#they’re genuinely so good too and I don’t typically say that about things I bake bc I’m so critical of myself sometimes!!

[crybaby-bkg]

this is so un-blog related but I’m so proud and I wanna share!!! but I made some banana pudding cookies the other day for the second time, and the first time I made them they were AWFUL!!!! I’m being dramatic but they just weren’t good and were so bland and ughhh I was so disappointed bc I’m so used to doing things great on the first try and I don’t always know how to come back from something after failing at it.

but I tried it again the other day and they’re so amazing and I’m!!!!! just so proud!!!!!! I used banana extract for the first time for the cookie flavor and it made such a huge difference. and I was so nervous bc my youngest niece is like…….a food critic LOL so I shared with her and asked if she liked it and she IMMEDIATELY was like “NO!!!!!” but then she ate half of the cookie with me and also licked the plate clean with her finger so I think she enjoyed lmfao I’m just so proud of myself!!!!!!!

[vipernoir]

Snowflake

Little Lukanette fic! Inspired by the ‘snow’ from @lukacouffaineappreciation 7daysofLuka for Christmas!!! 🎅 I had a lot of fun writing this :)

Marinette is feeling stress from her everyday life of being ladybug, and with the stress of the holidays coming up she seeks out some comfort from a certain blue haired boy

Bittersweet Luka x Mari ~ post breakup

Why had she agreed to do it? She had enough to deal with right now. As if being Ladybug and secretly saving the city every other night wasn’t enough, she’d promised to bake Christmas macarons for her schools bake sale. Then she had promised Alya she would take her little sisters so see Santa tomorrow so she could see the last movie showing with Nino. On top of all of that she’d now promised Rose she would design and make an elaborate, angelic dress for the upcoming winter dance. It was a lot.

She was an overly helpful person, she’d always been this way. Saying yes was just a second nature for her, and she wasn’t very good at disappointing people. Her plate was always full, then once she’d eaten away at some of the responsibilities and the plate seemed a little easier to eat, it just kept overflowing.

Christmas was only seven days away and in typical Marinette fashion she hadn’t got a single present for anyone, well other then Adrien but she had his next 30 christmases sorted. They were just friends now, good friends too, Marinette never thought her feelings for Adrien could be platonic but here she was. Maybe she could regift some of the old Adrien gifts? After all she had still to buy a gift for her parents, a gift for Alya, as well as the secret Santa she was doing with her friends! Master Fu! Tikki!?

Marinette sank down on the stone cold bench by the river, shivering a bit as she did so. Paris seemed colder this winter than it had been any other. The cold air was thick, and glittery with frost, even with all the layers of clothing Marinette had on it was still freezing. Her thoughts outweighed the cold though, she was too busy worrying about everything to notice how red her nose and cheeks had become. Her eyes were too busy swirling with anxiety she hadn’t noticed the light frost falling on her eyelashes. Her mind wondered to him, and how much regret she had for the way things ended between them. She missed Luka, and with all her heart she still loved him, but she couldn’t bear the extra responsibility of loving him, it was too dangerous for them both. She was so deep in thought she hadn’t even noticed when someone sat down on the bench next to her.

“Hello Marinette.”

His voice took her by surprise, she jumped back startled, which caused him to cover his mouth, stifling a giggle.

“Luka! Sorry I didn’t even notice you. I was just ….”

“Overthinking?” Luka said smiling, shuffling a little closer to Marinette.

“Was it that obvious?” Marinette looked down, trying to hide her eyes, knowing full well Luka could read them like a book

“Your Marinette, you’re always worrying. You can talk to me about it you know.”

Marinette looked away, she always told Luka her problems, it seemed like a regular thing now to the point she was starting to feel guilty. Every time she went on crazy and rambling Luka just sat there, supportively listening and taking in her each and every word.

“Don’t feel bad about it, you’re my friend Marinette, one of my most dear friends. I’ll always listen to you.”

Marinette signed, knowing Luka genuinely wanted to hear her worries, “ I’m just getting so tired of it all Luka. Every second of my time is accounted for, and I can’t catch a break. There’s things that I have to do and things I’ve promised to do, and they’re all combining into one giant time consuming lump and I feel breathless. I think sitting on this bench is the first moment I’ve had to myself for weeks.”

“You’re a busy girl Marinette, you always seem to be rushing off to do something…important.” Marinette sunk down the bench, feeling guilty remembering all the times she’d made excuses during the dates she and Luka had been on, all of times she had to transform to ladybug and abandon her friends on liberty. After all she was the reason they’d broken up, and had make Luka so sad. “You have to take time for yourself, the holidays are stressful enough time for anyone. You’re an amazing girl Marinette, and you shouldn’t overwork yourself. You need to find the right balance, you can’t press every piano key down at once, it’s impossible, you’ve got to select what notes to play at the right time, and don’t play too fast or your fingers will ache.”

She giggled at his musical euphemism “Thank you Luka. You always cheer me up.”

“Anytime Marinette, I’ll always be here for you, even if it’s just as friends.”

Marinette paused, wondering if she should say what she wanted too, “I…I‘m still really sorry about that Luka, how things ended up. I didn’t want things to be that way, I don’t even think I wanted things to end at all. It was just all too much.”

She looked at his eyes, they were showing nothing but calmness and compassion for her. Luka was good at reading people but he was even better at hiding his own emotions. Marinette knew how much pain Luka hid, and she knew that pain was inflicted by herself. Luka put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, resting it on top of her pink, knitted scarf.

“I understand Marinette, and it’s okay.”

“No Luka it’s not okay! I didn’t want -!” Her voice trailed off and she could feel cold tears prickling in her eyes, the icy wind making it harder for the tears to stay dormant. Her hands instinctively covered her face, and she turned away in embarrassment.

“Marinette you don’t have to hide yourself, you’re beautiful even when you cry.” Luka whispered, slinking his fingers between hers and pulling them from her face before pulling her into a hug. “I’m here for you always, and I’ll put your feelings before my own because I know you need it. You’ve made it perfectly clear that I can’t know the truth, and as much as I want to know I respect that you can’t tell me. The little things that pile up on top though, they’re okay to tell me aren’t they?”

Marinette sniffled, throwing her arms around Luka returning the hug, “I’m always using you for advice and I can give you nothing in return.”

“But you do give me something Marinette, you give me your smile.” Marinette’s blueberry eyes met Luka’s, she had to admit his sweet words did bring a smile to her face, she didn’t consider it payment for all he did for her, but she still couldn’t stop her lips from spreading at his words. “It’s getting cold out, do you want me to walk you home?”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s not a far walk, but I think my dad said he can pick me up in his tour bus”

Marinette nodded and stood from the bench, and Luka followed suit. The glazed over path made Marinette stumble back, she was about to fall to the floor when a warm pair of arms grabbed her from behind, and set her back to her feet. “Thank you Luka, I didn’t realise how slippery it had gotten.”

“No problem Marinette, it’s just a shame it’s only icy and there’s been no snow.”

“Yeah I agree. Even though it’s the coldest winter we’ve had for years there’s still been no snow, Christmas doesn’t feel right without it.”

“Yeah, even when it does snow it doesn’t last long.”

“It’s honestly so pretty when it snows, I love how beautiful the city looks in snowfall I wish it would last forever.”

“That’s a nice wish Marinette, I don’t think it can snow forever but if I could wish for anything this Christmas I’d hope for some snow this winter for you, if it would make you happy.”

“That’s really sweet Luka.” She smiled at him.

“Actually I think I’m being a little selfish with it too…” Marinette cocked her head confused by what he meant. How could Luka ever be selfish? “I’m wishing for snow to see you smile, but mostly I think I’d like to see how radiant you look as the snowflakes float down behind you.”

Marinette just laughed, Luka always seeming so perfect. The two walked slowly through the slippy streets, looking at the twinkling decorations that lit up Paris. After a couple of more close falls from Marinette slipping, Luka took her hand firmly, arching his own arm as a support beam. Marinette blushed but said nothing, stealing glances at Luka when he wasn’t looking.

He looked so handsome in the crisp night, his soft, fluffy hair looked like a galaxy against the night. His eyes so brilliant blue, so full of the Christmas wonder. She hated being a superhero sometimes, she just wanted to be a normal girl who could have a normal boyfriend and do normal couple things.

“You’re overthinking again Mari.” Luka smirked, side eyeing her

“Sorry aha, I was kinda just trailing off from the world again.”

“Talk to me.”

“I just wish I was normal..”

“You’re not normal though, and that’s what’s so special about you. You have a tune that no one else can play. Everything about you is extraordinary. You’re like a beautiful, winter snowflake, each snowflake that falls is different yet every one is individually beautiful , and the more layers that form the more stunning you become.”

“You always know what to say Luka.” Marinettes cheeked turned crimson, now matching with her frozen cheeks and Rudolph nose. “Do…do you really think I’m as beautiful as a snowflake?”

Luka’s eyes darted up to the blackening sky and he smiled softly, turning his gaze to meet Marinette’s. “As beautiful as the ones falling from the sky.”

“What do-“ she started, before Luka span her round to see the first snow fall. Majestic white droplets dancing down to the ground, swirling around the landscape of the city, each droplet of snow that fell complimented the dazzling lights that decorated Paris.

“Looks like you got your wish.” Luka said smiling

“It’s so beautiful!” Marinette exclaimed running out towards the snow covered grass in the park, twirling about in the snow fall. Snow fell on her bluebell hair, and covered her shoulders.

“I got my wish too.” Marinette turned to look at him. He was stood watching her intently with such a loving gaze in his eyes, just pure adoration. Watching her excitement prancing about the snowy night, it was the highlight of his whole year.

“Merry Christmas Luka.” Marinette said pulling him into a snow covered hug.

Luka pulled her in deeper, planting a light kiss of her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Marinette.”

[odetothestars]

Once again a very incoherent, not spell checked, all over the place ramble that might not make any sense (lmk if I need to clarify something)

But I think this one is kinda important? At least, it is to me. Before you decide how you feel about this, do me a favour and at least try to actually read/digest it first!

Something I think desperately needs to happen within multiple fandoms is working through your internalized misogyny…because people on this app are a little too comfortable stereotyping, belittling, sexualizing, devaluing, and just generally disrespecting women or fem presenting people. It’s usually pretty subtle, but the micro aggressions are definitely there.

I see fics where the only time female characters are mentioned is if they pipe in to say something snarky or when male characters are talking about their appearance/desire to sleep with them.

The example of misogyny that I see the most often is in mlm ship writing where one of the characters tagged as fem!x and that character is very often portrayed/described as:

- “Emotional, dramatic, whiny, clingy, soft, delicate, fragile”

- They’re dependent, usually being provided for by someone else

- They’re the subordinate/“beta” in a relationship

- They’re “helpless” and need protecting

- They’re interested shallow things (appearance, money, class, etc.)

- They have an “attitude”

- Their hobbies consist of baking, shopping, decorating

- They’re looked at like a trophy, something pretty to win and own

- There’s a strong emphasis of their appearance (slender, rosy cheeks, sharp features) and sexuality especially

I’m sure many of you have read at least one fic tagged as fem!*insert male chatacter name here* and this is the character description you were shown, no?

Before you yell at me, there is nothing inherently wrong about that characterization! It’s completely fine to live your life that way, it’s okay to be into superficial things, it’s okay to want to be protected, it’s okay to have someone provide for you, etc. Slay however you want!

My problem is that this characterization is NOT A TRUE REFLECTION OF WHAT FEMININITY IS. The issue isn’t in these traits themselves, I have some of those traits myself, the problem is using these traits to prove that a character is more feminine. It’s so stereotypical, surface level, and old-fashioned, and reduces the beauty of being feminine to a caricature. Whether you like it or not, whether you mean it or not, this is misogyny. Feminine people/characters can be strong, brave, intelligent, hardworking, independent. Being feminine is something that I’m very proud of, and I hate seeing it be reduced to something it isn’t. This is deeper than just not personally liking the way a character is written. This is misogyny.

Not to mention the super masc x super fem characterization is super heteronormative and also a stereotype in itself but I digress.

I’m not telling anyone they need to drop these kinds of characterizations, I’m just saying you should probably take a good minute to reflect on your motives and how you really feel think about femininity deep down. Is it something you truly views as inferior? Why? Do you want to change that? What are some ways can you?

Don’t even get me started on the literal abuse of fem characters in fics and novels. Yes, there are pieces of fiction where masc characters are victims, which is horrifying, I just see it the most often against fem characters. It’s absolutely disgusting that people are romanticizing and glorifying abuse of anyone, but that’s a topic for another time.

I typically subscribe to “don’t like don’t read” unless we’re talking about stuff the is genuinely offensive or harmful to an entire group of people. If I see an au, ship, plot, or general writing style I don’t particularly like, I will simply swipe passed and move on with my day (you should to). But when fics are written with any kind of internal bias (misogyny, homophobia *including heteronormativity*, transphobia, racism, etc.) behind them or have elements of glorified abuse, there is a genuine issue and I’m not just gonna scroll and pretend that it isn’t super fucked up, because it is. It’s fucked up! Touch grass and breath fresh air PLEASE.

Sure, I can’t stop anyone from writing or reading what they want, they’re free to do so, but that means they are also free to deal with criticisms of it.

If this upset anyone, I genuinely am very sorry, it wasn’t be intention to offend you. Unpacking things like internalized bias can be really difficult, but I think it’s important to have conversations like this so we can learn and grow from each other. Feel free to share you thoughts, try to be respectful if you can:)

*Tags are not a direct call out to any ship or fandom. I have seen this in multiple different fandoms with multiple different ships. This is just a primarily HP blog, hence why tags are HP*

[ghostlykeyes]

TANTALUS, PT. 2

As a mysterious devil claims victims across Tokyo, you struggle to come to terms with your love for your best friend, roommate, and fuckbuddy, Denji.

AO3 Link: Here! Warnings: Canon-typical violence, descriptions of corpses, casual sex, scenes with food/eating, no happy ending. Notes: No-Nayuta AU. Denji stays in Public Safety after the events of CSM. Set a few years after the end of vol. 11. Gender Neutral.

The morning you’re back at work, Ichika approaches your desk. She’s wearing a nice skirt, a perfume that smells distinctly like peony, and the sort of gentle, genuine smile you’d see on a kindergarten teacher that loves their job. She’s cute, she’s sweet, and despite your best efforts to remain neutral, you think you might hate her a little bit.

“Good morning!” She greets cheerfully, stopping a respectful distance from your desk. There’s a glass tupperware tucked in her hands, filled with something bright yellow, and you eye it suspiciously. Ichika either doesn’t notice you glaring or she doesn’t care, and offers you a short bow. “I’m so glad to see you’re back at work!”

You plaster on a smile and give her a stiff nod, but she’s already scanning the area next to your desk—where Denji usually sits. Her bright smile falters almost imperceptibly, like when the clouds flick over the sun for just a moment.

“Um,” she starts nervously, giving you a hesitant look. “Is Denji okay? He didn’t say anything about missing work today, but…”

White swims over your knuckles as your hands clench tight fists around the grip of your crutches. 

“He’s okay,” you say, silently willing your voice to stay bland, neutral. Like plain, unbuttered toast. “He’s on a trip.”

He does this trip every year at about the same time. He won’t go into specifics. Just says that he’s visiting a family grave. But your eyes don’t miss the way that his gaze hangs over the photo of Aki that’s framed up in the living room, and it tells you what Denji won’t say out loud.

You won’t push him. You never do.

It’s comforting, sometimes, knowing you’re not the only one that’s bad at talking about your feelings.

“...caring for some old relatives that got sick,” you finish, swallowing the lump in your throat. You don’t feel guilty lying to her. If he didn’t say anything to her about his trip, you’ll protect his secret. 

“Oooooooh,” Ichika nods, a pinkish glow clouding her cheeks. “That does sound like Denji—so selfless!”

You actually have to physically restrain yourself from laughing out loud. Denji, selfless. He literally stole your leftovers like, two days ago.

“Naaaah,” you say, “he pushes me out of the way to get to the shower constantly. He’s only selfless maybe, ten percent of the time.” 

Anyone else might think it’s a light joke at Denji’s expense, but there’s a challenge hidden underneath. A statement. You might be flirting with him, but I live with him, bitch. 

Ichika doesn’t notice. Or she does, and doesn’t take the bait. Instead she covers her mouth with a thin-fingered, perfectly-manicured hand and lets out a delicate, sweet laugh that’s nothing like yours. Your jaw tightens.

Once Ichika’s bell-like laugh ceases tinkling, she bows to you again. This time, she presents the Tupperware to you. You resist the urge to wrinkle your nose at it.

“Well, hopefully he’ll at least be selfless enough to share these with you. I know you’re still healing and your body needs rest and good food, but you need a treat every now and again too, you know? Otherwise life gets so bland.”

You don’t move to take it, leaning on your crutches as an excuse. She watches awkwardly for a moment, eyes darting between you and the baked goods, before she finally clears her throat semi-nervously and sets the container on the corner of your desk. “They’re lemon bars,” she fills the silence. “I thought Denji might like citrus. I hope you do as well!”

Something petty coiled up deep inside you wants to let her know that actually, lemon is one of the only things Denji turns his nose up at.

Be an adult, you tell yourself. Resist!

You plaster a smile over the twisting disdain in your gut and regard Ichika with a look that you hope is work-appropriate, and not mildly threatening. 

“Thank you,” you manage, although your voice comes out a little choked around the edges. Ichika beams at you, and bows again, and you’re reminded of a puppy.

Not the cute kind. The clingy, over-eager kind that yaps a lot. 

“I have to get back to work,” she apologizes, and a knot of tension instantly unwinds from your shoulders. “But again, I hope you heal quickly and I’m glad to have you back with us.” She begins to twirl a piece of hair around her finger. “Will…will you ask Denji to call me? Either when he gets back, or—“

“Sure.”

 She smiles thankfully and bows—that’s four, now, in a three minute conversation, she’s at an average of over one bow a minute—and the tap of her short but tastefully work-appropriate kitten heels recedes as she takes her leave. She waves shyly at you, over her shoulder, before she rounds the corner and disappears down a hallway. You offer a half-hearted wiggle of your fingers back.

You will not be asking Denji to call her. 

The interaction sticks on your mind like glue for the rest of the day. When you get home, Denji isn’t back from his trip yet, so you sit down with the glass tupperware and delicately pull a perfectly square lemon bar from the container. Gently, you take a bite from the corner. The flavor of citrus floods your mouth, and the powdered sugar dusted on top sticks softly to your fingertips.

It’s delicious, you think bitterly. Of course it is . 

You finish the lemon bar and throw the rest, tupperware and all, into the garbage can.

It wasn’t always this complicated. It used to be pretty simple, actually; Denji was your decently-attractive best friend, and you fucked every so often to take the edge off of a bad day. (And neither of you mentioned how often these bad days had become.) You’d be stupid to ruin your friendship with romance, so you didn’t even consider it. Until, well…

It wasn’t a slow fall, thick and sweet like maple syrup, in the way that some people describe the realization they’re in love. It was a stupidly normal night and you were standing on the sidewalk under the dull red glow of a cheap izakaya’s sign. Above you, the dark midnight clouds promised rain. You ignored them. You’d focused instead on a pay phone, telling Denji about the absolute disaster of a date you’d just endured. 

“So, yeah,” you drawl into the receiver, “turns out Asahi from downstairs actually has a girlfriend…”

“What the shit!?” Denji yells, and you have to pull the phone away from your ear before his outrage blows out your eardrum. “That scumbag!”

“Yeah…” you sigh. Truthfully, you couldn’t force yourself to be as disappointed as you probably should be. Asahi was nice. He always offered to help carry your groceries up the stairs. He was handsome, too, in a very plain, inoffensive way, like a bland Ken doll paired with an astronaut Barbie. And the way he laid you down in the backseat of his car felt…not bad. If one of your friends wiggled her eyebrows at you salaciously and asked y’know, how is he? you’d probably laugh shyly behind your hand and say he was good at sex.

But he didn’t do it like Denji did it.

You couldn’t figure out why that bothered you. 

But it did. It caught in your brain like a song stuck in your head, and it was definitely just as annoying, and you felt it every time Asahi’s hands started traveling up your thighs.

Not Denji. Not Denji. Not Denji.

So, truth be told you probably wouldn’t be crying over Asahi later, once you got home. Still. Two months was a long time to waste on someone else’s lies. That’s what stung, really; your wasted time.

“D’ya want me to say somethin’ to him?” Denji offers, sounding a little too excited. Knowing Denji, their ‘talk’ would end with Asahi holding a bag of frozen peas over a black eye. Which doesn’t sound too bad, honestly, except for the fact that he still lives one floor down and going around beating the shit out of the neighbors is probably not the best idea.

“It’s fine, Denj,” you assure, getting ready to call a cab. “Not worth getting in trouble. I already threw my drink on him, that’ll have to be good enough.”

“Naaawwwwww,” he drawls, and you can tell from the way his voice drags along that he’s thinking hard (which is never good). “He cheated on you.We gotta teach him a lesson he’s never gonna forget.” 

You run a hand through your hair and blow a hard sigh out of your mouth. 

“Denji,” you whine, “I really just want to go home right now. We can brainstorm another night if you’re still that invested—“

Denji cuts you off with a short bark of laughter, loud enough to make you jerk the phone away from your ear and wince. You’re about to cuss him out for the damage he’s just done to your hearing, but he’s already chattering at you again.

“Just stay there,” he instructs. “I’m gonna come pick you up.” 

You snort, at that. 

“You and what car, dipshit?” He doesn’t have a license, either. Or spare change for a cab.

“ Ten minutes! Don’t move!” He purposefully dodges your question, but before you can keep needling him his voice is replaced by a mechanical beeping. That man just hung up on you. Rude. 

So you sigh, again. You push your hair back out of your face, and you plop down on the curb, completely ignoring the grumbling of passers-by whose paths you’ve interrupted. They’ll get over it. 

Ten minutes melts into eleven, into twelve, into thirteen. Here and there, you can feel the light flcik of a raindrop on your cheek, your nose, your forehead. Seldom enough to convince you that maybe you’re imagining it, often enough to convince you that maybe it’s time to call Denji and say whatever he’s thinking, just forget it , the only thing you want to get soaked by tonight is a hot fucking shower. 

You’ve made up your mind to bail when it weaves its reckless way through traffic, rolling to a chaotic stop in front of you. You’d recognize the blacked out windows and crack in the bumper anywhere. Asahi’s car. 

Three things happen, then, that shock you equally, but all in different ways.

First, the window rolls down, and it’s Denji sitting in the driver’s seat, not Asahi. He’s wearing a shark-tooth-shit-eating grin (the one you usually see after he beats the shit out of a devil and there’s a pretty girl in a skirt crying ‘thank you’), and his pajamas.

Second, he tries to put the thing in park, but he accidentally pushes when he should’ve pulled and Asahi’s car slams into the parked car ahead of him. An alarm instantly screams and his eyes go wide and yes, this is probably a sufficient explanation why he can’t pass a driver’s training test. 

“Goddamnit!” He bursts, and at this point pedestrians are starting to crowd around the minor accident, necks craning to get a better view of the chaos. You know that you should probably be scrambling off the curb and getting the hell away from the crumpled back-end of this Honda, but you can’t move. 

Because of the third shock. 

Which has you absolutely frozen to the sidewalk.

And it’s that your heart did a flip in your chest when you saw that window sliding down, and it was Denji’s messy hair and sparking eyes on the other side. Something young and carefree, but relieved. Like it had just figured out the trick behind an optical illusion it had been staring at for embarrassingly long.

Something unmistakably romantic.

“Yer ride’s here!” His laugh shakes out of the rolled-down window, pushing through the crowd. It’s enough to thaw you out of the trance. Pedestrian voices crowd your ears as you stumble to your feet.

“ Holy shit, did he just hit that guy on purpose?”

“Why isn’t he getting out of the car?”

“I think maybe somebody should call the authorities…”

“ Jesus Christ, Denji,” you hiss, under your breath. You’re throwing elbows and shoving through people and tasting panic as you realize there’s a police station nearby. Thankfully Denji’s had the bright idea to fling open the passenger door for you, in service of a hasty getaway. The leather seats squeak against your thighs as you scramble in. You yank the door shut behind you, hard enough that the slam seems to shake and ripple through the watchers outside.

“What the fuck,” you wheeze. “How did you even—“

“Dumbass leaves his spare key in his potted plant, just like we do,” Denji cackles. 

“Wouldn’t that make us dumbasses, too?” 

But Denji doesn’t answer. He gives you a quick shrug, and then his hand splays out over the back of your seat. A whiff of the generic “man” scented soap he uses just barely tickles your nose. Heat explodes across your cheeks—here it is again. That romantic feeling. Your eyes catch on the slope of his nose; how his lip is pulled between his dagger teeth in concentration. He’s craning his neck, trying to back up. Denji’s rough hands spin the wheel gentle but firm. The air is too warm and the inside of the car is too small and all you have to do to kiss him is lean in, just a little bit, it could happen so quick—

But then Denji’s heavy foot is a little too eager on the gas, and the crunch of metal shatters the moment like glass. Both of you lurch forward. Your hand shoots out to steady yourself on the dash. 

“Fuck!” Denji yells from the driver’s seat. 

Of course he reversed into the goddamn car behind you.

“Oh my fucking god,” you moan, head falling into your hands. This is probably how you die. Not in a blaze of glory ripping down a devil, but in your douchebag ex’s stolen car. Beside you, Denji is just overflowing with laughter. 

“Oh, this shit is not gonna be driveable by the time we’re done with it.” He grabs your leg, right above your knee, and he jostles you. Like he’s trying to shake the uneasiness right out. And somehow, it works a little. His eyes lock on yours, and they glow brighter than all the neon signs up and down this strip of bars, combined. Your heart stumbles again. 

Why is it doing that? What is going on with you?

But it doesn’t matter, because you’re laughing. He’s vibrating with laughter and excitement and the unmistakable thrill of grand theft auto, so you are, too. Denji’s infectious. He floods you completely and all of your concerns and inhibitions wash away. Just like that; in one open-mouth grin. His hands grip the wheel again and he steps on the gas. 

Fuck it. Stealing your ex’s car suddenly sounds like a great idea. Who cares if a hundred people just saw you barrel into two other cars? The police don’t do shit to devil hunters, anyway. You’ll probably be fine. (Unless this night somehow devolves from petty car theft to murder, or something, and in that case, well. Did anyone ever really like Asahi, anyway?)

Denji’s more careful with you in the passenger seat. Both of his hands wrap firmly around the steering wheel, and he’s cautious not to pound the brakes at red lights. He always checks his blind spot before smoothly merging lanes; your eyes always stumble on the smooth slope of his adam’s apple as his neck stretches. You’ve had your mouth on that neck maybe a hundred times, but something about it feels brand-new inside the bubble of this moment. It tickles something in your core. Something camping out between hunger and want. Something delicious, and entirely too much to handle. 

You close your eyes. Denji lit a cigarette maybe three miles back, and the smoke mixes with his soap and threads through your nostrils. Guitar notes from Denji’s favorite song rip out of the car radio, volume cranked as far as the knob would budge. The highway air stings your skin. The night is warm, just beyond your rolled-down window, and the rain has backed off but left a humid taste and smell lingering behind. The atmosphere hums kindly and warmly like the Friday night of a weekend trip. Inside the car, work doesn’t exist, and you never have to worry about what to make for dinner, and shitty cheating ex-boyfriends mean absolutely nothing.

There’s only Denji.

And when you open your eyes again, you know.

You are in love.

Denji abruptly cuts the ribbon of highway off when you’re a handful of miles outside the city, when the streetlights have melted into tall, swaying trees. The car glides to a comfortable stop on the side of the road, facing a steep, jagged drop-off. Denji twists the key in the ignition, and the engine mutters into silence

“Should we shove the car down there?” He asks.

“I think it would be a shame to leave it up here where anyone could just, take it or something,” you reason. 

Both of you scramble out of the car, squeaking against the leather seats and bubbling over with giggles. Denji spreads his hands against the car's back end. His lean back muscles stretch under his fog-grey pajama shirt in a way that makes sweat bead up on the palms of your hands. You throw your shoulder into the car, bowing your head; half to help push, half to hide the heat consuming your cheeks. 

“Think it’ll explode?” 

“Oh,” you laugh, “I really hope so.”

Denji’s packed with muscle and so the wheels turn obediently. He gives a grunt and swears once or twice and the front tires are already at the edge, sending loose gravel skittering down the cliff face. It takes one good, hard shove and then the car is tipping dangerously for a moment. Denji snatches your hand and scrambles backwards. For a very slow-moving second, Asahi’s car trembles and leans, like it’s trying to decide if it really wants to tumble down or not. Despite the fact that there’s a literal car about to to roll down a cliff to its death, you’re distracted. Asahi’s car is nothing compared to the gentle pink of Denji’s lips. Inside this moment, they are everything. Your world is neatly packed into the warm comfort of the way his mouth stretches to fit his smile. You want to kiss him, hard. So that he knows without any words that you love him. 

Wholly, passionately, forever.

And then the car makes up its mind to fall. It tips over the edge and performs a dramatic somersault, and the crumpling metal is probably the loudest thing you’ve ever heard. The glass shatters into a fine glittering stardust and the stench of gasoline stings your senses. Beside you, Denji yells holy shit! and leans over the edge to watch the car come apart. The shark-tooth grin on his face is so wide and so sharp you think it might be permanent. Your heart squeezes, and you don’t ask why.

It’s weird, considering you found out you’d been cheated on maybe two hours ago, but this might be the best night of your life.

The car doesn’t explode, unfortunately, but it was a good show and you can’t complain. After it screeches to a deafening stop at the bottom of the ravine, you flee. At first, you break into a jog—probably don’t want to get caught near the smoking wreck of a stolen car, after all—but Denji shrugs at you, stuffs his hands into his pajama pockets, and smiles lazily.

“C’mon, man,” he calls, footsteps easy and slow. “Nice night. Why not enjoy the walk back?” 

The stars stretch out in a thick bright blanket, and the cool night air blows across you so kindly, like it knows you’re in love. He’s right. You make a big show of rolling your eyes, and heaving a big sigh, but you jog back to his side anyway. He shakes a hand out of his pocket, and snakes a warm arm over your shoulders. You sigh, happy. Life has never tasted so sweet.

It’s a long walk back to Tokyo, but Denji’s skinny arm is slung around your shoulders the entire way, so you don’t mind a single step.

[outivv]

— Claymore characters picking you up —

Synopsis: when cubby/ plus sized y/n gets picked up by one of the claymore characters they think that they’re too heavy for them

Warnings: none!

Characters: beidou, razor, noelle, and chongyun

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello all you amazing people! I really enjoyed making the Diluc one, and got a request to do all the claymore characters (which ofc I’m not opposed to) so I decided to make this a series cause why not! I hope you enjoy and have a glorious day/afternoon/night!

Edit: I forgot xinyan... :’)

— Beidou —

The captain of the crux was a noble, and strong woman. No one dared to doubt her or look down upon her. And it’s not that you did necessarily, but in the back of your brain you did doubt that she could pick you up.

So when one day you were celebrating a huge victory for the ship she picked you up, and cheered in victory hoping that you would do the same.

Though she was mistaken when you squirmed and looked like you desperately wanted to get away. She instantly put you down thinking she hurt you or made you uncomfortable. “Are you alright? I’m sorry.” She said fear on her face at the thought of making you upset.

When you told her though that you thought she couldn’t carry you due to you thinking you were too heavy for her. She was relieved and let you a laugh. “Oh thank god. I thought I hurt you! But no love you’re not too heavy I can pick you up with ease!” She said picking you up again, and just like she said she would, she did it with absolute ease.

From that day forward she’d pick you up regularly, to remind you that you’re not too heavy and that she loves you :)

— razor —

Razor has a bit of trouble swinging around his claymore, though he regularly try’s to pick you up. He doesn’t care if you’re too heavy for him he’s going to do it. And it’s gonna be adorable. >:(

The first time he tried to pick you up he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kinda dropped you and then fell. So now you’re worried that you’re too heavy for him.

But, as time goes by he gets stronger. And he tried again, this time he picked you up with ease. Though you rightfully didn’t want to be dropped again so you squirmed in his arms. Now he has a good grip on you and is holding you really close cause he’s feel bad if he dropped you again. “Stop it.” He says and it’s quite stern, for he’s lowkey worried.

Now personally I think razor would be intimidating when he gets serious, so I’m just gonna say that you stoped pretty shortly after he said that. “You are... uncomfortable...?” He said assuming that. When you explained to him that you thought you were too heavy because of last time he only said, “no! Razor strong now! Razor can pick you up easily!” With a determined look on his face. Please he’s so cute

Please tell him he’s doing a good job, it’ll make his face light up with excitement. After that he’ll pick you up fairly often, and he typically does it with no... actual reason behind it? He just did it cause he wanted to, what do you mean it’s not appropriate in the middle of the streets in mondstadt? Does he look like he cares? He just wants to hold you, and genuinely doesn’t care what others think.

— chongyun —

You typically go with Chongyun on missions to exercise demons, mostly so you’ll lure them out and then he exercises them. Not very safe but it works, so who am I to complain?

Though this time you twisted your ankle, because you tripped on air walking up the steep, steep hill to where a supposed demon was. I’ve actually done that lmao

Chongyun was extremely worried about you, and wanted to get you somewhere that could help you. Though you couldn’t walk, so how was he supposed to get you there? By carrying you that’s how.

So he swiftly picked you up, and started to head down the hill. The issue wasn’t with your weight it was with going down a steep hill, while carrying someone.

You quickly started squirming, and protesting for him to put you down but in confusion he said, “what? No, you’re injured and can’t walk it would be ignorant to make you walk down the hill. It could make your injury worse.” He has a valid point. So you stoped squirming and rested your head on his shoulder. You kept asking if you were too heavy and he simply replied with a “no you’re fine.” Every time.

I don’t think he’d pick you up often unless you’re in situations like this, where you’re injured and need it. But he’ll pick you up if you ask!

— Noelle —

No one had a second thought about noelle’s strength, and while sometimes she wasn’t too confident about her strength she still understands that she is strong to some sort of degree.

One day you two were going to be baking! Though you needed some ingredient that was in the top, top shelf. (I apologize if you’re tall but i didn’t want her thing to be the same as Chongyun :’) ) you struggled for a second before contemplating going to get the ladder or just getting up on the countertops and getting it. Both get the job done.

Though noelle saw you struggling and instantly reacted with picking you up to get it. It was odd cause it was a natural reaction and she didn’t know she did it until you were in her arms looking at her confused and shocked. “O-oh I’m sorry! I’ll put you down.” She said her face trying a light pink. “Oh yeah... haha I bet I’m too heavy anyway.” You commented as she put you down.

Your comment shocked noelle, because you were light as a feather to her? How could anyone think that you were heavy, she picked you up without a second thought, and didn’t struggle one bit! She contemplated your comment before saying, “what? Oh no you’re not heavy! I didn’t struggle one bit!” Now it was your turn to be shocked, you thought maybe she was just being nice but noelle wasn’t one to lie like that? So you beloved her, like the good s/o you are

After that I highly doubt that she’d pick you up too often, mostly just because she gets embarrassed. Don’t get me wrong she actually enjoys picking you up! But she doesn’t want to make you embarrassed/uncomfy, so you’d have to ask her if you want her to pick you up.

[nat-20s]

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad. 

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show  applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of  a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon:  No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true.  Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look. 

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

[amajikilvr]

ugh i love your fluffy alphabet on tamaki 🥺 so if it's okay, can you do one for bakugou, too?

headcanon corner - katsuki bakugou sfw alphabet

word count 1.8k

reader type gender-neutral

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

In the beginning, Katsuki’s affection will come out quite stubbornly and will be harder to see at times. Later on, it’s obvious how much he cares for you. His heart is full of love despite his aggressive attitude. He’s not afraid to show PDA, no matter who’s watching, and you’re often the recipient of his rare compliments. Katsuki is always ready to say “I love you”.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

That’s a tricky one. Befriending people isn’t exactly on Katuski’s radar, but he’d prefer someone who could “keep up with him” if so to speak. Reliable helps too. This friendship might start with him genuinely, although reluctantly, praising your quirk or skills.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

“This is fuckin’ stupid,” He’ll mumble as he wraps his strong arms around you, but he’s loving every minute of it. Katsuki’s down to snuggle in front of everyone, but if you’re the one initiating, he’ll be a tad bit embarrassed and no one dares point it out. When you two are completely alone you’ll get to see his softer side and you might even be the big spoon for once.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’ll want to settle down in a sense that he needs to be sure that they’re his and he’s theirs. The method of doing so will depend on what’s best for both of you, but moving in together is probably in the cards. Katsuki makes a fantastic roommate because, among his many talents, cooking is one of them. He’s also a bit of a clean fanatic and you might wake up to him vacuuming or doing the dishes at 7 AM or something.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Firstly, he would fight tooth-and-nail against whatever was threatening the relationship because he’s not letting you go easily. If it absolutely came down to ending things, Katsuki would make it straight to the point and as quick as possible. He wouldn’t be able to remain ‘just friends’ with you and would never truly move on in his heart.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

Katsuki is beyond committed and he firmly believes there are several ways to show it besides putting a ring on it. If you two were to eventually get married it would be later on so your careers could be focused on. He just wants you both to succeed and achieve your dreams more than anything, but if the marriage was something you really wanted, he might consider tying the knot earlier than previously planned.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Although I think Katsuki is actually a sensitive person, he can definitely be on the rough side of things. He can read and interpret others’ emotions, but relating to them can be a challenge. I don’t believe he’d ever act maliciously towards you or anyone else he cares for. He’s got a soft touch and even the occasional kind words during the most surprising times.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Katsuki’s a bigger fan of kisses, but he does love hugs! He’s always, well, touching you. Huge bear hugs. Squeezy. Warm. The type to literally lift you off of your feet. He’ll leave little tickling kisses on your neck and shoulders while whispering words against your skin.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He’ll say the words in every possible way… besides actually saying the words. It’s like a mental block of Katsuki’s because he’s admittedly scared of proclaiming his love in such a straight-forward way. Once he gets over that first hump, it’s no problem for him. He won’t be throwing the words around like candy, but he’ll always say what’s on his mind.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Katsuki is emotional and jealousy is a familiar feeling for him. Being a bit of a hothead definitely doesn’t help either. This jealousy stems from his insecurities and can be overbearing. At the beginning of the relationship, it will probably be the cause of some arguments between you two. Later on, jealous Katsuki will just include him being extra pissy and extra cuddly.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Passionate. Always. If he’s kissing you, he’s going all the way. Even during your first kiss, he gave it his all. Sure, it was an awkward mess of spit and teeth, but he was eager and didn’t hesitate! Katsuki’s skills have improved by now and he never fails to showcase them. It doesn’t matter where, if he’s kissing you, then he’s happy. It depends on your preferences. And as for him… his neck is especially sensitive and he’ll never admit it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Well, after the remedial lessons episode, we know he’s not very good. At all. Despite that, I can imagine him still wanting kids eventually. An “I can’t stand any kid except my own” type.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Katsuki is your typical morning person. He’s up at the same time every day and it amazes you. Well, unless you’re a morning person yourself, that is. If you’re a heavy sleeper then waking you up on time will be his new personal mission. He’ll probably make you a nice breakfast and get as many kisses as he can in before work.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Haha! This guy goes to bed at like 9-pm. He’s got a strict schedule and if you somehow manage to get him to stay up later to watch a movie with you or something, he’s gonna fall asleep on your lap and it’s adorable. It’s the perfect opportunity to play with his soft hair without having to hear him grumble about it the entire time.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It’s going to take a while to break through his outer shell, but he’s not exactly secretive about his feelings and his past. Katsuki trusts you enough to be open with his mistakes and he won’t hide anything if you just ask.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I think this one is a bit self-explanatory, but it’s not very often that he gets angry at you.He’s getting better at controlling his anger and you tend to bring out his gentler side too.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

In the moment, it may seem like simply he brushes it off or doesn’t really acknowledge it, but that’s actually not the case. Katsuki always remembers and takes everything into consideration. The number of little things he keeps notes of might surprise.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

One Saturday afternoon, Katsuki decided he was going to try out a new chocolate cake recipe and you decided you’d try your hand at baking for once! He was absolutely willing to teach you and it was going well… until you somehow managed to drop an egg yolk right on Katsuki’s sock covered foot. His favorite pair of socks at that. The kitchen was quiet until he swifty flicked flour at your forehead and it was game-on from there. The next thirty minutes were filled with lots of flour and kisses.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Katsuki couldn’t be more protective of you and he’s more than willing to use his quirk if needed. He’s prepared to fight for you in the blink of an eye, no question about it. His job as a pro-hero means so much when you’re someone he has to protect, but he also knows it’s a mutual feeling. He completely believes in your own physical abilities to keep him safe and your reassuring words make him truly feel like the greatest.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s certainly not lazy when it comes to your relationship, but at the same time, Katsuki finds things like fancy dates and lavish gifts kinda pointless. He couldn’t care less about eating at an expensive restaurant, all that matters is that he’s with you. That’s not to say that he won’t give you nice things because he will be spoiling you, especially on anniversaries and holidays.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His inferiority complex has always been his biggest enemy. There are times when he just can’t shut off his competitive side and it can turn things ugly when he lets his insecurities get the best of him. His temper is also something he’s struggled with and is still learning how to manage.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Katsuki really doesn’t care about that kind of thing. Of course, it does fuel his ego and boost his confidence when you compliment his looks. He considers himself to be an attractive person, but nothing too special. (You think differently)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He likes to believe otherwise, but yeah, he really would. He couldn’t imagine a day without you. It’s just a scary thing for Katsuki to accept that he relies on someone other than himself for once.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He’ll never admit it, but spiders really freak him out. Let’s just say he won’t argue if you offer to take one outside.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who gives up easily would just kinda irritate him. Katsuki knows people struggle, hell, he’s definitely one of them, but seeing someone simply not try and throw in the towel when things don’t go their way is something that would get on his nerves.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He’s somehow got a cute snore. Yup. It’s not even really a snore, more like some kind of soft breathing noise, but it’s noticeable and something you’ve grown to love. It’s also difficult for Katsuki to fall asleep in places other than his own bed.

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

@undercat-overdog: For the character ask: Young Griff/Faegon? Or Dany, if you want to talk about her instead!

Why not both? I don’t actually have very strong feelings about Young Griff in general, though >.<

Dany

How I feel about this character

Lol, everyone here already knows how I feel about Daenerys Targaryen. Short answer: I LOVE HER. 

Long answer: Okay, it’s just hard for me to break down why I love Dany so much. I think it boils down to how seamlessly the different aspects of her personality blend together, and what kind of person they create. Dany doesn’t have one side that’s cheerful and protective and another side that can be hot-tempered and stern, they go together. The “Mhysa” aspect of her, the one that protects and nurtures, is not in opposition with her “Mother of Dragons” title, the one that can be fierce and impulsive - she’s the Mother of Dragons because she’s Mhysa! If she turns to violence it always comes from a desire to protect. I’ve seen lots of characters where their “violent” side is played up as a contrast to their “sweet” side, to emphasize how jarringly different these two facades of them are, but that’s not at all the case with Dany. They go together.

Besides that, I just love her as a person? Even after all she’s been through, she’s so lively and sweet and loving! But at the same time she’s a queen and a conqueror and a very competent ruler despite having no formal training, and that dichotomy just gets me. This delicate, friendly girl is the mother of dragons, is working to overturn an entire system of dehumanization and oppression, and is a revolutionary leader with the loyalty, love, and faith of so many people. And I like how there are no “easy” fixes in her arc - she’s doing the best she can, she makes mistakes, she learns from them, but she’s also clearly doing really good? She meets with her people, hears and tries to fix their concerns, she works on irrigation, crops, and trade relations, all while concerning herself with the threat of the Sons of the Harpy, too.

On an out-of-universe level, I’ve honestly never come across a female character quite like her. She has power in her own right, as the heir of the Targaryen dynasty, instead of her ties with a man. She’s a revolutionary leader. She’s the chosen hero of many prophecies. She has a goal of reclaiming her birthright as a ruler. All of those things, in modern fantasy, are typically given to male heroes most of the time. She’s pretty much a female power fantasy. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Jon! I used to not really care for Jonerys, and Dany is still my favorite by far, but I’ve grown to like Jon a lot too. I love how their arcs parallel each other, I love how both of them are, like, trying desperately to convince the people around them about basic human rights amidst throngs of protest and upheaval, and that they both defy social norms. They’re the same age, they’re both stubborn, they’re both very intelligent and politically astute, they both have a strong sense of justice.

And pssst I also have a Jon/Dany/Tyrion ot3 bias... Jon and Tyrion are already pretty friendly and I enjoyed their interactions, and I’m absolutely in love with that speech about Dany that Tyrion gave to Faegon, the “I know that she spent her childhood in exile[...]” one. Plus, I was very amused when Tyrion was scoffing about how Dany will bake everyone lemon pies and kiss their wounds all better... and meanwhile there’s Dany, literally out among the sick, taking care of them with her own hands, shaming all the grown men in her entourage into helping her. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Honestly, I love all of Dany’s interactions with Team Targaryen, but I have a particular soft spot for Dany and Missandei. That interaction between Dany and Missandei, when Dany tells Missandei she’s always welcome to go back to Naath if she wants, and Missandei says she feels safe with Dany... that always gets me. And Dany calls her “my sweet”!

My unpopular opinion about this character

Not sure if this is unpopular? But... I don’t think Dany’s going to be angry or threatened when she finds out about Faegon. I think she’ll be happy that she has family left! Dany struggles with the burden of being the last Targaryen, as far as she knows, and I think it’s pretty out of character for her to be “threatened by a potential rival”, rather than glad that she may have someone to share the weight with. Dany wants to be queen because she believes it’s her duty to her family. Not because she wants to be a leader, or because she wants power, or anything that would warrant her feeling threatened if she finds out that (supposedly) her brother’s son, whom she believed was brutally murdered as an infant, is still alive. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

This isn’t necessarily something I wish would happen, but I’d be totally satisfied if Dany went back to Essos after defeating the Others, rather than take up Westeros’ throne. (That said, I’d be totally satisfied if she became ruling queen of Westeros, too.) I for one find Essos much more interesting than Westeros, and I love the thought of Dany continuing her crusade against slavery and working to dismantle it even further. While I do think she’s going to do something to resolve the situation in the coming books (ha, assuming they even come out), I just can’t imagine that it’s possible to deal with something as deep-rooted as slavery in one fell swoop. Even after Dany becomes queen of Meereen and works to abolish it, we can see that the problems and the prejudices remain. I’d love for her to continue having a part in getting rid of that. 

Faegon

How I feel about this character

Hmmm. I’m not very invested in Faegon as a character by himself, so, like I said above, I don’t have strong opinions on him. That said, I don’t think he’s all that bad - clearly spoiled and immature, but he’s just doing what people tell him to do. 

I’m more interested in how he’s very much a foil to Dany. While his training was meant to give him, essentially, a common person’s mindset, so that he could be a good ruler who takes care of his people, he hasn’t actually had the character building that was intended for him during that training, because, at the end of the day, he was fine - there were people who’d come in and protect him if something happened. That contrasts Dany, who’s actually experienced terror, poverty, and helplessness, and has never had anyone to defend her during those times. Faegon hasn’t built the same empathy and compassion as Dany because he hasn’t genuinely experienced the hardships of common people. And I love how GRRM makes that clear in their personalities, even though Dany and Faegon have never actually met. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I guess... no one? I do have a slight fondness for the idea of a reverse Targaryen (or at least Valyrian) conqueror trio, where Dany is Aegon and Jon and Faegon are her husbands. But for Dany ot3′s I’d much rather go for Jon/Dany/Tyrion, so...

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I mean... I guess it’s sad how Jon Connington is determined to protect Rhaegar’s son even though he believed he failed Rhaegar himself. Of course, though... Faegon not being actually Aegon... 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Err, nothing really. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Hm. I think it would be interesting if Dany and Faegon actually reach a genuine alliance. Of course, given their positions, this is very unlikely if not outright impossible - no way that the people backing Faegon will let that happen. But they’re both some of the few remaining Valyrians in Westeros, so something in me finds the idea appealing. 

[mummybear]

Cowboys And Kisses

This Is Day 16 Of Roleplay May

Words: 2922

Warnings: Smut, Swearing, Cowboy Kink, Face Riding, Biting, Marking, Slight Size Kink, Scratching, Dirty Talk. Think That’s It.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean and Sam leave you at the bunker when they go out on a hunt, they’re gone for so much longer than anyone expected, on one of the last calls with Dean what he was wearing had really struck a chord within you. With something that you were trying your hardest to keep hidden. So what happens when they come home?

A/N: So sorry this is late wanted to get it right and it just wasn’t working with my brain there for a bit lol :P Enjoy ;)

You were so bored home alone for the first time in what felt like forever, Sam and Dean had gone on a hunt almost a week ago now. You’d been left at home with the flu, but you’d started to feel better two days after they had left, since then you wanted nothing more than to keep yourself busy. You’d been doing everything you could think of, not that any of it really helped, baking, cleaning the bunker, cleaning and checking weapons. Honestly, you’d completely lost count of the amount of odd jobs you’d done.

Both brothers had called and texted you almost every day since they’d been gone, just to make sure that you were okay, no doubt knowing that in your position they would be going stir crazy as well. You’re even starting to miss the most annoying things about them, including but not limited to, Dean always complaining that he’s hungry and Sam constantly moaning about Dean’s music. Ah, the joys of living with brothers.

Letting your thoughts wander too far was always a bad idea, especially when it came to one brother in particular, but since yesterday it was much harder than it ever had been before to stop yourself. Because when he had called yesterday he’d been dressed in an all black suit and crisp white shirt, much nicer than any of the other FBI suits that he owned, the boots were a very nice surprise, the outfit was completed with a cowboy hat and bolo tie. 

You had almost swallowed your tongue when his deeper than usual voice had rumbled through the speaker of your phone. He sounded happier than you’d ever heard him, the thick Texan drawl of his voice doing things to you that you hadn’t expected.

A knock at your bedroom door pulls you from your thoughts, “Honey, we’re home.” You turn to find a grinning Dean leaning against your door frame, still dressed in his cowboy getup, with Sam dressed in a normal fed suit beside him. Climbing off of your bed you quickly and awkwardly throw your arms around Sam first, feeling his strong arms wrap around your back, unable to stop yourself from laughing when Dean pouts at you.

“Come here you dork,” you laugh and Dean grins happily, almost having to jump, you throw your arms around his strong neck and pull him close. You squeal in surprise when he squeezes you tightly, standing to his full height he keeps you close to his chest, so your feet are no longer touching the floor. God he feels good and he smells amazing, the slight stubble on his jaw scratching against your neck and face gently. 

You’re starting to get a little lost in the moment until Sam clears his throat beside the two of you. “Dean! I need to breathe,” you exclaim, giggling a little when he finally lets go, a blush staining those freckled cheeks.

“Sorry, I...we missed you,” he shrugs, trying to correct himself mid sentence, adjusting the hat on his head, drawing your attention back to just how good he looks. 

“Yeah well, I missed you both too.” you smile back at him, seeing Sam shift beside you.

“Right, I’ve gotta get going guys. Supply run, you want me to grab dinner for us?” Sam asks on his way out of your room. 

“Sounds good!” you and Dean call at the same time.

“Get pizza, leave the pie!” you shout before Dean can say anything, since you already know what he’s going to ask.

“You’ve got it, Y/N!” Sam hollers back.

“Hey! What did I ever do to you?” Dean grumbles, leaning back against your desk with his arms folded across his chest. 

You can’t help but smile at his reaction, typical Dean you think to yourself coming to stand in front of him. “Trust me Dean, you’re not gonna need it. I’ve baked at least a dozen pies, you’ll be fine for a while.” 

“Really!?” Dean grins excitedly tilting his hat in your direction, “Why thank you kindly ma’am.” he winks, the deep timber of his voice shooting straight to your core. 

“I’m guessing someone enjoyed playing cowboy’s yesterday?” you smile, it genuinely warms your heart to see him seriously happy for a while.

“Cowboy’s are awesome!” Dean defends, “Seriously though, I wish you could’ve been there, you would have loved it.” 

“I’m sure I would’ve, I bet you fit right in there huh? It suits you, like I said yesterday.” you grin, biting back the smile as you silently hope that he wasn’t about to prove you right.

“Oh yeah? Just suits me? Yesterday you said I looked hot as fuck,” he grins knowingly, leaning in close. You just about manage to slip out from under him. You can’t be that close to him, not right now, you don’t trust yourself around him. You don’t want to do something that you’ll regret and ruin what you and Dean have as friends. It’s the whole reason that you’d been ignoring the attraction you’d felt for him all this time, in the first place.

“W-Well, yeah. You still do, I just- I didn’t think you’d heard me last night,” you mumble under your breath, doing your best to talk yourself out of this situation, feeling the blush rise in your cheeks as he turns to face you again. 

That cocky smirk in full force on his plump lips, “Oh, so I heard. You know you didn’t hang up when you thought you did sweetheart.” 

Your heart practically stops in your chest. Oh God no. He hadn’t heard that, had he? 

Every time he takes a step forward in a large stride towards you, you take a step back. “I dunno what you’re talking about Dean,” you all but whisper, knowing you’re full of shit as much as he does. 

“Oh I’m guessing by the look on your face you know exactly what I’m talking about,” he challenges you, smirking at you when you have nowhere else to go and your back bumps against the wall. 

“Dean don’t do this, you don’t want this” you tell him, trying to keep your voice strong but it comes out as more of a whisper.

“I’m not doing anything, all you have to do is tell me to stop and go. And I’ll do it, but I heard you sweetheart.” 

“Heard me what?” you ask nervously, your voice just barely above a whisper, swallowing around the lump that’s formed in your throat when he leans in closer. 

Dragging his teeth over his bottom lip he nods and clears his throat and flicks his eyes up to meet yours. “I heard you moaning my name. I think you must’ve muted me, you didn’t hear when I tried to talk to you. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about it. I know I should’ve hung up,” 

“So you heard everything?” you ask breathlessly, watching the way his eyes move down to your lips.

“Oh yeah, every perfect filthy noise. You sounded so wet,” Dean groans at the memory, tongue pushing against the back of his teeth. 

“I was. Haven’t stopped thinking about you since,” you answer, finally reaching out and pressing against his chest. 

“Do you trust me?” he asks gently, taking your hand in his.

“Yeah, of course I do.” you answer easily, following him as he leads you over to your bed and sits down. 

“C’mere,” he rasps, helping you straddle his thighs so you’re facing him. You close your eyes as his fingers slide over your jaw and he cups your cheek.

You’re taken completely by surprise when his plump lips press against yours out of nowhere, pulling a muffled noise from your throat. Your hands fall to his chest, gripping the lapels of his black suit jacket you pull him closer, feeling him groan against your lips. The kiss is way too short and way to soon he’s pulling back, your hooded eyes meeting his. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” you ask quietly, running your fingers along the brim of Dean’s cowboy hat.

“Oh God no, probably not, might be the worst idea we’ve ever had.” Dean chuckles, quickly joined by you. “I’m tired of being sensible when it comes to you,” he sighs, sounding like he doesn’t know what to do.

“Damn you’re cheesy today cowboy, just kiss me and let’s find out.” 

Your grin falls away when his lips press against yours insistently, one of his arms wraps around your waist and the other falls to grip your ass tightly. Your hips roll down against him, feeling the obvious bulge in his pants pressing into you. The kiss quickly becomes more demanding and Dean’s tongue fights yours for dominance, a fight that he quickly wins.

You roughly push the jacket from his shoulders and let him pull it off his arms and throw it to the floor. You break the kiss so that you can both breathe, “Don’t you dare take that off,” you glare playfully, gently placing the hat back on Dean’s head.

“Kinky,” Dean grins, wiggling those eyebrows at you, making you laugh. “So what exactly were you thinkin’ about when you were moaning my name?” Dean asks curiously, as you start to pull at each other's clothing and throw it in the ever growing pile on the floor. 

“You between my legs working that pretty mouth of yours,”

“Oh yeah? That good was I?” he smirks, throwing his boxers over his shoulder and laying back on the bed. Biting your lip you nod at him, “guess you better take a seat then sweetheart and why don’t you borrow this,” he winks handing you his hat as you straddle his chest. Putting the hat on your head, Dean moans when you lower your hips, your pussy directly above his lips.

Dean’s hands grip your hips tightly, fingers digging into your skin when his tongue moves through your folds. Your eyes focus on his, they’re lidded and he looks completely in his element. You roll your hips into his mouth, whimpering loudly when he swirls his tongue around your sensitive clit. Your hands move up to your tits, rolling the sensitive nipples between your thumbs and forefingers. As the vibrations of Dean’s groans shoot straight through your core, “Dean, please. Feels so good,” you whine loudly, feeling his teeth scrape gently over your throbbing clit.

Your stomach is clenching repeatedly, pussy fluttering against his tongue. Dean’s hands are rough and demanding on your hips, encouraging you to roll them harder and faster against his face, you’re practically riding his face at this point and your head is spinning. Feeling the edge nearing ever closer.

The noises that Dean’s making are only spurring you on, the sweat clinging to your skin just like the bruising grip that he has on your hips. His eyes are daring you to let go, come all over his face, so that’s exactly what you do. One of your hands drops to his head, fingers tangling in his hair as you throw your head back and your orgasm finally hits you, sparking every nerve in your body, pulling a scream of his name from your lips. 

With shaky legs you just about manage to climb off of him and fall onto the bed. You moan loudly into his mouth when his lips immediately press against yours, his hands are everywhere, lips moving down to your neck sucking a purple mark into your skin. He pulls away to look at you and his smile matches your own, taking off his cowboy hat you put it back on his head and wink cheekily.

“Much better,” you’re practically eye fucking him as he rolls his hips into your thigh, “Dean, please. Fuck me baby,” you moan loudly, rolling onto your front and Dean kneels behind you. Arching your back you wiggle your ass at him, giggling when he swats at it playfully. 

“You ain’t gotta ask me twice sweetheart,” Dean groans, pressing the tip of his cock against your entrance, still dripping with the evidence of your last orgasm.

“Oh shit, so big,” you whimper as he starts sliding his cock into you teasingly slowly, with a large hand on both ass cheeks he spreads you open, groaning as he watches his cock slide inside your slick pussy. “Come on cowboy, I'm sure you can ride it harder than that,” you moan loudly, when he squeezes harder and his blunt nails bite into your skin, you can’t help pushing back into his hands.

Your hands clench in the blankets beneath you when he slams his hips forwards, pulling a muffled scream past your lips as your face is pushed into the pillow. He moans as he pulls out slowly, “don’t worry sweetheart, I plan on riding your ass hard,” Dean grunts, before another rough snap of his hips has you whining beneath him.

His hips are moving in a slow but rough pace, your back aching as he fucks you into the mattress, the loud slap of his hips against your ass echoes around the room. You turn your head to look at him and feel your pussy clench around his cock hard, Dean’s eyes find yours easily, teeth buried in his bottom lip. “Dean please! Oh god, please,” you beg desperately, when he stops you from pushing back into his thrusts.

Dean pushes his fingers into your hair and wraps it around his hand, roughly pulling your head back as every thrust of his hips comes faster, “how’s that, sweetheart? So fuckin’ tight and wet, you gonna come for me yet?” he growls low in his chest, when your pussy starts to flutter around his cock. 

“So close,” you gasp, back arching harder as his grip tightens and his free hand moves around your hip and between your legs. Your eyes almost roll into the back of his head when his fingers press against your clit, his fingers move in time with his thrusts and it doesn’t take long for him to push you over the edge into your second earth shattering orgasm of the night. You practically scream his name into the sheets, you can feel your come running down your thighs and Dean’s pace doesn’t let up until you’ve finished shaking beneath him.

You're panting into the sheets when Dean finally pulls out and drops on the bed beside you. “Sweetheart, you o-” you cut him off when your lips press against his, passionate but too short, when you pull away he chases your lips and wraps his arms around you.

You know you’re smiling like an idiot when you straddle his hips and wrap your small hand around his slick cock, sliding your hand over him easily, hearing him moan beneath you like you’d imagined so many times. You slowly lower yourself down onto the wide head of his cock, feeling the perfect stretch all over again sends another wave of arousal through you. “Never gonna get used to this,” you whimper, slowly sliding down until your ass is pressed against his thighs.

“Of course you will, got plenty of time to get used to it,”

His hands are on your thighs when you start to roll your hips, fingers digging into your skin as you speed up. Leaning forward you rest your hands on his chest as you start to rise and fall on his cock, the slap of your ass against his thighs almost as loud as the noises that you’re pulling from his lips. “Come on Dean, wanna feel it,”

Your loud moans of his name only seem to spur him on, his hands slide further up your body, large fingers pressing into your delicate skin. You feel his legs shift behind you, then he’s pushing his hips up to meet your thrusts. “Gonna make me come baby girl, fuck!” Dean growls pulling you against his chest.

You bury your face in your neck nipping and sucking at his neck, loving the way that he holds you close. Feeling the muscles of his arms flex beneath his skin, “So deep Dean!” you cry out when his blunt nails drag down you back and he growls your name, cock twitching inside you as he finally finds his release.

He falls back against the bed after a few more rolls of your hips, your sweaty chest pressed tightly against his, with big arms that relax slightly as he legs fall back onto the bed. Your body is aching in the best way possible, every muscle relaxing and you feel completely boneless. 

When you go to roll off of him he groans, “No sweetheart, stay there. Feels good,” Dean mumbles into your neck as your lips press against his shoulder.

Dean pulls out slowly, turning on his side with his arms still wrapped around you. “Pretty safe to say that went well cowboy,” you giggle looking over his shoulder at the hat that lays forgotten beside him. 

You run your fingers through the mess of hair on his head, enjoying the way that he leans into your touch. “Understatement of the century.” he laughs, letting his fingers brush over your side, following the places where his finger imprints are starting to show up. “I guess not all bad ideas are completely terrible,” 

“Oh I love it when you talk dirty to me,” you giggle.

Dean’s smirk is just as big as you’d expected, “Oh, I know you do.” he growls playfully pinning you back against the bed. 

Tags: @chewie-redbird @julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective​ @stiles-o-dylan24​ @mogaruke​ @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone​ @dylanholyhellobrien​ @desireepow-1986​ @emichelle​ @lilulo-12​ @22sarah08​ @deanwanddamons​ @simsadventures​  @charmed-asylum​ @nicole-lynne​ @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog​ @defenderrosetyler​ @emilyshurley​ @emoryhemsworth​ @foxyjwls007​ @mylovelydame21​ @sunshineandwings86 @akshi8278​ @peaches009​ @captain-shannon-becker​ @heimdoodle​ @plushpyrate​ @winchester-wifey​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @flamencodiva​ @hobby27​ @akshi8278​ @littlelonewolfgirl @ladywinchester1967​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @maddiepants​ @spnfanfic-reblogs​ @holylulusworld​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @sonofabringmesomepie​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @hhiggs​ @pisces-cutie​ @trina44sb @heartsaved​ @matsumama​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @negans-lucille-tblr​ @fandomfic-galore​

Pond Tags: @aprofoundbondwithdean​ @manawhaat​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​  @nichelle-my-belle​ @notnaturalanahi​ @deanscarlett​ @roxy-davenport​ @impala-dreamer​ @samsgoddess​ @frenchybell​ @scorpiongirl1​  @deandoesthingstome​ @deansleather​ @curliesallovertheplace​ @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname​ @waywardjoy​ @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious​ @kayteonline​ @supernatural-jackles​ @wevegotworktodo​ @quiddy-writes​ @babypieandwhiskey​ @supermoonpanda​ @deanwinchesterforpromqueen​ @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog​ @memariana91​ @plaidstiel-wormstache​ @teamfreewill-imagine​ @chelsea-winchester​ @becs-bunker​ @castieltrash1​ @supernaturalyobessed​ @ruined-by-destiel​ @winchester-writes​ @evilskank-inthemegacoven​ @maraisabellegrey-blog​ @faith-in-dean​ @winchestersmolder​ @bennyyh​ @clueless-gold​ @deanwinchesterxreader​ @winchester-family-business​ @there-must-be-a-lock​ @just-another-winchester​ @cas-backwards-tie​ @winecatsandpizza​ @firefly-in-darkness​

[purplesurveys]

1400 🎉

Do you like the same foods as me? survey by joybucket 

Section 1: Breakfast Foods

scrambled eggs I love them; it’s my favorite way to eat eggs.

coffee cake (it's bread mixed with cinnamon) I’ve never heard of that before – is it really called coffee cake when it’s mixed with cinnamon? If so, how interesting. Anyway, I typically don’t like eating sweet stuff for breakfast.

pancakes It’s not my favorite but I wouldn’t ignore one or two pancakes, especially if it has bacon in or on them.

bacon Sure, love bacon. I’m not as obsessed with it as I used to be when I was like 12 and bacon used to be the weird/random hype trend it had been; but I do love it.

waffles I have them a lot less often than pancakes, but like I have nothing bad to say about them.

maple syrup Only on my pancakes and never too much of it.

toast with raspberry jam I see fruit in the title, I walk away.

sausage I’ve never liked sausage, for breakfast or otherwise. Taste has always been a little weird to me.

Egg McMuffin Sure this is ok too! I rarely get McDonald’s for breakfast and have almost always eaten Egg McMuffins only when they’re given away for free, but I’ve liked how it tastes.

blueberry muffin Yeah it’s a no for me.

a salad - eaten for breakfast I’m open to it but I’ve never tried it. In any case, I’ll italicize it since this doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

pasta- eaten for breakfast It’s not the ideal choice but sometimes that’s the leftovers I’ll be stuck with.

granola bars Not a fan. 

yogurt and granola I didn’t find this pairing appetizing for the longest time until recently, when my aunt sent over my mom some kind of yogurt and granola thingies to mix it with. It was incredible and it’s so sad I only got to have one glass of it haha.

Section 2: Lunch or Dinner

macaroni and cheese Yeah, always a simple and convenient but still tasty choice.

ravioli I’ve never tried ravioli, actually. I’ve encountered it a lot, like in Italian restaurants, but I always have my go-to orders already and so I’m never able to give ravioli a chance, haha.

tortellini This, too.

mashed potatoes Like mashed potatoes, always a good side. The milkier the better.

baked potato soup I don’t think I’ve had this before.

cheesy potato soup Also this one. I’m just generally not a soup person unless we’re talking about Asian cuisine.

chicken corn chowder soup ^ Same.

butternut squash soup ^ Still the same.

chicken salad sandwich It’s fine. I mean objectively it tastes good, but my mom used to make a huge container of the chicken salad filling/spread at a time that at some point I just kind of grew a little tired of it.

chicken Caesar salad I wouldn’t say no to this.

chicken salad wrap And this one, too.

ham and cheese with crackers Grazing boxes are always a good idea, as long as they don’t have any grapes or whatever fruit that would ruin the box for me.

spinach artichoke dip *chef’s kiss*

breadsticks Love them and love when they’re served at restaurants with olive oil.

Section 3: Foreign Foods

sushi I will literally never get tired of sushi. I would genuinely get it everyday only if it weren’t super pricey.

sesame chicken I’ve never tried this but holy shit does it sound appetizing. I feel like this is the sort of thing that Panda Express would have, which just makes me feel sad...  the one and only branch in the country doesn’t deliver where I live, so I’ve never gotten to try Panda Express until now haha.

sweet and sour chicken Yeah, a no-fail classic. It’s not my favorite Asian way of having chicken but I’ll certainly dig in to get a few pieces.

General Tao's Chicken I’m not familiar with this but I’m guessing it’s some brand.

rice with chicken, vegetables, and pineapple Because y’all know how I feel about fruits and them not having a place in any of my food, hahaha.

lasagna My family makes this a lot so I’m pretty tired of lasagna at this point. I’d eat a portion to be polite but that’s it.

garlic bread You can never go wrong with garlic bread. I don’t like the actual taste of garlic though, so for me garlic bread is best if also made with cheese.

tacos Not really a favorite, I find it a little messy. 

nachos Love nachos, I feel like this is a common order especially if I’m out with friends just because it’s easy to pick up and eat. It’s best with jalapeños.

pizza Yeah well. I’m always gonna pick up a slice or four of pizza.

quesadillas Like them! They’re best when spicy, too; I always make sure to get quesadillas when my family and I go to our go-to Mexican restaurant since they make incredible ones.

spaghetti They’re fine, not my favorite by any means. Spaghetti is huge in Philippine culture and you’ll find it being served in every. single. event. so I’m sick of it at this point. There are a few spaghetti recipes I’ll have no problem eating repeatedly, like Jollibee’s and my mom’s, but that’s it and I’ll never have an issue missing out on spaghetti at a birthday party.

chicken fried rice I see fried rice, I take two giant scoops.

crab rangoon I don’t know what this is.

Snacks

apples

grapes

strawberries

crackers They’re ok in the context of like a grazing box and if they come with cheeses and honey and cold cuts - but crackers by themselves are underwhelming, I find.

protein bars Not a fan.

milk chocolate I’m fine with milk chocolate. I try to avoid whole chocolate bars because lord almighty the amount of sugar on those; but I would snack on milk chocolate-flavored things if I can.

bananas

popcorn I feel like I only pretended to like popcorn in the past just because it was so universally-loved that I was conditioned to think that I had to like it. Eventually I came to my senses and admitted to myself just how boring I find popcorn to be, hahaha.

Candy

Reese's I looooove Reese’s, it’s my favorite chocolate candy. Whatever peanut butter recipe they use for it is amazing.

Sour Skittles I hate sour foods so this is a no for me.

Hershey's Cookies and Cream bars It’s actually my favorite kind of Hershey bar.

Tootsie Fruit Chews I’ve never heard of this.

gummy bears I love gummy bears and their texture, as long as the ones I’m having aren’t too sour.

Jolly Ranchers I’ve never tried this.

Smarties Nothing special.

Sweet Tarts I dont’ know what these are.

Reese's Pieces M&M's M&Ms for me is generally underwhelming, but I’ll italicize this purely for the Reese’s part.

Laffy Taffy I’ve tried it once or twice when relatives from the States would send in gifts. I liked it, but I wasn’t able to have it often enough to form an attachment with it.

Airheads I see this a lot in candy stores but I just never had any reason to pick it up, so I have zero feelings about it.

Next Section: Dessert

chocolate brownies I fucking love brownies. I never discriminate when it comes to them, hahaha.

chocolate pie I’ve never had chocolate pie but it just doesn’t sound appealing. But idk, I’d be willing to try it.

coconut cream pie I’ve never tasted this but I’m gonna go ahead and strike it through because of the word coconut. Unless it’s coconut sauce mixed into a soup or broth, like in curry, anything made from/with coconut I find nasty.

apple pie

pumpkin pie

key lime pie

peach pie

strawberry swirl cheesecake

cream puffs I mean they’re fine, but I certainly don’t see the hype. Either they’re really nothing special or I’ve just been having mediocre cream puffs.

custard-filled donuts with chocolate frosting I am not a fan of filled donuts in general. Too messy and the fillings usually overpower the dough for me.

chocolate chip cookies Can’t go wrong with chocolate chip cookies.

peanut butter cookies They’re a far second from chocolate chip, but they’re okay at best. I think adding peanut butter makes cookies a tad too sweet, though.

gingerbread cookies I’ll never seek them out but like I wouldn’t spit them out either.

chocolate fudge Sure, I like them. I prefer nama choclate a little more, though.

chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream As a general rule, I don’t eat ice cream with any other snack because I don’t like the clashing of textures and temperatures.

vanilla ice cream Don’t really like it on its own but it works best with hot fudge sundae.

rainbow sherbet I don’t know what this is.

strawberry cream pie

strawberry shortcake

chocolate-covered strawberries

apple crisp

pudding I don’t have any strong feelings about it.

Last Section: Some more that I thought of!

yams I have neither good nor bad sentiments about it.

corn on the cob I do like these and find them tasty...it’s just a lot of work to eat and to get through, lol.

apple cinnamon oatmeal I hate oatmeal after eating it a million times as a kid.

hard-boiled eggs on salads I don’t mind it.

dried cranberries on salads (aka craisins)

coleslaw This is good. KFC serves coleslaw that I like, even though they’re not necessarily the best example for healthy sides LOL

pita and hummus Amazing, no-fail pairing.

ham and pineapple pizza I mean I don’t care if other people like Hawaiian pizza, I just don’t like any kind of fruit anywhere near my pizza.

peanut butter and jelly sandwich Tried it before when I was in grade school and wanted to see what the big deal was. It was awful.

finger jello Never heard of that.

avocado toast It’s okay in the first few bites but I eventually grow tired of it since at the end of the day it’s still avocado and I can’t have too much of it, haha.

Special K with Berries (it's a cereal) I’ve never been familiar with it. I’ve heard of Special K when Rhett and Link would try it a few times on GMM, but that’s about it.

snickerdoodles I keep forgetting what this is...

crab dip I’m not sure I know what this is. Sounds good though!

teriyaki chicken sandwich I’ve never had this before, but chicken sandwiches are always a good idea. And then with teriyaki dressing? I’m sure it would taste really good.

kale I’ve never had kale before. Not very common here.

spinach I’m okay with spinach.

pumpkin bread Never tried. Then again, I’m not too passionate about pumpkin anyway.

zucchini bread Also have never tried this.

whipped cream I’m fine with whipped cream but are we really including this as ‘food’? Haha.

blueberry scones

cranberry scones

carrots and dip Again, haven’t had this before but oit’s something I’m willing to try.

watermelon

clementines

fish and chips Eh. It’s just fine. I’m not super into fish unless it’s raw.

lobster dip I’ve never tried but this sounds as appetizing as the crab dip.

pasta with shrimp I mean I’m not the biggest fan of shrimp but I’m okay with it added to my pasta.

Arby's curly fries I’ve never had Arby’s.

buffalo Mac and cheese I’ve never had this recipe before but I went ahead and bolded this because holy shit this sounds fantastic.

chicken wings Yeah I’m pretty fucking obsessed with wings.

chicken nuggets Sure, I like them. McDonald’s has good nuggets.

mangoes

ham and cheeese omelette Omelettes in general is a good idea. I don’t shy away when it comes to fillings.

enchiladas Love enchiladas.

clams Yes to seafood, every day.

caramel Not a super big fan of the flavor but there are instances where I’m fine with caramel, I guess - like if it’s part of a brownie recipe or if it’s the frosting on a cupcake.

peanut sauce I LOVE peanut sauce. There’s this local place that serves Hong Kong-style noodles and I douse that shit in multiple packets of peanut sauce whenever I order from them. Also great with meals like satay, pad thai, and spring rolls. But related to whipped cream, why are we counting this as food too?

peanuts I rarely eat them on their own but I’d eat a peanut or two if offered.

apple butter I’ve never heard of this before.

soy sauce Same initial feels as whipped cream and peanut sauce. But anyway, I do like soy sauce - it’s essential in so many Asian dishes haha we can’t live without our soy sauce.

trail mix Not a fan.

bagels I rarely get to have these. But they’re nothing to complain about, so.

English muffins I’m not sure I know what’s being referred to.

croissants Obsessed with them.

[hargrove-mayfields]

No, see, this is the point where I now come into your ask box /begging/ you to give me even a single religious Neil headcannon in exchange for my entire heart ❤️🤲

Ahh thank you for the ask! I’ve been wanting to ramble abt this! Here’s a few hcs for you!

-The number one most important one I think is that Billy is left handed. We all know the association between left handed folks and the devil and it would tick Neil off to no end when they notice that little Billy is tying his shoes left handed and picking up crayons and sippy cups with his left hand, so he trains Billy to use the right one instead through typical Neil fashion. His mother never let Neil hit him but he definitely scared him through threats of it, and when that doesn’t work he breaks his left arm so he can’t use it and pretends it was just an accident. Billy learns his lesson and starts forcing himself to use the right hand, but because of the constant focus on using the wrong hand or facing the consequences he develops pretty bad dyslexia. If you’ve got dyslexia you can’t read the Bible, so Neil tries everything he can to cure him of it (making Billy pray it away, forcing him into every educational church related program he can find, beating it out of him) but it only makes it worse. It takes him years after moving out of Neil’s place to be comfortable using his left hand for anything and even then he’s still mostly ambidextrous because there’s some things he just can’t shake using the right for.

-They have bibles literally everywhere in the Hargrove-Mayfield house. One on every bookshelf, in every drawer, on every side table, and whenever Billy or Max get in trouble for minor things they get verses read to them (in Billys case because of the dyslexia he has to read them himself and it always goes terribly) and forced to apologize to whoever is punishing them, whoever they wronged, and to God.

-Their church had a pastor who tried to be like, very hip with the kids but he was truly a nasty s.o.b under the surface. Neil was very close friends with this dude so he was able to get Billy one-on-one sessions with him after the church cleared out, and they are, very tough to sit through because he’s got this facade of being Billy’s friend, but he’s saying terrible things about him because of who he is (I hc that Billy outed himself before he realized the consequences of it as a little, little kid) and it’s so confusing to him that he ends up just bawling his eyes out after every one. His faith in the church is shaky at best, but he really internalizes a lot of what that man says to him because of the way he presents it. When the pastor moves on to another church and they get this new old guy in who’s genuinely really nice, Billy's still terrified of him regardless and sits through every service unable to look to the front.

-Bible school was absolutely mandatory. Most kids would go to have fun, but Billy didn’t like the church, and he couldn’t really click with the other kids. Making a prayer pillow and listening to the creepy kid friendly songs and reading in the Jonah and the whale tent just wasn’t cool and exciting like it was to his peers and he feels so isolated. So he sneaks off to go chill in the nursery where he can be alone and it’s not suffocating and crowded, but Neil wants updates since he can’t be there, and he knows Billy’s lying about attending because he asked the ladies in charge of it. As punishment for blowing off what he considered the easy route to teaching Billy the right path to take, Billy winds up enrolled in church camp.

-Church camp sucks. A lot. It’s marketed as being a fun outdoorsy getaway but it’s a lot deeper than that for kids who don’t have a normal relationship with their religion, and especially not for kids whose counselors know they’re gay. It’s basically torture, being away from home in a secluded place where literally around him treats him like a freak because they all know his secret. It’s like, during worship times it feels like everyone’s staring at him, and nobody eats with him in the mess hall and he’s got a bunk bed all to himself because no one else is allowed to share with him and it’s awful. When he gets to come back home he breaks down hard, and Neil is smug as all hell that it had made him that miserable. Billy starts pretending then and there that he’s changed, because he knows the next step would be conversion therapy and what he’s been through was bad enough, so he basically hides away anything that was left of his personality after church camp. For the first time ever Neil’s proud of him.

-Whenever Billy would get in big trouble he’d pretend to pray. Hide in his room and get on his knees at the foot of his bed because his dad wouldn’t hit him if he’s praying, right? Wrong. Neil started making him say his prayers out loud, and he’d stand in the door and wait for Billy to do it right. It makes the whole thing that much more unpleasant because now he knows what was inevitably coming when he got through with it, and he’d only get in more trouble if he stalled. Neil isn’t stupid either, he knows that Billys just trying to buy himself some time and he doesn’t truly mean what he’s saying, so once Billys got his punishment he makes him pray again through his tears. Just to drive the point home.

-Neil definitely made the kids do the annual Easter Pageant when they were little. It was humiliating for Billy, getting put in a reused costume and having to tell the story that’s been used against him so much. All the old church ladies fussing over how cute he is, standing up on the grassy hillside to be gawked at while Susan insisted on snapping picture after picture of her new step son even though he didn’t have any lines. It’s all just way too much. By the time he’s old enough to refuse doing it anymore Neil accuses him of tearing the family apart, ruining their traditions, embarrassing them in front of their community, but he stands his ground, and they all watch Max perform in her little angel costume, and Billy gets his ass beat as soon as it’s over.

-Their church used to have annual holiday parties for stuff like Christmas, Halloween, and Easter, and that was the only time Billy ever had any fun when it came to his religion. They weren’t the greatest little parties but there were some really tasty baked goods and the games were kind of fun because there was no underlying biblical message behind like, carrying a ping pong ball across the room with a spoon and pin the tail on the donkey. Neil doesn’t approve of them though, thinks they distract from what the church should be teaching, and Billy and Max are forbidden from going to them.

-As time goes on Billy still goes to church every Sunday and attends the holiday services but he’s not forced into the extracurriculars anymore because he’s a lot better at acting and following the rules. But I think the worst part would be that he would truly want to believe in God. Of course he’d be bitter that he’d been forced to go through so much abuse at the hands of someone who claimed to be religious, but deep down he knows that isn’t what it’s about and he doesn’t want to have to pretend that there’s something for him to believe in. He genuinely wants to believe that there’s hope for better things and someone looking out for him, but there’s just so much trauma associated with his faith that he can’t, no matter how hard he tries, and if not for everything else he did, he hates Neil so much for ruining that for him.

[mulletcal]

get what you give, give what you get - a sugar daddy!cal blurb.

A/N: okay, so here’s one of my two fics for the fic event! i’m so happy and so grateful to be able to be apart of this cool event, and to have made some new friends along the way.  this truly was such a welcoming environment to toss ideas into.  also, this isn’t gonna be a conventional dom!cal sugar daddy type fic, but i hope you enjoy anyways.

word count: 2.6k warnings: mentions of death, light grieving, drug mention

Event Masterlist

***

The morning that Calum had gotten the call from his mother that his grandma had passed away, he had ended up in the cafe you worked at. A blank, emotionless expression with a muttered ‘thank you’ was Calum’s first impressions with the baristas there, assuming they probably thought of him as an asshole following that. 

Calum became a regular of the cafe though, realizing it wasn’t like the typical cafes he and his friends would frequent. No one knew him, he could be a nobody here. He didn’t have to have his friends look at him with sympathetic eyes while he mourned the loss of the biggest supporter in his life. His grandmother never questioned when Calum wanted to drop out of school to be in a band, nor did she ever bat an eye when that band never made it off the ground, leaving him working temp jobs just to get by. 

He was able to make it out for his grandmother's funeral, being around his family easing his grieving in the slightest bit. Calum wasn’t often able to see his grandmother, both of their schedules never really matching up other than the typical family holidays, and the fact that he lived in California, and her in Australia; but she always called him on his birthday to let him know how much she loved him.

It came as a shock to him when he received mail from his grandmother’s estate, letting him know that his grandmother had left him a ridiculous amount of money, quite possibly her entire fortune from throughout her life- he of course had no way of knowing, maybe she was that filthy rich and she never let any of them know. What had she left to his mother? His sister? Calum supposed reading the letter would answer some questions for him, but he instead stood there, at a loss for words with the letter in hand, unable to bring himself to open it.

Calum decided he’d need coffee to process this information further, maybe delay him opening the letter just a little bit.  He ended up not too long after that at his usual table in the cafe, giving a tight smile to the baristas who were working that day.  Turning the letter over and over in his hands, he jumped when someone had appeared beside him with a coffee and baked good.

“Sorry to bother you, you just hadn’t come to order yet, so we thought we’d bring it to you.  You seemed a little lost in thought,” You spoke softly, the mans’ warm brown eyes gazing up at you, slightly glassy and distant.  

“Oh, uh… Yeah, sorry.  But thank you, I really appreciate it.  D’you mind if I come up to pay shortly?”

“Don’t worry about it,” You said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “We’ve got you covered.”

The small gesture made Calum’s chest warm, a genuine smile appearing on his lips before you turned away.  Something about you made him pause; he had noticed you before, sure, but normally you were more bubbly.  You seemed sad today, and he briefly wondered if there was just a dark cloud hanging over the rest of the world like it was for him, or if his most recent loss was just making him bitter towards everything.

Turning his attention back to the letter in his hands, the feeling of the paper was making his skin hot, and uncomfortably so.  It was time to rip the bandaid off, so to speak, and open it.  What could possibly be wrong with the letter? Or the money? Had his grandmother been the leader of a drug ring, and Calum had somehow inherited that title? A million thoughts raced through his mind while he broke the seal, his breathing quick. 

His grandmothers writing filled the page, causing his eyes to water a little just due to the fact that she had written this herself.  She had meant for him to get this.  Calum’s eyes scanned the words, tears fully forming as he really read them.

‘Calum,

If you’re reading this, it means I’ve gone - though I’m sure you’re aware of that.  If you’re not well… Shit, sorry to tell you my love.’

He had to pause his reading to chuckle, wiping the tears away from his eyes as he did so.

‘Because you’re a sweet boy, I know you’re already wondering why.  Why did I leave all of this to you? What about your mum and Mali? Don’t fret, they will not be left empty handed.  This money, this is all for you.  I want you to go and live your dreams, my sweet.  I’ve always believed in you, in your talents; you’re a hard working young man with big dreams.  Take this money and do something amazing with it, take a trip.  Take all your friends on a trip for all I care, the main thing I want from this is for you to be happy. 

I love you, be well.  I’ll miss you.

Gran’

Calum sniffled quietly, once again wiping at his eyes when he had finished reading.  She had been gone less than a month, but the month had felt so long; Calum forgot briefly that she was gone, and gave her a call on her birthday, only to find that someone had already disconnected her phone.  That had been a rough day in particular for him. 

Finishing his coffee in silence, he tuned into the conversations around him, picking up on one in particular coming from behind the bar.  The barista who had previously brought him his coffee leaning against the counter, talking quietly to her coworker.

“It doesn’t make sense… they’re busier than ever, I don’t get why they let me go. They had even said it wasn’t a performance based termination…” 

Calum frowned, trying not to eavesdrop, but she continued on with her words.

“That was literally my only way to finally make ends meet.  My student loans are ridiculous, my landlord is an asshole and keeps raising the rent,” The woman sighed, “I gotta find another job.  Or marry rich.” The last part of her sentence was said with a half-hearted laugh, no hope in her voice at all.

A thought occurred to Calum then, the words in his Gran’s letter ringing through his ears, “Take your friends on a trip for all I care.” Well, his friends didn’t need any sort of vacation, choosing to live it up whenever and wherever they could; but this young woman, she could really benefit from money like this.  Also there was a hefty chance that the entirety of her student loan would hardly make a dent in his inheritance, which made him nauseous to even think about.

He couldn’t think about it for too much longer, or he’d chicken out, so he made his way up to the counter, both baristas turning their attention to him. “Something wrong, sir?” The second barista asked, but Calum’s eyes nervously remained on the first.

“I have an offer for you.  I heard your situation and I’d like to help, if you’d let me.”

The first barista clicked her teeth, leaning on her elbows on the counter so they were inches away from each other, “No offence man, but I’m not about to smuggle kilos of cocaine up my lady bits to pay off my college fees.”

Calum was a bit taken aback by her comment, letting out the first genuine laugh he had since his Gran had passed, “What? God, no! Listen.  I wanna pay off your student loans.”

“What’s in it for you?” She had cut him off, but he couldn’t blame her for being suspicious.  He would be too if a random person approached him offering to pay his debts.

“Nothing.  I don’t want anything in return, I swear.” Calum paused, “Well… Maybe one thing.”

She cocked her head to the side, encouraging him to continue, and he did.  “Maybe just someone to talk to? M’not a fan of feeling vulnerable in front of my friends, but you both have seen me cry in the middle of this cafe, so…”

Pulling back from the counter, she tossed a glance over her shoulder to the second barista, who was quick to leave the two of them alone.  Calum assumed she would be filled in of the details later anyways, so her being shooed away didn’t make him feel guilty. 

“Okay.. What?  Are you some kind of lonely sugar daddy? Surely you’re too young to be so lonely.”

Calum shook his head, letting out a sound of exasperation, but the smile remained on his lips, “I don’t know if you can tell, but I have no idea what I’m doing.  I almost never do.”  Pulling out the letter and setting it onto the counter, “My Gran passed away recently, and she left me quite a bit of inheritance; I have a strong suspicion that your student loans won’t hardly make a dent in the number, so let me help you.  In exchange for a friend.”

The girl thought for a moment, meeting his eyes to sense any deception.  “Can I think about it? Also, that does kinda make you a sugar daddy.  You’re paying for me to keep you company.”

“Take your time; also if I’m a sugar daddy and you say yes, that’ll make you my baby.”  With a final wink tossed her direction, he headed out of the cafe to go back to his apartment.

Calum returned the next day, hoping that he would find her working once again, his chest deflating a little when she wasn’t.  The second barista from the day before was working though, her eyes landing on him the second he came through the door.

“She’s sick today… Said she must’ve come down with the flu or somethin’.”

Calum nodded in acknowledgment, heading over to take a seat in his usual spot.  His plan to convince her was potentially out the window now, quite possible she would be avoiding coming to work because he weirded her out.  He had formed a whole plan, too, he was prepared to pay off her tuition, as well as a few months of her rent… Though he was prepared to pay for far more than a few months of her rent, he was sure that she wouldn’t let him unless she became really desperate.

Why was he so dead set on helping her? Was it because she was beautiful? Maybe, but she seemed more than that.  The way she never judged the moods he was in, simply gave him his coffee with a smile, most days him returning the gesture; or maybe it was the small fact that yesterday she noticed he wasn’t himself, so she had bought him coffee in a small hope of brightening his spirits. 

His phone buzzing on the table took his attention away from his thoughts, brows furrowing at the request for an AirDrop.  Calum accepted hesitantly, opening the phone to see that the first baristas contact information had been sent to him.  Looking over his shoulder, he laughed lightly at her friend from the day before staring him down, waving his hand in a thanks.

He clicked to send you a message, pausing before typing out, “Hey, it’s Cal.  The weirdo wannabe sugar daddy from the cafe? Your coworker/friend(?) Gave me your number.  Think she wants you to take my offer if you ask me.”

It was a few minutes until the three dots appeared, quickly disappearing and reappearing several times before he actually received a reply, “Yeah, definitely seems like it.  I don’t wanna infect you with whatever I’ve come down with, but I’d like to discuss terms.”

“We can do that, I’m also not terribly concerned about getting sick.  Send me your address.”

“Serial killer.  Here.”

The message that followed was her address, and Calum placed an order at his favourite restaurant for soup before he turned to ask her friend if there was anything she liked to drink when she was sick.

After another thirty minutes of picking up random things on his journey, he finally arrived at her door, biting his lip to hold back a laugh when she answered wrapped in a blanket.

“Welcome to hell… Or.  I dunno, it’s not hell cause it’s fuckin’ freezing.  Hurry up and get inside before you let the cold air in.”

Calum squinted, a small smirk tugging at his lips, “Doll, it’s nearing June in Los Angeles, there’s not a draft anywhere in sight, unless you’re talking about a cold beer.”

“Did you come here to talk about terms, or to make fun of me?” She said with a pout, curling up onto her couch.

“Actually, I’ve brought you some soup and crackers, and also have come to discuss terms… and  make fun of you.  You’ve gotten a three for one deal here, darlin’.” Calum grinned, placing the bag on the table in front of her, her pout only getting worse.

“Fine.  Only because you brought me soup.”

Calum rolled his eyes, helping her to get settled sitting up so she could eat her soup.  Something about the silence that fell between them while she ate wasn’t uncomfortable, but rather welcome.  It had been a long time since Calum was able to feel comfortable sitting in silence with someone, and it made him relax a bit into her couch.

“Okay so terms,” she started, setting the last of the soup down to turn towards Calum, “No sex.  If that’s what you’re expecting, I’m 100% out.  Not because you’re not attractive, but I don’t know if I’m personally cut out for the sex work business.”

Calum nodded, letting her continue on.  “And I want to be able to stop whenever I’d like.  I don’t want some sort of fixed term contract like m’buying a phone.  Honestly I can’t think of anything more than that.  What did you have in mind?”

Turning towards her as well, Calum rested his elbow on his leg, chin in his hand while he looked at her. “I wasn’t expecting much, if I’m honest.  I just want someone to spend time with.  The dating pool is slim, and I’m not particularly lookin’ for a girlfriend, so having someone to kinda bitch to after a hard day is what I was hoping for. And I’d want to hear about your day too.  What annoyed you the most, what was the best part of your day, things to take my mind off everyday life.”

She looked at him for a long moment, and Calum frowned in response thinking she was going to say no.  It wouldn’t affect him terribly if she had, but it would certainly mean he could never go back to that same coffee shop again.

“Why me?” She finally said, pulling the blanket down so it was pooled at her waist now.  “Why do you want to spend your money on me?”

“Like I told you yesterday, this money was inheritance.  My Gran told me to take my friends on vacation, or to do something fun with it; but in all honesty I’d rather do something useful with it, like helping someone else.  You seemed like you could use it, and from what I can tell you’ve never been anything but kind to me - so, you.  That’s why you, because you deserve a break.”

Her eyes had moved from Calum’s down to the floor, her breathing uneven, “Okay.”

“Okay?” “Yes, okay.  As long as you agree to my terms,” Lifting her head, Calum could see that her eyes were glassy, as if she had been trying to hold back tears when he spoke.

“I agree to your terms.  What costs shall we tackle first, baby?” His teasing tone earned him a pillow to the head, a stream of giggles falling from her lips.

“Another term - don’t call me baby.”

“Mmm, that one may have to be an agree to disagree there, baby.”

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[samwisethebitch]

The Bizarre World of “Feel Good” Murder Mysteries

When I think of murder, I don’t typically think of warm, fuzzy feelings. If you’ve been following my blog, you know I’m a fan of all things gritty and gory, so a lot of the books I read fall into the thriller/suspense subgenre. But not everyone likes their mystery novels with an extra helping of blood and guts — in fact, there’s an entire subgenre of mysteries designed to make readers feel good.

According to Wikipedia, “Cozy mysteries, also referred to as ‘cozies’, are a subgenre of crime fiction in which sex and violence occur off stage, the detective is an amateur sleuth, and the crime and detection take place in a small, socially intimate community.” Think Angela Lansbury a la Murder, She Wrote. It’s a very PG approach to a genre that is usually a hard R.

Like romance, the cozy mystery is a subgenre mostly read by women. According to cozy-mystery.com, a website dedicated to this type of book, “Many cozy mystery readers are intelligent women looking for a ‘fun read’ that engages the mind, as well as provides entertainment.”

Any time a genre is marketed to one gender over the other, I automatically wonder why. Is it because women are seen as less likely to enjoy “hardboiled” detective fiction than men? Is it because women “have weaker stomachs” or “can’t handle violence”? Is it because everything made for women needs to be cutesy and fluffy?

To try to answer these questions, I read three different cozies to see if I could determine why they’re so popular and why they’re marketed to women. Here’s what I found.

And Then There Were Crumbs by Eve Calder

Quirky settings seem to be a recurring theme in cozies, with more than a few of the subgenre’s beloved heroines doing double duty as amateur detectives and small business owners. In And Then There Were Crumbs, the small business in question is a bakery nestled in a ridiculously beautiful beachside town.

The mystery is not the main focus of this book. Really, it’s about Kate recovering from a messy breakup and trying to save a small-town bakery from going under. The murder is just icing on the cake, so to speak.

Unfortunately, the mystery was the weakest part for me. It’s not bad, by any means, but it does feel a little too clean. I’m the type of reader who likes to try to figure out the mystery alongside the characters, and this story didn’t really let me do that. There aren’t any compelling suspects to speculate about, and the solution is only possible after Kate stumbles onto a missing clue that brings everything together. This is a device used a lot by shows like Murder, She Wrote, and it’s always been a little bit of a pet peeve of mine.

The rest of the plot is well-written and full of warm fuzzies, but as someone who was mainly interested in the whodunnit I was a little disappointed.

One thing I will say for And Then There Were Crumbs is that it made me crave cookies so badly I had to bake a batch of snickerdoodles after finishing it. That’s gotta count for something.

Final Rating: 💀💀💀 (3 skulls out of 5)

Sinfully Delicious by Amanda M. Lee

Like in And Then There Were Crumbs, the mystery is not the main focus of this book. Sinfully Delicious is, at its heart, a second chance romance about a down-on-her-luck author who moves back to her hometown and reconnects with her high school sweetheart. That she happens to discover a dead body on her first day back, and that the previously mentioned high school sweetheart happens to be the police officer investigating the case, is incidental.

As I was reading this book, I noticed another running theme in the cozy subgenre. Both And Then There Were Crumbs and Sinfully Delicious go out of their way to establish that the murder victims were very, very bad people. Of course no one deserves to be poisoned or stabbed in a back alley, but if anyone did, it would be these guys. In a way, this makes the murders less disturbing since they almost feel justified.

Sinfully Delicious spends even less time on the mystery than And Then There Were Crumbs — at times, it almost doesn’t feel like a mystery novel. The romance really is the main focus here, and I had serious issues with it. Stormy’s ex-boyfriend/love interest has a girlfriend, and there is definitely some emotional infidelity — what Bustle calls “micro-cheating.” To make us feel better about this (and to keep Stormy a sympathetic protagonist), the author makes the girlfriend so unbelievably bitchy and unlikable that we can’t help but hate her. I’m very tired of girl-on-girl hate being used as a plot device in romance novels, and this book is one of the worst offenders I’ve encountered in a while.

The murder subplot was pretty standard. The last minute reveal that pulls the whole mystery together appears once again in this book, followed by a conclusion so outlandish, it actually made up for some of the lackluster buildup.

I did enjoy the fantasy elements in Sinfully Delicious. Stormy discovers that she is a witch and possesses magical powers, but like a lot of other cool things in this story, the witch stuff gets pushed aside to make more room for the romance nobody asked for.

Final Rating: 💀💀 (2 skulls out of 5)

Agatha Raisin and The Quiche of Death by M. C. Beaton

The Agatha Raisin series is a staple of the cozy subgenre. With 30 books and counting, the series has been going strong since the early 1990s. Because this book (the first in the series) is quite a bit older than the other two I read, it isn’t quite as formulaic. It’s definitely heavy on the Agatha Christie inspiration (in case the protagonist’s name didn’t make it obvious), and it’s all very, very British.

Once again, the mystery isn’t the only thing going on here. This book is about Agatha, a fifty-something-year-old business woman who sells her PR firm, goes into an early retirement, and buys a cottage in the Cotswolds, only to realize that village life will be a harder adjustment than she thought. She feels torn between her new village, which isn’t at all like she imagined, and her old life in London, which is quickly moving on without her. Oh, and one of her new neighbors dies of poisoning after eating a quiche Agatha entered in a local baking competition.

I really liked Agatha as a character. It’s nice to see a single, middle aged woman who enjoys being single, and it’s interesting to read a story that deals with themes of getting older and planning for retirement. Agatha is also kind of a bad bitch, and I enjoyed reading about her aggressive, take-no-prisoners attitude.

The story really reminded me of Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple series, which I’m sure is intentional. I can just imagine the author thinking, “But what if sweet Miss Marple was replaced by a London businesswoman?” and then writing this book. The supporting characters are all quirky and eccentric in some way, and some moments are genuinely humorous.

The murder mystery plays a more central role in this book than the first two I read, with Agatha doing lots of good, old fashioned snooping, breaking and entering, and harassing suspects. The conclusion was a little bit of a letdown for me — I think the author could have gone in a lot of different directions, but chose the most boring one.

Final Rating: 💀💀💀 (3 skulls out of 5)

Conclusion

I really can see the appeal of this type of mystery. These books are perfect for readers, both men and women, who want a fun mystery that they can try to solve alongside the protagonist, but who don’t want to read graphic descriptions of violence. I really do think there’s a place in the larger mystery genre for stories like this.

These books are also great for when you aren’t sure what genre you want to read. There’s a little bit of murder, a little bit of women’s fiction, a little bit of humor, and sometimes even a little bit of romance. It’s a grab bag of some of the most popular genres of fiction, and it speaks to readers with eclectic tastes.

Since I discovered the existence of the “cozy mystery” label, I’ve been using it to find books to read when I’m not feeling anything super intense. I read a lot of horror and thrillers, but sometimes I can get burned out on that type of intensely emotional (and often disturbing) story. When I want just a taste of intrigue without the blood and guts, cozies are a good option.

If you’re an avid reader of more intense mysteries, I recommend checking out this more lighthearted side to the genre. Who says a book about murder can’t be uplifting?

[five-miles-over]

Joaquin Phoenix Characters as Cupcakes

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

Characters in this List: Theodore, Arthur, Joker, Doug Holt, Doc Sportello, Freddie, Charlie, Johnny Cash, Max, Merrill, Abbé, Jimmy Emmett, and of course, Emperor Commodus.

Theodore Twombly from “Her”: Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

Red is a color frequently worn by Phoenix’s character in this romantic science fiction film, and his operating system is red too. So naturally, his cupcakes would adopt his signature color. Plus, red velvet is a flavor popularly served on Valentine’s Day (not that it isn’t popular during the rest of the year), so it would be great for the loving, hopeful Theodore.

Arthur Fleck from “Joker”: Vanilla Funfetti Cupcakes

This is basically your typical yellow cake baked with brightly colored, edible decorations (known as sprinkles, jimmies, or hundreds-and-thousands). The frosting is standard vanilla and topped with even more sprinkles - hence it earns the name funfetti. (It’s like edible confetti - fun, right?)

They would certainly entertain the inner child in Arthur. The bright colors would excite him, and they’d remind him confetti at a child’s birthday party. He’d have so much fun decorating the cupcakes, too.

Joker from “Joker”: Banana Split Cupcakes

These cupcakes may look like yellow cake, but they are so much more. The banana flavor is a match for the one who certainly drives Gotham bananas with his chaotic plans and antics.

And just like how Joker may look like any other clown, these cupcakes are good at masquerading like an ice cream sundae. At first sight, you’d be totally thrown off.

Doug Holt from “Inventing the Abbotts”: Strawberry Shortcake Cupcakes

Just like his character in “Inventing the Abbotts”, Doug Holt makes for a refreshing presence onscreen - he’s cute, genuine, and kind. (Just like a strawberry!) And for a film representing American in the 1950′s, what better dessert to mimic than the classic American summer treat?

Doc Sportello from “Inherent Vice”: Matcha Cupcakes with Black Sesame Topping and Mascarpone Cheese filling

I think of all of the members on this list, Doc Sportello would be one most excited to try new flavors. The cool yet earthy green tea infusion in this cupcake would totally complement the buttery melt-in-your-mouth feel of the mascarpone cheese. And the sesame seeds would add a nice texture difference with a unique flavor. Certainly, it would appeal to the all-natural, organic preferences Doc has. 

Freddie Quell from “The Master”: Coconut Rum Cupcakes

As someone who likes mixing concoctions to form alcoholic “cocktails”, Freddie would certainly like his cupcake to bring a little buzz. The coconut flavor would be somewhat nutty but also slightly sweet. And it might be great for Freddie, who’s been overseas during his time in the armed forces.

Charlie Sisters from “The Sisters Brothers”: Maple Bourbon-Infused Cupcakes with Maple Frosting and Bacon Bits.

Just like Charlie himself, this cupcake is a little salty on the outside, with the bacon crumble topping, but also somewhat sweet with the maple syrup. Also, maple syrup is known to be quite sticky - just like many of the situations Charlie gets himself into. (I can imagine he wouldn’t complain with all the bourbon in this cupcake too)

Johnny Cash from “Walk the Line”: Pineapple Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. 

My original idea was to choose a Black Velvet cupcake with cherry filling for the Man in Black, but this pineapple cupcake pays tribute to one of his favorite dishes (as told by his son John Carter Cash) - pineapple pie. It was made with a standard dough-based pie crust and  a pineapple and cream cheese filling, hence the cream cheese frosting. Although, to add a Southern touch to this, these cupcakes could also be served with a candied pecan crumble on top.

Max California from “8 MM” : Devil’s Food Cake Cupcake with a Boozy Cherry Filling

As Max himself says, “If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.” So to pay homage to his quote, obviously his cupcake would be the Devil’s Food cake (it’s just a really moist chocolate flavor). The filling would be made with chopped cherries immersed in sweet vermouth  (wine spiked with brandy), and the cupcake would be topped with whipped cream and chocolate chips.

Also, is it just me or would Max totally make a joke about “popping the cherry” every time he eats these?

Merrill Hess from “Signs”: Chocolate M&M Cupcakes with a Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Filling

These cupcakes would certainly be great for Merrill - he’d appear to be a guy’s guy on the outside, but on the inside he’s not afraid to do seemingly nutty things (wearing tin-foil on his head?) and is extremely sweet with kids (hence the marshmallows). Also, the M&M’s add color to the mainly uniform cupcake, just like Merrill’s expressions add color to this film. 

Given the amount of sugar (and artificial coloring), they were probably made for either Bo’s or Morgan’s birthdays and Uncle Merrill just happened to like them more than the kids did. His favorite part is pulling these cupcakes apart and watching the gooey peanut butter and marshmallow filling spill.

Abbe de Coulmier from “Quills”: Lavender Vanilla Sponge Cupcakes with a Lemon Elderflower Frosting.

Abbé de Coulmier is an incredibly soft and kind person - it only makes sense his cupcake would be just as fluffy as him. The infusion of lavender in the vanilla sponge would delight him, and he might have one of these with a cup of tea in the afternoon. Though, he’d certainly be mindful of his consumption, remembering perfectly well that gluttony was one of the Seven Deadly Sins. 

Most times, he’d desire for the frosting to be removed and instead ask for powdered sugar to be put instead. (The powdered sugar was a compromise after being annoyed by the chef. He was not happy when the chef kept shouting about a “naked cupcake”.) Although, perhaps on special occassions, the frosting would stay and he’d relish the light, citrus-floral flavor.

Jimmy Emmett from “To Die For”: Snickers Cupcakes

Based off of the popular candy bar, Snickers cupakes are usually made with a chocolate cupcake, peanut butter frosting, and a rich caramel sauce with chopped candy bars as garnish. 

They’re perfect for Jimmy, who certainly liked candy bars and can usually be found snickering while he’s zoned out in his own world.

Emperor Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus from “Gladiator”

As always, I saved the best for last, and since I couldn’t decide on simply one cupcake I came up with three different ones for our Emperor. 

(Impartiality? I don’t know her.)

Choice 1) A Red Wine Dark Chocolate Cupcake with Raspberry Amaretto Frosting and Raspberry Drizzle (top left)

Emperor Commodus likes to go all out when throwing lavish games or hosting extravagant parties. So this cupcake is a perfect match, with the rich flavors of red wine, brandy (from the amaretto), raspberry, and dark chocolate all coming together in a decadent ensemble. 

Also, the raspberry drizzle totally looks like blood spilling in the Colosseum.

Choice 2) A Honey Cake with Whiskey Frosting and a Whiskey-Infused Honey Drizzle (top right)

Even though whiskey is definitely not a liquor I’d associate with Emperor Commodus, the cupcake certainly serves as a break from all the chocolate. (Do you think he’d even like chocolate? Comment below, please!)

The main reason this cupcake is here is because honey cakes were around during the Roman Empire. Also, the drizzle...can you imagine Emperor Commodus repeatedly spilling some of the alcohol-infused honey on his cheeks and asking his servant/concubine to lick it up for him? Or making his concubine suck the sticky honey from his fingers?

Choice 3) A Chocolate Hazelnut Fererro Rocher Cupcake (bottom)

This cupcake is mainly here because the golden wrapper totally suits the opulence of a Roman emperor. Also, in one of my previous listicles I paired Emperor Commodus with chocolate hazelnut gelato - thought I’d continue the trend. Plus, the smoothness of the hazelnut perfectly represents the silky tone of Commodus’s voice.

[bleufrost]

Can I please request a h/c for Keanu/F!reader, where she is pregnant and how they manage that at different stages and their life in the public eye/public events etc. Thanks so much, I love your work! 💙

Keanu Reeves x Reader: Your Road to Her (pregnancy)

masterlist

a/n: I hope you like this lovely! I focused more on the stages because I genuinely feel like Keanu wouldn’t be the type of guy to allow for the public to get too involved in something so important for him. He seems really protective of his privacy and a baby would tenfold that in my mind, i hope thats okay with you!

**i also want to apologize, i thought i had this queued for a week ago and didnt notice it never went up :(

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage (this is fluff tho dont worry!) 

From the moment you and Keanu find out the news, he’s ready and willing to do whatever it is you need. At first there aren’t many signs that the baby is even growing in your tummy, you almost get worried at the lack of morning sickness and cravings. Keanu is always there to reassure you that everything is okay though. 

He takes you to doctor appointments constantly the first month of your pregnancy. The first few are your idea, wanting to do everything right and keep track of the little one. The next seemingly hundred are definitely his idea. He is way more nervous than you are, but he does his best to not let it show through. You need someone to be a rock, and who better than the father? 

If the first month was almost completely normal, the second brings forth hell. There’s a constant feeling of nausea and fatigue radiating through you. Every little thing and smell causes your stomach to churn. Keanu tries at least a thousand different recipes to find something you can keep down, but nothing really works. At the very least, it’s still easy to go out in public and only be put in tabloids for grabbing coffee with your boyfriend. You aren’t quite showing yet and you enjoy not having to hide your baby from prying eyes for the moment.

The third month gets a little easier than the second physically. Mentally is a different story. There was a panic in your mind that you hadn't shared with Keanu the first two months, but in this third you almost feel as if you have to. 

Miscarriage typically occurs within the first trimester of pregnancy and you're so close to getting out of that, but you can't do it alone. 

"I'm scared I might lose the baby." You say it one day after your emotions catch up to you. Keanu finds you a sobbing mess on the floor of the bedroom when he comes home one day. His heart thuds in his chest when he catches sight of you in pain and he worries instantly that something terrible must have occurred. 

"What is it? What happened?" His hands come up to cup your face and he wipes your tears away gently. You shake your head, tears still falling, and he wraps you in his arms. You're safe here. The baby's safe here. Everything is okay as long as you don't have to leave. Eventually of course, you do have to. 

The fourth month leads to the second trimester, and the second trimester means new discomforts. Finally able to eat again, you discover that you really don't have any boundaries when it comes to what you'll happily consume. When one moment you couldn't keep anything he made down, now you were becoming a guinea pig for every new baked good and meal that Keanu feels like testing out. One time you even accidentally eat something that may or may not have been for people, but that's not something you want to think about. 

The random food only fuels the inevitable heart burn and constipation you get though. A large part of you feels gross for the way your body reacts to the pregnancy, but Keanu reassures you time and time again that he finds you to be nothing but gorgeous. 

Now it's not so easy to hide. You both spoke about being in the public eye the first week of your pregnancy. It was a mutual agreement that you really didn't want to be photographed while carrying your baby. There was so little privacy already, your child doesn't deserve to be exposed to the world before they're even able to open their eyes. You stop going out places with Keanu as much, and when you do go out, you're both heavily covered. 

Months five and six are miracles. One night, while Keanu is sitting and reading to you, you feel it. 

"Oh my god." Your hands fly to your belly and you can't stop staring. Keanu drops the book and stares at you with wide eyes. "What's wrong?" You look to him and laugh in both delight and confusion. Without saying anything you grab his hands and place them down so he can feel. It takes a moment, but then it happens again: the small little kicks of your baby as they remind you that they're here and excited and just can't wait to meet you guys. Both of you cry that night, anticipation and joy radiates between the both of you and you know this is exactly where you're meant to be. 

The seventh and eighth months get a little difficult again. News outlets have caught on to the fact that you're carrying and they truly are relentless in their endeavor to get a peek at your baby bump and confirm suspicions.

In a few interviews Keanu is asked to comment on his feelings toward the pregnancy, but he gently declines each time. He hates disappointing people, but you and the baby mean way more to him than any fan or public image

One night an interviewer pushes a little too far. Keanu was near ready to leave the set altogether, angry that someone would so easily ignore his requests for privacy. Luckily, he was able to calm himself down pretty quickly with one thought of you watching at home. Once more, he smiles and declines the questions. 

By the time the eighth month is closing and the ninth beginning, Keanu has gotten into a rhythm of rubbing your feet and back almost daily. The extra weight puts a strain on your joints and it sometimes feels like you're lifting heavy dumbbells every time you move. He's very patient and gentle as he always is, but now he watches every move you make with uncertainty. It's about this time that going into labor can be unpredictable and he desperately needs to be ready for anything. 

With great hesitation, he takes on a new role at this time. He received the script in the mail a few weeks earlier and was ready to decline immediately, but you wanted him to take it. It would help him get his mind on something else and relax. Besides, hearing him research the role and practice lines soothes you in a way that you could never describe.

You laugh the most at this time. The baby can hear their daddy speaking. His animated voice lights up the room and Keanu can always tell when the baby is responding by the giggles that leave your mouth. His heart beats faster at the thought of his child already being so happy with you guys. It calms any nerves he has about his new role as daddy.

There's bags ready and packed by the door for weeks. Keanu sleeps with a protective hand over the baby and the other wrapped around you tight. He wants to feel if anything happens and sleeping this way comforts him and puts his mind at ease because he knows that if you or the baby stirs, he'll feel it. 

It happens one day in the kitchen. You're sitting on a chair by the counter that Keanu had pulled up so you could be with him comfortably while he cooked. The two of you are laughing over a playful argument you were having on how much spice to put into the dish when you feel something wet. 

Your laugh stops suddenly and your cheeks blush with intense embarrassment, but you just sigh and move to get up. Wetting yourself is humiliating, but you know the man standing before you would never make you feel bad for something you can't control. 

He spots the wet floor and instantly his eyes light up. "Can you help me clean this please? I'm sorry." Keanu bolts over to help you stand. He shakes his head in shock and starts leading you over to the front door. "Babe, I need to go change and clean up the mess, where are we going?" 

He laughs in confusion and slight panic, leaving you by the door and grabbing his keys. From the kitchen you hear him call, "Sweetheart, I'm pretty sure that was your water breaking!" You look down in disbelief, surely you would know if that was your water breaking...right? 

A jolt of pain knocks any thoughts out of your head and all you can do is breathe until he gets back to help you. 

All the way to the hospital, Keanu is guiding you through the periodic pains that plague you. Sometimes it doesn't hurt as badly, but then a new wave will wash over you and leave you gasping for air.

The actual hospital arrival is a blur. One moment you see him rushing to check in, the next you can feel yourself being wheeled down a hall. You think you pass out for a moment, but can't be sure. All you know is that you're now in a room being told to breathe deeply. The contractions are not yet close enough together to initiate anything, so you just have to stay as calm as possible.

There isn't a second in your confusion that he isn't there by your side. You can tell he's scared by the way his eyebrows knit together and his hands tremble, yet his smile still lights up the room and his voice brings you down from the discomfort. He reads to you until you feel as though the waves are no longer coming one at a time. They all feel like they're happening at once and he instantly calls for a doctor.

Giving birth is agonizing. The exertion compares to nothing you've ever felt before and you can feel an endless flow of tears stream down your cheeks as you continue to get told to breathe, push, relax, push again, breathe…

Your eyes lock with his, hand reaching out for the strong grip you always seek for support and he wraps it around yours with no hesitation. Unlike most stories you'd heard, Keanu isn't panicking or on the verge of passing out. He's always been highly attuned to both life and death, and as much as he hates seeing you in pain, he knows that this is a fleeting moment that will lead to the most beautiful child both of you have ever seen. Your pain destroys him, but your love and willingness to endure it builds him back up even stronger than he was before. Just one look into his beautiful, deep eyes gives you strength to keep going, so you do. 

As soon as your screams die down, a new one begins. It is by far the most lovely noise that has ever graced your ears, and although you knew it would keep you both up for months, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. The nurses clean the baby off just a bit, the real bath could wait. Right now you both need to hold the little one just as much as you need to breathe. 

You are given her first. She is gently placed into your arms and your lip trembles as you can't stop the onslaught of tears that overflow your eyes. She is stunning. Nothing in life could have ever prepared you for just how gorgeous this tiny little baby would be. Her eyes weren't open, but you knew that one look into them would make you gladly give up the world for her. 

In that moment, Keanu feels as though his lungs give out. Nothing matters outside of this hospital room right now and he feels no need to be anywhere else but here. His arm remains where it has been the whole time, protectively holding you. The other, though, is free. He has a strong urge to protect the little girl. His shaky hand comes over to brush the soft hair on her head. As soon as he feels her delicate little head under his fingertips, his heart swells and he lets the tears fall down. 

The little bundle of joy was safe and warm and oh so loved. When the nurses came in, they found the three of you asleep. Keanu held you protectively in his arms, a hand still gently petting the baby's head. Your arms were holding your little angel as your head leaned against his strong chest, finally getting some rest after your long journey to get to the little girl that now felt like home. 

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!