#but i have to say writing westerns is *much* more fun than i was expecting it to be!!

[zeawesomebirdie]

say it like you mean it, do you trust me now? (Gunsmoke) (bingo) (early drafting) 👀 could we hear a summary?

[WIP Tag Game]

Thanks for the second ask Astro sdjhgds I'm very honoured !!!!

This is the fic I've been vaugeblogging about for the last week or so!! It has utterly possessed me, I haven't written so much in ages

General content warning for violence, mostly genre typical violence for Westerns but also major character near-death :)

This is for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Taking the Bullet." I was inspired by the Gunsmoke episode Never Pester Chester, specifically the radio version which can be found on the Internet Archive here, it's number 7 (and I'm sorry I can't seem to figure out how to link the specific episode so hopefully this is adequate??) in which Chester gets dragged out of town by a pair of cowboys and gets so badly injured that Doc isn't even sure he'll make it. The moment Matt finds out about it, he goes absolutely feral about getting Chester back to safety, and then he goes out after the two cowboys and leaves his guns behind. At the end of the episode, he tells Chester that there isn't another man he could trust more, and tbch the whole episode has various characters trying to reassure him about Chester and it's actually really an incredibly queer episode if one happens to ship Matt/Chester but anyway lmao the plot of this fic!!!

It's Chester's birthday, and Matt got him a super nice fancy watch chain and he's made sure to get all of his work done early and he even wakes up a little early so that he can make sure to give Chester the best birthday ever. He's even got the hopes of finally confessing to be in love with Chester, since Kitty's been getting after him about that for ages now, but first things first: giving Chester the watch chain

Unfortunately (affectionate) this is a Western during trailing season, and when some cowboy or another shoots off his guns in the street, Matt has to run out of the jail and stop him. Turns out, there's a new trail boss in town, just came in and everything after their herd had been rustled a few days out of Dodge. Even though Matt tries to give Chester the day off (it's his birthday after all), Chester insists on going with him to meet the trail boss, which sets them out on what seems to be a wild goose chase

One thing leads to another, and the man accused of cattle rustling (one Timothy Anderson) turns out to be the former partner of the accuser (one Vinnie Munson), and he didn't rustle that herd, he bought them to cover Munson's ass after hearing that Munson couldn't afford to pay off his cowboys. This all comes to a head when Matt and Chester bring Anderson down to the Texas Trail to face Munson, who's been drinking all day. When Matt's back is turned, Munson reaches for his gun, and by the time he's firing Matt's been pushed out of the way by Chester, who gets the bullet in the ribs instead

Munson flees, but Matt doesn't follow after him. He waits with Chester until Doc gets there, which seems like an eternity later. Then, once they're all in Doc's office and the bullet has been removed, Matt finally confesses to being in love with Chester, only for Chester to pass out again. So Matt does the only thing he can think of doing: he takes off his star and tells Kitty and Doc he's going out to kill Munson

I'm almost halfway through the zero draft at this point, and I have a fancy schmancy brand-new playlist and a moodboard for this fic now! The playlist can be found here on spotify, and it's all pop punk!!

And here's the moodboard!

[milaisreading]

Can you do something for Hetalia Valentine's Day? The Axis and Allies are arguing with each other about being y/n's Valentine's date. While they are arguing Sealand goes to y/n's house with flowers on his hands and he is wearing a cute suit. When y/n opened the door Sealand asked y/n to be his Valentine date. Y/n found him so cute and she agreed. How would the Axis and Allies going to react after seeing this?

🌱🩷: Hii! Thank u for the request and happy Valentine's Day! Hope u like this! I had a lot of fun while writing!

Warning: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open!

🌍Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya🌏

"Achoo!" (Y/n) let out a loud sneeze, causing Finland and Denmark to look at her in surprise.

"Are you alright?" Finland wondered as he handed her a tissue.

"Did you get sick or something?" Denmark chimed in as he checked her temperature, which was normal as he could conclude.

"I am fine. I just think someone is gossiping about me, you know." She joked as the two looked at her in confusion.

"Weird."

"Yeah. Who would gossip about you?"

The country shrugged her shoulders, unsure what to answer them back.

'I just hope it's not Belarus scheming something! I already said I have no interest in Russia!' (Y/n) thought in fear, but tried to brush that image out of her head.

"I dunno. By the way, I am off to meet up with Belgium and her brothers. Have fun staying at home."

"Stay safe!"

"Call us if you need anything!"

Before she could answer back, there was a knock on the door and (Y/n) went to open it.

"Yes? Huh?" She stopped while looking down at a bouquet with red roses while Sealand was grinning up at her.

"Happy Valentine's Day! Please be my Valentine!"

"Huh... Sealand..." She muttered in confusion as the boy stared at her.

Meanwhile, the country was partially right with her assumptions. Eight countries were talking about (Y/n), just not in the way she expected it to be.

"You?! What makes you think you are compatible for (Y/n)?!" America yelled, pointing at Russia. The two countries were never on good terms ever since the Cold War started, now with Valentine's Day being right around the corner, and both going after the same country things got much more tense.

"And I don't see what makes you think we are not. (C/n) and I do share some history with each other. Meanwhile, you are just a little kid compared to me. Why would she want you?" Russia laughed as America got into his face.

"And you creep her out! Weren't you the reason she isolated herself to begin with?! Also, my present is way better!"

Meanwhile, Germany was glaring at Italy, who was fawning over the present he had prepared for (Y/n), which was a painting he painted for her.

"Ve~ I am sure mia bella will love this! I can't wait for her saying yes to being my Valentine-"

"Hold up, Italy! Who said she will agree to be you Valentine! I have a gift for her as well." Germany interrupted the Italian, who frowned at his words.

"Because my present is just better. And besides, I am the one who is more of a passionate person than you are." Italy giggled as he saw Germany's face turn red in anger.

"That means nothing! My gift is just as good!"

"I have to disappoint you on the last part, mon ami Italy." France laughed as he held England back from chocking him.

"After all, I am the country of romance and love. She will definitely pick me." France boasted as the German and Italian glared at the man.

"You?! You pervert have absolutely no chance! Didn't you scare (Y/n) the last time you saw each other!"

"That was months ago!" France said with a red face.

"And besides, she would rather have a gentleman, like me."

The four started arguing among each other as Japan and China looked at them with unamused expressions.

"They are so loud, aiyah! Stupid Westerners." China exclaimed as he covered up his ears. Japan silently nodded his head.

"And this whole argument is useless as well. (Y/n) will definitely pick me. I always cook her good meals."

Now this was something Japan wouldn't stay silent on as he sent the older nation a glare.

"You? Aren't you too old for this? Besides, (Y/n) likes me more than you. We have a lot of common interests as well."

"You?! Don't make laugh, Japan! You can barely look her in the eyes, let alone confess anything! I will be her Valentine!"

"Dream on." The two Asian countries were about to start arguing as well, but got interrupted by Sealand walking into the living room, looking at all of them in confusion.

"Why are you old people arguing now?" The countries tensed up and looked back at the micronation, who was holding a box with some sweets inside.

"Nothing a kid like you should know about." Russia smiled, causing Sealand to shiver in fright.

"Stop scaring him. He is still a kid." Germany warned as Italy hid behind him. Sealand pouted at that when England spoke up.

"What did you need? You usually only come to me when you need something."

The micronation looked back at the former empire as the rest looked between them.

"Nothing much. Just wanted to say that France's idea on how to woo someone over worked. I just had to act cute, and got a Valentine and sweets from her." The other countries stared at him in confusion as France laughed.

"Well of course it will work when you listen to me! So, your little lady friend likes you back?"

"Hold up! Since when do you have a crush?" England questioned as America and China chimed in.

"We could have totally helped you out, dude!"

"Besides, I am the oldest around here. If anyone knows how to treat a woman, that would be me." Que Japan rolling his eyes at China.

"Nah. I was fine like this. And Ms. (C/n) didn't say directly she likes me back, but she gave me sweets and said the flowers were nice." Sealand said as the countries froze in their spots.

"(Y/n)... you asked her out?" Italy asked as his face got pale.

"Yup! In a few years she might agree to be my Valentine for real! But for now, the sweets she gave me will do.' Sealand cheered as he left the room.

Immediately after he left, Japan took his phone out to call (Y/n), which was an action that didn't go unnoticed by Italy, China, and America.

"Hey! Put her on speaker!"

"She is making a huge mistake! She can't wait for Sealand to grow up God knows when!"

"Ve~ I am a way better pick!"

Meanwhile, Russia, Germany, and England were glaring daggers at France, who was both mad and frightened.

"I will give you 10 seconds, da?"

"You are too kind, I am giving him 5 seconds."

"Both of you gits are wrong! Kill him now!"

"Wait! I had no idea who he liked!"

Meanwhile, with (Y/n)....

Belgium pouted as she declined Japan's call for the 5th time while Luxembourg looked at her in amusement.

"You know, she will find out what you did, big sis."

"I am fine with her knowing. As long as her and Netherlands get together, I am saying this was a worth sacrifice."

The two siblings looked back at the said 2 countries. One looked like struggling to say coherent sentences, while the other one had his usual stoic look.

"It doesn't look all too well." Luxembourg chuckled as Belgium sighed in frustration.

"Don't worry! I am sure big brother will catch on to it and be the perfect gentleman! He even bought her hot chocolate." Belgium smiled as the two silently looked at (Y/n) and Netherlands. The girl's face was a dark shade of red as Netherlands stared at her intensely.

"You know...."

Luxembourg and Belgium held their breaths as the oldest spoke up.

"That hot chocolate costed me around 4 euros. Please pay it back when you can."

The two watched in disbelief as he said that and (Y/n) started to scramble for her wallet.

"O-oh! Sure, no worries!"

"Is he nuts?!" Belgium silently yelled as Luxembourg stared at his brother in annoyance.

"Money rules the world for him..."

[stawpny]

I’m bored and ao3 is kinda dry (atleast for the wttt ny tag)

so here are some NY ships I NEED to see more of 🙏

—

MassYork: ok, I used to be almost totally opposed to this, seeing them having more of a brotherly relationship but with history n stuff it’s kinda not possible. But anyway, probably my main ship for now, bc OHMYGOD “nobody can kill you but me”? GET OUT, GET MARRIED, PLEASE.

like if it’s Mass/Cali/York or Mass/Jersey/York I will eat it up.

no questions, it is already in my mouth. I am eating the fuck outta this.

GeoYork: in my mind they have a cute dynamic. I feel they would be best friends as younger colonies and then have a very complicated relationship until they finally get together. Slowburn kinda, also kinda they have been in relationships dozens of times but something always happens. and isn’t Georgia called the “Empire State of the South”? or am I just hearing things

peach + apple? cobbler + pie? idek but I love them

TexYork: guys pls. southern gentleman and city boy? literally perfect for each other. they would make fun of each other endlessly. accents, vocabulary, actions, plus so much more because they’re very different.

TX taking York to his ranch to meet bro’s cows??? yes please. I’d like to meet Betsy too .

^TexaCaliYork: also a fire ship (see what I did there?) like the ship above, but with the hipster in it aswell. Texas and Cal constantly bicker like children and York sorts it out like a teacher would.

NY: you hurt his feelin’s, go apologize.

TX, scoffing: fine, but don’t expect me to get along with him after.

(spoiler alert!! York forces them into a cuddle pile afterwards to get over there lifelong beef)

IlliYork: they’re enemies, they’re lovers, the whole kit-and-caboodle. they’d switch hats sometimes and hold each others hand when they’re in their cities. they’re idiots and the Midwest and the Northeast hate them for it. It’s kinda gross but in a good way.

they’d be the couple who like hold hands in public but not make a single move other than that to show that they love the other. absolutely no kissing in public, they would just sit there in silence with a death grip on the other’s hand. they would totally insult each other to the face and then say, “Love you, tho.”

FloYork: fun fact: they are absolutely insane together. They influence each other and constantly say stupid shit. Florida would force York outta his comfort zone from time to time but the inner extrovert masked by New York’s fake introvert personality will do it almost willingly. he puts up a “fight” but he would deadass do it bc he thinks this shit is hilarious.

NY would be a little like Florida even if they weren’t dating. like NYC is absolutely batshit so that would mean York would have to be a little too.

NY/CA/TX/FL/LA: little crazy, ik, but I remember reading fics abt these five (including gov, but I’m still questioning if he would be in here or not) and absolutely devouring them. spectacular ship. it’s like a little bit of everything, except the Midwest and the other western states, but almost everything. I would love to see more of them.

they would def fight over each other. (who got to hold hands with who, who got to sleep/cuddle with who, etc.)

—

I’m not forcing you to give into my opinions, but if u like these, I like you 😼

some of these hc’s are not entirely mine, some were influenced, tho most are from the rotting part of my brain

I hope u use these ships in the future or I might spontaneously combust

(spoiler alert 2!! I will still explode [out of love] if u write about them)

ily guys

[lunarubra]

So, here we are. This chapter is shorter than the others, but I wanted to wrap up the first part of the story in a sweet way, and this is what came out. It's pure fluff—I hope you like it! :) More will happen in the next parts, I just need to get back into writing and feel good about it. Thank you for being patient with me, and I’m sorry for the long wait. Comments make me very happy..

Pairing: Cillian x OC (Jiyan Fabris)

Summary: The end of the first part of the story, where they both finally found their balance.

Warning: English not my First Language, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort.

Words: 2266

Previous | Masterlist

Chapter 9 - Glow of the Water

“You know, I always expect the worst from this island, but I’m glad it surprises me sometimes,” Jiyan said with a playful smile.

Cillian, who was driving, shot her a mildly offended look. They had just left Galway, where the night before he’d celebrated the 35th anniversary of the local theatre with fellow actors and screenwriters. It was also where she finally met his famous friend Enda—the one he couldn’t stop talking about.

The event had been incredible—watching all the interconnected plays was engaging, and Jiyan finally got to see Cillian perform on stage, which was one of the most special things he shared with her. Afterward, the actors gathered at a local pub for a lively, traditional Irish night. It was the most fun Jiyan had had in months, especially watching Cillian and Enda get tipsy a bit too quickly, something she found endlessly amusing. Teasing her drunk boyfriend might have bordered on cruelty, but she had enjoyed it far too much to care.

The following morning, after a couple of Bloody Marys for Cillian—and tea for Jiyan, who still couldn’t understand why anyone would want to drink tomatoes (tomatoes were for cooking or salads, not for juice)—and a hearty breakfast, they set off for the coast. Jiyan hadn’t seen much of Ireland outside Dublin, except for a visit to Cork with Cillian, but she’d never explored the western coast or the countryside, which Cillian found hard to believe. She’d been in Ireland for nearly five months, as he reminded her while planning the trip, and still hadn’t visited some of its most beautiful spots. To him, that needed immediate fixing.

“What do you mean?” Cillian asked, frowning slightly.

“Well, you have to admit, as lovely as it is, it’s always raining. And when it’s not, the sun plays hide-and-seek with the clouds. I almost cried last week when the weatherman said we were in for a ‘nice week.’ You know why? Because that ‘nice week’ meant sixteen hours of sunshine. Sixteen hours. For the whole week! That has to violate the Geneva Convention or something.”

“The ‘weatherman’?” Cillian asked, amused.

“In Italy, we’d call him uccello del malaugurio—someone who only brings bad news and somehow makes it happen.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s not actually controlling the weather, love.”

“He’s bringing bad luck, I swear! I know you Irish are used to this, but I’m not. The other day, a woman probably thought I was lost. I kept weaving between buildings, crossing the street a thousand times, trying to chase the sun!”

Cillian stifled a groan, well aware of how frustrating it was to walk with her on sunny days. He almost preferred when it rained, because Jiyan would prepare like a marine about to head into battle—wrapped in two scarves, a beanie covering most of her face—and would march through the streets, efficient and fast. But on sunny days? It was like following an overexcited child with no sense of direction. She’d zigzag across the street, dodging every shadow cast by buildings, street lamps, anything that blocked the sun. She’d jaywalk without hesitation just to stay in the light, and sometimes she even abandoned the sidewalk to walk in the middle of the road. Needless to say, the neighbours had become extra watchful whenever Jiyan was out and about.

The playful banter faded naturally, giving way to the soft sound of Nina Simone’s voice, setting a relaxed, comfortable mood in the car. They were driving along a coastal road where the cliffs met the ocean, the peaceful day mirroring the calm inside. Unlike the stormy days before, the sea was serene, and the sun hung lazily on the horizon. Even with the windows closed, Jiyan could hear the distant calls of seagulls, blending perfectly with Nina Simone’s soothing voice from the speakers.

Cillian’s hand had unconsciously found its way to her leg, drawing lazy circles with his thumb, while Jiyan absentmindedly caressed his forearm. She felt more relaxed than she had in a long time, simply enjoying the scenery and the warm sunlight spilling through the window.

“So why do you say it surprises you?” he asked.

“Well, even though this isn’t exactly my kind of weather, it’s really beautiful—and I’m kind of surprised by that,” she joked, then turned toward him and took his hand. She smiled softly and paused for a moment. “Thank you for today.”

Cillian glanced at her, returning her smile as if trying to capture the moment forever—Jiyan with her wild hair escaping the messy bun, gazing out toward the ocean, her eyes reflecting the different shades of the water.

“We’re almost there,” he said, holding her hand and kissing it.

The trail seemed to fly by as they walked along the cliffs, the beauty of the landscape unlike anything Jiyan had ever experienced. She thought, if there was a place where the colour green had been invented, it had to be here.

They spent most of the hike chatting—getting into lively talks about European and American cinema and even a passionate debate over The Beatles over the Rolling Stones. But once they reached the Cliffs of Moher, the conversation faded, and Jiyan just stood there, quiet, taking in the stunning view.

She leaned back against Cillian’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Her hands rested on his, holding him as she soaked in the moment, lost in the scenery and the peacefulness surrounding them.

She snuggled deeper into Cillian’s embrace, letting out a contented sigh.

"I love this," she said softly, her voice barely louder than the wind. "It’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve felt this at peace in... I can’t even remember when."

Cillian hummed in agreement, pulling her even closer. Her hair, tousled by the breeze, brushed against his chin as he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her head.

They stood there for a while, wrapped in each other and the wild beauty surrounding them. The cliffs stretched out endlessly, meeting the vast expanse of the Atlantic Ocean below. The sea, dark and restless, crashed against the rocks, but the horizon was calm, the late afternoon sun casting a golden light over everything.

"I’m glad you finally got to see this," Cillian murmured, his voice low. "I’ve been wanting to bring you here since we were in Cork."

Jiyan smiled, her gaze still fixed on the ocean. "I get it now. It’s... overwhelming in the best way. It feels like time just stops here."

Cillian chuckled softly, resting his chin on her shoulder. "That’s Ireland for you. It has a way of pulling you in, even when you least expect it."

She tilted her head slightly, looking up at him, her eyes warm and bright. "Thank you for bringing me here," she said, her voice softer and more intimate this time.

"Anytime," he whispered, giving her a gentle squeeze. "It’s moments like this that make all the rain and cloudy days worth it."

They stood together in comfortable silence, both lost in the tranquillity of the moment. Finally, Jiyan broke the stillness, her tone light but playful as she glanced up at him.

“If I had told Samyah last year that I’d find peace—and a whole new life—in Ireland, she probably would’ve staged an intervention,” Jiyan chuckled.

Cillian stiffened slightly, unsure of what to say. He hesitated for a moment before speaking. "You’ve never really talked again about... about what happened, about her. I didn’t want to pry."

Jiyan tightened her grip on his arms around her waist, as if steadying herself. She let out a soft breath. "I never really talked about what happened—before that day when I had the panic attack. It was too painful, and I just hoped I could forget it, lock it away. There are still things that happened after, but I'm not ready to talk about them yet. I don’t even know how to explain it. Then I met you, and I thought I could move on, be happy, and leave everything in the past. But it didn’t work like that. After we got back from Cork, after your sister’s birthday, the panic attacks started again."

"You didn’t tell me..." he said softly, his concern evident.

She turned in his arms to face him. "I know. I’m sorry. I just hoped that if I ignored it long enough, it would disappear."

Cillian cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing her cheek. "I don’t think it works that way, love."

"No, it doesn’t," she replied with a half-hearted smile, sadness lingering in her eyes. "That’s why I started seeing a therapist. And it’s helping… it’s helping a lot."

"You started therapy? When?" he asked, slightly surprised.

"Not long ago, I swear. I’m only on my third session," she said quickly. "I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I wanted to keep it to myself until I felt more comfortable. Honestly, I haven’t been the best patient... I’m not great at asking for help, and it took me a while to figure it out," she admitted. Her voice softened then, her eyes searching his. "Are you... is it okay?"

Cillian’s gaze fixed on her, and he gently placed his hands on her arms. "Am I...? Jiyan, of course. This is good. This is really good." He paused, trying to find the right words. "You’re one of the strongest people I know, but I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been dealing with everything that happened. I want to help, but sometimes... I'm really not sure how."

"Therapy is good—it’s so important," he continued, hesitating for a moment as he glanced around, almost like the scenery might give him the words he needed. "There were days when I could tell something was off. You seemed distant, and I thought giving you space was the right thing to do... that maybe you didn’t want to be pushed. I’m sorry if I wasn’t there when you needed me." he concluded lowering his gaze.

Jiyan shook her head gently, her eyes softening. "Cillian, you’ve already helped more than you know. You didn’t need to fix everything. You just had to be here, and you were. That’s all I needed."

He exhaled slowly, relieved by her words but still carrying a hint of hesitation. "I just... I hate that you went through this alone. I should’ve said something or done more."

She smiled, placing her hand over chest, just above his heart. "I’m working through a lot of things, but one thing I’m sure about... You came into my life exactly when I needed you. I wasn’t ready before, and I don’t think I would’ve let anyone in." Her voice softened as she continued, "But you made it safe for me. I know I shut down sometimes, but you’ve always been patient. You gave me space when I needed it and support when I couldn’t ask for it."

Cillian lowered his head, resting his forehead against hers. "I’m glad, but... I’m here, Jiyan. It’s not just you—I’m here," he emphasised again. "You don’t have to carry it all alone."

"I know," she whispered. "It’s not easy for me, but I’m learning that it’s okay to lean on people again."

They stood there for a moment, forehead to forehead, the gentle sound of the ocean filling the quiet between them. The weight of her words seemed to settle around them, but instead of feeling heavy, it brought a sense of lightness, as if a burden had finally been lifted.

Cillian stepped back slightly, gazing at the person who had entered his life like a hurricane and somehow filled every gap, every empty space inside him. He thought about all the times his friends or brother, after yet another failed relationship, had told him he’d just know when he met the right person. They said it would feel natural, intense, and effortless—he wouldn’t even have to think about it. And they were right. Before he realised it, he was completely connected to her.

“Tá mé i ngrá leat,” he murmured, feeling Jiyan stiffen slightly.

"You..." she started.

"You don’t have to say anything," he said gently. "I just... Tá mé i ngrá leat, Jiyan," he repeated, cupping her face.

“Ez jî ji te hez dikim,” she whispered back.

"What?" he asked, baffled.

"What, I know what you told me in Irish, and you don’t understand Kurdish?" she teased, a playful smile spreading across her face.

Cillian laughed softly, his expression warming. "I think you’ve got the advantage when it comes to languages, Aji."

"I love you too," she said again, this time more softly, and then kissed him slowly. She poured all her emotions into the kiss—all the love, gratitude, and vulnerability she had held inside. Cillian responded in kind, holding her even closer as the moment deepened.

When the kiss finally ended, they stayed like that, forehead to forehead, breathing heavily, as if they’d both come up for air after diving deep into something profound.

"Okay, this was amazing—I love you, and the place is beautiful," Jiyan said with a teasing tone, "but it’s freezing, way too cold for tiny Mediterranean me. Can we go back?"

Cillian laughed softly, kissing her forehead “Yeah we can go back, come on”.

As they began to walk back along the cliffs, the salty breeze tousled their hair and the distant sound of waves crashing against the rocks filled the air. Jiyan leaned into Cillian’s side, feeling warmth radiate from him despite the chill of the weather. They exchanged smiles, sealing their pact in that beautiful moment, the ocean and the cliffs standing as their witnesses.

Previous | Masterlist

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. Your feedback, in any form helps me to continue write this story; and comments makes me happy. See you at the next one :)

[skzhocomments]

The Rising Empress (Bang Chan) - Chapter 4 - The Bearer of Bad News

General Masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 (coming soon)

Taglist: @vxllxnsworld

---

Chapter 4 - The Bearer of Bad News

Chapter word count: 1.8k words

“This humble maid greets His Majesty, Sun of the Empire.” Mari bows with utmost respect to Chris, who quickly asks her to raise her head.

“What is the Empress up to these days?” He asks her, paying attention to the slight disgust plastered across her face. Truth is, he expected Aristia to warm up to someone, at least to her personal maid, but judging by the strong response of the maid’s body language, it’s clear that she didn’t.

“… Not much. She takes a walk every midday through the gardens, but other than that, she stays locked in her room. She writes, eats-”

“Writes?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. She’s taken a liking to writing as of late.”

“What does she write exactly? Letters?” Chris asks, his heart thumping in his chest. Is she perhaps informing the King of the South about any of the Empire’s affairs?

“No. Stories. What they contain, however, is not something I am aware of.”

“I see. Could you bring me some of her writings?” He furrows his brows in confusion. He still believes she is a spy for her family, and the fact that she hasn’t yet sent any reports back to the Kingdom is surprising to say the least.

“I am afraid not. She keeps them locked in her drawers and carries the key at all times around her neck.”

“I see. Thank you, Mari.”

The girl bows and turns to leave, before Chris remembers something.

“Ah, one more thing. I noticed something unpleasant looking at the Empress the other day. Her garments are dirty. Is there an issue I should know about?” He raises an accusatory eyebrow and watches the maid’s mannerisms carefully.

“… No, Your Majesty. I will make sure Her Highness’s attire will be more appropriate from now on.”

“Yeah. Do that.” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

~

The next morning, Aristia wakes up to her maid frantically buzzing around the room, carrying multiple dresses on her arms.

“What’s with all this fuss?” She groans and sits up on the bed, trying to make sense of what is happening.

“Good morning, Your Majesty. I am to prepare you for breakfast, as His Highness has requested your presence.”

“Mhm.” She nods, before the words fully register in her head. “Wait, what? Why?”

“Apologies, but I don’t have any additional information. His Majesty’s personal guard is waiting for you.”

Still confused and groggy with sleep, Aristia stands up and makes her way to the dresses. With a yawn, she analyses all of them, and choses a pastel yellow dress with flowers made of lace scattered all over, with puffy sleeves. The dress is comfortable and breezy, much like the ones she’s worn until now. Only, this dress is not dirty, nor shabby, nor old.

It fits her right, besides around the hips, where excess fabric covers up her silhouette. The dress would’ve been perfect when she first arrived in the Empire and had her measurements taken, but now, it’s loose fitting, a reminder of the fact that she’s become malnourished. She decides to wear a tight corset to make it look a bit more her size, and she successfully hides how much weight she’s lost.

As soon as she’s done dressing herself, she steps out on the hallways and sees a familiar face. She smiles, genuinely this time.

“Hello, Changbin.”

“Your Highness.” He bows and returns her smile. “You remembered my name.”

“Of course I did. What have you been up to these days? I haven’t seen you around.” She asks as they start walking towards the gardens, where the Emperor apparently wants to have breakfast with her.

“I’ve just returned from a trip abroad to the Western Kingdom.”

“Oh, was it fun?” She asks, and Changbin looks puzzled. He’s never been asked if a diplomatic trip was fun, so he doesn’t quite know what to reply.

“I guess so? It went alright. I had to guard Prince Felix as he’s been sent to represent the Empire in some negotiations.”

“What for?” Aristia questions, glad that for the first time, someone is not sparing any details.

“As you might know, sugar canes only grow in the west. Oh, in case Your Highness is not aware, sugar canes are used for-”

“Producing raw and refined sugar and molasses. Yes, I know.” She cuts him off with a kind smile and he seems excited.

“Exactly! I had no idea sugar came from that tall grass!” He exclaims, making her laugh.

“Yes, I read in a book about the process of extracting juice by crushing the sugar cane. Oh, do you know that rum is actually made from that juice or from molasses?”

“Rum?”

“The drink.”

“What is that? Does it taste any good?”

“Don’t you have it here?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

“No, I don’t believe we do.”

“It’s an alcoholic beverage… It apparently tastes quite sweet, as it’s made from fermented molasses. I actually don’t know what it tastes like either. Since the Kingdom doesn’t produce any sugar canes, I could only read about it.”

“I see. Your Highness seems quite intelligent.” He compliments.

“Did I seem dull until now?” Aristia asks in a serious tone, and Changbin starts apologising instantly.

“No! Of course not! God, what have I said? Of course, you always seemed intelligent. You’re my Empress and-” He rambles and Aristia bursts out laughing.

Having a genuine conversation with someone who doesn’t seem to view her as an enemy is refreshing.

“Oh.” Changbin blushes.

“I thought you would’ve been served some rum in the west.”

“Maybe Prince Felix… I haven’t been given any.” He pouts slightly, and Aristia laughs again.

“Speaking of, how is he doing? Did he find the trip difficult? Is he healthy?”

“Yes, the Prince is as cheerful as always. He was, however, quite disappointed that he didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to you after your wedding. Now that he’s back, Your Highness will probably not be able to get rid of him.”

“Oh, my.” Aristia smiles as they eventually reach a small greenhouse in the middle of the garden.

Changbin keeps guiding her to the table, and as they approach, Aristia notices Chris and Felix talking lively about something. The closer they get, the more she realises Felix is telling his brother details about the trip.

“You’re here.” Chan’s lips turn into a thin line, but the girl chooses to ignore his hostility and focus on Felix’ smiling face instead.

She salutes the two with a bow then sits down with Changbin’s help.

“Sister, you look so beautiful. I love how your dress looks.” Felix compliments, his smile radiating as much as the sun’s rays.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, how was your trip?”

“I was just telling Chris about it. The people of the west are quite nice! I had an amazing time, and we managed to score the deal with the-” Felix speaks but gets interrupted by Chris clearing his throat. He shuts up instantly and mutters a small “Sorry.”

Apparently, Aristia wasn’t supposed to know of this information either.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I was telling Chris about this gift they gave me. You all should try it. Changbin, I mean you as well. I know you didn’t get to taste any while we were there.” Felix resumes his happy stance and pulls out a small bottle out of his coat, pouring a brown liquid into four small glasses.

Rum.

Changbin grabs his glass with interest and tastes the liquid. As soon as it touches his tongue, he tastes sugar and alcohol, and he turns his head to Aristia.

“Is this the liquid you’ve been telling me about? What was it called… rum?”

“Have you had this before?” Felix asks, eyes sparkling with interest.

“No, I just… read about it in a book.” She smiles.

“Her Highness is so humble. She knows all about the way this drink is made.” Changbin starts boasting and telling the table all about their conversation, and with each word, Chris is looking more and more intensely at Aristia.

“Perhaps this knowledge will come in handy once we get the sugar cane seeds.” The Emperor says after a little while, shocking her.

He finally thinks she’s going to be useful at something, and although Aristia’s eyes grow wide for a short moment, she has some conflicting feelings about this matter.

“Anyways, we should get to eating. There are some matters I have to attend to after breakfast.” Chris continues.

After he says that, he looks towards the attendants on the side of the room who rush to bring all sorts of fresh salads, boiled and fried eggs, cheeses, salami and hams, as well as crackers and fresh fruit. For the first time in months, Aristia can eat a fresh breakfast, so she doesn’t hold herself back.

~

“This was so good!” Felix smiles gleefully, and both Chan and Aristia nod their heads in approval. He reminds her of a little kid, happy of everything, and unintentionally makes her smile.

“Felix, sorry about this, but would you please give us some time to talk privately?” Chris asks his brother, and he nods excitedly, thinking they finally started to get along.

He’s happy that his plan seemed to work. After all, he is the one who insisted that Aristia joins the two for breakfast, lunch and dinner from now on, after hearing that the Emperor never once shared a meal with his wife since the wedding.

He excuses himself, leaving Chris and Aristia alone.

“A letter from the Kingdom of the South arrived this morning.” The Emperor starts, and she instantly looks at him with dread. “It seems your father wants to come visit. He misses his precious daughter.”

“… When?” She asks, her body growing cold. She doesn’t want to see her father. She finally got away, she had a few months of peace. He hates trips. So… why?

Why is he coming here?

“In about one week from now. Seems he simply… informed us of his arrival, and what can we do but accommodate him?” Chan asks with a fake smile, irritated.

He dislikes the disrespect of someone announcing him they’re visiting instead of asking for permission, but he still has to play it nice while his troops undergo more training. The Kingdom of the South is known for their strong army, after all, and war over the emerald mine is sure to break out soon enough. He needs to buy more time.

“… Why did the letter get here so late?” Her hands start trembling slightly, so she moves them under the table. She’s forgotten what it felt like to be afraid, to walk on eggshells.

“Who knows? He must’ve sent it a bit before he decided to leave. I have a few meetings to attend, so I’m going to leave you to it. Oh, something else before I go. You are expected to join us for lunch and dinner as well, as per my dear brother’s request.”

Aristia nods absent-mindedly out of habit, but she barely hears his words.

Her father is coming.

Her head falls down, hair covering her face, as she shivers in place. One of her hands raises to her lips and she begins nervously biting her fingernails.

He can’t come here.

He can’t.

This place is safe…

This place is safe…

Nothing will happen.

Yeah.

He wouldn’t dare hurt me here.

I am the Empress.

~

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 (coming soon)

[alpaca-clouds]

The Canonicity of the first 7 Digimon Movies

Okay, let me ramble on another thing in terms of Digimon. For the first four seasons, we had a total of seven movies that were released. Two movies each for Adventure, 02, Tamers, and one movie only for Digimon Frontier.

The movies were generally released in a bundle with movies for other franchises Toei was releasing. Like Dragon Ball Z, One Piece, and Ojamajo Doremi. Because the movies were generally released in a package of two or three movies that came together to somewhere between 90 and 120 minutes, the movies themselves are not movie length by any western standards, and for the most part only are about 20-40 minutes each.

However, the weird thing with the movies for Digimon is the questionable canonicity. So, let's go through the movies one by one.

Movie 01: Digimon Adventure

This movie is easy to place in terms of canonicity. Digimon Adventure confirms the events of this movie to be canon as by episode 29 of the series. As the movie was made parallel to the first episodes of the series, and as such the folks writing the series actually were in full awareness of the movie and its contents.

Fun fact: Hikari was originally not planned to be a chosen child in Digimon Adventure. But given folks found her adorable in the movie (that released at the same time as the first episodes), there was a push made by Seki Hiromi and other producers for the writers to include her as a main character later in the series. (This is also why she joins so super late in the show and why during the first few episodes Gennai never even seems to wonder why there are only seven chosen children arriving at File Island.)

Movie 02: Bokura no Wargame

The second movie is also fairly easy to relate to the canon. Here, too, the series later confirms in Digimon Adventure 02 episode 27. Honestly, there is not a whole lot else to say about this one. Not a lot of fun facts or anything. We know it is canon.

Movie 03: Hurricane Touchdown & Supreme Evolution

This movie is probably the one most discussed in terms of canonicity. Because other than with the first two movies, the canon of the show does neither confirm, nor deny it. Originally folks thought it would not properly fit within the timeline of Adventure 02 (which takes place between early April 2002 and December 31st 2002), though this was mostly connected to folks assuming it would have to take place between episodes 13 and 14 of the show, as Shurimon and Submarimon do not show up. However, several folks later realized that it is more likely that the movie takes place between episodes 21 and 22, as the movie explicitly references it being Summer vacation. In terms of the show, the summer vacation starts by episode 18. We do not know quite by which episode school starts again. But there is a good chance that there is a good chance that episodes 18-21 only take up one or two weeks of the summer vacation, leaving four to five weeks of it for Hikari and Takeru to travel to the US.

The only thing that is really weird about this is, that we do not see Wallace at any point during the show (like during the Christmas episodes or the finale), as one should expect if the movie was canon.

And yes, of course, we see Wallace shortly in Kizuna - but the canonicity of those movies is again a thing that could be discussed. (But not today.)

Movie 04: Diaboromon Strikes Back

Frankly, given that this movie is pretty much the last thing happening in this timeline before the revival through tri. and then later Kizuna/The BEGINNING, this movie can be seen as either or. Generally speaking though, it does not really matter.

There is nothing in this movie that contradicts anything from Digimon Adventure or 02, but also nothing has ever firmly confirmed it.

Personally I always considered it canon, because there is just nothing world changing happening here.

Movie 05: The Battle of Adventurers

This movie is kinda fun in terms of its canonicity. Basically: It was written largely without any coordination between the writers of the show and the main screenwriter for the movie. However, because Konaka and the other writers actually liked it a lot, they decided to later reference it by having Kai show up in later episodes of the anime, hence confirming the movie was canonical.

Now, I could go through this movie and point out, how it does not quite fit with the canon. But generally I guess those are minor details that can be chucked up to the circumstance of the movie's creation.

As we know that the movie takes place between July 29th and August 2nd 2001, and have enough information about rough timeline of the show, we can say pretty firmly, that this movie takes place between episode 16 and 17 of the show. And yes, if you are attentive you will notice that this does not quite fit, as in the movie Taomon and Rapidmon already show up, that only get their debut in episodes 17 and 18 respectively. However, given that the movie confirms the dates as the very first days of the Tokyo summer vacation that year, and given that episode 17 definitely references being set during the school summer vacation... Yeah, the movie has to happen between episodes 16 and 17.

Movie 06: The Runaway Locomon

Runaway Locomon is the one movie I will firmly call out on not being canon. Simply because it does explictly contradict the timeline from the primal canon material. As Konaka has written the Drama CD "Message in a Package", I would consider that one much more canonical than this movie. And, well...

According to the series the Digimon get sent back ti the Digital World within hours after Takato and Guilmon get Dukemon Crimson Mode, which they have in the movie. And the movie gives absolutely no reason for why they are back a few weeks later. The movie gives even less reason for why the actual fuck Ryou is back in the Digital World at the beginning of the movie. And it all... makes little sense.

Mind you, for my fanseries (that is Digimon Alpha Generation) I made the decision back in the day, that some events similar to this movie happened in March 2004, so a full two years later. But I am under no illusions that this in somehow fits with anything the movie itself establishes or the show. It was mostly me just wanting to not give up on the Ruki-related drama from the movie.

Movie 07: The Island of Lost Digimon

I will openly admit this movie is the hardest to make sense off. For all the other seasons, we have a much easier time to relate the events of the series to the events of the movies in terms of time, because we have a real world timeframe to reference. We know when the events in Digimon Adventure, 02, and Tamers happen in terms of months and years.

Digimon Frontier meanwhile takes place over the course of 5 minutes in the real world, and we have nearly no reference how much time passes in the digital world while the kids have their adventure. Sure, it makes sense to assume it would happen after episode 12 (given that Takuya and Kouji have their Beast Spirits, but Bokomon does not yet have the Seraphimon egg), but... yeah. This does not make a terrible lot of sense.

So all in all... It is fairly probable that this movie is not canonical to the rest of Digimon Frontier.

[hibischush]

Dancing headcannons for the bachelors/bachelorettes? Like how good they are, how much they enjoy it etc? I love love love your writing and seriously can't wait for Aug 5th

So sorry for such a late reply! Life & work caught up to me. Who knew that preparing for college took a lot of time, money, and effort, amirite?

Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm glad you all enjoy my writing and I'm so excited for August 5th 🌺💗

Bachelors;

Balor

I don't think that Balor would seek out dancing himself or dancing alone

He liked being with groups of people where their focus isn't entirely on him

He's not bad at dancing but not great either, but he's aware of that and still enjoys dancing with others despite mistakes being made

Once in a romantic relationship, he starts to seek out dancing with you during quiet moments

Like think at night in the kitchen, lights are off and the only noise is the sound of the stove heating up a kettle of water for night tea

And Balor slowly rocks the two of you back and forth tenderly and deliberately, not having to say a word to express how much he loves you

March

March is the only person on here that explicitly dislikes dancing

He's never liked it, mainly because he isn't that great at it

He can never match a tempo, he steps on others feet, and he feels like people watch him and make fun of him silently

If you wanted March to dance with you, it couldn't be in public

Being friends with him, its nearly impossible to convince him that you'd teach him

And being romantically involved isn't that much easier

He just gets super nervous of messing up or looking stupid in front of anyone, especially you

Hayden

If you look at Hayden you already know what style of dance he enjoys best

It's gonna be the honky-tonky country dances of western American

This man can throw a hoedown

Hayden is loud and enjoys company, and square-dancing is a wonderful opportunity for him to be himself

He loves the community feeling surrounding it

He's been doing it for years and is a master at it, and willing to teach anyone the dance

Ryis

Ryis enjoys dancing at social outings if he's somehow roped into it

Not to say that he would avoid the dancefloor, but he only wants to dance if someone else wants him to be there

He also knows folk dance styles like square dancing

But I know that he would enjoy jiving the best, especially with a romantic partner

He loves the energy and playfulness behind it

Eiland

Just as his sister had, Eiland was raised with the expectation to know ballroom dances as the son of nobility

Growing up he found the lessons as a drag, and would much rather be out in the field digging than tripping over his own feet for an hour

He was good at dancing, but clearly didn't put in a lot of passion into his movements and his dance partners would be able to tell that he really didn't want to be there

He only really started to enjoy dancing once he met his s/o

that way he had a dance partner he enjoyed, not one that was set up to court him

He'd be showing you off while dancing

Eiland was only taught waltz and variations like the viennese waltz for public usage

But he would definitely enjoy slower and more tender styles like the tango in privacy

Bachelorettes;

Celine

Celine knows how to do most folk style of dancing

She's going to drag you into a hoedown once you're friends you cannot escape it

Reina will make sure you can't escape too lmao

Celine really likes dancing! She doesn't do it often but when the occasion calls for it, she'll do it

She also gives me a lot of irish vibes for some reason, and I can easily see her adapting irish dances like the irish step dance or céilí dance

Celine prefers the excitement and joy found in group dances and likely won't dance alone or in private

Juniper

Juniper would def eat up belly dancing

I feel like its a daily ritual for her

Pop a record in and dance her heart away for 10 mins with Dozy

But other than singular dance styles, she would like partner based styles that are sensual like the Argentine tango

Its slow and requires her to read her partners movements

Idk its going to be the sweetest you've been treated by her because she's so focused on your movements and your reactions to hers

She's good at her 'safe' dances, but she cannot do fast tempos with partners

She will be tripping over you or herself

Reina

Of course Reina likes dancing are you kidding me

She comes from a musical family after all, she'll have some experience

I think she'd know how to do most folk dances by heart, similar to Celine

Like she's been in a hoedown alr

Reina loves to drag her siblings onto the dance floor and likes to improvise her dances to their uncoordinated ones

But if I had to say specific styles that are her favorite...

I would say mambo or west coast swing for ballroom dancing and just general improv for her dancing on her own

Reina looves the WCS because you can work off of your dance partner

Valen

I don't think Valen is one to dance for fun

The most she'd know how to do is just the generic slow dance (think prom dances lol)

I also think that she wouldn't dance by herself for the fun of it, and wouldn't dance in social areas if not required

However, if she had a partner who enjoyed dancing then I'm sure she'd love to dance with you

Valen isn't the greatest at dancing--she's a bit stiff and loses her tempo occasionally-- but she likes to show that she isn't perfect at everything to her partner, and enjoys the closeness

Adeline

I've talked about this before, but Adeline definitely has experience with ballroom dancing

Particularly the waltz/viennese waltz

Any dance with wide, sweeping steps

As a rank of nobility, both she and Eiland were required to learn it

But I believe that she genuinely enjoys it and its one of her only hobbies that can make time for

I think it would be cute if she would teach lessons for the kids in Mistria

She obviously prefers to have a dancing partner, and she'll enjoy having a friend or a romantic partner to dance with

Since she dances often and has years of practice, she is quite good at it

I could see her being interested in ballet (esp pointe)

I hoped y'all liked this. Also apologies for any mistakes on the names of/styles of dances are incorrect! I do not dance on the daily lol

[shokveyv]

Ok i wanna make it very clear this isn't being said out of anger or hate but an small explanation of to why some people might get the wrong impression about the Sari x Sentinel art.

Imagine a family friend having seen a child grow up and had been around them through their childhood. So they have seen them grow up.

But the moment they become 18, they decide "This child i have seen as a baby, a child, a teen, I now want to date them" it comes of very predatory. And creepy.

It is in turn, odd for someone who grew up with an adult in their life. To being attacted to them even when they get older. It makes it seem like there some implications on the child's (now adult) side, that don't make it seem very innocent.

Sentinel is millions of years old. He has seen Sari grow up from a kid, to a teen, and now adult.

While yes they are now both consenting adults, but the implications behind this attraction is what is very suspicious.

I an not saying this was what you beleive in or intended. But your audience, esspcially your western audience might get the impression you do.

I also know English isn't your first language, so I hope this doesn't get lost in translation or come across as aggressive. It's not. I very much adore your work, this is the only time I've been kinda taken off gaurd by your content.

At the very least, I think you should change the way Adults sari outfit looks to make it very clear this isn't her teen self. And people's styles and outfits change when they get older too, so you could have fun coming up with that.

Again, this isn't made out of hate or anger. Just an explanation as to why people might feel so strongly about the art.

Thank you for context explanation to the Western view. I think I understand? It struggles though . Sentinel has never been family friend. He is enemy to human, sees Sari as infestation canon.

Canonical, Sentinel Prime few interact with Sari. Doesn't know the name! He never see alt mode [unless I misremember]. In story, not see Sari in ten or more years. On Cybertron ten year later. Sees Sari of her alt mode [it is a robot!] and he wonder who she is. He was not interest in her as organic [not as child, not as teen], canonical. Canon, he hate organic! Why be interest in her? Story, he works to get acclimatize to this organic form when! he learns she is not a robot only. The text you say is implying he has seen her grown. Canon, he did not care about her and did not acknowledge her more than a contamination [he is bad as Megatron MTMTE, wanting death of organic]. He doesn't recognize her when she reveals organic at first [it is how little he has ever seen for the Sari].

Canonically, she still a stranger to him.

Thank you for explaining the hesitation. It seem, there are many people don't understand in Japan, it is common for 10+ year ago, one child and adult meet, but in when child is to become adult, they may cross red string of fate and meet again! It is exposing xenophobia I did not expect. It is okay to misunderstand. It is not okay to insult my culture because one finds it icky.

Distressing, people say I should change her cloth. I not change cloth wardrobe from high school. I feel, I am being shamed. It is humiliating. There is something wrong with me for not changing my clothes... It was going to have her wear different cloth in comic, Sari is fashionista! ^^\ I was so excited to see the wear different dress and makeup cool! The drawing is cover of the full comic

I write about: "In my story, he not know of her robot form. Years later, he sees her on Cybertron in robot form. Wonders, "Who is she?" stalks her for many year until he finally gets the chance to ask more. She doesn't like him because he organic fears [he doesn't know robot-Sari is organic]. She ride with Drift for long time but as she grow, she finds divisive [Drift is become unstable], so strays alone. This is on top of fighting against the Megatron release from Trypticon. Sentinel losing Magnus status humbles him, Predacons become a major threat, Optimus Magnus, Sari starts to understand Sentinel is not as big mean as before. He grows as character. She begrudgingly accepts it

Sari not written to fall for Sentinel. Only recent in writing this story did I see to involve Sentinel [he had recent fall away from Magnus status, Optimus picks it up]. Is ten years of plot before she meets Sentinel as robot version on Cybertron. It distresses to see people calling me pedophile. I work on total story for 9 month.

But, people are not okay to read,s not okay to write character grows, mature, having adventures on the way. I regret writing this story, knows now people don't want to read stories of character beyond canon. The context is too burden on the psyche. I have learned my lesson. I will not write outside of canon again. I am a disappointment.

Sincerely for the explanation, is thanking you. Maybe it is better to keep Japan only release, then. It will be understood there. ? [I pay to have last comic translation to English, I did not want the xenophobia me of the past. I want to be better! but it is not going to be happy for English. I truly this doesn't portray as me hating English speaks].

[kaiserposting]

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

hi. a few days ago i read perpetual chase for greener grass and i asked if it was okay to write you an essay. well. i did and it is 25 pages long (double-spaced, w/ a title page, footnotes, and a bibliography, i'm not insane. honest.) on sakura characterization and misogyny and a little about why i like your fanfic so much. you can i think read this here, if the link works: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/bicwciufqc49203xmvzoa/you-didnt-ask-for-this-and-im-sorry.pdf?rlkey=fcob3k3lvokzkfg2gi0z3hh2f&st=83vb0rm6&dl=0

it's not particularly funny or interesting and while i try to stick to my thesis i'm sure there is a lot in here that doesn't need to be. as a warning it has been forever since i read naruto and i have nver read boruto so i be wrong on some places, although i did try my best to research and support my claims. to save you some time if you choose to read it, i'll break down the sections:

page 1: title

pages 2-4 (very top): intro with context about naruto, with thesis starting at the very bottom of 3

pages 4-5 (midway): on canon sakura

pages 5-7 (very top): explanation of misogyny and premise of essay

pages 7-16: analysis of sakura's characterization through 8 fanfic examples

pages 16 (bottom) - 18 (midway): analysis of perpetual chase for greener grass specifically

pages 18-21 (top): reflection on examples and their significance

pages 21-23: another analysis of perpetual chase for greener grass and what makes it so good

pages 24-25: bibliography

you really don't need to read this all and you don't need to feel obligated to write a response. ik i sound insecure but its more like i don't want anytone to get their hopes up on what is technically a silly-for-funsies essay dkfjsd THAT SAID... i do invite feedback especially constructive criticism or discussion on my points... i don't want to use your blog as a platform for it more than this so if i may plug my side blog @moonlitjellies people can talk to me there with questions concerns thoughts etc

thanks

OK YAYYY SAKURA DISCUSSION TIMR

First off all...... Here is the link in the ask for anyone who wants to read What were talking about: x / link to the fanfiction i wrote taht is mentioned in the essay: x

Anywaysssss

This is funny

I do think nowadaysss... or like for a few years since I became an oldr teenager and then an adult... the fun of being into Naruto comes Mostly from the fandom side of it. Like all the reinterpreting the characters, meta, AUs, etc, I think are prolific more here than most other fandoms (perhaps because in other fandoms it's just... less necessary lol). There was a lot of wasted potential in kishimoto's writing Unforchies... Particularly I am a fan of reading and writing about Sakura ^_^^_^^_^ but we knew that lol so why am I saying it?

Fun fact: Sakura is actually a lot more popular and beloved among the Japanese audience. I don't really know what that says about the Western audience & their expectations for the heroines 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

YAYYYY WE GET A MENTION OF MY LEAST FAVORITE TROPE WHICH IS Homophobic Sakura randomly getting in the way of their yaoi and being evil. Wait the fact that the first fanfic you mentioned was written/last updated in 2024 is wild wow.. I was reading it under the assumption it's some 2009-2014 FF.net relic RKWEKREJR (because I think that trope was more predominant then. I know you yourself are not dogging on this fic or condemning it so maybe I'm being mean but I do think the production of such a thing in Todays Age a bit ridiculous personally). Although it does provide a good example of uplifting being a gay man through belittling women, making them seem frivolous and incomplex in comparison, an efficient example of a still existing social trend

IKTR #girlboss #femalemanipulator 😍😍😍😍😍

This is an irrelevant side note... as a Sakura scholar... I do think of her as a tomboy. Particularly in part 1 I find her presentation as one of a tomboy badly performing femininity because she thinks that's what will attract the object of her affection because He's a Boy.

I don't believe it fits Sakura or most of the Naruto women who are ninjas and career women and clan leaders to be stay at home mothers or even mothers at all in Boruto, but it was for sequel bait so idk how much we can condemn Kishimoto for that writing decision lolllll. Like obviously there is patriarchal bias here (having a family maybe to him and many shounen writers comes across as wrapping up the story as like a sense of "achievement" and "fulfillment" has been made without having to write an extensive epilogue esp. for the girls due to existing preconceptions that women only get life affirmation from becoming mothers, though I do not agree that is the case, and a lot of shounen post-canon families, not just those in Naruto, ironically come across as very unhappy due to such fumbling), but I think it was mostly an excuse to have a big chunk of the cast off-duty and have children so that Boruto could exist and the kids could do stuff. There is both misogyny and misogyny weaponized to create opportunity here Ig as a marketing ploy imo (also possibly to come across as more likeable to the audience bc they are mothers now, taking advantage of the existing mass subconscious bias).

Waittt this is word salad whell whatever im not editing it idc...take it or leave it

Im sooo sorry but I DIDN'T EXPECT WEREWOLF ITACHI TO SHOW UP HERE 😭😭😭. Ok anyways let me not speak because that's not the point of what you're talking about anyway it just caught me off guard...

OK ANYWAY WE COME TO THE PART I GET MOST EXCITED TALKING ABOUT... MYSELF !! 😍

Since you start off by saying we the audience are meant to like Sakura I guess I'll talk a little bit about how I perceive her here (which I don't believe I have done before).

It's hard to say if she is completely likeable here or not. I think among many of the characters who make shitty decisions and say shitty things or show unfavorable personality traits, Sakura is more "agreeable" and easy to like than them. But I also think a lot of her actions are a bit ambiguous. I know you talk within the essay strictly about Sakura and not so much so the specifics of the Ino-Sakura friendship/almost-romance or the Reader-Ino-Sakura situation but I will talk about it here since that's the reason why I find Sakura slightly "questionable" (and the reason why that decision was made).

Sakura is presented in my fic as having more of a "traditional" upbringing, I don't believe super tradcath freak parents but more so what the average woman could possibly go thru - raised with certain patriarchal expectations. I think here she doesn't get in a lot of trouble and is generally perceived as others to be good, quiet, restrained as you called it, i.e. fitting the patriarchal ideal.

But because of this, I think some resentment (subconscious or to some extent she is aware of it) starts to build. She doesn't like these expectations and she doesn't like herself for seemingly fitting into them and she doesn't like others for viewing her that way. So she starts acting out slightly in a way others wouldn't expect of her like for example hanging out "with the boys" even after Ino stops going, smoking weed, whatever who cares... But the questionable part is particularly in the form of Y/n (who is at this point Ino's partner) and Ino herself.

Y/n very obviously I think has a wandering eye. They are not quite infidelious but they come across often like they want to cheat. I think Sakura is aware of this, particularly that she is in some way the apple of their eye at certain moments (unknown whether she is the only one), but indulges in it because it gives her a feeling of "being bad" and fulfills her desire to be "rebellious".

Ino is her best friend who Sakura is defensive and protective of and thinks no one deserves her (I think there are some homoerotic feelings at play pretty obviously here but she was raised in such a heteronormative way she doesn't register things like that, which is made obvious when Y/n says they think Naruto and Sasuke are gay and Sakura is like huh really? - not judgemental of it but just like genuinely surprised), yet at the same time she is getting some amount of gratification from Y/n's attention on her and there are many times where she doesn't seem interested in telling Ino that or telling Y/n off (almost as if she doesn't want to lose their attention not because she likes them as a person but because of what their attention fulfills for her in this phase of her life - the feeling of "acting out" and "being bad"). Anyway I consider this decision of hers to do this some shade of gray but I do not believe it's a crime and I think the fic itself focusing on her POV still leaves her as portrayed positively i.e. just as a person who sometimes makes sympathetic decisions and other times doesn't and who has many problems in her life that lead to those things.

Also I tried to be gender ambiguous about the Reader here as usual in most of my works but since the story largely deals with gender and sexuality I would describe their character as functioning as "socially male" whether that be just a regular cis boy, some closeted genderfuck spectrum case, or a butch lesbian who was rejected from the typical girl groups in childhood and therefore tries to fit in more with "the boys", or any other possibility - which is why their attention serves Sakura who otherwise is oblivious of LGBT things to an extent. Like for example Naruto and Sasuke both come across as pretty typical boys so she does not consider they might be gay (again coming from the way she was raised where someone is only obviously gay if they are GNC - "if you got a pixie cut the neighbors will think ur a lesbiannnn and that's badddd it's badddd if they think ur a lesbiannnn").

I also tried to do a bit of a role reversal flip here where instead of Sakura solely exists as a one note character who is defined by her love for Sasuke (common in both Naruto and fanfiction), it is Sasuke who comes across as quite one dimensional and is defined by his relationship with Sakura instead. There are several hints that his character and story here are more complicated but it is simply not of interest. It's a bit of a fringe choice and makes his character portrayal look admittedly weak and OOC/inaccurate but I quite enjoyed presenting it that way you know as a little laugh to myself.

Yayayayaya lovely work thank you so much! I was glad to read it and enjoyed it a lot, though the topic of misogyny/gender roles does often make me quite angry (particularly why this one shot was written with a lot of vitriol in like two writing sessions, I think I was mad at the time about all this, like straight up just woke up angry about it) I think it's important to engage with it and I thik u did a good job ^_^. I don't have any criticisms of it, I think it was solid and engaging 👍 but maybe I am biased... lol. Thank you for writing and sending it!! Hopefulyl my reply wasn't stupid/irrelevant lawl

[chemicalarospec]

my dad invited me and my brother to watch Firefly with him and it's actually really good??? (idk why I expected it not to be-- probably because the last time I tried one of his old Spaceship Shows (the one with the puppets) it was too sexist and too slow to get through.) First of all it should have been ILLEGAL for them to not have a single Chinese character in this show, but as a Chinese person I do like the aesthetics of the show and how they mashed up traditional Western and Chinese styles. The pronunciation is hilariously bad (IF ONLY THEY HAD A CHINESE ACTOR, HUH), but I like it because it's funny. (Me and my brother do laugh out loud every time.)

But the characters are actually so good?? First of all we got THREE FOUR (I didn't count right lmao) female main characters, no smurfette principal here! One of them doesn't even have any implied romance so far okay technically River doesn't but I was thinking of Kaylee and she has a crush on Simon lol. Kaylee, my favorite -- I LOVE how her appreciation of girly feminine stuff is portrayed as something that should NOT be mocked and does not negate her more "masculine" role as the mechanic and that she can nerd out WHILE being feminine. There's also how Mal, the main character, and Zoe, his first mate, have a longstanding and deep connection that's entirely platonic! Men and women CAN just be friends! Do note, Zoe (who is awesome btw) is married to another man, the pilot who is honestly so far the most boring character, and Mal is interested in Inara. Who, speaking of, I also love how so far Inara's profession as a (unionized it seems!) sex worker is treated with respect. River is the most ~okay~ in terms of sexist writing as a weak and mysterious and mentally unwell but sexy woman, but since she's not the only woman it doesn't feel like a big deal. (I feel like she's going to become more grounded, at least I hope so because I want to see more of her personality!) Misogynistic comments are challenged when made! Of course the writing isn't perfect but it's a LOT better than what I expected (and if a modern show didn't do the things I'm praising here I would be offended btw).

Also River's brother Simon is a complete dandy (I think it would be stereotyping for me to call him gay lmao), I love that for him. Episode one he bleeds from his mouth like a dying c-drama boy-- I just had a Vision of the resemblance and now I can't get it out of my head, all he needs to do his open his eyes super wide and then he'd be a dying c-drama boy. He cares for his sister so much, it's super sweet even though he REALLY sucks at dealing with psychosis(? would that be the term to describe her episodes?). Book is an instant icon of course, he's just there forcibly being the moral compass lol. Christianity in space smh. Despite being mr sexism I also love Jayne's character - he's funny (love a guy who's always trying to kill) and the question of his loyalty is intriguing. Mal is a kind of a Generic Protagonist Man but his backstory is solid enough that means his brooding attitude actually makes sense. The "Badger" side character is funny/interesting too, and my bro says he looks like Captian Sparklez haha. (Wash (Zoe's husband) is there. Sometimes he's funny.)

Going back to the design, I am partial to Victorian or whatever aesthetics, so I love how they threw that in along with the cowboy thing, and there's a lot of individual pieces merging Chinese aesthetics with that that I think do a great job. It speaks to my mixed heart <3. The costuming is actually so fun (mostly speaking to crowd scenes), so many characters get to wear distinctive outfits . Also kind of Killjoys vibes because they say "shiny" haha. I respect how space shots have no environment noise, only cowboy music lollll. Visual effects are interesting; you can always Tell but it does seem to me the best they could do at the time.

Wow this post turned out longer than I expected. So a recommendation for Firefly I guess! Forewarning, the parts with the "Reavers" are pretty dark/grotesque -- actually, there's significant violence throughout the show, the Reavers are just the worst.

[bookscandlesnbts]

Just a few random thoughts. Personally I think Jungkook is sincere and isn’t playing a role right now. I think he tends to be a bit impulsive and obsessive when he has something in his mind. Nowadays, he wants to make sure we don’t see him as a teenager and the forever maknae. I never took him for a baby, I’m well aware he’s 26 now and he’s a grown ass man, hell I’m older than him 😅 So I don’t exactly get why he’s so hell-bent on that. For a while now the fandom has been mostly thirsting over him and noticing how much he has grown up. I think Jimin is being babied a lot in comparison. Or maybe that’s just in my circles? But I respect what he feels and the direction he wants to take. I don’t like it, because for this chapter 2 I was looking for something a bit more personal from each member, a way to connect to each one of them. And so far it has been the case, except for him. Which makes me a bit sad as he is one of my bias, along with Jimin and Hobi. Hopefully one day he’ll get back to writing his own songs because it’s when I connect to him the most, but it’s not his goal at the moment and I respect that.

That being said I truly hope we’ll get at least one ballad from him on his album, and no more featuring… it’s the 3rd one now, 4th if we add Dreamers but that was a special song, and like many of your previous anons I’m losing interest. My excitement for his album has worn off. With Left and Right then Seven and now 3D it’s getting a bit too much, all over the place and lacking some sort of uniqueness. I want to hear Jeon Jungkook, not another western perfectly-pre-packaged production that could have been given to any other pop artist. I’m not really seeing a multiple-dimension Jungkook right now, which is fine but just not suited for I expect from the artists I follow. I wonder if the debates around his songs stems from the way we engage with music in general. I’m going to be honest but personally I don’t stream. I’ve never and I won’t, it’s not the way I like to consume music. Actually, I don’t ‘consume’ music. I don’t listen to the radio, I carefully pick up and choose what I listen to. I guess music is serious business for me hahaha and not something I listen to casually? It’s not some background noise for when I do this and that, I like to really sit down and listen. Does that sound stupid? I don’t know. Sorry, I’m rambling. I’m not against a fun summer hit here and there but I guess I’m a bit of a snob. I’m also very picky about the lyrics and I too find 3D gross, and I won’t apologize for it. It’s definitely not subtle and not even sensual. And I don’t have a problem with sexual songs, heck one of my favorite artists is french singer Serge Gainsbourg, if you know you know ;)

To sum it up, I’m having mixed feelings. I love Jungkook, so I will listen to his album and if he’s happy then I’m happy for him but as an artist right now, his music is not for me anymore and it makes me a tad bit sad. But eh, we still have his previous songs to go back to :)

Whew, if you weren’t an anon and I knew your identity, I would say that we could be friends. I very much so hold a lot of these opinions. JK has one of the best vocals in the business BAR NONE. No one not even the kpoppies can dismiss that fact. Yet, these songs don’t showcase that??? They are songs that anyone could sing. Sure, JK has some great ad libs here and there. There is arguably nothing wrong with the way that he sounds but it’s also not remarkable or impressive vocally in my opinion.

I also don’t consume music. I too am older anon. I’m 30 almost 31 and I listen to what I like. One of the things I like and admire a lot is excellent, lush songwriting. You want a stunning hetero sexual song about sex with women? Work Song by Hozier or really any song by Hozier. I also admire the lyrics of Frank Ocean in the R&B scene, Kendrick Lamar in the Rap genre, and indie girls like Phoebe Bridgers and Lana Del Rey. All of these are just to name a few. Western music can be high quality and have amazing lyrics. I get that JK is going for mass general population appeal, so that’s why this doesn’t resonanate with me. I can be pretty snobby too. In fact, a lot of the music I love is what Joon shares to his stories and as we know, he’s one of the lyrical masterminds behind BTS.

I also love Jungkook and I’ll continue to love him even if I’m not going to listen to 3D and Seven on repeat. I will of course listen to his solo album too when it comes out. I fear it will be more of the same which isn’t my taste, but that’s okay. And it’s okay to like it. I’m one of those people that really likes to dive into songs lyrically. Some people don’t care about lyrics. The lyrics more than anything are what drew me to BTS in the first place. JK wants to be a different kind of solo pop star. That’s fine, I’ll just wait until he’s back in the studio with his band mates producing songs that I know will be fire and I won’t care what the general public thinks about those.

[thegambitgazette]

Expectations: In Which Diverse Stories Have Extra Criteria

CW: mentions of racism, brutality, colonization, more of a vent post than anything informative

As much as I don’t like it, I feel as though the best way to start this off is to provide context on my own background. I’ll get to why I don’t like it in a moment, so bear with me. I’m a first generation born Filipino American. My parents are from Tarlac (and a DNA test shows that we also have lineage traced back to Northern and Western Philippines as well some Central & Eastern and Southern China), and they raised us in a semi-traditional Filipino fashion. They didn’t teach us the language in fear of us being made fun of by other Americans, but we did grow up eating the food, respecting our elders, and practicing Filipino Catholic traditions that my parents grew up with in their homeland.

Needless to say, the remarks that followed me into my adult life have pulled my resonance with my heritage in every which way. To other Filipinos and other Asians, I looked part white, and they would ask for pictures of my parents for “proof” that I wasn’t. True story: I remember one of my college friends grabbing my phone and showing her friends in an “I told you so” manner, as if my race was some mystery for them to crack. It wasn’t. I fully told them from the start that I’m Filipino. My Titas would tell me that I looked “mestiza,” and how many young girls in the Philippines would want to look the way I do, and I didn’t know how to explain to them that I started hating how pale I am because of how other Asians would assume my race because of it.

At the same time, my non-Asian counterparts (yes, majority of the people who made these comments were white) would assume that I was some hodge-podge of all Asian cultures. I remember my high school teacher showing us a Vietnamese medicine commercial (this was a class on medical malpractice, and, if I remember correctly, she wanted to show us how medicine is advertised internationally), and she walked into class saying, “The only one who might understand this clip is Rory.” She’d used my deadname at the time, but you get the idea. Jaw-dropped, I had to say, “I don’t speak Vietnamese. I’m not Vietnamese.”

I know, what does this have to do with writing? We’ll get there; don’t worry.

Around 2018, the term “decolonization” entered my realm of awareness. I would see other children of immigrants from all over the world dive into their heritage and continue their ancestors’ practices. Thinking that this would be a genuine way to connect with my roots (I had, and still have, a complicated relationship with the Catholic Church, so I was excited to hear about other Filipino faiths), I began doing my research. At the time, I had a sizable following on TikTok, and I would post entertainment-only sort of videos regarding my spirituality and craft, and I even had to put out a video explaining why I didn’t go into more detail with the Filipino aspects of it. I wasn’t as learned with it as I am now, and I was afraid of the criticism and backlash others would have towards it. In hindsight, I really shouldn’t have given a sh*t, but the internet, as we all know, is cruel.

See, I use my writing as a way to connect with myself and other people, mainly. Yes, I have a story to tell, but a majority of my purpose is to discover and process my own emotions and findings. I use what I observed in society and how I grew up as well as what I learned from my own research. I won’t go into detail of the racism Asian Americans face nor the brutality we have endured over the years; frankly, if you are not already aware of it, Google is free.

Still, my work seemed to be followed by one main criticism: this isn’t yours to tell.

There were a myriad of reasons behind it. I wasn’t born in the Philippines, I’m white-passing, I wasn’t raised with anitismo, other marginalized groups have it “exponentially” worse, etc. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t affect my writing. I froze. I grappled with what I was “allowed” to tell based on all of these criteria. I’d pull up article after article of what I learned in hopes to justify the reasons for including certain aspects in my work; but because of my own upbringing, it never seemed to be enough. What’s worse, a portion of these criticisms completely dismissed the aspects of racism that Asian Americans have spoken up about time and time again (once again, because other’s have it worse or because there just wasn’t enough awareness about it for it to be “valid.”)

Imagine that. We read of thousands of iterations of medieval fantasies from white authors, thousands of European fae romances, thousands of Greek mythological retellings, and treat it as the default. There is no question of whether the author is Greek or Gaelic enough or if their ancestors played a huge role during the medieval era. Hell, my first published work was based on Greek and Celtic mythology, and no one talked about my race then, whether it was about how white I look or how I'm not white at all.

But gods help us if a minority doesn’t fit the ultimate minority model while telling their stories. To be honest, this was why I started disliking the need to talk about my background; it has begun to feel as though it is more to provide credentials rather than to satiate genuine curiosity from other people.

Yes, I do recognize that I wasn’t born in the Philippines and that I was raised Catholic, but I’ve come to terms with how I feel like that is okay.

First of all, if we want to hear from more diverse writers, we cannot keep projecting this “model minority” expectation towards them. Otherwise, it will discourage other diaspora writers, such as myself, from connecting and relaying their heritage in fear of not being “[insert marginalized group here] enough,” whatever that even means at this point.

Secondly, our history is full of movement, whether it was by our own will, such as my parents’ decision to come to America, or if it was forced upon us by our oppressors. As such, those raised outside of their homeland only further enriches our culture, not dilutes it.

To filter the perspectives of or to project your own biases towards diaspora writers is to promote the narratives of the colonizers. We are valid, and our stories should be, too.

[risingshards]

Me reading Marvel Ultimate comics turns into a tangent about Paul

I've been on a bit of a western comics kick lately and have been reading the new Ultimate Spider Man and Ultimate X Men series. I actually went to my local comic shop to get an issue! Fun! (Also meaning to get to the other new Ultimate series like Black Panther and uhh Ultimates? but ongoings are so expensive I gotta wait til they're cheaper) I've really been enjoying them! The last time I got into western comics was when House of X | Powers of X was going so I guess Hickman gets my attention a lot. Spider-Man raising kids with MJ and a heaping amount of trans allegory make USM a fun read, and Peach Momoko's X-Men is really unique and different.

But my recent curiosity has me looking up other ongoing comics and I've discovered this new character Paul in the other Spider-Man series who seems designed to be hated. (Now I'm not reading this one I'm getting this info secondhand so disclaimer I could be wrong about all of it).

Apparently after a time skip in that series (this is a different universe than USM) Peter and MJ are broken up and MJ is dating this dude. Fans HATE him. Just that as a character I could see, I've seen Spidey stuff where there's another guy MJ's with and Peter gets all angsty about that, but...this guy seems to be more than that? There's some backstory where he's the son of some evil scientist dimension guy and Paul apparently helped genocide a whole dimension? And the whole time the story is saying how he's better than Peter or something? This arc has been going on for years.

Is he a self insert, it would be kind of pathetic to have your coolguy date MJ and kind of hilarious. The author is said to be dealing with a divorce, so is this some like working through it kind of deal where the author is putting himself in Spider-Man's shoes and writing about how it feels to have his wife divorce him or something? That is...much sadder.

Like look at this fucking guy, he seems designed to be hated (and changes his design heavily every other page???). I giggle just looking at him, like what is going on with this guy.

I think the funniest answer would be that he's some kind of self insert gone horribly horribly wrong and they expected audiences to like this guy (let him get bitten by a spider and give him powers and his own spinoff in that case it'd be HILARIOUS), but my guess is that he's rage bait. Someone without a lot of thought put into them designed to make longtime readers that aren't going anywhere rage and talk about it.

The only mediums I've seen that actively rage bait their niche audiences so much are superhero comics and pro wrestling and the way they do it is very similar. It's as if they know the core audience isn't going anywhere so they think constantly pissing them off is the best way to keep engagement up in a "any reaction is a good reaction" type thing.

The comic Spidey fandom seems to really want MJ and Peter together, and Marvel comics folks seem to very much not want that, or think they make more money baiting people into thinking it's going to happen, which is like a wrestling company teasing a wrestler winning a title that the fans want to see happen only to pull the rug out from under them.

So it's interesting to compare the Ultimate series I'm reading which are really fun and rewarding, to one seemed actively designed to punish the reader.

The idea of writing something intended for the audience to disdain it is foreign to me. If I tried writing to piss my audience off, they'd just stop reading I think. But it is kind of morbidly fascinating to think about the process of having so much disdain for your audience that you'd write something like this. Like the mechanics of writing something designed to make people enraged is so antithetical to my writing (which at the very least starts with pleasing the audience of myself lol) that it becomes something fascinating, albeit in a "this is bad but I can't look away it's too funny" way.

[lady-of-endless]

Overwatch matchup trade for lovely @pinkusmaximus

Author's Note: Thank you so much for being patient and understanding! I had so much fun writing this. You seem so fun and lovely! I hope you'll enjoy it.

(lovely gif is not mine, I thank the owner)

I match you with...

Cole Cassidy

- Oh God he would have a blast listening to your jokes and zingers. He praises you for being better than him at those, and to have Cole Cassidy admit this is a huge thing.

- He's also protective as hell over those who he cares about and is glad that you are too. It makes him feel like you two are having each other's backs and that's a new feeling for him. A lovely feeling, of course. However, this won't always be a good thing... There might be situations in which you both risk yourselves for the safety of the other.

- Cassidy might not notice your ability to be intimidating, at first. You're just so nice and cute that he doesn't expect you to have this ability. That's a big mistake. I imagine you two hanging at a bar and someone annoys you. Of course, he sighs, puts on his hat, and gets ready to interfere, but you turn to him and tell him to sit back down. Cassidy is confused but intrigued as he watches you in action, intimidating that person away. Damn, that's quite the show...

- He was a loner for too long, and your kindness filled up all those empty spaces in his heart. He's not used to someone caring for him and this makes him less reckless during overwatch missions. The thought of your worried expression is the only thing that can compete with his stubbornness.

- About stubbornness. Your tenacious way of handling things is a trait that he admires a lot but also triggers his protectiveness. He is worried that you might be pushing yourself too hard.

- You'd say that Cassidy is a full extrovert but no. Oh no. He, too, needs both time and trust to express his true feelings and open up. With this being said, it might feel like a slow burn even if you wouldn't expect it.

- Your interest in working things with your hands and creating jewelry is endearing. I can imagine him cleaning his Peacekeeper next to you while you work. It's a silent, chill atmosphere. He is not the man to ask for things, being used to what he has and what he gets alone, but he asks you if you could make a charm he can attach to his revolver. He'll cherish it forever, always looking at it during missions and thinking of you.

- Cassidy is so used to motor riding alone in silence that when you decide to go with him and start humming a certain tune in his ear while traveling, it really makes his heart melt. Karaoke night with Cassidy? More like him getting accidentally drunk and singing to you (some western corny love songs). Also, he has a nice singing voice, but of course, he prefers hearing yours more often.

- Your love language baffles Cassidy. Him? To get random small gifts? AND made by you? Why? You're able to get him surprised with anything you decide to give him. He's not used to this gesture made out of love and not out of other hidden intentions (he went through a lot, he knows that strategy). Gift-giving might not be his love language, but he'll try to get something for you, too. He'll always tell you how you're spoiling him rotten.

- Your preferred love language when receiving is acts of service? He's your man. Besides words of affirmation, Cassidy uses acts of service as a way to express his care too. He'll keep you motivated when you feel low, he'll remind you to take breaks, he'll try to help with anything that might be overwhelming you.

Runner-ups:

- Junker Queen (duh): The absolute power couple. People would be terrified of you two. She might be the Queen but she'll treat you like a queen as well.

- Junkrat: You got him wrapped around your finger with your jokes. He's listening and blushing furiously. God give Roadhog patience because Junkrat won't shut up about you.

As a side note, those two lovely runner-ups might start fighting against each other to win you over. Let the chaos begin.

[violet-moonstone]

the MCU's rhetoric about political resistance/change is often so insidious. the only time we see people who want to change the status quo, theyre destructive and often incapable of feeling compassion for anyone outside of the group theyre fighting for. so the only two options are siding with the cruel antagonist who wants real change and the heroes who will make small concessions so that the audience feels good but ultimately they uphold the harmful status quo. I'm not saying this doesn't happen in real life, but when a trope pretty much becomes the default, you start to see the writer's political messages coming out. ESPECIALLY when the primary threat comes from exploited working class people/oppressed minorities and not the colonialist powers and corporations that put them in that position.

sidenote: when i watched black panther 2 and realized that the primary conflict was going to be black people fighting indigenous people and that western hegemony and exploitation of resources was just a side plot, I immediately lost all hope for that film. I loved the music, the visuals and the fight scenes, but the writing?? i was so disappointed. All the dissatisfaction I felt from Black Panther 1 came flooding back. Before they were pitting us against each other, this time it was against another oppressed group...hhhhhhh. anyway jokes on me for expecting different. I really just need to read The Deep (and if its anything like the song its based on, its probably much better executed than wakanda forever).

anyway, yes, the audience has the freedom to see things with nuance but i dont think most people will (because "its just a fun superhero move, why are you taking it so seriously?"), and I dont think the writers want them to - otherwise they'd start including more nuanced characters rather than villains who we are shown have to be defeated for the greater good, no matter how valid their arguments may be. and I understand that the vast majority of people are not watching superhero movies looking for nuance and depth but thats all the more reason why so much of the MCU's writing is concerning. Every time we're faced with a troubling political/ecological debate, the conclusion is that whoever tried to change things was in the wrong, and we'll make a small concession at the end so everyone feels somewhat satisfied and doesn't really have to confront any uncomfortable implications.

ex: infinity war shows us Thanos' eco fascism as the main (and only?) criticism of the overconsumption of resources. I may be wrong but I don't remember anyone talking about sustainability as vital solution or anything...and in FATWS the conversation is STILL about the pros and cons of the Snap - not anything to do with sustainability...because that would require the audience to be confronted with real life political implications that are bit too close to home. Even to have one or a few characters suggest an alternative and for Thanos to shoot it down because he doesn't trust people to be sustainable, and because he truly thinks killing people is the best possible plan (which makes no sense btw because it implies that all species are overpopulated at the same and that every single species in the universe consumes resources in the same way..they made movie!Thanos *seem* so intelligent but his thought process literally makes no sense. and fans bend over backwards to justify it because "hes the mad titan" even though you clearly cant use that defense based on the way he's written in the film. The writers clearly want us to see him as rational but cruel...anyway its not 2018 so let me stop beating the dead horse of this tired topic)

basically, theres rarely (if ever) a middle between the two extremes, because theres no room for that. There has to be a good guy and a bad guy...perhaps a well intentioned and misguided bad guy, but ultimately still a bad guy. The options are: pretty much nothing but minor things change and the problem still exists OR everything changes but it would require the violent villain getting their way and killing innocent people in the process.

anyway thank god for the spiderverse , which actually does the opposite (and thank god spiderverse is not directly part of the MCU and the writers actually have something to say). I think the loki show may be doing something similar but im not caught up so idk. loki to me feels like spiderverse but with less narrative cohesion

[olderthannetfic]

Related to the difference in numbers between m/m and f/f. Recently I compared some kpop fandoms to others and found out there's a really big gap in bg and gg even though in non transformative spaces some of the gg are more popular than the bg.

I'm not trying to make any judgments but I'm interested in what makes bg fans more likely to write fic considering that female idols also have fun personalities and dynamics with other members that are shippable.

I don't really think it's related to fan's sexuality because a lot of bg fans (like me) identify as lesbian and there are also straight women in gg fandom.

--

Interesting question. I wonder how it varies by platform and space.

Wattpad has a metric fuckton of female self/Jungkook male idol. Boy groups are going to be more popular for that because self inserty het is more popular on Wattpad than self inserty f/f. The amount of fic that's idol/idol (or gen about idols interacting) seems a lot smaller. I do see some BTS/Blackpink ships along with the m/m for boy groups.

AO3 is slash central and was before kpop RPF got big there. I checked out BTS because there was a lot of m/m fic and then ended up liking their music. My second most listened to group is probably KARD, and I know next to nothing about them as people. I wouldn't say I have a particularly informed or broad knowledge of idol groups, which affects what fic I'll be into even if I like a lot of random songs I've run across on youtube. I think fic popularity can be self-feeding: people check out fictional canons because they have active fic fandoms too.

Last time I looked at AsianFanfics, I think I remember seeing male idol/OFC and male idol/female idol but not so much male idol/male idol. I've never been a regular there though.

The fact that it isn't about sexuality for everyone doesn't mean that sexuality doesn't have an influence on the big picture. I suspect the twin forces of more fic writers being attracted to men and more fic writers finding female bodies more contested are in play.

In my case, for me to care about shippy fanfic, I need to be attracted to the characters/celebrities. There's a massive disparity there for me.

Male idols are too scrawny for me to want to fuck in a lot of cases and have boring plastic surgery sameface, but some of them are pretty muscular, their clothing often covers up the full extent of their skinniness, and at least a few of them look different from each other. Their dances are also hot. Female idols go even more overboard on the plastic surgery sameface, are pre-selected to look even more similar, and have legs like twigs combined with tiny hotpants that show these off. Their dances just irritate me. It's what the industry forces on them, but it's a massive turn-off. KARD at least has kind of weird intermediate dances.

Yoon Mi-rae is smokin' hot. I like Hwasa. But a lot of women in SK entertainment are a hard no for me. I love Blackpink's music, but I'd never be attracted to them. Well... maybe when they're 50.

I have no idea what fic-writing Korean fans think, but for me as a Westerner, male idols are a pleasant change from male celebrities in the US. They're expected to dress up, look pretty, and wear makeup. They're normative in their own context but read differently for me, inaccurate as that is. Female idols are the same old ultra-femme looks on steroids. I certainly don't need more of that in my life.

Maybe if I gave a shit about Fanxy Red's music, I'd be in that fandom. They're the gg that presents like a bg. They're originally from China but relocated.

Hmm... Yeah, I could be into that.