#they're so comfortable in their masculinity
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yes it is AND THAT'S THE POINT!! here's my lengthy explanation i typed out some other time but it's relevant so i'm sharing it here too:
ok so. pre-martinaise harry is the definition of toxic masculinity. he's insecure as hell and keeps trying to prove to others (and himself) how super macho and cool he is. especially after being dumped by a gorgeous woman. therefore he's also "ashamed" of being bisexual. he likes vic (loves him, even) but all his public displays of affection are masked as "jokes" and playful workplace banter. he keeps the facade of confidence so perfectly that even though people joke about them being gay it's in a way that is "oh du bois is so straight, there's no way any of this is true.", which is why it doesn't bother him.
he loves how dependent vic is on him and he is possessive about it. someone hurts vic? they'll regret it immensely. someone gets too close to him? he'll de-escalate that relationship and keep jean close to him. jean is also dependent on him in a technical sense of course, being his junior/satellite officer and jumping rank so fast thanks to him, but it goes beyond that. from the outside, he's jean's protector. he's the one holding the leash.
though this isn't entirely true when they're alone. harry would never let vic take the reigns in any situation, romantic, platonic, sexual, whatever, but there is a part of him that desperately wants to. he doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable, would never be the one submitting to jean, but there are times where jean has had to comfort him sobbing on his shoulder, on his chest. where he had to force the gun out of his mouth. as protective as harry is of jean from the outside, jean protects harry when they're alone and at their worst. it gives him purpose, combined with work and working out. keep harrier alive. keep him functioning.
so it is sort of a mutual understanding, a game they play where jean lets harry be in control and in a sense he is, cause jean would never be able to leave him, no matter how horrible it got. harry takes the initiative, he kisses jean first, he fucks him, he tells him to meet up in his apartment, etc. yet a part of both of them know that it's mutual. that harry needs vic as much as he needs harry, and they perpetuate this cycle by depending on each other endlessly and never working to get better. they enable each other in the worst ways while also keeping each other alive. toxic, cursed, but it is inevitable.
#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium art#harry du bois#jean vicquemare#jeanharry#you asked for this buddy sorry
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I'm stuck with a phobia
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
Pairing: Og8 X gn reader
Summary: You're struggling with your anxiety when your boyfriend comforts you.
Genre: Comfort/hurt
Word Count: 5.3K
Anxiety resources
Trigger warning: General anxiety, testing anxiety, anxiety surrounding hospitals and doctors/nurses, brief mention of insecurities, social anxiety, and over-stimulation.
A/N: To whoever requested this, you requested 3racha members specifically, but I didn't want to leave the other members out, so they're all here. Each scenario is different and most are based on different scenarios that can cause anxiety/anxiety attacks. Some of these are a little more serious than others, but I think you get the gist.
_ _ _
Chan:
You couldn’t remember the last time that you weren’t in a constant state of anxiety. Anxiety always draped over your shoulders like a shawl you couldn't rip off. A suffocating scarf that grew tighter and tighter around your throat.
Your heart bucked against your chest, a weak attempt at trying to dislodge from the anxiety in your body. It never worked. It tried and tried and tried, but your sternum was far too strong.
Despite being there, you learned to live with it. You learned to try to ignore the heavy thumps and distract yourself with simplicities; anything to get away from the feeling of your soul being caged. Usually, you could distract yourself, but tonight was different.
It uprooted from nowhere. A current of anxiety pulled you into the depths of your head and suddenly, still half-asleep in the middle of the night, the what-ifs were coming back. What if you weren’t good enough? What if you weren’t a great person? What if Chan’s love for you was all a lie?
Beside you, Chan’s eyelashes cast shadows on his sleeping face. Soft lips pressed together and, for once in his life, that furrow of concentration didn’t hang in his brow. That grit of determination was gone. For tonight, he wasn't just a leader. He wasn’t a member; he wasn’t anything other than Chan, your boyfriend.
You tried to be quiet as you shifted the blankets and attempted to leave the bed. The squeak of the bed frame and the dip of the bed stirred his sleep. Your name left his lips and a hand stretched out to touch you, but you were already standing up.
“Baby?” His half-lidded eyes open. Darkness swarmed his vision and you froze. He blinked and blinked and blinked, trying to cast shapes to the shadows. “Baby?”
“I’m right here,” you finally whispered. “Go back to sleep. It’s too early to get up.”
“Where are you going?”
“To get a glass of water.” Your voice came out groggy and unconvincing.
He reached up, rubbed his eyes, and his mouth stretched into a yawn. “What are you really doing?”
“I’m anxious and I can’t sleep. It’s never ending and I’ve been trying to sleep, but over the past few hours, I kept waking up. I’m not sure what it is, but it won’t go away. Go back to sleep, I’m going to-”
His arms stretched out in your direction. A silent and simple command, come here. You hesitated and didn’t budge from your spot. “You should go back to sleep. Seriously, Chan, you have to be up early tomorrow.”
“You either get in my arms or I follow you to the couch.”
He was so stubborn. You didn’t know if it made you hate him or love him. So stubborn, so determined, such a pain in your ass. A constant nag and a forever reminder that you weren’t alone.
You sighed, stepped back, and crawled back into the bed. He wrapped his muscular arms around you and pulled you closer. The scent of his body wash was faint, but the woodsy masculine scent still lingered.
“Close your eyes.”
You let your eyes fall and sighed again. He pressed a quick kiss to the side of your head before softly beginning to sing. The worry in your heart melted away instantly. You began to relax and let his sleepy voice lull you back to sleep.
Dating a singer had more perks than you’d like to admit.
_ _ _
Minho:
“What is wrong with you?” Minho asked.
The two of you were sitting in his living room and watching a movie. Halfway through, you shifted in your chair and became fidgety. You shrugged and waved him off, not wanting to distract him.
His eyes narrowed at you, but he didn’t prod. Knowing you, you probably just needed to adjust your spot or something. You were never great at sitting still for long periods of time. After a few more minutes, you shifted again. Your nails curled into your palms and the sharp edges bit into your skin.
You shifted to comfort yourself a few seconds later. When your knee started bouncing, Minho grabbed the television remote and paused the screen. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t do that. Your thing-” He gestured towards you. “You’re anxious or something. Your knee is bouncing and you can’t sit still. Why are you anxious?”
“Because I’ve never seen this movie and what if my favorite character dies?” You slumped back in the seat with a frown. “Don’t you have a heart? How are you not anxious about this?”
“So anxious, to where you can’t stop moving?”
Your hand went up in defeat. “I can’t help it! I’m always like this when I don’t know the ending of a movie. I’m trying not to look up how it ends, but I want to. I can't stand the suspense!”
“Hold on.”
You watched as Minho slid across the hardwood floor and disappeared into the kitchen. Upon his return, he presented you with Dori's familiar black and brown coating. His feet dangled helplessly as Minho approached.
“Have a cat.”
“What is-”
“Hold on.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, but you grabbed Dori anyway. You shifted, trying to keep him comfortable. Small paws pressed into your lower stomach. He tried to pull away from you to lie on your thighs.
Your head poked up at the sound of incoming footsteps. When you looked up, an unhappy Soonie glared at you. You pressed your lips together, trying not to laugh. “What is this?”
“Have a cat.”
“Minho, this is-”
“Wait.”
You tried not to laugh as he disappeared again. Dori shifted and Soonie’s head went back with a loud meow of distress. You reached up and gently patted his head, trying to calm him down.
Footsteps patted your way for a final time and when you looked up, the sleepy eyes of Doongie were staring back, full of obvious annoyance. Minho pressed him further, nearly pushing into your nose. “Here, have a cat.”
You let him place Doongie on your chest. He reached out and used a finger to tap the top of each of their heads. “One cat, two cats, three cats, and-”
You glanced up and, to your surprise, he tapped the tip of your nose. “Four cats.”
“I’m not a cat!”
“Four cats.”
You grumbled and complained, your anxiety long forgotten about. Doongie shifted, nearly falling off your chest. You quickly grabbed him and leaned back so he wouldn’t roll. “There are too many cats in my lap.”
“Nuh-uh.”
You opened your mouth to bicker, but your words halted. Minho shifted Dori and Soonie, so he could squirm into your lap with them. Your eyes widened as he sat across your lap. “What are you-”
“Five cats.”
“Lee Minho!”
“Sorry, I only speak cat.” He picked up Dori’s paw and waved it in your direction. Garbled meows in various pitches fell from his lips. All you could do was stare at him blankly as he took Dori’s paw and gently booped your nose with it.
Clearly, growing up as an only child with three cats has drastic effects on the human psyche.
_ _ _
Changbin:
You decided when you were a kid that quizzes were your worst enemy. Ever since you were in elementary school and colorful motivational posters plastered the walls, you knew you’d always hate tests. Tests. Quizzes. Finals. All of it.
As you grew up and enrolled in college, things didn’t change. Your kitchen table was full of opened textbooks and sticky note reminders. Highlighters swept over topics in notebooks. A headache had been pulsing behind your left eye since you started.
You were drowning in academics. Even worse, you were drowning alone. Changbin was out at a photoshoot and you were on your own until sometime late tonight. It was perfect in your head. You were two weeks away from finals and now you had plenty of time to study.
You were trying your best. You did what you could, but the more you pressured yourself into studying more, the more the content wasn’t sticking. There was too much stuff for each subject and not enough space in your head. Everything you just spent two hours drilling into your frontal cortex; it was gone.
You scanned the pages of the textbooks, reading the words, but never truly soaking them in. Words and words and words and words. Some are more complex than others, but it was all the same. You were so focused and anxious about forgetting and failing; it was the only thing taking up space in your head.
You shoved everything away from you in a fit of rage. A textbook snapped shut and hit the floor with a loud thud. Your neatly stacked vocabulary cards that were in alphabetical order, they slipped over the edge too. The twenty minutes you spent organizing them were all for nothing. They scattered in every direction and brought tears to your eyes.
Your face found your hands and that’s where they stayed. Elementary tests were far different from college tests. Twenty percent of these finals went to your final grades. Your final grades were important, especially in the classes you really struggled with. The difference between passing and failing was huge.
“Honey, I’m home!” Changbin called out. “I’m home and I brought food! Have you eaten anything?” Footsteps echoed from the living room and moved closer.
You didn’t bother looking up. On the verge of bursting into sobs, you stayed buried in your hands. Changbin’s eyes went to everything covering the table. “Woah! What’s all this?”
He placed the plastic bag on the side of the counter and approached you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” A comforting hand found your shoulder. “Why are your note cards and textbook on the floor? Did something happen?”
You pulled your face away from your hands with tears in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m stressed and anxious. As you can see, I’m trying to study, but nothing is sticking.” You sniffled and wiped away a tear. “Why are you home from the shoot early? Did something happen?”
“No, we finished early. Apparently, we all behaved well and behaving means getting work done earlier. That’s not the point. Do you have tests coming up?” His fingers started at your crown and gently tugged back your hair.
“Finals. They’re two weeks away and I could use the head start, but-” You gestured at the mess, “it’s not going so well.”
“I can see that. How about-” He gently grabbed a fistful of your hair and leaned your head back to face him. “We clean this up and we eat. After dinner, we’ll pick one subject and start there. I’ve heard that if you can successfully teach what you’re learning to someone, it means you’ve mastered understanding it.”
Your lips tugged into a pouting frown. More tears filled your eyes and you reached up to wipe them away. Changbin followed your reaction with his own frown. “Why are you crying?”
“Because you’re sweet and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you.”
“Nonsense, everyone deserves their own Changbinnie.” He reached down and placed a soft kiss against your pouty lips. “Go clean up and I’m going to stack these on the counter.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Now hurry!” He pulled away and shooed you. “The food is going to get cold and you know how I feel about cold food. Bleh.”
_ _ _
Hyunjin:
“Sweetheart, you can’t stay in the car the entire day.” Hyunjin hung against the wide open passenger door with an amused smile. “You know I’m stronger than you, right? I could just simply lean down and tug you straight out of there.”
You threw him a weak side eye. This morning, you woke up feeling awful. Since it was his day off, Hyunjin had been taking care of you the entire evening. Every few hours, he had been taking your temperature. When it spiked three degrees in a few hours, he insisted on taking you to the hospital.
The only issue? You hated hospitals and doctors. Not once in your life had you ever trusted a nurse. In the middle of your fever, your anxiety sky-rocketed. You begged him not to take you, but here the two of you were now. He parked right beside the emergency room door, but you refused to get out of his car.
“What if I go in there and they only give me twenty-four hours to live?” You hoarsely uttered.
“Then we better get in there to make sure you have twenty-four hours and not twenty-three.”
“What if they tell me I have cancer?”
“Sweetheart-”
“Or what if it’s worse than that? What if I have a broken bone that I’m not aware of? My foot has been hurting since I rolled it a few days ago and maybe it healed wrong. What if they have to break it again and it goes wrong? What if it gets infected and I lose my entire leg?”
He called your name, but you didn’t respond. You were too busy voicing your concerns out loud. “What if,” you continued, “they find out I’m really sick and they have to give me a shot in the butt?”
He blinked, completely surprised. “What if they what?”
“You heard me, Hyunjin! What if they have to give me a shot in the ass? Why can’t we just go back to that sweet pink medicine that was stored in the fridge? Why do doctors cause misery?” You threw your head back against the seat and continued whining.
You knew you were being dramatic, but between your high fever and your anxiety, you were spiraling. Just thinking about going in and being poked and prodded in your state. It was unfathomable.
“Or, I know this sounds crazy, but what if you just go in, they diagnose you, give you some medicine, and we go back home?”
“Why would they do that? They’re evil doctors,” you whined as your head slumped to your chest. You were exhausted and trying to fight with Hyunjin, it was getting harder and harder to stay on topic. Your body ached and wanted to nod off.
“They’re not evil and I’ll be right there with you the entire time.” He reached down and scooped you into his arms. “Do you think I’d let them hurt you? No way.”
You groaned as your head shifted against the warmth of his chest. “They’re gonna kill me, probably. Kill me and rip my limbs apart. They’re going to feed me my feet and they’re going to-”
He snorted and squeezed you tighter. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Doctors wouldn’t do such an outrageous thing. They want to help you, not feed you your own feet.”
“I forgot you’d eat my feet.”
“Huh?”
“You ate Minho’s foot in that one photo.”
“Honey, I think you’re delirious from your fever.”
Your eyes drooped and the emergency doors swung open. The scent of disinfectant hit you and your eyes slipped shut. You mumbled his name, but he didn’t stop walking to the front desk. He started explaining the situation to a nurse.
That didn’t stop you from trying to explain how you needed your feet as you succumbed to sleep.
_ _ _
Han:
“I’m anxious,” you uttered as you laid on the living room floor. Your limbs sprawled out and your gaze caught the spinning ceiling fan. Wooden panels whirled around so fast that they were a giant blur.
“Me too.” Han agreed as he laid a few feet away from you. “I don’t know what I’m anxious about. What are you anxious about?”
“The future, I think. How does it happen? What if it goes wrong? What if I make the wrong mistakes? What if I fuck it up?”
Han’s eyes widened and his adam’s apple bobbed with a gulp. “Okay, cool. Now you have me anxious about the future, too.”
“What if we break up?”
“What if we’re together for the rest of our lives?” He countered.
“Woah, are we prepared for that? For this forever? I want to say that I am, but forever is an awfully long time.”
“Isn’t it a good thing?”
“Listen, I’ve been a victim of your farts.”
He reached over and playfully slapped his hand on your shoulder, causing you to laugh. “Shut up!” He whined. “Yours are ten times worse than mine.”
“Nuh-uh!”
“Yeah-huh!”
“Prove it!” You challenged.
“Stage one, denial.”
You burst into a fit of giggles and he followed. Your hands curled up over your stomach as you shook. For a few brief moments, you pushed the anxiety from the front of your head. You sucked in a deep breath and let it out.
“But really,” you continued, “how do you stop your anxiety?”
“I ignore it by watching anime. How do you stop yours when it’s bad?” He shifted so he could stare at you. You didn’t move from laying on your back. His arm moved up to prop his head.
“I do whatever I can to escape reality. Most of the time, it’s social media or shoving my nose in a book.”
“Sometimes I bother one of the guys. Life feels better when I’m with them. Even if it’s just one, I feel less stressed. We’re always laughing together so…”
“I understand, it’s a really special bond that you have with the other group members. I’ll admit that it makes me jealous. It just sounds nice and what you have, it’s so authentic and real, you know? You don’t just have one good person, you have seven. I’m sure you have more than that, but-”
“It really is special, isn’t it?” He smiled to himself and shifted back onto his back.
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes when I’m really stressed, I go visit Minho. Every now and then, we’ll go to his parents’ house to see his cats. That’s my favorite way to ease anxiety.”
“If only you had a pet.”
He nodded in agreement and the two of you sat in silence again. Tangled in your own thoughts, your eyes went back to the spinning ceiling fan. You watched it spin around and around and around and-
“Holy shit!” You jerked upright with wide eyes. “Han Jisung, you idiot!”
“Huh?”
“You have a dog!”
“I have a dog?”
“Bbama!”
“Obama?” He echoed, feeling more confused. “The former president of the-” His eyebrows furrowed until he gasped and slammed a hand over his mouth. “Oh my god, I have a dog!” He shoved himself to his feet and grabbed your arm. “Come on, we gotta go visit Bbama!”
“Obama,” you mocked him as you followed.
He turned around and stuck his tongue out at you. Yours poked out and caused him to huff. “Shut up,” he finally grumbled. “So I forgot I had a dog! Sue me!”
“Bbama might.”
_ _ _
Felix:
“It’s not funny!” You childishly stomped your foot and placed your hands on your hips.
Across the way, there were tears in Felix’s eyes. The two of you had been posing in front of Hyunjin’s camera and trying to take cute photos together. The last one came out with your eyes in two different directions and half-closed.
Hyunjin was trying not to laugh, for your sake, but Felix was losing it. For the past two minutes, he’d been on the ground with a hand on his stomach. Just when he thought he composed himself, laughter broke back out.
“Baby, p-please,” he weakly uttered. “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to-” His words cut off with more laughter.
You didn’t want to do this because of this reason. The two of you were supposed to go official with your relationship and you wanted a cute photo to announce it on Instagram. Hyunjin offered to take it, but none of them were coming out right.
You were anxious, worried that the photos would all come out ugly, and here you were actually living that scenario. Your cheeks were red with humiliation, but it didn’t seem to bother Felix. He was still cracking into fits of giggles.
“It’s not funny,” you mumbled again, feeling more and more miserable. “I told you this was a bad idea.”
Felix shook his head and blonde tendrils went flying. “No, i-it wasn’t a bad idea. This was the best idea. I just wasn’t expecting that angle. It was one poor photo and-”
“It feels like every photo has been a poor photo. I’m not doing it right. I don’t know how to pose like you do. I’m not used to-”
“Hey,” he shoved himself off the ground, “it’s okay, really.”
“No, it’s not. You keep laughing at me. I feel like we’re wasting Hyunjin’s time. So much of his time that he just disappeared to go find a snack while we recouped.”
“Hyunjin is a growing man. You couldn’t help that if you wanted to. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just-” He reached forward and gently cupped your cheeks. “I love you so much, you don’t understand it.”
“I don’t like being laughed at, even if it’s just a silly photo. I’m always afraid that-”
His head shook. “I’m not laughing at you. I mean, I am, but I’m laughing at the pose you ended up in. Think about it. Wouldn’t you laugh if Hyunjin snapped a photo of me in that same pose?”
“I guess.” He narrowed his eyebrows at you. “Okay, I guess if the roles were reversed, I’d probably laugh a lot. I look like an idiot.”
“Exactly.” He pressed on your cheeks and caused your lips to press together. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you so much.”
Your cheeks went red and your lips grew into a smile. He grinned and leaned forward and then-
Flash!
Felix jerked away with a groan and you blinked rapidly, trying to gain your vision back. His hands went up to rub his eyes. “Hyunjin?”
“I got it! This is the perfect photo! Oh, you guys are just so cute!” He squealed as he stared at the screen on his camera. “That speech? Disgustingly cute. This photo? Fan wars are going to be caused.”
“Hyunjin,” Felix warned.
“What? I’m just saying.” He shrugged and spun the lens towards the two of you. “What do you think?”
As you stared at the photo of Felix’s twinkling eyes, a smile on his face, and your own blushing smile; you knew he was right, it was perfect. _ _ _
Seungmin:
“And this.” Seungmin grabbed an item from the shelf and placed it in the grocery cart. “And this. One of these,” he picked up two more items and dropped them into the cart. “Three of these and-”
Your arms curled around yourself tighter. To Seungmin, grocery shopping was a necessity. To you? It was, but specifically, when the store wasn’t thriving with customers. Showing up around five on a Friday evening was the worst thing you agreed to do.
Seungmin had the list and he was carefully marking items off one-by-one. You were behind him and stressed out. The moment you walked into the store beside him, you swore you could feel the pulsing and stressful energy of the crowd.
People were rushing in and out of the aisles. Some were getting pushy while waiting for their turn to look at a specific product. Seungmin didn’t seem to mind the chaos. Maybe he did and he just tuned it out somehow, but you? You didn’t work like that.
You were feeling stressed and wanting to cry. More and more people were slowly entering the front of the aisle that you just came down. You swore you could feel the annoyance of some. It didn’t help that Seungmin kept stopping every few feet to check off an item and calculate the prices of everything.
“Seungmin?” You spoke up nervously as you glanced over your shoulder.
“Hm?”
“Can we please leave this aisle?”
“Hold on, let me add these two numbers together.”
You sighed, but continued waiting. Your brain screamed and begged you to get out of the aisle, but you stayed close to Seungmin. You shut your eyes to focus on your irregular breaths and when you opened them a few moments later, Seungmin was gone.
Your eyes widened and you stepped forward, but before you got far, a cart hurried past you. You jumped, side-stepping, and trying to get out of the way as a random woman sped by. Your hands curled into fists and you pressed yourself against the colorful cereal boxes, trying to make yourself smaller and take up less space.
Out of the aisle, you glanced around, but Seungmin was missing. Cursing beneath your breath, you hurried to the next aisle and glanced down at it, only to find it void of the light blue hoodie he was wearing.
You searched and the more you searched, the more your anxiety grew. The overhead lights were too white and too bright. The chattering of people grew louder and louder. Your own heartbeat hammered against your ears.
A lump built in your throat, but you forced yourself to swallow it. You hated crowds; you hated the congestion of people, and more importantly, you hated that feeling of suffocation that sat upon the top of your chest. It compressed your lungs and made breathing barely operable.
Blinking rapidly, you tried to focus on the task at hand. Walking around felt nearly impossible. Too many people had carts and weren’t paying attention. Someone was texting and another one was making a phone call. Someone else stopped in the middle of an aisle and pressed buttons on their phone.
“Excuse me,” you uttered as you walked around them.
You squeezed your eyes shut at the huff that left their mouth. “Some people have no manners,” they grumbled. Unaware that they did anything wrong, they hurried away, only to stop in front of the opening of another aisle to pull out their phone again.
You wandered around again, trying to find Seungmin, but to no avail. Your hand reached into your back pocket to grab your phone. Just as you considered talking to him, you pulled your hand away from your phone. He shut his phone off at the beginning of the trip, not wanting to be interrupted.
Frustrated and too upset to function, you checked a few more aisles, but you couldn’t find him. You began to head towards the door, assuming you’d just wait in the car until he got back. You walked and walked and walked until a car bumped into the back of your ass.
You wheeled around and there stood Seungmin. His grin fell when he took in your teary eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“There’s too many people. I couldn’t find you and I’m so overstimulated. I thought you were a stranger and I just-”
“Breathe,” he reminded you as he stepped out from behind the cart. “I’m sorry. I thought you were behind me when I left the cereal aisle. I turned around and you were gone. I was grabbing items in another aisle and I figured you’d find me. I didn’t think-”
“It’s not your fault. I can’t help my social anxiety, it’s just so busy. Some woman was so rude to me. I just want to go wait outside. I feel overwhelmed and it’s becoming a struggle to breathe.”
“Do you want me to go with-”
Your head shook. “Finish shopping and I’ll wait for you in the car. I’m sorry, I wanted to help you, but-”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I should have considered how busy the store is at this time of the night. You go to the car and I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”
“I love you.”
Not caring that he was in the middle of the store, he leaned up, grabbed your cheeks, and pressed his lips against yours in a soft kiss. A sweet unexpected gesture that tasted like spearmint and your salted tears.
“I love you too. Now get out of my store,” he grinned. “No adult supervision. I’m going to get dino nuggets.”
_ _ _
Jeongin:
Jeongin had seen a lot of stupidity over the years. He saw it in his fellow idol members. He saw it blatantly stamped all over the idol industry. It was rare that the stupidity came from you, but today was different.
He shielded the top of his head with his arm to block the rain from his vision. The keys jingled in his hand and his shoe squeaked on the entry to your shared home. He grumbled and ripped off his damp coat.
The rain hadn’t stopped pouring for what seemed like hours. A constant downpour that was steadily sprinkled with thunder and lightning. Earlier, the power to his company’s building went down after lightning struck a nearby power cord. He finished the rest of his schedule via a backup generator.
He kicked off his shoes and called your name. He expected you to be taking a nap. On certain evenings, you did. Some days, you stayed up late, came home, and indulged in a few hour nap. He grew used to the routine, but you weren’t on the couch.
He headed to your shared room and, to his surprise, you weren’t there either. You had to be home, he knew that. Your phone was there on the nightstand and face down. Your shoes, he put his own right next to them.
He called your name, but you didn't respond. Just as he was about to call your name again, there was a flash. Through the glass sliding door, the balcony lit up and there you were. Squatting on the ground, huddled around yourself, and soaking wet, you sat in a small ball.
His eyes widened and he rushed forward. He tugged on the balcony door, only to find it locked. He cursed, flipped the lock, and swung the door open. “What are you doing out here? Get inside now!” He called out over the loud sound of heavy rain.
Your eyes half-opened at the sound of your name. You glanced over to find a worried Jeongin. He grabbed your forearm and tugged your dripping and shivering body back inside. His eyes scanned you up and down.
“What happened to you? What did you do? Why were you locked on the balcony?”
“I was anxious,” you mumbled. “I went out to get fresh air and I must have slammed the door shut too hard and the lock flipped. When I went out, it wasn’t raining.”
“But it’s been raining for hours!”
“Has it? I just woke up freezing cold a few minutes ago, I think. It’s not too bad after you get used to being soaked.”
He sighed and grabbed the end of your shirt. “Arms up.”
You didn’t fight him tugging off your shirt. “You’re such an idiot,” he mumbled. “You’re going to catch a cold by wearing these soaking wet clothes. You’re going to wake up with a fever and sniffles.”
“On the bright side of things, I don’t feel anxious anymore.”
“Because you’re too cold to feel it.” He sighed and grabbed the warmest blanket he could find. “From now on, if you go out onto the balcony when I’m gone, crack the door.”
“Okay.”
“What were you anxious about, anyway?”
“I don’t know. I’m too cold to remember, but this blanket is so warm. Have I ever told you I love you?”
“Sometimes I think I should reconsider my offer.”
“That’s not nice.”
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way at certain times.”
“Only when you wear ugly shoes.”
| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |
Taglist: @lia-linny @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman @danihwang882 @inlovewithstraykids
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Ko-fi
#stray kids#stray kids fanfic#stray kids drabbles#skz fanfic#bang chan#lee know#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfiction#skz x you#skz x y/n#skz comfort
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youtube
ASMR | Castlevania - Alucard x Listener SFW Comforting Alucard After A Nightmare
[M4A] [Set soon after the finale of Castlevania Season 4 (there are no Nocturne spoilers here)] [Established romantic relationship] [Reverse nightmare comfort] [TW mentions of death, murder, very brief mention of Alucard's sexual assault that happens in season 3, death of parents and grieving]
Didn't realise season 2 of Nocturne was releasing so soon and I wasn't sure if I'd get around to watching it, saw one picture of Olrox, and whoops watched the entire season in one evening. This audio was requested before season 2 came out and was scheduled for later but I brought it forwards since hopefully there will be some want for Alucard right now. I got too inot this one and how much I need Vlad and Lisa to have told Adrian that they're still alive that while pretending to cry in this audio I actually started crying oops. It's a shame the Castlevania shows aren't more popular. I always see such a lack of fanworks compared to other shows like Arcane. I know there is more horror and violence in Castlevania than Arcane, but Castlevania and Nocturne are such wonderful shows, well-written, beautifully animated, and nice representation on top of all of that.
A non-spoilery thing that got me with season 2 is how often Mizrak was allowed to cry, not just a little welling of tears in his eyes, this big stereotypically macho masculine man was allowed to just sob over and over, in front of other men, and he was never shamed for it, never embarrassed by doing it. And that shouldn't be so groundbreaking to me in 2024, but sadly I think there still isn't enough of male characters being allowed to show intense emotions that aren't anger. I've also loved in the Castlevania shows how gay/queer relationships are normalised. Striga and Morana, Alucard being bisexual, Olrox and Mizrak... there's never any homophobia thrown at them by other characters. Mizrak might have internalise-homophobia, but his inner conflict seems to more be because Olrox is a vampire not that he's a man. And I don't care whether that's historically accurate, I personally like seeing historical and fantasy settings where they just decide homophobia/transphobia don't exist. I don't think that's erasure, I think it can be an enjoyable fantasy for queer people to enjoy a period drama where queer people can exist in the open with the understanding that this is a fantasy piece and not a historical documentary. I don't know, maybe that's just me who loves historical settings who would love to see and read stories about gay and trans characters being able to be out in the 1800s and what that would look like, what a 1700s binder could have looked like, what 1920s advertisements for shaving razors aimed at trans fems could have looked like, things like that. I don't know, maybe that's just me, I just think it's fun to think about. Sorry that this ramble ended up in an audio description.
Anyway I'm glad I got an Alucard request, I love him very much. And I love his Nocturne design. I've seen some complain about it but they frankly sound like borderline transphobia when they're complaining that he 'looks to feminine'. I think he looks beautiful, and it's definitely giving the same aesthetics as Ayami Kojima's original illustrations and concept for Castlevania where frankly most of the men she draws look more androgynous than typically 'masculine'.
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Old public spicy audios on sound gasm (link in pinned post). 2 Exclusive spicy audios on Patreon every month. I also stream on Twitch every week @ dervampireprince . [minors + ageless blogs dni. this blog is for 18+ only.] [do not repost/reupload/edit any of my content]
#the vampire whispers#alucard#castlevania alucard#castlevania#adrian tepes#adrian farenheit tepes#adrian tepes x reader#alucard x reader#adrian tepes x listener#alucard x listener#imagine#imagines#headcannon#headcannons#x reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#female reader#male reader#nonbinary reader#trans reader#Youtube
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random local: so who's the real man in your relationship?
Zuko, who is as drama-tic as ever and with all his refined acting skills, and Sokka, who dresses up in the Kyoshi uniform every weekend just for 'duty', at the same time: Both of us...?
#they're both confused#like ?? we are both men??#they're so comfortable in their masculinity#it's hot#and this is like post-war#coz that's the only time i can see zukka actually working#as well as being healthy#zukka#zuko#sokka#atla#avatar: the last airbender#drag Sokka#and drama nerd Zuko#have a special place in my heart
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thinking about what rubs me so wrong about the writing of furiae really felt like "woman who really only has control over her own mind and fantasies, hardly unable to do anything than what's expected as her both as a goddess and a woman" and how the way the staff viewed the writing of furiae as "woman who can't do anything"
I feel like Tadashi really summed it up good in this passage here
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#furiae Drakengard#hot take i suppose but it makes so much sense looking at woman later in the series that their writing isn't based in anything actually HUMAN#so much as 'subversive of ORDINARY woman' without consideration of where any of that is routed#kainé; A2; Zero; etc. CLAIM to be subversive - 'what other jrpg woman has masculine-like violence and swears a lot'#but they're all surmountably treated as jackoff material at the end of the day; regardless of how 'progressive' their narrative treats them#that women's 'worth' by the series creators is really only seen in how 'subversive' they can be while still being comfortably appealing#and the only one whose main point of terror and tragedy LIES in the terror of being forced into submission; objectified and being unable to#do anything for herself because of that is viewed as 'plain' and 'annoying' and 'boring' makes a lot of sense and it's so.....#the moment it comes to that being treated as a subject of terror and discomfort on the behalf of the people DOING it it becomes an issue#otherwise they just slap a 'oh she's INDEPENDENT and sticks up for herself which is better than a LOT of women but that's all in a way that'#'she looks and acts in a baddy way where *I* can still feel comfortable objectifying and jacking off to her at the end of the day'#anyways many thoughts I'm taking a shower#maybe ill ramble about how they got seere wrong next too lmao
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i wish there was a way to mute "jonathan sims in a skirt" as a concept but alas i apparently remain the only hater here.
#perhaps this is projection but jon leans so much on structure and rigidity and rules and what is right and wrong#even if often misguided#and as a man that often means relying on superficial masculine attributes to establish a normality or comfort in a situation#ie how jon lowers his voice in s1 to establish a sense of authority#i really do not think he as a character even makes sense to be gender non conforming other than there are a lot of gnc people in the fandom#who god bless their soul dont exactly get the deal with jon as a character#“omg hes such a pathetic wet cat of a man” okay. WHY#also i feel that it kinda underplays gender non conformity as something non consequential#when we know the entities can use bigotry against its victims (ie francis)#i also think being “straight passing” and not obviously neurodivergent does lead to an odd outside observer feeling that is present in both#Martin and Jon#tldr i look straight so im gonna make jon look boring too sorry#i could write a lot more on this but in general the way fanon interpretation prevails in podcast art sucks#guys they're millenials in 2015. they would not wear that#oiar is a different conversation they work nights in 2024 they would wear absolutely anything
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#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
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I'm fucking wheezing.
So I stumbled upon another lithuanian interview with Arnas (feels good to have a privilege of being lithuanian myself and understanding it lol) and I'm only ten minutes in. The guy talking with him is a creator of a magazine called "Lamų Slėnis" (Llama Valley) which is like an aesthetic slow living type of magazine. It's not a cheap one, but top quality. He and Arnas met in kind of a bizzare way and so before starting their conversation the guy says that he's a bit anxious (Arnas is like "me too") and proceeds to say why and the last reason?
That guy who's probably in his 40s confesses that "You are the most beautiful lithuanian man I've ever seen, I'm not joking" to which Arnas thanks him looking quite shy 😀
This is hilarious.
#also unusual because older men here are not comfortable in their masculinity here#so if one guy tells another that he thinks he's beautiful that's some real shit#younger generation is a bit different tho they're more chill about it#also this interview seems more relaxed than the one with so called comedian#curious to see what they will be talking about#personal
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#i don't see a lot of people in this itty bitty fandom talking about ships so i'm curious#personally i'm team sean x katie (good and healthy) and team sean x cale (not healthy - worst timeline - we're going down like hannigraham)#and flipflop depending on my mood and whether i want tooth rotting fluff and hurt/comfort or something screwed up but intriguing#i could also get behind sean x derek but they're more meaningful and interesting to me as best buds who have no time for toxic masculinity#sean falco#bad samaritan
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Sorry guys I'm hooked on cis boy khakis and shorts
#They're just so comfortable and spacious#My mom tells me that my shoulders are built rly masculine which is great because that means if I try hard enough I can pass#Super duper easily#I went on a trip to Vancouver and this old man thought I was a guy#Even after I talked to him#My voice is like. Incredibly feminine#Or so I thought#Either he was hard of hearing or I was just a femboy lol#mun rambles
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When people refer to batman/Bruce as motherly I end up in a feedback loop of;
Yeah, we can detach the terms mother and father from being feminine for masculine things, he can be a mother just as a single mother can call herself a father if she likes.
But that's not what anyone means by that. They mean "caring makes him a mother/more feminine because that's what mothers/feminine parents do" and he can't be a "father" unless he's being mean, rude, or neglectful.
Like, these things are both true and so they ping-pong back and forth every time someone calls him motherly..
Literally just a loop of "fathers can be loving but fathers don't have to be men mothers can be leaderly but don't have to be women"
#not tagging bc dc fans like to fight and I'm just writing my thoughts down LMAO#if people really meant it they'd call talia damian's father#we can't get into the talia thing though bc people can't stand that she's mean so she must be a kind gentle lifegiver bc woman >:(#when in fact if you truly un-gendered the ideas of mother and father you could make a complex mother or father of her#but my feelings on calling loving fathers motherly.... gives me the ick BIG TIME#same with calling real men babygirl without knowing if they're comfortable being called such#fictional characters do what you want I'll just turn around and walk away lmfao#they're not real they're just toys#but sometimes real world politics and patriarchy just.. flows into the way people treat characters#much like you can tell when a queer person writes queer characters bc there's NO 'top' or 'bottom' personality type#they just like what they like and do what they do neither of them is necessarily the feminine or masculine role#this became another tagrant RIP#i just mean check yourself and look inward at what you're saying. are you just playing with toys or are you saying#that fathers cannot be loving and gentle and nurturing#the end thank u
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MMM. just saw a video of a 65 year old butch getting a haircut and first of all. Holy shit hello. But second of all - she was so much like me.
I struggle a Lot with whether or not I'm "actually" butch, right? Am I too quiet, too nervous, too soft. If you asked, I'd say it had less to do with being "butch enough" and more to do with butch Fitting me, but if I'm honest, I think it's one in the same here - a fear that I'm not masc enough to call myself that.
But here's someone else, calling themselves butch, being quiet and polite, expressing her frustration at not getting to say what she wants.. like, obviously, it's just the tiniest glimpse of that. But it's something I can look at and feel better about myself with.
#goddyke#ramble#i love and admire butches so much#but am deeply nervous that I'll never be Like That. and i Want to be.#but I'm disabled and anxious and conventional masculinity doesn't Fit in the ways i want it to.#it makes me so happy seeing other people existing in ways they're comfortable with in similar circumstances yknow#we aren't all going to be one waykr another and that's not only okay. but good actually
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if you are a trans boy, especially a teenage trans boy, i wanted to say that as a trans man in their 30's, you have my deepest respects and condolences for what you may be going through right now.
it has become socially acceptable and basically online custom to bully teenage trans boys & mascs, call them cringy, or excuse misgendering them for whatever reason. people put trans boys on this pedestal of "must perform masculinity and manhood to cartoonish degrees" even though they're still children.
people make trans boys fight for their manhood before they can even be boys. i am sorry people can be so judgmental and harsh on you. you are not wrong for wanting to be a boy. you are experiencing something wonderful. it's okay if you still want to be a boy even if people have treated you poorly, or tried to make you feel bad for being a boy. there is nothing wrong with being a boy.
it's okay if you never socially transition. it's okay if you're afraid to come out because it's not safe. it's okay if you never change your outward appearance. it's okay if you try very hard to pass but struggle to. it's okay if you wear "women's" clothing and shoes, bras, makeup, etc., it's okay if you're gay and love other men. it's okay if you're scared of hrt. it's okay if you don't want surgery. it's okay if you mainly occupy girl's spaces still. people will find every reason to pick these things apart and ridicule trans boys for, but they are all perfectly fine experiences that do not make you any less of a boy. you are the one who is in control of your transition, presentation, and state of being- you should be able to prioritize your safety over the comfort of random strangers who have no impact over how you live your life.
i've been put through this too, but later in life as i came out when i was an adult. people still try to make me feel bad for identifying as a trans man, for whatever reason they have in their head to justify hatred of a trans person. i've had enough. there will never be an excuse for how people try to excuse the infantilization and abuse that trans men and trans boys face.
take care of yourselves, no matter what age you are, if you are a trans boy, man, or masc you deserve to know that other trans men care about you, especially when people are scrambling to find ways to punch down on you. there are people who suck, but there are also a lot of people who care about you. keep your chin up. you know who you are
#trans man#ftm#transmasc#trans#transgender#transmasculine#trans men#trans boy#trans guy#non binary#nonbinary#genderqueer#bigender#multigender#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#transsexual#gay ftm#our writing#enby#trans rights#trans community
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Desperately trying to vibe out whether Otto is a nonbinary person who uses he/him, a nonbinary person who isn't out yet, or an egg in the logs. Can you put your pronouns in ur bio bestie
#rat rambles#oni posting#I only properly realized this the other day cause I didnt know otto was nonbinary my first read through#but now I do and its just me head in hands deciding whether I feel comfortable he/himming this guy#rly if it was just that he/him was used for them Id be like ok cool but its that one damn line#when they're like ':they call me 'mister' kraus and its the Worst''#because its at least partially just them feeling anxious abt being the only new hire without a doctorate#and they do sign their emails as mr.kraus so like Im leaning towards they probably just use masculine terms#but at the same time its just impossible for me to not think abt the transgenderism of that line when theyre literally nonbinary#tbf. all of the nonbinary ppls nonbinary-ness is left very not elaborated upon in the labels department#its literally just them being listed as X instead of F or M#so that says nothing abt pronouns or specific language leanings#oh and to be clear other nonbinary character have they/them used for them#which is why I am open to he/him nonbinary otto Im just not sure if thats whats intended#aka Im not fully convinced that this is an out otto yknow?#anyways Im going to bed now gn
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similar thing happened to me on overwatch once, a teammate was flaming me and the only insults he could come up with were slurs so i told him to be original and he said "well, how about this, you, uh, woman" like it was an insult but since it's been so long since i've been misgendered like that i couldn't take it seriously and just ended up laughing so hard i got a warning for inappropriate communication when i logged on the next day. i now use she/her online (not solely) because of this; it doesn't give dysphoria anymore it just makes me giggle a bit
another funny gender moment for me was when i was playing tf2 and someone on my team referred to me with he/him
and it threw me off for a second because i'm just not used to being referred to by anything other than she/her i realized i was otherwise completely fine with it
so i just thought to myself "well at least now i know for sure i'm fine with any pronouns"
that person was also calling me a clueless f2p but i didn't really care because it was true and them and some others on my team ended up helping me learn how to play which was very cool
so anyways, thank you random tf2 players for helping me figure out my pronouns and how to play medic
#it's like a compliment#like women are so pretty i'm FLATTERED you think i'm one#or in cases like this it's esp funny#cause these fragile ass men get so offended when they think they're getting steamrolled by a girl#true masculinity is being comfortable enough in your gender to troll in this way#still trans#still a man#still a binary trans man#funny that i'm more secure in that identity than these actual cissies are lmfaooo#fps games unlocking new pronouns for everyone
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How women influenced by different planets act in one-on-one relationships
Platonic, familial and/or romantic. Based on my own observations and traditional associations💕 planetary influence is present when a native has one or more nakshatras ruled by that planet in their big three(moon, ascendant, sun). If that or any other planet is conjunct sun, moon or ascendant in the chart, then it also adds its influence, but to a much lesser degree. I'd advise to read for your moon, but as always, use discernment and and do not take this information at face value.
Sun women
Krittika, Uttara Phalguni, Uttara Ashadha
The women ruled by the Sun are often seen as confident, self-possesed, bright, expressive and measured.
The Sun is well-known to be a masculine planet, that does not make sun-ruled women any less worthy in their femininity.
Sun women might be surrounded by a lot of male energy in younger years. It could have been positive or negative but all in all, they're familiar and quite comfortable with it. I don't mean they were plagued by admirers, I moreso mean they had a father figure, uncles, brothers/male cousins(usually older), male friends around them. I might be wrong but I've seen this so much in real life and in art. If that's not the case, then they can fit in and hold their own in a group of men. It's true that they're not phased by trying to be more masculine themselves(like jupiter women do sometimes) or to completely lean into traditional femininity(like moon women). They usually get love and support from men that have doubted them at first.
That leaves sun girls with an abundance of masculine energy absorbed in themselves. In one-on-one relationships they enjoy a level of independence but they value loyalty immensely. They build relationships on certain rules that come from their personal values. They look for a partner in crime and an understanding confidante more than anything else.
That's why saturn-ruled people are best for them, along with other sun-ruled individuals. Ruled by the planet of dedication and longevity, Saturn dominants understand their detachment and fixed nature, and provide the cold, hard structure for their self-expression.
Their energy is not for abuse though. They are more vulnerable and sensitive than most realize. As they are women influenced by a very masculine planet, they might feel like they're giving too much sometimes, like they're being taken for granted. As Saturn is the planet that never takes anything for granted and works for its rewards, it is not going to discard Sun's warm and "life-giving" nature. Moreover, it is going to appreciate it, respect it and try to keep up with it as best as it can. Saturn's cool and careful nature is soothing to Sun women, making them feel safe to lean into their individuality with more confidence while prividing the essential balance for a full existence.
Moon women
Rohini, Hasta, Shravana
Moon women have a simplicity about them. Traditionally a feminine planet, moon is considered to be a soft, smooth and nurturing influence.
Moon women are easy to recognize. Moon is probably the most dependant planet. They are passive in their demeanor and easily absorb influence. They often have a group of people around them, if not a group, then at least or not two, just because. That can be explained by moon's receptive but also giving nature, that gives back the smoothed, mixed essence of what it has recieved that is easily digestible. But they don't have that energy within them. They can be very accomodating while not initiating anything at all. If they do initiate, it's something similar to what the other person has initiated.
So moon thrives on dependancy. They might enjoy groups, because that way their passivity and receptivity is not held against them, and they might feel like they contribute more that way. In one-on-one relationships, they are very easy and simple, but might become stressed and on edge. Moon rules masses and the subconcious, so they need an energetically abundant planet that does not mind being drained.
Moon is, in its essence, is vampiric, so they like Sun people. They might be quite comfortable around Jupiter people, and sometimes, with Venus people(the Shravana- Purva Ashadha pairing works particularly well).
Mercury women
Ashlesha, Jyeshta, Revati
Mercury is the planet of integration and manipulation, and women ruled by it are often multi-faceted, containing the potential for adapting and the willingness to to often do so.
Mercury can be described as the "hermaphrodite" sometimes, especially Revati nakshatra. Due to this highly analytical and adaptible nature, mercury women have the ability to morph themselves into different roles, depending on who they are interacting with. Their feminine energy is based on receiving and then skillfully using whatever is given to it. Mercury is the planet that is quite different in all three of its nakshatra stages. Ashlesha, Jyeshta and Revati all have different feminine qualities, due to the three stages that they wrap up being different from each other. Venus nakshatras are different from each other too, but to a lesser degree. What all mercury nakshatras do have in common is sensitivity and skill. They change and adapt to various envirmonments, and their resourcefulness is seemingly limitless.
In one-on-one relationships they need people who can handle that "manipulative" and "nervous" nature. All yoni consorts of mercury nakshatras(Punarvasu, Anuradha, Bharani) have a theme of passivity, they all want and need that "manipulative" energy. Similarly, Mercury women themselves can thrive with people who are energetically stable/abundant but want to move and adapt. Since Mercury women have a need for stimulation and variety, they maintain relationships with people who they don't find boring AND can provide loyalty. There is no single planetary energy that is generally compatible with Mercury people, but Venus and Mercury are traditionally friends, and Venus also heals Mercury. The best example of this is Revati and Bharani(elephant yonis), but other combinations can be compatible too(except Ashlesha and Purva Phalguni, due to them being enemy yonis).
Venus women
Bharani, Purva Phalguni, Purva Ashadha
Venus_ the planet of beauty, sensuality and love is a well-known feminine force that is almost synonymous with the word.
Venus women are, before anything, choosy and exclusive. Their taste is very specific and particular, and whatever is "theirs", is theirs completely. Despite the outward serenity and composure, their internal nature is very fierce and even ruthless. That discriminating nature extends to everything in their life, where they have to be clear about the dividing lines of everything that they deem worthy, and everything else that they don't. There is also an inner drive to attain what they want/need/desire/love.
Their views on one-on-one relationships are unique, and they have very high standards, along with an attentive and giving nature. A lot of those relationships might have left them dissapointed. They seek a balanced give and take in any 1-1 bond. They might even blame themselves for not choosing correctly, since they're already very careful. They mainly want loyalty and support. As always, those relationships have to fulfill their personal desires. Someone considerate, attentive, and skilled is best for them.
There is no single planet type that will fulfill all three Venus nakshatras and most of their natives, but generally, Mercury people have what it takes to impress and keep them. They share a discriminating nature, but while Venus women are energetically abundant, loving and often passive(on 1-1), Mercury is actively "manipulative" and morphing into whatever Venus desires. The best version of this is Bharani and Revati(elephant yonis). Purva Phalguni feels best with Magha(rat yonis) and most likely will not get along with Mercurial Ashlesha(enemy cat yoni). Purva Ashadha is best with Shravana(vanar yonis). All Venusian lunar mansions are best with their uniquely preffered nakshatras. Besides them, they might form friendships with Ketu, Sun, Jupiter or Saturn nakshatras (with the exlusion of Purva Ashadha- Krittika/Pushya, Bharani-P.Bhadrapada and Purva Phalguni-Punarvasu pairs).
Mars women
Mrigashira, Chitra, Dhanishta
Mars_ the warrior planet that grants protection has been a symbol of masculinity since ancient times. That coorelation, although undeniable, does not exactly encompass the whole essence of that force, especially while considering women influenced by it.
Mars rules the energetic output_ how we spend our energy and life force. In many ways, Mars women, being the passive/feminine vessels for that triggering energy, are expressive and engaging. But unlike Mercury, that expression is geared towards the physical body. Unlike Venus, they do not have any inner discriminatory preferences that might make them that choosy. Their expression is very outward and shown on the surface, so while they can be confrontational or agitating with how they behave, they do it for protection, because that it their only mechanism of doing so.
Their heated but inwardly quite gentle nature can make them susceptible to unnecessary drainage. That's why they're another planet type that needs a giving person in 1-1 relationships. With them, that person has to not only give, but have a true consideration of their sensitivity.
Jupiter people are famously best for these women. Jupiter natives can give their excess energy to them and ensure that their vulnerabilities are not abused. The two latter Mars nakshatras both have Jupiter nakshatras as yoni consorts and Mrigashira's yoni consort is Rohini_ a fixed but soft-natured nakshatra.
Jupiter women
Punarvasu, Vishakha, Purva Bhadrapada
Women ruled by the great benefic, the planet of greatness, plenty and godhood can be big personalities. Jupiter has seemingly infinite energy that wants to give without end, and often, they do.
Jupiter women have a very enthusiastic, almost aggressive niceness about them. They might have been surrounded and influenced by male energy since their early life like Sun women, but their true feminine power comes from being open while giving and receiving, especially when around individuals who they think need their "help" the most.
Jupiter women are the one planet type that feel the best in groups, even moreso than lunar women, and unlike them, since Jupiter wants to give to all, they might feel very uncomfortable in 1-1 relationships. That being said, they're not exactly opposed to the idea of it.
They will feel best with heated and draining planets, especially Mars. Mars can take Jupiter's abundant energy and use it to build and protect. They're famously a good pair, but other planet types can be just as compatible with Jupiter. Ketu people also have a desire to take Jupiter's energy but unlike Mars, they won't drain it to use it outwardly, instead, they'll absorb the energy completely and integrate it into their spiritual essence. The exception would be Punarvasu(Cat yoni) and Magha(Rat yoni), because of enmity between yoni animals.
Besides them, Punarvasu nakshatra in particular will get along with Ashleshas, a Mercury nakshatra, due to them being yoni consorts (cat yonis).
Saturn women
Pushya, Anuradha, Uttara Bhadrapada
The cold planet of control and restraint is a passive but tough and unbreakable force. Saturn women find their femininity in stillness and silent, but resilient passivity.
Their strength is tested and it gains more layers through time. This kind of energy might become impossible to intimidate, so many might feel that Saturn women are never phased by life in general. More reactive or moldable people might distance themselves from them, even though on paper Saturn women are easy to like.
They find too much flux and chaos unbearable. Saturn's femininity is all about limiting and crystalizing whatever it receives, so the more stable that energy, the better Saturn women might manage in binding it, even though they can restrain and control any type of energy, no matter how messy.
Saturn ruled women might have dealt with a harsh, limiting, authoritative feminine energy in their younger years. They have learned how to manage themselves in various complicated situations. What they seek in 1-1 relationships is trust and loyalty, not too unlike Sun women. Saturn people are best with Sun people. Sun's warm influence will give their structure a heart and a "purpose". Sun is the planet that seeks out the cold, restraining influence of Saturn that matches its own stability and self-possession.
Since these women are the feminine variation of Saturnian energy, they might be extremely passive and unwilling to start anything themselves, but after they have something to hold onto, they can become actively bossy.
The similarly cold but also adaptable and changeable nature of Mercury might also be an easy and natural match for Saturn women. This pairing might be best in platonic or familial relationships, but the Anuradha-Jyeshta pair(rabbit yonis) is perfect in romantic couples too.
Rahu women
Ardra, Swati, Shatabhisha.
The north node of the moon, the dragon's/serpent's head is a shadow planet and only one half of the opposition that makes up the destiny of a person. The nodes are dependant on each other, and both of them are dependant on the moon. Even this fact gives them a very different kind of quality and essence. So, women ruled by them are a distinctive and very draining group of force.
Rahu women are the personifications of the illusion. For them it is easy to see and identify, to box and to define and label. They are adaptable, responsive, cerebral. There is a certain numb neutrality about them. They are very aware of and immersed in the material world. They can often become bored or overwhelmed by it. It is not unknown that Rahu ruled individuals might be prone to nervousness and anxiety.
Rahu women are easily susceptible to all kinds of influences, just because they absorb and then project everything around them. They can adopt behaviors from other people without noticing, but unlike Moon women(who also do this) they do not give anything back to anyone in particular, they just take it into their illusion and show it to everyone.
That is why they can be quite comfortable within groups. With personal, 1-1 relationships, difficulties can arise. They need a very particular kind of person that can handle their tense and sometimes chaotic nature and can direct their "hyper" essence towards something stable.
Ketu is the other half of Rahu and the only planet that can calm it down. The immovable and hot nature of its opposite shadow planet can help Rahu get out of the head stop its often actively paranoid behavior. Ketu can provide the spiritual substance for Rahu's material manifestations and can match its cold, active and outwardly discharging energy with its own heated, passive and absorbing essence. Obviously, the two pairs of them are yoni consorts, with Ardra(dog yoni) and Shatabhisha(Horse yoni) having Mula and Ashwini as yoni consorts, respectively. Swati can also easily get along with Ketu people, but Ashwini(enemy yoni) might be the exception. For Swati, the best match is its own yoni consort(buffalo yoni)_ Hasta, a very earthy nakshatra.
Besides Ketu, Rahu people can be very drawn to Sun people. Mythologically, Rahu always seeks to eclipse the Sun_ another discharging and active planet, the one that it wants to imitate. If, for example, a Rahu person also has a Ketu influence, due to already having that Rahu-Ketu balance, they might prefer Sun individuals who emanate that warm light from within themselves. In platonic relationships, Rahu people might find kinship with Jupiter individuals with whom they share an adaptible and "airy" nature, but can give their abundant energy to draining and discharing Rahu.
Ketu women
Ashwini, Magha, Mula
The other half of the dragon, the tail/body of the serpent, the absorbing shadow that rules over the past of the person. Also a shadow planet that drains and depletes, Ketu is the "conquerer" that establishes the very essence of a person or a thing. It is where an individual can find their true power, but also where there is a potential for great danger.
Ketu women are a very raw example of femininity. Their basic nature and behavior is the representation of femininity in possibly its simplest light. They absorb everything around them and instead of doing anything at all, they integrate it into their internal selves. Their power is their passivity. Their energy resembles a black hole_ a seemingly endless void that never seems to be satisfied.
They too have a numbness in them, but unlike Rahu, Ketu women might become overwhelmed with their own stagnant and heavy energy, struggling to properly express or define what they are, feel and know. Rahu can become confused from too much information, Ketu can become confused from a lack of it. In the end, they both might feel like they are missing whatever the other is/has. There is also a blindness to both of them, where each sees only their opposite side. But Ketu knows what it knows, and unlike Rahu, it does have stability. The danger with them is stubbornness, the inability to be moved by the outside.
Ultimately, Rahu people are the best match for them. Ketu women can be overly passive* and unresponsive in most 1-1 relationships. They can "hide" and assimilate better in groups but with just one another person they can become extremely disinterested, if the other is not on par with them. Rahu can break its stagnancy and help Ketu women to push their energy outwards.
Besides Rahu individuals, Ketu women might be compatible with Jupiter people, since they have an abundance of excess energy that can give to Ketu's hungry and absorbing nature. Ketu also heals Jupiter. Another dynamic that is possibly compatible for them is with Mars-ruled individuals, due to Mars and Ketu being similar in nature, but this might work best in platonic relationships.
*the passivity of Ketu is not displayed in an obvious way, at least, not all the time. By passivity I meant that it's very hard for them look outside of what they know and have decided. Their behavior might actually look very expressive and reactive, especially Ashwini's and Mula's. Ketu is the conqueror because it simply goes and acts without thinking. It's pure instinct. What it lacks though is the rational mind and awareness. In real life natives, this can manifest as willful or unintentional "ignorance", or simply intense self-focus that does not really allow outside input. With Ashwini, getting their way is a matter of protection, existence and survival, and their "ignorance" is the most unintentional out of all Ketu nakshatras. With Magha, it's about their sense of self-worth and influence. With Mula, it's about their core beliefs and an establishment of the ultimate truth. I think Ashwinis are mostly unintentional, Maghas don't even care to even look at that, and Mulas are aware of their "ignorance" but recognize the necessity of self-focus for their own basic sanity.
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