#this came together quite nicely
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look, I tried to get this to a reasonable amount of tracks, okay you guys?
merry holidays to @fyredreamt, @kinslcyer, and @sunfyred ! spotify link coming to your dms!
#{ we were destined to fly ; we were born to live our only lives } : ot4 verse#{ roamed cassandra plunged in sadness} : helaena#{ thy laurel thy glory thy light of thy story } : aemond#{ ye shall pass in pleasure and peril } : aegon#this came together quite nicely#because I gave up on screaming at gifs for the moment#{ for there is no friend like a sister ; to lift one if one totters down } : helaena (fyredreamt)#{ i cut his hair myself one night ; and he kissed me 'till the mornin' light } : aegon (sunfyred)#{ under blue moon i saw you ; so soon you'll take me } : aemond (kinslcyer)
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Okay so I know that reincarnation in this au doesn't work this way, but what if bill reincarnations had a messed up eye embedded in their 3D bodies that could see the fourth dimension
#SURPRISE I did two arts today and I'm posting them both#super happy with how this came out for a two hour piece#that's uhh several tesseracts behind him#i finally figured out how to put ian and tbob together#transcendence au#ian beale#reincarnation blues#tbob spoilers#the book of bill spoilers#book of bill spoilers#tau art#gravity falls au#bill cipher#my art#digital art#digital painting#fan art#seriously need to work on how i render faces but i've decided i like doing super thick lineart or none at all so that's nice#quite a few mistakes in here but ehhhh i'll let em slide
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For Requestober, Req.2
HP!Gaster with Nny clothes, not a specific fit, just that it's Nny's. I always wanted to see that sjsjdj
Day 4 - Perfect fit, barring taste
#My art#Requestober#UT#Handplates#Gaster#I'm sure Alphys was instrumental to this happening lol#They find the whole ensemble in the dump and Gaster makes a comment about how it's ratty enough to belong there haha#I would say this is my go-to Nny outfit but I do actually have a small handful huh :0#Edgar has such a cartoon character closet compared to how I style Nny haha#But I Have drawn him with his hips out more than once! I think it's a Look#Didn't include a piercing or eye shadow but that'd probably be a bit too much to ask of Gaster lol#Finally someone skinny enough to fit in Johnny's clothes without pulling the seams!#Even with skeletal magical bodies filling out their clothes - I assume bone-tight clothes wouldn't be uncomfortable :0#I mean we've seen Gaster in tights lol#I did have a rather inordinate amount of fun having his hip bones stick out Quite that much hehehe#The whole pose came together really nicely I think! :D His elbow resting in the intersection of his legs especially <3#Contact points yay ♪#Had fun with the design on his shirt as well :) Something of a premonition here hehe#In that case he ought to have his Lost Soul head but I wanted to draw his intact face! Maybe another time#It all suits him oddly well huh haha
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Some very lazy concept doodles for my swap au Wendy
#keese draws#don’t starve together#dst#dst Wendy#wendy carter#I need to make a tag for this au but I’m lazy#anyways sorry if the scribbles are incomprehensive idk what I was on abt either tbh#well ok most of it is just mechanics I’ve talked abt before but yknow#oh and the bottom right doodle is abt how wickerbottom’s wereghost form performs the haunt action on hauntable objects with higher chances#of whatever effects meaning that given enough trees technically you could use her for living log farming#and due to wendy’s fuel mechanic living logs are quite valuable since they’re one of the few things that effect sanity when burned#they also slow sanity drain significantly when burned which is nice for the guy who doesn’t have a lot of sanity options#wurts are also a good living log soruce but I didn’t want to design her rn so rip wurt#she’s a lil baby tree guard sorta#well she basically just Is a tree guard but with a irredecent gem in her head#webber created her because he was lonely rip#he also was the one who accidentally got wendy killed and then made wendy robot body#wendy predictably has a lot of angsting to do abt that especially since it came with significant memory loss#and abby doesn’t die in this au so she’s also there and is deep in denial lol
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Once and Future Witches
Historical fantasy set in 1893
Three estranged sisters reunite after their abusive father’s death, and become involved in woman’s suffrage in the city - but find the group restrictive
they begin to research how to find the forgotten ways of witching to empower women, and stand up against the rise of anti-witch sentiments and a particularly powerful councilor running for mayor
magic based on stories and fairytales
lesbian, aroace-coded MCs
#The Once and Future Witches#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I enjoyed this quite a bit! nice prose. interesting concept. some good characters#the pacing is a bit??? but it came together really interestingly in the end#I was definitely unsure going in if it was going to be a bit white feministy - it side steps that a bit with the cast of side characters#(though it maybe handles some of this a bit awkwardly)#I appreciate the magic not truly being a gender thing either (though many characters treat it that way)#very much only brief/vague allusions to aroaceness
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( had my last shift at work today!! and i have ... complicated feelings ???? )
#( like on the one hand it WAS nice to have some financial freedom )#( and not have to worry about the guilt that came with where it was lacking )#( but also like. my mom and my therapist aren't wrong )#( it would free up SO MUCH MORE TIME to work on shit and on myself and just get shit DONE )#( SO much has just been sitting around since this semester started and it's about time it needs to change )#( and also i think i'm gonna quit this new med cuz it just. it makes me so fucking tired and makes everything hurt )#( but anyways. i'm gonna try to enjoy tomorrow cuz my friends and i are gonna get together and have a lil party )#( since one of them had a bday yesterday )#⠀ ⠀ ♥︎ ⠀ ⠀ 𝒏𝒐𝒂𝒉 𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔 ⠀ ⠀ ╱ ⠀ ⠀ out of character.
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#First Fifteen episode. Came and went. Nothing in particular to note.#I really like fifteen s/kk they're my favourite s/kk. I also really like Fifteen Dazai I find him very likeable and endearing#There's something exceptionally soft about Fifteen s/kk. About the constant reminder of how young they are#I think there's just this very sweet feeling of two people who... Aren't really made to get along‚ but kids WILL be kids.#And it's exceptionally cute to see. Yes they come from different side yes they have clashing personalities but kids will have fun together.#Will mock each other and try to compensate their insecurities with overconfidence and get hang up on silly matters#And it's really so tender!!! It's nice to see them this way.#I think at the end of the day the author did a very good job at portraying that– how young they really are‚ without falling it the trap of–#“making them act adult because they had to grow up too soon”. They *had* to grow up too soon. But they're still kids.#I derail but back to the actual episode /really/ nothing much noteworthy. The animation got a terrible downgrade from the previous–#season and Dead Apple‚ but I suppose it could be worse? There's even a noticeable worsening in the quality of the backgrounds;#they just... Lack all the meticulous details they used to. There's still some occasional animation highlights in the chibi stylized moments#which I find particularly enjoyable.#And that's about it. If I find time for it I'd like to make time to catch up with the manga these days... For now off to the next episode!!#random rambles#Ah‚ that said: Bones' job at rendering kids is quite‚ uhm... Ineffective.#And I've never been a huge fan of Chuuya's va (really just a matter of personal preference)‚ but here they sound even more out of place...
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finally playing ophelia’s campaign is fun and all, love me a good ol’ tiefling oathbreaker paladin, but it’s just hilarious to me romancing shadowheart and walking by the oathbreaker knight in camp because all i can think of is “hehe i wrote you and ophelia fuckin in the stormshore tabernacle”
#save me oathbreaker knight. save me#anyway sharts romance is p nice so far#still only on act one but she and ophelia mesh together quite well#she’s a bard in this playthrough#shadowbart#<- ps my gf came up with that because she’s amazing and funny and i love her so much
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tagged by @lunapascal to make a moodboard of my url :)
tagging (with no pressure, obviously): @softnasty, @steadfast, @daffodelia, and @coffee-and-uhg
#tag game#moodboard#all images come from pinterest#i thought this was going to be super hard but actually???#came together quite nicely im proud of myself#baby's first moodboard!
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A stimboard of Jan's unaired Pop Art runway for @sardonicsuccubus <3
💖 💙 💖 💙 💜 💙 💜 💖 💜
#I was unsure about this at first but I think it came together quite nicely :)#stim#stimmy#stimboard#visual stim#purple#pink#hot pink#blue#lavender#fabric#soft#glitter#gemstones#gems#drink#bath bomb#lip gloss#makeup#candy#pouring#food#hands#irl people#jan sport#rpdr#as6#drag race
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thinking about potential cosplays for this year (instead of making progress on the ones I have)
I love the idea of Pirate Vivi but… what if …
#blue pony tail bitches rise#the idea came about because it might be nice to not have to wear a wig?#maybe just use a ponytail extension dyed my current color#and it could be something actually quite comfy#and Vivi’s pirate outfit doesn’t look incredibly challenging to pull together#but what if… the clown 🤡#please someone validate this thought#I like her miss Wednesday look too which could also work… but…#wurm.txt
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For Requestober No.2
What about Handplates Gaster and Papyrus trying hard to have a bonding activity and Sans just chilling behind them eating popcorns...?
👉🏻👈🏻
Day 14 - He's supervising
#My art#Requestober#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Ah....The cutes........#I'm really pleased with how this one came together haha ♪ Soft and colourful and overlaps and subject! Yeah!!#And look at the bottoms of those shoes!!!!!! Improving!!!!! Genuinely probably the best I've done so far ahh yaay#It does feel a bit funny to have Papyrus' outfit as kind of a mish-mash of various design elements lol#It's his Battle Body but there's the black-clothed spine from my design but bare arms and legs from Handplates#I dunno I just work here lol#Sans is pretty much on-model at least - Sans no you'll get butter on your gloves!#He's very happy to be here as you can see lol#''be more excited you got a gift from the best skeleton in the underground and above it''#Papyrus just trying to have the most fun :') His enthusiasm makes up for everyone else's - right? Has to#Gaster's being passive - bracelet of yellow flowers huh hmmm - but he's not fighting or leaving! Every little drop of progress#His little kneel under Papyrus' open lap is so cuuuute wahhh <3 <3 Soft interactions! Gentle touch!#Not confining or even all that purposeful just casual pleasant contact hh <3#Quite happy with the patch of grass as well hehe I think it follows the composition curve nicely ♪#Really in love with my grass brush can you tell lol but I also used my waterbrush! Ahh it's nice it feels good to colour with#Cute and soft <3 Like it all very much ♥
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yes we do want the void oc lore
okay !!! i hope this makes sense
void's one of my psychic ocs their ability/power being that they can distort, displace, & change audio, visual, tactile, scent, and taste sensations in a limited range around themself. this often isnt the smoothest & seems similar to a glitch on a computer so thats how it got its name. theyre agender (amab but thats literally only relevant in adult situations) idk their exact hight but somewhere around like 5'2"
their real/past name was ansta. they also used to have red-brown hair & purple eyes but they thought that was boring & always used their ability to make their eyes bright blue & their hair the black-blue gradient.
they had good grades in school but got bored easily, so they often used their ability to pull various pranks in classes. they had a friend (crian) that would help them in their pranks with her own ability & even tho everyone knew it was the two of them, there wasn't much proof if any so they never really got in trouble. they definitely used to be a playful, confident type of person.
However they got involved with one of the popular girls at their school, & once she got a bit close to them she started using them, manipulating them, etc. part of her bullying was saying things like "u dont even have ur own personality do u? ur just a void of a person" & Thats where the nickname void came from.
crian figured out early what her plan was & tried to talk some sense into void, but the bullying really put them into a corner & whenever they tried to do something about it, the popular girl would step in & lie to whoever they told so no one would believe them. once she got what she wanted from void, she got even hasher in her bullying until void finally broke one day. their mind went blank & they ran out of school & didnt stop running.
when they finally got their senses back, they didn't remember anything, not what happened or where they were going or even really who they were. they lost their phone while they were running so they didnt even have that to see who they knew or what they were like. they just knew the word void felt like a name & they didn't want to turn around and find out where they came from. so at 16 they just kept going until eventually, several towns & a Large distance away, they found an abandoned house deep in the woods where it was very unlikely anyone would come across them. once they decided on staying there they got themself a new phone & different things so they could actually live there.
even tho they dont consciously remember anything, the whole incident still haunts them, they have no confidence or self esteem, they dont even have control over their ability anymore & that stresses them out & makes it Even Worse so they hid away even more than they needed to.
eventually as they stayed there they gained a growing interest in the deity of the stars & joined various forums & the like to keep up with their appearances & interviews & various other things. they never talked too much, but they got a decent following for their photo set edits. this interest ended up turning into a gachikoi situation, even tho they never really wanted to actually meet the deity since they hated themself & didnt feel they were worthy of it or that the deity should be bothered by someone like them. but also theyve been away from people so long at that point they dont actively name it as a crush (it is).
despite hating themself theyve never self harmed in the way of cutting their self harm manifests as excessive isolation (obviously) & occasionally skipping meals. & self deprecation too.
probably the most interesting thing tho is that when they snapped & couldnt control their ability anymore it permanently altered them that their eyes & hair stay the colors they wanted as a kid (unless of course their ability goes off a changes it for a bit. but thats like their "natural" now) In Fact in my little au where they get together with said deity, their kid inherits their eye color meaning their ability is powerful enough to permanently alter genes/dna/whatever. but they cant use it properly anymore so its really not a threat to anyone
#asks#zinziinziiin#void#lmao i named the potential kid iono before pkmn scarvi came out & im still like. deep sigh about it#anyway i think this is the short ver idk if it makes sense bc i just threw it together but its the most important parts i think#i should also mention. it common in this world for kids to quit school to go traveling & hone their abilities#so it wasnt culturally strange for void to just. never show up again#also also void & ryuusei (deity) DO end up being friends. not dating & not with benefits but they do end up knowing each other#i go back & forth on making them a canon couple & not wanting to fall victim to every story needing romance#the ONLY reason they have a kid in the au is bc both of them are so ill equipped to handle a kid itd be funny thats IT#anyway thats my sad wet cat of an oc i love them & never give them anything nice ever
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Took me two hours on the clock to process one emotion but I think I made it. Doesn't make me less sad but it's better. Moral of the story is take any opportunity you like offered to you no matter how unworthy of it you feel
#got taken by a bouth of#idk#self-commiseration? catholicism?#between the end of December and the beginning of January#and only now I'm having to deal with the consequences#because I didn't make a decision but let the window for one close#and I knew the amswer was yes and I knew that I didn't deserve to say yes#but that's bullshit because what have I gained?#how is me depriving myself of something that would have made me and others happy#making up for all the ways in which I've let myself and others down#the two things aren't tied together. they don't influence each other#and now I've been cruel to myself again#personal#I've never even been catholic so this whole oh I don't deserve this nice thing I don't know where it came from except that I was feeling#quite depressed#I should make use of the time that that thing would have taken but it won't make giving that up worth it
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i like when im back home and the waiter is gay and they spend the entire dinner trying to subtly communicate that they're also gay to me without outing either of us. the funniest instance of this was this guy that kept doing this weird winky face kind of thing at me every time he passed our table and i didn't realize he was trying to signal or perhaps flirt until he'd done it maybe six times. Ngl he was so bad at it I thought maybe it was some kind of tic. No judgment though I also don't know how to make subtle facial expressions
#also when the waitress grabbed me by the arm as i was leaving and went WAIT i just need you to know you are soooooooooooo gorgeous#she was really intense about it. like it was nice of her but I didn't catch the implication for ages.#or when i went to the barbeque place full of some of the worst patrons imaginable (but chill staff and great food)#and the gay waiter was like. Us freaks gotta stick together! Out of nowhere. To me specifically.#or my old gay hairdresser (he quit god bless his soul) who leaned in and whispered to ask if i wanted a mens cut#and then loudly talked shit on straight hair country boy mullets with me and told me he was gonna give me a skater cut (it came out great)#Or baby goths (usually also gay or gnc) running up to me to quickly tell me they like my style or a specific clothing item. It's so cute#It's just a nice change of pace from getting stank eye everywhere I go. Though I do wish i could tell when ppl are hitting on me#and when they're signaling. Or just being weird
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