#this *should* be okay especially if servers are moved

[planetkiimchi]

i knew it first | z.cl

"i'm in love, i'm in love, i'm in love with the boy next door." (series masterlist)

featuring: neighbour!chenle x gn!reader, cameos by johnny, winwin, joy, suzy, dokyeom, renjun, jisung, ningning

word count: 15278 words

warnings: a little bit of swearing (i tried to keep it to a minimum), food mentions, some angst bc would it really be my fic if i don't give my characters major issues am i right 🤩

summary — chenle's pretty sure his crush on you is obvious. it's a little stupid, really, just how in love he is with you. but it's even more foolish how you don't seem to realise until he confesses properly. you can lie and say you knew he liked you all along, but he'll stand by the fact that he knew you liked him first.

author's note: happy birthday, my wonderful zanna @slytherinshua <3 thank you for being the most supportive friend EVER, for always being open to doing face quizzes (and for being so patient when i get them wrong), and for always trying to engage everyone in the server or the community. i hope you have the most wonderful month and that you get all the good things you deserve!

At 22, you were accustomed to solitude. Your career path as an actor had started ever since you were a child, and you were one of the few kids on set who didn’t cry when your parents left. Your parents took this as a sign to enrol you in acting classes, and you joined theatre in high school.

By the time you graduated high school, you were performing in musicals locally, often practising with the rest of the crew late into the night. Each run needed to be as perfect as possible, and the pressure could get to your head sometimes, which was when you would take a step back, speak to your friends—especially Winwin—and find your footing before you went back to practising.

You had quite a strong support system within the performers, but outside of them, you didn’t have anyone else.

You moved out of your parents’ house shortly after you turned 22. While it was, in some sense, a financial burden for your family, you and your parents had agreed that it was worth it, especially since your schedule was erratic and you often came home late, disrupting their sleep. It wasn’t like you saw them often anyway, so you all came to the conclusion that it would be better for you to move out.

“Sicheng,” you called, winding through the house with a mug in your hand. “Sicheng, where are you?” Winwin emerged from the living room, phone in hand, his eyebrows raised. “What?” “Oh, I just had a question.” Winwin turned away, taking a seat on the couch and crossing his right ankle over his left knee. “Sit.” Once you were seated, he turned his body to face you, and with a posture of attentiveness, asked, “What’s up?” “Should I have a housewarming party? I don’t know if it’s a good idea, what if the neighbours are my fans and they harass me for the entire time I live here once they find out who I am?” Winwin looked at you curiously. “Okay, wait, slow down. You don’t even like parties.” You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “Well, yeah, but—” “No buts. If you don’t want a housewarming party, then just don’t hold one,” Winwin concluded, leaning back into the couch.

“But… It's not that I don’t want to host a housewarming party either. I do want to celebrate having a new house, it’s just…” “Socially exhausting?” Winwin supplied.

“...yeah.” Winwin picked up a pen from the coffee table, spinning it around as he hummed. “What kind of party do you want to have?” “Maybe potluck?” “That could work. You could send invitations to whichever friends you want to come, and ask them each to bring some food. It’ll just be food and talking, and maybe some wine. I’ve got a karaoke machine at home, I could bring it over and we could set that up. It’ll be fun!” “Really?” you asked. “You’d do that?” “Yeah, why not?” “I mean, it’s not like you like parties either…” “You’re my friend, Y/n. It’s not socially exhausting being with you.. The rest of them are my friends too. It’ll be just a hangout for us,” Winwin promised.

“Okay.”

Two weeks later, cars started pulling into the carpark near your apartment, and you watched the familiar cars on the street from your window. “They’re here!” you exclaimed, going into the kitchen where Winwin was removing the lasagna from the oven.

“Oh?” Winwin placed the lasagna on the table, just as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Winwin let out a laugh at your jittery state as you hurried to the door to open it. Jaehyun stood there at the door, a bouquet in hand, with Joy by his side.

“Welcome! Come in, come in,” you told them, gratefully receiving the flowers. Winwin led them into the house as you went to find a vase for the flowers. Joy set the food down on the dining table, remarking that the lasagna smelled heavenly.

Slowly, the guests began to arrive, first Suzy, followed by Dokyeom shortly after. Johnny, the company manager, was among the last few to arrive, but he was easily forgiven by virtue of his dazzling smile and the expensive wine he had brought.

Once everyone had arrived, the plates were distributed and food was served. Over the hot, steaming meal, everyone shared their congratulations, and you received a number of compliments on the lasagna.

The conversation proceeded to take the direction of the musical you were currently practising for, and several jokes that you should end practice earlier were made, but Johnny shook his head and smiled knowingly (you all knew that meant practice could very well be extended instead of shortened).

Once the food was finished, Winwin headed to the living room to set up the karaoke machine, while the guests brought the soiled cutlery to the kitchen, where they placed it in the sink before visiting the washroom.

As they started heading towards the living room, the doorbell rang, and you furrowed your brows in confusion.

You made your way to the door, not bothering to look through the peephole before opening it. In front of you stood a young man about your age, his hair slightly dishevelled, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt.

“Who’s that?” Winwin called. When you continued to remain silent, he set down the microphone and went over to take a look.

“Hi,” the man said. “I’m Chenle, your neighbour. My family and I noticed there were some guests earlier, are you having a housewarming party?”

You swallowed your saliva and nodded hesitantly. “Yes. Sorry, were we being too loud? I can tell them to keep their noise level down.” Personally, though, you hadn’t thought that you had been noisy. Was your neighbour one of those people that could only function in absolute silence? “Oh no, no,” Chenle laughed, waving his hands in front of him to dispel the thought. “You haven’t been noisy at all. We just wanted to pass you some pizza—my family runs a pizzeria, you see—to say welcome to the neighbourhood! Our flat is just opposite yours,” he pointed.

“Oh, wow. Thank you!” you replied.

“It’s no problem. Well, I’ll be going. Enjoy your party! I’ll see you around.” Smiling, Chenle waved at you and went back home.

You turned to Winwin, shutting the door before you whisper-yelled, “He’s cute!”

Winwin rolled his eyes and pulled on your ear, ignoring your cry of pain. “Honestly. What goes on in your head?”

Before you could reply, a screech from the living room caused both of you to turn your heads. You burst out into laughter as you caught sight of Johnny attempting to belt out a high note, his face red with exertion. Your friends were gathered around him in a circle, legs crossed, with Johnny being the sole exception. He stood in the centre, fist clenched, bent over as he sang into the microphone—that is, if it could be considered singing.

Breathless, he handed the microphone over to Joy, who blessed your ears with her melodious voice, amidst the dying laughter. Dokyeom handed him a glass of water, and he gulped it down, leaning against the sofa with a dramatic sigh.

You brought the pizza with you as you and Winwin headed over, settling onto the carpet as the song continued to play.

Dokyeom raised his head, locking eyes with you. Once you were seated, he tilted his head towards the door. “What was that about?”

“My new neighbour.”

“He’s cute,” Dokyeom commented.

“I know!” you replied, rolling your eyes. Opening the pizza box, the smell of freshly cooked pizza filled the air, and you handed a slice to Joy, who was staring at the pizza hungrily.

“Want one?” Dokyeom nodded, and you handed him a slice, before biting into a slice of your own pizza. The gooey, cheesy slice melted in your mouth, and you sighed happily.

“I told Winwin that the guy was cute, but he brushed it off,” you tell Dokyeom.

“He probably doesn’t want you replacing him,” Dokyeom said. “Want a lollipop?”

You received it, sucking on it contemplatively. After a moment, you took it out of your mouth, reaching over to tap Winwin on the shoulder.

“You know I’d never replace you, right?”

Winwin’s brows knitted together in a moment of confusion, but that expression was quickly replaced by one of amusement. “I know.”

“Good.” You retracted your hand, leaning forward to squint at the lyrics as the microphone was passed to you.

As the night came to an end, your friends gathered up the empty containers strewn about, collecting their belongings. More than one of them downed a glass of water, proceeding to head to the bathroom afterwards.

You wiped down the table before sending your friends off, waving at each one of them in turn.

“Thank you for coming,” you repeated.

“Thank you for inviting us!” Suzy smiled.

“Tell us about that cute boy,” Dokyeom said with a wink, scurrying off before you could respond.

“What— Seokmin!” Winwin reached out to place a hand on your shoulder, and you turned to face him.

“Do you need help with anything else?”

You shook your head. “Go home and get some rest.”

Winwin gave you a quick hug, waved and left.

With a sigh, you plopped onto the couch, gaze trailing over the empty house. The exhaustion was just beginning to catch up to you, and you let out a tired yawn. You ran a tired hand through your hair, sweeping it out of the way as you went into the kitchen, taking up a wet sponge and squeezing out a bit of dish soap before scrubbing at the dirty dishes.

Once that was done, you wiped down the table, swept the floor, and threw all the trash into the bin. Then, you bagged your trash and took it out.

As you locked your door, you noticed a piece of paper hung to the doorknob by a string. You removed it, taking a look at the words written on it.

dear neighbour,

i realised i forgot to get your name! anyway, here’s my number so you can contact me whenever.

chenle

You pocketed the piece of paper, and as you passed by Chenle’s house, you smiled a little at the shoes neatly placed on the shoe rack—mostly sneakers—wondering which ones were his.

After taking out the trash, you took a long, hot shower, letting all the tiredness dissolve from your body. You blow dried your hair, clambered into bed, and looked at your phone, which was blowing up with pictures from the earlier party.

You sent a quick ‘thank you’ message, resolving to go through the photographs slowly the next day, and sent a text to Chenle instead.

unknown: hey chenle, this is y/n, your neighbour :)

He replied almost immediately.

chenle (cute boy next door): hey y/n! it’s quite late, get some rest first? i’d love to hear how you're settling in y/n (neighbour): yep, you too

Placing your phone on the nightstand to be charged, you soon drifted off to sleep.

Hands braced against the floor, you did two back walkovers while the music slowly trailed off. The last note faded as Dokyeom’s voice quietened.

“Halt!” The two of you turned to the direction of the sound, and you took a few tentative steps back until you were next to Dokyeom. Dressed in a shirt and jeans, Winwin wasn’t very intimidating, but his tall stature and serious expression made up for it.

The silence ensued for a few seconds before Winwin sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “Sorry. Line?”

The lights blinked on, and Johnny emerged at the foot of the stage. All eyes turned to him as he spoke, not loudly, but clear enough for his voice to travel.

“Alright, let’s take 5. Sicheng, you okay? Do you need to read your lines?”

Winwin nodded, then leapt down from the stage, grabbing his water bottle from one of the front row seats. He drank slowly before replacing his bottle and snatching up his script. The neon yellow highlights blurred as he shook out the script in frustration, flipping to the page he needed.

“Halt, what do you think you’re doing, you street rat?” he muttered, repeating it over and over again under his breath.

You sat on the edge of the stage with Dokyeom, catching your breath. You took a swig of water and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. Dokyeom nudged you, and you turned to face him. “Hm?”

“How are you getting home? Is Sicheng still going to drop you off?” When you lived with your parents, you would always carpool with Winwin, since your house was on the way home for him.

You shook your head. Since moving house, it was no longer convenient for Winwin to drop you off. “Suzy offered to drop me off,” you told Dokyeom.

Dokyeom nodded. “That’s good. It isn’t safe to make your way home alone when it’s dark.”

“I know, Mum.” Dokyeom rolled his eyes at the jab. Checking his watch, he got to his feet, extending an arm to help you up. You took his hand and he pulled you to your feet with ease, the two of you setting your bottles down out of the way before assuming your places again.

Winwin hurried up the steps to the stage, eyes scouring the floor for the yellow crosses that demarcated his spot, and heading into the wing just next to it.

Johnny clapped his hands thrice, the loud sound resounding throughout the studio. “Ok everybody, breaktime is up! Let’s get back to rehearsing.”

The rehearsal ended at 10pm, which meant it was already 11 when you stepped out of the elevator at your floor. You were slightly delirious from the lack of sleep, having stayed up late the night before to tidy up your house. Rocking on your heels, you pressed a hand to your temples to ease the headache building up behind your eyes, taking a few steps forward.

Walking proved to be a challenge, as your foot came into contact with an obstacle. Blinking your bloodshot eyes, you identified the obstacle as a delivery box.

Several delivery boxes, in fact. No less than 10 delivery boxes were strewn across the corridor between your apartment and Chenle’s. You shut your eyes for a brief moment of reprieve, and when you opened them again, the boxes remained.

So you weren’t hallucinating. Frowning, you slowly weaved your way between the cardboard boxes. At your door, you braced one hand against the door frame as you removed your shoes, placing them on the rack and locking the door behind you.

You contemplated asking Chenle to move the boxes, but it was late and you didn’t intend to disturb him. You hadn’t actually seen him for the whole day, you realised. Perhaps his working hours and yours didn’t overlap.

y/n (neighbour): pls move ur delivery boxes 🙏

Not long after sending the text, you drifted off to sleep.

You woke the next morning to banging against your door. Concerned, you flipped your phone screen up, only to realise that it wasn’t even noon yet. With a long, drawn out groan, you rubbed your eyes as you slid into your slippers and padded across the room.

You pulled the door open, stifling a yawn, seeing your friends outside.

“It’s too early for this,” you mumbled, heading back inside before they could say anything. Dokyeom hurried inside after you, yelling for you to hurry as you disappeared into the toilet.

You emerged from the bathroom, dangling your earrings against your earlobes as you looked at yourself in the mirror, deciding which accessories fit your outfit best.

Dokyeom stood by the door with his arms crossed, shouting, “Hurry up! We’ve got to get there before they break for lunch!”

You groaned, putting the other sets of earrings back into the drawer and slipping the ones you'd chosen into your piercings. You pulled your socks on in a hurry, not even bothering to put your shoes on properly as you rushed out after your friends. Your fingers slipped a couple of times as you tried to insert the key into the keyhole, until you finally managed it, while Joy yelled at you from inside the elevator to move quickly.

You rushed into the elevator, kneeling to tie your shoelaces and put your shoes on properly. Then it hit you.

"What kind of lunch place closes during lunch time?"

Dokyeom scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, about that... I kind of just said the first thing that came to mind that I thought would make you hurry, and it worked, didn't it?"

"Seokmin! Ah, never mind. It's fine." You stood up properly, adjusting the strap of your shoulder bag as you followed your friends out. You got in Jaehyun's car, with Dokyeom navigating in the passenger seat.

The ride wasn't long, and you pulled up to a deserted building, with "One Minute Pizza (一分钟披萨饼)" written in a deep shade of red.

You stepped out of the car, followed by Joy and Dokyeom, while Jaehyun drove off to find a parking lot in the carpark. Dokyeom took the lead and you followed behind him as he headed to the counter to look at the menu.

"Chenle?"

To your surprise, one of the workers at the counter taking orders was none other than the neighbour you had messaged the night before.

His expression remained friendly, the customer-service smile fixed upon his face as he finished attending to the customer in front of you. As you and your friends moved forward, he caught sight of you, breaking into a genuine smile.

“Y/n! Welcome, what can I get you?”

Dokyeom launched into his order, ordering enough pizzas for all of you to share. Joy would be stealing everyone else’s food anyway, so Dokyeom didn’t bother ordering anything for her. Once he was done ordering, Chenle repeated the order back to him, and Dokyeom took the receipt and went to sit down.

You lingered a little while longer, standing by the side so the next customer in line could move forward. After calling out the order to the kitchen, Chenle looked at you, eyes rolling up as he recalled something. “Oh, right! I moved the boxes. Did you get my text?”

You glanced at your phone, realising that you had several unread texts. You clicked on the one from Chenle, which read:

chenle (cute boy next door): mb 😓😓 just cleared them!

“Yeah, I did! Thanks for that, by the way.”

“No problem. My mum has a bit of a consumption problem, so the delivery boxes are a common hazard. Just let me know next time, and I'll move it for you, yeah? Don't want you to trip and fall.”

“Okay.”

Chenle smiled, apologising to the customer for the wait before taking their order.

Jaehyun joined you as you walked to your table, nudging your shoulder and whispering conspiratorially, “Who’s that?”

“My neighbour.”

“Oh, the cute one?” You whipped your head, hair smacking into your forehead. You brushed your bangs out of your eyes as you gaped at Jaehyun, mortified.

“You heard that?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “You were speaking about it with Dokyeom while you were sitting right behind me. It wasn't hard to overhear."

"Jae!"

Jaehyun grinned, sitting down opposite you, half his ass off the chair as he squeezed in next to Joy, stuffing a slice of pizza in his mouth. His voice was muffled as he said something about you being one of the most obvious people he'd ever met.

Joy leaned forward, elbows propped up on the table, chin resting on her hands as she darted her eyes pointedly in Chenle's direction. "So, what's the plan?"

"What plan?"

Dokyeom squinted at you, brows furrowed. "Y/n, please don't tell me you're that dense." When you continued staring blankly at him, he pulled away with a sigh. "I guess you are. The plan to make Chenle your boyfriend, of course."

You choked on your drink, coughing violently while Dokyeom patted your back. Sputtering, you turned to face the culprit, who only looked at you innocently.

"Lee Seokmin!" you whisper-yelled. "Can you please not say that while he's right there?"

Dokyeom nodded appeasingly and waved a hand at the food. "Okay, okay. Go on and eat, we're actually going to be late if you're slow."

You checked your watch and scarfed down the pizza. However, Joy, who had already finished eating, had other priorities. Leaning back, she crossed her arms and said seriously, "I personally think you should find out if they have neighbours’ meetings. It'd be great in helping you assimilate into the community, while also getting to know a certain someone a little better."

Between bites of food, you considered this proposition before deciding that it wouldn't do you any harm. You nodded to acknowledge Joy's suggestion, before you finally finished eating and everyone stood up to return the trays while you wiped your mouth clean with a napkin.

"So," you started, while the four of you briskly made your way to the car, "I'll do what Joy says and update you all once I've done it."

Jaehyun let out a laugh. "Why do you make it sound so serious?"

You frowned, offended, but your conversation was interrupted when you locked eyes with Chenle, who smiled and waved at you. You waved back happily, a happy glow settling on your cheeks.

“Dear God,” Jaehyun groaned. “He’s already making you delusional.”

You swatted him, and he quickly amended, "Not delusional! A perfectly sane human who will be telling us all about their attempts to gain Chenle’s love!”

You harrumphed, taking long steps with your legs straightened out, until Joy wrapped her hands around you and laughed joyfully. “Come now, Y/n! They're just teasing.”

You stuck your tongue out the side of your mouth and glared at Jaehyun. He shrugged uselessly and you finally relented.

“Fine, I’ll tell you all about it. If anything happens.”

“When anything happens, you mean. Have some faith in Joy’s plan,” Dokyeom interjected, winking at Joy.

She grinned back at him and you rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

The studio was warm with the body heat radiating off the few of you piled up on each other, limbs strewn out in a tangled fashion, heads resting on anything soft you could find. Your head was buried deep within your sweater, which you had laid upon the wooden floor, and Winwin was snuggled up into your side. Somewhere, Suzy and Dokyeom were also lying among the scripts and pens lying on the floor, heads supported by their forearms and each other’s legs.

Nobody dared to move much—if they did, they might tickle whoever they were leaning on, and if they breathed too deeply, the person lying on them might shift away. Anyway, everyone was too tired to move much, mouthing their own lines to themselves, occasionally thumbing to the next page or groaning in frustration. You propped your elbows up and struggled into a half-sitting, half-lying down position, glancing over at Johnny, who was speaking to one of the stage crew while gesturing wildly to the stack of props next to them.

Joy awakened from her nap, rubbing her eyes as she looked around. “What time is it?” she asked, spotting you as the only one who wasn’t busy with something else.

“5.50,” you replied. Joy nodded, pulling her shoes back on, before tucking her hands into the deep pockets of her jacket and getting to her feet.

She walked over from her corner of the room to your spot on the floor, crashing next to you, causing Winwin to look up at the sound, eyes rolling up. Joy waved at him and smiled.

Winwin smiled back, rolling over onto his stomach as he surveyed the studio. He rubbed his hands together, then pressed the back of his palm against your neck, and you shuddered at how cold he was.

His body was warm, but his fingers weren’t, so you passed him the sweater that you had been lying on, and he buried his hands within it to gain some of the warmth you had transferred to it.

Your phone buzzed as you clambered to your feet. You pulled it out from your pocket, mouth widening in shock when you read the message.

“Joy,” you whispered urgently, tugging on her sleeve, “What does it mean when someone says they have a surprise for you?”

Joy let out a sharp, delighted gasp. “What?” Her shocked reply pulled Dokyeom out of his trance, and your friends gathered around your phone while Winwin stretched his legs out, a short distance away, weight resting on his palms as he watched you with an amused smile playing on his lips, head tilted to one side.

Joy skimmed through the messages quickly, her smile fading when she finished reading all of them. “I don’t think it means much, since he said his friend bought it for him. It kind of sounds like he’s just using you so he doesn’t feel guilty about letting the gift go to waste.”

“Ah,” you sighed, disappointed. “So it’s nothing special?”

Joy shrugged. “I mean, he’s giving you something, and that means he at least remembers you and is friendly towards you.”

“Can’t take care of these kinds of things well?” Dokyeom interjected, reading off the message, and you smiled inwardly at how delayed his reaction was. “What, is he giving you some kind of living organism or something?”

“... Shit.” You pressed your hand to your forehead. “You don't think he got me a plant, do you?”

Nervous laughter escaped Joy’s lips, shortly followed by Suzy’s full-on chortling. Soon, the sound of laughter in the room was so loud that you could barely hear Johnny calling for the actors to come back to the centre. That was, until his voice, amplified by the microphone strapped to his body, clearly enunciated, “Lee Dokyeom and company, if you’re not over here in one minute, you can all kiss goodbye to your current roles.”

The laughter soon died down to smothered giggles as you ran over to the sides of the studio that you were starting on, Jaehyun nudging you as you rehearsed your lines by the side. “Didn’t you kill the bean sprouts you tried to grow in elementary school?”

You rolled your eyes. Ever since Winwin had given you a plant for your birthday and your parents had let slip that you were notoriously bad at taking care of anything living, including yourself, your friends had never let you live it down.

“Yes, Jae, that’s old news. Shouldn’t there be other things for you to think about right now? Say, like making sure you don’t accidentally start rapping your lines?”

Jaehyun groaned. “That was one time, Y/n–“

Before he could say any more, you were scurrying into the middle, one hand on Dokyeom’s shoulder as you bounced on the balls of your feet. You pretended to lose balance, falling forward into a front roll, and Dokyeom rushed forward, peering over the half-completed balcony prop.

“Abu!”

You got to your feet, dramatically dusting off your shoulders before grinning widely at Dokyeom, head cheekily cocked to one side before you leapt back behind the balcony prop.

All thoughts of Chenle were soon pushed to the back of your mind as you immersed yourself in the role.

Those thoughts never left the back of your mind, however, and they still plagued you as you sipped the ice-cold water from the water cooler and swirled your noodles around, taking slow bites while Suzy ate contentedly.

“You okay?”

You shrugged, forcing yourself to take another bite before looking at the empty bowl and sighing heavily. Rehearsal had ended earlier than expected, and it was barely 10pm, yet you felt more tired than usual.

“I guess I’m just a little tired of life.”

Suzy raised her eyebrows, reaching over to hug you wordlessly. When she pulled away, her hand remained on your shoulder as she made eye contact with you. Each word she said was intentional and carefully enunciated as she told you, “That’s normal. We all get a little tired of life sometimes, especially when we’re nearing a big production and hours are long, making it easy for us to lose sight of what the goal is. Just remember that you have us—” she gestured vaguely in the direction of the empty studio—“and that we’re always here for you.”

You nodded, slumping against the table and burying your head in your hands. “It’s just– I want to love and be loved, you know? And it’s so hard to do that in this day and age.”

Suzy smiled ruefully and hummed in understanding. “I know it’s tough. I won’t lie and say it gets better, but at some point we all figure out something that works for us. Just hang in there for a while, you’ll find your way too.”

Her words hung in your mind the entire ride home, even as you stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for your floor. You took advantage of the short elevator ride to take a break, shutting your eyes until the “ding” sound of the elevator doors opening called you back to reality. 

You were greeted by a potted plant sitting next to your shoe rack when you came up to your door, and you slipped your shoes off and picked up the plant, pushing open the door to your house. You set the plant down on your dining table, glad that there was a plate underneath to prevent the water from leaking onto your floor.

You left the plant there while you went to wash up, and came back afterwards with your phone in hand.

Sitting at the table, you turned the plant around aimlessly, contemplating what to do with this “surprise” your neighbour had given you with pure intentions. A white sticker caught your attention, and you began to search up the name, looking up what kind of care it needed. Fortunately for you, it was a succulent and fairly low maintenance; although you knew that you were still perfectly capable of killing it.

You decided to put it on your window sill, where it was sure to get plenty of direct sunlight while you were fast asleep, and watered it sparingly. You sat at the table, admiring the view of the plant anyone else would have if they were to step foot inside the house, a smile breaking out across your face.

You caught yourself, shocked at how quickly you had come to accept the gift, despite your earlier protests about owning a plant.

Before you could think any better of it, you were dialling Winwin’s number.

He picked up the video call, groggily wiping at his half-closed eyes. “Honestly, Y/n, have you ever heard of this thing called ‘sleeping’? It’s really good. You should try it.”

“I have a succulent. On my window sill. And I'm happy thinking about how it’ll look every time I come home.”

“Wow,” Winwin drawled. “What a tragedy.”

“I’m serious, Sicheng. I’ve never managed to keep a plant alive before. But the moment Chenle gives me one, I'm staying up late trying to figure out how best to take care of it. Do you know how terrifying that is?”

Winwin rubbed his face tiredly. “Do you need me to come over? You sound like you’re having a crisis.”

You shook your head. “No, can you just… Stay on the call with me?”

Winwin nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

A moment of silence ensued before he asked, “So, what’s up? Suzy told me you were feeling a little tired of life.”

You shrugged. “I don't know, I'm just… thinking a lot, I guess. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship.”

Three years, to be exact. Your high school sweetheart had lasted all of four years before deciding halfway through university that your “high commitment to theatre” made it “impossible” for the two of you to work out.

Since then, you had never been in a relationship, though not for lack of trying—you simply had high standards that were difficult to meet, and all your previous dates had barely met the bare minimum. Once, you had jokingly suggested that you and Winwin date, but he had turned down the offer without blinking. In hindsight, dating within the troupe would have been messy whether or not the two of you broke up.

“Y/n,” Winwin called, pulling you out of your stupor.

You blinked at him. “Yeah?”

“Nothing. Just, talk to me, yeah? You know I can’t read your mind.”

You nodded. “I know. I was just thinking.”

“We’ve discussed this. If you want to talk to me, you’re going to actually have to talk. You can't just be silent and expect me to understand.”

“Can't we just sit in silence for a while?” you asked pleadingly.

Winwin shook his head. “You know what comes from sitting in silence. Those thoughts in your head never go silent, do they? You’re going to have to voice them aloud for me to know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m just wondering if I really like Chenle, or if I’m seeking out love to the point that I mistake any form of human interaction outside of our group as a potential romantic relationship.”

Winwin’s gaze softened. “I think you’re being paranoid. Your feelings are completely valid, don't discredit them like that. Why don't you just wait it out and see? There’s no harm in getting to know him better.”

“But you know me, Sicheng. You know I’m scared to commit. I'm scared to lead him on and then dip when he reciprocates.”

Winwin smiled ruefully. “Haven’t you ever heard of facing your fears? You’re good at stepping out of your comfort zone. What changed?”

You shrugged, playing with the hem of your shirt. You stood from your spot in the dining area, making your way into the bedroom, where you snuggled under the covers as Winwin watched you expectantly.

“I guess you’re right. There’s no harm in getting to know him better. I am planning to stay in this place for a long while.”

Winwin grinned. “That’s the Y/n I know. Get some sleep, you’re going to have to talk to Chenle tomorrow.”

You frowned, mouth opening to ask what he meant, but you were too slow. As always, Winwin was one step ahead, hanging up before you could say anything.

sicheng: don't think i’ve forgotten about your promise to execute joy’s plan sicheng: i'll make sure you carry it out tmrw

You sighed. You weren’t sure whether to be grateful to have a friend like Winwin.

It was drizzling when you stepped out of the elevator, a light breeze blowing into the lift lobby. Other than the quiet whistle of the wind, everything else was silent—just how you liked it.

You took your time taking off your shoes, leisurely unlocking your door, when you heard the click of someone else’s lock and the sound of a door opening. You turned around, only to see Chenle dressed in a hoodie and shorts, his tousled hair obscuring his face.

He ran a hand through his messy hair, barely managing to tame it, when he finally looked up from his feet to you. His slippers remained forgotten on the shoe rack by the door as you made eye contact, breathing out a soft “oh”.

Chenle froze, hand groping about for the doorknob, then deciding to forget about it and slipping his feet into a pair of slippers. He stepped away from the door frame, shutting the gate behind him, and jerking his head at you.

“Just got back?”

“Yeah.” There was a pause while you contemplated asking Chenle if he was drunk, but he answered your question before it was even out of your mouth.

“I’m sober, by the way. Just hungry. I was going to head out to the store nearby to get some noodles, do you wanna come?”

You looked down at yourself, then back at the open door, into the empty apartment where there was nothing waiting for you anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to go with Chenle, right?

“Sure.”

Both of you stopped just before exiting the apartment building, opening your umbrellas as you stepped out into the rain, one after another, The wind had picked up, and the rain was starting to grow heavier, blowing into your face.

Chenle tugged the hood of his jacket up, cocking his head to one side. You followed him, staying silent on the walk there until Chenle spoke up.

“So, what’s your job? Do you often end this late?”

You side-stepped to avoid stepping into a puddle, not looking up as you replied, “I’m an actor.”

“You act in movies?”

You shook your head, then remembered he probably couldn’t see you with it being so dark outside. “I’m preparing for a musical.”

Chenle came to an abrupt halt, and you stopped walking, tearing your eyes away from his worn trainers to meet his eyes. You tried not to think too hard about the amusement in his black eyes, or the way it made them sparkle just a little, even with the sky being pitch black all around you.

“SorryIwasbusylookingatyourshoes,” you mumbled, all in a rush.

“What?” Chenle leaned in, and you took two frantic steps backwards.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said!” you yelled, then covered your mouth immediately. Nothing was going to plan!

Chenle let out a chuckle and you glanced at him, trying to decipher the look in his eyes as he smiled at you. “Am I making you nervous?”

“No.” You tried not to let your voice waver when you repeated it. “No, I’m not nervous. What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really talk to people much unless they’re customers, or when I’m playing on the court. It’s been a while since I’ve had a conversation. I didn’t want to cross a line, so let me know if anything I’m doing is making you nervous.”

“You’re not– you’re not making me nervous, Chenle. I’m fine.”

Chenle’s lip curled up slightly. “You remembered my name.”

“Yeah.”

Chenle started walking again, and you matched his pace, trying not to think too hard about what was coming out of your mouth, or why he might have gone silent.

“What kind of noodles do you like?”

You frowned, trying to think of all the noodles you had ever tried. Winwin had definitely taken you out to some Chinese restaurants before, but the only thing you remembered was that noodles were “mien”, which wasn’t helpful in your current situation at all.

“Um, I’ll eat any kind? Chow mien, maybe?”

“Chǎo miàn,” Chenle repeated, and you weren’t sure if he was correcting you. “Yeah, I can do that. That just means fried noodles, though. What kind of noodles do you want me to fry?”

“Oh, uh–“ you stuttered anxiously. “I’m not– I’m not really sure? I’m fine with whatever, really.” I don’t know what the names of the different noodles are, and I don’t want to sound like an idiot in front of you, you added to yourself.

“Okay. Lā miàn it is, then.”

You repeated it softly to yourself under your breath, and were surprised when Chenle corrected your pronunciation. You hadn’t expected him to have such keen hearing, nor had you expected him to actually care about how you pronounced it. Winwin had never really cared; you thought that he had probably given up a while back, after hopelessly trying to get you to say “nǐ hǎo” for one of the jokes he had made to you.

Chenle was quite the opposite.

He was extremely persistent, to the point that it should have been annoying, but you were honestly just happy that the conversation wasn’t dying down.

While he led you through the noodle aisle, confidently making his way to where the lā miàn was, he pointed out the other kinds of noodles, making you practise saying the name of each one before he moved on. By the time he finally reached the lā miàn boxes, you were on the verge of snatching a box of uncooked noodles off the shelves and dragging Chenle out, just so he would stop criticising the way you struggled to pronounce the tones.

As Chenle scanned the noodles, you finally mustered up the courage to ask, “Chenle, do you guys have neighbourly meetings?”

“What?” he replied, distractedly tapping one of the options on the screen and tapping his card to pay for the noodles. He tore the receipt off, barely looking at it as he folded it and put it in his pocket, before turning his attention to you. “What are neighbourly meetings?”

“You know, like when you meet up with your neighbours and, I don’t know, discuss stuff pertaining to your apartment flats, or maybe just play pool?”

Chenle raised an eyebrow. “Did you have that in your previous building?” he asked, walking out. You weren’t far behind, inwardly letting out a sigh of relief when you noticed that the rain had lightened up.

“…no?”

Chenle let out a laugh that had your heart pounding in your chest, youthful and genuine, and you wondered why you had never seen him outside with his friends. If you were his friend, you would want to spend every waking second with him, just to hear his cheerful laughter and infectious joy.

“Then what makes you think we would have it?”

“I don’t know.” You decided not to tell him that Joy had suggested it, and you had never really stopped to consider if it was something that people even implemented anymore.

“I guess we do have something similar, but we haven’t held them in a while. We call them ‘Fifth Floor Film Fridays’, or F4 for short.”

“Sounds a little cringe, don’t you think?”

“Hey, watch your words. I came up with the name.”

“My bad. Didn’t know you were cool like that,” you said, tucking the handle of your umbrella under your armpit so you could raise both hands in a gesture of surrender.

“Thanks. Anyway, Renjun came up with the idea so we could speak to Jisung, since he had just moved into the flat at the time. You know how each floor only has four flats? Well, Renjun and I lived in two of the flats, and there was an old man living in yours. He used to give us candy when he saw us coming back from school,” Chenle reminisced.

“He always had his door open, with only the gate closed as he sat on his rocking chair and read the newspaper. He passed away a year ago, and his children have been trying to sell the flat for a while before you bought it. Either way, at the time the only other kid on our floor was Jisung, but he was shy and kind of awkward and always looked the other way when we saw him in the corridors in school.”

You couldn’t imagine what that would be like. If Chenle ever tried to speak to you in high school, you were sure that you would eagerly reciprocate his energy, even if you were later teased by your friends about it.

“So, Renjun and I talked loudly about F4 when we passed by him one day, and I pretended to remember that Jisung lived on our floor too, and ‘conveniently’ asked him to join.”

“…and it worked?”

“Of course! We just haven’t had them in a while, since, you know, we were all in university. But Renjun and I have both graduated, and Jisung’s never been one for studying, so I’m sure I could tell them to make time this Friday.”

When you didn’t reply, Chenle added, “You’re free then, right?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I am,” you lied. You weren’t sure if Johnny would let you take the time off, but you were sure if you tried to beg, you could probably pull it off.

“Then it’s set,” Chenle said, unlocking his door. You left your shoes outside by the door, padding softly across the floor, too scared to make any noise. Chenle locked the door, then pressed his index finger to his lips in a shushing motion, leading you into the kitchen.

He turned the light on, glancing at the bedroom door, presumably to ensure that his parents hadn’t woken up.

“You can just take a seat,” he told you, taking cutlery and two bowls from the cupboards. You took them from him, setting them on the dining table while he retrieved the various ingredients for the fried noodles and set a pot of water on the stove to boil.

“Last time I cooked for someone else, I was trying to impress someone I had over,” he said, conversationally.

“Oh yeah? How did that work out?”

He shook his head with a quiet laugh. “It didn’t. I just felt the need to cook for them because they only ever came to the family pizzeria to see me, and they would always compliment me on the pizza, but I don’t actually make those. I just collate orders and tell my parents what the customers want.”

Rolling his eyes, he continued, “So obviously, it hurt my ego that they didn’t know all about my cooking prowess. And because I’m so painfully Chinese, of course I subjected them to all the Chinese vegetable dishes my parents made for me growing up. They barely touched any of it because, as it turned out, they didn’t like eating their vegetables.”

“What were they, five?” you scoffed.

Chenle grinned. “I know, right? My parents told me not to invite anyone else who couldn’t eat the food I cooked after that.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I don’t like your cooking?”

Chenle smiled threateningly. “I’ll kick you out without hesitation.”

“It’s good that I’m not picky, then.” You stood up from your chair, walking over to watch Chenle strain the hot noodles and cool them down with ice before tossing what felt like random sauces into the pan and stir-frying the noodles.

“Can I help?”

Chenle hummed. “Not really. I mean, you’re still a guest.”

“Okay.” You watched him from a safe distance, stepping aside when he turned off the fire to allow him to walk towards the dining table and scoop half of the noodles into each bowl.

“Enjoy.”

You picked up your chopsticks, clicking them twice before thanking Chenle for the food and taking a bite.

Chenle, for all his bravado, didn’t move to take a bite until a smile broke out on your face, and he looked visibly relieved when you didn’t criticise his cooking. He began to eat his own noodles, not forgetting to compliment himself, and you agreed with raised eyebrows and a sigh. 

Afterwards, he walked you to the door, waiting until you had closed the door behind you to return into his own house, beginning to wash the dishes.

Meanwhile, you stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror with shampoo running down your neck, wondering how the hell you had ended up eating stir-fried noodles at Chenle’s place at midnight.

Once out of the bathroom, though, you had come to terms with the fact that it was a real thing that had happened, and not just some kind of hallucination. When your hair was dry, you lay down in bed, burying your face into your pillow and screaming.

Then, before you could think too much about it, you resolved to go to sleep.

Blocking was your worst enemy. It always had been for someone like you, who always forgot that the stage had limited space and you all had to move around while being aware of each others’ presence.

You did a cartwheel for what felt like the hundredth time, wobbling on your feet as you tried to regain your balance, hand pressed to your forehead in an attempt to ease the headache caused by the blood rushing to your brain. Johnny glared at you and you realised that you were half a metre away from where you were supposed to be. Still dizzy from the amount of time you had spent upside down, you took a few shaky steps to the yellow cross demarcating the spot you were supposed to be in.

“Stop, let’s take 5. Y/n, you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I just can't do it full-out, my hands are shaking,” you told him softly, holding your hands out for him to see that they were trembling.

Johnny took one long, hard look at you and shook his head. “You’re taking tomorrow evening off.”

“What?”

“We’re all taking tomorrow evening off, in fact. Let’s make it a long weekend.”

Still confused, you stared at him as he announced it to everyone, gesturing for you to drink water. You came back right after, tapping Johnny on the shoulder as you asked, “Why are we having a long weekend?”

Johnny smiled warmly. “I forget you guys are still young sometimes. You shouldn’t be spending your early 20s burning yourselves out like this. Get some rest, watch a movie or something.”

“That’s what he said,” you told Joy, who had just asked how you managed to get Johnny to call Friday evening off. She smiled, hugging her knees close to her chest as she looked at you.

“He really has a soft spot for the younger ones,” she mused. “So, how are you spending your Friday off? Any plans?”

You laughed softly, thinking about how you’d asked Chenle if there were any neighbours’ meetings you could attend. “I do, actually. Turns out my neighbours do this thing called ‘Fifth Floor Film Fridays’ sometimes.”

“Tacky name,” Joy commented.

“Chenle came up with it.”

“Ah. Then it’s tasteful.”

You let out a snort. “No need for the switch-up. I thought it was pretty tacky too. But that’s not important, what’s important is that I'm going over to his house tonight for it.”

Joy leaned forward, a glimmer in her eyes as she said, “Run it by me. What you’re bringing, what time you’re going to be there, who’s going to be there. Tell me all about it.”

Later that night, you were holding down the lid of your frying pan while you popped the corn kernels you had just bought in a pan full of butter, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t end in catastrophe.

After what seemed like forever, the timer on your phone finally rang, and you removed the lid triumphantly, tossing the popcorn around so they wouldn’t stick to the pan. Luckily, the method you had used seemed to work, and you only had to throw out a small amount of unpopped kernels while pouring the popcorn into an open container for it to cool down.

You washed the pan and checked out your outfit in the mirror one last time before spraying a mild perfume on your wrists and pressing them against the sides of your neck.

Carrying the container of popcorn and precariously balancing a pack of sour strips on top of it, you pressed the doorbell to Chenle’s house, wondering if anyone else had arrived yet.

Your question was quickly answered by the man sitting in the living room, barely visible from the door when Chenle opened it and greeted you with a smile, but perfectly audible as he spelled the name of the movie aloud.

You entered the apartment cautiously, feeling unexpectedly nervous, but your fears were soon eased when you made eye contact with the man sitting on the sofa. He paused his struggle with the remote for a second while trailing his gaze up and down your figure, before breaking out into a smile.

“Hi, I'm Renjun.”

“Hi, Renjun. Do you need help with the TV? Oh, I’m Y/n, by the way.”

“I know,” he replied cryptically. “Chenle’s mentioned you before.”

You looked at Chenle in surprise, and he stared back at you. “What? I had to explain why I suddenly wanted to revive F4.”

Right. So that was all it was. Nothing to overthink about, you reminded yourself. You found a seat on the sofa, holding your hand out for the remote, and Renjun grudgingly handed it to you. “I can do it myself, you know.”

“Oh, I know. I just thought I’d help and speed up the process a little,” you quipped. Chenle let out a high-pitched giggle, squeezing between Renjun and the armrest, teasingly nudging his friend.

“Y/n’s calling you slow,” he said, as if Renjun hadn’t already gotten it. The latter rolled his eyes and rested his chin against his hand in a bored fashion, while you triumphantly displayed the movie that Renjun had been trying to find.

The doorbell rang again, and Renjun got up from the sofa that time, warmly hugging Jisung as he entered.

The tall, lanky man followed Renjun into the house, shutting the door behind him and giving Chenle a wave. Catching sight of you, he stopped in his tracks, tugging on Renjun’s shirt and mouthing, Is that Y/n?

Renjun nodded, almost imperceptibly, and you cracked a smile at their silent exchange. “Yes, Jisung, I'm Y/n. Nice to meet you.” You extended a hand to him, and the introverted man hesitantly took a few steps forward before taking your hand and shaking it.

Jisung set the grapes he had brought down on the table, mouth widening as he caught sight of the packet of candy. “Sour strips? Those are my favourite,” he gushed, reaching one hand out for them. “Can I open them? Who brought these?”

“Yeah, sure, you can open them.”

Jisung turned his big-eyed stare to you, and you found yourself melting in his gaze. “You brought it?”

You nodded, and Jisung raised a palm to cover his mouth. “Ah, really! Thanks.”

You nodded to acknowledge him, and Renjun stood up to turn the lights off, while Chenle turned the television on. Somehow, with all the movement going on, you ended up in the centre of the sofa, wedged between Jisung on your left and Chenle on your right, while Renjun sat on the right-most with his elbow propped up on the arm rest. 

With the cosy atmosphere and the lights turned down low, it was easy for you to forget that you barely knew the other neighbours, leaning forward while stuffing popcorn into your mouth, fully invested in the storyline. You almost forgot that the others weren’t your group of friends, who liked to talk loudly during the movie about the cinematic lighting or the expressions the actors made.

When you made a comment about the delivery of a specific line, Renjun turned to glare at you, but stopped when he saw the way Chenle watched you. A delighted smile on his lips, he watched your expressions like it was more entertaining than the movie, only turning his attention back to the screen once you stopped speaking.

Renjun tapped his finger against his chin, observing you more carefully.

You weren’t making a lot of physical contact with either of the men seated on either side of you, but you were very vocal, unafraid to voice every thought that crossed your mind aloud. You easily matched Chenle’s energy, nodding seriously and fuelling him whenever he started talking about one of the scenes, even when he got to the point that usually Jisung would sigh and smile exasperatedly, reaching out to place a hand over Chenle’s mouth to shut him up.

When this continued for an hour straight, it became too much for Jisung to bear. With a soft cry of frustration, he ran his hands through his hair, scrunching it up in irritation before he stood and headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Renjun rose from the sofa not long after, following Jisung’s lead into the kitchen.

In a hushed whisper, Renjun spoke to Jisung. “Do you see what’s going on out there?”

“It’s like there’s two of them,” Jisung complained. “We should never have said yes to tonight.”

“No,” Renjun replied. “That’s not the important part. Have you seen how Chenle looks at them?”

Jisung cocked his head in confusion. “No?”

“He looks at them like they're glowing, or something like that. He’s infatuated! I’ve never seen him let someone else speak without trying to interrupt them constantly to say his piece before. It’s almost like he agrees with everything they're saying.”

“Which is impossible, because Chenle never agrees with anyone,” Jisung gasped in realisation. “Do you think there’s something wrong with him?”

“What? No! Ugh, you’re so clueless.”

Jisung pouted, and Renjun folded immediately. “Fine, you’re not clueless. I think Chenle likes Y/n, whether he knows it or not.” Renjun stuck his head out, peeking at the two sitting on the sofa, then nodded to reaffirm his point.

“So… what are we going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Renjun sighed, with a roll of his eyes, “That’s how good dramas play out. Sometimes, you’ve got to let the characters figure out what to do on their own. Has our interference ever helped Chenle get into a relationship?”

Jisung opened his mouth to say yes.

“A long-lasting one,” Renjun hastily amended. Jisung reconsidered each time they had tried to set Chenle up with someone, including the disastrous last time when the person they were trying to set Chenle up with only liked Italian food, and never ate any sort of vegetables.

Jisung slowly shook his head.

“Exactly. Let’s just leave them alone this one time, okay? We’ve got to have a little faith in Chenle.”

Almost as if hearing his name, Chenle looked up from the sofa, eyebrows furrowing as he caught sight of his two friends standing in the kitchen and whispering to each other.

He raised one hand, beckoning his friends back, and they set down their glasses and went back to join the two sitting in the living room.

Noting that you were still absorbed in the movie, Chenle leaned over to Renjun and murmured, “What was that all about?”

Renjun shrugged innocently. “I was just asking Jisung how his last year was.”

“I want to know too, why did you guys have to go over there and act like it’s a secret or something?”

“Once the movie is over, we can talk all about it, ok? I want to hear about Y/n too.”

“Deal.” Chenle raised his pinky, and Renjun reluctantly took it, hooking his pinky with Chenle’s.

“Did you never grow up?”

“Nope,” Chenle said cheerfully.

A feeling of dread began to overcome Chenle as he saw you stumbling into his family’s pizzeria with nothing but a six pack of beer and your phone, collapsing at a table near the counter. Business was slow at 9am on a Wednesday, especially since they had just opened, and Chenle found himself swearing under his breath before walking over and sitting down opposite you.

You cracked open your first can of beer, sipping slowly at it while staring straight at Chenle, who couldn’t be bothered to hide his disgust.

“Seriously? It’s 9am on a weekday. What’s got you like this?”

“You forget that my sleep schedule is royally fucked, so this is basically 3am to me,” you told him, one finger pointing vaguely at him.

“And that gives you the right to come in here and drink to your heart’s content? I’m not having you sitting around here drunk. It’s bad for business.”

You smiled bitterly. “What business? The place is empty anyway. I'll be sober before lunchtime, don't worry. The alcohol content in the beer is pretty low, and I still have to go to work after this.”

You managed to gulp down an entire can, cracking open a new one, before Chenle sighed and took the rest away from you.

“Seriously, Y/n, what’s wrong?”

“It’s not about my ex,” you said immediately. “I’m well and truly over him.”

Chenle couldn’t help the pang of jealousy he felt, but he squashed it down, gritting his teeth and saying, “Don't care. Didn’t ask. Don't answer my question with a negative.”

“I can't tell you who it’s about,” you said. “It would be mad embarrassing.”

“You must still be somewhat sober then,” Chenle muttered. “Can I leave you?”

“No.” You grabbed his wrist, and he promptly sat back down. “Don't go. I'll tell you.”

“Okay.”

“It’s about me, selfishly.”

“It’s not selfish to have problems,” Chenle said, trying to comfort you, but you waved it off.

“Don't interrupt. I didn’t ask for your opinion.” Chenle shut up pretty quickly when you said that, so you continued, “I had this conversation a while back with Sicheng. Told him I was scared I was just looking for romance, and that a crush I thought I had was just me trying to push myself into a relationship. But now it’s no longer about not being sure of my feelings.”

Chenle didn’t know why, but some part of him wanted to get up and leave the conversation before he had to hear any more about the guy who had your heart. He didn’t want to hear you talking about some guy you liked unless it was him, because it was making him so jealous he could hardly breathe.

“I’m scared to commit,” you confessed. “I know I like him and I'm fairly sure he likes me back, and I don't know if he knows but I'm scared to tell him in case it all becomes too real for me to handle.”

Chenle felt his heart rate grow impossibly slow. There was, in his opinion, the slimmest of chances that the person you were talking about was him.

And while Chenle had always been an opportunist, he was also practical. He wasn’t about to jeopardise his chances by confessing while you were drunk, especially not when he was fairly certain you would forget the whole interaction by the time it was night. That would be simply humiliating for him, and his pride wouldn’t be able to handle it.

So to keep his pride at least somewhat intact, Chenle only said, “I think you should confess.”

“Really?” You looked at him sceptically, reaching for another can of beer. Chenle would have stopped you a second time, but instead of trying to drink it, you started lining three cans of beer up, stacking another two cans on top of it. Although you tried to place the last empty can atop the other two to finish the pyramid, your shaky hand made it hard for you to achieve the feat.

After three failed attempts, Chenle grew impatient, and held your wrist to steady it while you placed the last can on top of the pyramid. With one hand holding your wrist in place, he used the other hands to loosen the death grip you had on the can, moving your hand aside so the can would stay on top of the pyramid.

You slumped over on the table, staring at your masterpiece happily.

“I like–”

Chenle reached over and placed one finger on your lips to shush you, shaking his head. Chenle wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t to hear a confession while he was working, on a Wednesday morning, while you were half-drunk only a few hours before you had to head to work at a studio half an hour away.

His heart wasn’t ready for it, anyway.

He stood up, left to get you some water, and came back while you continued to stare into space dazedly, forcing you to finish a cup of water before repacking the unopened cans of beer and throwing away the empty ones.

“I appreciate your openness,” he said sincerely. “But I’d rather hear it when you’re sober. I'm confiscating this—” he held up the remaining four cans of beer, putting them in the fridge before coming back to you—”and you are going for a walk with me.”

You followed limply as he took you out, walking one round around the block while you leaned on his shoulder for support. Chenle, having established that you were sober enough to take the bus to your studio, was taking you back to the pizzeria when your phone began to ring.

“Hello?”

“Y/n, I thought you were kidnapped or something! Are you okay?”

You nodded, then remembered that Winwin wasn't able to see you. "Yeah. Why?"

"We agreed to meet up, remember? This is the third time you've stood me up in two months."

You slapped your forehead. Of course you remembered! Just not when you were drunk and trying to confess to someone who had just rejected you because you weren't sober. You cast a glance at Chenle, who raised his eyebrows at you.

"Um, yeah. About that. Sorry?"

“I've literally been to this arcade three times to wait for you already, people are going to start thinking I'm a loser whose date never shows up!"

"Don't be dramatic, Sicheng. Didn't you call Jaehyun to accompany you the past few times?"

“Yeah, after you were a no-show for two hours because you overslept!"

You winced apologetically. It really was your fault, but there was nothing you could do about the past few times. "I'm coming now. Can you hold on for a while?"

“You'd better hurry."

 As you hung up, you turned to look at Chenle, but he was busy looking away.

"So, Chenle–"

Chenle shook his head. "You're still not fully sober yet. I don't want to hear anything from those lips. Go and catch Sicheng, I'm sure he's been waiting."

"Can we... talk about this some other time?"

Chenle nodded. "Whenever you're free."

You weren’t expecting to see Chenle sitting on the step in front of his door, phone in his hands, when you arrived back home that day after a long day out. It had been a tiring day for you, having gone to the arcade and then to the studio afterwards, and all you wanted was to take a hot shower and go to bed.

But there Chenle was, his phone screen brightly lit up, although he switched it off the moment you stepped into view. He flipped the phone in his hands carelessly, looking up to meet your eyes.

You gave him a long, hard look, then headed inside, dropping your things off in your bedroom before taking a shower. Minutes later, you emerged from the bathroom, towel around your neck as you dried your hair, leaving the main door open when you took a seat at your steps, directly opposite Chenle.

No one spoke for a few moments, and it was just the two of you existing, surrounded by an atmosphere of comfortable silence. The stars blinked at you as you stared aimlessly out the side, watching the moon glow dimly, shrouded by the cloud cover.

Finally, after a long silence, you stretched out your legs, your breath whistling softly past your teeth, and Chenle looked straight into your eyes and spoke.

“How’s life?”

There was a certain understanding that rippled through the air—you weren’t going to talk about the almost-confession that had happened in the morning. He probably thought you didn’t remember it, and even though you did, you weren’t going to bring it up. There were some things better left unsaid.

Anyway, if he didn’t want to hear it, it was probably because he didn’t want to reject you twice. You set your towel on your lap, hands clasped, leaning forward as you said, “It’s fine.”

“What play are you preparing for now?”

“Aladdin.”

“Ah.” Chenle was silent for a while, and when you didn’t speak, he asked, “Aren’t you going to invite me to come watch it?”

“Johnny hasn’t given us our allocation of tickets yet, so, no. But I can invite you in advance.”

“Wow. You sound like you’re being held at gunpoint to say that.”

You laughed hollowly. “Sorry, I’m not really in the best mood.”

Chenle scoffed. “Oh, yeah? Then when are you in the best mood? At 9am in the morning?”

“Wow.” You took a long, slow breath and buried your head in your hands. “You’re right. Sorry. I won’t show up like that again.”

“It's not about the business, Y/n. I was kidding when I said that. It’s about me being worried about you. Why do you have to drink all by yourself? Is there no better way to resolve your problems?”

“Now you’re making me feel in need of a drink.”

“Seriously? So that’s just your default response to anyone asking you if you’re okay? That’s fucked up, Y/n. You’re halfway there to being an alcoholic at this rate.”

“Actually, you’re wrong.” You could almost hear the pleading tone in your voice, begging him to please believe you, to please stop being mad over an issue that didn’t exist. “I don’t drink. Today was the first time in a few months.”

It was the first time drinking and not thinking about your ex, anyway. Hence your opening line.

“Then? What’s up with this ex of yours, and why was the first thing you said to me that it wasn’t about your ex? It sounded highly suspicious to me.”

There it was. The real root of the problem, the reason Chenle was acting the way he was. Curiosity and misplaced anger, and if you read far into it enough, a hint of jealousy. But of course you didn’t read into it, because that had never been your strong suit. You preferred to take things at face value, then drive yourself insane over the “what if”s, analysing hypothetical scenarios instead of the body language that was perfectly real.

“My ex and I were high school sweethearts. He was my first and only real relationship, and I’ve never let myself get too close to anyone since. I guess I’m scared to commit, scared for everything to be so real and then to lose another person. Again.”

Chenle huffed a sigh, getting to his feet and sitting next to you. You shifted over, squeezing with him on the small step, and his hand landed on your shoulder. A silent tear rolled down your cheek, and Chenle’s other hand wrapped you in a warm, wordless hug.

“I don’t want to let myself get close, Chenle. That’s why I was drinking today; I was torn between my desire to be loved and my fear of not being loved.”

Chenle pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, listening to your muffled words as you mumbled into his jacket, and he loosened his hug to look at you, eyes trailing down your face.

“Give it a chance,” he said, slowly. “Give loving a chance. I promise it’s not as scary as you’re making it out to be.”

“That’s a great line,” you sniffed, wiping away your tears. “Have you ever considered becoming a playwright?”

Chenle shook his head. “No, but maybe after I watch your rendition of ‘Aladdin’, I might change my mind.”

You grinned weakly. “I’ll do my best, then.”

The screen in the dressing room was black, with Johnny occasionally walking onstage with a microphone strapped to his head. His low heeled boots clicked against the floor, and though the microphone didn’t pick it up, you had heard the sound often enough to imagine it as you watched your director walking across the stage.

Clipboard in one hand and his phone in the other, Johnny’s eyebrows were knotted together as he spoke rapidly into the microphone. Most of it was for the stage crew, so you couldn’t hear what he was saying down in the dressing room, but occasionally you would get startled when he walked back into the wings—presumably going to call the actors back onstage—only to emerge again a few seconds later.

Finally, it was almost time for the show to begin, and you went to prepare in the wings.

”Oh God.”

You heard Winwin’s strangled whisper even with the thunderous applause resounding in the echoey chambers of the theatre, watching the lights slowly dim through the gap between the curtains. You turned to face him, momentarily pulled away from scanning the audience, only to see his face ashen and pale, mouth agape.

”What?”

“She’s there,” he breathed, more like a sigh than actual words.

”Who?”

”Ningning. My junior from university. The one that brought me flowers on graduation day?”

Ah, that one. You clearly remembered her, even though you had only met her once. That specific incident had been a core memory of yours, back when your group had gone to attend Winwin’s graduation ceremony. As a bunch of theatre kids, you were the only ones dressed in brightly coloured jeans and turtlenecks, among the other students in graduation gowns and the iconic black hats.

Jaehyun ruffled Winwin’s hair, and he ducked shyly, hands reaching up to smoothen out his curls. The gel in his hair made this a difficult feat, so he eventually gave up, as Jaehyun laughed at him delightedly.

The commotion only got louder when one of Winwin’s batchmates called for a photo, and the graduates hurried to find a place on the steps, Winwin making his way to the back naturally. Several cameras flashed, and someone yelled for them to stay still while he swapped out his phone for another one, and the chorus of “cheese” sounded once more.

”Shī gē!” A Chinese girl with a bright smile and her hair in a high ponytail came running up to Winwin as he made his way back to you, a bouquet of yellow carnations in hand. “Happy graduation!”

Winwin’s face flushed red at the sound of someone calling him “senior”, and laughter burst out at the uncommon sight of someone chasing after Winwin. Although you would admit that your best friend was rather attractive, his features also made him too intimidating for anyone to approach. In your years of friendship, only one person had made a move on Winwin, and they had been politely rejected—if you could call being dismissed with a confused tilt of Winwin’s head “polite”.

Ducking his head and covering his eyes with his too-long fringe, Winwin handed his phone to you, mumbling something about you taking a photo of them.

A wide grin spread across your face. “Of course!” You cheekily took a picture of them, watching the way Winwin immediately eased up, putting one hand around the girl’s shoulder, holding the bouquet in his other hand. The girl threw up a peace sign and you snapped the shot, returning the phone to Winwin.

“I hope to see you around!” The girl told him, waving before running off, and you nudged Winwin while raising your eyebrows teasingly.

“Senior, huh?”

Winwin buried his face in his palms. “Please don’t call me that!”

“Who is she, anyway?”

“One of my juniors. She came up to me after our performance, said she admired me a lot, and since then she’s been kind of vocal about her crush on me.”

“Ah.” You nodded in understanding. “She seems like a nice girl.”

Winwin shrugged. “I guess. She’s not my type.”

“I thought she wasn’t your type?” you asked, recalling the conversation the two of you had had. Winwin rubbed the back of his neck nervously in response.

“I thought so too.”

You let out a snort, just as the distant clapping in the audience died off and Suzy ran onstage. “Well, you’d best put on a show for her then.”

The curtains slowly parted, and Suzy began reciting her lines, while Winwin stared straight at the spot where Ningning presumably was. “You too,” he replied. “Chenle’s there too.”

It definitely wasn’t nerve-wracking to hear that.

You were definitely cool and collected when your turn to go onstage came, and you did a dramatic cartwheel into the scene, just like you had practised many times before. The blocking that had been drilled into you by Johnny's constant tireless corrections and hours of effort had ingrained itself into your muscles kept you from crashing into anyone, dancing around the “guards” onstage in an intricate choreography that had been practised ceaselessly.

For once, you were grateful for having gotten a role where you didn’t have to speak, schooling your face into the exaggerated expressions you had spent hours practising in the mirror. Your body was your medium, conveying a message without words, moving all over the stage, managing to interrupt dialogues comically without having to deliver a punchline.

You no longer cared about how foolish the costume looked, concerned only with how the play worked as a whole, determined to give your best. Even if that meant acting as a monkey, ignoring the audience’s laughter. It was a testament to how well you were playing the role, you reminded yourself. Their laughter wasn't an indication of how bad you were. Rather, it was the exact opposite.

The two hours passed in a flash, with intermission as your sole break in between. In the dressing room, you had time to catch your breath, drinking water and going into the green room for a bite of the sausage buns that had been prepared beforehand.

Before you knew it, thunderous applause was sounding, your sweaty hands holding tightly onto your friends as you took your final bow. A wide smile broke across your face, triumphant and ecstatic, filled with pure, unadulterated pride.

You had completed it, the play that you had been working so hard for for months.

It was finally over.

The dressing rooms were a mess, with people poking their heads in everywhere. Johnny walked through the corridor in his suit, a proud smile dancing across his lips as he hugged people and shook their hands, congratulating all of you on a wonderful show.

Hasty hands plunged through door cracks, holding costumes and water bottles and other paraphernalia. Winwin poked his head into your dressing room, duffel bag slung on his shoulder, casting a glance at your almost-empty room. Most of the actors were in a hurry to meet their parents, but your and Winwin’s parents weren’t watching the show, so you took your time to pack everything back in your bag.

“C’mon, Y/n, hurry up!”

“What for? Everyone else is having a meal with their parents, but I’m not.”

Winwin clenched his teeth and looked over his shoulder. “Chenle, remember?” he hissed through gritted teeth.

Oh. Right. That singular name had you zipping up your own backpack, grabbing your phone off the counter, and staring at your stage makeup in the mirror.

“I look like a clown,” you complained, as Winwin dragged you outside and up the stairs.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m fairly certain he doesn’t care.” Winwin wasn’t paying attention to you, though, too busy scanning the crowd to take a good look at you.

“There!” You followed Winwin’s finger to where Chenle stood, holding a bouquet in his right hand, his other hand tucked into his pocket as he listened to Jisung. He was dressed in a sweater and black slacks, a stark contrast to the casual clothing you were used to seeing him in, and you felt your chest tighten.

He looked up just as you appeared in front of him, eyes sparkling, one hand tightly clutching your bag so it wouldn’t fall off your shoulder. He took the sight of you in, your heart pounding when he didn’t speak, until he finally said, “You looked better as Abu.”

What? You let out the breath you were holding, about to curse him out, when he laughed, that high-pitched giggle that you had grown accustomed to hearing.

“You should see the look on your face! Here, this is for you.” He pressed the bouquet into your hands, and you received it thankfully, admiring its beauty.

Next to you, you were vaguely aware of Winwin accepting Ningning’s hug, and she handed him a rose that he held gently in his hand, turning to you. With his eyebrows raised high, he looked pointedly at Chenle, silently asking if you were going out to dinner with him.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to get ramen?” You looked down at your white shirt, cringing inwardly, but nodded anyway.

“Sounds good.”

Renjun glanced knowingly at Jisung, teasingly saying, “Good job on today, Y/n. You did well.”

You nodded absently, maintaining eye contact with Chenle, and Jisung nudged Renjun subtly. “What do you say we dip after tonight? Maybe give them some space?”

Renjun nodded in relief. “And here I was scared you’d never catch on.”

The four of you walked towards Renjun’s car, and as you slid into the backseat, you slipped your bag off your shoulder and onto the floor. Once your seatbelt was fastened, you began toying with the flower petals, and Chenle pointed his thumb at it. “Renjun chose those, and it’s a gift from all of us. A token of congratulations.”

“Oh.”

You were sure the disappointment was evident through your voice, because Chenle’s lip curled up into something resembling a smirk.

He leaned over, hand pressed into the middle seat separating you, close enough for you to smell the gel he had used in his hair and the cologne he had sprayed. 

“Why do you sound disappointed? Could it be that you were expecting a gift from me?”

Your brain short-circuited.

You moved away from him, squishing yourself against the window, croaking out a tentative “no”, only causing his smirk to deepen as he backed away, glancing at his phone. “That’s too bad, then,” he remarked, offhandedly adding, “Because I did get you a gift.”

Renjun cleared his throat, making eye contact with you through the mirror before saying, “Seriously, Lele, why are you like this? Stop teasing Y/n.”

“Their reactions are just too entertaining,” Chenle replied.

It was true. Your ears were as red as a tomato, and your cheeks were hot. You averted your eyes, studiously staring out the window until Jisung turned around in the passenger seat and beckoned you to come closer.

“He acts very confident, but he’s nervous too,” Jisung whispered.

“I heard that. I'm not nervous,” Chenle called.

“Yeah, right. I saw you psyching yourself up before the performance earlier. Who’re you trying to fool?” Jisung retaliated, immediately turning on Chenle.

The latter smiled sheepishly, turning away from you and facing the window.

“...and now he’s sulking,” Jisung announced, to which Chenle flipped him off, causing Renjun to laugh, lightening the atmosphere.

“Seriously, though. Don't be fooled by him,” Jisung stage-whispered to you. You shot him a knowing grin and nodded.

Renjun pulled into the parking lot, and you got out of the car, trailing after them.

That was, until you came to a fancy restaurant. Chenle was ahead of everyone else, but you tugged on his sleeve, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“Chenle,” you whispered. “I’m not dressed for this.” You gestured at yourself, forcing him to take a good look at what you were wearing, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What’s wrong? I don't get it, you look fine.”

“I’m dressed in a T-shirt and pants! This is the kind of place you wear a blazer to! Or at the very least, a collared, long-sleeved shirt!” you whisper-yelled.

“Okay, firstly, calm down. Look at what I'm wearing. Look at what Renjun and Jisung are wearing. None of us are dressed formally, alright? Secondly, you look perfectly fine dressed the way that you are. Thirdly, I reserved a room. With a door.” He paused to let it sink in. “So no one is going to look inside and judge you for what you’re wearing, okay?”

“I just feel like you should have told me,” you muttered.

“Y/n, darling, do you even hear yourself? How could I have told you? It’s a surprise! Telling you would ruin the whole point of a surprise.”

You would have retorted, but the pet name that he had called you made you too flustered to respond. You pressed your lips together and looked down to hide the growing blush on your cheeks as you nodded. “M’kay.”

“Okay,” Chenle repeated, opening his hand for you to take. When you didn’t notice, he slipped his hand into yours, tugging you towards the counter. “I have a reservation for four under Mr Zhong.”

“Right this way, sir.” A waiter held several menus in his hand as he directed you to follow him, weaving through the restaurant.

“Keep your head up,” Chenle murmured softly. “It’ll take their attention away from your clothes.”

You inwardly said a prayer that the colour of your cheeks had gone back to normal, lifting your chin and doing your best to mimic Chenle’s confident strides and the relaxed gait of his walk. His grip on your hand tightened momentarily, and just as quickly as he had squeezed your hand, he let it go, smiling at you reassuringly.

“Here’s your room, sir.”

The four of you headed into the room, removing your shoes before sitting cross-legged on the rattan mat.

Chenle handed out the menus, and you took your time to look through it, trying not to think too hard about the price of the food as you looked through it nervously. When no one spoke, you gently tapped Jisung on the shoulder.

”Jisung?” He looked up, and you asked, “Um, what should I get?”

“Why’re you asking me?” he asked with a disbelieving huff. “Ask Chenle.”

“Ask me what?”

“… Nevermind.”

Chenle looked up from the menu, narrowing his eyes. Renjun stood, jerking his head to the side, and Jisung subtly excused himself. You looked at them, confused, but Chenle’s gaze remained trained on you.

”Y/n, are you okay?”

You opened your mouth, about to speak, then closed it again. You rarely found yourself at a loss for words, but at the moment you had no way to express yourself. It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful for the effort Chenle was putting in, but you simply weren’t used to it.

Chenle’s expression softened. “Shall we go back home?“

You hesitated, licking your lips anxiously. Then, you nodded.

”Okay. Let’s go, darling.”

The door handle jiggled as you stood up, and Renjun and Jisung stood awkwardly in the door frame, and Chenle waved them over. “We’re going, enjoy your dinner.”

When they said nothing, he sighed. “Yes, I’ll pay for it.”

Renjun grinned. “Thanks, Lele!”

You only realised that your bag with all your costumes were still in Renjun’s car when you passed the carpark and Chenle didn’t slow down, but the way he slipped his hand into yours made it hard to focus on anything else. You decided that would be a problem for another time.

The restaurant turned out to be near the apartment building, so you and Chenle took a nice, long stroll through the neighbourhood, his gaze fixed on you while you looked anywhere but at his face: the asphalt, the stars, the trees casting creepy shadows on the pavement.

You paid attention to the way the soles of your shoes sank under you with each step, listening closely to the sound of Chenle’s steady breathing and the feel of his fingers between yours, thumb rubbing circles against the back of your hand.

“Y/n.” When he said your name, everything else went silent—from the crickets chirping to the wind rustling through leafy trees, the world fell quiet until all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears and the thumping of your heart.

“Chén lè.” The silence was excruciating, his name falling from your lips like a promise, a question, an offer all at once. Spelled out in the two careful syllables, pronounced perfectly in the same tones he’d introduced himself in.

He tugged on your hand, pulling you into his embrace, burying your head against his shoulder. There you stayed, tilting your head to the side so you could admire the view of him, the moon casting shadows on his side profile.

“I like you.”

Chenle smiled, and you could feel the way his lips curved up when his jaw moved against your head. “I know.”

“Since when?”

“Since you called me ‘cute’ the first time we met.”

“No. Way.” You pulled away, scouring his eyes for answers. “You’re kidding.”

He smirked. “I’m not.”

“You heard that?”

He shrugged. “You weren’t exactly quiet.”

Oh, hell. You buried your face as deep into his jacket as it would go, the fluffy material muffling your embarrassed mumbling. Chenle patted your hair, still smiling.

”Don’t worry.” When you didn’t move, he continued, “I like you too.”

“Since when?”

“Since the time you woke me up in the middle of the night, stumbling into your apartment, crashing against the gate and falling to your knees. You broke your own plant that time, the one that you keep outside the apartment, did you know that?”

“The one you gave me?” you asked, horrified.

”No, the other one. The one you bought like a month after. Anyway, I cleaned up the broken pot and the spilt soil by the light of my phone torchlight while you watched me, your sleep-deprived self blinking away sleep. That’s when I knew.”

Chenle leaned away from you, tilting your chin upwards, whispering, “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, moving in to press his lips against yours, wrists behind his neck. His hands found their way to your waist, holding you tightly as his lips moved against yours, soft and tentative and warm.

You sighed when he pulled away, causing him to quirk an eyebrow and ask, “That bad?”

“No,” you murmured, pressing kisses along his jaw. “That good.”

You would have continued kissing him, but he only grinned cheekily at you, moving your wrists away and interlacing his fingers with yours.

Chenle held onto your hand the entire way back, only letting go when you needed to dig into your pocket for your keys. The plant that he had replaced for you still sat on your doorstep next to your shoes, and it held a whole new meaning for you when you left your shoes on the rack and headed inside.

Chenle immediately noted the succulent resting on your window sill, but he said nothing until you stopped short in the middle of the living room.

”Ro…ses?”

The roses had been left in a vase on your dining table with a little bit of help from Winwin, who had asked you for your keys a couple of days before. You tenderly touched the velvet petals, struck speechless by the thoughtful gesture.

Chenle opened a small box, lifting your wrist up so he could fasten a bracelet around your wrist.

”Do you know what shǒu liàn means?” You shook your head. “It means bracelet in Mandarin. But the words for protecting your love have the same pronunciation. Shǒu liàn. Your name is engraved on the band, and there’s space for more charms,” he pointed out.

”There’s a pizza slice,” you commented. He nodded proudly. “And a monkey.” He nodded again, his proud smile growing wider.

“Do you like it?”

You swore you could hear him holding his breath as he waited for your answer.

”Not as much as I like you.”

”Oh, I know.”

And there was nothing else for you to do but to wipe that confident smile off of his face with a peck to his lips that left him blushing.

- fin -

series masterlist

[ericscroptop]

Video Games

✧ pairing: bf! juyeon x gf! reader

✦ genre: fluff (THIS IS SO SILLY IM SORRY)

✧ warnings: cursing, death (in the video game) teasing, pet names, kissing, insinuation of a praise kink, suggestive, brief mention of reader and juyeon’s memories of sexy time, might be a tiny bit cringe LOL

✦ word count: 2.1k words

✧ synopsis: headcannon of you and juyeon playing dti together because he would soooo play with you

✦ note: this is specifically about the dti halloween update lana quest so if you don’t play dti i am so sorry but i wanted to write this so bad bc in my mind, juyeon plays dti with me <3

⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹

“Mama, a nurse Julie behind you.” you joked to your boyfriend, eyes focused on your own monitor while you located the remaining maps. You two were lying on your stomach over his bed while playing on your own laptops.

Though, a couple seconds after saying that, as if on cue, the sound of the nurse shrieking comes from Juyeon’s laptop. Meaning she was indeed behind him, and killed him.

“Damn it! I can’t even get upstairs without her coming for me.” Juyeon groans. You couldn’t resist laughing at him dying, making his lips form into a pout from your teasing.

“I told you I’d do all the work. Just stay put now for your own sake.” you voiced, shaky as you stifled more laughter that threatened to break.

He pouted at your teasing and words, sighing hard. Luckily, you yourself have already completed all three chapters of the Lana Lore quest. But you wanted to share and introduce the challenge to Juyeon. It’s amusing seeing him navigate the game and teaching him how to play.

Especially when he cursed and became deeply frustrated. It was very reminiscent of how insanely pissed you got during your numerous attempts— specifically during chapter two.

Though, you’d consider yourself a pro now. So being on that side of the spectrum had you kekeing in watching him be such an amateur.

“It’s not funny.” contrary to his statement, his voice trembles with choked back laughter of his own. Ah, but it seems like it is, huh?

A hand of yours maneuvers to his back, running it up and down empathetically.

“Stop pouting you big baby. We’re almost done anyways.”

Juyeon sighs, listening to your words and staying put. Usually his demeanor was surprisingly calm while playing games, but for some reason, this was testing his patience more than it should.

His head leans towards your space, now bearing the weight of his head on your shoulder. He momentarily abandons his laptop to watch you move towards the location of the last map piece.

“I thought this was supposed to be a fashion game. All this for some clothes?” he huffs out.

“And to get Lana back! Lore for a fashion game is insane but you have to admit, it’s lowkey fun.” you casually picked up the last map, grinning now that you can access the Medical Wing. Juyeon moves his head, returning his attention back to his own screen.

“Okay, so this is the part where we have to run away from the nurse. This literally took me forever to complete at first but you can hold down the shift key to sprint. Just follow the red smoke and don’t bump into stuff.” you advise your boyfriend, a bit anxious inside that he might not complete it during his first attempt.

“I’m toast.” he shakes his head with defeat, baffled that there’s still more left in this chapter. He honestly wanted to return to the regular server and play dress up as a duo. Intense games were fun, but this was getting ridiculous.

“Dude, you got this! This is arguably the hardest part but I believe in you.” a hand goes to his shoulder, giving him a shake of encouragement to lock the fuck in. His head is faced down within his hands, pretending to be dramatic and avoid your gaze out of protest.

“Juyo… I’ll kiss you if you beat it.” you sing-song, and of course, that gets him to perk up. Your words get those cutesy lip corners of his curving more prominently, accompanied with a blushing of his cheeks at the bribe. He could never decline any invitation of affection from you. Man was a lover boy.

“You better.” he turns to you, giving you a look that suggests you better keep your word— or else.

“Promise. Now, you ready?”

“Let’s do it, baby.” his response has you all giddy inside. Simply playing a game with Juyeon was so wholesome and cute. It’s adorable seeing him play or participate in things you were interested in, even if it’s a “girly” fashion game with unexpected lore.

“Let’s fucking go!” you hyped both of you guys up as you opened the door.

It’s comical the way you both straightened your shoulders as the game music got intense, assuming position to fully concentrate. When it’s time to start moving, each of you stay focused, not bothering to even glance at the other person or their screen.

However, there wasn’t complete silence during this period.

The air was thick and taut, filled with suspense. You were both equally invested, even if this was your nth time doing this.

While running and sprinting, you threw out dramatic yelps when you’d accidentally run into an object. You recovered just in time, but the pressure was high no matter how many times you completed this, especially with a newbie player by your side.

Juyeon practically held his breath in while he navigated the path, your outbursts and minor cursing not bothering him one bit. You had a tendency to be a bit loud during games; He had grown used to it.

You and Juyeon happened to be the only ones playing in this server. You allowed your vision to dart just for a second towards the side every now and then to make sure he was still alive.

The screams of the nurse were repetitive and occasionally close, but you reached the finish line of the door first, snapping your fingers enthusiastically since you passed.

Juyeon was still in the middle of being chased, so you switched your focus to his screen. You didn’t dare make another peep, practically on edge to see if he succeeds.

But when the door is in sight, you absolutely have to say something out of excitement.

“You’re almost there!” you pepped up, mouth gaping in wonderment once he ended up finishing alongside you.

He lets out a sigh of relief, eyes crinkling at his achievement.

“Holy shit, you did it! I’m so proud of you!” you sit yourself up and put both your hands up in front. Juyeon follows suit, giving you a double hi-five and then clasping your fingers within his, shaking them eagerly with his tongue out in between his teeth.

“It literally took me a couple tries to run from her. That’s so unfair.” you sulked and tried to pull your hands away to continue on, but Juyeon kept a tight hold, refusing to do so.

“You’re what of me? Hm?” he decides to tease you, not letting what you said before that go unnoticed, attempting to get you to commend him again aloud for completing a silly game task. It was so precious seeing and hearing you so thrilled out over his victory.

“Praise kink alert!” you blurted out, laughing and casually teasing him back.

Your hands are still within Juyeon’s grasp, and he gives them a gentle squeeze, feigning offense and lets out a scoff.

“Oh, baby, let’s not even get into that discussion. We all know you’re the expert on that.” with that, he’s got a grin on his face like a cheshire cat. You walked yourself right into that one.

His counter has your mind immediately replaying the breathy, salacious things he’d say during the deed and other similar activities. You’ve been together for quite some time now that he knows what you like. The way your body responded to sweet praises and compliments was engraved into his mind.

You can’t deny that you loved being complimented and flattered by your one true love.

“Whatever.” you whined mixed with laughter, not even going to bother defending yourself because it would be a quick loss.

Juyeon smirks, always getting a kick out of flustering you.

“So where’s my reward?” Juyeon says, changing the subject once he remembers your promise.

“We still have one more chapter to complete. You don’t get Lana and the stuff until we finish all three.”

Hearing something completely different than what he was referring to has him giving you a look of impatience, allowing a chuckle to slip through. It’s even more comical because he could tell you genuinely forgot.

“I don’t mean that! I mean…” he pauses for a moment, dropping those hands of yours to move his dominant hand up towards your face.

His orbs appear playful, eyeing your features with curiosity and attachment to you.

“Where’s the kiss that you promised me?” his eyes don’t break away from your face, gleaming gaze drawing you in, unable to look away.

More so when he starts to thumb faintly at your cheek.

By each second that passes, your demeanor is becoming softer in a way where you’re growing meek and bashful. He patiently waits for a proper answer, eyes concentrated all over your face, connection towards you practically magnetic.

His charms make it ridiculously difficult to ignore and refuse his efforts of giving him what he wants. Truthfully, you could never deny a kiss from Juyo. You’d be a fool to do so.

As weak as he makes you, your tongue comes out strong to respond to him.

“Come and claim your prize then.” you bite your bottom lip, not helping the smile that presents itself from allowing yourself to say that flirtatious line, face heating up like blazes.

Juyeon immediately matches your smile in hearing that, still thumbing your cheek as he leans forward to attach his lips to yours.

They encounter one another with tenderness and bliss. Each of your smiles are felt pressed together, slowly fading to kiss properly.

A beautiful blend of appreciation and attraction is behind the kiss. It’s languid and gentle, time taken to truly spread the larger than life feelings of romantic, emotional connection.

This moment feels safe. You always felt warm and comfortable within his presence.

One of his hands holds dearly onto your chin, thumb still lazily stroking that full cheek of yours. Your own hands roam over your thighs as you begin to feel dreamy in love, trying to remind yourself that this scene is oh so real.

It was all innocent and sweet. He’d allow his lips to stay put against yours, smiling like a goofball when your lips remained stilled together. Then, he’d pull back just a small amount, you two exchanging looks of utter content before leaping in for perky pecks. Kissing Juyeon is always fun and left you eager for more.

Though unfortunately, it’s impossible to remain glued to his lips forever. Albeit, you’d argue kissing him is like oxygen for you, needed to carry on with life.

He nips at your lower lip teasingly before deciding to separate. Pure, visible radiance is reciprocated through one another’s features, paired with tinted pink cheeks.

You tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, trying to calm down your heart and brain that’s malfunctioning and whirling due to the kiss.

While he smirks at you, you notice your screens have gone black, enough time passing of inactivity for the devices to do so. That reminds you of the joined mission that is yet to be completed for Juyeon, momentarily distracted by the mini celebration you just shared.

You reach down over to drag your fingers to the touchpad of your laptop, screen waking up, displaying the catacombs of the third chapter.

“Okay, let’s get back to work.” you grinned through your words, attempting to dial down the playfulness between you two to get back on track.

His eyes follow yours towards your screen, then back to you returning to your position from earlier.

“There’s more?” he’s wide-eyed while you give him a look that screams: “Are you kidding me?!!?”

“Yes! I literally told you earlier. We finish off with a maze and short battle.”

Juyeon begins to copy your current pose, laying on his stomach next to you. The only difference is that he folds and crosses his arms in front of him, creating a makeshift pillow to rest his head over.

A grumbling noise comes out of him, similar to a cat purring. He’s ready to move onto something else, wanting to just lay with you and focus on nothing other than you. He loved playing different kinds of games with you, but frankly, that kiss turned his attention to now wanting more of you in a relaxed manner.

You sigh heavily, really wanting him to finish this challenge for your entertainment. A hand travels to his head, raking through his soft strands. His head stays put, enjoying your peaceful physical touch.

Guess you oughta bribe him once more.

“Come on, baby. More kisses and cuddles are waiting for you when we finish.” your fingers playing with his hair don’t stop as you use the cutesy voice (reserved only for him) that you’d pull out when necessary.

And without fail, it succeeds. His head lifts up, immediately fighting a smile after hearing some of his favorite words. Nonetheless, it ultimately turns up.

“Promise?” he can’t help but use his own gentle, cutesy voice in return, eyes kittenish.

You could practically melt.

“I promise, Juyo.”

⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹ ⊹︶୨୧︶⊹

[tj-is-down]

Ten Dollars (Line Cook! Scott Miller x Reader)

Okay so somebody posted a headcanon of Scott Miller but as a line cook (I believe it was @glossykissies) and I literally cannot stop thinking about it. I've plotted a whole story about him in my brain, and this is but a small snippet and all I've put in words. Just a quick warning that this is not proofread and if you see an error I will cry. But I think it's cute! So here it is.

Summary: Reader gets a shitty tip from a customer, and Scott has something to say about it

Word count: ~950 (I'm sorry this is so short! But if it goes well I'll hopefully post more.)

Warnings: Swearing, that's really it. Insecurities, reader is compared to another (girl) character.

I walk into the kitchen and hand a bill to Scott. He glances up at me, only for a second, before flipping a few burgers on the grill top.

“Cooks don’t take tips,” he says plainly.

“He wanted me to give it to you, specifically,” I rebuttal, almost muttering in annoyance. If Scott notices, he doesn’t show it. “‘‘My compliments to the chef,’ or whatever.”

“Cooks don’t take tips,” Scott repeats, and he stops what he’s doing before moving onto something else. “Ten bucks? How much did he give you?”

I grumble. “Five.”

“Five?” Scott asks, slightly miffed. “Well, you should definitely keep it then. Five bucks? That’s like, barely twenty percent, even if he only ordered a kid’s meal.”

“He had two kids' meals,” I say, this time definitely muttering. Scott raises an eyebrow, and I nod my head towards the dining room. “Table thirteen, party of four. Parents and their two kids. Will you just take the ten, Scott?”

“I’m not taking the ten, Y/N. He looks over my head, through the kitchen window towards Table 13. “And you should’ve told me before they left. I would’ve gotten you a tip.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” I say, a slight smile before pushing the money into his hands. “Take the money, Scott. I don’t want it.”

He pushes my hands back towards my torso. “I’m not taking it, Y/N. Especially after he stiffed you so much.”

“Fine,” I shrug indifferently. “I’m putting it in the register, then.”

He grabs my arm as I walk past him, both gentle and firm. His calloused hands are rough against my skin, and though he’s been by the grill all day he’s still cold enough for me to shiver. “Can’t do that. You’ll throw off the pull. Keep the money, Y/N. Seriously.”

I shake him off. “I don’t want it!” I almost shout, and a few of the servers walking past the two of us look over at me in surprise. Even Scott looks taken aback, showing more emotion than I’ve probably ever seen from him.

“What’s the deal?” He asks quietly. His tone is normal, neutral and calm as ever, but I can tell he’s worried, or at least curious.

I avoid his eyes. “Nothing.” I catch the attention of one of the other servers, Kara, as she walks into the kitchen.

“Hey, Kara,” I say, getting her attention. “I found a ten out in the parking lot. You want it? I know you’re saving up for school.”

Kara, though briefly confused, smiles as she takes the money from my hand. “Thanks, Y/N!”

“No problem,” I reply, satisfied. When she walks back out to the dining room I take off, refusing to look back at Scott. I hear him start to follow me, but one of the fryer timers goes off and he reluctantly turns his attention back to the kitchen.

I’m in the walk-in freezer for about three minutes before the door opens and Scott enters, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why are you hiding in the walk-in?” He asks.

“I’m not hiding” I reply, defiant. “I’m looking for something.”

“Which is?” When I don’t answer, he speaks again. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Scott.”

“Are you sure? Because you just turned down free money.”

“So did you.”

“Cooks don’t take tips.”

“It wasn’t my tip to take.”

“It wasn’t Kara’s, either.”

“It probably would’ve been, had she taken the table.”

“Didn’t you say he only gave you five dollars?” His eyebrows furrow again, confused. “Bad tippers are bad tippers, regardless of who's giving them the food. He would’ve found a problem with Kara's service too.”

“Doubt it,” I mumble.

“Doubt it? Why’s that?”

“Come on, Scott,” I scoff.

“‘Come on, Scott,’ what? What am I missing?”

“There wasn’t an issue with the service. There was an issue with me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jesus, Scott. Look at Kara, look at me, and tell me who you think is getting better tips.”

Realization flashes across his face, and his eyes narrow. “You’re talking about how you look.”

I roll my eyes in exasperation. “Yes, Scott, I am.”

“Well, don’t. It’s bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit. It’s documented, and it’s true. Pretty servers get better tips, even if the quality of service is the same. It’s just how it is.”

“And you’re saying you’re not one of the ‘pretty servers’?” He puts air quotes around the words. When I nod, he grunts. “Fuck off.”

“Did you just tell me to fuck off?” I ask in angry surprise.

“I did.”

His double-down shocks me even more, but even more than that I’m angry. Angry at Scott for not understanding where I’m coming from, and angry at the whole system for being unfair, and angry at that guy at Table 13 for making me feel this way.

“Whatever, Scott. You’re a guy, and you’re you, so you wouldn’t get it.

I try to push past him to leave the walk-in, but he stops me. All of a sudden, in one quick, fluid motion, he’s bent down so our faces are on the same level, and he kisses me. He holds my cheek in one hand, my upper arm in the other, pulling me closer to him as seconds go by. I can’t tell how long we’re actually kissing for, but after a second-long eternity he’s pulled away from me, leaving me confused and wanting more. I don’t remember placing my hand behind his neck, but it falls back to my side as he stands up slowly.

“Stop saying you’re not pretty,” he says, simply. His eyes are focused on mine, making sure I understand how serious he’s being.

Before I can reply, he turns around and walks out of the freezer.

[alpaca-clouds]

Let me talk Church and the Revolution

Okay, let me post this preemptively. Because I already know that soon enough those people looking for reasons to hate on Castlevania Nocturne because it is not like the games will also come to cry a river about "they depict the church as evil!!!!"

So, let me quickly talk about the role of the church in the French Revolution. Because there is something you gotta understand about the Church during the French revolution: That there was not THE Church.

Basically within the Catholic church in France there was a fracture over the entire revolution happening. A lot of the higher ranked clergy men stood on the side of the nobles and royals, while a lot of the lower ranked clergymen stood with the revolutionaries. The reason behind that mostly was money.

See, before the revolution the church was allowed to collect taxes themselves, while also being tax exempt. So they did not have to pay taxes on all the stuff they sold and made to the nobility. Which was why the bishops and general higher ups within the church could have the lavish lifestyle of nobility themselves, often of course ignoring their vows.

Meanwhile a lot of lower clergy (and especially certain groups of monks - especially the franciscans) were like: "We are all equal in the eyes of god. Rich folks do not get into heaven. Equality is what god wanted from us" and supported the revolution because of it.

But of course there was also the thing that the show mentioned: Given the show is set in summer it seems (probably just before the Reign of Terror) it would have been not even a year before that a lot of clergy got slaughtered. Why did they get slaughtered?

Well, short explanation: Royalists and also some of the bishops provoked the war with Prussia in an attempt to overthrow the revolutionary forces with the help of the Prussian military. This of course failed and the revolutionaries were out for blood. So nobles fled into the churches for sanctuary. And in retaliation a lot of clergy died for haboring the nobles in question.

And, yeah. There is of course the other aspect: The church at the time for a lot of historcal and religious reasons very much supported slavery. Meanwhile this is already a point where the revolution at large had decided that slavery should be done away with. And that leads to what we see in the show here: Clergy going on about the revolution being against "the natural order".

(Being frank: I LOVE that they brought this into the show. Which is almost like a whole other thing I could write about. The entire idea of the revolution and the "natural order" and how it is all linked to colonialism.)

Another interesting part here is the order the abbot and Mizrak are from. On the Castlevania discord server I already went into a whole thing trying to figure that out, but my last idea was right: They are from the Knights Hospitaller. The order of St. John.

This order arose during the crusades and as the name Knights Hospitaller suggests: Yeah, they mostly created hospitals (though historically those were not only to cure the sick, but also to be a home - "hospitality" - for those on the road). They were based in Jerusalem for a while, but ended up moving to Malta, which was of course for a long while ruled by France. They referenced here that the Abbot came to France from Malta, which is the reason.

But yeah, they actually were about helping people for the most part. But they also made money from it. And when the revolution came, they seized all the assets from the order, which made the order join into the ranks of clergy who stood against the revolution by 1792.

[vladdyissues]

Lately Ive seen some awful things about antis and haters making threats and getting artists banned from Tumblr and X. Im new to the Phandom and love pompep but Im scared i'll be targeted if I write and share pompep fics. How do you manage sharing your work so bravely?

Firstly, welcome to the Phandom—and especially Pompous Pep! I have a simple protocol for enjoying a drama-free Tumblr experience:

Preventative Action

1. Find your community. Follow other Pompep fans and supporters and reblog their things. Don't be afraid to leave nice tags; we love and welcome interactions :) You can also join the Pompep Discord server if you enjoy chatting (DM me for details).

2. Turn off anon asks. This will solve 99% of all potential problems, and you can turn it back on whenever you want. Antis are cowards who prefer to hide behind the mask of anonymity. They seldom have the courage to say something with their whole username.

3. Block the obvious haters. This is a big fandom, and at some point you're likely to come across people openly hating on pompep, either on their bio, pinned posts, or comments. Block them. For an added layer of protection, add their username to your Filtering Options.

4. Tag your work appropriately. When posting, make sure your work is tagged correctly (the #pompous pep tag is especially important) so people who like pompep can find it and those who want to avoid it can block the tag. Use Content Labels when applicable.

5. Try to avoid using the platonic tag (#badger cereal) and the romantic tag (#pompous pep) at the same time. Some fans are really touchy about this. I'm not, and I think there are legitimate cases where use of both is applicable, but if you want to minimize friction, just stick with one tag or the other.

If you're not sure which tag to use, ask yourself what your intentions are with your art or fic. Is the goal a romantic relationship? If so, use the pompep tag. If it's truly ambiguous and could be seen either way, use the platonic tag first. You can always add another tag like "okay to tag as pompep", just to let people know they can interpret it however they please.

Responsive Action

If the above guidelines aren't 100% effective, here's what you do:

1. Don't feed the trolls. If you receive any negative asks in your inbox, it's important to NOT engage with them. Delete them, ignore them, don't let them get to you. Antis thrive on attention, so let them starve. Eventually they'll move on when they realize they're not going to get a rise out of you.

The same goes for any negative comment left on your work. Just delete it, block the person who left it, and pretend it never happened.

These asks and comments may come in the form of questions. Example: "How can you ship Danny with Vlad? That's [insert gross accusation here]" Resist the urge to answer these questions. They are not made in good faith. This person just wants to start an argument.

2. Report any harassment. If by some chance you receive a seriously hateful ask, like threats of violence or abuse, take a screenshot for proof/safekeeping, then report the message and the user if they're not anonymous. If the ask is anonymous, use the meatball menu (•••) at the top right to report the message and block the anon.

Final Words

It takes time to develop a thick skin and Don't Give A Fuck attitude, but it can be done. You are a phan. You have every right to be here and enjoy this fandom in peace, just like everyone else. Anyone who believes in harassing others over silly things like which cartoon characters should be allowed to kiss clearly has nothing better to do with their life. The sooner you shut them out, the happier you'll be.

Regarding media: Artists attract a lot more negative attention than writers for reasons I won't get into right now, but if you're mainly a writer, you will enjoy a much quieter fandom experience. Wherever you post your stories—I recommend AO3; DM me if you need an invite—follow the same advice there as I've given here: make sure your work is tagged correctly; support your fellow Pompep fans by reading and commenting on their works, building that community; moderate comments if you're concerned about negativity; block and mute users if they give you any trouble, and you'll enjoy a much more positive fandom experience.

There is strength in community. When you start making new fandom friends, you'll feel a lot less lonely, and that will give you the confidence you need to really have a good time here.

Wishing you the best, anon!

[zeros-sys]

I'm being so serious when I say that it's okay to say doubles dni or be uncomfortable interacting with people with the same source as you

there's a lot of reasons people might feel this way from having delusions, extreme dissociation, having npd, being schizospec, etc.

it's fine to be critical of the word double or be personally uncomfortable with being seen as someone's double, but I feel like a lot of systems are demonising a boundary I've seen very often used by schizophrenic/delusional systems

not to mention that no one is really being hurt by being told to not interact to make another system comfortable. it's genuinely not worth triggering a fellow disabled system just because you don't like their boundary.

by saying that having this boundary is bad or that systems should just "get over it" is essentially telling introjects to source seperate which is both weird and not possible for some systems, especially when they're delusional*

just move on.

*I know people may consider it "anti recovery" as well but another system's recovery is honestly not your business to judge or dictate when it doesn't hurt anyone and you don't know how that system works

(also this whole post only applies to personal accounts. saying doubles dni in syscord servers/community spaces is not okay because you're excluding systems when you're supposed to include them)

I've seen many delusional, schizophrenic, and/or paranoid systems talk about this but no one really seems to listen to you guys

[honeytama]

ok i knowww i should be writing smth else or doing laundry or napping BUT mean! matt x fem!reader

smutty 18+ thoughts under the cut

cw: degradation

i’m thinking! your matt’s gf, have been for maybe X number of months, and things have been pretty vanilla so far,, which surprised you at first considering the number of times you confided in him in your kinks and fetishes,, different positions you liked,, toys you liked to use,, etc etc

but he just never would share anything about his sexual fantasies?

when you would tell him yours, he would say smth like “oh, that’s cool” or “oh i didn’t know you were into that” or “ok maybe we can try a little bit of that tonight” but not much else and then move on from the subject

sooooo one day, yall are out and about and ending the night with a nice dinner… and the older couple beside you is being complete assholes to their server?!

matt starts off with an eye roll

and then matt’s talking to you LOUDLY about how their being fucking annoying and should just finish their food and leave

and then starts to blatantly stare at them hoping they notice him and get embarrassed

and when they do finish their meal? the server returns to the table to ask if they meant to not leave a tip on their expensive ass bill…

matt’s up from his seat and fuming , nearly red in the face, and practically barking at the couple to tip the nice young lady or GTFO. they end up cowering with their tails between their legs and matt huffs.

he pulls out his wallet to hand their server a fifty before returning to his meal with you, “baby, sorry, they were pissing me off.”

he holds his hand in yours across the table, “i hope i didn’t embarrass you.”

you don’t even feel embarrassed. you’re proud. and frankly extremely horny.

knowing matt for some time, being friends before dating and such,,, you know he has a mean streak; he likes to fight, likes to be a dick. and mostly it’s in good fun, especially with you.

but since you’ve started being his girlfriend it went away ? he hates everyone BUT you. you’re his sweet little light.

sometimes you wish he would push you around and tease you and degrade you like he did when you were just friends…. so when you get home, you tell him that

“i didn’t know you thought that was … uh , hot and okay to do?” he stammers. “that’s what i fantasize about.”

“why haven’t you shared that?” you ask, whining.

“i was nervous i guess.. i didn’t want you to know what i really want to do to you,, with you … i just don’t want to hurt you,” he takes your face in his hands and looks directly into your eyes. “do you really want it?”

“please, matty baby…” you nod vigorously.

and with that, a switch flips

your back is pushed up against the wall of of his kitchen,, his lips instantly connecting to yours and then your neck and chest. his hands go up under the back of your dress and grip your ass cheeks hard, massaging them in his hands. he pulls away to give a hard smack to them with his palm,, you let out a needy cry :(

he laughs and holds your chin tight, “all those times you would tell me about how you wanted to be choked, to be tied up, for me spit in your mouth, for me to put it in your ass (the list goes on), i should’ve known you were a freak. i should’ve done this much sooner, knowing you liked me being mean so much.”

so you two spend that night and every other night of the week trying all the things he would hide from you in his head.

his hands around your throat

him spitting in your open mouth and onto your sopping cunt

wrapping his hands around your wrists to keep you from pushing him away as he overstimulates you into tears and shaking orgasms,, over and over again

abusing your clit with your magic wand as he pumps into you with that thick, 8incher he’s so cocky about

practicing playing with your tight little ass so that one day he can dp you himself ,,, his dick in your hole while his fingers are hooked into your pussy. or by using one of the dildos that you love so much :/

and just saying mean, mean things :( all the while you’re smiling giggling kicking your feet

“i’ll cum in your mouth, your whore cunt doesn’t deserve it” “unless you beg for it”

“such a freak, loving the feel of my hands around your pretty neck…”

“dumb slut”… “pretty little cockwhore”

in your relationship, that continues to be your dynamic. he hates everyone but you and you looooove it. matt is a sweetie to you in the streets, a meanie in the sheets lul

—

@exitwoundsx SIGH 😭😩

[autisticempathydaemon]

fuck I hate promoting myself but let’s do this

Why You Should Vote for Me as the #1 Christian Fan

One. I’ve been down bad for that Aussie dumbass since day one, since I got into this fandom two years ago. (I actually didn’t like Australian accents before him. Auth was a game changer, and now I’m a fan.)

Two. In those years, I’ve written more than 19k words about him and giving him a hot, bitchy girlfriend.

(Two point five. I made his girlfriend Alexis. I’m named Alexis. That’s love, baby.)

Three. I’ve spent my hard-earned and incredibly well-spent money bringing my blonde surfer boy Christian vision into a visual reality with much thanks to the gorgeous @spookybeandoodle (linked here) and @slozards (linked here).

Four. I’m your favorite content creator’s favorite Christian content creator okay /j I am in their ear I’m the devil on their shoulder shaking them and saying “hey what if the fandom’s most loathed vampire gave that werewolf a little kiss wouldn’t that be fuckin rad what if that dog were absolutely obsessed with her”

Exhibit A: @gingerbreadmonsters ‘s adorable fic Stupid Cupid. Yeah, it’s a Sam/Darlin fic but my favorite werewolf and vampire ship, my crackship, is in there like an adorable little Trojan horse virus hiding in its code I don’t know how code works

Exhibit B: @zozo-01 ‘s gorgeous Siren/Mermaid AU. Christian calls her “Venus” in this y’all that’s cute as fuck and I demand y’all witness it. Also she made him an actual surfer which is just -chef’s kiss- fun for the whole family

Exhibit C: @mr-laveau ‘s gift to the fandom in the form of a Christian HBW. In my heart, it was a Christmas gift for me and me alone; Veau knows I’m insane about eye contact and hair pulling, and they taunted me about this for WEEKS.

Exhibit D: @cascadiiing ‘s actual, server-ordained Christmas gift to me which MOVES. IT’S ANIMATED. My sweet blonde cranky motherfucker was brought to LIFE out of MY FIC.

Exhibit E: @cashandprizes ‘s literal birthday present for m- I’m sensing a trend in how people express their love, and it’s awesome. It’s especially awesome, because now all of you get to share in the wonderful treat of Christian and cunnilingus and mentions of knotting.

Five. I’ve been thisclose to spending more of my hard-earned money and commissioning Auth to read dialogue from my Alexis/Christian fics before I thought about it and realized he’d probably reject it. The temptation lingers still.

@plaqying

[watobu]

TW/CW: RELIGIOUS THEMES, DRUGGING, MATURE THEMES IN GENERAL!

Woah my AU I love so much and treat like a baby! ( It's full of death and suffering! )

This took forever to write pleaaaase have a looksy!!

ESSEMP.

A WANDERING NIGHTMARE.

"The worst verse to find."

Somehow it's deemed one of the worst places to be out of the multiverse, according to the Rovers.

What are the Rovers? In short, multiverse travelers. In long, that's for another post.

What is Wandering? Why a Wandering nightmare? That's also for another post!

It started off a normal smp, it was normal for years. People lived their lives, growing up, getting out of their houses, finding people to live with. We mostly see the world from Wemmbu's perspective.

Wemmbu meets someone named PrinceZam, the two team up! They end up teamed for a few years, going through their teen years together into adulthood. By ages 19 and 20, they seem stable enough. At least in Wemmbu's eyes.

The two seemed okay, Wemmbu was pleased with the life he was living. The two were left alone enough to live, but not enough to avoid the occasional fight with another group, which wasn't horrid. Nobody at their level wanted to fight to the death. It was all fun and games! Like how all worlds should be.

Wemmbu begins to develop some form of crush on Zam! ( Zammbu crumbs anyone? ) Zam doesn't reciprocate, not yet, seemingly. Despite this, the two remained teamed! They're so close nobody could break their bond. Totally.

Not to Zam, he isn't as pleased as Wemmbu seems. Infact, he complains to Wemmbu about power, about how drained of it he feels. Others like ClownPierce are at the top, why aren't he and Wemmbu at the top? The two don't have the greatest fighting skills, unlike those "at the top" to be fair. Wemmbu didn't see issue with it. Then again, his urge to "become the strongest" was short-lived when he realized how high he had to climb and the lengths it took. It'd be fun to try one day, but for now? Nah.

Zam eventually and abruptly stops complaining. He begins to go missing for days at a time, even. It concerns Wemmbu, why is he disappearing?

Come to find out, Zam has been meeting someone. Someone feeding him ideas, ideas that Zam took into account. How did Wemmbu find this out? Following Zam using an invisibility potion.

Zam fully disappears one day, abandoning Wemmbu. Of course he didn't stay, why would he stay? Zam wants power, power that Wemmbu doesn't want yet. Soon, that yet will turn into never.

He finds someone named Eggchan, someone Wemmbu once knew as a "childhood friend." He doesn't remember much of it, but Egg does. The two team up, ending up closer than Wemmbu feels he was to Zam.

Fastfowards months later, and a church is built at spawn, a sign at the entrance saying "THE ECLIPSE."

The motherfucker had moved onto other people, primarily people known as ItzSubz and Vitalasy. Others involved, of course. Power in numbers or something. Those involved would be named Mapicc, Roshambo, Jepexx, ChiefXD, Reddoons, and HannahxxRose. Associates would soon be named ClownPierce, BranzyCraft, Kaboodle, Squiddo, IvoryCello, and -A.

PrinceZam is renamed PriestZam, and Wemmbu quickly realizes what's happening.

There were two people that Wemmbu saw everywhere. Two people named Spokeishere and Ashswag. They joked about being gods together, very obviously joking. Wemmbu always caught their odd laughter near spawn or in caves nearby whilst the guy was doing whatever.

Seems like someone took the bit too far. The two went missing one day. People wondered where the two had gone, especially someone known as MinuteTech. Someone deemed Spoke's brother.

First sermon, a message is sent in chat inviting everyone in the server.

Curious, quite a few people show up! Including Wemmbu — and there he sees Spoke and Ash both hung up on display, unable to get out of their restraints or move. The two looked dazed, as if they both weren't all the way there. Not a pleasant sight, to be quite honest.

Spoke's rainbow accessories were now replaced with one solid color: Gold. Wemmbu fully realizes what his former teammate is doing, and turns to leave the sermon before it can even begin.

Days later, he's about a good million blocks out, having built an orbital strike cannon from complete scratch. Juuuust as he was loading it, getting it ready, purely to fire at Zam's church, Subz finds him.

He's caught right there, right before he can do anything, while his PvP kit is in a shulker in his e-chest. This doesn't end well for Wemmbu! He's taken by Subz into the church, claiming divine intervention had just saved the church from a sinner trying to kill the only holy thing on the server.

Wemmbu ends up imprisoned, tortured, and trapped unable to leave with zero items but gold accessories he is unable to take off and a bowl of rabbit stew that tastes all too strange.

It's that church that Wemmbu will rot in for the rest of the server's existence. He has no way to escape! Why? Because this place is rigged, the villains always win. Every last escape attempt is met with failure.

In order to avoid further escape attempts, Wemmbu is routinely drugged, just like Ash and Spoke. They can't refuse food, they'll die, and come to find out — they respawn. There is zero point to refuse.

Wemmbu ends up sharing a cell with Ash and Spoke eventually, due to overcrowding, as others are caught and used as hostages.

Wemmbu and Ash kick it off! Traumabonded romantic relationship, they're both highly delusional and definitely healthy. They don't fight over Ash's delusional trips about being a genuine avatar of a god. Definitely. Wemmbu doesn't spiral into a psychotic break about not being human over the treatment recieved from this and Zam. Not at all. They're healthy and happy with their situation.

They are happy being used as sacrifices in this church. They do not want to leave. This is entirely true and not a lie!

While Ash and Spoke are given questionably decent treatment, Wemmbu is given absolutely nothing. He isn't valuable enough, he's a sinner, sinners deserve punishment do they not?

PLEASE NOTE.

Pretty much this AU is death and suffering. Villains win. There is fluff, it's just rare.

This AU has a lot of ships built into it. ( Eggbu, Kenifies, Wemmswag / Ashbu, Parfies ( /toxic, Wifies is a rebound. ), spokepicc ( /toxic, devious is DEAD. ) and more

Yes, characters in this au are older, this takes place multiple years into the future. No, none of the characters are minors they are all physically incapable of being minors as this is like 6 years into the future. Wemmbu & Zam are both about 26 - 27 going forwards off of the church stuff.

MY INBOX IS OPEN!

Q&A about this AU is open in my inbox

There's a lot of smaller points missing in here that I forget.

Please ask me about this AU and offer ideas for it. I'm happy to talk about anything about this AU. It's my baby. :3

Questions are entirely free reign, ask whatever you want. Bring up possible ships and characters you ponder abt existing in this au!! I'll happily talk abt them :3 even if pre-existing ships exist. I love making shit up

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for essentially making my friends be people's therapists?

(TW for discussion of suicide and self harm, nothing explicit)

This happened many years ago, when my friends and I were 13/14 and this went on for about a year. I had started a public discord server and, seeing how other public discord servers were functioning at the time, I added a vent channel. In retrospect, I have absolutely no idea why these exist in public servers, it's so clearly a recipe for disaster, but I digress. I only added it because I saw so many other public discords have a vent channel and I assumed it would be an outlet for people to vent out their simple frustrations of the day, nothing more than that.

Anyways, it was fine for a while but as our server grew in numbers, we started getting some members who would frequent the vent channel with very serious things. There are two who stand out to me in particular because of the amount of, well, emotional labor we had to do for them. My friends were moderators of the server (I had asked them when it started if they would like to be mods and they had agreed to this, and they were always free to step down, which some did) and so we liked to make sure our members were happy and okay so a lot of us tried to respond and help people in the vent channel, especially if it was something serious. Here's where the problem comes in.

There were many, many times we had to essentially try to talk down different members from suicide and self harm. We always had online resources for suicide/self harm help pinned in the channel, and we always urged people to seek them out but some people refused to use them or just ignored them. They would vent in the channel and say something drastic and we would rush to try and talk to them, to make sure they didn't do anything irreversible. It got to the point where we considered calling the police for one of them, but the person eventually said they were okay and we dropped it. We often stayed up late (I remember one night staying up until 1 am trying to help people with 3 of my friends) and sometimes we had to drop everything we were doing to try and help.

I understand now that that wasn't really our responsibility to help these people and we were absolutely not qualified, but in the moment we were just scared teens trying to do our best. The part where I'm worried I'm TA is that I'm definitely the one who created this situation by making the server's vent channel in the first place, and not taking it down at any point during all of that (it has since been deleted but the server is effectively shut down) even though I could clearly see the toll it was taking on my friends and I (I didn't keep it up for malicious intent I just didn't want to take that potential outlet away from people). Also, I worry we hurt these people more than helped them since we were just random middle schoolers trying to give mental health counseling to Internet strangers.

I've talked to my friends about it since then and we've all just agreed that it's something that happened we can't change now, and we should just move on, but I'm still unsure about the situation since my perspective is too entrenched in bias on whether or not this is all my fault.

So, AITA for creating the situation in the first place and letting it continue?

What are these acronyms?

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Session 5 Trivia "Winner" & Related Stats

Keep reading for the scoring explanation!

Okay so it took me a week because I got sick literally the day Episode 5 dropped and I've been fighting for my life (metaphorically) for the past week but I finally got the Trivia Week stats added to the Wild Life Spreadsheet! (It's also been updated weekly since my last post about it after episode 3, there's just been nothing super interesting since then) Obligatory, I think I got everything right but if I've missed anything or made any mistakes just let me know!

So basically what I did was tally up everyone's scores and then I weighted each correct answer based on the assigned difficulty. So a correct easy question would be worth 1 point, a medium is 2, and a hard is 3. That resulted in the following Top 5 ranking (full ranking visible in the spreadsheet):

BUT some players received more questions or more difficult questions than others, so I also put together a "normalized" ranking system that gives each player a score out of 100 based on the number of questions they received (this should also help a bit if I missed anything during my data collection but please do let me know if I missed a question, specifically for Jimmy, Lizzie, or Tango). Basically how this worked is that I calculated the maximum points each player could get from the questions they were given and used that to create a "difficulty rating" out of 100. I then took the actual amount of points they received and scaled it based on their difficulty rating. I don't know if y'all can see the formulas I used in the Google Sheet but lmk if anyone wants a deep dive into this method! I've only had like a semester and a half of statistics so this may not be a super mathematically sound method but it's the most fair one I could come up with.

Anyways: this normalized scoring system resulted in the graph you saw at the top of the post and a Top 5 ranking of:

Note: Impulse and Tango are tied at EXACTLY 55.555... points each and I don't know how they managed that, but Joel is about 0.136 points higher than Pearl

So not wildly different but It did shake things up a bit, especially in the rest of the rankings, and it gives you a better idea of the overall scale! For reference here's the graph again:

Some fun facts about the stats that I found:

Etho and Gem are the only players who answered every single question correctly (Etho received 4 hard questions while Gem only received 1, so he scored much higher than her in my scoring system. If you're counting purely the percentage of correct questions, Etho and Gem are tied for first and then there's a five-way tie for second)

Etho, Gem, Lizzie, and Skizz are the only players who never answered a question incorrectly, but Lizzie and Skizz were both victims of bot interference, and thus their timers ran out.

Overall, the server answered 75% of the questions correctly and had a normalized score of 36.

The distribution of question difficulties is incredibly close to evenly distributed (see spreadsheet for exact numbers)

Grian had the lowest difficulty rating, followed by Ren, Jimmy, and then Gem (He really doesn't know his own series, huh?)

Etho had the highest difficulty rating, followed by a three-way tie between Impulse, Scar, and Tango

There was a slightly noticeable correlation between the difficulty of the question failed and the resulting punishment, but the sample size is so small it's hard to say whether there was actually a reason behind this. (See spreadsheet for data and chart, it's mildly interesting)

The most drastic shift in placement due to the normalization is a tie between Tango, who moved up seven places (diff rating= 83), and Ren, who moved down seven places (diff rating = 56).

Unrelated but the snails still have the highest kill count on the server, even if you combine every single player kill.

This was a lot of fun and I can't wait to find more useless things to analyze that no one asked for!

[irbcallmefynn]

Okay this is a very hard post for me to make but i feel like i have to make it. I can't be quiet about this any more. I can't keep saying it where nobody will see it because i need people to see it. If the friends of anyone mentioned in this post want to send it their way, feel free. This is not a call-out post. This is an apology, and an ask for explanation.

I want to preface what I'm about to say with: I'm not mad at anyone mentioned in this post. I don't think anybody in The Creachures is. We all miss you and wish things could've worked out. I'm sorry if what I say comes off as hostile or aggressive, I'm not great at wording this sort of thing, and it's coming from a place of much emotion.

@hexedbug @juneibyou @xxthunderthedragon @bobisnotaperson @razzytism

You five have caused me a lot of stress and anxiety in not telling me what i did to hurt you. You haven't given me the opportunity to improve upon myself or correct these transgressions, or even apologize to you. I'm sure you're all at least somewhat aware of how I handle feelings like this, and I understand you not wanting to pander to me or hurt yourself by putting up with me and my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. But you all let me down very harshly, and I've been unable to move past what happened because of it. You've made being on Tumblr miserable, to the point you're making me consider quitting Tumblr, because being on here and seeing you constantly and feeling that sense of hatred hurts, especially when you're being closer to my friends than they are with me. I've been told you don't hate me, but it's hard to believe and accept that when, in my head, you've all decided to block me for unknown reasons, and denied me the ability to apologize.

Hexed. I understand you find what I post about weird. And I understand I was interacting with people who "dragged the server down". You're the one I understand the reasoning of the most. Not following me back because you don't like my posts is fine, though you could've just blocked tags/post content about that stuff. If I was tagging things improperly you should've told me so I could correct it, instead of letting it sit inside you until you couldn't handle it. I get I was encouraging people to vent in Tau Heximus 2, something you didn't want. But again, you should have said something, or done something. I contributed to making your server a place you didn't enjoy. I feel like you wanted both a strictly positive place, and a place where people can be honest and close, two things that don't mesh. I chose the one that I enjoyed more, a close, honest community. I'm sorry I went against your wishes.

June. When you left the server, you said that "Bug Squad" were real ones, and that you still liked us. You then went on to call us and our friends Delusional for starting a new server after the old server's death. That hurt immensely. I understand you were in an emotional place, but using a word like that is not acceptable. You also went to my girlfriend's private vent blog to target it directly. You're the only one I ever blocked, because you were being actively hateful, and betrayed my trust directly. I have since unblocked you, though, because I'm not mad at you, not anymore. You were trying to cope with what happened, and I get it. I just wish you handled things more gracefully and politely. I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you, besides joining a new server. Just, please, work on your emotional control some, so outbursts like this don't happen again.

Thunder. You're the one I miss the most. I felt so close to you. You almost felt like a brother to me. But the way you've been avoiding bringing up what I did to hurt you makes me feel like you either don't want me to know what i did, or don't know what I did yourself. I just wish you'd be more open to talking, so we can work things out. I'm so sorry for hurting you.

Bobbu. I thought we were still friends when you invited me to join Art and Slimes. I turned it down because I don't think I could handle a server of that size, and had already joined the new server. While we maybe weren't as close as some of the others, I still considered you a friend. I'm sorry for whatever I did.

Raz. I am so, so sorry for everything that happened. TH2 was the only place that you had found comfort and support in to such a degree, and I've been worried about how you've been without that support. I feel like you used to trust me a lot, enough to confide in me about some of your issues. I wish I knew what I did to betray that trust.

There's three others I wish to bring up that haven't hurt me as bad, but I still wish to say something to.

Mars, I'm glad we're still friends. But it feels like you're less a part of Bug Squad than you are Hexed and June's friend group. I'm always worried about the state of our friendship, since you interact with them so much more than Me, Rico, and Tetra. I just feel excluded and neglected, is all. I'm sorry.

Yaza, I don't know how to feel about you. You're clearly more of June and Hexed's friend than mine. Clearly you don't like the new server because we kept bringing this stuff up in the early days, and I'm so sorry for that. I just wish we could still be friends. Because right now it doesn't feel like you want to be my friend.

Eblu. I don't know what to think of you. You're a good guy, really. But when you say you're my friend and then turn around a few days later and say "if you're friends with [close friend of mine] don't interact with me" I have issues with that. Deciding that everyone who's friends with someone is now bad because they made a mistake is not okay. Yes, it was bad that it happened. Yes, that friend should've been more careful. You are valid for being upset by what you saw. But you don't have to declare everyone who likes that person undesirable. You took it too far.

There are two things I did that I feel I need to apologize for that I actually know of.

When Tau Heximus 2 was dying, I had said that killing the server would kill me. That was disgusting of me. I should not have said that. It was emotionally manipulative of me. I was scared, and confused, I had never experienced something like that before, the loss of somewhere that felt like home, it really felt like I was going to die, and I spoke with my heart instead of my head. If this is what I did to hurt you, I am deeply sorry for saying something so uncomfortable. I'm doing my best to keep my emotional responses under control. And I hope that should anything like that happen again, I won't have such a dramatic response.

I would also like to apologize for being so difficult to help. Whenever I'm offered advice on how to improve or fix something, I have a habit of coming up with excuses, or just flat out rejecting it. I don't mean to come off as ungrateful or opposed to your help. Stressful situations cause me to mentally shut down in a way where anything to help that takes even a slight amount of effort becomes an insurmountable task. I'm trying my best to be more receptive of help, even if it's just agreeing that it would help. I just wish I had the means and energy to actually act on the advice. I am so sorry for anyone who I've hurt by denying your help. Offering me advice does help me mentally, because it lets me know people care, but I feel terrible that I hurt people by not being able to accept and act on the help.

This isn't a call-out post. This is me asking for clarification on what I did wrong, apologizing for what I know I did, and wishing to clear things up.

Thank you for reading.

[hmshermitcraft]

Jealous xisuma and polyhermits

It was stupid and childish. Xisuma was well aware of this, and yet his stomach churned and heart ached whenever he had to spend time with fWhip or Pixl. Especially when other hermits were around.

It was always wow it's incredible you managed to make custom tools easily recoverable, or you got that server data so quickly! Xisuma was glad the Empires server was in such capable hands, and realistically he knew having two admins was easier than one. Not to mention Empires was a fraction of the size of Hermitcraft.

Still Xisuma tried to excused him from any conversations that involved admin work while he was on the Empires server. This was supposed to be a vacation of sorts. He was supposed to be having fun running around as a pirate, not having his blood boil when Tango ran his mouth off with fWhip about chunk loading and entity cramming.

He huffed, climbing into one of the many levels of Hermitopia and settled down in a lounge. He took off his helmet and ran a hand through his hair, trying to banish any of those annoying, useless thoughts. Maybe he should try listening to what fWhip or Pixl talked about one of these days. Maybe he could learn something that could make Hermitcraft run better. Void knows it's needed with people like Doc around.

"Shishwammy!" Keralis' voice startled him out of his brooding, and some of his underlying anger melted away immediately. "Oh look at that pretty face."

Keralis cupped Xisuma's face, pressing his cheeks until he made a pucker face. X simply laughed and gently pulled away from his fellow hermit, picking up his helmet so Keralis could sit next to him. "Hi, K. What are you doing here? Other than to tease me."

Keralis sat down with a bounce, sidling up close to X's side. Their legs touched and X appreciated the normalcy of it. Keralis was easy to start talking, and the admin was always happy to listen and lose himself in the noise.

"-Oh and fWhip-" Xisuma tensed at the mention of the goblin, shoulders rising to his ears. He barely even noticed his own reaction until Keralis pointed it out. "Shishwammy? Everything okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's fine Keralis, don't worry."

Keralis was giving him that look, the look that meant he clearly didn't believe Xisuma. It was usually reserved for nights when X was claiming to have slept while five phantoms circled outside his base. He had half a mind to shove his helmet back on, but knew that was only going to prove Keralis' suspicions.

A very accusatory finger poked his chestplate. "Shishwammy, what did we say about burying emotions?"

"I'm not burying anything, K, honest." He stood up from the couch, giving in to his anxiety and pulling his helmet back over his head. "If anything I'm extra relaxed and unbothered. I don't have to worry about a server breaking down on me, or giant death machines powered by enough redstone to blow up the sun. Really, it's great that fWhip and Pixlriffs are able to handle the influx of people so easily."

There was a pause, the air between them tense. Then Keralis gasps, jumping up from the couch and leaning in close to Xisuma’s helmet. “Is our Shishwammy jealous?”

X splutters, flailing his hands in an attempt to push Keralis away from him. “Jealous? Why would I be jealous?”

“Shishwammy, Shishwammy, Shishwammy,” Keralis sighed, shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips. “Just because sweet fWhip and Pixlriffs are exceptional admins, doesn’t mean we think you’re any less exceptional.”

“Keralis, I'm not jealous.” X began to walk away, and was surprised when his boyfriend made no move to follow. He had a bad feeling about this…

---

Xisuma was hauling a shulker box out of a boat, tossing it onto a dock of Eversea. He lifted up his pirate hat, wiping the sweat off his face and pushing aside some of his hair. It was growing out and becoming a slight nuisance. He would need to get it cut before it started getting caught in his helmet seals. That was never a fun thing to deal with.

He was in the process of hopping out of his boat when rockets sounded above him, and he looked up to see Cleo landing just a few blocks away. “Ahoy!” He called in greeting.

Cleo had asked X to meet them on the outskirts of Eversea, and X had assumed it was to work on their little pirate ship. He had brought some materials and decided to take the water route to get him into the right headspace.

“X, right on time.” Cleo gripped his forearm, hauling him the rest of the way out of the boat. “Any specific reason you took a boat instead of flying?”

“Well you said you wanted to do something and since we were meeting in Eversea I figured it was pirate-y.” He gestures to his hat with a twirl of his hands.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I didn’t have anything like that in mind.” They nodded for him to follow, so he left his shulker box for now. It would be fine on the dock, he was sure. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Anxiety spiked in his stomach, and he immediately wished he had his helmet to hide behind. He settled to wringing his wrists in a way he hoped wasn’t too obvious. “Oh, okay. Uh, what did you want to talk about?”

“Well,” they dragged the word out, leading them further into the dense jungle. “A certain big eyed fellow told me you were feeling a bit jealous, and I knew I couldn’t let that stand.”

“Keralis…” Xisuma growled, shaking his head and taking a few larger steps to walk beside Cleo. “Listen, Cleo, Keralis thinks something is wrong when really there isn’t anything wrong. I’m not jealous of fWhip or Pix, honestly.”

Cleo gave him a far too dangerous smile, “That’s funny, because he didn’t mention who you were jealous of.”

X froze, internally cursing himself. He opened his mouth to try and defend himself or backtrack in some way, when his wrists were grabbed and he was pressed against a nearby tree. His arms were pinned to the sides, Cleo looming over him with a smile that made him feel hunted.

The predatorial look was gone a moment later, though, a much gentler one taking over Cleo’s face. One of their cold hands let go of one of his wrists to cup his burning cheek, and he couldn’t help but lean into it. “Xisuma, you know we appreciate everything you do, right? That we all think you’re the greatest admin to have ever lived?”

X let out a startled laugh, “That’s a bit much.”

“But it’s true. For us, anyway.” They leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to his nose that made his eyes cross. “We aren’t going to run and replace you at the first admins we see.”

“I know that…” X felt breathless with Cleo this close, and he knew that was no doubt part of their plan. 

“Then why are you jealous of them, hm?”

“I’m not-” A hand gripped his jaw, tilting his head back against the tree. It pushed his hat off, it falling into the grass with a soft sound. 

“Don’t try and lie to me, X. Tell me what’s going through that head of yours.”

It took more effort than X would like to admit to swallow down the excuses he had ready. It was pointless trying to hide from Cleo, he knew this well by now. He hesitated, trying to squirm out of Cleo’s grasp only for their grip to tighten. He settled on looking off to the side, mouth moving as he tried to figure out how to articulate his thoughts.

“I just- They-” The hand on his jaw relaxed slightly so he could speak easier. “They do so much more than I do. The hermits appearing out of nowhere didn’t even seem to phase them. If even half of the Empires members had appeared out of nowhere on Hermitcraft I would have been panicking, but they handled it so easily.”

Cleo’s hand moved back to his cheek, and he kept his gaze averted, shame burning inside him. He should be above things like this. “And how do you know they weren’t overwhelmed, hm?”

“Well, they-”

“Not to mention, there’s two of them. There’s only one of you, X.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing.” Cleo’s hand slides up into his hair, his body naturally relaxing at the touch. He meets their eyes again, seeing nothing but sincerity in them. “Comparing yourself to others doesn’t do you any good, ‘Suma. We love you just the way you are, for all that you do and put up with us.”

They press a gentle kiss to his lips, and he melts into it, eyes sliding shut. Their murmured praises settle into a mush of background noise, shadowed by their gentle touches that convey the meaning just as well.

---

Xisuma landed with a squelch under his feet, the skulk that had overtaken the grass sinking under his weight.

“Ah, Xisuma! What a pleasant surprise. Come to join in on the fun?”

Cub looked… Well, if it was anyone other than Cub, X would say that he looked concerning. However, the admin was more than used to Cub’s shenanigans, and how deep he embraced a role. He had heard about how jarring it was for the emperors, though, which seemed ironic considering the environment of the emperors themselves.

“Not join in, just to see what you’re doing.”

Cub didn’t need to be asked twice to delve into the story he’s created, explaining the point in spreading the skulk over the server. He was clearly enjoying himself, and nothing made Xisuma happier than seeing his hermits smiling.

“I’m glad we came to Empires, even if it was to just do something like this.” Cub finished, sitting down on the bit of remaining grass X had settled on to.

“To do something like this? You wouldn’t do it on Hermitcraft?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to bother you with that.” Confusion bubbled up in Xisuma’s chest, surrounded by a thin layer of fondness. He tilted his head at Cub, asking him to elaborate. “I know this is gonna be a pain to clean up, and I of course would do it if anyone asked me to. But, skulk is a bit unpredictable and it spreads to places I sometimes don’t even know. Pix told me about a trick he has to locate specific blocks within a certain area. It’ll make clean up easier for them.”

Any fondness X had still been feeling was replaced quickly with a lingering bitterness that he had been trying to get rid of. “Ah, I see.”

Cub could see through his helmet, though, and shoved X’s shoulder lightly. “That’s not me dissing your admin abilities, ‘Suma. I just don’t want you to try and come up with a solution to a problem I created, especially if this place already has said solution. You have your own stuff you’re working on and you barely rest as is. You do enough for us as an admin as is, I don’t want to add any more to your plate.”

Xisuma took a deep breath, and tried to let the rest of the bitterness fade away. Cub was looking out for him. Just like the rest of his hermits. At this point they’ve nearly all come to him individually and reassured him that he is their favorite admin, and as X thought about it, a settlement of acceptance washed over him. 

Maybe he isn’t as technical of an admin as fWhip or Pix, but he is enough. His hermits don’t need anything else from him.

[anonymous-eggy]

Quest with an Mc who has recurring nightmares

i apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes. i mostly wrote this to comfort myself after yet another nightmare

• He finds out after you log on particularly early one day because of a real nasty nightmare. he had taken a morning shift so he was also on earlier than usual

• from his usual readings of conversations he misses while logged off, its particularly unusual for you to be on so early. especially since you talk about sleeping in

• you were joking around and chatting with Xyx, who happened to be on at the time, which should have made him feel at ease, but he's a worrywart at heart so he sends you a message through the mods only channel.

• he's the server dad so of course he's checking on his partner.

• when you tell him its only because of a nightmare and that it happens all the time, he immediately understands

• i feel like he gets nightmares due to having ptsd from his past.

• so he sort of understands the whole thing of wanting to do something to get your mind off the nightmare.

• he of course asks if you want to talk about it or call after you finish chatting with Xyx.

• and so you do after warning him that you probably look like a tired mess. and he tells you that he doesn't mind and that you're always beautiful. cheesy ass mf

• he means it though

• after the two of you finally move in together, the first few nights of sleeping in the same bed are met with a pleasant string of either no dream or good dreams.

• and then it wears off

• if its one that makes you twitch awake, he's already awake ready to comfort you.

• i imagine he's a light sleeper for obvious reasons and just that he's always been a naturally light sleeper in general.

• he always first gives a gentle sleepy "hey, you okay?" before opening his arms to engulf you in a cuddle and ask you if you wanna talk about it.

• it's worth noting he lets you initiate the cuddle. he never touches you more than he already was until you give verbal or nonverbal permission after you have a nightmare.

• if you dont wanna talk about it, then thats alright. you can just lay there in his arms and rest your head on his chest. listen to his heartbeat and trace his chest tattoo until you're lulled back to a hopefully dreamless sleep.

• if you do want to talk about it, he always listens intently while rubbing your back in calming circles or running his fingers through your hair

• if the nightmare has left you paranoid about the door being locked or the curtains on a particular window being closed, he has no issues with getting up to check for you or with you.

• he may not be a jealous or possessive lover, but he sure as hell is a protective one.

• so he'll do almost anything to help you feel safe.

• which includes holding your hand while the two of you go check the object of your paranoia.

• he knows the door is locked and the curtains are always drawn over the windows because he checks every night before going to bed out of habit, but he doesnt mind.

• all he ever wants is for you to feel safe. its no chore or bother to him

• COMPLETELY off topic, but if he were a dog, he'd absolutely be a livestock guardian dog breed. he just gives those vibes.

• if you feel insecure or embarrassed about it, he's ready to comfort you and let you know it really isnt silly or dumb

• he truly understands. the entire first two years he lived alone in his apartment after getting out of prison he regularly woke up from nightmares of his old gang finding him and would anxiously peak around corners to check the door and any windows thoroughly. several times.

• sometimes he still does get those nightmares.

• comfort cuddle party for when you both have a nightmare? absolutely.

• 4 am and you both cant sleep because of a bad dream? i guess its time for an early cozy breakfast.

• he'll have you sit on the counter while he cooks for you both.

• maybe it turns into you guys making out. i mean. nightmare or not, seeing that man cook in sweatpants with no shirt would have me on my knees.

• and in the comfort of your own shared home? a bit of intimacy after a rough night sure helps lift the mood

• he somehow doesn't burn the food. usually.

• if he does its only because you kept it going and distracted him far too much ;)

• and if you do have a nightmare and wake up without him waking up, its okay to cuddle closer to him.

• if he's facing away from you, he'll roll over, throw an arm around you, and softly kiss your head, whether or not he fully wakes up

• if it was a bad nightmare and you need more comfort than that, its okay to wake him up.

• he probably even told you to wake him up early on into living with him. he never wants you to have to deal with those feelings alone.

• this is also why if you guys have a dog, they'll have to be trained to sleep in their own dog bed in the room.

• anyone who owns a dog knows that they'll wake you up too many times at night if you're a light sleeper and sleep in your bed

• and with you and Quest waking up because of nightmares, yall need all the rest you can get.

• despite all this, you guys do rest well normally.

• most nights when you have minor nightmares you're mostly desensitized to, you just kinda roll over and scoot closer to Quest before falling back asleep.

• and he'll pull you closer and also quickly fall back asleep.

hope you other bitches on here with chronic nightmares enjoy hell yeah 😎 fuck it we ball

[autistichalsin]

A fic writer's guide to leaving comments

I'm sure you've seen posts from fic writers expressing dismay at the death of feedback culture, and especially lamenting the phenomenon of people making private Discord servers to share fic recs, so that instead of having a chance to stumble on nice comments in the wild on Tumblr, Twitter, etc, fic writers are increasingly less likely to see good comments left about their work.

I also see the comments on those same posts flooded with people with concerns about commenting, so I am writing this as a guide for those new or unsure.

Firstly: some of you are probably asking, "why do fanfic writers need feedback at all? Shouldn't they be writing just for themselves?"

Well... No. Not really. People can and should create things for themself, yes, but that doesn't mean "continue to post content when no one seems to be engaging." Imagine cooking for someone who eats in utter silence and never says a single word about the meal. Imagine putting on a concert and receiving not a single applause, a cheer, nothing at all. It sounds utterly horrifying, doesn't it? Maybe even humiliating?

Writing for oneself means that positive reviews shouldn't be the sole factor in deciding whether to write/post/continue a story, not that a writer should feel obligated to write thousands of words for a story no one really reacts to in any way, especially when the writer sees creators of similar content (edits, fanarts, fanvids, fansongs, etc) get praised effusively for their work without this expectation being placed on them. It is very rare that artists are told they should draw for themselves the way fic writers are.

Further, and this may be a hot take, but I actually don't think it's inherently wrong to make positive reviews the main or even sole reason for writing or making art to begin with. People like being praised for things they do well. It's one of the most basic parts of human psychology. Human beings want to be praised, encouraged, validated, and celebrated sometimes; why do you think we celebrate birthdays? It's not egotistical. It might, perhaps, be setting oneself up for disappointment, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it, anyway.

Basically, all that to say: it's nice to tip your Uber drivers and baristas. It's nice to thank/compliment your spouse when they make you dinner. And it's nice to thank fan artists and fanfic writers when they make arts/fics that you enjoy.

Moving on: I also know some of you have some specific things you worry or are confused about, and those things might be stopping you from leaving feedback. So here is an FAQ of sorts:

Q: What if the story has a lot of chapters/the author has written many stories? Won't it be weird to go and leave so many comments on them?

A: You definitely can review only the latest chapter/fic and future installments if you so choose, but for the record, fanfics aren't like Instagram/Facebook; mass-commenting and kudosing old stories and chapters isn't seen as stalkerish. It's seen as a sign you're enjoying the content we made. Think of it this way: if a new Star Wars came out, and you were new to Star Wars, it would only make sense for you to go and watch (and post about) the previous movies, right?

Q: What if I don't know what to say?

A: That's perfectly okay! I have a guide at the bottom of this post if you need some ideas. But honestly, writers would rather a single ♥️ than nothing at all, so if you really can't think of anything, that's a good last resort.

Q: I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting the writer.

A: There is almost no chance that you will say the wrong thing, unless you are giving unasked-for criticism (see below).

Q: What if I don't like the fic? Should I still comment?

A: No, it's definitely better to silently move on when you didn't enjoy it at all.

Note that while in the past, giving criticism was common practice, this has generally become less of something authors enjoy over time (perhaps tied in with the general lack of feedback; getting fewer comments in general can make it far more frustrating to get critical ones). If you are close to the writer, or if the criticism is just a SPAG issue, you can try asking the writer if they'd like to hear it, but otherwise, leave it be unless the author has indicated somewhere they're open to it. But please be nice. Anything you wouldn't say to an artist, don't do to a writer, please.

Q: In the past, I commented and the writer got mad at me.

A: If you weren't leaving unasked-for criticism, then likely the problem was that particular author. Don't let it deter you from commenting on others. Every group of people has assholes, including writers.

Q: I saw an author who requested no comments on their fic/turned off comments on their fic.

A: Not every writer ultimately DOES want comments, though the majority do. Likely that person was having anxiety, or had recently been harassed/received rude comments and didn't want to bother with it.

Q: An author limited comments to registered users only.

A: See above; likely they did this either as a harassment mitigation member or to prevent minors from reading their fics, especially if it was an NSFW work.

Q: I saw a note that a writer had "enabled comment moderation" on their story. Does that mean they don't want me to comment?

A: Not at all! It means they likely have been harassed/received rude comments, or have reason to fear they will (I.E. have recently posted a story dealing controversial themes, or have received such comments on other sites), and are activating a setting where you can comment, but they need to manually approve the comment before it shows up, which will prevent nasty comments from being read. In these cases, a nice comment might actually mean even more to them, because it shows they have support- so by all means, show them some extra love!

Q: Are there any cases where I shouldn't comment?

A: Yes, but these are mostly individual cases, not a hard rule. In addition to the circumstances listed above (author preference or leaving a negative comment), please do not comment if you are a minor and the fic is rated higher than teen (you shouldn't be reading these to begin with, but if you are, please don't make it obvious you did so), or conversely, if you write higher-than-teen-rated fics and the fic is written by a minor. Also, if the author has blocked you on other platforms, do not comment, as this is block evasion.

Q: Is it okay to comment just to ask for an update/to prompt another fic?

A: It depends largely on context, tone, etc. "I hope this updates soon" is 100% fine. Guilt trippy messages, like "it's been two years, I know you have been going through a lot but you have an obligation to your readers" are NEVER okay. Similarly, with prompts, saying "I hope you explore (thing) one day" is fine, especially if you know the author, but if your first comment to them ever is requesting a fic for a completely different scenario, ship, etc than they wrote, with little or nothing about the actual fic you're replying to, it will come across as rude.

Q: Is it okay to ask an author for permission to translate the fic into another language or make another derivative work?

A: Absolutely, but not every author will want this to be done, and you need to be prepared to respect their no if they give one. Think of it like asking a restaurant for one of their recipes. Some will happily give it out, others consider it a personal/guarded secret.

That said, do not even dare ask about feeding the work to an AI. Fanfic writers DO NOT want AI touching their work. Same for artists. Yes, this includes trying to make an ending for an abandoned fic. Do not do it.

Q: The author of this fic has held their story "hostage" by refusing to update until they get a certain number of reviews. What should I do?

A: This is a hard one. Of course, no one owes an author reviews, and this sort of thing is considered cringey, and endlessly mocked, for a reason. However, please try to do some perspective-taking and practicing empathy here. Authors are having to put out PSAs on this site and others just to try and get people to engage with their content. Imagine being a musician, getting on stage, performing song after song, and being met with silence, or maybe a single courtesy golf clap here or there. You'd start to doubt yourself, wouldn't you? You might feel inclined to stop playing unless you start getting an indication people actually care about your music, because performing to utter silence is absolutely humiliating. The manner of doing so is all wrong in this case, but try to show a bit of compassion, and imagine how awful, how utterly crushed the author must have been to do this in the first place.

It is definitely your right to not engage with the fic/author anymore, especially if you had been reviewing before the fic got taken 'hostage' and felt the author wasn't grateful for your comments. But if you wanted to be especially kind, you could take some time to try and lift the author up instead, and show them that even if others are not leaving comments, the fic ultimately does mean something to you. It just might be enough for the author to rethink their position.

Q: Why isn't a kudos enough?

A: It's not that a kudos isn't enough, per se: we all enjoy getting likes. But to continue my metaphor above, well... when you perform music, a cheer does feel very different than a courtesy golf clap, you know? You appreciate the golf claps, they are very kind and always welcome, but cheers, "YEAH!"s, and such are what you really live for. And a standing ovation? That could literally change your entire opinion on your art.

Q: I want to leave a comment, but I'm really scared/don't know how/don't know what to say.

A: That's totally okay. Below, I give some ideas of what to say, but keep in mind that if you really don't know what to say, emoji are totally fine! A ♥️ is still really great and will make us smile. Put some keysmashes! Put in just a ton of exclamation points and nothing else! "AHHH OMG!" Those are all perfectly fine!

BUT, if you want to leave something a little more in-depth, here are some great places to start! Trust me, fanfic writers LOVE all of these and would be delighted to get these comments.

ASK QUESTIONS! "Does this mean x?" or "I'm curious, when x said y, is that a sign that z is at play?"

Tell us how you felt while reading the story/chapter. If we made you cry in a particularly sad scene, PLEASE TELL US FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WE LOVE THAT!

If you are in a Discord or other space that's talking about the story, tell us what you/your mutuals/your friends are saying about it. This is a great idea for if you don't know what to say! Even just a "we never shut up about this fic in the Discord" is wonderful to hear.

Tell us what drew you in to the fic (did you like the summary? Was it recced somewhere?) and what made you stay.

Say something you found unique/intriguing about the fic. Maybe you liked the characterization, or the author did a really good job of setting the scene. Let them know!

Make a personal connection to the text, especially if the author wrote something that felt very real to your lived experience.

YELL IN ALL CAPS THAT YOU WANT TO HURT THE VILLAIN OR HUG THE SUFFERING WOOBIE OR SMACK THE MAIN PAIRING FOR BEING OBLIVIOUS ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!

If this story has changed something for you, tell us. If it changed how you see a character, made you ship a ship you never thought of before, changed how you see canon, opened your eyes to a societal issue, gave you a line you think about a lot- please tell us!

Indulgently play along with our cliffhangers. Pretend you don't know that the character will be fine. Pretend that we would actually do it and you're SO SCARED RN for this character.

Wanna know a secret? Wanna know a writer's catnip? Want to know an instant way to make a writer print out your comment for motivation to read later? Quote/paraphrase/reference a bit of text that you loved and tell us your exact thoughts and emotions on it, why you loved it, etc. Quote half the damn chapter back at us in the comments and we will probably propose marriage to you on the spot tbh.

Remember, if you truly can't think of anything to say, just a single emoji still does wonders!!

Hope this guide helps! Happy commenting!

[swiftllama]

August Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

Hello everyone! So this is the continuation of the first Compliments Post I made and a round up of the compliments from August 2023.

So let’s jump in shall we!

August 2023

Starting off the month we got a double dose 4 days into the month. And it actually comes from Ian!

What Would Our Warning Labels Say? | Let’s Get Talking

Ian, Shayne, Courtney, and Angela all played a Q&A style game where Ian gave some answers relating to and complimenting Anthony :-

I should also say the time stamp title for this question in the video is ‘Who Are Our Fave People’ 🥹

Q: “Who do you admire the most?”

Originally Ian agreed with Courtney’s answer of Amanda but never expanded on why and gave a very Ian answer of “things like that [what Courtney said]”, before changing his answer :-

Ian: “I have a different answer actually - Anthony.”

Courtney: “Awwww!”

Courtney being the resident Ianthony fangirl once again and representing us all 😌

Ian: “I think because he was always - until towards the end of his time at Defy he wasn’t a hundred percent in it, but before that with the sketches and now that he’s back, whenever he’s doing something, he’s a hundred percent into it. He’s fully committed. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to make sure it’s the best it can be.”

I know we don’t get it as often from Ian, but these little tidbits that we do show that the appreciation for Anthony is there just as much as Anthony’s is there for him. Ian just expresses himself in different ways. He actually mentions similar thing when it comes to himself and showing outward excitement even when he is excited and Courtney chimes in with how she has seen him showing his excitement outward and how she’s seen it “especially lately” 🥲 I made a post with the clip at the time which you can find here.

Another little moment from the video that is compliment-adjacent I’d say since I think it says a lot about who someone chooses as their answer to the question :-

Q: “If you had to be handcuffed to a person for a week, who would it be and why?”

Ian: “I guess I would say Anthony, because I feel a lot of the video ideas that we came up with back in the day was just out of boredom of being around each other a lot and we’d just come up with a video idea. So I feel like being handcuffed to him for a week would give us an opportunity to come up with a lot of ideas for sketches.”

Okay, so again in typical Ian fashion we gotta read between the lines a little on this one 😅 Ian doesn’t like to get mushy as we know so his reasoning being “coming up with video ideas” doesn’t surprise me lol. But I think the first part of his answer gives a lot away - having someone you can be bored with says a lot. That’s a very specific level of comfort with another person. Not to let my swiftie side show on this post lol but there’s a lyric Taylor has from her song Peace that perfectly sums up what I mean by this

“Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other.”

That’s what I mean. Someone you can be bored with and it’s still a good time, there’s no awkwardness, you can sit in silence because it’s enough to just be existing in the same space that they are.

Moving on from the Games video.

Variety Article (aka Blue Dot Gate)

On the same day, Variety dropped an article with Ian and Anthony, and for some reason Ian had blue dot on his face in the photo that was used for it 🤷‍♀️ Ian was just as confused and so took to his Instagram Story :-

And Twitter :-

But Anthony was quick to show his support 🫡 :-

SLEEPWALKING DISASTER! Watch Party

So during the livestream someone in the chat says that Ian should change his profile picture in the Smosh Royalty discord server to the one of him with all his cross-country medals from his high school senior portraits. He’s got a really terrible haircut in it 🙈 He does find it funny but I’m not going to share it because I know part of him hates it and I feel bad, but it is out there so you should be able to find it if you’re curious.

Anyways, they’re joking around about it and Anthony’s (affectionately) taking the piss out of him for it.

Ian: [explaining the photo] “So I was posing with all my cross-country medals; Cause your boy is a freakin’ champion. No, not really.”

Anthony: [in cutesy voice] “Yeah you arrree.”

Ian don’t you know by now that Anthony will not allow you to downplay your accomplishments! 😤

Anthony: [finds and shows the photo to the camera] “Why did you take a photo with all your medals?”

Ian: “Cause I didn’t accomplish much else [in high school]...”

Anthony: “Awwwww no, yeah you did!”

IAN STOP BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF THATS SO SAD 😩

Glad Bestie Anthony is on hand 🥺

Assassin’s Creed 3 Song - Flashback w/ Smosh Ep 1

First episode of their new podcast brought forth a few little complimentary moments :-

Ian: “I look so adorable here [the screencap above].”

Anthony: “Yeah, you look so cute.”

Anthony: “Awww, Ian being a soft boi”

Plus the little hint of a smile on Anthony’s face seeing baby-face Ian ☺️

That Smosh Guy - Ian Hecox Interview | How Famous Is Jirard?

Another little compliment from Ian sprinkled in the month. Nothing major, just wanted to include it. He went on this podcast and talked about Defy and how what Smosh became ultimately led to Anthony leaving.

Ian: “So after the years of doing all this extra stuff that Anthony felt like wasn’t really core, I think it just really wore him out, and the thing with Anthony is that - if he has a project, he’ll put his whole heart into it.”

Just thought this was nice little one to include since we’ve had a lot of Anthony recognising Ian’s work ethic, so why not the other way round for a change? I think it’s also another example of why their dynamic works well, especially since Ian goes on to say that he’s not like that, and that if he’s not feeling a project he won’t put all his efforts into it. I feel that must balance them out well - that if Ian isn’t really feeling something but Anthony is he can encourage Ian to see the potential in it, and same goes for if Anthony’s putting too much pressure on himself to create something perfect when he doesn’t necessarily need to, Ian is able to pull him back and recognise that he doesn’t need to burn himself out.

Roasting Each Other’s Cringey Tweets (You Posted That)

They brought up the ‘baby more like daddy’ tweet that I included in the first compliments post. And what did I say about how the period of time when Anthony kept complimenting Ian on social media before their reunion stood out to me. Now we have confirmation that, as Erin dubbed it in have video, they were “soft launching” the fact they were talking/friends again.

Ian: [tweet shows on screen] “So I said ‘Baby’s first chain’. Ha ha [fiddles with necklace] now I’m a chain boi.”

Anthony: “Awww.”

Not really a compliment, just thought it was cute lol.

Anthony: “I remember this was my first time ever publicly supporting you.”

Ian: [smiles] “Noooo, that’s not true.”

Oh 🥺 I don’t know what to call this moment exactly? Almost like the shoe is on the other foot? Ian not allowing Anthony to paint himself in a bad light by saying this was the first time he ever showed support to Ian publicly. I agree with Ian that it definitely isn’t the first time over the years but obviously the ‘between years’ caused a big gap and the years before I think it’s clear from what Anthony said in the journal video about not praising Ian enough in the past that he feels bad about that and it’s why he’s so vocal now in supporting him - to make up for that.

Anthony: “It’s [the tweet] something like ‘daddy likey the blingy’.”

Not Anthony lying to try and save face 🤭 he knows exactly what he said! That man remembers the most random, minuet details about things - especially when it comes to Ian. He just doesn’t want to admit he has a thing for calling Ian ‘daddy’ 😏 it’s okay Anthony, you can embrace it, we get it.

EVIL AI TRIED TO KILL ME! Watch Party

Someone in chat congratulations Anthony for being nominated for a Streamy and the boys talk about how they’ve got suits for it and then proceed to go back and forth saying how ‘good’ and ‘hot’ they’re going to look - Which indeed they did 😍

Someone in chat then asks if their suits are matching.

Anthony: “Matching suits? No they’re not matching. But they do look really good together though. They vibe well together.

I don’t think that’s the suits Anthony, I mean they help, but that’s all Ian and you. They look good and they vibe well together 😌

Anways, that was just a fun little one!

Moving on…

Ian ‘Cupid Shuffle’ Hecox

Ian blessed us with this Instagram post of him busting a move and looking 🔥 at Kimmy’s wedding :-

And of course Anthony couldn’t help himself :-

Streamys 2023

We didn’t really get much from the Streamys (not even Anthony winning 😤) but there was one little moment that happened early on in the show where they mentioned OG YouTubers and a clip of Ian from Food Battle 2012 where it looks like he’s doing ‘questionable things’ to a doughnut plays on screen.

Now obviously I don’t know how Ian felt in that moment having that play, but I think anyone would feel a little under the spotlight, especially given the context of the clip and how for people who’ve never seen FB or Smosh it must have been fairly confusing lol.

But no worry, because Ian’s no1 fan was sitting right there next to him. From the audience, over the people laughing and a few claps, you just hear Anthony’s voice yell “YEAH!” with his hand raised in the air :-

Always there to be Ian’s cheerleader 🥹

Anthony Plays Smosh Hide and Seek

So this was just a silly little moment, that again is more compliment-adjacent but still thought it deserved a little shoutout to close out the month.

In the hide and seek video Anthony and Ian are down to the last remaining few people to try and find - one of those being Chanse. Earlier in the video Anthony had checked the clothing racks and not found anyone - Ian wanted to allow him to seek his own as it was his game, but since they were having to re-check where they’d already been Ian decided to help him out, and low and behold, he found Chanse 😆

Anthony couldn’t believe he’d missed him!

Anthony: “That was such a good spot, holy shit! And your feet being in this bucket - holy shit! I would have never found you. Ian, damn, you found him!”

Literally just thought this was cute of Anthony giving Ian the recognition of finding him and that he wouldn’t have been able to without him. That’s all. Have no more thoughts on this one lol.

And so August slipped away into a moment in time…

Hope you enjoyed reading and I shall see you next time!