from US TV series, adult!me is like "yeah I remember being intrigued & envious about a lot of things! Not their school lunches though, they didn't look balanced and nutritious"—meanwhile middle school-me, focused on what mattered, was like, imagine what we could be... imagine being able to hold your lunch tray with 1 hand instead of 2 thus accessing a realm of coolness unfathomable to us in our backward country
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23victoria · 3 months
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Jealousy, Jealousy
f1 grid x fem!reader
wc: 2.1k
warnings: just the guys being jealous, a lil uncomfortable situations ig,
authors note: sorry i took so long with this anon 🥹🤍! also sorry if this is bad for some reason i was struggling 😓 also ignore any typos any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!! if you wanna join my taglist, click HERE!
f1 masterlist
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Lewis
You were at a quaint bookstore in London, browsing through the latest bestsellers. Lewis was busy with a media event, so you decided to take some time to yourself. While searching the shelves, a charming young man approached you, striking up a conversation about the book you were holding.
"So, are you a Ana Huang fan?" he asked, flashing a friendly smile.
You smiled back, appreciating the casual conversation. "Yes, I love her Twisted series! Currently reading book 2."
"That's one of the best books!" he said, inching closer. "I can definitely recommend some more books similar to hers! Maybe if I could get-"
Unbeknownst to you, Lewis had wrapped up his event early and decided to surprise you. He walked into the bookstore just as you were chatting with the stranger. He immediately noticed the man's enthusiastic gestures and your engaged expression. His protective instincts kicked in.
He approached with a confident stride, sliding an arm around your waist. "Hey, babe. Who's your friend?" Lewis's tone was polite, but his eyes were intense.
"Oh, Lewis! This is Tom, we were just talking about The Twisted Series!" you said, trying to ease the tension.
Tom extended his hand, but Lewis's grip on your waist tightened slightly. "Nice to meet you, Tom. I'm Lewis."
Tom picked up on the vibe and quickly made his exit. "Nice to meet you too. I'll let you two enjoy your day."
As Tom walked away, you turned to Lewis, raising an eyebrow. "Is that a hint of jealousy I detect?"
Lewis chuckled, relaxing his hold. "Maybe a little. Can you blame me? He was cleary interested."
You kissed his cheek, reassured by his protectiveness. "You’re cute when you get like this, you know you're the only one for me."
Max 
You were at a trendy bar in Monaco with some friends, celebrating your  movie premiere. Max was racing that weekend, so you hadn't expected to see him. While chatting at the bar, a guy approached you, complimenting your dress.
"That dress looks amazing on you," he said smoothly.
"Thanks," you replied, smiling politely.
Max, who had finished his practice session early, decided to surprise you. He walked into the bar and immediately spotted you talking to the stranger. His mood darkened as he saw the guy leaning in closer to you.
Max wasted no time, walking straight over and placing a possessive hand on your lower back. "Hey, schatje. Who's this?"
You turned, surprised and delighted to see him. "Max! This is Jason. He just complimented me on my dress."
Jason, sensing the tension, took a step back. "Nice to meet you, Max. You look beautiful Y/N, nice talking to you."
Max nodded curtly, watching Jason leave before turning his attention back to you. "What was that about?"
"Just a compliment," you said, smiling. "Why are you jealous?"
Max pulled you into a deep kiss, making sure everyone in the bar knew you were his. "No."
You laughed, hugging him tightly. "Yes you are, but it’s okay, I like when you get jealous. Besides you're the only one I want, Maxie."
Charles 
You were at the university library, studying for an upcoming exam. Charles was away for a race, so you decided to focus on your studies. A fellow classmate approached you, asking if he could join you at your table.
"Sure," you said, moving your books to make space.
The two of you started discussing your coursework, but the conversation soon shifted to more personal topics. Just as the guy was about to ask you out for coffee, Charles walked in. He had flown back earlier than expected to surprise you.
He saw you laughing with the guy and felt a pang of jealousy. Charles walked over, his presence commanding immediate attention. "Hey, love. Mind if I join you?"
You looked up, surprised and thrilled. "Charles! Of course, sit down. This is Peter, we were just studying."
Peter quickly excused himself, sensing the unspoken tension. "I'll see you around, Y/N."
As Peter left, Charles took his seat beside you, his arm draped protectively over your shoulders. "Who was that?"
"Just a classmate," you said, amused by his reaction. "Jealous much?"
Charles sighed, pulling you closer. "Maybe. But I have every right to be, I mean look at you, you're gorgeous. Any person with common sense would want you."
You kissed his cheek, whispering, "You're adorable, Char! You never have to worry about that. Trust me, you're the only one I want."
Oscar 
You were at a cozy café in Melbourne, waiting for your boyfriend. He had a busy schedule, but you managed to find time for a quick coffee date. While waiting, a guy at the next table struck up a conversation.
"Do you come here often?" he asked, clearly interested.
"Not really, just waiting for someone," you replied, hoping he would take the hint. 
He leaned in a bit closer, a confident smile on his face. "Well, maybe while you wait, we could get to know each other better."
Oscar walked in at that moment, his eyes narrowing as he saw the guy leaning in closer to you as he spoke. He walked over, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Hey, baby. Ready to go?"
The guy quickly backed off, realizing he was intruding. "Oh, I'll leave you two to it," he said, standing up and walking away.
Oscar watched him go before turning to you. "Who was that?"
"I don’t know, just some random guy," you said, smiling up at him. "You feeling okay? You look a little red?"
Oscar shakes his head, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Looking at him you say, “You sure it’s not because you got a little jealous?”
Oscar chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Maybe a little. I just can't stand the thought of anyone else getting your attention."
You hugged him tightly, giving him a short kiss. "You just have to get used to having a very attractive girlfriend baby."
“I guess I do.” he says cheekily wrapping his arm around your waist as you guys walk out. 
Carlos 
You were in the pit lane, watching the preparations for the upcoming race. Carlos was busy with the team, so you decided to explore the area. A fellow fan, noticing your VIP pass, struck up a conversation.
"Are you here for the race?" he asked, clearly impressed by your pass.
"Yes, I'm here with my boyfriend," you replied, trying to be polite but distant.
"That's great," he said, undeterred by the mention of your boyfriend. "Is this your first time attending, or are you a regular?"
"Regular." you responded, hoping the conversation would end soon.
"Oh, so your boyfriend's rich, huh?" he remarked with a smirk.
"Uh, sure…yeah," you replied, taken aback and uncomfortable with his comment.
Carlos, having finished his briefing, spotted you talking to the guy. His protective instincts flared up as he saw him getting a bit too friendly.
He walked over, slipping an arm around your waist. "Hey, cariño. Everything okay?"
The guy quickly stepped back, realizing who Carlos was. "Oh, hey, big fan. Just talking about the race."
Carlos nodded curtly, his grip on your waist firm. "Enjoy the race."
As the fan walked away, you turned to Carlos, smiling. "Thanks for the save."
"No problem," he replied, his expression softening.
"You know, I love how protective you are," you said, leaning into him. "And maybe when you get jealous just a little. It's cute."
He chuckled, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Lets go get some food, cariño."
Lando 
You were at a gaming convention, enjoying the various booths and activities. Lando was busy with a panel discussion, so you decided to explore. A fellow gamer struck up a conversation, discussing the latest games.
"Have you tried the new VR game?" he asked, clearly excited.
"Not yet, but it looks amazing," you replied, sharing his enthusiasm.
"Yeah, it's fantastic," he said, his eyes lighting up. "I wouldn't mind showing a beautiful girl like you how to use it sometime. It'd be fun."
Lando, having finished his panel, spotted you chatting with the gamer. Jealousy panned over him as he saw the guy flirting with you. 
He walked over, slipping an arm around your waist. "Hey baby! What are we talking about?"
The gamer quickly felt the energy shift. "Just talking about the new VR game."
Lando nodded, his grip on your waist firm. "Cool."
As the gamer walked away, you turned to Lando, raising an eyebrow. "Really?"
Lando sighed, pulling you closer. "What?! It’s not my fault he was interested in my girlfriend."
You smiled, kissing his cheek. "Key word in that sentence is “my girlfriend”."
Sebastian 
You were attending a charity event, mingling with various guests. Sebastian was busy with the organizers, so you decided to socialize. A charming gentleman approached you, engaging you in a lively conversation about the event.
"It's great to see so many people supporting this cause," he said, smiling.
"Absolutely," you replied, enjoying the conversation.
He leaned in a little closer, his tone becoming more personal. "Especially when someone as beautiful as you is here."
You smile nervously, not expecting his direct approach. "Oh, thank you," you responded, trying to look around and grab Seb’s attention.
Sebastian, having finished his duties, spotted you talking to the guy, looking around. He saw the man getting too friendly and walked over to you.
He walked over, slipping an arm around your waist. "Hey, honey. Would you like a drink? Oh! Who's this?"
The gentleman quickly realized he was intruding. "Just talking about the event."
Sebastian nodded, his grip on your waist firm. "Enjoy the evening then."
As the man walked away, you turned to Sebastian, raising an eyebrow. "I love when you get protective, it’s hot, the jealousy too."
Sebastian smirked, pulling you closer. "Jealous? Me?! Don’t know what you’re talking about."
You smiled, kissing his cheek. "Mhmm, yea, yea. Let’s get my drink."
Jenson 
You were attending an award ceremony, mingling with various celebrities. Jenson was busy with interviews, so you decided to socialize. A charming actor approached you, engaging you in a lively conversation about the a.
"It's great to see so many talented people here," he said, smiling.
"Agreed," you replied, engaging in the conversation."All nominees this year were very talented and impressive."
He nodded thoughtfully, then leaned in a little closer, his gaze lingering on you. "Speaking of impressive, I couldn't help but notice how stunning you look tonight."
You chuckled softly, flattered but unsure how to respond. "Thank you, that's very kind of you."
He grinned charmingly. "So, are you here with anyone special tonight?"
Jenson spotted you talking to the guy. And started to walk towards you. 
He walked over, slipping an arm around your waist. "Hey, baby. Who's this?"
The actor quickly realized you were taken. "Just talking about the event."
Jenson nodded, his grip on your waist firm. "Yea, it’s a nice thing."
As the man walked away, you turned to Jenson, raising an eyebrow. "Nice thing?"
Jenson sighed, pulling you closer so he can squeezing your waist. "Didn’t know what to say without being rude so that's what came to my mind."
You smiled and kissed him gently. "Let’s go check out the catering at this 'nice thing'."
Daniel
You were exploring a quaint art gallery in Paris, enjoying the serene atmosphere and the beauty of the artwork on display. Daniel had left his phone in the car, leaving you to appreciate the art alone. As you admired a painting, a friendly gallery assistant approached, eager to discuss the artist's work.
"This piece here is quite exceptional," he said, gesturing towards a vivid abstract painting. "It really captures the essence of movement and emotion."
"It truly does," you replied, appreciating his enthusiasm. "The color blending and stippling is beautiful."
He smiled warmly. "You have a keen eye for art. Beautiful art for a beautiful girl."
"Oh, thank you," you said, trying to show no interest.
Daniel walked into the gallery, He approached, slipping an arm around your waist. "Hey, baby. Finding any new favorites?"
The gallery assistant reacted quickly to Daniel's presence and backed away. "Just discussing the beautiful artwork," he explained.
Daniel nodded casually. "Thanks for your insights, but we're good here."
As the gallery assistant politely excused himself, you turned to Daniel with a playful smirk. "Oh, someoness jealouss?"
Daniel chuckled softly, pulling you closer. "No, no. Protective, yes. Jealous, could never be me."
You smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Mhm hm, if you say so."
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© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own
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As Brave As You Are (Newt x Reader) - A Maze Runner Story
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As Brave As You Are (Newt x Reader) Reader Insert: she/her pronouns Word Count: 12,051 Warnings: death, bloody wounds, fighting, mental and physical torture, guns, suicidal thoughts and actions Spoilers: no spoilers because the books and films came out ages ago
After helping Newt recover from his ankle injury, Y/N and Newt formed an unbreakable bond that always had them looking out for each other. When they escaped the Maze, then navigated the Scorch, they always had each other’s back. It isn’t until Y/N is captured alongside Minho by WCKD and Newt contracts the Flare that he realises how he truly feels about Y/N.
Problem is, will he rescue her in time to tell her?
Note: I'm back in my dystopian future era thanks to the new Hunger Games film so of course I had to write for my original YA crush. This piece is based on the movie series mainly. Don't get mad at me, I love the books more, but I can appreciate the storylines that came out of the path they took with the films. And if there is one thing the TMR fandom can agree on, it is that the film cast was the best cast ever for the series. So enjoy - not sorry that it's horrendously long, Newt deserves it xx
‘Medjack! Medjack, now!’
Y/N recognised it was Minho was calling for help. Clint and Jeff ran out of the med hut to see what all the commotion was. It wasn’t long before they were hurrying back inside, carrying Newt of all people between them, Minho and Alby in tow.
‘Clear the table,’ Clint ordered, and Y/N quickly followed through, practically throwing off containers, bowls and medical instruments to get Newt on there as quick as possible. Once Newt was up, Y/N finally noticed the unnatural twist in his ankle and it almost sent Frypan’s sloppy sweet potato soup right back up. 
She was still pretty new to her job as a Medjack, being the greenie and all. She was the only girl in the Glade of the current twelve residents, so she was intimidated at first as to what role she could play in the place. Medjack seemed the most suitable, and she seemed to have a knack for it, having stitched up some eyebrows and cleaned up knee scrapes with ease and precision. 
But even though she’d seen blood, dealt with displaced bones and joints, she still got queasy doing her job. It didn’t help that Newt was hissing through clenched teeth from the intense pain, an occasional sob passing through.
‘What happened?’ Y/N asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Minho said. ‘We split up for only five minutes. I thought we could cover more ground that way. And we’ve run that part of the Maze like a hundred times already. I thought we’d be fine…’
Clint held Newt down as Jeff and Y/N took a look at Newt’s ankle. Jeff only pressed gently with his fingers around the bone, but Newt’s responding howls confirmed the severity of the injury.
‘The bone is completely shattered,’ Jeff said grimly. ‘We’re going to need to reset his foot first though. Y/N?’
‘On it.’ She rushed to a shelf that held bandages, then to a cupboard with flat boards about shin length. She grabbed two of those before heading back to the table.
‘You’re going to have to hold him down,’ Y/N directed at Alby and Minho, gesturing to follow Clint’s efforts. Then she turned to Newt, whose face was slicked with tears and sweat as he continued to writhe in pain. ‘Newt. Newt, can you open your eyes for me? I need you to focus on me.’
To his credit, Newt opened his eyes and he didn’t look away from her. 
‘Good. Good, Newt,’ she said. ‘Now, we have to realign your foot. It’s going to hurt a lot. We’ll go on three, okay?’
In the short time Y/N had known Newt – which arguably was no time at all, as he ran every day and she was in the Medjack hut all day. They didn’t interact unless he or another runner got hurt, or at dinner if only to say hello. Even so, she had come to know he liked it plain and straight, no bullshit. So, despite his pain, he took two deep, calming breaths and gave her a nod to say he was ready for what they had to do.
Y/N nodded back, then looked to the others, who had their hands braced on all Newt’s limbs. ‘Ready?’ she asked, to which they nodded in reply. Y/N gently held Newt’s ankle, eliciting a quiet whimper from the boy. ‘Okay, on three. One, two…’ She cut herself off as she slammed her hands either side the ankle bone, causing a loud cracking sound as the ankle snapped back into place. 
Newt’s wail of pain must’ve been heard from across the whole Glade it was so loud. He writhed and pulled to sit up, but the boys held him down as Y/N and Jeff bandaged the two splints either side of Newt’s ankle. Jeff then dabbed a small dose of chloroform in a cloth and pressed it to Newt’s nose. Soon enough, the boy was unconscious, finally pain-free.
‘You guys go have dinner,’ Y/N said to Clint and Jeff a little while later as they were cleaning up the hut. Alby and Minho had left soon after Newt fell asleep, but it was almost dinner time now. ‘I’ll stay with Newt tonight.’
‘You sure?’ Clint asked. ‘We can do shifts if you’d prefer.’
Y/N shook her head. ‘I insist. You guys rest up. I can do this. Consider this my final test to becoming a fully-fledged Medjack.’
Jeff chuckled. ‘You have much more to learn, Greenie, but suit yourself.’
‘We’ll bring you back some food, Y/N,’ Clint said as he and Jeff left the hut, leaving Y/N to idly clean up.
Newt woke up from a dull throbbing in his ankle, which turned into a harsh pain, causing him to sit up in alarm. 
‘Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,’ a voice gently said as equally gentle hands pushed him back down.
‘My ankle,’ he said, voice hoarse and dry. ‘It hurts…’
The face of the voice finally came into view: it was the Greenie. Y/N offered him a small smile as he finally recognised her. In one hand, she held a needle with clear serum. Her other she offered to his leg. ‘May I? It’ll help, I promise.’
He hesitated for a moment, but the intense pain in his ankle broke his composure as he eagerly nodded. The painkiller worked immediately, and Newt sighed with relief as the throbbing eased significantly.
’There,’ Y/N said, wiping the needle. ’That should help for a bit. Sadly, we don’t have much left for me to give you more than once a day, but I’m hoping you won’t need it beyond the end of the month.’
Confusion clouded Newt’s mind as he tried to process her words. ‘What… What happened?’ But he answered his own question as images of the Maze flashed through his mind, and he remembered it all. How he bid farewell to Minho. How he climbed as high as he could along the Maze walls. How easy it was to let go. 
Then the pain fully encompassed him, and then it was just a blur. How Minho found him. How Clint and Jeff laid him on the table he realised he was still on. How angry and embarrassed he felt having his friends see him broken and miserable. 
Newt managed to pull himself into a sitting position, propping a pillow behind him to cushion the hut wall. ‘How bad is it?’ he asked glumly, eyes unable to lift from his injury.
He couldn’t be bothered with pleasantries. He was too tired, and, frankly, saw no point in keeping up appearances anymore. 
To her credit, Y/N seemed to pick up on his mood, saying, ‘It will heal to a point you’ll be able to walk again. But it won’t ever heal properly.’
‘You mean I’ll have a limp?’
‘Potentially.’
’So I can’t be a Runner anymore?’ Y/N didn’t reply, finally drawing Newt’s attention away from the source of his pain and to her. 
Newt had only interacted with Y/N on a few occasions. Mainly at mealtimes or the odd occasion he passed her by on the way back from a run, only talking as much as greeting and farewelling one another. As the only girl so far, of course he found her intriguing, but he never had time nor a reason to get to know her.
And while he’d come to think of her as the quiet and gentle Medjack in comparison to Clint and Jeff, he didn’t see an ounce of pity on her face as she looked at him. Only quiet contemplation, as if there could be any other answer but no to his question.
‘I guess that’s up to you and Alby,’ she finally said. ‘I mean, I know what I should say is no. I’m sure Clint and Jeff will say no. But it’ll more so come down to if you want to go back in or not.’ Her eyes flickered to his ankle, sadness glazing her eyes briefly before returning to him. ‘But I think I can take a guess as to what your answer will be.’
Newt’s gut twisted with guilt and shame that she’d figured it out, and his face flushed with embarrassment and anger. ‘So, you going to tell everyone?’ he asked, words thick  with hopelessness. ‘I mean, that’s your job, right? Diagnose me, then tell Alby, then the whole glade how pathetic I am?’
Y/N shook her head. ‘I think you give me too much credit. I’m not an actual doctor, you know,’ she said, coming to stand beside him. She inspected his ankle for a moment, then turned her gaze to him, and it shocked him to see such intensity in her eyes. It was as if suddenly he was the most interesting person in the world.
‘I can say it was a running accident,’ she finally concluded. ‘You can tell your truth when you’re ready. It’s not my place to take away hope when the others are so full of it right now. That includes me.’
He stared, stunned, as she packed up the last of her things by a spare medical cot at the other end of the hut. It wasn’t until she let out a loud yawn that Newt noticed it was dark outside. The silence of the Glade told him everyone else had gone to bed so it was late. Or early, he couldn’t really tell.
Y/N fluffed a sad excuse of a pillow and put it on the cot. ‘Now that I know you’re alive, are you going to be okay if I get a few minutes shut eye? I can stay up if you’d like.’
Now that the initial shock and embarrassment of the day’s events had subsided, Newt realised how exhausted he was still. ‘No, that’s okay,’ he said. ‘I think I should rest a bit more anyway.’
Y/N nodded and swung her legs up to lie down fully. Newt went to slide himself and his pillow back down to do the same when Y/N spoke again.
‘And Newt?’ she said, her voice soft and almost hesitant.
‘Yeah?’ he called back.
She was silent for so long Newt thought she’d gone to sleep. But then she spoke. ‘For the record, I don’t think you’re pathetic. For wanting it all to end, that is. I actually think what you did was really brave. You might be scared and maybe out of hope, but at least you did something about it. The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you.’
Newt’s breath caught in his chest as it swelled with a mix of emotions. Brave? What he did was the act of a coward. Tears streamed silently down his face, both from a deep shame, but also a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.
The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you…
Newt had lost all hope after a year of searching for a way out and finding nothing. But she didn’t know that, and neither will the next Greenie, or the Greenie after that. Even some of the boys already in the Glade didn’t know that. That’s why they waited every day for the runners – for him – to come back with news, with a shred of hope that they’d get out of there soon. 
Newt twisted himself so he could see Y/N, who was rolled away from him, her body rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. Even if he thought it would all be hopeless in the end, some truly believed they would get out of here.
And maybe that was something worth fighting for.
~
Two years on and Newt and Y/N had managed to forge something akin to a friendship. 
Y/N had kept her word and said Newt had had a running accident, and he’d agreed with her for the sake of his worried friends. Y/N had also been right about his ankle; it healed to point where he could walk and do a decent jog with a limp. But he would never run again. 
He was transferred to work as a Track-Hoe in the gardens with Zart. But it wasn’t all bad. As more boys arrived – never any girls much to their confusion – Newt developed a knack for leading others, for diffusing hard situations, and for wrangling the boys into line. Because of that, he was promoted to Alby’s second-in-command, which gave him more meaningful work to do than just the gardens – stuff that might actually get him and the other Gladers out of the bloody Maze. 
It also meant he had more time to talk to Y/N. He would make sure to drop by once a day (and not just at mealtimes) to check in on her. For a time, he convinced himself he did that because it was his job as second-in-command to keep up group morale, and he would visit everyone in the Glade. Eventually, however, he realised it was because he genuinely enjoyed her company.
Since that night, Y/N had come out of her shell more. Still a little shy and apprehensive at times, but she would openly joke and play along with the boys’ antics. She was more confident in her work as a Medjack too, not afraid to boss Clint and Jeff around if she needed something from them.
Newt’s visits became longer, as they talked about any and all things. Aside from Alby and Minho, Newt considered Y/N one of his closest friends. And she must’ve felt the same – or at least in a similar fashion – as she entertained his thoughts about life beyond the Maze, and the rants he would go on thanks to whichever stupid shank put the fertiliser in the wrong place.
It was a friendship built on mutual respect and genuine care for one another, something that helped Newt convince Y/N to come with him and the others when they finally decided to leave the Maze. But he couldn’t help but feel a deep dread and guilt as he waited behind Thomas, knowing that Grievers were right around the corner.
While the others caught up, Newt turned to Y/N – who’d been helping him through the Maze with his limp – and offered her a spare spear he’d been carrying.
Her eyes widened at his offering. ‘I can’t take that. I can’t fight.’
‘Well, you can’t just go in there without something to protect yourself,’ he said, this time forcibly handing the spear over. Y/N clutched the spear awkwardly, and Newt saw the uncertainty in her eyes, in her trembling hands.
Newt felt bad for making her hold such a violent weapon. All her hands had ever done were help people, save them at times. Now he was asking her to kill. It was for the greater good they both knew, but to kill, nonetheless.
Newt placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and locked eyes with her. ‘Hey,’ he said softly, ‘you stay with me the whole time, do you understand? I promise you won’t have to use that unless absolute necessary.’
Y/N bit her lip to stop it trembling too, but she nodded, steeling herself in preparation for the fight ahead. Newt reciprocated the action and gave her shoulder a final squeeze before turning to face Thomas as he explained the plan.
They fought the Grievers, taking down a few while some of them took down Gladers. The Gladers were backed against the door that Teresa and Chuck were trying to open with a code. Minho shouted numbers at them as he, Newt, and the others fended off one last Griever.
Before he could finish, Minho was caught by a Griever, and Clint ran out to save him. But the Griever’s tail caught him, sending him over the edge of the walkway they fought on with one flick.
‘Clint!’
Before Newt could stop her, Y/N rushed out from behind him, spear drawn back and flying at the Griever in seconds. Not being a fighter to begin with, let alone a good one, the spear bounced off its metal leg without much effect. It did, however, alert the Griever to her presence, turning all its attention to her. Minho leapt to his feet, finally free, and ran back to the group. ‘Y/N!’ he cried as he ran. ‘Run!’
Y/N seemed to finally realise her situation, looking up at the Griever frozen with fear. The horrible creature raised its claw to end her, but Newt moved faster. 
He ran as fast as he could, limp be damned, past Y/N and threw his spear at the Griever’s head. It landed true, puncturing one of the creature’s bulbous eyes, drawing a painful screech from it. Newt didn’t wait to see what it would do next, as he grabbed one of Y/N’s arms and Minho grabbed the other and ran back to the group, practically throwing her behind the front line and against the door. 
Teresa finally got the door open and the Gladers tumbled in, Thomas throwing one last spear down the Griever’s throat as the doors closed. 
Lights flickered on to show they were in some empty room with a door on the wall behind them leading to a corridor.
Thomas looked at the group, taking heavy breaths. ‘Everyone okay?’
‘What’s left of us, that is,’ Winston said, his tone sad and regretful. 
As Newt eyed the group, he noted how many they’d lost, how little their group seemed all of a sudden. 
Minho stepped ahead with Thomas, pointing towards the door. ‘Well? It’s not going to open itself.’
As Minho and Thomas led the group to the exit, Newt turned to Y/N, whose eyes had a distant look glazed over them. ‘What were you thinking?’ he asked, bringing her attention to him. ‘I told you to stay behind me. You could’ve been killed.’
‘I-I know. I’m sorry,’ she stuttered out, tears teetering in her E/C eyes. ‘I just… Clint… It all happened so fast, and I was just kind of moving before I knew what I was doing.’ She looked down at her hands then, and Newt noticed a slight tremble to them. ‘I thought I could help, but I was too slow. And I put you guys in danger too. I’m just… I’m sorry.’
Newt’s guilt came back full force then. He placed a gentle hand over her trembling one, grasping her fingers to stop their shaking. When she looked up at him confused, he just said, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you into thinking you had to fight. You won’t ever hold a weapon like that again. I promise.’
Y/N opened her mouth to object no doubt, but Newt cut her off. ‘But you have to promise me something back. Promise me that you’ll let us protect you. You can help by keeping us alive, just like you always have. But you’ve got to listen to me, you got it?’
He used his authoritative voice this time, and it seemed to work as Y/N calmed down, her unshed tears now gone.
‘Okay,’ she said, quiet but strong. ‘I promise.’
Newt nodded. ‘Good that.’ He turned to see the others leaving through the door then turned back to Y/N. ’Do you think we’d be lucky enough not to face anything else beyond those doors.’
‘I think we should consider ourselves lucky for getting this far.’ To her credit, Y/N managed a small smile as she looked up at him. ‘But why should our luck run out now?’
There it was again; the glimmer of hope Newt had felt from her since the night he injured his ankle. Newt couldn’t deny that they’d made it this far – by design or by luck, they’d made it. 
And who was he to deny that things might be on the look up for them now?
Together, Y/N and Newt followed the rest of the Gladers to meet their makers.
~
‘I never thought I’d say this… but I miss the Glade.’
The group around the fire grew silent at the implication Frypan’s words had, the memories they conjured up. Y/N couldn’t help but agree as she looked into the dark sky above her, peaking from behind the crumbling pillars they took refuge under. 
The sky was always so clear back in the Glade, she recalled silently. But, just like their current situation, the sky was now obscured. 
The people who rescued them from the Maze were actually WCKD – the people who’d put them in the Maze in the first place. The past twelve hours had seen herself, Newt, Thomas, Minho, Frypan, Winston, and a boy named Aris find Teresa, break out of the facility, and enter the deadly Scorch. In their search for supplies, they’d been attacked by crazed, infected people, driving the group to hide where they were.
The Maze was dangerous, but it was familiar and the only home Y/N recalled ever having. Out in the Scorch, safety wasn’t guaranteed. 
She looked to Winston, who laid back, his shirt pulled up to expose the bloody bandage she’d wrapped his torso in. Y/N tried not to think about the infected scratch marks underneath, and more specifically what gave them to him. The Grievers were one thing, but the things that attacked them? They used to be people.
Not wanting to sit in her thoughts anymore, Y/N stood up, brushed off her pants, and grabbed knife from their pile of weapons they’d found in the abandoned mall. ‘I’ll take first watch.’ 
She didn’t wait to hear if anyone objected, already walking around the stone that covered them so she was on top. To her relief, the others let her go without argument, putting out the fire and quickly settling down to sleep.
After half an hour, Y/N decided to get up and patrol around the area, knife tightly gripped in her hand and her footsteps quiet despite the sand. 
There was so much of it,  the sand. The lady in white – Doctor Ava Paige – had said in her video that the whole world was just desert now. The thought made Y/N yearn for the Glade even more. For the grass, and the woods, and the bonfires they used to have, and the games they played. The boys – Clint, Jeff, Alby, Gally, Chuck. 
Y/N wasn’t a hateful person, but she clutched the knife tighter at the thought of all the loss they’d all suffered at the hands of WCKD. 
It’s why she didn’t hesitate to follow Newt when he’d found her in her room – for some reason, she hadn’t been allowed to stay with the other girls from the other mazes just yet. It’s why they were now braving the Scorch searching for people that Thomas didn’t know even existed. They wanted a better life out from under WCKD’s thumb.
The crunch of sand had her whirling around, awkwardly poising the knife as if to attack, but she relaxed at the familiar person standing there.
Newt raised his hands in mock surrender. ‘Whoa there,’ he said, the quirk of a smile on his lips telling her he was just joking. ‘You could do some real damage if you’re not careful.’
Y/N blew out in relief, the knife dropping to her side again. ‘Thanks, but we both know that’s not the case, Newt.’
Newt shoved his hands in his jacket pocket, shrugging his shoulders as he did. ‘I don’t know, I’ve seen you with a scalpel. Absolutely terrifyingly precise with that thing.’
Y/N chuckled softly, appreciative of the distraction. But her smile dropped as she looked out into the dark cityscape. The moon hid behind clouds so Y/N couldn’t make out anything. ‘Is it pathetic that I’m scared to see what the world has become?’ she asked, not daring to raise her voice above a soft mumble.
Newt stepped up beside her, his body radiating the last remnants of heat from the fire and it warmed her slightly. ’Someone once told me that I was brave for facing my fear,’ he said after some quiet contemplation. 
Y/N looked up at him confused, but he looked down at her with a knowing, smug smile. Much to her chagrin, she couldn’t help but chuckle and shake her head at him. ‘I don’t recall saying that specifically. But if that’s how you saw it, who am I to tell you that wasn’t what I meant?’
Newt hummed in agreement looking back out at the dark expanse, contemplation scrunching his brows together. ‘I’ll be honest with you, I’m scared too.’
That surprised Y/N. Newt, second-in-command, casual, leader Newt was scared? ‘You are?’
Newt nodded. ‘I’m scared that we’ve made a mistake. That Thomas is wrong and there aren’t any mountain people.’ He turned back to Y/N, the most serious she’d ever seen him. ‘I’m scared we’re going to lose more of us, and then what was our escape for? But… it’s not my place to take away hope when the others are so full of it. Including myself.’ Finally, Newt’s smile returned, and it warmed that cold pit of despair Y/N had been falling into ever since they left the WCKD facility. ‘Or, at least, I think that’s what someone very wise once told me.’
Y/N stared at him, awestruck. Hopeful. Newt was hopeful again. And she didn’t want to read into it, but she thought the knowing smile he was giving her told her that she had something to do with it. The thought alone strengthened her resolve, and she looked down at the knife in her hands, less afraid of it all of a sudden.
Y/N held it out to Newt. ’Teach me.’
He raised an eyebrow in a silent question. ‘What?’
’Teach me. How to fight,’ Y/N explained, eyes unwavering from his. 
Concern flashed across Newt’s face for a brief moment. ‘Y/N, I told you, you don’t have to fight if you don’t want to.’
‘If there is one thing I’ve come to know about WCKD is that it doesn’t actually matter what I want anymore. What any of us want,’ Y/N said, feeling the most certain she’s felt in a long time. ‘The one thing we have on WCKD is that we are defiant. We escaped, and are taking away the one thing they want most of all: a chance to find a cure. So, if we’re going to have any hopes of making it to the mountains alive, I’m going to have to know how to fight. So please – teach me.’
Newt contemplated her for a moment, and Y/N just prayed he wouldn’t say no. Or even worse, laugh. Instead of doing either, he took the knife from Y/N’s hand, his fingers brushing across her palm as he did. 
‘All right,’ he said, moving his feet apart to get into a fighting stance. ‘First of all, you’ve got to have a wide-ish stance, and stay light on your toes so you can control when you back away from your opponent.’ 
He demonstrated the movement by quickly shuffling away, always keeping his feet a certain distance apart and the knife gripped tight by his hip. ‘…and when you go into attack.’ He moved so fast Y/N didn’t see his footwork, her eyes locked on his as they bored into hers, knife poised at her neck as if he’d strike.
He stepped away and gave her the knife back. ‘You think you can do that?’
Y/N nodded and took the knife, and for the next hour Newt taught Y/N basic blocks and manoeuvres that he’d picked up from Thomas and Minho and just from basic instinct. Just like she’d been with her Medjack skills, Y/N was a quick study, performing move after move when Newt asked her to. 
She impressed herself. For a natural pacifist, she wielded the knife quite fluently.
They decided to finish the session on a quick sparring match. Newt took a swipe at Y/N, and she stepped back just like Newt had taught her. She then rushed in for an attack, to which Newt threw up his own knife in time to block. Y/N anticipated the pushback and twisted out of Newt’s way as he stumbled slightly forward. While he was disorientated, Y/N gripped his wrist that controlled his knife and pointed her own into his back. 
‘Looks like I win,’ she said, breathless but proud.
Y/N didn’t like the carefree scoff he gave her, followed by, ‘Are you sure?’
She doubted herself for a moment, loosening her grip enough for him to twist out of her reach, knock her knife away and bend to sweep her legs out from underneath her. Y/N landed hard, groaning at the pain in her butt as Newt looked down at her and laughed. 
‘I’m glad you find my pain amusing, Newt,’ she grumbled, rubbing her sore behind.
Newt laughed for a moment longer then calmed down. But his radiant smile remained on his face, brightening the darkness surrounding them. ‘I’m sorry, love,’ he said between remaining chuckles. To his credit, he held out his hand in an offer to help her up. ’But the surprise on your face was priceless.’
Y/N contemplated his hand for a moment, whether she should just push it away or take it. Instead, an idea came to mind, and she gripped his hand tightly then pulled him to the ground with her. He landed on his stomach beside her, getting a face full of sand.
Y/N let out a loud laugh before quickly covering her mouth to stifle the relentless laughter that wished to burst from her. 
Newt spat and coughed out sand as he made to sit up. ‘Well,’ he started, spitting out more sand as he looked up at Y/N, ‘I should’ve seen that coming.’
That just made Y/N laugh even harder, using now both hands to quieten the giggles. Goodness, when was the last time she’d laughed this freely? When was the last time she’d felt such joy? After everything they’d been through, Y/N was worried she’d forgotten what was like to laugh.
When she’d calmed down, she looked down to see Newt propped up on his arms looking up at her with an odd expression on his face. Like he was in awe, maybe. Whatever it was, it made Y/N acknowledge how handsome Newt had become. His baby features had faded since she’d first met him, being replaced by a lean figure and a toned jawline from working in the gardens every day for two years. And with his big brown eyes, tousled blond hair and funny accent, Y/N wondered how he had changed so much without her realising it. How she hadn’t realised he’d grown up.
The intensity with which he looked at her brought a heated blush to her face, and so she turned away into the cool night breeze, willing the blush to cool down. Newt shuffled to sit up next to her. They didn’t speak for a minute, until Newt suddenly stood up. 
‘Well, um,’ he started, and for the first time since Y/N had known him, he sounded uncertain about what to say. ‘I better let you continue with your shift. At least you know how to defend yourself now.’
Y/N hastily stood up as well, making sure there was at least a step between them. ‘Yes!’ she said. ‘Thank you for that. I’ll be sure to practice.’
‘Good that.’ 
They looked at each other for a moment, and even though Newt said he was leaving, he made no move to leave. Maybe he doesn’t want to, she thought, and the mere possibility of that being true warmed her heart.
But he took a step away, gave her a shy smile and a small wave farewell. ‘Goodnight, Y/N.’
‘Goodnight Newt,’ she said, those two words hanging in the air long after he’d left.
As she finally woke Frypan up for his shift, she clung to the knife and went through all the manoeuvres Newt had taught her until she fell asleep. 
Newt was unable to sleep until Y/N woke Frypan up to take the next watch shift, and laid down to sleep herself. Newt opened his eyes to see Y/N laying across the pit they’d dug out for the fire. She faced him on her side, and Newt noticed with curiosity that she held the knife she’d practiced with close to her chest. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, and paired with her heavy breathing, Newt figured she was completely asleep. 
An odd sensation fluttered in his chest and stomach as Newt considered Y/N’s sleeping face. It was the same feeling that had fizzled in his chest when he’d looked up at her as she laughed. He couldn’t remember the last time any of them had laughed as freely as she had. 
And he couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she looked doing so – hiding her bright smile behind trembling hands, eyes narrowed but sparkling with joy. 
All because of him.
He rolled onto his back then, not wanting to give the thought anymore weight. There’s no point getting your hopes up, he reminded himself. But like a moth drawn to flame, Newt couldn’t help but tilt his head to gaze upon her peacefully sleeping. An ache carved itself deep in his heart. How had he not realised her growing up, changing? Being the only girl for a long time, of course he and the others found her pretty. But now that he looked at her – really looked at her, and wasn’t concerned with his life for just a split second – he realised just how beautiful she was. 
It was in her features, but also in her determination to be better for the group. It both hurt and impressed him when she asked for his help. He promised her she would never have to fight again, but things have changed drastically since the Maze.
It was in her ability to still find the joy in things, to still be able to laugh despite their situation.
It was how she believed in Thomas, in Aris, in the mountain people, even if she was scared. 
‘The rest of us can only wish to be as brave as you,’ he whispered into the night, a silent promise that he’d tell her that sometime. 
And with the fluttering in his chest finally easing into a calm warmth, he finally fell asleep.
~
Everything exploded with chaos as Y/N, Newt, Thomas, and Minho navigated their way through the Right Arm camp as guns fired and explosions went off. 
Teresa had betrayed them. Y/N couldn’t believe it when it was revealed in front of everyone, and she still couldn’t believe it as Minho pushed her head down, sheltering her from another explosion. Teresa truly believed WCKD could find a cure, but still at the expanse of Y/N and her friends’ pain. And just when Thomas was going to blow them all sky high, Jorge and Brenda had come in like a saving grace, and that’s when all hell broke loose.
‘This way!’ Thomas yelled over the din, beckoning them behind a weapons container.
However, Minho stopped suddenly and picked up a launcher. Keep going!’ Minho called over his shoulder as he shot at WCKD soldiers around him. ‘I’m right behind you!’
Thomas and Newt reached the container, but Y/N stopped and turned at the sound of a painful cry. ‘Minho!’ she cried as her friend fell, his body convulsing from a launcher shot. 
‘Y/N, no!’ Newt called after her, but she was already running back to Minho, grabbing at his jacket to drag him to safety. 
But Y/N was not strong like the boys, and certainly not strong enough to move Minho in any hurry. She looked up just in time to see a launcher fire at her, then her body felt like it was on fire. 
She was sure she was screaming, but she couldn’t hear anything as the electricity struck every nerve with a vicious bite. After what felt like an eternity of pain, she was granted a moment of peace as her vision went white, then in a flash was swamped by darkness.
Newt’s heart stopped when he saw Y/N shot. She convulsed as Minho had, then collapsed beside their friend unconscious. The second Y/N hit the ground, Newt found his voice again, feelings of anger and desperation clawing their way through every vein in him.
‘Y/N, no!’ His cry came out broken as he made to run to her, but a strong hand gripped the back of his jacket and pulled him back. 
‘No, boys,’ Vince shouted over the din, holding both Newt and Thomas back. 
‘Let me go!’ Newt protested, struggling against Vince, eyes darting between him and Y/N. ‘I need to help her! Y/N!’
But WCKD soldiers were already picking up Y/N and Minho’s unconscious bodies, dragging their feet through the red dirt and into a berg.
‘I’m sorry, son,’ Vince said, and Newt thought he sounded genuine. But that didn’t stop icy terror gripping tight on his heart as the doors began to close on Y/N, Minho, and other immunes from the Right Arm.
Thomas called for Minho, and Newt called for Y/N, but neither could do anything to help their friends as they were flown away. Back in WCKD’s clutches once again.
When the sun rose, the remaining survivors came out of hiding and began scrounging up supplies. They were moving on, Vince claiming there was nothing they could do but keep going with who and what they had left.
Newt couldn’t accept that, and neither could Thomas apparently, as he claimed he was going after Minho, Y/N and the others. Without hesitation or any further explanation, Newt was the first to sign up and join him.
And so, they went on a quest to rescuing Minho, Y/N, and as many immunes as possible. The train hijack was a huge success with immune numbers, but no Minho and no Y/N. Even so, Newt refused to accept that he’d never see either of them again. Even when they almost got killed by cranks. Even when he, Thomas, Brenda, Frypan, and Jorge were almost blown up by turret guns.
Even when he found out he was infected with the Flare.
He could feel it, his mind slowly slipping away as the Flare ate away at his sanity. He was usually level-headed and rational – it’s part of the reason he became second-in-command in the first place. Guilt and shame ate away at him as he sat on the rooftop of their hideout in the outskirts of the Last City, explaining to Thomas why he just bit his head off about being in love with Teresa.
Not that I’m one to talk, he thought as he rolled down as his sleeve, silence wrapping around him and Thomas comfortably. Newt could feel Thomas didn’t know what to say, and Newt didn’t like long silences so he broke it.
‘The crazy thing, though is…’ Newt started, a soft but sad scoff escaping him, ‘I’m not scared of dying. I used to be, back in the Maze. Because it felt like my friends were dying for no reason, without purpose. But…’ Newt looked over his shoulder, past Thomas, and to the peaking spires of the Last City. To where Y/N was being held somewhere.
‘I have something to die for now,’ Newt said, eyes never wavering from the spires.
Thomas came to sit beside Newt, a sad realisation drawing his brows and lips down. ‘You’re not just talking about Minho, are you?’ he asked.
It was how gentle and matter-of-fact Thomas spoke that had Newt’s chest tightening with fear and an immense pressure he’d been scared, until now, to acknowledge. His throat threatened to close on him as he spoke, rendering his words tight and uncontrolled. ‘I failed to protect her, Tommy,’ he managed to get out. ‘I promised I’d always protect her, and I didn’t.’ 
It surprised Newt how simultaneously hard and easy it was to speak about his feelings, and now that he had started, the words just flowed. 
’She’s just always been there, so I never saw it coming,’ Newt continued, a melancholic smile adorning his lips as he recalls the day he met you, how you helped him with his ankle. How, since then, you’ve always been by his side, growing with him, changing with him, supporting him and everyone else around you. 
’Saw what?’ Thomas asked.
‘I never saw that I could have a future after the Maze, after all of this,’ Newt explained. ‘That I would want a future… with Y/N.’ And with that, his tears finally spilled over, the pressure in his chest bursting into sobs that wracked his whole body. Newt was vaguely aware that Thomas was now holding him, and so he wrapped his arms tight around his friend, around his brother.
‘I love her, Tommy,’ Newt whispered over Thomas’ shoulder, his words obscured somewhat by his tears and holding back sobs. ‘And I’m scared I’ll never be able to tell her before I go.’
‘Hey,’ Thomas said, pushing Newt to arm’s length. He kept one hand on Newt’s shoulder and used his other to grip Newt’s neck, forcing their eyes to lock. ‘We’re going to find her – and Minho, and the other immunes. We’re going to get you that serum that helps with the Flare – as much of it as possible – and you’re going to tell her. You’re not dying. No one is dying. You hear me?’
No one could replace Alby, but the way Thomas was taking control of the situation reminded Newt of his old friend. How kind yet stern he could be. How hopeful yet pragmatic he was. It was something familiar that Newt was thankful for. He quickly calmed down, wiped away his tears and nodded at Thomas.
‘Good that,’ Thomas said, a small proud smile gracing his lips at his use of Newt’s common phrase. 
Newt couldn’t help a chuckle as well. ‘Good that, indeed,’ he agreed, and followed Thomas back inside the hideout to finalise their plan to get into the WCKD facility.
…and you’re going to tell her. You’re not dying. 
There was a nagging voice in the back of Newt’s head that was telling him not to believe Thomas. That Newt was going to die, or worse, turn into a crank and hurt his loved ones. That voice had followed him from the Maze, to the Scorch, and now the Last City. It was the voice that had driven him over the edge of the Maze walls all those years ago. But not anymore.
Newt had to keep hope, just as Y/N had taught him. He just had to be brave.
~
Y/N sat in the corner of her white-walled cell, hugging her knees to her chest as she rested her head on top. She’d sat there for hours, perhaps days. Y/N lost track of time after her first month in WCKD’s facility. 
There were no windows, and the lights never dimmed. She pressed her eyes into her knees in the hopes of downing out the incessant white light. Her eyes ached with sleep deprivation, but she refused to sleep. The nightmares were much worse to deal with, and they always came whenever she closed her eyes.
Images of her friends dying in the Maze and the Scorch, of Grievers chasing her, of her friends turning into cranks and attacking her. Images fed to her by WCKD. 
She knew they weren’t real, but she could never wake herself up in time to escape them. So, she stayed awake, knowing that she’ll have no choice but to face her nightmares when the doctors and scientists come to test on her again.
Y/N shivered at the thought of seeing another needle, of seeing her blood drained from her while WCKD turned her mind against her. When will it be enough? She might’ve lost track of time, but Y/N knew she’d been in the facility for a while now. If they hadn’t found anything by now, something told Y/N that nothing she gave would ever be enough. That included her life.
She knew Thomas and Newt would be dumb enough to come after her and Minho – that’s just the kind of people they were. Her heart ached at the thought that their efforts would be in vain. 
Y/N hadn’t seen Minho since they arrived, having been separated from each other and the other immunes. Something about how they were the most promising subjects, she overheard from a scientist one time. Y/N didn’t know if Minho was alive, and if he was, what condition he was in. 
But Minho was strong, the strongest of all the Gladers in Y/N’s opinion. If he was being tortured like her, he would be able to hold on. Y/N highly doubted she would last much longer.
The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you…
Y/N wasn’t sure if Newt knew she was actually awake that first night in the Scorch, but she’d heard him, his words so soft she thought she’d dreamt it at first. But it had been real; Newt thought she was brave.
She was too dehydrated to produce tears, but an ugly sob desperately tried to escape her aching chest. She bit her lips instead, hard enough to draw a little blood, and the sob died out, leaving her body quiet except for her mind.
I’m sorry Newt, but I am not brave.
Even so, Y/N refused to crumble to WCKD anymore. They’d taken everything from her. Her life, her memories, her loved ones, her friends. Even her hope – something she so naively believed no one could take from her. They would not take her dignity.
She raised her head at the sound of her cell door unlocking, blinking a few times as bright light flooded her vision once more. Two WCKD soldiers and two scientists stood by the door, and Y/N spied a gurney just behind them. 
One of the scientists – young male, maybe in his early twenties – stepped forward. ‘Time for more testing, Y/N,’ he said in a cold tone. But he had the sense to look sympathetic as his eyes roamed over Y/N as she stood up, showing how pale her S/C skin had become, how dark the circles beneath her eyes were, how the cargo pants and grey t-shirt hung off her in areas where she used to fill.
Y/N knew it was useless, but still she ran for the door, pushing past the scientists with ease despite her weakened state. However, she hit the soldiers like a brick wall, unable to fight against them as they restrained her arms and pressed her against the wall. The male scientist recovered quickly and injected her with a serum that made her drowsy enough that she wasn’t in control of her body. She was conscious as the soldiers strapped her to the gurney and the four of them wheeled her down corridor after corridor, and all she could do was watch fluorescent lights pass her by as she stared at the ceiling. 
Soon enough, she was in a familiar room: the test lab. 
‘It hasn’t been that long since we last tested her,’ the other scientist – a female, about the same age as her co-worker – said, her words laced with worry. ‘We put her under again, we risk losing her for good this time.’
‘I didn’t make the call,’ the male said as he continued to set up equipment around Y/N. ‘When Janson says he wants a cure, I don’t question him. Do you?’
The female didn’t answer, switching her focus to helping her co-worker. Y/N could slowly feel the serum wearing off – it was obviously only a light dose, the scientists knowing they’d put her under when they began testing. 
But just as they unstrapped her to move her to the nightmare simulator, the room shook, sending Y/N rolling to the ground as glass and steel broke around her. 
Sounds were muffled briefly and her vision blurred in and out of focus. She couldn’t hear what exactly the soldiers were shouting, but she saw them run out of the room alongside other soldiers. That just left her and the scientists. 
Y/N flexed her fingers, the serum completely wearing off. Before she could stand though, two hands roughly grabbed her arms and hauled her to her feet. ‘Come on, Y/N,’ the male scientist said, pushing her towards the machine. ‘Just one more trip under…’
Fear electrified Y/N’s every nerve. No, not again. With a desperate cry, she shoved the male into the utensils table, sending him and the tools scattering across the ground. Before he could get up, Y/N straddled his upper body and slammed his arms into the ground.
‘Get off me!’ he yelled, struggling violently beneath Y/N. He managed to twist them both around until she was the one pinned to the ground. Y/N struggled but to no avail. She was significantly weaker than she was when she was first captured and he knew that.
‘You little brat,’ he spat in her face. ‘Ungrateful, selfish immunes. Your duty is to save us all! You–’
He was cut off when he suddenly went slack, falling unconscious on top of Y/N. She scrambled out from underneath him, then looked up from the floor to find the female scientist with a syringe in her hand. She looked between her unconscious co-worker then Y/N, a scared and disbelieving expression morphing her delicate features. 
‘Go,’ the scientist finally said, her voice shaky, but the resolve in her eyes told Y/N that she wouldn’t chase after her. The room – no, the whole building – shook again, and when Y/N looked out the window, she realised why.
The city outside was on fire. Buildings crumbled, and Y/n could hear the screams and cries of civilians through the broken windows. The scientist wouldn’t chase her because there was no point. 
This was the end.
‘Go!’ The scientist insisted, and Y/N didn’t think twice. She picked herself up, ignoring the cuts and scraps of glass it caused her, and ran out of the room.
She ran into the corridor, ignoring the cries of soldiers and other scientists who recognised her as a subject. She didn’t know where she was going, but this was the most freedom she’d had in forever.
Then a thought came to her – Minho. She had to find him, he surely had to be alive. She would run through every floor if she had to to find him. So she ran, looking into every test lab, every storage closest, every break room on the floor. 
‘Minho!’ she cried, uncaring at this point if someone heard her. She just wanted to find him. She didn’t want to die without a familiar face with her. ‘Minho, where are you?’
She rounded a corner, right into the chest of a WCKD soldier. He was caught by surprise, giving Y/N an opportunity to slam him into the wall. It was like her fear was giving her a boost of strength, as she kneed him in the groin, sending him to the ground. He dropped the pistol he was holding, and she quickly picked it up and smacked the butt over the back of his head. He fell to the floor in one last scuffle and laid unmoving as Y/N sucked in deep breaths.
‘Y/N?’
She whirled around at the familiar call of her name, only to find three other people had entered the corridor. Thomas, Minho, and Newt. Her eyes scanned over them all, heart aching with an intense relief it threatened to crush her chest. ‘Guys?’ Her voice was hoarse with disuse and exhaustion. She was surprised she even had a voice after all her screaming.
Newt stepped forward, a relieved smile gracing his lips. ‘Yeah, love,’ he said, sounding on the verge of tears. ‘It’s us.’
Y/N’s first instinct was to run into his arms, the only place she’d felt since leaving the Maze. But she took a closer look at him. He was paler than when she last saw him, almost sickly with how dark the circles under his eyes were. Crank.
She pointed the pistol at her friends, causing them to raise their hands in shock. ‘Whoa, Y/N, it’s us!’ Thomas exclaimed.
‘No,’ she said, her voice cracking ever so slightly. ‘How do I know I’m not in that simulator again? How do I know this isn’t just another test, another trial?’
‘What are you talking about, Y/N?’ Newt asked, worry crinkling his brow. 
’She doesn’t trust her mind,’ Minho said, as if in explanation. ‘Boy, they really did a number on her…’
‘Shut up!’ Y/N unlocked the safety and pointed the gun at Minho. ‘You’re just trying to trick me. Make me think everything is all right. But it’s just a lie. You’re not here. You’re not here…’
Newt stepped into the firing line. ‘We are here, love. I promise, we’re really here.’
‘Newt…’ Thomas warned, but Newt remained, eyes locked on Y/N’s.
Y/N couldn’t look away from Newt. He sounded so genuine, so much more real than previous simulations. But WCKD couldn’t be trusted, and they were wearing soldier uniforms…
Her hands shook but her voice was strong. ‘Prove it,’ she said. ’Tell me something only the real Newt would know.’
Newt swallowed thickly. ‘Okay, um… You cut yourself when you tried out being a Slicer and had to have Clint and Jeff fix you up. That’s when you thought being a Medjack would be a good idea.’
‘WCKD was watching us the whole time. They would’ve seen that,’ she countered, using both hands to grip the gun. 
‘Okay, okay,’ Newt said, looking away a moment to think of something else. When he finally looked back at her, he was calm once more, eyes genuine and sincere. ‘How about how I jumped off the walls of the Maze in an attempt to kill myself?’
The world around the four of them seemed to freeze, as if the world wasn’t collapsing outside. To Y/N’s knowledge, Newt had never told anyone the truth of what happened that day. It was the shocked and tragic expressions on both Minho and Thomas’ faces respectively that had Y/N loosening her grip on the gun slightly.
Newt took a small step closer, eyes never straying from her. ‘I had lost all hope of getting out of that bloody maze. So I did the one thing I could do to control the situation. But I failed.’ He stepped closer again. ‘I was embarrassed, ashamed. I was just a coward. But you healed me and told me something I will never forget. I have held onto it like a lifeline through the Maze, through the Scorch, and all the time I was looking for you.’
He took one final step towards her, unfazed at how the gun pressed hard against his chest. Now that he was so close, Y/N saw just how sick he was. He looked like the early stage victims of the Flare they’d seen in the decrepit city they’d lost Brenda and Thomas in temporarily. And while Y/N refused to believe Newt – her beloved, sweet Newt – was infected, his eyes were the same as always. Open, honest, and truthful.
‘The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you.’
It wasn’t the fact that he knew the exact words – again, WCKD had cameras everywhere in that Maze, they would’ve heard it. It was instead the emotion tied to the words. She felt them, felt the lifeline they’d created for him in his darkest moment. He wasn’t lying, and that meant he was real.
Finally, she allowed the sob to break free as she dropped the gun and threw her arms around Newt’s neck. He breathed out in relief, bringing her closer to his chest, face pressed into her H/C hair.
‘It’s really you,’ she whimpered, grasping tighter to the person she’s always been able to rely on. The person who has always protected her and brought out the best in her. Her closest friend, her safety net, her home. 
‘It is, love,’ he said into her hair, breathing her in deeply. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you before.’
‘It’s okay,’ she said, pulling away to look up at him then to the other two. ‘I can’t believe you came after us.’
‘I know right,’ Minho said, punching Thomas’ arm lightly. ‘Dumb shanks.’
‘You can berate us later,’ Thomas said, rubbing his arm. ‘Right now, we’ve got to get out of here before Lawrence brings down the whole city.’
Y/N went to ask what he meant but gripped onto Newt instead as the building shook again.
‘Come on, let’s go,’ Newt said, grabbing Y/N’s hand with one hand, and holding a launcher in the other. Together, the four of them ran to escape WCKD once and for all.
~
‘Brenda!’
Y/N didn’t care about the rain of bullets and walls of fire around her as she ran for the berg. After hearing Teresa’s broadcast, she needed to get the cure back to Newt fast. Leaving him was one of the hardest things she has had to do. He wasn’t in great condition, but Thomas insisted that he’d take care of Newt. But the medicine Thomas had given Brenda all those months ago didn’t just buy her time, it had cured her completely. It could do the same for Newt.
If she could make it in time.
‘Brenda!’ Y/N cried as she spotted her friend. ‘The cure! I need the cure!’
Brenda understood, immediately retrieving one of the extra capsules Mary had made from Thomas’ blood before WCKD raided the camp. ‘Here,’ she said, passing over the injector. 
‘Thanks!’ Y/N said, already sprinting back into the war zone before anyone could stop her. 
She could feel it, the exhaustion, the strain she was putting her body under. Underfed and under trained, she was struggling. But she refused to stop. Newt had come all this way to find her, risked his life to get her out of WCKD’s clutches when he could’ve been administered the temporary cure and been safe on the berg already. No, Y/N refused to let him die without trying.
Minho, Brenda, Frypan, and Gally – Y/N was still shocked about that revelation, but that was for another time to discuss - followed around her, covering her with guns and other weapons as they ran through the war zone.
After an eternity of running, the group rounded a corner to find a sight that made Y/N feel like she was back in the nightmare simulator. Newt was leaning over Thomas with a knife aimed at his chest.
‘Newt, no!’ Y/N cried, running towards the two boys without thought. 
Newt faced her at the call of his name, and she froze as she saw his black eyes. Dark veins branched over his skin and black blood dribbled from his chin. He was a full-blown crank now. 
He raced at her, snarling as he swung the knife at her throat. She ducked just in time and rolled away as he slammed the knife down where her neck was. She quickly jumped to her feet, and despite her fatigue, muscle memory took over her legs, then her hands. That first night in the Scorch came to mind, how her and Newt sparred. The injector was her knife, and Newt her proper opponent.
‘Newt, it’s me,’ she said, slipping into her Medjack demeanour – calm and steady. ‘It’s Y/N. Please, snap out of it for a moment so I can help you.’
She thought he would run at her again, but his brows crinkled with concern and he looked at the knife in his shaky hands. He looked back at her, and the voice he spoke with broke her heart. It was a mixture of his sweet accent and a gargled croak where blood clogged his throat. 
‘Y/N…’ he started. ‘Run away… Before… Before I kill you.’
The scene reminded her of the time he came in with his injured ankle. How desperate he was to fade into nothing because he was scared and ashamed of what he’d done. But just like then, she refused to be scared of him. 
Y/N shook her head. ‘I’m not leaving you, Newt,’ she said. ‘None of us will.’
Newt seemed to realise there were more people than just her and Thomas, turning around to see the others. The sight of them seemed to distress him, though, as he snarled angrily and charged at her. She shuffled back as he swung at her again and again, but as she stepped back again, she tripped on something. She fell onto her back, knocking the air out of her lungs. Before she could gather herself up, Newt was on her, straddling her similar to how he had Thomas pinned before. Newt raised the knife to bring down on her but was tackled by Thomas.
They rolled for a little, then scrambled to their feet as they fought once more. This was Y/N’s only chance. She pushed herself up and ran for the boys, injector at the ready. Newt was bringing the knife forward in a wide arc that would gut Thomas when Y/N threw herself in between them, slamming the injector into Newt’s arm.
Right as his drove the knife into her stomach.
‘Y/N!’ 
She wasn’t sure who called her name, because all she could focus on was Newt as some of the blackness in his eyes cleared and she saw some of his gorgeous brown eyes. She also felt her body finally giving up. As if it knew that this was the end. After all the torture and pain, she had stayed alive so long for one reason. To save Newt – the boy who had been there from the start. So much so she hadn’t realised until he wasn’t there how much he meant to her. How he’d wormed his way into her heart and consumed it without her even knowing. 
She gripped his hand that held the knife in her stomach, unfurled his fingers from the handle, and brought them to her chest where her heart was slowly slowing down. Her weak legs gave out, and she brought Newt down to his knees with her. She could’ve been imagining things, but she swore she saw recognition in his half-black eyes which made her smile as tears finally fell from her eyes.
‘It’s okay, Newt,’ she whispered. ‘It’s okay because… I love you.’
Her vision blurred and she finally let go of Newt as the both of them collapsed to the ground. Her breaths were short and sharp as the pain made itself known. A rush of feet thumped around her, and she had the slightest awareness that someone was moving her, but she didn’t care. She was finally at peace as darkness, at last, consumed her.
~
Y/N woke to the sound of waves rolling over on sand. The first thing she saw was grey canvas, then rolled her head around to see she was lying on a cot in a small tent with tables and medical supplies similar to how her Medjack hut looked. But she wasn’t alone.
‘Oh my God.’ Brenda’s face came into focus as the girl crouched by Y/N’s cot, disbelief and relief morphing her gentle features. ‘You’re awake! You’re finally awake!’
‘Ow,’ Y/N clasped at her head at the sudden loudness. ‘Could you lower your voice please?’
‘Yes, right, sorry,’ Brenda said, but her lips split in a bright smile as she helped Y/N sit up. ‘I’m just so happy you’re okay.’
‘What happened?’ Y/N asked, all she remembered was being stabbed then falling unconscious. She pulled up her fresh linen shirt to see her wound bandaged. ‘I thought I was done for.’
‘So did all of us,’ Brenda admitted, her tone sombre as she pulled up a seat beside the cot. ‘We got you to the berg as quickly as possible and Vince got you stable, but you just weren’t waking up. It’s been a week.’
‘A week?’ Y/N made to get up but sat back down as her wound pulled in an unpleasant way.
‘Whoa, where do you think you’re going?’ Brenda asked stabilising Y/N back in her bed. ‘You’ve just come out of a coma induced by physical and mental torture. Not to mention you were stabbed.’
‘I’m fine. Trust me, I’m trained… somewhat,’ Y/N said, this time able to swing her legs over the side of her cot. Brenda didn’t try and stop her, but she did have to help Y/N when she stood. ‘Now, where is Newt?’ Brenda didn’t answer right away, and tears threatened to pool in Y/N’s eyes at what her silence could mean. ‘Brenda… Is he… Is he alive?’
Brenda, again, didn’t answer, and her face didn’t give anything away either. Instead, she just held back the flap of the tent and motioned for Y/N to exit. Y/N took cautious steps forward as she followed Brenda into a completely new place that had her staring in awe.
It was a bustling camp where sleeping quarters and other spaces were mapped out by canvas strung up on carved wood pillars and posts. Y/N spied a kitchen area where she swore she heard Frypan laughing with some others. 
There was a gathering area where a giant stone stood in front of the seats. There were names carved into it, like what they used to do in the Glade. Y/N tried to make out if a certain blonde’s name was on it. She caught familiar names like Alby and Chuck, Clint and Jeff. 
‘Y/N?’ 
She swung around to find Brenda smiling as she was joined by Thomas, Minho, and Jorge. The three of them ran at her, arms wide open to capture her in a hug.
‘You crazy shank, Minho said, laughter on his lips. ‘Look who finally decided to join the living again.’
‘And here I thought I was the lazy slinthead for sleeping for so long,’ Thomas said jokingly, pulling Y/N in for another hug. ’I’m so relieved.’
‘Welcome back, hermana,’ Jorge said, a warm smile gracing his lips as he gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder.
‘Good to be back,’ Y/N replied, smiling at the three males. ‘What happened after I thought I’d died?’
Thomas went to reply, but Minho cut in. ‘We’ll explain later. Right now, I think you should go say hi to someone else.’
Confused, Y/N followed Minho’s gaze to Brenda, who stood atop a hill and was staring over the other side of it. Y/N quickly reached Brenda’s position and followed her gaze to a large garden that people were working on. But her breath caught at the sight of a familiar blond at the edge of the gardens talking and pointing in all directions to people.
‘Hey, Newt!’ Brenda called out, causing the blond to turn around and look up. At first, he saw Brenda, but his gaze soon fell on Y/N and his whole face changed into disbelief.
With the other gardeners forgotten, he started climbing up the hill, and Y/N couldn’t wait another moment so she started walking down the hill. 
They met in the middle, with Y/N standing at Newt’s height on the uphill. Neither said anything to begin with, both in disbelief and awe at who stood in front of them. Y/N looked over Newt, noting he still looked pale and somewhat sickly. But the dark veins were gone, as was the black blood and his black eyes. And the sun shone so brightly that his hair looked golden. It was as if he was never infected to begin with.
With a shaky hand, she reached out to rest her hand over his beating heart. ‘You’re alive,’ she whispered, too scared to voice it too loudly in case this was also another nightmare. 
But he proved her doubts wrong as he rested his own hand on top of hers. ‘I am,’ he said, and the usual warmth of his voice truly convinced her he was real. 
His face pinched suddenly with concern and guilt. ‘I’m so sorry, Y/N,’ he said, his hand tightening slightly over hers. ‘I hurt you. I almost…’
‘It’s okay,’ she interrupted, using her free hand to cradle is cheek and keep his eyes on her. ‘You didn’t. I am here, too. Looks like we both saved each other.’
To her relief Newt smiled. It was a genuine, happy smile, something she hadn’t seen on him in a long time. He nuzzled into her hand briefly, before bringing it down with his free hand so he held her hands between them. 
‘Before I passed out,’ he started, ‘I remember you saying something.’
‘Oh.’ A blush heated upon her cheeks, but she refused to look away from him. ‘Right. I did say something.’
She was trying to play it cool, but as soon as his deep brown eyes fixed on her, she knew he could see right through her. But he didn’t smile smugly, he didn’t tease. He actually looked scared as his jaw clenched, fighting to find the next words to speak. 
‘You said you love me,’ he finally said, words tight but hopeful. ‘Is that true?’
Y/N’s mouth dried up suddenly, constricted by all the things she wished to say but couldn’t say all at once. It’s not like she was scared, she just never thought she would live long enough to have a future, let alone one with love. One with Newt.
But she had – she had survived WCKD’s cruelty, she had survived the terrors of the old world, she had survived when so many of her friends hadn’t. And it was her duty to live her gift of a life to the fullest.
‘Yes,’ she finally said, and it was like breathing in fresh air after being underground for so long. ‘I love you, Newt. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I do. I love you.’ 
There was a second of hesitation, but then Newt broke out into a wide smile, and Y/N swore she saw tears brim in his eyes. He suddenly reached one hand up to cradle her neck as he pulled Y/N in for a sweet kiss that simultaneously knocked the air out of her and breathed new life into her. He held her neck and hip, and she pressed her hands against his chest, satisfied to feel his heart thundering beneath her hands. The heart that almost never beat again, the heart that had saved her over and over again. 
The kiss was short but was no less breath-taking, and when they pulled apart neither could stop the smiles on their faces. 
‘I love you, too,’ Newt said. ‘If that wasn’t already obvious.’
Y/N threw her head back in a hearty laugh. She slung her arms around Newt’s neck, a cheeky grin dancing across her lips. ‘I’m not so sure. Maybe we could try that again to make sure?’
‘Cheeky bugger,’ he murmured as he pressed his lips to hers again. Y/N sighed into the kiss, grasping the baby hairs at the base of his head. 
They pulled apart at the sound of their friends whooping and clapping atop the hill. Y/N felt her face erupt with embarrassed heat, to which Newt laughed as she ducked her head into his chest. 
‘All right, come on lovebirds!’ Minho called out. ‘Dinner’s almost ready.’
As they walked down out of sight, Y/N went to follow but was stopped by a loose grip on her wrist.
‘What is it?’ she asked as she turned back to Newt.
‘I just…’ Newt turned to the gardens below, then to the water, then to the sunset that bathed the whole camp in beautiful hues of orange, pink and purple. When he finally turned back to Y/N, she thought he couldn’t look any more handsome with that pure sunshine smile and sparkle in his eyes. ‘Thanks.’
‘For what?’ she asked.
‘For teaching me how to be brave,’ he answered.
Y/N gave his hand a squeeze. ‘You were always brave, Newt,’ she said. ‘It’s how I learned how to be brave in the first place.’
Newt squeezed her hand in return, then they walked hand in hand back up the hill and down to dinner to where their friend awaited them. 
Where the lives they never imagined they’d get a chance to live awaited them.
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