#they won’t get out of my head as well
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
shadowtoons · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Have more doodles
211 notes · View notes
vodkakevinday · 5 days ago
Text
me once again having feelings about the whole Choking™️ thing
cw: mention of bruises
Kevin Day, for all intents and purposes, is a man not easily changed. He’s steadfast, stubborn, and dedicated. He gives his all to everyone and everything. He’s loved exy since before he was born, he’s poured himself into the sport, dedicating every last piece of himself hoping to find a connection to both his mother and father. He poured himself into coaching the Foxes when he was at his lowest, poured himself into intensive physical therapy to regain the use of his left hand. He’s given everything to the people around him, even if it was done cruelly. He’s given everything he could. He’s lied and lied and lied again for the sake of others and himself.
Maybe that’s why he finds himself staring at the bruises that line his neck. The bruises blooming into an angry red, some parts already turning into a dark purple. It’s the outlines of the fingers that gets to him. It’s the distinct lines of his unbruised skin showing through the bruises that his eyes can’t stop tracing. His eyes roam over them, cataloging them into his brain, over and over again.
This isn’t the first time he’s had bruises there; he’s had possessive lovers and a cruel brother before. Even then, the bruises were never this ugly. Never this angry. Never this noticeable.
The hotel bathroom he finds himself in is blurring around him and suddenly it’s too hard to breathe, too hard to keep looking at the bruises given to him by yet another brother. He must make some type of sound because suddenly there’s a knock at the bathroom door and a quiet, “Kevin? Are you in there?”
Before he could even attempt to answer the door slowly opens where he can see a blurry Renee quietly closing the door behind her. He doesn’t know when he fell to the floor but she’s there, crouching by him, close enough to reach out to him and far enough to give him space.
He attempts to smile reassuringly, “I-” his voice is scratchy and it hurts to speak. More tears fall as he desperately tries to let Renee know he’s fine and nothings wrong.
“I think you need a friend, Kevin.”
Shaking his head no, he opens his mouth to disagree, but she cuts him off from even trying.
“Let me be your friend.” She slowly puts out her hand, steady and gentle, like she’s about to touch a skittish stray cat, and holds it there. Her face shows nothing but kindness and empathy, it almost makes him want to flinch.
She says it so earnestly, so kindly that Kevin can’t stop himself from taking her offered hand.
25 notes · View notes
sunny-sainz · 3 months ago
Text
the carlos chants 😭😭😭 this man deserved so much
44 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So that one scene with the frogs, right?
40 notes · View notes
antyoneelse · 7 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I’m just… gonna… leave this… here…
12 notes · View notes
lordofthemushrooms · 1 year ago
Text
Not to be dark and kinky in the Dragon Age tag but Solas’s wolf symbolism should be slightly more than symbolism. He may be quiet and calm normally but I know him and Inky had weird fucked up sex in the fade. I know he chased her down I know he ripped her heart out with his hands. I know that Solas understands devouring as devotion more than anyone else usually can.
69 notes · View notes
s-ccaam-era-crepe · 4 months ago
Text
I need better coworkers,… mutuals come work with me
7 notes · View notes
ssruis · 6 months ago
Text
Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
7 notes · View notes
t4tstarvingdog · 2 months ago
Text
had the craziest nightmare today. hit every nightmare genre and added a new one just for me
#timothy's txts.#late getting off my break at work for my worst manager BUT at the worst place i worked#walked into my manager in a meeting with EVERY head person in our district and they all chided me for being late and told me to hurry and#then i couldn’t find my apron#and then the street turned into a riot with cars being targeted by rockets and pedestrians being. also hit by rockets ?#this lady and i were by each other and we were like well normally we wouldn’t steal these motorbikes (they were hot pink though and swag as#hell) and then we started trying to escape but my seat was too high so i couldn’t drive safely#eventually we made it to her house with a small group of my coworkers / friends#and then a coworker i really liked got targeted and killed bc of me and the killers were shouting my name and hunting me down#so i go inside this lady’s house and it’s huge and honestly really nice#and i’m like hey do you have a toolbox PLEASE i need an alan wrench to lower the seat so i can drive safely and get away#and she was like yeah second floor#i asked which room? give me a landmark of the room so i don’t search every one#and she said it’s directly on the landing you can’t miss it#i go upstairs (the people hunting me in a red minivan have pulled up to her house and are suspiciously pulling all around it and backing up#and looking in the windows and i don’t know if this lady would sell me out) and ITS A TOY HOUSE. ???!??? not a toolbox…#so i’m searching but the people come in so i’m running through rooms and being quiet and make my way down to the basement that connects to#the garage and look desperately for a fucking alan wrench and they’re getting closer and i go through a small closet and there’s a trap door#and i go in there where there’s another hidden door and i finally get to the garage#and i find a tool box and decide to write the lady a note thanking her and telling her why i left so quickly#but all the papers i find are filled with scary notes and i’m wondering why they make me so uneasy#until i realize they’re notes that were written to Me from. a guy who really fucked me up#and one of them says ‘trans hot’ and i literally go :( i don’t want to be trans hot…#<- specifically from him because of the issues.#and then i realize that he’s the one hunting me down to Get me (the red van was irl his family’s car lmao)#and i’m panicking in an increasing amount and i won’t be able to get to the motorbike and escape with my coworkers and friends#and then my sibling woke me up asking if i wanted a breakfast sandwich or pancakes. so. crazy dream to have at nine in the morning#ask to tag
3 notes · View notes
finderseeker · 3 months ago
Text
Every so often my mind cycles back to the beginning of the Double Dingsaster AU and the trauma I put Windy through (like he doesn’t have enough) and I just. Think about him.
#there are things I’ve mentally changed about that AU#things that are a bit different from that written-out bit from way back when#but. that gets the idea across I guess#asteri and her violent tendencies that come out when she’s afraid#the fear to hatred pipeline and trying so hard to stay angry because anger is a shield that protects you#‘if you’re always on guard you can’t be hurt’ ‘if you strike first they won’t get the chance’ —#only to realize she’s the one doing the hurting. she’s the one perpetuating the cycle; the one who refuses to leave it#she was becoming the kind of person that she so was afraid of.#I do enjoy pulling apart the idea of running from guilt in search of justification. Great stuff.#‘not a bad person but did bad things’ is such a tasty trope#and then from windy’s side… here’s this version of one of his best friends- and she hurt him.#what do you do when you know someone is only acting in fear? when does patience become resignation? when does kindness turn to submission?#what do you do when the only person you have is so afraid that it hurts you? what boundaries will you sacrifice to gain their trust?#AUGH.#and: how much are you willing to forgive once they realize the harm they’ve done? are you even the same people?#what does endless weeks of being the strong one do to you when you’ve been trying not to give into grief every day?#seeker talks#double dingsaster au#LOOK I’M NOT WELL#windy#asteri#i should rewrite those scenes properly instead of the frantic ‘gotta get this out of my head’ scrawling that the old post was
3 notes · View notes
queenkevindays · 5 months ago
Text
*
3 notes · View notes
Text
i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
3 notes · View notes
wavesoutbeingtossed · 6 months ago
Text
.
#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
2 notes · View notes
plugnuts · 2 years ago
Text
One time when Tweek’s having a lot of trouble with his shirt buttons those in CATG that have buttons will stand in solidarity with Tweek and unbutton their clothes to purposely wrongly button them back up to make Tweek feel better. Then they just keep it that way for the rest of the day
48 notes · View notes
breadhalfburnt · 8 months ago
Text
watch as i make comic panels about people that you all don’t even know about, let alone care about *cracks my fingers* lets get to work
5 notes · View notes
dutybcrne · 1 year ago
Text
I like to think every chance she gets, Sigewinne holds Wriothesley’s hand. Both bc of touch starvation, but also out of fondness. She’s so proud of who he’s become since he’d first set foot in a then much crueler Meropide and of all the changes he’s made; he is her very best friend, damn near family.
The handholding gets a lot more frequent after the incident with the Primordial water, as a reassurance to herself that he is alright.
3 notes · View notes