#they're so comfortable in their masculinity

[sunnyschristiancottage]

I've noticed a lot of people who struggle with gender are atheist as well. I think the main reason (not the only one) why gender dysmorphia has become such a huge issue is because of our society. From what I've noticed, gender dysmorphia starts during most people's teenage years. That's what puberty kicks in, and it's a really confusing time. Your body is doing a lot of weird things, and it's really hard to feel comfortable in your own skin. Our society markets transitioning as the "solution" for this problem. It acts as a way to escape your problems instead of dealing with them and working throughout the hard times so ofc most people are gonna choose that route. For people who start transitioning as adults, for men, there's 2 main reasons why they transition. 1. Because they don't fit into the gender stereotypes, which leads to them thinking they must not be a man. 2. A fetish. Plain and simple. Whether they're aware of it or not. For women, it's usually because of not fitting into the gender stereotypes. Also, women can be cruel and mean to other women who don't fit in. I definitely dealt with this. You've heard about toxic masculinity. Now, I present toxic feminity. I'm a massive tomboy. Always have been. This made me an outsider to a lot of the girls in my communities. A lot of girls didn't pay much attention to me. Some girls were mean to me. But I always got along with my brother and his friends. This led me to believe I must not be a girl. And from what I've seen, it's very similar for many young girls. So yeah. From what I've seen, these are the most common reasons why people become trans. Ofc, humans are very complex, and you gotta take each transitioner case by case. The best I can do online is share my experience so that young people know transitioning isn't the only option, and they will feel comfortable in their bodies eventually, and that they shouldn't run away from their problems but instead face them head on.

[coralpaperthoughts]

random local: so who's the real man in your relationship?

Zuko, who is as drama-tic as ever and with all his refined acting skills, and Sokka, who dresses up in the Kyoshi uniform every weekend just for 'duty', at the same time: Both of us...?

[gu6chan]

thinking about what rubs me so wrong about the writing of furiae really felt like "woman who really only has control over her own mind and fantasies, hardly unable to do anything than what's expected as her both as a goddess and a woman" and how the way the staff viewed the writing of furiae as "woman who can't do anything"

I feel like Tadashi really summed it up good in this passage here

[bgbrry]

i wish there was a way to mute "jonathan sims in a skirt" as a concept but alas i apparently remain the only hater here.

[neverendingford]

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[neonhairspray]

I'm fucking wheezing.

So I stumbled upon another lithuanian interview with Arnas (feels good to have a privilege of being lithuanian myself and understanding it lol) and I'm only ten minutes in. The guy talking with him is a creator of a magazine called "Lamų Slėnis" (Llama Valley) which is like an aesthetic slow living type of magazine. It's not a cheap one, but top quality. He and Arnas met in kind of a bizzare way and so before starting their conversation the guy says that he's a bit anxious (Arnas is like "me too") and proceeds to say why and the last reason?

That guy who's probably in his 40s confesses that "You are the most beautiful lithuanian man I've ever seen, I'm not joking" to which Arnas thanks him looking quite shy 😀

This is hilarious.

[donuts4evry1]

Sorry guys I'm hooked on cis boy khakis and shorts

[g0ddyke]

MMM. just saw a video of a 65 year old butch getting a haircut and first of all. Holy shit hello. But second of all - she was so much like me.

I struggle a Lot with whether or not I'm "actually" butch, right? Am I too quiet, too nervous, too soft. If you asked, I'd say it had less to do with being "butch enough" and more to do with butch Fitting me, but if I'm honest, I think it's one in the same here - a fear that I'm not masc enough to call myself that.

But here's someone else, calling themselves butch, being quiet and polite, expressing her frustration at not getting to say what she wants.. like, obviously, it's just the tiniest glimpse of that. But it's something I can look at and feel better about myself with.

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans boy, especially a teenage trans boy, i wanted to say that as a trans man in their 30's, you have my deepest respects and condolences for what you may be going through right now.

it has become socially acceptable and basically online custom to bully teenage trans boys & mascs, call them cringy, or excuse misgendering them for whatever reason. people put trans boys on this pedestal of "must perform masculinity and manhood to cartoonish degrees" even though they're still children.

people make trans boys fight for their manhood before they can even be boys. i am sorry people can be so judgmental and harsh on you. you are not wrong for wanting to be a boy. you are experiencing something wonderful. it's okay if you still want to be a boy even if people have treated you poorly, or tried to make you feel bad for being a boy. there is nothing wrong with being a boy.

it's okay if you never socially transition. it's okay if you're afraid to come out because it's not safe. it's okay if you never change your outward appearance. it's okay if you try very hard to pass but struggle to. it's okay if you wear "women's" clothing and shoes, bras, makeup, etc., it's okay if you're gay and love other men. it's okay if you're scared of hrt. it's okay if you don't want surgery. it's okay if you mainly occupy girl's spaces still. people will find every reason to pick these things apart and ridicule trans boys for, but they are all perfectly fine experiences that do not make you any less of a boy. you are the one who is in control of your transition, presentation, and state of being- you should be able to prioritize your safety over the comfort of random strangers who have no impact over how you live your life.

i've been put through this too, but later in life as i came out when i was an adult. people still try to make me feel bad for identifying as a trans man, for whatever reason they have in their head to justify hatred of a trans person. i've had enough. there will never be an excuse for how people try to excuse the infantilization and abuse that trans men and trans boys face.

take care of yourselves, no matter what age you are, if you are a trans boy, man, or masc you deserve to know that other trans men care about you, especially when people are scrambling to find ways to punch down on you. there are people who suck, but there are also a lot of people who care about you. keep your chin up. you know who you are

[arolesbianism]

Desperately trying to vibe out whether Otto is a nonbinary person who uses he/him, a nonbinary person who isn't out yet, or an egg in the logs. Can you put your pronouns in ur bio bestie

[littlemoonflowr]

similar thing happened to me on overwatch once, a teammate was flaming me and the only insults he could come up with were slurs so i told him to be original and he said "well, how about this, you, uh, woman" like it was an insult but since it's been so long since i've been misgendered like that i couldn't take it seriously and just ended up laughing so hard i got a warning for inappropriate communication when i logged on the next day. i now use she/her online (not solely) because of this; it doesn't give dysphoria anymore it just makes me giggle a bit

another funny gender moment for me was when i was playing tf2 and someone on my team referred to me with he/him

and it threw me off for a second because i'm just not used to being referred to by anything other than she/her i realized i was otherwise completely fine with it

so i just thought to myself "well at least now i know for sure i'm fine with any pronouns"

that person was also calling me a clueless f2p but i didn't really care because it was true and them and some others on my team ended up helping me learn how to play which was very cool

so anyways, thank you random tf2 players for helping me figure out my pronouns and how to play medic

[manslaught]

last tswift post (of the night) but i'm seeing her in exactly a week and i still don't know what to wear

[dunmeshistash]

Idk if this has been asked before but anything you wanna say about Lycion? like I love how he's basically a trans allegory

I love it too! I love Lycion so much, all the canaries to be honest, they're my favorite gender.

Here's his extra from the adventurer's Bible for those who haven't seen it

I think people smarter than me have made great analysis of his character and how it relates to being trans/body dysmorphia. But I'm really happy he got a body where he feels more comfortable in, and I love the bit from the beastmen monster tidbit where Laios judges him for not being an accurate furry and Lycion calls him an wannabe lmao. Get his ass Lycion

I am also completely in love with his friendship with Fleki. Makes me really happy to see an intense friendship between opposite genders cause it's so rare. And they're both so precious.

Getting a little off topic but I can't with the canaries... Did you know Otta is Butch/Masc presenting? I couldn't tell because the Elves are all so androgynous I assumed the short hair was normal but apparently its an active choice for her to look more masculine I love it.

It's more obvious in the modern clothing drawings

Sorry I got side-tracked, it's cause these are the canaries to me

[youling-the-ghost]

I always watch every sfth video twice to catch all these little things lol I love them

I love seeing them like talk or whisper or laugh with each other on the sides when they’re not in a scene so much

[ms-demeanor]

Some people on the left are discussing whether the left is kind enough to me. Especially after the results of the election like lots of men of some demographics voting for Trump. Do you have any thoughts on that? Seems more about women should be nicer to men in some people’s opinions. And I am not sure about this discourse

i think that the social atomization that contributes to the radicalization of young men also contributes to, like, tradwifery and the radicalization of young women so I think that people are looking at a deep systemic issue with a shallow lens.

I don't think this is so much an issue of people being "nice" but of spaces making people feel *valued.*

The right-wing space full of toxic masculinity where people call disaffected young men "brother" isn't comforting just because people call you brother, it's because they're framing disaffected young men as valuable members of society who have been dismissed and degraded by the left. It tells them they're important and have worth and are necessary for the future of the world just because of who they are.

Of course they're getting called pussies and cucks and are being bullied in that space, but they're also being told that if they perform a certain standard of masculinity they are the future of their nation/race/species/family/etc. The toxicity of that space isn't something that makes them question their value, or whether or not they're a good person, or if they have something to offer the world. It is something they endure to prove that they are a member of the in-group, and that they belong, and that they do have value and are a good person.

So, there are people dunking on that post because it does kind of read like "i was almost eaten up by the alt right because women weren't nice enough to me" and to an extent i think that it was ungracefully worded. But i also think that it's addressing something that a lot of people feel in a lot of political spaces.

I do not think that whatever the hell we consider "the mainstream left" in America is particularly welcoming to anybody. I think that it very superficially values diversity while not actually valuing people. I think that it says "You are important! And that's why I need you to donate three dollars to my campaign to prevent the Republicans from harming [your identity group]! I am asking for your help as a senator, a mother, and a person who wants to defeat my opponent in two to four years."

I think that what a lot of people are looking for is not acceptance or niceness but is a community and i'm not at all surprised that people feel like they're not getting that from democrats/the mainstream left/whatever.

I mean. My real response to this is:

I don't think that the *actual* issue is that men don't feel welcomed by "the left," I definitely don't think the issue is women being insufficiently nice to men, I think the issue is that all of us are little cogs in a capitalist machine and actually there's very little out there that is saying to anyone "you are worth more than your productivity."

And it turns out that people will put up with huge amounts of abuse if the abuser makes them feel like they belong. People getting sucked into the alt-right pipeline because it is "nice" to them are exactly analogous to people who get sucked into cults because the cult provides community and affirmation and a sense of belonging.

Anyway, I am once again and as always begging people to put together or join any kind of at-least monthly meetup based on your specific interests. Start a radio club. Start a quilting circle. Put together a free store at the park once a month. Literally join a drum circle. Participate in a community garden. Start a walking club with your neighbors. Go to events at the library on weekends.

As a side note: there absolutely are lefty spaces that function by making people feel worthless or feel like bad people. They tend to have high turnover, short lifespans, and explosive fallout. These are shitty spaces and if your participation in a space is primarily motivated by some combination of guilt and self-flagellation, you should leave that space.