lieslab

[lieslab]

Where's my love? Pt. 2

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X afab reader

Summary: After reuniting with your boyfriend and making amends, your daughter has a variety of new people to meet.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.5K

~ Part 1 ~

A/N: A lot of you asked for more, so here we are. There's a little angst here, but mostly lots and lots of fluff. Will there be a part three? Probably not. There was never meant to be a part two, but you all begged and flooded the comments of the first part, so hopefully this fulfills all your desires for a second part <3

_ _ _

“You weren’t lying, you really kept your apartment looking the exact same.” 

“Of course, I kept it looking the same. I wanted you to come back home. You lived here for so long, I couldn’t bother changing it.” 

Four years, seven months, and two days; nearly a thousand and seven-hundred days. The sun rose and the moon followed from a steady distance. Always yearning, always hoping, but never following and holding. 

You followed behind Chan, walking into his apartment, with your daughter sleeping soundlessly in your arms. Her head tucked safely in the crook of your arm. He offered to carry her, but you didn’t want to give her up. Still unsure of the situation and how he felt about you, an awkwardness slipped between the two of you. 

Odette refused to let go of Chan back at the grocery store. Even when the two of you headed to the checkout, she clung to him like a koala. Wolf Chan pressed between her arm and Chan’s chest. Utterly smitten with Chan’s presence, he couldn’t even put her down to pay for his groceries. 

When he pulled out his wallet and fumbled for his debit card, you had to reach out and assist. When you parted ways in the parking lot, promising to head back to his place and follow him, she screamed at the top of her lungs when you pulled her away. 

Shiny crocodile tears, a wiggling bottom lip, and outstretched hands. Kicking snow boots and ripping off her hat in the process. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I wanna stay with Daddy!” 

In her car seat, she screamed louder. Odette barely threw tantrums like that. The last tantrum resulted because you wouldn’t allow her to climb into the oven to watch the cupcakes bake. You tried your best to describe the heat and how dangerous the oven was. She insisted she was cold and needed to watch them rise from inside. 

After pulling her away from trying to jerk open the oven’s door, her tears stopped when you turned on the oven light. For minutes, you sat in front of the oven with her on your lap. She asked question-after-question about the cupcakes and you patiently answered all of them. 

In the car, buckled into her car seat, her legs kicked wildly. She shrieked as you shut the door. Tugging at the harness, squirming in her coat, and trying to free herself from the temporary prison you placed her in. Chan stared in disbelief and all you could do was offer a distressed apology. He nodded, hating to get in his car and drive off, worrying about Odette, but he trusted you’d follow him. 

To his relief, you did. Deep down, you’d never live down the regret of leaving. You owed him something and gave him nothing when you left. Not a good-bye. Not a real reason. Nothing, but the phantom of your shadow and the sound of his own beating hollowed heart. 

“Is she okay sleeping on the couch or-” 

“The couch is okay.” You kicked off your shoes and followed him through the entryway. Inside his apartment, all the memories flooded back. The taste of home cooked breakfast and laughter that bounced off the walls late in the evening. 

In the living room, you slowly placed a sleeping Odette down on the suede gray couch. You worked as carefully as you could, slowly unzipping her coat, and gently working her arms out of it. You didn’t want her to overheat in the warmth of Chan’s apartment. 

When you finished, you neatly folded it and placed it beside you. You wiggled off her boots and stood up, catching another glance of Chan in the process. Your eyes met his and before you could place the shoes back with your own, he squeezed you in a tight hug. 

“God, I missed you so much.” His arms wrapped around your back. You still smelled like you. Something sweet and fresh. Maybe it was your shampoo, or perhaps you just naturally smelled that way. Whatever it was, he missed it. 

The sheets lost your scent a few days after you left. It faded away and replaced itself with his. It didn’t mean he didn’t try to find it. You left behind your perfume, leaving him with only the temporary scent of you. Too many times, he sprayed his pillow with it. Burying his head into the fabric, cradling it to his body, praying it’d one day be you. 

“I’m sorry. It’s not enough, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Tears pushed into your own eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, really, I didn’t.” 

“I would have helped you with everything.” 

“I didn’t want you to have to make that choice. I didn’t want to put you in a position. You said you wanted to make music for a long time, so I left. I didn’t want to be the reason you gave up your passion, I couldn’t have.” 

“But I love you.” 

Your head shook and you weakly laughed. “That doesn’t matter, Chan. Once you put your mind to something, you go all in. You would have given up everything to help out with a newborn. We weren’t married. We weren’t anything, besides two people head over heels for each other.” 

You didn’t get a chance to put the shoes away. He grabbed your face, almost a little too desperately. His lips hit yours without a second thought. The fireworks disappeared a long time ago. The butterflies grew extinct, but with one kiss, they reappeared; monarchs flying back home in steady swarms after a cold winter. 

When he pulled away, you didn’t let him get far. Instead, you reached out with your free hand. Grabbing the front of his coat and yanking his lips back to yours. The words didn’t have to be said out loud. 

You still loved him and he still craved you. You might have left, but the intimacy never died. The love had been placed on pause, but it marched onward. Someone hit play on a frozen movie. A glitch took you a few years into the future. You both looked a little older, but the love remained as timeless as ever. 

You dropped Odette’s boots. Too caught up in the moment, you grabbed him with your other hand. Your fingers curled around the back of his neck. Bodies pressed so close, every heart beat from him condensed with your own. 

Personal space didn’t exist. Your lips mended together, as if you just kissed last night. Long and passionate. Your bodies each spoke in ways that your words couldn’t. You’d never be able to describe just how much you missed him. Not fully. 

Laying in a hospital room, giving birth entirely alone. The only visitors you gained were nurses and your doctor. When they placed Odette on your chest, tears welled in your eyes. Instead of love and support, all you felt was a nagging ache. Chan’s phantom stood at the edge of the bed, taking it all in. 

You nearly broke down then. His number was in your phone. All you had to do was unblock it and hit the call button. He’d do anything for you. Drop it all. Come running in, holding your hand, and promising you’d be okay, but you couldn’t. You refused to destroy everything he built. 

He worked so hard, you told him time and time again. You meant every bit of it. When you held him during his rough moments and coaxed the truth from him about his problems, he never felt like a burden to you. You wanted to unravel the tangled knots in his brain. Make him understand the way you saw him. 

Not someone imperfect and riddled with flaws, but someone full of burning passion and exploding with love. Finding strength in every little thing. You wanted to make him as happy as he made you. 

And then you left. 

To say you hurt him, it was an understatement. You didn’t just hurt him, you rocked his world. He never went out and tried to find love again. He didn’t do it and he couldn’t. How could he? The only person he loved so deeply, you left him without a good-bye. 

Ghosted. Gone. Good-bye. You didn’t just hurt his heart, you cut it out and ripped it from his chest. Wandering away, you took his heart with you. You didn’t bother returning it until now. 

When you pulled away, he hugged you tighter, not wanting to let go and risk you leaving again. “Please,” he whispered. “Please, don’t leave me again. Let me help you with all of this. I want to be part of her life, too.” 

“I don’t want you to give up everything, Chan.” 

“Do you still love me?” 

“It’s not fair for you to ask me that.” 

“But do you?” He leaned back, cupping your cheeks, eager for your response. His own tears wet his eyes. 

“Of course, I still love you, you idiot. I never stopped loving you. I left because I loved you. I know I hurt you, but I thought it was the right thing.” 

“Then come back and make it better. I still love you, too.” He chuckled and followed it with a sniffle. Reaching up, to wipe away a few falling tears. “Stay with me and we’ll make it work.” 

“I don’t wanna fuck this up. If I agree, I don’t want to leave. She really deeply loves you.” You glanced over, taking your attention back to your daughter. “If we’re going to do this, you have to mean it. I can’t introduce the two of you properly and have you leave. I can handle that, but she can’t. She’s just a kid, Chan.” 

“How old is she?” 

“She’ll be four in a few months.” 

“Four? It’s been that long? Oh god.” 

“Do you know what her birthday wish is?” 

“What?” 

“She wanted to meet you and her uncles.” 

His face softened instantly. “Really? That’s all she wanted?” 

“Yes. I tried to interest her in something else, but that’s all she demanded. She’s very chatty and incredibly demanding.” 

“She didn’t get that trait from me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure, Chan.” 

He chuckled and glanced back towards your daughter. “I think that birthday present will come sooner rather than later.” 

“You should probably tell the guys you have a daughter before you appear with her.” 

“Or maybe not. What’s the worst that can happen?” 

~ ~ ~ 

The next afternoon, you thought you might throw up. You trusted Chan’s band members, at least, you thought you did. After Chan asked if he could bring the two of you into the JYP building to meet the guys, you agreed. 

Now that you were actually walking through the halls, you were starting to regret your decision. These halls used to feel familiar, but it’d been so long, your heart twisted in turmoil. In front of you, Odette’s little snow boots stomped heavily along the ground. Last night, multiple inches of snow let loose. 

One tiny hand in Chan’s and the other wrapped around Wolf Chan’s arm, she followed Chan through the long hall. “Okay, Wolf Channie, we gotta behave now. We’re gonna meet my uncles.” Her dark eyes went down and back up to the distant hall. 

Chan’s heart melted and he glanced back at you with a dimpled grin. You returned his smile and kept a steady pace behind the pair. Odette never went anywhere without it and to the company building meant no different. 

“Odette, what are you going to say to the guys?” Chan asked. “Hello, Uncles! I’m Odette Berry Bang!” Her little arm shot forward and her plushie fell to the ground. He bounced once and stopped moving. “Uh-ohs.” Her body jerked down to pick him up, causing Chan to stop. 

“Oh no. Did you drop him?” 

“Only once.” 

“Is he okay?” 

She pulled her other arm away from Chan’s hand and wiped the back of her hand over his head. After she finished, her lips pursed out. A loud ‘mwah’ echoed throughout the hall and she tucked him beneath her armpit. Reaching back up for Chan’s hand, she grabbed one of his fingers and tugged. “All better. Let’s go.” 

He feared he’d explode from her charm. The dimples indented into the sides of her tiny rounded cheeks. The way she waddled in her heavy winter boots, rambling so happily. It made his heart soar with excitement and happiness. 

After walking a little further, Chan stopped. “Are you tired? Do you want me to carry you?” 

“No, Daddy. We go, go, go. Come on!” She led him forward, not sure where to go, but assuming it led to wherever her uncles awaited. 

A squeaky laugh fell from his lips and he continued to follow behind her. A few more wooden doors passed until they reached the right one. Your nerves grew, but you had a little faith. The guys couldn’t be too mad, right? Not when a kid would be there with them. 

“Woah, sweetheart, it’s this one.” Chan slowly steered the pair to the direction of the door. “Do you want to knock?” 

She reached up with a flat hand, hitting the door a few times. “Hello, Uncles! It’s me! Open, open!” 

You shoved a hand over your mouth, trying not to laugh. Chan chuckled, reached up, and pushed the door open. In the dance practice room, the guys were all sprawled out. Not sure what awaited them, Chan texted them and asked them to gather in the specific room for a surprise. 

A few glanced up when the door opened. Odette took off, letting go of Chan’s hand, and rushing to the center of the room. “Hello, Uncles! I’m Odettie Berry Bang!” 

Minho blinked a few times, taking in the kid a few feet away from him. His head instantly turned to Chan. “Is this a joke? We’re babysitting some random kid?” 

“No random! I’m Odettie Berry Bang! I’m fiove!” She held up two hands, showing off all ten fingers. 

Seungmin’s eyes squinted her way. “Hmm. You don’t look five. Aren’t you a little too short to be five?” 

She huffed, stomped her foot, and attempted to cross her arms over the Wolf Chan plush. “Bad puppy.” 

“Excuse me?”

Bang Chan burst into another fit of loud laughter, causing Felix to slap a hand over his mouth. Grins appeared around the room. Jeongin spoke up in the distance. “That’s right, bad puppy. Channie hyung, who is this? Seriously?” 

He glanced behind him. You stood outside the door, hidden behind the wall. He raised an eyebrow and you sighed and nodded. He shifted, allowing you to walk into the room. Eyes went wide at your sudden appearance. 

“Holy sh-!” 

“Oh my god!” 

“You’re back!” 

“YOU BRED WITH BANG CHAN? EW! HE’S OLD!” 

“Bad puppy.” Odette called out again. She picked up her plushie and chucked it, letting it bounce off Seungmin’s head. It bounced off and fell onto the floor, causing him to huff, and glare once more. 

Before you could respond, Changbin rushed over and scooped you up. “We missed you! Who is this? Is she really five?” The questions came out in rapid fire, but you couldn’t speak. Not with all the pressure squeezing your lungs. 

“Bin, you’re gonna hurt-” 

“Sorry, sorry. I got really excited. Odettie Berry Bang?” He spun around, dropping to his knees. “Are you really five?” 

She giggled and shook her head. Tendrils of black hair swished in every direction. “No, silly. I prank Uncles! I’m this many.” 

Changbin took his time slowly counting her fingers. “One, two, three. You’re three?” 

“And a half!” 

He beamed. “Wow! That’s so cool!” 

Han shifted and crawled closer on his hands and knees. “You look just like Chan.” 

“He’s Daddy to you.” 

“Okay, well, you look like your Daddy. You’re sassy like him, too.” Han nodded, agreeing with his own words. 

“Yep! You better listen or I-” 

“Shiver me timbers,” Felix whispered. Her eyes widened and her face fell. “Uh-oh. Did I make her upset or-” 

She screeched and rushed over with stubby legs. With barely any time to react, Felix reached out quickly to steady her as she clung to him. “Woah, there. Be careful, or you’ll fall.” 

“You’ve got me!” 

“You’re right, I do.” He reached up and gently patted her back. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Yep, yep, yep.” 

“Hyunjin?” Chan glanced to the other side of the practice room. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.” 

“You look like you saw a ghost,” Minho added. 

He waved them off. “Yeah, I’m just…” He shut his eyes and rubbed his face. “I can’t believe we’re uncles. I mean I figured it’d happen someday, but… wow.” 

“Surprised?” Odette’s tiny face popped up over Felix’s shoulders. “I pranked?” 

“You are very much a surprise.” He slumped to the floor, so she could visit him if she wanted to. “What do three and a half year olds like?” 

“Dinosaurs! Rawr!” Small fingers curled into raptor claws. She leaned forward, trying to lunge over Felix’s shoulder, but he grabbed her a little tighter. 

“Easy there, girl. You’re going to scare the rest of your uncles.” 

“Sorry, Uncles. I go back to Odettie Berry.” 

“Good choice.” 

Felix patted her back and let her go. She wandered through the maze of the guys, observing each of them up close. When she got to Minho, she paused and hesitated. Her feet shuffled in the direction of Chan. 

“Daddy?” 

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

“Is Uncle Minho going to air fry me?” 

“Only if you think Uncle Hyunjin is better than me.” 

Her eyes widened and her head shook. She spun back around to face him, hurried over, and hugged him. You and Chan couldn’t even be mad. The devious joy that lit up Minho’s face, it was hard to hate. 

“That’s rude. Miss Odette, I wouldn’t put you in the air fryer because I’m not a mean uncle.” Hyunjin pouted and sprawled back on the floor. 

In the distance, Jeongin crawled forward. He peeked over Minho’s shoulder with a shy smile. “She’s so cute. She reminds me of my little brother when he was younger.” 

“Uncle had a brother?” She stumbled back from Minho to place her attention on Jeongin. 

“Uncle Jeongin has two brothers.” He leaned forward and held up two fingers.

“Daddy?” 

“Yes, Odette?” 

“When is Mommy going to make me a brother?” 

That sent the guys roaring with laughter. Han and Hyunjin laughed the loudest. Seungmin’s hand found his stomach and he pointed to the two of you. Both of your faces turned bright red. 

“Um, well…” 

“When the time is right, maybe.” You finally uttered. “But we have you and really love you.” 

“Aw, man.” 

“Odette, do you want a little brother?” Seungmin took his attention back to the young girl. “Want to have someone to play with?” 

“I wanna boss him around like Daddy bosses around the uncles.” 

Another wave of laughter fell over the room. Changbin’s hands covered his face, each syllable of laughter came out louder than the previous. Chan playfully rolled his eyes and you shook your head. “Maybe in the future, honey.” 

“Aw, man.” She frowned with a sigh. She plopped on the ground, not thrilled about the news. 

“I don’t think it’s so bad. In the meantime, you have your uncles and we’ll be happy to play with you.” Felix squirmed over, plopping down next to her. “You can boss us around.” 

“Oh, speak for yourself. You can’t boss me around. Hwang Hyunjin doesn’t take orders.” 

“He does if he doesn’t wanna be put in my air fryer.” 

“And suddenly Hwang Hyunjin is vowing to do anything that Miss Odette asks him to do. Go ahead, child. Speak your desires and I shall make them happen.” 

“Be my pet dinosaur!” 

“Oh, hell n-” 

Chan shot him a warning glance and he sighed. “Yes, Miss Odette. Which kind of dinosaur shall I be today?” 

“T-Rex!” 

Hyunjin grumbled and held his elbows to his sides, mimicking a T-Rex’s arms. 

“Uncle Hyunjin, they roar and don’t speak.” 

You placed a hand over your mouth, trying not to interrupt your daughter’s demands. Hyunjin rolled his eyes and weakly let out a roar. Odette rushed over to him and grabbed the side of his sweatpants. “Dino, let’s walk.” 

And so they did. Hyunjin squawked and sauntered around the room. Wanting to join in, the other guys began morphing into their own dinosaurs. Chasing one another, roaring and trying not to laugh, they led Odette on her own dinosaur safari. 

You leaned against Chan, enjoying all of it. He glanced at you with another dimpled smile. “Thank you for coming back.” 

“I should be thanking you for allowing all this.” 

“Promise not to leave again?” 

“At this point, I’m vowing. We should get married or something.” 

His face fell and then reignited into an ear-to-ear grin. “Yes. Absolutely. We should pick out rings and get married. Then you can never leave me ever again and I-” 

“Mommy! Daddy! Come on! You’re ‘posed to be dinos, too. Yeehaw, Rexie!” 

Hyunjin’s shoulders slumped and he weakly made another noise. Somewhere between a faint roar and a defeated squawk. Your potential marriage would have to wait because Odette’s demands came with a hand on her hip. 

If you didn’t oblige, who knew what demands she’d conjure up next. 

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[lieslab]

popping in to say i love ur work so much! always so proud of you and your accomplishments pookie 🥹🥹❤️

Thank you pookie!! 🥹 I'm getting ready to upload another drabble now <3

[lieslab]

I swear your blog has become my unofficial therapy.. Like, who needs coping skills when I have your writing and your replies? 😹 Do you charge rent for the comfort orrr can I keep freeloading? ☠

My blog turned into a lot of mental health advocacy because I couldn't access therapy when I needed it. When you don't have that and you really need it, it sucks. What more can a person do? So I combined the k-pop group I liked with mental health 😭

It's all free. I'm actually slowly learning more and more, so I can provide you all with better coping skills, more information, and ways to find hope in the darkness. Quite literally, I have plans to go to my local library in a few days. I want to check out their mental health section.

I'm currently nearly finished with a college psychology course. I'd say over the past two weeks alone, I've learned so much more than what I already know. I can't wait to share what I learn with you. Trust me, snippets will be in my drabbles somewhere because I'm the type of person that feels like they have to share their knowledge with the world.

I'm such a fucking nerd. I've always loved knowledge and growth. Like look at this!! It's so cool!! Isn't it neat?!? To you all? Probably not. To me? Knowledge means everything to me. If I didn't find writing and knowledge, I don't think I'd be here today.

I'm happy you stumbled upon my page and enjoy it so much <3

[lieslab]

How do you feel about the fandom drama?

I still write quite a bit, but I've taken a huge step away from the fandom. I'm not nearly involved and up to date on everything as I used to be. After everything that's been occurring with the fandom, it just feels shameful and I hate to say that. For my own sanity, I've backed away.

I've always been so open about my love for Skz. You've seen it in my work over and over again. It's hard to admit that their own fans can be their own downfall sometimes. I'm not in the fandom spaces as much anymore.

When I see people belittling certain members because of a stupid reason or demanding much more of them when we know they're in a company that plans things, it sucks the fun out of everything. Of course, it's not every single fan, but it feels like a lot of places in this fandom aren't fun anymore. It's why I try to be so interactive on my page.

I try to make this page a place to uplift the guys and the fans. It's purely a place to have fun. To remind people that these are real people with real thoughts and feelings, just as you have real thoughts and feelings. Through the angst and each fluffy story, no matter what it's about, I always try to write about big feelings.

I process my own feelings here, occasionally. I write things and hope they reach the right people at the right time. I'd rather exist in positive places without the possessiveness and without the need to prove something to someone.

I don't want to see videos of the guys being mobbed at the airport. I don't want to see chanting and screaming outside their hotel rooms while they're trying to sleep and recover from an exhausting concert. We're a fandom. Too many people forget that we're a reflection of the group. How do you think it makes them feel to know their fandom is at each other's throats all the time?

When we're shoving one another, disrupting normal guests in places, just because we're thinking of ourselves and the need to interact with an idol? So focused on the idols, we're forgetting our manners and I think it probably embarrasses the guys.

That one concert where the fans in the pit wouldn't back up? Did you not see the frustration mounting on their faces? The fear and stress in their eyes? As if back in 2022, a crowd surge didn't occur in South Korea and kill and injure multiple people? If something would have happened and it led to disaster for fans, it would destroy them. Do you understand the guilt that they'd carry forever?

Are they ever going to correct our behavior? Probably not. It'll probably be labeled as an overreach and people are going to be dramatic. It's really frustrating. They shouldn't have to lecture us. Some of us are grown. A lot of you need to behave.

As an adult stay, I really try to use this platform to promote good. You can be totally obsessed with a k-pop group and have manners. As adults, the younger fans are looking at us. If we keep going the way we're going and incidents keep popping up, it's going to start causing resentment and they're not going to want to interact with us anymore.

Do you know how many k-pop groups interact with their fans twenty-four-seven? Not all of them. When we're getting so much content, surprise albums, magazine shoots, ambassador insider information, behind the scenes footage, and content while they're still on tour; do you know how hard they're working? Like dogs.

"Oh, but they love their fans and nothing would change that."

And One Direction did, too. One Direction loved their fans, but at some point, it faded. It fizzled out and producing album-after-album and tour-after-tour led to burnout and resentment. They said an eighteen month hiatus and it's been eight years. One member developed an alcohol addiction and died.

If you were in the One Direction fandom, you know that some of the guys don't interact with much of each other anymore. They all went their own separate ways because they grew tired of being placed in a bubble. Harry Styles barely interacts with fans and it's probably because he feels suffocated by them. How many times have we seen Harry Styles fans think a Harry Styles album is coming and it never does? Harry Styles became more of an object than an actual person.

If you want Stray Kids to stick around and enjoy their careers for a long time, we have to be better. You have to bring some reality to your delusions. You cannot be bitter and angry because these men will eventually find parts of themselves in this life. They might find a significant other. They're going to date. They might have kids. Who are we to deny that?

"They can't get married, they're an idol! It's their job to create a delusion!"

They're human before they're an idol. They have a right to live their lives, too. We can't deny people the right to real relationships and intimacy just because you want them. The world doesn't work like that. If you want to have your delusions, have them. Have them in peace. You shouldn't be in a bubble message detailing your future baby's names with Felix because you think you'll marry him.

I'll say it. It's weird. It's an overreach and you're stepping over boundaries for your own personal gain. That man doesn't know you. None of them know you, personally. We probably still don't know everything about them, either.

We can respect idols, the dedication, and hard work. We can make this really fun, too. We can't keep arguing over which nationality of Stays is loved the most. It's stupid and pointless. Can't love be ever-reaching and expanding? Why do you assume borders and oceans filled with millions of gallons of water stop it? They tell us they love us all the time.

"Japan Stays get this and Korean Stays get that and South American Stays get this and none of it is fair."

And it might not be. It's not always going to be fair. There is a company behind Stray Kids that is digging for money. That has always been the point of Stray Kids. Even before they debuted, the company has been looking for money. That's not the member's fault. They're in contracts and they can't sway where their tours are placed and located.

There are entire teams dedicated to the business side of it. Business will always be business. I hate to say this and it's going to piss people off. Some businesses are not meant to make choices to make you happy. They will do whatever they can to make money. The members of Stray Kids have nothing to do with this, but their management team does.

Some of our anger is being pushed onto the wrong people and it's so disappointing. It's not an individual member's fault for every little thing going wrong, you know? We have to stop blaming Chan for things out of his control. We're going to make that man bald by thirty.

We have to do better and be better. Just as we're counting on them for good content and reasons to love them, they're counting on us, too. Every time the fandom fights over petty things, we're letting them down. We're Stays. We're supposed to be united.

Creating content and gushing over our favorite idols. Uplifting each other. Creating national and international supportive communities. Every time we uplift the members of Stray Kids, it makes them feel so happy.

Don't you like to be complimented and praised? Don't you feel good when someone says something uplifting about your art or your passion or your job? Doesn't it make you want to pursue it forever? To strive to do better?

Do you know how happy it makes me when I see people commenting on my stuff? When my inbox floods full of questions and requests and excitement? It makes me feel wanted.

We should be making them feel the same way. Some of us can do better. Let's stop causing fandom drama and have fun. Have you seen the state of the world? We owe it to ourselves to create spaces that make us happy. Let love win, for fucks sake.

And it's so usually not like me on here to go off in a tangent, but if I'm tired of certain parts of the fandom, I can only imagine how they must be feeling. They're already working their asses off. Don't try to make them fix parts of this fandom when it's not their job.

Stop feeding into the negativity. You're allowed to feel certain ways. You can feel like things are shitty and unfair, but you don't have to let that unfairness ruin your life and your entire mood. We do so much better as a fandom when we're united.

Look at how happy they look when they see fan projects at their concerts. When they stand on that stage and see all the light sticks and hear thousands of voices united as one. Isn't it amazing to help make someone's dreams come true? That little voice in your head that says if they can overcome something horrible, you can do it, too?

Let's be better. Let's strive for happiness. Long lives. A life full of happy memories and little moments that make the harsh moments worth it. There is so much beauty here and we're wasting it on stupid fan wars and petty drama. We can point out bad behavior and acknowledge disappointments. Let negativity steer you in a new direction and raise your sail higher.

We can create so much here. Just be a little nicer. Breathe. Remind yourself that these are people. You're a person, too. Life hurts, but there's a lot of little blessings, too.

Let's enjoy it while it lasts. Together. Uplifting one another instead of tearing one another apart and ripping up self-esteems and losing our dignity in the process. That's what the guys have always wanted this to be about.

Let's make magic and have more fun <3

[lieslab]

can i request a fic that takes place after the Brazil incident with skz? and chan is down on himself, like upset, and 9th member!reader notices? And she kinda like ignores it, like ok everyone gets down! but onetime she walks in on him in the practice room almost all lights off, like a lamp on, with his hoodie on and he’s leaning against the mirror eyes closed with tear streaks? and she stands there and sees tears falling. maybe she has to comfort him but he doesn’t want to open up since he’s supposed to be the tough leader, so he yells at her before breaking down into sobs of some sort. idk it was js a thought in my head, but if you do write it as female reader, it’s solely platonic please! and like she’s treated as one of the other boys (not like the pick me way) i just feel that chan holds it all in and needs a good long hug😞

Unfortunately, I'm not going to write this one. Mainly because, it's not exactly the same as what you want, but it's pretty similar. Check out You know I can't fight the feeling. It's not a 9th member AU, but it takes a look at high fan expectations and the impact it pushes onto Chan.

Plus, Look after you and My baby here on earth showed me what my heart was worth both contain all the guys, but Chan is the first one listed. They're both reverse comfort/hurt where the reader comforts the guys in different situations. I believe it's look after you where Chan gets a little frustrated and briefly snappy because of all the overwhelming emotions.

I don't want to write the same request twice, otherwise I'd write it. I'm glad we're both in the same head space about Chan. He needs a vacation and a shot of vodka or something. I think the correct idea is a trip back to Australia, his father's lamb, and a good face licking from Berry. They all could use a vacation after this tour and god, I hope they all get it 😭

Anyway, happy reading!! <3

[lieslab]

have you ever read from @4linos? she’s such a good author, you guys are like the angst queens!!

I have not, so I'll have to go snoop and check her out. I haven't been reading a lot of fanfics lately. It's an honor to be considered one of the angst queens. I'll do what I can to keep that name 🫡

[lieslab]

Hey love, just wanted to drop by and say how much I appreciate the warmth you bring to this little corner of the internet. Your writing, your replies—it’s all so comforting. You’ve got a softness that feels really safe to ramble to, and honestly? That’s kinda rare. Keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re making more people smile than you probably realize. Sending love and virtual sunshine your way!

Thank you 🥹 This is my fun house; my circus and my monkeys. I love it here and I hope you like it, too. I think the internet could really benefit from a lot more spaces like this. It's a great big world out there. I have my whole life ahead of me, so I might as well mix in some fun while I'm here <3

[lieslab]

YESS MY REQUEST ILYY

Omg. Thank you for requesting it!! I love you too <3

[lieslab]

When there's monsters on your ceiling, I'll keep you safe

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 x gn reader

Summary: Your first live stream without the guys and management turns into a disaster.

Genre: 9th member AU

Word Count: 2.6k

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide, dieting culture, skipping meals, and bullying.

Depression and eating disorder resources

A/N: I'm really on a roll with requests. Remember to be nice to idols (unless they're twats) Requestee, you really hit the mark with this one

_ _ _

“You think so?” You laughed at one of the comments someone sent through the Instagram live stream you hosted. “I was thinking the same exact thing, it’d be hilarious.”

You were used to doing live streams when needed. Every so often, your schedule announced you were up to bat. Today, management was lenient with you. Your first official solo stream took place in one of the empty JYP meeting rooms. 

You slipped the company phone in the camera holder before pressing the button to start the live. Today, you didn’t have a specific plan. You had beads, a roll of leather lace, and a dream. Once you started, you couldn’t stop. 

For the past half hour, you’d been making friendship bracelets for the guys. With the help of fans, you were determining what colors to make each person’s bracelet. Not only did it feel like a chance to relax, but you enjoyed speaking to the fans one-on-one without your manager silently trying to get you to avoid a topic in the background. 

“So what do you think of Minho’s bracelet?” You held it up to the camera and placed your palm behind it. Pushing it closer to the camera, you held it steady so fans could see. “What do we think?” 

You pulled back after a few seconds, reading a few live stream comments off your phone. You clicked on your own stream and muted the phone to read responses. A smile appeared as you responded to a few comments. 

“Okay, so now I have to make Han’s, obviously. What do we think?” You glanced back up at the camera. “I was thinking about maybe orange, or red? What about both? It reminds me of his song, Volcano.” 

You went back to the comments. “You should make it red and green for Volcano and Alien.” You pulled back and laughed. “I mean, it’s a good idea, but those two colors together remind me of Christmas. I can do red and orange!” 

Seeing that most comments agreed, you reached out for the string to start to measure how much you needed. You were about to cut it when the comment came through. The moment you read it, your heart fell to your chest. 

‘Hey, here’s an idea. How about you leave all the guys alone and leave the group? You’re the weakest member and ruin everything.’ 

You knew you should have sat there and ignored it, but you couldn’t. Anger swelled up and you blinked rapidly, trying to force it down. “Leave the group, huh? Maybe I should. It’s people like you that make idols give up on all their dreams and kill themselves due to all the pressure.” 

You shouldn’t have said the words, but they came out like a free-flowing spout. What does it mean to be an idol? Really. What does it mean? 

It means giving up bodily autonomy to a company. Skipping meals is expected when the scale’s numbers start to go up. When an interview catches you at an unflattering angle, expect a lecture and a new diet spreadsheet. 

Going through dances over and over and over again. Sweating until you’re breathless and assume you’re going to topple over at any moment. Shaking knees and unsteady steps as you try to push yourself up to find the strength to do it all over again. 

Spend hours learning formations and completing sound checks, trying not to give in and read the hate online. When you’re an idol, everything is placed beneath a microscope. Your flaws, your short-comings, your inability to act the right way, or say the correct thing. It’s all televised for the masses to see. 

And god, are they hungry. The razor-sharp teeth of fan-folk on twitter. The faceless comments and nameless profiles that equip themselves with emojis. They beg for new content, but it’s never enough. Treat their favorites with respect, but if they can get away with bashing another group to bring their favorites up, they’ll do it. 

The dark side of the k-pop industry has always been there. They never try to hide it. The collapsing at concerts. The hidden injuries. Companies bowing down to fan requests, even when the idol’s livelihood is at stake and they’ll do it, too. Because in the heart of the idol world, money is the only god being worshipped and there is no bigger god than greed. 

Comments shot your way, trying to understand what happened. Not everyone caught the comment you did, but they heard the words. They caught your empty-eyed gaze into the screen. A brief glimpse into the actual reality. Maybe you really weren’t okay. 

Maybe you were tired of putting on the mask and playing pretend. Some say to get over it. It’s what you signed up for. You deserve it. Get over it. Toughen up and ignore the haters. Not everyone has a shield of armor protecting them. Not everyone is equipped to handle the hate trains and the protest trucks. The black oceans, the scorns and scoffs, the hashtags praying on your downfall. The flop era. 

Maybe you were tired and said the wrong thing or maybe you were tired of living it all. A pretty and perfect illusion that crumbled before the eyes of the fans. Everyone knew it, but nobody had the guts to say it. 

The companies surely didn’t. Trying to stay neutral, they’d ignore it all. Ignore the fans surrounding the hotels and screaming the names of the favorites at the top of their lungs, wrecking the idols’ sleep schedules, and souring the taste of regular guest’s hotel stays. 

Ignore the purple bags and exhaustion sticking to idols that follow them like ghosts. Give them chicken and rice diets. Drink more water. Cut more calories. Restrict more. Look at yourself and be ashamed.

Ignore the hate trucks. Blame the idols and don’t hold the fans accountable. Sacrifice them to the wolves and know that your company’s reputation will bounce back, but not always the ongoing mental struggle of the idol. 

How many times did you cry because you missed your family? The sibling you couldn’t watch grow up. The stretching crow’s feet in the corner of your mother’s eyes. The deepening wrinkles on your father’s face. A kitchen chair sat waiting for you in your childhood home, longing for your warmth, but you rarely showed up anymore. 

The industry breaks you and reshapes you. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. You’re dragged through the mud all the time. Dreams are supposed to be hard, but why are some of them so self-destructive? How do you really go about becoming a k-pop idol the right way?

You still remember the shock as you combed your hair one time and found your hair falling out in an alarming amount of strands. Too much stress. Not enough food. Not enough sleep. 

Sometimes your members, they weren’t just your members, but souls tortured just the same as yours. You saw it in the way Chan rambled on bubble, so desperately trying to fix internal fan wars that were never his fault. Always blaming himself, trying to do better. The weight of a fandom was never supposed to fall onto the weight of one man. 

You saw it when Felix drank water and began to heavily restrict before an upcoming photoshoot because he wanted to look perfect. You were forced to confront it after his stomach growled a third time. Hunger lingered in his eyes when he looked your way while you ate your dinner. 

Devastation seeped out of a few members at certain events. They never seemed to get the recognition they deserved. It wasn’t their fault. It was never their fault. It’d never be their fault. 

You blinked rapidly as the tears began to fall. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go.” Fan comments rolled in, but you reached forward and hit the end live-stream button. 

Tomorrow, a lecture waited for you with management, but for now, you just wanted to mourn. 

~ ~ ~ 

“Oh…” Felix’s voice trailed off. He sat staring at the blank screen with a frown. Your live was going great until you shut down towards the end. You said nothing, but you also said everything all at once after that last comment. 

Beside him, Han, Minho, and Hyunjin sat just as stunned. They were enjoying your live stream, looking forward to the bracelets they’d be getting afterwards. As one of the younger members of the group, you were cherished a lot. 

“We need to go find them,” Minho pushed himself from the dance practice floor. “Does anyone know which conference room they’re in?” 

Heads shook and Han pushed himself up to follow him. “Let’s go look. Can someone grab the rest of the guys? I think they went out for lunch, but they should be back at any moment. I think we’re really needed right now.” 

“I’ve got it. If you find them first, call me and let me know.” Hyunjin reached the door first and disappeared. 

Felix rushed after Han and Minho. “This is really bad. I didn’t know they felt this way. Should we be worried?” 

“I think we all feel this way sometimes, but we’ve never said it out loud,” Minho mumbled. 

“Hey, I found them!” 

Across the way, the remaining four members looked just as worried. A unit of eight, Changbin led the charge towards the end of the hall. Hyunjin picked up the end and placed a hand on a staggering Jeongin’s shoulder. 

“We should have noticed this sooner,” he uttered softly. 

“How were we supposed to know, Innie? They always keep to themselves. They’re very good at trying to ignore the things bothering them.” 

“I feel like an awful person for not noticing.” 

“It’s okay, we’re going to fix it together.” 

~ ~ ~ 

In the conference room, your head sat in your hands. The colorful beads and leather string sitting around didn’t bring you the joy that it once had. Instead, you silently cried into your hands. 

All you wanted was one nice live without a troll. Instead, you gave them exactly what they wanted. They wanted your tears and your anger. It fueled them for whatever reason.

You didn’t look up when the door burst open. You tensed up, waiting for a member of management to yell at you, but it never came. Instead, multiple footsteps headed your way. A gentle hand fell upon your shoulder and Changbin softly called your name. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” you mumbled. 

“Well, that’s just too damn bad,” Seungmin said. His arms crossed over his chest. “I left my biscottis behind and we all gathered here.” 

Minho shot him a glare, but it didn’t bother him. Chan gave him a follow-up warning look and sighed. “Listen, we just wanna make sure you’re alright. The way you ended that live, it was-” 

“Horrible? Unprofessional and irresponsible?” 

“I was going to say bold, but incredibly true. You spoke about the things some idols stay far away from.” 

“I’m tired!” You pulled your hands away from your face. Tears lined your bloodshot eyes. “It’s always something and I’m trying my fucking best! I’m trying to be a good person and a perfect idol and it’s not happening! I can’t do it! I-I-” You sucked in a shaky breath and a whimper fell out. 

You tried so hard to keep it together, but when Felix appeared and squirmed closer to wrap his arms around you, you cracked. Your head buried into his chest as sobs fell from you. 

How much of your life had you given up being judged in the name of your dreams? There would always be people who hated your guts for one reason or another. You’d always have people that disliked you, but in the k-pop world? People would do anything to bring down the idols they hated. 

Spreading rumors, sending hate trucks, and stirring the pot. Taunting, teasing, and straight up bullying. Stalking, harassment, and belittling. It was always something. 

You couldn’t breathe without doing it wrong. Every time you touch a member for too long, you’re being childish and clingy. When you don't say much during a video, you’re dubbed a stuck-up snob. Too close to the opposite gender of another group? You’re probably dating them.

There is never and will never be any winning in the industry until people change. Companies have to stop dragging their feet. It only stops when the industry calls out bullshit as they see fit. Taking the steps for legal action. Knowing an idol is a privilege, not a right. 

Han wiggled his way to the other side of you, squeezing between Changbin and Felix, letting a hand fall to your head. Another hand and then another. As you cried, they all grieved. Tears sprouted from all of them because they all knew. When one of them hurts, they all hurt, and your reasoning? It all sat within them during their down time.

The industry had been built off of breaking people and trying to build them back better. People are not that durable. When you break someone’s soul, there is no going back. Idols learn to hate their imperfections. Change them. Shape them. 

Slave away in the mirror to develop a perfect routine, so no pores are visible. Some trade away their real personalities, not because they want to, but because companies want to market them a certain way. 

Everything is pre-planned to the extreme. Compete against your favorite friends in the charts because they belong to different companies. Slaughter the competition. Sell more albums. Do the embarrassing requests on fan calls. Have no boundaries because the company said so and unless you want to be blacklisted, do it, or fall victim to the endless abyss of wannabe idols that didn’t make the cut.  

“Ah, this is embarrassing,” Jeongin mumbled after a while. “I’m not supposed to be crying in front of everyone. All these hyungs and I’m- 

“Suck it up,” you mumbled, trying to pull back from Felix’s shirt. “Now you know how I feel.” 

“You have pretty cute tears,” Changbin observed. 

“Hey! Don’t cheat on me! You can’t call them pret-” 

“Shut up, wifey.”

Seungmin’s face scrunched in disgust and Han rolled his eyes. Chan glanced down at you and gently squeezed your shoulder. “Are you feeling a little better?” 

You nodded, reached up, and wiped your eyes. “Thank you for letting me cry. I’m sorry that I-” 

Minho’s hand went over your mouth. “Do not ever apologize for struggling with real emotions.” 

Your nose wrinkled and you pulled away. “Ew. How am I supposed to know where your hand has been? That’s so-” 

“Probably around Jisu-” 

“AH!” Jeongin’s hands went over his face and he shook his head. “Stop! Stop! I don’t want to hear it! Enough!” 

“You’re so cute, Innie. Come here! I wanna pinch your cheeks.” Hyunjin walked around you and hurried to Jeongin. Felix cheered for him as Jeongin began to hurry around the other side of the table. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

“I wanna touch my wife!” Changbin hurried after Hyunjin. 

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Felix grinned and rushed afterwards. “Changbinnie, I wanna touch your muscles!” 

“That’s my cat.” 

“Hey, wait!” Han rushed after Minho. 

“That’s my first-born.” 

“Yeah and I wanna kick the elder’s ass,” Seungmin grumbled, following Chan. He spun around to glance at you. “Are you coming? Don’t you want to throat punch me like usual or something?” 

“How’d you know?” 

“You say it’s always a good day to throat punch me.”

“Sometimes it is.” 

“It’s every day.” 

“Well, stop being a pain in my ass and it won't happen anymore.” 

“You cunt.” 

“Jackass.” 

He huffed and hurried after Chan. You grabbed your phone and hurried up to follow him. In the k-pop world, it was riddled with a lot of issues, but when moments like this naturally happened… 

It was hard to stay upset for long, knowing that the industry brought the eight of these idiots right into your heart; you had a feeling they’d stay there for a long, long time. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lia-linny @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman @inlovewithstraykids @velvetmoonlght @chrizrizz @ari-hwanggg

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

Ko-fi

[lieslab]

hehe im so excited for the ninth member fic you’re like my favorite author

Thank you 🥹 I'm making a banner for it right now, but it'll be up once I finish formatting it 🫶

[lieslab]

hello again, 🥐 anon here! i was just wondering how to make a masterlist? my current plan for my blog is to post the really short stories / narratives i have in my notes and docs. i've had them nearly forever, and i feel like i should put them out somewhere. it feels sort of comforting to know that you've left an imprint on the world that will outlast you even after you're gone, y'know?

anyway that was kinda off-topic but tysm if you respond to this

-🥐 anon

Ah, you're onto the fun stuff. The internet truly is an archive. It's kinda nice to leave pieces of ourselves behind. I know when I've lost people, their social media becomes memorialized and it's nice to revisit it when times are tough. That sounds like a great idea. It's fun for you to look back on different posts, too.

For the masterlist, you start by making a regular post. You can title it, add a banner if you want. Add in fancy text, or keep it simple, it's entirely up to you. When I made mine, I made the title, created a banner, and started creating the links to drabbles by typing out the name of a post I wanted to link.

If you highlight any text, a little bar pops up. With this bar, you can change the size of your text. You can indent, create bullet points, etc. Once you size it/change it to what you want, there's a few smaller bubbles with different options.

The S with a line through it is strike through and it puts a line through your writing ~ like this. The big B is ~ bold. The i is ~ italicized. The little buttons < s > is when you want to make your font super small ~ in case you want to make a side note or something similar.

The next button is the one you'll utilize probably the most. The two chains interlinked are for when you want to link a post. I'll use my masterlist for example. Let's say I created a new masterlist and I'll pick a random drabble of mine.

If I want you to be able to access my 'No wisdom, just teeth' post. I'd go to that post. There's three dots on the top right of every post you make. There's an option to copy the link. Click that button. I'll come back to my masterlist and I'll type out the name of my drabbles like so: No wisdom, just teeth.

You're going to highlight the title and click that little button with the two interlocked chains. A new bubble pops up and you should be able to press and paste the link there. Click the done button and it'll save. Once that's finished, it should underline the title of your post.

Like this: No wisdom, just teeth

If you click it again, you should have the option to edit, remove the link, or open the link. I always open the link to make sure it takes you to the right post. Once you're sure you have it linked correctly, you're all set with linking it.

If you highlight that text again, the final bubble next to the interlinked chains button is an option to change the color of the highlighted text. You can leave it as it is, or change the colors ~ your colors are limited, but still fun.

That's pretty much all there is to it. If you want to create another linked post, hit the enter button, find your next post, and keep following the process. I believe the limit to links on a single post is a hundred. When you reach that limit, you'll have to start a new masterlist. You can also link and create about me posts and insert them into your masterlist, too.

If you want your masterlist to be the first thing people see when they come to your blog, go to your masterlist after you post it, click those top right three dots in the corner of the post, and there should be an option right above copy link that allows you to pin the post.

If you pin a post, it'll be accessible at the top of your blog when you click to check out your blog. If you want to add a new post to your masterlist, scroll to the bottom of it. In the right hand corner, there's a trash can to delete the post. The other option is a pencil. Click the pencil and it should reopen your masterlist, so you can edit it.

If you want to unpin your post, click those three top dots on the right and click the unpin button. You can only pin one post which can be a little intimidating, but you can make that post about anything you want. Mine is an intro about me and lists a ton of posts, but what you make yours about is up to you.

I know that's a lot of words and some people are better learning visually than just reading words on a screen. There's a plethora of YouTube videos that go into further detail and some of those videos also cover the aesthetic/creative vibes you mentioned in the last post that you were looking for

Hopefully, it makes sense. I know when I first started making a blog, I had no idea how to make a masterlist. I just had to figure it out on my own and I completely winged it. If you have any other questions, just let me know. Happy creating!!

[lieslab]

You asked, I created. Lab rats, is this slightly blurry on your end? My Tumblr has been glitching recently and driving me a little insane. If it is, try clicking on it and zooming to get a better view. I might have to recreate this in another format, but for now, I think via zooming, you know what's going on and when ☝🏻🥲 If it's blurry, please let me know and I'll try to make a non-blurry one for next week <3

[lieslab]

heyy! if the role isn't taken, can i be 🥐 anon?

i just wanted to ask you for recommendations on designing a blog. yours looks really good and i'm kinda stuck on how to make mine look pretty - any tips would be really welcome

also can i request a really angsty fic where the reader is struggling from childhood trauma from domestic violence that involves touch-related issues (specifically the shoulder and torso areas) that everyone writes off as sensitivity but one of the members figure out something's wrong? the reader kinda struggles with telling other people about it bc her parents are really toxic and have made her feel bad about telling other people before, so she tries to avoid talking about them at nearly all costs. any member is fine, but can they already be in a relationship with the reader?

tysm sry for the long-ish ask

i love your work btw keep writing!!

That's a new one, but you can totally be the croissant anon!! That one has been unclaimed until now. AH!! I'm so excited for you. Making a blog, no matter what it's about, is so fun and it's a great way to be creative. I can't wait to reveal the calendar I made because I tried to theme it around my blog.

Anyway, the world is really at your fingertips. For my blog I picked a lab theme because it was easily expandable and you can create a lot in a lab. I'm not good at science (actually, I hate most science related subjects) but the idea of creating my own little lab sounded unique and fun. Calling the people who read my stuff lab rats, it really felt on brand and I've just kinda expanded it since then.

Just recently, I believe it was another Stay, they made their fanfic page set up like a diner and their masterlist is the menu. It's SO fun. Whatever your blog is about, it should be a representative of you or at least, what you like/enjoy. It can really be anything.

I based mine off a science lab, but is there a specific place you like? Science labs have always been fascinating to me. I've always liked the idea of being an evil scientist and this is my take on that. Making my silly little angst makes me feel evil. You can always base it off a place or an idea. When I was first thinking of my blog, since it's about a k-pop group, I was imagining a k-pop concept.

When I first started, I picked out my favorite color and ran with it. Everything else just kinda happened. I believe I used Canva and Pinterest to make my main header. If you can't think of anything off the top of your head, pinterest is also a good place to find ideas for layouts/designs.

Start with your colors and a username. Your username doesn't have to be aesthetic, just make it whatever you prefer. Then you can dive into a profile photo and the header behind your photo. There's some websites out there that have fancy fonts/things you can copy and paste. When I first started, I used this site to add the fancy heart symbols to my drabbles. There's so many and it's a good way to add fun.

It can be something fancy or something totally niche. You can also reblog certain posts to help fuel your aesthetic. There doesn't even have to be an aesthetic if you don't want it to be. Whatever you decide, it should be what makes you happy and not other people. You can make it super aesthetic, or as chaotic as you wish, that's the fun part about Tumblr.

Whatever you post about, if you use hashtags, it'll reach more people. Don't forget interacting with people and supporting others in whatever you post about, it not only helps you grow your audience, but it's really nice to build a mini community in the endless void that being online creates. If you're still stuck, come wiggle over to @live-laugh-lie-7. Bring your croissant self and we'll brainstorm something together. You can stay anonymous, unless you're cool with hopping off and jumping into my dms.

As for the drabble request, I absolutely can. That hits close to home and people aren't alone in those struggles. Childhood trauma is so tricky and ugh. I wish it didn't happen to people. You said make it really angsty, so I'll do my best to conjure something up.

Good luck with your blog making (try not to stress too much, focus on the fun) and I'll put this request up when I can get to it!!

[lieslab]

A nest of our own

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Felix X gn reader

Summary: After seeing baby chicks, you're convinced Felix and you can become poultry parents.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

_ _ _

“Sweetheart, you know we can’t get them, right?” 

You waved off Felix’s words as you stared down at the large plastic bin. After hearing a friend talk about the grain store having poultry for sale, you jumped at the chance to appear with Felix. Wood shavings sat on the bottom and a heat lamp radiated warmth. Faint chirps, quacks, and cheeps filled the air. 

“I know, but look at them. Aren’t they just the cutest thing? Look at them!” Your lips pushed into a smile. “The baby chicks are so cute and fluffy, just like you!” 

On the defense, he side-eyed and he scowled at you. “I’m not fluffy. Cute? Obviously. Fluffy?” 

“Your hair is kinda fluffy.” 

“Fluffy? More stiff and on the verge of falling out. One more bleaching session and I-” 

“Look!” You tugged on his hand and pointed out one of the fluffy yellow chicks. Curious beady black eyes, small peeps, and a neck craned back to look at the two giants before him. “Isn’t he adorable? He’s looking right at us.” 

“How do you know he’s a he?” 

“Because I just do.” 

His arm wrapped around your waist. His chin went to your shoulder and he sighed. “Yeah, he is pretty cute. I wish we could pick them up, but the sign says we’re not allowed to touch them.” 

“Do you like the baby ducks or chicks more?” 

He hummed softly and glanced between the few bins. About a foot away from the first large plastic tub, a second sat up with a similar set-up. The same brand of heat lamp and wood shavings. A plastic container holding enough water to let them drink from it, but not enough for the animals to drown. Another held starter food to nurture their bodies. 

“They’re both pretty cute. I like the little webbed feet the ducks have. I bet they’re going to grow up and be great swimmers.” 

“I don’t know about the ducks, but I think these are egg-laying chickens. They’ll grow up and after a while, they’ll be able to lay eggs. I like the egg-laying chickens. I’d rather have these than have the chickens that are meant to be butchered.” 

“There’s a difference between chickens?” 

You shifted, so you could look at him. “You didn’t know that?” 

“Chicken is chicken,” he shrugged. “I get eggs and meat from the grocery store. I’ve never really questioned if there was a difference between the two. I probably should have known, but it’s never been that deep for me. I eat to nurture myself and try not to think about the chickens. If I think about it too much, I’ll cry.” 

You reached up and gently patted his cheek. “You’re cute. Almost as cute as these babies.” 

“I’m losing to baby chicks and ducks? You don’t even know their names.” 

“I know they’re cute.” 

He gestured to the second bin. “Is that duck eating his…” His face scrunched and he trailed off. “Ew.” 

Your own grimace followed. “Yeah, I forgot they eat their own excrement sometimes.” 

“Ew!” 

“They’re just babies!” You defended them. “There’s not much for them to do, so how are they supposed to know?” 

“That’s so gross!” 

“You ate an entire banana with the peel on!” 

“It wasn’t my own bowel movement!” 

“Might as well have been.” 

As the curious baby chick watched your bickering, it’s head tipped to the side. Not understanding your words, but understanding enough to know that something between the two of you was wrong. That’s why it spun around and hurried back beneath the heat lamp. Pillowing itself between brothers and sisters, it hunkered down, eager to warm itself back up. 

~ ~ ~ 

A week later, you sat with your hands on your hips on the living room couch. “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, but it’s done. There’s no going back. The two of us are going to be parents to baby-” 

Across the way, you were cut off with a loud sharp peep. You shoved yourself from the couch and hurried over to the plastic tub. Down below, eight baby chicks fought over a spot for warmth beneath the heat lamp. The way you adjusted it, there wasn’t enough room for all eight. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Hold on, let me fix this.” You reached over and adjusted the lamp, leaning it back to cover more square area. 

One ball of fluff leaned over with a beak and pecked another sibling in the head. You gasped, reached down, and gently cupped them to bring them to your chest. Frantic peeps instantly filled the air. The fear of falling filled the bird, just as an infant would fear. 

“Hey, that’s not nice. I know you’re upset, but I’m working on it.” You frowned, hoping the chicken would understand. “Just because you’re impatient and angry, it doesn’t mean that you can fight your sibling. Please, calm down.” 

As you continued to lecture the small bird, the front door swung open. Felix kicked off his shoes, dropped his bag, and glanced up. A smile filled his face and then it fell. The puffy yellow ball in your hands poked out between the slips of your fingers. 

“Baby?” 

You jerked to the side with wide eyes. About the same time, the baby chick in your hands chirped loudly. You shushed the bird softly, reached down, and gently placed it in the front pocket of your overalls. “Let me talk to your father first.” 

“What are you…” He padded closer, worrying about the plastic tub behind you. “Did you purchase-” 

“Okay, listen. I know you said no, but I’ve wanted this for a long time. I’ve spent the past three days researching and making sure I know how to properly take care of them. I think I’ve become an expert on chicken enrichment and nurturing.” 

About that time, the peep in your pocket pecked at the faded denim. Felix glanced down, but he couldn’t find the energy to be mad at you. Not when something so small and delicate sat in your pocket. He moved closer, grabbed your front chest pocket, and peeked over the edge. 

“Honey, why did you put him in there?” 

“Because he needed a time out for pecking his brother. Back to my point, I know what I’m doing. Come on, Felix, you can’t say no to them.” You reached down and pulled up the baby chick. “Just like I said the other day, they’re so cute. There’s eight of them, just like you and your members!” 

“Does that make this one Seungmin Junior?” He reached out, slowly brushing a finger over the top of the baby’s head. “Didn’t you say these were egg-laying chickens? Wouldn’t that make these chickens hens? Girl chickens?” 

“It turns out they have roosters and hens. I just got a boxful and called it a day. If we do it right, we can fertilize the eggs and then we can be grandparents.” 

“Oh, dear.” 

 “You don’t want to be grandparents with me?” You frowned, meeting his eyes. 

“No, I think it’s a nice idea in theory, but baby, we don’t have a coop. We have a backyard, but there’s no fence for them to roam. Don’t we have to worry about predators, too?” 

“You worry too much. I have it all planned out. Just wait until you see what I ordered off a website. It’s all the pieces to a coop, but it comes with instructions, and I can put it together. I was thinking when they start laying eggs, we can get a cute basket to collect them in.” 

“You’re really not giving me a choice here, are you?” 

“Nope.” 

He reached out and slowly cupped the chick from your hand. “He is a pretty cute guy. What are we seriously going to name them? How are we doing to tell the difference between them all? They look the same.” 

“I’m still figuring it out, but in the meantime, we’re fresh parents to a batch of kids.” 

He stepped forward, peeking in on the rest of the flock. He went from chick-to-chick, taking notice of how many huddled beneath the red radiance of the heat lamp. “You said there’s eight?” 

“Yes! They said you had to buy eight at once, so I got all eight. I can’t wait until they grow up!” You grinned, rocking back and forth on your feet. “I think they’ll make great family members. Plus, we’ll have fresh eggs.” 

“Or a nice Sunday dinner.” 

Your head whipped back. “You’re going to eat our kids?” 

He shrugged and reached back down to pet the chicken back in his hands. “I’m just saying it’s a possibility.” 

“You’re a horrible father.” 

The bird leaned forward, pecking the skin of Felix’s hand. “Ow!” He hissed, leaned down, and let the chick rush beneath the heat lamp. “You little-” 

“That’s what you get for not being very nice to our kid.” 

“I’ll turn him into a nugget.” 

“Behave or I’ll report you to Changbin for child abuse and let him straighten you out.” 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah? What’s he going to do?” 

“Headlock of doom.” 

“Sounds more like a reward than a punishment.” 

“While I bleach your hair again.” 

He gasped, spinning back around to face you. “You wouldn’t!” 

“Be nice to our kids.” 

“Fine.” 

You leaned forward, cupping his face in the process. “I know you didn’t think we could, but I’ve got it all under control.” 

“I’m a little worried, but I trust you. They’ll make a good addition to our dynamic duo. Maybe I’ll get Hyunjin to help me make little signs to decorate their coop.” 

“Like?” 

“Cluck around and find out.” He grinned, eyes lighting up in the process. “You can never go wrong with chicken puns.” 

You leaned closer, planting a quick kiss to a freckled-stamped cheek. “I’ll allow it since we’re working on this together. Since you’re home, let’s go.” You slipped a hand through his. “I got a bunch of baby-name books from the library, so we have to pick out names.” 

He laughed, unable to stop the utter admiration from pouring out of his body. “You’re cute. I love you so much, my little chicken tender.” 

You slowly turned your head, casting judgement upon him. He grinned again, showing off two rows of pearly white teeth. “What? Too early for another chicken pun?” 

“That’s it, you’re spending the night in the coop.” 

Taglist: @lia-linny @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman @inlovewithstraykids @velvetmoonlght @chrizrizz

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[lieslab]

Hey Lie! Love your fics so much, I was wondering if I could please request a Chan x Fem!Reader fic where you surprise him on tour (with the help of another member) and its all happy but a slight angst is when he can't reach you (while you were in flight) then once you show up he becomes all clingy 🥰

AH!! Thank you 🥹 Oh, this is so fun. I usually make my stuff gender neutral, so I'll probably make this one the same way. I try to make my content available and easily consumable to everyone, so everyone can have fun imagining themselves being involved. The only time I dive away from that is when I absolutely have to like during pregnancy.

This is super cute. I'm going to make it so cute. It'll take me a bit to get to it, but AH. He's definitely going to get cuteness aggression after feeling bad. I love when cuteness aggression happens. It makes me feel all soft and sticky on the inside. I'll add it to my requests, but I cannot wait to make it

[lieslab]

I asked and you voted. Tomorrow evening, a fluffy Felix fic will be posted. On Monday, you'll have a weekly calendar for upcoming drabbles, so you'll know what's coming and when. It'll be posted weekly on Mondays. Thank you for voting and letting me continue my creative behind the scenes fun!! Checking it out will be entirely optional, you can ignore it if you wish.

If you have any other fun options/ideas, bring them in my inbox. This page is meant to be fun and silly. A break from fandom wars and the negativity occurring in the fandom. I'm tired of this fandom bashing one another and creating internal wars that are unnecessary.

We're supposed to be supporting the idol group, not causing issues for the members of the group. You'll always be able to come here and access my stuff if you need a break from all the stress. Read a drabble, make a friend, have fun. Fandoms are not meant to be battlefields.

Thank you for making Stray Kids stay and thank you for continuing to help run my little lab <3

[lieslab]

hi, i hope you are well

i was wondering if you could do comfort fic? hyunjin maybe but i am okay with any member

My friend has been having a hard time and then she ended up attempting yesterday. as far as i’m aware she’s okay but she’s in a mental hospital. i have no way to reach her and my heart feels so heavy and im so anxious. i feel so guilty because she had posted on a close friends story that she couldn’t be alone, i was semi busy so i couldn’t meet up with her easily but something told me i should’ve at least checked on her and gone to her but i didnt. so now im thinking maybe if id done something this wouldn’t have happened. maybe a fic where hyunjin comforts reader through this. thank you for all your fics tho, they always seem to comfort me :(

Hello!! I'm doing so well. Of course, I can make a fic with Hyunjin, specifically. I have a list of requests, but I'm trying to get through them as quickly as I can. Oh no. That's a horrible thing to deal with. I know some mental hospitals are big on keeping phones away from patients because they want them to focus on therapy and trying to assist them. I'm sure they're doing whatever they can to keep her safe.

I know my words are just words and they can't do a ton, but I really mean it when I say it's not your fault. Sometimes, when people are in such dark spaces, their brain convinces them they're nothing. That is not your fault. Words aren't always enough for people to break through their personal beliefs that they're worthless. They really believe it, deep down. There's so much work that has to go into unraveling that dark-knotted mindset.

I know you feel horrible about it and you'll likely feel that way for a while. It's so easy to blame ourselves when things go wrong. Hopefully, your friend finds some clarity there and it helps start the internal healing process. Mental health can be challenging, but with the help of professionals, it makes it easier.

If you haven't tried it already, maybe you can reach out to her parents or whoever she lives with? If she's a minor, they most likely know what's going on because they're legally in charge. If you're adults, maybe try actually calling the specific mental hospital if you can? I'd explain the situation and admit you're worried about your friend.

They likely can't give you the specifics for confidentiality reasons, but maybe there's a time where you can call them or visit them. Phone calls can be frightening if they make you anxious, but if you know there's a way to reach them, it can help ease some of that anxiousness.

Thank you for reading my fics. I hope they can continue to comfort you when life gets bumpy. I hope you can speak to someone to get some clarity on the situation. If you need to, don't be afraid to speak to someone in your life about the situation either. It sounds like you need a good distraction because this is eating you alive. I'll say it again, this is not your fault.

Talk to a friend. Talk to a parent. Don't be afraid to admit your feelings to the people you love. You're going through something terrifying and it's okay to lean on your loved ones in times like this. They're loved ones for a reason.

I hope you feel better soon and your friend can get the support she needs. I'm rooting for both of you and I hope it goes well <3