#they're actually maybe worth money

[gingermintpepper]

As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version

Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].

So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.

This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus

Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.

So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.

Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺

ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.

I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!

That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.

For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:

(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)

Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)

Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:

(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)

Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:

and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...

(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)

And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!

Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)

And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)

Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)

But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:

(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)

Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.

These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.

(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)

Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')

And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:

But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.

It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.

Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.

All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?

The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.

[oldtestleper]

it's crazy to go to a gallery and see truly mediocre work being sold for hundreds of dollars and then come on here and see someone selling a stunning, vibrant, skillfully executed, meticulously detailed original piece for double digits

[stairset]

Microdosing on having money by looking at virtual tours of apartments I can’t afford

[teaboot]

Okay it sounds bad but bear with me:

Someone owes me a significant amount of money, and has made it clear that they do not intend to pay me back.

I sent them one text to follow up about it around two months ago, letting them know that I wasn't stressed about it and I could wait or do installments if they needed time or things were rough, and they promptly blocked my number and deleted me on social media.

I was kinda bummed, but then, you know. I figured, it's a lot of money, but at least they've removed themselves from my life, right? If I were to choose between thinking someone like that was a reliable friend or paying a lump sum for the trash to take itself out, I could make peace with it. Whatever. Live and learn.

So, I haven't seen them in a few months. Cool. But then I was walking downtown and I see someone out of the corner of my eye just sitting around, having a drink. Don't know who, don't know what. Not paying attention, yeah? I'm living my life.

But as I get closer to walk past them, I see them get up and start booking it. And as I turn to figure out what's up, why is someone running, I recognize the back of their head, and as they look over their shoulder, we make eye contact, and then they're gone.

And I realize

I just got off work. I'm power-walking in what could ostensibly be interpreted as their direction. They look up and see someone they ghosted, who they have screwed monumentally, coming at them with a hundred-yard-stare and what they may not know is a regular resting bitch face. I don't even care about the money anymore, I've accepted it as a loss, but they blocked me on everything so they don't know that. And they went, "fuck this shit, not today" and dipped.

And that would be funny on it's own, but we do not live in a large, heavily-populated area. It's definitely going to happen again. So my question is this:

How long are they going to let themselves live in fear of my stumpy 5'3" ass hunting them down like John Wick or the devil himself before they snap

And how good is this gonna get while I let them

I think I just accidentally became someone's loan shark??

[catfishofoldin99colours]

*head in hands* university,,,,,,,,, whyyyy,,,,,,,

[thedevotionaltour]

anyone else ever remember how they are gonna end up in some dead end soul sucking job instead of the actual career they wanna pursue because they are far too unskilled for it. just me. awesome.

[rubys-domain]

these dishes are literally everything wtf

[xcziel]

.

[chaos-and-cookies]

Turns out u CAN in fact take a nap w.o feeling like u got hit by a truck waking up

U just need a new pricy mattress and even pricier pillows, but its possible!

[120189hearted]

#2 Astrology Observations. "If you live for people's acceptance, you'll die from their rejection." -Lacrae Moore

Saturn, Chiron in the 2H can struggle with insecurities and anxiety, have a low sense of self worth. They can also have financial problems and be prone to sore throats or other neck related problems. These people need to find stability in their dignity and material security, they have to attain self worth & respect through their own efforts rather than seeking validation from external sources. It's like, no matter how many things you buy, anything that is outside of you won't guarantee you more confidence or happiness. There's a fear, restriction, trauma around money, overspending and values (your values physical or not and your dignity).

People with Uranus in the 3H may forget to: think before speak, study, communicate with others like neighbors, siblings or cousins, may forget to be overall more social.

Aquarius Lilith might be reluctant in self expression, might feel ashamed or hesitant in truly being themselves because of past experiences where they might have been ridiculed for their unconventional ideas or way of being, and people being too judgy towards them and that could've scarred them. As a consequence, they could feel like an "alien" and tend to hide being themselves because they might feel shameful of that. For example: Aquarius Lilith in the 3H may be shy or quiet, problems with communication skills, they maybe used to be expressive and social but they were shamed for it so they experienced being silenced and made fun of their interests too, made fun off of their / by their siblings, cousins or neighbors, avoidant of talking too much, insecure when talking or standing up for themselves.

Mercury in Taurus, Scorpio, Pisces and Cancer may have a singer-like voice, fluid voice too for the water signs.

Sun in 8H might have faced trauma related with male figures in your life and also have an absent father, physically or emotionally.

Natives with Libra, Taurus, Venus in the 12H might prefer keeping their relationships and their romantic partners a secret. They can also keep their crushes secret, not even telling to their friends or family. They might also like to gatekeep where they buy their clothes, make-up, skincare products from or just not show off these things. They can also prefer keeping their money, income, financial status a secret and not boast too much about it, their possessions or valuable things.

People with Moon, Cancer, Venus, Libra in the 12H, 8H and 6H can be queer, part of LGBTQ.

Moon in Aries people can be impulsive, have a hard time controlling their feelings like they're a volcano, their emotions can be explosive. They're the kind of people to go crazy over the smallest inconvenience.

Mercury in Scorpio or 8H can make natives interested in or like doing research about the occult, dark topics or other taboo things that don't have to necessarily be like the previously mentioned.

Taurus, Libra Risings or Venus in 1H is an indicator of beauty. They can have a very harmonious, symmetrical face.

Capricorn / Saturn in the 12H are karmically protected, as well as natives ruled by Saturn. As a side note, I would beware hurting or messing with people who have Saturn in 6H, 8H and 12H, and again especially those ruled by Saturn at the same time. But usually those who do them wrong are most of the times supposed to learn a lesson, that's Karma.

Venus in Aquarius can dislike it when their admirers are overly obsessive or expressive of their love for them. It can feel uncomfortable for them especially as a first impression.

Moon in the 6H or in Virgo too much overthinking and being overly anxious or emotional that it becomes an actual obstacle hindering them from daily life tasks, stress or too much negativity can manifest as health problems for these people. They could feel so much that they start getting stomachaches, headaches etc.

Saturn in 5H / Leo or 7H / Libra can be either hopeless romantics or just less interested in romance. Their love life can be very dry and not have much of that. Delay in marriage, may happen later on in life.

[cesium-sheep]

I was having trouble deciding what to play, I kinda wanna play kh but I kinda wanna play another lego game and the internet said lego city undercover is really good when I looked it up before, like the third best lego game of all time or whatever (behind lego star wars which is for sharing with arin if we get it and lego marvel which blech, yuck), but list price is $30 and I don’t actually have that much left this week unless I borrow from monday or take from secret savings, but!

I pulled up the product page again just to check and think about it and it’s on sale for $6!!! yayayayayay :D obviously gonna buy it now even if I do decide to play kingdom hearts.

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

[echantedtoon]

Bouquets/Flowers They'd Give You

Nothing much. Just some headcannons about what kind of bouquets the demons would gift you. Maybe modern au maybe not idk. None of the images are mine I just found them on Google and Pinterest. Daki n Rui are platonic gift givers. No romance from those two.

Kokushibo is a traditional man and as such would stick with the classic but beautiful full rose bouquet sometimes with baby breath to make it asthetically pleasing.

Is it really a surprise this guy would get you something that reminds the both of you of him? They're very pretty though so it's all good.

You want a teddy bear, flowers, balloons for your special date? This man gets you all in one package and makes sure to make it pleasing to look at. Everything for his darling.

If it's regular Kny he'd just scoop up whatever wild flowers are growing around him and present them to you but since we're going with modern here, he doesn't have a lot of money to throw away on flowers that'll just die so he takes his time to really make you something permanent you both can cherish forever by doing origami. The many paper cuts are worth it seeing you smile.

In a similar way to Gyutaro, Daki would want to gift something permanent you both could enjoy forever however she'd be more splurge-y than her brother and gift you a flower clip or hairpin.

Kaigaku barely gets you flowers in the first place but if you mention wanting to be gifted flowers long enough or if it's a special enough occasion he wants to celebrate, he'll get you something. But not a full bouquet, he'll just get you a simple rose or flower.

Nakime really doesn't get you flowers too often either, but on the rare occasion she does it's either a single rose like Kaigaku or flowers matching her own aesthetic.

So I just found out that seashell bouquets are actually a thing, and they have to be glued together and stuff. Seems like a good enough fit for the fish man.

Look he can be a sappy romantic if he wants to be. A big bouquet of roses and chocolate strawberries are the object of his choice if he's going to go all out.

he often worries about what to get you. He doesnt want to look too guady with a fancy oversized bouquet but he's also worried about a single flower not being enough so he gets you something in the middle all tied up in ribbon and lace. Please tell him you love it, he's very nervous.

This guy has money to burn. He practically shoves one of those really beautiful but really expensive bouquets with the big flowers covered in gems in your arms and calls it a day. It's expensive and maybe tacky but he doesn't see it that way.

like any sweet child, he just plucks whatever flowers he finds growing on the ground and gifts it to anyone he likes.

[lyrinsluv]

10:42pm

timeskip! tsukishima x [implied female] reader

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

wordcount: 908! :D

everything showers, something most girls dreaded, and something others loved. but of course, those showers were so often for you. after learning about kei’s love for strawberry shortcake, you couldn’t help but pick out strawberry scented things for your showers. ranging from strawberry lotion to strawberry sugar scrub, strawberry shaving cream, and even a strawberry shower gel.

at first, it was subtle. he would smell your lotion that you applied onto your body everyday. of course, it was just for moisturizing purposes and nothing more. you totally didn’t want to catch his attention every time you sat down next to him during your lectures. there just happened to be no seats open. the scowl on his face would always go away after he got a grasp of your scent. 

the next thing you tried was actually talking to him. you noticed he had some tape on his fingers. maybe you could make something out of him playing volleyball?

“are your fingers okay..?” you ask stupidly. you just wanted to initiate some sort of contact, even if that resulted in him sighing quietly at you.

“they're fine,” he mutters out. clearly, it was going to be hard to get on his good side. it wasn’t as bad as you thought, though. the next couple of lectures, you became closer and closer with him. he just couldn’t get over your strawberry scent.

now, you two are out at a cafe. the one thing he orders is a slice of strawberry shortcake, no coffee, no tea. just the shortcake. it wasn’t a date, per se, it was a convenient time for the both of you to meet up because you just truly didn’t understand the lesson that your professor was babbling about. as you drink your vanilla latte, he looks at you. 

“what? don't make fun of me for not understanding, it’s kinda hard to take notes about something that’s not important to my major.” you mumble out. his lips turn up into a small smile. something that you yearned to see. oh god, maybe it was worth the money you threw down to smell good for him; for kei tsukishima. 

“i didn't say anything, you know.” he says quietly as he sets his fork down. of course, your scent filled up his mind with so many thoughts. he knew he loved strawberry shortcake, and now he loved the way you smelt. it was like his dream, but the dream was sitting right in front of him. he just wanted to eat you up, just like his shortcake that was halfway finished. 

it was 10:42 on a friday night. no, you weren’t out partying, and no, you weren’t out with anyone. you were standing in your shower, doing your everything shower that was oh so often. the way the sugar scrub’s scent filled your nostrils, the way you glided the lotion all over yourself once you got out: just for kei. this strawberry scent was something you were getting used to, no wonder kei’s small smile was always on his lips every time you were close to him. 

as you stood in front of your bathroom, you realized that you had a couple of texts from kei. 

“did you finish the paper? it was due twenty minutes ago'' - 10:20pm.

“i had to close for the museum today, sorry for not texting you.” - 10:26pm. 

oh how you loved communication, and how you loved him. what you didn’t expect to happen that night was for him to call you. you answer hastily, not caring if it looked embarrassing or needy. 

“yes, tsukishima?” you ask quietly, putting away all of your body care. 

“you didn’t respond to me,” he mumbles back. 

“what if i was asleep?” you remark. the smile on your face didn’t match your tone.

“what were you even doing?” he asks. he wondered what you did. and why you were so attractive to him.

“i was in the shower, actually.” you respond back. you sit on your bed as you put the phone on speaker. 

“thanks for being thoughtful, i didn't think you had it in you.” you say with a giggle, referring to his considerate message about your paper. and god, that giggle made his stomach twist and turn into knots. 

“sure, whatever.” he mutters, laying on his back as you two continue your usual banter. he closes his eyes, his mind full of you. 

“why do you always smell so good?” he asks quietly. he opens his eyes, realizing that he said that out loud. 

“uhh, forget that.” he says as he rubs the bridge of his nose, his voice echoing through his room. he places his glasses on his nightstand, his fingers brushing through his hair.

you take a breath, trying to contain yourself. 

“me? smell good?” you ask, ignoring his hesitations. of course your stupid act helped with this. 

“wha..? yeah, you always smell like strawberries.” he murmurs out, closing his eyes as sighs in shame. 

“maybe it's because i want to smell good for you, ‘shima.” you mumble back, not caring about that blush that was eminent on your cheeks. 

you knew the night would end well because that call lasted a couple hours, with a few teases here and a couple confessions there. you sink into your bed as he hangs up the phone. 

and at that, an apparent but known realization hit you: you were in love with kei tsukishima.

[alchemistc]

Tommy, still a little uncertain despite Evan's very obvious and frequent heart eyes, despite Evan's frequent reassurances, despite the feeling curling under his own ribcage. Tommy's dated a baby gay openly twice before and been subjected to the pain of a partner tucking him away, or a partner more interested in the scene than anything genuine, Tommy who remembers all his time in the closet and how hard he'd had to work to pull himself out and keep himself out.

Tommy who thinks "he's adorable, this will be fun" and cuts a date short for both of their benefit because he doesn't Want That anymore.

Tommy who agrees to meet for coffee because he does feel a bit bad about the closet comment, he does genuinely like Evan as a person, trying to convince himself he'll be good when Evan says thanks but no thanks, I wanted to clear the air so you can stay friends with Eddie, I actually don't know how much I like men.

Tommy who says yes to a date to a wedding and suddenly has a screenshot of Evan Buckley's calendar open on his phone, gaze darting through his own plans to find time in between to meet - next Friday he's out with some of the harbor guys, but he could probably tell them his plans changed - but no, bc they'll know something and he's not ready for them to know something. Tuesday Evan has his niece, but maybe Tommy could bring them dinner? (Christ Tommy Slow Down).

Tommy who takes Evan to a trendy gay bar expecting him to at the very least soak in the experience, even if he's not actively checking out every hot guy (and girl) in the place, only Evan is So Invested in whatever story Tommy is telling him that it actually takes him an hour and a half to realize this isn't a run-of-the-mill dive.

Tommy who takes Evan to brunch expecting him to maybe hit on a server or the cute girl in the sundress across the patio (unfair, Tommy, you've seen literally zero evidence he's like that, except Tommy's still testing the waters and this is still very New) only Evan is critiquing the technique of this chefs pain perdu and gently coaxing a server over because he noticed Tommy's Bloody Mary was running low (They're Bottomless, Tommy, I'm not saying he's bad at his job I'm just saying it's busy and we should get our money's worth out of these bottomless drinks).

Tommy who is startled every time Buck grabs his hand in public, or presses a kiss to his cheek, or leans his forehead into Tommy's jaw with a huff of laughter like he's Enchanted by Tommy's dry humor.

Tommy who forces himself to remember once, twice, three four five times that this is new for Evan and he shouldn't push it, until he maybe forgets that he was testing Evan, a little. Unfair, again, but he's not sure Evan actually noticed.

Until some time after the wedding date, a night out turned hot and heavy in the elevator up to Evan's loft, they're giggling and grabbing handfuls of ass and when Evan slips inside the loft and presses Tommy to the inside of his door and sucks a mark into the skin of his collarbone (he noses aside the open neck of Tommy's Henley so it's not visible without some work, which Tommy appreciates) and darts a gaze up through his eyelashes and asks Tommy if he's passed all of Tommy's tests.

"I haven't --."

"You have, but I get it, Tommy you took me to a bar full of eligible queer people and I was so distracted by you it took me two hours to notice that guy hitting on me every time you went to the well to grab us drinks."

Yeah, he'd noticed that too. A lot more quickly than Evan, apparently.

Tommy who's never really dated someone so Into Him before having to reassess a whole bunch of things about himself and his comfort level with intimacy and pda and lovelorn looks sent in full view of strangers and friends and coworkers because despite best efforts to keep his expectations reasonable he's being romanced and Evan makes it feel effortless to accept it and respond in kind.

[blackbirdsblackberries]

I HATE THE NEW HERO

Pt 4: No luck today

Engineering is probably one of your good subjects - mainly due to the grades you get and the equipment you get to create for your second life.

That being said, your luck isn't very high right now because just as you enter the classroom you're called up to the office. Over the loud speaker. In front of everyone.

This is your last straw. You're going to actually break down and cry.

Taking a deep breath you head to the office and stand in front of the receptionist.

"Uh, hi.. I was called up?" You state to the distracted receptionist. "Huh? Okay. Go into the principal's room I guess." She waves you off dismissively and you hold back a retort.

You make your way to the room and knock on the door. It opens with the principal on the other side. "Ah, There you are. I was worried you wouldn't show! Please, have a seat." He opens the door wide enough for you to get in.

You enter and your eyes fall onto a boy with spiky black hair and tanned skin. His back is to you. Next to him is a taller, more bulkier man in a pressed suit.

Your stomach lurches, feeling ill all of a sudden. Your senses go off and you fight the urge to run away. You can't tell who these people are but something isn't right.

Slowly you make your way to a third chair that was placed at the desk. You glance at the two males and have to swallow the bile - it was none other than Damian al Ghul-Wayne and Bruce Wayne. Your eyes immediately snap forward and you clench your fists slightly.

There's no doubt Tim had said something horrid about you to them, maybe he snitched on the fights you two had, whatever it was now you're in deep shit.

You try to get a read on them but it was near impossible, they were both stoic. It didn't help that you refuse to look at the two. The principal sits down at his desk and crosses his arms.

"So, I have been made aware of some things that you have done recently, (Reader). According to numerous anonymous reports you have cyber bullied someone, picked fights, had plans to build dangerous weapons and had hit animals... Listen, you're a good kid but with what I have here I might have to expel you."

Fuck. You can't get expelled your parents would throw you out or something! You can't! You didn't hit animals! The most you hit was a fly! Dangerous weapons? There's nothing like that at all, besides the plans for you superhero weapons. Those aren't dangerous though. You cyber bullied your vigilante persona to make it more realistic! You never pick fights - you don't want to risk hurting someone with your increased strength!

Though, something makes you freeze. If you were called here for that then why are the two Wayne's here?

You think the principal is a telepath because he speaks up.

"You're very lucky Bruce Wayne and his son are kind enough to vouch for you though they said they wanted a favor in return." Oh. Manipulation. You scrunch your eyebrows, they probably reported me alongside Tim. They're doing this so they can hold it above my head and make me complacent or subservient to them.

Maybe it'd be best if Aranea faked their death. Started a new identity or something... You probably wouldn't go through with it but it's a nice thought.

Well, you don't have much of a choice. You can still silently make your hate known towards the vigilante and it's not worth losing a scholarship over. Especially with parents like yours.

"... Fine... Thank you for this offer, Mr Wayne and Mr al Ghul-Wayne" you mutter. God it's shameful, you want to crawl into your skin and die. Was it worth putting your dignity on the line? You're not too sure. What you're sure of though is that you will get to eat tonight. If your family has the money...

Bruce nods his head in affirmation and puts on his Brucie smile, one that even you struggle to see past. "Of course, what kind of person would I be if I would overhear something so tragic and not do anything about it. We can go over the favor later." He states. You hold back a grimace though you're sure everyone can see the effort.

You don't know what to respond with, humiliated enough by this clear manipulation. You just give him a double thumbs up. Damian stares at you weirdly and the principal raises a brow. Bruce however chuckles, though it's forced.

The principal ushers you out of his office and tells you to wait out the front with the receptionist for Bruce and Damian while they chat some more with the principal himself.

After waiting for a bit the door opens and the two males walk down the hallway to where you are. Damian scowls and glares at you while Bruce looks to you blankly, detached.

You stand and awkwardly rub your hands on your uniform. Something they clearly don't miss as their eyes snap to the motion.

"uh, thank you for this opportunity... What's the favor?" You managed to work up the courage to speak without stuttering like a madman. Something you believed you should get a pat on the back for because the two guys were terrifying.

"The favor is simple really," Bruce starts his Brucie personality back in play "Stop speaking badly of Aranea and don't pick fights with my ward, Tim. Easy right?" You nod. You expected this. Honestly you should be a detective or something you think to yourself.

Nah, that's Batman's job.

You pick up your bag and head to the door, Bruce however had moved while you had seemingly zoned out while in thought and was standing in front of the door while talking to the receptionist and in your haste to leave you bumped into his side.

He automatically puts his arm on your shoulder to steady you and your mind connects the dots.

Bruce has the same build as Batman. Batman seemingly adores Aranea, or at least you think so, he's hard to read - like Bruce (for both being hard to read and adoring Aranea to a weird point). Same amount of kids. Plus Batman had to be rich if he could have a plane and a new looking suit after gruesome nights.

God, how did you not see this before...

Amidst your freaky reality check you fail to notice Bruce trying to get your attention until he snaps in your face - like how your dad does. You hate that.

Your head shoots up and you take a couple steps back while muttering an apology while Bruce stands there with a raised brow, confused while Damian looks at you with disdain as if you soiled a good outfit.

Feeling humiliated and terrified you quickly move around the two men and out of the door. You're in deep shit now... Even something as simple as secretly knowing the identities of the vigilantes that watch over Gotham is a death wish.

This is going to be the worst day of school, so, you decide to leave. You go to the sick bay and get a slip to leave school and you do.

You run home as fast as possible and get to your room. Your mother is out cold in her room with some man she met from the bar so you shouldn't have to worry about her.

You take a couple deep breaths and contemplate on what to do now that you left school, you could catch up on assignments, you could take a nap, or you could go on patrol...

It's daytime and you're pretty sure Signal will be patrolling today, you like Signal, he's a chill guy. Now though, now you don't really want to be near any of the vigilantes.

You decide to check your phone to see what area Signal is patrolling, it comes up in the GC, Westside Gotham at the Midtown area.

Okay. You can do East Park Side then. It's not your favorite area but at least you won't be confronted with one of the vigilantes so soon. Plus, the park is nice.

You suit up and head out. East Park side wasn't far away from you due to the lack of money your family has you are stuck in downtown.

You spend a majority of your time on patrol, helping people and just hanging around. Soon, much to your surprise, you get a call from Batman.

"Aranea. What are you doing patrolling without your comm on and without informing us?" He sounds as serious as ever, usually you'd roll your eyes but right now you're struck with fear. His voice holds maliciousness and anger deep under it. The very same way that Bruce Wayne had spoken to you. You don't want to admit it but knowing the identities of these heroes makes it more suffocating to be around them.

It also meant you had to be much more careful around them.

"Uh... I was bored at home so I went out on patrol?" You respond, trying to keep the energy in your voice, even if it felt like you were going to explode.

"That doesn't answer my question." He responds, you're sure he's picked up on the fakeness of your cheerfulness. "Right! Ha! Forgot about that. I didn't wanna disturb you all! Plussssss, Signal is patrolling so it's all good!" You laugh it off.

Batman isn't laughing. When does he ever?

"That's no reason to not inform us or at the very least turn on your comm. What if something happened to you? What if you died? You aren't invincible. You'll die in that stupid suit if you don't work with us!" You wince slightly. Fuck him. Does he really think you need him and the others to survive? Not to mention him calling your suit stupid, sure it's not perfect but stupid is just overkill. He only even thinks it's stupid because it isn't made with his money!

You honestly couldn't find the effort to continue talking to him, so with your faux cheerfulness you decide to end the call. "I get it. I'll know better next time! Bye bye!"

Sometimes you wish you were old enough to drink.