#things i wish i could change

[youonlyzingonce]

I miss you and I miss what we had. Ive hated these last 2581 days we've gone since we last held each other. I miss my best friend. I miss feeling whole. I'm tired, I'm so tired Savanah, since the day we met you have always felt like home to my soul and I havent slept well without you in my arms this whole time. I miss talking to you. I miss running errands with you, grocery shopping with you, doing life with you. I miss you. You're the only girl I've truly ever wanted to live/annoy & create a family full of kids, grandkids, dogs and animals forever with.

I miss you. I miss waking up to you. And I miss falling asleep holding you in my arms. I miss you. I miss it all. I've loved you since the day we met. And I will for the rest of my life.

But as much as miss how everything used to be. Well how no matter how many times I pray about it. No matter how many times I wish want a star. No matter how many times I ask Santa. I'm not foolish enough to think that they ever could. I've changed a lot as I'm sure you have. But way deep down we both know the feelings we once had are still and will always be there between us.

And even if God and the universe were to create a miracle where our lives once again intersected, things won't ever be the same as the once were...... But That doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing or not worth trying. We could be an even stronger couple than we once had ever been, if we implemented the knowledge gained and lessons we both have gained & we actually communicate. Remembering we are a TEAM working together towards a mutual goal.

Because for me when I would say that I loved you Always and forever. To the Moon and back. It was because I meant it was my whole heart.

Maybe I need to befriend a scientist, who Is studying time travel. So I can go back in time. Do things differently that time. Handle certain things better. Assert myself as more of a leader for our family. Make God more of a cornerstone in our relationship. Making sure we communicated about everything. Not going to Oregon this time. And asking for your days blessing for your hand on that 1st fishing trip he & I went on. And asking you to marry me right away rather than waiting for all the Dominos to be set up like I had.

...... But who am I kidding. Even if I did in the future find somebody with a time machine this would be the reality of it....

And so I think I'm doomed to now forever miss you. You were the love of my life. And I'll never feeling what I did for you towards another. I'll never again give anyone what's left of the shattered pieces of my broken heart.

For a zing only happens

..... ONCE IN YOUR LIFE

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[cubbihue]

Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)

The "Last Straw"?

Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.

But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.

The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[raspbrrytea]

I finally got around to reading Hunger Pangs by @thebibliosphere and I couldn’t not make fanart!

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

you can't stop me lovin' myself ♡ for @kimtaegis

[valtsv]

hold on. i think i've just successfully articulated why VAL's power doesn't work when she tries to use it on herself. it's not that she doesn't necessarily believe her own delusions, that's irrelevant (since we've already had it demonstrated to us that it doesn't matter what you believe, if the last word says otherwise). it's that she's made herself and been made into something that cannot be changed. VAL's sainthood is a trauma response (which isn't to excuse all the mass murder and torture and other petty war crimes; trauma responses are not inherently admissible on the basis that they're rooted in trauma, and while traumatised people are not inherently dangerous, some trauma responses are objectively harmful). it's rooted in her desire to become something that "cannot be bound", to become something that can make it so that if her mother the world says that she cannot be loved, and that nothing she ever does will make her good enough to deserve kindness, then she can simply rewrite the reality that governs it so that it has no choice but to cede to her demands. however, in doing so, she severs herself from being able to be transformed by those changes herself - because then how would she know that they had changed? she remains fixed in place, and must endure whatever consequences her actions have for her. her body suffers under the strain of holding its form while the rest of the world twists and warps around her. she has made herself a vessel for that desire to be unable to ever be hurt or made helpless again, and in doing so defined herself by it, and made herself utterly helpless to and tormented by her own inertia. she can never move on from the pain that drove her to that point, and so she must carry it in a body not built to bear its weight.

[violetscanfly]

Today is a very special day isn't it

Bonus:

[bonefall]

the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

[cozylittleartblog]

diversity win your spam emails are queer

[youonlyzingonce]

You should have stayed...... Sure there would have been days with highs and lows. Days where I'd make you mad as hell. but I was planning to spend a lifetime making up for those occasional bad days by making you the type of Happy you never even thought was possible or that you could have ever imagined.

I wanted us to be that old couple with generations of our kids and grandkids all around us. I wanted us to be that old couple that had been together 50-60 years and people would ask with the secret was And I'd act like a kid again despite being in my '80s and jokingly make a sexual innuendo to the question & you would have this look on your face like I was an idiot but then a smirk because I was your idiot.

And maybe one day when Ive finally healed I'll meet someone else who ill love & I'll cherish, but theyll only ever receive a fraction of the love that I had for you. A love I was going to spend a lifetime pouring into you showing you everyday.

[ganondoodle]

the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change

i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!

i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies

maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs

[twst-mer]

[hyunpic]

2023 year in review with hyunjin [it’s a wrap] 🎉

[raviollies]

Been having awful mental health weeks and can't even book a pysch appointment because their phone lines aren't working

[trappedinafantasy37]

"Weeeh! I wanna recruit Minthara on a good playthrough! Weeeh! I don't like the ultimatum and want to keep both Minthara and Halsin! Weeeh! I wanna make Minthara good! Weeeh! I don't want Minthara to break up with me!" Minthara deserves more content but none of these things are at all what she needs or deserves. No, these are all things that you want for yourself, but do absolutely nothing for her. This is one of the biggest L's in the game and it will forever enrage me because I just know it will never happen.

Minthara deserves to confront Orin like all the other companions do with their abusers. She deserves to scream and yell at Orin. She deserves to cut at her the same way Orin did, make her bleed and scream in pain. Minthara deserves to torture Orin, just as she did her in the mind flayer colony. Minthara deserves the right to roll up to the Temple of Bhaal and beat the shit out of Orin with her bare hands. Leave Orin begging for mercy in which Minthara will not even give her a drop. To slam Orin down on that altar and slice her throat, offer her up as a sacrifice to the father she is so blindly devoted to.

And yes, Minthara would be afraid. She would be TERRIFIED. Despite how strong and powerful Minthara is, she is also the only one afraid of Orin. Unlike Ketheric, or Gortash, or Sarevok, she is the only one who fully acknowledges just how dangerous Orin actually is and does not underestimate her. She will walk down into that temple, intending to duel Orin with a massive disadvantage because she is terrified.

Minthara choked when seeing Orin again in the mind flayer colony. She choked when seeing Orin as an imposter, throwing her deep into the ocean of paranoia and fear. And she is so entrenched in paranoia that it actually becomes palpable to everyone around her, even you. She describes herself as paranoid, but this is the first that you actually see how paranoid she is. And she choked again when Orin kidnapped someone in camp, making her feel inadequate, making a mockery of her for being unable to protect one of her own. And every day that passes, the more and more likely that the victim is going to die and she has doubts on their survival.

At every possible avenue in which Minthara could have done something or said something about Orin, she froze in place with fear. But she's had enough. She cannot be afraid of Orin forever and she doesn't want to be. One way or another, Orin has to die and she wants to get over that fear. She needs to know that Orin is dead, for herself.

This would also make the alurlssrin confession all the more impactful. She wants to tell you that she loves you in the best way that she can because of the very high likelihood that she will never have another chance to do so. She would beg you to come with her as you give her the courage. She has the courage to face her fears and confront her tormentor, because she knows she has you in her corner. If you have the courage to stand up to the very gods themselves, then she can stand up to Orin. Romanced or not, your presence alone is enough to give her the strength to do something she would otherwise be too terrified to do.

Minthara deserves the honor to solo duel Orin in a fight to the death. Minthara deserves the right to achieve vengeance for herself. No, I do not care that this confrontation would conflict with a Durge playthrough. In fact, it would provide a phenomenal source of some interesting, and toxic, drama between Durge and Minthara. Especially if they're in a relationship. This also does not mean that Minthara killing Orin instead of Durge would not have its consequences (because it most certainly will). Even if Minthara does not fight Orin, it would be so much better if Minthara was just given the fucking chance to yell at Orin like all the other companions in their personal quests.

[ampleappleamble]

set entirely within the Living Lands!

takes place shortly after Deadfire!

dynamic rock-paper-scissors combat requiring weapon switches!

context-sensitive ability and spellcasting button!

skill trees instead of classes!

no romances with your companions!