#they were supposed to buy one (1) egg

[jadecantcreate]

holding hands and running from chaos

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

Summary: What happens when two best friends try to get along under the same roof? You've been living with Jungkook for three months now, but your cohabitation is still a challenge for you. He continues to live like a real bachelor without following the rules you agreed upon from the beginning of your decision to live together. Should you find a compromise or should you find a new place to live?

Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hosuk.

🔞Age restrictions: 18+

👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

📕 Number of part: 14/?

🖇️Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.

👩🏼‍💻From the author: I was supposed to write a completely different story, but my muse disappeared. So I wrote this story to replace my previous one for some reason. I had the idea for a long time and I just finished the first part, which I couldn't finish for more than 7 months. I wonder what will come of this story. The Jungkook I created here is not like himself at all, but maybe he could have been. So who likes to read fanfiction about friends who become lovers then please give this story a lot of love.

⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

→ Part 1 → Part 2 → Part 3 → Part 4 → Part 5 → Part 6 → Part 7 → Part 8 → Part 9 → Part 10 → Part 11 → Part 12 → Part 13 → Part 14

Part 1. These fucking rules

The clock read 10 am. You left your room to satisfy the hunger that was making your stomach cramp. You went to the refrigerator and opened it. There was nothing in it but eggs and milk.

Yesterday you spent the whole day at the university and came home late at night. You had lunch in the campus cafeteria and didn't eat anything else. So your hunger was intense. You remember reminding Jungkook, your best friend with whom you were roommates, several times that it was his turn to buy the groceries for the week. You even wrote him a list because you knew for sure that he wouldn't buy everything he needed, and it wasn't a good idea to eat chips and beer.

Obviously, Jungkook didn't do what he was supposed to. The result was an empty refrigerator. Jungkook must have had more important things to do than buy groceries. Your stomach made a high-pitched growl. You felt your anger grow in direct proportion to your hunger. You slammed the refrigerator door shut.

Your eyes fell on the couch. Clothes were scattered around and on the couch. You raised your eyebrows and walked toward the clothes. You were seething with anger, not only did this careless guy not do what he was supposed to, but he was also leaving a mess behind. You were going to talk to Jungkook about how he was breaking the rules you had made on the first day you lived together.

It was Jungkook's idea. You decided to move in together because the apartment you were living in was too expensive. You were a student on a scholarship and could barely make ends meet, and only a part-time job at a convenience store allowed you to pay your rent. But you had to quit that job because you started to fail in your studies. The university where you were studying was supposed to give you a good profession, and you wanted to help your parents, who lived in a small town near Seoul and made soy sauce. They put a lot of love into you and did everything they could to give you a decent profession and to make you feel good about yourself. That's why studying well was a big priority for you.

And then one hard evening, when Jungkook came to your place for a beer, you complained to him about how unfair life was. He suggested that you move in with him and pay only for food and utilities. At the time, you thought he was joking or had had too much beer, but it turned out he was very serious. That's how you started living together.

But as it turned out, living with Jungkook was quite a challenge. He didn't keep the house very clean and liked to bring girls over almost every night. At first, you put up with it, of course, feeling a little irritated by it. But when you were trying hard to study and staying up late at night, it was difficult to learn the material by listening to the moans in Jungkook's room. So you decided that in order not to interfere with each other's lives, you needed rules.

You suggested some rules to Jungkook, and he kindly agreed to them. But he almost never wanted to follow them, so you often had small arguments about them.

It happened this morning, too, when Jungkook didn't buy any groceries so you will have to go the convenience store near your house to buy some food. You were in a terrible mood. But you were even more angry when you found Jungkook's clothes and women's things scattered around. You stared at the door of his room as you realized that he had brought another girl over that night.

With your eyebrows raised, you went to the kitchen and fried an egg for yourself. You flatly refused to go to the store because you knew that if you did, you would definitely buy food for Jungkook. And you wanted to teach him a lesson.

You were sitting at the table eating an egg when Jungkook's bedroom door opened. A sleepy Jungkook came out of it. He didn't have a shirt on, just the shorts he often wore at home. His hair was sticking out in all directions and his lips were pouty. You felt make muddle inside. And you felt like this every time Jungkook was half-naked. Even though he was your best friend, you couldn't help but think that he was a man, and a pretty good-looking one at that. You quickly gave him a glare full of lightning and continued to click the phone.

Jungkook noticed you and purred in satisfaction and headed in your direction. He came up behind you and bent down to look at your phone.

"Good morning," you heard next to your ear. Jungkook's voice was low and deep because he had just woken up.

"Morning!" you said dryly and continued to read the group chat with your classmates. Jungkook immediately realized that you were in a bad mood. He looked at you for a few long seconds and decided to start a conversation with you again.

"Did you fry the eggs? Where's my portion?" - He asked. You continued to ignore your friend.

Jungkook was about to ask you why you weren't talking to him when his bedroom door opened. The girl with whom Jungkook spent the night came out. You and Jungkook looked at her. She had the typical appearance of the girls he usually brought home. Slender, not tall, and with long black hair. Of course her figure was perfect.

She was completely Jungkook's type. You were her absolute opposite. You thought that Jungkook would never like you. Every time you met another girl that your friend brought home, you compared yourself to them for some reason. You were tall, but certainly shorter than him, and you had dark blond hair. Your figure was beautiful, but you definitely weighed more than 60 kilograms.

Jungkook's this night passion was standing in only her underwear. She rubbed her eyes and when she noticed you and your friend looked at her, she was visibly embarrassed.

"Uh, good morning." - She said quietly.

"Good morning!" you mumbled. You felt uncomfortable. Irritation threatened to burst out of you. You suddenly wanted to leave. You stood up abruptly, almost hitting Jungkook who was hovering over you. You quickly put your leftover food in the sink and hurried to your bedroom.

When you got into your room, you slammed the door and fell onto your bed. The morning did not start well. You were angry at Jungkook for not following the rules you had set up with him. You had always been good at following them, but your friend didn't seem to care about them. You had to do something about it. You decided to talk to Jungkook and remind him that you two had made those damn rules and that if he didn't follow them, you would have to find another place to live. Of course you didn't want to move away from him. It was convenient and beneficial for you to live with Jungkook in a way. But the irony was that by saving money you were paying with your nerves.

It was about half an hour after you heard the door slam, which could mean that Jungkook's girlfriend had left. You needed to take a shower because you had go to the grocery store to buy food. So after waiting about 10 minutes, you took all the things you needed and left the room.

Your gaze quickly glanced around the living room and kitchen. Jungkook was nowhere to be found. The apartment was quite quiet. You thought that he had gone to sleep in his room or might have gone out. You felt irritated again. But maybe it was for the best that he was gone. You walked to the bathroom door and was about to open it when it opened and your eyes met big black eyes.

Jungkook's hair was damp, and he was shirtless and wearing shorts. You shivered. You felt the heat spreading through your body. You continued to stare at each other for no more than a second, but it felt like an eternity.

"Do you want to take a shower?" Asked Jungkook, still standing in the aisle. "I thought you were sleeping".

"Obviously, I want to take a shower!" You replied dryly, turning away from Jungkook. You didn't notice his eyebrows jump up.

"What's wrong Y/N? Why are you so angry this morning?" - Jungkook asked as he approached you.

"Are you seriously asking me why I'm angry?" - You turned to Jungkook, trying not to look at his beautiful body.

"I'm asking because I don't understand what's going on? Did I do something wrong?" - You stared at your friend in shock. How can he ask you if he did something wrong when he does it all the time?

"Just tell me, are you really stupid or are you pretending to be?" - You clutched the T-shirt in your hand. Jungkook laughed at your words. Does he think it's funny?

"I'm not a mind reader, baby. So you'd better come right out and say it." - Jungkook's calling you "baby" made you even more angry. Usually you liked this affectionate nickname, but not on this terrible morning.

"What am I supposed to say to you, ha-Jeon? I'm like a fucking parrot to you all the time, and you don't do anything I tell you!" You wanted to talk to Jungkook in a calmer manner, but since you were an emotional person, it was hard to contain the anger that had long been in you. Your heart was pounding and your ears were ringing. You didn't understand why you were angry, but the more often Jungkook broke the rules and your personal comfort, the angrier you became. You'd been studying a lot lately, and the exam was about to start. Your tension and fatigue were making themselves felt, and Jungkook's behavior wasn't helping your situation.

"Y/N calm down. Are you mad at me for not buying the groceries?" - You didn't answer thinking "Hallelujah you guessed it".

"I really wanted to do it, but Jimin called and I went to his place, and then he dragged me to the club." - You continued to drill Jungkook with a menacing stare and he felt more and more guilty.

"Of course, how can you say no to Jimin and not pick up another beauty to take her to bed!" - You was indignant.

"Oh come on, Y/N are you mad at me for bringing a girl again?" - Jungkook asked.

"No, genius." - You snapped. "I'm mad because you forgot about the fucking rules again."

"Rules?" - Jungkook sighed. "You're doing this again?"

"Again?" you repeated his words quietly. Jungkook didn't want to argue anymore and walked past you. The scent of Jungkook's shower gel that you loved so much filled your nostrils. You gave your friend a shocked look.

"Jungkook, we created those rules for a reason, so that we don't violate each other's boundaries." - You explained, standing behind your friend as he gathered his scattered belongings near the couch.

"We weren't too loud!" - Jungkook tried to make excuses, but he sounded annoyed.

"It's not about being loud or quiet. You brought a girl home again, even though we agreed that we wouldn't bring partners. You didn't buy the groceries, even though I reminded you three times yesterday to do so. You constantly leave things scattered around, and I only go and clean up after you." - You could not stand it.

"Then don't clean it up, I didn't ask you to!" - Jungkook snorted.

"Are you serious now, Jeon?" - You laughed with a bit of hysteria. "We've been living together for almost three months now and you haven't followed a single rule, even though you promised you would every time!"

"I tried." - Jungkook admitted. "But these rules are..." He paused to find the right word. "All I'm saying is that I want to do whatever I want in my house!" - Jungkook turned to you and you, catching the look in his big deer eyes, stared at him. For a few unsuccessful seconds, you tried to figure out how to react to his words, but all you felt was anger mixed with guilt. It was your idea to create these rules, but he agreed to them, why didn't he tell you something was wrong?

"But... I mean, yes, it's your house and you can do whatever you want, but we agreed together that it would be more convenient for us!" - You said in despair.

"So let's just forget these stupid rules." - Jungkook said. He dropped the things he was clean up. All you could hear was the sound of your own heart in your ears. You're going to have to find a new place to live. Jungkook is not comfortable living with you. You can't continue to study normally and live in a bachelor's house without food and with the prospect of seeing a new face every morning of the girl your friend brought over. You exhaled loudly and closed your eyes for a moment.

"Well..." - You stuttered. "If you're not comfortable living like this, I'll have to find another place to live." - Jungkook stiffened. His eyebrows reflexively drew together, showing his face in a state of deep misunderstanding of what you said.

"What do you mean?" - He said sharply. "Why would you want to find another home?" - You looked at Jungkook and saw him getting angry at the whole situation. Your heart was beating like crazy, and anger was in almost every cell of your body. But the thoughts running through your head made you feel guilty. You wanted to make life easier for both of you when you made up these rules, but it seems like Jungkook had a hard time following them. He was used to living a certain way of life, but when you moved in with him, all of his usual things became forbidden or restricted. Knowing his freedom-loving nature, you understood why he resisted. But he agreed, he had the opportunity to add his own rules or offer something of his own. He just agreed, and that's what annoyed you the most right now. He was deliberately breaking the rules even though he knew how you would react.

Jungkook walked over to you. He stopped right next to you. You were only one step away. You did not take your eyes off him and tried to look only into his eyes. The fact that Jungkook was not wearing a shirt did not make your condition any easier. You always felt uncomfortable when he was naked.

"Y/N, let's calm down. You don't have to look for another home. You can stay with me. Let's just live without any of these stupid rules. Just together. As friends." - Jungkook wanted to touch you, but you took a step back.

"How do you envision that, Jeon?" - You huffed. "We're going to live without food in the fridge, you're going to bring a new chick home every night and I'm going to greet her cheerfully every morning. We'll live in an apartment where things are scattered and sometimes we'll have to clean them up. Or maybe we'll have fun when I bring my boyfriend here and he fuck me so you can hear my moans. Or bring friends from the university and sit here until the morning drinking beer or soju. Make life chaotic and have fun." - You almost burst into tears. Jungkook stared at you in confusion and surprise.

The words about your moans echoed in his head. "She's bringing her boyfriend? Does she have a boyfriend?" - Jungkook thought.

"Listen, Jungkook. I can't live like this. I am sincerely grateful to you for taking me in. But we are not a contractual marriage couple. I don't want to follow you around and clean up the mess you make. If we live together, we have to respect each other's boundaries. That's why those added rules were invented. But if you're not comfortable with them because I want you to, then I really need to move out." - You finally finished your monologue and exhaled heavily. Jungkook was silent for a few more seconds and then laughed to your surprise. Quietly and almost mockingly. Your face was again distorted by anger.

"Oh my God, you just gave me a good one." - Jungkook chuckled. "You've been holding it all in for so long. You should have told me earlier." - You thought you were going to strangle him. This arrogant half-naked man who is supposed to be your best friend.

"You think this is funny? I..." - You wanted to finally tell Jungkook what you thought of him, but he suddenly grabbed you in a hug. Without the possibility for you to move at all. He pinned you down so that your arms were pinned at your sides. You struggled in his metal grip, but to no avail. The struggle didn't last long, just a couple of minutes, and you didn't have the strength for more. You calmed down just as Jungkook leaned against the crook of your neck. His face was completely lost in your hair. You stood there for a few moments until you felt the vibration of his voice on your neck.

"Are you calm?" - You could feel your friend's breath leaving a trail on your neck, passing through your hair. "You're like that fire, baby." - You wanted to start pulling away again, but Jungkook held you tight, almost preventing you from breathing properly. "I'm so sorry." - He said. "I'm an asshole for not thinking about you." - Jungkook looked up, straightening up, and saw you almost holding back tears. He was hurt that he had brought you to this state.

"Please don't cry because of me, I'll follow your rules. And this time for sure." - He smiled lightly. "Just please don't go anywhere." - The tear you'd been holding back for so long ran down your cheek. Jungkook immediately wiped it away, not wanting to see you cry.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong too. I should have talked to you calmly instead of getting angry and yelling at you. We should have talked about it normally." - And you finally burst into tears. Jungkook was embarrassed and held you close again.

"It's okay, baby. I deserved you to yell at me." - These words made you cry even more. "Hey, don't cry, it's okay. We've worked it out. Please don't do this, I feel like a fool for making you cry." - You wanted to calm down, but the emotions you had been holding in for so long finally broke free. You had to cry out all the anger that had been building up inside you.

Jungkook picked you up in his arms and walked over to the couch where things had been scattered until recently. He still held you and after that seat down with you on his knees. You were crying so much that you didn't realize where you were sitting. He comforted you by stroking your back.

It took some time for you to calm down. You were hardly crying anymore, just sobbing slightly. Jungkook looked down at your crying face.

"Your eyes are red now." - You met his big black eyes. And suddenly you realized that he was holding you in his arms. One of his arms was around your waist and the other one was around your legs. You felt pressed against his naked torso. Only your T-shirt separated your bodies. For a moment, you thought, "It was interesting to feel his body by my own." You blushed at the intimate thought and quickly forced it away.

"Hey, are you okay?" - Jungkook asked you, looking at your face again. You tried to laugh.

"I'm fine." - You said in a tortured voice. You felt Jungkook's body relax.

"I'm glad to hear that." - You continued to sit there, but you seemed to be the only one who felt awkward. Because Jungkook didn't want to let go of you. He kept stroking you, running his arm around your waist. You didn't say anything. You thought about what to say. Or should you just say that you had to go to the shower, because that's why you left the room. Jungkook leaned against your shoulder and said with a desperate voice.

"Let's not fight anymore over these damn rules." - Begged Jungkook. All you could manage was a soft "let's." You wanted to say it more firmly, but your state didn't allow it.

"Y/N," - Jungkook called to you gently. "Let's not fight at all. I hate it when we fight!" - He confessed. You hated fighting too. Before you moved in with Jungkook, you hardly ever fought at all.

"I want everything to be fine with us. But it doesn't depend on me alone. I'm ready to compromise and solve all the problems at once." - You said.

"Then we have a deal?" - Jungkook held out his hands to you, extending his little finger and thumb. You smiled and intertwined your little finger with his and touched his thumb to seal your truce.

For a moment you sat there in silence and hugged each other. You wanted to tell Jungkook to let you go. But he was in no hurry. He seemed to like you sitting on his lap, or he was pretty sure you weren't going anywhere.

"God, we fought like we were married," - Jungkook said, laughing. You tapped him on the shoulder. What is he talking about?

"Don't be silly, Jeon. We were arguing like friends who just moved in together." - You said. Jungkook's face turned sly.

"You're be like that: I can't live like this. I'm going to leave you. I can't clean up after you all the time." - Jungkook laughed. His soft laugh both irritated and attracted you. "Doesn't that sound like something a wife would say to her husband?"

"If the world goes to destroyed and I'm told that I have to become your wife to save it, the world will die." - You replied sarcastically. Jungkook stopped laughing for a moment and looked at you with a challenge.

"No way!" - He didn't believe it. "You would love to marry me. I know you dream about me every night." - You were flustered by his words and almost boiling at the same time.

"Maybe in your dreams, Jeon. I think you're the one who dreams about me every night, or imagines my face when you look at that girl you're fucking." - You said in a triumphant voice as you poked your finger into Jungkook's bare chest.

"How did you know about that?" - Jungkook asked in a serious tone. "I confessed to you when I was drunk?!" You gasped at what you heard. You wanted to say something. Jungkook's seriousness made you believe that your joke was true. But your guess was shattered by your best friend's mocking laugh.

"You should see your face now!" - He said, almost laughing. You hit him again, but this time harder, but it seemed like it didn't matter to Jungkook. You tried to get up from his lap, but your attempt was unsuccessful, as your friend's strong arms pinned you down.

"You're a real ass. Let me go, I need to take a shower."

"I haven't finished talking to you yet." - Jungkook said in a purring tone. You tried to pull away.

"For example, I'm done talking to you. So go put some clothes on and go get some groceries, we need to make lunch." - You said.

"Yes, I'll go to the store right now. I'll even make us lunch, but you have to answer some questions for me." - Jungkook agreed and offered a deal.

You thought for a second, studying his sly look as it wandered across your face. He's definitely going to ask you something personal. What was he up to?

"And dinner, too, if you want to hear the answers to your questions." - You've outplayed your best friend. You finally stopped wriggling and sat down with your arms crossed over your chest. Jungkook didn't mind your conditions and smiled smugly.

"Deal." - He cleared his throat. "You said something today while we were fighting. You haven't told me anything lately." - You glanced over at Jungkook, who was obviously searching for words to ask you something. You wanted to laugh because it's usually not a big deal for Jungkook to ask you anything. And this applies to any topic. "Did you get a boyfriend?" - He finally asked. His eyes ran over your face, carefully studying your expression. He wanted to know if it was true, if you had found someone to fuck you so that he could hear your moans.

You expected to hear any question, but not this one. What makes him think you have a boyfriend? "You said something today while we were fighting."Jungkook's words echoed in your head. A puzzle formed in your head and you laughed.

"Oh my God, is that all you remember from what I said?" - You laughed. Jungkook looked at you, waiting for an answer. Of course, that wasn't the only thing he remembered. He also remembers how you said you were going to moan. "I don't have a boyfriend. Look at me. It's not physically possible with my study schedule." - You glanced over at Jungkook. He seemed... pleased? "I said it as a possible scenario." - Jungkook couldn't hide the relief he felt. He sniffed his nose out of old habit and asked another question.

"Good. Then I have one more question, and then I'll let you go. Have you ever had sex?" - You instantly blushed. Who even asks that question so directly? It's so...so...You seem to have forgotten how to think and speak. How you were supposed to answer questions.

It so happens that you haven't had sex. You didn't even date anyone. Studying took up all your free time, both at school and at university. The guys who met you almost immediately disappeared when they saw what a nerd you were. But you didn't care about those idiots because you didn't have time to meet anyone. Your friends and your studies were enough for you. It's not that you didn't think about getting a boyfriend. You're almost 23, but don't you have to study and become successful first, and then look for someone to date and have sex with?

Living with a friend who was a man under the same roof and who brought girls almost every night, and hearing those fucking moans made you think for a moment that you too want to feel hugged, kissed and made to feel so good that you moaned loudly. But you stopped yourself every time. First of all, you don't have time, and secondly, who would want to date a girl who only allows books in her bed?

You looked away from Jungkook and stepped your hands into your lap. Should you answer him or not? Will he mock me? Let him try and make me feel bad for him.

You were brought out of your thoughts by your friend's voice.

"Baby? I asked you something!" - He insisted.

"Why do you want to know that?" - Turning and meeting Jungkook's gaze, you said.

"Just tell me. I want to know." - He said firmly. Your heart started to race again. The blood was pounding in your ears. Why should you be worried? He's just your best friend. You're always honest with him. You know a lot about him because Jungkook likes to brag about his intimate accomplishments.

"No." - You said. "I didn't!" - Something strange is happening between you two today. Jungkook is acting strange. Even though he seems to be the same Jungkook, why can't you stop thinking about how he's making you feel.

Jungkook smiled lightly. "I thought so." - That was all he said. You wanted to know why he asked you that, but he let go of you, urging you to get up. He stood up after you and looked down at you from the height of his height. You had to tilt your head a little to look at his face.

"What would you like for lunch and dinner?" - Jungkook asked before you could ask your question. You felt a little embarrassed and answered: "Chajamyeon and Samgyopsal."

"I'll be back soon, you go take a shower." - Your friend said, picking up his clothes that he had thrown around yesterday. A moment later, Jungkook's broad, naked back disappeared behind his bedroom door.

● Next chapter ↱

[nothing0fnothing]

hey I have some lived experience personal care advice I had to learn the hard way in my adulthood after growing up with abusive neglectful narcissistic parents. Maybe it will help someone else.

The most important room in your house to be clean is your kitchen. If you only have a few spoons and a whole house of mess, spend them on getting your kitchen clean, hygienic and tidy enough to be usable.

spending money on things that last longer or work better isn't a waste of money. You don't have to use the cheapest of everything because spending is bad work out what YOU think is worth splurging on.

Always buy the best shoes you can afford. Taking care of your feet is so important for your health. If you're afab the same goes for underwear, buying one pack of good quality, good fitting cotton breathable underwear will save you so much money on feminine care supplies if you get what I'm saying.

Get your feet measured in a shoe store. Especially if you're over 25 your feet will have grown since you were 18. I spent years thinking my body was wrong because my feet ALWAYS hurt. My girlfriend suggested we measure them and I realised I was in shoes two sizes too small. For years!! I didn't even know shoes were supposed to have space in them.

a cheap bottle of washing up liquid (dish soap) costs like £1 and can be used on basically every surface. Clean your counters, toilet, sinks, bathtub or shower, oven and hob with a scrub daddy and some cheap washing up liquid. It doesn't react with other chemicals and it cleans deeply and easily. I even use it on the inside of the shower glass where it collects that crusty water residue.

When bathing with an unscented bar soap everywhere first. Then wash a second time with your scented soap. The scented liquid soap isn't designed to clean you it's designed to make you smell beautiful.

Don't use scented soaps on your kitty. Don't use femfresh or other feminine washes on your kitty. Don't use feminine wipes on your kitty. You use your unscented bar soap you use on the rest of your bodh on your kitty once a day. That's all it needs.

You don't need sewing skills to mend things. A £5 sewing kit you keep somewhere in your house and maybe a 2 minute YouTube tutorial is all you need to fix holes in your clothes and make them last longer.

Cereal for breakfast is quick and convenient but aim to eat protein for your first meal. Things like eggs, meat, a protein shake, Greek yogurt. You'll feel fuller for longer and your body will appreciate it.

most things don't need to be ironed. For the things that need creases out a steamer is better for the fibres and easier to use. Simply hang up the item and hold the steamer against the creases.

[catladyoftheyr]

Too Sweet (Ch. 2)

Harvey x Reader

Ch 1 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4

Summary: this is based off Harvey’s 2 heart event in the game! I wanted to expand on it and add a little tension after their little meetcute. You go to visit George and Evelyn but Harvey is in the middle of a private session with them. You get caught in the middle of everything.

A/N: cliffhanger ending I guess bc I’m tired lmao. Not exactly fluff but not really angst either.

Word count: 722 it’s Smol

The end of spring had come around in the valley and the shift toward warmer weather had left you feeling rejuvenated. You were slowly settling into a new routine, making your way into the chicken coop to collect their eggs. The hens bobbed around affectionately at your feet and you bent down to ruffle them softly as you scattered feed. After the chickens were tended to you filled your watering can, still straining from its weight.

After you were satisfied with the progress on your morning chores you sat on your porch and admired the view. It was so quiet in the valley, no car horns or pounding construction. You noticed your tulips had bloomed and recalled Evelyn mentioning they were favorites. You gathered a few flowers as gently as possible, wrapping a pale ribbon around the stems to hold your makeshift bouquet in place. You laid the bouquet in a basket and started on your way into town.

Passing by the bus stop you noticed a patch of leeks that had sprouted. You added them to your basket, careful not to damage the flowers. Evelyn had mentioned they were her husband’s favorite in passing, and you’d grown fond of him as well. You found your mind wandering as you followed the path toward the elderly couple’s home. You thought about stopping by the saloon to buy Harvey a coffee, and to find out what Gus liked so you could properly thank him for his work.

Evelyn had made a point to tell you multiple times to let yourself in when you visit, no need for knocking. You turned the knob and stepped into the living room. You quickly realized you’d stumbled into something private. George and Evelyn were seated in the room, listening intently as Harvey preached about the importance of a balanced diet. Before you could turn to leave you heard the doctor’s voice call out.

“This is a private session. You can’t be here.”

“Sorry! I didn’t realize you were here. I was just leav-“

George cut you off mid-sentence as you tried to back out the door. “Wait just a minute. I want a second opinion. “

Harvey let out an exasperated sigh. “George please. I’m your doctor. I'd appreciate it if you’d trust me. I went to school for eight years; I'd like to think I’m qualified when I tell you to eat less sodium.”

“I think Harvey’s right, George,” you added sheepishly. “I’m sure he has your best interest at heart. Besides, there’s plenty of healthy options that taste great. I brought you some leeks” you raised the basket meekly. George’s expression softened.

“I suppose you’re right. I’m sorry for fighting you, Doc. And I appreciate your kindness toward little old me. Thank you for the leeks, they’re my favorite.” You said your goodbyes and apologized again for interrupting before setting the basket down on a table and leaving.

Your cheeks burned red when you walked into the sun again. You cursed silently for not knocking, or for dropping by so early. You’d never been so embarrassed. Harvey must think I’m a fool and a stalker you thought to yourself as you paced around town with no destination in mind. You turned back and walked toward home. You felt the tears well up in your eyes and prayed no one else would try to make conversation today.

You slid to the ground in the chicken coop, back against the wall with your head in your hands. Tears began to run down your cheeks while the morning's events ran through your head in a loop. You cried quietly for a while before you felt gentle pecking. You scooped the hen into your lap and laughed softly. “I screwed up today, Scramble.” The chicken looked at you inquisitively. “I totally blew it with that cute doctor. I walked in on him with a patient.” Scramble clucked sympathetically while you pet her. “I’m serious, I made a fool out of myself today. He’s never going to take me seriously now. He probably thinks I’m a total loser.” Your other hen cooed as if to respond from across the room. “You’re right, Henrietta. I don’t need him or his stupid mustache.”

“You think my mustache is stupid?” The coop door opened and Harvey stood in the entrance with a hurt expression.

[dollielliot]

͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏the missions (these are excerpts from eric harris's site)͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏❀ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏

[CONTENT MISSING]

1 The first was when we put an entire assortment of very loud fireworks in a tunnel, and lit them off at about 1:00AM. This mission was part of a rebellion against these assholes that shot one of our bikes one day. They were rather angry that night, and we were very happy. We will be doing another hit on their house sometime in the near future. And that one will be much closer. And louder.

After each mission we get drunk. Not with wimpy beer, we only use hard liquor. Aftershock, Irish Cream, Tequila, Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, and sometimes a few shots of EVERCLEAR. We also sometimes make up our own shooters. And sample others (never try a prairie fire, its killer!). In our next few missions, we are planning to hit the dorks house a few more times, along with a few other houses. And also set off some more fireworks at that tunnel. We each have a large supply of fireworks...loud ones...and soon I will have my license and we can drive around any place we want to. heh heh. Soon I will be putting our directions for mixing drinks that we make up. We will put up any good shooter or other drink that we try. So check this place out often.

[CONTENT MISSING]

R....e....b....e....l....C....l....a....n

this page was written by REB

REB VoDkA KIBBz

2 Our second mission was against this complete and utter fag's house. Everyone in our school hates this immature little weakling. So we decided to "hit" his house. On Friday night (2/7/97) at about 12:15AM we arrived at this queer's house. Fully equipped with 3 eggs, 2 rolls of toilet paper, the cheap brand, no pretty flowers, (we were disappointed to) superglue, and the proper tools to make his phone box a busy box (for those of you that are stupid, a buy box is where you set their box so that when they try to make a call, they get a busy signal and when someone else calls, they get a busy signal too). We placed 2 eggs in his very large, thick bushes. We just barely cracked them open so they will be producing a rather repulsive and extremely BAD odor for sometime. We placed the last egg on his "welcome" mat. It was very neat, I cracked the egg, put the yoke in the center, and the 2 halves on either side of the yoke. Then we teepeed his large pine tree and this...oak? tree. I don't know, it's big though. It wasn't a complete teepee but it was enough to agitate the homeowner greatly. We also put the superglue on the front door and on the little red mailbox flag. 

3 This mission was an attack on the people who shot Vodka's bike, and on some random houses. First, after sneaking out of my house at around 1:55, we lit off 1 strand of 200 thunderbombs and 6 bottle rockets. We had also set a time delayed assortment too. This was made of 10 bottle rockets and a few crackling balls. We aren't really sure if those went off though because by the time they would have, we were a mile away. After the fireworks we went over to this asshole's house. His name is brooks brown {redacted by FBI and missing in files - possibly home address}. If any of you feel like pranking him. Anyway, we didn't really do much to him. Just put some model puddy on his Merc. Then, we went to another kid's house, and started to teepee his big, tall, thick, thorny-ass-tree. We set off the motion detectors about 4 times, and we dodged 1 car. But we didn't get caught! His tree was completely covered and wrapped in ass wiping paper. Even though we only had 4 rolls, we did one helluva good job. After that we moved some rather large rocks onto people's driveways and tagged RC into a fence. Then, we came home and got drunk while watching Bordello of Blood. 

4 This mission was frehkin unique. The mission was from my house (REB), through the corridor, past the graves, and to the place where we do all of our fireworks. It was supposed to be like the other missions to this place. The weather was nice, we had 4 items made up and ready for use. The first fuse didn't work. The second fuse malfunctioned also. Both of those items were just about 100-120 thunderbombs strapped together. We had one more like the first 2 and we also had a little contraption of bottle rockets. These bottle rockets were strapped together, and put into a bottle. We placed this bottle on top of a large hill. So quite a few people could see. After about the 3rd try, I decided to just light the fuses that were directly from the rockets. Usually we use loooong fuses so we have time to get away. But this time, with Vodka and Kibbz standing over in front of some bigass shrubbery. I just did the direct fuse. After lighting it I ran like a sonuvabitch to Vodka and Kibbz.

 By the time I made it to them the rockets were starting to go off. We had about 50 in the assortment, so it lasted a while. It was rather perrrty. Then we busted the bottle and went BACK to the 2 strips that didn't work. They both had rather crappy quality fuses so they went out before they reached their target. I took the last one, tied the remainder of the first 2 fuses to it, and lit it for the final f*ckin time. Since I am the fastest in the group, I usually light the fuses and Kibbz would be at the point where we stop running. Vodka would keep guard while I light. This time both of them went over and laid down on the side of this hill about 100 yards away. This would be the first time we have ever seen our own work in action. All the other times we just heard them. I lit it, ran to the hill, and watched the lovely ass fireworks go off. They lasted about 45 seconds, a total of around 400 went off. Dogs were barkin and everything. It was really cool to see em all to. 

After that we went to this point in the trails that looked like the Q from quake. We smoked some cigars, and headed home. Except...when we were a few blocks away from home, we had an incident. We were walking along the sidewalk when a f*cking garage door opened at the house that we were right by! We bolted into that person's yard...and ducked down and tried to be as quiet as possible. This adult came out, got his newspaper(it was about 4:30 in the AM) and went back in. I tried to signal Vodka and Kibbz but they didn't see me. We waited...a few minutes later the man got in his car and started down his driveway. The flood of lights from his car just covered us. He stopped, got out, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU!" we got up, said we were just passin through and stuff, and he kept sayin "GET OUT OF HERE", "ILL CALL THE COPS!" and "WHO ARE YOU." We f*ckin hauled assholes and elbows home. 

This mission was also liquor free as a result of this person named Brooks Brown {redacted by FBI and missing in files - possibly home address} who tried to narc on us. Telling my parents that I had booze and @#%$ in my room. I had to ditch every bottle I had and lie like a f*ckin salesman to my parents. All because Brooks Brown thought I put a little nik in his windshield from a snowball.......BS? yes, Anyway, that was mission 4.

5 This mission was one of the best we ever did. This was from Kibbz's house to several locations in his neighborhood. That night was probably the longest walk we ever did. First we went to this soccer field/playground. It was right on the corner of a very busy intersection. So every minute we had cars going by. There was a lot of moonlight that night, we got to the playground and dodged the lights of cars for about 20 minutes. Then we decided what our first strike would be like.

We got a big McD's cup, and went to the center field of the soccer field. We got out about 20 bottle rockets that were stripped together, and a 100 somethin strip of blackcats. Each had very good and long fuses so we had lots of time. We lit them, and ran over and got in front of these big pine trees. We were totally out of vision. The rockets went off first. They launched out over the field and then the strip went off, after that we started goin back the way we came. Which went through this trail about 35 yards wide with houses on either side. We found this large metal tub...perfect for firecrackers!!! We decided that Kibbz and Vodka would walk off toward the street on the other side of the trail and hide behind some trees while I lit it. Except...the street was over 100 yards away. And they were about 15 yards past it. Once they signaled me, I lit the small assortment of thunderbombs and about 50 stickless bottle rockets. They would only make sound, no visual effects. But anyway, I lit and sprinted the whole f*ckin way. About 3/4ths the way the fireworks went off, I was right in the middle of this bigass trail.

I never ran so fast in all the missions. But I made it to the others and watched all these lights go on from the houses. Then we walked over to this big open hill between some houses and a busy street. We got a long wooden board and placed it on the hill. We had a long strip of about 200 and a little brick of about 3 packs of thunderbombs. This time we used a cigarette fuse. We only needed about an inch of it. We lit the cigarette and went over to hide behind some trees. When it went off it was VERY loud where we were so we bolted outa there. After a few minutes we went back to see if all the stuff had gone off and it all did. So we got some souvaneers (i know misspelled) and went home. Drank some Aftershock that night too. We were supposed to have a few chicks come with us, but they couldn't make it...so maybe next time.

[CONTENT MISSING]

              6. Awwww yeya. This mission was so fuckin fun man. Ok, first of all, my dad was the only parent home so it was much easier getting out...but still hard since all these rocks in my backyard make so much noise. Plus the neighbors faulting dog barking its faulting head off. First we went through the corridor...going through some very tall grass fields...not as tall as the ones in the Lost World, but close. Felt kinda cool. Then we set up the strip of 1132 firecrackers. Using w cigarettes as starting fuses, we had plenty of time to spare. We also had a nice little crackering fountain hooked up to the fuses too. After a few minutes of setting it up, we lit it and went over and hid it on top of this big cement pipe going under a street. We were on the side of a hill so we hid in the grass. There was also a full moon that night, and not a foaming cloud in the sky. So it was like noon on the equator when we were out in the open. But, black clothing and tall grass sure helps. After about 5 minutes (forever) it began.

Beforehand we watched as some lights in the target house went on.....then off. Maybe the bastard heard something. But when the strip started, he turned his bedroom lights off. The strip lasted for about 30 seconds.....we think.....it was very fucking long. Almost all of it went off, loud and bright, everything worked exactly how we wanted it to. After about 15 minutes we started down the bike trail to the next target. The first targets lights were on again in the bedroom but we think we got away undetected. While we were walking to the next target we shot some stuff. Heh, VoDkA brought his sawed off BB gun and a few BBs too. So we loaded it, pumped it, and fired a few shots at some houses and trees and stuff. We probably didn't do any damage to any houses, but we aren't sure. The gun was not loud at all, which is very good. At the next target, we set up the saturn missile battery and the rockets. These both had fuses about 2-3 feet long. I lit them as VoDka and KiBBs were hiding in the shadows. 

Luckily there were some trees and stuff at the 2nd target so we could hide pretty good. Anyway, I lit and went over to the others. We watched as the fuses burned and burned...then the rockets went off. It was pretty nice, not so much meant as a prank, but more as a nice little fireworks show. They made some noise, but nothing to shit yer pants about. But the battery didn't work. So I went back, checked it out, and the fuse had burned down to about 2 inches. So I just said up yours baby nad lit it. Right as I made it back to the others it went off. It was pretty quick, and loud too. Since the missiles are whistlers, they probably woke up a few residents. YEY. Then we started heading to this construction site. It’s right on the side of a kind of busy road, but before the houses. We dodged a few cars, messed around at the site and we also swiped some signs from this fence that was put up around the soon-to-be-foundation of whatever is being built. The signs read "RENT-A-FENCE" and had some 1 800 number on them. So we got some very nice souvoneers (spelled close enuf) from that place.

Then, as KIBBz and VoDkA were down in the foundation hole and I was up on top, a cop drove by. We had enough time to see it, take cover, and watch it go by, so it didn't get us by surprise. But once we saw it was a cop we decided it was time to farming LEAVE. He didn't stop, he drove right by, but @#%$ he mighta been looking for us. So we got out of the fence, grabbed our signs and went to the neighborhood again. We didn't have that much trouble getting back home, just some dogs and @#%$. Once we got in, we were tired as a priest after a 5 hour orgy. The total mission took about 3 hours. We left around 12:30 and got back around 3-3:30. We are not very sure but it lasted a while. And damit, it was well worth it. We needed that mission too, we were all pretty tired of waiting and our nerves were just about shot. So it was perdy relaxing to be free like that.

[CONTENT MISSING]

{mission unnumbered} [CONTENT MISSING]

NEXT MISSION=aaaan whenever

Ok people, I’m gonna let you in on the big secret of our clan. We aint no god damn stupid ass quake clan! We are more of a gang. We plan out and execute missions. Anyone pisses us off, we do a little deed to their house. Eggs, teepee, superglue, busyboxes, large amounts of fireworks, you name it and we will probably or already have done it. We have many enemies in our school, therefore we make many missions. It’s sort of a night time tradition for us. 

It’s a very close replica of the missions sites. But we have never seen the inside of the house…so we just guessed. It’s also cut off where the area isn't important (ya know I didn't want to put in all of the neighborhood!).  

The mission has been done. And the rebels…once again… emerged victorious. Vee falking blew de sheeeit outta lossa stoof!!

As for the next mission, we haven't decided what to do or where to do it. I had some thoughts about hiding in some large bushes and shooting stuff. Or maybe some more aerial attacks. But we need to go up to Wyoming and load up on that stuff. We are running low. Plus we just got our paychecks….they aren't big…but they can cover quite a bit of shit. We still need to get the fuses too. So far, the next mission will probly be in July sometime. But we AINT SURE. 

[CONTENT MISSING]

[ichinisankaku]

Backstage Translation - Sharing Out Cuteness (Part 1)

Sakuya: These chocolates are delicious, Muku!

Muku: Yay, I'm glad! When I heard these yogurt and strawberry chocolates were only being sold this Spring, I figured it'd be nice to bring them to today's tea party.

Homare: Quite right. They've a truly lovely taste. Not being too rich, you find yourself reaching for another one.

Sakuya: And they go perfectly with the tea Homare-san prepared!

Muku: Yeah! Alice-san's tea is really tasty, I love it.

Homare: That's wonderful. I purchased this blend recently from a specialty store, if you two are fond of it I'll endeavour to buy from there again.

Muku: Wow, are you sure?

Sakuya: Thank you so much!

Muku: By the way, you're helping out at that café too, right Alice-san? I definitely want to go and check it out!

Sakuya: I'm excited too. Homare-san's really good at brewing tea, so I'm sure he'll be a big help!

Homare: Thank you. It's a rabbit-themed café, so I'm looking forward to seeing what poems will sprout from it.

Sakuya: Speaking of rabbits, I saw some adorable tea bags the other day. Should be on my phone…

Ah, here!

Homare: What's this now…

Muku: Wow, they're so cute!

Homare: There's a rabbit clinging to the rim of the tea cup, as if soaking in a bathtub.

Sakuya: Looks like there's dogs and cats too, and even unusual animals like otters.

Muku: It seems easy to drink, and would probably make a good gift. Choosing the perfect animal for who you give it to sounds fun as well.

Homare: I see… I myself would never have imagined tea bags such as this exist.

Homare: (When I went to stock up on those tea leaves Sakuya-kun and Muku-kun like, I ended up taking the opportunity to buy a whole variety of things. I'll try to use them at the next tea party.)

Izumi: -Ah, Homare-san!

Homare: Oh my, are you also out to buy something, Director-kun?

Izumi: I'm on my way back from a meeting. Are you buying something?

Homare: Indeed I was. I'm heading home having just finished my business. If you're also returning, shall we go together?

Izumi: I… want to say yes, but I'm thinking maybe I will go shopping.

Homare: Allow me to accompany you, then.

Izumi: You sure? Thanks a lot!

Izumi: Fufu. Having Homare-san push the cart really is refreshing.

Homare: Is that so? You must have seen this many times already.

Izumi: Yeah, but that's not the poi- ah, onions and carrots! And minced meat, too!

Homare: What a fluid way of tossing the ingredients in. Perfect! I feel a poem coming up!

A silver runway for a vegetable and meat harmony, clad in spicy finery!

Izumi: Ahaha. That poem's really put me in the mood for curry. Though, today I was thinking of using eggs for-

Wait, I forgot the ketchup! I'll go get it now, wait here for me please.

Homare: Understood.

*footsteps*

Homare: …I was certain she was going for keema curry, but I suppose it was omurice.

…Oh? Oh me oh my?

Part 2

[incorrectbatfam]

Okay, so I want a little angst fic where Robs twins and Milo get kidnapped, and the kidnapper is doing the whole cliche thing with ‘cHoOsE oNe, will your twins or Milo live??’ and, Rob thinks, it should be obvious, right? Pick ur twins! But, it’s a difficult decision, he can’t let any of them die, and he’s stressing Tf out. Like, Milo is fourteen! And the twins love him! (Kinds? He bullies them sometimes but it’s fineee)

At the end, the bats come and save them, but it’s still an eye opening experience.

The Gooners Christmas kidnapping fic that exactly one (1) person asked for

Word count: 3,375

———————

“What’s the password?”

Milo chuckled. “Jackie, you’re only supposed to do that when you get picked up from school.”

“Dad said to always ask before getting in the car with anyone,” the six-year-old replied. 

“But you know me.”

“What if you’re a shapeshifting alien trying to abduct us? Or an evil robot clone?” 

He sighed. “Unicorn ice cream. Now are we going Christmas shopping or not?”

“Sure,” she said, “when Gunner quits being a slowpoke.”

As if on cue, the other boy stumbled out of the three’s shared bedroom, tugging his blue snow boots on. Since he didn’t know how to tie the laces yet, Milo kneeled down and helped him.

“Now remember, the mall’s gonna be really busy, so what do we do if we get separated?”

“Meet at the food court,” they say in unison.

“And what do we not do?”

“Go to a security guard.”

“And why don’t we do that?”

“Because they don’t work for people like us.”

“Good job.” He patted the pom-poms topping their matching hats. 

Once Milo buckled the twins in and put his favorite rock album on, they set off. There was a light dusting of snow on top of the salt laid down earlier that morning, but the fifteen-year-old managed to weave through the holiday traffic and beat the lights in time to snag the last parking spot at Gotham City’s shopping hotspot. 

“Any idea what you’re gonna get your dad?” he asked as they walked into the bustling shopping mall. 

“How about a watch?” said Jackie. “I saw a really cool gold one last week.”

“Hm… maybe,” he said. “Gunner, what about you? Any thoughts?”

Gunner stifled a laugh. “Pants.”

Milo rolled his eyes playfully. The kid was in that phase where pants were the funniest thing in the world. But in the nine months since he started living with the Steelers, Milo hadn’t seen Rob get anything—buying or stealing—for himself. It was always for the kids or to sell on the internet. And, frankly, the man looked like he spent a year on a deserted island. 

“We’ll start with pants,” he said.

“What about you?” Jackie asked. “What are you gonna get him?”

“I’m not sure.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Probably something as a thanks for, you know, not leaving me to the wolves.”

“Like what?”

Gunner said, “How about a World’s Best Dad mug?”

“That might work for you, but he’s not my dad,” said Milo. He shrugged. “Eh, I’ll figure it out.” 

They perused a few clothing stores, the twins pointing out pieces of clothing their dad might like. Milo kept a mental inventory as he fiddled with the magnet in his coat pocket. He also made notes about where the cameras and security guards were placed. 

After about an hour, the kids were whining about being hungry (breakfast wasn’t exactly filling—they shared an egg and a slice of toast between them). Milo took them to the food court and used some cash he pickpocketed the other day to buy them both kids’ meals from the Batburger pop-up stall. 

Once they sat down, he said, “I’m gonna go get the gifts for your dad. Do you guys have your phone?”

Jackie and Gunner nodded and pulled out matching rose gold and black smartphones, respectively, that totally weren’t stolen and jailbroken. 

“Good. Stay here and don’t move. I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes. Call me if you need anything.”

Milo still had a thing or two to learn before he could begin swiping electronics and jewelry, but shoplifting clothing was easy. He grabbed a shopping bag from behind an unoccupied register and wove through the aisles for the list of things from earlier. He took them to the dressing room and removed the security tags with his trusty magnet before putting the clothes in the bag. Then, for good measure, he stuck them back onto random clothes throughout the store before walking out while using his phone like any other teenager. 

When he didn’t see the twins at the food court, there was a small spark of panic. He called Jackie and it rang three times before she answered. 

“We’re in the bathroom,” she said. 

He should’ve noticed the quiver in her voice. When he stepped into the all-gender restroom, he was met by the kids pressed against the wall with a haggard middle-aged man towering over them. 

Gunner cried out, “Milo!”

As the door fell shut, the stranger whirled around, pointing a sawed-off shotgun at Milo. “You with them?”

Stunned, Milo nodded numbly. He wasn’t sure if that was the right move or not. 

The man’s hands trembled. “Do as I say or I shoot.”

Milo reached for his batarang—the one he found on the street—inside his jacket, but before he could grab it, the man walked around him and prodded Milo in the back with the barrel. 

“I know you heard me. Now all three of you move it.” 

The bathroom was five steps from the exit, so there wasn’t any chance to make a getaway without putting Jackie and Gunner at risk. They were ushered roughly into a white van with the peeling logo of an electric company. A second person was in the driver’s seat so the guy with the gun got into the seatless back with them. He slammed the door shut. Milo motioned for the twins to get behind him. 

The driver turned the radio up as they made their way onto the road. 

Smart. Milo thought. Mask any calls for help. This obviously wasn’t the kidnappers’ first rodeo. 

But neither was it Milo’s. Being a runaway street kid, he had his fair share of close calls with bastard adults who tried to manipulate him because of his age. While he couldn’t call himself an expert, he had a general gist of how these situations went. 

Traveling at sixty miles per hour in a windowless van with no clue where they were headed, Milo didn’t have an upper hand. He needed information. Something was better than nothing. 

He studied the man with them, who had tucked the gun away. Even in the dark, he could see the man wasn’t doing well for himself. The worn-out clothes plus the crudeness of his weapon ruled out the mafia. What would Falcone or Maroni want with some random kids from Burnside, anyway? Milo could also rule out some of the major Rogues—Riddler, Two-Face, and Mr. Freeze all had standards. 

The man’s graying blonde hair and beard were both overgrown. His face was hollow and his breath smelled like spoiled leftovers. Clearly, he hadn’t taken care of himself in a long time. Mental break? But unless it was a case of folie a deux, there’s no way he could’ve gotten a second person to be his getaway driver. More likely than not, he was on his last legs and holding people for ransom was his Hail Mary. 

Milo also tried to analyze the man’s body language, but the low light and the moving van made it difficult. Kellin would’ve probably deduced everything with their assassin training by now. 

He glanced over his shoulder at Jackie and Gunner. Gunner always had more braggadocio, but underneath he got more scared easily, and Milo saw it in the way the kid clung to his sister’s arm with tears running down his cherubic face. Jackie appeared calmer, but her big brown eyes looked up at Milo, silently begging him to do something.

Milo took a deep breath and turned to their kidnapper. “You mind telling me what you want with us?”

“We don’t want anything from you,” the man replied. 

“Then what? You gonna sell us? Because we’re pretty unmarketable.” 

“No,” he said. “This isn’t about you. It’s about your father.”

“Axel Carr? Good luck with that. I’m as dead to him as he is to me.”

The man pointed to the twins. “I meant theirs.”

“How do you know their dad?” Milo asked slowly, careful not to let a name slip in case the man was bluffing. 

“I worked with Rob Steeler under Scarecrow. When he left, instead of getting promoted, they let our entire crew go since we lost our key player.”

The man was clearly getting started and Milo hoped he’d keep going until the boy could formulate a plan. 

“My whole life torpedoed after that. No gigs meant no income. No income plus a disabled kid meant I had to give up custody.”

While unfortunate, Milo was more focused on the clock and speedometer up front. Eight minutes had passed since they started driving and the speed had stayed consistent. The hum underneath the wheels told him they were still on the highway. 

“Without that money, I can’t get my kid back. So here’s what’s gonna happen.”

They came to a stop and there was the sound of a garage door opening and closing. Gun back in hand, the man prodded them out. 

“I’m gonna make Steeler pay,” he said. “He gives me cash for his little tikes. Otherwise, if I can’t have my family, then neither can he.” He turned to Milo and cocked the gun. “As for you, I’m afraid I can’t have any witnesses.”

“Wait!” Milo exclaimed before the man put his finger on the trigger. “Don’t you think killing me right away will cause a huge scene? You’ll end up with cops at the doorstep before you can even ask for the money.”

The driver muttered something to the gunman.

“True,” the gunman said.

The driver whispered something else. The gunman’s face lit up and he nodded. 

“Better idea,” he said. “I was going for around thirty grand. That’s ten grand for each of you. For each one he can bring me, I’ll let you go home.”

Jackie piped up. “What if he can’t?”

The man smiled. “For your sake, little girl, you better hope he does.” 

The gunman forced the three to surrender their phones while the driver bound them with rope to a water pipe against the wall. The windowless garage offered no clues to the outside, but the fishy smell in the air meant they were close to the harbor. It hadn’t been used in a long time because every step someone took left a footprint in the dust. Off to one side, underneath a mountain of scrap wood and netting, was a speedboat with a gaping hole in the hull. On the other side was a small, messy work table where the driver and gunman were making the ransom call. 

“Milo, what do we do?” Gunner whispered. 

“Just stay here and don’t move unless I tell you to,” he replied. “I’m gonna get us out of this.”

“What if you get hurt?” Jackie asked. 

He smiled. “Remember when I did a cartwheel with a twisted ankle? A little hurt doesn’t bother me.”

His arms were pinned to his side, but he managed to maneuver them enough to grab his magnet and batarang. Normally he would have had a trunk full of inventory to work with but this was going to have to do. 

While the kidnappers were on the call, he sliced himself out of the ropes with the batarang. He also loosened Jackie and Gunner’s restraints to prepare for a quick escape. 

The only exit was the garage door, controlled by a red button on the wall. If he was one of the bat-people, he could easily throw the batarang and hit the tiny target far away, but as just Milo, the risks far outweighed his chance of success. Normally he would have tried anyway, but he had the kids with him. 

He gestured to Gunner’s boots. “I need to borrow something real quick.”

The boy nodded. Milo undid the laces, resulting in two long strings in his hands. He tied them together to create a single, even longer cord, which he then put the batarang on one end of. 

The kidnappers turned toward them and the gunman shouted, “Hey!”

Milo muttered a prayer to Wonder Woman on the off chance that’s her thing. 

He twirled the string and released it. It wrapped around the driver’s knee, causing the man to stumble and fall. His joint cracking echoed through the garage and a red stain grew on his cargo pants. 

He reeled it in before throwing it at the gunman’s face. The tip grazed the man’s cheek, drawing a thin trickle of blood, before spinning back around into Milo’s hand. Milo threw a punch, but the man caught it. The gunman twisted before shoving Milo to the ground and pointing the shotgun at him. 

“Had fun playing Robin?” the man asked, finger nearing the trigger. 

Stall. That was all there was left to do. 

“Heroes are overrated. They always have to follow some stupid code,” Milo said, doing all he could to keep his voice steady. “You and I have more in common than you think.”

“Whatever deal you’re trying to cut won’t work,” the gunman replied. “Steeler’s already on his way and he accepted all my terms.” 

“What if I tell everyone what you did? Then what?”

The gunman laughed. “Tell who? The same cops you’re always running from? Don’t think I didn’t do my homework on your little posse.”

The driver was pretty much down for the count because he was still on the floor with the pool of blood slowly growing. Plus, he didn’t seem like the fighting type to begin with. Unless there were more kidnappers lurking, Milo just had to make sure the gunman stayed focused on him. 

“Your kid. How old are they?” Milo asked. 

“He’s ten, and unlike you, he’s actually suffering. He didn’t bring it on himself after a fight with daddy.” 

That plucked a nerve. For a disheveled ex-henchman, the man knew a lot. 

Milo clenched his jaw. “And what would he say if he knew about this? Even if you get the money, what makes you think he’d want anything to do with you?”

Smack. 

Milo fell back as the gun met his temple. His head throbbed and black speckles swam in front of his eyes. His fingers traced over the spot and came back red. Through the dull ringing in his right ear, he heard the twins cry out his name. 

He turned back to the gunman, still kneeling. “If you’d do this to us, what’s stopping you from doing it to him?”

This time, a kick to the stomach forced the wind out of him. He doubled over, gasping. He reached for the batarang but the gunman kicked it away. 

The man raised his gun for another strike but the garage door interrupted him. 

“Step away from the kids.”

The twins exclaimed, “Dad!”

Rob made brief but reassuring eye contact with them before turning to the kidnapper. 

“I got as much as I could, Frederickson. Now let go of my kids.” 

The kidnapper walked over and snatched the water-stained blue duffel bag out of Rob’s hand. He opened it and counted through the banded bills before turning back to Rob. 

“I said thirty grand. This is only twenty-five.”

“That's all I got, I’m telling you! Just take it and let my kids and I go home.” 

“We had a deal.”

While the two men went back and forth, Milo crawled over to the batarang. The open garage door meant the bright lights inside flooded the harbor with nothing blocking the way. The bright lightbulbs dangled from the ceiling. 

It was sheer luck the batarang flew over the adults’ heads and wrapped around the base of the brightest light bulb before dangling in front of it. It wasn’t very distinct, but his makeshift Bat-Signal would have to do. 

The man cocked the gun. “Now you gotta pick. It’s them…” He pointed it at the twins. “Or him.” He pointed at Milo.

What kind of choice is that? Milo thought. Of course pick them.

Rob stood there as if nailed to the spot, fists clenched. 

“Fredrickson, think about this,” he said, his normally firm voice edging on pleading. “Is five thousand dollars worth having this on your conscience?”

“You were always the soft one,” the man sneered. “You never let it on around the boss until our last sting.”

“There’s ransom and then there’s this,” Rob said. “Fredrickson. Darren. You’re not okay.” 

“Rob,” Milo said. 

The men’s heads both swiveled around. 

Milo swallowed. “Give him what he wants and he’ll be out of your hair. It’s obvious. Pick the twins.”

Rob sputtered, eyes wide. “I-I…” 

“You trust me on the field all the time,” he said. “So do it again.”

“I can’t.”

The gunman said, “So the little ones go.”

“No!” Rob yelled. “I just—I just need…”

“Take. Your. Pick.” 

His eyes darted between Milo and the twins. Milo knew his boss was an idiot at times and the proof was right here. The twins were younger. There were two of them as opposed to one of him. They were actually Rob’s. 

Before the gunman could repeat himself again, a brand new voice chimed in. 

“I’ve seen this trope before. Spoiler alert: the good guys win.”

With a swish of her purple cape, Spoiler released her grapple and knocked the shotgun away. She coiled the rope around the gunman before kneeing him in the ribs. Milo didn’t think much of heroes given how they beat up people like him and Rob, but he couldn’t help but marvel at each fluid strike. As easy as one, two, three, four, and five. 

The gunman hit the ground and she clasped a pair of handcuffs on him. Nearby, Orphan collected the driver. 

Spoiler crouched beside the twins and freed them. “Are you guys alright?”

They nodded. Gunner said, “Is the supervillain defeated?”

“I’d hardly call him super, but yes,” she said. “He’s not gonna bother you anymore.” 

As red and blue lights flooded the room, Milo’s head pulsed even harder like a kick drum at a rock show. Some of the blood from his temple dripped onto the floor. His stomach rolled. 

Rob answered some of Spoiler’s questions before she set them loose. Of course cops would be at the scene. Why didn’t Milo think of that?

The twins ran into their dad’s arms and he scooped them up. Milo had never seen his boss so relieved or so scared. He staggered to his feet, one hand in the brick wall for balance. His head spun and a sharp pain was finally sinking in. 

Rob put the kids down and turned toward Milo. 

“I’m sorry,” Milo said. “It’s my fault we got into this mess and—”

He was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around him. 

“Rob, what—”

“Just shut up and take it.” 

The hug ended before Milo could fully register it. After one of the medics patched his wound, all they had left to do was go home and pretend this never happened. Business as usual. 

“The car’s still at the mall,” he said. 

“I borrowed one from Otto,” Rob replied. “I’ll get ours in the morning.”

Once they were back at the apartment, Rob tucked the twins into bed with an extra-long story. Meanwhile, Milo cleaned himself up in the cubicle-sized bathroom and changed into something more comfortable. 

He tried to sleep after that but wound up tossing and turning for hours, replaying the night’s events in his head. What if he hadn’t left the twins alone? What if he’d brought a better weapon? The Steelers were already hanging by a thread and he just cost them twenty-five grand. If one of the others was in his position, they could’ve figured a way out by themselves. Blaise would’ve siphoned the gas from the van and turned it into a flamethrower. Booker and Molly would’ve been better negotiators. Kellin would’ve fought their way through.

The door opened. The thin bar of light cut between his side of the room and the sleeping twins’ bunk bed. 

“It’s two o’clock,” Rob said. 

Milo propped himself up on his elbow. “And?”

“I could hear you down the hall. You’re gonna wake the twins up at this rate.”

“Not on the clock, not my boss.”

Rob quietly chuckled. “Get some sleep. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

[laurelnose]

i saw an essay when Book of Hours came out that said the Librarian was different from the Cultist because the Cultist has no friends and is just holed up somewhere pursuing higher mysteries while using people as ritual parts, while the Librarian is a member of the community at Brancrug. (It was hilarious how fast BoH swung the fandom consensus on the Cultist from “they’re pretty competent” to “oh the Cultist is a fucking idiot,” lmfao.) anyways uhh they’re right but since House of Light came out I have realized that I like playing BoH exactly the same way I play CS, which is to say I hole up in my big weird house for days on end shuffling my card decks and forgetting other people exist, only to be unpleasantly surprised when the season changes and someone shows up at my door. community what community. The Deep Mysteries need to be shelved.

[very mild, largely mechanical House of Light spoilers to follow]

salons are pretty fun once you’ve got enough resources to not feel squeezed about them though. They take a lot of prep and you have to time your invitations correctly so that your visitors arrive while you’re still flush with soul, but I do enjoy the conversation with the guests. and it does feel nice to be able to write to visitors, even if I’m not doing it very often. like the Librarian really is connected to the outside world and not just hopelessly unmoored from other people at Hush House, at the mercy of whoever randomly bothers to make the trek out to Brancrug. I’m still spending most of my money on Unusual Help and haven’t been able to budget much for dishes but I’m almost done unlocking the House and will soon be able to buy much more food. I like that lessons are now functionally infinite and I don’t have to worry about trying to get the timing right for Numa lessons anymore. I’ve not done a lot of incident follow-up (Spencer is coming next Numa and he will be my first) but I think I shall have to prioritize doing more of them. And I shall have to find out if my Numa incident can be followed up on too, once it concludes.

[“how have you been playing for a week and still haven’t concluded any incidents” I am BEING ANTISOCIAL, as previously established.]

i am so sad that Numa visitors don’t leave calling cards. I understand why but the only thing I really wanted from the visitors update was the ability to make Julian Coseley show up whenever I want. 😭 Can you host a salon during Numa if you are careful with your invitation timing?? I will have to check if the Numa guests have food preference aspects.

two final things. 1) please let me buy eggs oh my god. eggs require three soul cards (collect vegetable sack. feed chicken. collect egg from chicken) which considering that the going rate for a soul card at the Sweet Bones is 12p and that you can’t multitask with beasts e.g. feeding Tuppence while collecting from Terrence, makes eggs one of THEE most complicated and expensive ingredients to obtain. It’s more straightforward to collect from the gulls but considering the pull rate is 33% eggs, that’s still basically three soul cards per egg, this time with aspect constraints! I will pay fucking spintriae for eggs, just let me use currencyyyyy. 2) the fucking shelving system is still giving me fits, I think it’s been improved somewhat for the books (I didn’t play the Daymare update so IDK if it was that or HoL) but where the hell am I supposed to put ANYTHING else. When I order all the ingredients I need for cooking, where do they go, the fucking bridge? Gross! Immersion-breaking! I need more pantry space.

(I unfortunately have limited patience for the shelf thing. The most concrete manifestation of my COVID trauma is I can’t STAND irregularly shaped shelves anymore. Circulation dropped by >70% during lockdown and took years to recover. Public library collections are sized with the expectation that a certain percentage of the collection will live with patrons; we were not and still aren’t equipped to house our entire collection in-house. I spent a year of my life jury-rigging shelves to get things to fit. The bane of my existence became shelves so specifically designed for a certain type of media that they couldn’t be extended or repurposed for other things. Having to constantly shuffle books around between ~aesthetic~ little nooks isn’t cute or cozy, it’s just bad fucking library design. When the shelving mechanic on BoH works it’s a thing of beauty but there are simply NOT ENOUGH SHELVES. I just want to fit my reasonably-sized collection on one screen. Also the scrolls should stack on top of each other. Catch my Librarian spending their stipend on ripping out the entire Westcott Room and redoing it for space efficiency)

[matttgirlies]

Matt & Me🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - none

y/nn = your nickname for any confusion🩷

Chapter 19

Matt and I often talked of having children, but we certainly weren’t planning on having them right away. Then one day we were at the ranch. It was early afternoon and Matt was still asleep. I lay in bed and felt a strange sensation in my stomach, a sensation I’d never felt before. I lay staring at the ceiling. No—it couldn’t be. Again, the same feeling. I slid out of bed. I’ll call Patsy, I thought. She’d know. I went to the phone in the next room.

“Patsy, when you found out you were pregnant, did you feel strange?”

“Strange like what?”

“You know. I mean, what did you feel?”

“Well, I missed my period.”

“But didn’t you feel something in your body, something strange?”

“I really don’t remember, y/n. Why?”

“Because I think I’m pregnant. I know I am. I’ve never felt this before.”

“Maybe it’s nerves.”

“No—I just have a funny feeling. I’ll talk to you later.”

I didn’t tell Matt right away: I couldn’t. But he saw that I was quiet and preoccupied.

If I were pregnant, I knew that our plans to travel would have to be postponed. I wouldn’t be able to head off to some exotic locale and leave my child with nurses and maids. For the first year, I truly wanted to be alone with Matt, without any responsibilities or obligations.

For a few days I was angry with Matt. Before the wedding I asked him if I should start taking birth-control pills, but he had been adamantly against it.

“They’re not good for you. I really don’t want you taking them. They’re not perfected yet, Baby. There’s all kinds of side effects.”

A week passed before I told Matt my suspicions. I expected him to react with the same mixed emotions I’d felt, but he was ecstatic. He made arrangements for me to see a doctor right away, accompanied me to the doctor’s office, and sat anxiously in the waiting room while I was examined.

When I came out I put my arms around him and said, “Guess what?”

“What? What?” He was barely able to contain himself.

“You’re going to be a dad.”

He couldn’t believe it and immediately wanted to tell everyone. Just then his father, who had driven over with us, came into the room. Matt grabbed him.

“Dad, you won’t believe this. y/nn’s gonna have a baby. You’re gonna be a grandad.”

“Good Lord Almighty,” James said, stunned. “You’re kiddin’ me.”

“No, Dad. We’re telling you the truth.” Then Matt teased him, saying, “You’re going to be a gray-headed granddaddy.”

I loved seeing Matt happy, but I was still uncertain about how my unexpected pregnancy would affect our marriage. This was supposed to have been our time alone. I wanted to be beautiful for him; instead, my debut as Matt’s bride was going to be spoiled by a fat stomach, puffy face, and swollen feet.

As far as I was concerned, the less people mentioned about my looking pregnant, the better. I intended to prove that a pregnant woman did not have to get fat. I wanted to refute Matt’s claim that “women use the excuse of their pregnancy to let themselves go.” Although the doctor said that a twenty five-pound gain would be fine, I immediately dropped from my normal one hundred ten pounds to one hundred. During the next four months, I regained just five pounds, and only nine more by the time of delivery. Eating one meal a day and snacking on apples and hardboiled eggs, I prided myself on never needing to buy a maternity outfit. My doctor advised that in addition to taking multiple vitamins I should consume plenty of dairy products. Being vain, I amended my doctor’s instructions and lessened my intake of dairy products. I did not want to gain weight and get stretch marks. As a further precaution I resolved to slather myself with cocoa butter for the next eight months.

A few days after I learned I was pregnant, we left Boston for L.A., where Matt was to begin preproduction on a new film, Speedway. It was to be the last drive in our customized bus before it was sold. During the trip, Matt and the guys had a ball, punching each other and playing practical jokes. I played photographer, clicking away at everyone. But when I kept smiling and laughing I still felt very ambivalent about my pregnancy. I wanted a baby, just not so soon.

Matt was extremely sensitive to my moods. He missed his little girl’s “twinkling eyes,” her “bright, smiling face.” Finally, in Flagstaff, Arizona, at a small roadside inn, he sat me down and said, “What do you want to do, Little One?”

I broke down and answered, “I don’t know. What can I do?”

“What do you think?” he said. “I’ll back you up whatever you want to do.”

Instantly I knew what he was talking about. He was leaving the decision up to me. “It’s our baby,” I said, sobbing. “I could never live with myself, neither could you.”

There were no words, only his smile of approval; he held me tightly in his arms as I cried. The two of us, bound by love, accepted our new little creation wholeheartedly.

When I first felt my baby move I suddenly understood the full joy of carrying our child. My smile returned when Matt delicately placed his hand on my slightly swollen stomach and said, “How can such a little person carry another little person?” The pregnancy was bringing us closer. He would call me from the studio every day, just to say hello and make sure I was fine. It was because of the baby that we decided to buy our first home in Los Angeles instead of leasing as we’d done in the past. While he was filming I searched the Beverly Hills-Bel Air area for a place that would suit us.

Later that fall, when we were in Arizona for location filming on “Stay Away, Joe”, I saw an advertisement in Variety for a house that sounded perfect: a beautiful home in Trousdale Estates, completely furnished, three bedrooms, a guest cottage, pool, and good security.

I flew back to L.A. The house was owned by a prominent landowner who was recently divorced. With a built-in bar, antique furnishings, and collectors’ art, it was a far cry from Rocca Place, where each room was decorated to each employee’s specification—a different carpet, a different color, a different style in each room. Unfortunately, I’d tried to satisfy everyone’s taste, and architectural indigestion was the result. This time I would be able to live with everything the way I liked.

As soon as Matt returned from Arizona we moved into our new home and began preparing a room for our baby. All I could think about was how happy I was, how wonderful life was.

Naturally, I got a lot of advice about what I should and shouldn’t do while I was pregnant. Steeped in her Southern superstitions, Grandma was especially solicitous, telling me I couldn’t brush my hair over my head or else I would wrap the umbilical cord around the baby. She also said I shouldn’t stand on my feet too long or my legs would swell and I wouldn’t be able to walk again. She was as concerned as any doting mother and some of my activities gave her reason to worry. I still kept up with my ballet, rode my motorcycle and my horse Domino, right up until the eighth month of pregnancy. Matt thought I was absolutely incredible to keep up with him in every way. That made me happy. I was pleasing him and still by his side every day.

Then I began hearing rumors about Matt and Madison Beer, the same rumors that I had read about in Germany: that she had a passionate crush on him, that they were having an affair. I was extremely sensitive and quick to cry. Matt assured me that I was just being oversensitive because of my condition. I agreed. Six months into my pregnancy Madison called and said she’d like to give me a baby shower. I didn’t know her that well and thought it a little strange that she was so accommodating. But Matt assured me that she was very nice and that I should get to know her. It was agreed that I would go to the shower under one condition, which Colonel suggested: All the pictures that were taken that day were to be handed over to me. That way, there’d be no shots popping up in the national movie magazines. It turned out quite nicely. Madison was very friendly and very supportive. I found that I liked her and I decided to ignore the rumors.

Life takes such surprising turns. Just when you’re getting confident, along comes the unexpected. I was upstairs at Graceland when Matt called me to his office, the one adjoining my dressing room. “y/nn, I have to have time to think. Things just aren’t going right. It’ll be good for the two of us to take a little time off, like a trial separation. Be apart from one another for a while.”

I wanted to die. I was seven months along and could not believe what I was hearing. It had to be a joke. “What are you saying? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, Baby. You don’t understand. It’s not you. It’s just that I’m going through some things. I think it’d be better if we took a little break.”

I looked at him in silence, feeling a new strength. If he excluded me at this time, then he didn’t deserve me at all. I stood up and said, “You’ve got it. Just tell me when to leave.” I went into my dressing room and closed the door.

I was numb. This was not the man I knew. I instinctively withdrew, my affection numbed, my thoughts suspicious, my heart aching.

I don’t think Matt really intended to leave me. It wasn’t his style. I later realized he too had questions about how a baby would affect his life. Would his public accept him as a father? He wasn’t even sure if his fans had adapted to his becoming a husband. How loyal would they be?

Within a short time Matt’s sensitive nature brought him back to his senses. Two days had passed. The idea of a trial separation was never mentioned again. We both acted as if nothing had been said. It was at times like this that I wished Matt and I had the ability to truly communicate with each other, to confront our insecurities, fears, and frustrations instead of pretending these feelings weren’t there. We probably would have been surprised at how much understanding we both really had. I could not escape the impact his words had on me, leaving me with a sense of doubt.

As my pregnancy progressed, we still played hard. I wanted to be included in everything that everyone else did. That Christmas we went to the ranch and rode horses, had snowball fights and went on hayrides. Matt would sit up front in the wagon and call out to me, “How you doing, y/nn? That’s my girl. How’s she doing back there?”

I’d call back, “She’s doing pretty good. I’m okay.”

If we’d go horseback riding, he’d always ask me, “Are you sure you can do this? Did the doctor say you could?”

“Yes,” I’d answer. “I can do it.”

I was determined not to ask for special treatment.

It was only in the last month or so that I slowed down at all. Instead of sitting through two or three films a night, Matt would take me home after just one.

He arranged his schedule so that he could be home with me at Graceland during the final month. To be absolutely prepared for the big day, we even performed practice drills for the trip to Baptist Memorial Hospital. As my time drew near, Matt became more and more nervous.

On February 1, 1968, I awoke about eight o’clock and found the bed beneath me soaking wet. Frightened, I called my mother in New Jersey and she suggested I ring the doctor immediately. He told me to head straight for the hospital. I gently woke Matt up and told him the big day had arrived. Matt groggily asked me if I was sure. When I said yes, he called James and told him to notify everyone, then yelled downstairs, “She’s ready! y/nn is going to have the baby!”

Ignoring his frenzy, I disappeared calmly into the bathroom and applied my ever-so-black mascara and teased my ever-so-black hair. Later at the hospital I requested special permission to keep on my double set of lashes.

Downstairs there was pandemonium. As planned, the decoy cars raced off first, Steven and Nate frantically waving for the fans to follow them. Then we took off, but despite the rehearsals we headed straight for the wrong hospital. We had changed hospitals, but obviously Jerry, who was driving, hadn’t been informed. Charlie Hodge saved the day, convincing Jerry it was Baptist Memorial, not Methodist. Luckily we arrived in time.

Our daughter, Charlotte Grace, was born at 5:01 that afternoon. The nurse brought her into my room and I cradled her in my arms. I couldn’t believe she was mine, that I had borne this child. She was so tiny, so beautiful. Matt came into the room and kissed me, thrilled that we had a perfectly normal, healthy baby. He was already in love with her. He watched me holding her and his eyes misted with happiness. Then he took us both in his arms and held us.

“Baby,” he whispered, “We have a little baby girl.”

“I know,” I whispered back.

I asked if he wanted to hold her. He looked petrified at first, but then he started to touch her. He played with her hands, her feet. He was in awe, saying, “I can’t believe that I made part of this beautiful child.” Matt knew that I had wanted the baby to have dark hair like his, and Charlotte had been born with lots of silky black hair. “She’s so perfect,” he said, “even the color of her hair is right.”

We stayed in each other’s arms for a long time, caressing our infant and each other, a young couple sharing the first pleasures of parenthood.

The man in my hospital room that day was the man I loved, and will always love. He didn’t have to try to be strong and decisive or sexy, he wasn’t afraid to show his warmth or vulnerability. He didn’t have to act the part of Matt Sturniolo, superstar. He was just a man, my husband.

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd. This material may be protected by copyright.

a/n - this is the cutest chapter ill write i swear its so so cute🎀

[hanquokkasgirl]

Will we last?

Chapter 1

Moving day, there's nothing more... *sigh* STRESSFUL THAN THIS. Jesus fucking christ why do I have to be such a procrastinator on everything? Good thing my roommate is not, and has helped me a bit... okay, more than a bit. Okay okay, a lot.

Standing in my room looking at the pile of clothes that I'm supposed to fit into one suitcase, it just seems impossible. Absolutely impossible.

"Clarissa, can you come over and help me? Please?" I know I will owe big time... like big big time.

"Okay y/n but you know I'm packing the last of your mugs that you need to send through the mail. You remembered that right? You have a place to live once you get to Seoul?" Clarissa knew me really well. We've been friends since kindergarten, and haven't separated until now. She was like the sister I never had.

"Of course I do! I'm not that stupid" I scuffed and she gave me the look. "Okay, yes, I am but I do have a place because the company set it up" Clarissa just kept grabbing the clothes I handed her, folding them and putting them in a bag. "What's that bag for?"

She just stood up once the bag was full, grabbed the vaccuum, and started vaccuuming the bag. I just let out an oooh and kept going with packing.

"Well, you have 5 hours before you have to be at the airport, and you're all packed up. Lunch?" She said grabbing her keys.

"OOH, I could really eat some chinese right now" I screamed on the other side of the apartment as I jumped on top of the suitcase to close it. Then I heard the key jingle and the door close. "Ahh, that'll do it." I said once I closed my suitcase.

Moving to South Korea was not my first option but the job offer of working as a stylist AND make up artist, my major and minor in college, straight out of college was too incredible to pass. The company was paying for my housing and transportation, I already knew some of the language because my mother is Korean, and she always wanted me to have at least two languages. But I am so going to miss this place, my friends, family, this city. So many memories, but Clarissa was the one that told me to move on, I am going to miss her the most. I left all my crap by the door for whenever the guy from FedEx is supposed to pick it up. My room looks so empty... and I hear a meow right next to me, where MooMoo was sitting next to me. I crouched down to get to his level and pet him.

"I know little bud, I'm going to miss you too. I promise I'll visit you though" He intertwined with my legs and purred against me. We adopted him when we moved to this place, 3 years ago.

After 20 minutes, Clarissa came back with the food. "I just got your usual. Fried rice with Orange and Honey Sesame chicken and some veggie egg rolls."

"You're the best, you know that"

"Oh, I know" We chuckled and sat down in the living room to eat. MooMoo joined too, of course eating his own food.

"Okay, time to go!" Clarissa made sure to go through the checklist in the car, after the FedEx guys picked up my boxes and sent them to Seoul. I got in the passenger seat and put on the seatbelt. I insisted on driving but well... she's more stuborn than I am.

"Are you sure you're okay driving? I mean, we are in New York City and you just got your license two weeks ago." I said looking at her trying to push the key into the ignition button. I am doomed. This is it. This is my death.

"Of course I'm sure! This is easy peasy" I pushed the button while she motioned with her hands. She got a bit startled and then chuckled. I fasten my seatbelt yet again... if that was possible, grabbed the handle, and prayed to whatever god was listening that we made it safely.

Because we live in New York we never drive really, but her parents insisted in buying her a car to visit them in Atlanta. Although, with a hectic schedule from college and chasing two majors, I know show off, we almost never visited. They were the ones that came here more often. Since she was a year older than me *she got held back in preschool* she already had a stable job in the city. And I was the one moving away for a better future.

"We're all gonna die" I whispered so she couldn't hear me and get nervous to drive us. She put the car on Drive and we got going... AT 10 MILES AN HOUR. I let go of the handle and relax a little bit.

"Hey, honey...uhm, y'know I love ya right?" She nods. "Well, you are the best and everything but... CAN YOU DRIVE FASTER SINCE I HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN AN HOUR?!" I said and she jumped and pressed the gas. Uh-oh, did I go to far? Maybe I did.

"We're here! Huh? and with 15 extra minutes... you're welcome." I was white-knuckles grabbing my seatbelt. It was a miracle that the cops didnt stop us. I got off and my legs crumbled. "Pfft... baby... that was nothing."

"You went from one extreme to another... while I'm gone find your medium... please I'm begging you." I said composing myselg and grabbing my bookbag.

"I'll try. Ok then... Passport?"

"Check!"

"Boarding Pass?"

I take out my phone. "Check!"

"Chargers?"

"Check!"

"Medicines?"

"Uhmm..." I touched the small pocket of my bookbag. "Check!"

"Don't scare me here kid. Papers?"

"Issa, I have everything. Thanks to you. It's time to go. Give lots of kisses to MooMoo from me okay?" I said hugging her even though I know she hates it. She only allows it on special occassions.

"Ugh I don't want to say goodbye" She said... but not tearing up, she never cries. Never cries in front of people because between us she can be waterworks.

"You know I'll come visit. It's just a see ya... okay, love ya" I said grabbing my bags and entering the airports.

We decided to not be cheesy and say goodbye inside the airport so she just dropped me off and goes her way. As I line up for security check up, she calls me. "Yeah?"

"I'mgonnamissyousomuchwhydoyouhavetoleavemecomebackalready!!" See? Waterworks.

"I'll miss you too honey. I'll see ya in 3 months okay?" I said trying to console her.

"Mhmm... kay. MooMoo wont stop crying for you though."

"I know. It's my turn now. I love ya. I'll text ya my new number as soon as I land" I hang up so she concentrates on driving.

Once I cross that metal detector and find my gate, they were boarding already. I check my ticket. I never thought of checking where I was sitting before but oh well... there's a first for everything. I take my phone out of my pocket and... FIRST CLASS? Wow this company must be rich. I go up since first class is boarding... and I do get a couple of looks but they never bother me. They scan my ticket. "Welcome aboard Ms. Hart." The flight attendant smiled at me.

I walk to my seat and see how beautiful everything is. Another flight attendant comes up to me. "Welcome aboard, would you like a complimentary glass of champagne? And see our dinner options?"

"Sure! Thanks" I smile and she walks off. What a service. I can get used to this... maybe. They bring over a glass of champange and I look out the window from my solo seat.

New me... here I come.

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 6🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 6 "Party Politics"

Timestamp: 1:41:19

Video Length: 4min. & 56sec.

Riz's Pass-Fail theory gets debunked + Ragh reminding everyone about dinner with his mom + Fig saying she might not wanna be a bard anymore

Riz: "I also think we have to be really careful going forward, because Kipperlilly's team is trying to get us kicked out of school or get us to flunk. I think we need to find out what happened to Lucy Frostblade, if Lucy actually died. But I do know that you switch to pass-fail if somebody from your team dies."

Kristen: "Right, did they need to switch to pass-fail?"

Riz: "But if Kipperlilly were to-"

Adaine: "But it's only for the year, right?"

Riz: "-become class president, maybe she could change that rule. Maybe they just need good grades to get into whatever school that they're trying to get into."

Kristen: "Why does she want to be president? Yeah."

Riz: "That would be, that's why they need-"

Emily: "But, Ivy didn't act like...I mean, yes, it's possible that she saw, but she would have to be able to... It's not like I rolled a bad Deception."

Riz: "Either way, even if Lucy left the party, if your party is incomplete, you switch to pass-fail. So if any of them can't afford to go to school or something, they can't get scholarships now."

Brennan asks Riz for a history or investigation check and he gets a 28! 😁

Brennan: "As you're speaking, you remember that slip in the yearbook and you know that yearbooks come in time for graduation. But you suddenly remember that there's usually about a week or two weeks in between when your final exams are."

Murph: "Right."

Brennan: "And there's no more things that affect your grade after that. Having done all that research beforehand, the majority of the pie chart of when Lucy could've 'disappeared' that they wouldn't have been able to include it in the yearbook is actually in a period of time where there wouldn't have been grading. It would've been after finals."

Murph: "So if you start a new year, you can have a different adventuring party?"

Brennan: "Yes, basically you can't swap in ringers in the middle of your school year."

Lou: "But it makes sense that they would want to bring in a ringer like our not bad baby, Buddy, who is the backup team chosen one of Helio. They see a chance to bring him in, you kill Lucy."

Emily: "'Cause Lucy Frostblade, I'm almost like, was she not healing-focused enough?"

Brennan: "It's not listed in the yearbook, but finding out what domain she was associated with-"

Emily: "Me, I'm thinking war domain when I hear Frostblade."

Siobhan: "Right, and if he's Helio, he's a light domain cleric. Right?"

Lou: "We shouldn't be prejudiced like that."

Brennan: "Yolanda would've taught Lucy, so your cleric teacher-"

Ally: "Okay, great."

Brennan: "Your cleric teacher would've taught Lucy."

The bad kids have their egg slurry! 😭😭💀💀

Brennan: "And then Ragh wanders out, and you can see that he's scraping butter and sweat off his body that's been there all night."

Ragh: "Um."

Gorgug: "Were you supposed to take a shower a while ago?"

Ragh: "I did." 😭😭😭

Gorgug: "Really?" 😭💀

Adaine: "Wow, did you use soap?"

Ragh: *rolls eyes* "****!" *turns around*

Fabian: "Which shower did you use?" 😭😭😭

Brennan: "He[Ragh] turns around. 20 minutes later, he comes back out" 😭

Ragh: "Mom's making lunch."

Everyone remembers 😂🤣💀

Riz: "Okay, yeah, we're gonna go have lunch with your mom. Let's go do it."

Kristen: "Before we go, does anyone else have any big 💩 weighing on their hearts and minds?"

Fig: "Um, I think I don't wanna be a bard anymore."

Kristen: "Really?"

Fig: "I went to warlock class, and it just clicked."

Kristen: "Dang, okay."

Fig: "It clicked."

Fabian & Riz: "That's cool."

Adaine: "For warlock class, did you have to buy like 10 barrels of diamonds?"

Fig: "No, we just talked about the power of relationships, and I just feel like that's my 💩."

Adaine: "That's so interesting to me."

Zac: "But we now are locked in our classes, right?"

Brennan: "It's already been the first week of classes, yeah."

Zac: "This sucks."

Brennan: "But! There are offices. The vice principal's office is there. If you guys wanted to switch classes mid-year or do other stuff, you can submit that. It was due on the 1st of the year, but you've seen there's a lot of loopholes and interesting things. Arthur Aguefort, over hundreds of years of running this school, has said a lot of contradictory stuff, and one of his rules is that anything he verbally said became school canon."

Emily: "So we can pick and choose quotes of his."

Brennan: "Yeah, exactly, so there's a lot of wiggle room if you wanna switch a class, right?"

Riz: "Maybe if Kristen becomes school president, maybe we make some of this stuff a little simpler. I feel like we've been doing a lot of stuff, some practical application of our classes, and I feel like we haven't gotten credit for like half the stuff we're doing. We're having to destroy ourselves to pass these classes."

Gorgug: "This is a good platform."

Kristen: "Okay, yeah, right."

Riz: "And this works for everybody."

Kristen: "Can you write a little speech about this?"

Riz: "Of course."

Adaine: "World saving should count more than rat *******."

Kristen: "That is perfectly put."

Brennan: "You head to Mordred Manor. As you do so-"

The dome turns REALLY BRIGHT! 😂😂💀💀 Big color change! 😂🤣💀

Ally: "OMG!"

Brennan: "It's so bright!"

The amazing caption team: "(Zac croaking)"

Ally: "I'm wearing two pairs of sunglasses."

Murph: "Yeah, Riz is also wearing sunglasses."

Adaine tries to cast "Dispel Magic" at the sun! 😭😭✋✋

Brennan and Ally's laughter! 😂😂 Dispel Magic at the sun was funny fr! 😂🤣💀

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

Hii, I saw your f1 request post and I would like to ask if you could write some James x Niki when they were sharing a flat? Maybe James was bringing home so many girls and Niki was like hey I want a piece of that (James) too

☆ MY LOVE MINE ALL MINE (part 1) — niki lauda x james hunt

tags: teasing, jealous!niki

note: this is short but I had a lot of fun writing it

masterlist

✧༺ ☆ ༻∞　　∞༺ ☆ ༻✧

Niki was so tired of that continuous bustle of girls in their flat. He knew that living with James would’ve been tricky, but the fun they had in those little moments off track, when they shared a few jokes and a laugh, led him to the decision that after all it wasn’t such a bad idea. James was all in all a good flatmate: generally clean and he almost never cooked for himself (sometimes Niki would make dinner for both of them). Maybe a little too loud at times, but nothing he couldn’t bear. They even found themselves often talking about races and cars and watching Formula 1 together. Basically the only real issue were the girls, and Niki wondered if James interpreted his discomfort as jealousy towards him. It was on the contrary towards them.

Niki knew without any doubt he wasn’t quite a ladies’ man, if not for his not so good looking appearance, for his asocial and at times grumpy attitude. And the strong german accent certainly wasn’t of any help. Besides, he was focused on his job now more than ever. Though he sometimes caught himself thinking about a relationship, he never actually looked for it. Far more were the times he caught himself thinking about James.

One night Niki came back home late. He changed in more comfortable clothes and decided to make some scrambled eggs with berries jam, one of his favourite dishes. The noise of an opening door caught his attention. James and two beautiful girls headed talking and laughing out of his room. They inevitably looked in Niki’s direction. He understood they were about to leave and that James was walking them to the door.

“Good night.” He said with a shy smile. The girls waved back at him and then quickly disappeared in the hallway, the door closed behind them.

“Is everything alright?” Niki asked to his roommate, stirring the eggs on the pan with a spoon.

James walked in the kitchen and leaned on the countertop. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“They usually leave in the morning. I was ready to make breakfast for everyone tomorrow.” The statement was sarcastic, but he actually made breakfast for the guests all the times.

“I wasn’t really in the mood.”

“Oh, that’s a news.”

James looked amused. “For real. I just thought we could watch the race together tonight.”

Niki was flabbergasted. Weird. James Hunt giving up on sex just to spend time with him? “I repeat: are you sure you’re okay?”

“What? You wished to have a piece of that too?”

“I don’t think they would’ve welcomed the suggestion.”

“I wasn’t talking about them.”

Niki froze.

What in the actual fuck. He couldn’t believe he just said that. How was he supposed to answer that? What was James even thinking? Was he trying to build a castle of false hopes and erotic dreams in his already overthinking mind? Mein Gott, he hated when he did that.

He turned towards him, praying the redness on his cheeks wasn’t so evident to the eye. “Are you drunk?”

James’ lips curved in a smirk. “I’m not. Your eggs are burning by the way.”

Niki went instantly back to the pan, muttering curse words in german.

Laughing, James walked out of the kitchen. “I’ll buy popcorns and some ice cream to eat on the sofa. You try not to set the building on fire.” And just like that he left the apartment.

Well, that was definitely one of the most embarrassing episodes of his life.

[lemm-moxx]

Silly things abt my utmv oc's

(i don't have a specific name for this thing as the "T.U.A" is more a vehicle to interact with the wider multiverse in the story and all of the characters are picked from my other au's so likkeee)

But mainly a kinda(?) in universe analysis of random aspects of these two as i hate just explaining things upfront. WARNING theres a lot

The preceding 2 excerpts are sourced from scattered papers and tapes found in universes generally surrounding the institute (including #11567 #11542 #00145 #10001 and #23479 ) The texts overall are disjointed and nonsensical. creator unknown. [[Ask M.E dept for more info to amend case file.]] 1) He's one of the best men money can provide! He takes orders with out question or thought. Work oriented, highly professional and determined- Really he's what everyone should aim to be in this field. He's worked at the company for 15 years so naturally he's at the top.

Oh ok! I mean that's a good start i suppose, What else is there?

What else.. ? I mean what else is there to say-he's successful. That's it. That's all you need really. Well surely- What about hobbies? Free time? People aren't just their profession. Ok, but why does he need a hobby? He barely has enough free time as it is. And that's wasted sleeping and eating. Well i mean, it fleshes out the character for one? He does nothing when he gets home from work. Not even watch TV? No? Nothing, you mean like actually nothing. Yeah.....? i don't-is there something wrong with that? No- no it- I'm not insulting your writing or anything. It just seems a bit bland.... If I'm honest. 2)

[[TAPE BEGINS]]

I lived in a nervous place, at an anxious town- so it didn't come as a surprise when they all started avoiding me after my brother died. His death was an accident- I mean who leaves a small kid to babysit a toddler? Really, really if your asking me the townspeople killed him. Not me. I just feel like you need to understand why i did it y'know? Anyway I grew up alone. A house on the outskirts of town, they never warmed up to me in the end. I would work in the library day to day, for the money. Nobody came in anyway and because we also sold books i actually had a paycheck. Buy myself food and go home. Rinse and repeated until all stains are washed away. Though, i guess in my case. Some stains are too tough to be washed out. I had heard about human falling down, i was a skeptic of course. It was the smell of dust that scared me at first, every time i walked into town it was there. Nobody ever seemed to need a funeral, that was the confusing part. Maybe a couple monsters went missing day to day, but they were back without a scratch after a while. I put it as something probably explainable. That was until i died- I mean i don't know if i actually died but.. When the human finally found me they seemed, exited. They looked at me like they had found buried treasure, unveiled some kind of hidden secret. And, and I was exited too if I'm honest. Though you wouldn't be able to tell-i was as horrible as i was to anyone on the surface. But he second they stabbed me in my chest. All my sympathies were gone. And, and when i woke up in my bed. Like puzzle pieces. it all clicked y'know? I wasn't strong so i needed some kind of external force, i did it though in the end. I wasn't soppy or friendly like the rest of them, so it was easy. I ruined my clothes but some eggs need to be broken -or whatever they say. When i strutted into town i thought i was a hero. But of course they were ungrateful; couldn't even thank me, i was chased out .And that's when your head archivist found me-and uh that's at. And I appreciate the job offer, really i do! I mean i didn't realise you were lacking in employees from the look of the place, then again i guess the library was the most organised place in Snowdin and I was the only there. I just uh- i need to be in a quiet place for a bit, maybe not here- I just need to think it over really" "That's fine, i'm sure you've had a nasty scare. and there's a lot you need to understand quite fast considering your position. I'll drop you off in one of those timelines for out codes! Yes, yes someone will explain it there" "I'm sorry timeline-" "A month? How's that-is that too much? i apologise if I'm inept. I'm not very good with time these days. Maybe not a whole number, that seems too equal; 2 weeks? How's that. We are desperate for employees for the archive so i would appreciate it if you could come back sooner." "Oh well i uh-Sure, sure! ill take a look through everything on the leaflet you gave me in the mean time." "Oh wonderful! I hope to see you again in the future- hopefully as an employee ha-ha!"

[[TAPE ENDS]]

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 2: A Movement in White

Chapter 1-A

When brought to light, the monster's pain

Is clarified and can bring shame

Yet bit by bit, their pain is cleansed

But will aught be left, in the end?

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

You awaken in the clocktower. Your nightmares were tame this time…

…You aren’t that hungry. Why, again? Think…

▲ “Morning Sif.”

Oh. Isa’s here… You just noticed you’re holding them. Oh! You let go.

▲ “You’re all good Sif! Feeling better?”

Better… Right. You… You got out of the timeloop yesterday…

✦ “Y-yeah. Better.”

▲ “Good! Others are already up, we better join them! Don’t wanna miss breakfast.”

...Right. You imagine they have a bunch of questions. You… Didn’t talk much yesterday, after… all that. Just… wanted to rest…

You head downstairs, and see a bunch of groggy faces.

◆ “Morning Siffrin. Grab some food, Bonniface made extra so grab plenty.”

You nod, and grab a plate. You might be mostly okay, but you still grab extra. Could always eat more.

◉ “Please tell us at least ONE of us slept well?”

✦ “oh. uh. I guess you all didn’t?”

◆ “Nightmares all around, I’m afraid. Not a surprise, but breakfast certainly helps.”

✿ “Yeah! Chocolate chip waffles make anything better!”

◉ “Agreed, Thank you Bonnie.”

Oh, pun time!

✦ “Yeah. Thank you for… Chipping in.”

▲ “HA!! HAHA!!”

Bonnie and Odile groan, while Mira holds back a light chuckle.

You sit down and get a few bites in, taking the time to actually savor the food this time. First time in a while you could. You thought you’d had enough of sweet, after all that sugar scent from wishcraft, but you think this redeems it. Bonnie’s food is too good! And the eggs and bacon on the side is VERY nice…

◆ “… While we’re here, Siffrin, I know we held off asking too much yesterday, to give you a bit of a break. But I suppose now’s a good time to start asking things. Let’s start off with something light, how exactly does your diet actually work?”

Oh. Well, you suppose that this IS the most important question.

✦ “Um. Normal food helps, but I’ll likely have to go out hunting about every week, or maybe two weeks if I find something good. Animals for nutrients, Sadnesses for craft.”

◉ “Huh. We heard you ate sadnesses, but those are distinct?”

✦ “Kinda? I don’t recover craft very easy, so I grab sadnesses to refiill. But well. They're just saltwater? So it’s not very nutritious. Doesn’t help the body much.”

▲ “Wait you need sadnesses to recharge craft? Huh.”

✿ “Next question! How much food do I gotta make to keep up with hunting?”

Right, Bonnie won’t like this part.

✦ “Sorry, hunting's kinda important. Or at least some form of meat. I kinda can’t eat other stuff otherwise.”

✿ “Wait WHAT?! What's that mean?!”

✦ “I kinda have to make a fake stomach to eat normal food at all. Otherwise I can only eat meat, and I’ll struggle if it’s processed too much.”

◆ “Wait, does that mean normal food isn’t nutritious at all for you?”

✦ “No! It still helps, I just need to put a system in place. And it’s not as efficient as with normal people.”

◆ “Hm. If you’ve been relying on hunting this whole time, that explains your ‘off days’. So in that case! Let’s keep a supply of dried meats as backup in case hunting goes poorly. Maybe see if we can’t buy some wildlife bait, make things easier for you. And don’t have you bother with craft unless you’ve hunted some sadnesses.”

You nod, thankful.

You all continue to eat for a bit. You're glad there’s plenty of protein in this meal.

◉ “..T-There is. One thing. I think. Should be asked. B-But it’s a bit awkward, and maybe now’s not the best time, and-”

✦ “It’s okay, Mira. Just. I’d rather not have you worry.”

◉ “… Okay… It’s just… In that fight with Loop… They mentioned you um…”

She takes a bit of a deep breath.

◉ “You’re struggling with… the taste of… human.”

Everyone jumps a bit at that mention, yourself included. Oh stars, oh no, this is the one thing you are not prepared for! You have to take a second, you were trying not to focus on that!!

◉ “N-Not going to pry! I-It’s okay, and you don’t have to tell us anything! J-Just!… Is… Is there a way to make it… easier?”

You… They're still here with you, they're not running, it’s fine, it’s fine.

Just take a deep breath and don’t think too hard.

✦ “I… It’s okay. It’s… I’ve gotten better at… Ignoring it. But... The smell of blood is bad. Hard to ignore it now… But I’ll manage.”

Nobody knows how to respond. You all know, adventuring, battles often happen, and there’s rarely a fight with no blood…

▲ “...I’m sure we can think of something to at least help!”

◆ “Of course. We do still need to get supplies for the trip to Bambouche.”

You nod. The faster you avoid THIS topic the better. And you need a moment to breathe after that reminder.

✦ “I-i’ll see about helping the house with repairs…”

▲ “Gotcha! I’ll help Bonnie get a letter to Nille, so they know we’re coming. And look for any news to find out the best route.”

◉ “I’ll help Madame with Supplies. We have a lot to get and might need to search a bit for what we need.”

◆ “Alright. Where shall we meet up?”

… You want to go there before you leave.

✦ “… The favor tree?”

Everyone take’s a moment of silence before nodding.

Alright. Best go about it then.

>>>

You sit in front of the favor tree. The Spiderlily still retains it’s color. You wonder if it’s permanent? Or if it’ll fade into shades eventually… You hope it stays. So that no one can ignore it. A little marker of them. So people will look at it and, even if they don’t know why, respect it.

Helping fix the house went… easier then expected. They were mostly fine, had crafts and stuff to fix the worst of it, they just needed supplies. They were already prepared for damages from the king.

You used a bit of monster strength here and there to carry stuff around. And made use of that webbing ability to help scaffold once. Made sure to head into the woods and locate a deer after that though, just because it seemed like a good idea. Also you noticed their craft generator was really outdated, so you did some tinkering and gave it a few upgrades. Euphrasie thanked you herself for that!

...Not that it was all pretty. Some people, having unfrozen after you beat the king, saw what you turned the house into. And some had even seen the sadnesses, before you had them die. Some saw your monster features and put 2 and 2 together. Though, one person thought you were a victim of it, which was kinda funny… The rest were just scared…

But now you’re just here. Sitting next to where they sat. Thinking about everything that has happened...

◉ “Siffrin! You’re here already?”

✦ “Yeah.”

◉ “Hehe! Me too. Got some nice stuff, Odile’s just double checking…”

She sits down next to you, looking up at the tree.

◉ “...Kinda feels strange, doesn’t it? That all that could happen just because people made a few idle wishes at trees like this… I’ll admit to some curiosity as to how that works.”

✦ “If you like, when everyone gets back, I could do a lesson? I… The real Siffrin was kind of an expert on this stuff. Even designed the Favor tree ritual. For Vaugarde.”

You made sure to grab those books while in the house. Nobody minded, since no one else could even read them. Felt they were important.

◉ “Wait, really? For Vaugarde?… I guess it got some use, in a way. Even if it went bad.”

✦ “It normally doesn’t… Siffrin put a lot of work into it. And died before the people they wanted to use it ever got to know… I think they’d be glad it got some use at least.”

◉ “Well, if it makes you feel better, you could tell people how to do it? So it gets to live on a little!”

You nod. You’d like that a lot… You can still bring a little closure… In fact…

✦ “… Do you think everyone would like to try, before we leave?”

◉ “H-Huh?! I.. I mean, probably? If you don't mind then. I-I guess I wouldn’t mind myself… though I’ll have to think a bit to figure out what I want.”

✦ “Of course! We wouldn’t... leaf you out.”

Mira chuckles at that.

◉ “That’s so bad Siffrin!”

The others start to round the corner. Odile waves at you all, bags in tow.

◆ “Caught these two on their way back. They sent that letter, charted a route, and I got all the supplies. Though Boniface did come up with a few extra suggestions, so I’ll grab those before we go.”

▲ “What were you two talking about?”

◉ “Siffrin has a fun idea before we all leave!”

✦ “Yeah! But first, since you’re all here, want a proper lesson on wishcraft?”

◆ “Well, I’m not opposed, Loop only gave us the short version.”

✿ “The cool magic stuff?! Crab Yeah, I wanna know!”

▲ “I’m super interested! It comes from your home right? It’d be nice to know a bit more!”

You nod enthusiastically, and pull out the main book! Oh Stars your excited to do this again, you love talking about this, and this time they’ll remember it! Which means you can talk about extra stuff later!

◆ “Ah, You have a book ready and everything?”

✦ “Yeah, it’s all island speak so they didn’t mind giving it to me, since right now only I can read it.”

▲ “Oohh so this would be proper lost knowledge. I’m even more excited!”

Oh, lets do that teacher bit again, you liked doing that, actually.

✦ “Sit down, class, and we can begin!”

You get a few chuckles out of that. They take your seats and you begin.

You explain the stars, the constellations, the way the many worlds contribute to wishes, the way your world does the same, The way rituals are made, the way they're guided, the types there are to use. You make sure to let Bonnie know about the paper cranes, and on request, you also explain how the king did their wish. It brings a bit of a damper on things, but then you explain the wishing tree wish.

As you read it out, you see that that name and title, and it brings down your heart a bit.

▲ “Something wrong Sif?”

You… Guess you should mention it. Being quiet about things like this worked out poorly last time… And they kinda already know about what happened so...

✦ “It’s just. This ritual was made by the real Siffrin. And lists them by full name and title. And well… I didn’t know beforehand…”

◆ “Title? They were a notable figure then, I presume.”

✦ “… Crown Prince, Siffrin Polaris.”

✿ “WHAT!!!”

◉ “Wait, really?!”

✦ “Yeah… I don’t want to think about it too much…”

▲ “Oh. Fair enough, that must bring up some complicated feelings.”

◉ “… Okay. But I will have to show you something later!”

You nod, and close the book, putting them back away in your cloak. Your a little curious why Mira would have something to add to that, but… later.

✦ “Regardless, now that you know all of that, I have a favor to ask!”

◆ “Really? I’m interested, what do you have in mind?”

✦ “The original Siffrin made that ritual as a gift for Vaugarde, and as such, I’d like my fellow saviors to be the first to learn, and more notably, properly use it! So, before we leave town today, If any of you have an idea for a wish, I ask that you do so!”

✿ “Coolest! Homework! Ever!!”

▲ “Hm… I’m gonna have to think for a bit.”

◆ “I presume that does NOT include yourself, given everything?”

You nod. You think you’ve had enough wishcraft to last several lifetimes. Helping others do it is okay, fun even! But STARS you are never doing it again.

◉ “It should be something small, just in case! But it has to be something we care about.”

✿ “Well, I already asked to see Nille already, and don’t wanna double wish. Specially since everyone else got theirs granted, so I don’t wanna mess that up.”

Huh, they did, didn’t they? Isa saved you, Mira helped save Vaugarde, and Odile won their coinflip. Strange, they didn’t do the ritual right, but it still worked out? Weird! Maybe it’s enough that they visited the tree?

✿ “I’ll just think of something else!”

◆ “Hm… I’ll go ahead and do mine now then, I’ve had an idea for one for a bit now.”

Odile gets up, and starts looking around the tree for a leaf. She eventually finds a very smooth, flattened one, and whispers into it four times, then lets it go on the wind. As it flies off into the breeze, you smell a bit of sugar.

Suddenly, in a bright gleam, a book appears in her hands.

◆ “Well then! That’s efficient.”

✿ “WOAH!!!!!”

◉ “That’s So Cool!!”

▲ “Oh that is so crabbing awesome.”

She flips through the pages quickly.

◆ “Hm, yes, this is exactly what I needed, and seems to come with the side bonus of being able to read Islander… And this frankly terrible handwriting, Gems.”

✦ “Islander? What did you wish for?”

She raises up the book, and shows you the title.

Project Starchild Research Notes, by Siffrin.

◆ “Wished to know more about YOU, of course. Should save us some time. And already, some intriguing details, right on the cover!”

◉ “Really, like what?”

◆ “For starters, these notes are about a ‘Project Starchild’. Which gives some ideas for your origins, doesn’t it? And the fact it was written by the original Siffrin… Makes me wonder if you remembering them isn’t a coincidence.”

▲ “Hey, might even get to know a bit about your past! That could be nice!”

◆ “And help mitigate some concerns you may have. With that done, Anyone want to go next?”

Everyone thinks for a bit, now putting a bit more effort into their ideas…

◉ “Oh! I think I have an idea! It’d be really hard to do normally, but it should be simple enough!”

Mirabelle looks around for a leaf, and picks a very round leaf. Avid follower of Change as usual! She breathes her wish into the leaf three times, and lets it go onto the wind.

You smell sugar again... And then suddenly, a powerful floral scent?! Mira’s stumbles to the ground.

✦ “Mira!? Are you okay?!”

You rush to her side, and briefly see… A hint of violet in her eyes?

◉ “I-I’m okay! I don’t know what just happened?”

Huh?!???? Her voice! It… You can hear it in that sound only you can hear!!!

✦ “Mira. What did you wish for?”

◉ “I-I just wanted to know more about the Change God! You said we met them, and It got me thinking and… Is something bad, was that not Okay?!”

… OH. Wait a second… Her voice sounds familiar.

✦ “… You’re good. It’s just uh. Your voice. I wasn’t expecting that.”

◉ “Huh? My voice?… Wait, it does sound different? Why would that be the case?”

✦ “… It sounds like the Change Gods.”

▲ “Huh?!? It sounds normal to me?!”

✦ “It’s kinda in this sound normal people can’t hear. But this seems an odd way to fulfill that wish, and wishcraft doesn’t smell so floral normally...”

◆ “… Did the Change God interfere? If Mirabelle gained a trait of the change god then…”

Mirabelle’s expression goes to a mild nervous panic.

◉ “...Oh Change, what did they do to me?”

Heh. In hindsight, this sees fairly in character for them. Even when talking with you, they were often fairly light-hearted, and they did like Mira a bunch.

✦ “Looks like the change god is quite the trickster!”

◉ “Only for the best effect! (⌒▽⌒)☆”

Mirabelle covers her mouth in surprise. You all just sort of look at her in surprise. She waits a few seconds before speaking again.

◉ “T-That was them… wasn’t it?”

✦ “Yep…”

◆ “Ah. I presume that means… You’ve literally become part change.”

She just stands there unmoving, frozen stiff, before letting out a massive sigh.

◉ “Oh no….”

▲ “I, for one, accept our new Demigod!”

◆ “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it quiet, lest rumors about you get worse.”

◉ “Please! I don’t think my heart could take it!”

Well. That wish didn’t go as smoothly as you’d like, but you can’t exactly blame the ritual for that.

✦ “Okay, lesson learned, don’t make wishes involving the Change god.”

▲ “… But. If it can contact beings like that… Then maybe… I think I know what I’m gonna wish for.”

✦ “What do you mean?”

▲ “I know you said just wish for small stuff but… I have to try this.”

◉ “Please don’t do anything rash!”

▲ “Don’t worry, this should be fine!”

Isa looks through the leaves, finds a leaf already bent in half, and whispers their wish five times into the leaf.

As they let it into the wind. You feel something stir. As Isa begins to glow Red…

And promptly collapses!

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

What the… What happened? You felt weirdly faint and then… Where are you?

It’s dark all around. You don’t even see the ground.

You feel something behind you. You turn, and see a single, massive eye, in that strange shade, towering over you as it stares at you. It’s bigger then the whole crabbing house!!! And… It’s no normal eye. It’s like Sif’s new ones but. It’s like one horizontal slit, with multiple vertical ones across it. But still oddly star-like. Speaking of stars, you see many start to fill the space around you.

A feminine yet otherworldly voice echoes through every fiber of your being.

✧ “Greetings. Child of Mankind. You have made… a Most interesting Wish.”

You don’t know how to respond. Crab, you don’t even know who this is!! Your heart is pounding out of your chest. Crab, Crab, Crab this isn’t good!!!!

✧ “I am the Empress Arcana. And I have chosen to take charge of your wish. For while you wish to speak with one of my fellow fragments… Another has made a wish that may be merged with yours, if you are willing to accept.”

Okay, breath, breathe. You gotta do this for Loop. You aren’t leaving any version of Sif alone.

▲ “Uh.. I uh. Just wanted to talk to Loop. Wasn’t… expecting this.”

✧ “The one you knew as Loop has become one with the Fool Arcana. And while your wish may grant you but a handful of words, so detached from reality as we are… Someone has wished for me to grant another true Communion. To Give another the Royal Blessing.”

...You’d only get one talk with Loop otherwise?… No, they deserve better then that! You won’t let them be alone.

▲ “… I’ll hear you out. What’s this involve?”

✧ “You would be given the power to call to us, your very Blood infused with my own power. And if need be, summon us into the world, at a price. Even without us present, we will expend no cost to keep you alive. And when we ARE summoned, the power of the universe itself will be at your beck and call. For in doing this, you would become our hope.”

▲ “Your hope?”

✧ “We Arcana were once one. And we yearn to be whole again. We can only do so when all of us are returned to the world at once. You need not summon us all yourself, your gentle heart would not willingly shed such blood.

✧ “But… This blessing can be passed down through your bloodline. And if even one of them lives, then there is a chance we may return.”

This… Is way more then you were bargaining for. Dangerous power, costly prices, and a hell of a duty… But you guess, Someone’s gonna have to do it. And given Loop’s one of them now, maybe It’ll help them out. They took on rougher stuff for you all anyways.

▲ “…That’s… a heavy responsibility… But. I guess. Loop deserves my best, for all they did for us. So, okay.”

✧ “There are two caveats. One knowledge you should know. And one a task you must complete.”

You breathe in and out. Change, Isa, you really have gotten into something way bigger then you should have...

… But you knew something like this might happen, the moment you made that wish. You knew that whatever Loop dabbled in to become whatever they were, it wasn’t gonna be pretty. But you aren’t gonna back down now.

▲ “Alright, I’m ready.”

✧ “First. I know not who made this wish for a New Royal Blessing. There are few who even know of such things. And to give this much power yet evade us… They will have plans. Plans that you will be wrapped into. And We may not protect you from this if it serves our interests. We sadly cannot afford to.”

Harsh. But… You get it. They need this… You get the feeling they don’t have many options.

▲ “Alright. That’s okay, We can handle it.”

✧ “Indeed. Even if we cannot protect you… I know the fallen star you cherish will… it is good they found you. They deserve your kind heart.”

Fallen star?...Do they mean Sif? Madame did mention they might be a 'starchild', but what does that mean?

✧ “Finally, my task… We do not give this blessing lightly. We cannot risk it on the weak. You must prove yourself strong enough to follow this path…"

Oh you do not like the sound of that...

✧ “To defeat me would be unfair. So. I simply ask that you survive my trial. But do not think I will be merciful. If you fail. Your life is forfeit.”

You watch as titanic claws of twisted pale flesh, adorned with Gold and gemstones, eyes and faces peering from the skin’s surface. You tremble, you have no idea what the crab you can even do about this!!!

You hesitate knowing this will be very dangerous. You’re putting your whole life on the line…

But the sheer thought. Of ANY version of Sif. ESPECIALLY one that’s gone through as much as they have. Being stuck. Alone?...

You know this is your last chance to back out but…

▲ “...Okay. Let’s do this.”

You raise your fists. You will win this.

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

You try and shake Isa awake!! Nonononono Please please let them be okay!! Blind it you should have stopped them! Shouldn’t have asked any of this! Please!! Let them be Okay!!!

Wait… You watch as Isa’s hair alights a bright Red for a brief second! And then, when it fades, it seems like a slightly darker shade then before?

He opens his eyes, now a matching shade to his hair.

▲ “...Hey Sif. Sorry for scaring you.”

You cry. Blind it! Blind him for scaring you like that!

◆ “Gems Alive, what did you even wish for that could have caused that?!”

Isa coughs up some blood! Stars!!!

▲ “Sorry, I uh. Just kinda fought a god? I think? No idea what that was.”

◉ “I have SEVERAL questions?!???”

▲ “Sorry! Sorry. I just. I wished to be able to talk to Loop. Turns out, that’s a complicated situation. But hey, I think I should be able to talk to them whenever now!… Might want to wait till I’ve recovered though.”

He wished for?… Of course. He really cares about you. EVERY version of you… That he’d go so far…

✦ “Please don’t do that again…”

▲ “Course Sif. I Promise! Sides, kinda part of the contract... I’ll explain later!”

Mirabelle gives Isa some healing, and they sit down in a comfy spot.

✿ “… You all picked funny wishes. Guess I gotta do this wish!”

Bonnie goes up to the tree, and grabs a leaf with a few worm bites taken out of it. They whisper something into it six times, and then let it go into the wind.

You smell sugar, but nothing happens. Bonnie looks unfazed.

✿ “Aw. Kinda hopin something would happen. Guess it’ll just kick in later.”

✦ “What did you wish for?”

✿ “Well you had to deal with a lot of stuff that none of us remember. And it’s super crabbin annoying, cause we can’t talk about it!”

✿ “So I just did the smart thing and just wished to member it.”

...Bonnie… Wants to remember. The timeloop? Oh no...

▲ “Oh that isn’t good.”

✿ “I know it’s not gonna be nice, Frin had a bad time, but somebody’s gotta know bout it! Sides, it can’t be that crabbin bad!”

Odile points at the spiderlily. STARS you didn’t even consider that, and you were already about to gag from your own memories.

✿ “Oh. Crab. Right.. Do those count? I mean, they kinda stopped bein Frin, so...”

◆ “I suppose you’ll find out, probably.”

You still can’t get that blinding taste out of your mouth, you feel like you're going to choke, it’s hard to think. Breathe. Breathe.

◉ “Siffrin?”

Blind, it you… You have to warn them!

✦ “B-Bonnie. I… Even if they don’t, it’s… It’s not good. Mine weren’t… You… The king!”

▲ “Hey, Sif, calm down, it’s okay, it’ll be fine.”

✿ “Yeah, It’s okay, I knew it was gonna be bad, you can tell me later if I need to know, once we see if the crabbin wish did anything!”

Later. Okay. Later. They're right. Maybe they won’t even remember it, and it’ll just be a vague thing. You take some breaths, in and out, try not to think about that BLINDING memory. Shove it into the back of your mind. Don’t think about it, Don’t think about it.

◆ “Sigh Well, at least every wish got granted in some form, far as I can tell. Can’t deny it’s effectiveness, even if… Some of them were complicated.”

✦ “… Yeah, I think… That’s enough wishcraft for today. Lets… let’s head back to the clocktower for now.”

Everyone nods. As you walk away from the tree. You wonder if doing this was worth it in the end…

>>>

As you all rest in the clocktower, Most of you just resting from your exertions, while Bonnie makes some lunch. Mirabelle seems to be thinking really hard, trying to figure out her weird connection. Isa is nearly passed out from… whatever he just did. And Odile is flipping through her book.

◉ “… Um, Siffrin? I have an odd question. It might seem a little out of the blue but… I think, at some point yesterday, you mentioned having lost people you cared about?”

Oh…

◉ “S-Sorry! I know it... Must be a sore spot. I wouldn’t ask normally but… I kinda feel like it’s important?”

✦ “...Right. Change god did remind me of them in the first place. I had… honestly forgotten about them. Hard to remember anything from my old home.”

◆ “It must be rough. A few names do pop up in this book though… But I’m curious what you remember of them?”

✦ “Barely anything… Oh! But I do have a picture of at least one of them!”

You pull out that special device. Can’t remember what it’s called, still.

✿ “Woah! That looks fancy!”

Bonnie walks out with some nice grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

✦ “Yeah! I can’t remember exactly what all it does, but I do know it can store pictures and stuff! I have a picture from when I lived on the Island here, but I can’t browse the rest of it, cause it gives me headaches.”

◉ “Oh! I wanna see!”

▲ “Absolutely, I wanna see young Sif! And their friend!”

You turn on the device as your family gathers round. They look at the pigtailed woman, and the old version of you.

They're about to make comments when suddenly, a weird symbol pops up on screen.

✦ “Huh? What’s tha-”

The device flashes with an odd light, and you all suddenly feel a bit dizzy.

◆ “Gah, gems, what was that?!”

◉ “I think it was some kind of craft?”

And right when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder, the device starts shaking, and an icon pulls up, with text in your home language next to it, and another picture of the pigtailed woman.

Call from Re. Answer?

✦ “Call from?…”

But… Who would even be able to call you? That’s impossible…

… You hit answer. You have to know...

[skyloftian-nutcase]

The Great Bakeoff (pt 1)

I'm waiting for my dough to rise so let's have some fun and see how several of the blorbos handle making bread :D

Healthcare AU

Malon smiled, hands on her hips as she surveyed all the ingredients and cookware in front of her. She had organized her tools on her counter like a scrub tech would lay out tools for a surgery, which she had noted halfway through with a touch of amusement, but it was routine to her, so she let it carry over into her kitchen.

Today was the day she and Time finally had more than one day off together, and she was choosing to celebrate. Being domestic and making some bread seemed appropriate, and she'd gone to the bakery with Four enough times to want that amazing smell of freshly baked bread wafting through her own home.

Time to get to work. Reading the cookbook, she yelped when she felt hands slide around her waist.

"Oh, you!" she harrumphed, bopping her husband on the face with a roll of paper towels. "I'm trying to bake!"

"I see that," Time noted. "Need some help?"

"The last time you tried to help you set the bread on fire."

"That was only one time, dear."

Malon shooed him. "Go outside and spend some time with the horses like you've been wanting to. I'll meet you out there."

Time smiled and obliged, though not before stealing her dish rag and making her chase him and pay a toll of a kiss for its safe return. Eventually she set to work, focusing and enjoying the task at hand. As she combined flour, yeast, sugar, and salt, she couldn't help but wonder how all of this would make a good loaf.

Well, it doesn't have to be perfect, she supposed. Just edible. I can do edible. I'm a mighty fine cook, after all... or at least I used to be before my nursing career destroyed my free time.

But she'd never baked, and she knew how precise of an art that was.

Malon poured the hot water into the mixture, hesitantly stirring it with a spoon before getting her hands dirty. The first mistake was that she definitely should have put flour on her hands to avoid the dough sticking to her, but it seemed to form together well enough under her hands.

Smiling at her work, Malon covered the dough and set a timer on her phone before washing her hands and strolling out to see Link riding Epona around the field.

Ordon Fam

Uli stress baked and she would be the first one to admit it.

Most of her cooking was meals - hearty stews, egg and milk based recipes, vegetables and the occasional fruit or meat that Rusl would bring. But when her worries clenched her heart and made it to her hands, she would end up buying ingredients off Sera and setting to work.

Today she had to distract Colin while her husband and Link were away in Kakariko, an all-too-quiet rainy morning after such a horrific night. Link had been so dreadfully injured, and Rusl--

Uli bit her cheek, blinking tears away. Colin giggled from her bedroom where he was babysitting Hana.

She let her hands do the work automatically, easing her mind and heart, settling into a familiar, comforting routine. The dough was smooth and bouncy under her hands, a satisfying texture that distracted her enough. She could get her worries out through liberally kneading it, hands and mind so in sync that she hadn't even noticed she'd been abusing the dough for so long the shadows in the house had shifted positions.

Shaking her head, she covered the loaf to let the dough rise, making her way to her children.

The Wildlings

Tilieth stared bemusedly at the ingredients. Her finger bounced from item to item, listing it out loud in an attempt to ensure she had everything. After repeating the word salt four times and staring into the void, she discovered why her brain was short circuiting.

"I forgot flour!" she groaned.

Wait! No, she hadn't forgotten flour, that was literally the most basic ingredient to making bread. She had it somewhere.

One search later, Tilieth had discovered that not only did she have flour, but also shriveled Hylian tomatoes that probably would have benefitted from being eaten a week ago.

Okay. Now she had what she needed.

Excited, she began to mix ingredients, having never made bread before. She wanted to see if she would be any good at baking different kinds of loaves, hoping to try new food and perhaps even share it with her parents and Abel. Her newlywed husband was actually sleeping in for the first time since they'd been married, and she was going to take advantage of it by surprising him.

Rummaging through their kitchen, she paused as she found that she wasn't entirely sure where the measuring cup was. She was certain she had put it in this one cabinet, but...

Ah, wait, her mother had moved it when Til had gotten overwhelmed organizing the new home.

With a triumphant, quiet ha! Tilieth pulled the item in question out and held it up to inspect it happily. She finally had everything she needed.

It wasn't until she was halfway through kneading that she remembered she didn't have a bread knife to cut the loaf that she was halfway through making.

The Princess

Zelda took a steadying breath as she stared at the bowl. Link had been cooking with her and teaching her basic recipes for a while now, and she finally wanted to try something for herself. Her friend and loyal companion was out of town, having gone to Zora's Domain to visit, leaving Zelda to sort out organizing her new home.

This was the first meal she'd ever made alone.

For a moment, she felt heartache at the thought of it. But it only lasted a moment, and instead, she felt eager, excited anticipation bubbling in her chest. No, she no longer was fed by royal chefs, no longer provided provisions by any settlement or outpost they visited. But she was building a new life for herself, and she finally felt like she was regaining her footing in a world that had seemed so empty and foreign a few months ago.

This was more than just baking bread. This was the start of a new chapter, this was her proving to herself that she could do this.

And so she set to work, having researched the recipe meticulously, eager to get every aspect of it right, ready to show herself that she was capable, that nothing was wrong with her, and that if she could piece herself back together, then she could rebuild Hyrule just as well.

[foreficfandom]

Why Was Alastor A Serial Killer?

I'm willing to bet that Hazbin Hotel is trying to avoid the true crime route of portraying serial killers with gritty 'realism'. Characters kill for theatrical reasons, not because the creative team is doing a deep dive into criminal minds.

I foresee Alastor's serial killer spree to be plot-spurred. Not because he's gonna be revealed to have antisocial personality disorder, or a psychopath, or something polarizing like that.

Realistically, any of the current Hazbin Hotel cast could have a personality disorder. Real-life serial killers aren't profiled (by USA FBI) to be more likely to have mental illnesses. After all, there are other serial killers than the ones you hear about most often. Serial killers are also the organized criminals, or abusive husbands, or political/religious extremists. They may or may not view their victims as fellow individual humans. They may or may not be influenced by bigotry.

Hazbin Hotel is a musical comedy first and foremost. It follows Loony Toons rules over Hannibal, or The Cell, or Silent Hill. It's possible that Alastor's serial killer past won't ever be a plot point. It's as relevant as any other character's reason for being in hell.

If his serial killer spree is ever addressed, I theorize it might be because:

They were magical sacrifices. Alastor's magical abilities take heavy hits from Hollywood 'voodoo'. One of the smear accusations against New Orleans' budding Vodou culture (especially against Marie Laveau of the Victorian era) were sacrificial rituals performed in areas like on the shores of Lake Pontchartrain. If Alastor was dabbling in magic during his living years, he might have killed and cannibalized solely for sacrificial reasons. Possibly involving his supposed 'deal', as well.

They were 'vigilante' targets. The lyrics in the pilot include the lines And we'll chlorinate this cesspool / With some old redemption flair. He values good manners. He doesn't believe in taking advantage of the weaker. One background concern of the Hazbin Hotel (and Helluva Boss) universe is the sheer number of humans who end up in hell, all equal in their sin. Like the angelic exorcists that descend to cull the herd, it'd be appropriate for a character to have a hand in playing a similar role whilst mortal. Or, at least, that's how he saw himself.

It wasn't spur killing, all the victims were connected. We've never had a full plot centered on why a soul ended up in hell. Canonical reasons have been revealed in side material, such as Angel Dust's organized crime and drug use. As the seasons continue, there may come a day where a character's mortal sins become very relevant. Many a protagonist has found themselves racking up a body count all of a sudden, thanks to his hero's journey. Perhaps that resulted in Alastor's notoriety.

Alastor was a living demon, and he consumed humans. His serial killing is one thing, cannibalizing his victims is another. He's obsessed with consumption and partaking in flesh. The pilot ends with his hunger for his mother's recipe. His side comic has him eating eggs at a cafe, then visiting Cannibal Town, then visiting a butcher to buy more food. He canonically dislikes sweets and is a snobby foodie that dislikes processed food. There's only three proper food scenes in season 1, and he's two of them - the deer, and when he eats other sinners in his monstrous form. If he made some sort of devilish deal while alive, perhaps the cost was the need for flesh. Thus gave rise to a human with inhuman bloodlust.

His reasons won't ever be revealed. Or, they'll be unimportant. We don't particularly care what gang Angel Dust ran with as a mafia grunt, and perhaps we're also meant to take Alastor's serial killing at face value. At of this writing, we poke and prod at the guy 'cause he's this huge mystery, but maybe we'll grow to care solely for his contemporary actions, and not for his backstory.

We may get our answer one day, but for now, he remains an enigma.