#now that i think about it，none of the activities i enjoy most in the game have anything to do with resin

[rubys-domain]

these dishes are literally everything wtf

[notsoverymerry]

Boyfriend (j.yh x reader)

<jeong yunho x fem!reader>

summary: You can't believe you're dating Yunho. Others can't either.

genre/warnings: smut, unprotected sex (please use protection!), fluff, use of pet-names a/n: let me know literally anything about this :) word count ~3.6k

You were dating Jeong Yunho; you really were. 

You went on dates, held hands, kissed, and said the cheesiest, most sweetest, tooth-rotting things to each other. All the time. And yet, none of the boys had caught up. By some mysterious miracle or rather an ominous curse, guys and the staff have considered you two to be just really good friends. You could've screamed love proclamations at each other from mountaintops, and nobody would take that seriously. His habit of calling you his little bro, or some variation of that, as a pet name did not help in the slightest.

At first, it was funny. Just at the beginning of your relationship, when you intended to keep your fondness away from prying eyes and wanted to enjoy exploring each other in this new, intimate side of things, having people consider you pals was great. You can recall Seonghwa making a few remarks about how cute you would look together, but it was dismissed rather quickly. The first time it happened, you totally saw Yunho's ears go red, him stammering out something about friendships and trust and members making you uncomfortable. 

At the end of your third date, you were sure you wanted this man next to you for life. He took you to the aquarium. It was a cliché, but it's something you have always dreamed of. You love animals, love to learn new things, and you think you love Jeong Yunho. He looked dashing in just a pair of blue jeans and a white sweater; your heart definitely skipped a beat when he smiled, hands reaching to greet you in a short embrace. It skipped a beat again when you heard him laugh lightly at some joke you made. And again, when his hand brushed against yours as you walked to your destination. Stepping into a room with tiny fish specimens showcased in various tanks, blue lights now illuminated his frame and those round sparkling eyes. Your heart doesn't seem to work correctly. 

Few hours went flying. You took pictures. Half of them when he wasn't paying attention. You told him he looks like the prettiest starfish they have and didn't miss his cheeks darkening with blush even in the dim lights. Not too long had passed before you started to point out funky ones to each other, exclaiming, 'You!' and laughing. After a particularly accurate comparison of you to a dwarf puffer ('Dwarf puffers are aggressive, sensitive, and active' the sign read), he reached and intertwined your fingers, not a single hint of trying to hurt you with that juxtaposition, his eyes full of adoration, a huge smile on his face. You could have just kissed him.

He insisted on ice cream later in the evening. You were just heading out the shop when you bumped into Mingi. Faces red but happy, Yunho's arm hugging you to his side, a small bag of sweet treats in his hand. It took a second for Song Mingi to take the sight in. And another second for him to smile and greet you, to ask how's it going and where you're going to go.

''Oh, my girlfriend and I are just going to relax somewhere in the park nearby.''

You couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips. Girlfriend. You can definitely get used to being called his girlfriend. And then it happened. Cue Mingi's cluelessness, or the fact that he's just tired from their hectic schedules. 

''Man, it's great that you can be so close with each other and aren't afraid someone will mistake you for a couple. If you could act a bit better, maybe you'd even get a discount sometime!'' With that, he was gone. 

There was a little tradition your small company liked to keep. Board games. 

Every once in a while, when everyone wasn't busy, you'd spend an evening playing, talking, lightly drinking, and overall just relaxing. Adult life could take a really boring turn, the one that only had 'road work ahead, and so should you' sign. Bills, taxes, colleagues being stressed and mean, and yada-yada. Idol life was probably even worse. 

There was some catching up due, and this Saturday night seemed just the perfect opportunity. The lot of you chose a game, lo-fi music was put on for background, and the living room area was cleaned so up to ten people could comfortably sit in a circle. Drinks were cold and ready to be handed out. 

You took a seat in between your beloved Yuyu and Yeosang, a dear friend of yours who got you in the group. You'd expect him to know your heart of all people. Although when you told him about your new boyfriend, all he did was laugh and say that was a good one. 

Bewilderment washed over you in a tidal wave. It showed up on your face, swimming behind your eyes and overflowing in a strangled sound from your lips. And you, Yeosang? With your confused and hurt whimper, the topic was brought to everyone's attention. 

''Did you guys know y/n likes Yunho?'' Maybe it was the alcohol, but you heard more laughter. 

''Oh? But y/n likes all of us, don't you?''

''Well, yes, but—'' you were not going to finish that sentence. He heard what he wanted.

''See?'' Wooyoung looked so smug; if your brain wasn't so busy being confused, you'd be infuriated. Right now you looked like there was a loading circle turning in your head. Hopefully you won't bluescreen. 

''Are you guys pulling my leg?''

''Are you? Seriously, you and Yunho.'' There came a playful nudge to your side. 

You wanted to protest, to ask your boyfriend to back you up, but turning to him, you saw his eyes creased by a smile. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to say that it's fine and they will catch up to it eventually. He knew it was going to take them a while. And with his hand lightly caressing your back, your anger dissipated, replaced by a warm feeling inside your chest. Was it always so hot in here?

''Just relax, little pal. I got you.''

A while has passed before you decided to be openly affectionate, at least around those closest to you. 

It was a day off for the both of you. You planned on going out, but upon seeing your boyfriend's tired eyes, you opted to offer a quiet night in. Weather seemed to agree with that, given that it started raining against the broadcast's best predictions. 

You were met with Hongjoong, who opened the door and let you in. When you entered their living room, you saw Yunho, still in sweatpants and a big shirt, holding a steaming mug. 

''Hey.'' He said, ''Isn't it my favorite little dude!''

''Hello, honey.''

The warmth in your voices could melt the arctic icebergs. You took a few moments just to look at each other, gentle smiles tugging at the corners of your mouths. 

''Oh, hey, bro! I'm also in the room, where's my sweet greeting?''

It was San, a pout already present on his sleepy face. 

''You'd get it when you have a girlfriend.''

The day was spent in the comfort of their couch, with soft cushions and comforters draped around. None of you cared for the cancelled plans, not really, when all you ever wanted was to be in each other's presence. That was enough. Several movies were watched, hot tea keeping the cozy atmosphere company. You were cuddled with Yunho, feeling warm and giddy. That's when Seonghwa made another comment about how cute the two of you were. 

''But I don't want to make you uncomfortable, y/n. Don't take this close to heart. We know there's nothing romantic going on.''

It was as though they were doing it on purpose.

''It's okay, Seonghwa; we are together. Like, I love him and all that.''

Your voice was steady, your face was serious, and yet…

''Of course you are,'' San almost scoffed. ''But that behavior is exactly why you can't get a date these days. People see Yunho and don't dare approach you.''

A light chuckle could be heard from the room; Yunho also couldn't contain his. The more blunt you were at stating your relationship status, the more oblivious band members became. 

''Little broski is saying she doesn't need a date. She has me. Right, darling?''

Yunho was being honest. You nod at him, darting your eyes back at your friends in hopes of seeing the realization there. Yet, his playful tone and charming smile did nothing to convince the others. It's not like you've been actively trying to make them believe you were an item. Though now it seemed to irritate you a bit. Was it really that hard to imagine you and Jeong Yunho together? Were you not good enough in their eyes? Or was it his habit of calling you bro? You never knew. 

''Why is it so hard for you to believe we're dating, though?''

You voiced your thoughts, needing to know the answer now.

''Y/n, love… You'd date a reputable scam artist before Yunho; we know that much. You'd probably even date Hongjoong first if-''

''I can hear that!''

That was the captain's answer from the kitchen.

''A reputable scam artist?''

That was your confused reply. What does that even mean?

''And what is so wrong with dating me? I'm handsome, I'm charming, and so, so funny! A real treat. I could also be a scam artist if I really wanted to.''

A strangled sound tore from your chest.

''See? That's a laugh.''

There was another. He was not at all interested in proving them wrong.

You couldn't believe your luck when you showed up at the dorms a week later and no one was there. 

Yunho had called you, asking you to come in, some mischevous spark laced in his tone. It turns out, the boys had work, and those who didn't decided on spending the day outside. There was undoubtedly a need for shopping for essential items, as well as just a bit of fresh air and relaxation for those workaholics. Well deserved. Yunho needed it too. So when he asked if you could just cuddle him a bit and maybe cook something easy later, you couldn't find it in yourself to deny this request.

His bed? Soft. His body? Warm. Hands? Big and strong and held you against him perfectly. You were happy. You basked in the feeling of his chest pressed against your back, like puzzle pieces, you thought. You traced the veins on his arms, switching to play with his fingers from time to time. This feels nice. This feels so right. How could his members not see this? You were practically made for each other. You decided to bring it up.

''Why do you think our friends don't take us seriously?''

He let out an amused hum, his breath fanning over your neck. 

''I dunno. Maybe they all want you, just can't take the fact I already hogged you for myself.''

He hugged you tighter. In all honesty, that was distracting. How could you think about other guys, about anything else, really, when your big and strong boyfriend held you so tenderly against himself? The thought of him wanting you and caring for you as much as you did for him should melt your heart. Instead, with the way his fingers played with your shirt, caressing your skin where it had rode up, it sent hot waves someplace else. Were you cruel enough to ruin this perfect cuddle session with your dirty thoughts? 

''You're here, love?'' His hand went up to cradle your face. 

Turning to him, you couldn't avoid looking at his lips. So pink and soft. You know just how nice they feel against yours. Your eyes had darkened already, the feelings you had for this man had your head all dizzy. Without much thinking, you moved forward, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss. You felt his breath hitch. A tiny sound tried to escape his throat, but your mouth didn't let it. His hands moved to your waist again, holding you even closer.

You put your hands in his hair. You just couldn't resist massaging his scalp and tugging gently, soft locks slipping through your fingers. And god were you rewarded with another sound from him, right into your lips, chest reverberating against yours. He stopped kissing you; for a moment he just needed to look at your face. Rose hue on your cheeks and blown eyes — no doubt he looked the same. 

''I see,'' he chucled. Hands roaming your body, skimming your sides. ''You're so amazing. I can't get enough of you, my little bro.''

There it was again. The way he said it was ethereal. His voice so soft and perfectly low, his eyes dark and full of adoration. But it was the bro part that got your mind out of the gutter. Only for a moment, though.

''I want to make love to you so badly,'' you started. He sucked in a breath. His eyes fixated on your face, jumping over to your lips for a second. ''But please, stop with the bro thing. You can put that mouth to better use.''

''I'll be good,'' is his promise. 

With that, he leaned in to kiss you again. This time pressing into you harder, needier. You couldn't control yourself any longer, too. With a soft moan, he moved even closer, almost getting on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress. And it feels, oh, so good. You bite on his lower lip carefully, anything to hear his beautiful sounds again. You let him take the lead, tongue gliding over yours. He moans at the taste. 

Tongue keeps rooling over yours; he lets his hands slide under your shirt. He kneads your breasts, then moves his hands over to grab at your hips and thighs, and back under your shirt again. You feel on fire. You want him to touch you everywhere at once; you want to touch him even more. You're the first to give in, reaching to help him take his t-shirt off. 

He's gorgeous. Hair a bit messy, lips glossy and red from the kiss. He pants a little, and you reach to glide your hand over his abs and chest, circling over his nipple. You can hear a tiny pleased sound leaving him, but it's not enough. He reattaches himself to you right away, mouth finding your neck. He kisses, bites, and licks at your most sensitive spots. You take him back gladly, hugging him close and moving your hips to meet his. He seems eager to do the same, another perfect sound leaves his lips. It's a groan, and it's right into your ear, and it makes your head spin. 

''God, you feel amazing.'' He breathes out, and you can't take it anymore. You want him, you need him with you, on you, in you. Your clothes get swiftly discarded, that eagerness earning you a quiet snicker. You don't care; your brain is in a fog, Yunho is the only thing on your mind.

''Please, touch me.'' you ask, settled in his sheets and looking up in his eyes, dark pools filled with lust to the brim. 

He obliges, positioning himself at your side. ''How do you want it, baby?'' He asks, but his hands are already on you. He groups your breasts once more, bringing his mouth to suck at your neck, moving down until he can lick your nipple. He plays with you as he pleases, kneading your skin and ghosting over the area where you want him the most. ''Please,'' you whine. 

''What? Isn't it good when I touch you here? Or maybe here?''

He moves his hand to massage your thighs so close to your hot core, playing with your inner thighs, pinching slightly. You start to buck your hips involuntarily. Oh, but then he moves it over your belly to your nipples again. You tug at his hands and whine again. With more and more whimpering coming from you, he surrenders. 

Long fingers find your sticky folds to roll through them. The sound you let out makes his dick twitch in his underwear. When he finally pays attention to your clit, you feel exstatic. You look at him, at his concentrated face as he plays with you. You're lost in this feeling, lost in him. His fingers enter you suddenly, and you try to say something, but no real words come out. All you can think of is how good he feels inside of you. Your fingers can never do what his long ones can. They strech you a bit, just enough to feel this sweet pressure and leave you wanting more. Just enough to reach that gummy spot there that makes you see stars behind your eyelids. 

''You look so good like this, fuck.'' He praises. His voice brings you back to reality. ''So fucked out already, and I barely even done anything.'' 

You want to protest, to say that you are not fucked out yet, but the way your walls clench around his fingers is a dead giveaway. You are losing your mind a little. Can he really blame you, though, when he's the one pressing on that spot inside of you, so, so well. You can't really say anything, the only sounds escaping are your moans. Yunho thinks your voice sounds like honey, so sweet and thick with arousal. He bucks his hips against you, breathing deeply.

You reach for his cock, still trapped in his sweats and boxers. Suddenly, the fabric is just so frustrating. He lets out an airy laugh at your feeble attempt at touching him, taking his fingers out. You mewl at sudden loss pathetically. 

''What's wrong, love? Do you miss me already?''

He leaves your side not even for a minute, but it feels like forever. With a teasing grin, he discards the rest of his clothing and finally climbs back to bed, now on top of you. It's great. He's big and pinning you down and pressing to you just right. 

You want him inside, so you try to shift a little, make it more comfortable for him to finally fuck you, but he doesn't budge. The look you're giving his way is comical. You're flushed and needy, and there's that throbber almost visible on your forehead again. Your boyfriend doesn't give you time to ask, diving into another heated kiss with you. Your moan is bordering on a sob when he opts to fuck your mouth with his tongue instead of fucking you like you desperately need him to. 

When at last he's lining his cock up with your slit, you think you're actually going to cry. He's so hard and so big, the stretch feels euphoric. Pleasure overtakes and your eyes flutter shut as he slowly bottoms out. 

''Keep your eyes open. Look at me, baby.'' 

His words come out in a mix of a moan and a growl. You swear you could come just listening to him, hand-free and all that. You open your eyes, and the sight is breathtaking. He moves inside of you, your walls feel hot and tight and like the most expensive velvet. You can see all of that in his eyes. He feels so good, and you're the one making him hiss and groan in pleasure, his mouth forming the perfect O's and stuttering muddled praises. God, you love him.

You can't keep thinking about it for much longer. The pace he's set becomes a bit faster and sloppier, and he reaches his hand in between your bodies to put pressure on your clit. With it comes his strangled warning, '' 'm close, honey.'' And you can feel it, too. His dick hits that spot in you just right, and with your clit stimulated, the familiar feeling is building in your stomach faster and faster. ''Me too,'' your eyes close without you realizing it, and with a cry of his name, you come all over his cock. A string of curses follows, and you feel him twitch, hips stilling, and warm liquid fills you up. 

You take a minute to come down to earth again, and so does he. Leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek, he rolls over beside you, still panting a little. 

''Fuck. My baby, you did so well.'' 

You're not sure how it is possible to feel so giddy and syrupy after being so unbelievably horny just a second ago. Guess he has that effect on you.

''It was amazing, Yuyu. I love you, so much.''

''I love you too.''

He drapes his blanket over the both of you, snuggling closer, stroking your hair with your head on his chest. You want to say more cheesy things to him. Just as you open your mouth, though, there's a knock on the door, and Mingi's figure pops in, hand covering his eyes.

''Are you guys done? Please tell me you're decent; I do not want to see y/n's boobs or worse!'' 

You yelp, tugging the covers to your chin. Both Yunho and you decide to speak.

''We're decent.'' 

''When did you come back?!''

''Just in time to hear the closing credits.''

Mingi is now taking in the scene. Clothes scattered on the floor, Yunho's disheveled look, you trying to hide in the blanket. Lovely.

''I am traumatized, by the way.''

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''We brought beef, by the way. Wanna join us in the kitchen?''

You're lost. You don't know if you should feel embarrassed or offended. Mingi doesn't bat an eye at your barely covered form. At least that's what it feels like.

''Let us maybe get dressed first?'' Yunho chimes in, hugging you to him to try and cover himself a bit too. 

Mingi leaves, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You start to shift a bit when the door gets burst open once again, followed by, ''Wait, so you are actually dating?!''

[otterspaceastrology]

Pick a Card Reading + MoodBoard

If your Future Spouse was a Candy what would they taste like?

Disclaimers

Readings are for entertainment purposes, so please take with a grain of salt and enjoy!

When I talk about masculine and feminine, I am talking about energy so that can apply to any gender or identity.

When picking a pile, use your intuition, close your eyes, relax and think of the question and then open your eyes and let it be drawn naturally to a pile, repeat as many times as you need to know it’s your pile. Of course you can do it any way you want that’s just my preferred method!

Now on to the Readings!

Pile One

Red and Black Licorice

Ace of Cups, 6 of Cups, 10 of Swords

Taurus, 10th House, Neptune

Bold, Imaginative, Sociable, Energetic

If your FS was a candy they wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but they would be your favorite! They are reliable, strong and versatile! Perfect for cuddling up with a movie or playing games, they love doing cozy and nostalgic activities with you!

Pile Two

Dark Chocolate and Gummy Bears

3 of Wands, 8 of Cups, 7 of Cups

9th House, Saturn, Libra

Altruistic, Leader, Smart,Poetic

If your FS was a candy they would be a bit bitter but smooth and decadent, Being with them feels like pure indulgence! They also have this fun and unique side of them that cuts through the bitter bite, what a delicious combo!

Pile Three

Chocolate Carmel and Chocolate Covered Fruit

5 of Swords , Justice, Knight of Cups

Aries, Pluto, 10th House

Creative, Popular, Funny, Perceptive

If your FS was a candy they would be the most sought after and romanticized ones! Pure marriage material for sure! Sexy but has a playful charm that honestly makes them even more attractive! You will be more intrigued by your FS then anyone you have ever seen!

Thank you so much for reading my pick a card I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did making it!🥰✨

Collages are made by me on Pinterest, but I own none of the photos.

[ladyloveandjustice]

A Ranking of the '4 Days of Ohtori: Someday My Revolution Will Come' Revolutionary Girl Utena Game Endings

I was commissioned to do a post ranking the endings of the Revolutionary Girl Utena dating sim based on quality and enjoyment! I did a liveblog for it for it a while ago, see here. If you know nothing about the game, I think you should read it and then come back to this post. It's a fun liveblog!

I was also asked to talk about if any of the endings work out well for the main character (who I call Purple Pigtails).

Basically all of the endings aren't ideal for Perfect Pigtails. Her dad is sick enough she has to leave Ohtori to help him iirc, she doesn't ever get to reconcile with Chigusa even though she badly wanted to (it's implied she had a crush on her despite everything, but she had to basically kill her). She also knows her dad's a piece of shit now, and that both her parents lied to her. I doubt she'll ever trust them again. She may even hate her Dad now. Her family was a lie, and that's very sad. On top of that, several of the endings imply she may come back to Ohtori which is honestly not a good thing for her!!! So none of them really work out for her, but I'm going to talk about which ones work out for her the least and the most as I rank the endings.

My favorite endings of the Utena video game, from best to worst:

Juri Ending

So, after much deliberation my favorite ending is the Juri one. The fact that her response to Purple Pigtails falling in love with her is "sorry, can't just enter a healthy lesbian relationship because I am super committed to this toxic one. You know that girl I painfully pine over while starting at her in my locket? That locket I wish I could throw away? Well I'm giving you your own pining locket to torment you with MY picture. We can be sad lesbians together."

It's just so Juri. Has to spread her unhealthy behavior everywhere. I don't think she knows any other way to deal with this stuff except to put it in a locket, keep it a secret and stare at it longingly. So she assumes Purple Pigtails needs that too. It's just...incredibly funny but also incredibly sad.

Does this ending work out for Purple Pigtails? Not really, no, she has to leave her crush behind and mirror Juri's unhealthy behavior. As long as she has that locket she can never move on or find a girlfriend. I will say she's better off than Juri though, because at least her crush doesn't try to actively torment her every chance she gets. I also think she's more likely to eventually put away the locket than Juri. She only knew Juri four days and isn't quite as fucked up as her. But then again, I could see her go on a similar quest to find Juri someday, like Utena did for her prince...but I don't think Juri will ever be in the position to be what she needs, even if she's healed and moved on. Because no real princes exist.

Then again, the fact Purple Pigtails was able to leave Ohtori at all means she was able to grow up and move on herself. She's accepted that her childhood was never what she thought it was...so maybe such a quest is unlikely. Maybe she will move on pretty quickly. Or maybe being obsessed with Juri means she will be welcomed back to Ohtori soon...

Anthy ending

My second favorite ending is the Anthy ending. The only reason it's lower than the Juri ending is that the washing each other's back scene is a little uncomfortable to watch, knowing Purple Pigtails has no trouble coercing sexual favors from Anthy. Whether this is all part of Anthy's plan or not, she is likely not enjoying this...and yet it's framed fairly comedically, which feels weird.

But otherwise? God it's perfect, so wonderfully absurd, so wonderfully Anthy. Her plan here is so elaborate and there are so many layers. There's also the question of why the hell she even did all this, which is so intriguing.

The way she's so direct with Purple Pigtails, her resentment and cynicism coming out, is great. Purple Pigtails is pretending she wants her, but she only wants power.

She also actively sabotages Utena in the fight in order get with Purple Pigtails. Why?

But after that, she also sabotages Purple Pigtails, deliberately keeping her up all night with uh. possibly sex, (again, uncomfy) to ensure she'll be too tired to concentrate the next day. But she does this so PP will lose to Utena even though Utena doesn't have a sword anymore.

Anthy played PP so thoroughly, but again, why? My theory when I first played this was Anthy was feeling guilty about her inevitable betrayal of Utena and was trying to get with Purple Pigtails, only to immediately realize there's no way PP could become a prince so she goes back to Utena.

But there are a lot of options. Maybe Anthy and/or Akio needed PP to be taken out. She was upsetting their plans somehow, so she needed to be defeated so humiliatingly she'd never try to get with Anthy again. It could explain why PP eventually left in the other endings, maybe she actually hadn't moved on, maybe Akio felt she was too much of a risk (possibly by how things got so complicated with Chigusa, too much of a distraction for the duelists) and kicked her out.

Or maybe this was all to test to find out where she was a prince candidate, and she was found wanting...considering you have to order rose tea as a prerequisite, this one's very possible.

It's all so fascinating. Maybe I should have put it as favorite...ok, let's say it's this and Juri tied.

Obviously this doesn't work out at all from Purple Pigtails Perspective. She becomes a supervillain, she's humiliatingly defeated, and she very well may be stuck at Ohtori for a long time...and fact she doesn't appear in the anime implies she's no longer friends with any of them. Maybe Akio made everyone forget about her. Maybe she was so bitter she rejected them all.

Utena's ending (Romantic Version)

(As a PS... it's very obvious the girls aren't allowed to kiss on the lips in this game, likely because of outside pressure, both Saionji and Miki get lips, while Utena and Juri do the princely forehead kiss (but you could also argue it's because they are the most "princely characters...and imitating the prince kiss is 100% in character for Utena. Also kissing a girl on the lips at this point in the story would pretty much short circuit Utena. Send her into such a lesbian crisis her heart might give out)

This ending is so sweet on the outside, but then you peel a layer back and see how fucked up it is. Utena very deliberately imitates her "prince" here, and that will someday horrify her, that she imitated Akio and got another girl obsessed with princes. And obviously that's very bad for PP too, since the thesis of Utena is the chivalrous prince who will save you is a lie.

Utena's words imply they will meet again and there's not a lot of outcomes that are good for that. One outcome is that PP goes back to Ohtori to find Utena, only to find she's already gone. But then Akio has a replacement Utena, right there. I'm not sure that would even matter, with Anthy gone, there's no way he can like, use her for anything...but he might take his anger at Utena and Anthy out on her. The better option is PP finds Utena in the real world, and sees that she and Anthy are officially girlfriends and have become healthier people. That might be good for her, actually--I'm sure Utena would encourage her to move on, find her own identity, and Utena would still want to be friends. Or she could ignore Utena andsink into bitterness and jealousy.

One of the most screwed up things about this ending is that PP basically loses her individuality and has become a copy of another person. It's not great for her that she's so wrapped up in Utena that it's her identity now. It's very sad just like it was with Anthy in the manga.

So no, I don't think this ending goes well for Purple Pigtails at all. She loses who she is, becomes obsessed with something that's just a false patriarchal idol, and that makes her vulnerable to Ohtori. Her only hope is finding Utena in the real world, and Utena making up for her past mistake.

Miki's ending

It was such a chore to get to this ending, but it's worth it for how funny it is. Purple Pigtails immediately deciding she actually wasn't in love with Miki after all (hint it's because she's a lesbian hint) and just. blowing him off, pretending she has a boyfriend back home. Legendary of her, and honestly Miki kind of deserves it. From his perspective it must feel like she really played with his feelings, though.

Because it doesn't exist, Miki!!! It was never real!!!!

She does say she "likes younger boys" after this, but that's just what she's telling herself. Someday she'll realize. Hopefully.

I think its interesting that Miki is the only one in this game who explicitly actually has feelings for her. He is able to move on from his sister (sort of. I mean at the very least iirc he never compares PP to Kozue that I can remember. Which is HUGE for him), but none of the rest can move on past their obsessions.

I actually think this works out pretty well for PP. She's not too attached to Miki, so she's unlikely to go back to Ohtori, and it doesn't break her heart to leave him, she's still herself, and I think she'll be able to move on.

Touga Ending (italicized since I haven't seen the whole route)

I haven't fully watched this route, so I don't know what it takes to get there. If I did it might affect my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. But while this ending is so mean and horrible, it is also so darkly funny. Touga distilled. He's such a asshole that it is impossible to get any thing positive from your ending with him even in a dating sim, and that's amazing. You think you've won but you lost. You lost the second you decided to date Touga.

Basically, Touga promises he will write PP every single day, and he will come visit her too, and she's ecstatic.

And then he goes and burns her address, calling her stupid, because of course he fucking does. Thus PP is totally ghosted, left despairing and wondering why.

It is also very interesting he's the only love interest she does NOT get a kiss from, unexpected since Touga has not problem kissing girls he does not give a shit about. Either he just, genuinely hates her guts THAT much or he's ---

ahhh shit. I just looked it up. You can have PP have sex with him. In fact you have to actively avoid it if you don't want to. So that's why he doesn't need a kiss. Her already got what he wanted. That actually makes this ending so much more heartbreaking, a lot of girls place a lot of importance on their first time, and PP was treated so cruelly with hers. This goddamn prick.

It is horrible, but it is exactly what I'd expect Touga to do (esp since this is set so early in the story) and I think it's incredible the game was so true to his character that you just get a straightforward unhappy ending when you date him. The others at least APPEAR a little happy, though they're quite sad when you think about them for long, but the game makes no pretenses with Touga. It just goes "no, you got nothing good out of this relationship, this man is trash, he played you like he does everyone"

Obviously this is pretty sad for Purple Pigtails, who gets manipulated and ghosted, and, depending on your choices, gets to have the lovely experience of a horrible older boy manipulating her, fucking her, and throwing her away at the tender age of 14. But, assuming she is able to move on (I hope so?) this might be happier than others for her in the long run (especially if she avoids having sex with him). Touga ghosting her means he won't be able to torment her further, and that's better than any other option with him. Unless, of course, she goes back to Ohtori to get an explanation...

Perfect Ending

I do like the perfect ending bc of the funny interactions the council get in--Juri teasing Miki about liking older girls and Miki getting extremely flustered, Touga being so fucking annoying especially when he insists on calling Saionji BEST FRIEND over and over until Saionji is like "can you shut the fuck up''...

The goodbye with Utena is fairly generic though, just the tiniest bit gay. One thing that is interesting for this ending is PP wanting to learn fencing.

It's ambiguous who she's talking about here, she could even mean Chigusa despite the fact she's deader than dead, or it could be "we don't know which person she's most attracted too ooooh".

As far as working out for Purple Pigtails? She escapes romantic trauma, which is great for her, but she seems really determined to go back to Ohtori in this one, and as has been said many times, that is not good for her.

Akio Ending

I considered rating this higher bc it's so funny how PP calls Akio on his bullshit.

But there's the fact that PP's particular Akio ending is even more uh, rape-coded than any other Akio car ride, IIRC? It's not only the fact she's underage, but she actively begs Akio to stop. But of course that motherfucker doesn't listen.

It's honestly so sad so that kind of ruins any fun. Which doesn't make it bad, but i don't like thinking about that part.

This is the second worst ending for PP. Just like the Black Rose and Anthy endings, she's still at Ohtori and has no friends, but there's the sexual assault aspect on top of that. She will be so traumatized, and on top of that she lost humiliatingly, while Akio basically called her worthless.

Saionji ending

Saionji's ending is both kind of boring and vaguely interesting. (And I'm ranking it like this on the assumption Saionji never hit her, which I assume he didn't from the Youtube comments. While he would definitely be cruel to a gf in multiple ways if she stuck around enough, I think it's possible the only person he would physically abuse while dating is Anthy. which is. something to analyze.) Saionji is (blessedly) silent during most of this ending. only saying "I owe you a lot" when he gives her the present (implying she's been kind of for caring for him, wet pathetic dog that he is, which does fit with the snippets I've seen of this route and echoes his relationship with Wakaba)

Saionji does give her his little leaf (apparently the only present he's capable of making?? like if he can carve this leaf he must know how to carve other things, right??? maybe it's just the carving he's best at) but PP knows he's too obsessed with Anthy (and Touga. the obsession with Anthy is just an extension of an obsession with Touga lets all be honest here) to return her feelings and they're both pretty honest and open about things. But THEN she claims she'll come back and make him look her way someday.. AND THEN she just plants one on him out of nowhere. Girl, you forget about consent!

Honestly Saionji just seems extremely confused and freaked out about it, even his expression afterwards, which makes me feel bad for him, something I'd never thought I'd say in my life. It's kind of interesting to see him like that. But...it doesn't stand out too much other than that. It's kind of just like. okay girl. calm down.

This one does not work out perfectly for PP since she seems pretty determined to come back to Ohtori and make Saionji love her, which is definitely never going to happen. But she doesn't lose her identity, doesn't get a pining locket, Saionji is surprisingly nice to her, unlike Wakaba she knows she doesn't have a chance right now, so she wasn't hugely disappointed...so it could be worse.

Utena Friendship Ending

Basically the same at the perfect ending, except we never get to see any fun interactions between the group. Boring.

Black Rose Ending

This one claims PP is obsessed with books, which has never come up in the game before, so it feels out of nowhere and like it wasn't properly developed. There's not much to dig into, when there should be. And her defeat is basically the same as the Akio endings, so it doesn't add much.

(Utena is being so mean here!!!! You know she's brainwashed why are you being an asshole about her skill!)

One the worst endings from PP's perspective, her mind is messed with, she literally has no friends, and she's stuck at Ohtori.

Game over

Obviously a Game Over is pretty boring. The game just ends. Bye.

I think PP would disappear from the world in the game over ending, just like Chigusa wanted. So this is the worst ending for her, she not only dies. she's erased from existence. At least in the other endings she gets to live.

(also I think either this one or the perfect ending are canon for the anime. The game over ending makes a lot of sense, since they would all forget PP and all that happened with her ever existed, and that would be the explanation for why she's never mentioned in the anime. But the more optimistic take is that the perfect ending is canon, and nobody ever mentions her because she just doesn't come up.

So there's my favorites ranked from best to worst.

NOW let's rank the endings from worst to best for Perfect Pigtails!

Game Over (she dies)

Akio Car Ending

Black Rose Ending

Anthy Ending (it's possible for her to have friends in this one)

Touga Ending (provided a) he has sex with her and b) she is unable to move on from what happened. Without those two factors though, it's under Utena's in the long run)

Utena Ending

Juri Ending

Saionji Ending

Perfect Ending

Miki Ending is the best one for her, weirdly! (Or at least my interpretation of it. She got out unscathed and has no desire to return to Ohtori!)

---

And those are my rankings! I hope everyone who read this far enjoyed the rambling.

[ellecdc]

Hiii congrats on your new job, we love a employed queen 🙌. I hope I’m not bothering you with requests my marauders brainrot is taking over. Could I please perhaps request headcannons and whatnot about the boys as dads, individually and/or the different polys you write for? If that’s alright, your latest fic brought this on I suppose 😭. Bye bye now lovely, enjoy your dayyy

marauders brain rot is taking over for me too babes, no worries.

James:

cries constantly. baby is upset? he's crying. baby is adorable? he's crying. baby learns something new? James is crying.

tummy time is daddy time because James is on his stomach in front of the baby too - his partner will make jokes saying that James and their five month old are working on their gross motor skills together

loves playing pretend; get's in arguments with the child if he doesn't think they're imagining 'properly' (his partner has to scold James for ruining the fun)

the dad-friend; kids will run up to the door to ask if your kid and James can come outside to play - plays manhunt, nickie nine-doors houses with the kids, is the best dad to go trick-or-treating with, his kids friends come over to hangout with his kids and him

cries at every single milestone: first steps, first word, birthdays, plays/awards or recitals or sports games etc, graduations, first dates, school dances etc

begs his partner the second his kids move out for more (regardless of how old they are at that point) "we can adopt! yeah? what about foster - why don't foster kids? please?!"

then he becomes a grandpa and the whole damn thing starts all over again

Sirius:

I see Sirius as a bit of a worrier - constantly in his head about what he's doing, if he's doing it right, if he's being a good enough dad, etc etc

stuck like glue to the kid the second they're born - takes night time feedings and every diaper change because he doesn't want to be absent like his dad (and maybe mother? probably had nannies in muggle AU or relied on Kreacher for child rearing) -> Sirius wants to be there for it all; he wants his child to know that their dad was there

does stuff with the kid that's a little too old for them lol - five month old wearing a leather jacket, buys a motorcycle helmet for a 1.5 year old (partner had none of it!), buys them their first bike at 3, etc

BUT then....as the child get's older - refuses to believe that they're that old. "a cellphone?! what do you need a cellphone for!? you're seven!" "dad, I'm 13." "since when!?!?!?"

definitely wants his kids to learn how to play an instrument (he doesn't even care which instrument; he just wants to share his love of music with them!) but doesn't want it to be a chore/burden like learning the piano was for him and Reggie (and many children world wide lol), so gently encourages through out their whole life and buys them any instrument they're interested in and let's them change their minds 700 times (even though it breaks his heart a little bit each time)

pretends not to cry when he sends them off to school (in kindergarten or college in muggle AU or Hogwarts)

cheers the loudest and most obnoxiously at all sports games/recitals/awards etc even if he has no fucking clue what's going on (OMG, I just thought - I used to work at a dance studio and he was be the best fucking dance dad!!!!!)

known as the cool/hot dad amongst his kids' friends

Remus:

so incredibly freaked that something this small and perfect could possibly exist - moves in slow motion for the first month of the babies life because he's afraid of dropping it or shaking it unintentionally

talks to the infant like it's a regular person/adult; running joke in the family (i.e., friend group) that the baby won't have a first word - they'll just one day start stringing full sentences

swears constantly in front of the kid - one of their first words is fuck which Sirius and James find hilarious and never let Remus forget it (and they actively encourage the kid to continue it too because they love to see Remus sweat every time it happens)

insists the kids know how to play outside and get dirty - (jokingly) admonishes them if they come inside after playing and don't have dirt under their finger nails.

loves to build forts (inside and outside) and I could see him liking to hike with the kids (nothing huge, but down to streams and such), teaches them to catch (and release) frogs, bugs, etc, they take pictures of bugs they find on their walks so they can look them up when they get home

reading, arts and crafts, paintings, etc

keeps every single painting and drawing they've ever made - keeps them in a filing cabinet organized by child, age, and type

if James is the fun dad, Remus is the chill dad; all the kids in the family go to him for advice, if they are in trouble (e.g., need a ride from a party that their parents don't know about), to complain about their own parents

never not telling the kids how much he loves them and how proud he is of them

Regulus:

runs immediately to James and Sirius for advice - does not want to be an apathetic parent

deep anxiety/lots of overthinking

very gentle and delicate with his babies - afraid of hurting them and finds them to be just the most precious little things...like they're sacred and need to be handled with the utmost care

keke & I headcanoned that his partner would often find him in the middle of the night playing the piano quietly with the baby laying on top of the piano to feel the calming vibrations if he got up with them

reads baby books and parenting books front to back like they're novels - takes notes, highlights, stickie notes etc

LOVES STRUCTURE - routine is so important to Regulus as a dad; his friends end up needing to learn his child's schedule in order to ever see Regulus

his kids may find him to be a bit more strict, but he's also a bit of a pushover; will buy his kids whatever they want - his partner ends up having to yell at him and tell him that he's going to raise spoiled brats....he buys them a diamond tennis bracelet to make up for it

works really, really hard to be different than his parents; Sirius tells him constantly that he's doing a very good job of it (and they both pretend that Reg doesn't cry about it)

Barty:

had a bit of a chat about this in this post, but basically...

the most hands on and involved dad to ever walk the earth - will not go to any place that isn't child friendly or catered to children

the most proud of everything that his kid does: sits up on their own? can hold their head up? holding a fork? knocks over a block tower? can point to their nose? He's fucking celebrating, like, throwing a party over it

I could see him being like an instagram dad - constantly taking pictures and bragging about how awesome/smart/cute/perfect his kid is (but his partner had to tell Barty to stop telling other parents that this meant their kids were inferior to his......even if they were)

get's faaaarrrrrr tooo involved with playtime, one of my mutuals made some really sweet comments on the post linked above that I might turn into a quick blurb

cannot for the life of him be bad cop - he thinks everything his kids do is awesome/spectacular (even the bad stuff) -> tries to play it cool in front of his partner/co-parent but will absolutely fold the second they leave or the kid's lower lip wobbles or the give him those doe eyes

most hated parent on the PTA [parent teachers association] but volunteers for everything - every school field trip, every bake sale etc

fucking ridiculous when his kids start dating - no one is good enough for them, pouty when the kids want to spend an evening or whatnot with their new fling instead of him

takes it as a personal offence (or at least acts like it) when the kids move out/go to college

what do you all think? any other head canons I should add to this list?

[saetgvia]

genshin boys when you’re sick

characters: lyney, wriothesley, gaming, xiao, alhaitham

established relationship, nicknames (sweetheart, missy, etc)

tw: mentions of food, mentions of snot (is that a tw??), lmk if i forgot anything

———————————————————————

lyney

- *sniffle* ‘GET INTO BED RIGHT NOW MISSY’

- cares abt u very much

- a lil TOO much sometimes

- he just doesn’t want you hurt

- so the moment you show signs of sniffling you’re magically transported to the bed to get some rest

- he will FAWN over you

- kinda frantic ngl

- cooking

- magic show to cheer u up

- ‘i know the medicine tastes bad, but it’ll help you get better’

- older brother mode ACTIVATED

- lynnette and freminet are so weirded out by their usually chipper brother being like… this

- will take care of u until u get better

- whatever you need, he has <33

wriothesley

- tea

- he makes u tea

- and is overall a funny person

- like lyney he’ll want you to get as much rest as possible and yk cook for u and stuff

- ‘i’ll use my cryo vision to make the cold leave your body!’

- gets sigewinne to check on you because he has a MELUSINE DOCTOR so ofc he’s gonna ask her to check on youu

- lots of forehead and cheek kisses

- always makes sure you take medicine!

- cuddles!!! to make you warm!!!

- yea <3

gaming

- cOOKS FOR YOU THE MOST

- i think all the boys would cook and clean and take care of you

- but NONE better than gaming

- except maybe thoma

- but we’re talking about GAMING here

- he knows like 50000 people so you can bet he’s calling in favours

- ‘hello? yes remember that time a killed a bunch of hilichurls for you? yea can you make me soup? my partner’s sick.’

- tries to keep your energy and spirits up

- walks to get fresh air

- unlike the others he doesn’t really want to keep you in bed all the time bc he knows it can get irritating

- so he’ll spend time with you :))

- does the chores so you don’t have to worry about them

- overall i love gaming gaming best boy

xiao

- ‘…tf’

- ‘[NAME] DON’T MOVE A SLIME IS POSSESSING YOu- oh. it’s called a cold? and your body mAKES SLIME TO KEEP IT OUT??’

- humans are weird

- poor boy doesn’t know what to do

- you can bet he’s feeding you almond tofu

- and going to zhongli and cloud retainer etc. for advice

- ‘i can kill demons and protect teyvat… but i can’t help you feel better’

- sad boi

- so ofc you comfort him and everything

- makes sure you take your medicine all!!! the!!! time!!!

- doesn’t wanna leave your side

- caring and slightly confused bf but so sweet :(

alhaitham

- he’s so calm

- lyney’s total opposite

- cooking, chores, he does the lot

- provides better alternatives than the store antibiotics and they help u get better so much faster

- rare unserious alhaitham moment he claims it’s his love

- maybe it is!!

- reading sessions together!!

- u both reading books or him reading to you

- such a perfect bf

———————————————————————

a/n: hope you enjoyed this one <33 smashed it out today after some depressing valorant LOL be back with more soon and pls reblog so more people can see my work!! my taglist is now open so if you want to join just drop an ask <3

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Summer Games BLgin.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Those Greeks did have that reputation for naked dudes rolling around together so I'm declaring it...

BL OLYMPICS!

I'll be passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates through mid August, just for funzies.

July 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - I guess mass murder is nothing next to having to raise funds for your basketball club. There were a lot of water sports in these eps (no not that kind). I’m not complaining. The street BB playoffs were fun. Frank is GOOD. I didn’t know he played. They aren’t using doubles for this. Meanwhile, it’s a bummer this one can’t be a poly romance. 

Winner!

Gold in Handball

for that shower scene in ep 9 (also... ya know, DUNK TANKS)

Balls in hands of all types.

Briefly must chat about that intro/outro music. It's like Thai autotuned Stray Kids. Which means I kinda adore it.

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 5-6 of 10 - I guess he’s had a long time to learn how to fight really really well. This is a fun show. It does occasionally feel like a bunch of gay boys playing dress up. I LIKE P’Third a lot. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be an actual baddie. I’m finding the music a little intrusive in these episodes. I love the deconstructed suits look, and the velvet blazer. Very 90s. The confessions scene was very cute. It’s a good thing Vee is so easy-going, because the last few months of his life have been truly insane. And now he’s queen of the castle? Still working his convenience store job?

I honestly thought we'd just get kisses halfway through not a full on sex scene. But it was very sweet and tender. Appreciated, boys, thanks. However it’s never a good sign when the sex scene is it at the halfway point, it just means there’s gonna be a lot of trauma to come.

(I gotta say every time Daou smiles he actually looks his age.) 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I like them now. I mean as a pair of characters. I wasn’t really sold on the main couple until this episode, and now I’m interested (yes I am shallow). The boy with the glasses is definitely sus. I’m quite drunk, thus I have to say Sailub is the hottest thing on my screen right now. Metas's taste in interior design sucks. OK, that physical therapy session was sexy. I wasn’t sold at first, but now I love this side couple too.

Argh. SailubPon kiss so well. Also COUNTER LIFT!!!! 

Silver in Weightlifting

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I’m the one who always says this stuff, but this pair might be the best at relationship heat. Let me try to explain. They are good at putting on screen the kind of NRE, want to bone, just really into each other physically and also connected and loving. It’s the way their bodies always arch towards each other. They’re very comfortable in each other’s space in a way that’s really rare to see out of Any BL country but Taiwan. I think they might be my favorite couple currently active. I don’t know how to put it except that

it looks like they want each other,

it looks like they like each other,

it looks like they’re into each other,

and it looks like they GET each other.

It’s nice to see on screen. The plots/stories/narratives that they're given aren’t doing them any favors, but man they’re a good pair. Meanwhile, was I screaming the whole time don’t rip the sample of the custom piece? Yes I was. But it was still sexy.

Sam getting discovered was fun! Yo is gonna burn his arse good.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Okay! Officially boyfriends. I almost like the friendship btw Atom and Mudmee better than the romances. But they all so cute. 

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I hate the gf intern so much. I think she is past redemption now - time for death. What is it they say about ADs? they do all the work, for none of the credit but all of the blame.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I guess Peak’s dad really is that awful. Jane is the beard? Got it. The show got suddenly quite sweet and complex. Where did that come from? Meanwhile ,Almond + Latte + sex education is awesome. Great trope we rarely get in BL. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Look, what’s really annoying me is that I am neither upset nor pleased with the show. I like to be driven one way or the other by Meme. Trash watch here. (delayed this week, I can't face it)

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 12 - Out the gate I don’t like it. I don’t really like the teasing thing and the acting is poor. That said, neck kisses in the very first episode do make me happy. So I’m gonna keep watching. As for ep 2, I like the sides, and we have gay brothers trope activated. I also like the paranormal element, it adds some much-needed tension, but it is still a little slow (typical of a pulp).

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like our poor lost puppy slowly figuring out what’s going on. It’s so elegantly done. Also, the the boy begs his quiet seme to SAY something, you know he’s gonna DO something instead. 

I could have done wihtout the pan around the head kiss. We over that, 8 years ago.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Why don’t I like this show? I had to think about it quite a bit. It’s the power differential. I never enjoy it when the character with less power is the one doing the pursuing, it comes off as too desperate or something. In this case he is: from the country, poor, and younger, It just makes Takara’s dismissive attitude and snobbery unpleasant to watch. Also, you know me, =/= obsessive stalker behavior. 

It's airing but...

Bad Guy (Korea YT) - yeah, erm, no thank you.

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) ep... - Great, a rich boy studying business at uni, suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I try to catch up next week.

I have a source, but I simply didn’t have time to watch it. So sorry. Too much traveling too much BL to keep up with. A perfect conflation of conflicting priorities.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

64.media.tumblr.com

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Up Next!

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return, and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: the premise? Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

8/4 Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Please Gaga pick this one up? They made it for US.

8/7 Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Weds ????) 8 eps - office romance around the makeup counter featuring a younger seme and sex by blackmail. I am intrigued. DFTUJ (don't fuck this up, Japan).

8/8 Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs WeTV ) 12 eps - I am so DAMN excited to see Big finally lead a BL. I can't even with this, one of my most anticipated of this year. He's a great kisser ya'll, he's kissed a lot of boys as second lead. I can't WAIT.

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

Addicted Heroin (Thailand adaptation) is also supposed to release this month. GIVE IT TOO MEEEEEE. I don't care about anything else but August back on my screen. It's been almost a decade since he did BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This week's adventures in caption "out of" and "off" are not the same thing. This is an uncomfortable thought.

I'm so tired I'm seeing double. This is all you get.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

Sports in Play (the jokes write themselves) )

Boxing

Breaking

(That's Not) Cricket

Diving (yes, for that)

Fencing (yes, with those)

Handball (exactly what it says, no, read the word.. again)

Rhythmic Gymnastics (obvs)

Squash (snicker)

Surfing

Swimming

Trampoline

Weightlifting

Wrestling

[maikissed]

cherry flavoured lips

Kylian Mbappé x reader

summary: he stole from her a few of cherry flavoured kisses. would she forgive him? warnings: bit of sexy times I guess?

I honestly love it, probably there will be more parts

She felt exceedingly excited, gazing out of every window she passed as she moved around the house, checking every few minutes to see if her friend has already arrived. She must have looked a tad silly, but she truly hoped none of her family members noticed her stoked trot through the corridors. She was standing in the kitchen now, observing her mother’s process of cooking, the woman’s talking surrounding her, but the words blurred and incoherent. Breath stuck in her throat as she could hear the front door opening, she hoped it was not her father. Straightening from the counter slowly, she watched Kylian’s tall silhouette entering the room and she smiled at his presence. It was not such a very long time since she has saw him last, but she was always dazed by every change in him she could notice every time they met. It was like he seemed taller every time, or broader? Or maybe a little bit older and more mature and collected, the boyish aura fading in him, his features more sharp, his gaze surer, harder and confident. She stood still, letting her mother to smother him first.

“Kylian! Salut!” older lady called, her fingers covered in flour so she leaned into him, greeting their guest with two gentle kisses on both cheeks. “How you’ve been, darling?” she beamed looking up at him.

“Bonjour. I’m good, thank you. Happy to see you well" he smiled brightly at the tiny woman, his heart warmed at the fond greeting and his eyes travelled behind her for a second, noticing his lovely friend standing with her hands joined on the countertop, simply observing his interaction with her mom.

“Oh, we are so happy you made it!” her mother added “The dinner is not even close to be ready yet, but I’m on it” she laughed, circling the kitchen counter to resume her previous activity with the big heap of dough. Kylian of course had to comment on how delicious was the smell of the stew slowly boiling on the stove.

It was just before y/n approached him to pull him in a tight hug. He let out a quick laugh of contentment as they swayed a little in their embrace. Her smell coating him, he missed it.

“Are you getting even bigger, or is it your new oversized clothes style?” she joked leaning away in his arms.

He frowned funnily at her question, her voice slightly sarcastic.

“You love my style” he acknowledged, smirking at the roll of her eyes.

“It’s debatable” she stepped away from him, slapping him playfully on the arm.

He followed her outside to the spacious terrace with a view on the elegant and well-kept backyard and family’s vast area of apple and cherry orchards further away. He always enjoyed spring and summer here - fresh and full of sun, and most importantly quiet. But before he could revel in the sight of the lovely countryside, his gaze rested on her silhouette before him. Her back to him, she was saying something about one of his games – she was most likely making fun of him as she enjoyed so much – but his mind didn’t pay much attention to it. He was hypnotized by the way the end of the flounce of her dress was fluttering delicately with her every move, the material high on her legs, the dress was rather short, a lovely one. It was a hot day, she had every right to dress as comfortably as she liked and he was in no position to ogle his friend so shamelessly. It was inappropriate.

She smiled at him as they sat down. Did she ask him a question? No, he didn’t think so.

“I love the taste of the smell here” he commented looking around to see if anything changed since his last visit.

“Oh, yeah? Dad has too much free time lately and planted marigolds around the corner. They stink awfully” she scrunched her nose in disgust.

“Really? I thought it was the scent of your new perfume” he shrugged and there was too much seriousness in his features but she knew he was being ironic.

“Oh, wow, really funny” she snickered at his comment and there was a sound of a gentle chuckle coming from him.

“How is your dad?” he asked.

It has been few weeks since her father had a bad stroke, it was not the easiest times of her family’s lives. It has been one of the most stressful ones, she has been worried like never before, but she had Kylian’s support, even from the distance, even when he had more important things on his own mind. She appreciated it greatly.

“He’s much better, still has some troubles with bad cramps and stiff muscles but he’s working on it. He is at the rehabilitation right now” she shrugged, calmer now since the worst was behind them.

“I’m glad to hear it” he smiled softly at her.

She bend her legs at the knees and placed them on the big patio armchair behind her. The weather was pleasant, even warmer days were coming, the vision of the upcoming holidays looked to be wondrous and she hoped they could use more time here as they used to as children. But they had more responsibilities and their own activities, so much less time for each other as they grew older. But she was happy they at least could still meet like this from time to time. They still managed to make it.

Suddenly the doors to the terrace opened with a thud and she spotted her little sister approaching them. Her long hair a little messy, there was a wide smile plastered on her face.

“Kyky” Fleur announced, more than called, and wrapped her hands around Kylian’s shoulders to hug him, a sweet kiss placed on his cheek.

Her sister adored him from her earliest days. It was no surprise at all.

“Hello Fleur, how are you?” Kylian chuckled, taking her hand in his as she graciously circled the couch and sat beside him.

“Very well. I’m finishing the school year so there’s still much work for me to do, but few more classes and I’m starting my well deserved holidays” she grinned gazing up at him, Kylian exchanged a little amused smile with y/n.

Fleur was exceptionally mature and well-spoken for a kid her age. It could be infuriating at times, since she revelled in being a smart ass with her nose always in her books, but Kylian pinpointed that Fleur was a spite image of her older sister. And there was much truth into it, but y/n wasn’t so keen on admitting that.

“I’ve missed you, really” she sighed “Not as much as y/n, I suppose, but I have. She was literally checking the driveway every five minutes with hope that you’ve arrived” she grinned mischievously, sending a dangerous look in her sister’s direction. Y/n frowned. Fleur was a very evil child.

“Right” y/n cut in acting carelessly “Lemonade?” she leaned into the little table between them to pour them some.

“Kylian, this is the best time for you to visit us” Fleur declared, changing the subject and sitting on her knees to face him comfortably “I have a very important essay for my French class and I need some inspiration” Y/n’s eyes shot up, very curious about what kind of inspiration would she need now. Something football or sports related? She doubted. “And since my sisters emotional range is the size of a grain of sand and her heart is hollow and dry as a desert, and most likely dead” she punctuated the last word “I have thought I must ask you”.

Y/n choked on her cold lemonade and Kylian laughed softly, his eyes a little wide when he looked at his friend.

“Fleur” she complained sending her a questioning look, but her sister acted like she did not notice at all.

“Alright, ask away” he encouraged, not very much prepared for the upcoming question.

“Have you ever been in love?” if y/n took another sip of her sour lemonade she would most likely choke herself to death.

Kylian’s smile died a little but was still present on his face. One of his knees jumped up lightly and he looked like he considered his answer. Fleur was serious, expecting an answer from him, matter of fact y/n was waiting for it as well.

“Yes” a clear answer. He was looking at Fleur. She nodded. Y/n’s gaze focused on his face, examining his expressions, reminiscing his past girlfriends.

“How many times?” she continued.

“Uh” he stammered a little “Once”

“Interesting” Fleur announced, a spark in her eyes as there seemed to be a process of deep thinking in her hard working brain “You’ve had girlfriends, as in plural. So it means only one of them was the object of your true feelings?”

“Fleur” now y/n chastised her sister for prying too much into Kylian’s personal life. She placed her glass back on the table.

“What? Those are just harmless questions!”

But Kylian cut in:

“Answering your question Fleur: not exactly”

“What does it mean?” she seemed excited turning her head back to look at him.

“None of them was the object of my true feelings”

This answer surprised y/n. She didn’t know what answer she expected, they never talked much about their love lives, mostly it was the time when they weren’t keeping in touch so frequently. It was an odd subject, they never really knew how they felt about each other dating people. But they accepted it, because they were best friends, they did not own each other exclusively.

“Now, that complicates all” Fleur sighed resignedly “How could you be with someone you don’t love?” she asked almost accusingly, making Kylian bit his lip with perplexity.

“It’s like you said. Complicated” he stated, his knee bounced up once again. His expression soft, his gaze landing on y/n for a split second. Their eyes met.

“This love you mentioned at the start…” Fleur still kept digging “You fell out of it or is it present still?”

“Okay” y/n called, her voice firm “Fleur you’re being nosy. Go write your essay now, it should be enough, this big brain of yours can surely make up the rest of it” she sent her a chiding look.

“See” she nudged Kylian “Dead heart” her voice almost a whisper now.

Kylian sent her a lovely smile before she stood up, Fleur added something about games night before she left them, but there was too much burden on y/n mind to focus on anything now. She took a breath and tried to mute the race of thoughts inside of her. Kylian seemed relaxed.

“I think it’s the best time for a walk” she started with a smirk “Wine or champagne?”

“In this weather, I’d say champagne” he answered calmly.

“Champagne it is” she stood up with intention to rummage through her father’s wine cellar.

They took off in the direction of the orchards, sun was about to set in about two hours, the evening aura of June coating them warmly as they strolled through the enormous tracts of cherry trees. The stillness and quietness of southern countryside brought him peace and calmness he yearned for amongst the noisiness and turmoil of all the cities he visited in just those last few weeks. Crickets chirping amongst the grass, frightened birds taking flight from the closest trees as they passed, some singing prettily in the distance. It was a lovely, cherished time. Any time they both stole something from the house they used to come here, to hide amongst the trees and talk, play and laugh for hours. At the beginning it was candy or ice cream before dinner, then beer and other alcoholic beverages as they grew older. Something to remember for years.

Now, a little tipsy from the alcohol they drank on their way here, they enjoyed each other’s presence. The bottle of champagne almost empty in Kylian’s hand. His head lighter, as he looked around, taking a big, cleansing breath. Y/n laughed about something and he looked at her, noticing her cheeks painted a sweet rosy colour. The most refreshing and calming amongst all those wondrous things was the sight of her. For him, she was a treasure, the most beautiful thing he could revel in. His fingers itched to grab her, touch her, make her laugh more, make her look at him like he looked at her.

“See?” she asked suddenly and he had to shake off this little trance that overtook him “Those are the sweetest in the season” she pointed in the direction of the cherry tree line on their right “But they ripen late in the summer. I guess you always have to wait a little bit longer for the sweetest things” she remarked looking his way over her shoulder, he smiled at her, she smiled back and blinked before taking few more steps ahead.

With a jumpy run she approached different trees on their left.

“But these…” she reached to pick some red fruit “Are ready for harvest”

He could not stop his eyes from falling lower, observing the hem of her white summer dress as she stood on her toes with her hand up. So high on her thighs, he could feel a wave of heat washing over him. He had to look away.

She run up to him, close, bringing one of the cherries to his lips.

“Try it” she encouraged.

“You know I’m not a fan of cherries. It’s too sour”

A delicate frown appearing on her face as she put the fruit in her mouth instead. She bit it, spatting the seed out to the side. Somehow this act fascinated him. She looked careless and content.

“They’re not so sour. Maybe just a tad, but they’re good” she added with her mouth full of more cherries and he watched, with his eyes wide open, as she licked her lips, now darker, painted burgundy by the cherry juice.

He could not tear his eyes from her lips, maybe she noticed, but he couldn’t care less. His heart started to beat ruthlessly against his ribs, blood pumping quicker in his veins. The thing he wanted most in the world right now was to taste this goddamned cherry, but straight from her lips. It almost made him dizzy. She placed the fruit on his lips once more and he parted them slowly, his gaze now meeting her big, almost dark eyes. She looked lower at his mouth and giggled sweetly.

“Don’t be afraid, it’s not poison, try” she almost whispered, a little bit out of breath, he noticed.

He smirked taking the fruit from her fingers, noticing another plump one unluckily crushing between her fingers, a trickle of juice flowed down her digit. It was difficult to fight it, in fact, he did not give it much of a thought as he quickly spat the seed out to the side and reached with his hand for hers, bringing it closer to his lips and with the help of his mouth and tongue cleaned the juice off her fingers. The most insane part of this act was the fact that he did not dare to look anywhere else except her eyes as he did it. It felt forbidden, could seem innocent, but with the thoughts and visions hiding behind the blackness of his eyes, it felt obscene and almost pornographic. And to add to it all she made a soft noise, hard to describe and depict but a lovely one, the prettiest one, the gentlest gasp that fought it’s way out of her. His head was spinning. He had to, he wanted to, he yearned to. So he did it. He closed the distance between them, placing his palm behind her head and kissed her on the mouth. For the shortest moment her body went rigid under his touch but he did not stop and could feel her relax short moment after. Putting his other hand on her hip he pressed on her to take a step back, guiding them both deeper into the trees, carefully pushing her against one of them. She did not fight him, he took it as a good sign and reassurance, that she would not push him away. Wreaking havoc sensations awaken inside of him, and the excitation urged him to do more. Her soft lips danced with his perfectly, the taste of cherries lingering between them, he grew impatient. He needed more taste. The tip of his tongue pressed against her lower lip and she invited him, she let him in, parting her sweet lips to let him take what he pleased. Another pretty sound made by her reached his ears and it felt like a deadly shot to his senses, he grabbed her waist firmly, his mouth turning ruthless and wanton, his thigh secretly slipping between hers. She moaned again into his mouth. Her hands on his nape and biceps, wandering, touching him, holding onto him.

“Most perfect way to taste the cherries” he whispered between kisses, his right hand travelled higher up her body.

He could feel many things, the warmness of her body radiating through the material of her dress, her chest rising and falling quickly, out of breath, her heart beating hard against his own chest, the rhythm of his and hers beating in sync, he realised. And she was kissing him back with the ferocity and urgency matching his. The earth shook underneath their feet. Kylian turned more bold, pressing his knee higher between her legs as well as his hand that rested right under one of her breasts. He stroked it gently with his thumb and could feel her tremble in his embrace. How far would he go? How far would she let him? He was driven by wicked and untamed needs and sensations. And finally his thigh met the apex of her legs and she jumped, a feverish moan of hers followed.

“Kylian…” she whispered against his lips, a plea, he felt ecstatic and groped her breast, she writhed against him “Kylian, stop” she breathed.

But he didn’t want to stop, it was the last thing on his mind. He wanted it all. He wanted her. He wanted to blend into her. It was the first time he heard his name coming out her lips in such manner.  

“Oh” she whined when he pressed his thigh harder up in contact with her clit “Please, stop, we can’t” against his hungry lips.

She wasn’t trying to push him off her, her body was letting him to continue, but her words finally reached his consciousness and it awoke him. A protest was coming from her and it would be a tremendous mistake for him to ignore it. He stopped, leaning away from her and slowly opening his eyes, his hands still lingering on her shaken body. The sight he met was even more blissful than his dreams, her eyes wide and sparkly, hair lightly dishevelled, her skin flushed and deliciously radiant and her beautiful lips, swollen and reddened – the remnants of cherries and his kisses. But she said that they can’t and he blinked remembering the sound of these two words. What has he done?

She moved against the tree, something close to fear and insecurity visible in her eyes and he tensed, worried that he did something unforgettable. But she enjoyed it as much as he did, he could feel it. She looked away from him and his heart fell, with a gulp he watched her palm delicately resting on his chest. She tried to push him away, he could tell, but she did not put any force into it. So he made this task easier for her, stepping away a little, giving her space.

“The dinner must be ready now” she simply declared, her voice hoarse, her gaze distant, he frowned in disbelief.

Was she planning to act like none of this happened? He was out of words. Hurt.

“We should go” she stepped away, passing him and he huffed.

“Y/n, we should talk about it” he called but she seemed to not have any intention to turn or wait for him “Y/n, I’m sorry!”

Yet she fled from him. Just like that.

[sydnikov]

saw you were asking about requests and if that’s still the case: something hurt/comfort where the reader is comforting svech when he finds out he has have to surgery, and helping him through the recovery process.

either established relationship or a feelings realization maybe? whatever you’re most comfortable with.

In Five || A. Svechnikov

Author: Sydney / @sydnikov

Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov/Reader

Word Count: 6.7k

Warnings: Cursing (mild this time), sports injury (torn ACL/ligament), steamy kissing, bad proofreading, so much angst, but don’t worry there’s fluff at the end

A/N: I really tortured myself writing this. The emotions are still high, I hate the Bruins (sorry Bruins followers), and I hope you guys get all the feels as you read this. In all seriousness though, THANK YOU to whoever sent this in because it got me out of my writer’s block. (p.s. I’ve now opened requests to get me more inspired… so go submit stuff!!) anyways, I hope y’all enjoy 😁

It wasn’t bad. Not at first glance—at least that’s what you told yourself from the stands, clenching your fingers so hard they left nail indentations in the middle of your palms.

But you knew. You knew your best friend because you could read him like a book. Every twitch of the eye, a quirk of his lips, they all were a glimpse into his mind of what he was thinking. Andrei is your favorite book, and you just reached the chapter where everything starts to fall apart.

He was trying to hide it, the pain he was feeling from the quick stumble he took at center ice. It was just a small muscle pull, though, right? That’s what you thought, but then you saw him skate to the bench, favoring his right knee with the expression of one who knew he messed up.

Andrei played the rest of the game, but as you headed down to the locker room you couldn’t fight the feeling of dread steadily creeping up your heart.

“Hey,” you greeted a few of the girls leaning against the wall, waiting for their significant others to finish interviews. You were sort of an outcast in that manner, because Andrei wasn’t yours… No matter how much you wanted him to be. “Has he come out yet?” you asked.

The solemn shake of their heads gave you your answer, and you didn’t even bother trying to hide your worry when you leaned back against the wall with them, anxiously chewing your lip. The time came and went, seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to an hour of watching the other Hurricanes players come and go—none of them the man you wanted, no needed to see.

It was times like these where you questioned how you got here, waiting on Andrei like a girlfriend but being firmly stuck in the friend zone. He had never made you feel like anything less because of it, but you felt it aching in your very bones when he’d flash a smile to the girls at the bars you frequented, or when he’d ask you whether the blue shirt or the red shirt would look better on a date with the cute girl he met at a shopping mall.

It was funny, too, because you hadn’t met him any differently than he’s met the other girls he’s taken out. It was at a bar, actually, one in downtown Raleigh not too far of a drive from PNC Arena, and you were nursing a drink with a few friends from work when the place exploded in activity because players from the Carolina Hurricanes had just arrived.

You didn’t ask “who?” like one of your coworkers asked, because you loved hockey and went to a decent amount of games, and you could confidently answer which player had which number. In one game you’d even managed to snag glass seats, and that had been the best night of your life.

Never had you actually met any of the players, though. Odd, considering you had always made it a habit to go out at least once on the weekends, but one fateful Saturday night was when you finally were able to get a good look at the players outside of their hockey uniforms. You were content to merely watch them from a distance, but soon you realized they were just like any other regular bar patrons and soon lost interest in eyeing them a few tables back.

It was as you were ordering another drink that you caught from the corner of your eyes a body settling down on your right, too close to be convenient because there were other open seats far from you. You hadn’t been looking for a hookup that night, though, so you figured playing hard-to-get might ward off any men looking for a quick one-night stand.

“Hi,” the man suddenly spoke, accent too thick to be attributed to intoxication. A foreigner? You met his eyes, your gaze colliding with warm brown that reminded you of the hot chocolate you’d buy to keep your hands warm in the winter. “Drink not up to standards?” he said, leaning against the bar counter to get a better look at you.

Your brain had short-circuited, because wow this guy was good-looking, and it only took another minute of analyzing his features with your tipsy brain to realize you were talking to Andrei Svechnikov, or rather, he was talking to you.

“Not much of a drinker to begin with.” you had replied smoothly, shocking even yourself because talking to attractive men had never been a strong suit. “What about you? What do you drink?”

You and Andrei, who had later introduced himself and to which you responded with a cheeky quirk of your lips, “I know”, had hit it off immediately. You talked for hours that night, unable to shake the undeniable chemistry you had between you until one of your friends ran into you slurring her words and stumbling in place that signaled your outing time was up.

You exchanged numbers that night, and unbeknownst to either of you, your hearts were beating in tandem for days after, and brains spiraling with ‘what ifs’ and ‘I think they like me’. Unfortunately… It had never gone beyond that, because communication was hard to begin with for Andrei without the added challenge of having to speak English, and well–past relationships have made it a little hard for you to put your trust in people.

So, here you were. Confidently able to say that Andrei was one of your closest friends who you just so happened to be in love with, but knowing it would never go beyond that. You’d rather have Andrei in your life as a friend than not at all, right?

That’s what you told yourself when you finally heard the familiar sound of Andrei’s deep voice from the locker room, coming closer and closer as the distance between you decreased.

“No, no,” Andrei said, firmly, finally making his appearance. “No hospital. I feel fine.”

“Son, you’re favoring your knee. You need to go, now.” Head Coach Rod Brind’Amour marched in right behind the left winger. “I let you wait out the rest of the game, that’s what we agreed.”

Andrei remained in place, stubbornly glaring at the older man with the two looking like raging bulls getting ready to charge the other.

“‘Drei?” you finally found the courage to speak, hesitantly stepping forward and breaking the heated glare between the two men. You didn’t even notice until now that the athletic trainer was waiting behind them, phone held to his ear. “What’s going on?”

Immediately, the Russian’s eyes whipped towards you and he stepped back from Rod immediately. He said your name in slight confusion, even embarrassment at being caught in the metaphorical pissing match between him and his coach.

“I—” he licked his lips, struggling to find the words in English. “My knee. It is… Messed up.”

“Messed up?” you said. “What do you mean?”

That’s when Rod popped in. “He took a bit of a stumble on the ice, it didn’t look too serious at first but his knee is hurting.” He turned to glare at Andrei. “He can barely stand on it.”

Andrei clenched his jaw, attempting to shift his weight onto his right knee, but he could barely manage to stand before his face twisted up in pain and he had to use the wall to balance himself.

You stepped up to the Russian, worriedly wringing your hands together before stilling them to grab your stubborn friend's arm. “You’re too stubborn for your own good,” you smiled wryly, attempting to mask your worry with a small tease.

Andrei towered over you, but his size had always made you feel safe rather than scared, and that applied to now, roo. “I am fine, darling,” he murmured the pet name in Russian, his voice matching the softness of his eyes he could never hide when looking at you. Sometimes he’d speak in his native tongue in front of you because he knew you didn’t understand, and the scowl on your face afterward always made him laugh.

But, even though he was definitely not fine, he could barely take having to bother his teammates and coaches with his issues, nonetheless you. He didn't want you to see him so weak, at least not like this.

“My knee is just stiff. Sore.” he shot a look towards Rod, who up until this moment had been staring at the wall to give the two of you privacy. “It is not that bad, I am sure of it.”

“Then you’ll go to the hospital to get it checked out since it’s ‘not that bad’.” Rod deadpanned, finally breaking the bubble of tension that always seemed to surround you and Andrei when together.

“I agree with him, Andrei,” you said, placing another hand on his arm to gain his attention. “You need to get it looked at, at the very least.”

You gave him your best puppy eyes, peering up at him as he stood over you. You could see the hesitation on his face, knowing his protesting was mostly because he hated bothering others with his problems.

“If not for your career, do it for me?” you said, attempting to bring back his smile by poking him in the chest. “Please?”

A moment of silence, you staring at Andrei and Andrei staring at you…

“—fine.”

He agreed, but his knee was not fine as he said it was. It was bad because it wasn’t actually his knee that had been causing his pain, but rather a torn ligament connected to the knee that turned out to be the ACL in his right leg.

And Andrei was devastated. You weren’t allowed to be in the room with him while they checked him out because he needed an MRI, but Martin and Seth were and it was them who came up to you in the hallway, grim looks on their faces as they broke the news. You could hear the raised voices of both Andrei and Brind’Amour shouting from the room.

You couldn’t see Andrei’s face, but you felt your heart breaking for him anyways as the doctor probably told him how long his recovery would take, the physical therapy he would need to endure, and the amount of time he wouldn’t be able to play hockey for.

“Nine months,” Andrei said, angrily typing away on his phone to his brother, Evgeny, probably. “Maybe six if I am lucky.”

You remained silent, watching him from the kitchen counter at a loss for words. You had offered to drive Andrei home, unofficially taking on the role of caretaker since Martin lived with his girlfriend and Seth was, well… Seth.

Andrei was on the couch, dressed in an old Hurricanes hoodie with shorts, his right leg propped up on a stool wrapped in a temporary cast. His face was flushed, and his hair messy from all the times he had run his hands through it. You knew he was in pain, both mentally and physically, but it really was unfair how he still managed to look so attractive all throughout.

Leg cast and all included.

“Is that what the doctor said?” you asked, finally gaining the courage to speak as you crossed the room. You carefully sat on the couch next to him, not wanting to jostle his leg.

The Russian dropped his phone on his lap, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes before gazing at you with determination. “Yes. But I’m going to be better in five.”

You finally cracked a smile, there’s the ‘Drei you knew and loved, your first one since hearing the news and bringing him back to his house. Andrei couldn’t help but grin, feeling the fondness for you in his heart grow. You were so good to him, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to keep his feelings to himself while you stayed with him.

He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t mind having you stay with him for the rest of the year, though. Andrei was selfish, and he was also possessive, so he liked having you to himself. He considered Martin and Seth and Sebastian his good friends, his teammates, his bros if you will, but you were his. His best friend, his best girl—you were the only one he wanted, and maybe this new living situation would give him the opportunity to finally tell you.

Andrei just hoped you felt the same. He wouldn’t be able to stand losing you because he couldn’t keep his heart under control.

“Well, you know I’ll be here to help you get through it.” You stated with conviction, reaching over to give his hand a squeeze and your heart beating all the while.

You held your unspoken promise, especially on the day of his surgery a little less than a week after his prognosis. It was an early surgery on a Thursday morning, and you even called off work so you could be at the hospital with him when he woke up.

You already knew most of your friends and family were wondering why you were putting so much effort into caring for someone who was just a friend, and if you were being honest you didn’t have much of an answer to give them. They had a point after all, right?

You and Andrei were just friends. That was it. You may be in love with him (now more than ever), and you definitely omitted that little detail during past conversations, but still. Friends move in with each other to help recover from big injuries all the time.

This time with Andrei was no different, and you had to repeat this mantra over and over again in your head as the anesthesia slowly wore off and his eyes were so soft and droopy, mumbling his words and his accent was thicker than ever and your heart was beating so fast it was going to jump out of your chest–

“Thank you for being here with me,” Andrei slurred, gazing up at you with those warm, half-lidded eyes.

You grabbed his hand, gently, lacing your fingers together and squeezing once. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Andrei squeezed back once before losing consciousness, his eyes closing and his head lolling back against the pillow. “That’s normal, right?” You asked the nurse, who was busy writing on a clipboard. She only had to look up once to take in the situation before responding.

“Everyone responds to anesthesia differently. Your boyfriend is just one of many who has to sleep it off.”

You felt your stomach drop, your eyes widening only slightly at the nurse’s casual use of ‘boyfriend’. Of course, that’s what you and your best friend must have looked like to her, right? You, holding Andrei’s hand, and he gazing up at you like you hung the stars and the moon.

It was probably just the drugs in his system. Definitely.

Andrei was cleared to leave the hospital the next day, and you heard the news from the group chat you, Martin, and Seth were in. It was comically titled, ‘Andrei’s bobble-leg’, courtesy of Seth, of course, and it was essentially just the three of you coordinating who has Andrei duty on the days you weren’t able to be with him.

Unfortunately, the day he was able to go home was the day you had to be back at work, so Martin and Seth left their morning skate early to drive him home. And so, here you were now, finally off from work and driving down Capital Blvd road to Andrei’s home.

Martin, Seth, and surprisingly quite a few of the players were already there when you arrived. You knocked on the front door before letting yourself in, curiosity written all over your face as you walked closer to all the noise.

Happy shouts of your name rang across the room when you appeared in the doorway, and your face flushed red in embarrassment at all the eyes suddenly upon you. “Hey guys,” you said, eyes scanning around the room looking for the only man you really cared about.

Finally, you found him. Andrei was seated on his couch, leg safely propped up on the ottoman and wrapped in tight bandages and a brace. He had an Xbox controller in his hand, the video game he was previously playing on pause.

“How was work?” Sebastian asked from the right of Andrei, also holding a controller. There were several bags of chips laid out across the ottoman, and both men were currently snacking.

It was probably against their diet, but you weren’t going to be the one to tell them that, especially Andrei.

“Work,” you finally responded, rather dry. Most of the population, including you, unfortunately, were not lucky enough to play the sport they loved as their job.

A few chuckles and about an hour later, everyone began packing up to leave. Somehow, you had gravitated toward Andrei during this time of catching up with his teammates and ended up on the couch next to him, on his left. His arm was casually strewn across the back of the couch, fingertips playing with the ends of your hair and occasionally brushing against your neck, sending shivers up your spine.

You liked to pretend it was just you harboring feelings for him sometimes because it was less scary, but every day that fantasy was getting harder and harder to live… Especially when you would turn your head to catch a peek at his side profile, and he was already staring as if knowing the effect he had on you.

“How’s your leg feeling?” You asked once you heard the front door shut, signaling the exit of the last guest. It was silent other than the TV playing softly in the background, it having changed from Call of Duty to a rerun of Friends some time ago.

Andrei sighed, attempting to hide his emotional turmoil with a smile. Bringing his arm down from the back of the couch, he tentatively rested it on your shoulders, gauging your reaction before bringing you to his side. He’s been an affectionate person since you first met him, so you were used to the random hand-holding or hugs, but it still never failed to make you long for something more.

He patted his leg gently, careful not to disturb it from where it rested. “Hurts. But that is to be expected, no?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it can’t suck.” You said, your voice nothing more than a murmur. You rested your head against his shoulder, tugging at a loose string on one of your sleeves.

The hockey player didn’t respond, instead, he placed one of his big hands on your shoulder and squeezed, a sign he at least heard your attempt at reassurance. Time passed quickly like this; Friends continued playing, as did your position tucked into Andrei’s side.

You felt at peace, and while he didn’t say it with words you could tell the Russian beside you felt the same. Hopefully, the next few months of healing will just fly by.

And they did, at first. But even though the Carolina Hurricanes were missing one of their star players, the games must go on. His teammates went out on the ice, each and every one of them feeling Andrei’s absence keenly.

You felt it too, as the Boston Bruins scored their fourth and final goal of the night, winning the game in a shootout. The hope immediately dissipated within your chest and in rose frustration and disappointment to take its place, but you were sure that was nothing compared to what Andrei was feeling beside you.

The entirety of the game, your hand was wrapped in Andrei’s, his squeezing down when the Bruins scored their first goals in regulation and releasing to clap when we were finally able to tip the puck in. Then the team came back in the third period—you weren’t sure what Brind’Amour had said to the boys during the second intermission, but whatever he said had worked.

The Hurricanes had been controlling the puck in the Bruins’ zone, something they had failed to do in the first two periods. They were passing, aiming, shooting, scoring, first by Skjei in the corner of the net and then by Aho on a tight pass from Martinook that slipped right past Swayman’s shoulder.

It was looking so good because Andersen had finally gotten his head in the game and the defense had stepped up, but then we went past overtime scoreless, and then to the fateful shootout.

You had felt the anxiousness from every fan in the arena. If anyone was an avid Hurricanes watcher, including you, they knew shootouts had never been this hockey team’s strong suit.

Andrei’s frustration was palpable next to you. His left leg was bouncing up and down for the entirety, and you could see the muscles tensing and untensing in his right leg as if he had wanted to move. It only got worse when Brind’Amour sent Burns out first, something that had you, Andrei, and every single Hurricanes fan in the arena watching on in confusion.

“No, no,” you had heard the Russian mutter from next to you. “Why is he sending Brent? He needs to send Fishy, or Turbo—” the words then died in his mouth as Brent missed as everyone knew would happen, and sadly Teuvo, who went out next, did too.

Unfortunately for us, the Bruins had good goal-scorers. Coyle had slipped the puck past Andersen, as did DeBrusk, and then it was done. Game over. Just like that.

You finally turned to face the man next to you just as his head fell into his hands, tugging at his hair and messing up the gel you forced him to put on because no, Andrei, you can’t show up with bedhead. He was muttering words you couldn’t understand, most likely the creative Russian curses you heard him say on occasion.

If this game had been hard to watch for you, you couldn’t even begin to imagine how Andrei was feeling.

“‘Drei,” you said, tentatively. “Are you—”

“No. Don’t.” He snapped, rubbing at his eyes before unsteadily rising to stand. His right leg shook, but he refused the arm you held out and didn’t dare to look in your eyes to see what look they held. As he tried to reach for his crutches, his leg buckled from underneath him, and this time you ignored the hurt of him lashing out to put your arms around his back to steady him.

“Can we— Is it okay if…” he struggled to speak, his accent thick with emotion as he struggled to find the words. Andrei had never been good at communicating when upset, literally, because everything always came to him in Russian naturally, and this time was no different. “Leave? Can we leave?”

“What about—”

“No. No team. No reporters.” he said, digging his fingers into the back of his jersey you were wearing.

You softened, gently maneuvering your body so you could face him better. Now you were chest-to-chest, your arms still wrapped around his midsection to keep him steady. “What do you want then, Andrei?”

“Home,” he murmured. “Home. With you.” he wasn’t able to convey it right at this moment, but his heart was pounding as he said the words. To him, to anyone in his culture, this was the closest he could come to expressing his love without outright saying it.

He found he wasn’t scared about finally admitting this out loud, either, because you were his home. Everything about you was home because he wouldn’t dare let anyone else except his brother and mama see him so vulnerable.

Of course, you were oblivious. He normally found it cute, but right now he wanted to shake you because all he wanted right now was to hold you in his arms and kiss you as he found comfort in your presence.

“Okay,” you finally whispered, the double meaning of his words flying right over your head. But something emboldened you, gave you the courage to raise your hands to his shoulders so you could reach up and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, right next to the corner of his lips.

“Let’s go home, ‘kay?”

The ride home was silent, comforting even despite the rough loss the team took. By the time you finally managed to get to the car, the two of you were struggling to keep your eyes open and also keep your hands off each other. Andrei tangling your hands together, you gently leaning against his side…

It was all surface-level, neither wanting to speak the words out loud but yet not wanting to sacrifice the innocent, physical intimacy you found with each other. This was all racing through your mind the closer you got to Andrei’s house, and you were almost positive he was thinking the same.

Andrei, in fact, was actually contemplating the one-hundred different ways he was going to kiss you, if he ever gets to that stage with you. He was currently facing the window but left enough room at the corner of his eyes to take little peeks at you, only fuelling his determination to do something about the tension between you.

And, yeah, maybe he was hyperfixating on you to distract him from the fact his team lost and if he was down on the ice he knew he would have been able to fix it, been able to score. His emotions had skyrocketed since the game ended, and everything felt so much more intense than usual.

Maybe that was just the pain medication he was on, though…

After you finally arrived at Andrei’s house, it took a little bit over an hour to finally get yourselves ready for bed. The problem? Neither of you were ready for any sort of sleeping, and you both knew it.

Currently, Andrei was leaning back into the couch, his right leg once again propped up on the ottoman and a blanket haphazardly thrown over his lap. You were next to him, legs comfortably tucked underneath you with a few inches of space left between you and Andrei.

There was half a family-sized bag of Doritos in between you that he said was in his pantry, so you were both currently snacking on them while watching the NHL channel. It was quiet other than for the TV, for neither of you were speaking a word for fear of breaking the thick silence between you.

The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife, and what made it even worse is that you didn’t think Andrei even noticed. He was wrapped up in his phone, most likely watching the game recap because his face was twisted up and his whole body seemed tense.

You shoved another Dorito in your mouth. Fuck. You were so, so screwed. You needed to get it together before you said something you regretted, especially since you had temporarily become his roommate.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore and spoke. “Andrei?” you said, hesitantly looking towards him.

“What?” he responded after a moment, not taking his eyes away from his phone.

Now you felt uncomfortable. Before, in the arena, he was looking at you like he loved you, but now he was snappy and tense and worse than normal because his team lost without him being able to play.

Picking at the skin around your nails, you attempted scooting down the couch before just giving up and moving to stand. “Nevermind,” you said with a mutter, feeling withdrawn and defeated. If he didn’t want to open up to you, fine, but you didn’t deserve to have him take out his frustration on you.

At least, not like this.

Andrei didn’t even respond, furthering your feelings of bitterness towards the man you had so many feelings for. Wrapping your hands in the long sleeves of his hoodie you were still wearing, you shuffled down the hallway and into the guest room you claimed as your own.

You could still hear the TV playing in the background, but that was the only sound in the otherwise silent house. You blinked the frustration from your eyes and crawled underneath the bed sheets, scrolling on your phone until you fell into a dreamless sleep.

Hours passed of restless tossing and turning, and then suddenly it was three in the morning and you were being woken up by countless knocks on your door.

“The fuck?” you muttered sleepily, crawling out of the cocoon of blankets you were in to answer your door. For whatever reason, your sleep-addled brain wasn’t able to comprehend that it was probably Andrei on the other side. “Andrei?” you said, confused as the Russian leaned against the wall.

He looked rather sheepish, slightly embarrassed. His hair was ruffled, and the TV was still playing so he probably fell asleep on the couch.

“Oh, shit,” you said, suddenly realizing that he was probably here because he needed help. Of course. That was all it was. “I’m such an idiot, sorry,” you breathed, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you stepped out of the room. “C’mon, I’ll help you get in bed.”

Andrei stopped you with a hand, opening and closing his mouth as he struggled to find words. “No, that is not it.” he finally settled on.

Okay, now you were curious. “Huh?”

“I am sorry.”

What?

“For what?” You asked, staring up at him wide-eyed. You were honestly too tired for a heavy conversation like this so you were struggling to keep up.

Andrei swallowed the lump in his throat. His leg was currently throbbing, but it was nothing compared to the throbbing in his heart as he looked at you. Your hair was all over the place in the most endearing way, and your eyes were droopy in a way that told him you were just sleeping.

“For not treating you right, for—” He cut himself off, sighing in frustration. Why was English so complicated? If only you understood English. “English is stupid.” he muttered, then released a big sigh and steeled his resolve.

Stepping closer, he brought the two of you chest-to-chest and brought his arms to cage you against the wall.

And you, you meanwhile, let out the most embarrassing noise possible when he suddenly got close, and then Andrei was everywhere and nowhere all at once. His body was trapping you in, and while your senses were on overdrive you strangely enough didn't feel like fleeing.

“Andrei?” You squeaked, sinking further into the wall if it was possible. Your eyes dropped, finding the center of his chest to firmly set your gaze. His eyes were so dark, intimidating, and swimming with an intention you were nervous to find out. “What are you doing?”

“Look at me, please?” A large hand smoothed against your skin, gently tilting your head up. Your eyes automatically locked with his, and the emotion on his face had you gasping. “There’s my girl,” He said.

Okay, yeah, your body was frozen, the breath leaving your lungs in a torrent of sharp breaths. This… This was new territory, for the both of you, and you couldn’t help but wonder how Andrei looked so calm while you looked like a startled deer—an unattractive one, at that.

He started speaking, heart thundering while the words poured from his throat like warm, melted butter. “I’m in love with you. You are my person, I knew from the very first moment I saw you in that bar so many months ago. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but tonight, having you next to me… You’ve always been next to me, and I’ve taken advantage of that. Darling, I want to make up for all the times I never kissed you senseless, and I want nothing more than to have you as mine, and I yours.”

Your favorite music, your favorite voice, words so filled with emotion and yet you couldn’t even understand him as he looked at you like you were his sun, and he a plant desperately seeking your warmth. Andrei had only spoken in Russian a handful of times in front of you – most being curses or quips exchanged with Pyotr – and never had he spoken so much of it.

You’d always thought Russian was rather harsh. The sharp whistles, clicks of the tongue, hissing of certain words; you admired anyone who could speak it, but it had never been an easy language to listen to you. But, when Andrei spoke Russian… It was soft, almost musical, and expressive to the point you felt like you could understand the very subject at hand if you thought about it. Maybe you were just biased, but you swore you fell more in love with him every time he spoke it.

“No words?” he said, a grin on his face that made you realize you’d maybe been silent for a little too long.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You were breathless— literally.

“I show you, then, what I said,” Andrei brushed his fingers against the side of your neck, almost fully grasping it as he gently brought you closer. You had no complaints, though. “Yes?”

He said your name again, looking at you with those warm eyes so full of depth they hypnotized you and had you nodding yes, almost instinctively.

Andrei sucked in a breath, tightening his grip on you only slightly as he slid his hand around the back of your head. Your lips were slightly parted, shiny and red from where you’d been biting them previously, and that cupid’s bow that always drove him crazy when you smiled was quirked upwards as if it was asking him to kiss you.

He waited a moment, stared into your eyes, his fingers merely a whisper of a touch against your cheek, and finally took the leap. The first touch of his lips was shy, testing, but then you whimpered with need and tugged at his shirt to bring him closer and Andrei had an internal moment of fuck it where he realized just how crazy he was for you. Pressing you into the wall, he nipped at your bottom lip and was granted entrance with a gasp drowned out by the sound of his own groan. He put every ounce of his passion and love and relief into this kiss as if trying to convince you to stay because this, this here? It was worth it—you were worth it. Fireworks, electricity, butterflies, and everything all at once was igniting in your gut and caused you to let out a pathetic whimper the moment your lips finally detached. He was clearly skilled at this, wholeheartedly controlling the moment as his lips left a trail of kisses down your neck, nipping at the skin that met your collarbone.

“‘Drei,” you gasped, clutching the hair right at his scalp – when did you move your arms around his neck? – as he sucked a mark under your jaw. “Hm?” he hummed, not stopping with his ministrations.

“What,” you said, throat dry and raspy as you tried to speak over the sound of your beating heart. “What did you say— oh,”

Andrei’s grin was almost feral as he drew the beautiful sound from your lips. “Found it,” he said, voice full of pride as he brushed his fingers against the newly-found sweet spot on your neck.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed his head in between your hands, bringing his head to yours so you could press a quick, affectionate kiss to his lips before pulling back to gather your thoughts because you had a lot of them.

Andrei pouted the moment you pulled him away but respected your boundaries and merely rested his hands on your waist to keep you close. He said your name gently, his tone bordering on questioning. “Did I… Did I push too far?” he said.

“No, no, not at all,” you rushed to correct him, already having caught the guilt in his eyes. “I just want to know what you said earlier, before you— you know.” It felt almost taboo to say ‘before you kissed the life out of me’, not wanting to break this delicate balance you found yourself in.

The Russian hummed, already catching on to your bashfulness and deciding to tease you for it. “No, darling, I think you need to remind me,” he brought a hand up to loosely wrap around your neck, the contact keeping you grounded. “On what I did before what?”

“Andrei,” you said, immediately dropping eye contact as your face flushed red. “You’re being a tease,” you muttered.

He dipped his head, brushing your lips together as he spoke. You felt his breath against your skin and had the sudden desire to taste him again. “I can do this all night, but the question is can you?”

You gave up at that because the moment he spoke he drew back and you couldn’t stand the feeling of not having him close to you anymore. “Andrei,” you sucked in a breath. “What did you say before you kissed me? In Russian?”

“I love you,” Andrei didn’t miss a beat as he crept his other hand farther up your waist. “That is mostly what I said. And more.”

“More?” you squeaked out as he drew closer.

The hockey player hummed, then suddenly stepped back and grabbed your hand. “Much more,” he confirmed. “Now—bed?” Short, sweet, and to the point Andrei always was…

Just one of the many things you loved about him.

Twenty minutes later you lay in Andrei’s bed, swallowed in another one of his shirts, and curled into his chest. His arm was wrapped around your waist, stroking gentle circles into the skin exposed to the room. It was silent, null except for the steady hum of the air conditioning and the gentle breathing of two humans reveling in each other’s presence.

“I miss it,” he said, suddenly speaking up. You lifted your head only slightly from his chest, already missing the sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. “Hockey. And I miss playing with my brothers.”

Brothers. Your heart broke at hearing the longing in his voice, because every single player on the team he played with was his family, in one way or another, and now he was being forced to watch them play the sport he had no chance of helping them win.

You couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain he was feeling.

“I know, Andrei,” was what you finally settled on. Your voice was soft, gentle, trying to convey your understanding with actions rather than words. You drew tiny circles on his chest, taking pride in the way goosebumps rose in your fingers’ wake. “I know.”

He tightened his grip on you, holding you closer to him as if he were afraid you’d disappear. “Will you be here?” he suddenly asked, frowning. Andrei knew he was being slightly irrational, feeling so vulnerable, but he really hadn’t felt secure in himself since first tearing his ACL.

What was his purpose in life, really, if not to play hockey and have you with him?

You hadn’t yet spoken, so he quickly clarified. “In the morning. And all the mornings after.”

A smile broke across your face as you buried your head into his chest. You felt the rumble of his chest as he chuckled, and then he shifted to where you were laying on top of his chest so he could see your face. “All the mornings, huh?” you asked, feeling bashful.

Andrei grinned, his tongue poking out from behind his teeth, knowing the effect he had on you. “Every one,” he replied. “If you will have me.”

“There’s nothing I want more.”

And you meant it, truly, with every fiber of your being. The next months were going to be rough, the ones where you’d have to be there for Andrei as he watched his team ultimately compete and fall through in the playoffs especially.

But you knew the two of you could do it. Andrei was nothing if not committed, even through all the arguments, tears, and emotional breakdowns, you were there for each other through the long haul.

And Andrei, meanwhile, after many difficult months down the road, had the biggest smile on his face as the doctors told him it was a miracle.

Because he had healed from his ACL injury in five.

fin

A/N: Before my medical professionals come at me, YES I KNOW acl injuries take up to a year to recover from almost all of the time, but for the sake of this fic just pls ignore that little fact 😭 in all seriousness though, I can’t wait till our favorite Russian gets to play again bc I miss him sm. As always, please leave likes, reblogs, and comments. Ily all <33

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[youcouldmakealife]

Stuff That Helps Me Write: Procrastination Busting (Intro)

My entire writing process, I've learned, boils down to trickery.

I'm the queen of procrastination (I think that royal title automatically comes with your ADHD diagnosis). That applies to literally everything: I will procrastinate eating. Sleeping. Hydrating. Bathroom breaks. Working. Not working. Doing shit I am actively looking forward to. I have a graveyard of games I never finished because I got too close to the end and my brain went ‘I’m enjoying this too much to finish, So I guess I’ll just never play it again’.

So obviously writing’s no exception to my ability to postpone doing anything and everything, but for some reason, it’s impacted less than everything else. So why?

Because it’s my job, but that goes for literally every other part of my job too, and I can procrastinate just fine on those parts. Just look at how long publication takes me.

Because I frequently hyperfocus on it, but in order to get into that state of mind I still have to start, and that’s the part that procrastination impacts the most.

Because I enjoy writing, but as I’ve just said, enjoyment has no bearing on whether I’ll do it. Ditto the fact I find it meaningful, and satisfying, and am invested in where it’s going. None of that makes something immune to procrastination. In fact, as those poor video games show, sometimes that makes me more likely to procrastinate.

So why don’t I generally procrastinate writing?

The fact that it's my job, and I enjoy it, and find it adds meaning to my life, all have in no way made me less likely to procrastinate, but they have meant that for 20+ years, I have been methodically figuring out workarounds for said procrastination. Things will work for a little while, until procrastination inevitably pops right back up with a new excuse, and then I have to figure out a workaround for that one. It’s been a very extended game of whack-a-mole, but I now have an entire toolbox to work with, and writing is now the most consistent thing in my life, only second to reading, which I basically do daily, and don’t consider a ‘habit’ to work on any more than most would consider watching TV or playing video games every day a ‘habit’ to work on.

Now, when I say consistency, I don’t mean I write on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Fridays at 5:30 am with a lit candle and a fragrant mug of tea like I have been told to do (writing guides all seem to require writing before dawn, which is something I only ever do accidentally, wrapping up a ‘whoops, got an idea in the middle of the night’ session).

I have found some things help with that sort of consistency (and that may be another post), but I'm not that kind of consistent. Every week looks different. Every day looks different. But on average I write between 200k and 300k a year, at a rate of between 1000-1500 words a working day. My schedule may vary — I might write five days one week, three days another, might write double one week to the next, might write 12,000 or 30,000 in a month. But when I zoom out, I'm consistent as fuck on a long-term basis (with the caveat that shit can happen, such as family emergencies or ol' bastard eye acting up again)

So uh, how?

All the common wisdom is has been distinctly unhelpful, in my experience. Treats don’t work on me, as I am aware I can just…not do the thing and have the treat anyway. Rewards don’t work on me, because ‘thing in nebulous future’ doesn’t have much to do with me now, does it? Holding myself hostage (‘no dinner/break/bathroom break until you write’) does not work, and should not be done, because those things aren’t rewards, they’re basic bodily functions (…apparently).

This is, I’ve learned, literally due to my wiring. Neurotypical people have an importance based nervous system. Motivating factors for tasks are the task's importance to them (duh) or someone they care about, the rewards associated with completion of the task (offer yourself a treat! Reward yourself at the end!), and the consequences associated with not completing the task.

None of that works on me. Like. At all.

It was only in recent years I learned about the interest based nervous system, and how it’s motivated by completely different things. Things that work to motivate me involve novelty, challenge (some will use competition interchangeably here, but I am not a particularly competitive person), urgency, and, well, interest.

And in hindsight, every single trick that’s ever worked for has touched on at least one of those categories.

I’m going to stop here, because I am literally procrastinating on writing Robbie by writing this, and the irony is too much for me right now, but I think that a larger than average portion of my readership may also be helped by tricks that specifically target novelty, challenge, urgency, and interest.

So, next week — an actual bullet pointed list of shit that tricks my brain into doing the thing. Some are more targeted to writing, some can be applied to plenty of things, but all of them have, at one time or another, made me Do the Thing, which, as the queen of procrastination, is a damn triumph.

[alexiswritingstuff]

Not just a man.

Pairing: Hiromi Higuruma x gn! reader

Warnings: none?

Summary: during one of the initial meetings in the culling game, Y/n decides to spark up a conversation with the mysterious man in the black suit.

Other mentions: like one thing about Itadori.

A/n: okay, I'm honestly not too confident about this one but if I leave it any longer it is just going to rot in my drafts, so here is my first fic with Higuruma! This is spoiler free, and even though it is based on the culling games, there might be points in this fic that don't accurately depict the situation in the manga. I have read it multiple times but my brain is something else, man. Also, be aware that there could be mischaracterisation, or general moments that would seem OOC for Higuruma. As much as I love him, this is my first fic with him so it will probably take time to nail down his characters, especially because the only thing that I can base it off is content from the manga. Either way, and despite the possible downsides, I hope you enjoy reading!

Finding a definition to encapsulate the past few days since the event had started was... difficult to say the least. While that may be because there wasn't a singular word to describe it, the options were unlimited.

Before anything had the chance to process, it was right onto the next thing. Another problem. Another fight, both physically and verbally.

It was the sort of cycle that may have already been usual in your kind of world, as there was no point in resting when curses were about, yet somehow it almost felt faster. Instead of potentially running into some form of beast, it was now an expectation instead.

Initially, you would think that was the most unnerving part, wouldn’t you?

Though, as you sat in a vast room with more people you had known in your life, it seemed that thought was more wrong than you could have known.

At some point during the game, a bunch of sorcerers were rounded up. You, somehow, just ended up being wound into it at some point. I mean, you may barely grasp the meaning of the culling game, but there were enough clues to fill it in.

There were only a few reasons why people like yourselves would gather in this way.

Something big was going down.

The room itself had become quieter over time. Most of the people within had left one after the other. Either having personal things to attend to, further discussions, or just trying to grab a breath of fresh air before even more stress.

You, however, had made yourself comfortable in one of the randomly placed seats. Or at least tried to.

In all honesty, your body was almost rigid. A lack of a want to move as the urge to fidget continuously antagonised each limb. It made it more tricky to maintain that hard exterior everyone else seemed to be able to keep up with ease. 

The whole sorcery thing wasn't exactly new to you. Your ability wasn't something you discovered young, like many others. It had given you enough time to learn about it. Grow it. Though being surrounded by other people who also had some form of ability was new.

Yeah, considering the fact that you had previously only met about a handful, it was most definitely new.

But you had to admit that it was very interesting to see the different kinds of sorcerers there were.

No matter how apparent, there was an active difference in mindsets, attitudes, personalities, and the general looks of these people. Most of what they could do even contrasted with it.

They had their own stories, their own abilities, and their own worlds. It was like the more you looked around, there was an increased possibility in becoming intrigued by something different.

And eventually, it landed on one thing in particular.

One person.

To your left was this man. He was sitting in his respective chair almost as if he were one with it, his hand simply resting against a table that separated the two of you, while his eyes gazed forward without a specific focus.

There wasn't exactly anything obscure about him. There was nothing on the surface that made him stick out from the rest; in fact, he was probably the most generic-looking person here.

He was just a man in a mere black suit and matching tie, though there was something that made it increasingly difficult for your eyes to stray.

And apparently keeping your mouth shut too.

“It's Higuruma, isn't it?”

It seemed to take a few seconds for the sound to register in his ears. Or, more so, the fact that it was directed at him if the words weren't enough. So a moment passed, he blinked, and eventually his head began to turn in your direction.

It was a lazy movement, one that soon revealed his other hand to be resting against his chin while the hook of a finger pressed into the space beneath his bottom lip. If he had glasses on, his eyes would be peering right over them, startled yet tired enough that they could barely be seen.

The man before you hummed, a deep sound that grumbled within his throat until his lips had finally decided to part. “I don't believe we've met before.”

His voice was pretty much what you were expecting it to be: lacking interest, flat, and a tad accusatory.

It was paired with this furrowed eyebrow, which created a light look of confusion, either simply because of the sudden conversation or the fact that it was with someone he hadn't paid much attention to beforehand.

To others, it may have made them uneasy. Filled them with a regret just for opening their mouth in the first place. But not for you. In fact, it had you finally settling into your seat.

“No, actually, I overheard that, uh, Itadori kid talking about your previous... interaction,” you explained, trying to use a new tone in hopes of loosening him up and making it clear that you were just wanting to talk. However, there was barely even a reaction.

A muscle in his face had slightly twitched in response to the phrasing, but otherwise he was still. He just stared back at you with those blank eyes.

He looked to be thinking, which helped relieve some of the tension, though in reality, it didn’t seem like he was one for conversing. At least not right now, anyway, and it should’ve made you turn away. It should’ve shut your mouth and made you go find somewhere else to bother. I mean, you had learned quite a few names by now. 

But the more you looked back at the so-called Higuruma, the more questions began to pile high up inside your brain. And it was only a matter of time before one would decide it was right to spill through your lips.

“Okay, look, I'm sorry, but I really need to.” You huffed out a breath, letting your feet fully plant against the ground as your torso twisted towards the man for proper delivery. “Can I ask you a question?”

There was a speck of hesitance that appeared within his gaze once it focused back on you, but nevertheless, “Go ahead." He relented, his tone enough of a warning that this was either going to continue or finish this conversation all together.

“Did you really take a bath with your clothes on?”

When the question settled for a moment, Higuruma leaned back a little, allowing a full view of you into his vision before he challenged, “Is it that unbelievable?”

“Well... I can't say that I've thought of doing it myself.”

“Exactly,” he stated without missing a beat, and it stilled your body. Your lips stayed apart for a moment, attempting to find the right words while he continued to stare into your soul. “So you just woke up one day and decided to bathe fully clothed?”

You blinked at him. He blinked right back. “Pretty much.”

Within the next few seconds, you found yourself sort of mirroring the way he sat. Like all the care you had on keeping up some form of appearance just went right out of the window.

And though a string of words failed to encompass your reaction to his experiment, it seemed that whatever expression was on your face was enough to entice a further explanation.

“Not to disappoint,” Higuruma had begun through a slight strain, somehow sinking even further into the chair until the back of his head was planted against the top rail. “But truthfully, I was only trying to do something I normally wouldn't.”

“That's all.”

Never in your life have you been more curious about a singular man. He hadn't done anything crazy; I mean, at some point, you must have had that same thought. So what the hell was it? Why was there an urge to keep this conversation going?

“And… how did that feel?” 

At this point, Higuruma's eyes had fallen closed, getting tired of staring up at the same boring ceiling, and basked in the growing silence from the fewer sorcerers. “Damp... though I must say it was better than I thought it would be.”

The only response you could think of was this barely audible hum. It was the easiest conclusion, seeing as it would acknowledge the comment while buying you time to figure out what exactly to say next. But it was rather challenging.

This whole scenario was just strange to you—something you probably couldn't even dream up if you tried. Yet here you were in the real world, having the most entertaining conversation with a man who you most likely wouldn't get the chance to if it weren't for the fact that both of you were sorcerers.

“You know, I didn't think I was going to get along with a lawyer.” you spoke up after a moment of silence, and Higuruma sucked air into his nose. His head lolled to the side, a movement fulfilled with somehow less energy than before. “That obvious?” he questioned, which in turn had you raising your eyebrows.

“What—that you're a lawyer?” you attempted to clarify, properly meeting his heavy gaze just in time to see his short nod. “You're the only one in here dressed in a full fancy suit; it was either that or you were a member of the men in black.”

It wasn’t entirely visible, but you swore the next time you blinked that the corner of his mouth that you could see sort of quirked upward. It wasn't a full smile; it had barely even created that little crevice, though it got accentuated by a huff that slightly shook his body. 

And then it faded: “Are you going to ask about my abilities too, then?”

“No, no, I got the jist,” you waved off initially, noting the way the question drained all the expressiveness from his face. “Honestly, I was more interested in the bath thing anyway, but now that you mention it, it must've taken you a while to master a thing like that.”

Higuruma hummed again, his gaze becoming unfocused once again as he started to search through his recollections. “I believe... It's been about twelve days.”

If it weren't for the statement itself, the nonchalant delivery would have also caused your eyes to widen in the way that they did. “What?” Your body turned as much as it could until your knee knocked into the crooked coffee table. The man before you remained unfazed.

“Twelve days—forget being a sorcerer; you're a damn magician, Higuruma!” you insisted, trying so hard to keep your voice at a minimum level while he lazily began to push himself to sit up straight. “Is it really that impressive?”

Your eyebrows were completely furrowed this time, your gaze narrowing on the man in disbelief. “There are some people who get their abilities at birth, and they can still not have them under control no matter what age they reach.”

“But that would also depend on the effort they put into doing so in the first place, if any,” Higuruma countered without missing a beat, though the conviction layering his voice faltered when he continued, “I… just got that chance of getting something that wasn't much different from my usual job.”

“Still, you managed to understand it—in what, a little more than a week? And it’s already at the point that you can just fully use it?” you reminded him almost at the same speed that he had, “I mean, even for a lawyer, that's got to be at least notable.”

The rest of his face may have been void of any emotions, but those eyebrows weren’t fooling anyone. His mind was moving. What wasn’t apparent, however, was in which direction it was doing so.

Higuruma may have been new to the world of sorcery, but this wasn’t something he thought was part of it.

Your genuineness, your curiosity, that look on your face—that was anything but the disgust he had seen in his own eyes. For once, he was face-to-face with something he couldn't solve right off the bat.

“How long did it take you?” He finally spoke up after a moment, and it seemed that both of you were equally unsure if the change of subject was due to it being uncomfortable or if he was now the one to be genuinely curious.

Now it was your turn to lean back a little. “Truthfully,” you started, averting your gaze for pretty much the first time since this entire interaction had begun. “I don't think mine is story-worthy, to be honest.”

Higurumas brow twitched upward. “How come?”

“Well,” You took in a breath, “not everyone has eventful lives. It’s as simple as that, really. In a world with a multitude of different abilities, there is bound to be a plethora of expectations and disappointments.” you stated with a light shrug, “Besides, I'm kinda tired of the whole 'introducing people's abilities before themselves'.”

“Isn’t that a little contradictory?” he inquired, and the defensiveness beat your urge to laugh. “What? No-- You were the one who willingly confirmed what you could do. I was only asking about–”

“The bath thing,” Higuruma affirmed before you could. “Yeah, yeah, I remember.” The look he gave you was one that had a grin fighting to take over your lips. It may have been filled with some annoyance, further concluded by a slight shake of his head. But it wasn’t the bad kind.

“Listen,” you began, trying to regain that seriousness so that you could get back to your point, even if it faltered. “All I’m saying is that we have every other day to discuss our abilities, man, but right now we have the chance to just... sit and talk about anything but that.”

That feeling of defensiveness was back, no matter its battle with amusement. And this time it was on a level that had you crossing your arms over your chest, as if it would do anything. “Then what do you have in mind?” Higuruma questioned, simply watching you complete your movement.

Your lips parted immediately for some reason. It was like your mind had pre-prepared some form of comeback as it got ready to let the words roll off your tongue… but they barely even formed into a sound. It was more like a slight croak, in all honesty. You paused. 

“... I didn't think that far."

For the first time in the minutes that you had known this man, the corners of his mouth had finally, and visibly, curled. 

He looked at you, his smile begging to grow further and further, to the point that he started biting it down. 

It was sort of unusual to see. Most of the time you looked at him, he had this blankness that latched to his face in a way that made it almost look embedded into the skin. There wasn’t really any difference in expression; it was more the movement of muscles. 

Yet now, whatever he was showing had almost reached his eyes, and it sat very nicely.

“What?” you half breathed out, a sort of nervous laugh breaking through your lips despite most of your face being screwed up in confusion. Higuruma waved a hand lazily and said, “Nothing. It's nothing; you're just…”

“It's all just been a little interesting,” he finally confessed, and though you were sure of its meaning, the phrasing put a crack in your amusement. “In a good way or a bad way?” you quizzed with a lighter tone, settling back into the chair, which never actually relieved the tension from your spine.

Higuruma shook his head once more before his gaze shifted to find your own. That previous spike of enjoyment seemed to use up the last bit of energy he had for the day as his face slowly reverted back to its usual state.

“It's good now, I think…” he started, dragging out the ending word, and it wasn’t until he lowered his chin that you realised he was gesturing in your direction. He was asking for your name. You hadn’t told him your name?

“Oh… Oh, just call me, L/n.” you informed quickly, trying to hide the confusion that had made itself known once more while the man before you simply nodded. “L/n,” he repeated quietly before continuing in a fuller voice. “Well, I hope your first impression of me wasn’t as bad as it sounds in my head,”

The slight grimace dusting over his face had you huffing out a laugh in seconds. “Oh, I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that any time soon, Higuruma,” you insisted, letting that smile take its rightful place on your lips to further prove it. 

And though it took a moment of looking at each other, he finally had a reason to do it too.

“Not at all.”

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

It’s really nothing new to have a flood of texts and emails spamming his phone after class. The fact that it’s nothing new these days is very new. It’s such a wild change from how things were before he came to Iwatodai that sometimes it’s overwhelming. Minato actually kind of enjoys it despite that– or maybe a little bit because of it– even if he does leave most of them on read.

He’s never had so many friends before. If he’s completely, brutally honest with himself about it, he’s really never had any friends before. None that really counted, anyway. None that had stuck around after one too many conversations where he said too little, or worse– said something they didn’t want to hear.

Now he has a whole compendium of people who know exactly what he’s like and still not only tolerate his company, but actively seek it– and all of them want to hang out at the same time. So now it’s the opposite problem, maybe?

Most of them understand and don’t take offense. Sometimes Tomochika and Miyamoto are a little pushy– or very pushy in Miyamoto’s case– but otherwise it’s fine. It’s a much nicer problem to have, all things considered. It’s been what’s kept his head above water for the past two weeks.

Minato scrolls through his phone, reading through today’s invitations. The track team does have practice today, and lo and behold, there’s Miyamoto’s trademark capslock enthusiasm right at the top of his inbox– but that’s not what grabs his attention. Just below Miyamoto’s is a message from someone he definitely wasn’t expecting.

It’s Aragaki. The subject line reads “Need a favor”. 

Minato can count on one hand the number of times Aragaki has messaged him personally, so it must be important. But then why not say something about it when everyone had visited yesterday? He opens the email, curiosity climbing.

Sorry to ask, but I need you to grab something from my desk and bring it to me. You’ll know it when you see it. Door should be unlocked. 

Straight and to the point, just like always. He can practically hear how Aragaki would say it, the exact matter-of-fact tone he’d use.

He’s got no proof, but Minato has an inkling as to what Aragaki is referring to. Or at least, he knows what he hopes that Aragaki means. If his hunch is right, then it explains perfectly why he’s asking Minato for this favor instead of Sanada or Mitsuru, and why he wouldn’t have wanted to bring it up in front of everyone else.

He’ll be missing track practice today, it seems. Minato can’t turn down this request for anything. He hopes Miyamoto and Yuko will understand. 

–

He finds exactly what he’d been hoping to find in Aragaki’s desk drawer. 

He can’t help the soft smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth at the sight of  the familiar envelope. On the paperwork inside, the date and reason are blank, but…

The signature is unmistakable. That’s Aragaki’s handwriting. 

His smile falters. A part of him wonders if this is just some kind of mind game. Maybe Aragaki just intends to tear the form up, and he knows Minato is the only one who would blithely bring it right to him. He doesn’t want to think that Aragaki is that cruel, but…

Well. Okay. Minato knows he isn’t. While that’s certainly the sort of sick prank that the world might play on him, it’s not something Aragaki would ever do. He’s kind of surprised that such a vehemently bitter idea even crossed his mind.

So maybe he is still… a little miffed… that Aragaki so blatantly lied to him. And went off to die without a word. And catapulted him into the nightmare memory of another hospital bed, another figure being consumed by wires and machinery. That last one isn’t really Aragaki’s fault, but Minato still can’t help being upset. 

It really is the lie that bothers him the most, though. It’s a little unnerving, how much it’s getting under his skin, when normally Minato wouldn’t be this upset, or even upset at all, about being lied to. Minato hadn’t felt this way when Yukari confronted Mitsuru about all the secrets she was keeping. He hadn’t cared what Mitsuru had been hiding. Honesty just never has been a sore point with him. So…why does this feel so different?

The only way he’s going to get any real answers or closure is to see this favor through to the finish. Minato pockets the envelope and makes his way back to the hospital. 

The smell of antiseptic hits him like a truck as soon as he crosses the threshold into the lobby. How does Junpei stand spending so much of his time here? Or Sanada, for that matter, who had come here every day since Aragaki was admitted. It makes him want to sprint right back out into the open air just thinking about doing the same. 

He arrives at Aragaki’s door. He seems to have skipped a few steps– he’s gone straight from the entryway to the patient wing without a single recollection of speaking to the receptionist or walking through the halls. Aragaki is awake in there, Minato sternly reminds himself. It’s his friend on the other side of that door, not an empty shell that used to be him. 

He knocks, and obeys when he’s bid to come inside. Aragaki regards him quietly for a few seconds. There aren’t any other visitors right now; Sanada must still be in practice.

Minato nods and produces the envelope from his pocket. Aragaki nods as he takes it, but his expression is subdued and unreadable.

He tucks it away into the drawer on the small side table to his left. He looks back at Minato and frowns.

Minato doesn’t respond. Aragaki blinks, surprise softening his features for half a second before the scowl settles back into place.

Minato doesn’t feel his face doing anything in particular. He wonders vaguely what Aragaki sees in his expression, but decides it’s better not to ask. Time to move on.

Minato must be making another face, because Aragaki rolls his eyes.

He’s got permission to leave if he so chooses. That’s clearly what Aragaki expects, but leaving things like this on such a sour note doesn’t sit well with Minato at all. 

Neither of them are good at talking, but there’s quite a bit Minato knows needs to be said. As leader, it really is his job, and… it’s his job as a friend, too.

Aragaki must take his silence the wrong way again and scowls at him.

Part of Minato does really want to tear into him, craves the catharsis of it. Aragaki even seems to want him to as well, as if to prove some kind of point to himself. But Minato doesn’t think there’s anything he could say that Sanada wouldn’t have already. 

Besides, being angry is exhausting. Minato’s already tired enough.

He settles himself in one of the chairs at Aragaki’s bedside and folds his hands in his lap.

“I…want to apologize,” he says.

“Huh?” Aragaki looks surprised again. Minato wonders if having his emotions put on shuffle like that is as draining for Aragaki as it would be for him.

“Everyone else visited you at least once before you woke up, but… I didn’t. I was too scared. I didn’t want to see you like that, Senpai.”

Aragaki just blinks at him, as though Minato’s apology is so far from what he’d been expecting that he’s stuck in a frozen state as he tries to process it. Minato wonders if this is what people mean when they tell him that his long silences and stares make them uncomfortable. 

“You…” Aragaki shakes his head, exasperated.

Minato pushes forward. “So… I’m sorry. For being such a coward.” 

“Cut that out, seriously. You don’t need to– I wasn’t even awake. S’not like I would’ve known if you were here or not.”

“Still.”

“The hell d’you mean, ‘still’? Just forget about it. It’s fine.” Aragaki sighs hugely, and his voice softens when he speaks again. “I mean that. It’s fine.”

“It’s really not though. Not to me. I don’t want you to think I don’t care.”

“You’re really sayin’ that like it ain’t your catchphrase?” Aragaki scoffs. 

“Got me there,” Minato says with another ghost of a smile. Now that he’s on the other end of it, Minato suddenly has a better appreciation of what Aragaki said to him a month ago at Hagakure. It really is refreshing to have someone say something to you straight instead of beating around the bush. “But I’d like to visit now, if that’s okay.”

“...Look, that’s real sweet and everything, but I ain’t really in a chattin’ mood right now.”

“That’s fine,” Minato replies. “Neither am I. I pretty much never am.” He digs into his bag and pulls out a book, opening it across his knees. He runs his thumb over the edge of the pages, worn to moth-wing softness by age. “But I’ll still be here.”

Aragaki doesn’t answer, so Minato shifts his attention fully to his book. He only gets through about a page and a half before Aragaki’s grumbling voice cuts into the silence again. “...Anyone ever tell you you’re a goddamn weirdo?”

“Junpei says that a lot, actually.”

“Hmph. Well don’t tell Junpei I agree with him on that,” Aragaki says, his mouth twisting wryly to one side. “It’ll go to his head.” 

“You got it, Senpai.” 

Aragaki makes a sound that might be a scoff, but might also be a suppressed laugh, and just like that the tension in the air dissipates. The next couple of hours pass mostly in silence, but pleasantly. Minato doles out books to Aragaki, and to Fuuka and Sanada when they arrive. They have occasional fragments of conversation amongst themselves, particularly after Mitsuru arrives near the end of visiting hours.

It feels comfortable, normal. The smell of old paper and bookbinding glue overpowers that of medicinal sterility. Minato even manages to forget, for just a moment, that they’re in a hospital at all.

[taatsums]

Kafka Oguro SSR - The Morning After The Rain: A Rainy Day Schedule For The Two of Us

Part 1

📍HAMA Tours, Office Floor

Kafka: Chief-chan, good work today.

Kaede: Kafka, you’re still here? Good work today! 

Kafka: Thanks for supporting Yachiyo today as always.

Kaede: No need to thank me. I’m sure Yachiyo-kun is still having a hard time adjusting, and I’m also doing my best along with him.

Kafka: You’re so reliable. It’s thanks to you that everyone’s getting a chance to grow. I look forward to seeing what’s next for HAMA Tours.

Kaede: You’re overestimating me…!

Kafka: Alright, enough with the formalities. Do you remember what’s happening tomorrow, Chief-chan?

Kaede: Of course. We’re going to the zoo, right?

Kafka: Yup. I’m so excited about our zoo date that I can barely sit still.

Kaede: I don’t know about calling it a date… But I guess that’s what it is when two people go out together.

Kaede: What are you looking forward to seeing the most at the zoo, Kafka?

Kafka: Hmmm, I’d say the okapi. Apparently you can only see them at HAMA’s zoo.

Kaede: Sounds nice! Let’s go see the okapi first, then!

Kafka: Yeah! By the way, it seems like they’ve got a limited-time flamingo drink available right now.

Kaede: Even the name is cute! I wanna try it when we get there.

Kafka: Just leave it to me, Chief-chan. I’ve come up with the perfect itinerary for tomorrow’s zoo tour.

Kaede: Ahaha, I’ll leave it to you. I’m looking forward to it.

Kaede: Oh. Right, I didn’t check the weather forecast…

Kafka: I have, of course. It’s going to be sunny with a 0% chance of rain.

Kaede: You really have it all planned out…!

Kafka: It’s for our date, after all.

Kafka: Alright, let’s wrap things up and go home. No staying up late, or working overtime allowed today.

📍 HAMA House, Living Room

Kafka: It’s raining…

Kaede: The weather forecast was way off…

Kaede: (I know there’s nothing that can be done, but it really is unfortunate. We haven’t had the chance to go out together in so long…)

Kafka: …

Kaede: (Kafka’s so obviously depressed…!)

Option 1: Encourage him

Kaede: I’m sure the rain will pass by this afternoon!

Kafka: The forecast just now said there’s a 90% of rain…

Kaede: (Oh man, he’s seriously depressed…)

Option 2: Join him in his sadness

Kafka: I really hadn’t accounted for this…

Kafka: No matter how advanced our civilization becomes, we can’t control changes in the weather.

Kaede: (He’s so depressed that he’s gone into enlightenment mode…!)

Kafka: …

Kaede: Kafka, you okay…?

Kafka: Alright! Today’s plan will be changed to a rainy day schedule presented by none other than yours truly!

Kaede: Huh?

Kafka: We can’t do anything about the weather, so let’s just go to the zoo another day. I’ll just come up with even more things you can look forward to.

Kafka: Just leave the details to me.

Kaede: (He’s not depressed at all! If anything, he’s having fun…!?)

Kafka: Okay, we don’t have all day. Let’s go, Chief-chan…!

Kaede: (Go where, exactly…!?)

Part 2

📍 HAMA House, Living Room

Kaede: So, what’s that rainy day schedule thing about?

Kafka: Ta-daaah. I’ve prepared all sorts of indoor activities for us to enjoy~!

Kaede: Cat’s cradle, paper clay, board games, even origami…! These bring back memories! This sure is a rainy day full course!

Kafka: How about we start with a round of Game of Life?

Kaede: Sounds good! It’s been a long time since I last played a paper board game. Wait, is that… the same one from back then?

Kafka: Bullseye! I’ve prepared items from back then ♪

Kaede: You took good care of everything, didn’t you? Thanks!

Kafka: We played a lot together back in that hospital room.

Kaede: We sure did! We’d play Game of Life and talk about our dreams for the future. Who’d have thought we’d be here now?

Kafka: You never know what hand life will deal you.

-

Kafka: And my assets total to 1.5billion, and I’ve got 3 cars.

Kaede: I lost… Nothing’s changed. I still don’t think I can win against you.

Kafka: It’s all a matter of luck ♪ Guess I was just extra lucky today.

Kaede: Okay, next… we’re having a paper clay showdown!

Kafka: Fine by me. What should we make?

Kaede: How about Shumai?

Kafka: Sounds good! We can show it to Renga later and have him decide the winner.

-

Kafka & Kaede: And, done!

Kafka: The fur was a little hard to replicate, but don’t you think his face turned out great?

Kaede: Ahaha, yeah! That’s what Shumai looks like when he wakes up.

Kafka: Uhhh, this isn’t supposed to be when he wakes up. It’s Shumai right before he digs in on a snack.

Kafka: But why does the Shumai you made look like he’s going to melt?

Kaede: The antenna on his head looked like it was about to fall apart, so I made him look like he’s sleeping!

Kafka: Haha, so he’s sleeping! I thought he was melting from the heat.

Kafka: We can’t show either of these to Renga.

Kaede: You’re right… I don’t think he’ll even be able to tell these are Shumai.

-

Kaede: It’s been a while since I last did cat’s cradle, paper clay and origami, but they’re still all fun, even now!

Kaede: (And our paper clay skills haven’t changed since/from back then, either.)

Kafka: Right. Anything is fun with you, Chief-chan– But this makes it feel like we’ve gone back in time.

Kafka: The number of Ward Mayors here will increase, so this place will keep getting more and more lively.

Kafka: We’ve got plenty of rooms, and I’d like to think we’ve got lots of things to do on rainy days, too.

Kafka: Let’s say, for example… The theater room would be nice. How about we watch a movie and eat popcorn together?

Kaede: The theater room sounds good!

Kaede: (Kafka looks like he’s having fun… I’m glad. That makes me happy, too.)

Kafka: Oh, the rain’s letting up.

Kaede: Oh, you’re right. I didn’t even notice.

Kafka: How about we go for a little walk outside? Let’s look for a rainbow.

Kaede: That sounds nice. We did that together back then, too.

Kafka: Alright then, let’s go!

Kaede: (... I hope I can find more fun things to do with Kafka, both in HAMA Tours and in HAMA House!)

[itsjustjake13]

First: I adore the universe of Destiny, the game, and the story... So if you are looking for some Destiny vitriol, look elsewhere.

Second: Destiny 2 spoilers from this week's story beat ahead... tagging and putting a line here just as a heads up.

Third: Ranting time!

"Thus began the Witness's pursuit... its campaign to impose meaning on a meaningless universe."

I would love if some of the critics of Destiny 2, and most recently the harsh critics of the Lightfall campaign, would listen to that one line over and over and over again.

While many stories often have meaning and lessons behind them, did you ever stop to consider to just sit back and enjoy? The Witness's prior existence as an entire species was wiped out because it could not just sit back and enjoy what was right in front of it.

They sought to impose meaning where there was none and have destroyed so much in the process.

Civilizations, planets, people... and now so many Guardians and characters we hold dear.

This is what seems to be happening to the Destiny 2 community these days. It is so focused on what it purports to not have rather than focus on what it does: an incredible world built by some of the most talented game developers in the world.

Why hold this back? This should have been the last cutscene in Lightfall. Destiny 2 is in the worst shape its ever been.

How about looking at what's right in front of you? Just over a month ago, we were all thrilled at the addition of two new unique seasonal activities AND they added fishing AND they brought back a beloved NPC AND started unveiling the mystery of the veil by connecting us to a prior piece of lore about a creature on Titan. How fuckin' rad is all of that in ONE season?

Not just that but why not let them unfold the mystery they want to unfold as they unfold it? Why do they have to answer to what certain "lore daddys" consider to be poor storytelling?

If anyone who works on Destiny 2 sees this: I think your game is so awesome. I think the story you are telling is amazing. And I really appreciate everything you've placed before me.

People often look for meaning in the meaningless, look for what's not there instead of what is, and often miss the love, community, and awesome stuff that is happening right in front of their eyes.

Video games are entertainment. Let them entertain you.

More love. Less anger.

</rant>

[egg-emperor]

Speaking of Eggdad I don't remember which video it was but it had Ian discuss how family bonding between Eggman and Sage would be destroying villages and subjugating the inhabitants HAPPILY together. Eggman and Sage are new team dark if anything. In fact, if we got a new Sonic Heroes type game it'd be so awesome if we got a playable Eggman team featuring himself truly, Sage, and Metal Sonic.

Yeah every time Flynn has talked about Eggman and Sage that I'm aware of, it's not without him explaining how Eggman has messed up perception and conditions behind his embracement of the dynamic, or emphasizing that they're still very much evil together. It's cool that he doesn't seem to play into the hyper pure wholesome fanon idea because of how the fandom mass misinterpreted it and clearly prefer it that way, when he very well could. Goes to show that it really was never actually the written intention of their real dynamic in the games

Because it just reiterates what we already see to be the case in the game already, with Eggman's dynamic with Sage being anything but traditional and in fact very self-centred and conditional with just as selfish motives as ever, and Sage clearly being on Eggman's side of evil even after her developments by staying by his side as he laughed at Sonic's cyber corruption death and the way she says the world is his to conquer. She's still very much evil and her development is only likely to make her more so to please her father and attempt to bond with him

So the idea that closest to family bonding is through that instead of all the traditional things/at least with an original evil twist on them in the very rare occasion that they might be is great. Eggman wasn't the type to suddenly get into tons of traditional domestic family activities to please someone who was literally created to serve him, so Sage instead joining in on all the things he already enjoyed doing before she existed and her just being happy to be included makes way more sense. And it's way cooler to think about what fun diabolical things they can get up to together!

It's fun to think about how they work together in business and schemes and happily destroying villages and subjugating inhabitants. Also how Eggman could indulge in his love for theme parks with her, not by wholesome trips to Disneyland but showing how they really should be with Eggmanland, twisted and deadly dangerous thrills. Same with carnivals. And with his love for circuses, he kidnaps and showcases stolen animals like Circus Park. And he said he could turn Sonic and co into toys for Sage to play with in The murder of Sonic, teaching her that people are their playthings

It is pretty much his answer to a new Team Dark, though he prefers the name Team Eggman now, probably because he considers himself the founder and creator of the original Team Dark and feels it was highjacked with him being cast out and replaced by Omega so he wants to assert extra hard that it's his this time so it won't happen again, can't forget who it belongs to or replace him when he's in the name lol. And then he can show how much better he can be on a team with his own superior creations built in his image instead of with Shadow and Rouge!

While it's funny that he had Zavok on his Team Eggman last time, reflecting his cush and obsession with the guy lol, Eggman and his own creations makes the most sense long term. The best way for him to team up with anyone is if they're his own obedient creations that won't - or literally can't ever think of betraying him with the programming like Metal (for the most part!) or have the genuine enthusiasm like Sage and most of the "teamwork" is really mostly them serving him and him getting all the benefits and glory. Metal and Sage are the perfect fit

Also if going by team types again, they don't fit into the Heroes team structure as none fit Flight type much but certainly fit the Team Sonic Racing one. Sage Technique, Metal Sonic Speed, and Eggman could be Power class again like he really always should be and would've been again if Zavok hadn't stolen that spot in TSR! Eggman being the brains and the brawn when be wants to join the action and show off his physical strength, Sage also being brains and skill with her programme abilities and Metal being the speedy killing machine he's always been

Diabolical dream (nightmare?) team there! XD They could get up to some great evil together!

[reminiscingtonight]

The Reveal

Leah Williamson x Bronze!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Lucy finally returns in this last installment of the Setback prequels. I hope you guys have enjoyed the journey as much as I have writing it!

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Setbacks

[WOSO Masterlist]

Waking up to Leah will always be your favorite activity. You come to consciousness to tiny breaths puffed against your cheek, arms wrapped tight around your torso. Your legs are tangled together, the only evidence of what happened last night being the soreness in your body and the lack of clothes on both of you. 

You snuggle against Leah, letting yourself bask in her warmth before beginning the daunting task of untangling yourself. The defender’s clingier than most, never letting you leave the bed without a fight. Usually you would fold without much prompting and go cuddle with your favorite person, but today you have plans to make Leah breakfast in bed, and you’d be damned if you let her charm you out of it. 

“No! Don’t go,” Leah whines, coming to consciousness just to try to pull you back into bed with her.

“I’ll be right back, promise,” you whisper, secretly delighted that Leah still puts up this much of a fight even after a couple months into dating.

She mumbles something incoherent into her pillow but doesn’t let go of the death grip she has on your arm. 

“Leah,” you tsk out, happily giving her a kiss when she drags you down for another one. When she attempts to go from cute to sexy, however, you stop her right in her tracks. “Let me do something nice for you. Please?”

Leah gives you a blank look, hand pausing from where it’s attempting to trail down your body. When you give her your best puppy eyes, she sighs before letting you go. That’s the one trait the two of you share, never being able to say no to what the other wanted.

“Fine. Hurry back, I miss you already.” Leah’s pout almost gets you to break. Almost. 

Pressing a quick kiss against her lips, you quickly shrug on a hoodie and some underwear before slinking out into the kitchen.

Thankful for your pre-planning, you already have all the ingredients necessary to make breakfast. You pull them all out quickly, mentally ticking off your checklist. You’re ducking under your cabinet, trying to pull out a plate when you hear the distinct sound of keys in your locks.

You spin around just as your front door swings open. When you catch sight of brown hair in a familiar bun, you’re suddenly glad you threw on a hoodie to cover your state of undress before leaving your room.

“Luce! What are you doing here?” It’s hard to hide the panic in your voice, especially when you’re aware of the body in the next room. 

Lucy gives you a weird look, mistaking your panic for confusion. She drops a bag of muffins and some coffee onto your counter. “What, I can’t come visit my sister?”

“I just wasn’t expecting you,” you shrug, hoping to play off your disarray. 

Lucy eyes all the food on the counter, taking note of the two plates, two cups, double of everything really. “The amount of food you’re preparing says otherwise.”

You blink owlishly, silently cursing your sister’s perceptive eyes. You could never get anything past Lucy when you were younger. Her BS detector has only seemed to improve as the two of you grew older. 

“Did I tell you I was coming over? Damn, I was really hoping to surprise you. Give you an early birthday gift since I’m in town right now and all.”

“What? No. No! I’m surprised, very surprised. You did a great job, totally didn’t see it coming or anything. When did you even get into town? I thought you had a game yesterday.” You’re really hoping your rambling has confused Lucy enough to forget about all the extra food you’re preparing, but in the end, none of your distractions are enough to stop Leah from joining the party.

“Baby, what’s all the nois--” Leah stops abruptly when she takes in the sight in front of her.

Your first step is to grimace. You’ve been thinking about the best way to break the news of your new girlfriend to Lucy for weeks now. Although you haven’t hid your relationship anywhere close to as long as Lucy did, you know that your sister would still be hurt that you hadn’t told her right away.

Lucy stiffens next to you and you’re trying to come up with the proper explanation when you notice what Leah’s dressed in. Or more plainly, how little she’s dressed in. All Leah’s got on is one of your flannels and a pair of boxers.

You bite your lip, not able to push down the sudden surge of attraction that arises when you catch sight of her abs, the low swells of her-- Leah seems to gather her lack of clothes at the same time. She quickly closes shut the flannel, hiding the excess skin she had on display. Leah’s face is a rosy hue, no doubt embarrassed to be caught in this state by your sister.

Speaking of which…

“Why is there a barely dressed Leah Williamson in your flat?” Lucy grits out, turning her glare towards you.

“Surprise. We’re… dating?” The way your voice raises at the end makes your statement sound more like a question.

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “Are you asking or telling me?”

A tense silence settles over the three of you.

Leah fidgets uncomfortably under Lucy’s piercing eyes. “I’m just gonna,” she gestures over her shoulder towards your bedroom, but stops the second your sister’s voice rings out.

“No, stay. Please. I’d like to see how you guys try to explain this away.” Lucy crosses her arms, staring pointedly between the two of you. 

“There’s nothing to ‘explain away’,” you frown, not liking what Lucy’s implying. “Leah’s my girlfriend and I’m hers. We’re dating.”

It’s not like it’s a secret. While you and Leah are keeping things on the downlow, most of your club teammates have already figured out that you and Leah are together. The great thing about not playing on the same team as your sister meant not sharing every second of your life with one another. You’re sure Lucy’s happy for the slight reprieve, after basically coddling you to your interests your entire life. 

You make your way around the counter, picking up a discarded sweatshirt on the way and handing it to Leah. Your girlfriend murmurs a quiet thanks, hurrying to pull on the piece of clothing. You can feel Lucy’s gaze burning into your back as you block Leah from Lucy’s view. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know she was coming,” you whisper, noting the way Leah’s eyes keep darting nervously behind you. 

“When did this happen?” Lucy’s voice interrupts the two of you before Leah can respond to you. 

Rolling your eyes in annoyance, you turn around to face your sister again. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Her eyes narrow dangerously and you can feel Leah stiffen beside you. You’re used to Lucy being short with you, not that it happens often, but you understand why Leah’s more jumpy than usual. If you weren’t related to Lucy you would probably be quaking in your boots too.

But you are related to her. And you know exactly how to push Lucy’s buttons without the disastrous consequences that usually come when people challenge her.

You square your jaw, trying hard not to snap at Lucy. “You know Leah. You like Leah. There’s no need to give her the third degree.”

Lucy’s mouth pinches in displeasure, but you cut her off again before she can argue with you. 

“Leah makes me happy. Like really stupidly happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time, okay? She treats me amazingly and dotes on me to the degree that it should be annoying but instead only makes me love her more. She’s wonderful in every way possible and most importantly, she loves me. So. Take all of that into account before you say whatever you’re going to say.”

Lucy blinks, not expecting such a long, thought out declaration. 

Leah also seems to be taken aback, mouth parted in surprise. It’s only when the silence drags on and no one says anything that you realize how raw your declaration was. The heat crawls up your neck and your fingers start nervously drumming on your thigh. 

Leah’s hand is quick to lace themselves with yours, stopping your nervous motion. She gives you a light squeeze, and you watch as Lucy’s eyes drop to your intertwined hands. 

It almost feels like a lifetime before Lucy says anything. When she does, you’re not sure if it’s supposed to make you feel better or not. 

“Okay. Well. You’re an adult so.” Lucy sighs, looking as if she’s about to get up and leave. 

From the corner of your eyes you can see a matching frown form on Leah’s face. 

“Just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I don’t care about what you think.”

And it’s true. You’ve always idolized your sister, wanting to do everything you could to impress her. Her perceptions on everything you do is always important to you. And while you’re ready to defend Leah to the moon and back, Lucy’s approval would only make you breathe a little easier. 

Lucy silently stares at the two of you, trying to weigh whether or not you’re being honest. The corner of her mouth twitches before she turns her attention to Leah. “You really love (Y/N)?”

Leah nods, hand tightening around yours. “Yeah, I really do.”

Lucy looks like she’s considering it for a moment before she shrugs. “Okay, well that’s all I can really ask for.”

You want to let out the breath you’ve been holding in this entire time, but then Lucy actually does head for the door. 

“Wait, where are you going?”

Lucy pauses, already slipping on one of her shoes. “Uh, well it’s clear I’m crashing your guy’s breakfast so I’m just going to--”

“You should stay!” Leah’s outburst takes all of you by surprise. A blush forms on her face as she throws out a mumbled, “Please.”

Lucy looks between the two of you, from Leah’s embarrassed face to your pleading one. You know you have her when Lucy takes one look at your puppy eyes and then mutters something in Portuguese to herself.

“Alright then, if you guys insist.”

Your smile is blinding as Lucy makes her way back to the kitchen. Leah passes you another cup that you quickly fill with coffee before sliding it to your sister. Lucy mumbles a quick thanks before handing out the muffins she brought this morning. 

“Maybe we should invite Keira next time,” Lucy hums under her breath as she takes a bite of her muffin. “Make this a proper double date. I’m sure she would love it.”

Lucy stops chewing when she notices the way Leah has stiffened up again. She turns her questioning gaze towards you, but you turn your eyes upwards, suddenly finding your ceiling very interesting. 

Lucy chokes. 

“Oh my god, you guys haven’t told Keira yet?!”