#thinking about throwing up maybe idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jameslongforjimshortforgabriel · 3 months

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guys I can't take it anymore I like her so MUCH i just wanna LOOK AT HER and BE WITH HER and I just thinka bout KISSING her bcs she's SO GODDAMN PRETTY and I just can't stop LOVING HER but at the same time I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT do you see my problem

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bigkickguy · 1 year

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Shaodw the hedgehog doodle thinking of that "'Shaodw! Continuous use of your super form will cause you to disappear!" quote from finalhazard again : )

#kickdraw #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #this is just that shot from the fgo animation - i'll never get it out of my head #hiromatsu is such a good director #this is a throw away line to explain the time limit in the level but also i'm Thinking About It #in my head this is a part of why shadow's memories are little messed up in the next game - he burned too much away fighting finalhazard #but also just wanted to draw something emo about his memory issues + maybe being immortal #i tried to redraw the shot of maria from the game but idk how her pose works out #oh well ahdkfgjhadkfgfg

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rexscanonwife · 7 months

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Little messy doodle but I was talking to my friend about how my s/i would be using just every petname in the books on Charles but he...struggles a bit to do the same! Even the smallest effort earns him some lovin' tho 🥺💖💖

#artfarts #doodle #self insert #self ship #self shipping community #self insert community #oc x canon #metalocalypse #metalocalypse oc #charles offdensen #🍞 my bread and butter 🍞#I'M FUCKING CRAZY ABOUT HIM UGGGHH #ive been talking about this w some other friends and my partner too but like #he isnt inexperienced or innocent by any means #but hes shown multiple times that though he notices and HAS emotional concerns about the band...#he has a lot of trouble expressing them and often throws his hands up when it doesn't go well #with these two that little habit is probably what caused them to split up in the past 😅😅#but i think he'd still try. i mean he tries for the guys doesnt he??#maybe she can even try to help him #my partner was like 'so u gonna fix him?' and i said idk if he CAN be fixed #but he can be loved 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖

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necrophiliak · 7 months

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#first pic is an updated/edited ver of smth older to match design changes #and orikan... i know it makes sense for necrontyr to be fully covered up but hes such a petty contrarian that i think it feels right-#for him to throw traditional covered up clothing out of the window after he sees that his generation will not die.#idk. was thinking about it a lot i have more to say but its probably not interesting #orikan the diviner #skitarii #iron hands #oc: pallarex #necrons #i have so much to say abt orikan man... so much to think abt so much to say. i love him. hes so...#also i just finished reading severed and it ruined my whole day i cant focus on anything noone told me it was gay FOR REAL #and its the most touching and heartwrenching love story ive ever read in my life and maybe one of my fav stories ive read full stop #fucking necrons man its too much. theyre so heartbreaking.#i will draw obyron sometime... i wanted to today but i slept all yesterday and a lot of today so im too sleepy to do anything except be sad #(over having read severed)#oc #wh40k #oc: R//mu-15

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condenysada · 2 months

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no i'm not okay i'm thinking about mei being afraid of/thinking she's stagnating and mk just wanting things to stay the same (the brotherhood era shadowpeach parallels make me want to rip my hair out)

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk s5 #qi xiaotian #lmk mk #mei dragon #long xiaojiao #IDK. LIKE MAYBE THE HERO AND THE WARRIOR SPEECH IS OUTDATED NOW OR WHATEVER. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT THOUGH #i don't think they're meant to be an exact set up of swk and macaque but #you'd be lying if you said they weren't made to evoke parallelisms #they're not the hero and the warrior but they have the makings of them #i love them both so much i'm gonna throw up

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sammygender · 25 days

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im just thinking abt like. sam (almost) never hits back. only under extreme duress. and i really can't imagine him lashing out at partners either, maybe yelling but never physical. and trying to understand why, like does he actually think he's better than dean by not punching? does he seek therapy at stanford? does he just think he deserves it and feels like he's at the bottom of the totem pole everywhere he goes?

literally makes me feel sick. idk i have a Thing for a teenage sam who is like totally opposed to violence (despite being forced on hunts and into sparring and training and loading guns all the time). there’s that throwaway joke about his idol being gandhi and there’s the fact that obviously sam doesnt Want any of this, this being Hunting and the constant violence that comes with, so i can just see this thing developing where for a brief period hes like sooo holier than thou about it i am better than you and dad cause i read books and i dont solve my problems by hitting things (which tbh he is so right about! <3) but obviously its just his way of coping with the violence that hes been entrenched in since he was six months old. and this is like literally just inside my head. but in my head its true. that was kind of unrelated actually but also not really

and so yeah i think. idk. violence is sooo normal to sam and dean. i think sam doesnt Want to hit back cause its counterproductive and unnecessary and he prefers to talk things through, like that’s just not how he deals with things, what use is hitting back going to do? like then they’d just get into a physical fight. which i dont think he wants. but also 100% even if not consciously i think sam believes he deserves it or at least that its Okay when it happens to him. he literally doesnt even question it. especially like… after s4. i think he tends to just accept deans treatment cause hes got this belief deep down that he’ll always deserve it, and also even if dean isn’t always right he always somehow ends up being right, and….. so awful.

also i do actually think sam went to therapy at stanford but thats just cause i find it fun to think about. like what did he say…. how do you even word the trauma of that upbringing. not sure if he actually took any valuable lessons from it or benefitted from it post short-term.

#thank u for the ask i love talking abt them #i feel like when they were younger sam would’ve hit back more maybe. and it wouldve ended up in actual physical fights/sparring #and i just think idk. sam is wordsy. he does prelaw. hes talkative about things he likes and he relishes explaining cases and hes more #comfortable in a verbal fight. despite his obvious physical strength. meanwhile dean runs out of words to say thatll make sam do what he #wants (slash words to say in general) and throws a punch.#but then its also that sam doesnt even really take an issue with it. from what we see in canon. he’s just like. okay. you satisfied? hit me #all you want it won’t change anything. he barely seems to register it its just part of Dean. which is SO fucked up. <3 #he just!! accepts that this is what dean does if hes angry with sam or about sam or near sam. like.#spn #oliver talks #sam winchester #sam & dean #also anon who r youuu i love you #poison in the water

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reineydraws · 8 months

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I’m fascinated with the op hockey au and ur art that goes with it and was wondering what would the marines be… like would they be refs or rules officials or judges? Like hardly anyone likes the marines and nobody likes rules officials/judges.

asking cause they’re a couple good marines (Koby, Rosinante and Belle Mere)

i mentioned this a little bit in this post but it boils down to them just being generally scattered around sports and sports-adjacent jobs.

i thought mb akainu would be a ref that screws over/directly causes ace injury during a whitebeards vs pirates game; garp works in media (not sports) but doesn't really like the notion that all his kids and grandkids are in pro sports lol; and koby & helmeppo are a rookie espn sports journalism duo (writer + cameraman) that interned at garp's media company for a while before changing to espn (garp was exasperated about it haha). but ye, the marines would be scattered as judges and rules officials and people on the olympics committee, etc etc.

i said nami would be a marketer or mb a sportscaster, so i think it'd be cute if belle-mère did something similar in her day, annndddd idk about cora. i made croc mihawk's manager but i have no idea what doffy would do and how cora would play into all that. would love to hear if anyone's got any ideas tho!

#op hockey au #rei replies #one piece #i wonder what smoker and tashigi would be too hm #maybe they're also hockey players but smoker just absolutely loathes the pirates for some reason #maybe for a stupid reason. i think it'd be funny if it was like that.#or maybe smoker is a referee but he's not corrupt or biased about it and he just finds the pirates antics annoying #bc some of their plays and the way they defend dont really make sense all the time but it's within the rules #so even tho smoker is kinda mad about it he'll have to throw up his arms and go 'I GUESS'#as he refuses to rule in a biased way like some of his other colleagues.#who knows #re: doffy maybe he's like. in the mafia. and cora's just out there trying to be in the sports world in a proper and clean capacity #and has to watch out for doffy trying to take advantage when it comes to stuff like the olympics. idk.

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hauntingblue · 6 months

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making a collection

making another collection with a threatening aura

#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo #HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there #FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend #usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase #nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls #i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki #luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg #cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy #zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over #zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn #komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom #luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk #it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also #was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe #zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her #that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme #fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems #foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests #now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby #the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies #kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs

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autisticlee · 2 months

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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more #sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently #yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn #and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else #everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution #but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me #youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset #and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE #like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life #if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us #we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way #they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature #this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it #someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic #autism #actually autistic #lee rambles #words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not #also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it #why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation #no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd #today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better

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toytulini · 3 months

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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

#toy txt post #my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW #its very silly of me #imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad #even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i #listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary #i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a #different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound #so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy #ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate #feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed #*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it #which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting #sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same #i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic #OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about #different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject #needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP #ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE #WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE #SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR #ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT #anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess #(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill #deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts #and the subject

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chiimeramanticore · 9 days

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#im not dead quit asking #I'm just really really really not doing well #sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent #things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure #i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc #i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person #i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see #i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that #maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway #I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner #and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first #everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions #my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol #and i still don't know a lot of you personally but #parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people #I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems #im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly #and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days #I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol #but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much #but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs #im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself #which I think is where im at now. burnt out #and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys #if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber #etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there #im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet #hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime

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inamagicalhallucination · 1 year

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i dont get when ppl say "atsushi would be horrified" at something thats probably just another tuesday for him

#yall atsushi is sheltered as in he doesn't know the real world literally cuz he was locked up #not that he doesn't know how evil or awful ppl can be #sure maybe some things he'll be horrified - especially since he usually seems to sympathize and empathize but stop treating him like he's #only seen good things in his life and doesn't know how hard it gets #i think atsushi would really only react to the specifics of dazai's relationship with akutagawa in terms of akutagawas past but i dont thin #hed start being scared of dazai or anything #i think he might take some time to process it but atsushi is aware of the dazai that dazai has changed into too #also in terms of atsushi not wanting to kill #when he realized that he killed shibusawa he had a little break down and then he got the fuck over it lmao #so idk whats this stuff about atsushi not being able to handl ever killing anyone #like he doesn't like unnecessary killing and he doesn't like not valuing life but still guys come on #also when ppl talk about atsushi not understanding or getting the fact that dazai wants to kill himself #like okay yea atsushi isnt dazai he'll never understand but sometimes ppl act like atsushi doesn't know what suicide is #or that despite his strong want and thirst to survive he also doesnt also think itd be better if hed died in a ditch #what else #also i dont like when ppl say atsushi is weirdly mean to akutagawa becuz akutagawa showed up and in a way confirmed atsushis worst fears #bringing misfortune to those around him #and then tried to kill him #and then resented him for dazai liking him more even tho thats not atsushis fault at all #fuck id throw dazai's name back at akutagawas face too #and he did come to understand and care for him to some extent #atsushi cares about akutagawa i dont understand how ppl can think he doesnt #anyway #also atsushi canonically gives ppl who've hurt him second chances like look at lucy why would he turn his back on dazai ever

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skunkes · 1 year

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what they dont tell you about being incredibly introspective is that you'll think you're done making realizations and then you'll just make more realizations always all the time forever

#dude. guess who just found out the reason he's incapable of imagining himself in a good relationship #is bc he's never witnessed any growing up.#my parents dont have a relationship i would want #only one of my siblings is married and her husband sucks. other has never dated while ive been alive (im much younger)#+ my other sibling had. a strange relationship i wont mention details of but this was also like 5 yrs ago and he hasnt dated since #i have very few close friends and none of them dated as we grew up either #or even with some its like. i wldnt want your relationship lol...#the only Good relationships i see are online from ppl i follow. and then i cant trust em bc we only see the Good Parts #so like. do they even exist... i dont think so....#if i wasnt starved for physical touch id consider throwing in the towel permanently #but idk maybe ill buy one of those pillows with the arms that wrap around you #and a few more **** and try and cope with it in kenland or al's farm forever #talkys #im still 100% serious about ppl who have good relationships being lucky bc i feel like #the chances of finding someone you mesh with and are attracted to and can communicate with. are so slim.#i can barely ever find someone meeting one of many requirements. i can barely make friends. etc

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longagoitwastuesday · 4 days

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Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy seems like out of The Onion