#they're both very desperate

[alleiwentcrazy]

The first time Eddie agreed to try, Steve looked surprised, like he finally scratched the right numbers on a lottery ticket. Like he hoped for it to happen, but didn’t actually expect it to happen.

Steve had been really interested in shotgunning for the longest time, which was completely insane to Eddie, because he’d always assumed that Steve had tried each and every stupid way of wooing somebody and getting them to make out with you. Hell, even Eddie had this experience—and he’d never been, by any means, proclaimed the King of Hawkins High.

“Wait,” Steve said, baffled. His eyes were unfocused, face drawn. “You’re not kidding?”

“No?” Eddie responded, squirming on his spot on the carpet. He immediately felt his confidence (which was already quite feeble) melt. “You’ve been asking for ages, maybe we should just do it and get over with.”

“Get over with,” Steve echoed. A fleeting expression cast a shadow over his face, but it was too sudden and too short for Eddie to decipher. “Right. Yeah, let’s—let’s go.”

He handed the joint over. Eddie tried to take it between his fingers with every last bit of bravado he had, but it didn’t make his hand any less shaky. They both shifted slightly, trying to sit closer and more aligned, but managing only an awkward angle that could have been really uncomfortable if they decided to sit like that for a while longer. Eddie looked around, but they were alone in the room, the rest of the party seizing the opportunity to experience what was probably one of the most beautiful golden hours in the history of the universe. He didn’t feel like he was missing out on anything – judging by the way those soft, honey-colored sun rays were hitting Steve’s eyes at a perfect angle, making them somehow bigger and brighter, Eddie had the best possible view right beside him.

Eddie swallowed before he took a hit. He kept reminding himself to stay focused, but when he leaned forward at the same moment that Steve’s nervous expression melted into something more delicate and so easy to shatter, Eddie’s whole consciousness blacked out. The last thing he noticed was how softly Steve’s eyes fluttered shut before he leaned forward as well.

Their noses bumped. Steve immediately realigned himself. Eddie didn’t even register how it happened, but suddenly their lips were more or less pressed together, and he had to act fast before he did something stupid. Slowly, he started breathing out the smoke, but it billowed around their faces instead of disappearing. Steve was frozen, with his parted lips faintly ghosting Eddie’s, while Eddie himself was on the verge of panic.

He was shotgunning with Steve Harrington. There was no space left between them, Steve’s skin smelled like warm cedar, his lips were so soft they were practically asking Eddie to lean into them. He didn’t know for just how long he’d be able to take it before collapsing.

Finally, after what felt like ages, the smoke thinned out. Eddie felt it move around them and disappear, but even when he had no air left in his lungs, he still lingered.

They both lingered.

Eddie was the first one to back away. He almost suffocated trying to prolong the moment for as much as he could, but unlike Steve, he wasn’t a swimmer; his lungs burned, his vision was cloudy. Despite that, he noticed how Steve’s face changed. His eyelids looked heavy, but the everlasting lines on his face seemed less hollow. Eddie decided not to dwell on whatever this expression could mean.

He took another hit and passed the joint to Steve.

Afterwards, they didn’t talk about it. They finished the joint in silence and went outside, where their friends were. They seemed normal. There was no change in their interactions, but this single incident altered Eddie’s whole worldview. That was how he found out just how massive his “stupid crush” had gotten.

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

[ruporas]

can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

[inheroes--wetrust]

iwtv s3 is going to be Peak Romance because its going to be all about the pining. which is. OBJECTIVELY. the best part of any relationship development. its going to be that one scene where lestat reaches for louis but he doesn't notice and leans forward times one billion.

every week i will be screaming at my tv for them to kiss. they will not do it. instead they will exchange loaded glances every fifteen seconds. lestat will slip up and call louis mon cher by accident and my head will quite literally explode. we will get a full episode of nothing but louis staring longingly at lestat on stage and yet every time lestat looks over louis is busy doing something else. one day louis will look at a random guy in exactly the wrong way at exactly the wrong time and lestat will snap and murder every single person louis has spoken to in the past month. louis will not make the connection and instead will ask daniel if he thinks that louis being around makes lestat revert back to a more volatile headspace and if he should leave. daniel will be able to escape to be psychosexually tortured by the most beautiful man on the planet but i will still be here, sitting in front of my screen, tearing my hair out because lestat and louis will say literally anything to each other besides i love you.

[blitzwhore]

Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Blitz—

Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.

Eventually everyone goes...

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.

I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.

Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.

But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.

I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!

It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—

You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.

[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]

Stolas—

Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?

I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!

You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.

I'll save us both before we grow cold.

What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.

I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...

He deserves the choice to stay or go.

So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...

Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.

What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...

I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.

I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!

[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]

[fairyroses]

He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.

— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)

+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):

[seaquestions]

blake lets him keep it. this is a dire lapse in judgement on his part but they're just gonna have to live with it. (ids in alts)

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.

Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.

anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[nocreativityfornames]

Welp, THAT'S a case of late realization if I've ever seen one...

I mean, the brothers have known that we're looking for a way home for what, almost twenty lessons? Since you know, during that meeting at the Council Room we told them that we were brought to the Devildom by someone else and that Solomon was helping us find a way back.

I'm guessing that Levi ( and probably the others too ) didn't expect things to happen so quickly ( in the brothers' perspective, at least, since to them we haven't been there for long ), and knowing that we only have four pacts to go, and could very soon leave the Devildom, he got overwhelmed by all of it.

Which is totally understandable, by the way.

The only friend he has outside his brothers - and romantic interest if your relationship with him goes that way - is leaving him and it fucking kills him.

[chloecherrysip]

We're going to save your brother.

[lolhex12]

we don't talk enough abt akutagawa's cough / lung disease (chronic&terminal) yet it has so much angst potential?? anywayy

after the current arc, atsushi knows akutagawa is actively dying and he's the only one who does bc akutagawa didn't tell anyone else abt it. (altho, in all honesty, the amount this man coughs should at least hint at it. i'm honestly amazed not more ppl in the story are concerned abt it)

so, the next mission they have together, akutagawa coughs and atsushi is now aware what it really means, so he wonders out loud with nonchalance masking his concern: "hey, so like, do you think yosano's ability would help with your cough and all? would it go away then?"

akutagawa, wiping his mouth, slightly annoyed: "how would i now? i'm not well-acquainted with your coworkers, weretiger, therefore it's none of my concern. and even then, i wouldn't trust any ada members with my issues, nor my life."

atsushi finds his words a bit sus bc 'u do trust me tho', but doesn't say it out loud and they leave it at that.

somehow, it becomes a regular thing. every time they have a mission together and atsushi hears his partner cough, he presents more ideas of how they could cure a terminal lung disease, and they vary in absurdity as he runs out of inspiration.

his ideas range from mere "have you tried going to a doctor?" (<- at which akutagawa stares in disbelief: "you either think i'm an idiot, or you are the idiot. which one is it?" and atsushi pouts bc 'ok yeah, fair... but also, rude') to insanities like "maybe witchcraft would help! i could look up witches in the area and see if black magic or something has any luck." (<- at which akutagawa is so done he doesn't even entertain the idea and just keeps walking)

they never follow through with any idea tho, bc akutagawa stubbornly refuses to waste time on trying to find a cure when his time on earth already is very limited.

it should also be noted that each time the cough gets worse; louder, rougher, more persistent and even bloody, which only makes atsushi more and more worried.

so one time, akutagawa's particularly annoyed by atsushi's insane and stupid ideas. he turns to him and point-blank asks: "why do even care so much whether i succumb to my illness or not? surely, my death should only leave you overjoyed to see the world be rid of one more evil."

that makes atsushi think bc 'why? why does he care whether akutagawa lives or dies? he's right, a bad person like a mafioso dying should be a good thing.'

after lengthy contemplation he comes to the conclusion that he simply cannot have his sworn enemy/rival/partner die from something as pathetic as a disease. someone as strong as akutagawa has to die in a more memorable way - not alone, in a bed, coughing, with nothing more to be remembered by. if anything he'd have to die fighting atsushi or something. yeah that's it. that's why. (<- it's not, but they're not quite there yet)

so atsushi tells him as much. akutagawa accepts it bc 'yeah, makes sense. what else could the reason be?'

the whole routine of coughing and brainstorming a solution in vain continues as the ideas get even more insane, the cough even worse and atsushi more concerned than ever.

the next time akutagawa is annoyed enough to pose the question again, atsushi is close to tears from anxiety as he holds up akutagawa who collapsed and can't seem to subdue his cough properly.

atsushi struggles to get out the water bottle and cough drops he'd started carrying around on their missions together. he's so scared bc he's never seen akutagawa look so sick and frail before (but not weak. never weak. akutagawa could never be weak in atsushi's eyes. it's impossible, bc akutagawa being strong is a simple, unchangeable fact, constant in any possible universe).

what would he do if akutagawa actually died there? in his arms? on a mission? which would probably get cancelled. would the pm think atsushi killed him? does he bring back the body or just bury it somewhere? pretend he got killed on the mission and not by his own body that had turned on him years ago and was in reality a long time coming? he couldn't even bear to think abt it.

"why tf do u care so much??" akutagawa yells with a scratchy voice before his cough continue despite his best efforts to stop.

atsushi can barely breathe anymore. "because i don't want you to die, you idiot! we're a team! you're my partner. who will i be left with if you go?" tears stream down his face, mainly from how overwhelming his anxiety feels. or maybe bc he really doesn't want his partner to die? nah, it's the anxiety. definitely the anxiety. (<- #denial)

akutagawa, at first embarrassed how his collapse derailed their mission bc goddammit he's supposed to be a professional and not let his issues interfere with his job, pauses when he sees atsushi crying... for him? because of him? ???

he's very confused bc he's pretty sure his rival/enemy/partner should not be so concerned abt his health and impending death, but something abt atsushi's expression and that whole situation makes him rethink his outlook on life.

that's when akutagawa starts taking his health more seriously and actively looks for possible, feasible ways to cure his disease, even if there's only a small chance it'll actually work. bc seeing atsushi like that made him realize there are a handful of people who care abt him and would mourn him if he died; more than just his sister and higuchi.

it made him realize his life had a bigger impact on others than he'd previously thought, not all of it bad.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

it's been a little bit but i gotta say. that diary of a wimpy kid punchline was SO GOOD. like you /told us/ that the first two were a set up for a joke and yet it still landed absolutely perfectly. like. /wow/ i was CACKLING and i still giggle a little whenever i think about it. just phenomenal execution

Comedy comes in threes, and sometimes that means two great high fives before slapping a diary of a wimpy kid crossover in your hand.

[side-of-honey]

In case you were curious, the way I work on comics is by slowly accumulating brainrot over the span of several weeks and then expending it all in one rapidly deteriorating burst of motivation! :D

I tried experimenting with hair a little in this one so that it’s more of a mix of my style and omocat’s rather than just omocat’s? Idk, it looks both kind of weird but kind of better imo???

[dustteller]

Esen is clingy, and Ouyang WILL complain about it (very loudly!), but he's half-laughing and not pulling away, so Esen will count it as a win.

[sharkdays]

i Do think it's interesting how amethio has been having zir and conia track/watch spinel. instead of his initial behavior of a straight on battle (in regards to liko/friede, at least)

i think it says something interesting about his development, especially in regards to the explorers as a whole

[vibrantboredom]

I'm relistening to I am in Eskew at the same time as the Silt Verses come out and it's so fun seeing ideas introduced in Eskew resurface in TSV, like I just finished ep. 24 and the way the History Society works is so much like our new scary war saint!!! Obsessed