#this doesnt cover everything but just something i wanted to explain

[walnutcookie]

good day fellow rodger fan, i rlly love your art it gives me whimsy and joy. do you have any headcanons ab him and glisten, perhaps toodles as well? (family dynamics my beloved actually) if not either way i think your stuff is still so rad.

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! <333 WEEPS TEARS OF JOY.... i do have some headcanons hehehe... in no particular order/organization heres some of my thoughts on them:

- Rodger is a sleepwalker. Very Embarrassed by it.

- Toodles really enjoys drawing !!! She likes to draw with the other toons a lot (especially glisten, but he usually just watches her and then treats her art like the mona lisa so she feels good about herself)

- rodgers reaction to any sort of physical affection is really funny because he doesnt know how to react. He wants to keep his awesome and mysterious persona but also he doesnt want to be rude or anything. does he reciprocate? does he try to get away before it happens??? does he say something or does he keep quiet? Usually it just results in him freezing up and going stiff

- also adding onto above he tends to be paranoid about peoples intentions. bro gets a hug from goob and freezes and hes thinking "is this an attempt to console me does he think im mentally unwell or is he trying to find my weaknesses so he can kill me"

- in general rodger can be a very paranoid person and starts panicking at the slightest threat but hes pretty good at stopping to think and clearing his head. Logically he knows goob wouldnt kill him and doesnt know his secrets but it is a thought that pops up in his head for a brief moment

- toodles is always very quick to jump in and try to help whenever someone is upset. She wants to help people as best she can so ofc she would but the problem is that shes never sure what to say to cheer people up :'] she tries parroting some of the things rodger has told her when she was sad but also from her experience it never works so she tries to distract people instead most of the time. it makes her feel really guilty whenever she doenst try to help or if she fails to make them feel any better

- Toodles is very close with teagan!! teagan is like her fun uncle :] they take care of toodles sometimes if rodger is busy (or cough missing). Tea parties galore!!!!

- glisten is romo-repulsed i know this in my heart ok. [i know ive drawn him doing romantic things i cant explain the nuances to this in a cohesive way im just projecting ontohim as a romo repulsed person in a relationship]

- Glisten is definitely introverted but not in the "ohh hes shy and hates people" way hes just drained when he talks to people even if he likes talking to people. He needs to take breaks from socializing a lot to recharge his social battery especially since hes always so worried about what people think of him but he also dies if hes alone too long

- toodles is actually VERY fascinated with bugs if theres an ant or a beetle or a roach or something in the facility shes gonna beg to keep it and make a house for it so she can "give it a better life" (glisten will not scream or freak out but there WILL be visible discomfort on his face and he will avoid that bug like the plague)

- rodger smokes cigarettes . He knows which employee(s) carry them around and will snatch one from their pocket at the right moment when nobody is looking... he tries covering his tracks and flushing everything down the toilet and covering up the smell but ofc he gets found out when theres a clog LOL.

- There was also suspicion when toodles started pretend-smoking and saying she was doing the thing that rodger did but most everyone else just assumed it was toodles being a silly little kid

okie dokieee thats all ill do for now !!! Thank you so much for this ask GAUH im so happy people are interested in my hcs for them n stuff 🥹

[triglycercule]

give me more horrorkiller content i say as i proceed to post solely about full mtt/mttpoly. i cant I CANT i cant just SOLELY post about one of the duos...... i cant JUST post about 2/3 of them it upsets me. everything MUST be in a trio of else i merge into my bed and rip my skin off when i try to get up

[sixstepsaway]

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[feelo-fick]

thanks for tagging YIPPEE

took maybe a little too much time considering which ones to use (<- loves icebreakers like this) HUEHSUAHE

@floralstorms @eddie-roo and anyone else whod like to join!!

Another Tag Game!

Post 9 pictures from your phone to describe yourself, then tag 9 people.

Thank you to @hawthornsword for the tag!

No-pressure tagging: @norcumii, @darthlivion, @madamtrashbat, @hjbender, @lazaefair, @bolithesenate, @boxonthenile, @trudemaethien, @mandalorianbrainweasel, and anyone who wants to play!

[smute]

random hill to die on and i could honestly make a 3 hour viddy essay about this but here's the short version: "save some pasta water for binding your sauce" is probably one of the most misunderstood cooking tips ever. yes, its an old trick and yes, its something that can be helpful under very specific circumstances but at this point almost every pasta recipe i come across seems to mention some variation of it and in most cases it's complete nonsense.

firstable, let me explain where it doesnt work: adding pasta water to a random sauce (tomato for instance) will not make it thicker. whatever miniscule amount of starch you're gonna have in there wont make a difference when you're also adding ladlefuls of water at the same time. its pasta water not cornstarch slurry. and thats not something you want in your tomato sauce anyway. tomato paste is an excellent emulsifier all on its own (along with egg yolks, mustard, butter, cream, milk, and many other dairy products) so in order to thicken a tomato-based sauce you have exactly two options: evaporation or more tomato paste, which basically amounts to the same thing: less water, more everything else.

pasta water on the other hand can be useful for diluting a sauce (tomato or otherwise) that has been cooked down too much. while adding wine or juices (or just plain water) for deglazing makes sense at the beginning of the cooking process, watery things added to an almost finished sauce will simply... water it down (duh) and (in the case of wine, vinegar, etc) introduce unwanted raw flavors. there's also a good chance that cold liquids won't mix well with the sauce and ruin the consistency. for this, broth works very well, but pasta water would be a more neutral option flavor-wise. the salt and temperature honestly make the biggest difference here. plus, pasta water is something you're probably gonna have on hand anyway as you will likely be boiling your pasta shortly before serving.

the same goes for loosening any other emulsion, like an emulsified butter sauce or carbonara for example. this shouldn't be necessary but if your egg and cheese mixture clings to the pasta a little too much and everything just clumps together, a small (!!!) amount of pasta water can help the sauce reach a creamier consistency without diluting the overall flavor too much.

however. the Pasta Water Trick (TM) that everyone talks about but so few recipes seem to get right goes like this: you finish cooking your pasta in the sauce and you also add a little bit of pasta water to that mixture. a single cooked spaghetto will probably yield more starch than an entire cup of pasta water, and cooking your starchy pasta for a minute (or just tossing it) in the finished sauce will make a huge difference for the consistency. that alone can be enough, you can stop right there. but now you run the risk of binding too much liquid. this is where the pasta water comes in. it's hot, salty, starchy, and it's right there on the stove, so it's perfect for making sure your sauce doesn't disappear completely. THATS ALL

btw. all of this works a lot better with fresh pasta and a lower water to pasta ratio. fresh pasta gives off more starch than dried pasta, and it works even better with homemade pasta that's still covered in flour. the cloudier the water the better.

in any case, pasta water = a little bit of starch + a whole lot of water (and salt). thats why it only makes sense to use it in situations where you need both the starch AND the extra liquid (and salt) or if you know that you'll evaporate most of it later on. think of pasta water as a better alternative to cold water or as something that you can use when you dont have any other cooking liquids on hand. and always keep the salt in mind.

tl;dr: pasta water can be a useful tool for emulsification but if anything it's a thinning agent rather than a thickening agent.

[lillyspeakz]

Can we get werewolfbur struggling to figure out how to hide himself away so he doesnt hurt someone?

I love myself some werewolfbur…..

Also I’m so sorry, this is basically all plot with very little dialogue-

tw// make-out, angst, hurt comfort, fluff, Wilbur and reader being funny (I think)

-

He knew how people saw his kind. Mean, aggressive, vicious. For centuries they’ve been hunted and killed for things that weren’t their fault, yet who they were made people question it all. They were pinned for blame on every murder that happened in town, being named the “killer dogs”. Wilbur grew up being cautious, things have dialed down a bit since he’s been a kid, yet you never knew who you were going to meet and who knew what.

But, when Wilbur met you, there was a slight moment when he forgot about everyone else, their thoughts about him and his family, and only focused on you. His eyes becoming wide and dilated as he took you in, admiring your smile as you sat next to him, introducing yourself with a bubbly atmosphere. He never understood how quick you befriended him, why you befriended him. He was shy, quiet, the weird kid if you will. Yet you, you took his hand and stood next to him in everything.

As you both continued to grow up, graduating together and getting a shared apartment, you and Wilbur started to get… closer. Closer then what friends should be, and you both knew that. Yet you didn’t complain, rather taking the situation slow and taking strides together.

Random cuddles on the couch, dinner dates, going to each others room when not being able to sleep, dancing in the kitchen. More and more things were happening to your relationship, as more and more things were happening to Wilbur.

He was developing quicker, he became stronger, his urges got easier to resist yet he couldn’t put it off for long. He was becoming something he always feared. With all the stress and confusion and anxiety mixed with love and passion and want….. he eventually snapped.

And not in a mean way or deadly way, but he hid. He didn’t know what to do, so he hid. Away from you, away from his family, away from everyone in the middle of the god forsaken woods where he thought he belong. No, where he knew he belonged. He was going to hurt you one day, or hurt the people around him and he would suffer the consequences and live with that guilt. And he couldn’t- he didn’t want to live with that ache.

You saw the change in Wilbur; his body muscles looked toner, his mood changed dramatically and he became more possessive over everything. Especially you. You knew he was a werewolf, you accidentally found out when you walked in on him naked in the shared bathroom, rubbing dirt off of his face the best he could. The conversation was awkward after, having seen him butt ass naked with dirt covering all of his body, and him not knowing how to explain this to you.

But you weren’t afraid of him like he thought you would be. You almost felt more… protected. Like if you needed help, Wilbur was the person to call. You took the new information and stored it, so for the next time he did transform, you were there to help draw him a warm bath and make him some tea.

But when he had quickly told you he was going out, he never came back. No text, no call, nothing. Just silence filling an empty house. Every time you texted him or called, nothing would go through. Like he damaged his phone.

It was only two days later that you got tired of waiting, rushing over to his parents house, knocking on the door as you played with your hands.

“Hi honey! What’s going on? Where’s Wil?” His mom asked as you rushed inside when she stood to the side. You quickly went to the kitchen and sat down at the dinner table, your leg bouncing in nervousness and stress as you figured out what to say.

Your thoughts were interrupted as a hand was placed on yours. Your eyes darted up and found a warm smile on her face, gentle eyes silently asking you to tell her what was happening.

“It’s Wilbur. I don’t- he’s been acting weird lately and he just left. He hasn’t been back in a couple days and I’m so worried. What if it’s too late and something happened? I know he’s been worried about hurting me when he’s fully grown into everything an-“

“Darling. It’s all ok. Take a deep breath real quick, good job. I’m not supposed to be telling you this because I promised him I would be quiet but, you deserve some answers.” She finished as she nudged her head towards the woods the house stood outside of. Looking at her with furrowed eyebrows, hesitant about going, she nodded at you with a smile. You got up and opened the back door as she watched you walk into the dark greenery, her head snapping behind her as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“She’s a good one.” Wil’s father declares as his mother placed her own over his hand, interlocking them as she did.

“Yeah she is. I just hope he sees that.”

-

As you walked deeper into the woods, the sky becoming darker and the trees getting closer, you saw a flicker of light in the distance. You slowly walked over to the source, stepping over a small creek as you found the man himself.

He looked rough. Bags under his eyes as he threw rocks and sticks into the fire. His back was against a rock as a blanket wrapped around his body. There was a small cabin like house behind him, which you guessed that’s where he’s been cooped up.

As you walked closer, silently to not startle him, hiding behind a tree as you watch him in the moment, grateful for his mother and grateful he’s alive-

“Don’t try to hide love. You should know that I could smell you from a mile away.” He turned his head towards you, your head peaking out as you nervously smiled at him and stepped out. “I see mother dearest ruined my hiding spot-“

“Well I came here first so don’t blame her.” You quickly defended the women as he smiled at you, making you aware that he knew. “Stalking me much?”

“No.. more like you’re loud when you talk and your stomps against the leaves didn’t help.” Wilbur teased you as he smirked at your gapped mouth.

“Fuck you! I was quiet as can be mister ‘I have super hearing’” you jokes back as he laughed at your statement. It felt nice, to laugh with him again. To be in his space and see him ok, all worry draining from you as you sat next to you once he patted the space. “Why’d you leave? Wil- you left and didn’t come back! I thought you were-“

“Baby, you know why I left. I know you do.” Wilbur whispered towards you as he grabbed your hand in his. “I’m not happy your here right now either, you shouldn’t me near me-“

“Wilbur! I have told you this, you won’t hurt me. I know you won’t. And if you tried, it’s ok. We’ll work on it. That’s what I’m here for, don’t leave me out of this, ok? I signed up for this, now I do my part.” You told the man, tears filling his eyes as you exposed everything about him that made him scared of himself.

Hurting you was the last thing he wanted to do, and the stories he read didn’t help his thoughts. The tragic tales of his kind killing and hurting people, and he knew that was before they all learned how to control and be one with everyone, but he also knew there was a possibility that he could do something.

“I’m scared of myself. How can you be so sure that i won’t do anything when I don’t trust myself? I just- fuck.. why did this happen to me?!” Wilbur cried desperately as you brought him into your chest, holding him and cooing at him the best you could in his state.

“Wil listen. I trust you because you’re still the Wilbur I fell in love with. No matter what transformations you have, no matter what happens, you are still Wil. That shy kid in the back of the class that no one knew, until I had the greatest idea ever to sit next to and talk to. If that isn’t enough to trust yourself, i don’t know what is.” You’re words came out as a whisper, keeping the conversation between the two of you, making sure other creatures of the night weren’t eavesdropping.

Wilbur sat up from your hold, hands slipping to cup his face as you took him in. Brown eyes blown out in confusion yet love. His body slowly relaxing as you wiped away his tears. Your touch electric against his skin as he shifted closer to you. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing, but the next thing he knew his lips were on yours in a slow kiss. The kiss was full of love and far too much passion to let it go ignored. Gasps and groans were exchanged into each others mouths as your hands ran through his hair and his own exploring your body.

The kiss quickly heated up, you back now against the rock as Wilbur slotted himself in between your legs. You pulled away slightly, Wilbur’s lips chasing yours as you giggled at his whines, playing with his strands as you did.

“Come home.” It wasn’t an ask, it was a demand. A simple demand that Wilbur would soon follow, but for now-

“Always, but after this…”

taglist; @number1wilburfan @cloverlilly91 @horny-p0et @charlidog @lizziehatters-teacards @rottenr0ckets (lowkey just added random people- if you want to be added, dm or comment!)

[blkkizzat]

Hi you’re such an amazing writer and great smut writer!! I was wondering if u had any tips on writing smut cus I wanna start writing it too! Do u have tips on dialogue/action/pacing and being descriptive 😭 it’s harder than it looks!! Ps your suguru bumpy car ride is one of my fave fics!! And I’m excited for sadako!geto 😘😘

hey nonny, pookie tysm ur too sweet! im so glad you enjoy my perversions enough to ask me for advice kcjhdscjkhsdb 😩🩷🙏🏽✨

also sure idk if these will be helpful but these are things that help me:

smut:

i think the cardinal rule of smut writing is if it doesn't make you horny, re-write it until it does. lol.

i am a very visual person so i like to close my eyes and imagine the scene before i write it. not just going through the motions either. if this is me, reader, what am i thinking, feeling (both physically and emotionally).

5 senses (touch, taste, smell, sound, sight) should be covered. not every action needs all 5 but if you are describing something you should at least be hitting two of these. " tears falling, you cry out as he enters you slowly" is fine but "blinking away tears you hiss from the overwhelming stretch of his girth entering you, even slowly, proves to be too much" is better.

sometimes i need a boost and if you partake then a few puffs from a weed pen or a glass of wine (im partial to bubbly) will put you in the MOOD lmfao.

*note i dont think you need to have experienced something to write about it, sex included for any virgins however in lieu of that, with anything you don't have experience in, you need to do research to make it believable.

dialogue:

use dialogue to tell us/reiterate who the character is. you can tell us the character is nervous but then its highlighted by the stuttering, rambling, etc of their spoken words.

break up long dialogue with descriptions. this is also a pacing tip. also can insert memories, i will have readers have a whole dialogue and in the middle their will be a relevant memory to give context and insight to the character and their motivations.

using subtext to explain character feelings, you dont have to be so explicit with dialogue all the time. instead of a character saying "im so fucking mad at you right now," use "alright" your voice is clipped, flipping your hair over your shoulder you go back to your task at hand, not even sparing them another glance.

i rarely use explicit dialogue tags now like "said, spoke, cried, yell" i will still use them but ill weave into the description that follows. ex instead of "please stay!" you cried—i would write—"please stay!" your lip quivers as tears gathered on your lashes.

action:

the last subtext tip also helps with action too, alot of times its what we see that really enriches the dialogue so "show" dont "tell".

this is also a pacing tip but during high action/intense scenes using shorter sentences helps express the urgency. although it all depends as long sentences/paragraphs too can help build tension, slowing down descriptions/actions during the climax (lol non sexual) of a scene builds anxiety/thrill.

explaining emotional reactions of heart racing, sweaty palms, etc, is just as important as physical reactions (even tho these are physiological actions they still are emotion driven).

pacing:

besides the pacing tips above in the other sections i think the biggest pacing issue i think people have is adding in details, actions, etc that don't inform your story. everything action/thought you take time to elaborate on that your character does, should be relevant to their motivations, story or characterizations. if it doesnt apply to one of those then cut it out. (note: sometimes it does apply and needs to be cut out and moved another section if its making a scene go on to long)

edit your stories, i know some people post and go and thats fine. everyone has different goals. some just want to get out thoughts and go. however, pacing can be hard to effectively capture on the first go so you will need to reread at least once to ensure your fic is properly paced.

editing leads into eliminating redundancy. often i will write something where i expressed an emotion/feeling then did it again a paragraph or two down the line just in a different way. unless that feeling is evolving, its redundant. redundant doesnt mean the feeling isnt applicable in both places, it means ive already established this feeling/state of mind in my story and it isnt needed both places. this can be one of the hardest things to identify or even fix. however i think my fics are 100x better when i do.

descriptive:

i think people fall into one of these buckets, 1) having the inclination of being overly wordy descriptive or 2)not being descriptive enough. i am the former, so my issuing is editing is pulling back and giving emphasis on somethings but not others. if you arent descriptive enough you will have to decide where in your story its important to give emphasis.

use metaphors that make sense to the person speaking or narration style. you wouldnt use overly flowery language for example if you were writing how sukuna is feeling about something lol.

hope these tips were helpful!

[cupoftaae]

Still Perfect (JK Drabble)

Summary- Your mind is playing evil tricks on you again, and the only one who can bring you back down to earth is your husband, the one you are ashamed to admit everything to.

Warnings- swearing, minor angst, they are in luv its cute, mentions of depression (reader), mentions of medications. 18+

Enjoy <3

"Baby...I'm gonna take Gia outside to test the new swing I put up, do you wanna come?" Jungkook whispered, his hand on your back as you laid in the dark bedroom at 2 in the afternoon.

You sighed, looking up at your husbands face, "I want to but I just...Im so tired"

He nodded sadly, "okay...thats okay you dont have to, I'll take pictures?"

"yes please" you smile weakly

"mama!! mama! lets go outside!" Your 3 year old, Gia, runs into the room and stands beside your bed.

Jungkook was quick to pick her up into his arms, squeezing her, "mama isnt feeling too good right now, shes gotta rest." he whispered

"again?" your daughter pouted, her big eyes looking down at you- and with single glance, your heart was broken into 5 million pieces.

Jungkook frowned, "hey, sometimes adults get tired, its okay, we will go have fun in the backyard and you can see mama later? wave bye bye" he held her small hand up and waved for her as he began to leave the room, mouthing a soft "love you" in your direction before the door shut.

with that, the tears began to flow.

Your depression struggles have always found a way into your family, when you were dating jungkook you spent so much time explaining that sometimes you just cant function, and he was the first boyfriend you had that understood and didnt make you feel like a piece of shit for struggling with something out of your control.

It was nice, but then the fears that he would leave set in.

He always tries his best to make sure you feel loved and appreciated, when he proposed, he took you to Italy for 3 weeks just to be alone with you.

And your wedding was no different either.

He made sure you felt beautiful the way you were, showing you off at any chance he could, and even stepping away from the after party with you for a bit when things got overwhelming.

Many emotions were experienced when you became pregnant after 3 months of marriage. The guilt in believing you werent a good mother, the guilt for not having enough energy to eat most days even though you knew it wasnt just about/for yourself.

The self neglect was the worst part, and if jungkook had not been there to help you through all of the ugly, you dont know what you would have done.

You love him so much and the thought that maybe he doesnt feel that from you is terrifying, the thought that your daughter is only 3 and is already catching onto her mothers odd behavior is alarming.

Gia sees her friends moms play with them, she goes over to her cousins house and plays with their mom, why doesnt her own mom have that energy?

The tears seeped into the silk pillows as you squeezed your eyes shut.

This was how it often was for you: no emotion at all, or sadness. thats it, since you were 13.

No amount of doctor visits or therapy could fix you, and now you were letting it ruin your family.

-

A bit after Jungkook brought Gia inside, she fell asleep on the couch in the living room.

He smiled and took a photo of her small bundled up body laying on the cushion before making his way upstairs to show you.

"honey, you awake?" he mumbled, sliding open the door and walking in.

You were facing the opposite wall, feeling absolutely numb.

"baby" he smiled, kissing your forehead, "you okay? you wanna see the videos of gia?"

You tried to open your mouth to talk but nothing came out, instead your eyes teared up again and you turned your face further into the pillow to hide.

He frowned, putting his phone away as he climbed under the covers with you, his larger body spooning against yours. "sweetheart, whats going on?" his hand brought you closer

"I dont know" you whispered quietly

"just not doing good again?" he questioned, hand rubbing your side softly to soothe you.

You nod, unable to talk.

"im here for you, did you take your medication?"

"no.."

"okay well lets do that now so we dont forget, okay?" he sat up and pulled open your nightstand drawer, taking the pill you take daily and handing it to you alongside a water bottle.

You gently sat up and leaned against the headboard, taking the pill.

"where is she?" you asked quietly, teary eyes catching to kooks in the dimly lit bedroom.

"she passed out on the couch downstairs, bam is laying with her" he smiled, finding a cozy spot beside you again.

"am I a bad mom?" you question, watching his face contort

"what? why would you ask me that? of course you arent"

"jungkook I havent been able to leave the room for 2 days, this isnt normal....she misses me, she needs her mommy and im failing her" your voice cracked slightly as jungkook immediately brought you into his arms, caging you against him.

"dont talk like that, you are such an amazing woman, y/n. I would have never married you otherwise. You are so fucking strong and you cant let yourself fall into this dark space, you are struggling, yes, but we take it step by step, just like we've always done." he rubs your back as he speaks, "and Gia doesnt feel left out, she would not stop talking about you the entire time we were outside. Dont tell her I told you but she picked a bunch of 'flowers' for you" he giggled, "I didnt have the heart to tell her they were just weeds"

You allow yourself to laugh softly, leaning into your husbands embrace.

"you are doing so well....so incredibly well baby. I know life isnt always fair but we cant blame ourselves, we have to pick up what we have learned and move on as stronger people."

You nod, looking at him as he wipes the tear on your cheek.

"my beautiful girl, I love you so much, you know that?"

You smile sadly, "I love you too"

"can I take you downstairs and we can cuddle on the couch? I'll cook for you, you havent eaten in hours"

"okay" you sniff, allowing jungkook to help you up and keep a blanket wrapped around your body.

-

"mommy!"

Gia's toothless smile greeted you as you came downstairs, Bam laying on her protectively.

"Hi baby" you waved and walked over, sitting onto the couch and letting her crawl into your lap. "I missed you sweetheart, oh- your overalls are backwards" you giggled softly

Jungkook blushed as he sat on the other side of you, sharing a funny glance with his daughter.

"daddy dress me" she whispered

"I can tell" you smile, squeezing her tightly and rocking back and forth gently.

"my pretty girls" jungkook whispered, more so to himself than directed at you both.

"and bammy" gia added on, hiding her face against your chest.

"and bammy" you insisted, rubbing her back

Jungkook leaned over to wrap you two into his arms, kissing both of your heads.

"did you have fun outside" you asked

Gia giggled, "yeah...but daddy pushed the swing too much, I fell" she babbled

"what?" You look at your husband

"shes okay, shes breathing, shes here" he began, smothering his hands over his little girls face as she laughed loudly.

"mama feeling okay?" she asked once you all calmed down,

"mama is doing okay, my dear. Dont worry about me, I love you so much" you squished her face softly and kissed her nose

"love you more!!" she added, clapping her hands

"Love you most!!" You couldnt help but smile as jungkook leaned his head against the back of the couch, eyes drawn on his wife and daughter only.

"i'll make some lunch" he spoke, standing

"yay!! I help?" Gia hopefully asked

"no no, you girls sit there and look cute" he winked at you before walking off to the kitchen, bam following him in hopes of getting a treat.

You loved your little family, and you wouldnt trade them for anything the world had more to offer.

They were the ones who got your through the toughest part of life, and you were grateful that in this moment you didnt have to fake a smile.

[mus-xpart-a]

Biology in Evangelion: Angel blood is blue, so why is Tabris’ red? - A theory

To start this off: 

This is about the original series + EoE, so any Lore or Explanations added or changed by the rebuilds is not acknowledged.��

This heavily relies on my interpretation, which does slightly alter the meanings of certain terms

My knowledge on biology ends at 8th grade so I’m sorry if any of this is painfully wrong / explained very poorly.

I have never had any training when it comes to writing in english so this is all over the place and has many grammar errors

Introduction

The other day I thinking about the difference between lilim / human and the seed of Adam. Specifically their blood. Beings of Adam (angels) have blue blood and beings of Lilith (humans/Lilim) have red blood.

Sooo… why does Kaworu / Tabris have red blood? We know he has red blood because of his eyes (red eyes are when there is no pigment and the light reflects the blood cells), and after unit 1 squishes him and is being cleaned off we see her hand is covered in RED blood. (Like I said earlier this is just about the original series & EoE, but I find it important to note that there is no ignoring the fact that his blood is VERY red in the rebuilds as well)

Tabris is of Adam, shouldn’t his blood be blue? If his blood is red, does that mean he’s less of an Angel? Is he really an Angel at all? I thought about these questions for far too long, and actually got quite frustrated at some points due to what seemed to be inconsistencies, until I realised it all makes sense.

Tabris does not have the biology of an angel, but that doesnt change the fact that he is one. Why is that?

What is an Angel?

Before I get too into it, I want to define what an Angel is in Evangelion. What an angel is, is defined by the characters in the show without knowing the big picture. The definition being the 15 children of Adam are Angels. In my interpretation an Angel is any and every being directly related to Adam. So Lilith isn’t an angel, and its offspring and clones aren’t either. They are Humans / Lilim. As an example following this logic, Evangelion Unit 1 (clone of Lilith) and all Lilim (offspring of Lilith) are not angels, and Adams children (Sachiel, Ramiel, Sandalphon etc) as well as Unit 0 and Unit 2 (clones of Adam) are.

I am very aware that Lilith is referred to as an Angel (specifically as the second Angel), but that is only because, like I said earlier, the characters that defined what an angel is didn’t really have the big picture in mind, nor did they have much information to go off of. Lilith isn’t of Adam, so it doesn’t make sense for it to be called an Angel. The humans found it after finding Adam, so they just assumed they are the same.

About clones

We know clones inherit the biology of their source body, even if the clone itself isn’t a 1to1 copy. So for example Rei is a clone of a Lilim (Yui), so her blood is red. As seen in her eyes and the bandages covering her many many injuries throughout the series are stained red. There’s no denying it, reis blood is red. This makes sense.

And this isn’t just for Humans / Lilim, it also applies to beings of Adam. We see this with unit 2 (a clone of Adam) in her fight with Zeruel and in EoE when she fights the mass produced Evas that her blood is also the lovely shade of blue associated with angels. (Note: To my knowledge we never see unit 0s blood, but if anyone has some scenes from the original series where we do see her bleed, let me know). 

The blue blood is not something unique to Unit 2. We never see Adam bleed, however we do see that his offspring (not clones, but still related) do in fact have blue blood. Unit 1s fight with Sachiel in the second episode shows and confirms this best. This is why angels are “Pattern Blue”. It’s for their blue blood type. 

Clone "genetics"

(We get a bit more into my personal interpretations here, but bear with me.)

Everything related to Lilith has red blood and everything related to Adam has blue blood. 

…Right? Well, not always. 

An example of this not always being completely being true is the same example I used earlier. Unit 2. Unit 2 is also related to Lilith.

Yes, she is a clone of Adam, but her soul is from Asuka’s mom, a Lilim. Unit 2 in my opinion is better described as being related to Lilith because of her soul. Who you are is determined by your soul and not necessarily your body.

So, she is related to Lilith and Adam simultaneously. But is better described as of Lilith despite being biologically of Adam.

So Clones biology is determined by the source BODY and not the biology of the original souls host, despite the souls source being better used to describe who / what the person or being is.

Where am I going with this? 

Personally I believe that Kaworu is also clone of a Lilim. Which is why he can pass as human, and looks so similar to Rei. Both having red eyes, pale skin, light hair, a thinner body, and looking rather sickly. Now, I do not know if this is canon or not, but if it isn’t ever outright stated it’s pretty heavily implied in my opinion. 

Tabris says that Rei is “like him”. And he isn’t referring to the fact he’s an Angel, because Rei isn’t an angel. She has Liliths soul. Lilith isn’t an angel. But she also isn’t really Lilith. Yes, she is the Vessel for its soul but they are still referred to as different beings. Just like how Kaworu is the vessel for Adams soul, but Tabris and Adam are seen as seperate beings, seperate Angels even.

So, he must be referring to the fact that they are both clones of Lilim housing the souls of other beings, Lilith and Adam respectively. 

Who Tabris is a clone of is a mystery. I personally like the theory that it’s Dr. Katsuragi (Misatos dad) but in the end it’s irrelevant. What’s relevant is that he is a clone of a Lilim. And like i determined earlier, clones inherit their biology from the source of the body, and not the biology of what originally housed their soul. 

In conclusion:

Despite his soul being (of) Adam and being an angel, due to the fact that he is a clone of a Lilim, Tabris’ blood is red, and not Blue.

[love-byers]

Hey! I love love all your analysis that center on cinematography, writing and the themes of the show, but I really think Byler analysts should stop with the eyewitness parallel! The scenes are actually not identical at all, they just look similar in the wide shot with the car in the background, but that's it. The "I'm not gay like you" line isn't even in that scene, the whole thing has just been widely exaggerated by Bylers. I doubt Shawn Levy has even seen this show, it didn't have great ratings and was cancelled after one season. If we need compelling Byler evidence, I think it has to actually come from the show, or everyone else will discredit us. But many that's just my opinion, I don't know... Anyway, sorry for the rant!

it's not just the wide shot and the car, it's the silhouettes and the desaturated gloomy coloring

and you can't just write off the car. remember this is a tv show, everything has to be decided beforehand and placed there. or if it's cgi a team of people have to spend hours and hours creating it. with something as big as a car it just isn't an accident.

why put the car there? what was the reason? is has no relevance to the scene. it's in a weird place. it takes up so much of the screen behind will and mike. so why even put it there at all?

they did it because it's a reference to a piece of queer media. the show having some bad reviews and being cancelled doesn't mean it can't be paralleled. i remember seeing philkas A LOT in 2016-17. and at that time there wasn't THAT much blatant queer representation, especially rep where the show is all about them.

and shawn levy is a director, a film person. you can't just assume he hasn't seen it because it wasn't the most popular show ever. the ST writers showed us a board with every inch of it covered in names of different movies and shows that they took inspiration from for s4. and a bunch of them are obscure, unpopular, low budget movies i guarantee you've NEVER heard of. because that's what film people do, they watch and study film.

and i do know about bylers exaggerating what lukas says in that scene, and im assuming you said that because yesterday i posted about the parallel and used a picture where it references that. i shouldn't have used that picture, i honestly didn't think anyone would read it. i just wanted a pic where it at least said that phillip and lukas are gay and explained eyewitness.

and if you're right and this is just a coincidence, then it doesnt even matter because there is piles and piles of evidence within ST that supports byler

[strawberrykisseslia]

loml

pairing: vanessa shelly x fem!reader

tw. angst / no comfort, you're married to vanessa, not really happy marriage

wc. 859

an. uh yeah, i love angst n im kinda griefing, maybe doesnt make sense at all, bare with me there and CHAT OH MY GOD THE SURPRISE SONGS HAS BEEN WILDDDD HOW R WE DOING?? now good bye for another few months (joking... or am i)

song(s) rec. loml , fresh out the slammer - ts

pleasant reading. (or not)

everything seemed perfect.

your marriage with vanessa was good. you loved her and she loved you. but you felt lonely most of the times. vanessa was never home. she kept on burying herself in work and pushing herself to the edge. you always told her that she can talk to you, you are there for her. but she never took the chance to be more open. you knew about her past, how hard was it for her but didn't you prove enough for her to trust you more?

this topic always came up while you were having dinner or while you were just having a moment of peace.

tonight wasn't different. you had to tell her how lonely you felt. how loveless this marriage felt from the inside while looking perfect on the outside.

you just couldn't keep on waiting for her. maybe, your love wasn't enough for her? she never told you what she exactly wanted.

you took a deep sigh as you put your fork down. "i can't keep on living like this." you looked down at your plate. you had to stay strong. strong for your wife and for yourself. you needed to figure something out. quick.

vanessa looked up from her food. she felt guilty. she knew, she wasn't there for you a lot of times. but she still had to process everything that had happened to her. she met you after her coma and she still wasn't over it. and she just couldn't open up.

"you're never home and i just-" you shook your head and dared to meet her gaze. "i don't know what to do." you murmured out. it was hard. for both of you.

vanessa nodded with each of your words. "i know." her voice was weak and quiet.

the silence that came felt so loud.

when both of you met everything was different. sure, vanessa was closed up but it was still better. you spent nights just talking about everything. little after your wedding day, she started to stop sharing things with you. like her day, how she is. she brushed it off. even when you invited her to your shared bed, she turned you down multiplie times. you respected it, of course. but you just didn't understand why she wouldn't talk to you like how she used to. what happened?

even vanessa didn't knew what was wrong at all. she just still needed time.

"vanessa, you know, you can talk to me, right?" you asked. you were a little bit scared from it but you did it.

she nodded as she set her eyes on the now cold food in front of her. "i know." she responded, her voice just above a whisper.

"vanessa, i'm tired. i'm tired of waiting for you because i feel like you're never here." you sighed and ran a hand through your hair. "i feel... lonely." it felt scary saying it out loud. but you had to. because if not then no changes will be made. for the sake of your marriage. for the better or for the worse.

with every second pessing by it felt harder for you to hold back tears. and for vanessa as well.

vanessa couldn't and didn't even dare to look into your eyes. the guilt was eating her up.

this conversation felt more deeper than the other ones. because you finally said what you were feeling.

"you can't keep on burying yourself in work, vanessa. you have to be with me too. mentally too." you explained with a soft tone. "i want to make this work." you whispered. you weren't sure what was going through your wife's head.

vanessa wanted this too. she just couldn't forget. she will never. but she doesn't want to hurt you any more.

"i'm sorry." her voice broke. she covered her face in her palms.

your lips parted and you just stared at her. you didn't know what exactly to do. comfort her? give her space?

"i never wanted to hurt you." she spoke up and lowered her hands and looked right into your eyes. now that she was fully facing you, you noticed how tired she was. the bags under her eyes. her rather messy hair. she looked like a mess.

before you could have said anything, vanessa stood up from her seat. she rushed to the front door to put her shoes on and gathered her keys then stormed out of your shared home.

it happened so quickly. you just sat at the table above your cold food. you leaned back into the chair and let out a heavy sigh. a few fast blinks and tears formed in your eyes. you couldn't hold back any longer. you never wanted her to leave like this. with so much hurt.

you wished this was just a bad dream and you would wake up in any second. but no. this wasn't a dream, this was reality.

you just hoped vanessa would be back soon. that she wouldn't do anything stupid. you wouldn't be able to handle that. you can't lose her. you loved her so much. you truly thought what you had was special.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for defending my friend lying about his dog dying?

Cw for animal abuse and Is ableist language (using sociopath as synonym for bad person)

I was in a friend group of three. Me (24f) my best friend since age 7 (24m) and we have a mutual friend he met in college when he moved away and has known for a little over a year (23f). Callin' them Liam and Rory for ease. Liam had an Esa (not a service dog, an esa). His whole life has revolved around this dog since we were 16 and he moved away. He keeps a very strict schedule with this dog. We are all aware of it because he will leave group chats mid conversation to make sure "Buddy" gets walked or fed or whatever time it is. He takes really good care of this dog and hand-makes its meals and takes it to the vet every 2 months.

Few weeks ago he was acting weird but trying to cover it up. I had been meaning to ask what was going on more privately but I kinda dropped the ball because my aunt died suddenly.

Flash to a week ago Rory sent a huge wall of text to our group chat calling Liam a barrage of names like "sociopath". It turns out that his dog died but he'd been acting like everything was the same which is why he seemed off. She found out when she came onto his property to check on him and he had to "confess."

Shes upset at him for lying but I knew there was more going on. So I talked to him about it privately over the phone and he just shattered. He had no idea what to do or say because he thinks his dad killed Buddy but he doesn't have direct proof. I had never heard him cry before this, because he was raised to really keep that stuff close to his chest. He's tried to open up to me over the years but it's visibly difficult for him especially with how his father still treats him. I believe him because if he truly wanted to manipulate me I still do not think he would have let me see that. He kept apologizing and sounding really lost and ashamed so I really don't think it was an act, you can't fake that kind of helpless abused kid feeling.

I forgave him for keeping it from me because it was obvious he was going to tell us once he processed the situation because that's a lot to say the least. I explained what happened to Rory and said sure maybe it wasn't 100% in the right but he was obviously expiercing trauma and him acting like everything was fine wasn't about hurting us, and we knew something was wrong but didn't ask, she thinks he's trolling for sympathy and that if I forgive him it tells her everything she needs to know about what kind of person I am. And says if he really thinks he dad killed his dog he would have called the police.

There are several reasons he shouldn't call the police one being that his dad has always treated Laim really badly but we never thought he would kill a dog and my friend has to live with him because he's a broke college student. She said he should have figured that out on his own but instead he manipulated us and is now trying to make us feel bad that he got caught.

I also feel like he was in danger from his dad and if he told us Buddy was gone he'd have to say why and then he'd be lying to us anyway until he figured out what the hell happened or if it was safe to tell us. We don't have enough information so I just don't think it's fair to totally write him off as a bad person over what is obviously and extremely traumatic situation? Without even talking to him? She found out Buddy was dead, left and refused to speak to him before announcing her departure from the group and blocked him on everything and basically made me choose between her or him.

I told her that was a really heartless take and that she's over reacting and she told me if I wanted to be best friends with a sociopath that was none of her buisness but she wanted nothing to do with either us because I'm just as bad as him if I don't agree with her so she doesnt loose anything by cutting me off.

She really made me feel like I was helping Liam hide a body. So I'm wondering if she's right. I don't think I'll change my mind, I won't abandon him but I am willing to admit I was wrong if I am.

Am I the assshole for sticking by him?

What are these acronyms?

[saltpepperbeard]

I cant stop thinking about the end of episode 6, specifically the Stede and Ed of it all.

Just the look on Stede's face when he pulls Ed in kills me. I need to know everything in there, in words.

Also, what do you think wouldve happened if instinct hadnt taken over? Would they have actually talked it through (as a crew?) Or would Stede have just brushed over it again and Ed accept it?. This is pretty much the only time he tries to actually help stede like this.

Also, because im rambling, why doesnt Ed defend Stede properly when people insult him? does he think it just doesnt affect him or something?

Pardon the tardy answer on this one, anon! I was in the void, only to get decked upside the head by Leslie Jones once I crawled out of said void lol. BUT OKAY OKAY-

*rubs hands together like a fly*

This face absolutely kills me too. And I feel like it says so much without saying a word at all. I feel like it says, "I'm so happy and relieved to see you right now because the true torture of the night was seeing you get threatened." And, "I love you so much for checking up on me, but I don't have it in me to use words right now, and can't really express what I'm feeling any other way than through actions." And, "I'm so terrified after what just happened, but having you here is such a grounding force."

Like just...the glassy sheen to his eyes but the relief to his overall visage...Mr. Darby I'm billing you for damages <3 sdjksldls. I think he was just so so happy to see Ed in that moment, and so relieved to have him after nearly losing him again.

And as far as talking things through goes...I honestly feel like Stede still would have stayed clammed up. I have a feeling it would have been like how it was when he initially opened the door, ie Ed doing the talking/leading the conversation while Stede stays quiet. Maybe Ed sharing such deep feelings and vulnerability would have eventually pried his shell open and gotten him to express a few fears? But idk, because at the same time, Stede witnessed Ed's bathtub moment, and it didn't really shake any of his own personal walls.

I just think he has such a complicated thing going with his own self-image, masculinity, and trauma, that it would have been very very difficult for him to openly admit to pain/terror/etc etc—especially weakness. Especially the thing that earned him vitriol and stones and death threats. And especially not to the man he respects and looks up to so much.

And SPEAKING of which, in regard to your last question, I think Ed doesn't step in to defend him for two reasons. One, he's the protector against physical abuse, whereas Stede is the protector against verbal abuse. This lovely post here [x] explains it beautifully; "they're both protecting each other from the dangers they know." Ed acts very quickly if some sort of physical harm threatens Stede, whereas Stede acts very quickly if some sort of vitriol threatens Ed. Neither of them want the other to experience the pain they're so acclimated to, and subsequently are each other's defender from such.

And two, sort of along those lines, I don't think he recognizes the hurt that can come from it, just as Stede maybe doesn't recognize the hurt that can come from all the violence. Maybe he doesn't realize how deeply it has cut Stede, just as Stede doesn't really recognize how deeply violence has cut Ed. I don't know how to word this properly lol but like...they view what hurts the other as almost a non-issue.

You can see their varying reactions and differences a few times in episode 6 actually. When Ned is physically torturing them, Stede doesn't really react when Ed is burned, but Ed reacts strongly when Stede is burned. And when Ned is flinging vitriol about prior to the violence, Ed doesn't really react to it, but Stede scowls and fights against his restraints.

And then when they're on deck, Stede doesn't think to take cover when the attack is starting, but Ed immediately flings himself in front of him. And when Ned is trying to goad Ed into getting upset, Ed doesn't take the bait whatsoever, whereas Stede steps up and gets upset on his behalf.

Not to mention also, Stede being like "Haha escaping violence? Not bloody likely" the morning after. I know that's episode 7 lol, but my pOINT STILL STANDS. They both expect those things respectively—Ed expects insulting talk from other pirates, and Stede expects violence in their line of work, but they're actually rife with trauma for the two of them.

TLDR, they balance each other and ground each other so well, but imagine how much more they would if they shared all these deeper thoughts. I'm still holding out hope that Stede will have his bathtub moment in season 3, or even just show a lick of vulnerability around Ed. Maybe the domesticity/concept of marriage will scare him enough into opening up a bit more/talking things through, or even just settling into a more mature relationship with Ed will give him the grounds to do so.

REGARDLESS, they are just a broth that's....*Roach voice* beautiful, complicated, balanced...

[notsohehehahanow]

I know the mike initiating a kiss or making the first move is a popular thing among bylers but i dont think that would be/should be the case AND HERES WHY 🤓☝ *mcyter with lists voice* (i get sidetracked so bear with me)

For starters; we've come to a conclusion that mike has internalized homophobia and there's plenty of evidence to back this up, he wants to be "normal" and in the 80s being gay was abnormal, this is a commonly known thing that's mentioned a lot amongst bylers and its precisely the reason i dont think mike would be the one to make the first move

Mike does everything in his power to be a normal person which is why i think he was willing to lie to el so easily in season 3

This is where i get sidetracked but really its just backup analyzing for this

Before gay marriage was legal, lavender marriages were everywhere or at least a fairly common thing, in case you dont know lavender marriages are marriages that were used to cover the sexuality of one or both of the people getting married, which i think ties in with mike and els dynamic (will get to that later)

Mike uses el as a cover or a way to be normal, its what he grew up around and its what he saw on tv gay relationships just werent considered normal

In season 3 mike lies to el so he can continue to see her, to continue to have a cover or something that convinces him hes "normal", and all they really did was make-out because "thats what couples do"

You have the season 3 rain fight which ive seen multiple people mention that mike was blatantly reflecting but ive never seen anyone explain it more - will says something about mike and el (seemingly) constantly kissing, referring to el as "a stupid girl" and while mike did defend el, he couldve just left it at "els not stupid", "its not my fault you dont like girls" did not need to be there. He felt like will was seeing through the amount of effort he had been putting into normal and panicked, saying something he didnt mean and we can visibly see he didnt mean it

In season 4 theres the rollerrink fight, another instance where mike says something he didnt mean or like to say - will complains about mike not sending him letters whereas el has "a whole book of them", mike tells him "thats because shes my girlfriend" to which will asks "and us?" Which mike once again saw as will seeing through mike and he panicked, feeling the need to clarify that theyre just friends and wont be more, wills follow up shows hes more upset mike doesnt treat him like theyre best friends than the idea of them dating, wills already accepted the idea that mike doesnt like him the way he likes mike

The letters isnt because mike didnt want to talk to will, he most definitely tried (sitting by the phone and whining about joyce being on the phone all the time making it busy) but its because EVERYONE in hawkins knows who will is and theyll hear about it him growing up, hes the boy who was dead for a week and came back literally all over the newspapers as "zombie boy"

Mike would not be able to get away with being seen as "normal" while writing and receiving letters from another boy, especially if someone found out because for all he knows they could be the wrong person and suddenly all the work he puts into being "normal" has been washed away

With all that said; mike and will both have internalized homophobia on different ends, will knows and accepts it knowing he cant change it but he also hates it, and mike knows but denies it - i dont think mike would be the one to make the first move, i think it would be will

Idk thats it thats all i got

Will byers making the first move 🙏🙏

[nemo-bros]

this is my new visual schedule:

i have no idea how to image describe pictures with so many things in them, so I'm sorry I have no image description, but I will do my best to explain the purpose of each page (left to right top to bottom)

the cover (keeps pieces from falling off if I put the flipbook in my backpack or something) the cover also has my name on it but I cropped this out

'first next then after' page (the main page I use, has my soonest upcoming tasks- I take pieces from the 'to do' page and put them here)

'to do' (at the morning I fill up this page with my tasks like cleaning, chores, and studying- I do have cards for other fun activities and eating but I only ues them on the first page in between tasks from this page)

'done' (when I finish a task on the 'first next then after' page I move it here- it gives me dopamine to see everything I finished that day and makes me less stressed about the amount of things I need to do)

hygiene page- this page is actually so so good its like a cheat code- If you take nothing else from this post at least take this idea: the top (orange) section is for the morning, the bottom (blue) section is for the evening. in the morning all the cards will be in the morning section, when I finish a task I get to move it to the evening section (repeat this for all 6 tasks). in the evening I do the tasks again but the cards get moved to the morning section this time. (if there's a day where I didn't finish then I just move them anyways the next morning as a "reset") this page is in my book but it's probably more helpful just to leave it in the bathroom on the counter or mirror or something (without systems like this I cannot take care of my basic needs, even with these supports and the additional supports in my home i cannot reliably take care of my basic needs)

images 6-9 show some of the word storage pages, I have a total of 10 of these pages

if you're curious at all how i made it let me know and i will post the steps i did to make it and where I got all the pictures!! (I want everyone to be able to access systems like these if they need them, so I am very open to sharing this)

something i really really like about this flip book is that its very tactile and very visual- it does not require very much brain power to use- I really like to just move around the pieces on the pages with the velcro as a stim

i was promted to do this because recently a teacher told me I just need to manage my schedule better and that I should be trying harder (little does she know I'm trying my hardest already)

ive tried so many types of schedules and routines and I just cant stick to them (this is one reason I suspect adhd in addition to my autism but idrk and it probably doesnt matter), but then after she said that I was like okay I guess this is a good excuse to try a visual schedule so I made one (very time consuming but also fun) and then am still disapproved of for some reason... I think she thinks its "too childish/I'm not disabled enough" which I disagree because if it helps and they need it then they should use it regardless of sterotypes- i think this is true for all adaptive tech and disability aids

my point in showing this is to let other autistc adults know that you can use visual schedules if they help you and to boost someone else's confidence for them to use an aid they are afraid to because its stigmatized (also yes mine looks kind of simple/etc but I chose to do it this way because it works good for my brain like this- not because its how all visual schedules should/need to look)

[worflesbian]

right okay i dont know exactly how persistent an issue this is bc i almost never go into the tags on this website, but even ive noticed this happening so i feel like that’s justification to make a post about it. the whitewashing of julian bashir as an established Thing not just in the fandom but in official merch has been discussed before, but recently i’ve noticed the inverse happening with martok and b’elanna, a white character and a lighter latina character who people seem to often draw darker than they are in canon. and there’s like. a Lot going on there to unpack.

so this video goes into some detail about the racism baked into the origins and design of the klingons in tos, it’s very informative about the anti-asian stereotypes especially in a 60s context but i feel like it doesnt really cover the way that antiblackness becomes a more significant factor in the next gen era so like. if you didn’t know, the majority of the klingon characters in the next gen-ds9-voyager era are either played by actors with dark skin or Very frequently by white actors in heavy dark makeup. if you look up the actors of grilka, alexander, kehleyr, and sirella for example you’ll see what im talking about like the difference is Stark and these are some of the main recurring klingons across both shows. hopefully i do not need to explain why packing white actors in brown makeup to play members of a species characterised as violent, warlike and animalistic is racist. i say hopefully bc who knows with this website. anyway i’d recommend this video for a wider context on the legacy of blackface in tv!

martok is a rare example of a klingon played by a white actor who, as far as i can tell, does not have his skin significantly darkened. so to see him frequently being drawn with darker skin is uh Slightly Concerning given everything in the previous paragraph! ive even seen art where he’s drawn darker than julian in the same post which... anyway im not trying to blanket condemn reinterpreting the design of alien characters in fanart, but i am asking white fans like myself in particular to think critically as to why, out of all the white characters and aliens on ds9, martok is the one you want to do that with.

because b’elanna is not a white character i think its a slightly different situation, but at the same time she does have lighter skin and i have seen fanart of her drawn much much darker and once again, im not condeming it especially in works ive seen which explore the relationship bewteen her latina and klingon identities, but its something white fans need to handle carefully. in the voyager episode Faces where she gets split into a human and klingon version of her (dont have time to unpack all that) you can see the difference in undertones between human b’elanna and klingon b’elanna (also included a pic of regular b’elanna for reference). the brown makeup is obvious here too and if you can see why it might be racist to attribute a person’s rage and violent impulses to a part of themself that is then personified as darker skinned/more brown, then you might also see some of the wider problems going on here and can understand that this is something that demands a lot of thought and consideration.

i’d like to reiterate that this is a very complex and nuanced issue, especially considering the intersection of fictional race within the setting and the racial biases operating behind the scenes/metatextually, and i’d love to discuss it more (and to cite better sources than youtube videos when i have the time). but for now i’d just like to say yeah just ask yourself what the implications might be to drawing these characters in particular darker than they are in canon, especially if theyre the only characters you do that for, or you’re intentionally contrasting them with other characters (e.g. b/7 fanart) or yk. drawing a white character darker than a character of colour like ive seen people do with julian and martok.