#things i draw to cope with my life

[galactic-rhea]

They love each other so much.

They can't properly hug because Luke would just pass through him, but they kept trying for decades

[sneez]

when you are here heaven is by my side [id in alt text]

[ipxakachi]

Guilty Challenge but he also got stuck

[skunkes]

(trying to be) happy to be here

[allastoredeer]

Me: *draws for two weeks straight*

Me: Why does my hand hurt so much???

(but I wanna keep drawing anyway🥲)

[spiriiitt]

Listening to Let Go by BTS while being sad about minecraft diaries is crazy bc actually fuck off

[miralyk]

honestly would anyone stop me if i were just super "cringy" being over-self-indulgent drawing niche interests constantly,, even w self-insert drawing

...who knows and who cares, i'm still coming around to loving the art process again and this is an unexpected source of motivation, but i'll take anything i can get

[fobnsfwdoodles]

[maliciousalice]

Count the ways I've had a fucked up life:

-Shoved my twin sister when we were 3 and saw blood come out of her ears from the knock on her head. From that point on she was half-deaf. -Twin sister and I nearly drowned at age 6 by being pulled into a powerful rip-tide at an unsupervised beach. My parents thought it was cute until we couldn't swim back and they both had to swim out to get us. I remember being really tired, and them being unsure about being able to swim back to shore.

-At age 11 witnessed my mother forgetting to apply the brake to her car. She tried to get back in and tripped, it subsequently rolled over her, crushing her foot and dragging her down the road. She bled profusely. The crimson stained pavement haunted me for a long time. I blamed myself because I arrived home from a friend's house at the same exact same time and believed I distracted her.

-Accidently electrocuted myself when I was bored while watching my siblings play on the computer. Without looking, I fiddled with the back of an old lamp with my finger tips, but I didn't know that fumbling the cables would cause it to surge. The large shock sent my arm numb for about an hour. Didn't seek treatment because the power tripped and I was worried I would get yelled at.

-Deep in the bush, during a particularly dry summer, family friends stupidly made a bonfire, and I saw our campsite get quickly lit up. As the flames surrounded us and the cars, I was yelled at to go get help/manual water pumps as if it was my fault. Somehow we managed to put it all out. We had to try something because the alternative was getting trapped.

-Was on the phone to my grandma when she had a stroke, I had no idea what was going on, to the point I thought it was a prank. I was crying because it wasn't something I was even aware could happen to someone, I continued to listen and her language skills deteriorated the longer I was on the phone. She became convincedly desperate despite her incoherence and somehow I broke away from my fear and got my dad to help her.

-My mother stabbed my older sister in the arm with a kitchen knife and they both just walked off. I remember being around the corner listening to the argument escalate and saw my older sister clutching her arm. (my sister is very violent so I think it was done in self defense???)

-Dad threw that same sister into the drywall multiple times--Not to excuse it but she was a devil, and would attack / lunge at us, and disrespected my parents from a young age. Dull thudding against walls sends me on edge to this day because it was one way to identify a scuffle with her.

-Mum had a cabinet pushed onto her by my older sister. The cabinet had a glass panel that shattered on her leg and sliced it open.

-My twin sister got upset at me and swung a 10kg metal bar stool at my leg, the blunt force tore my leg open, I now have a very sensitive scar on my shin. -My mum ran at me in an anger spell and I blocked it by pushing her away from me (that's legitimately all), she slipped on the slippery cork floors we had and fell over hitting her head hard. She was unconscious for a few minutes. Her tongue was sticking out and her eyes were open. I thought I had killed her. I wanted to call an ambulance. She woke up and I begged to her that she needed to go to hospital but she brushed it off because we had to catch a flight.

-On my way back from a lunch break I saw a woman go under a Truck. Once again I blamed myself because I crossed in front of the driver at a crossing, and nodded to him. As he rolled forward to leave she sprinted across, I turned and saw that she got hit. -My older sister took advantage of my mum and got into large debts by getting her to co-sign loans behind my dad's back. My mum was paying off things like her phone bill and eventually a car loan. This caused a lot of violent contention.

-Older Sister was kicked out of multiple times but my parents never fully cut her out and now she lives scott-free in a brand new granny flat in the backyard because of their guilt.

-lived in relative poverty and mess most of my teenage life because it was too expensive to send 4 kids to school for my parents. They worked full time but didn't really provide us with any emotional security. Both parents were very messy but blamed us for it as we got older. I tried my best to keep things clean but it was often in vain (it is to this day as things have escalated to full hoarding)

[c00lac0la]

to any new followers, please be sure to read my carrd/pinned post cause i don't want any of the 'wrong' people following my account here since it's strictly sfw and for me to cope /gen /srs

[hasturs-fanboy-number-one]

this  is now a garfield shitpost blog, i’ve relapsed

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY TO TAKE SUCH A HARD LEFT BUT HOW DO YOU THINK JO FOUND OUT ARAKAWA WAS DEAD

IM GOING TO SCREAM IF I TRY TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOOO I GOTTA GET BACK TO YOU IN 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS WITH THAT ONE............

[pekodayz]

when u get overdue work done after like forever, hobbies look fun again tbh

[immamapletreekid]

it has been so long since a game has done this level of irreparable damage to my emotional wellbeing

[coyoteuugly]

i am so sick of feeling this immense guilt and having no hope for the future i am making a conscious effort to get better and create a life worth living for myself

[katyspersonal]

(Vent)

I find myself so conflicted. There are just... so many things I want to talk about. I want to talk about how infuriating it is that “feminists” fought so hard to claim that all women deserve respect - only to end up demonizing female beauty and fit-ness as a concept for being “cishet male bait”, or hate feminine characters in general unless they can get indulgence for being lesbians or trans women. How annoying it is that woke clout chasers run around slapping ‘comphet’ and ‘lesbophobia’ stickers on everything when people are righteously unhappy with bi erasure - would those people be content if someone “erased” a lesbian character saying she was just bi all along but convinced herself to be a lesbian out of hating men? BOTH can play this game, lil’ shit. How people come and have a go like ‘but we all are fighting the SAME battle against CIS WHITE MEN’ that makes me feel cringe for being a woman and thus dragged into this “opression” game against my will, I want to wash my gender away like dirt to not be associated with this madness - but when I step away too far I inevitably find legitimate incels that hate women like feminists hate men. When did I crossed the line where chased down stray dogs ended and true wolves started? Where can I hide?

But it is certainly not in my head. And I want to NOT want to talk about any of this, I just wonder - did it really have to get like this? Becoming so tangled with internet and fandoms? Well... I’ve ALWAYS been just an autistic kid more interested in fiction than reality, so maybe my fate is just written by how my brain is built, heh. But there is just boiling anger that I sometimes struggle to contain, it ends up feeling like I am a dragon that simply tried to make a deep sigh - and bam, accidentally everything around got ignited. After this I feel like I did something wrong - despite ‘ranting about things you dislike’ is such a relevant thing that some Youtubers make it their BRAND and get hella followers! But I just feel like now everything ignites, and I should extinguish the coals with memes, reblogged pretty arts, jokes and ‘happy thoughts’. But ‘touch the grass’ or not, but the frustration is always here somewhere, like a permanently smoking volcano. I know rants are okay, but it always feels like after I only BARELY open up about my perpetual annoyance - people already get scared. So what would they think of me if I lost ALL inhibitors and just got it ALL out?

I just want to believe that out there there is a hater (affectionate) so furious that I am no match to them, and me ranting to them will feel like barely a complaint, let alone rant. And it will feel greeeeeeat for a while, because this anger will be out of my mind.