#God damn me and my adhd brain

[val-the-protoss-simp]

The Alien: Romulus poster only it's one of my OCs because I am very normal about this movie. It totally didn't ignite an old obsession I had with this series when I was like fifteen and I am not brainstorming ideas for a stroy that involves my OCs. No, sir

Anyway. Something something having type 1 narcolepsy makes Michael an ideal target for xenomorphs something something he also has earrings now. If this isn't character development then I don't know what is

[b0tster]

its now mandatory for every single game going forward to have the active time lore feature from ff16

[angelstrawbabie420]

dear god im so autistic

[k-phoenix]

hello! i would love to hear the rant about PET scans :3

Holy shit so okay I'm in the train for the next 20 minutes, and I _know_ that's not enough time to get into all of it, but I could rant about this for hours, so. Maybe we cap this at 20 minutes. [20 minutes later] Okay so I wrote a huge wall of very boring text that barely started getting into it, so let me provide way less detail, actually:

It is massively expensive. A PET scanner costs a lot. And it's not a one time purchase, and then you can do scans, no, you wish. You also need some very expensive equipment to create radioactive tracers (which are what is used to do a PET scan) on site, because that stuff needs to be created fresh (under an hour) before every scan. To create the tracers is ALSO incredibly expensive. A single PET scan costs multiple thousands.

This also means that PET research makes use of as few participants as possible. A study with 15 participants is considered big. You simply cannot infer from 15 participants to the whole population. This also means that, statistically, it is highly likely that you don't find an effect even though it exists - meaning if your PET study looks for the effect of A on B, it is highly likely that it will find that A has no effect on B even though it does - simply because you didn't have enough participants (if this explanation doesn't make sense, let me know, and I can explain in detail)

This, together means, that an absolutely absurd amount of money is used for research that, by design, will not find results, because to find results, they would need more participants and even more money.

Because scientific publishing is a shitshow at the moment, research that doesn't find results very rarely gets published, especially not if you can't even be sure whether the result is right. So absurd amounts of money put into research that doesn't even get published.

And I haven't even talked about the results they did find and issues with them. Don't ask me to explain those. Don't tempt me to put hours into writing a multiple page essay that nobody will read.

So, in conclusion: PET is an absolutely amazing feat of engineering that is magnificent in detecting cancer and with it we could learn so. Much. More about the brain and how it works. But to do that, a lot of the basic organisation of how we do science would first need to change. Many labs would have to collaborate and be okay with making the collected data openly available, so appropriate sample sizes (=numbers of participants in a study) can even be achieved (Here's a paper on that). That probably won't happen, though.

Now, obligatory note: one of the professors who taught me about PET is a man who wrote an extremely controversial paper about exactly this stuff, despite also using PET in his research. If you like niche drama in science, look into this paper and all the articles that are responding to it.

[ultimateinferno]

Looking back I think one of the biggest things that got me through uni was that Canvas had calendars that showed when assignments were due and actually let me plan out what tf I was going to do without feeling overwhelmed.

Well... that and being a tutor/TA/lab assistant letting me work on homework during my shifts. Those two things really pushed uni from being agonizing to doable.

[kringelorde]

a’ight so far, early progress with the antipsychotics, we got:

- so so so so SO sleepy syndrome but I napped 2 hrs and it felt like 8 hrs so nice, tight, hell yeah. I cannot keep running on 4 hrs of piss-poor sleep this is NOT sustainable. these fuckers got hands. I wanted to do my usual “nooo I gotta do [x]” schtick but the second they hit, I got dragged kicking and screaming into beddy bye time. kinda dope. - I had the energy and drive to fucking make myself a proper meal for the first time in... oh jesus, like two weeks? I think I’ve been just grazing on bagels, plain rice, and whatever the fuck else I can find for two weeks now (shoveling $1 fries into my mouth between sprinting across campus aside). that’s grim. jesus. so marked improvement. - the anxiety has not gone away... :(

promising!

[hashketchum2]

feeling super high energy today. on one hand, that means the ideas are flowing and i'm feeling pretty good.

on the OTHER hand my brain is also moving way too fast help i can't focus on anything and it's 9pm and i haven't eaten all day i have so many tabs open and ash's tumblr stuff and carrd and photoshop and sai and soulseek and winamp and discord and oh god please help

[redysetdare]

I cant be the only person who finds stim boards annoying*/painful right???

*annoying as in it frustrates the brain to look at not in the sense of it being cringe.

[actual-changeling]

trying to write while incredibly dissociated and now also mildly high on the lorazepam i needed to fix another mental illness issue is like trying to write drunk off of your ass tbh

[saccharinekat]

this explanation sucks so badly it makes me so mad i had to rant in the tags. if you dont care dont open them lmao its long

[speakercrab666]

it’s okay to cop out sometimes. sometimes eating right and going outside just isn’t gonna happen today, and instead of sitting in your bed and feeling guilty for not making a meal and going for a walk, you get an ice cream and a medium fries from mcdonald’s and eat it parked next to a playground with your car door open.

and is it perfect? no, of course not. i’m not even sitting outside i just have the door open and an ice cream and fries hardly counts as a meal. but it’s something, and that is always better than nothing :)

[bagginsluck]

God, my life would be so amazing if my brain worked right

[daddy-socrates]

yahoo i have written 3 pages and some for chapter 3

[finalgirlmoment]

Noteworthy details about the first two PJOTV episodes (spoilers)

First of all, every single of them ATE DOWN. just wanted to throw that out there, i'm so so impressed with the cast, everyone was perfect and gorgeous and i'm completely sat for any and all future installments. A fine piece of media. Let's begin.

Percy's confusion and bewilderment finding out that he's a demigod. "You fell in love with God.... like, Jesus????" LMFAO but seriously his frustration in this moment, thinking there's something actually wrong with his brain, feeling lost and confused and hurt and BROKEN. the struggle in that moment is so relatable to people discovering they have some sort of mental illness or neurodivergence, especially when they weren't believed/listened to etc and i think walker played this part beautifully

GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TOGETHER. GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TO TRAIN PERCY. I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING OFF ROOFTOPS THE IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS HAS???? ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING??????? IMAGINE SEASON 3 PERCY FINDS NICO AND THEY HAVE THIS IN COMMON???????????!?!?!?!?!? FEELING SEVERELY FRANTIC AND MASSIVELY UNWELL ABOUT THIS

luke's empathy towards Percy throughout-- his apologies for what happened to his mother at the bottom of Half Blood Hill, him telling P that he relates to the nightmares, the restlessness, the ADHD..... so fucking sick and fucking twisted, I will be sobbing at the ending, gorgeous job on both ends on making this relationship feel very warm and authentic and the trust starting to build. this will H U R T.

CLARISSE. she's so gorgeous and vindictive. Her beauty took me off guard initially, but she's such a spiteful little badass that I completely fell in love with her. I CANNOT WAIT to see more of her characterization, especially into season two. perfection.

Percy burning the blue jelly beans- the thing he'd miss most- out in the middle of the woods at night in a damn can, just to pray to his MOTHER. *sobbing intensifies* i couldn't ask for a more sweet, heartfelt, honest moment. the perfect addition. 10s across the board

Percy's ANGER. OH BOY this was one of my most favorite parts. I feel like we see Percy as a very happy-go-lucky kid altogether but I loved, LOVED to see his frustration and agitation from the very beginning. Everything is so confusing and foreign and all he knows is that 1. he's been betrayed or left behind by everyone he knows and 2. he's been ignored his whole life by his godly parent. His mission is to MAKE HIS DAD SEE PERCY, at ANY COST. Before he even knows who his dad is. He is entitled to feel ALL of this anger and hurt and resentment!!!!!!!

Annabeth calling Percy "sunshine". TOTAL CULTURAL RESET. I gasped. The dawn of a new age of Percabeth. I will be screaming into my pillow about this for the foreseeable future.

The entire characterization of Percy throughout the capture the flag scene. His contrast of being just a kid- flossing (lol), peeing the woods, petting a gecko, just vibing and hanging out VS. being thrown suddenly into attack from his peers that don't care about the rules, surprising himself and everyone around him with his finesse in battle, quick instincts, swordsmanship..... i'm weak fr. I can't wait to see him grow, train, become stronger and more confident.

Overall, I'm entirely floored and beyond happy. I can't wait to see more. 10/10

[hiding-in-my-blanket-fort]

Soap is THE BEST at healing any social trauma you might have.

He adopts you instantly and he's not shy about it. Slinging an arm around your shoulders as if you've been best friends forever. Sitting next to you and leaning back against you with a big yawn. "What a day, eh?"

Maybe physical contact is a mystery to you because you just...haven't experienced much of it before. With Soap, he acts like it's as easy as breathing.

When you enter the cafeteria, or meet up for lunch, he raises his arm and shouts, "Get over here. Saved a seat for ya."

Steals your fries/chips. Partly because he's a pain in the ass and it's his weird way of showing his affection. Partly because he's challenging you to play along with some friendly banter.

"Are ya just gonna let me rob ya blind without sayin' a word about it? Come on. Let out that mean streak. I know you've got it in ya."

Eventually, you become so comfortable with each other, that when Soap tries to steal a fry/chip, you elbow him away. He elbows back. And it becomes a shoving match (you will lose).

In group settings, Soap has a tendency to get caught up in the moment. He's an adrenaline junkie so he'll get a social buzz pretty quick. But he won't let you get lost in the mayhem. He bounces back to check in with you, or pulls you into the fray (if you're up for it).

Hypes. you. the fuck. up. Oh my god. This man is so damn proud of you just for existing????

Even when it confuses you and you're like, "I'm really not all that."

Doesn't matter. Soap is proud of you for being you.

If you have a personal challenge that other people have deemed "small" or "irrelevant", i.e. anxiety around ordering food for yourself, Soap recognizes the effort it costs you, and he celebrates with you when you conquer it.

Say goodbye to your personal space. Soap doesn't know the meaning of that term.

Big enthusiastic bear hugs that make your ribs creak and your toes lift off the ground.

On movie nights, he flops down onto the couch practically on top of you, pressed shoulder to shoulder, and flicks popcorn at you.

Makes a little smiley face on your knee out of M&Ms or Skittles.

When you have plans for the day, he's an obnoxiously early riser. So he'll just barge into your living space, annoyingly cheerful. If you don't respond quickly enough, he'll pummel you with a pillow until you get up.

He talks over you and interrupts, but it's because of his ADHD brain kicking into overdrive, not because he's ignoring you. Sometimes he'll catch himself doing it and curses himself for not letting you get a word in edgewise.

When you get really comfortable with each other, just punch his arm and tell him to shut the fuck up, I was talking, dumbass.

Sometimes, Soap runs his mouth. And he says shit without thinking it through. It hurts you, even though you know he didn't mean it.

But he's a really good friend, and you don't want to mess up your friendship by saying anything. So you just get really quiet and try to cope with it on your own.

Soap doesn't always notice that something is off at first. When he catches on that you've been out of sorts, he pulls you aside and he's genuinely serious when he asks what's wrong.

You expect him to laugh it off when you explain that he hurt you. Soap is rarely serious around you, right? But he's instantly apologetic and it kinda throws you for a loop because he's not joking around like he usually is???

He tries to make it up to you, typically through food, or letting you win at your favorite game. Anything to lighten the mood and get things back to normal between the two of you.

Then he'll ask, "Are we good?" with the most earnest look. It knocks the breath out of you because you're a traumatized little bean. People don't usually take your feelings into consideration like this.

If someone in the group makes a joke at your expense, Soap has zero problem calling out that shit. He'll tease you, but he won't tolerate anyone putting you down.

Because Soap is so friendly, you really have to TELL HIM that you don't feel like coming out of your shell sometimes. He wants to see you thrive, to show you off, and get everyone else to see how awesome he fully believes you are.

But there are times when you're just not up for it.

Soap is more than happy to accommodate you though. If all you want to do is stay in and watch movies, he'll build you a gigantic blanket nest or a big blanket fort, with plenty of snacks, and settle in for the night.

Masterlist

[yugopossum]

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@definetellynotavampire @z-skull

(Sorry I can't remember the other @ rn)