firstdeathandlust

[firstdeathandlust]

How can I contribute

[firstdeathandlust]

How can I feel or be of actual value.

[firstdeathandlust]

And I feel so powerless.

[firstdeathandlust]

So, we were robbed today. Or yesterday rather. Most of my mom's precious jewellery was stolen. Fucking tragic

[firstdeathandlust]

i mean it's going great with this guy, had 'fun' for a few more times and i'm lowkey satisfied. like i've never ever been shocked that a guy could be this fucking genuine and caring and it's crazy. just insane. he actually genuienly likes me and that is fucking wild. i'm scared of losing him honestly. i still haven't developed feelings of love or anything past that but wow, i am scared if this does not last long. he lowkey restored my hope that there are actually kind men out there, that show care and are prepared to take care for you. he's so cute as well :)

[firstdeathandlust]

His dick was so good, it felt nice just wish it lasted longer

[firstdeathandlust]

I had sex tonight after more than a year of being celibate, lol

[firstdeathandlust]

Why not me

[firstdeathandlust]

I no longer hold the will of self preservation

[firstdeathandlust]

I hold so much hatred and rage in my heart. I refuse and I hate people being physically close to me. I I feel scared to be in the same vicinity as some people. I hate him. He fucked me over. I hate him so much.

[firstdeathandlust]

I hate men they have all wronged me

[firstdeathandlust]

i hate you so much. you've ruined me. and i still seek that damn validation. i only hold hatred in my heart for you. you cruel motherfucker.

[firstdeathandlust]

what is my purpose in life? i suppose it's to create something beautiful and revolutionary that will help people. my purpose in life is create and help others. i want to make beautiful things like architecture. i want to learn more, do more, so i can help more. i dont want my existence to mean nothing. i want to preserve what i have and become the best possible person imaginable.

[firstdeathandlust]

No cuz I feel like sxicidal and shit because of everything that is not going on in y life. What the fuck. What am I not doing? What the fuck should I be doing?

[firstdeathandlust]

This year has just been fuxking karma for me

[firstdeathandlust]

My friends are keeping me single this is pathetic

[firstdeathandlust]

I just feel so fucking sick for being single and a year fucking celibate. This isn't fucking fair why did my ex land on that bitch within 2 months and im still single? This shits disgusting ngl