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youonlyzingonce · 3 months ago

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Like you do for mine....

There must be a part of you that aches at my absence.... Like you do for mine....

There must be a part of you that wonders what i am doing....Like you do for mine....

Wondering if i thought of you....Like you do for mine....

Wondering if i slept well or if it's another sleepless night.... Like you do for mine....

Wondering if i watched the sunset from my window last night....Like you do for mine....

There must be a part of you that agonizes in pain reminiscing off the memories of us and things that we created & shared....Like you do for mine....

There must be a part of you that resents everything we were unsuccessful at becoming.....Like you do for mine....

And tormented at the thought that we didn't reach our true potential as a couple, accomplishing together the life we we're destined to have achieved as the universe had planned for us, with the family we were supposed to build together....Like you do for mine....

Do you find yourself dreaming about the future and find yourself heartbroken knowing that it won't be us that spends a lifetime creating memories we should have....Like you do for mine....

Original poem "like you do for mine" by: A Pringle

#you only zing once #zing #too the moon and back #forever and always #soulmate #i was worth it #we were worth it #you broke my soul #i hate that i still love you #you should be here #it should have been us

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ahopefulbromantic · 1 month ago

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Hello Mouthwashing enjoyers, a doctor here

So i finally played the game yesterday and noticed a detail that isn't talked about enough:

10 mg oxycodone for someone in Curly's condition wouldn't do jack as a painkiller. From what i understood, he also takes it only once a day orally. When he's easily at the very top of the analgesic ladder (meaning due to his state he would need the strongest narcotics in the highest doses, preferably intravenously). Especially that 1) idk about the state of his digestive tract but i can venture to say the absorption would be very poor (meaning a big portion of the drug would just pass through his guts without actually going into the body), and 2) he's been taking it for months and oxycodone as an opioid builds tolerance (meaning his organism "gets used to" the drug and gradually needs more for the same effect). He probably feels that himself, that's why he's reluctant to take it throughout the game.

But don't worry, it gets worse!

Because later on, when we find out we're out of meds and find a hidden stash, it turns out to be...

500 mg paracetamol. As in, half a dose you yourself would take for a headache on a good day. It's placebo at best. What's even the point.

So yeah, if any of you playing thought something along the lines of "it's horrible i hate it i hate giving meds to Curly but at least the painkillers make him feel better" No. They don't. They never did. He may moan less but he's not in any less pain. I'm sorry.

#mouthwashing #captain curly #curly mouthwashing #painkillers #when i tell you i audibly groaned when i got the paracetamol #i played with my brother and we were both sad and sick giving it to him #poor guy #it's worth being a doc for moments like these

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youonlyzingonce · 1 year ago

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Yupppp..... Thank you for this by the way. No, you couldn't do only just one of these.... but had to do all three to me.

Of all my girlfriends I've had in my life, I've loved 3 of them. But you were the ONLY one whom I've ever felt that connection we shared with. Talked about spending my life. Planned our life together with. Wanted to spend my life with. Went to look at rings with. Bought an engagement ring for. And given my whole heart to.

In my life I've been stabbed and cheated on but when I saw those emails and learned you were cheating on me, on us on our family the first time. ... That betrayal cut me deeper than any knife ever could.

The rejection I felt when I had worked so hard and gotten that house for us and you didn't move in felt like you ripped the heart out of my chest.

And the desertion with no explanation after claiming we are soulmates after doing everything we did together and experiences we had shared together and raising a son together it felt like you threw my heart over your shoulder into a wood chipper, and walked away without even turning to look as my heart exited out the other side of the wood chipper.

“If rejection, desertion, or betrayal played a part in your loss, it is not just your sense of security that has been shattered but your belief in yourself, your sense of self-worth.”

— Susan Anderson, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing

#you only zing once #zing #too the moon and back #forever and always #soulmate #i was worth it #we were worth it #you broke my soul #i hate that i still love you #you broke my fucking heart #betrayal #rejection #desertion #you should be here #my twin flame #i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago

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Burning Rotten Bridges

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mianmian #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting #but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.

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shorthaltsjester · 5 months ago

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Why are your children bound by rules you will not follow?

Critical Role, Campaign 3, Downfall Parts 1-3 // Commandments of The Prime Deities according to the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn

#you ever think about the ways the gods so often do and occasionally do not follow their own commandments? cause I do. too much #critical role #cr downfall #cr campaign 3 #the lawbearer #the wildmother #the dawnfather #the arch heart #the everlight #the matron of ravens #the prime deities #underconsidered part of the 'rules you will not follow' is that celestials are a very unique being. they are not really mortals #and even mortals as we have seen in the campaigns are given much leeway with interpreting the commandments of their deities #i mean. deanna full stop asked the god who grants her power if he was worth saving and did not experience the fjord-like symptoms #of waking up powerless #the gods are like mortals #and like mortals cannot be contained absolutely by rules - no matter how much some of them like the lawbearer might wish that were not true #thats the tragedy. the gods treat their own commandments as mortals treat their commandments: ideals. things to strive for #but not always things to be reached :(#abubakar salim #noshir dalal #nick marini #taliesin jaffe #ashley johnson #laura bailey #brennan lee mulligan #web weaving #web weave #my post

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

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idontmindifuforgetme · 7 months ago

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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all #Being dry and cryptic to me #And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship #I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since #And my palette is so cleansed #When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist #There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but #I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out #I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually #Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like #Yeah I’m dropping this for now #I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk #Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill #The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all #I fr cracked it #I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway #But they’re so not worth it #Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun #Not for me #I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me #And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious #Which is why it never works #Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different #So lame #Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags

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reasonsforhope · 10 months ago

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By the way, when I say that I really do believe that we will make it, I am 100% saying that as someone who has been following good news extensively + basically daily for over two years now, and has come to that conclusion slowly and deliberately, based on extensive available evidence. It's not a platitude. I genuinely do mean it, and I could write you a whole dissertation on all the reasons why.

(you know. if I had the time and an in-progress doctorate. rip.)

#worth emphasizing that I am NOT a scientist #but I do have years of experience working in science communication #which is weird to say tbh #partly because we also did a lot of things that weren't science (or were more indirectly science)#and partly because psychology is so often considered not a science or not a “hard science”#but technically my professional specialty literally is mental health and Evidence Based psychology #anyway #not news #me

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crow-caller · 1 month ago

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started playing fallen london cause of your blog and i absolutely love it! Thank u :)

Excellent!!! If I have any power, let it be used to get people to play fallen london and its related games (sunless seas, sunless skies = Survival exploration, mask of the rose = visual novel)

#I know three people at least started bc of my suncrab posting which is continously funny bc. You ain't gonna see suncrab in fl #Except for the fact it's everywhere and everything but also plainly. Not.#But I think it's probably a good litmus test for folks who heard “well there's a torrid doomed crab X sun romance” and were intrigued #You are probably the audience to enjoy fallen london. Gothic victorian horror and comedy AND you can lust after giant evil space bats!?#Fallen london #Fallen london is free and highly recommended but also worth saying the other games in universe are good too #If you don't get on with fallen london gameplay itself consider sunless seas or skies or mask of the rose #You know as a teen my dream was to become a successful author but a big facet of that was I wanted to use that power to hype mortal engines #Me cira 14: okay it'd be cool if people read and liked my writing but it'd be cooler to get mortal engines the respect it deserves #Sometimes there's asks #That makes me sound like my dream job was actually influencer but we didn't have those back then. Also. No.

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vaggieslefteye · 5 months ago

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ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ↳ anonymous asked: HUSK and ALASTOR or angel and valentino?

#hazbin hotel #husk #hazbin husk #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel edit #hazbin edit #radio demon #requested #make me choose #my gifs #dad beat dad #flashing gif #flickering gif #the full ask said ''in whichever way you define'' at the end so #i chose based off of which dynamic i'm more intrigued by. valentino as a villain and as a challenge to angel is REALLY interesting dont get #me wrong here. it's great. but THESE two have a lot of untapped potential for husk specifically #alastor is just there at the moment but HUSK. husk. it really is a mirror to angel's situation - everything wrong in his afterlife is #because of that gamble. but he WAS an overlord. HE was the one doing that horrible shit before. that's INTERESTING!!#he gathered and gambled away souls like money. it was all just a game to him. now HE'S getting his. a sick poetic justice in a way.#i am SO excited to see if they dive into this more!! will he ever self reflect? if he does will we SEE him doing this reflection? will it #be enough to play a part in him choosing to redeem himself? or even decide if redemption is worth the effort? i feel like there's potential #with his dynamic with alastor to influence that big time + his friendship with angel will also be a major factor #also making this set made me realize the hallway scene is like their one major interaction. jfc and it's fucking HORRIFYING lmao #look i loved their pilot interaction/dynamic as much as the next person but this is just. SO much better. more things to explore.#i'm really glad in the end that they were rewritten in this way. A+

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marclef · 11 months ago

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some Noisette and Fake drawings i did because on god i wish these two had any form of canon interaction.

your honor i just think these two should be allowed to be Silly together.....

#they're both goobers. doofuses. they deserve each other.#plus fake would be the only one to stomach most of noisette's food and that'd probably make her really happy.#my art #pizza tower #pizza tower fake peppino #pizza tower noisette #i spent 8 hours on these. lord help me.#but it's worth it for my Sillies..... plus i've like barely drawn noisette and i NEEDED to give my girl some love come on!!!#we were gifted a Girl knockoff of The Noid and by god we will appreciate her.

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youonlyzingonce · 5 months ago

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My brain says I need to forget you

But how can I when.....

When once upon a Time Id found you. And in you I found All I ever could have wanted & asked for in a wife all wrapped up in one

When every ounce within me knows that this was not the plan which God & the Universe had written in the stars.

When my memory misses you & it asks about you often

When my lips wish they were kissing you & telling you how much I love you, rather than how much I miss you.

When my hands are longing to hold you & hug you.

When my heart breaks because I know you don't care & that you no longer want me in your life.

When my soul mourns for you, incomplete without you & the future we were planning, that we now will no longer share

#you only zing once #zing #too the moon and back #forever and always #soulmate #i was worth it #we were worth it #you broke my soul #i hate that i still love you #you should be here #this wasn't how it was supposed to be #why didn't we deserve our happy ever after

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yeoldenews · 4 months ago

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I'm really loving your #tbt posts lately (which I assume might come from your queue). Thanks for keeping the historical interest flowing. One question: I'd love to know who the family is in the Minnesota photos. I assume you wrote about them in the past, if you have a personal source for the pictures. (My grandfather and his family were from Minnesota, and I recently viewed some photos of them.)

I wish I knew! Unfortunately this is one of several "white whale" albums I've purchased over the years with absolutely no written identification in them, and one of only two I haven't had any luck tracking down any individual people in the photos.

My current best guess is that the album is of a young adults group from the English Lutheran Church of the Redeemer in St. Paul, and was taken in the summer/fall of 1897 or 1898. There is one photo of a group in front of a church with a partial sign visible behind them which I was able to match to that church. I did some additional research and found that the church group did regular summer outings to many tourist spots and lakes in the St. Paul area.

I was able to additionally pinpoint the location to the St. Paul area due to the waterslide in the background of this image and a visible sign for the Nevers Dam (on the MN/WI border) in another.

I compiled a list of a dozen or so people who attended the church at the time (from newspaper mentions of various events at the church) but so far haven't had any luck matching any of those people to the individuals in the album.

It's a great album, about 40 or so pictures in total and I believe it was likely developed at home by an amateur photographer. None of the photos are mounted, being printed on very thin paper, and several have hand applied mats added to the exposures to change the shape - as seen above.

Snapshots from the 1890s are my absolute favorite photographs as personal photography was still in its infancy, and people were still figuring out what exactly to do with the cameras the now had access to. Many of the images are still posed like studio portraits, but you can see the very beginnings of people starting to get creative with what they chose to capture.

#it's also worth noting that most of the really interesting early snapshots I've come across were taken by teenagers and young adults #I think young people were much more willing to take chances and experiment with new technology #I used to give a lecture about the development of personal photography #and I had a whole section about teenage girls not get nearly enough credit for shaping the way we still take pictures to this day #photography #history of photography #1890s #minnesota #victorian #history #asks

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago

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