#they're catholic and i'm gonna ACT like it

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

ok some more name thoughts:

Carmen Anthony- Carmen can come from two origins-- one of which related to Mount Carmel/Our Lady of Mount Carmel (one of my fave Marian titles! it's her feast day soon :D ) -- she is the Patroness of the Carmelite order and is associated with souls in Purgatory; if they wanted to spell it Carmine for the Italian it would mean red i think, but they didn't spell it that way ; Anthony is the patron saint of lost things (including people!!)

Natalie Rose- Natalie is name reference to the Nativity of Christ-- a birth that changes Everything (the Incarnation) and is also very related to maternity; Rose is a flower obviously, a beautiful flower though it has thorns; but (and here's my EXTREME REACH) it's one I always associate with St Therese de Lisieux, who came from a large loving family

Michael- I don't think his middle name has been said-- Michael means "who is unto like God?" -- St Michael is one of the archangels, the prince of angels-- and very notably a protector/defender

[absolutedestinyapocalypsse]

i love how as you read more into tlt, the ninth house seems more and more normal. Like if i'm at an immoral evil government competition, and i use human fat as soap and animate skeletons to do menial labor, i'm gonna LOSE if my competition is the third house, represented by ianthe "who HASN'T eaten human flesh and fucked a corpse" tridentarius. My weird skeleton thing seems normal, suddenly. Well-adjusted, even. It's recycling. They're using resources in a sustainable way. Normal and regular and productive for a post-climate change apocalypse universe.

People go on and on about how Muir drops you into gtn hearing from the person who knows the least about whats happening, and does not hand hold the reader through the crazy shit that occurs, and that's all true. It truly is a crazy writing decision to make your first pov character come from the universe's equivalent of amish fundamentalists. But the reader is actually done a huge favor being dropped into the ninth house first, because we already understand that space is cold and what catholic nuns are, and what goths look like, and what lesbians are. Very little time is wasted in the first chunk of gtn ripping hair out of your head wondering what the fuck is going on, because for all of its strangeness, the ninth house is already the most familiar thing we're gonna get.

Because THEN we learn that this whole universe's medieval chivalry system is designed to groom people from CHILDREN to not only be exploited and used as human batteries for necromancers, but to LIKE it. to wax poetic about it. to confuse it for love, to write fucking academic papers about it! Then we learn about planet flipping, an act so horrific and violent it turns the planet's soul into a massive vengeful monster capable of killing GOD. Like what do you MEAN the animals "change"? Is this why noodle has six legs? I would MUCH prefer to wear skeleton makeup and repent forever if the alternative was to witness my family dog grow TWO EXTRA LIMBS because the planet he lived on fucking died. Suddenly, living in the asscrack of a planet where no light gets in seems like a sweet deal when the whole solar system is lit by a sun that MAKES YOU GO CRAZY. The ninth house's WORST sin, killing 200 babies to make Harrow, a waste of resources and an act so terrible it haunts Harrow for the entire span of her life, is like a BLIP compared to the death count Jod's empire. God even hears about it and he's like, no big deal! The cohort probably kills that amount of people in a DAY.

And its ALSO tragic because you realize that all of this trauma and abuse that Gideon goes through is not really because of the ninth house at all. It's really just an individual skill issue that she wasn't treated with compassion. Nobody hated her because she's jesus or a bomb, nobody even KNOWS she's a bomb. It's just Priamhark and Pelleamena being deeply guilty and scared people that motivates her treatment, and absolutely nothing else.

They did something bad, and they know it, and Gideon survived it, and they can't kill her to cover it up, and that's IT. They killed themselves for pride, because they were afraid of the consequences of their actions (both the baby killing and Harrow opening the tomb) coming back to bite them. You can argue this is the catholicism of it all, and I wouldn't say you're wrong, but compared to the cavalier system, where exploitation is in the very lining of the house's institutions, the ninth house is really removed from the space empire's blood factory. This is compared to the fourth house where they have tons of children to be CANNON FODDER to join the cohort at fucking 14, compared to the eight house uncle nephew fuckery, even the fifth house which actually does seems nice to live on but also seems to have the fourth house in some sort of fucked up political bear hug??? (maybe the fourth house has so many kids in order to fight the fifth's battles? which is EXACTLY what jod's whole empire is about; politely stirring your tea and acting nice while you destroy everything) compared to ALL OF THAT, the cruelty that Gideon faces is really more a bug of the ninth's system than a feature.

There's nothing baked into the culture and everyday life of the ninth house that necessitated that cruelty; in fact, for such a pragmatic and resource-scarce place, it's WEIRD that a strong able-bodied young person was treated like a waste of space and resources. It could just have easily not happened, if Harrow's parents had been different people. Maybe they were products of their environment, but so was Harrow, and she values Gideon's life SO MUCH that she'd literally rather carve out parts of her own brain than exploit her. Gideon grows up knowing really NOTHING about cavaliers, so remote from the horrors of the empire that she develops an idea of what the cohort is from porn magazines. And in a lot of ways, that upbringing was desolate and terrible, and in a lot of other ways it literally DID NOT HAVE TO BE.

Gideon's MAIN THING is that she wants to be useful, to be needed, to be loved and it SUCKS that she couldn't even get it in the one place where she was actually an invaluable resource, where the death empire had the weakest reach. Gideon can't even blame her lack of love on the fucked up chivalry system like everyone else can because it JUST WASNT REALLY RELEVENT!?!?! This is like if i rolled up to the trauma competition and everyone else was raised in a nuclear warzone by wolves or something and i grew up in like, the suburbs and was raised by teachers and i somehow STILL WON. truly what the fuck guys.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Stop misappropriating the abuse and trauma cults use through purity culture for your stupid fucking shipping discourse? Holy fuck no wonder everyone hates this whole discourse.

Since when is "priests getting shuffled around after raping kids and kids being told they're sinful because they had bodily reactions to being SAd" comparable to "Bobo the clown said my ship was cringe"

I'm not gonna answer this with The Aristocrats, as a I threatened, because I want to make a very serious point to this anon:

Purity culture isn't just religious abuse. It is most widely connected to religious abuse. Including actions in the Catholic Church and all fundamentalist Christianity. It's entire existence is about terrifying and indoctrinating people into being fearful of their own actions and bodies so that they feel certain that moving out from the "umbrella of safety" (to use a fundamentalist term) will result in them being harmed in ways they can't imagine. This is generally happening at the same time as they are being harmed by those who are supposed to be keeping them safe from all those terrible, worldly evils. Like speaking up when you're being abused. Believing you are not responsible for the actions of a rapist, and many, many other things that any person with an ounce of self-worth and good sense (two things not allowed in fundamentalist circles) knows are true in abuse situations.

But the point of the purity culture as identity in the above-mentioned circles is to teach people from birth that they aren't to have their own feelings, ideas, or instincts. They are only to follow the feelings, ideas, and instincts on the approved list in order to stay within the structures they know and feel safe in even as they feel very unsafe.

That being said:

Purity culture can also exist WITHOUT a religious structure while still being about controlling the thoughts, feelings, and actions of everyone within it. In terms of fandom, purity culture is groups of people stating that if you write something uncomfortable or gross or immoral, then YOU must be uncomfortable or gross or immoral and therefore, not worthy of the safety and moral superiority of the group.

Purity culture without religion teaches black and white thinking, encourages thought policing, and shames anyone who steps outside of a very narrow definition of good and bad by turning an entire group of people against them for being "bad".

Just like in religious circles.

Just like in the cult of fundamentalism.

Purity culture is a term taken by fundamentalists and turned into a whole way of life because the goal of fundamentalism is to make people too scared to leave. Purity culture in fandom does the same thing. It uses fear and threats of abandonment/harassment to control the way people act because a group of people decided they didn't like something, so they must try and wipe it out rather than simply ignore it.

I am not mis-using the term because "Bobo the clown said my ship was cringe." My use of the term is intentional and precise because what is happening in fandom spaces now is non-religious purity culture cult thinking. My use of the term does not invalidate or water down the use of it in conversations about religious abuse and trauma. With or without religion, purity culture is a dangerous cult of "us vs them" that is built to demoralize and eradicate those deemed unworthy.

[suusoh]

mwehehehehehhhhhheheheh... ok .... so my submission would be...

“Oh, to be eaten alive by you?” Johan chuckles quite loudly. a genuine, sardonically genuine chuckle. “What a pleasant way to die.”

(This one was surprisingly softer than I expected lol. Hope you enjoy riribells! Thank you for sending the dialogue prompt!!)

(tw: cannibalism mention ofc lol, slight yandere? catholic joke at the end, other than that, nothing else surprisingly)

Of course.

Of course, those are the exact things that he would say tonight. Though you really should have known better, than to watch some show with him where cannibalism is the central point of the plot. This one's on you honestly.

"Can—" you take a deep breathe before you continue, "can we please just have one, one, peaceful movie night?"

Johan's sitting beside you on your sofa as both of you stay in for your weekly night in, he's seated one space away from you, a small pillow acting as a barrier between you two. He always maintains that polite way of sitting when he comes over, like how one would sit when being a first time guest in a different home.

The only thing being that this is not in fact, his first time spending time with you here at your place. Numerous hang outs already happening within your humble abode, so maybe it's just your friend's general knack for good posture and deportment.

"Is there something wrong with what I've told you?"

He replies with a slight tilt to his head. You can't tell if it's from feigned or genuine confusion.

Your mouth just silently hangs open in a little 'o' shape. Thinking for a few seconds how you should even respond to that.

"Oh I don't know; the part where we're talking about cannibalism, the part where it's me specifically eating you, or the part where you find it a 'pleasant way to die' as you put it so nicely"

A small smile tugs on his lips.

He always smiles at you when seeing you react. Not in a way that's condescending (sometimes), but out of almost... genuine enjoyment. It didn't matter which approach you took.

Sarcastic or honest, nervous or nonchalant, bantering or silence. it was all the same to him: a front row view to you.

"I'm simply in topic. Are you telling me it's not normal, for people to discuss their thoughts and what they would do in the character's situation, while watching a show or movie?"

He's got you there you gotta admit. But still.

"Are we not even going to dissect your confession?"

"By all means." He nods.

His slight intrigue and the subtle excitement in his posture doesn't go unnoticed by you. You'll brush it off for now, another instance added to your growing personal collection of brushing off Johan's behaviour whenever he's acting kinda odd.

"...Actually, nevermind. I don't know where to begin with this. I'm just gonna not... talk... or think about it anymore."

You huff and lean back on the sofa again. His comment is out of pocket, sure, but you'll just let it go for now. Not really something worth making a big deal over. It's just another case of Johan being, well, Johan. And as he said, it's just harmless talk about what they're watching right now.

He watches you slump. He wants keep up this conversation, but he'll let you have your peace for now.

"Oh, alright then. Should I resume the show? We were— "

"— oh waaaaait wait wait wait a moment... did you say alive?"

You shoot up again. Eyes wide and brows furrowing. You know you look so cartoonishly shocked at him. You don't care. You are shocked. Why hide it?

"Hm, alive, yes. That's what I told you. Do you find this an issue?"

"You are alive in this theoretical cannibalism scenario with me. You are watching it unfold. You are breathing, you are conscious, you are awake, you are whatever else word similar with all those!"

Johan doesn't even move from his position. Still sitting and looking at you all politely. He is amused though.

"Should I not watch it all unfold? I'm sure it would be a pleasant sight..." his eyes look down and to the side as he revisits on some past thoughts. You see what almost looks like affection reflecting inside of it and you don't know how to feel about that. His eyes then return to you, holding his soft gaze with yours.

"I wouldn't mind. I'll even guide you through it."

"you'll... guide... me... through-"

you give up. You're done.

Exasperated groan leaving you as slump and deflate into the sofa . Mind too tired to fully talk about this right now. You grab the pillows near you and stack it around your head to aid in muffling out whatever word Johan says next.

You swear at this point, anything he says just gets progressively worse and worse. Baffling you more than cluing you in.

You enjoy the peace and darkness of your little soundproof world. There's bit of shifting on the sofa, then one by one, the pillows slowly move their way out of your face. He removes the last one, revealing you to the sight of Johan looking over you curiously.

"You know..." he puts the last pillow gently under the base of your head, "... all I'm saying is, just like the characters in the show, if there were truly no presence of food at all, absolutely nothing, and you were starving to the point of dying..."

He lightly pats your head.

"I think it would be a waste to not use my flesh for sustenance. There's nothing bad about it in the situation. Did you know that the people in the Andes mountain plane crash made a pact to their friends, that in the event one of them dies, they want their body to be consumed, in order for the others to keep on living?"

He smiles softly at that and something fills your chest with a slight warmth upon hearing his intentions. His explanation on the matter does make it seem a bit more pragmatic in a survival situation, not to mention it oddly has a sense of camaraderie to it.

"Well that's... very thoughtful of you then." You quirk a brow at him. Playful laugh almost bubbling out of your lips.

"Mhm. The reason I say 'alive'... well, I doubt you'd be able to do it without me instructing you. You'd be a blubbering crying mess while making all the wrong cuts, and I'd have bled out for nothing." He flicks your forehead.

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?" he follows up by soothingly rubbing the spot where he flicked you.

"If just the mere thought of eating someone who willingly gives up their flesh for you to consume gets you this worried already... I wonder how you'll even be able to fare when you have to do the real thing."

You roll your eyes at him and swat his hand away.

"You're expecting me to act like that's the easiest thing on earth: eating the blood and body of a person you hold dear to you. I can't be normal about that, Johan!"

Johan can feel his finger twitch slightly. He stills himself impassive. How you effortlessly called him a person "dear" to you. Said with so little thought, and yet so undeniably genuine.

He thinks the notion odd, and nearly baseless. He's even sure at one point in his life he'd think you naive for that. But then again, he doesn't blame you. He does present himself as a friend to you... in fact, it's all he's ever been doing with you so far. Surprisingly. Also he did quite literally confess to letting you consume his flesh for your own benefit.

Not that he won't be getting his own benefits in that scenario.

With each bite you'll take, he gets to see parts of himself sustaining you, filling you, going inside of you and eventually being absorbed.

You'll swallow him, and he'd be so deeply ingrained by you at that point that you can't deny that he would be the blood running in your veins, he would be the branches in your lungs making you breathe, the ghost of him living within you, squeezing and squeezing your heart each second to pump it, as he lets you live another day.

He is inside of you;

mentally and physically.

Of course, the sight of you in tears and covered in his blood is just another adorably lovely cherry on top, but he won't tell you that. Saving all those intimate details for himself, preferably when he's alone.

...eating the blood and body of a person you hold dear. I can't be normal about that, Johan!

He chuckles softly. Patting your head again.

"Well, you obviously haven't seen Catholics. If they can do it, so can you."

[animentality]

the funny thing about the Black Butler revival is that Sebaciel is taking a lot of heat right now, here in the year of our lord and savior 2024, in which all ships are problematic and toxic.

because it's a pedo ship.

which is the most perfect low hanging fruit in all of anti existence.

but like, Sebaciel is really a microcosm of pro vs anti ship discourse in general, right?

everyone insists oh you like Sebaciel? you must be a pedophile... while totally ignoring that a lot of fucking teenage girls read Black Butler and imagine themselves AS CIEL. they have a crush on SEBASTIAN.

that's why they ship them. they're not generally lusting for the minor, they're imagining themselves as the minor, being MINORS themselves, and have crushes on the suave sexy demon guy... because that's literally budding adolescence in a nut shell.

Sure there are people who lust for ciel... but it's a fucking shonen. it's for teens.

Teens are allowed to have fucking crushes on Ciel and Naruto and Ichigo. They're also allowed to have crushes on adults, WHO ARE NOT REAL and can't return their affections or hurt them in literally any way other than fictional related trauma.

is it really that shocking that teens are projecting themselves on/lusting for the fucking kid protagonists? you know, like they're generally going to do??? because they're hormonal but also bc it's very normal for humans to have goddamn crushes on human shaped (and less human shaped) things???

and is it really that shocking that teens girls would lust after Sebastian?

are you telling them they can't do that, and then also ship their little self insert goth child with the object of their affection?

and also.

ALSO.

the harder thing for these people to swallow...

fucking adults can ship anything they want too.

literally who gives a fuck

just shipping a problematic age difference ship doesn't make you anything at all.

being an asshole in fandom spaces does, like harassing people for shipping or not shipping Sebaciel, sending death threats, doxing, whatever, but just the act of jerking it to Sebaciel fanfics, or writing them for yourself and friends, is not a goddamn crime.

nor is it anything other than a Catholic sin.

so I'm laughing at the modern discourse, as angry adults and teens try to cancel Sebaciel.

tale as old as time. but also Sebaciel is the fucking OG.

The og of queerbait shotacon nonsense.

you weren't gonna stop people in 2008, you won't stop them now.

just hang out in your own space and leave other people alone.

also just fyi. I don't ship this.

I ship toxic old man yaoi.

but I'm rolling my eyes and slapping you if I see you in the wild insisting a Sebaciel artist is a pedophile guilty of a real crime in real life.

get some fucking perspective.

[mongeese]

I'm not involving myself in the arguments again, but ep 1 Carol snaps that she "always knew Darryl would do something like this one day" and had a larger reaction to the car crashing than (her phrasing) "losing the kid".

So that's why the initial impression of Carol is that she is mean, and Matt's later dad facts + Darryl referencing Carol calling him fat and Darryl hiding his hobbies from her give a certain impression to people.

I do not care about discourse that happened probably years ago because it simply doesn't matter but I AM a defender of fictional women so I'm gonna reply to this. Know that any bitchiness in this post is not directed toward you specifically anon but rather it is directed toward general misogynistic fandom culture (which is rampant).

First point, Carol snapping at Darryl: obviously that's an imperfect reaction, but she's also just had the bombshell dropped on her that her husband crashed their car and lost their son. I think I can forgive her some anger in this moment. There's also probably built up resentment toward Darryl being expressed in this conversation, because she's falling out of love with him and he is the exact opposite of emotionally intelligent and I'm sure communication has been deteriorating between them for a while. Not ideal, but I can't particularly fault her for it. Also, literally in the same conversation, Darryl asks Carol to ask Darnell about the plays he emailed him, while his son is missing, which suggests that he is not always the most responsible! Perhaps giving some credence to her statement!

Reading the transcript, she didn't have a larger reaction to denting the hood of the car. Darryl said it last and she processed it first, but immediately after she began berating him much more intensely about losing their son. Which, again, is cruel but also understandable, given that in her mind there's no explanation for how he could've lost track of Grant other than gross negligence.

Gonna be honest and say I remember nothing about the context of Carol calling Darryl fat. I'd assume it was either a bit of a mean joke that Darryl took very personally bc his self esteem is in the gutter, or her saying he should lose weight. Neither is good, and I won't defend them, but also, compared to all the other shit characters do in the podcast? So tame.

Darryl hides everything from everyone. That's like, the core of his character. It's entirely possible that any hobbies he hides from Carol is simply because he's ashamed of them for catholic guilt/toxic masculinity/general weird repression paranoia reasons, and not because of anything she said or did.

Ultimately this is a pointless exercise because even if all those things WERE as bad as people make them out to be, I'd still be a Carol defender, because all 4 of the dads canonically do things which are way worse. Glen in particular is undeniably a shitty person (at least until 2/3 through the podcast, where I'm at right now), and Ron isn't much better. Yet they're both fan favorites. Why are they given the grace to make mistakes and be mean and thoughtless and flawed and still be liked, but Carol is hated? Could it, mayhaps, have something to do with the fact that they are men? And thus their shitty behavior is fine, because they're oh-so deep, but clearly CAROL doesn't have that depth, because she's just a woman, and she should be more understanding, and motherly, and caring, etc etc.

Like. I'm just fucking begging people in fandom spaces to have an ounce of self awareness and think about why, maybe, you're so ready to hate the female characters who don't act nice all the time, but you love the flawed tragic backstory men? What dominant power structure and social conditioning could be at work here? You are not immune to internalized misogyny (yes, even if you're a woman)

[tokoyamisstuff]

gn! Reader | general NSFW warning | not proofread

Poor guy has to keep up with enhanced humans and literal monsters😭

But I think he's fairly skilled, especially with his hands...👀 plus he's a master at massage even without an ulterior motive hehe.

It's hard to define how religious he truly is. While he does believe in god, he sees the Vatican as means to his goal more than anything. But he tends to bend the faith's rule to his will, due to his childhood trauma doing anything outside of wedlock is a no-go for him. Expect to be dragged in front of the altar before even thinking to get naughty, and even then he's adamant to always use protection.

I think if youre one oft the few if not the only person he truly cares about he's gonna be very clingy. Not upfront, not in a romantic way that would make him seem vulnerable, but he'd definetly tryna find excuses to keep you at his side.

Sex is his way of telling you things he's unable to put into words. That's also the reason he's very touchy and ready to sleep with you at any time. Years of loneliness made him needy and starved for affection, preferable the physical kind, since this kind of intimacy comes easier to him.

Let's be fr this guy is pathetic, I just know he cries afterwards. Hey, at least now you know how to get him to open up.

Is into cockwarming for similar reasons. It makes him feel as close as possible to you to be buried inside as if you were made just for him. Does it even without being in the mood, the sensation is just somewhat comforting, reminding him you're there.

Is pretty selfish during the act, but lucky for you he's great at fore- and afterplay, so you definetly get your fill either way.

Has a severe degradation kink, wanting to show authority to make up for his inferiority complex. He'd never do anything off your limits, but damn he does indulge in humiliating you. Damn he can get rough, sending vile insults your way while forcing his cock down your throat like you're some kind of toy.

Into cum-play as well. No matter where, chest, mouth, belly, gushing out your hole...he loves to see you ruined with his seed. Tends to stuff it back into your mouth/entrance. If you swallow it while looking him in the eye, he'll instantly be ready for round two.

Does a 180 after he's finished though. Will shower you in apologies and compliments while kissing any inch of skin he can reach.

Sadly he's a busy man and his work always comes first, but he'll find ways to make up for it. Is surprisingly good at sexting and keeps a lot of indecent photos of you hidden on his phone. Snaps them whenever you look especially enticing during the act, and is eager to record videos too if you approve.

Phone-sex with this man is surely pleasant, to hear him whisper orders and other profanities in his smooth voice. Gosh.

Likes to have keepsakes from you while away longer, for example one of your panties. Keeps it in his pocket and lets his fingers run through it whenever he thinks of you. No need to tell you what he does with it when he misses you to much, dirty guy.

Definetly able to multitask. Get used to him being mentally absent while still fucking you stupid easily. Takes you from behind and suddenly puts a piece of paper on your back to write down a note for his sermon or something lmao.

Does buy you new outfits or toys to try out regulary.

Is pretty upfront about this forbidden affair in general. Corruption at the catholic church runs deep, and he is a very influental man. So he can basically do whatever he wants and no one dares punishing or even calling him out.

Also loves the thrill of public sex, especially when you suck him off during meetings. I'm pretty sure half of the attendees know you're there but they're too scared/shocked/embarassed to say something. I seriously think at some point he'd just grab you by the hair and continues to fuck you on the table while continuing the meeting as if it was nothing. After all, he likes showing off what he owns...they shouldn't stare at you too much, though, if they want to keep living.

[randomthefox]

Some follow-up thoughts:

"SEGA approved of soandso and suchandsuch being in the IDW comic, therefore it is canon and you're not allowed to complain about it!..... OH NO, SEGA IS GOING TO NEED TO APPROVE OF EVERY SINGLE ANSWER IAN FLYNN GIVES IN THE BUMBLEKAST FROM NOW ON, THIS IS BAD AND MEANS SEGA IS GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING!"

I don't even care what conspiracy theories they're crafting about how somehow we're in some way responsible for this, because I'd be happy to take the credit for it. It'd be like people accusing me of being the reason that Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration is going to be cancelled. Like aww gee, lil' ol' me did that? =^) Ain't I just a rambunctious little scamp ^-^

Seriously that one dude who was like "THIS IS YOUR FAULT >=o " cracks me up. Like A: this is nobodies fault but Ian Flynn's. This is what happens when you bite the hand that feeds. I'm willing to bet that the initial ultimatum was that he needed to CANCEL the Bumblekast and stop doing it, and they only agreed to the compromise of vetting the questions when he argued that the podcast was a source of revenue for him and shutting it down would cut his income. He's lucky that they're allowing it to continue to exist in any form instead of pursuing litigation against him, which is absolutely what Nintendo would be doing.

and B: IF I was in ANY shape or form even partially responsible for this happening, why the fuck would I be ashamed about that? This is GOOD NEWS. I am CELEBRATING it. If I was the cause of it, then I'd be hanging up a Mission Accomplished banner lol.

It really speaks to their complete and total lack of empathy, their INABILITY to even attempt to see things from other peoples perspective because they are totally brainwashed cultists, that they think that I would take this announcement about the Bumblekast as bad news. Because THEY view it as bad news, so they think everyone else must as well. They're literally trying to hit us with the "are you happy now?" WELL YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM VERY HAPPY lol what the fuck did you think I was gonna say? The answer is they thought I was gonna say "oh no, our free ticket insight into the behind the scenes of the series and all access pass to everything about Sonic canon has been taken away, all because of me! I feel remorse for my actions! D= " because they are completely devoid of the capacity to even FATHOM that other people have different opinions or view the world differently from them. They genuinely and sincerely believe that their outlook is objectively correct and universally accepted, and we're all just PRETENDING to say we feel otherwise to be contrarian.

I was raised catholic. I know how this shit works. People who think we're all children of god, that our souls belong to the almighty, and even if we claim to not believe in him the truth is we inherently must and do accept God as our almighty creator no matter what we say. Because THEY believe that he is real and responsible for everything and owns our souls, so we're just acting out as a cry for help or something. Same shit, different asshole. Religious fundamentalists are all the same, no matter how secular their institution of faith is.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for vaguely coming out to my boyfriend's aunt at Thanksgiving?

As you can probably guess my bf and I are a gay couple. There was a mostly unspoken - just bc it didn't need to be spoken - agreement that we'd be acting like we were just good friends at his family's Thanksgiving bc they're Catholic and he's generally just not ready to be out.

It was just me, him, his parents, and his visiting aunt... who was decidedly very butch. Like undeniably. There's the standard old-lady-with-short-hair look but then there was this genuinely bulky rural woman who is unmarried at 60, never had kids, and outright told me that her friends essentially called her a masc name AND that she was here instead of home bc the "close friend" she usually spends holidays with passed away this year. It all just added up like crazy. Idk if my bf's parents have put it together themselves and/or if they just ignore it or what, and actually even my bf denied it when I first brought it up but I think he's just struggling to reconcile his upbringing with who he is and whatnot.

Anyway, that last part about the aunt's likely partner was during a private moment between the two of us, and it really sealed it for me. I started to offer condolensces and she immediately changed the subject to ask about the "close friendship" between me and my bf-- plausibly innocently, but I just felt it was right and I more or less confessed to her that I had really strong feelings for him.

And that's ALL i confessed. I didn't actually say we were dating. I just alluded strongly to the like, "we are the same" type vibes and that her nephew is like, my dream man. I didn't imply anything about his sexuality. For all she knows, I have unrequited feelings for him or something. And I know she's definitely gay herself now with how she reacted, AND she made it pretty clear she wasn't gonna tell her brother or his wife. She's chill.

So the issue is that I recently told my bf about this, knowing he would at least be upset that I didn't tell him sooner. And I'm totally ready to accept the flack for being a coward about the honestly on that part. I figured he really ought to know about his aunt, if nothing else. But he's also upset that I said anything to her of that nature at all. He insists it's the principle of the thing, that the lack of consequences mean nothing and that I should have just assumed the worst and been more careful, etc. And like, I did feel a little bad about my big fucking mouth in the moment, but ultimately it felt like a nice and important moment of connection. But WAS I the asshole for not being more careful? Like really?

What are these acronyms?

[gepgep2]

But I decided to become an anthropologist and I ended up going to Madagascar for one reason or another, and through sheer coincidence kind of, I stumbled into a place where the state had in fact disappeared. I was living in an anarchist society. But the fascinating thing is it took me a while to figure it out. People didn't warn me at first.

So I went off and I was in a small town but, the town was like an hour's drive out of the capital. It's hardly like out in the boonies anywhere and there was government offices, there were people in the government offices typing things, there was a police station, various other state facilities, so it would seem obvious there was a government here. But as time went on I realized there was something kinda weird going on here. Actually I think what gave it away is I heard the story about this guy named Enri, he was this enormous scary guy who was either insane or pretending to be insane. People seemed to have mixed opinions on this one. But all agreed that he was terrible- he's violent, he'd beat people up, sexual assault, steal things. So eventually people thought something needed to be done about this guy, and this is the town of 10,000 people right. And as I learned, there seems to be this basic principle in Madagascar that if you want to lynch someone you have to get their parents permission first. If you think about it, it makes sure it really doesn't happen very often. And if it does, there's probably a very good reason.

Basically it's a way of ensuring that like, your dad or your mom can go up to you and say 'Look, you really need to clean up your act- I don't know how much longer I can front for you here.'

So after about three tries his father said 'To hell with it. You're right, the guy's crazy.' They came at him with agricultural implements, he was injured and immediately ran into the local Catholic Church and demanded sanctuary- said 'Help! Help! I'm being persecuted because I'm mentally ill.' The priest eventually loaded him in the back of a van and took him off to a insane asylum, where they kicked him out three days later for beating up the other patients, but he never came back so it kinda worked out.

Be this as it may, when I was hearing this story I was thinking 'Wait a minute... there's like a police station right over there. Why didn't they do something about it?'

They were like 'Yeah, but have you seen Enri? He's enormous! They don't wanna fight him.'

'They have guns!'

'But they're not gonna shoot him, I mean come on.'

So there was this idea that it really wasn't any of their business. Eventually I figured out the police basically were there to keep the highway open. And they wouldn't go off the paved road. So what this meant is like, unless you're actually in the town itself, first of all nobody was paying any taxes, police would not come. Even in the town they wouldn't do much. But the fascinating thing was they set it up in such a way that you wouldn't know until you've lived there for a while that there was no state operative in this area. Because there are people who seem to work for the government. Later I learned that they weren't really being paid and they even had to buy their own paper to fill out forms because the government was basically providing nothing. But they were keeping up appearances.

There's a sort of traditional mode of resistance, I mean Malagasy are masters of passive resistance. Under the French colonial period for example they were trying this sort of thing. the basic approach is like, if somebody shows up and wants you to do something you really don't want to do, the first line of defense is: be nice to them, give them coffee, agree with everything they say, when they go away pretend the incident never happened. 'What? What guy? No, nobody came through telling us anything.'

And there's layer on layer of defenses these guys have developed. and it didn't work that well under the French, suddenly when the French government went away it was working better and better. The IMF was basically cutting the budget. They just simply cut police to the rural area, they figured people are running their own affairs anyway. They werent getting any taxes out out of them to speak of even before that. What eventually happens is the government effectively dissolved but they were still playing this game: this sort of like, tacit deal- we will never embarrass you, and make you feel like you're an important person who has authority, as long as you don't actually try to exercise it in any way. So everybody was playing along with this illusion of a state that didn't actually exist.

So it was an interesting test case in a lot of ways, in fact I find it a very compelling argument to use for people. Again one of the most common arguments against anarchism is that, well you can't get rid of police because people will just start killing each other. Just considered self-evident. No evidence needs to be produced. Well, actually no. This can be empirically tested and that doesn't happen. There was a case- police went away and nobody killed each other, any more than they did before, which isn't very much. And I think there's many places in the world like this by the way, where states have disappeared but we don't know because sometimes, if you are a rebel, you realize that the stupidest thing you could possibly do would be to put up a flag and say 'Hahaha! I am a rebel! We are autonomous now!'

For every case like Somalia which you hear about because there's violence, there's probably a dozen like Madagascar where nobody even knows.

It makes you think. What is it about living under a state, under someone else's authority, under the constant threat of violence if you break the rules, that actually causes behavior that makes it seem self-evident that people would behave violently if there wasn't such structures? Because in fact, if there aren't such structures, that's not how [people] act.

So there I was in Madagascar. I come back, I get a job teaching at Yale. one day I walk out of class and there's a newspaper box that says martial law declared in Seattle. And soon enough I discovered that the sort of social movement that I'd always kind of wished would exist, but didn't, actually had formed during the time that I wasn't paying attention. My immediate reaction is like great, where do I join?

So I got involved in the direct action network in New York and there are two things that really surprised me and which I've been trying to think about how to deal with ever since.

People were trying to develop this model of consensus-based direct democracy which although we identify it with the anarchist tradition, comes out of feminism just as much or more. Anarchists really adopted it because it's the type of process that could work in a society without coercive enforcement of decisions.

And it was a wonderful thing for me, but I suddenly realized that, that is what people were doing, that's how decisions had traditionally been made in Madagascar for thousand years probably.

And one reason I hadn't been completely able to understand what I was seeing when people did that at the time was, it was so natural to people that nobody really talked about it. It was just the way you do things. Whereas Americans even though we thought we live in a democratic society, how many of us have really had any experience sitting down with a whole bunch of people making a collective decision on an egalitarian basis? Maybe when we're ordering pizza.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t1Icrh7S9l8

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 & Ep8 Musings - Loustat's Fire Gift, and Withholding (Pt3)

(Part 1 is my discussion about whether or not AMC!Lestat is fireproof/sunproof as of the S3 promo. Part 2 is my gifset of the first time we see the Fire Gift used in S1.)

I've noticed how many folks were surprised to see Lestat use the Fire Gift in 2x8, so I just want this series of posts to help break it all down.

This scene is the first time (AFAWK) that Louis has ever seen Lestat use TFG in their 30/100+ years. But this is NOT the first time WE the audience has seen Lestat use TFG.

The whole point of Lestat revealing his Fire Gift to Louis in 2x8 is multilayered, but it all boils down to an important main theme:

Withholding

Lestat deliberately withholds A LOT of information from Louis (& Claudia), about his/their nature as a vampire, and esp. about his past (TVL).

Lestat Withholding his True Nature/Powers/Gifts

book!Lestat never wanted to scare Louis, by letting him know exactly what powers Les had, and exactly what he could do, and how monstrous he was ("how things will never be right between monstrous us"). But contrary to popular opinion, this goes FAR beyond him knowing Akasha's blood is in him--and lord don't even get me started on the braindead Amel takes.

Lestat says exactly why he hid his true powers & gifts from Louis: cuz Louis "shrank in guilt and self-loathing from using even half of his own powers."

(Catholic) Guilt & self-loathing is a HUGE theme in TVC. It's why so many vamps yeet themselves into the sun/fire, thinking they should die. They hate themselves, and find it impossible to carpe diem in the Savage Garden, or see any reason to endure--and "if you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love anyone else, can I get an amen!" Self-loathing vamps like Nicki, Daciana, the Children of Satan/Darkness, Armand, and ofc Louis don't treat the Dark Gift like a GIFT, but as a CURSE. They have no "Vampire Pride." 🏳️‍🌈

Lestat revealing his Fire Gift to Louis was on one hand an act of honesty, honoring Louis by being transparent with him: "Here's all of me, I'm not gonna hide things from you anymore, look at what I can do." But it was also an admission of guilt: "I really was hiding stuff & lying; I am a monster; but you already hate me, so there's no point keeping up pretenses."

However. Some vamps hide in the shadows not cuz they're ashamed of what they are, but cuz they know it's not SAFE; that if people knew certain secrets about them, it could get them literally killed. (Istg Anne Rice snapped with all the queer parallels in vampirism. 😤🤌)

Lestat Withholding His Past (TVL)

Some of Les' withholding IS excusable/forgivable: Marius ordered Les to never say a word about TWMBK, cuz whatever happens to them/Akasha happens to ALL vampires: if she burns/dies, ALL vamps die. Some self-loathing vamp extremists WANT all of them to die, so They Must Be Kept SECRET from as many people as possible. So it's 100% valid for Les to never tell Lou about Akasha.

(But conversely, AMC!Les is a effing brat who broke that rule, blabbing about them to Lou & Claud in S1, AND Lou & Armand in S2; but y'all wanna convince me that Les GAF about obeying the Great Laws in that scripted AF Ep4 revist? Sure, Jan. Les had ONE job and failed at it TWICE. 🙄😒)

However, Marius' command has ZERO bearings on why Lestat never told Louis about himself. Les was perfectly safe & free to tell his NOLA fledglings about Magnus & Nicki (a la 1x6), Gabrielle, AND the Children of Darkness, cuz none of them had any effing clue that Akasha existed.

The ONE name I can excuse is Armand, since Marius is his Maker--but Marius never told Armand who TWMBK were either, for a VERY good reason: it's LITERALLY a matter of life & death for ALL of them.

Knowledge is Power

AMC including the element of domestic abuse to Loustat's already canonically toxic AF dynamic implies several things about both the implications and ramifications of Lestat's tendency to withhold.

It adds an insidious element of danger and fear that Les' NOLA fledglings feel about about him, where they live with him in constant insecurity--unsure, unsafe, and above all: UNEQUAL. This whole show is about power imbalances. It's so bonkers to try dismissing the abuse in Ep5 just cuz Lou & Claudia didn't act scared enough, when Ep6 & Ep7 had them repeatedly explain how uncomfortable they--esp. Louis--felt, not knowing eff all what Lestat was capable of doing to them! Just cuz they're not cowering in a corner doesn't mean they don't fear the unknown or verbalize about those fears:

Claudia jumps in to ask a very good question ("Who made you?"), but notice how Lestat deflected & never actually addressed Louis' point: TELL US *WHAT ELSE* YOU CAN DO. (It's moot whether or not Lestat had already used the Cloud Gift while they had sex in Ep1--Louis was reeling, so he likely wasn't paying attention--people OFTEN describe sexual pleasure as feeling like they're floating.) Lou is telling Les that what he did in Ep5 SHOCKED them--floating an inch off the ground/bed is NOTHING compared to soaring into effing outer space. ("He got tricks, is all.")

Louis repeatedly emphasized the raw difference in weight class b/t immortals like him & Claudia, and immortals like Lestat specifically.

LOUIS: "But he's not mortal. No illness can touch him. You threaten a life which will endure till the end of the world!" CLAUDIA: "I'm done enduring!"

In 1x6 Lou stresses that when it comes to killing Lestat, "HE" is not mortal. Not "WE, as undead vampires, in general," but THIS dude in particular. Even in his total ignorance about Akasha, Louis still knows there's something special about LESTAT specifically that separates him from other vamps; not just cuz of what he experienced firsthand in Ep5, but also from the Spell/Mind Gifts he knows Les often uses (poker in 1x1, the soldiers in 1x3, the bar in 1x5, etc).

As I've repeatedly pointed out, AMC loves putting Louis & Claudia at the same level, stressing that their position/status/experiences are the same, esp. wrt where Lestat gets positioned. Louis & Claudia are Lestat's "diminished" progeny, who can't do anything Les can do.

Louis was deadset convinced that the answer was a resounding NO. He begged Claudia not to even try, not to even think of trying, cuz she'd be "destroyed," a la what book!/AMC!Les himself warned her.

Louis has no idea what else Lestat can do, but he's seen enough to know that Lestat is sitting on way more than he's letting on. However, unlike Claudia, he blindly accepts that it must be a simple matter of some vamps just being "born" better--a total role reversal from his ambitious spirit in 1x1-1x3. Lou's been beaten down (literally) to the point that he's internalized the same racist eugenics determinism nonsense that had taught his generation & the generations before him that some people (*cough*) were born lesser and could never rise above their stations or lot in life and MUST be stopped if they got too "uppity." So Lou' swallowed the Kool Aid, but S2!Claudia proves that this IS a lie, just like she said it was in 1x6.

Vampires CAN learn advanced Gifts--but the important thing is that they MUST already have the scaffolding to support those powers:

the experience of age/practice

the benefits of a strong Maker who can pass the abilities down,

access to an Ancient vamp whose blood they can drink

Loustat Learning the Fire Gift

Lestat's Fire Gift

AMC!Les already has TFG in 1x1, so it's safe to assume he got it from Akasha the first time he drank her blood (TVL). However, book!Lestat didn't acquire the Cloud Gift (& astral projection) & Killing Gift & "probably" TFG until QotD, after he'd guzzled a metric ton of Akasha's blood; way more than the sip he got in TVL.

He knew about TFG for centuries, cuz Marius swore to torch Les if he ever blabbed about TWMBK. But despite this knowledge, Les COULDN'T use the Fire Gift--he didn't have the right scaffolding yet.

Even in the PL Trilogy, almost 40yrs after Akasha was dead, even knowing what Marius revealed in Blood & Gold (that you can repel the Fire Gift even if you don't know wtf's happening), Les was unsure of how well he could survive TFG if he fought an Ancient--

But apparently he did have it in PL, and definitely in PLAtRoA--

And ofc Les had it in BC (2017) when he finally killed Rhoshamandes; he was able to send TFG right back at Rhosh the way Marius said to.

Louis' Fire Gift

However, book!Louis never even knew the Fire Gift was a thing until the 1980s (reading TVL). Pyromaniac du Lac always set ish on fire manually. Even in PLatRoA it was still a guestimate--even for Amel--if Louis (knew he) had TFG yet, let alone if he'd ever bother using it:

AMC leaned into this, as Louis himself says his Fire Gift only works when he Hulks out--

--and we all saw what happened to that Theatre. 🔥

Another big difference is that this time Les KNOWS Lou has TFG, and Armand taught him how to use it, cuz Les sure AF didn't.

Armand teaching Louis how to hone/use the Fire Gift is one thing, but HOW did Armand know Louis could even BE taught? Did he just assume that cuz he knew Les had the Fire Gift, that his fledgling MUST be able to use it, too? But what about Louis' diet?

ARMAND: I understand you supplement your diet. LOUIS: I feast human every other night.

Louis was still eating pigeons & crap in Paris, so how would he have been strong enough to have TFG already? Esp. cuz we know in Eastern Europe Lou kept complaining about how cold he was, so I assume he didn't have TFG then either.

Meaning Louis must have been GUZZLING Armand's blood in Paris. Sadly, we never see them do this or even talk about it.

So I wonder who initiated the convo to have Louis learn TFG? It could've been Lou, just curious how TF Armand could do that in 2x3.

But it makes HELLA sense for Armand to insist that Lou drink his blood & get TFG down--if only for protection, cuz the same scene where Lou's practicing with TFG is also while Loumand's talking about The Secret.

Armand knows it's Bad News Bears for Lou to stay in Paris and not join the coven, he warns Lou over & over again. And we know he's not above throwing his own coven in the literal flames--in TVL he torched his coven after Lestat arrived in Les Innocents.

So I'm convinced Armand was intentionally teaching Louis TFG, knowing good & daggone well this could only end badly, and hoping it could give Lou some way to defend himself.

Cuz who'd expect the coven to jump Lou during his cozy family dinner surrounded by humans at a public cafe with THE Armand standing right ther--oh wait. 😬💀

So maybe I'm wrong, and it really was just Louis being curious & wanting to learn the Fire Gift himself, and Armand DGAF either way.

Like, I was always suspicious of the scene where Louis drank from "Rashid," cuz we never actually saw the blood--Armand covers his neck wound so Daniel can't see anything. So I'm still wondering how much of Armand's blood Louis could've POSSIBLY even drunk, in Paris or Dubai. Cuz although Armand's a 400-500yo fireproof/sunproof vamp in Dubai, we KNOW Louis isn't. In the books, the vamps that can use the Fire Gift are also sun/fireproof. But AMC!Lou still burns in the sun in SanFran AND Dubai in 1x1, even though we KNOW he has TFG in Paris AND Dubai!

So WTF?

*sigh* AMC, I stick by my 1001 rants about y'all having effed up royally by making Armand a daywalker. Cuz this ish is confusing.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Ok, I am awake, have eaten breakfast, drunk my coffee, and now am sitting down to catch up on GMMTV 2025! From the excited chat I've seen in various places, I'm thinking this is gonna be good, but we'll see!

I'm just randomly clicking on the trailers, so no real order here.

Ticket to Heaven - Ooof, wow. What a start. Ok, I am super excited for GeminiFourth to be working on something more dramatic and adult, because I think they're going to do an incredible job. P'Aof did amazing work with them in Moonlight Chicken, so I think he's a great director to take them through such big lead roles. And this looks like a really powerful story. At the same time, I am someone who has experienced direct harm to my family from the Catholic church (abuse leading to someone taking their life), so even the trailer was very emotional and triggering for me. I will likely try to watch, but will have to be careful for my mental health.

Girls Rule - a lesbian Only Friends! Fabulous, I'm in. OF wasn't my favorite, but it was hella entertaining, and I am here for letting lesbians be messy too.

Do we need to start a counter for "uggggh branded pairs are going to ruin this" posts? Cuz I know they're coming. 😂

Only Friends: Dream On - Lolol, love that this is the one I come across next.

Holy shit! This cast!!! I am just reeling. Also, can we talk about Gawin & Joss being paired again? I love that Gawin has always been more random with his pairings, but at the same time this has to mean that they are totally fire together in My Golden Blood, right? If they're already getting paired for a new project?

Oh, the whiners are going to be so mad. But I love it. P'Aof being a senior director of content production is having a clear impact.

Me and Thee - More PondPhuwin, yay! And more PerthSanta, excellent! And they're not students!

Omg, a pseudo-dark Pond who is actually a huge dork. The plot of this isn't super amazing for me, it's a premise that's been done a lot, but as always, that PondPhuwin chemistry is always so damn good.

Whale Store - more GL, yay! MilkLove are having a busy 2025. The plot isn't super compelling for me, but I like that they are offering such different GLs next year, so we can have more options for what different people resonate with.

Cat for Cash - My babies. Something very different from Heart Killers, for sure. Lol, and of course they made Khaotung cry in the trailer. And Satang getting to do something a little different for him!

Um. Look I love FirstKhaotung. Of course I'm gonna watch it. Do I love the talking cats? Not really. Just not quite my jam. Hoping that's a minimally used part of the series. But the acting should be stellar.

MU-TE-LUV - Ok, I have to admit I was feeling incredibly confused until I realized it was an anthology. I can be slow sometimes. I do love a ton of the people appearing in this, so it could be fun.

Memoir of Rati - More GreatInn! I did expect this. Love that we're going historical. Ahhhhh, AouBoom!!!!

Oh, this one is going to hurt, and I am going to have to watch it.

That Summer - A lead for WinnySatang! Oh, yay, I'm happy for them. Ah, the good ole amnesia trope. But it's actually working for me here. And we get a proper love story with Mond! On paper this is one that shouldn't necessarily excite me, but the trailer sold me, I'm here for it.

A Dog and a Plane - TayNew era continues! I am already loving this. Lolol, New's boyfriend cheating with Poon, oh this is fabulous. Oh, are we getting MarcPoon enemies to lovers?!

100% immediately sold, give it to me now.

Boys in Love - Of course, gotta get at least one school series. Pretty standard fare, but a very cute and charismatic cast. And PoddPapang sides for us older fans! Though I am guessing it will be like the teacher romance in 23.5, so mostly crumbs sadly.

Love You Teacher - PerthSanta! Woot woot! And they're in adult jobs, yay. Oh, interesting that we're getting an established couple, that's so rare! Hmm, our teachers are a little bit kinky and I approve. Wait, we're getting two amnesia plots next year? I mean, I think Satang's character is faking it a bit? But still, this is funny to me.

Hmm, you know what? The plot is a little odd, but I feel like there could be a really sweet core here of what it really means to love someone and take care of them when they're having hard times. And honestly if anyone was going to be a believable child in an adult's body, Santa was a brilliant pick.

Dare You to Death - Ok, I literally just gasped. Am I getting a JoongDunk mystery/thriller!?!?! Lol, "so we can work better together, come live with me", very smooth Captain, very smooth. Wait... are we getting cheeky Joong back? I haven't seen him since 2 Moons 2!

I. am. so. fucking. in. Gimme gimme gimme.

Burnout Syndrome - Ooh, OffGun in a more mature series again! And P'Nuchy!!! I had her on my bingo card for last year, I've wanted her to come back to direct for so looooong! Oh, this makes me so happy. And Dew coming in to dip his toe into the BL waters. I am very intrigued by this one.

Wu - Hmmm, fortune teller and string of fate...interesting. I'm not familiar with SkyNani, but they seem cool. This might be a bromance? Which is fine with me. Just not a lot to go on quite yet.

My Magic Prophecy - JimmySea! Woot! Ok, this looks interesting. Having to go on the run together is always a good formula for romance. And I just really like these two.

Head 2 Head - Another SeaKeen series, good for them! I have to admit I didn't finish Only Boo, I was really enjoying them as leads but I just kinda lost interest in the story. Definitely a different dynamic here! And they're getting to be a bit more mature already. I'm mildly intrigued for this one.

Melody of Secrets - another thriller!!!! And it's a trippy one! ForceBook being adults!!! Oh my heart, I am so happy!

My Romance Scammer - there's Ohm! I knew GMMTV didn't bring him in just to bench him. Paired with another Fluke too, lol. The trailer was a bit all over the place, but I think I'll be into this one. And more JuniorMark is never a bad thing.

I Love "a Lot of" You - I do love Nanon, but it's het, and historically multiple personalities haven't been super well handled in media. So just meh.

The Love of Siam - just a tease for this, so not sure what the end product will look like. But I do love musicals, and would love to see a Thai one.

Holy shit, there was so much stuff here! It's definitely ambitious of GMMTV to try and do all this for 2025, but I'm not stressed about it, I'm just happy to get what I get. And it's so incredibly queer overall! Which makes sense based on what we can see of the viewing metrics.

I do hope the people who were dismissing P'Aof in their fears around bromance taking dominance are able to acknowledge that he's doing some really good and important work here, however you feel about the individual story choices.

I love that this feels like it might be the year GMMTV grows up a bit. Their actors are getting older, and the audience who first came in 4 or 5 years ago are older now too.

No proper old man yaoi yet, but it's a step in the right direction!

And I love that we are doing so much more than plain romance. Give me all the BL thrillers!

Didn't get a ton on my bingo wish list, but I am still grateful and happy to be living in the era of this kind of content.

[hymen-restoration-project]

they're not gonna kill u, ur overreacting, also acting like ur a literal messiah comparable to Jesus or “Jesusita” is blasphemous and completely fr**king delusional

Blasphemous? Oh am I causing a Christian schism in your stupid little guy religion? Cry about it. I'm neither Catholic nor Protestant. I'm Intersectional. Both and neither

[folklore-barnes]

Things I wish Grotesquerie would've done different✝️

It's been a while since I've posted anything Grotesquerie related. After the season finale I kinda stayed away for a bit, from the fandom and anything about the show in general, until yesterday. And if I'm honest, I think it's because I was a little disappointed with the season finale. I didn't want to admit it, but I think I really was and still am a bit disappointed. I think it was great, I feel like it really sets the scene for season 2, and it makes me excited for the next season. But I had all these theories and expectations that I really thought I was gonna get right. It's funny because I don't really theorize much with shows or movies, I kinda just go with the flow, but the vibe with Grotesquerie was just so different, it genuinely felt like anything could happen, so I dared to dream and was disappointed when I realized I probably aimed a little too high... or maybe I didn't 'cause the show is only getting started, who truly knows?

Now that it's been a few days since season 1 ended, I've been able to think about the show with a sorta cooler head and I feel like I am able to share my opinions more accurately, and in this post in particular I wanna talk about some of the things that I wish the writers would've done differently.

For starters, I wish the coma storyline never happened, or if it did, I wish it would've been different.

That episode when we find out that it was Lois' coma dream all along was one of THE best episodes of the show. The acting, the score, the way the plot unfolds, the twist, the surprise when we find out everyone is different from who they are in the dream; it was everything you could've hoped for, and it was very well done. But, I feel like there were many things about the dream that were so good, and it would've been better if they were a part of reality as well. Because although the twist was great, afterwards, the show felt kinda regular. And maybe that's why the last episodes were a little harder to watch. Because for example, you had this unconventional nun who is a journalist for a Catholic newspaper; she loves gore and true crime, drinks alcohol, has a crush on her priest, and is a theology genius. You pair her up with an alcoholic detective, who, despite her problem, is the best at her job and has the makings of an iconic character in every single way. That Micaela Diamond / Niecy Nash chemistry is just too good to pass up. And I know that we're gonna see them together in season 2 as detectives, but I just think that the weird and fun nun / alcoholic and genius detective dynamic is kinda irreplaceable. Now all you have is... what? Two detectives, one of them retired? Where's the fun in that? I feel like, especially after what happened with Megan's abusive weirdo partner, and the crimes that are happening, their relationship is definitely gonna be stronger, but I just think they're gonna be two detectives, and I don't see how you could make that more unique and special than a nun and a detective being partners.

Another thing is, there were some elements in the dream that made you question the reality of what was happening.

Like for example, Lois being able to smoke in the station, the whole idea of Nurse Redd, the constant confusion, the Last Supper snow globe, things that didn't seem to make sense and just other small details that I wish would've been real. Were they questionable? Yes, but that's what makes the whole thing fun, it's different, and it makes you go “wait, what is going on?”. One of the things that I love about Outer Banks is that a lot of the things that happen wouldn't really happen in real life. Those teenagers go to so many places and are able to escape their parents, and don't suffer the consequences for the things they do, at least not like they should, and it's not realistic, but it's fun. I don't mind realism in television, but sometimes realism is boring as hell, and also depressing, especially with everything that's going on in the world. So there were aspects of Grotesquerie that didn't really seem realistic, but they gave the show life.

Another thing is, Dr. Charlie, I love you down but I miss Father Charlie so bad.

Like, come on, you got a hot priest with rizz to carry him and his sermons for DAYS; who is trying to make changes in the Catholic church and make them more progressive, while he's also fighting behind doors with sins like lust, and pride. That? That was a winner right there. And I also would've given him more screen time. I would've made people think he was the killer all along, just for it to end up being someone else, but not let him entirely off the hook 'cause he's got the potential to be antagonistic. Like I said, he really could've been the devil or something. Now THAT would've been a story.

As for Eddie, Merritt and Marshall, I would've left Eddie as a nurse, Merritt as the wonderful doctor she is and I would've not had Marshall in a coma. Had this been the reality, I would've had Marshall help her out a bit figuring things out and maybe even have him be the mastermind or main servant of the devil or entity or whatever in the end. I would've also had Merritt a little more involved, somehow because I love Raven Goodwin and hello?? she's a genius. She could've helped Lois see aspects about the case that no one else could see.

I have many more thoughts that I'll probably share later. The truth is, I'm still excited for the future of the show and I think we're gonna see some interesting things happen because like I mentioned before, the show is just getting started. Hopefully we get more seasons, and the show is successful so that we can continue to see the story because there's still a lot of things we don't know. I just think the original characters had a much more interesting potential than the ones we have now. BUT, and this is a big but, we don't even know if the reality we're seeing is a reality at all. A part of me doesn't think they're gonna do another reset, but one thing Grotesquerie has taught us is that anything is possible. So, we'll see.

[hollow-keys]

The Devil's Chord is basically:

"Let's go visit Mr Wifebeater and Co, who are obviously the most important musicians of all time, and act like they were all totally cool people even decades after Mr Wifebeater's wifebeating became public knowledge."

"Oh no, the world went into a nuclear winter without music we have to save it by finding the right chord to banish the evil demon music thief!"

"BTW the music demon is a nonbinary drag queen called Maestro (I'm gonna assume they don't know that's a gendered word lmao) who was safely prevented from destroying the world by the Catholic church banning the chord that summoned them. Please do not think about the subtext of that."

"Also this random washed up musician somehow found out about the summoning chord and played it. Don't ask how no one else tried playing it out of curiosity when it was apparently already public knowledge or how the church knew it was evil without playing it."

"Ruby is just saur important she managed to hold off the music demon with the power of the songs in her soul (???)"

"The Doctor pulled 6/7th of the banishing chord's notes out his own ass first try somehow and Mr Wifebeater and Paul McCartney got the last one first try also."

"Musical number everybody! The End!"

Literally what the fuck was that?

Honestly the original Toymaker serial was so haunting at times with him trapping people from the real world in his domain and turning them into literal toys he would then bring back to life to use against new people who got trapped in his domain. He pit them against each other in games, promising freedom to whoever wins, dooming them to either remain his puppets and let the newcomers go free or doom the newcomers to take their place so they can escape, and that's assuming he was telling the truth. The Doctor can't beat him, only escape and leave the domain with those people trapped inside. The TARDIS team tell themselves they're not real, just puppets pretending to be real people, but it's not clear. They're tricking themselves into thinking it's clearer cut than it is to make it easier to leave them behind.

Those were such good episodes and all RTD can write is pale imitations that are insultingly stupid even for children's television. "We defeated the Toymaker with a game of catch" "We defeated his child (did I mention the Maestro is related to him?) with a musical note password we got first try." What is this?

And they're still going with the pouring salt at the edge of the universe weakened the fabric of time and let supernatural beings in thing? "I invoked a suspicion at the end of the universe where the walls of reality are thin" doesn't sell the salt thing, sorry. I can't take it seriously. If Chibnall wrote this, more of you would be hating. This is like the fucking rat saving the universe in Endgame all over again.

[millenniumfae]

Dragon Age Demons vs Real-Life 'Inner Demons'

Way back in the summer of 2015, my symptoms got so unbearable I was bedridden. 20 years old and experiencing psychosis, quasi-hallucinations, and actual, unending panic for the first time. It marked the start of a condition that has never stopped since.

My aunt (and other relatives) helped me develop proper mindfulness skills based off of our homeland's folk Buddhism - the 'second arrow'. The meaningless of forgiveness. Devaluing control. And something that struck me as a new Dragon Age fan … 'Possession'.

Well, when translated to english, you'll find texts using the word 'insight' rather than 'possession'. But that's the word my mom translated from off the top of her head, and it immediately resonated with me.

"Imagine your panic as an inner creature. Something that is also you, but is acting independently. Treat your panic with kindness and mentorship, not antagonism. The more you struggle in the spider's web, the worse things get. But if you nourish what's hurting in you, let them tantrum, then come back in to nurture."

Up until the 2010s, the most acclaimed mental health books you could buy written in the english language would most certainly be christianity-influenced. Maybe not overtly, (but you'd be surprised how many have a chapter about "insert-book-topic-here and Christ") but there's little hints like how the reader must have left home at 18 to avoid mooching off their parents, or how to 'turn guilt into something productive' (???), the use of the word 'gamble' as a bad word, etc. But these books tend to include a chapter that would be some weird bullshit like "The Dark Souls Of Respawning?? What Daoism Says About Immortality" and take a brief moment to talk about the radical, never-before-heard-of methods from across the pacific that Will Turn Your World Upside Down.

Behavior therapists (of the 1950s) were aware insights about the origins of the problem usually weren't helpful. Exposure to the thing the patient feared was often curative. -When Panic Attacks by David D. Burns MD, Chapter 18, "Taking a page from the Tibetan Book of the Dead"

Now, it's no secret that the Dragon Age serial is very. Um. Christian. Catholic, specifically. Faith is written to be an unequivocally redeeming trait. Attempts at inventing fake elf/qunari/Tevinter 'religions' still have them be belief-based, colonialist, and conversion-heavy, while also at the same time implying that the 'Maker' of Chantry faith is the single actual true god.

So it's no surprise that the demons and spirits of DA are very seven-deadly-sins. Party banter and side-quests do point out the euro/christian-centricity of this demon categorization (Merrill, Solas), but that doesn't mean shit if, in overall story and gameplay proper, Pride is the most powerful demon while Faith is virtue at all.

So here I am, lying in bed and only capable of just riding the waves of panic day after torturous day. You bet I'm gonna try to geek-erize my symptoms. If people do it with Jesus, then I can do it with Dragon Age.

Enter Vigilance the Spirit. I was an at-risk young Rivani mage, so their Magic Welfare Government helped me join their クサビ-依り代 program and matched me with a spirit to induce possession. Can't boil two skulls in one pot, so to speak. I could have chosen to do their hemispherectomy program (I am made Tranquil but carry around a piece of the Fade like a pacemaker that keeps me perfectly lucid, only turning off when I sleep), but that comes with its own risks.

But it doesn't take much for a spirit of Vigilance to do a 180 and become Panic. They're still Vigilance, and I am still me, but the taste in the mouth is different. Our life will need to adapt.

I will not kick myself for 'failing' my friend. Vigilance has turned to Panic, yes. But they have always been one. Now, so are me and Panic. Such is the nature of spirits.

If I am kind to my spirit, then I am kind to myself. It's what we both deserve.