#God damn me and my adhd brain

[val-the-protoss-simp]

The Alien: Romulus poster only it's one of my OCs because I am very normal about this movie. It totally didn't ignite an old obsession I had with this series when I was like fifteen and I am not brainstorming ideas for a stroy that involves my OCs. No, sir

Anyway. Something something having type 1 narcolepsy makes Michael an ideal target for xenomorphs something something he also has earrings now. If this isn't character development then I don't know what is

[b0tster]

its now mandatory for every single game going forward to have the active time lore feature from ff16

[angelstrawbabie420]

dear god im so autistic

[uinferno]

Looking back I think one of the biggest things that got me through uni was that Canvas had calendars that showed when assignments were due and actually let me plan out what tf I was going to do without feeling overwhelmed.

Well... that and being a tutor/TA/lab assistant letting me work on homework during my shifts. Those two things really pushed uni from being agonizing to doable.

[kringelorde]

a’ight so far, early progress with the antipsychotics, we got:

- so so so so SO sleepy syndrome but I napped 2 hrs and it felt like 8 hrs so nice, tight, hell yeah. I cannot keep running on 4 hrs of piss-poor sleep this is NOT sustainable. these fuckers got hands. I wanted to do my usual “nooo I gotta do [x]” schtick but the second they hit, I got dragged kicking and screaming into beddy bye time. kinda dope. - I had the energy and drive to fucking make myself a proper meal for the first time in... oh jesus, like two weeks? I think I’ve been just grazing on bagels, plain rice, and whatever the fuck else I can find for two weeks now (shoveling $1 fries into my mouth between sprinting across campus aside). that’s grim. jesus. so marked improvement. - the anxiety has not gone away... :(

promising!

[hashketchum2]

feeling super high energy today. on one hand, that means the ideas are flowing and i'm feeling pretty good.

on the OTHER hand my brain is also moving way too fast help i can't focus on anything and it's 9pm and i haven't eaten all day i have so many tabs open and ash's tumblr stuff and carrd and photoshop and sai and soulseek and winamp and discord and oh god please help

[cosmicredcadet]

I cant be the only person who finds stim boards annoying*/painful right???

*annoying as in it frustrates the brain to look at not in the sense of it being cringe.

[actual-changeling]

trying to write while incredibly dissociated and now also mildly high on the lorazepam i needed to fix another mental illness issue is like trying to write drunk off of your ass tbh

[speakercrab666]

it’s okay to cop out sometimes. sometimes eating right and going outside just isn’t gonna happen today, and instead of sitting in your bed and feeling guilty for not making a meal and going for a walk, you get an ice cream and a medium fries from mcdonald’s and eat it parked next to a playground with your car door open.

and is it perfect? no, of course not. i’m not even sitting outside i just have the door open and an ice cream and fries hardly counts as a meal. but it’s something, and that is always better than nothing :)

[bagginsluck]

God, my life would be so amazing if my brain worked right

[daddy-socrates]

yahoo i have written 3 pages and some for chapter 3

[finalgirlmoment]

Noteworthy details about the first two PJOTV episodes (spoilers)

First of all, every single of them ATE DOWN. just wanted to throw that out there, i'm so so impressed with the cast, everyone was perfect and gorgeous and i'm completely sat for any and all future installments. A fine piece of media. Let's begin.

Percy's confusion and bewilderment finding out that he's a demigod. "You fell in love with God.... like, Jesus????" LMFAO but seriously his frustration in this moment, thinking there's something actually wrong with his brain, feeling lost and confused and hurt and BROKEN. the struggle in that moment is so relatable to people discovering they have some sort of mental illness or neurodivergence, especially when they weren't believed/listened to etc and i think walker played this part beautifully

GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TOGETHER. GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TO TRAIN PERCY. I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING OFF ROOFTOPS THE IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS HAS???? ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING??????? IMAGINE SEASON 3 PERCY FINDS NICO AND THEY HAVE THIS IN COMMON???????????!?!?!?!?!? FEELING SEVERELY FRANTIC AND MASSIVELY UNWELL ABOUT THIS

luke's empathy towards Percy throughout-- his apologies for what happened to his mother at the bottom of Half Blood Hill, him telling P that he relates to the nightmares, the restlessness, the ADHD..... so fucking sick and fucking twisted, I will be sobbing at the ending, gorgeous job on both ends on making this relationship feel very warm and authentic and the trust starting to build. this will H U R T.

CLARISSE. she's so gorgeous and vindictive. Her beauty took me off guard initially, but she's such a spiteful little badass that I completely fell in love with her. I CANNOT WAIT to see more of her characterization, especially into season two. perfection.

Percy burning the blue jelly beans- the thing he'd miss most- out in the middle of the woods at night in a damn can, just to pray to his MOTHER. *sobbing intensifies* i couldn't ask for a more sweet, heartfelt, honest moment. the perfect addition. 10s across the board

Percy's ANGER. OH BOY this was one of my most favorite parts. I feel like we see Percy as a very happy-go-lucky kid altogether but I loved, LOVED to see his frustration and agitation from the very beginning. Everything is so confusing and foreign and all he knows is that 1. he's been betrayed or left behind by everyone he knows and 2. he's been ignored his whole life by his godly parent. His mission is to MAKE HIS DAD SEE PERCY, at ANY COST. Before he even knows who his dad is. He is entitled to feel ALL of this anger and hurt and resentment!!!!!!!

Annabeth calling Percy "sunshine". TOTAL CULTURAL RESET. I gasped. The dawn of a new age of Percabeth. I will be screaming into my pillow about this for the foreseeable future.

The entire characterization of Percy throughout the capture the flag scene. His contrast of being just a kid- flossing (lol), peeing the woods, petting a gecko, just vibing and hanging out VS. being thrown suddenly into attack from his peers that don't care about the rules, surprising himself and everyone around him with his finesse in battle, quick instincts, swordsmanship..... i'm weak fr. I can't wait to see him grow, train, become stronger and more confident.

Overall, I'm entirely floored and beyond happy. I can't wait to see more. 10/10

[blue-reimu]

my partner is dying

stage 3 lung cancer

not really sure where im going to go from here

not sure how much time i even have left

theres a lot of things i wanted to do with them and vice versa, some definitely wont happen now and others im just trying my best to have happen now in the ttime we still have together

theyre probably singlehandedly the most important person ive ever had in my life. finally gave me some direction to go with this honestly fuckass shitty little life ive been leading. used to talk to me about somewhere down the line moving in together and getting married when we're older and stuff

being totally honest, having tried as hard as i have to be happy, having finally felt like i was somewhere i wanted to be when they came into my life only for this to happen, im not sure what the point is gonna be once theyre dead

not sure what im gonna do

im just doing everything i can for them, no matter what it is, until the end comes

i hate this fucking planet

i dont know if i ever talk about whats actually happening in my personal life on this account but im not doing well

[shy-canadian-snowflake]

Oh god even more Mentally Unwell Wade? Always. This is how I deal with my own mental health.

Wade chatters to himself, normally about random topics or his opinions on the weirdest of things- why Jellyfish would make good therapist, would madusa have to feed her hair, if emojis are todays hieroglyphics- lots of random topics. He does so half because ADHD brain, half because he doesn't like the sounds of his own thoughts. He speaks at a normal volume or louder when doing this.

He mumbles under his breath if he thinks he might be hallucinating. Soft quick words that normal people would ask him to speak up, not Logan tho. Logan can hear.

He learns quick- rambling is normal, mumbling is concerning. Thats is until it's not.

There are some hallucinations that are kind of normal for Wade. Like Boris, the large hairball cat thing. Wade named it so it was less stressing. Logan can hear him mumbling in the other room:

"God damn it Boris, don't pop up like that. I know you can't help it but come on."

"Boris, I'm starting to think you like me too much"

"Oh shit Boris, my man. As a interdimensional hairball cat thing, what is your opinion on Nutella?"

At first Logan would hover near by concerned, which would just cause Wade to shut down more. But eventually he started asking about Boris.

"If Boris is around so much, he should pitch in some fucking rent"

The day Logan did that changed everything. Wade didn't feel like he was being judged for what his brain was doing, that this wasn't something to fear. His brain was just mean sometimes and showed him Boris. Logan was fine with Boris, could deal with Boris. So Wade could too.

[sp00kymulderr]

Well here we are, nearing the end of another year. 2024 has been…something. But it has been made much easier and nicer thanks to the wonderful community we have made here, resilient and welcoming and full of love despite everything.

I haven’t read half as much as I wanted to (I still have things on my tbr from October 23 🫣 I blame my new job and my adhd okay) but what I have read has been so simply fantastic and inspiring, and the art I’ve seen this year has been absolutely wonderful. I’m constantly in awe of the talent in this fandom 💕

So I just wanted to take a moment to shout out some of my absolute favourite creations of 2024!

✨first of all I have to continue to scream about this Dieter & Alien art that @yopossum made for me 🥺🩷 a print of this lives on my mantelpiece and it makes me happy every single day. This means so much to me.

✨The stranger the better by @seventeenpins Dieter & tentacles - I don’t even need to explain further. You get it. It’s perfect. I reread this a lot

✨Seeded & Propogation by @covetyou *Staring at these fics with dreamy eyes*. Lo just gets me tbh, I’m very lucky. Dieter having weird dreams and then an even weirder and extremely sexy time with a new alien pal… yeah 🫠 I would happily live in the brain that created this.

✨Sweet Dee by @yopossum Sub Dieter wins every time, and this is such a special version of him. This is the kind of love Dieter baby deserves 🥺

✨Kinktober 23 by @gasolinerainbowpuddles Puddles I am forever grateful that you continued to work on and post on these throughout 2024, because everything came out with blew me away (and awakened some things in me 😌). So many absolute treasures here.

✨Rebirth by @perotovar THE Javi G fic. The most fucking gorgeous, heartfelt, sensitive and sweet piece of writing. I love the idea of Javi being genderfluid, and I love how Erin presented this coming out story so beautifully

✨What means to you, what means to me by @qveerthe0ry I rarely read Max P, but I couldn’t resist another genius fic concept from Tings! Gender fuckery at its best, and just a truly affirming piece of fic to read

✨Me on you by @luxurychristmaspudding I mean…WOW. Gorgeous, poetic work from a gorgeous, poetic writer. This one really stuck with me

✨Go your own way by @schnarfer oh, fuck boy Javi P you’re so god damn hot. No one writes like Al. Her style is so unique and so fun and so clever and this was no different. An absolute horny, emotional treat

✨Tool time by @covetyou Joel in a tool belt. Bulge nuzzling. Lo gives you everything you didn’t know you needed and then some. Every time I see a tool belt now I have a Pavlovian response.

✨Letter to an old poet by @party-hearses Mish writes with so much emotion, so much depth, and this is no different. It’s heart wrenching and emotional and says so much, even in 600 words. That’s talent.

✨Fade into you by @chronically-ghosted Daddy Dieter is my favourite. Taylor is my favourite. This is my favourite. I seriously love everything from this extremely talented writer but the daddy Dieter fics will forever live in my heart especially.

✨Let me get what I want by @for-a-longlongtime H O T 🥵 I had to take breaks reading this because JEEZ it’s insaaane 😵‍💫 I’d like to live right in this fic

✨Someone who calls me baby by @missredherring We saw this thought spawned in the brainrot club and I was beyond excited to see Rachel give us this gorgeous piece of very sweet Javi G x Dieter. I really love your brain.

✨Diana by @demonsandbullets i saw the warnings for this and had a meltdown 🫠 the fic did not disappoint. An initiation for the new Roman general which gives us Sub Bottom!Acacius and pegging. Holy fuck. Some of the best writing I’ve read ever.

🌟Thank you all for sharing your talent and making the year something more special for me

This list is incomplete, I don’t think I could ever compile a complete list of every wonderful creation in the Pedro fandom in a year.

So to everyone else, and everyone in this fandom (everyone who isn’t a bully or a troll trying to ruin the fandom space, at least) :

[iloveundertaesooomuch]

Some advice from AU Calebs!

Heck yeah I did it! Finally i finished ONE of the HUNDREDS AU crossover ideas I have in my head!! Crossovers are fun guys!! (I apologise for a bad english in advance. Writing this it a rush.)

"It's ok to ask for help." (A Reverse Of Feathers And Mud by @jess-the-vampire)

I couldn't make a crossover meme without the legend. Sorry, not sorry. He is such a sad lad but tries to stay positive and be happy for his family uydfykudsutsudskudsluds (*dies*). I have to admitt, Caleb's dad energy is too strong for me to handle without wanting a hug him. No wonder! He was THE grandpa for centuries straight without a break. At least Caleb gets his whole family together in the end. Comics with him and either Hunter and Philip or Luz and Eda make me run in cirles around the room aaaa.

"You are not a burden." (Brother's Keeper by @idoodlestuffsometimes)

Damn, you definetly created one of the darkest AU in the fandom. Each time I re-read AU related posts I scream my lungs out because it is so angsty and so great. I am genuinely scared of your Belos ngl, because.. this man didnt loose anything and he still proceeds to do all that stuff. Enconter with him has 0 survival rate.

POOR CALEB! At least in the world of memes he had an opportunity to flee the captivity twice (the bald head and the car). This man had no moment of mental rest for centuries oh my God. One of my friends wants to fight his brother personally to protec Caleb at all cost sksksk. Well, at least Hunter will always have an actually loving relative! And if the happy ending is going to be canon, I think the future looks great, especially knowing how much pain all your characters go through currently. (And I think both Caleb and Hunter would need the "you are not a burdain" affirmations. At least some form of support in their situation.)

You said in the latest ask-answer that BK!Caleb was supposed to have white streaks in his hair so I attempted to add them. Hope they look fine! Colors for the outfit I got from Belos, so they would match, I guess???

"Murder is okay." (Loose Strings by @oldmanpip)

My bro, brother, friend... Despite you being not to involved on the discord server, my brain is still rotting with your great awesome AUs. And I know you know that. Your Caleb is really loose in all sences of that word and I love that. Wonder if your AUs will ever be available to the public. Because oh boy oh boy they deserve to be recognised. (Loose Caleb is such a conservative grandpa who never did anything wrong, wdym?)

"Your feelings matter." (Pip In Time by @celestialscribbler)

Honestly? Man, your comic is the reason I got invested in Witteclaw couple at all. Even if the "Pip in time" is not their story, but you wrote their teen romance so sweetly. Those two melted my heart... I scream each time I re-read your comic for 100th time. Just WOAH my brain goes brrr! And Caleb as a character is also written really really well. I love him so much. He is such good brother but MAN HE NEEDS A BREAK FROM BEING AN ADULT! BOY! Insirt crying and heart emojis here.

(PS: hope you still care about your health!)

My thoughts:

I have been drawing this for more than a month I think? And the only reason for that is my university. I hope to actually get an ADHD diagnosis because something is clearly wrong with me. But thats not the point.

There are so many ideas in my head. Goofy and not. The only problem is that I have less and less ability to do what I want lately. I wish I could bring them all to life, but at the same I dont know if anyone will be interested. Would AU crossovers look too self-indulgent? Or nah? Idk. (Just Grimwalker-Isle already has so much potential for stupid ridiculous fun I am runnin on coffee juice.)

Litteraly my mind is plagued with different fun plots and possibilities I am going crazy. But I also have A TON of WIPs that I need to finish. Perhaps I will attempt to manage everything at once, but, no promises.

Wish me luck on my exams!