#things i draw to cope with my life
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They love each other so much.
They can't properly hug because Luke would just pass through him, but they kept trying for decades
#star wars#luke skywalker#anakin skywalker#anakin and luke#force ghosts#sequels era#my art#things i draw to cope with my life#also ty everyone who tried to cheer me up
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I don't have a silly cheeky comment for this one besides it leans heavily on my headcanons and stuff on Grujaja. (that's how you know ur in the tranches for a character.)
^face of a guy that keeps hurtin his bonds w anyone close to him. Bonus doodles i made while drawing this that are semi related due to being tied to my Gr headcanons unda the cut lol:
#great god grove#ggg spoilers#ggg capochin#ggg grujaja#ggg gr#ggg hector#<- in the readmore lol#Capo is so used to my Grujaja just quietly doing what he asks even after the bizzyboys dissolve it throws him through a loop when told no#<- this is a fact ive drawn in past images. i did that on purpose. Grujaja doing what he's told no hesitation or input#spent 3/4s of his life following these guys and not having his own personal hobbies. or having many personal items. it was his life#devoted to a cause and what it stood for because to him it saved his life meanwhile its just another festering wound.#capo is also drunk and girlrotting#capo lashing out at things and going too far fans where are u im right here#also please note the use of “kid” to a 40 year old man.#Capo still seeing gr as a small scared kid despite it being 33 years later#and getting the smack in the face this guy is a more mature adult than he is#because capo straight up broke the one thing Gruja wore on him he really cared about and instead on attacking that man he just gets up#and walks away#i cope with my evil images by drawing tiny gr because he brings me joy lol. little animal.#anyeay sorry guys for the insanity sometimes it controls me like a puppet to commit crimes and heavy headcanoning
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judas, kiss me, if offensed
#kinda quick kinda messy#did most of this in my sound design class lmao sorry rudi#my art#arcane#league of legends#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#tumblr gets to see this first#got really self conscious about only drawing fanart again lol i gotta get over myself#things have been. hm. not great. in many respects#and getting way too invested in fiction is still my healthiest coping mechanism so#here. have at it#i cant for the life of me draw the machine heralds skin texture but i tried. e for effort#LOVE the religious connotations of their whole thing btw and i ESPECIALLY love how viktor is jesus moses and the virgin mary in one#the ultimate idol
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Guilty Challenge but he also got stuck
#haha radio silence only to come back with Genshin oop#Hi I love Itto#He's rly rly fun to draw and im mad at myself for not drawing enough of him#I've been going through months of burnout and demotivation when it's come to art due to various things happening in life#only now am I feeling the desire to draw again#idk or maybe it's also coping with my last sem of school lol#Anyway I wanna draw things tht interest me again#It'll be nice to get back into the ease of uploading too...but man social media's daunting and tiring hghfgf#man does drawing Itto's canon body bnring me joy#his canon body that clearly not been nuked in game#canon buff idiot that's canon to me and you cant tell me otherwise#im not in denial shut#genshin impact#arataki itto#guilty challenge#redraw#10 points and a head pat to those who know where the 2nd pose comes from#taemin guilty
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(trying to be) happy to be here
#a doodley#1st pic is from last yr#im an easy crier and lately its bc i hate the way my life is going but then i think abt how one day ill be dead and i wont be able to#draw anymore or look at birds anymore or eat things i like anymore and it also sends me into insane crying hysterics#i want to live so bad.... but idk... i shld make the best of what i have. and try to cope with what i have (hence the images)#bc like idk. i want to leave so bad but my parents will be gone someday too so why am i in a rush to not see em...idk.#i dont knowwwwwww chimp image#copium. i have to find anything to be excited about. trying.#sorry its those nefarious 3 am thots -_-
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Me: *draws for two weeks straight*
Me: Why does my hand hurt so much???
(but I wanna keep drawing anyway🥲)
#a part of me wants to power through the pain because I don't want to stop drawing#but the rational part of my brain says thats a very bad idea and will make the pain worse#BUT DRAWING#how am I meant to cope with the stress of life if I can't draw my pookie????#he's the only thing keeping my sane#stupid hands#just work#let me draw forever with no consquences
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a modern human au where nothing bad ever happenned to them and they got to grow up together. I am making myself cry with this chat
#north is sad and beige and would have a stupid phone case#also i did a watermark thingy because im such a cool ans serious artist look at me#BTW !!!!! first thing im posting thats drawn on my new tablet :3#north has beige mom energy. idk how i feel about it. im just leettinf it happen#yall have no idea i am SHAKING im so normal about them#i need to get to work on. everything about this. bc i really wanna finally be able to coherebtly tell their story#im very insane about them and THE THEMES !!!!!!!#ARGHHHHH#anyways#murl draws#murls ocs#oc#my oc#oc art#art#my art#artists on tumblr#whatever other tags there are#just you wait. i will make this into something coherent#ughhhg i cant. i need to cope ok#and its smth i myself made up wtf !!!!!#imagine being separated from your sibling who is your whole world at a young age and spending the next several decades being told theyre a#a traitor and eventually hunting them down only to discover that while you werw kept in a bubble where everything stayed the same the rest#of thw world has changed so much including your sibling and you realize the only person you could rely on these past few decades has been l#lying to you and now youre completely unajusted to life and have to deal with the fact everything isnt what you thiugjt it was AND EVERYRHJ#G CHABGED IT CHANGED !!!! CHANGE IS INEVITABLE AND YOU HAVE TO FOR THE FIRST TIME VE FACED WITH LIVING FOR YOURSELF AND DISCIVERING WHO YOU#ARE AS A PERSON HHHHHHHHH I CANTTTT.#i dont event have all the names for characters yet GAHHHHH
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Listening to Let Go by BTS while being sad about minecraft diaries is crazy bc actually fuck off
#aphblr#aphverse#aphmau#mcd#aphmau minecraft diaries#minecraft diaries#this is so fucked#i love minecraft diaries so close to my heart#I need to make a post word vomitting about my headcanons sometime#i will do that soon#i don't like diverging from canon too much#so most my headcanons are more about small things I notice line up#but that are never really confirmed in canon#like levin definitely being garroths biological son#obvious lowk by how levins mother asks abotu garroth#and jsut can't remember that bc early season they're jst gaining conciousness again in the area around pd#yk#anyways#i used mcd lowk#and pdh#to cope with my dads death during late 2017#and also bts since i got into bts just before my dad died#so it's a weird mesh of coping methods coming together years later#esp since i've been getting into both again lately#and working on my yr12 major work on grief and how i deal with it in my everday life#that's crazy#i need to finish all 6 of my artworks this weekend and week pray for me#it's 2 hours until sunday so really i have a day#fuck#i spent too much time drawing fanart and playing dauntless
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#is it normal that everyone feels sad and lonely most of the time#i cant imagine it being anything else#even when im surrounded by people or at events i feel disconnected#and is everyone just faking it or do they really love making plans going out#idk why im so nonfunctional it feels like whether or not i start feeling bad when i go out is 50/50#and i tried to join as many things as possible in my earlier years of college but i think it only succeeded in distracting me#and making me tired and sleep deprived and i felt like i was too shallowly involved in each thing bc i was spread too thin#but now ive quit almost everything and im just sad. i get jealous when people have plans and when they have friends. when they just go out#its just so tiring and all i ever want to do is lay in bed. but if i stay in bed i feel sad and guilty about missing out and wasting my life#everything stresses me out so easily. i cant play games bc i get anxious. ordering drinks in front of others makes me anxious. anything new#and i fear my anxiety gotten worse this year for just zero reason#im so tired im never getting better. next year my bf is travelling for over a month and im stuck in classes and busy and job hunting#and about to graduate#and i just know im going to be so lonely and so stressed and so depressed#it just kind of feels like i’ve tried so hard for years to be happier and cope with things healthier but i haven’t gotten anywhere.#perhaps im even worse now because i don’t even draw or consume any media anymore. i just barely work (and struggle the whole time) and sleep#my rambles
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The Alien: Romulus poster only it's one of my OCs because I am very normal about this movie. It totally didn't ignite an old obsession I had with this series when I was like fifteen and I am not brainstorming ideas for a stroy that involves my OCs. No, sir
Anyway. Something something having type 1 narcolepsy makes Michael an ideal target for xenomorphs something something he also has earrings now. If this isn't character development then I don't know what is
#Implement facehugger anatomy from the 1979 movie because I disliked the modern design of it's tail#Also did the same thing for the anatomy of its fingers because I just think the 1979 movie did it better than Romulus#I have to physically restrain myself from drawing for this whackass AU because I have like 27574394 wips going on#Also like fuckin ten different AUs too#God damn me and my adhd brain#What did you think I'm gonna cope with life like a normal person naah babygirl in this house we brainstorm AU ideas for our OCs#Michael needs a fucking break#Alien#alien: romulus#alien 1979#Michael Tosh#Original character#oc art#My art#artists of tumblr
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anyway to cope with playing ddlc i drew the cast in under ten minutes in erasable pen. natsuki is a scottish fold and sayori is a golden retriever.
And of course my second favourite meme
#my art#doodles#ddlc#ddlc natsuki#ddlc sayori#the weak should fear the strong#my beloved wife and monika are next#i already know what animals theyre going to be but its a surprise!!#coping mechanism: draw them as animals.#i cant wait to sit down with six reference images and devote two hours of my life to drawing an anthro dog anime girl <333#also natsuki's blazer is covered in pins and badges. and its safety-pinned at the cuffs bcse she is smol with short limbs#also her weird little ribbon things are attached to her ears. because where else would they go.#wait. wait. reexamining her hair. i thought she had funky little ribbon clips. what do you mean she doesnt have funky little ribbon clips. s
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honestly would anyone stop me if i were just super "cringy" being over-self-indulgent drawing niche interests constantly,, even w self-insert drawing
...who knows and who cares, i'm still coming around to loving the art process again and this is an unexpected source of motivation, but i'll take anything i can get
#i'm still ruminating on things and what to do in Life/Art esp to cope w the future + animation industry feeling dire rn;;#i just! want to be with friends and make friends! and maintain my love for friends living and drawing!! it's about love!!#yes i'm still working on my art skills to be a storyboard artist and stay employed for the future#but#i want to love friends. and love art. i want to live life and stay happy and keep going in all these not Just for a job if that makes sense#text#and yeah this is about#protocreed#being an unexpected train of nostalgia that's somehow made me more happy/motivated in drawing now haha
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#y'all i am having my first period in four fucking years#forgot to be consistent with my t#adhd is transphobic confirmed#i feel so crap i never thought I'd have another period in my life#can someone rip this god damn uterus out of me#if i wasn't in so much pain id draw all the fob boys having period Sex#every thing is so uncomfortable#i hope you enjoy this doodle its me coping#okay that's the info dump#want3d to draw Patrick being extra cunty after that edit#Patrick#art#silly
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Count the ways I've had a fucked up life:
-Shoved my twin sister when we were 3 and saw blood come out of her ears from the knock on her head. From that point on she was half-deaf. -Twin sister and I nearly drowned at age 6 by being pulled into a powerful rip-tide at an unsupervised beach. My parents thought it was cute until we couldn't swim back and they both had to swim out to get us. I remember being really tired, and them being unsure about being able to swim back to shore.
-At age 11 witnessed my mother forgetting to apply the brake to her car. She tried to get back in and tripped, it subsequently rolled over her, crushing her foot and dragging her down the road. She bled profusely. The crimson stained pavement haunted me for a long time. I blamed myself because I arrived home from a friend's house at the same exact same time and believed I distracted her.
-Accidently electrocuted myself when I was bored while watching my siblings play on the computer. Without looking, I fiddled with the back of an old lamp with my finger tips, but I didn't know that fumbling the cables would cause it to surge. The large shock sent my arm numb for about an hour. Didn't seek treatment because the power tripped and I was worried I would get yelled at.
-Deep in the bush, during a particularly dry summer, family friends stupidly made a bonfire, and I saw our campsite get quickly lit up. As the flames surrounded us and the cars, I was yelled at to go get help/manual water pumps as if it was my fault. Somehow we managed to put it all out. We had to try something because the alternative was getting trapped.
-Was on the phone to my grandma when she had a stroke, I had no idea what was going on, to the point I thought it was a prank. I was crying because it wasn't something I was even aware could happen to someone, I continued to listen and her language skills deteriorated the longer I was on the phone. She became convincedly desperate despite her incoherence and somehow I broke away from my fear and got my dad to help her.
-My mother stabbed my older sister in the arm with a kitchen knife and they both just walked off. I remember being around the corner listening to the argument escalate and saw my older sister clutching her arm. (my sister is very violent so I think it was done in self defense???)
-Dad threw that same sister into the drywall multiple times--Not to excuse it but she was a devil, and would attack / lunge at us, and disrespected my parents from a young age. Dull thudding against walls sends me on edge to this day because it was one way to identify a scuffle with her.
-Mum had a cabinet pushed onto her by my older sister. The cabinet had a glass panel that shattered on her leg and sliced it open.
-My twin sister got upset at me and swung a 10kg metal bar stool at my leg, the blunt force tore my leg open, I now have a very sensitive scar on my shin. -My mum ran at me in an anger spell and I blocked it by pushing her away from me (that's legitimately all), she slipped on the slippery cork floors we had and fell over hitting her head hard. She was unconscious for a few minutes. Her tongue was sticking out and her eyes were open. I thought I had killed her. I wanted to call an ambulance. She woke up and I begged to her that she needed to go to hospital but she brushed it off because we had to catch a flight.
-On my way back from a lunch break I saw a woman go under a Truck. Once again I blamed myself because I crossed in front of the driver at a crossing, and nodded to him. As he rolled forward to leave she sprinted across, I turned and saw that she got hit. -My older sister took advantage of my mum and got into large debts by getting her to co-sign loans behind my dad's back. My mum was paying off things like her phone bill and eventually a car loan. This caused a lot of violent contention.
-Older Sister was kicked out of multiple times but my parents never fully cut her out and now she lives scott-free in a brand new granny flat in the backyard because of their guilt.
-lived in relative poverty and mess most of my teenage life because it was too expensive to send 4 kids to school for my parents. They worked full time but didn't really provide us with any emotional security. Both parents were very messy but blamed us for it as we got older. I tried my best to keep things clean but it was often in vain (it is to this day as things have escalated to full hoarding)
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#SO UH THIS IS WHY I DRAW .NOT BECAUSE IM ANY GOOD NO SIR JUST BECAUSE IT WAS A FORM OF ESCAPISM HAHA :'3#stability is such a cute little dream to have#its not ALL bad but most people probably wouldnt cope with what i have seen#i have not had therapy for any of this lmao#i straight up have memory holes because there was so much time arguing and witnessing horrible shit#my poor mum she is very highly strung i dont blame her my sister is a spoiled 40 year old abusive brat#day dreamer life baby#got struck a lot too by my mother her weapon of choice was the wooden spoon idk hey haha it was just sort of the norm back then#the paradox was that my family would still do normal things like camping or having dinner parties and those were great#processing it all is hard lmao i have anger issues and depression spells#idk why im posting this might delete it later lol#this all sounds fake hahaha which but it's real i promise#the second my older sister became autonomous it was over#notice my dad and brother arent in this picture much#my brother is...idk okay he has demons and my dad is nice for the most part but he lives in his own world#im sad...#they dont realize i have absorbed all of this and it has formed who i am#i love my family but i dont love....the horror
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to any new followers, please be sure to read my carrd/pinned post cause i don't want any of the 'wrong' people following my account here since it's strictly sfw and for me to cope /gen /srs
#never gonna mention it again cause i don't wanna get annoying but don't be surprised by what i reblog ok you've been warned#this is an agere blog as well so um i draw that too to cope cause im too lazy to make a separate blog anyways#also don't get pissy if i make agere headcanons of the things i enjoy. you are free to block/unfollow me if you want idc#yes this includes tugs possibly getting headcanons that people don't expect#but i won't put the fandom tags in there cause the community will kill me for it#anyways if you managed to read all of this congrats you win at life#im gonna go shut up and work on my carrd
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SORRY TO TAKE SUCH A HARD LEFT BUT HOW DO YOU THINK JO FOUND OUT ARAKAWA WAS DEAD
IM GOING TO SCREAM IF I TRY TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOOO I GOTTA GET BACK TO YOU IN 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS WITH THAT ONE............
#snap chats#id shit and cry if aoki was the one that told him in a condescending/bitchy way yk what i mean#like as if to jab at jo like 'oh dont worry about dealing with dad- since you were too incompetent to do it i had someone else handle it'#not that word for word im SURE but yk what i mean. just GENERALLY thats the energy#the timing of this ask is soooo funny i was just talkin to my twit friend bout arasawa#and how youve been inspiring me to draw it more again as of late and this is NOT helping !!!! i am ADDING IT to my LIST#cause i want to be in pain i guess (;´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ`) I JUST SEE IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD EGUUUGHH#im still gonna chew on the idea of How tho im still gonna chew on it cause i have other stuff lined up Obvi but..... OUGH PAIN...#verrrrry awkward when i post a thing in liek an hour cause that shit gon be a lil cute so then i just got this in the back of my dome ☠️☠️#thank you........#throwing up as i remember aoki being like 'you're acting strange lately' brb#OUUGHHGH dying.#LIKE IM JUST THINKIG OF ALL THE EMOTIONS JO WOULDVE BEEN FEELING- /ESP/ IF HE WAS IN FRONT OF AOKI#how would he even cope... i mean judging by the eye scene Not Well butu OUUGHvLKJVALKJ#ITS THE CONFLICTED FEELINGS AGAIN CAUSE LIKE he SHOUULDNT care as much as he does right...#arakawa was just his boss... but if THAT was the case why not take him out when jo was first asked too.....#aoki is his priority in life right...... arakawa wasn't supposed to be anyone important BUT THEN HE DID BECOME IMPORTANT#making myself throw up#anyway this is why jo shouldve been allowed to rip tendo to shreds. in my humble opinion. <- sobbing#NAWWW IT THE WAY I HAVE TO GO OUT WITH MY SIS RIGHT AFTER THIS WELKFJALFKJLKVJ#I CANT BE NORMALLLLL
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