#think he was dodging bullets on his way down? lmao

[reindeer-dad]

@bodycontainsahumansoul ( continued from here )

While Noelle invoked the imagery of a snowy white mage, or almost holiday angel, Rudy was all Winter King in his attire. Almost, anyway. All he was missing was a crown and a sword...

Kris pauses as well when they see that pendant the monster man wore....where had he gotten that. The human didn’t like the look of what was inside of it-

“Where did you want to go?”

They ask, the HEART in Kris’ chest urging them on to add Rudy into their party.They had to keep him safe- and find out what was going on!

“Wherever, man!” Rudy chirped an answer at Kris’s question. Then, off he went, ahead of the human, literally “hopping to it,” as he stated. His hooves clopped against tile as he jogged with a hop and a skip every two steps. The freedom of being able to use his legs after days of bed confinement brought the old man nothing but child-like glee.

Unlike Noelle, who was all caution in her explorations of the Dark World, Rudy opted to throw it to the wind. Dream or not, he was happy not being hospital-bound, even if this Dark World gave a bit of a hospital vibe.

Rudy stopped not too far in front from Kris. The reindeer couldn’t help but snicker at the sight of the sudden sharp decline of the ground he narrowly avoided... resembling an adult-sized playground slide. Sloping, seemingly, to nowhere.

The slope was comprised of slick, slippery tiles that any hooved monster couldn’t walk across without much effort. “Well, if it ain’t my mortal enemy: waxed tile!” Rudy gave Kris a mischievous grin.  What was there to lose? This was all a dream, anyways! Might as well go with the flow!

“Welp.” His mantle flapped as he threw up his gloved hands. “Surf’s up!” With a running start, he clacked onto the trail of sloped waxed tiles and slid down, down, down in a blur of red.

[mrs-hatake]

How JJK Men Hold Your Chin

Warnings: MDI!!! yandere behavior, obsessiveness, manipulation, dacryphilia, over protectiveness, human sacrifice, mentioned assassination, foul language, female reader, HUMAN!sukuna

A/N: i kinda went overboard with sukuna lmao. credits are in the pics! also, shoutout to my soulmate who encouraged me to write and publish this luv u 🥹

Toji:

Toji’s eyes shoot open when the soft rattle of the window opening fills the bedroom. Whoever decided to ambush Toji, in own home no less, is doing a piss poor job at it. The number rule of breaking and entering is that you need to be as quiet as the dead…Or make sure you aren’t breaking into a room where the occupants of the house are in. 

He doesn’t move, makes sure to keep his breathing deep and even as his ears focus on the soft thud across from his bed. The gentle rustle of feet on carpet is thundering. It makes Toji wonder which sorry idiot decided to attack him. He lies still. Waiting.

Toji senses a presence behind his back. The stare of the invader doesn’t feel oppressive but more hesitant. Big mistake. Waiting a heartbeat before striking, Toji quickly has the criminal pinned under him on the bed. A terrified screech stabs sharply in his ears, ringing like an alarm clock.

Leaning over, Toji harshly tugs on the string of the desk lamp on the nightstand. Dim yellow light floods the corner of the room where Toji’s bed is placed. 

With the darkness gone, Toji’s eyebrow quirks at the sight below him. A pair of eyes stare at him in a vacuous stupor, their lips formed into a silent ‘o’ shape. 

Toji blinks down at the frightened woman. 

She blinks back. 

Whoever sent her his way is a freaking dumbass. Aside from the fear drowning in her eyes, incompetence screamed at him. How did his enemies expect to dispose of him with someone as weak as her?

Lost in his thought, the woman raises her leg and tries to kick Toji off of her. Luckily, Toji’s reflexes are as sharp as a cat's and dodges the attack. He yanks her leg down before pressing all of his weight on it, trapping her.

“Don’t kill me.” The woman pleads and it forces Toji’s head to tilt to the side in confusion.

“You’re here to kill me.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious thing, “It’s only fair I defend myself.”

His words strike a nerve. The woman begins to frantically shake her head, jostling Toji with her movement. “Please.” She whispers repeatedly like a broken record. 

Having had enough, and with the exhaustion from today’s mission catching up to him, Toji’s large and calloused hand grabs the woman’s chin, successfully suspending her thrashes. 

The tip of his thumb is brushing the edge of the woman’s chapped lip. The two, caught in a daze, are silent. 

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you?” Toji’s voice drops to a murmur, his already deep voice growing deeper.

The woman continues to stare at him but there’s something calculative in her eyes, as if she’s determined the best course of action. Whatever she finds, melts the tension from her. Her form relaxes under Toji but he still maintains his weight on her. It could be a trap after all. Waiting for him to drop his guard down before she strikes. Toji has been in the business for so long that such a childish trick is insulting.

“I’ll tell you who hired me.” The woman's breath comes out shaken, broken.

Toji contemplates her answer before shaking his head, “Not enough.” 

His response doesn’t deter the woman. In fact, it strengthened her resolve.  “Not just the organization I work with but several of them. It’s like a betting ring.” She explains, her eyes hard, unafraid to meet him. 

Toji thinks. People wanting him dead isn’t something new but that doesn’t mean he has the free time to hunt down every single one of them. However, what the woman says next sends a chill down his spine.

“They’re coming after your son.”

Her statement is a bullet shot straight to his heart. If what this woman is saying is true, then he needs to take her word for it.

“If you’re lying,” Toji’s grip on the woman’s chin is unforgivable, “I will kill you and your pathetic family.” he spits before letting go. 

Satoru:

The woman is panting harshly as she leans against the metal pillar at the underground train station. The ruckus of the coming and goings of the people blend into the background until it’s nothing but a gentle hum. She swallows her dried throat, thick and heavy, gathering whatever moisture to nourish the muscle. The woman’s back presses against the pillar as her eyes close shut. Greedily, she sucks air into her lungs. 

Weakly, her eye opens and it darts frantically across the station until it lands on the departure board. The orange LED lights glaring harshly at her. Still, the woman squints as she reads the list and the corresponding time. Her train leaves in less than half an hour. She’s exhausted. Her legs are screaming at her from her earlier run and throat is begging for water. But the woman pushes through.

With one final deep inhale, the woman pushes herself and makes her way to the platform where her train will arrive in ten minutes. 

The woman hasn’t taken a single step forward when a voice wells up a wave of acid deep from within her belly. 

“Found you.”  A voice she once associated with reverence has her recoiling in horror.

Inchmeal, the woman turned.

Gojo Satoru is standing in front of her. Despite the gentle smile on his lips, Satoru’s blue eyes are as wild as a stormy sea, raging and fervent.

A blink and Satoru’s hand is cupping the woman’s cheek in a tight embrace. She winces at the pain, reaches her hand to wrap around Satoru’s wrist and tugs it away to no avail. 

“Oh, Y/N,” Satoru sighs as if she is some naughty child, “It’s cute that you think you can run away from me.” 

The woman’s eyes pleads Satoru, begs him to let her go, set her free, but Satoru is blind. 

With a powerful pull, Satoru yanks the woman into an embrace. His muscled arms trapped her in an unbreakable cage. 

“Let’s go home.” Instead of Satoru’s whisper resembling a kitten’s soothing licks, it feels like a spider crawling up her throat.

Nanami:

Warm hues of orange and pink spreading across the sky is the last thing the woman sees before her eyes shut close. She doesn’t scream as she falls to her death. Her descent is calm, freeing in a morbid sense. Though the curse is still rampaging the abandoned hospital, terrorizing the second year students, the woman accepts her demise with a serene smile. 

The impact she has been embracing for doesn’t come to her. Well, not in the way she had imagined numerous times whenever the woman is sent off on a mission. Instead, a firm but pliable object breaks her fall. 

Cinnamon and black coffee invades her senses. A roaring heartbeat echoes in her ears but before the woman can open her eyes, she is gently put on her feet.

“How can you be so careless?” A voice growling in her direction forces the woman’s eyes to open.

Blinking the black spots from her vision, the woman lifts her gaze from the ground to where Nanami Kento is standing just a few feet away from her. His muscles are stiff and his lips are pressed together in anger.

Oh shit.

“What were you thinking?” Kento continues, uncaring of how his voice is increasing in volume but the woman is shell shocked. Not from the fall but from the fact that, in the years she has known Nanami Kento, is losing his cool.

“I’m fine.” The woman sighs in exhaustion as her hands dusts her outfit free of dirt. She notices in her peripheral vision the second year students delivering the final blow to the curse spirit, their cheer turning into horrified groans when the curse exploded into tiny little pieces and it covered them with neon green goo. “I had it under control.”

Kento rolls his eyes, “Like hell you were.”

Worn out and oddly hungry, the woman turns away from her livid colleague. “I don’t have time for this.” she mutters.

“We’re not done talking.” Kento calls after her but the woman doesn’t meet his dark eyes, raging with an uncontrollable fire.

Just as the woman is turning to leave, Kento’s massive hand cups her chin and forcefully pulls her to face him.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Kento seethes through clenched teeth. His thumb on the apple of her left cheek presses deeply into the supple skin, almost bruising.

The woman’s jaw clenches, the muscles flexing underneath Kento’s fingers on her right cheek. Her piercing gaze is unyielding but Nanami Kento doesn’t back down.

“Don’t you dare do that again.” Though Kento’s tone is cold and disapproving, the woman hears the concern loud and clear. 

“Answer me.” He barks with the authority of a man who should not be challenged. 

“I won’t.” The woman responds in a strained voice. 

Geto:

The woman’s eyes are large and rimmed with tears as she meets irises colored in vibrant amethyst.

The man returns her gaze with feigned kindness and condescending pity. His hands cupping her cheeks are warm and they light a fire in her belly. His thumbs are slightly rough with callouses but they are gentle as they wipe away stray tears. Soft lips kiss the woman’s forehead, their velvety touch is soothing, imbued with a delicate tenderness that has the woman melting like putty in his arms. 

“Now, be a good little girl and do as you’re told.” Geto Suguru’s voice is rich with sweetness and has a velvety timbre, resembling a bitter drink with traces of sugar. It has a propitiating quality to it that embraces the woman in a sense of tranquility.

“Suguru.” The woman hiccups, vision blurred with unshed tears. 

Suguru coos, the sound echoing that of a mother worrying over her child after waking up from a nightmare. He leans in, slowly and tenderly as if to not frighten her off, and licks each tear trail from each cheek.

“Suguru?” The woman sputters, her eyebrows furrowing in bewilderment as she tries to process what just happened. 

Though the soft smile Suguru gives her radiates warmth, there’s a subtle glimmer in his eyes that hints at something the woman can’t recognize but it fills her with dread. 

“There, there.” Suguru whispers gently, his hands still cupping her cheeks. His fingers are wet with tears but the fact doesn’t bother him.

“This will all be over soon.”

Sukuna:

Sukuna’s hibernation is interrupted by cacophonous ceremonial chants reverberating from the forest below.

Year after year, Sukuna has reprimanded the villagers for their never ending harassment. They mistake his cursed lineage as an entity to protect his village when, in reality, the Ryomen clan was cursed by the Gojo clan three hundred years ago for violating the peace treaty because one member from the branch family decided to be a cocky little shit and terrorize humans and now Sukuna has to suffer the consequences. 

Every first day of spring, the villagers leave animal caracases at the mouth of his cave to satiate his hunger. When that didn’t work, the villagers sent wooden crates filled to the brim with glimmering gold coins and a crown decorated in sparkling diamonds to persuade Sukuna in blessing their harvest. Stupid villagers and their stupid myths. If they had bothered to open a history book, they would have discovered that Ryomen Sukuna is just as human as any of them. The only difference is that part of the Gojo clan’s punishment was to inject every member of the Ryomen clan with poison into their bloodstream that altered their genetic composition. Instead of having two arms and two eyes like everyone else, the Ryomens now have four arms and four eyes. Oh, and an additional mouth on their belly.

A satisfied moan falls from his mouths when his muscles pop as he stretches his four arms high into heaven. Scratching his side with one of his hands, Sukuna trudges to the mouth of the caves and watches with complete boredom as those fools travel the winding path leading to his habitat. Glancing at the sun, Sukuna figures it’ll take them another hour before they arrive. 

When the villagers do arrive, they wordlessly leave their sacrifice at the cave entrance and leave, just as silent and unnerving. 

With nothing better to do, Sukuna humors the villagers and steps out of his stifling home.

Despite it being early spring, the weather is still warm but the air has a certain bite to it. Not enough to warrant thicker garment but enough to appreciate the cool breeze caressing Sukuna’s skin.

Stepping outside, Sukuna comes to a sudden halt. His four eyes blink before they glance around the forest, searching for a glimpse of the villagers who will explain what this year’s present is. 

Below him, just a few meters away from his feet, is a woman lying on her side. She is dressed in all white and her hair is fixed in a complicated updo. Gems dangle with each blow from the wind and Sukuna’s nose picks up the hints of honey and vanilla.

Sukuna’s thick fingers massage the spot between his eyes while his two arms cross in front of his stomach, pressing against his mouth.

Great, just great. Those idiots brought him a human sacrifice this year for whatever fucked up reason. Sighing, long and heavily, he picks up the unconscious woman and carries her into his cave.

It’s around nightfall when Sukuna hears soft groans coming from his bed. His upper right arm is stroking the fire to life while his lower right arm throws wood into the fire pit. His stomach has been growling for the past hour and his tongue keeps licking the curve of his belly button. If Sukuna will ever have the chance to fight the infamous Gojo Satoru, he wants to inject him with the same poison just so he can understand the hell Sukuna’s been through. 

“You’re awake.” Sukuna’s voice cuts into the night air, deep and smooth. 

The woman freezes on the bed and takes a moment to gather her thoughts before pushing herself into a sitting position. 

When the woman turns to face him, Sukuna’s two pairs of red eyes roam over the woman’s face that’s painted with soft makeup to enhance her beauty. 

“Greetings, Sukuna-sama.” The woman greets him in a luscious voice, no doubt a skill taught to her by the elderly women of the village. Sukuna resists rolling his eyes at their stupidity. Instead, he tosses the iron rod aside and saunters to his bed. 

Though the woman bows her head in submission, her form lowered in a beautiful arch, Sukuna can see her trembling in her place. After all, Sukuna cuts an intimidating figure. Not just with his additional limbs and eyes but also with his height; totaling at two hundred centimeters. It's a small wonder she is frightened. 

An index finger that is as long and slender as the iron rod hooks under the woman’s chin and tilts it upward to face him. 

A soft hum emits from Sukuna, “The villagers have outdone themselves with this year’s sacrifice," his finger glides down her neck, "heh, they must be desperate to please me.”

The woman says nothing. Her eyes are lidded and they are clouded in something that Sukuna cannot discern but they add to her charm. Flames flicker to life in Sukuna, sparking intense desire that burns through him like wildfire.

“I’ll take good care of you.” Sukuna vows, his voice lowering into a hummed whisper, each word heavy with yearning and licentiousness.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

...okay but, how funny would it be to see a Hazbin Hotel vs Supernatural crossover fic

Neither side is killable, permanently, for different reasons

Lucifer making a 'seriously, this guy?' gesture between Castiel and Dean

Pissing off overlords by trying salt and holy water on them. It hurts, but not enough to stop them from retaliating, lmao

------

Charlie trying to redeem/negotiate with them for a non-violent solution/compromise as she (with the help of Vaggie, Angel, Husk, Alastor and her father) persistently side-steps, ducks, dodges and is blantantly portalled/shadowed out of the way of their fists, blades and bullets.

"Charlie, get away from them, I think they might be rabid... hunters aren't usually this persistent when they fall into Hell." Lucifer cautions, grabbing her through a portal and yanking her to the other side of the room. His still smiling daughter's expression tightens with determination as she strides back over.

Angel yanks her to the side to dodge a spray of bullets.

"Toots, c'mon, you can't be serious... they're tryin' t'kill us!" he bemoans, using all four hands to try and keep her behind the couch. Losing focus briefly to snatch at the giggling red blur that ran past on her way to annihilation (though Niffty would say her goal was to Meet the Bad Boys)...

Charlie slips free and pops back out, hands outstretched in welcome. "Hello, I thought maybe you didn't hear me before but I'm Charlie! This is my Hotel, and it's lovely to meet you... I know sometimes the fall in can be a bit traumatic and people react..." she bites her cheek trying to think of a good way to phrase it, "...not great. But it's okay! You're safe here in these walls."

"Babe, look out!" Vaggie tackles her and throws her wings up in a shield as holy water splashes across them. It burns, but not as badly as it would have to Charlie... she'd never let these bastards hurt her morningstar.

Red flickers in Charlie's eyes as she takes in the pain in Vaggie's expression. She cups the ex-orcist's cheek, warring with her instinctive need to murder the men, and did a few quick breaths.

There was a slicing, gagging noise as something whipped by overhead. When Vaggie's sizzling wings unfurled, Husk was hurling cards at the hunters, aiming anywhere that had a sliver of flesh free. It was a testament to his restraint that the avian feline wasn't using his explosive dice.

But Charlie stood by her No Explosive Ordinance in the hotel rule, except in times of war. And this? Was nothing compared to an extermination... and besides, she knows new sinners can be... confused, frightened and lash out.

Then her dad is there, his hands fall to Vaggie's wings, pulsing soft gold light across the feathers to remove the traces of the holy water, and healing what was damaged. There were now patches in those lovely wings where the feathers would grow back, but-... No, no she needs to take a deep breath and not kill them.

Angel is just about caging Niffty in his arms to prevent her eager attentions on the men.

"Oh, I see we accquired guests while I was out... how... intriguing." Alastor says, materialising close enough for his tendrils to curl about two human throats and lift them from the floor. One can't be too offensive with their weaponry when one is choking to death, ha hah!

"Wait, Al, don't hurt them they're just scared new sinners! I was trying to calm them down!" Charlie surges to her feet, Vaggie slipping into her father's arms as he helped the other ex-angel upright. She waves dramatically at the hotelier in the hopes he might pop them back down on the floor so they could peacefully resolve this.

Alastor blinks at her, his menacing expression showing genuine confusion from behind the ever-present smile. His head tilts sickeningly. "My dear... are you under the impression that these two are not, in fact, still alive and somehow down in the Pit with us? Because I'm afraid I have some rather entertaining news otherwise."

That drew her up short, and she really took a moment to look at the men who had crashed into the hotel gardens a few minutes before. Okay, in her defence, sometimes sinners looked nothing like human when they landed... and other times, they looked almost too-human. She'd never even registered the visual cues, having been so excited and concerned about counselling new souls who might be revisting death trauma.

Second chances starting from the moment they arrived, what better chance at redemption? Later, she might feel guilty about putting her agenda first over their mental health and wellbeing needs, but until then... she can push it down into a tidy ball of confusing emotions that sat neatly shelved in her heart. Right next to the fear her mother would never call back and the crushing weight of feeling she abandoned her father in a time of need.

Hah, take that anxiety! She had a SYSTEM for managing her worries and it made her so exceptionally mindful and well-adjusted!

"Hey, put us dah-argh-down y-you techno-freak..." choked the shorter of the two, using a blade to hack at the tendril around his throat. Alastor's expression deepened into dislike at the sensation, and decided perhaps Charlie would forgive him eating a live human just this one time...

"Whyever would I do that, my good man? From what I can surmise in but a brief glance, it appears that you burst into our fine establishment and injured several of my colleagues, when all it appears they were doing was trying to help you..." he seemed to consider something Niffty was saying in her giggling high-pitch. "And apparently, either murder or sleep with you... in the case of my dear little Niffty. It is in your interest to work with us here to work out whatever is happening here and-..."

Microphone static blasted through the air as the taller one managed to complete the majority of an exorcism under his breath. Though, given that Alastor was already very much in Hell, the spell didn't really know what to do except force his form to glitch as runes spiralled for a moment. It did have the effect of the pair being inadvertently released.

"That... was exceptionally rude." Alastor growled, antlers branching, but they paused as Charlie stepped in between them, his focus falling to the fact she was in the direct line of threat. Even had it not been written into his deal, he would protect this infuriating little princess from herself and her bleeding heart because of the entertainment she brought him... and if that coincided with a burgeoning sense of not-distaste he felt for all the hotel members, well, so be it.

She was breathing hard, flickers of her horns and tail appearing as she tried to maintain calm in the face of her friends being under fire and two of them being actively injured by these... human men who were in hell somehow?

With a deep breath, she exhaled the rage. Her expression falling into her open smile, just like Al had said, disarming and a cheery show of good faith as the other emotions brewed violently beneath.

"Okay, let's try this again. My name is Charlie, and I'm sorry that this has happened to you, I'm sure it's very confusing and frightening to find yourselves in Hell as living humans. We... don't really have any sort of precedent for this kind of thing... so we'll need you to work with us to fix this."

"Cute, but we're not buying that schtick, princess rainbows. Last time we trusted a demon, a lot of people died... including her. So let's cut the shit and be real here, we've killed a lot of your kind over the years, so whatever freaky bullshit quirks you lot got going on? Bring 'em. We're going to end you anyway."

"De-... uh, hey look, maybe they could... help? I don't think this is... the right place." said the taller one, who seemed to be slightly less cynical as he gazed at Charlie's expression.

"Sa-... hey, don't you start that again. Look what happened with Ruby, and Crowley, and the vampires and the werewolves, and all the others up there we tried to partner with. You wanna go cuddle up with the possessed doll over there or... the radio wendigo thing I'm staring down? Be my guest. Cas'll just put whatever's left back together."

"You make a good point, but... you also sound like Dad. Just... think on it, maybe."

"Sa-... man, you'd best be shutting the fuck up and getting out the Thing in the next three seconds or I will blast you full of rock salt."

"Kinky!" Angel slaps a free hand over his own mouth, silently cursing himself.

That threw the shorter one off a bit. "What?"

"Hah, just ignore Angel he's a... character! Just trying to lighten the mood a little because everyone's super tense. And, let me be clear, if you ever hurt someone here again, I will not be so welcoming... you just threw the equivalent of acid on my girlfriend, so I'm sure you understand that I'm feeling a little tense."

"Yeah, well have you considered that all of you are six foot plus with weapons and some sort of anime bullshit level magic, so it's fair to assume that you don't have good intentions? And in our line of work, someone always gets torn apart screaming with those kinds of odds." 'De-' snarls in her direction. He's clearly sizing them up, working out where they can go from here, angling himself between them and the taller man behind him.

"Do you really think that gun blazing is the best strategy in hell? Why, you and your lovely... I'm assuming younger and taller, brother, must have experience with the supernatural to be so very assured of your victory. Or did you intend to go out guns blazing?" Alastor asks, subtly pooling his shadow at Charlie's feet in case she needs a quick exit.

Vaggie is on her feet and moving slowly towards them, her spear to hand, trying to provide protection but not provoke any... stupid reactions. Armed men with twitchy little hands are always a threat; even if their weaponry won't kill permanently.

"Anything to rid the universe of a few more supernatural nightmares." the shorter one shrugs, nonchalant despite the fact he's holding a shotgun at the Princess of hell herself. The taller one's expression is slightly conflicted, but in an instant, it hardens. Whatever the pair have lived through, it shows in how quickly the brothers collaborate in a tight space.

"Sorry, I'm sure you're all... great... and if we hadn't been screwed over a dozen times already, we'd try to partner up and go full scooby-doo on this mystery. But," the taller one shrugged, revealing a fist full of Something a split-second before he hurled it. "You don't live this long as a Hunter if you're not a paranoid, ruthless bastard sometimes."

Granules of blessed salt just barely graze Charlie's skin before she hurtles downwards into a dark void, only to tumble out and land on top of Vaggie a few feet away. The pair rolling away across the floor from the momentum. Alastor shadow-stepped away swiftly, but not fast enough to prevent parts of his suit and skin from sizzling.

He throws a pointed glance at Charlie. "Now may I eat them?" he says in a too-jovial voice, the radio filter hiding all but the barest hint of a strain. "I think I shall marinate them in cursed spices, just for a hint of ironic seasoning."

"Nooooooo, nope. I think we could get through to them, they-..." she gasps as a sharp bang echoes, and the small shadow shield is torn apart by scatter-shot rocksalt, embedding in her skin, as well as that of anyone in her vicinity.

Lucifer's wings shield them from the next blast, as the taller one starts his odd chant again. Alastor and Lucifer appear to be losing their temper, if her dad's horns and the sudden army of shadow poppets swarming the Hunters is anything to go by.

"...is anyone I actually care about injured?" Lucifer asks, looking over Charlotte with desperate eyes, seeking the traces of blood spattered on her form and finding minor wounds. It hadn't hit her with full force... but it Burned wherever it toucher.

Almost as bad as angelic steel. Charlie bit back a number of choice curse words as she felt angelic magic wash over her in waves, brushing off the residual and closing the injuries.

Dad hadn't had to try so much healing in one day since the... since the Battle. She didn't think he'd slept this week either, so that probably wasn't good for him to be overexerting himself like this. Could an ex-seraphim be hurt by rocksalt or whatever made the other granules blessed?

His wings sparkled with it.

Vaggie tried to brush the King off, insisting it was simply a little uncomfortable, she was fine. He repeated his actions with her, anyway.

Charlie was mentally calculating how they could get through to these men... or if she might have to just let her hotelier and weird sort of parentish figure eat them, and call it a night... when Angel cried out.

"Niff, NO!"

Husk made a grab for her, but she was beelining right for the salt, intent on cleaning it up. Poppets changed route to intercede her as Alastor's eyes went full radio dial, body partially elongating so he could snatch her up before anyone took a shot.

She was, at least, ensconced in a large hand when a rather odd angelic light blasted into the foyer and sent pain radiating through the bodies and charred retinas of all present.

"Please refrain from touching the humans under my protection." said a very unsual voice, it was slightly too clipped, as if it had all the right intonations available but hadn't yet worked out how they were used. "I am not afraid to force-bless someone into purgatory... and you would not like it there, I assure you."

Lucifer, the only one not affected, moved to the forefront of the group and stretched out his wings to blot the light from those he could. Angel was shielded by the couch, Husk yanked down beside him as the feline's furr began to singe.

Vaggie and Charlie tucked behind Lucifer's grandiose figure, and a shrinking Alastor found himself next to them with a stunned Niffty in his arms. Pupil a pinprick and body dormant.

Charlie's eyes went wide in panic, reaching out a hand, but he caught it before she made contact and shook his head. "She will be alright, this... happens sometimes, when something frightens her."

Vaggie seems at a loss of where to go from here, the light... felt wrong. It was from Heaven, but not... like any she knew. It didn't feel like their Heaven, it was... not a cheap imitation, but like going for another brand of the same cordial. The... taste was off.

Lucifer must have noticed, too. But all the sinners could do is wait in his literal shadow as the light began to dwindle to nothing.

Niffty curled into a ball, arms around Alastor's throat, and it was a testament to their bond that the overlord didn't fling her clear across the room for invading his space. Although, he did take care to ensure she was not touching anywhere still dusted with salt.

Angel was staring intently at Niffty, clearly worried and anxious for the 'crazy broad' as he liked to refer to her. They had a weird sibling dynamic going on, and it must have been positive ennough that Alastor had yet to interfere in such a matter.

Charlie had taken to assuming it was a sign of burgeoning camaraderie in he hotel, and trust forming. Even if unsaid.

Niffty twitched slightly, as he ran a small circle on her back, repeating the motion several times whilst looking directly at the porn starlet. Then, Alastor passed Niffty across to Angel with his undamaged tendrils, leaving her to the care of the more-concealed pair.

Charlie blinked, zeroing back into whatever had been happening on the other side of the feathered wall.

"...must say that I wouldn't think that a pair of humans could cause such an impact on my little realm, but boy howdy did you two try your damndest. Pun intended." Lucifer's tone is light, but there's a threat below it that can be felt. Like the rumble of distant thunder, it set nerves alight without really notifying the brain of Why it was suddenly considering flight as an option.

"You have my apologies for any trouble caused, Lord Lucifer." said the third surprise guest, apparently the one behind the light and likely an angelic creature in his own right. Well, Charlie was assuming He because of the voice, but she would apologise if incorrect... some angels didn't really understand the whole gender thing. Made before it existed and all.

"Hey, don't you go apologising to that thing, Cas!" grumbled what sounded like the shorter hunter. "Just smite it and let's get out of here, we were tracking a rougarou about to turn before we got here. Someone's fucked if we don't take it out in the next 18 hours."

"Dean, please... just, let Cas handle it, okay? We both trust he knows how to fix this or has some idea on how we get home... so just, let him do his thing." the taller brother replies, suddenly the voice of reason despite all the chaos he caused earlier.

"...fine."

"I am Castiel, from a Heaven that I do not believe is attached to this universe. This Hell, also, is alien to me and not something I recall as correct... I traversed the one in our own universe to retrieve both the Winchesters at different times, for different reasons. You cannot imagine how exhausting Hunters can be under your charge."

"Oh... I have some idea how infurating handling a bunch of overconfident once-humans can be, yes." Lucifer grins back, he was likely picturing several of the hotel residents and staff right now. "But I believe you are correct, none of you have the right..."

He seemed to fumble for a human equivalent of the song-like warble that echoed unsaid. "Ah... I think we can go with 'resonance' for now, its the closest I can get to the concept. If the universe if a symphony, you three are discordant notes twanging amongst the rhythm and flow; not enough to destabilise the orchaestra, but enough to gain notice."

"Will this put you at odds with your Heaven? I am willing to explain the situation to them as needed to avoid further conflict."

There startled 'hah!' seemed to have come from many mouths behind Lucifer. He folded down his wings and threw a pointed glare at the current and former overlords, his future daughter-in-law and one Mr Dust.

"I'm afraid that nothing would calm them down if they assumed this was somehow intentional." Lucifer shrugs. "Heaven sends exterminators every year on a set day to kill sinners permanently in great numbers, for their own enjoyment. If they got a hint of you being here, they'd find a way to twist it into a declaration of war."

"They... what?" gasped the taller one.

"Okay but why... if this Hell is meant to be eternal torment, why kill off the people suffering?" the shorter of the two asked.

"Entertainment. Bloodlust. The smug superiority of those in power trying to ensure no rebllious uprisings. Why not?" Alastor intones in his best narrator voice. "Why, the Princess here led quite the counter-offensive in the last little skirmish, and managed to take out the head Exterminator. Quite the show!"

"And now we're stuck waiting to find out how we get punished for defending ourselves." Vaggie growls, clutching her spear tighter. "So when random humans come storming in with demon-killing items strapped to every inch of them and try to kill the Princess despite her friendly welcome... you can imagine the rest of us won't take too kindly to that."

"It's okay Vaggie... we're okay. They were just scared, like I said... and now it's fine!" Charlie enthused, false cheer propping up her waning smile as it started to hurt. "We're not mad... but please don't do that again!"

"Correction, my dear, I'm quite peeved and as you know it's always easier to heal when one is full..." Alastor suggested, eyeing the pair as he clicked his neck to the side with a sickening crunch. "It's been a while since we had non-sinner flesh available..."

He laughed, indicating his intentions were merely to frighten rather than act upon them. Charlie was getting used to the way her weird hotel family would deflect from pain or fear or difficult emotions.

Vaggie would overwork herself and take blame for everything.

Angel would push himself to flirt at everyone and not say no to anything, even when sober, or be too friendly.

Husk would emit an aura of Fuck Off that stopped you several feet away, and get silently wasted beyond belief.

Alastor... well, he was a showman, not unlike her dad, so she'd noticed that both of them would ramp up the casual cheerfulness and sniping when they wanted to conceal something.

Niffty would clean until she fell over and fall into panic otherwise, if things were too clean.

Charlie knew she had tells too, and the others were getting good at spotting them too. She'd have to work on that.

Either way, the Overlord's skin was still smoking, but he hadn't made a move to crush off the excess or anything. Just... sat there, with them, waiting to see where this would go.

Husk did mention Overlords, whom she didn't know many of outside of Rosie and Alastor and... ugh... Valentino, would try to misdirect you if they were half a torso making threats, rather than ask for aid. She didn't... ever want to know how Huck'd known that. It sounded... visceral.

"Please do not attempt to eat my humans, I am rather attached to them." Cas replied, not getting the hint.

Lucifer rolls his eyes. "Ignore serial killer bambi here, he won't eat you because I'm going to find a way to send you back towhichever Earth is the correct one for you... shouldn't be too difficult now I've honed in on your resonance signatures. Feels like you came here from a universe about two to the left of here, and... oof, yeah, it's radiating ridiculous amounts of supernatural energy. You said these creatures were loose on your earth?"

"Indeed, even moreso now Purgatory was breached and the creatures therein unleashed." Cas confirmed.

"You can get us home?"

"Pretty sure... been a while since I opened anything beetween universes, but you two brought your own angel across the veil, which means I only have to partially open it in conjunction with his own powers. Should bounce you right back home." There's a pointed pause. "But, if it doesn't work, or you ever find yourself back here, word to the wise..."

His demonic form blazed with hellfire as the room dimmed and the oppressive sensation of Power emmanated like a shockwave. "Don't you EVER think to point a weapon at my daughter or her loved ones again or I will tear you into atoms that will scream across the cosmos until Judgement Day!"

Even the additional angel shrank back at that threat, knowing the threat to be possible... and something one would never wish to experience.

Charlie felt her heart thrum in a sort of horrified joy, the idea that her dad was protecting her and her people, even if he didn't really believe in her goal of redemption...

Oh!

"Thank you Dad, I'm sure they learned their lesson." She soothed, jumping up to walk towards the hunters again, who cleverly avoided raising their weapons at her this time. "Hi, I'm Charlie and what I wanted to tell you about before was this project of mine here at the Hazbin Hotel. I'm not sure what your world is like, but here our Hell is bursting at the seams after all this time, that's when the exterminations started... but I believe that eternity is a long time and souls can change for the better. So I made this hotel to help souls work towards redemption, and get into Heaven!"

"That's... uh.... nice." The taller one half-smiled, unsure what to do with his face.

"And how's that working out for you?" the cocky one shot at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, we aren't quite there yet... but! It's an alternate goal for mass murder each year, every year, sooooooo... we're going to keep at it!" She enthused, her aching smile fixed in place.

"Well good luck with that one, sweetcheeks. Probably takes a lot to get a demon to Heaven, but you seem... pretty determined." the shorter one relented, after an elbow to the side. Charlie briefly wondered what it was like having a sibling like that...

Angel Dust leaned over the back of the couch. "Hey, Short King, can you pause the portal because I think you might take away the chance for a little multi-universe collaboration if they go too quick. "

Husk smacks Angel with his wing, knocking the other out of his allegedly seductive posing. "Hey, stop trying to bang weirdoes who try to kill us, I'm standing right here, man..."

"Oooh, Whiskers, you gonna-..." whatever truly intriguing wordplay he was about to utter is paused by Niffty jerking back to sapience in his lower arms. "Niff, ya okay!"

"I'm fine, I just went to the quiet place in my head where the screaming doesn't go!" she smiled, squeezed Angel once more and wriggled down to go to Alastor. "Hi Sir, you're hurt, can I clean the salt now?"

"No, dear. I know you enjoy pain, but the angels have done something to the salt to make it... not the fun kind of pain, I think you'd be quite disappointed in the experience. how about you oversee the poppets cleaning it up, hmm?"

"Aw... well, okay." She scurried off rapidly to boss about several poppets of varying sizes struggling with a broom and dustpan combo. "No no no! Pick up each grain by hand and put it in the tray!"

"...as I was saying, if Cas...tiel, was it? It's what I can read in your... resonance. If Castiel wouldn't mind sending a bit of angelic light over here, when I give the signal, then I can bend it towards the right universe when I open a portal. And if anyone I care about, and probably also bambi because MY daughter likes you, could get behind my wings to avoid being deep fried..."

The wings popped back out, and the sinners congregated behind them, including Niffty when she was brought over by several directed poppets.

"Samuel and Dean Winchester, Castiel... it has been a bizarre and upsetting visit to have you here. However, I hope you return home safely... and if you should ever fall back into my realm, recall your manners." Lucifer says, as blinding light fills the room, tinged with a blue not of his own making.

"How did you-...?"

"He's the Devil, Dean, he probably can guess your least favourite flavour of skittles if he tries hard enough..." Sam murmurs. "Thank you... and sorry about... everything. We're going now!"

Castiel remains silent, but the shadows indicate Lucifer nodded at the other angelic being before the light snapped away.

"Well, that was weird as fuck for a Wednesday night, even for this place." Angel exhales, as Lucifer turns to face them. "Hey Short King, if you ever wanna leave them out, give em some air, I wouldn't be opposed... looks soft as fuck, and all fancy like that."

A strip of gold races across Lucifer's cheeks. "Oh, uh... thank you, Angel... but... they're a tad impractical and the doors around here are beuilt to accommodate height not width."

"Just saying..."

"I wish we could have talked them down properly." Charlie can't help the pout forming. "I need to work harder on helping forget that professional therapeutic connection more effectively... I might need to handle something like this again, with newer sinners."

"Nonsense, Charlotte... any threat you cannot talk down, I will eat or your lovely paramour Vaggie will impale... assuming your father can't reach it first! Ha ha ha hah!"

"Hate to agree, but... yeah." Vaggie shrugs, smiling. "I'd kill for you... die for you, but I still refuse to eat sinner eat for you no matter how much you want to be polite to Rosie and Al."

Charlie let out a startled laugh. "Okay, fair!" she grinned, rubbing their noses together.

"Well, now that mess has concluded," Alastor added, rising and brushing his clothes off, "there are a few intriguing things from the Overlord meeting today that I simply must share with you, Charlotte. There has been some... discontent raised about the hotel, despite the victory over the exorcists."

Charlie frowned. "Of course they'd find a way to turn our victory into a bad thing..." she sighed. "Sure, Vaggie and I will come to the office in a minute. Is everyone else okay? Niffty?"

There were several verbal assents of various levels of mentally traumatised but physically okay... before she exhaled in relief. With a tilt of her head, she asked her dad to follow them to the Office, this might... need his weight... around managing the overlords.

As the door clicked closed behind them all, Charlie felt her composure break. "What the ffuuuuuuuuuuuck was that, dad? Since when were there other universe? How did they get here? How did you send them BACK? Could we help them? You said their world was dangerous!"

Lucifer held up a hand. "Hey, hey duckling, breathe... please... listen, there's other universes alongside ours. The boundaries are far stronger than those holding heaven, hell and earth apart... but sometimes the wrong magic, or the right magic, depends on how you look at it... can blow a hole in it. Like how people refuse to use the front door but come through the side wall all the time. Best way to fix it is to put the missing thing from that universe, back through and slap some strong magic over it. Closes it right off."

"And Charlie..." Vaggie adds, taking her lover by the hands. "I don't think we could do much to help the humans there right now... we saw what two frightened hunters could do, imagine more of them coming across us, a handful of demons, they'd kill us or do far worse because of the way their world works. We'd never get to finish your speech about redemption... plus, they have their own angel. I'm sure they're fine."

"I... yeah, probably. I just want to help."

"We know you do, that's why we love you, Charlie..."

The sappy moment was ruined by the sound of furniture being hurled across the room before Lucifer managed to pin the other with a particularly deft move involving all his wings. The overlord's poppets it at the king, but he ignored them.

"Stop squirming, you're worse than Charlie was as a little kid! Just stay still for a second and I can get this off you, 'cause I know it hurts like angelic steel pressed against the flesh." Snarls the King, pulsing golden light across the green-tinged form clearly disgusted at the sheer aount of touch occurring against his will. "Hey, almost finished, chill out or I'll have to knock you out... maybe carry you past the others, for the hell of it. Angel could get some pictures of-..."

"Dad! Hey, you could try asking before you force help on people..." she tried to admonish, but it wasn't really going to stop or censure anyone at this rate.

"Get. Off." Alastor growled, ears back.

"Oooh, scary... also, no. And if you're a good deer, I'll deal with that little fuck-up bleeding through your shirt, so how about you just settle down for aminute while I fix this? Okay? Okay." The King replied, prodding at the growing stain. "Yikes, feels like... Grace. Gross. Anyway, who did you ay was threatening my daughter?"

There was a long silence before Alastor ground out a brief summary of the meeting he'd attended. How the Vees had convinced Zeexi and that flaming skull headed overlord that Charlie's actions had placed all of Hell in danger, and they were admidst running a slander campaign against the hotel as they spoke.

"I do not understand social media that way some of you do, but I believe that the influence of Velvette will make it hostile to anyone associated with the hotel shortly. You may wish to 'lock it down', as Rosie suggested, however one accomplishes that."

Charlie put her head in her hands, "Of course. Of course they'd see a victory and turn it into some random failure to push their own agenda... it's that angelic security thing all over again, isn't it?"

"Babe, we'll get through this. Just... put up some more wards and your dad and Alastor will keep us safe. The Vees won't cross Lucifer himself, not even Valentino's that stupi-..." There was a considering pause. "Okay, not a good example... but Vox isn't dumb, he'd keep the moth on a leash. Still, we can handle this."

"...there, bellhop, you wanna say thanks for all that first aid?" Lucifer sighs, rlling his shoulders and hopping up, letting the overlord dissolve into shadows to reform upright away from the ex-angel.

"You have done a remarkable job with your non-consensual healing, little majesty, thank you for that."

"You're welco-... wait, what? No, don't call it that!"

"Why waht else could you cal-...?"

"Nope enough of that shit. Charlie is tired and had a big day too, we'll deal with your magical wand measuring nonsense later, okay? For now, please... just try to get along? Sounds like things are about to get worse, interdimensional visitors aside, so let's... just talk calmly and think it over tonight." Vaggie says, the voice of reason.

"Fine."

"As you wish."

----------

As the quartet spoke, Niffty was carefully instructing several poppets to place the salt into a large padded envelope with meticulous handwriting addressing it to one CEO of Voxtech on the front.

She giggled, recalling the quiet instructions down the chain.

Mr Vox must have been a Not Good Bad Boy at the meeting today, but that was okay... he was going to get a gift of Pain to make sure he was a Good-Bad boy next time to Mr Alastor.

She absently dropped in a dead rat as well, as an extra present.

Niffty loved her job.

[looseinthecatroom]

Soooo little late, but between Oops and MMMS, noticing Ozzie do a little elbow nudge to Fizz when Verosika is dragging Blitz's performance in bed hits a bit different.

So like, there's probably a very high chance Fizz would have returned Blitz's feelings if he had delivered his letter, yeah? Or heck, maybe Fizz just clocked Blitz's crush when they were young.

Either way, I can't help but read this as Ozzie having a good idea what went down, and going "Lmao. See Fizzy? You dodged a bullet."

(How much DOES/did Fizz talk about Blitz to Ozzie, what with him "living rent free in his head", do y'all think? >.>

Also do you think Blitz's side eye here is due to particular embarrassment at being called out in front of his first crush specifically? Obviously he's not embarrassed to be called out in front of Stolas. Stolas can judge his performance in bed for himself. >3>)

[watermelinoe]

So i've never been fond of the "urgh I'm a bi woman who loves girls but I'm stuck with this crusty guy 🙄" thing because i view it as juvenile and disrespectful to the person you have chosen to be in a relationship with but I've mostly only seen it online.

But I went to the club with some girls this past weekend and one of the women in our group not only brought her bf out with us but then hit on me right in front of him and did the whole bit about "omg you're so much hotter than my man, if I was singly rn, can't believe I'm stuck with this dude." We were standing about 2 feet away from him.

Girl if you hate him that much, why are you dating him and why did you bring him

This isn't really related to anything specific you've posted I just wanted to rant about it. I'm also a bi woman in a straight relationship and it dropped my jaw to think of behaving so contemptuously to my partner. Like she treated being attracted to me as a big joke/not real and not like she just offered to cheat on her bf while he stood a few feet away

the curse of bi women dating extremely crusty worthless failmales deserves a dissertation honestly ....

basically bi women are socialized not to pursue relationships with women seriously and i will explain how i could have become this woman if it wasn't for finding radblr

and this isn't to excuse this behavior exactly (not that i actually care if a bi woman puts down her shitty bf and knows she's out of his league bc in my experience these dudes think they're god's gift to women) bc it's disrespectful to other ssa women

and it's like okay every stereotype of the cheating bi woman who always gravitates to a man bc that's the only "real" relationship to her (and this btw does absolutely help to explain why bi women have the highest rates of IPV) is because of socialization

i was fascinated with lesbian relationships from a young age, i was a tomboy, i gravitated towards stories where women and girls fell in love with each other, i made OCs in lesbian relationships. i was aware that people could be gay, although in live-action media i had never seen lesbians, only gay men. i didn't know anyone who was gay or bi.

it genuinely did not occur to me that being with another girl was something that could happen to me in real life. idk how to explain this disconnect, bc i absolutely thought about kissing my female friends and what it would be like, but as far as i knew i was the only person who felt that way in real life.

meanwhile, boys actually did like me, did pursue me, and i accepted thinking i would eventually "get" what having a boyfriend was about, and this should probably help illustrate why i questioned my sexuality for so long (i was never boy crazy, always uncomfortable if a boy liked me, and the thought of dick was not appealing to me lmao) but i was in love with the same boy my entire childhood who treated me like shit (a pattern later but anyway) and if i were five years younger i'd be all in on the split attraction model but bullet dodged, i am just bi and i like being bi now

in many cases having a boyfriend is just something that happens to girls, and it becomes a habit that you can't break. it didn't happen to me, but i watched so many amazing girls twist themselves into knots for complete losers, because they couldn't be single, they didn't know how.

and all these girls know is the male gaze. the kind of bisexual men want women to be. and there's no incentive to take your attraction to women seriously because no one else does, because you're supposed to be with a man anyway, but you might resent it. i think that woman is probably filled with resentment.

i was in college and i found radblr and i found women who wanted to be with women and i realized it was real and that there might be women who wouldn't feel disgusted if they knew i wanted them. but a lot of bi women never have that moment, they only explore their sexuality through content made for men and through some greasy boyfriend

so anyway she sounds like she sucks but also i feel like bi women are uniquely punished for perpetuating the patriarchy in a way that, say, straight women are not

[mbrainspaz]

Christians going "Yeah I'm christian, go ahead and persecute me! I'm used to it!" is so sad and funny at the same time. Especially in America. You're not gonna get that from me hun. Like I'm gonna waste my energy talking to christians after I had to spend a decade deconstructing my own faith. Either you'll figure things out eventually or you'll double down until you're fully entrenched. As long as you leave non-christians alone that's your business.

I know if some burned out queer cowboy hobo had told 20 year old christian kid me what their adult life was really gonna be like...

"kiddo, I know you're a vaguely nationalist christian fundamentalist now but just wait until every aspect of your blessed social order fails you and you spend a little time homeless. Oh—you thought you couldn't be homeless if you just worked hard enough? Honeyyy. Your first 'christian' bosses won't even give you lunch breaks even though they live in mansions with their trophy wives. You got a degree so you could sell their scammy fake diet pills and live on instant potatoes with hot dog bites and sleep on the floor by the fireplace in your first drafty apartment like it was 1813. Also you have mental illnesses. Spoilers. No, you can't just power through ADHD. Yes it is a real thing. So is the family history of chronic depression your dad hasn't told you about yet. You think that's bad? Wait until he disowns you during the pandemic. Don't worry about the pandemic yet, but yeah, that's how you ended up homeless. Why didn't you just buy a house? With your christian husband? Ohhhh. Ooooof. Well let's gloss over the next few economic disasters but basically you're gonna nearly marry a guy next year until he loses his temper and destroys your trust. It's for the best though because he kinda turns into one of those right wing gun nuts a few years down the road. Dodged a bullet there! Literally lmao. Oh you... you want to know why you didn't become a missionary? So the church actually doesn't let 'single women' do mission work. Yeah... yeah it is to stop you from leading the single male missionaries astray. You kind of already knew where that was going. Don't worry, the misogyny only gets more blatant from here. Just wait until you're 25. Hey, remember how fun it was to sit with your parents in church? You get to do that for so many more years because there are no other unmarried 20-somethings in fundamentalist churches. If you leave and go to a different church your dad will disown you. He does that like 6 times though, so it does lose its sting. What were the other times? Um... okay so it was 'going to a church he didn't like,' 'being too single,' 'not praying enough' (don't ask me to explain that one, I'm still confused), 'having too many pets that might scare away the men,' and 'not voting for trump.' Oh! By the way, if you get a chance to go to a state fair and throw tomatoes at that guy in say... mid 2015, don't pass that up. You'll regret it. Especially while you're stuck living on a ranch with looney white nationalists in the aftermath of the 2020 elections. Oh shit—right! You don't even know white nationalists really exist! Wow. You've really never had to overhear a single conversation where white boomers fantasize about going downtown to do armed 'patrols' of black neighborhoods. By that point you'd realized you were very alone in a southern town that had already tried to off you in a multitude of disturbing ways. They weren't keen on the idea of you being queer either. I know you already know but you—yeah, you just assumed it would be easier to hide and go along with the status quo. Naaah. Nope. Not worth it. You only really wanted to do that so your parents would love you and that was a loss from the moment they put conditions on it. You could never have done enough to earn their love. They don't have it to give. That's on them though. Ok big question time: Do you still believe in god? Yes and no. Give it like... 14 times of people saying 'it's god's will' whenever something goes their way and another 20 of them accusing you of consorting with demons whenever you disagree. The pattern becomes pretty clear. Maybe you do still believe in god but definitely not your parents' god. And definitely not any god that would be on the side of empires and bigots. In fact, not any god that would let those powers claim him... if he had any power to stop them."

"But I do at least get a bunch of animals?"

"Oh yeah. Smeags is still alive. Right now I've got three dogs and a freaking horse that looks exactly like our favorite childhood stuffed animal."

"A HORSE!?"

[zeawesomebirdie]

say it like you mean it, do you trust me now? (Gunsmoke) (bingo) (early drafting) 👀 could we hear a summary?

[WIP Tag Game]

Thanks for the second ask Astro sdjhgds I'm very honoured !!!!

This is the fic I've been vaugeblogging about for the last week or so!! It has utterly possessed me, I haven't written so much in ages

General content warning for violence, mostly genre typical violence for Westerns but also major character near-death :)

This is for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Taking the Bullet." I was inspired by the Gunsmoke episode Never Pester Chester, specifically the radio version which can be found on the Internet Archive here, it's number 7 (and I'm sorry I can't seem to figure out how to link the specific episode so hopefully this is adequate??) in which Chester gets dragged out of town by a pair of cowboys and gets so badly injured that Doc isn't even sure he'll make it. The moment Matt finds out about it, he goes absolutely feral about getting Chester back to safety, and then he goes out after the two cowboys and leaves his guns behind. At the end of the episode, he tells Chester that there isn't another man he could trust more, and tbch the whole episode has various characters trying to reassure him about Chester and it's actually really an incredibly queer episode if one happens to ship Matt/Chester but anyway lmao the plot of this fic!!!

It's Chester's birthday, and Matt got him a super nice fancy watch chain and he's made sure to get all of his work done early and he even wakes up a little early so that he can make sure to give Chester the best birthday ever. He's even got the hopes of finally confessing to be in love with Chester, since Kitty's been getting after him about that for ages now, but first things first: giving Chester the watch chain

Unfortunately (affectionate) this is a Western during trailing season, and when some cowboy or another shoots off his guns in the street, Matt has to run out of the jail and stop him. Turns out, there's a new trail boss in town, just came in and everything after their herd had been rustled a few days out of Dodge. Even though Matt tries to give Chester the day off (it's his birthday after all), Chester insists on going with him to meet the trail boss, which sets them out on what seems to be a wild goose chase

One thing leads to another, and the man accused of cattle rustling (one Timothy Anderson) turns out to be the former partner of the accuser (one Vinnie Munson), and he didn't rustle that herd, he bought them to cover Munson's ass after hearing that Munson couldn't afford to pay off his cowboys. This all comes to a head when Matt and Chester bring Anderson down to the Texas Trail to face Munson, who's been drinking all day. When Matt's back is turned, Munson reaches for his gun, and by the time he's firing Matt's been pushed out of the way by Chester, who gets the bullet in the ribs instead

Munson flees, but Matt doesn't follow after him. He waits with Chester until Doc gets there, which seems like an eternity later. Then, once they're all in Doc's office and the bullet has been removed, Matt finally confesses to being in love with Chester, only for Chester to pass out again. So Matt does the only thing he can think of doing: he takes off his star and tells Kitty and Doc he's going out to kill Munson

I'm almost halfway through the zero draft at this point, and I have a fancy schmancy brand-new playlist and a moodboard for this fic now! The playlist can be found here on spotify, and it's all pop punk!!

And here's the moodboard!

[annkous]

It's time for LESSON 13!! AAAAAAAAAA

A bit of calm before another storm that's coming our way, but that's just another day in the life of MC I suppose lmao. I appreciate the break though, the last lessons were ruthless.

Lesson 12 feels!

The first thing they do is grab the theory going around of Michael being Nightbringer and unceremoniously slam dunk it into the trash can right in front of us.

Well. Screw you too.

Well, at least now we know Michael also knows about the time travel thing. Which is good to have confirmed. I don't want to say where the Celestial Realm can stick their tolerance, though. I still don't like them lol

Anyways the brothers are relieved and happy (even Belphie!! We still need to talk tho) we're awake and we get to say good morning to all of them. I found it incredibly sweet. They have many questions, but they decide to let us rest. Solomon asks us where we decide to stay: Cocytus Hall or in the guest room in the House of Lamentation.

I chose to stay in our old room. I assume if you go to Cocytus Hall you have a moment with Solomon, but I haven't chosen that one yet. If you stay in the House of Lamentation though, they'll squeeze your heart being adorable because every fucker in this house has camped out and is sleeping outside our room.

This is the cutest shit I've ever seen. I love all of them oh my god.

But we can't run away from the questions forever and the next day we meet up with Diavolo because it's our Questioning Day. We get a sweet moment first though where we learn that the previous night we somehow carried all the brothers into our room lmfao.

My important take from this is that Satan let us drag him into our room without kicking up a fuss and even pretended he was still asleep. I love him.

During the questions I was sweating bullets because Solomon did warn us that we shouldn't say we're from the future. They do give us an option to tell it though, but I decided to dodge that bullet in particular and instead be honest about the Ring of Light instead of keeping quiet. We're still pretty vague answering, but it's better than nothing. I have a feeling they'd think we're making fun of them if we say we're from the future anyways.

Diavolo's main concern is if we're even safe for the Devildom (holy shit), but the brothers try to persuade him by comparing our situation to theirs when Diavolo let them into the Devildom. However, as we know, the price to stay in the Devildom wasn't a cheap one and he calls Lucifer out for bringing it up.

None of the brothers know more beyond of Lucifer pledging loyalty to Diavolo so they drop the issue here. I have hope that maybe in this timeline they will find out about everything Lucifer gave up in order to keep Lilith and his brothers safe. Shit will go down, obviously, but it's a hurdle they have to jump through o(-<

Barbatos asks for a break since things are getting heated up. Diavolo takes his leave to calm down, and we're given the option to follow him immediately or take a little walk. I chose to take a walk and got points with Barb, so I thought we were going to leave Diavolo breathe in peace, but we end up catching up with Diavolo anyways lol

Diavolo feels bad we're worried about him and yet he's trying to give us the boot from the Devildom. This man is so conflicted and needs a break (so do we but, rip), and then someone I wasn't expecting decides to pop in after Barbatos:

MEPHISTO!!

Of course lmao PLEASE GIVE THEM CASUAL CLOTHES OR A DIFFERENT FORM SOLMARE P L E A S E

We learn a little more about the House of Lords in the Devildom, who are very unhappy about Beelzebub's rampage on the Demon Lord's Castle (oh man and we still haven't solved the why of Beel going berserk either.....) and are outright asking for his banishment, according to Mephisto. Then he decides to be an ass and talk bad about the brothers, but Diavolo politely cuts him off and walks away before Mephisto can finish lol.

We get a short one-on-one with Mephisto, who thinks we're a lesser demon and I've never once in my life since I met him have wanted to grab his cane and hit him over the head with it, but there's a first time for everything and my first time was in this Lesson.

So that's how it is huh

So once again our "verdict" gets postponed (I have a feeling it's gonna be a running thing for a bit) because of the House of Lords' demands, which apparently are worse than Mephisto let on. They basically say Beelzebub's rampage equals a declaration of war and are holding Diavolo accountable. Diavolo must go through a set of trials that test his ability to rule (and if he refuses apparently he gives up the claim to the throne, so it's a Big Thing), and if we know how Obey Me! works, we know we're gonna be the ones helping him out and that's probably how we'll win points in our favour to stay here. And that's if it doesn't end up being the whole reason for Diavolo to say "they're styaing here, and that's the end of it" since we basically help him keep his claim as future Demon King with that and that's a show of loyalty if I've ever seen any lol

However he needs his father to tell him about the trials, as it's some sort of tradition they pass down from ruler to the next one to be, but we know the King is indisposed. So does the House of Lords, so this demand is one hell of a low blow to Diavolo, but he plans on going all out on it anyways.

And as soon as he says this, the trial starts. Literally. Diavolo gets teleported away in a flash of light and there's that.

I called it lol.

It looks like it's Diavolo bonding time. He's nervous but keeping a front, and we can call him out on it, and also either take his hand, give him a pat or my favourite option in this game: give him a hug.

He calls us out again, just like both him and Barbatos did in the classroom, about how we're trying to help and being nice to them despite Diavolo trying to get us out of the Devildom. You can tell he's struggling about the whole thing. I think he wants to trust us, but we're too powerful and if we decided to turn against the Devildom, there would be big trouble. He says the possibility of us turning himself, and seeing how Lesson 11 went.......... well, it's obvious we don't want to turn against anyone. But they need a bit more of strong convincing.

The lesson ends with poor Diavolo asking why are we showing any kindness towards him or caring at all. I found it a bit sad for him, honestly. Looks like Lesson 14 will be going through the Kingsblood Crucible with Diavolo, and maybe persuade him we'd never turn against them.

The extra lesson is hilarious. I thought it was gonna be about the brothers and Barbatos after Diavolo and MC got magically whisked away for the trial, but it's instead Mephisto looking for Diavolo to give him the House of Lords' letter and running into the brothers, who are debating about what MC truly wants and if we feel obligated to stay with them after all. I wanted to give them an earful lol

They get into a fight because they get tired quickly of Mephisto provoking them, obviously. I loved the shit out of it, because he started bothering Lucifer about how he's "showing off" his wings and the brothers jumped to defend Lucifer instantly in their own way lol

LMFAO LUCI, LANGUAGE

God I love you Mammon GET HIM BABY!!

Yet another point in the "Mammon adores his older brother Lucifer over everything else". Everyone else too, but for me Mammon here dealt the strongest blow to Mephisto so he'd fuck off and leave them and Lucifer alone. Which he does after Barbatos appears to escort him away lol

That extra scene was really nice. Feels good to finish a Lesson with no strong cliffhanger, but I'm very curious about the trial, and maybe Diavolo will tell us a bit more about the Demon King. He tells us a bit in the Lesson, but it's just that he got mad at Diavolo when he tried to get the God of War's sword (who's entombed in the Mausoleum where MC is with Diavolo atm) when he was smaller. So far he seems to speak fondly of his dad, unless I'm forgetting any more details they have in the og story.

Well, there's that. Most important thing I took from here is that Michael is not Nightbringer, unless he's playing with us for some reason, but I can't think of why he'd do that. He seems to still care a bit about his brothers, and he's saved us twice and keeps an eye on us. I side-eye this guy a lot, but if his caring about his brothers is genuine I suppose I can just. Leave him be and just let him watch.

I'm still not over his quote in the new Nightmare Grimoire. There's more to him with us, but Solmare won't give us Michael crumbs yet. I hope they release his design soon because I'm DYING to see him and he's getting more and more involved with the story aaaaaaAAAA please give him long hair.

I still have to get hard mode, but I'm saving AP to try and get the costumes in Box 3... And my rng is terrible. I don't wanna use 240 hard-won points to buy Luci's and Satan's clothes, I'd rather save them for the level up offers, but I will if I'm unlucky in the boxes I guess o(-< well, good luck with your own boxes if you're hunting for them as well!

Edit: LESSONS 14-19!!

[maristellarium]

(thonking just the slightest bit to myself about yully's og setting again - bc sure, while most of it might not really be relevant anymore after her secret reincarnation shenanigans, it's still one of the many experiences she has and had and occasionally takes a moment to analyze like some scientist under a microscope or something lol

anyway! thinking again about her parents!!

yully's parental background in her og setting is. Interesting. partly bc its still an eternal wip, and partly bc what i Currently have going for her is. lmao. flower's dramatic backstory tendencies are too powerful to stop i guess......................)

as of my current notes - in her og setting, yully is not from a very well-off background. she was an unexpected birth for a young, single and unmarried woman who wasn't anywhere near prepared to start a family, mentally or financially, but nonetheless tried her best to raise yully in spite of the sheer difficulties.

yully, being the ridiculously sharp child she was, observed and understood the circumstances. and from trying to practice the human tradition of exchanging obligations and filial duty, yully tried her best to basically keep out of her mother's way - took on any chores, tried to find more efficient ways to manage their money and lifestyle, and help her mother live a more comfortable life.

as for the father.............. well, he peaced out of the equation before yully's mom even realized she was pregnant.

and anyway, yully discovered that he was probably super shady to begin with so maybe there's a dodged bullet there.

not that it stopped her from trying to see if she could figure out who her father was and maybe try to get some support from him anyway. while she was an iddy bitty kid who really shouldve just been focusing on coloring doodles in her books. (alas, she already memorized the multiplication and division tables in like, hours, so she had a lot of free time and an awfully tired mother working several shifts and jobs and who couldn't always be paying attention to her.)

long story short on that, yully did end up finding out who her father was (a criminal) and whether he'd be willing to offer even a smidge of support of any kind to her family (nope. but he was very frankly amused to see what amounts to a toddler breaking into his hideout and asking for child support to be paid, so he tossed her a few Forbidden Secrets and then kindly escorted her out aka let her actually leave and didn't silence her or her mother).

anyway! this is why yully does not give a shit about her father, and with her reincarnation into babylonia, similarly could care less about her biological parents here either.

to her, the only person she sees as a parental figure - and is worthy of being called as much - is her very tired and unfortunate mother, who despite being prone to breaking into crying fits and wallowing miserably and needing her own child to give her pep talks and do all the household chores for a few weeks, nonetheless is Trying, and despite her misery, has never stopped caring for yulia.

her mother is not the best or perhaps even a good mother by any means. but she's the one who raised her first, and despite the ups and downs, keeps trying to raise her with care. yulia considers that to be an exemplary form of what parenting should be - love, despite all logical reason mandating abandonment.

[ballplayersxo]

@ anon did you read up on Drummond? I’ve heard crazy things about him

No i havent read anything about him! Whats the tea? He is a weirdo but I thought in an innocent way

lmao not he wanted a full time care taker 😭 and tbh if you feel like you’ve got what you wanted then i don’t think it’s a fumble. can i ask why you said no tho? and what do you ultimately wanna get out of dealing with him?

I said no to living with him because a few weeks before he asked me, i had asked him what are we and he was going on a long rant about how he doesnt want to settle down soon so basically we’re nothing. his house is nice asf but whats the point of living together if he doesnt even want to date? plus ik he sees girls in cities when he leaves to travel, i have him on finsta and he will follow a girl in the city hes in then the next day block her.

LMAOOOOO he sounds so unserious 😭 i don’t think it’s a fumble at all if you wanted more than what he was offering. you probably dodged a bullet if anything

[icharchivist]

I mean, yeah, obviously, Reddit videos are harmless fun and sometimes you just want some noise while you debate whether you're gonna take a nap or not, but thanks anyway.

And yeah, looks like you'd already familiarized yourself with Somerton's thoughts then, if you already read the stuff he's been plagiarizing.

You explained that really well btw, maybe you should also do investigative journalism 🤔

But it definitely feels like you dodged a bullet. I just feel bad for people who weren't so lucky and admired and even supported these creators. That's gotta be quite a shock.

I also agree on the plagiarism discussion being in the spotlight right now being a good thing. I just hope it stays there and doesn't just disappear again in two weeks, because it is an important topic and it doesn't get less important in times of Chat GPT and such, but I'm also rambling.

It was a good video and I was thoroughly entertained and yeah, I'll keep my eyes peeled from now on. Semi-related, but Somerton is a bad person on a lot of fronts, between the plagiarism, the victim complex, setting his co-writer up as the scapegoat and the misogyny. Just an all around despicable person.

If you haven't even watched a show, don't make content on it, you stupid idiot. May he find an office job now that his career has hopefully imploded.

yeah right! i just felt the need to reassure in case, it can be so easy to beat oneself down for some silly stuff like that, i felt the need to clarify ^^

And yeah lmao, quite wild turn of event, all things considered.

And aww thank you so much! i don't know if i could ever go into investigation journalism, it demands a whole lot more research and patience than i happen to have ahah. But for what it's worth i do have two diplomas centering around researching and analysing historical texts and various media analysis (mainly literature, but also cinema in general). One of those diploma is in French (which also involved philosophy analysis) and the other is in English (which involved translation and linguistic analysis) so yeah. (while at it i also have a general art diploma that also involved art history analysis for instance). Like i don't like to brag about it and all and i still think i have many blind spots, but it's kinda why i'm passionate about media analysis and about historical integrity in general. I don't think i'm doing things super well, but as Harris says in the video, this is the typical type of skill you don't realize you have because it's a second nature to analyse the stuff you run into that way. (i did get teachers tell me that i had a natural gift for analysis and incredible insight, but i haven't recovered from that at all and if i let myself talk i'll downplay it super bad lmao but that sure was a thing) So at least i do have the desire to dig into stuff on another level, it's the way i've interreacted with media both for fun and for my studies to start with. But i'm also very lazy about sourcing, mostly because i read a lot of things, forget where i read it, and then it becomes just my base knowledge so if i want to regurgitate it i'm just like weep. what is a source. so i have no pretension of doing it professionally and i encourage people to take everything i say with a grain of salt honestly.

but yeah, i definitely feel like i dodged a bullet but i feel horrible for the people the guy scammed. Like he was stealing the work of vastly more experienced creators, and even surface levels stuff are fine because there's a first to any topic you get into - and i think he specifically appealed to people who didn't have a lot of ressources to start with, so those things were brand new for them. We can't blame people for wanting to learn. It is however shocking to see someone using this desire for his own notoriety while trampling over the rest of the community he builds himself upon while stealing from it.

I sympathize a lot with the people who did use to follow him. It's harder to see the red flags when you feel your concern heard for once in your life and you have nowhere else to expend your horizons to. I truly hope the former fans are going to be okay, and i feel so much for those who actually paid money for all of this :(

and i agree, i hope the conversation about plagiarism stays there and is actually discussed in depth. I do worry people might scapegoat Somerton so much that they forget the main point about the plagiarism complains, but it is also hasty to make this remark now as everyone is heated by the content of the videos and it's normal for now they're talking about Somerton more than not. I do hope the conversation about plagiarism remains when everything else die down though. It is an important thing in our current landscape, especially with AI, as you say, and yea, as Harris also says

shows how well you understood one of the purpose of the video that you saw this argument coming right ;D you should be proud of yourself for actually connecting the dots honestly.

I'm glad you liked the video though! truly!

And yeah Somerton is...truly problematic on various level. I do appreciate that Harris focused on the factual approach of plagiarism, the one thing people can't really go against. But the more you look into his general behavior, especially the stuff he adds when he goes off script from the plagiarism, the more it's bewildering. and honestly i feel horrible for the people he stole the words of, who had to have those disgusting addition added to their own personal experience. What a dreadful thing.

AND YEAH GOD how does he get the CONFIDENCE to talk about a show he didn't watch just from stealing from people!! and i have an imposter complex when i talk about things I HAPPEN TO KNOW VERY WELL because i'm constantly stressing out about "shit what if i misread it though"??? if anything thanks to this video for doing a number to beat down my inferiority complex. Like geez i might be an analysis fraud but at least i only engage MY OWN OPINIONS when i'm wrong! that's a win!

but i'm honestly glad to see the general reception to this video on tumblr, even from ex-Somerton fans. It shows the willingness to really look into things, the intellectual curiosity that is necessary to navigate this type of analytic corners.

I've seen a lot of Internet History fans on twitter being super mad at Harris for this video for being "an hypocrite" who "is only blasting IH because he's not a leftie" like...... tell me you didn't finish watching the video without telling me you didn't finish watching the video.... And it's bewildering to me how they're missing the plagiarism concerns because they're too busy supporting the political allignment of the guy who is accused of it.

This video is a reckoning honestly but good lord. what a mess.

[firstdeathandlust]

Lmao found out that hes actually seeing other girl(s) after our break up 🤡 what a male

Like he told me that hes gonna do drugs and fuck other women because that's "how he copes" and i see nothing but an irresponsible child that will get fuxked over down the line and he will achieve nothing in life but generational wealth and being stuck with a whore that obeys him

Im so glad i dodged a bullet even tho its not at the best time, cuz its way too late, i think it did me great because now in the midst of chaos i can handle it well

That confirmation instsntly got me over him, im already moved on and happier, id like to think that my value and worth as a person has remained the same and i still have my dignity in tact

Hes just now a thought in my head, he doesnt exist, all mutuals that we have he can have cuz they support whoever is the loudest and more interactive w them

Idc idc i am glad that its over now and my life can be better

Me lusting over other people is not the same as me acfing upon it mind, because he proved to be actionable in his sensless coping, whereas i was longing for something but i know when the time is right for my mental health and being, not to mention social status and morality

[unsurprisingly-l]

i dodged a fucking bullet

oh my god guys so the guy i was talking to. SO MUCH!!!!!

1. he was weird and pushy. i made it very clear within the first WEEK of us speaking i made it very clear that i did not want to date him, and that i liked things in the current standing. i. wanted to meet him after i finished work, so we were planning it out and whatnot and he goes “i want to pick u up from work :)” and i JOKINGLY said “my little service sub” IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY AN LMAO. and i guess. that. confused him or whatever so within the next week or so he referred to himself as “your …” something i forgot but like. “i’m your pet” but not. pet it was something else but that’s how it came across and i was like… chill out w that like you are not mine and i am not yours i said i didn’t want to date and he did it again the next week. and i repeated myself. and again. so i cut him off. 2. in the time we weren’t speaking, i was getting my fucking LIFE together and he. well. he got a haircut, went to a party™️ and had sex* with two girls within the same night and posted a bunch of new ..posts on his insta, and unfollowed me. 3. i didn’t even notice he unfollowed me, until the guilt of just. leaving him in the dark (as i would not like to have been if i were him) built up and i decided to reach out and try and apologize and take accountability. i also didn’t hold any resentment towards him or anything like that bc . i know men are just generally shit and i don’t have time to spend being pressed about a boy. so whatever i reach out to him, and we plan to meet at a park to discuss for full closure 4. the WHOLE TIME,,,,,, he was guilt tripping me and being super melodramatic and emo and cringe and UGH!!!!! . but i was Too Autistic™️ to really be affected by it so when he was like “i’ve been through so much like i’m not who i was before and things are really hard for me right now” and i was like. yeah dude me too like i’ve been at such a low point in my life as of late that the time we spent not talking i spent getting my shit together so i didn’t want to go on a mass killing spree every single day so. i feel you and also you cut your hair and posted a bunch of new posts so you obviously are on some new shit. and details details later he goes “do you think you’re good for me?” and i cringed so fucking hard but didn’t show it and i was like “…considering i don’t want to be in a relationship with you, no” and then EYE wanted to ask abt the party™️ but in like a . haha two girls in one night wow type of way not like. are you fucking shitting me dude bc i feel no possessiveness about him. but then i deemed it inappropriate and didn’t but i had already started the question with “do you..” and he said”yes.” and i was like ??? lol and he was like “i do regret.” and so . EMO and i was like “lol that was Not the question i was gonna ask” and he was like “well that’s the question i’m answering” and i was like “..okay..?” and then it got awkward and i tried to make casual convo and he was like “can we just sit in silence for like 10 mins?” and i was like “okay!” but internally i was like seriously dude this is such a waste of precious work time and kinda just looked around and eventually just couldnt take the silence anymore and started talking again and brought the tension down so we decided to just. Walk Somewhere Else so we start going and after a while of him subtly trying to flirt and me just shutting that shit down every time he asks me if he makes me uncomfortable. also for context, when we were still talking, i told him that i didn’t necessarily trust him because i Don’t Trust Men because of how many of the close ones in my life were fucked up to me so it wasnt Him it was just Men and he wasn’t unreceptive but he obviously didn’t want to hear something like that and he said he didn’t understand but it also didn’t really seem like he wanted to understand. so back to his question i said no, but i don’t really think you respect my boundaries either as you’ve already shown (couple-y pet naming thing), so i know that i can expect for you to cross my boundaries, and i’ll know what i have to do when that happens. and he goes silent and doesn’t say anything until we get to a piece of . Sidewalk with benches and he wordlessly veers off to the right towards the benches and i don’t remember the conversation leading up to it but then he CRIED???? and its not that Man Crying its that its literally not that deep bro you thought you could control me (foreshadowing) and got your ass handed to you and you’re upset as a result. and i wasn’t mean to him at all!!!! i was super nonchalant and chill the whole time because im so mature and know how to handle my emotions (hide them). but he only reached out once after that and i didn’t try to reach back out bc i reflected after and realized just how much he was guilt tripping me.

5. TODAY!! i was talking to a girl that knows him and that *sex he had with those two girls at that party, were two black out drunk girls that he definitely did not get consent from, but got head. he forced some girl to make out with him because he thought she was going in for a kiss and she was just leaning over to grab something and he just. held her in place as he tried to pull away, also a serial unsolicited jerking off video sender, plus more and just being an overall creep. so.. I dodged a fucking bullet

[prismdrive]

Right, so

He was my second boyfriend ever, i was in my early 15s and incredibly stupid so don't fry me for this✨ I've learnt noworries

We started dating after like, two weeks of knowing eachother (first mistake) when he confessed via... whatsapp, very romantic

Anyways, at first it was all funsies, very rosed-clorored teenage love, i got my first kiss, etc etc

I started to sort of think something was wrong when his "jokes" started getting sort of... weird.

I mostly tried to ignore them, like when we went down stairs he would joke he'd push me down, he once pinned me to my bed the first time i invited him over demanding kisses (note, i'm barely a 5'3 midget and we'd been dating for like barely a week now so i basically had to beg for him to stop) and he did that fantastic prank where you break up with your SO via text and then say "lol it was just a joke"

Anyways i ended up breaking up with him, it wasn't anything too bad he understood and we went our separate ways, though he came back like three days later to ask for some pictures we took on a group outing so theres that.

Well until he decided to date my (at the time) best friend, and she ACCEPTED it

I have to admit i was kinda at fault for that, since she had asked me if it was okay for her to date my ex and i, as a known people pleaser, said yes. But i've grown to understand that isn't something to even CONSIDER as a friend let alone ask or do.

It happened anyways, and now i had to see my ex everywhere i went. And not only see him, but also see my best friend kissing and making out with him, fantastic

Eventually they broke up after he cheated

twice

and it was a DISASTER, he didn't accept the breakup and kept pestering my friend, my friend confronted him and he, and i cannot make this up, fainted, i had to comfort my friend while thinking at the back of my head "Well, i dodged a bullet", he dissapeared for like two days, making everybody worry, good stuff

After that i didn't hear more from him, i'd see him from afar on ocassions but just that

And now, two years after he texts me "Brother!!!!! I remembered you existed lmao"

wtf

My ex just texted me after almost two years with "Brother!!!! I remembered you existed lmao" that... Is a way to say hi...

who wants some tea time

[shegxox]

unsaid | lookism

in which you receive a midnight guest in the middle of your stream

notes: curse words , reader is a "rising" streamer, gotta censor some titles like in the manhwa lmao

wc:

a.n: i have no idea what the heck happened towards the end, this red flag is rotting my brain, please send hel–

next :

YOU glared at the large flat screen of your monitor, eyes slowly getting red with bags under your eyes getting darker.

"We're not stopping until I get out of iron, chat." You rasped, looking intensely at your computer. "These fucking smurfs!"

Another round lost for the fifth time.

You started streaming and playing v*lorant four hours ago at 8 p.m and honestly? You were having a blast! But then, you entered competitive.

When it comes to other games, you're as swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, and have the strength of a raging fire. You were deemed a genius in certain games due to your fast critical thinking and strategies.

But then, v*lorant came, and suddenly. . . you're a blind person who dodges on-screen bullets in real life like a complete idiot.

You suck at playing first-person shooting games, and in this one? It was like you were playing a horror game instead. You'd violently flinch whenever the sound of the sniper gun would go off and kill you, the footsteps coming in close to your way were unnerving, and the jumpscares– oh god, the jumpscares.

Though despite all that, this game is hella addicting. Addicting to the point where you even dream about it in your sleep.

"Give me a week, you guys." You spoke to your virtual audience. "I promise to get aces when I finally–!"

Suddenly, you heard a loud bang coming from the other side of your room followed by what seemed to be glass shattering. The sudden noise made you jump slightly from your seat and dart your head towards the sound.

"What." You blurted out, going silent as your chat started to flow with worried messages, hearing the unsettling sound as well.

Yup, that's how loud it was.

Woah what was that

Did someone break in?

Oh no, lock your door!

Please stay safe.

Call the police!!

You narrowed your eyes, eyebrows furrowing slightly as you wondered what the initial noise was. Besides the glass crashing, the first one didn't sound like something falling over, instead, it sounded like–

'Shit'

"Sorry guys." You apologized as you started to exit the game. "Looks like we're not grinding tonight, I'll see you all in the next stream."

Without bothering to look at the responses, you ended your stream and turned off your camera as well as your pc.

Taking off your headphones, you stood up from your seat and quietly made your way out of your room– slowly opening the door as you do.

It was silent, you could only hear the soft ticking of the clock with the hallway leading to the living room shrouded with darkness. You stood on your tiptoes before creeping your way to the living room, and just before you could turn the corner, you switched on the lights.

Immediately seeing a broken vase on the ground, you peeked through the corner and felt your breath instantly get hitched at your throat. Eyes widening from the unexpected sight as you revealed yourself from behind the wall.

It was a man, he was shirtless and sat comfortably on the couch with his arms and knees sprawled out as if he owns the place, head thrown back at the back rim of the couch.

"Gun??" You breathed out in disbelief. "The fuck you doing here?"

"Is that how you greet your guests?" He utters nonchalantly. "No complimentary wine or anything?"

You gave him a deadpan look, "This is my apartment, not a hotel."

He lifted his head from its position and looked at you from his seat. His left eyebrow quirked, glasses turning white from the light's reflection.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He questioned as if offended by your clothes. Even with that stupid anime glasses flare effect you could tell he just eyed you up and down like you were some peasant.

"How dare you," You squinted your eyes as you started to approach him slowly. "You break into my home, smash my precious vase, and dare insult my Pikachu onesie?"

You stood before him, looking down at his face.

"You wanna die?"

Gun feigned a sigh, "You've been away from me for almost a year, and look what happened to your fashion sense."

Your left eye twitched.

'This mother fu–'

"Weren't you the one who told me to always look good on every occasion?" His lips tugged into a smug smirk. "Such a shame."

"Ya." You called out, a vein popping on the side of your head. "If you must know I was just streaming earlier, just how the fuck did you find me and–"

Your eyes trailed down to his bare chest.

". . . Dude, my couch is white what the hell."

It was just then that you noticed a huge slash across his chest with fresh blood dripping from the wounds.

"You care about the couch more than me?"

"Oh, of course not, you're my baby girl." You answered with sarcasm dripping your tone. "Who cares if the cleaner becomes suspicious of me after seeing blood on my couch and started accusing me of murder."

"Damn, you still talk too much."

"And you're still ugly."

You sighed before turning your back, making your way to the kitchen.

"Who did you fight this time?"

Gun raised an amused brow, "Weren't you gonna ask how I found you?"

"What, nooo." You then said in a dramatic tone, "How could I ask that when my baby girl is bleeding to death!"

"Ya, stop with that nickname."

"My baby girl should always come first." You teased in a monotone voice as you pulled out a first aid kit from a cabinet. You then went back to where he was and plopped down on the couch next to him.

"Spill."

"It's none of your business."

"Then why are you even here." You took out the disinfectant, pieces of cotton, and a tweezer.

"Free patch up." Gun replied curtly

You suck your teeth, left eyebrow quirking briefly as you shrugged nonchalantly.

"Touché." You held up the cotton dipped in disinfectant with your tweezers before bringing it close to his wound. "Better start talking to distract yourself, this will sting like a bitch."

". . ."

You dabbed the cotton gently.

"Get this–" Gun started to talk, feeling that familiar sting as you started to clean his wound. Though he had gotten used to it, talking does get him distracted from the pain, he doesn't mind getting less pain from his treatment.

He started to talk about this crew called Hostel, a bunch of runaway kids who live in an old building loving together as a family. Gun then proceeds to rant about this particular guy named Eli whom he tried to take under his wing and make him his potential successor.

"What happens then?" You inquired. "I take this is the part where things go south?"

Gun hummed in reply, "He found out his was pregnant."

"Ah." You threw your head back slightly. "Let me guess, the two of you had a father son fight and in the end you let him go."

"Hm."

"That's one hell of a story." you comment, nearly finishing the disinfecting process of his wound.

"He had the most potential that I've seen," Gun mused. "And he threw it all away just for some girl."

"If he risked even fighting you just to get away, then she's just not some girl." You stated. "She's a girl that he greatly loves."

Gun scoffed from hearing that particular word, his chest heaving up as he did.

"Love, huh." He shook his head once. "What a cliché."

You let out a soft chuckle, finally finished with disinfecting.

"It is cliché," You agreed as you took out the bandages. "But not odd."

"It's stupid." Gun spats, sitting up properly on his seat as you work your way with the bandages. "Wasting an opportunity to get stronger just for that?"

"Hm," You started to wrap his chest. "You seem to forget, babygirl–"

"Stop it."

"Babygirl." You pressed. "There are two things that humans would go crazy for, and that's money and love."

"At least money's worth it, you'd have power."

"That is true," you nodded. "But love gives you power as well, just– in a different way. It's what probably fueled Eli to still try and fight you, heck, he even gave you this."

You gently pressed your wrapped chest, careful to not put too much pressure. Gun looked at you intently through his glasses.

"Love can make you do things that could go even beyond reason, it messes you up on the inside but somehow still becomes your strength." Removing your hand, you continued to wrap the bandages around him. "If it's all for love, you either win or lose. It's what makes or breaks you, all depending on how you wish to face it."

"You talk as if you've experienced it yourself," Gun comments with a scoff. "Did you ever become a fool for love?"

"A fool?" You huffed a laugh as a memory flashed at the back of your mind. "Maybe for a time, but I choose to run away from it."

"Run away?"

"Mhm." You hummed, as you finished the last lap of bandages. "But somehow, it keeps finding me no matter how hard I try to run."

Securing the bandage, you let out a sigh, facing him with a blank expression.

"So, how did you find me, Gun?" Gathering up the bloodied cotton balls, you stood up with the first aid kit in your other hand before going back to the kitchen.

"You slipped up once in your stream." He answered and you clicked your tongue, throwing the cottons away and putting back the kit into the cabinet.

"It was the window, wasn't it?"

"It took a while, but here I am." Gun tilted his head to the side, watching you from afar. "What will you do now."

You turned your back to face him again from the counter, sighing as you say,

"I don't know, probably sleep."

Gun then abruptly stood from his seat and started to approach you.

"Why do you keep running away, huh?" He questioned in a demanding tone, "You could've been living like a princess right now instead of pleasing perverts online."

"Excuse me?" You frowned. "Is that what you think goes on with my work?"

Gun scoffed, smirking cruelly as he reached the other side of the counter.

"You call that work?"

"Yes, and I love doing what I do and it's legal." You firmly state, "If you think what I do is pleasing perverts by just playing games, then it is you who have to change your sick perspective."

"So you're doing this because you love the attention you're not getting from–"

Gun found himself suddenly facing to the left, a stinging pain throbbing on his cheek, his glasses falling on the floor.

He lets out a low chuckle, seemingly bemused. He slowly turned to face you once again, eyeing you firmly like a predator with his dark eyes.

"Good to know you're still strong, princess."

You gave him a cold stare.

"You must have been tired from your fight." You uttered carefully. "You may rest here in the living room if you please, but if not, please lock the door as you go.

You turned your heel to walk away, but a firm hand caught hold of your wrist, pulling you to face him again.

"Why won't you just come back," Gun frowned. "Do you really wish to live like this?"

You stayed silent, glaring into the abyss of his eyes.

"You deserve more than this."

Gritting your teeth, you harshly pulled your hand away from his hold.

"I do." You agreed in a low tone. "From all the shit that wannabe father put me through, I sure as hell deserve more than this."

"You think you can survive on your own?" He challenged in a condescending tone. "He's still the reason why you're still well off."

"I can survive on my own." You snapped. "Even if I end up alone, I will get through this and make a name for myself. Don't you dare show your face to me again. . . please."

With that, you went to your room and locked the door without another word, leaving the man standing alone in the room with his jaw clenched and hands curling into a fist.

The next day, Gun found himself alone in the apartment without a single sight of you, it was as if you disappeared out of thin air.

"Yet another hide and seek, hm?" Gun mused to himself.

"Better hide properly this time, princess."

[always-andromeda]

Meda please tell me why I keep having a dream about getting knocked up by Joby Taylor and us trying to co-parent. Like. It’s always a mess but we pull together for the kid and there’s tenderness and anger and fights (I wasn’t going to tell him about the baby he found out) and. Why. Why does my brain want this

𝐉𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: lmao poor baby stomping storm is gonna get a notification that I used one of his gifs and it's for this. I am sorry, my beloved. but I couldn't not use one of your gifs; they are too beautiful <3 also lmao thank you, delaney, for giving me an excuse to share these headcanons bc I also think about this kind of scenario all of the time. because truly. this has no right living rent free in my head.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: vague allusions to sex, pregnancy, Joby is a clueless dad (and I guess we're just eating that slop up), nothing else I can think of!

One usually doesn't try to purposely entangle themselves with Joby Taylor. Joby Taylor merely happens to you. One day you're internally groaning over how he's looking at you from under his heavy eyelids and baring that smug smile from across the bar and the next you're holding a positive pregnancy test and debating whether or not you tell him.

You decide not to. There's no reason to get him involved. He'd probably want you to get rid of it anyways, and you're not interested in that. So you go radio silent.

But Joby isn't entirely clueless. He notices how you seem to be distancing yourself. He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but when you don't answer his calls, he gets that pang of jealousy. He wonders for a moment if you might be seeing someone else.

Though he's far from being exclusive with you, something about that makes him twitchy. He likes to believe that you wouldn't need anyone else other than him. So, he becomes clingy. In an attempt to figure out why you won't see him, drink with him, or sleep with him anymore, he'll go directly to you.

And you'll never forget the dumbstruck expression on his face when he starts saying that he's been calling you for weeks, only to be caught off guard by the small bump that's forming on your belly. Now, he is intimately familiar with your body. And he knows that isn't just a pouch of fat.

Joby flies into hysterics. He'll exclaim, "Wait a second, what the fuck is that?"

Don't even bother trying to beat around the bush with him because he will straight up demand to know, "Is it mine?"

And though he hopes that the answer is no, he knows deep down in his bones that he would never be lucky enough to dodge that bullet.

When sent into fight or flight, Joby's first urge is to flee; to protect his ego. The old Joby who had never met his first child and who only cared about his career wouldn't have given a second thought before waving you off and going his own way. The easy way.

But he isn't the old Joby anymore. And as much as he loathes his truth, he resolves that he must live it regardless. For the benefit of you and this child, he'll be there.

Him being there is difficult, both for him and you.

First of all, getting him to quit smoking and getting him to drink less would be a feat. Drying Joby out is worse than most symptoms of pregnancy. Because he's stubborn, he'll insist that he needs it and only begins to soften when you remind him that you want the baby to grow up in a sober home.

Decorating the baby's room and preparing with all of the supplies you'll need, he mostly leaves that bit to you. He'd watch you paint the bedroom with a blank expression, just watching the pastel blue slowly cover over the plain white walls; a sign of the times if he'd ever seen one.

When you start to wobble on the ladder, he'll break from his trance and rush to your side, quietly chuckling about how he thought your balance would be better with the low center of gravity and everything.

You'd give him a little grimace, knowing full well that you look different now and hating that he seems to be aware of it too.

But if there's one thing that Joby doesn't struggle with, it's the way that bump grows through the months. Bodies are bodies in his eyes. He doesn't really have a preference exactly.

As long as he can still figure it out similar to how he did before you were pregnant, he'll be happy. And in that way, Joby is the most comforting through those insecurities; after all, he will never pass up the opportunity to tell you that you're not his favorite MILF before giving you a cheeky, sloppy kiss.

Actually raising the baby is the really difficult part, obviously. A life on the road with his bandmates really hasn't put him in the prime position to know what to do when the baby needs to be changed or burped or fed or nurtured in almost any way.

That leaves you teaching him as you go for the first few months. It also means that there's lots of conflicts. Not a week goes by where you're not arguing with him over him not doing his fair share to keep everything running.

The way that he apologizes is...unconventional...to say in the least. He expects you to read between the lines. Getting a verbal, "I'm sorry," takes a lot. He shows his remorse through random trips to the gas station convenience store on the corner and bringing you back your favorite snack and drink. He also shows it through offering physical touch.

Because Joby loves touching. Whether it's him rubbing your shoulders and easing the tension from your muscles with his skilled fingers or it's him rubbing a climax out of you at the end of the night; he hates the idea of you going to bed angry at him.

He'll lay in bed, watching the back of your head and wishing he had a clue what was going on in it. At least when you're relaxed under his hands, there's a better chance that there's no seeds of bitterness being sown inside of you.

That's another pill that's hard for him to swallow. He hates thinking that he's ruined your life. He's done it once before; and though Claire seemed to be just fine the last time he saw her, he'll never get over the fact that he brought life into the world and ignored it for the longest time.

Some of that guilt helps to fuel his efforts. It's what brings the deals into fruition. Because making those little promises forces him to keep his word and keeps him accountable.

"I'll clean up the baby food if you get the baby in the bathtub."

"Deal."

"How about you cook dinner and I'll do the dishes?"

"Deal."

"Let me take a nap for an hour while you play with the baby."

"Deal."

Each deal gets sealed with a handshake and maybe a kiss if he's lucky. Because at the end of the day, you're a team. You're in this thing together. And no matter what you feel for him, you're both determined to do right by this kid.

Joby does something that he never thought he'd do: he settles into a stable routine. One that doesn't include any substances or blackouts or lapses in judgment that make him hate himself. Through hard work and dedication, Joby becomes a functioning human being; a man who is actually trying his best.

And as much as he once hated the idea of planting himself firmly, he doesn't mind being potted right beside you. With the way you bloom, Joby makes sure that even during the moments where you don't like each other that much, you still respect each other. And Joby hopes that'll never change. Because maybe he didn't ruin your life. Maybe, though, you saved his.