#they were all so unfriendly and there was all this gossip i hated all this drama

[adore-gregor]

uni is so much better than high school fr

[holylulusworld]

Every Breath You take (1)

Summary: There is a shadow following you. He doesn’t know what he got himself into.

Pairing: Stalker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader, Bucky x Alpine (platonic)

Warnings: stalking, being stalked, loneliness, a man out of time, bitchy boss, secret admirer trope, voyeurism

A/N: We start slowly to get to know them and their backstory. In this part, we will get to know Y/N better.

A/N2: You all made me do it! Here’s the series to this random idea: Stalker Bucky & Crazy Reader

Catch up here: Every breath you take (Prologue)

Every Breath You Take Masterlist

You’re chewing on your lower lip, humming at something your boss said. He’s boring as hell and so demanding. With his hands on his hips, he glares at your lunch as if he wants to turn it to ashes.

All you want to do is tell him to leave you alone during lunch break. You’re just too polite and nice to do so. 

He can bug you during work time, but not in the precious moments you use to catch up on the latest gossip on your phone. 

You were about to read about an affair Tony Stark had with an intern. Fake news, you’re fairly sure, but it’s still entertaining reading all the furious and stupid comments.

“Sure,” you nod and make a mental note, hopefully not forgetting about his next demand before you reach your desk to write it down. “Right after my lunch break.” You point out and give him a fake smile.

“You better hurry,” he snaps at you and storms off. “If not, you can look for a new job.”

He cannot fire you per se. Your boss is not as important as he thinks he is. One word to the HR and he can kiss his ass goodbye.

You’re just indifferent when it comes to your boss and his antics. You prefer to ignore his sometimes nasty comments.

The world is cold and unfriendly enough. You don’t want to be the kind of person adding more hatred to this world.

Bucky aimlessly strolls through the streets. He prepared everything for tonight, and now he’s a little lost because you are still at work.

It became his obsession to make sure you came home safely. He’d kill the time, window shopping or imagining how’d feel to hold your hand.

Time. Bucky needs more time to prepare himself to meet you for real. 

He wants your first date to be perfect. Therefore, he must watch you a little longer to get to know you better. – At least that’s how he justifies he’s following you like a shadow for the better of three weeks.

Bucky stops in front of your favorite bookstore, he looks out the window, wondering if he should buy you a book and gift it to you this week, or wait a little longer. 

He shakes his head. No. Bucky will start with the usual gift. Flowers. He saw you carry flowers inside your apartment over the last weeks more than once.

You love flowers, and he will find out which ones you love the most. Bucky doesn’t want to gift you the wrong flowers and disappoint you.

He already has a plan. According to your schedule – which he knows by heart – you will go to the little café close to your home. The perfect opportunity to sneak inside your apartment and get to know you even better.

Bucky will take any chance to make you see he’s more than his bad reputation. To the people out there he’s still the Winter Soldier. He doesn’t want you to think the same about him.

All he wants is to keep you safe and happy. Bucky’s new mission is the most important one he ever had. 

For today, he will wait patiently to follow you home, making sure you’re safe. There are many dangerous people out there, wanting to hurt or take advantage of a lovely person like you.

“Phew, home sweet home,” you sigh and plop down onto your sofa. You’re tired, and hungry and would kill to have someone to massage your shoulders. “What a shitty day.”

You hate to get back up, but you need a shower and search your fridge to find anything eatable. Your boss made sure you were working overtime, and you didn’t have the energy left to buy groceries.

Slowly getting back up, you sigh. You’d love to fall asleep right here on the couch, but it won’t do you any good.

Instead of sleeping, you walk out of the living room to have a shower. There’s still enough time left to watch your favorite show and eat leftovers from your fridge.

“She looks tired,” Bucky worriedly watches you with his binoculars when you walk back inside your living room. You yawn and rub your tired eyes. “She’s wearing cute pajamas, Alpine.”

Your secret admirer swoons. “Isn’t our girl beautiful?” He dips his head to look at Alpine sitting on his lap. The white cat meows and rubs his cheek into Bucky’s shirt. “She’ll be such a good mommy for you.”

Bucky pats Alpine’s head, gently murmuring the cat’s name. Alpine is his only companion, and he wants the cat to love you too.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers while lifting the binoculars to his eyes again, “she’s a wonderful and kind person. Y/N will love you too.”

Bucky inhales deeply as he presses your shirt to his nose. He’d love to take it with him, but for now, the top and panties he found under your bed must do. Bucky cannot risk taking more of your things right now.

In due time, he will take more of your things to bring them to the house he plans to buy for you and him. He’s already ahead of his plans, but Bucky never felt like this again. Not since Hydra turned him into a monster everyone still fears.

“Soon,” he hums and walks around your bedroom. Bucky takes his time, and even risks lying in your bed for a moment. He sniffs at your pillow, inhaling your scent deeply. 

Bucky sighs. He can’t risk leaving his scent on your sheets and must slip out of your bed too soon for his liking.

Time. He needs more time. Bucky tells himself all over again. He cannot risk scaring you off, or that you’ll be afraid of him.

He’s a protector, not a villain.

Bucky slowly walks out of your bedroom and inside your bathroom. He wants to know more about the products you like, and maybe sniff at your perfume too.

You’re still at work, and he has all the time in the world before he will pick you up from work and bring you home. In his mind. – He cannot turn up at your workplace and offer you a ride home. Not yet.

Bucky lurks around the corner to watch you walk out of the building. You’re angrily wiping your eyes and even cussing. Something you never did before.

“Who hurt you, doll?” He asks himself, and the person delivers the answer on a silver plate.

Your boss storms after you, calling you a dumb bimbo while throwing a tantrum like a man-child. 

Bucky squares his jaw. He clenches and unclenches his metal fist, ready to beat your boss into a bloody pulp.

No—not now. Not here. He will bring you home first and come back. Bucky will avenge you, and make sure your boss will never dare to raise his voice around you again.

Every Breath You Take (2)

Tags in reblog.

[alesreadings]

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.

4.5 stars.

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Cath... by Death Cab of Cutie (one of my fave bands in the world) was inspired by Wuthering Heights and I think it's beautiful in so many ways. If you haven't read the book and don't want to spoil yourself, read no further; my review contains some minor and major spoilers. Wuthering Heights portrays the tragedy of a couple who didn't get their happy ending, who were abruptly separated and how hatred, passion, love, revenge and toxicity made life hell for many, including the couple themselves. I read this novel about seven or eight years ago, but never counted it as reading because I didn't remember anything about it until today. I think that when I read it for the first time, I did not understand exactly the meaning of many things that this time I analyzed more deeply. Despite this novel being a homework assignment, I must admit that I quite enjoyed reading it and I am grateful that my sister had the physical copy even though she never read it in her youth because reading seemed, and I think still does, boring to her and she showed disinterest in it. Anyway, let's move to the review. Mr. Lockwood arrives at Wuthering Heights and when his landlord shows him in, he finds the atmosphere very gruff and unfriendly, although he can't explain why everyone acts as if they hate their own and everyone else's existence. At first, even I wondered, and it seemed to me that everyone was bitter in character and sullen. Later, Lockwood discovers that there is a ghost there and it is someone Heathcliff is looking for, longing for and missing. When Lockwood moves on to Thrush Farm, and asks Mrs. Dean to tell him who Cath is and the story of Wuthering Heights. In the end, Mrs. Dean tells the whole story up to the present. I found the writing beautiful. It shows a gloomy atmosphere, full of darkness and tragedy. I read it in two languages: English and Spanish, since as y'all know, my native language is Spanish and some English words are still difficult for me, so I decided to read it in both languages. The writing is quite dramatic and tragic at the same time. The characters are complex and at the same time, one can come to dislike them. I believe that Emily's initial purpose was to show us sullen characters, to make us feel apathy and curiosity for them, to the point of immersing us in the story as Nelly narrates the events from the beginning. I must admit that at first, I felt sorry for Heathcliff and that I thought he deserved more, that despite not being able to express his feelings for Catherine, he actually loved her. However, things changed as time went on and Heathcliff "matured" and grew up. He became a vindictive, aggressive, violent and nasty man. What started out as a romance and passion, ended up becoming an obsession and disgrace, which would lead to more tragedy and drama. Catherine annoyed me all the time: she was haughty, arrogant, dramatic and indecisive. From the beginning she came across as manipulative and it also seemed to me that she suffered from some bipolar disorder or some mental illness, but I didn't specify which, if any. She didn't want to marry Heathcliff because it would embarrass her, but she didn't want to leave him alone; I didn't understand her logic exactly. Hareton didn't deserve everything he had in his life, but he couldn't do anything about it, as his father was a drunkard and an inveterate gambler, and he was taken from the arms of Nelly, who could have given him a better education, manners and life. Cathi was someone very sweet at the beginning, tantrum like her mother too, but more cheerful and dynamic. Her marrying Linton was something that made me rage, as Linton was using her and she didn't want to see him, but cared for him as if she owed him something. But she realized that and ended up hating him. I'm glad at least she fell in love with Hareton. I ship them, but they are cousins and omg Sweet Home Alabama. I don't know if I should call Heathcliff and Catherine's relationship a "romance," because it was tremendously toxic. From start to finish, or at least, from the time they

were teenagers until they died. THIS novel is the mold for novels with toxic and tragic romances. Catherine's "love" and emotional manipulation drove Heathcliff to madness and perpetual torment. Edgar was just another victim of Cath's angry outbursts, making him an unhappy wretch. I doubt very much that Heathcliff and Catherine actually loved each other, or perhaps they did in the beginning, but what started out as a romance, ended up becoming a toxic relationship that haunted the next generation of children thereafter. It was actually pretty good, and I was here for the gossip, lol.

[sweeethinny]

Reputation - Look What You Made Me Do (Chapter 5)

this time it didn't take me so long :) I had difficulties with the ending but I think I managed to finish it in a decent way (thank to @harrys-wheezys who help me, saying about how the war had changed them, and they realizing it :))

keep commenting, i love reading your opinions 

AO3

-------------

I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage

''Look what they wrote about us!" Harry looked at her, a little still tired from the morning sex round, his brain soft and with little ability to understand anything but Ginny's naked breasts, right next to him ''Harry Potter , 32, Order of Merlin blah blah blah, was seen chatting animatedly alongside another ex- Holyhead Harpies player, other than his wife, Ginny Potter (or can we call her Weasley again?)'' Ginny turned her head to him, a little too furious for nine on a cold Sunday morning "Terry is a lesbian! And she knows it."

''Why do you still buy this?'' Harry yawned, cuddling up to her chest, smiling at the softness of her breasts, better than the pillows, as he felt her nails on his scalp, almost driving him back to sleep.

''Why do I need to know what they are saying about us?'' He knew it wasn't really a question, so he kept quiet ''Forbidden romance is a hell. They've been separating us for years now, do you remember that about our marriage?'' 

Rita no longer wrote alone, now she shared the gossip podium with Beau Miller, a man no one really knew where he came from, and seemed to have won people's hearts more for his beauty than for the work itself.

'' ..Of course, what he writes is pure shit ' Harry grunted angrily, throwing the newspaper into the fire and watching it burn, irritated that he said that about Ginny ''They said she has kept me under the love potion .. Ginevra Weasley! The woman who knows very well what it is to have no control over yourself while someone else manipulates you like a puppet, would make me drink love potions! ' Harry clapped his hand on the table, suddenly feeling like he was on edge. .

He thanked for being alone.

''Is the future Potter keeping our chosen one under a potion? ' Harry feigned a very forced accent, his hand on his chest while blinking pompously into nothingness ''To hell with 'Our Chosen One' ''

It was just as irritating how much they got into their lives, saying filthy things about the two, making silly assumptions about betrayals, love potions, and even a teenage pregnancy - the picture of Ginny with Teddy in her arms gave them that.

Harry was so tired, especially now in the week of their wedding, where he was so nervous and upset that he thought he was about to fall to the floor with a heart attack. And it made it worse that Ginny was in France with Fleur, for something about her dress.

They always made him look like a fool, and Harry definitely hated them.

And it was with this resignation that he left his office, marching furiously to the building where the Prophet was.

 The role you made me play Of the fool, no, I don't like you

 ''How to forget? I think Beau is still scared of me'' He laughed nasally, hugging the woman's waist and burying his head more in her breasts ''But it wasn't just me who did it, if I remember correctly, in your seventh year you also lost the head''

''She caught me on a bad day'' Ginny defended herself

 It was supposed to be a calm Quidditch Final, at least it was what she expected.

She was prepared to face Ravenclaw with all her blood, determined to win and make use of all those training sessions under the rain and mornings that had barely emerged. She would win.

Harry being there, helped a lot too.

''If we win .. '' She said when the two met in the locker room still empty, for just one conversation.

"When you win," he said, kissing the tip of her nose before listening to her again, with all his attention and affection.

But then there was the press, as usual, and Rita Skeeter was there too, asking about silly stuff.

Ginny was on the edge, missing her stupid boyfriend who got bogged down with jobs until he missed the last trip to Hogsmeade, afraid to lose, eager to have scouts in the audience who would assess her potential to the last drop, judging her good or not for her team, nervous about the exam of her NIEM's next week .. It was so much, that having Rita distorting her words was not a real desire.

That smile ... Ginny was so eager to take it away.

I don't like your perfect crime How you laugh when you lie

''But Mrs Weasley, have you been playing just to impress a certain person? ' That had been the question after Ginny had scored 8 goals in less than an hour, and helped Gryffindor to win the Cup and being an incredible captain, being quite modest.

Of course, because everything about her was always intertwined, in some way, with Harry.

With little patience left, she decided to smile sarcastically as took the feather in her hand and kneaded it until there were no more pieces left, approaching the woman in a very unfriendly way, which made her startle and take two steps back, cowardly

''Yes, and I've been well rewarded for that. As you can see .. '' She waved her notebook with her wand, making it burn and end up nothing less than dust on the dirty floor of the locker room ''I'm great with my hands''

You said the gun was mine Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!)

 ''You're really good with your hands'' Harry kissed the one who was resting beside him on the bed, also kissing her finger with their wedding ring, feeling the cold gold against his lips

''Thank you, I got better with time... You are lucky that I don't mind all these intrusions, because I already received some invitations to run away from you'' The man laughed, lifting his chin to look at her, green eyes playing fun

''I can't even believe what made you stay'' Ginny shrugged, smiling and running her nails over his shoulders

''Your fortune, of course''

 ''Ginny Potter getting married out of interest?

That's right wizard world, the Quidditch Team's great player,  Holyhead Harpies, received a marriage proposal from a Puddlemere United Team player, which we were unable to identify. And he claims that Ginny Potter told him that she will only marry Harry Potter because of his fortune.

More information on page 15.''

''Does the man say that but they don't know who he is?'' She snorted ''She loves to make me look like a disguised bitch'' Harry barely looked up from Ron's letter, drinking his coffee and wondering if he should get a piece of cake or cookies.

''She does it because she knows you read and it hits you ' The bride turned like a rabid dog towards him

''Hit me? Please, Harry! I am furious that they do not destroy the image of a man who proposed to a committed person, but make up this shit about me .. I'm sure that tonight she will be there'' The Ministry party, the one that the two tried to make up any excuse for not to go, but that in the end, he had been obliged to attend. ''Do you know something? I will use the diamonds you gave me. And I'm going to buy a new dress.'' Ginny got up from the table

''I thought diamonds would be for special occasions'' He joked, still not looking at her

"And isn't that special?" He risked looking at her; her cheeks flushed like fire, hair up in a quick bun and his shirt as pajamas ''Wear your expensive suit too. We will be the most glamorous couple of that idiot party'' And then she left, stomping firmly and still babbling curses along the way.

 [...]

''How I look?'' Ginny came out of the closet, and Harry started to wonder if they really needed to go to that stupid party, or if he could invent a disease that made him stuck at home.

She was stunning, the dress was golden and long, falling very close to her body and with straps so thin that he didn’t know how they didn’t split in half, a straight neckline that made her breasts look so stunning it was like he was 17 years and be embarrassed to see them. Her hair was tied in a neat bun, the diamond earrings matched the ring he had given her last month, delicate but shiny like party globes. Her lips were blood red, her eyes painted black and gold that made Harry forget the time she had spent in the bathroom.

''Wow'' He blinked a few times, watching her approach and fix his tie, blinking innocently and laughing

''Thank you my love, you are also beautiful ..'' Her hands smoothed the suit well aligned, seeming to approve that he had listened to her and put on the expensive piece ''I loved the gold buttons, they really make a great pair with my dress'' Ginny put her arm through his ''Can we go, Mr Potter? I need to parade with my rich fiance around.''

''I never felt so happy that I was being extorted'' They laughed, finishing getting what they needed before apparating to the Ballroom who were told it would be the event, identifying themselves at the entrance and smiling at the first camera that appeared , ignoring all the looks that some gave him "I come back from the dead, but what they care about is whether my future wife is about to kill me to keep my fortune or not .. "

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

''Because it sells more newspapers when they talk about a selfish bitch'' Ginny faked a smile ''Look, everyone commenting about us.' The circle of journalists seemed about to burst with excitement when they saw them coming in, ignoring anyone else more important that it passed them, seeming to argue about who should go to the couple first

"They must be arguing about what you had to do to get these earrings"

''I hope they're being creative .. Just a blowjob wouldn't pay'' Harry laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist and bowing a little - she was on heels, they weren't so different in height now - to whisper;

''But I wouldn't mind buying you jewelry for every time you have your mouth full ' The woman blushed, biting her lip and looking at it boldly

''I'll have an arsenal of them then'' Before he could make any further comments, their names were called, and Rita Skeeter was right there in front, smiling from ear to ear

''Mr and Mrs Potter.'' Her false tone got to make Harry sick ''As always; admirable'' Rita blinked a few times at the diamond in Ginny's ears, almost approaching to assess the jewel ''It would be an honor to have an interview with you, there are several fans who are dying to know more details of the wedding of two such important...wizards'' She looked up and down at Ginny, as if assessing whether she was worth it that much.

Because, she was always Harry Potter's girlfriend, and nothing more. Forget her career as a player, and all her other merits.

''I can only say it will be luxurious'' Ginny commented, as much as it was a lie ''Nothing more'' She smiled falsely ''And even, I remember putting your name on the list'' Rita seemed to be excited, eyes and puffing out the chest

''We have an extensive list, you see, but we don't forget you'' Harry assured

''It's a great honor-- ''

'' --The list, of course, forbidden people'' The redhead smiled from ear to ear ''Now, if you'll excuse me ... ''

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! Look what you made me do

 ''She spoke shit of our marriage for a week'' Harry sighed ''I have never been so sad''

''She made me do that'' Ginny shrugged. ''That dress really made me beautiful. I hate you for tearing it up'' She slapped her husband on the back, who was laughing against her warm skin.

''You didn't look angry when I did that. In fact, I remember you groaned a lot. We had complaints from neighbors underneath''

''Living in a building was the worst idea ever'' Harry nodded, getting back on her chest, smiling at the feeling of being at home. ''She asked me for help\ last week''

"Who?"

''Rita'' Ginny laughed ''Maybe that's why today's story, she must be mad since I refused to help her''

I don't like your kingdom keys They once belonged to me

 ''Me and you?'' Ginny spoke a little disappointed, looking at the empty room and then at the woman in front of her ''I work at the sports session, Rita''

"But I need you to help me, Chudley Cannons has this new player and .."

'' ..I won't intercept them for you, do your dirty work alone'' The blonde nodded, looking unexpectedly like a demon from those muggle movies she and Harry had been watching

''My job is not dirty, Mrs Potter, it is as worthy as yours'' Ginny laughed, staring at her with an even worrying calm, seeing that lying red face in front of her ''We should unite here, be solidary with the other.''

''A job that consists of being invasive in the lives of others and making up lies, is not a worthy job, Mrs. Skeeter'' The last name looked like poison on her lips ''The last time I helped you, my name ended up in a not so friendly story about a naked photo of me that they had taken and were trying to sell around ... It seems that you didn't think much about the 'female sorority' before launching the article defaming me''

''I don't invent anything'' Ginny nodded sarcastically, turning away and heading back to her work area

''I'm sure not ... But thank me Rita, for not writing gossip'' Then she looked over her shoulder, still seeing her standing there ''I would have great topics to comment on''

 You asked me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast (what?)

 ''I think they're going to fire her ... Beau has also been walking the tightrope for the past few days'' She dropped the newspaper, lying on the bed and coming face to face with Harry, rubbing his face and sighing tiredly ''Not that I care, it's just Karma''

''Definitely'' The husband kissed the tip of her nose, then the cheeks, until he reached her mouth, smiling and winking still a little sleepy ''The guy who sold the photos is still in prison. I went to Askaban yesterday and saw him, he looked a little crazy and upset when he saw me. The guards say he started having nightmares about me killing him.''

''Urgh, can't this family stay away from the drama for even a second? If Beau listens, you can be sure that tomorrow is the first page dedicated to that. "Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world or a torturer of defenseless poor people?"

''He's definitely not a helpless poor. And he's lucky that I didn't find him, because I would have left him with more damage than just a cut on his shoulder'' The green eyes darkened, and Ginny knew he wasn't horny ''They treated him so lovingly I even thought they would give him they own bed for him to spend the night ... While you can't leave the house for a week!''

''It's an unfair world, babe'' And as if that still didn't torment her, Ginny kissed her husband, relieved by the feeling that ran through her, as if the tension had evaporated away and only the two existed

 The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma

 ''But I have you, my great savior'' She kissed him again, less deeply this time ''Some guys told me I deserved it ... You know, for whatever shit they believe I did. Michael met me on the street and said it was just me reaping what I planted.'' Harry rolled his eyes, sighing and seeming to control any instinct to leave their bed and go after each one

''I hate them so much'' Ginny nodded ''Last week a trainee made a joke about your poster is on the bedroom wall, facing the bed. I don't think he wanted me to hear'' His wife laughed, throwing her head back and happy that he could break the tension ''I'm serious, he affected having seen death''

 '' ..I leave it facing my bed, because you know, don't you? Lonely nights and everything'' Harry took a deep breath, already being spotted by the freshman's other colleague, who was as white as paper looking over the boy's head, his eyes wide.

''If you continue like this, only what you will have will be lonely nights'' Then his malicious laugh stopped, and Harry even doubted that his breath was gone.

''Erm .. Sorry, Har ... Mr Potter'' The boy turned around, looking much more like one of their children when they were caught tampering with something where it shouldn't have been, not as an auror in training.

''Not that you should apologize to me, it wasn't my ass that you were using as an aid to wanking ... But hopefully next time, it will appear in your mind and leave it soft enough to not want to play for a week'''

 And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure

Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

''He's still not looking me in the eye'' Ginny was still laughing, trying to contain the noise so as not to wake her children but looking almost impossible

''I really hope he saw your ass instead of mine .. Not that yours is ugly, I love her'' She kissed the tip of his nose, reaching down to squeeze the naked flesh ''All round and perfect'' Another kiss

''But it wasn't the one he wanted to see'' Ginny nodded, letting her be hugged ''I'm sorry for all this meddling''

''You don't have to apologize for anything, they're the ones who are fucking invasive. I accepted that life back in my fifth year, when you kissed me, and it wouldn't change a single point of my decisions '' The two looked at each other, Harry looking much more naked than he really was, blinking those beautiful green eyes in her direction, with a slight smile on his face

''I love you ... even if you are just here to steal my fortune, or if you are looking to get away with someone else ... ''

"... Or that I'm keeping you under the Love Potion?" Harry laughed, nodding

''Yes, I still love you so much'' Ginny smiled, even after all these years, still blushing shyly

''You look so romantic after I fuck you good'' He shrugged

"That's what they say ... But they say a lot, they already said they couldn't trust me when I was only 15 years old."

'' ..And today they use your opinion as a guide'' Ginny reminded him ''They always seem so sorry when you talk about the war'' Not that Harry talked much, but there was always a lecture here or there, and rather intrusive questions on the anniversary that marked the end. ''Rita always seems sorry about that time, but I never know if it is because we discovered her cover or just because there is a little humanity in her ... Anyway, I don't trust her at all. Not that she trusts me too much, of course. ''

I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me

I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

Harry laughed softly, running his fingers over her cheek and outlining his wife's face, as if he wanted to frame her to never forget. Ginny took a hand on her cheek, kissing the scar he had acquired in the fifth year, as if to prove that they were there now. Better. Alive

''The date is coming ... What will they all write this time?'' Ginny shrugged, interlacing her fingers with his and approaching her husband, wrapping her bare leg around his waist

"Some shit that will make somebody cry and say 'he was just a kid!' while they congratulate you and frighten our children'' Our children, it was one of the things he would never tire of listening to. Harry chuckled, relaxing against her, laying his head back in the middle of her soft breasts, being surrounded by that heady scent that he would never get sick of.

''Isn't it crazy to think that Teddy is already so big? We're getting old ''

''Oh, don't say that too loud, magazines love to remind us of that. Last week a magazine said I should cut my hair again to 'look younger'.'' Harry laughed, running his fingers over the red strands that were on the pillow, not as long as when they were teenagers, but not as small as when she was played, but still incredibly beautiful.

''We're not the same anymore, are we?'' She doesn't need to ask what exactly he was talking about. The war had changed everyone, but Ginny and Harry would never be forgotten about their changes, even if she cut her hair and he let his hair grow, there would always be a gossip magazine reminding them who they once were. Students leading a movement against the Ministry, teenagers having to deal with things that not even an adult would handle well, among thousands more.

''It would be impossible to be'' She smiled a little colorless, before her maternal instinct warned her ''James woke up.'' And the alone and comfortable moment was over, the two of them picked up their fallen pajamas by the bed and they dressed at impressive speed, much faster and more prepared than when they were young and didn't want to be caught by Molly. Her mother was much more understandable than a 7-year-old son, under locked doors

They would never be the same again.

I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now

Why?

Oh, 'cause she's dead! 

 ''Good morning, mate'' Harry unlocked the door when the little one knocked, waving him to come to bed with them, as he knew it was his wish

''Morning'' he murmured sleepily, still looking sleepy, scratching his brown eyes and crawling on the sheets to stay in the middle, laying his head on his mother's chest like a baby, before going back to sleep calmly. Ginny kissed his slightly sweaty hair and hugged the small body that was now glued to hers.

''How long until the other two come too?'' She whispered, laughing softly as ahe tried to hear if there was noise from the other rooms as well.

''A few minutes'' Harry didn't look sad ''We can still run away ... We took them all and we were gone for a week'' Ginny laughed, denying and using her free hand to ruffle her husband's hair

''You could never do that'' She unmasked him ''But we can get away after an interview, I know the kids will love it ... ''

 [...]

When the day came, there were, as always, reporters, cameras and people everywhere. It seemed that they never got tired of questioning every morbid detail of what the trio had been through in those years at Hogwarts.

But before the second interview started, Harry simply apparated with his whole family out, leaving everyone gaping when the six Potter (because Teddy would always be a Potter) simply disappeared, waving to the journalists before landing at the beach house of them, not far from London, but hidden enough that no one could find them.

"Tomorrow this will be on the cover of magazines" And it was.

''I do not care. They forced me to do this.. Ask about all the shit I went through? I do not care. Tease the kids?'' He waved to the kids running from Teddy who claimed to be a monster, laughing and screaming loudly, looking a lot less tense than they did a few minutes ago, when five journalists surrounded they to ask questions. ''I don't accept'' Harry would never let them take away their peace.

 ''Harry Potter, the wizard who saved the world or just a man in need of attention?

Harry Potter, 32, First Order of Merlin, Chief of Aurors, attended the Annual Anniversary Meeting of the End of the Second Witch War, with his wife Ginny Potter, his sons James, Albus and Lily Potter, as well as his godson Edward Lupin (known like Teddy). After the first interview (see more on page 15) the wizard who saved the world looked irritated when some questions started to be asked, and simply apparated the whole family out.

What does the editor of this newspaper think of this? Of two things, one; does the wizard who saved the world need attention and need his name back in the tabloids, or is it just a way to make everyone forget the possible betrayal he committed (see more on page 18) last Friday? ''

Look what you made me do

[emybain]

Three Times Nova and Adrian Were Caught and One Time They Weren’t

I started this last night at 1am on a weeks worth of sleep deprivation so honestly I have no clue what this is and I apologize in advance. The title pretty much sums up the fic. note: while these are technically all connected (post supernova drabbles), they have no correlation with one another and are simple drabbles that are connected through the title and the setting. enjoy

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

Masterpost of all my Renegades fics

    Nova was never one for public displays of affection, which was why she tried to avoid anything more than hand holding whenever she was somewhere with Adrian. After seeing that her bold kiss with him after her release from Cragmoor had ended up on just about every magazine cover and was the gossip of every tabloid, Nova would rather not have another repeat. The less attention on her in the months following the battle at the cathedral, the better. After all, while the former Council had tried to keep Nova’s true identity secret, someone had snitched to the press, and now the entire world knew the truth about Nightmare; not everyone was entirely fond of Nova. Still, it helped that she worked to prove she was a changed person, and her therapist was an angel by helping Nova find healthy coping methods for her trauma and anxiety and, more recently diagnosed, depression as well as just being an outlet that Nova could be completely honest with. 

    But even her therapist had advised against too much public affection with her boyfriend, worried that any backlash could hurt Nova and backtrack her on her progress to healing. Other than that, though, and the media’s affinity to finding flaws in Nova, especially her relationship with Adrian, being too romantic and affectionate in public made Nova feel awkward; she hated having a bunch of eyes on her, something she supposed she carried over from her days as an Anarchist. 

She hadn’t fully considered how private elevators were, though. 

After a morning of training together, she and Adrian decided to head upstairs to meet the rest of their team for lunch. From climbing the rock wall, to sparring, to finishing off with some laps around the track, they were both sweaty and somewhat gross. 

Adrian passed her his water bottle, as hers was empty. She accepted it gratefully, taking a short swig, and then another. 

“So,” she passed the bottle back to him, “does Oscar have a new place for us to try out, or are we just going to the cafeteria?” She secretly hoped for the first option, so as to avoid the repetitive food offered in the cafeteria and the occasional unfriendly stare by another Renegade in Nova’s direction, She usually returned those with a bright, sweet smile and a wave. 

    Adrian checked his wristband, probably for messages. “He hasn’t said yet. We can ask when we get up there.” He pushed his glasses up as they slid down his nose. Glancing at Nova, he cleared his throat. “So, speaking of food…”

    Nova’s ears perked up, her chest expanding at the thought of where he might be going. “Yeah?”

    He turned his body a bit to face her, hand snaking around her waist to rest on the bare skin beneath her ratty crop top. The skin there tingled beneath his fingers. “Since we don’t have patrol Saturday night, maybe we could go out? See a movie, grab food?”

    Yes, Nova thought, holding back a giddy smile. She could tell he was holding back his excitement as well, trying to remain cool by relaxing the arm around her. They rarely got the chance to go out on dates, and most dates were just spent at his house anyway. They were never anything special, as all Nova cared about was spending time with Adrian, but there was something about being an actual teenager and going out on an actual date with her boyfriend that was exciting. 

    Nova bit her bottom lip, inching in a little; he did the same. “I’ll have to check my schedule. Will your girlfriend be okay with us hanging out?”

    Adrian broke out into that smile that warmed Nova from head to toe. “She’s pretty amazing, so I’m sure it’s alright.” He leaned down, and Nova met him halfway, stretching up onto her toes. 

    “Then it’s a date.” She sighed as she kissed him, content. Sometimes, she felt as if she had fallen asleep somehow, and this was all a dream, that her life couldn’t have turned out this way. Sometimes, like now, she had to peek through her eyelids at Adrian to make sure that this was real. He was real. The shivers that ran down her spine from the gentle caress of his lips and tugging at her hips was enough evidence to prove this was reality and not a cruel dream.

    Neither of them felt the elevator come to a stop, nor did they hear the doors open with a ding. They did, however, hear a throat clear. 

    Nova jumped away from Adrian, cheeks already heating up as she smiled apologetically toward the stranger in front of them. Beside her, Adrian checked the floor. 

    “I believe this is our stop,” he said, voice not giving away whether or not he was as embarrassed as Nova at being caught mid kissing session in an elevator at headquarters. In fact, he acknowledged the other Renegade by name as he led a near-trembling Nova out of the small compartment. 

    When they were out of earshot of other Renegades, making their way to the lobby, Nova inhaled a shaky breath. “This is why we have our rule. Hand holding only.” 

    Adrian took the opportunity to snag her hand, lacing their fingers together. He had a teasing smile on his face. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just irresistible, right?”

    Nova restrained from slapping him. “I hate you.”

__________

    What had started out as an innocent hangout, Adrian working in his sketchbook and Nova on her latest invention, eventually turned into Nova sitting in Adrian’s lap on the couch, straddling him on either side of his legs. 

    Her head tilted back to give his lips better access to her neck, holding back her heavy breathing. He kissed a trail along her jawline then down the base of her throat to her collarbone. A gasp escaped her, and she felt his wicked smile against her skin. He pressed his lips to the spot again, then dared to gently bite the area. This time, Nova moaned softly and pulled his head back up to eye level with her. 

    They blinked at each other, trembling and lips already beginning to become swollen from the activity. Adrian tucked a messy strand of hair behind Nova’s ear, then cupped her cheek. Nova leaned into his touch.

    “I love you,” he murmured, stroking her jaw with his thumb. Nova grinned, her entire being in a state of bliss. How could she have been so lucky? How and why did she deserve this? 

    “I love you, too.” Nova pressed a kiss to his hand before pushing him back until he was lying on the couch. 

    They picked up where they left off, starting slow at first, but quickly growing as heated as before. Adrian’s hand traveled down to her thigh, tracing small circles, and then resting comfortably. Nova’s insides tingled; she wasn’t sure if she could handle so much contact for long without physically imploding. Her senses were overwhelmed with Adrian. She could only think of him and every one of his kisses. 

    Nova’s hand had just started to wander up his shirt when they both heard a swear. 

    “What the...holy shit.” Nova nearly fell off the couch in an effort to get off of Adrian. She pushed her hair back from her face, eyes widening at the sight of Max, who was holding a bowl. 

    “Max!” Adrian pushed himself up into a sitting position, grabbing a pillow to hug in his lap. Nova blushed even more, redness spreading to her neck. “What do you want.” He didn’t even bother phrasing it like a question, clearly upset about being interrupted. Nova had never heard him use that tone with his brother before. 

    Max looked between the two of them, a mixture of disgust and disappointment written in his features. “Really? Right in front of my salad?” He gestured toward his bowl dramatically. “A warning would have been nice, at least.”

    “Gee, okay.” Adrian rolled his eyes, “Yeah, next time I’ll tape a sign on the door to the stairs saying ‘Do not disturb.’ That way the rest of the house knows to leave us alone. Great idea.” He glanced over at Nova, but she refused to make eye contact with either of them, burning a hole into the carpet. “What do you want, Max? We were in the middle of something.”

    Max regarded his older brother with humor in his eyes. “Yes. I can tell you were very busy.”

    “Max-”

    Max held up a hand to Adrian’s warning, grinning evilly. “Okay, okay! You said the other day I could borrow some of your comics and I’m bored, so I thought I’d come down and get some.” He coughed lightly. “But I can see you’re a little,” his eyes darted to the pillow clutched to Adrian’s chest, “preoccupied.” 

    Adrian threw the pillow at Max’s head. He yelped and barely dodged it, but his salad fork fell from the bowl. Max frowned at it for a second before shrugging and picking it up, setting it back down in the bowl. 

    “I just wanted the comics, if that’s okay.”

    Adrian looked as though he would rather not give his brother anything, but Nova was ready to be embarrassed in private. “Second to last shelf on the bookcase.”

    Max smiled at her, and unlike the one directed previously at his brother, this one was almost sympathetic. “Thank you, Nova. I’ll be fast and get out of your hair. At least one of you is dependable.” Another pillow was chucked his way, but Max saw it coming and stuck a tongue out at his brother. 

    If it weren’t for the situation, Nova would have smiled. In such a short amount of time, Max had changed and become more relaxed and carefree, like a kid his age should be. He was still serious and wise beyond his years, but it was moments like this that betrayed his true age. Nova had a feeling the Supernova was probably the best thing to ever happen to him. 

    When Max left, a pile of comics in one hand, Nova fell back on the couch and buried her head in the cushions. 

__________

    A cold front had blown through Gatlon, so upon Adrian’s suggestion, they made cookies. Nova, having never baked or cooked something a day in her life other than simple concoctions like eggs, let Adrian do most of the work, helping when he needed small things done like measuring out something and handing him the cup. She scooped the dough into little balls when they were ready to bake, at least. 

    The clean up process was fairly simple, only being interrupted by the two sneaking attacks on each other with leftover cookie dough and anything that had spilled over onto the counter. Somehow, Nova ended up with flour in her hair and cookie dough on her cheeks. She managed to get Adrian back on his nose, across his chin, and smeared over his forehead. She was about to chuck a small handful of flour at him when he wrapped his arms around her, causing a shriek to escape her lips. 

    “Put me down!” she yelped, smacking his arm. He was laughing. “I can and will knock you out, Adrian Everhart!” One of his hands reached for hers, the one full of flour. He managed to grab her, and it took all of Nova’s strength to prevent him from using her own attack against her. In the end of the struggle, she was able to run her flour covered hand through his hair, leaving his dark curls a dusty white. She laughed at his shocked expression.

    “I win,” she said smugly, unable to hide her proud smile. “For my victory, I request a kiss.” 

    Adrian’s eyes softened, and his hands went to her waist as he leaned down. Nova bit her lip, then reached up to taste the cookie dough smudged on his nose. He blinked at her when she moved away, swiping at the dough on his jaw with her finger. 

    “Mm.” She nodded, licking her fingers. “That’s good.” 

    “You’re unbelievable.” Adrian shook his head, flour raining down to his shoulders. “Is this all I am to you? A joke for your amusement?”

    Nova nodded firmly. “Amuse me, court jester.” 

    He pulled her back to him, hand cupping her cheek. “Anything for you, my queen.” If it were anyone else, Nova would have gagged from the cheesiness. She even surprised herself these days with how dorky she could be at times, something that hadn’t been present a year ago. Every day, she was learning new things about herself that were shocking. 

    Adrian’s lips tasted of sugar and chocolate, remnants of the cookie dough. Their kiss, while leaving Nova light on her feet, was short lived, as a resounding knocking on the wall drew them apart. 

    “Parent present.” Hugh narrowed his eyes at Nova, although there was a twinkle of amusement in them. He liked to interrupt her dates with his son whenever he could, sometimes even joining in when he had the chance. Quite a few movies were spent with Hugh wedged between the two of them. He always liked to make his presence known when intruding on their privacy, too, such as knocking obnoxiously on doors and walls and anything he could get his hands on. “What are you two up to?” He looked them both up and down, taking in their messy states. 

    “Making cookies.” Adrian unraveled his arms from Nova’s waist, much to her disappointment. “Should be ready in a few minutes if you want to stick around.”

    Simon entered the kitchen then, followed by Max. Adrian’s other dad glanced around the kitchen at the oven, then at the ingredients strewn across the counter. “I thought I smelled cookies. I didn’t know you could bake, Nova.” He paused. “Or cared to. It doesn’t really seem like your thing.”

    Nova leaned back against the sink, attempting to shake flour from her hair. “I’m simply the helper. Adrian made them.” 

    Max snorted. “Last time Adrian tried baking, he burned the muffins. Are we sure we can trust the two of you to make something edible?”

    “You probably shouldn’t.” Nova grinned. “But I know you won’t pass up an opportunity for free cookies.” Max had a bit of a sweet tooth, she had learned in the months following the Supernova. Sometimes, it got him into trouble, like when he had been caught eating a bowl of ice cream that was three times the serving size. 

    The timer on the oven went off then, and Nova watched as all four Everhart-Westwood boys surged forward to pull them out. She shook her head, rolling her eyes. What was she going to do with them, this new family she had been integrated into? Once enemies, they were now some of the people she held close to her heart. Sure, there were times when their pasts with one another stung, but things could be overlooked, problems could be worked out and solved; at the end of the day, Nova had a true family again, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

__________

    The silence was unsettling as Simon and Hugh stepped through the door. Max was over at the Tucker’s apartment with the twins, while Adrian had Nova over to hang out. Simon had convinced Hugh that the young couple would be fine for thirty minutes while the two of them headed to the grocery store for dinner items. After all, the only thing Adrian and Nova had been doing since she had come over a few hours before was playing some zombie video game on Adrian’s gaming console. From the sound of things downstairs, Adrian had to teach Nova how to use the controller and explain how the game worked. While he usually had the game’s volume on high, the sound of gunshots and zombie gurgles echoing throughout the house, today he had replaced it with a local band’s music that Nova had mentioned she started listening to. It was possibly done for Nova’s sake, as Simon understood she hated the sounds of warfare and fighting, despite the brave mask she always put on while on duty. After a while, Adrian’s instructing disappeared and was replaced with normal conversation between the two, something Simon tried to not eavesdrop on, and the occasional shriek or swear. The swearing mostly came from Nova, so Simon couldn’t do much about it other than shake his head. 

    When Simon returned from the grocery store with his husband, though, not even music was playing from the basement, instantly raising his and Hugh’s suspicions. Exchanging worried, knowing looks, they dropped their bags in the kitchen and headed toward the stairs leading to their son’s room. Simon hated barging in on Adrian’s privacy; Hugh liked to refer to it as simply checking up on him. Nonetheless, the two headed down the stairs. Simon could see the faint glow from the television screen. Based on a few past experiences, including his own, Hugh’s, and even Max’s, Simon braced himself for the worst. He expected to find the two wrapped up in one another, making out as teens did to deal with their raging hormones. 

    What he didn’t expect to find was the game paused and Adrian asleep on the sofa, cheek resting on the cushion in his upright position against the armrest. Nova was indeed in his arms, but cocooned in a blanket. Her head rested on his chest, face peaceful. Simon had never seen her asleep before, as she didn’t need it to function like every other person did. Upon stepping closer, Simon noticed the way Adrian had pulled her close to him, almost protectively, and how his chin tilted down to rest on top of her head. On the coffee table sat his sketchbook, open to whatever he had been working on before falling asleep. 

    Simon nudged his husband, pointing to the drawing of a beaming Nova in a landscape of flowers. It looked like a camera shot, as Nova’s smile was aimed at something beyond the page. Caught in the middle of a laugh, perhaps, not even aware that her photo had been taken. Simon bet Adrian had drawn inspiration from a photo, and that the source of her happiness could somehow be traced back to him. After all, from what Simon could tell, Nova was always happiest when she was around Adrian. 

    “Told you they’d be fine,” Simon teased, reaching for Hugh’s hand and pulling it from his crossed arms. “We can trust them.” 

    Hugh made a noise in the back of his throat, eyebrows furrowed at the scene before them. He stepped closer to the sleeping couple, reaching down. “He didn’t even take his glasses off. You would think that them breaking twice before from falling asleep would have taught him by now.” Hugh plopped them down next to the sketchbook. Simon noticed how his eyes lingered a second too long on the drawing, softening. He had the same thought as Simon: their son was deep, deep in love. 

    Nova stirred from her spot on top of Adrian. Both Simon and Hugh froze as her eyes blinked open slowly, squinting at them. Immediately, Simon began coming up with excuses as to why they were down there. Embarrassing Adrian was one thing. He was their son, and as parents, embarrassing him was their job. Nova, however was another story. 

    His excuses died in his throat as a loose, sleepy smile formed on Nova’s lips at the sight of Adrian’s dads. She sighed and wrapped her arms around Adrian’s middle, somehow cuddling him closer than before. Just as quickly as she woke, Nova was back asleep within seconds, smile fading into a relaxed, peaceful expression. 

    Together, Simon and Hugh tiptoed their way back to the stairs. 

[dragonwarriorgal]

Fate: Winx Saga episode 1: To The Waters And The Wild

I can't see shit.

Oh my god! NOT EVEN ONE MINUTE IN AND ALREADY THIS GRUMBLED SHEPARD, A MINOR CHARACTER SAYS "Feckin sheep!" *grumblebrumble*

did he just walk through a magical barrier like it was a normal thing?

and yet another "shit”

Though I gotta say, it is cool that the light from the flashlight is red because of all the blood (which is on a whole other level of funny)

Oh man, am I glad that I decided to watch the first episode of Winx Club before this

Wow really, Winx Club got this amazing banger of a song called Under the Sign of the Winx and this live action has Enya

There we go, there's that fantasy teen tv mandatory pop song(1), I am curious just how many there are

W.O.W. They are just throwing us into the school. Granted, the original series was also just throwing stuff at you. But they at least introduced the school to you! Here it is just "school is starting, get your diet Hogwarts College here!" (god please don't make this be Hogwarts)

OH MY GOD, I am assuming this hunk of a blond English "gentleman" is Sky. BUT GOD THE INTRODUCTION!!

OH MY GOD, THEY ARE JUST BARFING EXPOSITION AREN'T THEY! OH MY GOD!

"Three months ago, I didn't know the Otherworld existed" THEN FUCKING SHOW US THAT!!!!!!!!

Ah, yes, from the first episode that I saw from the original cartoon that I just saw, I remember that Stella was so unfriendly and jealous and being a really pompeus ass like Sky

AH, BRIGHT CORRIDOR!

"well we had wings in the past, but most of our budget went into making this cool ass globe with moving ocean"

"Exposition barfing is also higly contagious around this school so you will have it in this whole season"

Almost EIGHT MINUTES in and we finally hear her name!!!

"It's literally hour one of day one, Mom" And, sorry if I am drawing comparison here" in the cartoon she already had 5 friends!

"You can learn a lot about people on their first day" Like, how they did in the cartoon!?!?!?!?

WOW, are they seriously having a discussion about Bloom's social life in front of everybody????

Also, it is weird that I can hear the sound FROM HER PHONE so well.

"Are you the one person in the universe who's never read Harry Potter?" First of all, no I have not and will NEVER do that. And second: DON'T BE SO OBVIOUS ABOUT YOU POP CULTURE REFERENCE YOU ARE RIPPING OFF!!!!

Oh, god. The entire introduction of her roommates

Show: Introductions can be so boring after all that Mean Girls talk, let's give you some action introduction!

There's the drug reference... Also my face during this entire sequence

Okay, what the hell is this scene with the ominous exposition warning, wasn't Sky JUST fighting this other dude who got high? Why the hell is he going outside "the Barrier" and getting high? I mean I know WHY, for the plot, but HE WAS JUST FIGHTING SKY NOT ONE MINUTE AGO!!!!

Honestly, I thought the High Guy (I don't know this douche's name, thanks show) would be the one to die. I completely forgot about "feckin sheep" guy. Wanna know why? BECAUSE OF ALL THE EXPOSITION!!!!!!!

WHY THE HELL IS THE CSI GUY FROM THE BODY, WHO COLLECTED A SAMPLE FROM THE BODY, GOING THROUGH THE FRIGGIN PARTY FULL OF GOSSIPING MEAN GIRLS WITH THE SAMPLE HE COLLECTED FROM THE BODY IN HIS HANDS WHERE EVERYONE IN THIS PARTY CAN SEE!!!??!?!?!??!!?!?!?

That was a weird scene. Well I guess hello cussing villain of the series.

Oh, this is this type of show, I would have preferred to get the flashback of "3 months ago" in the beginning... you know, instead of this exposition barfing, but oh well...

This show is so mean!

Pop song number 2!

"i just met you, person I STILL don't know the name of and HAVEN'T given you my name either, so maybe I will trust you one day"

Oh great, a love triangle....

You know what, I would rather see the lives of those background characters who were told by the director to mingle and be friendly torward one another, instead of this Mean Girls act!

Who the hell took those photos of her? ON HER OWN PHONE?!

Honestly, if we didn't already see her parents expositioning her character in front of everyone earlier, I would have thought that she killed them "3 months ago"

God, could you imagine if the fire conjured in her right hand instead of the left, thus burning her phone?

Headmistress: We will teach you how to use your powers safely and slowly, starting tomorrow Bloom: *goes during the opening party on the first day outside the Barrier to practice her powers on her own* Fire!

Dead god, now I am hoping that she killed her mother, WOW, THIS SHOW IS SO MEAN!

You know this reminds me when I was about 9 I have been practicing swimming for about 1 or 2 years, but when I was 9 I started to hate it, but my family wouldn't hear it so they forced me to go. Long story short, after I was dropped off, I skipped practice and- OH MY GOD, I HAVE EXPOSITION BARFING NOW!!

Winx club: Bloom is upset because she didn't get a scooter from her parents. Fate Winx Saga: Bloom is upset because her parents took away her door forcing her "to be more open" and she burns down the house.

Please tell me the High guy and the New guy end up together, I just know they are going to force some LBGQT+ representation somewhere!

"Stop bullying me because I'm fat! I can take care of myself you twat!" *goes ahead and uses her earth magic to strangle him*

"Sorry, I'm Terra" AH, LEGIT INTRODUCTIONS!!!

Again, I CAN'T SEE SHIT!

Why are they having dinner in the dark?

Wow, the sound editing is TERRIBLE!

"Hey, we are your parent's bloom. If we don't know you, nobody does." The most hypocritical statement so far.

Wow, she hasn't even STARTED classes on how to control her powers, and already she has given up and goes to her warehouse home!

There's that jumpscare, it always got to me in the cartoon.

oh no bloom is in danger, we have learned so much about you from those expositions

Who the hell is Silva, not that I was distracted by your glistening abs or anything. Is he going to be like Archie from Riverdale?

Pop song number 3!

4 lamps are on in this room AND I CAN'T SEE SHIT!!

"I can't sleep where they all hate me!" WELL IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WERE GIVING THEM A GOOD REASON TO LOVE YOU GEORGINA! #notmystella

"Can I sleep with you, you don't hate me" YOU FUCKING BROKE UP WITH HIM YOU BITCH!!

GAH! A FRIENDLY PERSONALITY!!

Oh, it's a Zombie story... that's....hm..

There's that forced LBQT+ rep

Let me guess, the hooded figure going through the barrier is the Braid girl?

And it ends with pop song numer 4!

In conclusion watching this episode

[moon-yeongjun]

Chuseok || Mu Jun

Summary: On Chuseok, the Baes and Moons gather as is tradition and a secret is revealed... 

@baenxietydad

JUN: 

Chuseok. 

Normally, Jun loved Chuseok. It was the one holiday that Jun could always afford to come home for with no guilt, to enjoy Eomma’s cooking and play games with his siblings. Last year’s Chuseok he had to spend it with Tiffany’s family and missed his own in the very fibre of his bones. He called Eomma and talked to her for two hours, nearly crying a few times, but of course, holding it all in. He had been looking forward to this Chuseok, then. Even though Abeoji would not be here...there would still be food and games and the Baes would come over like they always did--and Korean would flow, and the house would smell like egg batter, and he’d be...home.

But this year Chuseok came on the heel of Jun’s greatest shame. All the rich, delicious delicacies of Chuseok, the gifts, he didn’t deserve any of it. He woke up and wanted to walk out into the fields-- banish himself if Eomma wouldn’t. 

He couldn’t, though. Tradition was tradition, town scandal or not. Eomma found him feeding the chickens and gave him his to-do list for the day, mentioning the Baes would be over before noon.

So here he was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables. Onions actually. They burned his eyes, making him sniffle and  turn bright red. He looked up from the cutting board as he tried furiously to blink the onion-stench from his eyes when he heard a knock.

Ah, it was Mu-yeol hyung, sent in here by Eomma no doubt.

“It’s the onions!” Jun declared instead of hello, sensitive about the tear that rolled down his cheek. “Aiya, come here and take over, I need a break.” 

 MARLIN:

Mu-yeol clicked his tongue like he was admonishing Jun and quickly took over chopping the onions. Aiya, you’d think humans would evolve and immunity to the gasses onions give off considering they use them in cooking regularly.

“Fun fact-” the ‘about fairies’ bit was silent  “-onions don’t bother us. Evolution was kinder to us.”

He gestured to the counter with some shavings of veggie peels on it. “Scoop those into the trashcan before noonim yells at us both.”

Yells was used liberally here, as Eun-jung was more likely to go ‘omo, boys what a mess!’  and quietly do the spot cleaning herself while Jun insisted they were ‘about to do it, eomma!’

“Yah, you really took something out on the onions, didn’t you?” 

 JUN: 

Jun rolled his eyes at his hyung, though it was a good-natured kind of gesture (for Jun, at least). Of course fairies were unaffected by onions. You know, sometimes he wouldn’t mind so much being something like a fairy. It seemed idyllic from where he stood-- a kind community, lots of holding hands, one specific thing to do, even if that was, eh...garbage-talent! Or something. But anyway. 

He obeyed his hyung and put the food waste into the food waste bucket, since he would add it to the Moon’s compost pile later. Then he moved to the drawer to pull out another knife. He’d go for the mushrooms, eh. 

“Ah, just getting warmed up, hyung,” Jun said almost cheerfully. With a snort he took his place next to Mu-yeol and put the mushroom’s on another cutting board. “It’s election season. Plenty to be upset about, eh.” He began his furious chopping again. 

Yes, the election was what got Jun worked up. Nothing else! 

 MARLIN:

“The election? Oh.” Mu-yeol nodded slowly.

He almost forgot about that seeing as he never cared enough before last year. His son of course had only been going to human school for a year so it was just last year he cared enough to vote. If he recalled correctly he’d voted for Hades Acheron.

This year? He didn’t even know what seats were going to be open or who all was running yet. Of course that had yet to be announced but he imagined townsfolk had heard gossip of who may run.

“Are you looking to run?” He asked Jun, an eyebrow quirking up.

JUN: 

“Ha!” Jun barked at his hyung’s ridiculous question. 

Honestly, he could laugh even harder than that.

Jun, see, never had political aspirations. Politics were a bastard’s business-- necessary evil, yes, but not for him. Before his market was attacked though, he had hoped to help Al McWiggin with a campaign. Now? He wasn’t sure. It might be too dangerous. His store was targeted already. What if Swynlake went after his family next? What if Tae-yah was harassed at school? Jun fretted over these questions, and cursed himself for even caring in the first place--for ever wanting to make Swynlake better. 

Why did he care about Swynlake when Swynlake did not care about him? 

“Please, don’t you know we’re public enemy number one right now?” Jun said bitterly as he swept his mushrooms into the boiling pot. He reached for the carrots next. “I run, I get chased out of town with pitchforks.” 

 MARLIN:

“No? No, I didn’t hear. Who could be mad at your mother?” Mu-yeol wrinkled his nose in disbelief. Eun-jung was the kindest, most loving person. “Or is it you? You can be...abrasive.”

As Jun’s hyung, he can say something so brutally honest.

“Of course, part of that is our culture. We're blunt people. What makes you think people are so angry with you?” 

Being in the Hollow, he hadn’t heard of the vandalism. 

JUN: 

He scoffed again.

Was it a good thing that his hyung was clueless? Maybe, maybe not. Mu-yeol didn’t really count when it came to Swynlake. He avoided the town unless he was 1. Working; 2. Watching his son dance; or 3. Picking up Korean-specific groceries from the Moon Market. He had not come by recently and so he did not see the RACIST accusation nor did he go on Twitter or read the newspaper. Maybe it was a good thing talk did not reach the noisy dance halls of Pixie’s then? Or Jun should not count his luck. 

He began to furiously chop the carrots. 

“The store was attacked, hyung. A girl--she hated my petitions against vampires--against vampires, you know, the one many people signed! And so she vandalized the Market!” Jun brandished the knife very unsafely as his anger grew. “She said I was racist! I’m not racist, eh, I just don’t like vampires. You don’t like vampires!” Jabbed the knife toward Mu-yeol. “But I’m not racist. But no, now everyone is saying that we are unfriendly to Magicks and some are saying they won’t shop at our store-- but we are not, eh, we’ve never--we serve anyone who comes in, vampire, werewolf, fairy, sorcerer, we have never turned away a customer--all because I just wanted to make Swynlake safe against dark magic, dark magic, not all magic-- so I’ve ruined my entire fami--ah!” 

He hissed and his hand jerked away. He’d sliced into his skin with the knife as tears had blurred into his eyes once more. At least now he could blame such tears on the pain. Jun spat a very explicit Korean curse as he made to move over to the sink.  

 MARLIN:

Now, Mu-yeol was about to tell Jun it would be okay but then he had to go and damn near slice his hand off and that kicked him right into healing fairy mode. Jun swore and Mu-yeol followed him to the sink and turned it on so the water would rinse the cut. 

“Hey, hey, sh it’s okay. Don’t think about it.” Mu-yeol said gently. “I’ll fix it, give me your hand.

With her bare hand - which was not human medical practice - Mu-yeol took Jun’s hand in his and waved his other hand over the cut which in one motion stopped the bleeding. To seal the cut however he had to rest his other hand on top of Jun’s until it felt like they held sunbeams in their hands, complete with a little golden glimmer.

He pulled his hands away, still covered in Jun’s blood, and nodded to the hand. “Good as new.”

And with a flick of his wrists so that his palms faced up Jun’s blood disappeared from his hands. “And clean.”

 JUN: 

“Daebak.”

Jun did not say this.

He’d grumbled the entire time Mu-yeol tended his gash, tears stinging in his eyes. He had not heard the kitchen door open. He did not see Eomma enter. Only now he heard her soft exclamation. Jun jerked his head to see her holding freshly picked cucumbers from Appa’s garden. She had obviously brought them for Mu-yeol and Jun.

She had also, obviously, seen Mu-yeol perform magic. 

“Eomma,” Jun blurted and instinctively stepped in front of Mu-yeol as if he could hide--

Eun-jung blinked several times and then scurried toward them. “Aiya, already using both our cutting boards! Where am I supposed to cut these, hmm?” 

Jun blinked. He glanced at Mu-yeol--

Eun-jung pushed her way between them. “Junnie, the gim please.” 

“Eomma…”

“Stop standing there with your mouth open, you’ll eat a fly,” Eomma huffed. She looked at Mu-yeol. “Does this kid have rice stuffed in his ears? What?” A pause. “Are we still pretending I don’t know?” 

 MARLIN:

Mu-yeol stood there frozen like an ice block as his eyes flitted between Jun and Eun-jung. He used magic. He used magic on Jun (to help him!) and she didn’t even flinch. Apart from a soft exclamation of sur— no, not even surprise. She’d sounded impressed. Amazed? But not surprised.

And most importantly she didn’t seem angry. 

“I— what. Wait, what.” Mu-yeol finally stammered, looking at Jun as if to ask if he knew she knew. 

“You knew?” He asked quietly, barely above a whisper. “And you don’t care? For how long?”

 JUN: 

Jun watched his mother sigh, then smile gently at Mu-yeol.  

They had a rule in their household, very vague as to apply to many things. The rule was this: don’t talk about it. It could mean the recurring billywig blight that kept attacking their lettuce. It had meant Abeoji’s cancer. It definitely meant the many strange clients the Moon Market served, ‘strange’ applying to couples like Simba and Berlioz and to fairies like Mu-yeol. While these things were not altogether strange to Jun, he understood his parents’ stubborn silence as a conditional acceptance, for Swynlake had been what Abeoji could afford, and now that they were here-- it was home, flaws and all. They must respect those flaws. 

At least, that’s what Jun thought. Now? He felt like he’d just sliced his whole thumb off, even though the pain had vanished. What the hell was going on, eh?! 

“Oh, I don’t know!” Eun-jung said as she shrugged and laughed, though something in her sweet eyes remained sad. “Nam-minnie would always lose his hats, running around the store! You two aren’t so clever as you think. But you never said anything; I didn’t think you wanted us to know. It isn’t our business.” She shrugged a second time as she skinned the cucumber down. 

“You’re okay with it?!” Jun blurted. 

Eun-jung shot him a glare. “Eh, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because!” 

“They’re the Baes! What was I going to do, stop talking to them?” And though Jun knew she did not mean to, his Eomma blushed and looked back at her cucumbers, sucking her teeth as though Jun was ridiculous.

But--he understood at once. It was like he had always thought, the same reason why Jun had never said anything, following the rule of the Moon household to the strictest letter. The last thing he had wanted to do was take away one of Eomma’s friends. She hadn’t wanted to lose Mu-yeol, either. 

“Didn’t I tell you to get the gim?” 

Jun made a face. “Eommmaaaaaa.”

 MARLIN:

Eun-jung knew. 

Either she’d always known or she came to know and it didn’t matter to her, because she still invited them over for Chuseok; she still let Nemo sleep over with Tae; she still gently scolded Mu-yeol for telling Nemo to always help with dishes when he sleeps over. 

Had it not been for his being well-versed in Korean human culture, where showing the emotions he wanted to display now was frowned upon, he might have burst into tears and hugged her. He still almost did. 

“Tae eomma…” he said quietly — of course getting back to chopping onions because Chuseok meals waited for no touching revelation — “And you...don’t have any questions? It’s okay if you do. I owe you that much for intending to lie.”

 JUN: 

Eomma went quiet for a moment, but her hands didn’t stop. The knife banged against the cutting board as she sliced up the cucumbers, her movements quick and even. Jun watched, but those hands did not hesitate. Eomma did not seem to be uncomfortable either-- just focused on her task. Though he would be the first to admit that there was more he didn’t know about his parents. After all, he hadn’t known this! He’d foolishly kept a secret he didn’t need to keep. All this time, thinking he was protecting the Moons-- yah, what good was his gesture now? 

Though he wondered. About Abeoji. What about Abeoji? 

Eomma glanced at Jun first, probably sensing the loudness of such thoughts, but then smiled at Mu-yeol. 

“Eh, only if you want to share. I’ve lived in this town too long, I know such things are sensitive. It’s best to be polite.” 

Jun’s cheeks heated, hearing the lecture for him in it.

“Though--” she paused again, dropping her eyes. She tried to sound casual. “Can all fairies do that? What you did for Junnie? Is that why you look so young?” 

MARLIN:

That was the one thing about Korean human culture that really, truly, clashed with fairy culture. The whole ‘don’t ask about anything’ thing. He gave her permission, with his previous statement, and was incredibly thankful she did bite the bait, if only nibbled at it.

He chuckled low in his throat and got back to cutting vegetables, albeit slowly, before Eun-jung scolded him for just being a decoration in her kitchen.

“Not all fairies, only fairies like me. We’re all born with what we call Talents, and that’s our magic. Mine is healing, just like my youngest brother and one of my grandfathers. My parents were - are, they’re still alive - a Scout talent and Pixie Dust talent. Which means my father helps protect the Hollow, and my mother harvests and maintains the pixie dust supply for the whole Hollow. I look so young because once we hit about twenty-five we age slower than humans; a fairy’s lifespan is generally 150-200 years. Our Hollow Queen or King lives for centuries. My father is 103 and my mother is 75.”

Mu-yeol awkwardly cleared his throat. “Sorry. That was probably a lot.”

 JUN: 

Yah, talk about overexplaining. Though Jun only thought that because he was so used to underexplaining-- to excuses and hand-waving and looking the other direction. All such things became habits and habits were hard to break, even when there was no reason to keep them now. He saw the same behavior in his Eomma-- as she blinked and looked uncertain as to react to any of that. 

He wondered if she was thinking about Abeoji. 

Jun was thinking about Abeoji. 

Jun was thinking about how he had begged Mu-yeol to do something, and Mu-yeol said that he could not. It was hopeless, of course it was, and it was not Mu-yeol’s fault, but bitterness filled Jun anyway as his hyung spoke of living so long after healing Jun’s hand like it was nothing. Why did some creatures get such blessings when humans were forced to labor for the mere handful of years? Abeoji had only been sixty-one. Sixty-one. And he was gone. 

After a brief pause, Eomma nodded as though no such pause occurred. “Ahhh, I know about talents, of course. I did not know they weren’t all-- I though it was all in nature and we could get you to help our tomatoes grow.” Her eyes twinkled, all in jest. “But healing, yah, that’s very important. You must be so respected.” 

MARLIN:

Mu-yeol had already unloaded on Jun how very much not respected the Baes were in the Hollow, so he wasn’t sure how to answer Eun-jung. 

“At the clinic I am.” He didn’t lie because that was true. 

This was Eun-jung’s first Chuseok without her husband. He wouldn’t depress her by telling her about why outside of the clinic he and Nemo were a little...not everyone’s favorite. 

“Talents are unpredictable. None of my siblings have the same as my parents. But, Nemo is the same as his mother was. It just depends. On what, I’m not sure.”

JUN:

Jun was still watching his eomma as if she might transform in a moment-- turn from the sweet woman he knew that she was into the woman who ripped the covers off the bed and started shouting at her children if they stayed asleep for too long.

But of course Eomma didn’t. Why would she yell at Mu-yeol? There was no reason to yell at Mu-yeol. They were very different people, his eomma and his hyung, and yet it seemed there was enough similar between them that they both wanted-- to be kind to each other, to forgive each other for the things they might disagree on. 

It made Jun’s heart felt so soft and tender. He rubbed at his chest. Maybe it was just heartburn. 

“Ooooooh, I see. Well, that’s children for you anyway. Junnie takes after Appa, doesn’t he?” she smiled at Jun and turned Jun’s whole face red.

Jun sucked his teeth as if he were disagreeing.

“Who knows why they do? Eh, Junnie, start rolling these.” 

Jun had no choice to come forward to arrange the gimbap. 

Eomma turned to face Mu-yeol then-- and her face looked much more serious. “Mu-yeol ssi, I do hope… I think-- I am sorry,” she finally settled on. She bowed her head slightly. “If you felt that our family would not welcome yours if we knew about your heritage. I think, when we were younger… Yoon-seok and I, there was a lot we didn’t know how to talk about. There’s still so much. But I hope you will still feel safe here.”

[wakandascrystal]

Ｆｏｏｌｉｓｈ

T'Challa x Black Reader

Summary: T'Challa has been neglecting you for the longest time. You find out why?

A/N - Hi 🌸. Did you miss me?  Cause I missed you. Anyway. Work,school and my personal life have made it their personal mission to stress me out so I don’t enjoy my one true love …BlackPanther FanFiction. But my cousin lent me her laptop and I was able to put this fic together before she needed it back. sorry for any mistakes Enjoy

“Did you see how Yolanda was looking at Tepho…they are definitely seeing each other." 

You waited for a response from T'Challa. 

Nothing, but never the less you carried on.

"I’m glad they spoke with each other about their feelings. Love is so exciting don’t you think?”

He said nothing. 

He probably wanted to be alone and you were there, gossiping away about the servants who everyone knew where hooking up.

You sat up from the leather seats in his office to give him space. Even the stretching of the leather against your body made you cringe. You didn’t want to disturb him. He looked like he needed silence. His eyes were focused on the notes he was writing. The pen gliding on the page. You quickly said farewell and left him alone. He didn’t respond.

As soon as you left, closing the door behind you. Your heart sunk. You didn’t know why he was giving you the cold shoulder. Ever since you came back from the women’s conference in Brazil. He has been less talkative and less himself. N'Jadaka noticed as well. 

He thought he had food poisoning cause there is was no way he could be genuinely mad at you. You didn’t do anything. You know you didn’t. But you were too afraid to ask. So you just carried on being a good wife. 

It was 6:30 PM and everyone was waiting on the king so they could start eating dinner. The Queen, N'Jadaka, his wife Aaliyah,  Okoye ,W'Kabi and Bucky. Shuri was too busy in her lab to come join.

“Man I’m hungry are you going to call his ass down here or what?“

You really didn’t want to. You felt like a nursence to him all ready. You didn’t want to face him. Well not alone anyway.

“…Maybe we can start …without him.“  Aaliyah rolled her eyes.

“Sweetheart. We can’t eat without him if he is in the palace. He is the king. He needs to start the meal.“ She had pleading eyes since you had kept her up to date with what was happening in your relationship with Thcalla and she with hers with N'Jadaka.

“Okay I will request his presence.“ The lack of excitement in your voice didn’t sit well with the Queen.

“Stay put my dear I will go speak with my son.“ It felt like a wave of relief washed over you. You couldn’t believe how happy you were to be saved from talking to your own husband. You hated the feeling but you were glad to see Romanda’s white crystal train from her dress follow her out the door. 

“So how long is he going to act like a child.“  Aaliyah whispered into your ear.

“His behavior worries me more then anything. I’m trying to not take it personally.“

“Your husband has not touch, kissed, fucked or barely spoken to you in 2 weeks and your choosing to not take it personally.“

You repeat her whole question in your mind, breaking it up in halves so you could understand her sarcasm.

“Yes…Yes i am…. shhh.. there he is…“ You shushed her like a schoolgirl when they entered. T’challa looked tired and used. The difference between the Queen and her son was clear. Her head was up when she walked unlike Tchalla, his head was low and he seemed uncertain with him movements. You hated how he carried himself. One of the reason you fall for him was his confidence, you had to speak to him. For once since coming back you had to talk about his behavior.

After a long and an uneventful meal everyone left for their rooms. Aaliyah and N'Jadaka left hand in hand, Queen Romanda , Okoye, Bucky and W'Kabi left the reigning King and Queen in the Royal dining hall. The silence was unbearable and you think you only felt it. 

“Tchalla“ you called out to him and he didn’t respond.

“I’m leaving in 3 days“ He said it in a low voice you barely heard him.

“3 days. Where are you going?“ 

“…Nigeria. For a short while. It will be a days trip.“ He said nothing more. He pushed himself out of the golden table and walked away. Normally he would pull your chair out for you and walk with your to your room but not anymore. The 8 guards who surrounded the hall stood still, backs up against wall as you stared at nothing wondering where your marriage went wrong. 1 hour past and you were still in the same position, that was more than enough time for you to collect yourself. 

You started your nightly routine. A hot shower, hair care, skin care, a glass of water, 2 chapters of your favorite book then some needed sleep. It went smoothly since T'challa wasn’t there. To your knowledge he was in his office doing lord knows what. You wanted to be asleep before he come back so you would face him. later you learnt you had rushed yourself over nothing. He didn’t come back until later into the night. Your eyes had been sealed shut around 10 and he joined you at 2 o'clock in the morning. To make matters worse he woke up and left before you woke up so you didn’t even get to see him.

A week later you and Aaliyah had to meet up with the Women’s league of Wakanda, just North of the capital. You said nothing to her the whole trip there. You couldn’t even enjoy the beautiful mountainous landscape and waterfalls that laid under the aircraft. You were to busy trying to figure out what is making T'challa neglect you.

Somehow you make it through the event, you remember nothing and no one. Aaliyah does you the biggest favor and doesn’t speak about it. Not even once. you wished you could reward her for that.

When the the aircraft lands back home at the palace. No one is waiting for you Just N'Jadaka waiting to walk his lovely wife back inside. Tears threatening to fall. You could feel them. They pulled your energy down and as well as your soul. You wounded the halls of the palace not sure where to go. Your biggest fear at that moment was not death or anything else but it was running into your husband. You hated how he made you feel. overnight he went from being the most loving and accommodating husband to an unfriendly man. The worst part is you didn’t know why. You wish he would tell you because you would fix it.

You would. You would do anything to go back to how things were.

You run into Queen Ramonda in the east wing halls. She had 2 workers behind her. They seemed to be moving furniture.

“Oh Y/N the person i wanted to see. Please meet me in the garden ,I will join you shortly.“ You gave her a weak smile and started making your way to the Queens garden. When you get there you meet another 2 female workers preparing tea and scones. they left when you arrive. The enclosed garden is filled with roses and sunflowers. Your favorite, lilies and other wildflowers as well. You feel the Queen’s hand on you shoulder moments later.

“You seem deep in thought my dear.” You offer her that weak smile again. “It’s been a long week” You confess. “Have some tea.” She poured you a cup and you both took sips at the same time.

“You should talk to him.“ You almost spat your tea out. Romanda was the last person you wanted to know you and Tchalla were going through something.

“How did you know?“ She took another sip

“I think you forget I was married to an Udaku Man-“ She smirks “-and i’m not an idiot. Something is going on and you need to fix it before it becomes serious.”

“Iv tried so many times he just shuts me out. You know he barely comes home at night. He stays in that study of his all the time. I believe he stays there to avoid me.“ You couldn’t look at her. She was so beautiful and graceful that you felt so foolish sharing your problems.

“I really love your son..but I dont think he loves me anymore. I’m afraid to say“ You felt her hand on your knee. You could see she really cared about you and your worries. She was your mother. She cared like one and loved like one.

“My son is a lot of things Y/N but he is not an stupid…..I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything that would jeopardize your relationship. I will never forget how he cried when he first saw you in your wedding dress. Hmm?“ She pulled a small cloth out and wiped your tears. “…I know for a fact that golden dress wasn’t the reason he got emotional.“ 

“Go talk to him. Go now my child.“ She helped you up and walked you to the entrance of his office from her garden. You felt empowered, she made you feel like that.

You walked in alone without knocking. Tchalla was on the brown leather couch on the other side of the office. His back faced you as you marched to him. He looked busy and you didn’t. For once you didn’t mind disrupting his focus on something. You didn’t feel guilty or out of line, you were ready to giving him the reality of your relationship. 

“T'challa Udaku !“ He didn’t stop paging through the loose papers on his wooden table.

“Udaku!” you raised your voice this time but getting nothing from the King.

“I didn’t take your last name just so you would ignore me like this.“ 

“Is there something you need from me Y/N, I am busy at the moment.“

The rage was red and hot. It bubbled from the bottom of stomach upwards. You felt hot and angry. You were ready to fight him but you knew you wouldn’t win. He was the black panther. He could hear you heart rate beat faster as you clenched and unclenched you fists. In a quicky movement you pulled all the papers he was working with and the scattered them in one movement away from him on to the floor. He was shocked. This was not your typical behaviour. You were calm and polite never savage and rude but he was making you like this. What exactly did he expect.

He wanted to see what you were going to do next, you didn’t want him to move away from you like he was starting to do so you straddled him. Throwing you thigh over his lap. 

“Why have you been ignoring me?!“ You looked into his eyes. He tried to push you off . You didn’t want to fail this time. So many times you tried to talk to him and get to the bottom of this mess and you failed but right was not going to be a repeat of that.

“Y/N get off me.“ He warned 

“Im sorry but I have to reject that request.“

“It was not a requested more a command.“ His voice was deep and he sounded annoyed.

“The only way. I’m going to getting off your lap is if Okoye,your personal guard takes me off you, which is impossible because she is arranging everything for you visit to Nigeria…or just throw me off yourself.“ He licked his lips as he tolerated your mischief.

“I guess you leave me no choice.“ His hands snake to your waist and you felt him began to lift you. You didn’t want to move. you wanted to stay on him. You started to panic, fearing going back to what ever your marriage was at this point. 

In a bold move you planted your lips on his. The cherry gloss you had acted as lubricant so you could make the kiss deeper. You were certain he was going to reject you. You didn’t know how you would have dealt with that type of rejection from your own husband. You had dug your own grave but somehow, some way he didn’t push you away but pulled you closer.

It was as if he missed your touch. Like he wanted the moment to last. This confused you. The need he was showing confused you. The way his large hands held on to your hips and back confused you. why would he act like you don’t exist if his body still wanted you, if it still responded to you. The sounds of sucking and lips smacking made you feel good. The sound of progress… that until he pulled you abruptly away. Eyes dark with his graze. He looked angry

“Get off me.“ That was his 100% dont messy with right voice. You knew it. very well. He had used it with Erik a while back when he tried to steal the country and with some of the Avengers.

“I’m tired of your shit. It’s been a mouth and we haven’t had a simple conversation. Your acting like a baby …your scaring me…your embarrassing me. Every single person in this palace thinks i’ve done something to anger you, when i’ve done nothing. Your punishing me for nothing! I have DONE NOTHING!“ 

You got of his lap before you started yelling. You dont ever remember raising your voice this much at Tchalla before. Never. 

He just sat there and took it. Waiting for you to finish.

“Nothing? You did nothing?“ He asked you in a low voice, laced with sarcasm.

You didn’t answer. Just staring at him.

“….What was his name?“ 

“Who?“ you answered impolitely

“Y/N ….I was minding my own business, getting some important things done-“ You cut him off “Is our….dying relationship not important?“

“That is not what I meant.“

“Then what did you mean …my King?“

“..Maybe if you let me finish you would know?”

You stepped closer to him when he stood up. You needed to show him you weren’t afraid.  Even though he towered of you. You needed to face him head on. 

“I asked you a question. What was his name?“ 

“I’m going to the king to be more specific?“ You crossed your arms 

“…The man you fucked in Brazil“

You step back from, your face fall as your brain tried to understand what he just said.

“What the fuck are you saying. I was alone. The whole trip. Why the hell would I sleep with someone else? “

“Then explain this?“ he held up his writs to his Kimoyo beads. The screen lit up and he proceeded to show you a video. 

You could see the door of the hotel room being open. Who ever took this video must have snuck past the 3 guards that were supposed to be on duty that night. 

Fear struck in to your heart when you finally realized what Tchala had seen.You looked up at his face, he was starting at the screen. You wanted to stop the video and explain. You wanted the room to cave in and take you away from this. You didn’t mean for this to get to him. You bit your lip and carried on watching.

The person who was filming, opened the your bedroom door slowly. At that moment your moans could be heard. They where high pitched and needy. They were weak but clearly audible. All the frame shot was your brown leg on one of the big white pillows and the messy bedding and then it come to its ending. Your heart stopped. You deemed yourself lucky that that was all that could be seen. You wanted to run away from him and not have to deal with his eyes.

“I can explain..“

“Go ahead.“

“”Tchalla I was lonely…I was there for 3 weeks..without you. I missed you so much. This is so embarrassing…….I wanted you to be there with me. You know this…. It was one time Tchalla. “

“Do you hear yourself Y/N? You cheated on me and you - “

“Wait….cheated. Tchalla Im so confused. You have been treating me like this all this time cause you think I cheated on you.“

“Then what is this-“

“OMG T'CHALLA I WAS TOUCHING MYSELF …AND THAT IS A SHADOW FROM THE BIG PILLOW NOT A PERSON…OR A MAN!!….DID YOU THINK I WAS WITH SOMEONE ELSE???“ your eyes were about to pop out because of this man. He really was pushing it

“what was i -“ Tchalla tries to defend himself.

“No! You Don’t get to speak. This whole time your been keeping me out and shouting me out cause of this. Tchalla Im lucky this didn’t get in the hands of someone who would have uploaded it. I’m the Queen for Gods sake…. that would have destroyed me.“

You were so relieved to finally know why he was actually mad at you but you were also mad at him. Why didn’t he just ask you the day you got home?

“Calm yourself My Queen“ He went to pour himself a glass of whisky ..leaving your side. He had a smile on his face. You missed it. T'challa was happy to know you actually weren’t unfaithful. You missed him calling you his Queen but you couldn’t show him that, you were angry at your King.

“So…“ He took a small sip “….You were touching yourself.” He was back to his cocky self…you were not ready for that right now. 

“I’m leaving …have a safe trip to Nigeria.“ You turned to leave him but he reached for your waist just in time.

“Don’t you think we need to talk…about the video.“ He was teasing you.

“No i’m not going to talk….“ You teased back. You weren’t sure if everything was back to normal or not .You were really hoping he wasnt mad anymore. He had no reason to be.

You gave him a small kiss to get his attention. “Did you really think I was with someone else?” he didn’t say anything just giving you disappointed look.

“You owe me a vacation for this.“

“I’m really sorry my Queen..We can go wherever you want.“

“Okay.“ You wanted to ask him what would make him think you would step out. More questions piled on in your mind and he could see you were over thinking. Tchalla felt bad, he really did. He was just very bad at showing his true emotions … if they made him feel vulnerable. 

“Who took that video. I’m so mad. That was an invasion of my privacy”

“Don’t worry. She was reprimanded for her actions…and the guard who were supposed to keep you safe.“

“You didn’t kill them did you?“ 

“I should of. That could have been a crazy person who wanted to hurt you…when you were busy…pleasing yourself.“

“Fuck it Tchalla, Im out.“ You had never seen him smile so much. You loved it. 

“I’ll see you at dinner.“ You gave him another kiss on his lips before leaving him. when the doors to his study closed shut, you sent him a message on your Kimoyo beads.

“Don’t ever scare me like that“

[pllandcompany]

You GUYS. Sanders Sides Ice Skating AU? Sanders Sides Ice Skating AU.

Do I know anything about ice skating? Nope. Am I gonna write about it anyway? Absolutely. Google is a thing, right?

(please don’t ask me what possessed me to come up with this, the answer i don’t know, just let me be great)

Warnings: talk of injuries, performance anxiety, mention of illegal/dangerous performance enhancing practices, disordered eating/body image issues, past minor character death. illness mention, deceit is included in this

Also, just to be clear, the boys all train together on the same team. Under a cut because this 100% ran away from me.

Logan:

at 24, he’s considered to be what the team lovingly calls a lifer, meaning that skating is all he knows and all he’s ever done since he was born

truth be told, his former NBA cheerleader mother and NFL coach father forced him into several sports when he was small and this was the only one he showed any potential in

spoiler alert: they’re not thrilled that this was the only one he was good at

but they wanted their son to be an athlete so skating it is

fairly well known but doesn’t even acknowledge his own fame

known around the arena for being sort of intense and standoffish leading to him not always being well-liked

also weirdly brilliant? he frequently goes on rants about the physics behind skating that never fail to shock his teammates

despite being a frequent silver/gold medalist, Logan always felt like his parents were constantly disappointed in him so he vowed to train so hard that he would make his first Olympics by age 18

he missed his goal by one tenth of a point and had to wait until 22 to qualify again

also his parents didn’t even attend the competition where he qualified

it doesn’t bother him one bit (just kidding, he is Bothered)

very rigid with his diet and training regimen, sometimes to an unhealthy level depending on how well he believes he’s performing (roman and patton are Very Worried sometimes)

struggles with his height and wingspan, at 6′0 he’s tall for a skater and somewhat lanky which makes certain technical elements difficult for him 

only at first though, when he meets a challenge, it becomes his ultimate goal to master it

ever the perfectionist, he will practice until he nearly collapses and often has to be dragged off the ice and forced to stop obsessing

(the occasional lack of adequate nutrition and/or hydration doesn’t have anything to do with him collapsing. nope. he’s fine.)

his technique is mostly impeccable but he’s a cerebral skater; often criticized for visibly “thinking” while skating and not emoting much

Roman:

23, total prodigy skater, also a lifer

both parents were Olympic skaters; they were actually part of two separate pairs when they met and quickly became both life and work partners

now Roman’s father coaches their team and his mother acts as his manager

very charismatic and magnetic, quickly became a public figure after his second Olympic gold medal

his mother takes every advantage of her son’s charm, constantly signing him up for guest roles and talk shows and commercials without consulting him first

he loves the attention though

sometimes

sometimes he just wants to skate

Roman’s father isn’t as impressed with his antics; he’s constantly on him to stay focused 

the other teammates either genuinely love him or they love him in person and gossip about him in secret

he knows some of their adoration is fake but it’s fine, he doesn’t care what they think (he cares a great deal)

5′8 but very muscular, especially in his legs and shoulders 

has been criticized for his broader body type but he doesn’t care; he loves that he’s Thicc

judges still love him though, he’s a very powerful skater, his jumps are explosive and very accurate and he’s always very connected to the music

he’s always looking for the next challenge, the next risky move or flashy element

at times he can be hard on himself to always outdo his last performance which has cost him his physical health at times; he spent the year leading up to his second Olympics battling a knee injury that almost sidelined him

he and Logan have a friendly/unfriendly competition going on as they tend to consistently trade places with each other for 1st and 2nd place on the podium

Virgil:

21, a newer addition to the team

wicked talented, possibly even more so than Roman

ask him though and he’d tell you he’s the worst one in the rink (which infuriates Logan considering Virgil achieved the very goal he couldn’t)

has severe performance anxiety and will often panic so much before competition that he’s physically sick

5′6 with a slight build; can jump wicked high and very clean lines

his teammates call him the Shrimp because of how short he is

(roman used to call him that too until he found out how much Virgil hated the nickname)

raised by a single parent, his mother worked three jobs so she could afford skating lessons and new boots as he grew

qualified for his first Olympics at just 18, won bronze and a sponsorship that finally took the pressure off his mother

now he wants gold but not for himself

his mother was diagnosed with cancer and the treatments are very expensive on top of the financial demands of his career

he knows if he makes more money, he can provide for her the way she provided for him

when he skates, it’s either damn near flawless or a shaky, inconsistent mess, there is no in-between

fortunately there are people around him to help his anxiety and keep him focused

like

Patton:

25; came to the arena shortly after Logan but unlike Lo was very quickly accepted

he loves everybody

everybody loves him

the other teammates call him Old Man, Dad, or Papa Patton because he’s always looking out for everyone

whether it’s making sure they stay hydrated or nourished or telling them to rest when they need to, he’s always looking out for his skate family

5′9 and somewhat muscular but still lean

not the most technically consistent skater but always receives high praise for his performance and artistry

one of the few skaters who actually loves the dance classes they attend and really gets into them (this confuses Logan greatly)

came to competitive skating a bit later in life, took more time to train and test than average

despite his age and experience, he actually has the least amount of medals among the four and has yet to win Olympic gold

is seemingly unbothered by that fact (this confuses Roman greatly)

also never appears to be nervous or stressed about competitions (this confuses Virgil greatly)

when asked about his calm and cheerful demeanor even in the face of disappointment (by Roman) 

or his ability to display every emotion in the music so readily on his face (by Logan) 

or how he manages not to puke for hours before a big skate (by Virgil), he answers with this

when he was nine, both of his parents were killed by a drunk driver on their way to see him skate

he almost quit skating after that happened

(if he’s honest, he almost quit everything after that happened)

but after the grief settled slightly, he made a promise to himself that no matter what, every time he stepped on the ice, he would skate for them

every turn, every spin, even every practice session is for them and whatever happens doesn’t matter because he knows that his family is watching over him and they are so proud

having discovered a new level of respect for their teammate, the others find themselves complaining much less around him now

Deceit (known as Dimitri):

22, not a member of Roman’s dad club, of Russian descent but skates for Team Canada 

started showing up in competitions shortly after Virgil joined the team

immediately started crushing everybody, knocking Roman and Logan down to silver or bronze and Virgil and Patton off the podium completely

5′8 and the ideal build for a figure skater, judges go nuts over his lines and speed

deadly accurate jumper

the dude honestly seems almost perfect

Roman is Frustrated. Logan is Jealous. Virgil and Patton are Suspicious.

it’s Patton who finds out the chink in Dimitri’s sequined armor

he’s been blood doping for months in secret

but not for selfish reasons

he too was orphaned at a young age but unlike Patton, he was not the only child left behind

he has a sister and two brothers who he is the primary caretaker of

and almost every penny he earns is spent on their schooling, their healthcare, their overall well-being

he has to be the best in order for their family to survive

which is why Patton is sworn to secrecy

if this got out, he’d be done and so would his three siblings

Patton is Very Worried because doping is hella dangerous

but Dimitri will be fine

right?

I’m sure this has been done before but I don’t care, I’m in love with this concept and I can’t wait to write more.

Tagged: @ziallwarrior @apologieslogan @logansmolbean @crofters-jam @asylia5911 @ab-artist @band-be-boss-blog @unbefuckinglieveable @flyingfreeyt @thecatchat @thefallendog @backatthebein

[lonelypond]

Moonlight Becomes You: Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 7

Love Live, Love Live Sunshine, YohaMaru, NozoEli, NicoMaki, KanaMari, 3.7K, 7/?

Summary: We get a reunion and You finds herself very unpopular with at least two generations of Nishikino women.

You vs. The Nishikinos

You’s phone exploded in her pocket. Nishikino glared, which was nothing new. They had been in the ER for all of ten minutes waiting for the okay to talk to someone while Dia was being examined and You felt as scorched as a probe crashing into the sun from the intensity of the redhead’s dislike. It was Kanan’s bubble tone so You had to look.

K: DON’T LET MAKI TALK TO THAT WOMAN. yoshiko pulled her out of time and dumped her in the pool and she’s Maki’s DAUGHTER.

“Christ. For real?” You muttered, then raised a challenging eyebrow at Maki’s scrutiny. Eye roll and shrug and adjusting the drying t-shirt was the only response You got. They both should have changed into drier clothes, but no, emergencies never let you do neat things like that. And Yoshiko was always an emergency.

Y: What am I supposed to do?

K; <(*- -*)> just keep Maki away; Yoshiko’s on her way.

Y: You know I hate pulling rank.

K: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Y: All right. Yoshiko better hurry.

“Maki? You?” A familiar voice startled You, who whirled to meet the curious stare of her go to contact in the medical world, Dr. Nishikino....Nishikino...ugh…

“Hi, Doc.” You waved, feeling even more incredibly underdressed, especially compared to the silky, black and white feathery patterned dress Dr. Nishikino had under her lab coat.

“I couldn’t believe it when the Admissions clerk paged me that you both were here.” Dr. Nishikino hugged the redhead, who shuffled awkwardly in her grasp, “It’s good to see you, Maki. Is something wrong?”

“No, Momma, I’m okay,” Maki shrugged off the hug, “We rescued a woman from the pool at the Ohara OceanView and she might have hit her head. Her ID’s some weird holographic thing from Japan so I thought I could translate…”

Maki’s mom crossed her arms, thinking for a minute, then turned to You, frowning, “Is she in protective custody?”

“You’re a cop?” Maki’s disbelief echoed in the hall.

You made huge, urgent shushing gestures with both her arms, “Undercover. Did you forget, Dr. Nishikino?”

“Sorry. I’m sure Maki understands confidentiality. Is this woman one of the…”

“One of the what?” Maki interjected quickly.

You coughed, “I’d rather not say.”

Maki threw a hand up and kicked the wall behind her, “What is this, another...cryptid? How many are there in LA?”

“How did you…” You and Dr. Nishikino both interjected, instinctively stepped forward, crowding Maki, whose scrunched up expression seemed about to explode as a rant.

The non redheads exchanged a worried glance, then the doctor spoke, her hand on her daughter’s shoulder, “Maki, maybe we should go in my office and talk privately.”

Maki turned, sullen, arms crossed, one finger twisting in her hair, wanting to be anywhere but here. With Nico. But that wasn’t happening. Instead, she was here with her mother and this short, infuriatingly cheerful COP, waiting for permission to talk to some mysterious Japanese traveller. And Nico was with Eli.

You did some impressively fast mental relationship math, mother, grandmother, probably both time travel no gos. “I think it’s best if neither of you talk to her. I’m waiting for my colleague to arrive. Ms. Tsushima should have more information.” You looked pleadingly at Dr. Nishikino, her most polished really I wish I could help but half smile quirked in place.

A sigh and then agreement, “We can wait in my office until she gets here. And you can help me answer Maki’s questions.”

As You caught the flare of contempt in Maki’s amethyst eyes, she found herself wondering how much worse the day could get, and how complicated the questions would be. But there would be coffee and if there were coffee, You could keep treading water.

###

Eli stepped out of the room, leaving Nico to F U S S over the choices from the Ohara On The Beach boutique. All with corporate branding, of course, which just really ticked off Nico. Eli was pretty sure if Nico found a Sharpie somewhere, Ohara would get X’ed out of existence, at least everywhere it touched Yazawa skin. So Nico was in major bitch mode, and although the phrases blonde and rich and pushy and touchy and heiress were all strung together, Eli thought she was probably the blonde at the root of Nico’s frustration. As upended and confusing as Eli’s life was right now, without Nico’s willingness to be there, things would be much much worse. Eli had to find a way to let Nico how much that meant to her. More urgently, Eli had to find a way to get these seemingly random transformations under control. Then they could both have their lives back and Nico could spend time with her feral dj. Eli felt the corner of her lip twist up a bit in a dry snarl. She was feeling so much more territorial. With a shake, she closed the door behind her, and Nico’s rapid fire complaining quieted.

“The little one isn’t a fan.” Mari giggled.

Eli shrugged. She didn’t want to get caught in a discussion of Nico.

“Maybe your fortunes will change. My Tarot reader’s going to arrive any minute. She’s buono come il pane, never wrong, a true uranaishi.”

Tarot reader. That would be too small a world but before Eli could ask, the door opened, a high, amused voice lilted into the room.

“Your staff is whispering everywhere. Is there a celebrity in the house? Do they need a Tarot reading?” Eli recognized the giggle, “I could use a little celebrity magic.” Nozomi was wearing a blue green swing dress, light fabric, green shawl around her shoulders. Her eyes widened, “Eli?”

“You know each other?” Mari pounced from the couch, inserting herself in the middle of the conversation that was about to happen, “My staff never gossips about celebrities. We had a water rescue.”

“Is every one all right?” Nozomi’s concerned tone was so soft, so gentle Eli wanted to wrap it around herself like a blanket.

“Nico said they had to take the woman to the hospital, maybe a head injury.” Eli answered.

Nozomi frowned, “I hope she’ll be all right. Were you there, Eli? Is Nico here? Is this a party?”

“I’m ALWAYS a party, you know that, darling.” Mari dragged Eli and Nozomi to the table, “Read for the dancer, my friend, she needs a change of luck.”

Nozomi was staring and Eli couldn’t look away, the colors in Nozomi’s turquoise eyes were sea glass sliding mesmerizingly through the gentle rolls of a tidal pool.

And then Nico brayed as she charged back into the room, “Come on, Eli, let’s go someplace and find real food, Nico’s tired of fancy.”

Nico was in a ridiculously oversized white and blue Ohara On The Beach hoodie and the shortest of glittery short shorts.

“No, no, we’re all having our cards read.” Mari gestured for Nico to join them.

Nico’s eyes flitted suspiciously to Nozomi, her mouth narrowing, her tone accusatory. “You.”

“Hello again. Where’s your redheaded friend?” Nozomi was pulling a deck out of her bag, moving slowly as she tried to get a read on the room. So much tension. And why were Eli and Nico even here? Unless...Nozomi spun, hand touching Eli’s forearm, the blonde tensing, “You’re Kanan’s dancer.” Eli frowned and Nozomi reconsidered her words, “Kanan’s been saying how grateful she is to her” and Nozomi made sure to emphasize the next word, “collaborator who is so experienced in both ballet and Japanese culture.”

“Eli’s the best. Kanan’s lucky she’s available. Let’s get going.” Nico grabbed Eli’s other arm, ready to drag her out of this room. “Nico has to go shopping for dinner and we have to get home before moonrise.”

The room went silent.

Eli refused to move, Nico couldn’t budge her. Then suddenly, Eli’s arm was free and Nico’s nose was right off the tip of her own and Eli was being subjected to a level of suspicious scrutiny worthy of a cop who’d found an open container of alcohol in the car. Nico blew hot angry air in Eli’s face, causing mad blinking, and bit off a prediction, “It’s your funeral.” Nico pivoted, “Nice to see you again, Nozomi, not particularly nice to see you, Ohara, but Nico thanks you for the clothes.”

Mari giggled, “You, Bella, are a treasure.”

Nico gestured in a profoundly unfriendly fashion at Mari, hissed “be smart” at Eli, and marched toward the door.

Mari stretched her hands out and grinned at the two women left, “Now we can really have some fun.”

###

Maki’s phone went off as her mother was closing the door to the office. It was the tone she’d set for Nico, BoA’s ‘No Limit.’

N: Eli’s being really S T U P I D and Ohara got me these awful clothes but Nico’s bounced out of that loser scene and is on her way to see what we fished out of the pool.

“No” Maki exclaimed and then felt her mother right at her side.

“What’s wrong, Maki?”

Maki knowing she was bright red and for her mother that would be too much of a clue, shook her head, and ducked back out of the room before anyone could make eye contact with her. What could she say? Her mother would be far too interested in Nico...and You was still here...and...closing her eyes, trying to slow her panic into words, Maki composed a text in her head, then typed and sent before she could read it through.

M: Hey, Nico. The doctors have everything under control. You really don’t have to rush over here. It probably won’t be much longer.

There was a pause, no response, triggering Maki to frantically review what Nico had sent.

M: I’m sure the clothes look cute. No one will pay any attention to whatever’s wrong with them. I have to go. Dinner still okay?

N: -`д´-

M: (・・)

M: I really have to go. Sorry.

Maki stared at her phone for another minute but no response. She pocketed it and opened the door to face a familiar interrogation. Her mother was laughing at something You said, but her attention switched to her daughter instantly.

Dr. Nishikino leaned back in her chair, eyebrows up, an in no way innocent smile on her face as she asked. “Was that Rin? Aren’t you back in town early?”

You began to say something but at Maki’s glare clamped her mouth shut.

“No, Mama, it was a friend.”

“Oh, Nico? You was telling me how the three of you pulled our mystery Dia out of the pool.”

Dia was a nice name, Maki thought. How had she ended up in the pool and when was this other person going to show up? Maki slid into a chair, still glaring at You. A cop? What the hell was going on.

“Maki?”

Maki frowned at her mother, “What?”

“Was that Nico?”

Maki nodded. Maybe her mother would pick up on her mood and stop asking questions.

A buzzer went off, Maki’s mother picked up her phone, “Dr. Nishikino here...uh huh...thanks...we’ll be right there...has Kurosawa Dia been examined yet...waiting for a CAT scan...okay... put Tsushima in an open room and we’ll be right there.”

Maki stayed seated, her brain still sliding puzzle pieces into place, “No one’s explained anything.”

Her mother and You had risen and were heading for the door, her mother turned back, “What did you say, Maki?”

“You haven’t explained anything. Either of you. About the...cop” Maki pointed accusingly at You, “...or why you know each other...or why you don’t want me to talk to…”

“There’s nothing to explain.” You squared her shoulders. This was the moment to seize back control of the situation. To get everyone else OUT of the picture. Even if she was wearing her oldest, rattiest shorts. “Let’s call it protective custody. I have everything under control. You can just leave it to me.” Cue cheerful, competent smile.

You’s strategy failed. Her smile fizzled to a look of confusion as the still suspicious Maki stood, looming over her, “I don’t think so. Let’s go see this friend of yours together, right, Mama?”

Nishikinos always supported each other. Maki’s mother slid her arm through her daughter’s, unleashed her most professionally, unarguable flirty-charming smile at You, and led the way out the door, “Of course, dear.”

You followed with a groan.

###

Nico wasn’t going to kick her car. It was a good car. But she was going to sit inside it for a few minutes, ignoring everyone around her, while she stared at the phone she’d thrown in the passenger seat. Everyone was in a mood: Nico, Eli, and now Maki, who should be thrilled that Nico had free time and was going to use it to rush to her side and be helpful. But no, right now...Nico paused in her contemplation to yell, “SHUT YOUR HORN” at the driver urging her to pull out of her parking spot. Why was Maki so concerned about that swimmer anyway? Nico sighed, flipped off the person behind her, and considered. If it had just been her, Nico would have gone to the hospital. And Maki had been expecting them to go together. But Eli...Eli who had totally ignored Nico’s sacrifice when that overly bouncy Tarot reader swaggered in. Of course Ohara was friends with another...Nico groaned. Enough. This wasn’t about the people Nico had left behind. Eli could make her own choices, it was probably good for her. But Nico had to make her own choices as well: to go home and wait for Maki or to head to the hospital like she should have when the ambulance pulled out.

###

Yoshiko groaned inside her head. There it echoed, a counterpoint to the breathy giggles of Hanamaru in her ear as they travelled down the hospital corridor, Hanamaru bouncing on her back, heels digging into the curves of Yoshiko’s thighs.

“Zuramaru, we could just hold hands and you’d still be invisible.”

“Nope.” Yoshiko felt Hanamaru’s hair tickle her feathers as her wife and chief tormentor leaned forward to kiss behind her ear.

“Stop.” Yoshiko hissed as the shivers took over. More giggles. “This is serious.” Yoshiko winced as her voice squeaked. She stopped and released Hanamaru’s legs, the shorter woman sliding to the ground.

Hanamaru’s amber eyes were unusually serious. “I know. Yohane pulled this poor woman out of time and you didn’t even stop to explain…”

“I couldn’t, Zuramaru, I was about to set us down to talk when she yanked and then she was in the pool and then EVERYONE was in the pool and…”

“You could have talked to her BEFORE you flew her through Time, Yoshiko.” Hanamaru had never let Yoshiko squirrel out of anything.

“She wasn’t going to listen.” Yoshiko was getting all worked up, her arms flying out, her wings quivering. Hanamaru knew this corridor was too tight a space for a displaced celestial being trying to avoid hospital staffers in a state of high frustration so she pulled the angel into an empty room.

“You still need to ask before you pull people out of the timeline.” Hanamaru chided the impulsive beauty she’d first raced from the skies centuries ago. So often it seemed like only yesterday. “Consent.”

Yoshiko was pacing, dark wings fluttering, words flowing out at a rapid muttering, a shadow falling over the room as Yohane’s glory backlit Yoshiko’s lost purple eyes, “Yohane speaks and all must tremble.”

“Bull.” Hanamaru snapped off a verbal slap. Then she softened, “I know you’re scared, Yoshiko, but that poor woman…”

“Dia.”

“Dia, is 10,000 times as distressed as you might be. And from what Kanan said, might have a head injury. So we need to help her.” Hanamaru always sounded so reasonable when demanding impossible things, Yoshiko realized. For the 27,560th time.

Yoshiko paused, hands claws on the windowsill, mind full of what she’s seen and summoned when she’d used the scrying bowl to test Riko’s prophecy. The images of destruction and fire and chaos had been so strong the water had nearly boiled.

Hanamaru’s warm, gentle hand covered hers, calming the trembling, “That’s not our future, Yoshiko.”

“No.” Yoshiko hung her head for a moment and then with the full glory of a young filly kicking up onto her hind legs, mane flying, Yoshiko stood tall, her voice a resonant flood, “We will find our loyal ally, You, and then this newest demon will be comforted and…” Yohane paused and Yoshiko winked at Hanamaru, “ASKED to take on this glorious quest.”

Hanamaru nodded, assenting to this plan.

“But no more piggybacks.” Yohane announced.

“Aw…”

And Yoshiko was out the door before Hanamaru had a chance to charm.

###

Dia was alone when she woke up, and this hospital was not her family’s.  Such antiquated equipment. No sensor on her wrist, no holoscreen to track her vitals, no dedicated AidVox to summon a nurse. The tubing on the IV was thicker than she was used to and the fabric of her hospital gown coarse. At least the IV was on a rolling stand so she could move without ripping it out of her arm. As woozy as she felt, she probably needed the fluids. And where were her mothers? There was no way that both of them weren’t somewhere lecturing whoever had put her in this relic of a room and arranging for transportation to a more modern facility. She missed them suddenly. Had LA changed this much since her last visit? Dia rose out of the bed, leaning slightly on the pole, and shuffling to the window. So many more cars, and carbon criminal cars at that...was she on a movie set? Had Ruby decided to start playing jokes on her? Maybe it was the twins? They were still sulking that Dia and Tora had won the annual family beach volleyball tournament. Dia smiled at the memory; Vik sitting back in the sand, shock dropping her mouth open, as Dia’s spike skimmed between her reach and Teddy’s. They hadn’t pulled a serious prank in years, maybe they got Leah to help them? Or Sarah?

“Hi.” A soft voice came from behind Dia.

Nervous, Dia stiffened her shoulders and frowned, her voice a rebuke of the interloper’s rudeness. “Don’t people in Los Angeles knock.”

“Sorry.” There was a cough and the door closed, then Dia heard a quick, solid knock.

She almost laughed as she turned, “Come in.”

The short, fair haired woman, tanned, toned legs a bit too showcased in the shorts that should have been recycled several laundry cycles ago, stepped into the room again, her bright blue eyes merry to match the lopsided grin lighting up the room, “I’m Lieutenant Commander You Watanabe, Coast Guard Liasion to the LAPD and we have to talk fast.”

Prank was seeming more and more reasonable a guess, “Is that the new Coast Guard uniform?”

A pink blush dusted Watanabe’s cheeks and she ducked her head, “Sorry.” Then there was the bright merry blue again, “You dropped in without much warning.”

Dia’s fingers were itching. She wanted to grab a pillow or the IV stand and pound some answers out of this latest intruder in the orderly progress of her life. And then she froze as she heard two familiar voices moving closer outside in the hall.

“Of course the clothes look good, the clothes are on Nico. Nico makes everything look good.”

“Sure, sure, but I don’t have time for this. Where did she get to?”

“Who?”

“You.”

“Maki should be paying attention to Nico.”

A sigh, “Your clothes are fine. I’m sorry Mari turned you into a walking billboard…”

“Nico is taking this off right now.”

“You shouldn’t have taken the clothes anyway, Mari will use that as leverage now.”

“Leverage?”

“She’s been trying to get me to..it doesn’t matter...hey, stop that.”

“Maki thinks Nico should have refused the clothes and kept looking like debris washed up against the pier.’

“Don’t…leave that on...this is a hospital...” a scuffle, seemingly outside the door, some coughing. “Wait, does that mean you think I look like…”

Dia rushed the door, “Momma, Mama…”

She was stopped by You, who had an arm out, “Ms. Kurosawa, you can’t go out there. I need to explain a few things first.”

Dia drew herself up to her full height and glared, “Bzzztttt. How dare you. Am I under arrest? Drop your arm. Now.”

You stepped back, both hands up in the air, but still blocking the door. “You have to listen to me, this is a very difficult, dangerous situation, and your mothers don’t know who you are.”

Dia’s voice was a screech. “How do you know all this? How does this even happen?!?”

You closed her eyes. At least Dia had stopped moving toward the door. And You had felt the tingle of magic that meant Yoshiko had paused the universe outside this room. So she had a minute. “My friend pulled you out of Time. Your mothers haven’t started dating yet.” You ran a hand through her hair, “I know this sounds like the craziest thing you’ve ever heard, but please give Yoshiko a chance to explain.”

“Yoshiko?” Dia's mouth was open in a shout, her eyes angry.

The door open, and Yohane swept through, fully winged and incandescent.

Kurosawa Dia, rather than being cowed in the face of celestial glory, clenched her fists and strode forward, “You kidnapper...”

“Stay back mortal, lest Yohane’s power will…”

Dia’s punch crunched squarely into Yoshiko’s jaw.

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

Chapter 36: Burning Riddles

Becoming The Mask

It was weird, seeing Mr Strickler in Trollmarket.

Darci got that he was secretly a troll as well, like Jim or Not Enrique. But she was so used to only seeing him at school, and so used to not seeing other (supposed) humans in Trollmarket, that this felt like that time in second grade when she'd first seen a teacher at the grocery store. Or like seeing a lifeguard wearing clothes instead of a swimsuit.

"The Triumbric Stones," he said, unknowingly reiterating what Blinky had told them before Strickler arrived, "refer to three stones magically intertwined with Gunmar's life force. They can supposedly be forged together into the only weapon capable of slaying him. A troll scholar by the name of Bodus –"

"The Dishonorable Bodus," Blinky corrected. Strickler gave him the same look he gave students who interrupted him in class. Blinky, to whom Strickler could not assign detention, seemed unphased.

"The Dishonorable Bodus, then, discovered where these stones had been hidden. Naturally Gunmar's forces hunted down Bodus and his pupils and destroyed any copies we could find of his work. But here is where the scholar proved himself to be particularly clever. Rather than writing down the path to the Triumbric Stones directly, or even in cipher, he magically concealed a message within his Final Testament … a message which reveals itself when the book is burned."

Blinky and Jim both gasped, with very different facial expressions.

"Like how The Book of Ga-Huel can update itself?" Jim asked.

"Not quite. The Final Testament of Bodus is completely destroyed in the process, not merely altered. The message embeds itself into whichever surface on which the burning occurs."

"And how do you know this?" demanded Blinky, clutching a book to his chest with all four hands. "You stood idly by and allowed knowledge to be desecrated?"

"Obviously I was the one ordered to destroy the books. Only a deeply foolish Changeling would risk accusations of treason by reporting to a superior that they'd seen a way to destroy Gunmar."

Strickler and Jim both looked at the petrified severed head Toby had been poking at earlier. Darci wasn't sure if Strickler shuddered or he was just shaking himself to get back on topic.

"Defiler!" Blinky roard. Even AAARRRGGHH's gentle hug – oh, he was lifting Blinky right into the air, maybe he was actually holding him back from attacking – didn't calm him down. "Book burner! You – this is a grave injustice! A loss perhaps on par with the Library of Alexandria!"

It was not an appropriate moment to laugh. Darci, Mary, Claire, Toby, and Jim all made sounds of amusement anyway. Mr Strickler drew himself up and began the same speech he'd given them at the start of their unit on the Crusades.

"The loss of a centralized bastion of knowledge such as Alexandria was considerable. It was not as extreme as popularly portrayed. The majority of collected volumes were copies of books that existed elsewhere. The libraries of Islamic nations were vital in preserving ancient knowledge over the centuries –"

Jim cleared his throat. Blinky had settled, and AAARRRGGHH had set the smaller troll back on his feet. Strickler deflated.

"I took no pleasure in it, I assure you. Fortunately, the method of concealment meant it was not a security risk to transcribe the text into an unenchanted volume before destroying the originals."

"And the secret message?" said Mary. "I'm guessing that would've been a security risk to keep around."

"Indeed. But as it was thoughtfully composed in rhyme, it was a simple matter to memorize it." Strickler and Jim held weirdly-significant-feeling eye contact. "Entirely as a precaution. In the event that someone else found another copy, we would need to know what they learned."

"Of course," his fellow Changeling agreed.

"So what's the rhyme?" pressed Claire.

"In darkest tide, when daylight darest wane," Strickler recited, "the Myrddin Wylt obscured a shadow's bane. Three forces elemental thou must seek, in marshland, caverns deep, and mountain's peak. Where worthy perish, ye'll prevail in night, and eclipse all who quarry with thy might."

"Okay, I have several questions," said Toby. "One, after all that, it's still a riddle? Two, what's a medi-fred wench? Three, anyone else a little freaked out by this 'evil parish' we're forming?"

"That's not what he said, Tobes."

"Myrddin was one of the earlier recorded names of Merlin," said Strickler. "There has since been some speculation as to whether it was in fact a title, akin to, say, Archbishop, raising the possibility that the legends actually refer to several different men. After the Norman conquest of Britain in 1066, the nobility spoke French, and Merlin was renamed after the species of falcon. It was presumably difficult to take seriously a figure whose name was a false cognate of the invective merde."

Darci would not call herself fluent in French, but before and during her family's trip to Paris, she had learned enough of the language to laugh now. She hastily muffled it behind her hand, so all that got out was "Pffthmmhm!"

"Daylight probably refers to Jim's sword," said Claire. "Or, well, the Trollhunter's sword. You said that couldn't hurt him," speaking half to Jim, half to Blinky.

"Using fading sunlight symbolise loss of hope is more of a human thing," Jim agreed.

"And the next couplet, that's where the stones are hidden." Claire was starting to grin. "In marshland, caverns deep, and mountain's peak."

"So we just need to find out which marsh, cave and mountain these stones are in?" Darci hated to rain on Claire's parade, but … "Simple enough. That's only, oh, about a third of the world to search."

"We already have one, which means we can skip the caverns." Mr Strickler took his favourite pen out of his jacket and toyed with it. "The Janus Order … recovered Gunmar's Eye, some centuries ago."

For some reason he was looking over Blinky's shoulder at AAARRRGGHH. Was he scared of him? AAARRRGGHH could be intimidating if you didn't know what a sweetie he was. But Strickler hadn't seemed at all concerned when AAARRRGGHH escorted him into the library, and they'd been alone together then. Plus, AAARRRGGHH has been the one to hold Blinky back when Blinky was yelling at Strickler.

"We haven't been able to retrieve the Killstone or Birthstone, but I'm reasonably confident that the marshland Bodus refers to is the swamps of the Quagawumps. Gunmar unintentionally created the Killstone when he shattered their beloved Wumpa King – a sorcerer of great power."

"Like how Voldemort accidentally gave Harry the power to defeat him!" gasped Toby.

"This sounds more like a revenge curse," said Jim. "That explains a little. I mean, it's the one Triumbric Stone that was never physically part of him. Unless Gunmar ate the body and, uh, I'm gonna stop talking now."

Everyone grimaced.

"We should talk to Glug," said Mary. "She's a Quagawump, and she has family visit from the swamp sometimes. She might know if they have it. Or if she doesn't, she might know who to ask."

"I'm all for getting an insider crash-course in swamp troll etiquette before we actually go there," said Darci.

"The Quagawumps are indeed reputed to be unfriendly to outsiders," Blinky agreed. "An insider might be our best chance of getting in and out alive."

That was like a splash of ice water. Darci shivered.

"… If I frame it as avenging their Shattered King," said Jim, paging through the book on the Triumbric Stones that had been left open on the table, "and promise to give it back once Gunmar's dead, they'll probably agree to lend me the Killstone without making any other demands."

"You're gonna build a super-weapon and give part of it back?" Toby shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo."

"It's an artifact of historical, cultural, and possibly religious significance to the Quagawumps, and it's a body part from a possibly-vengeful dead sorcerer. Yes, I'm going to give it back."

Previous Chapter (The ‘Quest for Triumbric Stones’ storyline begins)

Table of Contents

Next Chapter (Jim and Barbara meet again)

Blinky learns most of what he knows about other troll cultures from the books in his library rather than talking to other trolls around the market. This is my justification for why Glug, Trollmarket's resident Quagawump, was not introduced until Season Three when she would've been really useful to have around in that one episode of Season Two. Luckily, in this timeline, the kids are in the habit of wandering Trollmarket and gossiping with the locals.

I know Toby actually asks if the others are also "a little freaked out by this 'evil perish' poem", but I misheard him saying "evil parish we're forming" the first time I watched it and decided to throw it into the fic.

Darci mentions in Season Three that her family has been to Paris.

A cognate is a word that sounds similar enough in multiple languages (usually because it traces back to a common root) that it can be understood by a person who only speaks one of the languages; like how 'idiot' in English and 'idiota' in Spanish are very obviously the same word. A false cognate is a word that sounds like something completely different in another language; like how 'embarazada' in Spanish sounds like it should translate to 'embarrassed' in English, but actually translates to 'pregnant'.

'Merde' is French for 'crap/shit'.

Horrible Histories – a series of books intended to get kids interested in history by presenting data in easily-read, entertaining format, and leaving in some of the gross parts – has a volume on Arthurian legends, which was where I got the bit about Merlin's name being speculated to have actually been a title held by a few different guys, and that the French were the ones to change it.

The book actually said the change was made by medieval French troubadours, who were also the ones to add in the Lancelot/Guinevere thing, but I decided that Strickler, as a history teacher, needed to date-drop the bit about William the Conqueror and the influence that using Norman French at court had on the English language.

It's got a lot of other cool stuff, like there being nine sisters who co-rule Avalon (Morgan and possibly Nimuë among them, other seven names unrecorded); and how Morgan le Fay got conflated with Morgause, the youngest of Arthur's three half-sisters; or the possibility that Guinevere marrying Arthur was actually what let him have the crown, due to how Celtic politics worked, and the scandal later in their marriage (Lancelot wasn't invented yet, but the Queen had other lovers) was because Arthur refused to step down for a younger, stronger warrior when Guinevere decided to pick a new king (as was her right), which got hushed up in Medieval times because it didn't fit the Catholic church's view of how marriage worked; or that the scabbard that came with Exalibur, when the Lady of the Lake gave it to Arthur, was enchanted so its wearer would never bleed, but the scabbard was later stolen.

[potterandpreferences]

Lost

Imagine you are Sirius' child, a child he knows nothing about until he's roaming the grounds as Padfoot and becomes your friend.

Dadfoot x Hufflepuff!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and depression

Part 1 | Part 2

***

You were in your fourth year at Hogwarts, and you couldn't wait to be in your last. When you found out you were a witch/wizard, you were hesitant to accept your position at Hogwarts. You didn't like changes and a boarding school would be a bloody big one. But the alternative sounded worse, so that September you found yourself starting your education in witchcraft and wizardry.

You found it difficult to make connections with your peers, and you found some of the classes too loud and busy. You felt anxious all the time, and it got to the point where you couldn't sleep in a shared dormitory. You needed a place to unwind and with four other people in the room, it was impossible to do so. They had tried to include you in their talks and antics at first, but you found it hard to open up to them and didn't want to prat around with glamours or sports.

It resulted in them excluding you from their little group. And that was ok, until the rumours started. They weren't anything nasty or malicious, but it became a fact that you were unfriendly and thought yourself above everyone else. Accordingly, the Weasley twins had played a couple of pranks but, having never fit in at home, they were quick to recognise you were just another lost muggleborn. You didn't think yourself superior, you just struggled to fit in. They left you alone after that. Besides, they never targeted you as an individual. It always involved a few others who were around. You knew though. You were the only person to consistently end up in the pranks that served to make your anxiety worse.

You made more of an effort to stay away from the rest of the students, and every time you returned to your dormitory, conversation would falter. It made you uncomfortable, and having gone to Madame Pomfrey for the fifth time in one week for a potion to keep you awake after a sleepless night, Professor Sprout was brought into the situation.

By the end of February, you had your own bedroom. That caused some more rumours and gossip amongst the Hufflepuff students, but Professor Sprout had asked the prefects to nip that in the bud. It was one more thing that isolated you, but being ignored was better than being a victim.

For the first three years at Hogwarts, you thought you were a muggleborn. The summer before your fourth year changed things. You had been in the kitchen at home, getting a glass of water, when you heard a crash in the living room. A shattered mug and spilled tea covered the hardwood and rug in front of your mum, whose hands were over her mouth in surprise as tears pricked her eyes.

You glanced at the telly, but there was just some report about a guy having escaped from prison and to call a set phone number if he was spotted. You could admit that the convict looked a little mad, there was a glint in his eyes that seemed to defy sanity, his hair was messy and unkempt and he looked starved, but there was nothing particularly remarkable. So you were shocked when your mum finally turned her attention to you as the report switched over to something else and she finally got out the reason behind her actions. "That was your father."

It wasn't until you returned to Hogwarts that you saw that face again, in the Daily Prophet. He looked even more insane and corpse-like in the moving photo, and it was through the tabloid that you found out why your dad was imprisoned. Your dad was a murderer.

Needless to say, you retreated to your room for the rest of the day. You thought about telling your mum about it, but you didn't want to worry her. How was she to know that a one-night stand years ago would end up becoming a criminal? Or that she'd end up pregnant and have said criminal's kid? No, you decided not to make her feel even worse about the situation. You could deal with it by yourself. No one knew, after all. Hell, even Sirius Black wouldn't know that he'd accidentally knocked some muggle up in his inebriated state 15 years before.

You pulled yourself together enough to go to lessons the next day. The students hardly cared and the three teachers you'd missed (Sprout, Hagrid and Flitwick) wouldn't mind. So you got up early enough to eat breakfast when the Great Hall was still relatively empty, and made your way to Defence Against The Dark Arts. You were there way too early, but you didn't mind. You were ready to face the day. You could do this.

_-_

You couldn't do it. When you're classes for the day had finished, you visited the kitchens to get a load of food before making your way out to the lake. You sat beneath a tree, hidden from view for the most part as the shadow cast by the forest loomed over you.

Your bag was set beside you but you didn't eat, instead you gazed out over the Black Lake, trying and failing to relax. It hadn't been a bad day as such. Sure, Professor Lupin had called on you for an answer that startled not only yourself but also everyone else in the class who were so used to you basically being invisible. That wasn't great, but you knew the answer. You would just have to study ahead of every lesson so you didn't embarrass yourself. You could do that.

Professor Snape left you alone; having multiple panic attacks in his lessons during first year was enough to have Pomfrey on his case. He backed off and you were an okay potioneer. You would never take it beyond your fifth year, but it wasn't bad. Well, the bits and pieces of insects and animals was a bit bad. It always left a bad taste in your mouth as you greatly preferred the company of animals to people.

Ancient runes was okay. You liked a quiet subject and the teacher just had the class doing independent translations to see what information had been retained over the summer. So overall, it was not a bad day.

Or at least, that's what you told yourself. You kept waiting for someone to yell about who your dad was. You kept waiting to be on the receiving end of a prank. You kept worrying that your dad would find out about you, hate that you existed, and kill you and your mum. In short, you had spent the day with an even tenser posture than normal - an impressive achievement.

How long you sat gazing at the lake was a mystery. What eventually broke your absent focus was a whining sound and the tentative padding of paws. Surprised, your glanced to your side and noticed a scruffy and emaciated dog creeping closer, tail tucked between his legs, nosing hopefully at your school bag.

You huffed a laugh, reaching into the bag to pull out a couple of sausages and bacon, carefully stopping the butter from the bread they were in from smearing all over your hands. You carefully handed the bits of meat over to the dog, hesitant to feed it too much unless you made it sick.

"What are you doing here, boy? You from the village?" You asked softly, unsure what to do with the animal. He had no collar and as far as you knew there was no magical equivalent to microchipping. The dog, for his part, merely flicked an ear to show he was listening but otherwise remained focused on the food in front of him. The small noises he made were adorable, and inspired a name that you could not resist. "I think I'll call you Snuffles until I find out your actual name."

That got the dog to look up. He had the most indignant expression you had ever seen on an animal before, and you burst out laughing. The release of tension was cathartic. You just couldn't stop. Snuffles managed to swipe the bread from your hands whilst you were distracted but you couldn't bring yourself to be angry about it.

"Oh, I don't think I've ever laughed like that here," you eventually said, wiping the tears away from your eyes. "I needed that. It's not like I'm ever happy here at Hogwarts, but finding out your father was in prison for blowing up a street and killing a group of people... never had a day quite that bad before. Not that anyone else knows," you rambled, oblivious to the sudden stillness of the dog next to you. You carried on chatting, mentioning everything you had found out since the summer when your mum saw your dad on the muggle news. You had absolutely no idea that the dog next to you was in fact Sirius Black.

As they say, ignorance is bliss. So you sat out by the Lake until the sun started to set. You quietly promised to bring more food to the dog tomorrow, receiving a lick on your hand for your efforts. You scratched behind his ears in farewell before setting off back to the castle. You considered the merits in mentioning the dog to Hagrid, but you kind of didn't want the dog to be shipped off elsewhere. Snuffles couldn't talk back, but he was a good companion. He didn't set your anxiety off like every other person in the school did. No, you decided that Snuffles would be your little secret. What harm could a starved dog do anyway?

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient book of Proverbs and book of Psalms

for September 18 of 2021 with Proverbs 18 and Psalm 18, accompanied by Psalm 91 for the 91st day of Astronomical Summer and Psalm 111 for day 261 of the year (now with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Proverbs 18]

[Wisdom Gives Life]

An unfriendly person isolates himself

and seems to care only about his own issues.

For his contempt of sound judgment makes him a recluse.

Senseless people find no pleasure in acquiring true wisdom,

for all they want to do is impress you with what they know.

An ungodly man is always cloaked with disgrace,

as dishonor and shame are his companions.

Words of wisdom are like a fresh, flowing brook—

like deep waters that spring forth from within,

bubbling up inside the one with understanding.

It is atrocious when judges show favor to the guilty

and deprive the innocent of justice.

A senseless man jumps headfirst into an argument;

he’s just asking for a beating for his reckless words.

A fool has a big mouth that only gets him into trouble,

and he’ll pay the price for what he says.

The words of a gossip merely reveal the wounds of his own soul,

and his slander penetrates into the innermost being.

The one who is too lazy to look for work

is the same one who wastes his life away.

The character of God is a tower of strength,

for the lovers of God delight to run into his heart

and be exalted on high.

The rich, in their conceit, imagine that their wealth

is enough to protect them.

It becomes their confidence in a day of trouble.

A man’s heart is the proudest when his downfall is nearest,

for he won’t see glory until the Lord sees humility.

Listen before you speak,

for to speak before you’ve heard the facts will bring humiliation.

The will to live sustains you when you’re sick,

but depression crushes courage and leaves you unable to cope.

The spiritually hungry are always ready to learn more,

for their hearts are eager to discover new truths.

Would you like to meet a very important person?

Take a generous gift.

It will do wonders to gain entrance into his presence.

There are two sides to every story.

The first one to speak sounds true until you hear the other side

and they set the record straight.

A coin toss resolves a dispute

and can put an argument to rest

between formidable opponents.

It is easier to conquer a strong city

than to win back a friend whom you’ve offended.

Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible to win them back.

Sharing words of wisdom is satisfying to your inner being.

It encourages you to know

that you’ve changed someone else’s life.

Your words are so powerful

that they will kill or give life,

and the talkative person will reap the consequences.

When a man finds a wife,

he has found a treasure!

For she is the gift of God to bring him joy and pleasure.

But the one who divorces a good woman

loses what is good from his house.

To choose an adulteress is both stupid and ungodly.

The poor plead for help from the rich,

but all they get in return is a harsh response.

Some friendships don’t last for long,

but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart

closer than any other!

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 18 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 18]

I Love You, Lord

A song to the Pure and Shining One by King David, his servant, composed when the Lord rescued David from all his many enemies, including from the brutality of Saul. He said:

I love you, Yahweh, and I’m bonded to you,

my strength!

Yahweh, you’re the bedrock beneath my feet,

my faith-fortress, my wonderful deliverer,

my God, my rock of rescue where none can reach me.

You’re the shield around me,

the mighty power that saves me,

and my high place.

All I need to do is to call on you,

Yahweh, the praiseworthy God.

When I do, I’m safe and sound in you—

delivered from my foes!

For when the cords of death wrapped around me

and torrents of destruction overwhelmed me,

taking me to death’s door,

in my distress I cried out to you, the delivering God,

and from your temple-throne you heard my troubled cry,

and my sobs went right into your heart.

The earth itself shivered and shook.

It reeled and rocked before him.

As the mountains trembled, they melted away,

for his anger was kindled on my behalf!

Fierce flames leapt from his mouth,

erupting with blazing, burning coals as smoke

and fire encircled him.

He stretched heaven’s curtain open and came to my defense.

Swiftly he rode to earth as the stormy sky was lowered.

He rode a chariot of thunderclouds amidst thick darkness;

his steed was a cherub,

soaring on outstretched wings of Spirit-Wind.

Wrapped in the thick-cloud darkness,

his thunder-tabernacle surrounded him.

He hid himself in mystery-darkness;

the dense rain clouds were his garments.

Suddenly the brilliance of his presence broke through

with lightning bolts and hail—

a tempest dropping coals of fire.

The Lord thundered; the great God above every god

spoke with his thunder-voice from the sky.

The Most High uttered his voice!

He released his lightning-arrows, and routed my foes.

See how they ran and scattered in fear!

Then with his mighty roar he laid bare the foundations of the earth,

uncovering the secret source of the sea.

The hidden depths of land and sea were exposed

by the blast of his hot breath.

He rescued me from the mighty waters

and drew me to himself!

Even though I was helpless in the hands

of my hateful, strong enemy,

you were good to deliver me.

When I was at my weakest, my enemies attacked—

but the Lord held on to me.

His love broke open the way,

and he brought me into a beautiful, broad place.

He rescued me—because his delight is in me!

He rewarded me for doing what’s right and staying pure.

I will follow his commands and

I’ll not sin by ceasing to follow him, no matter what.

For I’ve kept my eyes focused on his righteous words,

and I’ve obeyed everything that he’s told me to do.

I’ve been blameless before him and followed all his ways,

keeping my heart pure.

And so Yahweh has rewarded me according to my righteousness,

because I kept my heart clean before his eyes.

Good people will taste your goodness.

And to those who are loyal to you,

you love to prove that you are loyal and true.

And for those who are purified, they find you always pure.

But you’ll outwit the crooked and cunning with your craftiness.

To the humble you bring heaven’s deliverance,

but the proud and haughty you disregard.

God, all at once you turned on a floodlight for me!

You are the revelation-light in my darkness,

and in your brightness I can see the path ahead.

With you as my strength I can crush an enemy horde,

advancing through every stronghold that stands in front of me.

Yahweh, what a perfect God you are!

All Yahweh’s promises have proven true.

What a secure shelter for all those

who turn to hide themselves in you,

the wraparound God.

Could there be any other god like Yahweh?

For there is not a more secure foundation than you.

God, you have wrapped me in power

and made my way perfect.

Through you I ascend to the highest peaks

to stand strong and secure in you.

You’ve trained me with the weapons of warfare-worship;

my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You empower me for victory with your wraparound presence.

Your power within makes me strong to subdue.

By stooping down in gentleness,

you made me great!

You’ve set me free, and now I’m standing complete,

ready to fight some more!

I caught up with my enemies and conquered them

and didn’t turn back until the war was won!

I smashed them to pieces and

I finished them once and for all; they’re as good as dead.

You’ve placed your armor upon me

and made my enemies bow low at my feet.

You’ve made them all turn tail and run,

for through you I’ve destroyed them all!

They shouted for help, but no one dared to rescue them.

They cried out to Yahweh, but he refused to answer them.

So I pulverized them to powder and cast them to the wind.

I swept them away like dirt on the floor.

You gave me victory on every side,

for you make me a leader of nations.

Even those I’ve never heard of come and bow at my feet.

As soon as they heard of me they submitted to me.

Even the rebel foreigners obey my every word.

Their rebellion fades away as they come near;

trembling in their strongholds,

they come crawling out of their hideouts,

cringing in fear before me.

Yahweh lives!

Praise is lifted high to the unshakable God!

Towering over all, my Savior-God is worthy to be praised!

Look how he pays back harm to all who harm me,

subduing all who come against me.

He rescues me from my enemies;

he lifts me up high and keeps me out of reach,

far from the grasp of my violent foe.

So I thank you, Yahweh, with my praises!

I will sing my song to the highest God,

so all among the nations will hear me.

You have given me, your king, great victories.

You’ve always been tender and kind to me, your anointed one,

your loving servant, David, and to all my descendants!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 18 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 91]

He who takes refuge in the shelter of the Most High

will be safe in the shadow of the Almighty.

He will say to the Eternal, “My shelter, my mighty fortress,

my God, I place all my trust in You.”

For He will rescue you from the snares set by your enemies who entrap you

and from deadly plagues.

Like a bird protecting its young, God will cover you with His feathers,

will protect you under His great wings;

His faithfulness will form a shield around you, a rock-solid wall to protect you.

You will not dread the terrors that haunt the night

or enemy arrows that fly in the day

Or the plagues that lurk in darkness

or the disasters that wreak havoc at noon.

A thousand may fall on your left,

ten thousand may die on your right,

but these horrors won’t come near you.

Only your eyes will witness

the punishment that awaits the evil,

but you will not suffer because of it.

For you made the Eternal [your] refuge,

the Most High your only home.

No evil will come to you;

plagues will be turned away at your door.

He will command His heavenly messengers to guard you,

to keep you safe in every way.

They will hold you up in their hands

so that you will not crash, or fall, or even graze your foot on a stone.

You will walk on the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the lion and the serpent underfoot.

“Because he clings to Me in love,

I will rescue him from harm;

I will set him above danger.

Because he has known Me by name,

He will call on Me, and I will answer.

I’ll be with him through hard times;

I’ll rescue him and grant him honor.

I’ll reward him with many good years on this earth

and let him witness My salvation.”

The Book of Psalms, Poem 91 (The Voice)

[Psalm 111]

Praise the Eternal.

I will thank Him with all my heart

in the presence of the right-standing and with the assembly.

The works of the Eternal are many and wondrous!

They are examined by all who delight in them.

His work is marked with beauty and majesty;

His justice has no end.

His wonders are reminders that

the Eternal is gracious and compassionate to all.

He provides food to those who revere Him.

He will always remember His covenant.

He has shown the mighty strength of His works to His people

by giving the land of foreign nations to them.

All His accomplishments are truth and justice;

all His instructions are certain.

His precepts will continue year in and year out,

performed by His people with honesty and truth.

He has redeemed His people,

guaranteeing His covenant forever.

His name is holy and awe-inspiring.

Reverence for the Eternal is the first step toward wisdom.

All those who worship Him have a good understanding.

His praise will echo through eternity!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 111 (The Voice)

[bonnissance]

did this fun post (via @fortytworedvines) lead me down a fun plot!bunny path of Hecate winding herself up in knots about Dimity excluding her from staff nights, when in reality our beautiful sporty bi has simply been trying (and failing) to ask out the newest useless lesbian in Cackle’s staff aka Marigold Mould?

The answer is yes, so please enjoy.  

pre-ship Dimity Drill/Marigold Mould, Hecate Hardbroom (Hackle and Hicsqueak both visible-ish and open for romantic or platonic readings) (TWW2017) teen, 2k+ CW: Feelings of isolation and unwantedness. Hecate needs some damn therapy but nothing heavier than the show. 

Hecate knows she’s not the most likeable person in the world. Knows her focus and dedication to the Craft often come off as snobbish or self-centred and uncaring. That many wish she were softer, kinder, less prickly or hard to swallow.

She knows people wish she were different.

But she knows why she is the way she is, and truth be told, other people’s opinions don’t really matter to her (they used to, a long time ago, before she let hate-filled words spoken ring louder than reassurances from those with her best interests at heart and caused so much hurt in the fall out. She shut herself off, after that, and it served her well enough for most of her life; it is only now, only recently, that Hecate has truly learnt the lesson of not listening to those who simply do not care: be it the voices of others, or her mind’s own making. She will not make the same mistake again).  

She also knows she isn’t the easiest person to work with, that many simply don’t see the same need for rigorous study and discipline she believes the Craft warrants, and so find her ways off putting. But she also knows she is right, that her methods help their youngest girls become the best witches they can be as they grow. Especially when paired with the softness of Miss Cackle and Miss Bat—which let their girls breath, regain their strength lest it be sapped away and leave them all brittle and easily broken—and Miss Drill’s focus on physical exertion—essential to the fitness of any witch wanting to fulfil their own potential.

She knows her ways have a place, here, at Cackle’s. Just as she knows she has a place, here, too. That within their somewhat eclectic band of educators who appreciate her talents, respect her  and her abilities, and give her a space in which to use them, she has found her place in the world, finally found her home.

She thought that she had found her home.

It’s why it hurts so much, to hear she isn’t wanted here anymore. That the others don’t want her around anymore. That Dimity didn’t even want Hecate there to help celebrate her birthday.

And she can’t understand it. Because she’s sure she hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary to bother Dimity. In fact, in the aftermath of Agatha’s annihilation spell, in the wake of her and Gullet’s many, many betrayals, Hecate actually thought they were becoming quite close; that they might even have begun to bridge the space between friendly colleges and actual friends.

They’d spoken about it, over the break, when Dimity stayed put to help rebuild the castle. Spoken about what Dimity had done in their absence, and Hecate was impressed. With how strongly Dimity fought for the girls, how she kept the castle standing long enough to get everyone out, how she very nearly sacrificed herself in the process.

Dimity had played it off, pretended it wasn’t that big a deal, that any of the other teachers would have done the same. On the last point, Hecate conceded: many of their number would have done the same, if put in that position. But she also knew just how much power it took to do what Dimity had (knows what it would have cost her, has she been the witch casting, instead of trapped and helpless in that wretched painting along with Ada).

‘None of us would be here if it weren’t for you,’ she pointed out, voice clear and precise, as if she weren’t chocking on gratitude and just a hint of shame. ‘We owe you a great debt. One that I hope we may, in time, come close to repaying.’  

Dimity had shrugged, looked a little speechless, her eyes a little wet; Hecate had left her to her thoughts with a heartfelt, ‘Thank you.’

Things had been decidedly warmer between them, after that, definitely friendlier (not that they’d ever been unfriendly, just more than they used to be). Which is why is actually hurts, to hear Miss Mould admit that Dimity had left her out.

Because she had never done that before. Had, in fact, gone out of her way to get Hecate to join in on a few occasions. Never talking around it like she had with Miss Gullet (It had been quite nice, actually, to not be the one left out, to know she wasn’t the last on everyone’s list. She thinks that’s the only thing she misses about Gullet: having proof that she isn’t the most hated teacher in the school. The one the girls are most afraid of, certainly. That, she knows, and doesn’t mind: a well-developed sense of respect always looks like fear, in her experience).

Because her colleagues, she was sure, appreciated what she brought to the school, what she contributed to their collective. And she doesn’t like being left out, not now she knows what it feels like to be included. She thought she’d left all this behind, but she was wrong.

It hurt more now than it ever has.

It Sticks in her throat when Miss Mould tells her; when Dimity brushes her off, pretending it was for Hecate’s benefit, not at her expense.

But she handles as best she can, manages it quite well, in fact. Until she hears it again, in the common room: her exclusion the stuff of gossip.

‘Yes, Dimity was saying during staff drinks last night—’

She stops listening, doesn’t hear the low rumble of confused whispers; looks away, doesn’t see the odd looks everyone else shoots Marigold, then Dimity. Doesn’t see the confusion in everyone else’s eyes about the staff outing that none of them were invited to either. Doesn't realise it isn’t just her.

Has no idea it’s not just her for weeks—almost a month—of Marigold’s happy voice recounting all the fun she’s been having, outside of work, with Dimity (‘What a shame everyone is always too busy to join,’ she muses one day. ‘Everyone works so frightfully hard, I hope they get a chance to join in some time.’)

If she’s heard, she might have thought harder about the frequency of these outings, about the others never attending, about Ada never mentioning anything about it; she doesn’t. Hecate has long since stopped listening.

Until Marigold spends a solid half an hour recounting the night before—her and Dimity stargazing by the North tower—and ‘isn’t it such a shame everyone has so many papers to grade and couldn’t join! It was a wonderful clear night, I’m sure you would have all had a wonderful time.’

Hecate stands silence and stiff while the rooms hums a gentle agreement (doesn’t see their shared glances, doesn’t hear the faintly whispered, ‘Bless, what a useless lesbian,’ a fond and disbelieving hush: ‘She hasn’t a clue yet, has she?’). Sneers at the fact that her colleagues would organise an evening of stargazing, an evening devoted to one of her specialties—a lesser focus that potions, she knows, but an area of expertise all the same—and not think to include her, before turning away and walking out of the room in a storm of disgust.

It’s an insult she wasn’t invited—not an oversight, or it slipped someone’s mind, and they thought she wouldn’t enjoy herself—an actual insult, to be excluded from her own specialty, something they all knew she would enjoy. She won’t stand for this anymore.

She hasn’t spoken to Miss Drill about it, not since the first time—she knows when she’s not wanted—but she resolves to now—because she doesn’t know why.

She finds Dimity walking along the tree line, accessing the perimeter for possible flying drill obstacles.

‘Miss Drill, might I have a word?’ she asks, clipped tones covering the raw emotion in her voice. She should have taken a moment to calm down.

‘Sure, what’s up?’ Miss Drill asks, light and breezy. Like she hasn’t a care in the world. Like she’s done nothing wrong. Like she hasn’t been cruel since term began.

‘It’s about these staff nights.’ She almost sneers when Miss Drill frowns at her. Like she doesn’t know what Hecate is talking about. Like Hecate has nothing to talk about. Like there’s nothing here to be talked about. ‘I understand I’m not the most social of witches, but whether or not I participate in staff related activities is for me to decide and no one else.’ The other witch opens her mouth—to rebut, deny, pretend it’s all in Hecate’s head, she’s sure—Hecate doesn’t let her speak. ‘As Deputy Head, I deserve an invitation, irrespective of my suitability for the event, or whether the rest of the staff want my attendance.’

Dimity does a very good impression of a goldfish when she’s caught out. ‘No, Miss Hardbroom, it’s not—’

‘Rest assured, I have no intention of including myself in situation where I am clearly not wanted.’

‘That’s not—’

‘But,’ she interrupts, again; finger raise in a sharp point. ‘To not even invite me is frankly rude, and I would appreciate it if you stopped excluding me from such things.’

Miss Drill looks at her like Hecate has two heads. ‘What? No! I haven’t been excluding you, I’ve just been inviting Marigold.’

Hecate sniffs, and sneers. There it is, the crux of the matter: they have a new teacher—kinder, softer, nicer—and now they don’t want her at all. It hurts far more than it ought to, and she hates herself for caring so much.

But she is, above all, Deputy Head. She has a duty to her staff, no matter what it costs her.

‘She is, I suppose, a positive addition to our collective. I’m glad she is finding her place with the rest of the teachers.’

She wonders how quickly she can transfer away without it looking like a tantrum.

‘No, Hecate,’ Miss Drill starts, taking a step forward. Hecate is thrown by her first name, by the fondness of Dimity’s voice when she says it. ‘I mean I’ve just been asking Marigold.’

Hecate blinks, incredulous. A moment ago, she was upset and self-righteous; now she’s just confused. Dimity looks at her imploringly—willing her to understand—and she doesn’t know what to say. Eventually she settles on, ‘But all those staff nights…’

‘There haven’t been any,’ Dimity says with a shrug. ‘Every time I ask her out, she assumes it’s a group invite. I went along with it the first time because she caught me off guard, but it keeps happening and I don’t know how to tell her these aren’t staff outings without actually telling her.’

‘Why don’t you do that?’ she asks without thinking, frowning and more confused than ever.

Dimity sniffs. Flashes Hecate a smug, disbelieve smirk. ‘You ever admitted you fancy someone to their face?’

For a moment, Hecate feels ten inches tall. She pouts, lips tight, and swallows. ‘Point taken.’

Dimity chuckles, then huffs out a sigh. ‘See thing is, I’m positive she’s a bit keen on me too— otherwise I’d have stopped asking ages ago—she’s always so happy to see me, and then she gets this light in her eyes when no one else arrives, but then there’s nothing after that,’ she explains dejectedly. ‘Either we have to head back to the castle which breaks the mood, or time get away from us and then it’s late and there’s class in the morning. I mean, I tried offering to walk to her to her door once, but it was hardly a sensible suggestion and it didn’t get me anywhere.’ She huffs again, looks at Hecate with a face like a kicked puppy. ‘I’m getting to my wits ends.’

Hecate doesn’t know how to handle situations like this—if she were Ada, she might offer a reassuring squeeze to the shoulders; Pippa would offer donuts or some other terribly sugary confection and find a way to make Dimity laugh—but Hecate doesn’t know how to offer reassurance, not for things like this.

She does, however, know how to solve a problem. ‘Have you considered asking her for private art lessons?’

Dimity double takes, wide eyed and happily startled. ‘No, I—I hadn’t thought of that,’ she mumbles, her face lighting up as she beams. ‘Goddess, Hecate, you’re a genius!’ Dimity yells, and pulls Hecate into a brief and startling hug.

Hecate yelps slightly, arms up and fingers tensed, and feels a laugh bubble up her throat: it shifts into a smile as Dimity lets go almost as quickly, when she sees the look on her face.

‘Thanks pal, you’re a lifesaver!’ she yells over her shoulder and she races towards the castle.

Hecate watches Dimity scurry away with a gentle smile that grows with each passing moment. Grows with the satisfaction of being helpful bubbling in her heart, the delight of having helped a friend warming her cheeks, the happiness of having a friend lighting up her whole face.

She lets herself smile a few moments longer, filing details away to recount to Pippa during their next mirror call. She wonders briefly if this feeling is why people gossip the way they do as she transfers herself outside Ada’s office door; thinks she may yet come to understand as she knocks gently and is bidden ‘come in,’ with a smile still curling at the corner of her lips.

[angrylittlebea]

Redefining Life

I am stuck between modes of living. 

Pre-College: I had very high self-esteem/self-respect and very low confidence that anyone would like me. I loved myself. I loved my mind & my own company. I believed I must be a mean/unfriendly/unlikeable person because that’s how people saw me.  I put all my energy into studying, earning a scholarship, and getting out of my living situation.

College: I decided that since classes were disappointingly easy, I would put all my energy into working on my weakness: socializing. I repeatedly denied myself my wants/needs (alone time, library time, studying-for-fun-time, yoga, meditation, baking, eating fresh foods, etc.) because they differentiated me from my peers and instead followed along with what others wanted (candy, fast food, group studying, partying, drinking, smoking, placing identity/value in fashion choices, gossiping, etc.) My confidence improved a lot because I was doing what others did/wanted and they liked me. My self-esteem, however, took a massive blow.  I didn’t see any value in myself. I didn’t see value in myself because no one valued me, not even myself. I was a well-liked facade. I was valued for the things I forced myself to do, and the person I forced myself to be. I was laughed at when I let my self slip and accidentally used a “big” word, or talked about political rhetoric. I hid myself. I was looked at like I was crazy when I mentioned David Bowie or referenced something in my massive book collection. It was made clear - through the passive little sounds, snorts, and sighs that girls make - that who I was was not acceptable... unless I was willing to “learn”. So I learned. I learned to dance, to drink, to smoke, to gain unhealthy weight, to police my/others wardrobe, to use emojis, to gossip, colloquialisms, gestures, etc. I learned to ignore my body, to dissociate, to suck it up and suffer pain, cold, anxiety, and depression to go to parties I didn’t like because otherwise I’m wasn’t a good friend and always replaceable. I didn’t like myself. I was constantly forcing myself to ignore what I wanted and to give my friends what they wanted (because wasn’t I supposed to want that too? Isn’t success a group of friends, tight clothes, money, and noise?).  I was in a lot of pain. So much. I would say to my friends that I felt stagnant, that I felt small, that I was depressed, that I was exhausted. They dismissed me & so I dismissed myself. I assumed that they would care for and worry about me as deeply I did for them and it was an egregious assumption. Two years in I became suicidal. In the third year, I had become so sad, anxious, depressed, suicidal, and exhausted to the point of lethargy that my friends (seeing no social use out of me) stopped texting, calling, and quietly moved on.

I was devastated. I had lost the people whom I had prioritized over my education, career, mental and physical health. My grand experiment at friendship / socializing petered out & I was left suicidal, in horrible health, completely isolated, and I believed myself a horrible failure of a person.

Diagnosis:  August 2017, I read an article about late-diagnosed autistic women. August-December, I do mountains of research. I finally see myself clearly. My failures and strengths make sense. I see myself in other human beings for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life, I can relate to other people’s experiences, perspective, thought process, values, etc. and they’re all called “autistic”. I begin a blog. The first post reads only “Is it Autism?”. October 2017, withdrew from university & left my scholarship program due to severe anxiety, agoraphobia, and daily suicidal ideation. December 2017, I am diagnosed as twice-exceptional, meaning Aspergers + Highly Giftedness. I was told to take the MENSA exam as the membership should aid me in finding friends, community, and job opportunities.  I am now between modes of living.  I want to find a balance between my high school self-care and self-focus, and my college willingness to be uncomfortable and try new things.

High school was good. I had a great time. Thinking back, I remember reading everything everywhere, memorizing and writing poems, filling out journal after journal, practicing walking meditation without knowing what it was called, doing yoga regularly, cooking, running to the beach, spending all my free time with my dog, ignoring everyone, and only put energy into the one friend who didn’t make me feel unwelcome or judged. My home life was in shambles because of a series of poor decisions on my mom’s part but I was happy. I didn’t try to be anyone’s definition of success (pretty, bright-but-not-too-smart, social) so I was myself (quiet, meditative, studious, disciplined, always learning/studying, comfortably dressed, and alone). College was a hellhole. I hated it and myself. But I am proud that I put myself in uncomfortable situations one right after the other. It was too much, far, far too much and nearly cost me my life but it’s good to know that I am capable of carrying a commitment out to the end. 

Now: First, I forgive myself for my failures. I forgive myself for not graduating college yet. I forgive myself for not earning a  triple major in three years with honors. I forgive myself for using my intellect to learn the unspoken, infinitely nuanced rules social interaction instead of getting ahead academically. I forgive myself for never learning how to socialize perfectly or comfortably because I am autistic. I forgive myself for not piling extracurriculars and internships on my resume when I was trying to mold myself into someone neurotypical humans would like to befriend. I forgive myself for leaving a wonderful job after a night of intense suicidal ideation. I forgive the people who have hurt me. I forgive the people who will continue to hurt me. I forgive the people who want to hurt me. I forgive the people who used me. I forgive the people who used me. I forgive the people who used me. I forgive the people who felt big when I felt small. I forgive myself for choosing to make an attempt at human connection. I forgive myself for wanting to be normal. I forgive myself for choosing to please other rather than take care of myself. I forgive myself for trying to be different. I forgive myself for letting myself suffer for so long. I forgive myself for unlearning my best habits. I forgive myself for unlearning self care. I forgive myself for unlearning self love. I forgive myself for accumulating bad habits. I forgive myself. I forgive all of actions, all of my feelings, all of my consequences.

Having gone through all that I have gone through, I know myself.

I know what I am good at.  I know what I am not good at. I know which habits work and I know which don’t. I know what I can improve at, and what I shouldn’t attempt to change. Now onto living.

[anything-advice-blog]

Hello, I’m writing because I’m unsure to whether or not my friendship is toxic. I’m in a group of five friends, myself included, where I’ve known two of them since primary school. They also happen to be super close identical twins. The other two (H and C) I’ve made friends with since being at secondary school. One of the girl’s © I’ve become friends with showed controlling behaviour since the beginning. It was only ever me and her at the time (she didn’t like me hanging out with the twins and the other girl then) and she would always be telling me how I should act and when we would eat, etc. At the end of year seven I remember so clearly the twins and my other friend telling me they hate the way that I was being treated by this girl. At the beginning of year eight though, a new girl arrived. I was soon replaced by my controlling friend for a new mind-controlled minion. At first I was relieved, I could have my friends back, right? No. My controlling friend wanted us to be a trio and that’s when I started being bullied. The new girl at first looked innocent and sweet - just fresh from Norway and acted like she couldn’t speak English - but she soon began to exclude me from things. Again, I relieved that I was being pushed away by a duo now so I can finally be with the twins and my other friends but the new girl was always there saying things behind my back. Year nine was the worse. My controlling friend and her minion decided that they wanted to be part of my friendship circle. I was pleased that my controlling friend finally wanted to know who my lovely friends are but I was just filled with constant anxiety with the new girl sat next to me at lunch every day, having to put up with her gossiping and making rumours about me - right in front of me. At this point none of my friends said anything. They would let my controlling friend and my bully just hurt me. I didn’t get it, I don’t get it. By Christmas, the twins had fallen out with another girl that was part of our group which really put a dent in everything. When you upset one of the twins, you upset the other, and when you upset the other, you upset (H). There is no way out of it because if you want to speak out in my friendship group, you’re on your own because the twins and (H) will side together every time. You can’t break it. So this Christmas time I decided that I just wanted to be the mutual friend. My mother is the head of science at my school and always helps me by pointing out the nice girls but these, these aren’t nice girls. Just because I didn’t side with them it was like when the other girl left the group, I was forced out too. (H) took the twins to Winter Wonderland as well as taking ©, the controlling girl. It hurt, a lot. (H) was my friend. I’d done nothing but be nice to her and I was the one who introduced them to ©. They didn’t like © before my bully came along. The rest of year nine was a blur but welcoming at the same time. But now I’m in year ten and I had no idea what was coming. During year nine, my bully decided that she wanted to control what went on between her and ©. She soon became the more dominant one, no surprise, and was becoming rude to us all, even though she was budding up with (H). At the start of this year though, she done something that caused police calls between her and ©. Thankfully, they’re now enemies but honestly, even that’s still toxic. © was willing to do anything she could to get my bully into trouble at this point by making (H) give statements and forcing me into admitting all the bullying. I didn’t want too. It wasn’t my place and at this time in my life my homelife was really unstable and she knew that. She wouldn’t stop pushing me till I went to see the only teacher I trust, after my mother of course, but I kept it professional. I don’t know if my friendship is toxic or not because only then did the twins, (H) and © want to address everything I’ve been through. It hurt me a lot. More recently an incident happened during a Physical Education class and I was injured badly. None of my friends appeared to be there for me (© claims she was, but all I remember is her walking away with disgust on her face after I was injured). This clearly upset me and when I went to the twins for comfort, who I’d say are my closest friends at the time, they were just laughing with each other. At break time it ended up with me in an argument with one of the twins. For the rest of the day none of them say a word to me. Thankfully it was a Friday but the most heart-breaking weekend of my life and not because of that. I really needed a friend so on Monday I went to school with a clear mind but of course, they didn’t. © didn’t say a word to me and I was friendly with the twins. I’m a good girl and never take my phone to school and as my mum works at my school I stay pretty late in the science labs; by the time Monday night rolled around and I was finally home I faced the most horrific text messages. I was being accused of plenty of blasphemy and sin I had no idea what I was reading. None of them even replied to my texts. I have Asperger’s and I’m autistic which makes it really hard to me to cope in social situations sometimes as I can’t tell body language very well and I’m very quick to adapt anxiety in times like this. The next morning when © finally spoke to me it was painful and the twins wouldn’t even tell me what sinful things I’d done. The next week the four of them were going to the movies together, another thing I wasn’t invited too. Lately I’ve been really wondering if my friends like me and if my friendship is toxic. (H) and © are besties and the twins are as thick of thieves which always leaves me on my own. They always want to talk about TV shows they know I don’t watch which forces me to not be part of conversations and when I try and pick up on things they look at me like I’m crazy. There are days when I just stand with them like a lemon when none of them have said a word to me. Is this normal? I wish I had the guts like the girl they kicked out did because she’s moved on and found better friends but I’m not like that. I’m always polite and shy and I don’t know what I’ve done for my friends to do things this half term without inviting me. They even asked me what days I’m free before half term started, convincing me they wanted to do something. But instead all I see is them posting pictures of what they’ve done when they’ve been “busy”. They have a group chat I’m not part of which they always refer to and no one ever messages me. That part doesn’t bother me but I wish they’d just keep it to themselves because I’m not sure what they want out of me. I’m sorry this has been really long  but I feel like in order to understand my situation you need to know the whole story. I’m no longer being bullied but I’m unsure if my friends are. I’m at a point where I want to move away and never come back. I just want to have friends that care about me instead of how many likes their insta photo gets. Sorry. Thank you, Night-Slayer xo

Hello Night-Slayer,

I honestly wish that you have come to us earlier with this. You should not be subject to this type of bullying for 4 years! My straightforward answer to your foremost question is that yes, your friendship is 100% toxic and you should do your best to get yourself out of the situation. This is not a healthy relationship at all, and you do not benefit from being friends with these girls. You need to remove yourself from the situation ASAP. The fact is, what you have described is all middle school drama. Yes it is so painful kno

wing that people that you put first don’t put you first. Trust me, so many people have experienced this type of situation and have asked themselves ‘What am I doing wrong’ or ‘Should I treat them better?’ The simple fact is that you can’t. These people don’t realize or appreciate what they have in the present moment, and they will continue not to appreciate what they have until it is gone. They will never treat you right, no matter how hard you have tried, and after 4 years, i believe it is time to let go. You are incredibly mature to understand this situation, to step back and access what is the right thing to do, and to understand that hierarchy and popularity is not everything. It is not what your world revolves around. It is not worth being ‘popular’ when you give up your happiness. These ‘friends’ that you allegedly have are not your friends. I don’t want to be too harsh darling, but I’d like to tell you the real truth.

Lets break this down slowly alright? Social situations are never easy! Especially if you have Aspergers and Autism, it is extra hard, but you are dealing with it so so well honey, and I really hope that you do persevere on. There are times when we do want to move away, we don’t want to drag ourselves out of bed to see these people that make our lives miserable. I feel like you’re a lot like me, you forgive and forget really easily, but these people just take our kindness for granted, and they will come to believe that you will forgive them easily everytime. But this is our personality, and that is theirs. It is embedded in who we are and we can’t change that, no matter how vulnerable our personality makes us, we are kind and honest people.

The person that was forced out of your friendship group in Year 9 was the first indicator that this group was an unfriendly group. You should’ve realized this and gotten out as quickly as possible. This is just something to keep in mind for the next time you run into a similar situation. True friends will stick by their friends at all times, they will never intentionally force a friend out of their friendship group. It is mean and it is bullying, and you need to learn how to recognize that ahead of time. It may seem right now like it’s impossible to move on, that you will be alone without these girls, but you will not be. The first few months maybe, but soon you will learn that the world is not that lonely of a place. With 7 billion people in this world, you are bound to find somebody just like you - that is your best friend. The world isn’t over, it’s just starting, and you will meet difficulties such as these in your life, but you have to learn to deal with it sensibly and maturely - like you are already starting to do. If your friend C can find new friends you can too, and I’m going to walk you through how it’s going to be okay?

First when you detach yourself from the group, you need to let them know that you are done. Be mature, and keep your head up, and tell them that you are no longer interested in being their friends anymore. Say that your personalities and your core values do not match, and you do treasure the times that the bunch of you share, but you believe it’s the best if you go separate ways. Be mature, if they decide to attack you, do not attack back. You need to be the better person and not create even more drama for yourself because detaching will be drama itself. You furthermore need to prepare yourself for the bad things that they will begin to say behind your back, you need to make sure you have your own version of the story to tell - the truth, because people will talk. You need to make sure you don’t attack them, because that is the worst thing to do as you will stir up more drama and hatred between you and your former friends that way and you don’t want that. For the first few months when you detach, you need to keep your head down. It is not worth being in the spotlight because the more in the spotlight you are the more people will talk, and the best thing to do is keep a low profile for a month or two. Focus on school, focus on extra curricular activities, make sure your grades are pristine and spend time with your family. Build a strong foundation in your life before you load anything else on yourself. Help people when you can, be open to new relationships and new friendships. Scout the school because there will be somebody. Soon people will recognize your kind heart and invite you to their events, and into their circle. Make friends, and don’t be too afraid of conversations. It’s okay. Furthermore, I’d like you to take notice of the qualities in your old friends and make sure they are not present in the new group of friends that you join. The fact is they took advantage of your generosity, they are unkind and are simply just bullies. Cyber bullying and attacking somebody is bullying and they may not believe it is so when they do it but it is. The world will not be as kind to them in the future.

If you ever feel too much anxiety in the future we have a page on our website that will help you calm down if you ever need to.

http://anything-advice-blog.tumblr.com/navigation

(Look under the anxiety heading!)

Don’t be too afraid of the unknown, but I’d like you to be happy. That is the most important thing right now. The unknown is scary, but it is the best thing for you right now. You shouldn’t be the awkward lemon, you and your best friend should put each other first, you don’t deserve to be treated like the awkward add on, feel excluded. That is not real friendship. Find somebody that is like you. Doesn’t matter how popular they are, in 5 or 6 years, that won’t even matter.

I really hope this helps love,

Chloe x