#my moms like why dont you just go to a professional and i said because im not paying 30$ for them to cut off two inches LMAO
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Immediately forgets everything that happened in June. Uh. I threw a tea party! Finished a knit hat! Did one (1) queer corvid piece! Started playing baldurs gate! Read some good books! SAW SOME SANDHILL CRANES!!!! Found new enrichment in the form of a new walking route! A busy busy month! Didn't read as much as I intended, but I did get to check off five more books on my Reading Books I Own chart so I call that a win.
The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakranorty ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- WHAT A FUN BOOK! "Adventure" is the perfect word for this. Yes, it's a trilogy with only one book out, but this also works so well on its own, as individual books SHOULD! It's its own little thing. Wrapped up neat and tidy with little threads to pick up in the future. I had so much fun and the audiobook was a DELIGHT, I want to read it again immediately.
The Novice by Taran Matharu ⭐- This has been sitting on my shelf since its release. It moved homes with me. It will not be doing so again. Bland, generic, poorly written. Proof just because you were an internet success, doesn't mean you don't need an editor. Also proof that publishing is about Luck and Connections. I know goodreads ratings mean Nothing, but come on. Why is this one so high. Did people really enjoy it that much? HOW??
Translation State by Ann Leckie ⭐⭐⭐⭐- Okay. Look. This was not my favorite Leckie novel. In fact it very well could by me least favorite Leckie novel. HOWEVER. Even then, it was still fun and enjoyable. I wish it ended differently, but I still loved all the characters and how they interact. I do want to reread this as well, because I remember enjoying Ancillary Justice more the second time around and I wonder if the same will happen here.
What Moves The Dead by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread! To get ready for What Feasts At Night! Even knowing all the secrets, it's still a perfectly bite sized creepy read. My favorite thing about Kingfishers writing is how even with the darkest subjects she still manages to add humor. And it never seems out of place! It's a great breather for the reader but doesn't detract from the tension. Do not recommend reading this while walking through a field of bunnies.
What Feasts At Night by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I gave What Moves The Dead four stars at my initial read through, so I wonder if this will ALSO change to five stars upon rereading. I had to read the first few chapters twice for them to stick, and ended up switching to the audiobook which was very well done. I really didn't expect another book about Alex Easton, but I'm hooked now to be honest. I mean, stop putting this soldier in Situations, but also. I want to know what other Situations ka gets into. Angus and Miss Potter are adorable.
The library has a few summer reading games with prizes so my reading in the upcoming months will be influenced by those. Someone said there might even be a local bookstore gift package in the mix and I Want That. I do still want to do the Bone Season updated read, if for no other reason than to get rid of those books so I don't have to pack and move them. Other than that, no reading plans. I've read nearly every book that's on the shelf in my bedroom, which, wow, so it's getting harder to choose what to read. I guess that's a good thing! Leaves more room to reread old favorites.
#bookbird babbles#reading wrap up#monthly wrap up#june wrap up#books#booklr#i dont want to get rid of the bone season books bc theyre the og hardbacks with the GOOD covers#but honestly. i like the anniversary editions so much better#those white covers though......oof lmao#but like. if the book is Bad then who cares lmao#i could probably sell them tbh#i know theyre in high demand in the fandom#or were five years ago#i think the fandom has kind of given up bc it takes so long for each book to come out#and i mean. authors dont owe us anything and all that but.#girl.#ten years since book one released and youre not even halfway through your seven book series#....maybe you are#four books are out?#STILL YOU GET MY POINT#grrm behavior and that is NOT a compliment#anyway. it was an okay month#neighbors suck my health sucks the weather sucks#but the tea party fucked we killed that one#oh also i gave myself a terrible haircut the other night#chop chop!!!!!#my moms like why dont you just go to a professional and i said because im not paying 30$ for them to cut off two inches LMAO#stylists work hard but im broke thanks#ill suffer an uneven haircut for a while if it means i can do other things like buy a silly little boba#id like to dye it soon too and now that all the old blond is gone i should be safe lol
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.
but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)
LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!
#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this#like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job#“hi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forum”#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you 🥰#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like “well you gotta get your insurance now so you#can get on the right meds“ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will#and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work#and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response#and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY#PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack#of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance#his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me#and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#“being on too many medications killed my grandma”#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.
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The treasure is all mine!
-Prologe- (Chapter one, chapter two) Genshin Impact x Creator!Reader
warnings: first post ever! almost swear word, the most classic start to a SAGAU fic ever (Im sorry I dont know hot to start else), no y/n used, gender neutral ,english isn't my first language so propably spelling errors, I don't know how Aranaras talk. (I professionally ignored that quest.), characters might turn yandere in the future
summary: After playing TCG your screen becomes strangely white. It starts glowing brighter and brighter and the light seems to suck you in? That can't go wrong... right? Suddenly you find yourself in a forest, not remembering anything but meeting a little creature that might be able to help you out
characters: you, your mom (no this is not a joke), aranara!oc: Aramasu
word count: 1.359
wattpad version here
https://pin.it/38Diiq1CA
"THIS BI-" you yelled at the screen. The third time. The third time you lost at that damn card game, and the third time you got annoyed because of it. "How?? How can this be so hard? It's the same technique I always use when I play normally! It works against bosses; why not now in the Genius Invocation TCG? I was so close this time too!" With a frustrated sigh, you let your head fall back. On the screen was still the word "defeat," big and plastered onto a red background for extra drama. Seriously, who had this idea? It's just frustrating at this point. Not even the recommended teams online seemed to work. You even tried copying the other players' teams that defeated you, but you still lost anyway. Why were you doing this again? Oh right... rewards.
Another sigh escaped your mouth when you heard your mother's voice from the kitchen. "Darling! Come down, dinner is ready!" A small smile crept on your face. 'Darling,' a nickname your mom gave you whenever she was in a good mood. Seems like work was quite alright today.
"Coming!" you answered, the dinner smell already reaching you by the time you finally mustered up the courage to sit up. Looking at the screen one last time, you decided to stop playing Genshin Impact for today. You had already done your dailies and everything else you felt like doing. Seriously though, doing dailies started to feel like a chore. That's why you were more than happy to open chests and explore instead. Standing up, you turned the game off and watched the screen go black.
Or... did it?
You were just about to leave the room when it lit up once more, but not with the loading screen, just plain white. "What the..." A bright white light filled the room, instantly blinding you. With your hands lifted before your eyes, you managed to get closer. "What is this?!" you said, a bit of fear in your voice. This had never happened before! You didn't even know that your screen could be so blinding! Just when you were about to touch it, everything went dark. Dark and warm. That's all you felt. Looking around frantically, you tried to make sense of the situation. It was still bright outside, so it shouldn't have been so dark now! Maybe just the aftermath of the blinding light?
"Darling, are you okay?" You heard a voice in the distance, but it felt oddly far away, as if it went further and further away with every word spoken. "M-.. Mom?" you asked, but there was no answer. It was still very warm. So warm. Slowly, you felt yourself grow weaker and weaker. Soon your knees gave in, but you didn't fall while your eyes closed shut. Before you could say anything else, your consciousness had already left your body. . . . . So... comfy. It was so warm, like on a sunny summer day when you lie down on the grass and just enjoy the fresh air. Talking of which, whatever you lay on felt just as nice. The sounds of birds could be heard in the distance. After a couple of minutes, you opened your eyes and saw...
A vast expanse of vibrant green, stretching out before you. You're lying on a bed of soft moss, the texture cushioning your body like the most luxurious mattress. Above, a canopy of trees sways gently in the breeze, their leaves creating a symphony of whispers. Sunlight filters through the branches, casting dappled patterns of light and shadow that dance around you.
You sit up slowly, feeling the softness of the moss beneath your fingers. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the earthy aroma of the forest floor. You take a deep breath, the freshness of the air invigorating you. The sounds of chirping birds and the distant babble of a stream create a soothing background melody.
As you look around, the forest feels both alien and familiar. Massive trees with trunks wide enough to house entire rooms rise majestically around you. Their leaves are an array of colors, from the deepest greens to shimmering golds, reflecting the sunlight in a magical display. The forest floor is dotted with flowers of every hue, some glowing faintly, adding to the otherworldly atmosphere.
Confused, you try to remember how you got here. The last thing you recall is the blinding white light from your screen and your mother calling you for dinner. Your thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of something soft nuzzling your hand. Looking down, you see a white rabbit, its fur pristine and its eyes large and expressive. It seems completely at ease, cuddling against your hand as if it belongs there.
With a gentle touch, you stroke the fur of the rabbit. It nuzzles into your hand, happy and content. A gentle smile spreads across your face. Have you ever felt so at peace before? It's hard to say when you don't remember anything from before. Not like it matters now. Nothing matters. There is no reason to question anything at all. Not why this wild rabbit is so calm and cuddly with you, not scared at all. Not why you don't feel certain things, like hunger or thirst. It's all so nice and warm and cozy.
Wait, there is something. Some feeling, not very familiar, but you still recognize it. Are you being watched?
Yes. No, no, it can't be that. Probably? Turning around, you scan your surroundings. All the bushes, the trees, and their leaf crowns, then you see it.
It isn't threatening, more weirdly familiar than anything. The small creature is floating above the ground with a little cute 'hat'? One word pops into your head as the creature comes closer: 'Aranara.' But how do you know that? It feels natural, like knowing the name of a dog or cat. Aramasu. This little Aranara's name is Aramasu.
"You're not a Nara," says the curious creature.
You answer, "No, I am no Nara. That's what I believe, at least."
With a soft smile, you reach out, cupping the little Aranara's face. It looks up, surprised, almost speechless. The warmth soothing through its body by the mere touch of you.
"What might you be doing here, little Aramasu?"
The rabbit, still cuddled up in your other hand, seems very happy with the encounter. The Aranara isn't surprised that you know its name; it feels truly natural.
Aramasu's eyes widen slightly, then it relaxes into your touch. "I was just wandering, like I always do. But today felt different. The forest whispered to me of a new presence, something... special."
You look around; the forest seems to glow with a subtle, otherworldly light, as if acknowledging Aramasu's words. The trees sway gently, and the air is filled with a soft, harmonious hum. It feels as though the entire forest is alive and aware of your presence, welcoming you in a way that goes beyond mere coincidence.
"Special?" you ask, intrigued. "How so?"
Aramasu tilts its head, studying you with a curious expression. "You have a light within you, one that resonates with the heart of the forest. It's warm and soothing, like the embrace of the earth itself. It's rare to see such light in anyone other than the forest spirits."
The rabbit nudges your hand, drawing your attention back to its soft fur. You feel a sense of contentment and belonging, unlike anything you've ever experienced—or at least, anything you can remember. The forest, the creatures, even the very air around you, all seem to sing in harmony with your presence.
"Perhaps," Aramasu continues, "you are more than what you think you are. The forest recognizes you, and so do I."
As you ponder Aramasu's words, a sense of purpose begins to stir within you. Though you may not remember your past, the present feels vivid and alive, as if this is where you were always meant to be. The forest, with all its mysteries and wonders, seems to be waiting for you to discover your true self.
-to be continued-
https://pin.it/3bEkLA0wa
Thank you so much for reading! Fell free to give me feedback and ideas how to continue this!
Mika
#first post#genshin impact x reader#genshin x creator reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin sagau#sagau x reader#genshin impact sagau#aranara
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PRINCESS TREATMENT
: CL16
genre: stupid fluff, social media (smau)
warnings: translated french
A/N: let’s ignore everything that happened in this gp! this is my first EVER f1 fic so ernmmm bare with me! i’ve had this like whole thing in my head for a while but i was just too lazy LMAO ANYWAYS i’m also deprived of some fics..ENJOY ?!!
synopsis: soft launching a relationship with charles — charles leclerc x streamer fem!reader (fc: tina kitten)
yourusername
liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 793,610 others
yourusername when he gets the princess treatment instead of me..
user1 my streamer is in a relationship..🫠
user2 this means we can’t be parasocial no more…I HOPE THIS “MAN” CAN FIGHT.
alex_albon okay tell him to stop being clingy so you can play goat simulator with us
yourusername he said, “they suck at the game so they can wait, i like the princess treatment” soo…
user4 as much as i want to theorize and say it’s an F1 driver it’s unlikely…she’s just a twitch streamer.
user8 “just a twitch streamer” my ass..as if she isn’t the biggest streamer and influencer
user4 i mean itd be a downgrade for a professional to date a non professional athlete or like model or idol🤷♀️
charles_leclerc okay little buddy it’s past your bedtime
charles_leclerc aww so cute (HOP ONTO GOAT SIMULATOR LANDO IS BEING ANNOYINGGG)
landonorris okay buddy..don’t make me use THE blackmail.
charles_leclerc
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, tomholland and 2,072,473 others
charles_leclerc my jpg era? nahh
user3 okay so are we going to talk about who took these photos cause i know damn well you didn’t take them..
yourusername whoever styled you should get a raise
charles_leclerc i’ll tell her that, it’ll inflate her ego some more
yourusername she doesn’t deserve you 😐
user5 HOLD ON. HER?? IS HE IN A RELATIONSHIP AS WELL.
user6 this is kinda suspicious..what if.
user2 WHAT IF????
user6 what if yn and charles are 🤞
carlossainz55 charlie finally got a sense of style !!
pierregasly groundbreaking ‼️
user9 okay but why does he actually look good in this outfit..
user10 f1 twt going crazy over this fit
liked by yourusername
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, georgerussell63 and 628,927 others
yourusername stream today!! we’ll be playing among us vr with *drumroll* landonorris and georgerussell63, be sure to tune into it today
user1 WITH THOSE TWO??? it sounds chaotic..
user10 HMMM….
charles_leclerc where is my invite ☹️
yourusername you said no because chat would laugh at you..
charles_leclerc this makes it seem like those two are your favorites…
yourusername they are.
charles_leclerc hand back the paddock passes<3
yourusername IM JOKING HAHA YOURE MY FAVORITE!!
liked by charles_leclerc
user5 bye they’re literally flirting.
liked by charles_leclerc and yourusername
user6 THE HEART AFTER PADDOCK..am i seeing this correctly
user2 what if you actually predicted it…
alex_albon i can already hear lando screaming..
landonorris slanderous.
charles_leclerc
liked by yourusername, pierregasly, landonorris, lewishamiliton, alex_albon and 1,729,168 others
charles_leclerc désolé mon amour le secret est sorti..😅❤️
user6 YEAH I KNEW IT. everyone who made bets pay up! i do apple pay venmo zelle paypal
user1 bye you’re so unserious 😭
user3 aye they tryna make bank i don’t blame them
user2 it’s like they’re a mastermind..IS CHARLES GOING TO WIN THE NEXT GP?!?
user6 yes. he is going to podium and be at least 2 or 3
yourusername you couldn’t wait just a little longer..not till your next gp? ;;
charles_leclerc my fingers slipped!!
yourusername fat fingers!
charles_leclerc that’s not very nice chéri:(
yourusername yeah no more princess treatment for you.
charles_leclerc HEY NOW…THATS NOT FUNNY.
landonorris are mom and dad fighting..☹️
charles_leclerc i hope you never get imposter when you play amongus again
landonorris HEY MAN TOO FAR.
user11 “mon amour” BYE. I DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW LONG THEYVE BEEN TOGETHER.
user10 the pictures..THE PICTURES. sleeping on a highway tonight 🤞
user4 interesting choice in a s/o…
user7 the floating lantern picture…I JUST WANNA KNOW WHO WAS THE ONE THIRD WHEELING THAT THING.
yourbestie that person would be me 😍
yourbestie took y’all forever, im surpised charlie brown over here didn’t spill the beans earlier
charles_leclerc who are you calling charlie brown? 😒
yourbestie you.
@ surshica | rb & follow.
#- surshica ♥︎#IMAGINES 💌 ୧ ˚₊#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#formula 1#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader
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hometown hero — chapter one | back in town.
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: onyankopon finally lives that dream of playing professional basketball, but through the glitz and glamour, he’s still in love with the girl from his hometown.
𝐍𝐘𝐀 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: word count: 868, this is really long and can u tell i love ony
get added to the taglist. <3
𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ᥫ᭡ 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 ᥫ᭡ 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀
“y/n, you heard that your man’s coming back in town?” lae asked as you sat across from her, getting a fill and a new design. “i have a man?” you asked her, fake confused because you knew who she was talking about. “onyankopon supposed to be touching down in the city today, you gonna go see him?” she asked, smiling at you. “let’s be clear, he’ll definitely come see me before i go see him.” a laugh could be heard from the both of you. you and onyankopon had an interesting relationship, that was one way to put it.
you transferred middle schools in seventh grade, moving all the way across the country. when you moved schools, onyankopon was your first friend. he was drawn to you because he realized you were quiet, and that if he didn’t make a move first, the two of you would never become friends. maintaining this friendship through school was easy, you, him, violet and tylae even decided on the same high school in eighth grade.
as you all grew up, onyankopon grew a love for basketball. he played all four years of high school, and then he got offers from all types of colleges. you thought you’d lose contact with him after college, because going pro was a dream he was willing to make happen, regardless of who he had to cut off. but onyankopon liked you a lot, enough to make sure he kept contact with you, and he even does now, now that he’s in the nba.
⎯⎯⎯⎯
violet rushed into the door of tylae’s salon, holding her laptop and papers in her hand. her blonde hair was in a claw clip as she sat on one of the waiting chairs. tylae’s salon was closed on the weekend, closed to everyone but the two of you. “girl, why are you running in here like that?” tylae asked as she spun her chair around to see violet. “oh, i was running? sorry.” violet said, smiling. “you guys heard onyankopon’s coming back today? supposedly to see his mom.” sometimes, you and tylae forget that violet is a journalist, and she would know all this information before you two.
“yeah, we heard, vi.” “he’s bringing levi and their manager too.” violet responded, looking through her papers as she talked to the both of you. “you sure he’s only here for pleasure? the man can’t keep himself from working.” you said, rolling your eyes at the thought of his reluctance to stop working. “pretty sure it’s just pleasure, if it is for work, they’re coming earlier than the rest of the team.” violet said, chewing on her gum as she read through her paper.
⎯⎯⎯⎯
sitting in your living room, a cup of noodles in your hand and rick & morty on your tv, your phone lit up with a text from onyankopon.
ony 🤍
just got off my flight, u home?
y/n
what happened to going to see your mom ? 😭
ony 🤍
i’ll see u first, come with me to see my dukes?
y/n
okay, only because i love ur mom
ony 🤍
don’t love me nm? crazyyyy
y/n
no i dont. see u soon love u
⎯⎯⎯⎯
you sat on your couch, still into your show, when you heard a knock at your door. your heartbeat immediately went up, excited to see your friend after so long. you opened the door, revealing onyankopon, who clearly was enjoying that nba money. he had on two cuban link chains, diamond earrings on both ears, (the last time you saw him, he only had one.) and gold fronts in his teeth. he looked good, looked like he just got a fresh haircut too.
“how long you gonna stare, girl?” he asked with a smile, pulling you into a hug. “i wasn’t staring! you’re just so..shiny.” you said with a smile, eyeing his chains. “like the ice, huh? maybe i’ll have to get you some.” onyankopon smiled, walking into your apartment. “you got a nice place here, upped the ante from the last time i was here.” he said, looking around at your decorations. “well, it’s been almost seven months since you’ve been here, and a lot has happened for my bank account in those seven months.” you noted.
“yeah, i heard you on your tiana shit, got yourself a restaurant.” onyankopon commented, “heard all about the place. gotta let me see it soon while i’m here.” he said. “well, when do you leave?” you questioned him, “if you really wanna see, i’ll show you tomorrow.” “i don’t leave ‘til monday.” onyankopon responded, picking up one of the mini jade statues on your end table. “okay, for one, put that down before you break it, and two, why are you here for so long? neglecting your job?” you asked him teasingly, to which he rolled his eyes.
“me and levi are here early, we have a home game saturday.” onyankopon replied, “speaking of, you should come, bring lae and vi if you want.” he said with a smile. “only if we get courtside seats.” you said, jokingly. “of course you’d get courtside, you think i’d have my girl in nosebleeds?”
#aot#nya writes#aot x black reader#attack on titan#aot x reader#black writblr#aot fanfiction#onyankopon x reader#onyankopon series#onyankopon#onyankopon x black reader#snk onyankopon#onyankopon fanfic#snk headcanons#snk series#snk fandom#snk anime#snk fic
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E👏P👏I👏S👏O👏D👏E SEVENNNN
We just started off with percy walking his way into crusty’s place like woah hold there buddy we’re starting quickly
the set is so pretty and colourful why couldnt everything else be like them ahem ahem waterland cough cough
Why do they know everything already 😭they’re really taking out the middle school cluelessness out of everyone in this show and its making me mad sometimes
What do you MEAN he casually has an entrance to the underworld?
walker’s acting was rlly good in this ep btw
The whole bed scene was so anticlimactic and quick STOP
”youre lucky we let you keep your head on” YEAH WELL SO IS DISNEY
grover just walking in like is it over now?? DISNEY I BEG OF YOU LET GROVER DO SOMETHING
grover’s squeaky ball to calm himself down😭 🥺
Sally and percy angst was not on my bingo card but here we are
WHEN YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO KEEP HURTING EACH OTHER 😭😭
That transition was neat
wow what a well lit underworld dayum
its confirmed percy and annabeth watched that movie
“Only suckers wait in line” savage
rip ‘we drowned in a bathtub’ hello ‘everyone is dying to some extent’
i dont know if its just me but i feel like the jokes and the humour of the show was more aligned to its pjo adult fans, rather than the books, which rick included middle school humor because that was what the initial audience was. I mean removing the fun of the lotus casino and replacing it with a scene of percy driving a car (which is an activity adults do) and the dying on the inside is something only adults in their quarter life crisis complain about
Idk it doesnt feel like annabeth is scratching cerberus because she genuinely likes dogs, it feels like more of a strategical move which i am not the happiest about BECAUSE I WANT SOFT ANNABETH
squeak squeak
PERCY PULLING ANNABETH UP FROM A CLIFF
”excuse me” i love how professional she is
i read so many fanfics and theories on how the fourth pearl would go missing?? And grover lost it??? Thats it???
I hate that principal why are you taking something a 10 year old said and say he needs ‘psychological monitoring’?? Hon he drew a horsie with wings that he claimed he saw, he doesnt need to go to a psych ward or therapy or something
but imagine percy hearing this in the other room🥺
I feel like all of them have a reason to get rooted and stuff in asphodel but its apparently only annabeth so
not grover seeing two of his friends turning into trees🥺
Idk grover’s not that emotional at all about anything?? Hes supposed to be scared and on the verge of tears 24/7? Not aryans fault just the writers
ANNABETH STRESSING ON THE FACT THAT THEY NEED TO SAVE PERCYS MOM TOO 🥹
Percy rlly just said “periodt💅”
They really copy pasted hades from the musical why is no one talking about that?
walker’s acting>>>>>
why are you trying so hard to get rid of me 🥺
THE WHOLE SALLY AND POSEIDON SCENE 😭 NO SALLY U ARE NOT FAILING
I love the fact that percy’s still chilling there
I WAS ACTUALLY EXPECTING POSEIDON TO GO ACT AS A WAITER TO TALK TO PERCY LOLL
what do you mean they have to find the helm too???
why no one help grover up??
poseidons speech as percy gets up and looks at ares is peak cinema
#General thoughts: its not as cramped as i thought it would be thankfully#But still there was so much going on#percy jackson#rick riordan#pjo fandom#annabeth chase#percabeth#pjo#heroes of olympus#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#percy jackon and the olympians#percy and grover#percy pjo#percy series#percy and annabeth#annabeth#grover
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WIBTA for refusing to do any more art commissions for my mom's friends?
Ok so I (19nb) am a digital artist. If I had to honestly rate my skills I would put them somewhere in the "good enough to get a few commissions but not professional level" range and I wanted to do it professionally.
Keyword being wanted but I'll get to that
Now my mother has been showing off my art pieces to her friends (no problem with this) and it got one of my mom's friends to ask her if I could draw make icons for the website of her upcoming business back in late April (basically one big icon for the main page and five smaller ones, so six in total, all fully rendered) and paid 200 dollars for all of it (which thinking back was extremely low for the amount of time and effort that I put into that if I was going by living wage effort and time)
So I did that, got the money, spent it all and was happy.
And now yesterday (july 6th) my mom said that she asked one of her other friends (who is also her boss) if I could draw her a new logo for her side business.
SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK ME IF I WANTED TO DO THAT! SHE JUST TOLD HER FRIEND THAT I WOULD DO IT!
Now I got a big commission (dont know how much money Im getting paid) dropped on me with no warning. And apparently my mom and her friend are coming with even MORE ideas for me to draw. (Mind you that commission would take at least a week to two weeks at the MINIMUM and now they're coming up with more)
But the thing is I dont want to to do digital art professionally anymore. I want it to stay as a hobby, something to do for fun and my own enjoyment. The reason why? A one year digital art course I did last year that burnt me out so unbelievably bad. I couldnt make ANY art for myself for an entire YEAR because I was constantly working on that stupid useless course (and I didnt even get the final drawing done and submitted before the one year deadline was up so that didnt help. And it was the one I was the most proud of too)
I am burned out and I want to make things for ME, things that absolutely cant go on a portfolio (extreme horror art, fan art, NSFW art, etc)
The amount of times in the past months I have talked myself out of drawing something that would make me happy because everything I make should be fit to go on a professional portfolio is extremely high.
I'm obviously gonna do the new commission and whatever else those two tell me to draw (but it better be more than 200 dollars, like at least 350 minimum) but I am so tired of this and I just wished my mom had asked me first before automatically telling her friend yes.
So would I be the asshole if I told her Im not doing any future commissions from her friends and that I want to just do art as a hobby and not as a career?
What are these acronyms?
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TMagP 013
Note: As Always, I am a backer so this was written 23 April, 2024 and scheduled to be posted on 25 April, 2024
oh god its another episodes written by Alex
awww thanks odin <3
Im dreading this
PRE STATEMENT/ CASE
OHHH DATE TIME
THE FLIRTING
This is so cute but i cant trust it because alex wrote it
"that you dont know how cute you are" adshfjagdhflakshdf
WERE STARTING WITH THE BIG STUFF
"hi im from an alternate universe"
CELIA IS A MOM
JACK IS HER BABY
"i had a while few years when I first moved here"
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO CELIA OR JACK I WILL RIOT
HOW DARE
SHES A SINGLE MOM
"that depends on your baggage. DISH"
"they were the first ones that didnt want me" oooooooo\
Alice's Parents are dead good to know
"most pathetic vague post shes ever scene"
"more wine" "please"
LENA OFFICE
GWEN MY POOR BABY
"is it my fault?"
MY POOR PRECIOUS GIRL
"were managing the bad guys" FUCK
CASE
this hold music is a BOP
i had to stop and have my friend explain public school in England to me because that is not the same thing as American public schools
oh lovely a "fiance guy"
a hedge fund guy what i mean is a hedge fund guy
Why in gods name, would you use experimental setting on a hedge fund/ investing app… when you have no idea what it does and it has a shit tone of disclaimers??? i get being desperate but that's just stupid
also the irony of this guy saying hes a good person when hes betting on people failing with hedge funds
do people even steal phones anymore?
i feel like they are not worth all that much and just have to many ways to tack them for it to be worth anything unless you are targeting someone specifically
yeah i figured they might have targeted him
im pretty sure this would qualify as inside trading somehow
betting against your own company and than tanking the company is very illegal
pretty sure betting you'll have a shit time and then making sure you have a shit time would be the same thing
basically this man is committing insurance fraud... but through a hedge fund
it just occurred to me hes calling from the hospital that's what the beeping is
also vertigo mentioned
he was attack by computer bugs lol
shitty "finance guy" gets whats coming to him asmr
post statement
okay i know sam probably mean "be professional" like stop with the flirting
BUT WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT I SOUND LIKE YALL HAVE BEEN HOOKING UP AFTER WORK SOMETIMES.
HAVE YALL BEEN HOOKING UP?
this is how i choose to interpret this this is my new head canon( it was already kinda my head canon)
But if you ever ask me to be professional again, I'm going to have to take a shit on your desk." ALICE
"you signed the official secrets act in your onboarding. And I know all your school friends say treason's 'bussin'' and 'fire', but it won't look good on your CV." i love her so much
"its fine when I say it"
this episode really said fuck capitalism didn't it
also do week need to talk about the fact that celia's son is named Jack Ripley like jack the ripper
WAIT A SECOND JACK IS A NICKNAME FOR JOHN/JON
DID SHE NAME HER SON AFTER JON?
#this show has me in a chokehold#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#the magnus protocol spoilers#gwen bouchard#celia ripley#tmapg#tmagp 13#jack ripley#alice#alice dyer#lena#restless reacts to tmagp#live#liveblog
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...
So my sister posted a super sarcastic comment for attention out of the blue in the group chat for the family and my husband messaged asking was it sarcasm because if it wasn't it was fine but it seemed bitter and angry
And my sister went ooofffffff in the group chat and I had a feeling it was because of me because I had ignored 3 messages from her but yeah my husband was like hey maybe just communicate and don't make comments like this and then she tri3d to back track saying she didn't mean it to be angry she was just overwhelmed and he was like ok maybe communicate better.
So he left it at that but then she started messaging him and went ooffffff on him about how she didn't mean it badly she just felt like I'm mad at her and she was having a hard time and she wanted to know and he was like I don't speak for my wife speak to her if you think she has an issue don't make passive aggressive attention seeking comments and theeennnnnn she did what she always does which is say she's suicidal actually and that she's been pushing it all down to support me because I'm going through so much (all of this is bullshit she hasn't helped me or spoken to me about my problems because she always smothers me, makes everything about her, uses any weakness I show against me the second I d9nt give her what I want and when I put up a boundary, claim she's suicidal) and she's really not doing well.
When my husband was like sorry to hear thst in that case seek professional help but don't make passive aggressive comments and then even though she confirmed it was sarcasm she claimed it wasn't and everything is hard over text because you can take things wrong, and when he was like but yoy literally confirmed it was sarcasm you just don't like the consequences she got mad and said he was treating her like a child. She sent over 40 messages including novel like paragraphs and every time my husband kept bringing it back to the point she kept claiming she is just suicidal and needs help and it's because I'm not talking to her enough and she's supporting me so hard. My husband sent like 7 messages. She deleted 6 messages before he could read them, probably because she was finally mad he wasn't letting her off without apologising and taking the suicide bait and finally stopped replying.
I'm so stressed for the fall out, somehow it was all because of me even though I didn't say or do anything, my little sister even said why don't you tell her you just need space and I said she would do exactly this if I did and she still did it anyway just to my husband and it was so weird because it was clear she meant the messages for me (my husband kept having to remind her, he isnt me and isnt speaking for me) and was expecting my empathy and placating, which my husband was not giving.
I'm just sick of her always claiming to be supporting me through everything when she never does, and is often my biggest bully. she's really emotionally incestuous with me and blows up if I put up boundaries and then claims she's suicidal and doesn't take any accountability and when you finally calmed her down she won't ever acknowledge her own behaviour was inappropriate. I just hate that she is always dragging others into it as well, this is her first time doing it with my husband but normally it's because I beg him not to engage but he was too mad this time because of how distressed it makes me and my little siblings don't get it because they don't know how bad her temper and viciousness can be because of all the work my mom and I have put in to get her to stop (shes a lot older than them and they werent alive/dont have working memory from then). She used to tell my other older sister with cancer she was glad her friends from the cancer ward died and she hoped my sister would die too and laugh at her when she was in pain from bone marrow transplants and steal all my pocket money and break and steal my stuff, destroy art projects I was really proud of and mock me to my friends and she would do or say anything to hurt you as deeply as possible just because you slightly annoyed her and she always repaints herself as the victim from back then simply because our dad was abusive but she was always abusive to everyone too and it didn't stop because he was forced to leave she just needed the help from me and my mom and we wouldn't put up with it or let her treat my nephew that way so she's learned to seem sweeter but I can't set any boundaries with her without her telling me she's going to kill herself and its my fault and actually what she said or did wasnt bad becasue shes just misunderstood and im taking her wrong. Ugh.
She's 35 by the way.
#tw family drama#ranr#personal#tw sucide mention#tw cancer mention#this is just a vent its rambly and doesnt make much sense
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ok honestly im kinda done w genshin atp, like the story is okay, the whitewashing tho is pissing me off tho, um idk, i like the game play, and also i gotta get to sneznaya or wtv when that comes out. and did u just not like the sumeru characters bc more of them are men.../j i still dont have yelan or arle very sad...they're like top 10 genshin characters for me, i was too broke to pull for them when they were running
ALSO that's not what i meant abt natasha, like as a character shes good and i like her, and her story is good, i dont dislike her, what i meant is that i cant be attracted to her, like idk...bc all the stuff u listed i should like her, so like idk. i dont skip story, i did her sq, so maybe it is just the fact that shes a doctor, like that was how she was presented at first and i just cant look past it ok... my mom was a doctor so i just cant...my mommy issues strike again, and i just dont rlly like doctors in general havent had good experiences w them before, so i cant be attracted to one...idk, like ik shes like way more than that. and i did get a few adds for her so its prob that as well that kind messed with my perception of her at the beginning, the only hsr adds i every got continously was kafkas trailer.
tbh i shouldve realized i liked women when i saw kafka dragging her fingers across a wall wish i was that wall with like her voice in the background and that was what made me decide to play the game. they know what they're doing...
speaking of which i got her other two messages, shes ridiculous, like i cant believe she can just go to a movie theater like that, and her checking up on you...i did scream. shes pathetic... honestly her being into phycological thrillers makes sm sense, so she was def seeing one of those. and i think shes exposing herself bc of both of the reasons you listed (also like it being on a burner acc incase she gets rejected...i obviously wasnt mean to her tho).
honestly im just shy sat okay...thats why im an anon, but it is funny, since we're all reading ur smut, and thirsting over everyone together.
i did sleep i promise, i dont really like taking medicine, again doctor stuff, but i'll been taking some melatonin bc last night it took be 3 and a half hours to sleep and ive been drinking tea and stuff, but ill be going to sleep after this. wish me luck.
-🌠
i also wanted to last until snezhnaya like i remember a few years ago when the first fatui trailer dropped after inazuma and my entire timeline went crazyyyy, people who didn’t play the game anymore got back into it just for the fatui like they really united everyone… but since the characters and stories dont do anything for me now i personally never feel like playing. and yes i actually was so bored with sumeru because im not interested in men at all dhfjgkgk but also the whitewashing there pissed me off and how they nerfed dehya and made her a horrible standard character was so annoying like i didnt pull for a single sumeru character 😭 arle/yelan is an insane duo, my yelan is great cause shes been my main for years so she doesn’t need anyone but adding arle is just cheating fr. look at my favs beefing (clorinde was there for the friendship points😪)
i thought you disliked nat because you said your friend thought you disliked her bc she was a doctor, but it makes sense if you’ve had bad experiences with healthcare professionals and are reminded of them when you see doctors. personally i love when people who work in healthcare actually care about the patients they have because it’s quite literally life saving and sooo many of them dont give a fuck, that’s why i adore natasha a lot. it’s totally fine if you’re not attracted to her, you don’t have to be!
kafka’s trailer changed my brain chemistry and i can recite it by heart from how often ive watched it. they definitely knew what they were doing especially with these shots like can i please be that guy… i’ll take the bullet too idgaf. AND YES THE MOVIE THEATER SHES SUCH A LOSERRR, THE “my life is an action movie btw lol haha” when the tb says they like action films is so ridiculous. i need to look up her other answers but when she said the action movies lacked immersion i pat myself on the back for writing that she likes psychological thrillers over horror or any other genre like i know her for real… im literally inside her head.
im glad youre sleeping even if it takes a little while!! hopefully your internal clock stops messing woth you and allows you to get some good rest
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no idea why u’d know better than i do but i’m thinking about changing my name to october or morte (french for death my mom does not like this one Lol) and i need a second opinion like my friends are too broadly supportive 4 me to trust them i guess
idk like i’m getting it legally changed soon (tboy reasons) and i’m just not sure it’s just a white boy name i chose really quickly after coming out rn i dunno im just torn
sorry if this is weird to ask i guess i’m asking cuz ur name is cool and you seem worldly and like honest :/
hope ur having like a nice day sorry again lol
dont be sorry!!! first of all congrats thats super exciting <3 i think both of those are really awesome tbh if i met someone with either of those names first thought Would be oh fucking cool. i think that whatever you do the first most important thing is that youre happy with it! i hate to say this also but realistically think a bit about your chosen field as well and weigh the benefits of sickass name like october against that being your name professionally (in some cases that might not matter ie if youre going into any creative field! and ideally it wouldnt matter for any fields and i hate to be like ohhhh appease Society but its worth thinking about for yr success n safety ! ). i think morte is more of a Name name because it would be said like mort which is i think an established name (derivative of mordecai or morton in some cases?). but october is very very cool and you could always shorten that to like. oc or toby or something else if you also wanted to have a more simple and “normal” sounding shorthand name.
BUT this all being said. you can always have your new legal name be whatever white boy name you chose as long as you like it, and still have october or morte as a nickname! i get that it might feel like a copout, but lots of cis people have fun nicknames like that too, so its very normal, yk. at the end of the day its all about your comfort and what will help you thrive so just try to listen to yourself and feel out what it will be like to live in that name for five, ten, fifty years. AND remember you can change it again, legally or not, so nothing is forever and if it changes later thats fine too! this is just the first hurdle: to get rid of a name you never chose and replace it with one you did, which will be better no matter which one you opt for right now
#sorry if this isnt helpful! im also very supportive i fear <3#kora.txt#asks#anons#one of the bad 2000s horror movies i rlly like has a character named october!
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Hi lovely children im back(I'm 49 so i can say dat) I'm the saturn return ask lady i was busy so I didn't send asks anywho.
I got allat to say neow but who dis ✌️anon and why are you and her so gud at astrology,we vets be feeling threatened by you gurls I'm proud of both of you what's great is dat you both and my observations about his chart and his wifey's chart are veryyyy similar.you both got some telepathic connection or smth cause you both be relating a bit tew much sometimes and i kinda like it.I loved both of your tarot readings about jk and his love it makes tew much sense with the astro obs and analysis about his chart.The new rumour bout his "lover" aint true,ma kid is anxious bout his new chapter in life and he dont wanna add no more drama to it so he just be focusing on himself and trust me this kid has already started changing for da better,he is aligning himself real gud to reach his highest self and his wife,she be doing the same too.
I saw a video bout him saying dat in a world where love doesn't exist,he still be falling in love when he sees the lead actress because he starts getting strange feelings when he sees her,this ma children sums up their meeting like our lovely uyu said.
There is alata love in his heart for her already and dat shi cute af.I'm saying this because he actually already knows more than a bit bout her and might go to professionals to know more🫣 bout her and his future too.
Oh bye baby i gotta go I'll come back later sometime.
Loooooottttttttsss of love and support to you.astro mama is proud of you(also the ✌️girlie) continue being fabulous😘😘
~astro mom.
Thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️
- uyu
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a little something i wrote at 3 am
for context, noel is my oc who is part of the strawhats. she was part of the group that went to zou first but chased after sanji on her own when bege took him. i could provide more details about her but i really wanted to post this somewhere first. she's 310 cm, just a few cms taller than jinbei. at this part of the story, she's been katakuri's prisoner for three days. the reason why she's not in jail is cause she had earned big mom's interest AND once did a jail break that caused chaos in komugi island. "why do u cover ur mouth when others are around." he stays silent, he wasnt just gonna show vulnerability to a stranger
"but youre fine showing it to me"
that, however, he can answer. "you dont seem to mind."
"fair enough" she says, mouth full of cookies before pausing to wash it down with tea. "but i don't see why anyone should."
if this was any day before this, he wouldn't even have thoughts of entertaining her questions but it's been three days since they've met. Whether he liked it or not, katakuri had already unconsciously figured out that she wasn't the villain he had initially judged her to be.
whether he trusted her or not, he wasn't sure but upon a little bit of pondering, he concluded that opening up to a stranger wouldn't be that bad. Especially when said stranger was an enemy who had no credibility for anyone in his community to believe in. "it's unusual. nobody around except for fishmen have a mouth like mine. not even my brothers."
"well yeah i have seen sharp teeth before but not mouth as wide as yours." she props herself on her elbows to lean forward as if trying to take a closer look. "and to think only you have it among fraternal triplets. it must be a rare phenotype."
instinctively, he scoots away from her gaze and he would've taken offense, if not for the sheer lack of malice in her voice. it was pure curiosity-- whether it be the sparkle in her eyes or the slight smile on her lips, he couldn't look away. as much as she was observing him, he couldn't help but observe her too.
"mind if i take a closer look?" he saw the question coming and yet surprise and dread still filled him as her words registered in his brain. "i wanna sketch it for future reference."
he must've made a face because her curiosity was quick to shift into concern.
"oh" she sheepishly smiles, "my bad, i guess i'm being too much.
and just after he had just resolved himself to open up to her— he seriously needs to have more self control. he was slacking off a lot today.
after closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he steeled himself enough for another shot.
"It's fine." He settles himself supine on the couch, head elevated by the armrest. "Go ahead."
"no, no, you dont have to—"
"this'll be the only chance I'll give you"
as if a dog who had been told to fetch the treat, she hurriedly scurries to kneel by his side. She was hovering over his face, too close for his comfort but he'd rather get it over with than complain.
"can i touch you?" her voice was mindfully more quiet than the usual, making his head buzz unusually in response.
"yes" he manages to answer in an almost incomprehensible grumble. at this point, he was having a difficult time keeping a linear trail of thought. it was impossible to when she was even worse up close. her eyes, her nose, her lips. just when he thought he had done his best to keep his feelings at bay, he found himself in a struggle to keep himself still under her extremely close gaze./
despite his overwhelming crisis, she unknowingly and professionally examines his mouth. making sure to check every nook and cranny, her hands naively settle on his jaw and cheeks, moving them to her own desire.
"your incisors are longer than the rest, does that hinder you in any way?" she looked up at him and realized that her question had gone unheard.
noel didn't know why but the moment her eyes met his dazed gaze, she forgot where she was. noel was a virgin but she wasn't an idiot. she's seen that look before. in movies, in bars, in parties. she's seen people give that look to anyone but her. as they should. she wasn't someone worthy of receiving such feelings and for a long time, she knew she wasn't gonna receive any of that at all.
want? love? lust? foreign yet familiar, the feeling unsettled her mind yet stirred her poorly fettered desires to burn like never before. her heart swelled in anticipation and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered in anxiety.
was she even right? isn't she just jumping into conclusions?
as if responding to her intensifying dilemma, her hand unconsciously caresses the line of his jaw causing his eyes flinch and narrow. he was always so nonchalant and yet, at this very moment— even as he wore his calm facade, she found her answer in his steely gaze.
"can i kiss you?" she finally breathes out.
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I refuse to go to professionals because I've had a bad experience with a counselor already...but also I'm afraid of what happens if I *was* diagnosed with something... especially something stigmatized.
Also misdiagnoses too
UR SO REAL!!! few years ago i had a psychiatrist that seemed like she didnt believe a word i said and just seemed bored during the appointment also when i tried to talk abt smthn specific she literally told me off because thats something i should "tell a therapist not a psychiatrist". mind u ive never spoken to a therapist or a psychiatrist in my life before that visit i had no clue what the difference even was at the time. and its like okay girl i am 14 years old and i dont know whats happening you could at least pretend u care i am breaking down crying in front of u now because u made my stress worse. now it sucks for everyone even more.
also i just have very bad anxiety in general especially for like doctors and stuff idek why but hospitals especially terrify me... like rn im getting some stuff done to check out my knees and i am still going to the doctor with my mom. she goes with me to the dentist too i CANNOT go alone its too scary i will literally crumble and cry [also my mom knows way more about family and/or my medical history anyway so she will know how to answer if the ask anything like that which i stress about a lot too]
so yeah i get it. this is why i dont get my stuff checked out untill it gets bad enough that i physically and/or mentally cant Just Ignore It
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i have occassional bouts of catatonia (akinetic and excited) and i've never really met anyone else with it. would you be interested in talking more about what's it's been like for you?
if not, then i hope you have a good day/night regardless. also i love your blog. it's comforting and informative ^_^
aw thank you! and yay i love hearing about people with lived experience of catatonia cause its so hard to find people talk about what it feels like so im happy to share!
so all but one of my catatonic experiences happened before i was diagnosed or medicated for schizophrenia, and was a teenager, and was living with my immigrant mom who has very little understanding of schizophrenia (besides her horrible father) so she legit didnt know what to do with me at these times. i dont blame her for not knowing but this is just a disclaimer as to why she handled certain things the way she did.
there were a few times (maybe around 10) where i was left alone, saw a bunch of hallucinations and then conciously "woke up" (usually i was hiding under a table) to my mom yelling at me to move. and then i was just stuck. i couldnt move at all even tho i wanted to and was told to. she was usually freaking out herself and super worried about me. she thought i was "faking it" and would demand that i stop. obviously this didnt help my situation at all, all i wanted was to move and show her i could atleast act okay, but i couldnt. i would usually black out what had led up to me hiding under the table so i couldnt even explain this if i wanted to. i dont really remember how all of these situations resolved, just that it was very stressful and i would try to move any lil muscle but couldnt. i dont really know what would help in these situations, just that she probably shouldve gotten me professional help.
another memorable moment of catatonia for me kinda is hard for me to personally destinguish from some sort of dissociation just because i was in and out of conciousness. but what i do remember was me being in the passengers seat while my mom was driving and kinda bashing around and yelling and feeling like i had no control over those actions. my mom, being scared that i would hurt myself or her, couldnt think of anything to help besides forcing sleeping pills down my throat, which eventually knocked me out. in that moment i think i shouldve been taken to a hospital.
the most recent time ive experienced catatonia is the one i remember most clearly because i was already diagnosed at the time and on antipsychotics. i wasnt home alone, but i was alone in the room i was in. i dont rememeber what led up to it but i had a panic attack that left me sitting strangley on the floor. from there my breathing suddenly slowed down and i couldnt move at all. i felt compeltely stuck no matter what i did. i wanted to move so badly, i wanted to yell to the other people in the house to help me, but i couldnt. i felt stiff and uncomfortable, and in the moment it felt like id be stuck like that forever. after some time that felt very long had passed, and i had attempted to move every muscle i had, i was able to bend my elbow. so i did that over and over to try to get someones attention but it didnt work. i probably looked so "out of it" like i had drool and snot hanging down and was bending my elbow and extending it nonstop but i was fully aware of what i was doing and how i looked, i just couldnt do anything about it. after more time had passed i started moving my fingers and toes and everything else came after that. idk what wouldve helped in this situation since it did pass eventually, maybe just someone there to be with me and tell me it was going to be okay.
im no expert on catatonia i just have my experiences. its generally said that you should make sure the persons airways are clear and that they are in a confortable position and not close to any dangerous objects. its also said that you should take the person to the hospital, and for me i dont think thats needed. id just like someone i trust to be there and tell me its okay, to time it to see if it lasts longer than an hour than i should go to a hospital, and maybe try to move my limbs around to see if that would help.
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