#think he was dodging bullets on his way down? lmao

[reindeer-dad]

@bodycontainsahumansoul ( continued from here )

While Noelle invoked the imagery of a snowy white mage, or almost holiday angel, Rudy was all Winter King in his attire. Almost, anyway. All he was missing was a crown and a sword...

Kris pauses as well when they see that pendant the monster man wore....where had he gotten that. The human didn’t like the look of what was inside of it-

“Where did you want to go?”

They ask, the HEART in Kris’ chest urging them on to add Rudy into their party.They had to keep him safe- and find out what was going on!

“Wherever, man!” Rudy chirped an answer at Kris’s question. Then, off he went, ahead of the human, literally “hopping to it,” as he stated. His hooves clopped against tile as he jogged with a hop and a skip every two steps. The freedom of being able to use his legs after days of bed confinement brought the old man nothing but child-like glee.

Unlike Noelle, who was all caution in her explorations of the Dark World, Rudy opted to throw it to the wind. Dream or not, he was happy not being hospital-bound, even if this Dark World gave a bit of a hospital vibe.

Rudy stopped not too far in front from Kris. The reindeer couldn’t help but snicker at the sight of the sudden sharp decline of the ground he narrowly avoided... resembling an adult-sized playground slide. Sloping, seemingly, to nowhere.

The slope was comprised of slick, slippery tiles that any hooved monster couldn’t walk across without much effort. “Well, if it ain’t my mortal enemy: waxed tile!” Rudy gave Kris a mischievous grin.  What was there to lose? This was all a dream, anyways! Might as well go with the flow!

“Welp.” His mantle flapped as he threw up his gloved hands. “Surf’s up!” With a running start, he clacked onto the trail of sloped waxed tiles and slid down, down, down in a blur of red.

[mrs-hatake]

How JJK Men Hold Your Chin

Warnings: MDI!!! yandere behavior, obsessiveness, manipulation, dacryphilia, over protectiveness, human sacrifice, mentioned assassination, foul language, female reader, HUMAN!sukuna

A/N: i kinda went overboard with sukuna lmao. credits are in the pics! also, shoutout to my soulmate who encouraged me to write and publish this luv u 🥹

Toji:

Toji’s eyes shoot open when the soft rattle of the window opening fills the bedroom. Whoever decided to ambush Toji, in own home no less, is doing a piss poor job at it. The number rule of breaking and entering is that you need to be as quiet as the dead…Or make sure you aren’t breaking into a room where the occupants of the house are in. 

He doesn’t move, makes sure to keep his breathing deep and even as his ears focus on the soft thud across from his bed. The gentle rustle of feet on carpet is thundering. It makes Toji wonder which sorry idiot decided to attack him. He lies still. Waiting.

Toji senses a presence behind his back. The stare of the invader doesn’t feel oppressive but more hesitant. Big mistake. Waiting a heartbeat before striking, Toji quickly has the criminal pinned under him on the bed. A terrified screech stabs sharply in his ears, ringing like an alarm clock.

Leaning over, Toji harshly tugs on the string of the desk lamp on the nightstand. Dim yellow light floods the corner of the room where Toji’s bed is placed. 

With the darkness gone, Toji’s eyebrow quirks at the sight below him. A pair of eyes stare at him in a vacuous stupor, their lips formed into a silent ‘o’ shape. 

Toji blinks down at the frightened woman. 

She blinks back. 

Whoever sent her his way is a freaking dumbass. Aside from the fear drowning in her eyes, incompetence screamed at him. How did his enemies expect to dispose of him with someone as weak as her?

Lost in his thought, the woman raises her leg and tries to kick Toji off of her. Luckily, Toji’s reflexes are as sharp as a cat's and dodges the attack. He yanks her leg down before pressing all of his weight on it, trapping her.

“Don’t kill me.” The woman pleads and it forces Toji’s head to tilt to the side in confusion.

“You’re here to kill me.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious thing, “It’s only fair I defend myself.”

His words strike a nerve. The woman begins to frantically shake her head, jostling Toji with her movement. “Please.” She whispers repeatedly like a broken record. 

Having had enough, and with the exhaustion from today’s mission catching up to him, Toji’s large and calloused hand grabs the woman’s chin, successfully suspending her thrashes. 

The tip of his thumb is brushing the edge of the woman’s chapped lip. The two, caught in a daze, are silent. 

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you?” Toji’s voice drops to a murmur, his already deep voice growing deeper.

The woman continues to stare at him but there’s something calculative in her eyes, as if she’s determined the best course of action. Whatever she finds, melts the tension from her. Her form relaxes under Toji but he still maintains his weight on her. It could be a trap after all. Waiting for him to drop his guard down before she strikes. Toji has been in the business for so long that such a childish trick is insulting.

“I’ll tell you who hired me.” The woman's breath comes out shaken, broken.

Toji contemplates her answer before shaking his head, “Not enough.” 

His response doesn’t deter the woman. In fact, it strengthened her resolve.  “Not just the organization I work with but several of them. It’s like a betting ring.” She explains, her eyes hard, unafraid to meet him. 

Toji thinks. People wanting him dead isn’t something new but that doesn’t mean he has the free time to hunt down every single one of them. However, what the woman says next sends a chill down his spine.

“They’re coming after your son.”

Her statement is a bullet shot straight to his heart. If what this woman is saying is true, then he needs to take her word for it.

“If you’re lying,” Toji’s grip on the woman’s chin is unforgivable, “I will kill you and your pathetic family.” he spits before letting go. 

Satoru:

The woman is panting harshly as she leans against the metal pillar at the underground train station. The ruckus of the coming and goings of the people blend into the background until it’s nothing but a gentle hum. She swallows her dried throat, thick and heavy, gathering whatever moisture to nourish the muscle. The woman’s back presses against the pillar as her eyes close shut. Greedily, she sucks air into her lungs. 

Weakly, her eye opens and it darts frantically across the station until it lands on the departure board. The orange LED lights glaring harshly at her. Still, the woman squints as she reads the list and the corresponding time. Her train leaves in less than half an hour. She’s exhausted. Her legs are screaming at her from her earlier run and throat is begging for water. But the woman pushes through.

With one final deep inhale, the woman pushes herself and makes her way to the platform where her train will arrive in ten minutes. 

The woman hasn’t taken a single step forward when a voice wells up a wave of acid deep from within her belly. 

“Found you.”  A voice she once associated with reverence has her recoiling in horror.

Inchmeal, the woman turned.

Gojo Satoru is standing in front of her. Despite the gentle smile on his lips, Satoru’s blue eyes are as wild as a stormy sea, raging and fervent.

A blink and Satoru’s hand is cupping the woman’s cheek in a tight embrace. She winces at the pain, reaches her hand to wrap around Satoru’s wrist and tugs it away to no avail. 

“Oh, Y/N,” Satoru sighs as if she is some naughty child, “It’s cute that you think you can run away from me.” 

The woman’s eyes pleads Satoru, begs him to let her go, set her free, but Satoru is blind. 

With a powerful pull, Satoru yanks the woman into an embrace. His muscled arms trapped her in an unbreakable cage. 

“Let’s go home.” Instead of Satoru’s whisper resembling a kitten’s soothing licks, it feels like a spider crawling up her throat.

Nanami:

Warm hues of orange and pink spreading across the sky is the last thing the woman sees before her eyes shut close. She doesn’t scream as she falls to her death. Her descent is calm, freeing in a morbid sense. Though the curse is still rampaging the abandoned hospital, terrorizing the second year students, the woman accepts her demise with a serene smile. 

The impact she has been embracing for doesn’t come to her. Well, not in the way she had imagined numerous times whenever the woman is sent off on a mission. Instead, a firm but pliable object breaks her fall. 

Cinnamon and black coffee invades her senses. A roaring heartbeat echoes in her ears but before the woman can open her eyes, she is gently put on her feet.

“How can you be so careless?” A voice growling in her direction forces the woman’s eyes to open.

Blinking the black spots from her vision, the woman lifts her gaze from the ground to where Nanami Kento is standing just a few feet away from her. His muscles are stiff and his lips are pressed together in anger.

Oh shit.

“What were you thinking?” Kento continues, uncaring of how his voice is increasing in volume but the woman is shell shocked. Not from the fall but from the fact that, in the years she has known Nanami Kento, is losing his cool.

“I’m fine.” The woman sighs in exhaustion as her hands dusts her outfit free of dirt. She notices in her peripheral vision the second year students delivering the final blow to the curse spirit, their cheer turning into horrified groans when the curse exploded into tiny little pieces and it covered them with neon green goo. “I had it under control.”

Kento rolls his eyes, “Like hell you were.”

Worn out and oddly hungry, the woman turns away from her livid colleague. “I don’t have time for this.” she mutters.

“We’re not done talking.” Kento calls after her but the woman doesn’t meet his dark eyes, raging with an uncontrollable fire.

Just as the woman is turning to leave, Kento’s massive hand cups her chin and forcefully pulls her to face him.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Kento seethes through clenched teeth. His thumb on the apple of her left cheek presses deeply into the supple skin, almost bruising.

The woman’s jaw clenches, the muscles flexing underneath Kento’s fingers on her right cheek. Her piercing gaze is unyielding but Nanami Kento doesn’t back down.

“Don’t you dare do that again.” Though Kento’s tone is cold and disapproving, the woman hears the concern loud and clear. 

“Answer me.” He barks with the authority of a man who should not be challenged. 

“I won’t.” The woman responds in a strained voice. 

Geto:

The woman’s eyes are large and rimmed with tears as she meets irises colored in vibrant amethyst.

The man returns her gaze with feigned kindness and condescending pity. His hands cupping her cheeks are warm and they light a fire in her belly. His thumbs are slightly rough with callouses but they are gentle as they wipe away stray tears. Soft lips kiss the woman’s forehead, their velvety touch is soothing, imbued with a delicate tenderness that has the woman melting like putty in his arms. 

“Now, be a good little girl and do as you’re told.” Geto Suguru’s voice is rich with sweetness and has a velvety timbre, resembling a bitter drink with traces of sugar. It has a propitiating quality to it that embraces the woman in a sense of tranquility.

“Suguru.” The woman hiccups, vision blurred with unshed tears. 

Suguru coos, the sound echoing that of a mother worrying over her child after waking up from a nightmare. He leans in, slowly and tenderly as if to not frighten her off, and licks each tear trail from each cheek.

“Suguru?” The woman sputters, her eyebrows furrowing in bewilderment as she tries to process what just happened. 

Though the soft smile Suguru gives her radiates warmth, there’s a subtle glimmer in his eyes that hints at something the woman can’t recognize but it fills her with dread. 

“There, there.” Suguru whispers gently, his hands still cupping her cheeks. His fingers are wet with tears but the fact doesn’t bother him.

“This will all be over soon.”

Sukuna:

Sukuna’s hibernation is interrupted by cacophonous ceremonial chants reverberating from the forest below.

Year after year, Sukuna has reprimanded the villagers for their never ending harassment. They mistake his cursed lineage as an entity to protect his village when, in reality, the Ryomen clan was cursed by the Gojo clan three hundred years ago for violating the peace treaty because one member from the branch family decided to be a cocky little shit and terrorize humans and now Sukuna has to suffer the consequences. 

Every first day of spring, the villagers leave animal caracases at the mouth of his cave to satiate his hunger. When that didn’t work, the villagers sent wooden crates filled to the brim with glimmering gold coins and a crown decorated in sparkling diamonds to persuade Sukuna in blessing their harvest. Stupid villagers and their stupid myths. If they had bothered to open a history book, they would have discovered that Ryomen Sukuna is just as human as any of them. The only difference is that part of the Gojo clan’s punishment was to inject every member of the Ryomen clan with poison into their bloodstream that altered their genetic composition. Instead of having two arms and two eyes like everyone else, the Ryomens now have four arms and four eyes. Oh, and an additional mouth on their belly.

A satisfied moan falls from his mouths when his muscles pop as he stretches his four arms high into heaven. Scratching his side with one of his hands, Sukuna trudges to the mouth of the caves and watches with complete boredom as those fools travel the winding path leading to his habitat. Glancing at the sun, Sukuna figures it’ll take them another hour before they arrive. 

When the villagers do arrive, they wordlessly leave their sacrifice at the cave entrance and leave, just as silent and unnerving. 

With nothing better to do, Sukuna humors the villagers and steps out of his stifling home.

Despite it being early spring, the weather is still warm but the air has a certain bite to it. Not enough to warrant thicker garment but enough to appreciate the cool breeze caressing Sukuna’s skin.

Stepping outside, Sukuna comes to a sudden halt. His four eyes blink before they glance around the forest, searching for a glimpse of the villagers who will explain what this year’s present is. 

Below him, just a few meters away from his feet, is a woman lying on her side. She is dressed in all white and her hair is fixed in a complicated updo. Gems dangle with each blow from the wind and Sukuna’s nose picks up the hints of honey and vanilla.

Sukuna’s thick fingers massage the spot between his eyes while his two arms cross in front of his stomach, pressing against his mouth.

Great, just great. Those idiots brought him a human sacrifice this year for whatever fucked up reason. Sighing, long and heavily, he picks up the unconscious woman and carries her into his cave.

It’s around nightfall when Sukuna hears soft groans coming from his bed. His upper right arm is stroking the fire to life while his lower right arm throws wood into the fire pit. His stomach has been growling for the past hour and his tongue keeps licking the curve of his belly button. If Sukuna will ever have the chance to fight the infamous Gojo Satoru, he wants to inject him with the same poison just so he can understand the hell Sukuna’s been through. 

“You’re awake.” Sukuna’s voice cuts into the night air, deep and smooth. 

The woman freezes on the bed and takes a moment to gather her thoughts before pushing herself into a sitting position. 

When the woman turns to face him, Sukuna’s two pairs of red eyes roam over the woman’s face that’s painted with soft makeup to enhance her beauty. 

“Greetings, Sukuna-sama.” The woman greets him in a luscious voice, no doubt a skill taught to her by the elderly women of the village. Sukuna resists rolling his eyes at their stupidity. Instead, he tosses the iron rod aside and saunters to his bed. 

Though the woman bows her head in submission, her form lowered in a beautiful arch, Sukuna can see her trembling in her place. After all, Sukuna cuts an intimidating figure. Not just with his additional limbs and eyes but also with his height; totaling at two hundred centimeters. It's a small wonder she is frightened. 

An index finger that is as long and slender as the iron rod hooks under the woman’s chin and tilts it upward to face him. 

A soft hum emits from Sukuna, “The villagers have outdone themselves with this year’s sacrifice," his finger glides down her neck, "heh, they must be desperate to please me.”

The woman says nothing. Her eyes are lidded and they are clouded in something that Sukuna cannot discern but they add to her charm. Flames flicker to life in Sukuna, sparking intense desire that burns through him like wildfire.

“I’ll take good care of you.” Sukuna vows, his voice lowering into a hummed whisper, each word heavy with yearning and licentiousness.

[shegxox]

unsaid | lookism

in which you receive a midnight guest in the middle of your stream

notes: curse words , reader is a "rising" streamer, gotta censor some titles like in the manhwa lmao

wc:

a.n: i have no idea what the heck happened towards the end, this red flag is rotting my brain, please send hel–

next :

YOU glared at the large flat screen of your monitor, eyes slowly getting red with bags under your eyes getting darker.

"We're not stopping until I get out of iron, chat." You rasped, looking intensely at your computer. "These fucking smurfs!"

Another round lost for the fifth time.

You started streaming and playing v*lorant four hours ago at 8 p.m and honestly? You were having a blast! But then, you entered competitive.

When it comes to other games, you're as swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, and have the strength of a raging fire. You were deemed a genius in certain games due to your fast critical thinking and strategies.

But then, v*lorant came, and suddenly. . . you're a blind person who dodges on-screen bullets in real life like a complete idiot.

You suck at playing first-person shooting games, and in this one? It was like you were playing a horror game instead. You'd violently flinch whenever the sound of the sniper gun would go off and kill you, the footsteps coming in close to your way were unnerving, and the jumpscares– oh god, the jumpscares.

Though despite all that, this game is hella addicting. Addicting to the point where you even dream about it in your sleep.

"Give me a week, you guys." You spoke to your virtual audience. "I promise to get aces when I finally–!"

Suddenly, you heard a loud bang coming from the other side of your room followed by what seemed to be glass shattering. The sudden noise made you jump slightly from your seat and dart your head towards the sound.

"What." You blurted out, going silent as your chat started to flow with worried messages, hearing the unsettling sound as well.

Yup, that's how loud it was.

Woah what was that

Did someone break in?

Oh no, lock your door!

Please stay safe.

Call the police!!

You narrowed your eyes, eyebrows furrowing slightly as you wondered what the initial noise was. Besides the glass crashing, the first one didn't sound like something falling over, instead, it sounded like–

'Shit'

"Sorry guys." You apologized as you started to exit the game. "Looks like we're not grinding tonight, I'll see you all in the next stream."

Without bothering to look at the responses, you ended your stream and turned off your camera as well as your pc.

Taking off your headphones, you stood up from your seat and quietly made your way out of your room– slowly opening the door as you do.

It was silent, you could only hear the soft ticking of the clock with the hallway leading to the living room shrouded with darkness. You stood on your tiptoes before creeping your way to the living room, and just before you could turn the corner, you switched on the lights.

Immediately seeing a broken vase on the ground, you peeked through the corner and felt your breath instantly get hitched at your throat. Eyes widening from the unexpected sight as you revealed yourself from behind the wall.

It was a man, he was shirtless and sat comfortably on the couch with his arms and knees sprawled out as if he owns the place, head thrown back at the back rim of the couch.

"Gun??" You breathed out in disbelief. "The fuck you doing here?"

"Is that how you greet your guests?" He utters nonchalantly. "No complimentary wine or anything?"

You gave him a deadpan look, "This is my apartment, not a hotel."

He lifted his head from its position and looked at you from his seat. His left eyebrow quirked, glasses turning white from the light's reflection.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He questioned as if offended by your clothes. Even with that stupid anime glasses flare effect you could tell he just eyed you up and down like you were some peasant.

"How dare you," You squinted your eyes as you started to approach him slowly. "You break into my home, smash my precious vase, and dare insult my Pikachu onesie?"

You stood before him, looking down at his face.

"You wanna die?"

Gun feigned a sigh, "You've been away from me for almost a year, and look what happened to your fashion sense."

Your left eye twitched.

'This mother fu–'

"Weren't you the one who told me to always look good on every occasion?" His lips tugged into a smug smirk. "Such a shame."

"Ya." You called out, a vein popping on the side of your head. "If you must know I was just streaming earlier, just how the fuck did you find me and–"

Your eyes trailed down to his bare chest.

". . . Dude, my couch is white what the hell."

It was just then that you noticed a huge slash across his chest with fresh blood dripping from the wounds.

"You care about the couch more than me?"

"Oh, of course not, you're my baby girl." You answered with sarcasm dripping your tone. "Who cares if the cleaner becomes suspicious of me after seeing blood on my couch and started accusing me of murder."

"Damn, you still talk too much."

"And you're still ugly."

You sighed before turning your back, making your way to the kitchen.

"Who did you fight this time?"

Gun raised an amused brow, "Weren't you gonna ask how I found you?"

"What, nooo." You then said in a dramatic tone, "How could I ask that when my baby girl is bleeding to death!"

"Ya, stop with that nickname."

"My baby girl should always come first." You teased in a monotone voice as you pulled out a first aid kit from a cabinet. You then went back to where he was and plopped down on the couch next to him.

"Spill."

"It's none of your business."

"Then why are you even here." You took out the disinfectant, pieces of cotton, and a tweezer.

"Free patch up." Gun replied curtly

You suck your teeth, left eyebrow quirking briefly as you shrugged nonchalantly.

"Touché." You held up the cotton dipped in disinfectant with your tweezers before bringing it close to his wound. "Better start talking to distract yourself, this will sting like a bitch."

". . ."

You dabbed the cotton gently.

"Get this–" Gun started to talk, feeling that familiar sting as you started to clean his wound. Though he had gotten used to it, talking does get him distracted from the pain, he doesn't mind getting less pain from his treatment.

He started to talk about this crew called Hostel, a bunch of runaway kids who live in an old building loving together as a family. Gun then proceeds to rant about this particular guy named Eli whom he tried to take under his wing and make him his potential successor.

"What happens then?" You inquired. "I take this is the part where things go south?"

Gun hummed in reply, "He found out his was pregnant."

"Ah." You threw your head back slightly. "Let me guess, the two of you had a father son fight and in the end you let him go."

"Hm."

"That's one hell of a story." you comment, nearly finishing the disinfecting process of his wound.

"He had the most potential that I've seen," Gun mused. "And he threw it all away just for some girl."

"If he risked even fighting you just to get away, then she's just not some girl." You stated. "She's a girl that he greatly loves."

Gun scoffed from hearing that particular word, his chest heaving up as he did.

"Love, huh." He shook his head once. "What a cliché."

You let out a soft chuckle, finally finished with disinfecting.

"It is cliché," You agreed as you took out the bandages. "But not odd."

"It's stupid." Gun spats, sitting up properly on his seat as you work your way with the bandages. "Wasting an opportunity to get stronger just for that?"

"Hm," You started to wrap his chest. "You seem to forget, babygirl–"

"Stop it."

"Babygirl." You pressed. "There are two things that humans would go crazy for, and that's money and love."

"At least money's worth it, you'd have power."

"That is true," you nodded. "But love gives you power as well, just– in a different way. It's what probably fueled Eli to still try and fight you, heck, he even gave you this."

You gently pressed your wrapped chest, careful to not put too much pressure. Gun looked at you intently through his glasses.

"Love can make you do things that could go even beyond reason, it messes you up on the inside but somehow still becomes your strength." Removing your hand, you continued to wrap the bandages around him. "If it's all for love, you either win or lose. It's what makes or breaks you, all depending on how you wish to face it."

"You talk as if you've experienced it yourself," Gun comments with a scoff. "Did you ever become a fool for love?"

"A fool?" You huffed a laugh as a memory flashed at the back of your mind. "Maybe for a time, but I choose to run away from it."

"Run away?"

"Mhm." You hummed, as you finished the last lap of bandages. "But somehow, it keeps finding me no matter how hard I try to run."

Securing the bandage, you let out a sigh, facing him with a blank expression.

"So, how did you find me, Gun?" Gathering up the bloodied cotton balls, you stood up with the first aid kit in your other hand before going back to the kitchen.

"You slipped up once in your stream." He answered and you clicked your tongue, throwing the cottons away and putting back the kit into the cabinet.

"It was the window, wasn't it?"

"It took a while, but here I am." Gun tilted his head to the side, watching you from afar. "What will you do now."

You turned your back to face him again from the counter, sighing as you say,

"I don't know, probably sleep."

Gun then abruptly stood from his seat and started to approach you.

"Why do you keep running away, huh?" He questioned in a demanding tone, "You could've been living like a princess right now instead of pleasing perverts online."

"Excuse me?" You frowned. "Is that what you think goes on with my work?"

Gun scoffed, smirking cruelly as he reached the other side of the counter.

"You call that work?"

"Yes, and I love doing what I do and it's legal." You firmly state, "If you think what I do is pleasing perverts by just playing games, then it is you who have to change your sick perspective."

"So you're doing this because you love the attention you're not getting from–"

Gun found himself suddenly facing to the left, a stinging pain throbbing on his cheek, his glasses falling on the floor.

He lets out a low chuckle, seemingly bemused. He slowly turned to face you once again, eyeing you firmly like a predator with his dark eyes.

"Good to know you're still strong, princess."

You gave him a cold stare.

"You must have been tired from your fight." You uttered carefully. "You may rest here in the living room if you please, but if not, please lock the door as you go.

You turned your heel to walk away, but a firm hand caught hold of your wrist, pulling you to face him again.

"Why won't you just come back," Gun frowned. "Do you really wish to live like this?"

You stayed silent, glaring into the abyss of his eyes.

"You deserve more than this."

Gritting your teeth, you harshly pulled your hand away from his hold.

"I do." You agreed in a low tone. "From all the shit that wannabe father put me through, I sure as hell deserve more than this."

"You think you can survive on your own?" He challenged in a condescending tone. "He's still the reason why you're still well off."

"I can survive on my own." You snapped. "Even if I end up alone, I will get through this and make a name for myself. Don't you dare show your face to me again. . . please."

With that, you went to your room and locked the door without another word, leaving the man standing alone in the room with his jaw clenched and hands curling into a fist.

The next day, Gun found himself alone in the apartment without a single sight of you, it was as if you disappeared out of thin air.

"Yet another hide and seek, hm?" Gun mused to himself.

"Better hide properly this time, princess."

[looseinthecatroom]

Soooo little late, but between Oops and MMMS, noticing Ozzie do a little elbow nudge to Fizz when Verosika is dragging Blitz's performance in bed hits a bit different.

So like, there's probably a very high chance Fizz would have returned Blitz's feelings if he had delivered his letter, yeah? Or heck, maybe Fizz just clocked Blitz's crush when they were young.

Either way, I can't help but read this as Ozzie having a good idea what went down, and going "Lmao. See Fizzy? You dodged a bullet."

(How much DOES/did Fizz talk about Blitz to Ozzie, what with him "living rent free in his head", do y'all think? >.>

Also do you think Blitz's side eye here is due to particular embarrassment at being called out in front of his first crush specifically? Obviously he's not embarrassed to be called out in front of Stolas. Stolas can judge his performance in bed for himself. >3>)

[watermelinoe]

So i've never been fond of the "urgh I'm a bi woman who loves girls but I'm stuck with this crusty guy 🙄" thing because i view it as juvenile and disrespectful to the person you have chosen to be in a relationship with but I've mostly only seen it online.

But I went to the club with some girls this past weekend and one of the women in our group not only brought her bf out with us but then hit on me right in front of him and did the whole bit about "omg you're so much hotter than my man, if I was singly rn, can't believe I'm stuck with this dude." We were standing about 2 feet away from him.

Girl if you hate him that much, why are you dating him and why did you bring him

This isn't really related to anything specific you've posted I just wanted to rant about it. I'm also a bi woman in a straight relationship and it dropped my jaw to think of behaving so contemptuously to my partner. Like she treated being attracted to me as a big joke/not real and not like she just offered to cheat on her bf while he stood a few feet away

the curse of bi women dating extremely crusty worthless failmales deserves a dissertation honestly ....

basically bi women are socialized not to pursue relationships with women seriously and i will explain how i could have become this woman if it wasn't for finding radblr

and this isn't to excuse this behavior exactly (not that i actually care if a bi woman puts down her shitty bf and knows she's out of his league bc in my experience these dudes think they're god's gift to women) bc it's disrespectful to other ssa women

and it's like okay every stereotype of the cheating bi woman who always gravitates to a man bc that's the only "real" relationship to her (and this btw does absolutely help to explain why bi women have the highest rates of IPV) is because of socialization

i was fascinated with lesbian relationships from a young age, i was a tomboy, i gravitated towards stories where women and girls fell in love with each other, i made OCs in lesbian relationships. i was aware that people could be gay, although in live-action media i had never seen lesbians, only gay men. i didn't know anyone who was gay or bi.

it genuinely did not occur to me that being with another girl was something that could happen to me in real life. idk how to explain this disconnect, bc i absolutely thought about kissing my female friends and what it would be like, but as far as i knew i was the only person who felt that way in real life.

meanwhile, boys actually did like me, did pursue me, and i accepted thinking i would eventually "get" what having a boyfriend was about, and this should probably help illustrate why i questioned my sexuality for so long (i was never boy crazy, always uncomfortable if a boy liked me, and the thought of dick was not appealing to me lmao) but i was in love with the same boy my entire childhood who treated me like shit (a pattern later but anyway) and if i were five years younger i'd be all in on the split attraction model but bullet dodged, i am just bi and i like being bi now

in many cases having a boyfriend is just something that happens to girls, and it becomes a habit that you can't break. it didn't happen to me, but i watched so many amazing girls twist themselves into knots for complete losers, because they couldn't be single, they didn't know how.

and all these girls know is the male gaze. the kind of bisexual men want women to be. and there's no incentive to take your attraction to women seriously because no one else does, because you're supposed to be with a man anyway, but you might resent it. i think that woman is probably filled with resentment.

i was in college and i found radblr and i found women who wanted to be with women and i realized it was real and that there might be women who wouldn't feel disgusted if they knew i wanted them. but a lot of bi women never have that moment, they only explore their sexuality through content made for men and through some greasy boyfriend

so anyway she sounds like she sucks but also i feel like bi women are uniquely punished for perpetuating the patriarchy in a way that, say, straight women are not

[mbrainspaz]

Christians going "Yeah I'm christian, go ahead and persecute me! I'm used to it!" is so sad and funny at the same time. Especially in America. You're not gonna get that from me hun. Like I'm gonna waste my energy talking to christians after I had to spend a decade deconstructing my own faith. Either you'll figure things out eventually or you'll double down until you're fully entrenched. As long as you leave non-christians alone that's your business.

I know if some burned out queer cowboy hobo had told 20 year old christian kid me what their adult life was really gonna be like...

"kiddo, I know you're a vaguely nationalist christian fundamentalist now but just wait until every aspect of your blessed social order fails you and you spend a little time homeless. Oh—you thought you couldn't be homeless if you just worked hard enough? Honeyyy. Your first 'christian' bosses won't even give you lunch breaks even though they live in mansions with their trophy wives. You got a degree so you could sell their scammy fake diet pills and live on instant potatoes with hot dog bites and sleep on the floor by the fireplace in your first drafty apartment like it was 1813. Also you have mental illnesses. Spoilers. No, you can't just power through ADHD. Yes it is a real thing. So is the family history of chronic depression your dad hasn't told you about yet. You think that's bad? Wait until he disowns you during the pandemic. Don't worry about the pandemic yet, but yeah, that's how you ended up homeless. Why didn't you just buy a house? With your christian husband? Ohhhh. Ooooof. Well let's gloss over the next few economic disasters but basically you're gonna nearly marry a guy next year until he loses his temper and destroys your trust. It's for the best though because he kinda turns into one of those right wing gun nuts a few years down the road. Dodged a bullet there! Literally lmao. Oh you... you want to know why you didn't become a missionary? So the church actually doesn't let 'single women' do mission work. Yeah... yeah it is to stop you from leading the single male missionaries astray. You kind of already knew where that was going. Don't worry, the misogyny only gets more blatant from here. Just wait until you're 25. Hey, remember how fun it was to sit with your parents in church? You get to do that for so many more years because there are no other unmarried 20-somethings in fundamentalist churches. If you leave and go to a different church your dad will disown you. He does that like 6 times though, so it does lose its sting. What were the other times? Um... okay so it was 'going to a church he didn't like,' 'being too single,' 'not praying enough' (don't ask me to explain that one, I'm still confused), 'having too many pets that might scare away the men,' and 'not voting for trump.' Oh! By the way, if you get a chance to go to a state fair and throw tomatoes at that guy in say... mid 2015, don't pass that up. You'll regret it. Especially while you're stuck living on a ranch with looney white nationalists in the aftermath of the 2020 elections. Oh shit—right! You don't even know white nationalists really exist! Wow. You've really never had to overhear a single conversation where white boomers fantasize about going downtown to do armed 'patrols' of black neighborhoods. By that point you'd realized you were very alone in a southern town that had already tried to off you in a multitude of disturbing ways. They weren't keen on the idea of you being queer either. I know you already know but you—yeah, you just assumed it would be easier to hide and go along with the status quo. Naaah. Nope. Not worth it. You only really wanted to do that so your parents would love you and that was a loss from the moment they put conditions on it. You could never have done enough to earn their love. They don't have it to give. That's on them though. Ok big question time: Do you still believe in god? Yes and no. Give it like... 14 times of people saying 'it's god's will' whenever something goes their way and another 20 of them accusing you of consorting with demons whenever you disagree. The pattern becomes pretty clear. Maybe you do still believe in god but definitely not your parents' god. And definitely not any god that would be on the side of empires and bigots. In fact, not any god that would let those powers claim him... if he had any power to stop them."

"But I do at least get a bunch of animals?"

"Oh yeah. Smeags is still alive. Right now I've got three dogs and a freaking horse that looks exactly like our favorite childhood stuffed animal."

"A HORSE!?"

[always-andromeda]

Meda please tell me why I keep having a dream about getting knocked up by Joby Taylor and us trying to co-parent. Like. It’s always a mess but we pull together for the kid and there’s tenderness and anger and fights (I wasn’t going to tell him about the baby he found out) and. Why. Why does my brain want this

𝐉𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: lmao poor baby stomping storm is gonna get a notification that I used one of his gifs and it's for this. I am sorry, my beloved. but I couldn't not use one of your gifs; they are too beautiful <3 also lmao thank you, delaney, for giving me an excuse to share these headcanons bc I also think about this kind of scenario all of the time. because truly. this has no right living rent free in my head.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: vague allusions to sex, pregnancy, Joby is a clueless dad (and I guess we're just eating that slop up), nothing else I can think of!

One usually doesn't try to purposely entangle themselves with Joby Taylor. Joby Taylor merely happens to you. One day you're internally groaning over how he's looking at you from under his heavy eyelids and baring that smug smile from across the bar and the next you're holding a positive pregnancy test and debating whether or not you tell him.

You decide not to. There's no reason to get him involved. He'd probably want you to get rid of it anyways, and you're not interested in that. So you go radio silent.

But Joby isn't entirely clueless. He notices how you seem to be distancing yourself. He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but when you don't answer his calls, he gets that pang of jealousy. He wonders for a moment if you might be seeing someone else.

Though he's far from being exclusive with you, something about that makes him twitchy. He likes to believe that you wouldn't need anyone else other than him. So, he becomes clingy. In an attempt to figure out why you won't see him, drink with him, or sleep with him anymore, he'll go directly to you.

And you'll never forget the dumbstruck expression on his face when he starts saying that he's been calling you for weeks, only to be caught off guard by the small bump that's forming on your belly. Now, he is intimately familiar with your body. And he knows that isn't just a pouch of fat.

Joby flies into hysterics. He'll exclaim, "Wait a second, what the fuck is that?"

Don't even bother trying to beat around the bush with him because he will straight up demand to know, "Is it mine?"

And though he hopes that the answer is no, he knows deep down in his bones that he would never be lucky enough to dodge that bullet.

When sent into fight or flight, Joby's first urge is to flee; to protect his ego. The old Joby who had never met his first child and who only cared about his career wouldn't have given a second thought before waving you off and going his own way. The easy way.

But he isn't the old Joby anymore. And as much as he loathes his truth, he resolves that he must live it regardless. For the benefit of you and this child, he'll be there.

Him being there is difficult, both for him and you.

First of all, getting him to quit smoking and getting him to drink less would be a feat. Drying Joby out is worse than most symptoms of pregnancy. Because he's stubborn, he'll insist that he needs it and only begins to soften when you remind him that you want the baby to grow up in a sober home.

Decorating the baby's room and preparing with all of the supplies you'll need, he mostly leaves that bit to you. He'd watch you paint the bedroom with a blank expression, just watching the pastel blue slowly cover over the plain white walls; a sign of the times if he'd ever seen one.

When you start to wobble on the ladder, he'll break from his trance and rush to your side, quietly chuckling about how he thought your balance would be better with the low center of gravity and everything.

You'd give him a little grimace, knowing full well that you look different now and hating that he seems to be aware of it too.

But if there's one thing that Joby doesn't struggle with, it's the way that bump grows through the months. Bodies are bodies in his eyes. He doesn't really have a preference exactly.

As long as he can still figure it out similar to how he did before you were pregnant, he'll be happy. And in that way, Joby is the most comforting through those insecurities; after all, he will never pass up the opportunity to tell you that you're not his favorite MILF before giving you a cheeky, sloppy kiss.

Actually raising the baby is the really difficult part, obviously. A life on the road with his bandmates really hasn't put him in the prime position to know what to do when the baby needs to be changed or burped or fed or nurtured in almost any way.

That leaves you teaching him as you go for the first few months. It also means that there's lots of conflicts. Not a week goes by where you're not arguing with him over him not doing his fair share to keep everything running.

The way that he apologizes is...unconventional...to say in the least. He expects you to read between the lines. Getting a verbal, "I'm sorry," takes a lot. He shows his remorse through random trips to the gas station convenience store on the corner and bringing you back your favorite snack and drink. He also shows it through offering physical touch.

Because Joby loves touching. Whether it's him rubbing your shoulders and easing the tension from your muscles with his skilled fingers or it's him rubbing a climax out of you at the end of the night; he hates the idea of you going to bed angry at him.

He'll lay in bed, watching the back of your head and wishing he had a clue what was going on in it. At least when you're relaxed under his hands, there's a better chance that there's no seeds of bitterness being sown inside of you.

That's another pill that's hard for him to swallow. He hates thinking that he's ruined your life. He's done it once before; and though Claire seemed to be just fine the last time he saw her, he'll never get over the fact that he brought life into the world and ignored it for the longest time.

Some of that guilt helps to fuel his efforts. It's what brings the deals into fruition. Because making those little promises forces him to keep his word and keeps him accountable.

"I'll clean up the baby food if you get the baby in the bathtub."

"Deal."

"How about you cook dinner and I'll do the dishes?"

"Deal."

"Let me take a nap for an hour while you play with the baby."

"Deal."

Each deal gets sealed with a handshake and maybe a kiss if he's lucky. Because at the end of the day, you're a team. You're in this thing together. And no matter what you feel for him, you're both determined to do right by this kid.

Joby does something that he never thought he'd do: he settles into a stable routine. One that doesn't include any substances or blackouts or lapses in judgment that make him hate himself. Through hard work and dedication, Joby becomes a functioning human being; a man who is actually trying his best.

And as much as he once hated the idea of planting himself firmly, he doesn't mind being potted right beside you. With the way you bloom, Joby makes sure that even during the moments where you don't like each other that much, you still respect each other. And Joby hopes that'll never change. Because maybe he didn't ruin your life. Maybe, though, you saved his.

[zeawesomebirdie]

say it like you mean it, do you trust me now? (Gunsmoke) (bingo) (early drafting) 👀 could we hear a summary?

[WIP Tag Game]

Thanks for the second ask Astro sdjhgds I'm very honoured !!!!

This is the fic I've been vaugeblogging about for the last week or so!! It has utterly possessed me, I haven't written so much in ages

General content warning for violence, mostly genre typical violence for Westerns but also major character near-death :)

This is for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Taking the Bullet." I was inspired by the Gunsmoke episode Never Pester Chester, specifically the radio version which can be found on the Internet Archive here, it's number 7 (and I'm sorry I can't seem to figure out how to link the specific episode so hopefully this is adequate??) in which Chester gets dragged out of town by a pair of cowboys and gets so badly injured that Doc isn't even sure he'll make it. The moment Matt finds out about it, he goes absolutely feral about getting Chester back to safety, and then he goes out after the two cowboys and leaves his guns behind. At the end of the episode, he tells Chester that there isn't another man he could trust more, and tbch the whole episode has various characters trying to reassure him about Chester and it's actually really an incredibly queer episode if one happens to ship Matt/Chester but anyway lmao the plot of this fic!!!

It's Chester's birthday, and Matt got him a super nice fancy watch chain and he's made sure to get all of his work done early and he even wakes up a little early so that he can make sure to give Chester the best birthday ever. He's even got the hopes of finally confessing to be in love with Chester, since Kitty's been getting after him about that for ages now, but first things first: giving Chester the watch chain

Unfortunately (affectionate) this is a Western during trailing season, and when some cowboy or another shoots off his guns in the street, Matt has to run out of the jail and stop him. Turns out, there's a new trail boss in town, just came in and everything after their herd had been rustled a few days out of Dodge. Even though Matt tries to give Chester the day off (it's his birthday after all), Chester insists on going with him to meet the trail boss, which sets them out on what seems to be a wild goose chase

One thing leads to another, and the man accused of cattle rustling (one Timothy Anderson) turns out to be the former partner of the accuser (one Vinnie Munson), and he didn't rustle that herd, he bought them to cover Munson's ass after hearing that Munson couldn't afford to pay off his cowboys. This all comes to a head when Matt and Chester bring Anderson down to the Texas Trail to face Munson, who's been drinking all day. When Matt's back is turned, Munson reaches for his gun, and by the time he's firing Matt's been pushed out of the way by Chester, who gets the bullet in the ribs instead

Munson flees, but Matt doesn't follow after him. He waits with Chester until Doc gets there, which seems like an eternity later. Then, once they're all in Doc's office and the bullet has been removed, Matt finally confesses to being in love with Chester, only for Chester to pass out again. So Matt does the only thing he can think of doing: he takes off his star and tells Kitty and Doc he's going out to kill Munson

I'm almost halfway through the zero draft at this point, and I have a fancy schmancy brand-new playlist and a moodboard for this fic now! The playlist can be found here on spotify, and it's all pop punk!!

And here's the moodboard!

[annkous]

It's time for LESSON 13!! AAAAAAAAAA

A bit of calm before another storm that's coming our way, but that's just another day in the life of MC I suppose lmao. I appreciate the break though, the last lessons were ruthless.

Lesson 12 feels!

The first thing they do is grab the theory going around of Michael being Nightbringer and unceremoniously slam dunk it into the trash can right in front of us.

Well. Screw you too.

Well, at least now we know Michael also knows about the time travel thing. Which is good to have confirmed. I don't want to say where the Celestial Realm can stick their tolerance, though. I still don't like them lol

Anyways the brothers are relieved and happy (even Belphie!! We still need to talk tho) we're awake and we get to say good morning to all of them. I found it incredibly sweet. They have many questions, but they decide to let us rest. Solomon asks us where we decide to stay: Cocytus Hall or in the guest room in the House of Lamentation.

I chose to stay in our old room. I assume if you go to Cocytus Hall you have a moment with Solomon, but I haven't chosen that one yet. If you stay in the House of Lamentation though, they'll squeeze your heart being adorable because every fucker in this house has camped out and is sleeping outside our room.

This is the cutest shit I've ever seen. I love all of them oh my god.

But we can't run away from the questions forever and the next day we meet up with Diavolo because it's our Questioning Day. We get a sweet moment first though where we learn that the previous night we somehow carried all the brothers into our room lmfao.

My important take from this is that Satan let us drag him into our room without kicking up a fuss and even pretended he was still asleep. I love him.

During the questions I was sweating bullets because Solomon did warn us that we shouldn't say we're from the future. They do give us an option to tell it though, but I decided to dodge that bullet in particular and instead be honest about the Ring of Light instead of keeping quiet. We're still pretty vague answering, but it's better than nothing. I have a feeling they'd think we're making fun of them if we say we're from the future anyways.

Diavolo's main concern is if we're even safe for the Devildom (holy shit), but the brothers try to persuade him by comparing our situation to theirs when Diavolo let them into the Devildom. However, as we know, the price to stay in the Devildom wasn't a cheap one and he calls Lucifer out for bringing it up.

None of the brothers know more beyond of Lucifer pledging loyalty to Diavolo so they drop the issue here. I have hope that maybe in this timeline they will find out about everything Lucifer gave up in order to keep Lilith and his brothers safe. Shit will go down, obviously, but it's a hurdle they have to jump through o(-<

Barbatos asks for a break since things are getting heated up. Diavolo takes his leave to calm down, and we're given the option to follow him immediately or take a little walk. I chose to take a walk and got points with Barb, so I thought we were going to leave Diavolo breathe in peace, but we end up catching up with Diavolo anyways lol

Diavolo feels bad we're worried about him and yet he's trying to give us the boot from the Devildom. This man is so conflicted and needs a break (so do we but, rip), and then someone I wasn't expecting decides to pop in after Barbatos:

MEPHISTO!!

Of course lmao PLEASE GIVE THEM CASUAL CLOTHES OR A DIFFERENT FORM SOLMARE P L E A S E

We learn a little more about the House of Lords in the Devildom, who are very unhappy about Beelzebub's rampage on the Demon Lord's Castle (oh man and we still haven't solved the why of Beel going berserk either.....) and are outright asking for his banishment, according to Mephisto. Then he decides to be an ass and talk bad about the brothers, but Diavolo politely cuts him off and walks away before Mephisto can finish lol.

We get a short one-on-one with Mephisto, who thinks we're a lesser demon and I've never once in my life since I met him have wanted to grab his cane and hit him over the head with it, but there's a first time for everything and my first time was in this Lesson.

So that's how it is huh

So once again our "verdict" gets postponed (I have a feeling it's gonna be a running thing for a bit) because of the House of Lords' demands, which apparently are worse than Mephisto let on. They basically say Beelzebub's rampage equals a declaration of war and are holding Diavolo accountable. Diavolo must go through a set of trials that test his ability to rule (and if he refuses apparently he gives up the claim to the throne, so it's a Big Thing), and if we know how Obey Me! works, we know we're gonna be the ones helping him out and that's probably how we'll win points in our favour to stay here. And that's if it doesn't end up being the whole reason for Diavolo to say "they're styaing here, and that's the end of it" since we basically help him keep his claim as future Demon King with that and that's a show of loyalty if I've ever seen any lol

However he needs his father to tell him about the trials, as it's some sort of tradition they pass down from ruler to the next one to be, but we know the King is indisposed. So does the House of Lords, so this demand is one hell of a low blow to Diavolo, but he plans on going all out on it anyways.

And as soon as he says this, the trial starts. Literally. Diavolo gets teleported away in a flash of light and there's that.

I called it lol.

It looks like it's Diavolo bonding time. He's nervous but keeping a front, and we can call him out on it, and also either take his hand, give him a pat or my favourite option in this game: give him a hug.

He calls us out again, just like both him and Barbatos did in the classroom, about how we're trying to help and being nice to them despite Diavolo trying to get us out of the Devildom. You can tell he's struggling about the whole thing. I think he wants to trust us, but we're too powerful and if we decided to turn against the Devildom, there would be big trouble. He says the possibility of us turning himself, and seeing how Lesson 11 went.......... well, it's obvious we don't want to turn against anyone. But they need a bit more of strong convincing.

The lesson ends with poor Diavolo asking why are we showing any kindness towards him or caring at all. I found it a bit sad for him, honestly. Looks like Lesson 14 will be going through the Kingsblood Crucible with Diavolo, and maybe persuade him we'd never turn against them.

The extra lesson is hilarious. I thought it was gonna be about the brothers and Barbatos after Diavolo and MC got magically whisked away for the trial, but it's instead Mephisto looking for Diavolo to give him the House of Lords' letter and running into the brothers, who are debating about what MC truly wants and if we feel obligated to stay with them after all. I wanted to give them an earful lol

They get into a fight because they get tired quickly of Mephisto provoking them, obviously. I loved the shit out of it, because he started bothering Lucifer about how he's "showing off" his wings and the brothers jumped to defend Lucifer instantly in their own way lol

LMFAO LUCI, LANGUAGE

God I love you Mammon GET HIM BABY!!

Yet another point in the "Mammon adores his older brother Lucifer over everything else". Everyone else too, but for me Mammon here dealt the strongest blow to Mephisto so he'd fuck off and leave them and Lucifer alone. Which he does after Barbatos appears to escort him away lol

That extra scene was really nice. Feels good to finish a Lesson with no strong cliffhanger, but I'm very curious about the trial, and maybe Diavolo will tell us a bit more about the Demon King. He tells us a bit in the Lesson, but it's just that he got mad at Diavolo when he tried to get the God of War's sword (who's entombed in the Mausoleum where MC is with Diavolo atm) when he was smaller. So far he seems to speak fondly of his dad, unless I'm forgetting any more details they have in the og story.

Well, there's that. Most important thing I took from here is that Michael is not Nightbringer, unless he's playing with us for some reason, but I can't think of why he'd do that. He seems to still care a bit about his brothers, and he's saved us twice and keeps an eye on us. I side-eye this guy a lot, but if his caring about his brothers is genuine I suppose I can just. Leave him be and just let him watch.

I'm still not over his quote in the new Nightmare Grimoire. There's more to him with us, but Solmare won't give us Michael crumbs yet. I hope they release his design soon because I'm DYING to see him and he's getting more and more involved with the story aaaaaaAAAA please give him long hair.

I still have to get hard mode, but I'm saving AP to try and get the costumes in Box 3... And my rng is terrible. I don't wanna use 240 hard-won points to buy Luci's and Satan's clothes, I'd rather save them for the level up offers, but I will if I'm unlucky in the boxes I guess o(-< well, good luck with your own boxes if you're hunting for them as well!

Edit: LESSONS 14-19!!

[ballplayersxo]

@ anon did you read up on Drummond? I’ve heard crazy things about him

No i havent read anything about him! Whats the tea? He is a weirdo but I thought in an innocent way

lmao not he wanted a full time care taker 😭 and tbh if you feel like you’ve got what you wanted then i don’t think it’s a fumble. can i ask why you said no tho? and what do you ultimately wanna get out of dealing with him?

I said no to living with him because a few weeks before he asked me, i had asked him what are we and he was going on a long rant about how he doesnt want to settle down soon so basically we’re nothing. his house is nice asf but whats the point of living together if he doesnt even want to date? plus ik he sees girls in cities when he leaves to travel, i have him on finsta and he will follow a girl in the city hes in then the next day block her.

LMAOOOOO he sounds so unserious 😭 i don’t think it’s a fumble at all if you wanted more than what he was offering. you probably dodged a bullet if anything

[icharchivist]

I mean, yeah, obviously, Reddit videos are harmless fun and sometimes you just want some noise while you debate whether you're gonna take a nap or not, but thanks anyway.

And yeah, looks like you'd already familiarized yourself with Somerton's thoughts then, if you already read the stuff he's been plagiarizing.

You explained that really well btw, maybe you should also do investigative journalism 🤔

But it definitely feels like you dodged a bullet. I just feel bad for people who weren't so lucky and admired and even supported these creators. That's gotta be quite a shock.

I also agree on the plagiarism discussion being in the spotlight right now being a good thing. I just hope it stays there and doesn't just disappear again in two weeks, because it is an important topic and it doesn't get less important in times of Chat GPT and such, but I'm also rambling.

It was a good video and I was thoroughly entertained and yeah, I'll keep my eyes peeled from now on. Semi-related, but Somerton is a bad person on a lot of fronts, between the plagiarism, the victim complex, setting his co-writer up as the scapegoat and the misogyny. Just an all around despicable person.

If you haven't even watched a show, don't make content on it, you stupid idiot. May he find an office job now that his career has hopefully imploded.

yeah right! i just felt the need to reassure in case, it can be so easy to beat oneself down for some silly stuff like that, i felt the need to clarify ^^

And yeah lmao, quite wild turn of event, all things considered.

And aww thank you so much! i don't know if i could ever go into investigation journalism, it demands a whole lot more research and patience than i happen to have ahah. But for what it's worth i do have two diplomas centering around researching and analysing historical texts and various media analysis (mainly literature, but also cinema in general). One of those diploma is in French (which also involved philosophy analysis) and the other is in English (which involved translation and linguistic analysis) so yeah. (while at it i also have a general art diploma that also involved art history analysis for instance). Like i don't like to brag about it and all and i still think i have many blind spots, but it's kinda why i'm passionate about media analysis and about historical integrity in general. I don't think i'm doing things super well, but as Harris says in the video, this is the typical type of skill you don't realize you have because it's a second nature to analyse the stuff you run into that way. (i did get teachers tell me that i had a natural gift for analysis and incredible insight, but i haven't recovered from that at all and if i let myself talk i'll downplay it super bad lmao but that sure was a thing) So at least i do have the desire to dig into stuff on another level, it's the way i've interreacted with media both for fun and for my studies to start with. But i'm also very lazy about sourcing, mostly because i read a lot of things, forget where i read it, and then it becomes just my base knowledge so if i want to regurgitate it i'm just like weep. what is a source. so i have no pretension of doing it professionally and i encourage people to take everything i say with a grain of salt honestly.

but yeah, i definitely feel like i dodged a bullet but i feel horrible for the people the guy scammed. Like he was stealing the work of vastly more experienced creators, and even surface levels stuff are fine because there's a first to any topic you get into - and i think he specifically appealed to people who didn't have a lot of ressources to start with, so those things were brand new for them. We can't blame people for wanting to learn. It is however shocking to see someone using this desire for his own notoriety while trampling over the rest of the community he builds himself upon while stealing from it.

I sympathize a lot with the people who did use to follow him. It's harder to see the red flags when you feel your concern heard for once in your life and you have nowhere else to expend your horizons to. I truly hope the former fans are going to be okay, and i feel so much for those who actually paid money for all of this :(

and i agree, i hope the conversation about plagiarism stays there and is actually discussed in depth. I do worry people might scapegoat Somerton so much that they forget the main point about the plagiarism complains, but it is also hasty to make this remark now as everyone is heated by the content of the videos and it's normal for now they're talking about Somerton more than not. I do hope the conversation about plagiarism remains when everything else die down though. It is an important thing in our current landscape, especially with AI, as you say, and yea, as Harris also says

shows how well you understood one of the purpose of the video that you saw this argument coming right ;D you should be proud of yourself for actually connecting the dots honestly.

I'm glad you liked the video though! truly!

And yeah Somerton is...truly problematic on various level. I do appreciate that Harris focused on the factual approach of plagiarism, the one thing people can't really go against. But the more you look into his general behavior, especially the stuff he adds when he goes off script from the plagiarism, the more it's bewildering. and honestly i feel horrible for the people he stole the words of, who had to have those disgusting addition added to their own personal experience. What a dreadful thing.

AND YEAH GOD how does he get the CONFIDENCE to talk about a show he didn't watch just from stealing from people!! and i have an imposter complex when i talk about things I HAPPEN TO KNOW VERY WELL because i'm constantly stressing out about "shit what if i misread it though"??? if anything thanks to this video for doing a number to beat down my inferiority complex. Like geez i might be an analysis fraud but at least i only engage MY OWN OPINIONS when i'm wrong! that's a win!

but i'm honestly glad to see the general reception to this video on tumblr, even from ex-Somerton fans. It shows the willingness to really look into things, the intellectual curiosity that is necessary to navigate this type of analytic corners.

I've seen a lot of Internet History fans on twitter being super mad at Harris for this video for being "an hypocrite" who "is only blasting IH because he's not a leftie" like...... tell me you didn't finish watching the video without telling me you didn't finish watching the video.... And it's bewildering to me how they're missing the plagiarism concerns because they're too busy supporting the political allignment of the guy who is accused of it.

This video is a reckoning honestly but good lord. what a mess.

[firstdeathandlust]

Lmao found out that hes actually seeing other girl(s) after our break up 🤡 what a male

Like he told me that hes gonna do drugs and fuck other women because that's "how he copes" and i see nothing but an irresponsible child that will get fuxked over down the line and he will achieve nothing in life but generational wealth and being stuck with a whore that obeys him

Im so glad i dodged a bullet even tho its not at the best time, cuz its way too late, i think it did me great because now in the midst of chaos i can handle it well

That confirmation instsntly got me over him, im already moved on and happier, id like to think that my value and worth as a person has remained the same and i still have my dignity in tact

Hes just now a thought in my head, he doesnt exist, all mutuals that we have he can have cuz they support whoever is the loudest and more interactive w them

Idc idc i am glad that its over now and my life can be better

Me lusting over other people is not the same as me acfing upon it mind, because he proved to be actionable in his sensless coping, whereas i was longing for something but i know when the time is right for my mental health and being, not to mention social status and morality

[unsurprisingly-l]

i dodged a fucking bullet

oh my god guys so the guy i was talking to. SO MUCH!!!!!

1. he was weird and pushy. i made it very clear within the first WEEK of us speaking i made it very clear that i did not want to date him, and that i liked things in the current standing. i. wanted to meet him after i finished work, so we were planning it out and whatnot and he goes “i want to pick u up from work :)” and i JOKINGLY said “my little service sub” IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY AN LMAO. and i guess. that. confused him or whatever so within the next week or so he referred to himself as “your …” something i forgot but like. “i’m your pet” but not. pet it was something else but that’s how it came across and i was like… chill out w that like you are not mine and i am not yours i said i didn’t want to date and he did it again the next week. and i repeated myself. and again. so i cut him off. 2. in the time we weren’t speaking, i was getting my fucking LIFE together and he. well. he got a haircut, went to a party™️ and had sex* with two girls within the same night and posted a bunch of new ..posts on his insta, and unfollowed me. 3. i didn’t even notice he unfollowed me, until the guilt of just. leaving him in the dark (as i would not like to have been if i were him) built up and i decided to reach out and try and apologize and take accountability. i also didn’t hold any resentment towards him or anything like that bc . i know men are just generally shit and i don’t have time to spend being pressed about a boy. so whatever i reach out to him, and we plan to meet at a park to discuss for full closure 4. the WHOLE TIME,,,,,, he was guilt tripping me and being super melodramatic and emo and cringe and UGH!!!!! . but i was Too Autistic™️ to really be affected by it so when he was like “i’ve been through so much like i’m not who i was before and things are really hard for me right now” and i was like. yeah dude me too like i’ve been at such a low point in my life as of late that the time we spent not talking i spent getting my shit together so i didn’t want to go on a mass killing spree every single day so. i feel you and also you cut your hair and posted a bunch of new posts so you obviously are on some new shit. and details details later he goes “do you think you’re good for me?” and i cringed so fucking hard but didn’t show it and i was like “…considering i don’t want to be in a relationship with you, no” and then EYE wanted to ask abt the party™️ but in like a . haha two girls in one night wow type of way not like. are you fucking shitting me dude bc i feel no possessiveness about him. but then i deemed it inappropriate and didn’t but i had already started the question with “do you..” and he said”yes.” and i was like ??? lol and he was like “i do regret.” and so . EMO and i was like “lol that was Not the question i was gonna ask” and he was like “well that’s the question i’m answering” and i was like “..okay..?” and then it got awkward and i tried to make casual convo and he was like “can we just sit in silence for like 10 mins?” and i was like “okay!” but internally i was like seriously dude this is such a waste of precious work time and kinda just looked around and eventually just couldnt take the silence anymore and started talking again and brought the tension down so we decided to just. Walk Somewhere Else so we start going and after a while of him subtly trying to flirt and me just shutting that shit down every time he asks me if he makes me uncomfortable. also for context, when we were still talking, i told him that i didn’t necessarily trust him because i Don’t Trust Men because of how many of the close ones in my life were fucked up to me so it wasnt Him it was just Men and he wasn’t unreceptive but he obviously didn’t want to hear something like that and he said he didn’t understand but it also didn’t really seem like he wanted to understand. so back to his question i said no, but i don’t really think you respect my boundaries either as you’ve already shown (couple-y pet naming thing), so i know that i can expect for you to cross my boundaries, and i’ll know what i have to do when that happens. and he goes silent and doesn’t say anything until we get to a piece of . Sidewalk with benches and he wordlessly veers off to the right towards the benches and i don’t remember the conversation leading up to it but then he CRIED???? and its not that Man Crying its that its literally not that deep bro you thought you could control me (foreshadowing) and got your ass handed to you and you’re upset as a result. and i wasn’t mean to him at all!!!! i was super nonchalant and chill the whole time because im so mature and know how to handle my emotions (hide them). but he only reached out once after that and i didn’t try to reach back out bc i reflected after and realized just how much he was guilt tripping me.

5. TODAY!! i was talking to a girl that knows him and that *sex he had with those two girls at that party, were two black out drunk girls that he definitely did not get consent from, but got head. he forced some girl to make out with him because he thought she was going in for a kiss and she was just leaning over to grab something and he just. held her in place as he tried to pull away, also a serial unsolicited jerking off video sender, plus more and just being an overall creep. so.. I dodged a fucking bullet

[michu-writes]

Red and blue | Paul x reader x Patryk Eddsworld | Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for any spelling mistakes and stuff- I am too lazy to proof read this! I hope you enjoyed this chapter tho ^_^ ! Sorry this is a bit short btw

The title still makes me cringe, so if anyone has any recommends, please tell me

Chapters: 1 | 2

(Art does not belong to me, they just look really cool lmao)

"Ready...."

"...set..."

"GO!!!!"

Just like before, your opponent ran towards you, except this time you did the same. Just as he was about to shoot, you quickly dodged the bullet and proceeded to shoot back, but he dodged them as well. You groaned and ran back at him, attempting to throw away the gun out of his hands, but he ducked and made you trip over his feet, knocking the breath out of you. You took a minute to get back on your feet, you weren't quite done yet. It's been a long time since you've been into battle like this, but you tried to stay focused. All you had to do is shoot him down to distract him, and then knock him onto the ground. You quickly reloaded your rifle and was just about to shoot... Where did he go? You looked around for a second, but got knocked to the ground from behind again.

"Oof-" you were laying on your back as Paul stood before you, looking down at you thinking he won. "Guess I-" you cut him off by kicking yours knee the hardest you could on his.... Crotch area. You yelled in pain, this is your chance! Seeing him covering his crotch, you aimed and pulled the trigger to your rifle, making him fall down with a harsh yelp. He laid there in defeat as you approached him. He looked so miserable... You giggled and held your hand out to help him up. "That was quite a plot twist, huh?" You looked at him and smirked, he avoided your eye contact, you could tell he was embarrassed.

"Good job, both of you." Patryk patted you and Paul in the shoulder and quickly whispered into the others ear; "Are you sure they need to fight us as well? They literally just passed you."

"Whatever, as long as we're done with it I guess."

"Damn, you're really FALLING for them." Paul smacked the others head. You looked at them confused, what are they talking about?

"As if you're not doing the same." Patryk widened his eyes at him, and started to have this faint red blush across his face and only shook is head.

"Alright, what are you homos talking about?"

"Homos?!?!" They yelled in unison, looking at each other before looking disgusted, yet still sharing the same type of blush.

"We're not gay. We were just talking about Paul having a cr-"

"Breakdown! Yeah... A breakdown because you defeated me and I never thought no one could do that... Haha." You looked at them suspiciously. Something wasn't right, but you couldn't put your finger into it. You just ignored it. "So, when are we doing the 2v1?"

"Yeah.... About that, we're not gonna do that." Patryk answered.

"What? Why?"

"1. We're just way too lazy for that, 2. Because fighting Paul is enough, so doing a 2v1 against us and you isn't really necessary (also the author is too lazy to write it and ran out of ideas). It'll most likely end up with you winning anyways."

"Awww, thank you! A little bit strange way to call me hot and strong, but I'll take it." You awed sarcastically, earning another flustered expression on both their faces, trying their best to hide it.

"Well, we're not wrong, are we?"

"I guess not." You smiled softly at them. Hm, you wonder what happened. You were all so cold and mean towards each other just a few seconds ago, but you strangely grew a bit more comfortable around them.

"It's getting pretty late. We can offer you a dorm here in the building just like we have, we just gotta report it to the red leader. Unless you wanna go home and get stalked by him because, you know, security and we wanna make sure you won't betray us or anything." The slightly shorter man offered. Stalked? By the red leader? No thank you, but you need your privacy even though there might be cameras set up in the dorms. Having a dorm seems way easier for you to get to work anyways, you don't wanna drive 30 minutes every fucking day just to get here. So having a dorm might be the safest option.

"I'm fine with a dorm."

"You sure? You can always change your mind if you end up regretting it."

"I'm 100% sure."

"Okay, just get your stuff and follow me."

With that, you quickly got your jacket and bag, but lucky for you you don't even have a bag with your clothes in it so you just have to wait until tomorrow to get it. But you were too tired to care, so you just followed the two men to your new dorm. You looked around, and there were security cameras in every corner of the building. It was quite overwhelming, but it is a top secret army organization, so who were you to blame? The walk to the dorms was a bit long, but you finally reached it.

"Here's your key. Just don't try anything stupid, and just call one of us if there's anything, 'Kay?" Paul dropped the key to your room onto the palm of your hand.

"I don't have your numbers though." You said as he lighted up his cigarette. "Oh yeah. Give me a second-" Paul pulled up a small note and a pen, writing down his and Pats number and handed it to you.

"Thanks."

"Mhm."

Then there was an awkward silence.

"Well- Uh- See you tomorrow, I guess?" You awkwardly opened the door and stepped in.

"Yeah.... Goodnight."

"'Night."

Patryk gave you a smile, in which you returned back and closed the door before you. What a messy and tiring day.

EXTENDED ENDING

Paul and Patryk walked through the halls towards the red leaders office, which was just in the very bottom of the building, even many meters underground, with high security everywhere. There were many thick metal doors in the way to the location which required special and complicated codes and cards to get through. Some even had invincible lasers. You need a special code to turn them off, or else you'd get cut to pieces. Then there were these detectors, if you mess up the code at least 5 times or if the detectors aren't able to detect your identity, you'll automatically get killed by sharp weapons like knives, arrows and even hard bullets that could go right through you. All these, that only Paul, Patryk and the red leader have the access to.

"Hey, Paul, what do you think boss would think?"

"About what? Y/n? I mean, he was the one who brought them here, but I do hope we'd get promoted to something big. Also that Y/n doesn't get killed, because they're actually really strong and a good lending hand for the team." The man with the cigarette grinned at the imagination. "You're already his right hand man, I hope I get to have the same privileges soon so I don't always have to be put up with your bullshit all the time." Pat said sarcastically, only for Paul to lightly push him by the shoulder.

"You already almost have the same power as I do, you just have to follow every order I tell you to do. But since I'm nice, I barely do give you any orders so I mostly just let you do whatever you want. You should be proud of that."

"I guess, whatever. Would still be sweet though. I hope he accepts Y/n anyways, I'd actually feel a bit damned if they won't make it to the army." They just arrived at the last security door, they had to enter a password to go. Just as Paul was about enter the code, Patryk stopped him. "Wait, something is different." The other looked at him confused as he looked closer to the patterns of the metal door. "You see that? That's the Norwegian royal coat of arms. That wasn't here before. Boss must've changed a few things here." He pointed on the lion holding an axe.

"What? It's just a new pattern."

"It's not just, dumbass. If he changed the pattern, he might've changed the password as well." Paul rolled his eyes and thought for a second. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, he's probably testing us or he's just messing around. He's smart, he knows we'd get caught up with his acts like this."

"Well... what could it be?" The darker haired man shrugged, gave a few minutes to think as well. "Let's think about something logical he'd put as a password. Nothing too hard, nothing too easy either." He exclaimed, the man with a scar on his eye nodded.

"Hmm... He's Norwegian, and the pattern is the lion of their symbol. What is lion in Norwegian?" Paul thought and tapped on his chin as a way to try to think better.

"How would I know? I've only studied in Norway for barely 2 years." Patryk used to study in Norway, until he met Paul and agreed om moving to the UK with him online. That's also how they met Tord (not my headcanon, I saw this in a post once and I thought it was really interesting).

"2 years and you don't know what lion is?"

"Fine, just give me a second." Patryk stood there in silence trying to dig up the word that was deeply buried inside his brain. He should've known what lion in Norwegian was, but it's been such a long time. But then he got it.

"Wait, I think it was 'løve'" His face lit up, proud of himself for the correct translation and pronunciation."

"La...Lawve? Luve-"

"Just get on with it already! What's on your mind?" Paul sighed and turned around to enter the password.

"The password requires both letters and numbers, so maybe he wrote the letters with numbers." He exclaimed as he huffed out a cloud of smoke.

"Uh, what?"

"Ugh, just look at this."

Paul entered 'D3N R0D L0V3' and about to press the OK button, until the man stopped him.

"Den rød løve?" He asked in confusion.

"Yes, notice how how their coat of arms is red? That's also boss' favorite color, he also goes by 'The red leader' and 'Den rød leder', so this has to be correct and logical. You should already know this, and you call me an idiot."

"Whatever, just enter the password already. You're just making this harder for us." Paul did as told, pressed the button and boom, "access accepted". He smirked at Patryk which just raised his eyebrow. They then opened the door, Tord was already sitting by his desk. It looked like he was waiting for them.

"Greetings, my most trusted soldiers. Seems you passed that test. God job." The caramel color haired man got up as he walked towards the other two.

"Yes, sir. May I ask why we were given such task without any warning?"

"I was testing your patients, if you were smart enough to figure it out. These kinds of situations might acure during work or battle, so it's good to be prepared." Tord patted their shoulders before turning around to face his desk which was filled with many unfilled paperwork's scattered all around, a long with a pistol and a bunch of used cigarettes.

"I see. Will we ever come across more situations like this again?" Paul asked as he lit up a new cigarette.

"I can't say. Just like you said, being aware of what will happen soon will lower your standards. You'll just have to see for yourself."

"How'd you-"

"Did you forget I have cameras almost everywhere here in the building? I'm watching every step of every member here, I will always know what will happen next." The red leader smirked and picked up his cigarette to smoke. Everyone was quiet for a second. Paul didn't really know what to say, so did Patryk as Tord was waiting for their response.

"So, was there anything else?" Tord finally broke the silence.

"Oh- Yeah! We believe Y/n would make a good soldier, sir. As you saw how they fought both of us, I think it would be a good idea to let them in." The man with the bushy eyebrows exclaimed, hoping for a good reply from his boss.

"That's up to me, huh? Say, since you both have been the best soldiers for me, and you guys just loveeee Y/n so much, I guess I can't say no." He chuckled at the way their eyes started lighting up and blush a slight shade of red. He gotta admit though, it would be great see the look on their faces if he said no though.

"Okay, we will report to them tomorrow morning."

"Good. You're dismissed, goodnight Paul and Patryk."

"Have a goodnight, boss." They nodded and turned back to leave his office.

The moment they closed the metal door, they both let out a big sigh of relief as they held onto their blue uniforms. "Holy shit, I am so relieved right now." Patryk said as he closed his eyes to calm down. "Same. Why the hell didn't you say anything?" Paul asked as he frowned. "Well I didn't wanna fuck up anything! You're his right hand man after all." He simply answered as they started walking back through the same tiring doors, which went way faster and easier this time. They were both exhausted, he didn't expect to get a new member this sudden. Besides, you were kinda... No. You have to take this job seriously, there's no time to be lovey dovey.

"I'm off to bed, I've done my job for the day. We'll meet at my dorm at 8am tomorrow, then go get Y/n." Paul planned as they were about to part their ways to their own dorms. "Sure. What will we do then?"

"We'll... Uh.. We'll see. I'm just really fucking tired right now."

"Okay.... Sleep well then I guess." He turned his back to walk through the other hallway with dorms.

"You too, see you tomorrow."

[cebwrites]

So for my request, can you write a drabble featuring Ace and Sanji with public nudity please? You can make it so they're challenged to navigate a city of your choosing in only their birthday suits without getting caught or arrested. What do you think?

this was buck wild to think of and write lmao, enjoy 💕

Streaking through the town (Ace)

exhibitionism, public nudity, gangbang, blow/handjobs, creampie word count: 0.5k

Never let it be known that Fire First Ace was a coward. He was bold, and stubborn, and never turned back from a challenge. But this- This was a little… No flames to cover it up; his bet was all or nothing.

Ace grumbles as he kicks off his shorts, ignoring the chorus of whistles and cackles from his surrounding crew, and tosses them to Deuce, who looks positively mortified. He bids them goodbye, and a few 'fuck you's, then makes his way to the rendezvous point on the other side of the island.

It's crawling with marines from a recent stunt the Spade Pirates had pulled, something involving explosives and the governor's private yacht.

A smirk stretches across freckled features as Ace ducks and weaves his way between buildings with the help of the Mera Mera no mi. His crew had said no fire to cover himself up, but they didn't say anything about using it to get around.

His cover is almost blown when Ace stops to pet a cat in an alleyway, bare ass and balls displayed to the poor unsuspecting marine that'd come across such a view.

Ace is on them in an instant, yanking them into the alleyway with him. From the look of their uniform, nothing more than a foot soldier. Feh, it's been a while and he isn't picky. They immediately go on their ardent spiel about capturing him and bringing his cruel villainy to justice but Ace only pushes the grunt's trembling rifle to the side, motioning an 'O' with his hand to indicate if they'd like something else in exchange for their silence instead.

Such ideals of justice crumble like a sandcastle in high tide.

Ace doesn't remember how long he's been here, nor has he kept track of the times he's climaxed since. At first it'd only been the one, then two more marines, and now he'd lost count. They'd relocated to a motel room for privacy and ease but there could've been a revolving door with how many people had popped in for all Ace was concerned.

The sun was setting, his crew would be worried soon.

Ace frowned (or tried to) around the cock in his mouth. Another man was riding the soul out of him and someone else below had been hitting the same spot in Ace that had him seeing stars. His body was painted in white, hands were pre-cock-upied, too, and the upstart was too surrounded by various marines jacking off to look for an exit. No good.

Just as he relishes in the feeling of being filled again, Ace spots Skull by the window, a faint glint in the distance tells him that Mihar isn't out of range, either. The message his crew are trying to give him is clear; get ready.

An older man roughly pulls his hair for not 'paying proper attention' and Ace levels a glare at him - before the marine can reprimand him further, the entire room shakes as a wall is blown clean through.

"Captain, let's get a move on already!"

Ace takes advantage of their confusion and disorientation to catch the coat Deuce throws his way and thank his lucky stars that these cum-brains hadn't the foresight to detain him with sea stone, and for his Logia fruit, as he flames his way atop other buildings, easily dodging gunfire or having the bullets go straight through him.

Well, on the one hand it could've been hot, but on the other - he's too hot to be chained down by some government lackeys.

[dinosaurtsukki]

dating the armed detective agency’s medic

a/n: of course i have to write one for the ADA even though i’m a biased port mafia bitch. there’s a bit more characters here so i’ll try to keep each one short but still very fluffy and sweet <3

this man is always getting himself injured and even though agency has yosano, fukuzawa thought it would be a good idea to hire another medic who could deal with less life-threatening injuries

ofc dazai flirts with you the first chance he gets and every time he comes into your clinic

dazai: good morning my dear belladonna! the weather is beautiful today, but not as beautiful as you of course

you: YOUR ARM IS BROKEN PLEASE SIT DOWN

although as much as he likes to slightly mess with you, dazai genuinely enjoys coming to the clinic and being treated by someone like you

he likes observing your hands and how careful they are when they bandage his arm or that cute little scrunch of your brows when you’re bandaging his forehead

while on a mission, atsushi and kunikida go the extra length to protect dazai because they know you’re worried about him 

and then one day dazai comes into your clinic again and instantly you think that something has happened

until he surprises you by bringing out a bouquet of flowers

‘if i get injured less on missions, would you let me take you out on a date?’

jokes on you though after you guys date dazai finds every excuse to visit you in the clinic

he’ll get papercuts on purpose just so he can get you to put a bandage on them 

kunikida is annoyed because dazai they’re just papercuts jfc also please go back to work

seeing that you’re always concerned about his health and well-being, dazai finds himself making much less attempts cause he knows the stress it puts on you when you have to bandage him up after and make sure he’s alright

thanks to you our man is able to take care of himself a bit more

even though he is your boyfriend he’s still going to mess with you in any way he can

he’ll barge into your office claiming that his chest hurts because you didn’t give him a kiss that morning

also will highkey hug you from behind even if you’re treating another patient

the first time he meets you is for a physical exam check-up because it was required at the agency and he feels embarrassed at first seeing that the agency’s medic was gorgeous

atsushi was fresh out of the orphanage so of course he was quite malnourished and still had some injuries from his abuse

you had no idea who’d dare hurt such a sweet boy so you do your best to treat him and instructed atsushi to come in for some follow-up check-ups

although when he comes in for that check-up he talks about how he’s been healthy because he eats a lot of chazuke and you’re like ‘oh no, no, no, please eat other things too’

you end up packing him a bento box because he’s your patient so ofc you have to keep him healthy 

the two of you run into each other a lot in the morning because atsushi tends to come in way earlier than he’s supposed to so you often find him sitting in front of the locked door

thus begins your early morning chats. atsushi’s always polite and never interrupts when you talk and you love how he shows so much interest in whatever you say

atsushi began to realize that he has feelings for you but boy is he bad at concealing them also ranpo kind of busted him in front of everyone in the agency including you

but atsushi was saved by you hinting that you wouldn’t mind going on a date with him at all and he’s ecstatic until he realizes he hasn’t been on a date before

he takes you out to a nice restaurant and insists on paying for everything

nothing much changes with your routine but atsushi likes to bring you breakfast in the morning and the two of you have little dates before going into the office

he knows how worried you get when he goes out on especially dangerous missions but he does everything he can to protect the city and the new home he found with the agency and you

this guy was one of the people, other than yosano and fukuzawa, who interviewed you for the job and you can’t forget how intense he was when it came to asking questions

of course, you answered all of them well but kunikida was very serious that you knew how dangerous it could be to be involved with the agency

there was a self-defense portion in the interview that you knew about and of course kunikida was the one who added that

to his pleasant surprise, you managed to dodge all his incoming attacks (kunikida lowkey found it hot, like that’s requirement number ten on his list checked right there)

kunikida does get injured a fair amount during missions and he doesn’t want to get dissected by yosano all the time so he goes to your clinic that’s right near the office

he likes how efficiently you work and how gentle your hands are that even when you’re stitching up his wound he almost can’t feel a thing

however, kunikida does have a bad habit of not resting for the appropriate number of days. like, even with a bullet wound he’ll still hobble over to his desk to finish his paperwork

once, he came down with a terrible case of the flu so of course you sent him home only for kunikida to sneak back into the office when he thought no one was looking

you ended up taking kunikida home but poor guy could barely do anything by himself so you took care of him too

kunikida is definitely the delirious babbling when he’s sick so he ends up talking about his list of traits for an ideal woman and how you filled out a good portion of it

when he wakes up (much more sane) he sees you reading that list on his notebook and he’s like WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

he handed you the notebook personally before passing out and kunikida can’t live it down

you: well, even if i don’t match all these requirements, would you still be interested in going out?

kunikida: yes... please

everyone can tell that kunikida’s about to go on a date because of how nervous he is the entire day

he knows how tight your schedule can be and how busy he is with with work but he always makes time to have his lunchbreak with you

loves to hear about your day and even has some space in his notebook dedicated to any interesting stories you have

the first time you met him was when he also had his physical check-up which ranpo insisted he didn’t need but fukuzawa made him so he had no choice but to follow

the entire time ranpo’s just like ‘nothing’s wrong with me, see?’ and then you do a simple dental check-up and find that he has like two cavities he didn’t want to tell anyone about it because he’s scared of the dentist *cue ranpo trying to run away and you grabbing him by the poncho*

of course fukuzawa makes him go to the dentist too but ranpo insists that you have to be the one to take him and schedule the appointment and come along

truth be told, you’ve always been pretty attracted to ranpo because you know of his skill as a detective so you were excited to have this day with him

only for you to have to physically restrain ranpo to the dentist’s chair (you even had to call kenji to help) while his teeth was getting checked

ranpo was squeezing your hand the entire time and he was fairly grumpy after the whole ordeal that he wouldn’t even talk to you until he asked if you could get ice cream

you: the dentist just told you to eat less sweets

ranpo: but i neeeeed them

you: fine, how about frozen yogurt?

after the dentist trip, you know how much of a hard time ranpo has with eating less sweets so you decide to leave fruit on his desk as a healthier alternative but he won’t TOUCH IT

after some bribery on fukuzawa’s part (’i’ll acknowledge you if you eat fruit more and also tell atsushi to give you a piggyback ride every day’) he finally concedes

he actually finds himself liking fruit so in the afternoon he’ll swing by the office just in time for you to be slicing fruit

ranpo gets over the fact that you sent him to the dentist and enjoys his time in the clinic eating fruit with you and sleeping on the cots inside

your clinic is where he hides when he doesn’t want to do work and when he pouts and asks you to say that he’s sick you can’t help but go along with it

he’s also super physically affectionate around you. will literally have his body draped over yours sometimes while you work

people start talking about how you two look good there and one time someone asked if the two of you are dating and ranpo’s like ‘of course we are!’

and you’re surprised self is about to protest when ranpo smirks at you and says ‘why? am i wrong?’

lmao ofc he’s not you’ve been struggling to keep yourself from being a flustered mess around him

he’s still clingy around you but this time he comes into the clinic every few minutes to ask for a kiss

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