#they’re all so terrible and i love them

[rosegolden13]

Pictures TF-141 have of you on their phones!!

cw: stalking (but not malicious I promise)

Gaz is definitely a professional photographer. He’s just artsy like that. He’ll take the most perfect photos of you and you don’t even have to train him. He just knows how to do it. Honestly, it kind of makes you jealous how talented he is and he’s so nonchalant about it, too. Maybe it was an ex-girlfriend that taught him all this? (It wasn’t, he just has sisters, he’s a sisters kind of guy for sure). The lighting is always perfect and he’ll even help you pose, guide you into position with his hands. Is it mostly an excuse to touch you? Yes. Do the pictures always come out good? Also yes. His favorites are the more domestic ones: you wearing his shirt in the kitchen with the morning sunlight filtering through the window, you cuddled up on the couch with two blankets and a hoodie with a goofy smile on your face. These are the ones that are printed out, folded into his pocket and accidentally put through the wash, or tucked into his wallet.

Simon only has pictures of you that are as unnerving as they are sweet because you have never seen him take *any* of these but he has almost a thousand all in its own album dedicated to you. Yes, some of them are your regular selfies or posed pictures of you next to a pretty fountain or across the table on a date. His favorites are of you and him together- he likes the reminder that you’re really his. But the large bulk of the pictures are taken from strange distances… You at the bar laughing with your friends at girls night when you’re absolutely positive Simon was supposed to be at home waiting for you… and then there’s the one where you’re on your morning jog… The only explanation he gives you is a casual shrug and a gruff "It's for your protection, love." Just be glad you didn’t scroll to the very top of the album because there’s some from before you two were dating. Ahem… enough of that creep…anyways…

Price has the most terrible pictures of you. I’m talking god awful. Like most of them are of you in your pajamas, unshowered, messy hair, no makeup, and to make matters worse, it’s taken at the worst angle known to man. Of course, a few of them are decent because they’re ones you have sent him but if he’s taking the picture? He’s bound to zoom in way too much and get the strangest angle THEN he’ll even coo at the picture, proud of himself. In half of them, you’re trying to smack the camera away- he always chuckles at those ones when you look through them together. When you try to insist that he delete these, he genuinely frowns, entirely confused like they’re not the most heinous pictures. “What do ya mean, love? Look at that, that’s my girl. I’m keepin’ ‘em all.” Lovesick man tsk, tsk. Don’t ever tell him that he can change his lockscreen from the default or it’ll absolutely be the most embarrassing picture of you imaginable.

Soap is also artsy and can take good pictures of you but half the time, he chooses not to. He likes to capture the chaos and there is some beauty to that, too. So, yes, he’s got some cinematic pictures of you on hikes overlooking a view or on the beach where you're lounging in the sun. But mostly his camera roll is filled with blurry selfies from when you two were drunk at the bar or videos from when you two got scolded at the grocery store for pushing each other down aisles in grocery carts. His personal favorite and lockscreen is a picture of you with your face all scrunched as he squeezes your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger. There's also a scattering of sketches he's drawn of you on classified documents and then secretly snapped a picture of. He'd be in deep shit if Price found out about those... "Keep 'em a secret, lass, will ya?"

Okay just one more of these cuz they're so fun hehe. Yes, ik Price is probs great at tech from being in the military but I like to imagine he's sucky at an iphone- it's so endearing.

[revelboo]

Your writing is AMAZING! I love your works, and honestly, you're the only writer I like here. Keep up the amazing job! 💜

Aww! Thank you! 💕

Everything Is Alright Pt 119

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Head lifting when the cassette compartment door opens far too soon and Soundwave reaches for you, there’s no point resisting. Letting him pick you up and pull you back out into the madness when you just want to hide in the dark and try to figure things out. And you can practically feel the tension radiating from all three of them as Soundwave almost seems reluctant to put you down. Making you wonder what they’ve been discussing. Because Megatron still has that psychotic smile in place.

• “I’m beginning to regret saving you, pet,” Megatron growls, servos curling into fists as you frown up at him. Finding out how ridiculously short your life span is tempting him to go to drastic measures. To consider handing you over to Shockwave to figure out a way to prolong your life. It’s almost a cruel joke. To be bonded to a weak, fragile mate that’s going to be gone far too quickly and drag him along with you. “Do you have any clue what you’ve done to me?” Can hear the anger creeping into his own voice as you fist your fingers in your robe.

• What you did to him? Like all of this is your fault and you’re so over it. “You kidnapped me, okay?” Jabbing a finger at Starscream to make his wings drop. “Wrecked my car! Scared me half to death and kept me in a damn energon cube! And you!” Rounding on Megatron and finding him still grinning, thinking this is hilarious no doubt. You really wish you had something to throw at him. “I didn’t do anything to you! If you’d just left Starscream alone, none of this would have happened! None of you ever ask what I want or need! You just decide for me, because I’m just the helpless, little human and I’m sick of it!” And they’re all staring at you like you’re something they’ve never seen before. “I’m not a damn pet.”

• Wings drawing tight to his frame as your voice rises, Starscream wants to reach for you, but he’s never seen you so furious before. So angry you’re crying now and it hurts him. So angry with all of them that you smack Soundwave’s servo when he tries to reach for you. Making him feel guilty as he vents and wishes he could go back to before Soundwave had discovered you. When it was just him and you. Try to do better by you, because this anger isn’t new he’s realizing. You’ve just been bottling it up. Ignoring it. “I know you’re not a pet,” he says as it really soaks in how terrible a job he’s done as your mate so far to make you feel that way. Do you hate him? Have you always hated him?

• Servos flexing, Soundwave can’t stop reaching for you. Can feel your anger and hurt and it’s crippling. Even if you hadn’t screamed at him, he’s been making demands of you this whole time, too. You’d just been a curiosity at first, feeling your emotions and unable to block you out. Kneeling in the floor, he rests his chin on the berth you’re on and cautiously touches your arm with the tip of a servo and you hit him again, little eyes welling as you try to shove his servo away. His head lifts when Megatron sits on the berth beside him. “Go find some engex. I need a drink,” Megatron growls at Starscream.

• Servos pressing against his head, Megatron watches you slap at Soundwave again and his communications officer just loosely curls his servos about you, refusing to stop reaching for you. And Starscream doesn’t budge to obey him, wings tight to his frame as he reaches to grip the edge of the berth, staring at you before stretching out his own hand. Servo brushing you as you just angrily slap at him, too. Trying to figure out how he got roped into this mess when you finally make a little, hitching noise and stop fighting Soundwave and Starscream both, laying your cheek on Starscream’s hand. You’re definitely a lot more trouble than he’d imagined, but he remembers tangling in you when he’d bonded you fully. Seeing all of you, knowing you. Or at least he thought he had.

Previous

[theresattrpgforthat]

THEME: Lesbian/Sapphic TTRPGS

I can't not contribute to this! Let me throw a bunch in the ring! I don't know if all of these are specifically toxic yuri or violent, but they are undeniably queer!

we burn together, by Shouting Crow.

WE BURN TOGETHER is a rules-lite tabletop roleplaying game that has swords, skeletons, and drama. What else do you want, really?

It is inspired by the Locked Tomb series written by the incredibly talented Tamsyn Muir. You don't need to know anything about the books to play, though. All you need to know is that it has necromancers and people swinging blades around and if a caster and a duelist work together, they might become something more (but they'll probably lose something profound in the process).

You'll need a twenty sided die and at least two people to enjoy this compact little game. The current version is text-dense because it was designed to fit on 20 A6 size pages. It's black and white and dead all over. 

I’m submitting this one as a Lesbian game even though it’s not necessarily specific about the gender of the characters, because so much of its source material is considered fairly iconic and queer. It’s about relationships that create something new while taking something away from both parties to it. If you want unhealthy attachments and metaphors all about forbidden relationships, you want this game. In the words of the creator: “Print it, play it, tell your friends about your big feelings and die terribly. They can wear your finger-bones on a little silver chain around their neck and think fondly of you or something.”

Toxic Sword Lesbians, by Carly Smallbird.

Toxic Sword Lesbians fight their shared enemies when they’re not fighting each other. They know they shouldn’t say something hurtful or give in to escape over responsibility, but they do. They lash out over disagreements on ideals and on expectations. They give in to their worst self-destructive impulses. And then they pick themselves up off the ground and go help their loved ones, because that’s the right thing to do.

Toxic Sword Lesbians is a game for telling stories about the most awful women you can make up to love, which is to say: it's a hack for telling spicier, more emotionally fraught stories in Thirsty Sword Lesbians. In it, you'll find tools for Making Her (Your Character) Worse!

Yeah, I know you said that you wanted to see what was out there other than Thirsty Sword Lesbians - well Toxic Sword Lesbians is a hack of TSL! It includes updated sex and intimacy moves, more evil Truths of Heart and Blade, and custom mechanics for body horror, monstrous hunger, and more. If you want to make your lesbians obsessed, over-thinking danger-addicts who jump to the worst conclusions and dig into their self-destructive habits all of the time, you want Toxic Sword Lesbians.

No Love’s Land, by Adira Slattery.

DESIGNED FOR WAR YOU ARE ON OPPOSITE SIDES YOU HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE You are a killer robot stationed on the moon of Ahava, covered in a dense radiation field. The only way you have to get a message to your secret girlfriend and fellow killer robot is to send them a message inscribed on a missile. Time to fire… LOVE CONQUERS ALL AND YOU WERE MADE TO CONQUER

No Love’s Land feels somewhat like a larp; you have to physically create a space that feels like a bunker, and then toss notes to each-other rather than speaking out loud. You can send messages, but as soon as the two of you embrace, the game ends.

I love how much this game just dives headfirst into tragedy. With each not, the two of you can get closer and closer together, symbolizing the way you are able to bypass subroutines and infiltrate your mech’s code. I think it would make such a fun date night with a loved one, a chance to create a big personal mess that culminates in a cathartic emotional moment.

Supernatural Sapphics, by Transcendent Tapir.

Supernatural Sapphics is a role playing game for 2 or more players, one player taking the role of the Top, who runs the game and plays the Dolls (important NPCS), Extras (unimportant NPCS), and Obstacles (nonsentient beings, environmental hazards, or any other non-person barrier preventing progress). The rest of the players take the role of Bottoms, which are characters in the game. This Distortion Dice game is about the messy queer relationships between beings of the veil (vampires, fae, ghosts, cryptids, etc) and the humans fascinated by them. To play this game you will need several sets of polyhedral dice and optionally tokens to represent Drive.

The designer is fairly up-front about the messy relationships that can show up in this game, including PvP rules for handling inter party conflict.Your characters are collections of vibes, skills, pet peeves and insecurities, constantly reevaluating their relationships every time they get overwhelmed. From what I can tell, the theme of being supernatural cryptids is more of a flavour than being something intrinsically baked-in, so you could likely replace that aspect with a different setting or flavour and still explore those messy relationships.

Tension, by Adira Slattery

Tension is a Tarot based roleplaying game for telling stories like Killing Eve and Hannibal, letting you explore queer experiences in the cat and mouse genre.

Play as an investigator and a killer as they get entangled in each other. You will pursue after another back and forth while everyone in your orbit drops like flies. But it’ll all be worth it, because you’ll be in love. Or dead. Or both maybe? How exciting!

Another game by Adira Slattery, I don’t know if Tension is explicitly lesbian, but it’s definitely queer. Rather than play a single character, you and up to two friends created a cast of characters, using the Major Arcana of a tarot deck. The bulk of the story, however, follows a killer and an investigator, both who know who the other is, but still experience an inexplicable attraction. The other characters are pawns, victims, and various other minor characters that help raise the stakes.The story is meant to weave a complicated web that likely implicates both of them - great for a high-stakes, intense game.

And They Were Dortermates, by unseeliejess.

From matins to compline, every day has been the same. Free from worldly concerns, your days have been spent in song and prayer, in needlework and gardening, in feeding the hungry and teaching the young. You have heard rumors of revolution from pius petitioners expressing fear for you and all the faithful. There are only a few months until your way of life is completely overturned. You may not survive the upcoming terror. You will never lose your faith, but you may lose…her.  

And They Were Dortermates is a GM-less game for one or more players. Players are cloistered nuns in a medieval convent in a time shortly before a dissolution or suppression of monasteries and convents. They are also secretly in love with the other character(s). 

A classic story of love that cannot be, And They Were Dortermates uses a block tower and a deck of playing cards. Similar to Dread & Star-Crossed, the block tower is used to represent a big event that will change your life permanently - and if it falls too early, you may not be able to confess your love. Each turn, you draw a card from the deck, follow the prompt, and pull a block from the table. A classic will-they-won’t they with a Catholic flavour!

Underlie Jess has a number of lesbian-themed games for you to check out out, including Just Gals Being Comrades, as well as the core We Love In Whispers System, a GM-less, diceless game of romance and politics.

Sapphic Slumber Party, by deecity.

Be brave. Be beautiful. Fall in love, just for a moment. And really just nail a beautiful girl with a pillow. 

Sapphic Slumber Party is a short zine game for 2-5 about a pillow fight at a slumber party, and all the joyful, melancholy, amorous, and vulnerable feelings that come out when you're playing in your PJs. Brief and lyrical, Sapphic Slumber Party is GMless and plays in 30-45 minutes. Rather than a sweeping epic or a high-stakes romance, Sapphic Slumber Party focuses on a single, rather mundane night. Over the course of a single pillow fight, your characters will attack each-other with pillows and attempt to pile Vulnerability upon each-other. It’s a subtle game of pushing your crushes closer and closer to something a bit more intimate, a bit more risky than a pillow fight, a chance to get closer and closer - until a button pops, a bra strap slips, or some other symbolic representation of getting more and more vulnerable with each-other.

What you do at the end of the pillow fight depends on how much Vulnerability you get, and who got vulnerable first.

Deecity also has a Locked Tomb hack for Ten Candles, this time called Tomb Candles!

I (and others) have also recommended…

Dungeon Bitches, by Dungeon Bitches.

The Girlfriend of my Girlfriend is My Friend, by stargazersasha.

Deadly Weapons, by Adira Slattery (honestly, a champion for lesbians).

The Rain Still Falls In My Heart, by Roz.

Breakup on Re-Entry, by Riverhouse Games.

Doll.Bod, by @ribstongrowback

Lesbians Built This Farm, by che.

Gay Crime, Sapphics Against Capital, by Evey Lockhart.

You can also give me a tip by donating to my Ko-fi!

i remember you writing a list of something in some fucking context (i remember nothing), and on that list there was a lesbian ttrpg that really stuck out to me that i didn't save. It was a real edgy one about being lesbian violent and mean (i think), which isn't really much to go off. Where i'm going to is, would you be interested in just listing every lesbain indie ttrpg you know of? Its fine if you dont wanna, of course.

You're probably thinking of this thread here, though you're quite correct that "mean violent lesbians" isn't sufficient to pick out a specific entry – several of the titles plugged in that thread would easily qualify!

As for "listing every lesbian indie ttrpg [i] know of", that's a trickier demarcation problem than you might imagine. What is a lesbian tabletop RPG? Is it one where the player characters are obligatorily lesbians? (If so, we end up excluding games which are explicitly about the lesbian experience, but feature some other type of character.) Is it one written, at least in part, by lesbians? (If so, we bump into the problem that not all indie tabletop RPGs are autobiographical, the maunderings of certain self-appointed critics notwithstanding.) Is it one where the game itself is a lesbian? (Not an impossible brief, but now we're catering exclusively to folks who are into meta bullshit.)

Ultimately I'm going to pass the problem down the line and just ask folks in the notes to name the first game that comes to mind when they think of the phrase "lesbian indie ttrpg". Let's see what sort of consensus evolves.

[mizgnomer]

Behind the Scenes of The Giggle - Part Fourteen

Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s article in DWM 599:

In the back garden of a lovely detached house in the Cardiff suburbs – “Not a mansion, but enough to make you go ‘Ooh’,” Russell’s script specifies – David Tennant is giving Bonnie Langford a bear hug. “Welcome back!” he’s saying. “How long’s it been? Thirty-four years?” What a touching moment. “Yeah! And then she sort of blew it,” David tells me later, laughing, “and said, ‘Oh, no, I was here last year!’”

In a timey-wimey twist, today – Friday, 17 June 2022, another scorcher – is Bonnie first time back on Doctor Who since 1987… bar a fleeting cameo in 2022’s The Power of the Doctor. She’s carrying an apple crumble through some patio doors.

And there are the Nobles – Donna, Rose, Sylvia and Shaun – gathered around the garden table, beneath the pergola, about to tuck into pots of curry and cauliflower cheese. (Anything but tuna madras, please.) Sat with them, joining the familial fray at Donna’s new gaff, is the Nobles’ lodger: the Doctor, like we’ve never seen him before. So relaxed. So happy. “He’s not really save-the-world Doctor right now,” Chanya tells David. “This is an off-duty Doctor.” He’s regaling his adopted family with The Eyebrows Story that he’s probably spun a hundred times before. He’s almost at the bit with the Warrior Queen of the Felooth when –

“Am I late?” Enter: Mel, wearing a Reiss dress covered in pink and white flowers. It’s a floral riff of her Time and the Rani ensemble (“They put me in white trousers in a quarry,” winces Bonnie, when I ask her about that ’87 gear. “What the hell was that about??”). “Sorry, the door was open, you don’t mind?”

“Mad Aunty Mel!! I was so happy when I thought of that,” says Russell. “At last she’s got a home, a story, a history. I suppose this house is Donna and Shaun’s, living with mum and grandad, and the Doctor as the strange lodger in the attic. They were promised compensation by UNIT at the end of The Star Beast [after their home was ravaged by Wrarth Warriors].

“Or maybe Bonnie Langford should move into Bannerman Road?” adds Russell, tantalisingly. “I wouldn’t object. MAD AUNTY MEL.”

For Catherine, working with Bonnie must be the equivalent of David partnering with Ncuti? Is there a sense that they’re kindred souls? “Oh I mean,” she says, “I’m just not as deep as that.” She explodes with laughter. “We didn’t even discuss it. I didn’t know she was a companion! I was literally going to David, ‘Bonnie Langford was in Doctor Who?!’”

“Bonnie’s quite unusual, certainly from the old show, in that she was probably better known for other things,” David reasons. “That’s quite rare. This show tends to cling to you.”

“That’s the thing about Doctor Who. You can run, but you can’t hide,” says Catherine. “It’ll get you. It’ll bring you back in the end – happily.”

Catherine has no regrets, then, about returning for these 60th Anniversary Specials? No, not one, she insists. Best of all, Donna finally gets the happy ending she deserves – the delightful fate of Donna Noble. “I think it’s just amazing that Russell has found a way to do that,” says Catherine. “I was convinced he was going to have the Doctor and Donna die in some terrible, spectacular way and everyone would be sobbing. But no. We sit in a garden and eat apple crumble with Bonnie Langford. Ha! Which is so perfect.”

When Catherine read the script for The Giggle, she was “a little bit taken aback, actually, at what happens,” she told us two issues back. Now she explains: “That was when it fell into place for me. I realised, the need to want the monumental was the actor in me. That’s not what Donna wants. Donna doesn’t want the drama. What she wants is to bring the Doctor home and to ground him the way she needed to ground herself. That’s how she saves him. For me that’s Russell’s brilliance, that he sees beyond the showiness.”

Catherine texted Russell after reading the script. “I was like, ‘Oh my God, we sit in a garden having a barbecue,’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, Donna gets the ending she always wanted.’ I thought, of course, that’s what she wants. She wants her best friend. And obviously,” says Catherine, smiling cheerily, “they get the best of both worlds, because there’s a TARDIS in the garden as well.”

“I really like that this is part of the garden,” says David, pointing across the lawn to where his TARDIS is stood. The Doctor’s TARDIS, by the patio windows. For now. (He took Mel to New York last week. And Rose Noble to Mars.)

-------------------------------------

For other posts in this set, please see the #whoBtsGiggle tag. The full episode list is [ here ]

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - There's 3 Good Shows Holding a Ton of BL Cr*p on their Shoulders

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2025 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - So darn adorable1 I love the whole shopping trip thing: Mom out with the gay boys is great.

GIVE ME MOAR OF LEE AND HIS PHI. Pretty please?

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I love the way Thame is basically like, in my head we are totally dating and acts that way with Po. Yet he hasn't actually discussed it with the poor man. Thame is such a pouty babygirl. Jun is a little shit. All in all, this installment was a little slow but I remain charmed. 

The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I’m actually quite enjoying this. I really do just wanna spend most of my time with this pair watching them kiss (please don't make Noeul act mmm'kay?). So I’m really glad we’re on episode three and the show seems invested in supplying us with kisses already. Thank goodness.  

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - mostly I just feel sorry for Fadel. boy is so tired of everybody else’s gay drama queening. 

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 13 of 24 - I actually like how they are portraying Yotha’s character in this (with relation to his mother). It’s pretty authentic to that kind of situation and personality type, I enjoy that. I also like that Wa dumped Klao for being too jealous. good healthy decision, should have stayed that way.

Sangmin Dinneaw (Sun iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - it just keeps moving through absurdist and ridiculous to gratuitously sexual to mind numbingly dull. I never know where I am with this show. At least it’s not boring... until it so much is. Also my cancer danger signaling is going off hard core. Beware.

I'm like one of those dogs that can sense and epileptic fit, only for death in BL.

Flirt Milk (Sat YT) ep 1 or 10 - Star hunter is back this time with terrible facial hair. I’m putting it on the no fly list right up there with wigs. Apparently Thailand and fake hair are mutually exclusive. The lead ingenue looks a little bit like Yim, and I think they mean to give him a similar personality to Yim’s usual characters, but frankly I found him insipid, dim, and boring. Literally every other surrounding character and couple-to-be is more interesting than the mains. The linguistic bit was cute tho. 

Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - heavy sigh.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 17 end? - supposedly still coming

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

When it Rains it Pours (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2-3 of 10 - I’m enjoying these second 2 eps a lot better than the first ep. It’s leaning into the premise and I like a quazi Cyrano de Bergerac thing. It’s got that chewy Japanese “who knows where this is going?” seasoning. But one thing we can be sure of is Japan can always veer sideways given the right pothole. Or should I say plothole? Anygay, I like the way they’re different with each other via text than in person, I like that we’ve already had some language discussion and negotiation, I like the cool banter between these men. And they are men. I like how very adult this is. I’m interested to see where it’s going. Color me suitably intrigued, in a refined manner.

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 7 of 12 - Ooo I love the side couple!!!! They are soooooo cute. Kissing to seal a debt? Adorable. Also, yes please keep Ever 4 shirtless forever. I applaud his design, functionality, ans aesthetic choice. Rah rah rah. More manual labor in BL! Pun intended.

Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds Viki) eps 3 of 9 - I like the secondary couple a lot more than the primary. Shocker.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 16 of ?? - I bit the bullet and finally watched the 2 parts. It really did not need to occupy that much of my time. I did watch it on 1.5, which is not normally what I do with foreign language shows, but I’ve lost patience with this damn thing. I didn’t actually mind the student teacher side pairing, I didn’t like it either. I thought this was the final episode, and then I saw that there was an 2 part ep 17 announced. So i guess not. Have mercy.

Oh yeah and trigger warning all round.

It's airing but......

I Will Turn Back Time (China Gaga) 6 eps - It’s Chinese, no idea if it will end well or not. But it’s the stepbrothers trope. Still, I’m not gonna watch it until it’s done.

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai) - It's done. Did anyway watch it? Thoughts?

In Case You Missed it

End of year wraps are here!

2024 Trend Report

MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024

Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024

BL's 2024 Quirky Awards

2024 Awards - Quick Picks

Next Week Looks Like This:

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Love a lift and kiss. Show me your muscles by picking another boy up and smooching him silly. (Your Sky)

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[i-dared-myself]

Heads

Hyunjin x reader

Requested ‘sequal’ of this.

In which your hopeless romantic blunders come to an end

18+

After another terrible date, you stumble into your apartment. You barely manage to kick your shoes off before you sink to the floor and cry.

Is there really no one decent out there? Why do your dates feel the need to point out your flaws? Why are they all such assholes?

You dump your purse next to the door, along with your jacket. It’s future-you’s problem, and future-you is going to call now-you a bitch.

You remove your makeup, and return to your living room. Turning on a stupid romantic film is what you need right now, so you do it.

You gather your pyjamas and bring them to your living room, peeking at the television. The love interest has the protagonist in his arms, and this is what you need in your life.

But alas, you only attract morons, apparently.

“I could offer you a deal.”

You whip around, shrieking in alarm. The man grimaces, covering his ears with his hands.

“Who the fuck are you?” you demand. Your eyes flick to the kitchen, where your knives are (obviously) located.

“Hyunjin.” He offers you a small bow, lips tugging up at the corners. His dark red hair falls around his face before he tucks it back, eyes glinting. “Love god, at your service.”

You stare at him in disbelief. “Really? Prove it.”

He seems taken aback, and frowns slightly. “Prove it? How?”

“I dunno.” You shrug and take a miniature step to the kitchen. “You’re the love god.”

Hyunjin rolls his tongue against the inside of his cheek, considering your words for a moment. “I don’t need this contract.”

“Contract? Are the you devil or a love god?” You snort and shake your head. As you feign amusement, you continue to shuffle backwards.

Hyunjin entwines his fingers behind his back, cocking his head. “I’ve been called both. And I don’t think I need to prove myself to you. You’re the one who’s lonely and unloved.”

You wince. “Harsh. Okay fine, what do you have for me?”

He chuckles, gliding forwards until his chest is a hair’s width away from yours. If you take a deep breath they would brush together.

“I can give you undying affection and passion unlike anything in those… tasteless movies.” Hyunjin flashes the television a look of disdain before returning his attention to you. He lifts a hand to lean it on the wall next to your head, leaning even closer. “What do you say?”

You swallow thickly. What he’s suggesting is everything you’ve ever wanted.

“And what do I have to do in exchange?” You gaze up, right into his eyes. They’re half-lidded and his eyelashes frame his gorgeous eyes.

“Nothing.” Hyunjin smiles wryly. His other hand is brought up to gently caress your cheek. “Just a small, teeny-tiny, little thing.”

“What is it?” 

His lips part to speak, and you barely hear the words coming out of his mouth. But you do. And they cut through the haze in your head.

“You have to play a bit of a game with me,” he simply says. “Doesn’t that seem like fun? Then you can have your happily ever after.”

“What kind of game?” you ask him warily as he spins around and drapes himself across your couch. The knife is forgotten and the only thing at the forefront of your focus is what he could give you.

“We flip a coin. If it’s tails, you get your true love. If it’s heads, you die.” Hyunjin looks smug and pleased with himself. He holds a hand up, and a coin gleams between two elegant fingers.

“I… die?” you repeat. Suddenly this doesn’t seem like such a good idea. 

“Well, there’s a chance you’ll survive.” His expression shifts and he looks away. He’s still toying with the coin. “Anyone I kiss dies. It’s ironic, considering who I am. The only one that can survive, is-“

“Death,” you finish. “Love-hate relationship with them? I get it.”

Hyunjin blinks. “What? No. Don’t interrupt me, either.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, not wanting to risk his wrath. Does he only kill people by kissing them? Or does he also stab them? Either way, you don’t want it.

“The only one who can survive is my true love.” Hyunjin curls his fingers to get you to approach, patting the couch next to him. “Ready?”

You hesitantly sit, watching as he flips the coin. It lands on the table and you both peer down at it.

“Heads,” Hyunjin croons, slowly raising his gaze to yours. He scoots closer to you as your heart sinks.

“Get it over with.” You sigh and cast a hateful look at the coin.

Hyunjin’s hand comes to the back of your head, cradling it gently. He pulls you closer to him, his grip firm and his lips soft as they lower to yours.

You kiss him back, because why not? You have nothing to lose at this point.

His head moves and his lips part. You accept his tongue slipping into your mouth as he guides you down until your back hits the couch cushions.

Then he’s hovering above you, eyes wide. You’re waiting for the inevitable end. The last thing you’ll see is his stupidly pretty face, and you can’t be mad about it.

“You’re not dead,” he observes.

“You’re smarter than you look,” you tease, mind reeling with what this means.

If you’re not dead, and he’s surprised at this fact…

“I’ve looked for you for so long,” Hyunjin whispers and buries his face against your neck. His teeth graze the skin there. “Can I fuck you, please?”

Your breath hitches. “What?”

“Please?” he begs. “I’ll make it so no other man can pleasure you. None of those shitty men will make you happy like I can.”

You hum. Maybe this a little hasty, but you’re just glad you’re not dead.

“Words, pretty girl.” Hyunjin lifts you into his arms.

“Yes, you can fuck me,” you tell him. Then you’re being dumped on a bed of smooth sheets. “What the-“

“This is my room.” He gestures around to your surroundings. There are paintings hanging on the walls and big windows that overlook… clouds? 

“Okay then,” is all you can say. 

Hyunjin grins and snaps his fingers, and then suddenly your clothes are gone. His have been removed as well, and he crawls across the bed to stare down at you.

“No other men are like me,” he promises silkily. A finger is plunged into you, quickly followed by another. You fist the sheets at the stretch, feeling him scissor them out.

“Please.” You grind down on his hand. “Please, Hyunjin!”

He coos and runs his hands through your hair. “Oh, you’re not cumming until I say.”

“Why?” You gasp as his fingers in your hair tighten and wrench your head up. “Hyunjin!”

“Face down, ass up, pretty girl.” Hyunjin manipulates you into the position he wants. He sighs heavily and tosses his head back. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

You moan as he enters you, squeezing around him. You claw at the sheets as he rolls his hips experimentally. “Just-“

He shushes you as he thrusts. Strands of his hair stick to his face. “Gonna marry you and everything.”

You squirm back against him. “Y-Yeah?”

“Mhm.” Hyunjin reaches down to circle your clit. “I’ll fill you up anytime you want. You’ll be like this every day, just for me.”

“Just for you,” you agree. You can feel yourself flutter around him as he continues muttering. You’re getting closer and closer.

Hyunjin forces your back into an arch, at just the angle he wants. This way, his thrusts hit the spot that makes your eyes roll back, and you’re babbling out pleas to cum. 

“I wanna see that face as you cum.” He presses harder to your clit, grinding hard against you. “I bet it’s just as pretty as the rest of you.”

Your mouth falls open as you fall over the edge. He works you through it, thrusts stuttering until he spills deep inside you.

Hyunjin pulls out, smiling at you gently. His hair frames his face as sweat shines on his body. “I’ll clean you up, then get you some water.”

You blink dazedly. “Sure. And cuddles.”

He stretches out, waving a hand to form robes on the both of you. “Anything you want, pretty girl.”

Tagslist:

@velvetmoonlght

[vampireistic]

failed replaced!MC AU - part two

ཐི synopsis: the somber trickster of the house of lamentation is now attempting to both woo you and maintain a steady enough relationship with the brothers that they don’t end up with a knife to their throat - but trust is not given, it’s forged.

ཐི feat: demon bros.

ཐི warnings: not proofread, second person

ཐི a/n: i’m so sorry that this took so damn long i had major writer’s block TwT. i’m still planning to add the rest of the brothers but my brain is just kinda mleh right now :[ hope you still enjoy and thank you sm for the love on part one！♡

♡ tags: @jjsmeowthie @mahi-does-obey-me @fanfanfantic @emilystarmix @arie2faced @mokasredribbon @fandomlover011 @catdalmata @p1nkpaperstars @a-soul-punk @vernith @weareparanoidcynicalpeople —> quite a few didn’t work so i’m really sorry if you aren’t here but asked to be tagged! >^<

“Fmnf…I love you.”

“…”

“Huh?”

A terribly long silence crept into the room, everyone collectively staring at each other back and forth as if playing ping-pong with their thoughts. But with this bundle, it only took a further moment for the place to disperse into utter chaos.

Mammon, of course starting the whole row, yells: “WHAAAT?! Hey, HEY! They’re mine, ya hear?! I own them!”

“You don’t even own a valid card.” Belphegor quietly rebutted.

Levi, who was standing off to the side for a while, sputtered, face turning a lovely red hue as he dramatically points at Notus. “W-what kind of confession is that?! You think this is some cheesy dating sim?! And you think you can just barge into the route I’ve been working on for ages?!” He clutches his chest like he’s about to faint. “This is literally my worst nightmare!”

Asmo doesn’t even waste a moment to latch himself onto you, arms protectively cradled around your shoulders as he drags you to his chest. “Oh well, aren’t you a bold one, sweetie?” He droops his head so it snuggles right against the junction between your shoulder and neck. “Don’t think this revelation will save you though, darling - the same way glittery eyeshadow won’t cover a bruised eye, your “love” won’t cover that nasty personality of yours!”

Ouch. Even you couldn’t help but let out a tiny sound of displeasure.

Obviously, some of them couldn’t help but get up close and personal with the little daredevil, Satan particularly not liking the turn of events as he steps in dangerously close, the flick of his tail snapping on the ground like shackles.

“Are you just throwing words around now because you’ve ran out of ways to be annoying?” His voice is oddly calm, but the subtly laced venom in his tone and tension in his shoulders made Notus unsurprisingly shrink back.

Beel paused mid-bite of a sandwich (that’s how you know it’s a serious discussion), blinking slowly at Notus. “…Do you even know MC well enough to say that?” He tilts his head, genuinely confused. “I mean, MC’s amazing, they’re very kind, cute and forgiving…but you don’t seem like you’re being serious.” The concern in his voice is evident, he even subtly shifts closer to you and wraps a large, gentle hand over your hip (please forgive the crumbs).

“We’ll be sure to send you some self-help guides on how to handle rejection!” Asmo couldn’t help but squeeze in, blowing a theatric kiss over at Notus before tilting his head to kiss and nuzzle your cheek - much to everyone else’s vexation.

Like always it seems, you were right in the centre of everything. Centre of desire, possessive demons (and a reaper who just so happened to flick a candle off the table by ‘accident’), and what seemed like the most telenovela-esque love quarrel you’ve had the (dis)pleasure of watching.

“You’re all missin’ the point here! MC here is mine, no lousy, weak human can come and compete with the Great Mammon!”

“Yours?! Don’t you mean ours?” Asmo interrupted, practically picking you up as he continued squishing you in his embrace. “Honestly, Mammon, stop acting like some jealous ex. We all know MC’s whole heart belongs to me—”

“Like hell it does!” Levi’s voice cracked as he jabbed a finger at Asmo. “You think you can just jump into my route like it’s some free DLC? You don’t even have the charisma stat for it!”

Yeah, did you really expect the conversation to remain on the singular point of interest when these siblings are involved?

“Oh, shut up, Levi!” Mammon barked, jabbing a thumb at his chest. “At least we don’t spend every second locked in our rooms, ya stupid otaku!”

“Better that than being a broke, brain-dead idiot!” Levi shot back.

“Why are you all arguing?” Beel’s deep voice rumbled as he looked between his brothers and Notus. “MC’s already ours anyway. Right, MC?” Beel attempted to gently pry you away from Asmo’s near bruising hold, a pitying look furrowing his brows.

“MC doesn’t belong to anyone,” Satan growled, stepping closer to Notus, his voice calm but laced with venom. “But if they did, it certainly wouldn’t be someone like you.” His tail lashed against the floor, punctuating his words.

“Who asked you, Satan?” Mammon fired back. “Don’t even act like ya ain’t been jealous of me ‘n MC since day one!”

“Jealous?” Satan’s voice dropped lower, he turned his attention away from Notus to Mammon. “Of you?”

“Oh my, it’s like a live episode of The Human Who Captured Demonic Hearts!” Levi wailed, burying his face in his hands.

Asmo huffed, “MC, darling, you don’t have to entertain these rowdy imbeciles, do you? Especially not after that disaster of a confession.” He gave Notus a pointed look, sneering. “That was so pathetic it made my skin crawl.”

“Shut up, Asmo!” Mammon shouted.

“Silence!”

Lucifer’s voice thundered through the room, instantly freezing everyone in place. The chaos ground to an abrupt halt, and all eyes turned to him. He stood at the centre of the room, his wings slightly flared, a dark shadow cast over his face.

His glare fell on Notus, cold and unrelenting. “I will NOT tolerate any more disruptions, especially at MC’s expense.”

Notus, who had been forced into a rather submissive silence throughout the turmoil, tearily spoke up in a meek tremor for a voice: “I—I am serious! I mean…obviously it started as something less than ideal, I was trying my best to ruin them in whatever way possible but…” They looked sorrowfully over at you, hands clasped together as a flushed hue appeared on their face, “but every fail made me realise just how truly amazing they are…I was so blind by hatred for a while but I slowly realised just how much I adored their inability to give up - and now, their kindness even when I don’t deserve it.”

Mammon, still fuming, scoffed. “Yeah, ya think a little sob story’s gonna make up for all the crap ya pulled? Get real.”

Levi groaned dramatically, clutching his head. “Ugh, this is so cringe, I can’t take it anymore. It’s like something out of a bad fanfic—but worse, because it’s real!”

“MC? What are your thoughts on this matter? It does concern you directly, after all.” Diavolo for the first time in this whole ordeal spoke up as a voice of surprisingly decent reason, arms crossed over his broad chest.

“Hm, well…” you thought, and suddenly the room felt oppressive again. A large network of eyes stared at you silently. Unblinking and sharp, like owls perched in the shadows, watching a prey intently to guard their object of affection (that being you, of course). “I mean, to reiterate - when I was new, you guys weren’t exactly the nicest of…” ooh you had to reconsider your word choice with that one, “the nicest of hosts, shall we say?”

“I’ve had to live through several attempted murders and threats, I can handle a little flunked spell that was taken too far and frankly, funny jabs at my reputation.” Somehow, the giggle that followed from your lips didn’t ease content into your beloved’s hearts.

“Personally, I’d like to give them a second chance.”

Such few words but ones that easily flickered a fire intended for argumentative chaos.

──────────────────────

Diavolo could never deny you anything. He wouldn’t dream of it. So when you announced you’d give the exchange student another chance he was more than happy to grant them that privilege. Despite all the bickering and grievances expressed by the brother’s, at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and finalise.

You can definitely change the intentions of a person, but rarely ever the methodology of their emotional decisions. Something you had to learn the hard way when Notus just so happened to be in charge of breakfast one morning, giving only you a batch of heart-shaped pancakes drizzled with your favourite sauce and toppings.

A sweet gesture. And at first, the twin’s couldn’t care less about Notus’ clear plan to win your affection, but starting off with food (Beel’s territory!) was more than vile. Have you ever seen those videos of a dog side glaring their owner either because they’re pretending they didn’t do anything wrong while the evidence is right there, or because they just desperately want a bite of food? Beel was certainly the latter currently, his gaze never faltering from your plate.

He and Belphie alone were allowed to brazenly give you their hearts, no one else.

“Would you like one, Beel?” You ask, drawing him away from his thoughts with that honeyed voice he loved so much. He’s never devoured a plate faster in his life.

“Sorry…I know you said only one.” He nervously mumbled, looking down at himself in disappointment. He shouldn’t be letting his own petty jealousy take over him like this. Oh… but he couldn’t deny that he smirked just the slightest when he glanced back up and saw the brooding vein popping up on Notus’ forehead as well as the clear twitch in their eye.

──────────────────────

They say the best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, so an impressive dinner time was a rather obvious leap forward to reconciliation. It was Notus’ turn to cook dinner, and you had offered to tag along purely because you understood how overwhelming it can be to cook for so many demons during what their version of the rush hour is.

Beel was having none of it of course. Not because he wanted to gorge himself before the actual meal - though that was definitely a portion of it - but Notus doesn’t have a particularly great track record in terms of keeping poisonous substances from food, there was no way he could risk something easily preventable.

“Do you even know what MC likes to eat?” He suddenly murmured, the food that he was munching on suddenly forgotten in his grease-stained hands.

“Of course I do! I’ve prepared—” Beel takes one look at the food and immediately frowns.

“You burnt the sauce.”

“...That’s a garnish!”

A long pause hung in the air. You sighed quietly, trying to defuse the situation before it escalated. “It’s fine, we can just substitute for something else!” This version of Beel oddly made you nostalgic of his old blatant crudeness and rude jabs before you ever got closer. A thought that would be significantly cuter if both of them didn’t look close to eating the other.

Family over pettiness though, Beel can just feel the annoyance in your body language with a simple glance - he steps back, but still insists on helping you “taste-test” the food — not out of hunger (this time), but purely because he doesn’t trust Notus.

For the first few minutes it was all good, you were busy handling some vegetables and stock so it was rather nice having Beel deal with things on Notus’ end - but it became a little bit of a hindrance. Every time Notus tried to present something, he’d eat it with a whole gulp, then critique it with a pointed look.

Notus, frankly fed up of the whole affair, slams a pot on the stove and turns to him with their arms crossed over their chest.“Well, if you think it’s all so bad, why don’t you just go order something! Goodness, since when is the Avatar of Gluttony so picky?!”

You stepped in between them, trying to ease the situation. "Beel, please. Notus is trying, and you’re not making this any easier for either of us." Your eyes met Beel’s, and though his gaze was still tense, he could see the disappointment in your expression, like a subtle weight in the air. It wasn’t a scolding look, but one that said “you’ve fucked up,” that somehow hit harder than any shout ever could.

Beel’s shoulders sagged, his expression shifting as he sighed. "I’m sorry… I just want everything to be perfect and for MC to be safe." He shot one last look at Notus, who was now glaring but waiting for Beel to make the first move.

Notus raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I get it. I’m not exactly the best at this, but I don’t need you criticizing every step. You know, you could just help?”

A little glance at you, at Notus and a little repeat, and Beel can’t help but smile and nod: “Sure.”

──────────────────────

The Avatar of Lust loves several things that aren’t himself: attention, competition and you. So when Notus kindly presents a challenge to your affections? Oh, he can’t help but sting some cockblocking venom into their sad attempts at flirting.

A beautiful garden view near the Demon Lord’s castle, you and Notus taking a little detour to check out some flowers Barbatos recently grew as Notus offers a smile that was almost too smooth. “Is it just me, or does this place look even better when you’re here?”

Where from a rustle of bushes, Asmo materialises wordlessly and latches himself onto you with a grin pipes up: “Such textbook examples of flirtations I had almost thought you were Mammon!”

Another moment where you were simply cuddled up on the couch with Belphie resting his head on your lap, Notus on your other side completely evading the movie that was playing in the background in preference for gazing over at you with a heartfelt smile.

“You know, I think I could get used to spending time with someone as charming as you,”

Asmo, appearing out of nowhere, flicking his hair back with a flourish. “Charming, you say? Darling, I practically wrote the book on charm. You should take notes.” He nudged you playfully, entirely stealing Notus’ spotlight.

Notus shot Asmo a venomous glare. “You really can’t let me have one moment, can you?”

Notus had been stewing in silence for a while, nervously watching you as you casually flipped through a book, the pages seemingly more interesting than their attempts to start a conversation. With a deep breath, they finally decided to step up. If there was any chance to win your attention, they’d have to take it.

"You know, MC," Notus began, tone smooth but with just a hint of uncertainty, "I’ve never met anyone as kind as you. You’re a truly extraordinary person, and it’s just… hard to believe someone like you exists." They allowed themselves a small, confident smirk, watching for any reaction.

You blinked, eyes lifting from your book to meet their gaze.

"Uhm, thank you," you said, your voice soft but warm. "That’s really sweet of you to say."

Before Notus could bask in the moment, a voice interrupted: “Oh? Extraordinary, you say?" Asmo’s voice practically purred from the doorway. He casually sauntered in, his gaze immediately locking onto yours. "How cute! But don’t forget, darling," he continued, turning to Notus with a playful wink, "I’ve been telling you how amazing you are for years." He floated into the space between you and Notus, leaning in with a theatrical hand placed gently on your shoulder.

Notus’ eyes narrowed, a flush of frustration creeping up their neck. They knew they were being overshadowed, but that didn’t make it any easier to handle. "Do you just pop up every time I try to get close to MC?" Their voice was sharp, a bit of anger seeping through as they glared at Asmo.

Asmo grinned, completely unfazed. "No, no. MC and I are just fated so that any time someone tries to swoon them, I’m able to come in and spare them the pain!" He winked at you again, clearly enjoying your flustered expression.

Notus’ patience snapped. They took a step forward, voice dripping with irritation as they shot a pointed look at Asmo. "Oh really? And what makes you think you can keep stealing my spotlight? You’ve been running interference since the day I got here, and I’m not about to let you do it again!"

But Asmo, ever the charming showman, remained unfazed. "Oh sweetie, I’m not stealing your spotlight, I’m just making sure you don’t get too comfortable. You know how it is—MC needs someone who can handle the real spotlight, not someone who’s still testing the waters."

Ah well, as long as it all remained friendly competition…

──────────────────────

The library was silent, save for the quiet murmurs of you and Notus. You had both been discussing The Odyssey for the past hour, and Notus, in their enthusiasm, had started a debate about Telemachus’ journey and growth over the course of the story.

"Telemachus is just... too passive for me," Notus argued, arms crossed with a huff. "I mean, he's supposed to be the next in line to rule Ithaca, but for most of the epic, he just follows along with everyone else. He's not the hero of his own story — he's basically a sidekick to his dad!"

You tilted your head, considering Notus’ point, but before you could respond, Satan, who had been skimming through a book in the corner, suddenly snapped his head up, his sharp gaze falling upon you both. Lord save you both.

"Really? Telemachus?" Satan's voice was tight, laced with a quiet, simmering annoyance. He pushed himself up from his seat, walking over with deliberate steps. "You’re completely overlooking the complexity of his character."

Notus raised an eyebrow, clearly unperturbed by Satan’s sudden approach. "Complexity? How? He does nothing but waitfor his father to return. He doesn’t even take a stand until the very end."

“To be fair, what else was he—“

"That’s exactly the point! Telemachus’ growth is subtle, but that makes it more powerful. His entire character arc is about stepping out from the shadow of his legendary father and claiming his own agency. What you fail to grasp is that Telemachus isn’t just waiting around for Odysseus to return—he’s learning, watching, and understanding the weight of responsibility that will eventually be thrust upon him."

He crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing as he stared directly at Notus. "You can’t judge Telemachus’ journey by the standards of immediate action or overt heroism. His development is about inner strength, about finding his place in a world that has been defined by his father’s absence."

Notus, ever the provocateur, smirked. "Yeah, well, if it takes that long to grow a backbone, I think he’s better off staying in the shadow."

Satan’s lips curled into a barely contained sneer. He stepped closer, now directly in front of Notus, his tone dripping with disdain. "Then you truly don’t understand character development, do you?” His gaze flickers over to you for just the briefest of moments.

Satan's tail lashed behind him as he glanced at you, his posture softening slightly, but his frustration still evident. "What Telemachus represents is an exploration of self-reliance and personal growth in the face of uncertainty. His struggles aren’t just about being Odysseus' son, they’re about becoming his own person in an unpredictable world."

You nodded slowly, feeling the tension rise in the air, sensing Satan's intense passion for the subject. Satan being so riled up isn’t particularly uncommon, especially regarding literature, but you had a feeling this went beyond mere text.

Notus, seemingly realizing they had pushed Satan a bit too far, raised their hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. I get it. You really like Telemachus."

Satan glared at them one last time, his lips curling into a satisfied grin. "It’s not about liking him, it’s about understanding the importance of his role. Now, if you truly wish to continue debating something that has no substance, I suggest you pick a less meaningless topic."

Notus smirked, unphased by Satan’s fiery speech. "Oh, I’m sure you’ll have plenty to say about the next part of the discussion. After all, you’ve been itching for an excuse to prove you're the most qualified on the subject."

Satan’s eyes gleamed with a mixture of pride and amusement. "Don’t test me. I am the most qualified."

You couldn't help but chuckle, easing the tension in the air. "Alright, enough about Telemachus for now. Let's move on to something else."

Satan gave a satisfied nod, but his eyes lingered on Notus for a moment longer before he took his seat right next to you, obviously still fuming. "Of course, MC. But let me remind you, when it comes to literary discussions, no one is more knowledgeable than me."

──────────────────────

“You’ve been spending too much time with Notus.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yes ya have.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-uh!!”

“We are not having this conversation for the fifth time today, Mammon.”

He practically springs back up like a bouncing bunny, that messy shed of white hair finally not weighing on your lap. “But you absolutely have! Think about it, you already spend too much time with my overly-clingy and smug bastard of brothers, but now there’s a human in the mix? I barely get an eighth of your time now!”

“Wow…” You glare over at him, pulling him back into your chest with a wrap around his torso. “It’s crazy how mathematical you can get when it comes to dumb things, I’m almost proud.”

“Watch it!” He growls, but he doesn’t even budge when you decide to pull him back in, head tucking beneath your chin. “I get that they’re trying, however dumb their attempts are, but let me remind you, you are mine!”

“Please - I’ve got enough love to go around, you’re lucky to be receiving it given how ungrateful you sound.” Your lips had just barely touched before you heard a rather abrupt cough pull you two away.

“…”

“Did you guys have to have this conversation while I’m in the room…?” Notus grimaced.

──────────────────────

Leviathan was a tough nut to crack as always. But with some sweet cooing from you as you dragged Notus across the House of Lamentation with a clear goal firmly set in mind, Notus couldn’t say no. So that’s how they found themselves sitting opposite Leviathan with a seemingly hand drawn map on a table he snatched from the living room, several d20s scattered about in a rainbow of colours, and you.

Did the brother’s cunning tricks rub off on you? Did you seriously think Notus was about to survive another gaming party with Leviathan of all people?

But, Notus ultimately brushed it off. Hey, a completely human and chill game of dungeons and dragons is a pretty cool way to close some bridges and learn more about people - maybe this weren’t so bad after all? Such words were spoken too soon, because as soon as Leviathan started relaying the guidelines as the DM, Notus felt themselves die a little inside.

The rules were never ending. Most of them stupid. Irrelevant. And definitely intended to make the game much harder for Notus specifically (I mean really…he made up a rule that casters had to roll for arcana checks to use spells secifically because they decided to have their character be a mage). With that said, Notus saw this as an excellent opportunity.

Who said annoying DMs couldn’t be used for fuelling your own creativity?

You knew the pair didn’t particularly have a good track record of successful duo performances, but honestly, this rivalry made the game significantly more entertaining than the long rambles of story lore that Leviathan was dropping every few seconds (bless him, it was cute for an hour or so but lord did start getting drowsy).

“You see a boulder in front of a towering, looming door, the same that’s rumoured to hold the tomb of an ancient God yet to be awoken - how do you proceed?” Leviathan spoke calmly and yet with a tinge of know-it-all excitement that made you giggle.

“I want to cast telekinesis on the boulder to be able to move it to a safer location.” Notus chimed in, already prepping for an arcana check.

“Do a strength check instead.”

“…But I’m using magic? We’re level 10? I should be able to.”

“Well- uhm, this boulder is actually invulnerable to all spells because the God put a specific enchantment on it so it can only be moved by someone pure of heart.”

You admire to be that level of pettiness, but not wanting this game to last forever with the “subtle” bickering, you cut in with: “Sooo…how about we take a break? I’m starving.”

──────────────────────

At first, you thought they were just trying to fit in, maybe emulate the brothers’ more chaotic tendencies. But as time passed, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was something deeper going on, a simmering envy beneath all those surface-level antics.

One day, as you walked the halls of RAD together, Notus trailing a step behind, you caught a glimpse of a dejection you hadn’t noticed before. They looked at the brothers with a mixture of resentment and longing, eyes shadowed with something you couldn’t quite place—fear? Jealousy?

“MC, why do they like you so much?” Notus’s voice broke through the quiet of the corridor, pausing in their step to nervously look down at the floor with a look that almost resembled a drenched kitten.

You glanced over, noticing the tension in their shoulders, the frown that didn’t quite meet their eyes. “Like who?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light.

“Everyone. The brothers - hell, even Lord Diavolo’s wrapped around your finger. They always listen to you. And they laugh with you... I…no matter what I do, it’s like they see me as an obstacle.” Notus looked away, shrugging it off with a half-hearted laugh. “Guess it’s just the human curse, huh?”

The words hit a little too close to home. You remembered how you felt when you first arrived; awkward, a constant people pleaser who put themselves in harm’s way a dozen or so times. But you shook your head, giving them a warm almost nurturing smile. “Well, I’d like to think you made some good progress, forgiveness is hard but I can already see them becoming more lenient with you.”

Taking a tentative step forward, you hooked your arm with theirs in a friendly gesture. “It’s not about being human, Notus,” you said softly. “It’s about being genuine. They like me because... because I’m just me. Flaws and all.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have any of that. Just tricks and illusions.” Notus’s voice was tight, almost a whisper. “I thought that’s what they wanted.”

Notus’s eyes flashed with a flurry of emotion: fear, anger, maybe a little bit of hope. “I thought that’s all I wanted too,” they repeated, almost to themselves. “But I don’t know…I just want to be something.”

You smiled gently. “It’s okay. You’re beating yourself up when you’re already down. The brothers had to learn how to open up, too. Maybe…what you really need isn’t a lover, but , perhaps a friend?”

Notus looked at you, vulnerability finally breaking through their tough exterior. “I... don’t know if I can.”

“Hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?” you said, putting a comforting hand on their shoulder. “And who knows? You might find it’s not as hard as you think.”

[michanvalentine]

My next playthrough will have Karlach as the main character. I absolutely adore that tiefling, and I need to get to know her better—I want to play as her and romance Astarion as her.

I love the dynamic between the Dark Urge and Astarion; it's my favorite. But among the recruitable companions, I'm coming clean—I adore Astarion and Karlach as a couple!

She’s amazing—she’s got an incredible physique, she’s strong, brave, beautiful, fierce, straightforward and honest, cheerful—everything he’s not. Astarion is slender, ethereal, selfish, cunning, sarcastic, deceitful, sensual, and stunning. She’s rough, he’s refined. He's a master of seduction and flirting, and she's absolutely terrible at it. Karlach craves touch, while Astarion doesn’t want to be touched. I love opposites, even though they’re very similar in some ways—both tormented, both yearning to truly live. Fully, freely. Both haunted by monstrous figures from their pasts, who robbed them of their freedom and their futures. Both with deep scars to heal, both physical and otherwise.

I can already picture her hanging on Astarion’s every word just for the joy of hearing him speak, laughing wholeheartedly at his silly jokes. And I imagine Astarion admiring and envying her at the same time for her incredible strength of spirit, feeling safe in her strong arms… I imagine them together doing all sorts of silly, dangerous, but fun things! Laughing together. She’s so warm, he’s so cold… red and white… awwwwww… I need Karlach to lift Astarion like he’s a damn princess! Ahem… I didn’t expect to end up like this, that’s for sure. Help me! I don’t think I’ll get over this… and I might end up exploring this a lot in my fanfiction.

[maxdibert]

Would Snape even be capable of being a good boyfriend?

That depends a bit on what you think makes a "good boyfriend."

There are very basic things in romantic relationships that people often view as a plus but that should really be the foundation of any kind of connection. For example, respecting the other person's boundaries, honoring the agreements established, showing emotional responsibility, and generally treating your partner or the person you're involved with well. Many people believe that doing these things makes someone a good boyfriend because men are held to very low standards when it comes to being good partners, but those things are just the basics. They're the simplest things, really—just having a certain level of emotional maturity and behaving like a decent human being.

Relationships are more complicated than that, certainly, because it's not just about being a good or bad partner but about the compatibility between two people. This compatibility is based on two fundamental things: goals and character. It’s not about having identical goals and personalities, or even similar ones, nor about being completely different or opposites. It’s about finding a balance between those two concepts. You can meet someone who checks all the boxes for what an ideal partner might be and still not work out because your personality and theirs don’t mesh, or because your life goals are very different. You might even experience this with someone at one point in your life, meet them again years later, and have it work out because both of you are at a point where a healthy relationship is possible. There are a lot of factors at play.

Severus is a very complicated character with a terrible personality. And that’s just how it is. I love him precisely because he’s a prick with a bad temper, capable of being the most efficient, effective, and functional person in certain aspects but then getting triggered by something and suddenly behaving like a tantrum-throwing child incapable of managing his emotions—especially his bouts of anger. This makes for a fascinating and fun character to explore, but having a partner like that requires a certain kind of person. Severus wouldn’t be an easy boyfriend because he hasn’t had an easy life. He’s never addressed or worked through all the traumas he carries, he’s never learned how to manage his emotions, and he doesn’t have tools to handle them apart from using Occlumency—which is essentially an avoidance mechanism, and we know avoidance mechanisms are the absolute worst when it comes to emotional management.

You’d be dealing with a guy who, first of all, isn’t pleasant. He can have pleasant moments, but it’s not his default. He doesn’t know how to be pleasant and doesn’t like being pleasant. Being unpleasant is a type of protection he’s imposed on himself because he’s spent so many years performing that role to build a wall between himself and the rest of the world, especially to avoid forming personal connections or overly intimate relationships. He doesn’t know how to deal with positivity. I imagine him as someone who’s been through so much that he can’t quite believe he can have something good, and if someone were to ask him out, he’d probably think it was a joke or experience anticipatory anxiety, thinking they’re going to leave him any moment. He’d likely leave first or subconsciously sabotage the relationship to create a self-fulfilling prophecy and maintain the stigma he’s placed on himself—that he can’t be happy and everything goes wrong, blah blah blah.

He’s a deeply depressed person with terrible anger management, someone who would likely lash out over the slightest perceived attack, saying things that are incredibly, deeply hurtful. Then he’d feel terrible about it and, instead of apologizing, would fall into an avoidance spiral out of sheer embarrassment. He’s someone who’s very used to being alone, which makes people quite particular and fussy, often complicating cohabitation.

But on top of all that, he’s someone who wouldn’t chase after you, wouldn’t make the first move, or wouldn’t ask you out again. He’d be too terrified of feeling and losing because his emotional intelligence in that sense is quite stunted. So he’s a complicated guy, a guy with a lot of baggage, and someone who’s like catnip for people with a "rescuer syndrome"—those who want to save broken puppies from the street, “fix him,” or prove to him that life is worth living. That kind of partner would be terrible for Severus because he doesn’t need someone to change him. Lily already tried that, and it went terribly wrong because he has a specific personality, and you can’t put conditions on loving someone. You either love them with all their flaws, or you don’t—period. And that’s okay; it’s not a bad thing—it’s just incompatibility. You’re not going to change Severus, and you don’t have the right to change him. What he needs isn’t a mother or a caretaker; he needs someone who’s his equal, who stands up to him, and who, if he yells, will yell louder.

He needs someone who can understand his messed-up head, maybe even share some of that, someone with the same shitty character but greater emotional maturity at the same time to be the more rational one in the relationship. Someone who doesn’t judge him for what he’s done, who doesn’t even give it much importance. That’s to say, someone who can hold their own with him. I’ve always believed that, for someone deeply traumatized but unworked, the best match is another deeply traumatized person—but one who’s done the work. In other words, someone who has the same issues but has developed the tools to manage them because that creates the perfect balance: you understand the other person, you can handle them, and they understand you and can handle you, but when things go south, the person who’s done the work knows how to manage the situation and de-escalate.

I think that if Severus found someone who could keep up with him, then yes, he could be a good partner. Why not? He’s a very loyal and dedicated guy with almost obsessive devotion to those who earn his respect, trust, or affection. He’d do anything for someone he loves. He’s extremely devoted in his attachments because he’s so intense in that regard. The thing is, that’s not everything. He also needs to be with someone who can provide balance so he doesn’t act like a jerk. If he were with someone who gets scared at the first sarcastic comment or when he blows up over some nonsense, then no, he’d be a terrible partner. I mean, with complex personalities like his, everything depends entirely on the person he’s with and their character. Severus is a very difficult person. I think he could only show that he’s capable of having healthy and functional relationships with someone equally difficult but who has a clearer sense of things than he does.

[draculasstrawhat]

While we’ve tenuously made our peace with redemption arcs in fiction, as a society we are really, deeply uncomfortable with the idea that people can change. It’s part of the framing of people who do bad stuff as “inhuman monsters”, but it goes deeper. Not only is someone who does awful things bad, they must always have been bad, and will always be bad.

And it’s not true.

People change. Your mum, your best friend from pre-school, your high school bully, that celebrity you love, they contain the capacity for change, both for the better and the worse.

As do you.

There is no such thing as original sin. No one is predestined to evil, nor to goodness. Sure, some people have a better chance at turning out “okay”, but that is due to no innate virtue.

Our social circumstances, our expectations, our experiences, all shape the person you become, from before you even know where your hands are. Of course, as you grow older, you have choices - and will hopefully make the right ones - but the self is not static. Remaining a certain sort of person in the face of external pressures will be a daily choice (and sometimes a battle.) Especially as various organisations and ideologies deliberately and specifically seek to radicalise people for their own ends, through gradual “reasonable”‘change.

What’s more, outside of fiction, human “arcs” are not contained in to “starts good, gets bad,” or “starts bad, redeems self.” People contain multitudes, and change often comes in phases, or in inconstant ways. I love fiction, but it tidies up messy human complexities, and in doing so, tells us comforting lies.

None of this excuses bad behaviour, or hurting people.

But the tendency to see someone who has done bad as a monster, as someone who has always done wrong (and - if you didn’t spot it - was always cunningly concealing it), and was always predestined to do wrong, spares you the obligation of reflecting on your own behaviours, your own biases, and the ways in which you might be led to hurt, deceive, and dehumanise others.

People sleepwalk in to evil and characterising evil as a static and innate trait is akin hitting the damn snooze button on your own moral alarm clock.

If your high school best friend grows up to be a murderer as an adult, it doesn’t necessarily mean they were secretly evil all along and you “should have seen” they were a murderer-in-waiting. It means their circumstances and choices of their lives between then and now changed them from the nice kid they used to be, into something terrible.

Just as, if your high school bully grows up to run a grassroots charity and be keystone of their local community, it doesn’t mean they’re faking it - it means something happened to stop them being an arsehole. It doesn’t undo the harm they did to you then, but the harm they did then doesn’t negate the good they do now.

People change! For better, for worse, in directions they never guessed. And you might too.

That’s the key bit here: you might change too.

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

AHHHH HIHIHI !!

just wanna start by sayinh youre like one of my fav people on this platform i live and die for every post 😭💞

And i finally caught the requests so !!

Headcanons for various jojo characters with a reader who has a healing stand mayhaps?

Feel free to put whoever else in, i dont mind, but i'd love it if you could do bruno and diego, my bbgs fr 🙏

Hihihi!! Aaaaa thank you so much I am SO honored!!!! And when u mentioned Bruno and Diego r your bbgs I had a “did I just send MYSELF a request??” Moment lolol literally I had to physically restrain myself from calling Bruno my wife when Jojo came up while I was chatting with some people irl the other day lolol-

I love him and Diego so much! And YES, I can do this! Sounds interesting~

Bruno’s takes place before Giorno joins the squad

Content: for Diavolo and Diego: possessive and controlling behaviors, light depiction of injury

Various jjba characters x reader with a healing stand:

“Doctor! Doctor!”

Characters: Rohan Kishibe, Bruno Bucciarati, Diavolo, Diego Brando

Rohan Kishibe: You cannot BELIEVE he sometimes argues with you over healing him. Rohan has had a difficult personality for as long as you’ve known him, but really…you must insist you accompany him on his travels despite his protests. You’ve seen on more than enough occasions he’s liable to put himself in dangerous situations and get hurt. So you’re going with him.

He’ll always fight you on it, claiming it’s much easier to travel alone; but he has SOME nerve saying you in particular are difficult to travel with, because he always has some sort of grievance about almost everything when you go anywhere together.

You tell him if he didn’t put himself in harm’s way all the time you wouldn’t have to follow him around.

And even if he claims he won’t this time, you both know that’s not really a claim he can make. His inquisitive nature will Always get the best of him, so you will be there for when that curiosity inevitably gets him terribly injured in some way.

Thank goodness your man is difficult to kill…but he really needs to stop pushing his luck, it’s bad for both of you.

And despite him pretending your presence doesn’t change anything on his trips, he will try to be a little bit more careful when you’re involved. He thinks it’s because your constant worrying is irritating, but honestly he can’t bring himself to willingly lead you into something too dangerous. Most of the time.

Bruno Bucciarati: He will always consider himself responsible for the safety of his team, and the nature of your stand ability means you ease his mind when you’re near. You’ve seen his gang. They’re reckless, quick to get into fights, even with each other-there’s no need to worry about him but PLEASE do whatever you’re willing to do to make sure the others aren’t bleeding out from stab or gunshot wounds, or limping around with broken bones.

At Bruno’s request, you would always prioritize healing the injuries of the people he’s in charge of, but when the opportunity arises you will offer him some healing too.

He might not get nearly as bloodied and beaten as Mista does all the time…but you’ve noticed your dear Bucciarati seems to get chronic headaches, that especially intensify when he’s stressed about his work or managing the team. You never make a big deal out of it, don’t even mention it really, when you use your stand to ease his pain.

But he’ll always make a point to thank you. And gently remind you that he’s fine and you should focus your energy elsewhere.

You can only try to respect that for so long though. I mean, the reason your stand heals is because it’s in your nature to severely hate seeing your loved ones suffer.

And it’s not like he can be mad at you for caring about him. It’s just an unfamiliar feeling for him…he’s used to focusing all his attention on others and shouldering their burdens and taking care of them…so having you around trying to ease his pains…very unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.

It will take a while, but eventually he’ll grow comfortable enough to even ask for your healing touch when his pain is a little too much to bear on his own. But more often than not you’ll have to nag him to not push himself too hard and let you help him.

Diavolo: He considers it very fortunate you stumbled into his path. You consider it very Unfortunate. The Boss of Passione is an extraordinarily demanding partner, expecting absolute obedience and loyalty from you in return for his “love” and protection.

You’re not sure when you even wanted to be in a relationship with him, but you’re in too deep now. Defying an obsessive and paranoid man like him at this point would only get you in even more trouble.

He’s smothering, constantly breathing down your neck and making sure you’re not planning anything, and when he does let you leave wherever he’s decided to hole himself up, Doppio is always accompanying you. You’re expected to heal him if anything should happen, but you know Diavolo only says that in a weak attempt to veil that Doppio is actually the one watching you.

Daring to reveal your stand in front of anyone that is not him or Doppio will get you in hot water with the entire Italian mafia.

But it’s not like Diavolo needs your healing…he’s never around anyone who can hurt him anyways! You really are some just in case tool he keeps in his pocket; so your life is incredibly boring, even if it’s safe. And moving around all the time for his anonymity’s sake is annoying and uncomfortable. What’s the point of your stand if you can’t use it to help people?! He Really hates that compassionate nature of yours. Makes sense, given how thoroughly selfish he is…The two of you do not click at all, but he doesn’t care. You don’t need to like him, but he’s not letting you leave as long as you’re an incredibly useful tool.

Diego Brando: He does so adore how useful his partner’s stand is…To cure any sort of fatigue and injury…such a boon to him! He wants you all to himself and he will NOT be sharing you. So don’t even THINK about flashing your stand to anyone other than him, he won’t forgive you if you do that! He’s definitely using you a bit to his advantage. But he takes care of you in turn, making sure you live a comfortable life and giving you whatever you ask for. All you have to do is follow his easy rule and he’ll be a sweet and doting husband for you. Simple, right?

It tugs at your conscience sometimes though. To sit quietly on the side while someone suffers, simply because your husband demanded it. But a part of you can’t bear even the thought of upsetting Diego, after he’s been so good to you…and all he asked for was one simple thing.

And he was just looking out for you by telling you to keep your gift a secret…He cupped your cheeks in his hands so gently as he reminded you how bad it would be if an evil person found out about your powers. You could be in a lot of danger, and he might not be able to save you. So please, don’t needlessly endanger yourself like that. He couldn’t bear it if anything bad happened to you.

Deep down you know he’s just saying that to keep you under his control, but you love him…and you honestly believe at least a part of him also loves you.

So you’ll bend to his will usually. But what Diego doesn’t know can’t hurt him. If you mend a broken bone or ease a sore throat on occasion he might not find out. And even if he does find out, how mad can he really get at that? (Pretty damn mad, but you have too much value in his eyes for him to deal Too harshly with you, despite what he might say in the heat of the moment).

-

Ngl I kinda blanked when coming up with additional characters, so I just went with some more faves, haha, the POWER of: “feel free to put whoever else in”!

[nobodysdaydreams]

Accidentally a Long Anon, and not really a question or anything, just waxing on about silly ideas

In my imaginary perfect Wicked, one of the things I’d change (among other stuff) would be to extend the “as long as you’re mine” era (not in a sexy way (personally the canon sexiness doesn’t make sense to me but I’m very ace so maybe that’s why?)) where Elphaba and Fiyero are hanging out together— and they get to kick ASS. They’d be such a wild team together (“together we’ll be the greatest team there’s ever been…” musical motif wistfully in the background) it might give Elphaba an energy boost, and she’s got direct insider knowledge from her new sidekick. And they’d help lots of Animals escape Oz, swashbuckle guards, and they’d realise that they for-reals love each other 🥺 as they gaze into each others eyes, 🥺🥺 which are obviously reflecting the romantic lighting from a huge explosion of an Animal prison or something. 🥺🥺🥺

Actually have a little happy time together where things look up, until the Twister incident happens. I’d give them a montage of badassery before it all goes wrong.

Since they’re not cohabiting at Kiamo Ko castle HQ at this time, (I wish, haha. Wicked witch and her traitorous henchman living in their cartoonishly evil lair, wreaking havoc and dastardly deeds upon the poor wizard 😔 maybe in another life) would they be camping in the woods and hiding out in charitable Animal’s barns and Airbnbs? Windmills and such. Oh oh oh, an abandoned windmill date/song sounds awesome- Fiyero would be climbing all over the moving parts like it’s Tornado Wheel 2. They could climb onto a big outer blade and ascend uuup, into the last sun rays of the day, looking out over the landscape as far as the eye can see, before it rotates them back down, back into evening shadow. (Maybe in a foreshadowing way T_T oh it would be even more foreshadowing if it was just Fiyero on the windmill blade, and Elphaba was up on her broom, staying in the light for a little longer as the wheel rotates Fiyero down and away, grinning up at her. Putting my head in my hands ;_; Hyping her up saying that she can do anything, and he’d do anything for her T___T)

…

I kinda chuckle at the mental image of poor Prince Fiyero, living out in the woods without his fancy shampoo and razor and lotions and monogrammed pyjamas and slippers and satin sheets, and going a bit feral. Getting a bit unkempt. (In a perfect world he’d get an “I work with elphaba now” outfit, and it would slay) Growing his hair?! A love so strong not even a terrible terrible moustache can’t keep them apart :,) Ok maybe not the moustache. 😂 Unrecognisable to everyone except Elphaba and Glinda, maybe save for his eyes. (Glinda would scream, then recognise him, then scream again with renewed horror at what has become of him: he’s become… rugged…) So scruffy he’s compared to a scarecrow. But having the best time of his life.

That’s what’s floating around in my head right now, hopefully you enjoy 😂

I love everything about this anon. If Fiyero and/or Galinda tried to join Elphaba and live on the run in the woods with her, she'd have to stop them from eating poisonous berries. Actually, she'd only have to stop Galinda, but the only reason Fiyero wouldn't need to be stopped is because he already tried to eat the berries as a child and his horse stopped him.

[davidwallacesgf]

the fact that them putting wine into their veins WASN’T the physical, pain, and endurance test ??? 😭

[luneariann]

Sleep troubles

[4lexnilsen]

alex just lies there for a moment,  staring at the dim ceiling of the bunker,  his arms wrapped around abilene as she talks softly,  her words carrying the weight of beautiful albeit painful memories.   he feels the warmth of her body pressed against his,  her heartbeat steady against his chest,  and for a moment,  he lets himself focus on that —   on the fact that they’re both still here,  together.   safe,  for now.   their friendship like a stubborn wildflower,  blooming in the middle of a battlefield.   when she begins to talk about her mom,  caroline,  alex listens in silence,  his heart aching for her.   he knows this kind of pain all too well.   the ache of missing someone so deeply it feels like a part of you is gone forever.   and the story hits him even harder because it’s just so familiar.   he remembers his own mom dancing in the kitchen,  humming a tune only known to her,  spinning bryce or cameron around.   and so he tightens his hold on the dark-haired girl,  feeling the weight of her head on his chest as he breathes but finding it comforting.   

“caroline merino.”   he makes sure to memorize the name,  thinking it’s very beautiful.   “she must have been such a loving soul,  sounds like one.   you take after her,  then.   with your love for music and this voice of yours…   bet she’s looking down on you now,  feeling so very proud of who you are,  how much you’ve survived.”   there’s a brief pause as he contemplates was to say next,  a lump lingering in his throat.   “i’m sorry to hear that.   sorry about your sister,  too.   losing a child must be…   unimaginable.   what about your uncles and aunts?”   are they still out there?   he swallows hard,  his voice catching for a second before he speaks up again.   “it’s so unfair when terrible,  terrible things happen to good people.”   he had no idea just how much abilene has suffered,  the extend of her loss…   he gives her hand a squeeze that he can only hope feels comforting.   does she have any family left?

“my turn?   well,  only if i get a slice of that famous chocolate cake and get to keep the left kidney,”   he chuckles softly,  but then his features grow more sullen.   he kind of owes her an explanation.   “elizabeth nilsen,”   he says quietly,  testing it out like it’s something fragile.   “she —   she died giving birth to david.   i’ll never forget the smell in that room.   there was so much blood.”   his breath hitches a little.   he doesn’t say it,  but he feels it —   guilt mixed with anger.   like somehow,  his mom’s death is tied to david’s life,  and that’s a weight he’s carried for years.   he closes his eyes,  feeling a burning behind them.   “she was a teacher,  and baked the most delicious apple pies,  and loved books,  and always smelled like daisies.   my dad called her ellie,  the only variation of her name she truly liked.   she hated lizzy and libby and beth and liz.   maybe she only liked ellie because she loved my dad so much.   she taught me how to read when i was just four years old,  she was very proud of all of us…”   he’s grateful for the time they had,  but still feels like he missed out on something huge.   like there’s this part of him that should be there,  but is not.

the silence between them stretches,  but it’s not uncomfortable.   it’s heavy,  filled with the weight of everything they’ve lost,  everything they carry with them.   but at the same time,  it’s comforting to know that abilene is right here.   that she’s listening.   that she gets it.   the attempt at humor is weak,  but it’s there,  trying to lighten the mood and he appreciates it.   because that’s what they do —   they hold onto the little moments of light in all this darkness.   he rests his chin on top of her head,  closing his eyes and letting out a slow breath.   “but yeah,  tomorrow’s fluorescent-light-rise?   definitely around six.   they should have a pool here,  don’t you think?   with fun slides and all that.”

abilene believed that when a person was remembered , was spoken of , it was almost like they were here again . pain blossomed in her chest as though her heart was wrapped in thorny vines and squeezed when she thought of all of them , of her family , but even then there was beauty in that pain . grief and pain were just love persevering , wasn't it ? she was quiet and snuggled in a bit closer to alex .

❛ caroline merino . ❜ abilene said . the moment her mother's name left her mouth images of her flashed in abilene's mind . she wouldn't tell anyone this , not even this boy , but it had been so long that . . . sometimes the images were fuzzy . sometimes , she had memories of her mother's laugh or her touch but she wasn't able to conjure up an image of her face . ❛ she was . she would sing with her brothers and sisters almost every night , and we'd always go even if it was just one song . when tanner and angus were little she'd spin them around and around the dance floor until they did that irresistible little baby giggle . she taught me everything i know . . . ❜

abilene's hand , the one that was not tangled with alex's own , rested on his chest . she felt the steady pump of his heart beneath her palm and squeezed his hand . ❛ she died when i was nine . she was pregnant with my sister , papa named her cheyenne . she was too little and mama . . . her heart couldn't take it . i miss her . a lot . ❜

feeling as though she had yet again thoroughly brought the mood down , abilene sniffled and cleared her throat . ❛ what a coincidence , i'm in the market for a left kidney . not the right one , though , that'd be a deal breaker . ❜ abilene smiled , her hand on his chest moving to wrap her arm around his chest . even if the position was uncomfortable , which it wasn't , it didn't matter because as soon as she moved david shifted and his cheek rested against her hand . ❛ it's your turn . you wanna tell me about your mom , now ? ❜ he didn't have to , of course . ❛ or we could talk about the weather ? i bet tomorrow will be about seventy degrees , and that the fluorescent-light-rise will be about . . . six thirty ? maybe six ? ❜

[nanstar200]

Erm what the fri- *gets shot multiple times*

(More info about my comical disappearance in the tags LMAO)