#this chapter really is about to bury one of these gays

[shroomyifiy]

Hello DRDT fandom! Here’s yet another person throwing their hat into the ring about the Chapter 2 culprit.

Spoilers for Episode 14 below.

Yeah no Ace is probably the killer.

Now before anyone comes for me, hear me out!

We know that, currently, the culprit is between Ace and Eden. One of them definitely took the tape, no doubt about that, and is most likely the killer. You could argue the existence of a third party culprit, but currently, it has to be one of them. So we are going to ignore that for now. I will now break down why I believe Ace is the killer.

Step 1: Tape

Okay, first off, the tape. That motherfucking tape.

The tape is located directly in front of Ace’s feet, and disappears the moment he gets up and exclaims he’s alive. At this moment, he also knocks Eden to the ground, making it just a small amount of time for either of them to grab the tape.

Now, we don’t know where anyone directly is besides Ace, due to the way the series is presented. Meaning, we have no idea where either Teruko or Eden were standing relative to Ace revealing he was alive.

A big point for the Eden truthers is that when she was knocked over, she picked it up. Now, it’s possible that she could do so without either of them seeing her do this (Ace was currently bleeding and Teruko wasn’t paying attention to the tape). But, I feel like we need to look at the crime scene.

Teruko specifically tells Eden to “Not touch anything”, so we can assume that Teruko wouldn’t have moved anything around too much during her original investigation. So then that leaves us with an interesting thing.

Teruko and Eden both have to be standing by Ace’s body when he gets up (Eden because he pushes her and Teruko because she is mentioned to have touched his neck, and realized he was still alive). But one thing to note is that the area around Ace is rather messy and cluttered. Meaning, there are likely two spots that Eden could be standing at (3 for Teruko, but we will ignore that one for now).

Visually speaking, Eden needs to be standing in spots 1 or 2 to fit the criteria. If she’s in spot three, she’d have been pushed over the bench, and most certainly couldn’t have gotten the tape, and also would have made more noise. (side note: Teruko is either in spots 1 or 3, but currently, her position isn’t as important. For Culprit!Eden to work though, she cannot be in spot 2, which is the most unlikely spot anyways)

If Eden was standing in spot 2, she would have been more likely to be able to grab the tape without issue (as it would be right in front of her feet). While spot 1 could also work, Eden would have had to reach a much farther distance to grab it, and given she’s not knocked down long, I feel like Teruko would have noticed Eden crawling to grab it more than spot 2.

For Ace to grab the tape, we already know where he is relative to the tape, so we don’t need to explain that.

Now, when either of them got up, it’s likely they would have used their hands to push off from the ground near their feet, which is what they would have to do to grab the tape without being noticed. Otherwise, it would be impossible to grab it without being noticed.

You might be asking yourself, “Shroomy, why the fuck does it matter where Eden (and by extention, Teruko) were standing? That’s such a weird and minor detail!”

THE FUCKING TAPE DISSAPEARING WHEN ACE GETS UP/KNOCKS EDEN OVER IS SUCH A MINOR DETAIL TO START WITH!!!!

Ahem… I mean, clearly, the crime scene of Ace plays a part in Arei’s death. And since such a major piece of evidence comes from such a scene, doesn’t it make sense that eventually, body positions would come up? Especially considering just how cluttered the area was. It’s so minor, but it might be the smoking gun to solve the case.

Now, why would either of them pick it up in the first place?

With Eden, she has to be actively making a decision to grab it for whatever reason. Same with Ace, although you could make more of an argument that he grabbed it either a: help his wound or b: by accident, grabbed it and didn’t realize due to the whole murder thing. Also option c: to murder Nico with it, but that’s less likely.

Honestly, despite being what ties them both to the crime, I really don’t see why either of them would grab the tape, especially since, given how fast everything went, I doubt it was either of their first thoughts to recreate Nico’s murder attempt for their own murder, at least in the moment.

Moving on!

Step 2: The murder method

One of the big pieces of evidence against Ace right now is that, “Oh, he was just attacked. There’s no way he would have realized how he was attacked and would know how to replicate it, he’s not that smart!”

First off, let’s address Ace and his stupidity. Okay, yeah, he’s not the brightest person, but saying he’s not smart isn’t accurate. There are no truly “dumb” characters in drdt, at least in my opinion. And Ace has been shown before to have some intelligence.

For one thing, he is on Teruko’s side during the scrum debate in episode 8 of Chapter 1. Which might be weird to call out, but seeing as a lot of the “smarter” characters were on the other side (namely David [being a xander simp as per usual] and Veronika), Now while this isn’t enough to prove it and he did argue with her before in this same trial, it’s definitely noteworthy to mention.

And also, the carousel thing. The fact that it keeps being Ace that corrects Teruko on what it’s called is funny, but it’s also heavily linked to the murder.

Also also, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for yet another person in this cast to have been keeping a mask up. Someone is making a heel turn between these two, so realistically, this could be Ace’s. And also, despite being shown as “dumb”, Ace at least has some understanding of shit, considering his whole monologue about Levi. I’d have to rewatch a lot of episodes to further confirm this, but I doubt Ace is as stupid as some people think.

Now, the second problem. Ace being almost murdered and then using that same method to murder Arei seems like a bit much, doesn’t it? How could he have figured it out the second he woke up?

He didn’t. He would have fully figured it out AFTER he went back to his room and stopped trying to murder Nico, when he calmed down. (Which is what I think happened with Eden if she is the culprit, mind you)

Because, logically looking at the crime scene, ain’t no way either of them figured it out just by looking at it for like what? A few minutes? No way, I don’t buy it.

But here’s the thing. Ace does have an advantage over Eden here. That being, he woke up during the murder attempt, as confirmed by Nico in the latest episode. Huh. After Ace had claimed to not remember the method because he was unconscious the whole time? Hmmmmm?

No way that little piece of info isn’t going to be important. Especially considering this is the first time we’re hearing about it.

“Shroomy, that’s still not enough to prove Ace over Eden!” I hear you cry out.

Time for the smoking gun.

You know why Nico’s drop hanging attempt failed? It’s not because Ace was too heavy for the fan? No.

It’s because Ace was able to fight back when he woke up.

And what is one of the big differences that hasn’t been brought up yet in this case?

The fact that Arei’s wrists were bound at some point, to keep her from fighting back.

Nico and Ace are the only people who would know about this. Because, again, no one knew Ace woke up during the attempt. So, if Ace were to recreate the murder for Arei, he would know to bind her wrists so she doesn’t fight back. Because it’s why he survived in the first place.

Moving on, using this method would work for Ace, because 1: frames Nico who he hates, 2: Ace is probably a little weakened from almost dying, using a pulley method would be easier than risking Arei escaping.

Now rapid fire mode!

Why use fish from the relaxation room? Frame both Nico (primary) and David (secondary).

The killer probably used the ball of clothes to get the rope up and broke the lights doing so. Eden is the weakest one there, and Ace could have the strength to do so.

Why target Arei? Ace probably didn’t care who he killed, he doesn't care about anyone there.

How would he know about the conversation in the infirmary? We cannot deny that someone could have overheard it. Also, Ace has already been established as eavesdropping earlier in the trial. (this happens the same day as his murder attempt, btw)

Ace has spent most of the trial pointing fingers at others (even in the investigation, he’s the first to draw attention to Nico trying to kill him and Arei dying; knowing the cases are connected, this is interesting).

Wow, that's crazy. Loose connection but still.

He’s also the whole reason David had his magical girl transformation, giving the smoking gun evidence that he and Arei met up.

Which, you know, derailed the trial a lot. Like, 2 or 3 episodes worth of time that could have been used to solve the trial faster?

Huh. Now it's that something.

But, what does this mean for the story?

Step 3: Arei and Ace; Teruko, Eden, and thematics

Both start off as unlikable assholes. But Arei wanted to change, and both Eden and David gave her a hand to begin that change. But she’s murdered before that could happen. Ace rejects anyone’s hand, not trusting anyone and causing more issues. One who tried to be better, and one who got much worse. In a way, they’re parallels in this instance. Two parallels getting killed in the same chapter? Where have I seen this before?

Yeah Min and Xander (i miss you both ;-;)

This is the part where I talk about Min and Eden parallels.

Ain’t no way drdtdev is going to make the same repeat of the last trial’s conclusion. The hugs!!!! The crying!!! Teruko, who points out when Eden tries to investigate with her in this chapter that Min did the same thing to deceive her. Eden, who was crying for someone to believe she didn’t kill Arei. Teruko, who decides to trust Eden, the same way that Eden was the only one to believe in Teruko in the last trial.

Eden, who would be able to prove David and Teruko’s points wrong. Who believed in Arei, that she could be her friend! Eden, who if was revealed to be the killer, would likely send Teruko down a worse path, being betrayed for the third time now.

Ace, who shares Teruko’s views that no one can be trusted, and who isolated himself from everyone. Ace who, despite how much I love him, would show Teruko how isolating herself from everyone else would lead to her death. Ace, who would be a dark reflection on what Teruko could have been, had she continued down that path. Both were almost killed, but one who tried to murder everyone to get out and the other who saved everyone from getting killed.

The narrative themes of trust and distrust.

Teruko’s secret quote for god's sake!!!!!

It’s too much to not go anywhere guys!!!

Okay, I think that’s it for now. Sorry if this sounds like I’m rambling too much, or if it doesn’t make much sense. First time posting something here lol. But this series makes me sick!!!!!/pos

I like both Eden and Ace, and don’t want it to be either of them, but I doubt it’s a third party at this point. And between the two, I think narratively, it makes more sense for it to be Ace.

And also, guys, we NEED more positive characters going into chapter 3, after how many mentally ill people are around rn. We have enough asshole men now (cough looking at you, Mr. David Chiem cough). Whit is too sus and is either dying or about to get hit with a truckload of emotions to stay stable long enough.

Also, Teruko learning to trust while Eden learns to distrust!! Teruden!!!! YURI NATION SWEEP GUYS!!!!!

If I’m wrong, I might die on the spot (please Eden I need you to stay alive!!!!)

[dimensionhoppr]

they were so so right when they said bkdk is a gay ship for gay people

[saccharinescorpion]

witch hat atelier spoilers (up to chapter 66)

the thing about Galga and Atwert is like. you're introduced to them like that and you're like "oh that's nice :) gay rights :)" and then That happens to Galga and you're like "wait was Galga being gay just introduced to make it hurt more when he's (symbolically) killed off??? i expected way better from this series :/" and then Atwert comes back and it turns out he's a lot more than just the side character soft boy boyfriend. And Then he figures out how to buck the law and save Galga from being sent away, but it's only by making him his apprentice. and that's so tragic and- and i don't think this is unintentional- actually reflects the reality of same-sex adult adoption, a practice many gay couples were forced to partake in to retain their rights, and a practice still alive in Japan (see "Why I Adopted My Husband"). AND THEN Galga ends up saving Ininia, the one who took his memories in the first place, and bringing her along with the two of them, inadvertly recreating the family unit with his forgotten lover and the source of their misery, with all parties having differing levels of knowledge of what "the truth" is and being unable to disclose it. and then you're like, wait, did Kamome Shirahama just take the token Wholesome Gay Background Couple you see a lot of nowadays, and then introduce tragedy to them, but then also eschew "Bury Your Gays" (symbolically in this case) to keep them together, and then make them a cog in the main story in a way that engages with the overarching themes of the narrative AND touches on real world issues? did Kamome Shirahama just do " what if they were a wholesome found family :)" but in a way that's actually really fascinating and bitterly tragic and ironic? are comics good???????????????

[cairavende]

My wonderful girlfriend got me Gideon the Ninth for Christmas and I realized why should I just give Worm recaps? Let's read some Locked Tomb! (We'll see how this format works, maybe I'll adjust it. Specifically might break stuff down into smaller segments instead of full acts, but I didn't think of doing this until after I had read all of act 1.)

Gideon the Ninth Act 1 (chapter 1 through 8) thoughts:

This book is so gay oh my god

Like, it's gay in ways I can't even explain. I love it.

Harrow beats the shit out of Gideon in chapter 2 and I don't know if I've ever seen someone get beat up in a more gay way.

"Oh Griddle! But I don't even remember about you most of the time." ROLL A FUCKING DECEPTION CHECK HARROW! You are saying this standing in the middle of the field you spent all night burying bones in just to foil her escape in the most dramatic way. You can't stop remembering her.

Gideon is the most herbo of herbos. I fucking love her. I love reading her PoV. She just knows punch and stab with sword and if those don't work than she'll just do them harder.

Also Gideon is SO fucking gay. Dear god. Dulcinea faints and Gideon turns off all though. HELP PRETTY GIRL. Nothing else.

Ok I could just make this whole thing "EVERYTHING IS GAY" but there is technically more than that.

I love how weird everything is and how little explanation is given. I don't want pages of exposition, I want to learn the world as it comes at me! This is perfect.

And just the very nature of things that seem weird not being given more than a passing thought in the book is information. Something may seem wild to the reader but it's so normalized to the characters that they wouldn't even think about the idea of it being different.

Lack of explanation also helps really show how much of a meathead Gideon is. Do the readers get to learn details about this thing? Only if it is a weapon, has tits, or Gideon is forced to listen while Harrow explains it. Otherwise no, why the fuck would Gideon spend her precious few brain cells on thinking?

And even if Gideon is forced to listen as Harrow explains it, the readers might not learn much cause Gideon might stop listening. I love her.

Aiglamene is wonderful. Crux is fine but I like her more.

Poor Gideon just wants a big sword that she can swing hard. It's not like she can't use a rapier. But why when she can go big sword?

SO MUCH CATHOLICISM

As someone who once was Catholic and then realized I was actually not a straight man, but instead a lesbian, I am in deep.

And the fucking slang used! Or whatever would be the right term. The shit they say! I love it. Just the weird sci-fi far future space necromancer universe and then suddenly "Are you asking me to . . . throw her a bone?", "Gideon had always known that this would be how she went: gangbanged to death by skeletons.", "Don’t hypothetically shove stuff up my butt again, it never does any good.", "Lo! A destructed ass.", "Well we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.", "Double Bones with Doctor Skelebone."

House of the First appears to be Earth. I kinda assume the House of the Ninth is Pluto, even though things obviously aren't in order given that the Seventh and Sixth are closer to the sun. Of course, I'm kinda expecting this to not technically be this solar system at all.

Undying Emperor, King of Resurrection, I Have Ten-Thousand Titles, Boss First, etc etc hasn't been on "Earth" in over nine thousand years. I wanna know MORE.

And the fucking Ninth House has their own prayer! Everyone else has one that the Ninth didn't know and then the Ninth had one that no one else knows! GIMME MORE!!!!

Also again, so many Catholicism metaphors or comparisons or whatever!

I could go on forever but gonna end this one with OH MY GOD SHE FOUND SUNGLASSES I LOVE HER. Fucking "I came prepared, my sweet." and "But then you couldn't have admired . . . these!" as she whips on the sunglasses. God. I nearly died.

[ladyluscinia]

My hottest take from trying to delve into David Jenkins's interviews and piece together where he's going with this is that - for all he and everyone else are consistent about describing this show as a romance and a romcom (and The Muppets) - I don't think he finds the romance compelling??? At least, not the healthy endgame version.

Like, the one interview where he dropped that he was planning an unrequited romance in all those pitches of his until they shot the bathtub scene in 1x06...? Wild twist, but also it kind of makes sense.

Look at the comparisons he makes. Titanic (where Jack dies). Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (where both leads die). Shows like Insecure and Grey's Anatomy, where relationships get messy breakups constantly. He's excited about fanvids set to Olivia Rodrigo's "Favorite Crime". Writes an episode based on Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, a 1966 film of a play that attacks the concept of happy marriages. He mentions A Star Is Born repeatedly in reference to S2, a movie where the disaster marriage ends in suicide and heartbreak.

And even broad spectrum - he repeatedly explains that he's not compelled by pirate stories. Accuses the genre of being "creaky" and "hard to budge", and then claims to want to subvert it in one interview and shrugs about how "it's a pirate story" as reasoning in others. But the part he seems interested in...? Well it's the oncoming end of the Golden Age aspect, and also maybe the short and violent life of organized crime. He's drawing comparisons to mob movies and Westerns - two things I think we can say trend toward the bittersweet to tragic scale with endings. His examples certainly do.

I'm no longer surprised he was really compelled by the Edward and Izzy toxic divorce in S1 and the idea of doing an arc about "Can Izzy find himself outside of this toxic relationship?" only to answer "No." It seems right in his wheelhouse, tbh. Definitely enough that if he felt like Izzy ought to die due to vibes, I doubt he was looking too hard for an alternative.

For all his talk about "Can BlackBonnet put the work into this relationship?" I'm really getting the impression he thinks the more compelling answer is also "No." He likes the idea of a happy ending maybe, but he doesn't really seem into that as a story.

Now, he does seem to have gotten a crash course in "Maybe don't bury your gays?" and he's not lying about wanting to avoid the specific kinds of coming out and queer trauma stories - those are different kinds of tragedies - but I am... skeptical, perhaps, that the forced happy ending feeling of S2 will do anything but repeat in S3.

Just because, like, if I was scrolling these takes on a fic author's blog, I'd put majority odds on the main couple hanging in the final chapter, and I bet a happy sunset ending would come kinda out of nowhere...

Not really a recipe for satisfying, you know?

[hp-hcs]

PART 3 OF PANSYS BROTHER YANDARE!THEO I BEGGGG

LIGHTHOUSE (Chapter Three of Pansy’s Brother) — yandere! psycho! theodore nott x ftm! parkinson! reader

WARNINGS: abduction/kidnapping, possessive/obsessive behavior

short as fuck but wtv

requests open

it’s a real place! tourlitis lighthouse, just off the coast of andros, greece. absolutely gorgeous, huh?

it’s technically a fully-automatic lighthouse, so there’s no real living quarters inside but yk what i write gay fanfic about wizards on tumblr i can do whatever i want

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You fought against your captor, but their grip was unyielding. They dragged you from the library, ducking into a small alcove before the loud crack of Apparition filled your ears.

Apparating was already an uncomfortable method of travel, but even more so with someone holding you painfully tight from behind. Your captor’s nails dug into your skin as they tightened the hand they had pressed over your mouth, and you could feel your panic begin to rise.

All of the swirling, churning motions of Apparating suddenly stopped, and you would’ve stumbled if hadn’t been for your captor’s firm grasp around your torso.

“Woah- careful, darling. You’re alright. Calm down.”

The stranger’s voice was decidedly male. He slowly pulled his hand away from your mouth, wrapping it around your waist, over top of his other arm.

It was like a really fucked up hug.

Would’ve been sweet of you hadn’t just been, y’know, kidnapped.

You didn’t scream. You didn’t cry. You were too stunned to do anything. The reality of the situation hadn’t even hit you yet.

The stranger buried his face into the back of your neck, his warm breath tickling your hair. You shuddered, cringing at the odd display of… affection? Obsession?

You resolutely ignored the man behind you and instead took a moment to look around, to take in your surroundings.

You were indoors, a very small space that appeared to be round. The walls were whitewashed brick, and the front door, just mere feet away from you, was a dark, solid wood. There was only one window, papered over with yellowing Muggle newspapers.

Dim light filtered through the window, but most of the room’s lighting came from a few oil lamps hanging on the walls. The lamps illuminated a teeny tiny kitchen, with a teeny tiny fridge, and a teeny tiny kitchen table which, by the looks of it, folded up against the wall when it wasn’t being used.

A ladder bolted to the wall ran up into the ceiling, where you could catch a glimpse of a fuzzy blanket in what was, presumably, a loft bedroom. The oddly cylindrical house was rather quaint, in a weird way.

“I’m going to let go of you now, darlin’,” the man behind you suddenly breathed into your ear, startling you.

You held your breath as your captor pulled his arms away.

The second he let go of your waist though, you made a break for the front door. You sprinted across the room, yanking it open.

He made no move to stop you, and you only realized why once you took just one step out of the house.

You were on an island.

No, the word island was generous. You were on a rock.

A sharp crash of a wave on the rock below sent sea spray into your face, immediately drenching your uniform.

You ignored the biting chill, instead electing to look around.

There was a short flight of steps cut into the rock that led up to the front door of the house-

The house.

You turned around, unsure of what to expect.

A fucking lighthouse was not in your top one hundred guesses.

“Y/N!”

You glanced down from the light at the top of the building to the doorway, where your captor stood.

He leaned against the doorframe, looking rather unbothered by your laughable attempt to escape.

“Where am I?” You demanded. “Who are you?”

“Aw, you don’t recognize me? That’s a shame.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Wait…you’re Pansy’s friend, aren’t you? Th- Theodore…?”

His face lit up and he broke out in a beaming grin. “You remember! Now, come back inside before you freeze.”

You scoff, fully intending to ignore him. But at that exact moment, a huge wave smacked against the rock, splashing up and soaking you all the way through.

You gasped at the chill. Theodore rolled his eyes and caught your wrist, tugging you back inside with surprising gentleness for the dude who’d just violently kidnapped you.

Shutting the door behind you both, he turned back towards you, frowning when he saw your school uniform dripping all over the floor.

“Wait just one second-” He scrambled up the ladder bolted onto the wall with surprising ease, returning just a moment later.

He held out for you to take: a way too oversized sweater, and sweatpants you were sure would never fit you.

You didn’t take them, stubbornly refusing even though you were shivering quite a bit. “Where. Are. We?”

“Italy,” he responded without hesitation.

You gaped at him.

“I beg your fucking pardon?”

[sasukimimochi]

Wei Wuxian belted out a laugh as he was basically dragged over to the bed, however obediently sitting down upon the blood red blankets when prompted. "I see you've missed me. You know I had to go, though, they needed me." He smiled, wrapping his hand around the silky white ribbon in his husbands hair with practiced ease. He had seen this look many times on his husband while they were alive, and it was no less adorable to him to see what was essentially the jade pouting. He looked so upset, but it was just so cute!

He lifted Lan Wangji's face gently from where it had been buried in his chest, gave a kiss to his nose that had became somewhat pink from the rubbing, and leaned back with crescents for eyes. "Lan Zhan~! What's with all this pouting? I was only gone for a bit."

Lan Wangji huffed softly and leaned up to pepper the sun on the other's chest in kisses, not letting up one bit even as his husband giggled from the sensation traveling up his neck.

"I can't take you with me, you know that- Lan Zhan hahaha!" Wei Wuxian nuzzled against the angel in retort, but still ended up getting buried in the other's affections.

Here's the sketches i made for my friend who needed some gay to cheer up ✨ her favorite is COI so that's what we get today hehe [plus a couple bonuses] i like adding writing segments with my art as well so i whipped this up [maybe i'll use it in the fic one day if it fits the chapters i make for it]

I hope you guys like it!!

bonuses!

extra versions and the link to other coi art is under the cut! i really liked the sketches so i wanted to provide them without the color haha

the ribbon being held was personally requested by my friend so you have her to thank! lol actually the idea for this is hers to thank too cuz i wasn't sure what to do. she wanted the staring-into-each-other's-eyes thing hehe

her other ideas i was like they're great but i am a dying artist i can only give simple pleasures (i might try to write her other suggestions down the line tho cuz they were cute n very gay)

Check out more COI art or other AU's via my MDZS fanfiction masterpost. [There's a lot more art to check out so have fun!!]

Check out the original COI post however to get the most information about it, cuz that's where i write down a lot of character and AU information that i don't entail in my masterpost [cuz it'd get too big if i added all of it]

Don't repost/use/alter my work thank you! Can be used as icons with credit.

[aer-arts]

small Danganronpa Despair time ramble, spoilers up throughout chapter 2

First off, Ace and Eden are tied for my favorite characters

second, these are all personal thoughts and opinions, you do not have to agree with me I just ask that you’re respectful

I have to admit though, while I am sad Ace is going to die, I am happy that Eden isn’t the culprit

I don’t want to get too far into an analysis of Ace, but my long story short is that I am so satisfied with this outcome, it’s so tragic yet so fitting and I can just sink my teeth into analyzing it (aka, I could absolutely write an essay if I wanted after i organize my thoughts)

but right now I wanna ramble about Eden, and I’m honestly really happy she isn’t the culprit. I feel like her being the culprit would just not work for the plot

especially in this cast, I think Eden is so vital to keeping balance, without her the cast would just be overwhelmingly negative and cyclical, she provides good balance. I also really appreciate the nuanced take on the idea of a good character. I think she is so much more impactful as a character who simply tries to be good without ulterior motives. Not every good person is doing it to manipulate someone. like, if Eden was the culprit, what would the message here be? That there is no such thing as a good person? That people aren’t nice unless they have something to gain? This show has themes of trust vs distrust, Eden to me represents the side of trust so if she were to be evil and manipulating Teruko here the whole debate goes out the window. It would just be “don’t trust anyone because no one is worth trusting” and that just wouldn’t sit right with me. We already have David for that

also, if Eden was to be the culprit, I feel like that would undermine the effect Min had. Despair time has a great first murder to me, and i genuinely did find Min to be an interesting culprit. But if Eden were to be the culprit in chapter 2, especially with the parallels between her and Min and both of their relationships to Teruko, Eden being responsible would kinda just be Min’s betrayal 2 electric boogaloo. It would mean that both chapters Teruko trusted someone who was trying to manipulate her, which would be repetitive. It would set this expectation that Teruko can’t trust anyone because she will be betrayed by them and it would sorta kill any suspense I would have going forward. Min’s murder is memorable because it feels unique (to me, I am also an idiot so take what I say with a grain of salt) but it goes out the window if every murder is like that.

also, narratively, culprit Eden just didn’t make sense to me? Like, genuinely, why would Eden kill Arei? I know I haven’t looked too far into any theories because I’m bad like that (I tend not to because I don’t want my expectations warped) but seriously, wouldn’t that be out of character? That might just be me. I do feel like sometimes people just don’t think characters can be genuinely nice/good, but that’s just my personal thoughts

also, as a joke, if Eden were to be the culprit that would just be a bury your gays trope, I know Ace is gay but that wasn’t brought up in the series so I’m not counting it

I don’t think I would have left as satisfied with the culprit Eden route. I bet the dev could’ve made it work and I’ll respect their decisions because it’s their story and characters and not mine

I am so excited to see where this story goes /gen

But yeah, just a small ramble. I’m having so many thoughts right now about the show/chapter 2 /pos

I could probably phrase all of this better but it’s almost midnight so who cares

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 16

Chapter 16 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Maddie gets convinced to stay by Buck. The two of them reconcile and share pieces of themselves the other has missed out on. Though they still keep things to themselves too.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slow burn)

Warnings: referenced domestic violence, emotionally abusive parents mention, misogyny mention, homophobia mention

~~~

Chapter 16: Abuela’s Roommate

When Buck comes home after speaking to Maddie at Abuela’s house, he feels emotionally drained and exhausted. He missed Chris’s bed time and he mourns that fact now, though he’s also glad he just gets to drop on the couch next to Eddie with a groan.

Eddie frowns in concern. He knows Buck is happy to have Maddie back again, could see it waft off him the whole shift. Had Chris slipping up really put such a dent in his mood? Was he embarrassed about admitting everything to his sister? Did she say something about it to Buck that she didn’t to him? What happened?

He quickly stuffs all those feelings down, poking Buck in the side as he gruffly asks: “What’s up with you?”

“I think Maddie is homophobic about our non-gay gay marriage,” Buck says, voice muffled by the pillow.

“What?”

Buck un-buries his face slightly and repeats: “I think Maddie is homophobic about our non-gay gay marriage.”

“Are you sure? She seemed pretty okay with it when I spoke to her. She was nice,” Eddie frowns.

“She didn’t talk about any of it. She didn’t even mention Chris. Like at all! It’s as if she was not saying anything on purpose,” Buck says. “And of course she’s nice. Your family is hosting her.”

Eddie’s frown deepens. “She really didn’t mention Chris? That’s weird. She told me we have an adorable son and that he loves his two dads. When I told her no one knew, she seemed understanding and nice.”

“Wait,” Buck comes out of his hiding place on the couch. “What did you say. Like exactly? Word for word?”

“Uh, she thanked me, then said that Abuela was nice and that we have an adorable son, though I suppose the you can be just me. That he loves his two dads,” Eddie repeats. “I panicked a bit, so she said my name and then I told her she can’t tell anyone to which she said that she wouldn’t.”

“Okay, but my name was never mentioned? And you didn’t say what she can’t tell anyone?” he asks for clarification, a small hope bubbling up in his chest. He always wants to believe the best of people, especially Maddie.

“You think she didn’t realize the other dad is you?” Eddie says, picking up what he’s putting down.

“Maybe,” Buck shrugs.

“That’s good then, right? You didn’t want to tell her yet anyway.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m wrong?”

“Do you think you’re wrong?”

“I mean, no, but I don’t know,” Buck sighs, rubbing his face. “I haven’t seen her in years, Eddie. I love her, but I don’t know her anymore. And she doesn’t know me…”

They’re quiet for a moment and Eddie has a thoughtful expression on his face. Buck gives him time to think it all over. In the end, Eddie just asks: “So what do you want to do?”

“Huh?”

“She’s your sister. What do you want to do?”

Now it’s Buck turn to think about it. When it came down to Helena and Ramon, he always let Eddie make the final call. Same when they moved here and it came to Abuela and tía Pepa, he’d been prepared to never be introduced to them should Eddie want. With Maddie it’s his family and his call. That still feels weird. Having family here.

But it’s a good weird, the kind of weird he wants to get used to until it’s normal. Maddie says she’s just passing through, but Buck wants her to stay. He’d do anything to get her to stay.

And despite saying he doesn’t know her, he does. He knows she is one of the kindest people he has ever known, that she has always been in his corner, even when it would have been better for her not to be. She’s as protective as they come. If she thought he was married, she’d corner him and question him until she was satisfied.

It’s most likely scenario. The reality he wants to believe in. However, he selfishly also doesn’t want to risk finding out he’s wrong. Not yet.

“I say we let it be,” he finally decides. The coward’s way out. “If she doesn’t know already, she’ll find out eventually and if she already knows, she knows not to talk now. Let’s not confirm or deny until we know what she’s going to do.”

He holds his breath waiting what Eddie thinks of his decision. If he’ll judge Buck for not wanting to make sure, for giving her space, even if he might be wrong. But Eddie just says: “Okay,” easily. “Are we going to tell Chris not to talk?”

“Nah, he already has and I don’t want to teach him to be ashamed of us. Even if we aren’t actually gay, we’re still two men raising him,” Buck says.

“Agreed,” Eddie nods.

Then Buck realizes something and he says: “If it is the misunderstanding we think it is, you realize that Maddie thinks that you’re gay, right?”

“It’s not the first time someone’s assumed that,” Eddie replies, rolling his eyes. It’s something he’s gotten used to. The army knowing he is married to a man hardened him a little to the assumptions and after the so manieth comment, he stopped bothering to correct people. They’ll think what they want, Eddie knows better. He’s not gay, so it’s not true what they think anyway.

Buck studies him for a moment, just to be sure. He himself is actually gay – well, bi – but Eddie isn’t and he’s from a macho culture. Ramon at least seems to think even being non-gayly married to a man is affront to not only Eddie’s, but Ramon’s masculinity as well.

However, Eddie truly doesn’t seem to care. It makes Buck feel a little warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that Eddie will have his back.

With that confirmed and cleared up, he goes back to the logistics. When Eddie took the job at the 118 neither of them could have predicted the kind of web they would be caught up in, but it’s a little too late to back out now.

Out loud Buck muses: “It might be easier if I don’t drive Chris to and from Abuela while Maddie is staying there.” It’ll put that chore on Eddie, so he checks: “Is that okay?”

“Course,” Eddie smiles.

Buck doesn’t know what he did to deserve Eddie. Eddie, who trusts him with his son, who lets him fit into his life however he can at the time. Eddie, who doesn’t care if Buck is being weird about telling his sister about their not-gay gay marriage. Who wants Chris to not be homophobic, even if he really has no stakes in it. Who doesn’t care if people assume things about him even if it would be easier for him if they didn’t.

He’d say he could kiss Eddie, but that’s not an uncommon feeling. However, it’s more on the foreground than it usually is, watching Eddie comfortably sprawled over on the couch, talking with him about raising Chris and the shape of their family.

God, some days Buck wants this to be permanent, wants to be real so bad. He knows he’s greedy, but he can’t help but want more. Want to be able to lean in and kiss Eddie. It doesn’t even have to be a full blown make out session that can lead to more, he wants the domesticity of a simple kiss as thanks just as badly. Sometimes more badly, even. He wants to share his life with Eddie in every way, wants to wear a ring on his finger and have it mean something other than convenience. Wants it to mean being wanted, never being left.

But dwelling on those things is never good. The more he lets himself dwell, the deeper he’ll fall and the harder it’ll be to ignore. He needs to prevent falling in too deep, so he can keep holding on.

“Wanna watch the next episode of that telenovella we started?” he asks to deflect.

Which might not be the smartest move, since Eddie loves them and Buck only gets invested, because Eddie is and now Eddie is sending him a beaming grin, before excitedly grabbing the remote. It’s adorable as fuck and Buck wants to scream into a pillow.

Fortunately, Buck is well versed in acting normal around Eddie when he secretly wants to squish his cheeks, maybe gnaw on his arm a little to get it all out. So, Eddie doesn’t notice.

Once the TV is on, the excitement of today catches up with Buck and he watches the show through half lidded eyes. Mostly following due to Eddie’s reactions and rants. It’s nice. Soothing. He falls asleep right there without his permission.

Some undesignated time later, Eddie is waking him up. Softly shaking his arm as he whispers: “Buck. Buck, you gotta wake up. If you sleep here, you’ll have a crick in the neck.”

“Hngn, couch is comfy,” he murmurs, burrowing his head into the back of the couch again to hide away from the shaking.

Eddie lets out an amused huff, before shaking him again: “Come on, you ass. Don’t make me drag you to the bathroom and force a toothbrush in your mouth.”

“But if I brush my teeth, I’ll have to be awake again,” Buck protests with a pout.

“And if you don’t brush your teeth, you’ll get cavities and I will take the money to fix that out of your little treat budget,” Eddie threatens, using the knowledge Buck shared against him.

“Ugh, you’re so mean,” Buck complains as he drags himself off the couch, glaring at a smug looking Eddie as he follows him to the bathroom so they can brush their teeth side by side.

In the end, he’s a little glad to have been woken up for this. Somehow brushing his teeth next to Eddie is one of his favorite things. It’s silly, he knows, but there is something so intimate and domestic about it and it sends a pleasant flutter through his stomach every time.

With their teeth brushed, they bid each other goodnight, before parting ways to climb into their respective beds. As predicted, Buck is awake again now and he spends the whole night tossing and turning, reconsidering his choice, then arguing himself into it again.

So he’s a little groggy when a small weight launches itself onto the bed, despite usually being a morning person. He groans: “Morning, Chris.”

“Good morning, papi,” Chris grins way too brightly for the early hour. Ugh, childhood chipperness, if he is anything like Eddie, he’ll grow out of it come teenagehood. But for now, Chris is here, pulling at his arm, while Buck tries to burrow deeper into his pillow. “Can you make pancakes?”

“Go ask daddy, he’s on breakfast duty,” Buck tells him, already sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, knowing what will come next.

“But daddy can’t make pancakes,” Chris whines as expected.

“And it’s a school day. You know we said no pancakes on school days,” Buck reminds him.

“It’s a stupid rule and you break it all the time,” Chris protests. And he’s right too. Buck is a weak man and he knows he works on weekends from time to time, so he makes them on school days too, because then he has time. So, it is technically a rule, but not an enforced one.

“Alright, alright, I’ll make pancakes,” he caves, because of course he does. “Go wake daddy.” Even if Eddie is gonna go back to sleep after breakfast, he’d want to kiss Chris good day.

“Okay,” Chris says brightly, before climbing out of Buck’s bed to go barge into Eddie’s room.

Buck watches him go with a smile, before getting out of bed and pulling on the clothes he finds first on the chair of limbo. Since he is in uniform for work often, he doesn’t wear his clothes long enough for them to get laundry dirty, so they live on the chair until he has a day off again. He always gets clothes that go with all his other clothes, so he can just pull on whatever.

When he’s dressed, he goes to the kitchen. Chris is already there, he had heard banging on Eddie’s door, but it seems Chris didn’t go in, too excited about pancakes to properly wake Eddie when he can go in the kitchen to talk Buck into making chocolate chip pancakes.

He is about to pour the first of the batter in the pan when Eddie comes stumbling in, still in his pajamas and his hair a mess. Chris gives him a big smile as he informs him: “Papi’s making pancakes.”

“Yes,” Eddie cheers, lighting up and waking up more at the news. The love for pancakes is something the two Diaz’s share and it’s adorable.

Still, Buck sends him a deadpan look, making Eddie rub the back of head sheepishly. Then Buck grins and shakes his head fondly. “Good morning. There’s coffee in the pot.”

“You’re the best,” Eddie tells him, pouring the coffee and gratefully cradling the warm mug. Noting that Buck is dressed, he asks: “You driving Chris to school?”

“Yeah, gonna swing by Abuela after, see how Maddie is,” Buck answers.

Eddie gives him an understanding nod, but they don’t continue on about the topic, instead turning to Chris and asking what is he going to do at school today.

Breakfast is a pleasant affair and after Eddie gives Chris a kiss on the head, wishing him a good day, before returning to bed, like Buck had predicted. Buck himself does as he said, driving Chris to school, before going to Abuela’s house.

Abuela opens with a smile and hugs him. After they’ve said their hellos, she tells him he has a lovely sister, which is both nice to hear because he wants Maddie to be liked and Abuela probably wouldn’t like her if she’d said anything homophobic.

He doesn’t know that both have been avoiding the husband topic out of politeness. Abuela still isn’t sure if she can say and Maddie thinks that while Abuela knows, her generation means that she prefers not to mention it. So they exist in a limbo outside of it, having bonded over different topics instead.

Maddie is out in the back garden and Abuela gives the two some privacy to catch up. So, he joins her with some tea, handing a cup to her too as he says: “Looks like you two are getting along. She might just adopt you and not let you leave.”

“I’m probably not going to stick around long enough for that to happen,” Maddie replies, smiling to look disarming, as if she is joking, but there is a tightness to that smile and a tension to her posture that sets Buck’s teeth on edge.

She is trying to hide, trying to run. Before Buck let her and he regrets it so much. He can’t let her do it again. He won’t. So he says: “Why not? Maddie, what really happened with Doug? Why are you running away from him?”

“No,” she’s shaking her head, almost moving as if to leave. “I’m not gonna bring my little brother into this.”

And he already kind of knew, but this only confirms it. It also only solidifies his resolve to keep her close. “Standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I want to be standing. Maddie,” his voice turns from fierce to almost pleading, “are you in some kind of danger?”

Apparently almost a decade of no face to face contact has not hardened her to his pleading eyes, because she sags back in her chair and sighs: “The stuff that mom and dad hated about him, that you picked up on even as a teenager, it all got worse. Much worse over the last year or so.”

She swallows thickly, tears gathering in her eyes. Buck wants to comfort her, but doesn’t dare breathe or move for fear that she’ll stop finally telling him what’s been happening.

“When I threatened to leave, he threatened to kill me.” Her voice breaks properly now, the mask of strength chipped away to nothing. “And he meant it.”

Fucking hell.

Buck wants to get on the first plane to Pennsylvania and give Doug a piece of mind. Preferably with his fists. But Buck knows he’s not a fighter and that will end badly, not to mention that it’s not what Maddie needs right now. And what Maddie needs is far more important than anything Buck wants to do to Doug. So, he just holds out his hand, waiting for her to grab it, before he squeezes softly in support.

The gesture earns him a watery smile, before Maddie continues: “You know, when women in abusive relationships used to come into the hospital, I got to be honest, I would pass judgment. Like, why don’t you just leave him? Now I get it. It’s like you can’t even believe it’s happening.”

“But you broke free,” he reminds her, finally speaking. “And I’m proud of you.” Because he is and she needs to know that, but she also needs to know that she doesn’t have to be alone, so he tells her that too.

Looking at her face, she isn’t entirely convinced. She looks as if she wants to believe him, but can’t imagine that such a thing is true.

It breaks Buck’s heart and he is quick to suggest. “You should stay. Here. With Abuela and me and the 118, alright? Abuela loves you and otherwise I have room, I promise you can always ask. You’ll get my room, I’ll take the couch. All the privacy you want. And if Doug comes looking, then- then I know a lot of cops.”

At that Maddie gives him a small smile, eyes hopeful, and that is all Buck can ask for, especially when those eyes turn determined. “He won’t,” she says. “He doesn’t know you live here. He doesn’t know what you do. It’s a real benefit to being married to someone who doesn’t ask any questions.”

It’s a weak attempt at lightheartedness, but Buck doesn’t challenge it, instead matching her smile. He has permission to cling to her now. “Okay, that’s perfect. You can start over. I can help you. I can help get you a great nursing job at one of the hospitals.”

“No.” The answer surprises him and he’s sure his whole body pauses. Maddie explains: “I really miss helping people, but I can’t do that job every day, looking over my shoulder, wondering who’s walking through the front door.”

“Okay,” Buck nods thoughtfully, mind whirring. “So you want to help people, but not deal with them face to face.” He is neck deep in the helping people business – in all facets of that job – so he should come up with something. It hits him. “Yeah,” he grins. “I think I might have an idea.”

Maddie gives him a skeptical look, much like when she still lived at home and Buck had another idea for an afternoon activity that ‘will totally be so fun. Maddie, please, come on.’

“9-1-1 dispatcher,” Buck reveals proudly, a little smug when Maddie skepticism gets replaced by surprised delight.

“9-1-1 dispatcher,” she repeats, sounding it out and testing it on her tongue. “That sounds… interesting.”

“It is, they’re integral to the entire first responder system,” Buck says excitedly. “I interact with them every day. They make sure everything keeps running and keep people calm until we get there, they help them through the emergency before we can reach them. You’d be great at it.”

He is so excited about the idea and Maddie’s heart melts a little. She has missed Evan. Missed her little brother.

All these years she missed him, worried about him, clung to every card she got, hoping they’d never stop, because they were the only thing holding her together. Actually seeing them is the equivalent to the temporary studs being replaced by structural repairs.

She has always been his protector, but he’s always been her comforter. When she was fighting with her parents, he’d cuddle up with her, and when she was angry with Doug as a teen, he was there to try and cheer her up.

Evan has always been a helper. He’d stand next to her in the kitchen, watching her make a sandwich with big eyes and handing her the peanut butter jar. He’d tell their parents Maddie stayed with him after a nightmare, when she’d snuck out with friends. He’d given her an offer to get out, before it got worse than it ended up being and kept reaching out, even when she didn’t come with him.

And here he is, years later, still reaching out, still covering for her to her parents, still handing her what she needs. She loves him for it. She loves him so much.

The love she feels for him bubbles up in her and she pulls him into a big hug as she fiercely whispers: “Thank you so much. Thank you, Evan.”

“Of course,” he whispers back, holding her back equally tightly and equally fierce. And for as long as she needs him to.

When she lets go, she clears her throat. Even after everything she just told him, she wants to be strong and not cry on him. So, she says: “So. Uhm, what’s the Buck all about?”

“Oh, well,” Evan blushes, “it’s a nickname. There were a lot of Evan’s in my class at the fire academy. It kinda stuck,” he explains, then softly he adds: “I like it.”

It’s quiet and vulnerable, despite being so simple. She remembers Evan being yelled in the house, loaded with the heavy disappoint of not being someone else. How he has always shrank away from it, unless it was her saying it. Being Buck instead of Evan looks good on him, she wishes she could have been there to see him grow into himself, but she guesses she just has to learn to live with the ache of finding out about all the things she missed out on when she let him walk away.

Her smile is probably a little watery, but her voice is strong as she says: “I like it too. Buck.” And the blinding grin she gets in reply is worth everything she missed out on, because he is here now in front of her. Happy. Happy looks so good on him too. It hurts that it’s an unfamiliar expression on his familiar face.

They continue to catch up in Abuela’s back garden. She learns a lot about the people she met yesterday, surprised when Buck mentions Eddie started recently, with how easily he offered his grandmother’s house, she assumed he must have known them all for a while already now.

It’s also clear to her that her little brother is a little enamored with the man. He hasn’t mentioned anything about his sexuality to her. Another thing she missed out on.

She is already planning for the inevitable heartbreak when Eddie feels comfortable enough sharing that he has a husband. A husband who isn’t Buck. She hopes chocolate ice cream is still his favorite, that that hasn’t changed in all these years. That she still knows pieces of him.

Besides that, she gets some extra information on Chimney, the cute firefighter from the station she saw briefly. It’s not that she is going to do anything, she isn’t even sure she’s going to see more of Buck’s coworkers (other than Eddie, of course), but she wants to know anyway. So she has a better picture to fantasize.

Maddie has gotten really good at fantasizing to cope and Chimney is definitely someone she wants to fantasize about. He sounds like a good guy. She can use a good guy.

By the time Buck leaves, he feels less like a stranger she used to know and more like her baby brother. Plus, she has a job and a ride for her first day. Maddie has stopped having hope or being optimistic years ago, but something about Buck makes her want to try again. The smile doesn’t leave her face the whole day.

~~

A/N:

If I think about the Buckley siblings for too long, I go insane, istg.

Also their little lie getting out of control is so iconic to me, I love writing stories where one small thing gets out of hand and them not just ripping the band aid with Maddie now, is the beginning of the end xp

[more-than-tender-curiosity]

I know Jay has a history withDan Cody but I cannot for the life of me remember much about that man other than the fact that he died at see. If that is true, would Jay, after acquiring wealth, make a tombstone for him? Place flowers and such? Or would he bury that part of him. The past of him and Dan Cody?

Putting this under readmore because it's gonna be a doozy. Spoilers for Gatsby as well

Okay so. One thing I will remind you of is that Jay never really intended for anyone to know about Dan. His only remnant of the man is that one photograph and he hung it up on the wall in his bedroom, where I'm sure he never expected anyone to see it, at least not to a point where he'd have to explain. I don't think Jay was exactly bringing home anybody to his bedroom (until he got back with Daisy, of course)

Remember when Jay had Nick and Daisy over, and they noticed the photo of Dan (and the one of Jay from the same time), he brushed over it pretty fast. Told Nick that Dan used to be 'his best friend' and that he was dead now, and the moment Daisy latched on to that, he instantly distracted her with his weird ass scrapbooks. It wasn't until after everything blew up in his face that Jay told Nick, and only Nick, about everything.

Obviously for Gatsby I explore their relationship much further. I personally believe (through my years of research into Jay's characterization through the various drafts of this book and the original version of Absolution where it becomes clear that men of a certain persuasion think very much of Jay's good looks, even when he was too young to be viewed as attractive to any healthy person.

Dan was of course an unhealthy man. We know for a fact that he was an alcoholic, and that he was violent but Jay had put it past him/possibly forgiven him if not simply tucked the trauma away so he didn't have to inspect it (chapter nine, "...only the picture of Dan Cody, a token of forgotten violence, staring down from the wall.") That particular quote could simply refer to the violence of the Old West that Dan brought with him, but given again Absolution and Jay's constant involvement with powerful, violent older men, and his desperate pursuit of a woman like Daisy who he presumed to be soft and sweet and totally unable to hurt him, (thus making the irony of the situation that much worse when she contributes however unintentionally to his death) I believe it also refers to the violence Dan inflicted upon Jay during those five years aboard the Tuolomee.

Obviously I have my own opinions about things like Jay's sexuality and why he was so twisted up and obsessive and desperate. Much of what I believe is taken directly from fact and stretched out through interpolation of those facts, looked through a modern lens to an image of masculinity in the years Fitzgerald wrote the books. I think Jay was gay, slipped himself into a sexuality of convenience to further his ideal of a Perfect American Man, and had his wires crossed by his father's behavior so that he searched out a father that loved him—only to be met with another monster who only saw value in him when he gave up his own humanity.

Dan was, of course, that monster. In Gatsby, once we get to 1922, Jay will be wholeheartedly unable to confront the true nature of his relationship with that man. He spent so long believing it was purely romantic and that he had 'cured' Dan of his alcoholism by being good and loving someone who needed to be loved just like he did (with that notion of reciprocating saviorship following him through every other failed relationship not just through Daisy—trying to save her from having to be married off to someone she doesn't love but really just trying to undo the fact that that had, in a way, been done to him—but even to Nick, who is so unable to face himself until, possibly, when it's too late and Jay is dead) that by then, after so many years of his notion of love being clouded by want of Daisy, he's constantly on the cusp of admitting to himself that Dan abused him and he'd 'submitted to it' but he cannot fully accept that fact because if Dan didn't love him, and Daisy doesn't love him, and Nick never will—why the fuck is he even bothering?

Dan has a monument. A beautiful one, actually. A big marble tomb on the grounds of the home he used to share with Ella Kaye, bounded on each side by young willows and seasonal flowers and a plaque written by the woman who would have been his wife. The woman who killed him. Jay got to visit it just once, and spoke with Ella about what happened and why she took Dan from him, and he doesn't want to understand her reasoning because then he has to admit that he had it infinitely worse than her and never had the guts to admit it to himself. Never did anything about it. That tomb—it's a monument to his cowardice, to every opportunity he passed up in his desperation to find someone who loved him.

The photo is enough. Dan still shares a room with him just like he's still there in every 'old sport' and he's always there with his hands on Jay's shoulders any time he goes out on the hydroplane. Some things never change. Jay never stops being 17 and desperate. Nothing went wrong.

The photo is enough.

...

Also, Dan didn't die at sea. He died in Boston, likely either onboard the Tuolomee in the Harbor or, as I assumed, in the city, and Jay wasn't informed because no one knew Dan had left anyone but Ella behind.

[dashielldeveron]

okay i just gotta talk about bnha's ending

and what i thought was gonna happen based on the way the narrative had been setting things up.

some light bnha meta. spoilers obviously.

i will preface with i am not concerned with ships. i would be fine with whatever, really, because ultimately, i am my favourite characters' girlfriend (and you are your fave's significant other, etc.). moving on.

1) the first major red flag for me, as a writer, was when we barely spent any time at all at shigaraki's childhood home with dark!deku. it signalled that midoriya wasn't going to fully understand what was going on with shigaraki and therefore lose some nuance/meaning to [what i thought was going to be] shigaraki's redemption. by only having the audience understand shig's tragedy but not midoriya, midoriya is not making a fully informed decision and therefore his choices weigh a bit less.

1a) additionally, with dark!deku, it sets us up to have a thorough examination of shig/deku mirroring each other. doesn't really happen. and midoriya's getting his arms back within one chapter takes away from the overarching motif of taking someone's hand to finally accept help. like captain kirk once said, the three most beautiful words in the universe are "please help me." this could've been a chance for deku to ask for help from shig or the vestiges and further blur the line between villains and heroes.

2) when nana shimura holds shigaraki--this is probably the most confusing narrative decision from my perspective, because i figured we were about to go into OFA with both shig and deku, have some sort of glorious discussion over a fight about what a hero is and saving yourself and accepting help and friendship and stuff, but we just...don't. we don't go see all the vestiges with shigaraki. i thought that was what we were building up to, this ultimate scene with all the OFA users and shig all in the same place, accepting shig as someone who was used/abused and could still move on. i fully thought this would happen and that some unfamilar, bodily form of tenko would be spat out after the discussion, a tenko who's shoved off all shreds of AFO and can begin as solely himself.

instead we get that weird-as-fuck evaporation scene where shigaraki still wanted to fight. which is weird to me, because i haven't read shigaraki as wanting to fight for a long, long time. i've been reading him as wanting to rest.

3) i didn't want toga to die, but i could feel it coming bc "bury your gays" pervades pop media. but holy shit. not even on screen? the last scene seems to set uraraka and toga up to sacrifice each other for the other, and i figured they'd survive, though both severely injured. toga's death (and other villain deaths/putting away in a box) feels contradictory to the story's themes of saving people, that anyone can change to be anything they want. killing/punishing the villains seems to be saying that villains will always be villains, and even if they showed some remorse, they have to die, because they did bad stuff once.

4) touya is more of that "punishing bc he's a villain" stuff. uh. okay. narratively, he seems to be alive to show endeavor's regret. okay. a better way of showing this would be to have touya medically healing and have endeavor supporting him every step of the recuperation. (not that i would personally want this, bc i don't think endeavor's shown enough growth to do this.) and like. how it is now, with endeavor saying that no one has to talk to him, but he's gonna come visit touya and how the others are going to visit touya as well--it feels like they're arguing over who gets touya in the divorce lol (well, it would be lol, except they're dehumanising/objectifying touya again).

4a) why set up the soba eating with touya/shouto if we're not going to see it. why do that, hori. why would you

5) the timeskip to the hospital was jarring. we spend over a year in this one battle, and then we don't see it wrap up. we're left with questions about characters that could've been answered here, in this moment, in the transitional period of getting everyone medical help.

6) okay this is me being very selfish, but as someone with a focus in disability studies, i'd like to know more about everyone's recuperation. mostly, you'd FUCKING THINK that once they're at the hospital, they'd be able to get a whole-ass edgeshot out of bakugou. that's unfair to both of them. edgeshot was taking the place of medical equipment on the battlefield, so why not replace him with actual medical equipment now that bakugou is safe? we also spend a bit talking about bakugou's damaged arm, so why don't we see him working with it?

7) weird amount of focus on new students. i understand some focus, because setting up the new generation, and all, but since hero society appears to be exactly the same, it means significantly less to set them up to be better than the mistakes this generation made. since society/worldbuilding isn't changing in a major way, the audience desire is primarily to see what's happening with the characters we care about. so this feels unsatisfying.

8) also. attached to point 2 about shigaraki being redeemed. hero society should be changed. there should be a new status quo about what being a hero means and how the whole system works in light of this knowledge. shigaraki, touya, spinner, and toga should be alive and out there doing other stuff, showing that you can grow past what you've gone through. deku should still be out there doing "hero stuff" regardless of quirk/power, because of his character and fortitude.

why the hell is the ending message that anyone with power can be a hero instead of the obvious (and more moral) moral of anyone with courage/determination/"my body moved on its own" to help others, as deku did, can be a hero, regardless of birth or status. it was right there!!!! how was this sidestepped!!!

9) no bookend to spinner? no spinner? babe. i'm not even the greatest fan of spinner, and it feels like we left him unfinished.

10) scratch that. it all feels unfinished. rushed. did something happen to end it this way?

anyway. thanks for reading. i'm confused about the writing choices.

TL;DR: recent narrative decisions make no sense based on what the manga has set up for us, particularly the evaporation/death of shigaraki bc it contradicts the message that anyone can be a hero, regardless of your past, and that it's okay to ask for help.

[goliig68]

19 days fic rec

Recommending some of my favourite fics cuz why not! (With no particular order! I'm just starting from the first fic I read until the recent one)

I'm Not A Prostitute by traceytries

( E | 137,970 | 21/? )

He Tian and Red become fuckbuddies. This is an excuse for a whole lot of sexy times and the eventual feelings that come with it.

Note: my comfort fic for real❤ ( ch 10, 20 and 21 screaming at me BITCH WHAT COMFORT????) no but seriously, I really love this fic, a great combination of smut, angst and feelings. Would 100% recommend it 👌

nothing's gonna hurt you, baby by powerandpathos

( M | 50,318 | 7/7 )

Guan Shan's father leaves his family for work in New York at the beginning of the First World War — and is never heard from again.

In the autumn of 1928, thirteen years later, Guan Shan makes his own way to lower Manhattan's Little China to find him, with only the name of the man who signed his father's contract.

When he finds himself falling into the world of America's Roaring Twenties and Tong Wars, and everyone he meets is not quite as they seem, finding his father turns out to be much more complicated than he’d thought.

Note: this fic is a novel quality, like God I'm speechless. I love all the 30s vibe I got from this fic. I love everything about this fic. plot, dialogues and characterization everything about it is awesome.

Aphorism by powerandpathos

( E | 124,529 | 38/38 )

Jian Yi fell back into Zhengxi's life as if he had never gone; He Tian wanted Guan Shan in his and for him to never leave. But this isn't middle school, and they are no longer children, and nothing is that simple anymore.

Note: so angsty, so beautiful. A true masterpiece. I really cannot explain with words that how beautiful this fic is. I really loved how peaceful ending was. Just read it you won't regret it.

unstoppable force // immovable object by welcome2atlantis

( M | 78,173 | 9/? )

Mo Guanshan's latest contractual obligation is He Tian, mafia brat and resident pain in the ass. Only, it's less Mo working security, and more Mo playing nanny and trying to out stubborn his client.

or

Bodyguard!Mo suffers through He Tian's antics and accidentally falls for him in the process.

Note: a funny but also angsty story. I really love the interaction between characters, they really close to the canon (in my opinion) basically he tian is insufferable and guan shan suffers from that 😂 but also guan shan is gay and he tian is sexy and again guan shan suffers from that😂😂 some mental health issues will be discussed in this fic, so be warned if it triggers you.

Still Tripping Over You by AtomicNebula13

( E | 13,733 | 2/2 )

“Little Mo, don't drink anymore.”

The words fall on deaf ears as the slimmer man tries to keep his hold on the bottle but He Tian manages to wrestle it from him, causing some of the liquor to dribble down the redheads chin and neck. Mo stumbles a bit, unsteady on his feet but He Tian's arm wraps around his back to help him regain his balance.

“Stop drinking okay?” He Tian whispers into Mo's ear, knowing that if he doesn't stop him, the other man will most likely get sick. Mo is already sure to have a raging hangover tomorrow.

Bracing himself for harsh words or for Mo to push him away, he is taken aback when Mo clutches onto him, burying his flushed face into He Tian's neck.

Words are slurred out, muffled by his position so He Tian has to hold Mo closer to catch them.

“Chicken dick He... came back?”

Note: a hot, sexy, smuty fic🔥🔥 I'm shamelessly hoping something like this happens in the next Xmas chapter but china's censorship laws...😒 anyway! Just read it, the sex scene is very hot and detailed!

doubtful redemptions by figglypudding

( E | 20,979 | 2/5 )

“I won’t pepper you with personal questions. I won’t offer unsolicited advice or judgment. And I’ll play by your rules.”

His hand slid up from Mo’s wrist to wrap around his angry fist, bringing it towards him until its knuckles rested against his curving mouth. “And in exchange, you'll allow me to show you what it’s like to have a client that actually cares about your pleasure.”

*FORMERLY TITLED these violent delights*

Note: a dark and agsty au. I really love the description of characters, places, surroundings and everything and I'm really curious to know how the relationship between he tian and mo will develop! Please pay attention to tags and author's notes, when I said it's a dark au I really mean it! (Please check out author's other works in 19 days fandom! They are all great, and author has a great talent in writing hot and detailed smut scenes 🔥👌)

Found in Translation by mgsdays (regencyaus)

( T | 11,890 | 1/1 )

They meet on a train, going through a rural area in China. He Tian's feeling disillusioned with his brother and is running from the business meeting he's supposed to be in in Shanghai. That's about the time the hot redhead enters the train car and sits opposite him, murmured 'scuse me falling quietly from his lips.

One problem. Well, two: the guy is on the wrong seat. He Tian knows that he is because He Tian bought out every seat in the train car. He has no way to let the guy know that, considering He Tian doesn't speak a word of Chinese besides ni hao and his own name.

Which leads to problem two: redhead is breathtaking, fucking beautiful, and has an attitude to boot, and He Tian really, truly needs to make out with him, which will be difficult, considering, yeah, He Tian doesn't speak a word of Chinese besides ni hao and his own name.

He has a few hours on this train. It's going to be a long ride.

Note: so cute and wholesome💞 I was smiling the whole time reading it. I literally laughed when he tian was trying to show mo that they should kiss😂 really loved it!

lanterns on the lake by powerandpathos

( T | 17,760 | 1/1)

‘Will you kiss me?’

He Tian’s mouth opens, and he searches Guan Shan’s face, looking for something. He hasn’t taken a single step forward.

‘You’re really drunk,’ he says eventually.

‘So you won’t.’

‘Ah, fuck. Guan Shan.’ He chuckles without humour and scratches the back of his neck. ‘Listen to yourself—you barely let me touch you in case someone sees and now you want me to kiss you? That doesn’t make sense. It makes me feel a bit used, to be honest.’

Guan Shan pulls on a defiant expression. ‘Do you care?’

‘You won’t like me if I say no, so I’m going to say nothing.’

Note: oh man, wish I could add every fic written by powerandpathos here... this fic is so amazing, so angsty. I nearly fucking cried, I couldn't with all of feelings put in this fic, like, oh my god. Just read it, That's all I have to say.

fire and the flood by fayre

( M | 33,643 | 5/35 )

At this point, Guan Shan is no longer sure if it’s in his nature or if it’s been nurtured by the war.

After all, you can only nurture the best of the best when the world is slowly coming to a fucking end.

 or: Pacific Rim AU, in which Guan Shan is a hopeless recruit, He Tian is a legacy more than anyone can handle, and the world is crashing down around their ears faster than they can process. It's a matter of finding something worth fighting for — but their futures are slipping through their fingers with every passing minute.

Note: this is like...my all time favourite au. Just seeing the "Pacific rim au" made me drop whatever I was doing and read this for the rest of day. And now I'm HOOKED and I'm thinking about this fic every day. I Don't know if author has any plans continuing this fic or no so enjoy what there is for now :')

True north by fayre

( M | 34,946 | 4/? )

“Do you think I’ll kill you?”

He Tian swallows. Says, “Not particularly.”

A pause. The night swallows them whole, relentless, and He Tian wishes it’d do a better job at hiding the expression Guan Shan shows him now.

“Do you think I should?” Guan Shan asks him.

“That’s not my decision to make.”

“But it was,” Guan Shan says, voice rough. “That night. I think you should’ve killed me. I think it would’ve been easier.”

And He Tian, staring at the ceiling, his spine digging into the floorboards, and far too aware of those amber eyes piercing him through the dark, says: “I think so, too.”

Note: a shapeshifter, historical fantasy au. I think about this fic every day too :') I'm literally dying to know how the relationship between he tian and guan would develop. Between two enemies who only know how to interact with their claws and arrows.

Vulnerability by powerandpathos

( E | 7,811 | 1/1 )

He Tian and Guan Shan try something new (aka bottom!He Tian)

Note: I know that not everyone are a big fan of bottom!He tian, but if you're like me, like to see he tian in vulnerable and submissive positions, then this fic is for you😈

desecration by fayre

( M | 29,719 | 5/11 )

It couldn’t have meant so little, stardust in the face of planets. It couldn’t have meant so little because, if it did, Guan Shan would no longer be able to recognize himself as the person he became in the aftermath. He’d be hollowed out, stripped of the lessons learned and the perspectives changed like loose threads on a tapestry being pulled apart. He couldn’t bear the thought that all of this — the fighting, the understanding, the falling, the loss, the violent and unceremonious unearthing — had been for nothing.

It was too painful to have been for nothing.

 or: seven years later, he tian and jian yi return home. everyone has some healing to do.

Note: forget everything from Xmas special chapters. This is, this is the shit. This is the real angsty shit. That kind of angst that breaks your heart and you can hear the shattering. I have to check the tags every time to make sure it's happy ending😭 ( read everything written by fayre, all of their fics are beautiful and well written)

fairy tales by powerandpathos

( M | 18,001 | 1/1 )

‘You’re looking for a way out,’ he says quietly. ‘You think I’m everythin’ you're not. Free to say what I want, be where I want to be. None of it’s real.’

‘You make it easy to feel like it is.’

Guan Shan nods. Knowing he’s only met Prince He Tian three times, and knowing the truth of it is inexplicable, he says, ‘So do you.’

Note: AHHHH I really love this fic, it's really beautiful🥹💞 Prince!he tian falling in love with guan shan at the first sight. It's a beautiful royalty au.

I hold you, you hold me by Asfodel

( T | 4,434 | 1/1 )

He Tian, tall, handsome, dapper He Tian could be considered great in a lot of areas. People around him praised his manners, his perfect grades, his hand writing was neat, he was athletic, eloquent, charming and self-aware enough to be absurdly confident. Guan Shan would add that he was also excellent at being a pain in the ass.

Sleeping, however, wasn’t his forte.

-

Or He Tian has nightmares but he also has Guan Shan.

Note: this fic is really beautiful, wholesome and lovely 😭💞💞 it's also very underrated, please go read it, it literally swooned my heart ❤

Aaaand that's all! I wanted to add every fic I've read but it's already getting too long so I added the ones I really, really liked! But please read every fic written by these authors, every each of them are great and talented authors, and they have written great fics for 19 days fandom! Thank you to all authors out there, yall are amazing and I love you😭❤🫂

[sleepingpopplio]

Toga and her happy ending

I think after taking some time to process the latest chapter I can finally verbalize what feels wrong about it. First, I think it’s really good to be hopeful that Toga isnt dead, but I also feel like a lot of the fandom right now is trying to not think about Toga being dead because if she truly is then they might end up like how I’m feeling. So, let’s just say hypothetically she is like truly, really dead without a shadow of doubt. 

Now, The first Issue I see with this writing is that it arguably goes against the themes of the story. In order to make a better society, our heroes need to be able to win AND save (hehe Bakugo and Deku at the core of the story once again). Otherwise, saving the league would feel hollow. So, Ochako DID win the fight between her and Toga by talking toga down from the edge and bringing out the goodness in her. But did she save her? 

I would argue no. 

Toga may be able to go out “her way”, but she still ends up dying before taking any further steps to heal and find her place as her authentic self within society. Ochako thinks she has a cute smile, but will everyone else? We are stripped of the negotiation process to get Toga the proper help she needs instead of throwing her in jail. We are deprived of Ochako standing up for her and helping her finally be the happy schoolgirl Toga always wanted to be, without the mask this time. We, the audience, are denied of seeing toga take accountability for her actions. Therefore, while Ochako may have saved Toga on a one-to-one level, and she still deserves credit for that btw, Toga ultimately died without witnessing society as a whole changing for the better. She was not saved— She was only helped… and is that a satisfying conclusion after years of buildup? After all the work to make Ochako come to value winning AND saving of everyone? Is that satisfying?

The fact that so many people refuse to believe Toga is dead points to this.

One more thing I would want to add here is a comparison to another member of the lead, someone that I have seen a lot of members of the fandom fight back against the notion that they should die. That character is Tomura Shigaraki. I’ve seen people say that Tomura should die in a sacrificial way in order to redeem himself, but then in response many fans push back and speak about how that wouldn’t solve any of Shigaraki’s problems and instead it would only leave shigaraki in a state of limbo in terms of reaching a satisfying and logical conclusion for him. Deku wouldn’t have achieved his goal to the fullest extent, society wouldn’t get to accept Tomura and show that even he is design of forgiveness after what he was put through, and we wouldn’t get to see how a reformed hero society would handle the league of villains moving forward. Sound familiar? My point in bringing this up is to show that it seemingly doesn’t make sense how you can argue how one villain should survive while the other should die because either way the death of one villain, even if it’s a heroic sacrifice, is still an incomplete rescue. It’s still an incomplete narrative, as it had framed itself to be a hopeful one, despite all the dark aspects. So, let’s just keep that in mind. 

My next point is going to be a heavy one, so buckle up. Let’s keep going with the hypothetical of Toga being really, truly dead, ok? Toga being dead has so many implications and undertones.  You can make an argument for, if she is the only league member that dies, how she is written in an upsetting way as both the only woman and canonically queer member of the league. Furthermore, the ‘Bury Your Gays’ trope is defined by killing off LGBTQ characters at an alarmingly higher rate than their heterosexual peers, and their death is usually because they entered some sort of queer relationship, or if someone has to die it might as well be the queer one. Am I saying that Horikoshi has malicious intent and hates queer people in stories? ABSOLUTELY NOT. DO NOT GO AND HARASS THE MAN BECAUSE IT ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING. But, there could be some internal bias because of Japanese society as a whole’s view of queer people. There also could be some push from editors to kill the queer character for this exact reason. Of course, this is all speculation and it’s not ok to jump to conclusions and assume the worst of writers. But Toga meant something to people. She meant something to queer people. If the reformed hero society could accept Toga for who she is, then wouldn’t that include her queerness? In a world where homophobia is increasing again at an alarming rate, kids need to see that being queer doesn’t mean that they have to be the “villain” in society’s eyes. Queer people deserve saving. But as my previous point discussed, Toga was not fully saved. Queer kids reading the manga will not get to see how Toga could find her sense of belonging in society while still living her truth. The queer subtext behind her relationship with Ochako will end in of of their deaths. Therefore, as someone with experience with living in a homophobic household and having to hide themselves, this does not feel like a happy ending.

Furthermore, I’m going to make another comparison just like I did in my previous point. But this time, I’m going to use a character from a different franchise that also involves superhero’s and is a heavy inspiration for Horikoshi’s writing. That character is Black Widow from the MCU. She was a beloved character, but often underutilized by the writers. The only female member of the avengers, Black Widow was often sexualized and used as the object of desire out of the bunch. She was badass, but always tied to her male counterparts. She was not allowed to exist without the other male avengers around. This was the pattern of her character writing for many years, up until Avengers: Endgame premiered. When that movie came out, Blackwidow played a key role… that role was to sacrifice herself. She did this so that her best friend, Hawkeye, wouldn’t have to sacrifice himself instead. He didn’t want her to sacrifice herself. He was fine with dying and tried to stop her. But despite his efforts, Blackwidow still sacrificed herself and died. This happened before she could get her own movie, and specifically before she could confront her past trauma and heal from it. She went out her way on her terms, but the audience still lost the vital piece of representation that she gave to the avengers and still suffered from never seeing Blackwidow’s character get to heal and overcome her pain. Does all of this once again sound familiar? Women often are the first to get hurt or die out of their hero or villain groups in the superhero genre. One good thing about Toga, however, is that she died alongside another female companion. A well written relationship between two women was front in center, instead of one between a man and woman. Despite that, however, Toga was often used as the sexualized member of the league and tended to revolve around Izuku a lot, just like Blackwidow. That is why it was amazing to see her bond with Ochako, and then devastating to have that taken away without letting the audience witness Toga’s complete healing.

Therefore, dying “your own way”, is only empowering if the female character had already had time to complete their character arc and heal their trauma in the same way that their male peers were allowed. Otherwise, it feels fake.

This chapter was overall amazingly well written. I enjoyed it a lot. Honestly, I enjoy MHA as a whole a lot!!! I’ve hyper-fixated on this story and tis characters a lot, and have a lot of faith in Horikoshi as a writer. I have no doubt that he’ll do a great job writing the other characters in this final arc give the audience a satisfying conclusion. I also hope that I’m proven wrong and somehow Toga ends up ok.

But the ending reminded me of how far writing has to go in order to accurately portray the female and queer experience, and to give such characters hopeful endings like everyone else. Toga deserves to find  acceptance. She deserves to find love from society as a whole, not just Ochako. 

Toga Himiko deserves a happy ending. Queer women deserve happy endings too.

Sorry to be a downer, everyone. If you want a more hopeful meta for this chapter, then please go check out @pikahlua’s blog because their meta on this chapter was spectacular and mind blowing.

[starglaee]

The Tortured Karate Department - Thoughts

Each song from The Tortured Poets Department applies to Cobra Kai/ Cold Hearted in some aspect. 

For context, I am a major swiftie and love Cobra Kai so much that I've written a fanfic with an OC named Zion. If you're interested it's on Wattpad, titled Cold Hearted, and my username there is the same as here. 

Anyway, I listen to this album and can't help thinking about Cobra Kai characters while I do.

Here are my thoughts. Feel free to add on if you wish!

-

Fortnight

Cobra Kai (CK): SamRobby. They were so shortlived and this is especially relevant if we go with the plot of Sam looking at Robby during the prom episode: “Your wife waters flowers. I wanna kill her.”

-

The Tortured Poets Department

Cobra Kai (CK): Amanda and Daniel because she always keeps it real with him: “This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel. We’re two idiots.”

Cold Hearted (CH): Elion (Eli and Zion) at the end of season 2 based on when he says he’ll be with her forever but this is from his POV: “At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart exploding.”

-

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys:

Cobra Kai (CK): Tory with Kreese (obviously not romantically) as he manipulates her but kind of cares: “I’m queen of sandcastles he destroys.”

Cold Hearted (CH): It’s the same but with Zion: “Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me.” (Foreshadowing for season 6?)

-

Down Bad

CK and CH: Robby, because all I can think about is at the beginning of season 4 when he was lifting weights and debating leaving: “Now I’m down bad crying at the gym. Everything comes out teenage petulance.”

-

So Long, London

CK: I’m trying to make this one fit, but honestly none of the relationships are long-term and unhealthy enough (that I can think of?) in this show to really fit Taylor’s heartbreaking writing for this song. Even finding one for Cold Hearted is difficult.

CH: I feel like this can be Zion mourning the loss of Santa Maria and in part her mom with everything suddenly in her past when she can’t take the abuse anymore. But this song isn’t really about abuse. I’d come at it more from the idea of losing the good parts of a childhood home and her moving on despite what her dad may have wanted for her. Maybe.: “I’m just mad as hell ‘cause I loved this place for so long, London. Had a good run.”

-

But Daddy I Love Him

CK: Okay, so if I had to choose I’d say this applies to season 1 Samiguel with the whole Daniel hating Miguel by association with Johnny: “Even my daddy just loves him.”

CH: I think it fits Zion and Jess well by illustrating their coming out. I know it’s not necessarily queer song and is written from the lens of a massive superstar sick of everyone weighing in on her life, but it also captures the drama of being in high school and being gay in high school specifically. It also works for Tory and Piper who are girlfriends in CH: “I’ll tell you something right now. I’d rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin’ and moanin’.”

-

Fresh Out the Slammer

CK: I’d say this fits Tory and Robby, but instead of the slow burn with them in the parole office I’d say this applies to Tory’s escape in season 5 episode 10 when she meets up with Robby after finally breaking free from Silver and kisses him: “Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge… I will never lose my baby again.”

CH: Zobby (Robby and Zion), if that wasn’t obvious from reading the later chapters of my season 4: “Now pretty baby I’m running back home to you. Fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to.”

-

Florida!!!

CK and CH: Miguel running away at the beginning of season 5 to Mexico: “I need to forget so take me to Florida. I’ve got some regrets I’ll bury them in Florida.”

-

Guilty As Sin?

CK: for shits and giggles this one is Silver. Just for the fact that he’s arrested as of season 5’s finale teehee.

CH: Zion because she never cheated!: “Without ever touching his skin how can I be guilty as sin?”

-

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

CK and CH: Literally any woman on the show! ANY! But if I had to choose it’d be the main 3 (Tory, Sam, and Zion): “‘cause you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. You caged me, and then you called me crazy. I am what I am ‘cause you trained me.”

-

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

CK: Idk the Lawrusso shipper in me thinks this fits for them specifically in early season 4 when they try to work together and fail. Or when Kreese finds Silver and brings out the PTSD again: “Whoa, maybe I can’t.”

-

loml

CK: I feel like if Johnny knew Taylor’s deep cuts he’d listen to this and think about Alli idk: “We embroidered the memories of the time I was away, stitching, ‘We were just kids, babe.’”

CH: Again it feels like an Elion (Eli and Zion) song but this time from Zion’s POV after he said they’d be together forever: “You shit talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles. I wish I could recall how we almost had it all.”

-

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

CK: Tory saying “I broke up with him because of this dojo, you bitch!” Yep. That’s her.: “Try and come for my job.”

CH: I feel like overall this also applies to Zion taking shit and just training through it: “I cry a lot, but I am so productive. It’s an art.”

-

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

CK: Tory with Silver after she learns about his involvement with Stingray's assault and the All Valley cheating: “You kicked out the stage lights but you're still performing.”

CH: The same with Zion and Silver but arguably worse: “And in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did, and I’ll forget you but I’ll never forgive.”

-

The Alchemy

CK: Lawrusso isn’t technically canon (yes it is), but if they were this is a cute song for them. I can’t really explain it, so you either get it or you don’t: “‘cause the sign in your heart says it’s still reserved for me. Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?”

CH: Teehee this is self-indulgent but it’s Zobby (Zion and Robby): “Ditch the clowns get the crown. Baby, I’m the one to beat.”

-

Clara Bow

CK: From Daniel to Sam to Anthony for the LaRusso legacy: “Them’s the breaks. They don’t come gently.”

CH: From Aisha/ Zion to Zion/Tory to Devon for the Cobra Kai girl’s legacy: “You’ve got edge; she never did. The future’s bright. Dazzling.”

-

The Black Dog

CK and CH: Robby about Sam while he’s in prison and she’s training at Miyagi-Do without him: “Old habits die screaming.”

-

imgonnagetyouback

CK: Okay, I’ll be cute again. Lawrusso. Do they fight? Do they kiss? How about both?: “Whether I’m gonna flip you off or pull you into the closet, I haven’t decided yet.”

Elion (self-indulgent) in season 3 with the on-and-off flirting and hating: “And I’ll tell you one thing, honey, I could take the upper hand and touch your body, flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party. Or I might just love you til the end.”

-

The Albatross

CK: It’s about the Miyagi-Do legacy Daniel passes to Sam and Robby OR Johnny explaining how to handle the trauma of Cobra Kai to the young Cobras: ”You were sleeping soundly when they dragged you from your bed, and I tried to warn you about them.”

CH: It can also be from Daniel to Zion about redemption and forgiveness after breaking free from Silver’s Cobra Kai and coming to Miyagi-Do: “I’ll tell you how I’ve been there, too, and that none of it matters.”

-

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

CK: Oddly enough I think pre-CK Shannon would find this song drunk and think about Johnny. She’d always wonder if he could have been there for her and loved her like he is now with Carmen. Maybe that’s a stretch: “Will I always wonder?”

CH: I feel like Robby for the brief part of season 5 when he leaves Zion he’d relate to this song: “You needed me but you needed drugs more. And I couldn’t watch it happen.”

-

How Did It End?

CK: Sam because her relationships are everywhere and each breakup - Kyler, Miguel, and Robby - is such a massive thing in high school: “It’s happening again.”

CH: This also applies to Zion because there are so many rumors about her. I’d say in the beginning/ early parts of season 3 is when this is most applicable: “‘Didn’t you hear they called it all off?’ One gasp and then, ‘How did it end?’”

-

So High School:

CK: I believe Carmen feels So High School with Johnny, despite me not being a Jarmen shipper. I just think about that little dream she had and want the best for her. Just like this song is the best: "You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her."

-

thanK you aIMee

CH: Zion about Gabi, her former enemy who outed her in Santa Maria: “'Cause all that time you were throwing punches it was all for nothing.”

-

I Look In People’s Windows:

CK: I think about season one Miguel going over to the LaRusso's house and seeing Robby eating dinner with them when I hear this song. He jumped to conclusions and got drunk angrily without communicating to Sam, too: "So I look in people's windows like I'm some deranged weirdo. I attend Christmas parties from outside. I look in people's windows in case you're at their table."

-

The Prophecy

CK and CH: What if I just say everyone at one point has related to this song? I'd be absolutely right.

-

Cassandra

CK: Tory because she is cursed with knowing Silver cheated without being able to do anything about it, she warns Daniel and he gets hurt, and then Kreese abandons her while she struggles to even stay at the dojo: “So they killed Cassandra first ‘cause she feared the worst and tried to tell the town.”

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Peter

CK: Kumiko with Daniel for obvious reasons. I do love them.: “You said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me.”

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The Bolter

CH: Zion because she keeps running away when things are scary as a trauma response - for example with Miguel’s fall and Silver’s attack: “Ended with the slam of a door then he’ll call her a whore, wish he wouldn’t be sore, but as she was leaving it felt like breathing.”

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Robin

CK: This songs reminds me of that one scene that shows a flashback of Daniel training Sam in Miyagi-Do when she was young: "Way to go, Tiger. Higher and higher. Wilder and lighter. For you."

CH: Zion to Ella in season 3 as she teaches her and tries to protect her from the world: “You’ll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline.”

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The Manuscript

CK: It doesn't apply because these characters don't move on from or properly cope with anything lmao

CH: For adult Zion looking back on the trauma: “But the story isn’t mine anymore.”

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Please add to this or share your opinions. I'd really like to see them.

[eurydicees]

werewolves coming into the light of day (gen, 5771 words)

Tenma's latest chapter reveals something about himself. Akaashi makes coffee. They talk. Or, a mangaka and his editor discuss burying your gays, coming out, and being loved.

my fic for the haikyuu pride exchange on twitter! i'm really excited about this one and hope y'all enjoy :D and check out the rest of the collection on ao3 here !

[bagelrites]

Ok here have the first half of chapter 8... I shall sleep and hopefully ao3 works in the morning

“This is the worst Christmas ever,” Skeppy whined, sitting balled up on his sister’s couch, two glasses of wine and an impulsive shot of peppermint vodka turning him to a teary-eyed mess. He wasn’t planning on making the drive out to see her—she was five hours away and their family wasn’t particularly sentimental about the holidays—but he was so lonely without Bad, he’d called that morning to ask if he could come for dinner, and now he was here, drunk and being a general nuisance for her and her roomates. 

“I just can’t believe you had a boyfriend this whole time and didn't tell me,” she said. He stuck his tongue out at her, and she made the same rude gesture back.

“And he’s not my boyfriend. By the way. That’s the whole fucking problem…”

“Gay people are so complicated,” she said. Skeppy gave her a glare, and she laughed, holding her hands up defensively.

“No, it’s true! My roommates are like literally in love with each other, but they won’t do anything about it. I do not understand lesbians, honestly.” 

Skeppy sighed, thinking it made sense based on what he’d seen that night.

“Where are those two anyways?” he asked.

“Probably upstairs cuddling.” She shrugged. “But seriously, you can’t call him? You can’t text him? That’s kind of fucked up.”

“I mean, I can text him… but what if he doesn’t answer? I don’t want to look desperate.” Skeppy grumbled, fingers picking at the fabric of his pants, where it stretched tight around his knees.

“You’ve been dating for months, right? Surely you’re past worrying about double-texting,” his sister reasoned. Skeppy sighed, burying his face between his knees.

“We were past that. But now I don't know. I don’t know what we are. I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know how he feels!”

Skeppy trembled, eyes clouding with tears, and gripped his own ankles firmly, holding himself like an anchor. He felt so lost. Bad was a constant in his life, something he could rely on. When he thought about the future, he had started to see Bad at his side. But now, the vision was foggy. Would Bad be there or not? He didn’t know, and it scared him.

“Well, he must have been doing something right, if you thought things were going well before all this,” his sister said. “What did you like about him? Did he make you happy?”

“Yeah. Really happy.” Skeppy nodded, sniffling. “He was so funny. And sweet. And he was really shy at first, which was cute, but he warmed up to me pretty quickly, and then it was like… it just felt so good, to be someone he felt safe with. Because he was still shy with other people, but he was open with me. He told me everything. Or, well. I thought he did.”

“That’s sweet,” she said. “So he did really like you. You can’t deny that.”

“I guess.” Skeppy turned his head to look at her. She was smiling, but it was one of those smiles you give to someone who’s suffering and needs sympathy. Not a real smile.

“And you liked him too. You still do. Right?” she asked.

“Obviously. I wanted him to—I thought we—I thought he was it, you know? I wanted to be with him forever.” Skeppy’s lips trembled. He really didn’t want to break down and bawl in front of his sister, but he was close. “And now it’s all ruined.”

“Not necessarily,” she said. “He didn’t break up with you, did he? He just said he needed to think about it.”

“Come on. We both know that means no.” Skeppy rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think so. I mean, if his family really is so homophobic that he can’t even tell them about you, I think it would be really complicated for him to decide to make things official.”

Skeppy picked his head up. That made some sense, actually.

“Has he ever talked about past relationships? Did that go badly, maybe? Like with his family?” she asked. “He might just be trying to spare you that.”

“Well, no. He’s never been in a relationship before,” Skeppy said.

Her eyes went wide.

“Oh. Well, then it makes even more sense. He’s nervous, Skeppy. You said he’s shy, right? Is he the worrying type?”

“Um. Yeah, I’d say he’s pretty anxious.”

“Then of course he needs time to think about it. He’s probably all in his head, worrying about every little thing. But if he really loves you, and if you remind him that you really love him, maybe reassure him that you don’t care if his family can’t handle the truth, and so on, he’ll choose you.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“He will. You just gotta make him feel secure. Confidence binds anxiety. So, show him how confident you are about your relationship. Show him you’re one-hundred percent committed to him.”

“Confidence binds anxiety? Where’d you hear that one?” Skeppy snorted.

“My therapist.” She shrugged, and Skeppy stopped smiling, feeling a little guilty.

“Maybe we should go to couple’s therapy,” he mumbled, but as soon as he said it, he realized it wasn’t as much of a joke as he thought. Maybe they really should. Or maybe Bad should go to therapy. He’d really like to see him be more confident. More than the uncertainty, it really hurt to know that Bad had been thinking Skeppy wanted to break up with him the whole time, and just never said anything about it.

He wanted Bad to be more confident. And that was something he probably couldn’t help him with on his own. 

“Ugh, anyways.” Skeppy reached for his wine glass, and frowned when he found it empty. “Where’d you put that bottle?”

“Away. Where it’s going to stay,” his sister said. He gave her a dramatic pout, but she firmly shook her head.

“You should really go to bed. I’ll get you some blankets for the couch.”

“I’m not tired,” Skeppy whined.

“Too bad! Because I am.” She disappeared upstairs to gather the bedding for him, and Skeppy sighed, putting his glass back on the coffee table. The living room was mostly dark, save for the multicolored lights haphazardly strung around the fake tree in the corner, and it was a cozy sort of dark. He wished he could have been here with Bad, cuddled up together with a log burning in the furnace and carols playing from the radio. 

Maybe next year, if he could show Bad how sure he was that they belonged together. That he was confident he wanted him in his life, for the rest of his life. That their next Christmas together would be the first of many. 

…

Hey, you’re coming home today, right?

Skeppy stared at his text from six hours ago. It’d been delivered, but remained unread. Bad’s flight should have gotten in a while ago, so either it was delayed, or he was ignoring him.

Bad had responded to a few of his messages while he was gone, though his responses had been short. Doing fine. Dinner was good. Nothing interesting.

Skeppy felt pathetic about it, but it almost brought him to tears a couple of times.

He held his phone with both hands, starting to type out a new, deeply embarrassing message about how much he missed Bad and begging him to please come see him, when his phone pinged. He looked at the banner notification: New Message from Ant

Curious, he deleted the message he was working on and navigated over to their conversation. It was pretty empty, just a few questions and answers about meetings and reports. And now, an invitation.

Hey! A bunch of us from the office are going out for drinks together on NYE. Bad says he’s coming, so I assume you are too?

Skeppy typed out a simple of course, not wanting to reveal anything was wrong, but then he chewed his lip, remembered all the times Ant had helped him before, and replaced it with the truth.

Bad isn’t talking to me. I’m kinda freaking out about it.

He saw those three dots pop up immediately, then disappear, then reappear.

He’s in Florida, right? Ant asked.

Yeah. Said he couldn’t talk to me bc his family is super homophobic.

Aww ok. He should be back soon?

He is back. Still not responding to me.

Oh. Ant didn’t text anything for a minute, and then: Were you guys doing ok before he left?

Skeppy groaned, rubbing a hand down over his face.

I asked him to be my boyfriend… he said he’d “think about it” then left.

Oh, dude. Want to call?

Skeppy didn’t even answer, he just found the call button and clicked it. It was only ringing for a second before Ant picked up.

“Alright, tell me what happened from the top,” Ant said.

So Skeppy did.

He told him how Bad immediately assumed they were breaking up, and all the bullshit reasons he gave for thinking Skeppy would be better off without him. He told him how he reacted to Skeppy’s real question, and then what he said when they got home. He told him how he’d been trying to give Bad some space, because that’s what he asked for, but he was terrified Bad had retreated into himself, and Skeppy was going to be locked out forever. 

“Oh, Bad…” Ant sighed. “He does kind of have a habit of running away from anything he thinks is going to hurt him.”

“He thinks I’m gonna hurt him?” Skeppy frowned, his heart dropping into his stomach.

“Well, he thought you were gonna break up with him,” Ant pointed out. “And the week apart probably didn’t help.”

“So, what? We’re doomed?” Skeppy asked.

Ant burst out laughing.

“Oh, not even close,” he said. “You just gotta remind Bad how you feel, Skeppy. Don’t give up on him just yet. I mean, you remember how shy he was with you initially?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s retreated back into his shell. But surely you remember how to coax him out?”

Skeppy sighed. This was a little bit different than that, and yet… what had it been, initially, that got Bad to like him? Was it his confidence, the ease with which he asked Bad out, even if, secretly, he never meant to?

“I need to see Bad. In person,” Skeppy realized aloud. “He’s going out with you guys tomorrow night?”

“Yup!”

“Alright. Then I’m coming.”