#they still have not let him live it down
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Charlie is the person who hunts down the physical copies of old games and movies from second hand stores and how to play them because she needs physical copies of everything, Jeremy is the person who "pirates" his media though youtube compilations and uses the library because he doesn't want to risk his computer getting bricked and god-damn it you two the library is less than a five minute walk and FREE, and Michael hasn't paid for a single piece of media since he was 13 he just stole stuff from the only chain store in Hurricane until he got his hands on internet piracy.
#charlie emily#michael afton#jeremy fitzgerald#fnaf#fnaf buzzfeed unsolved au#jeremy has had to drive Charlie to way too many garage sales because michael is a terrible driver and somehow always ends up lost#Michael is no longer allowed to borrow anyone's computers because he keeps forgetting they don't have all his pop-up blockers and shit#and accidentally lost at least 3 episodes they were editing and had to announce it on their youtube channel#they still have not let him live it down
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Just thinking about Dick freaking out over losing his title of best uncle to Jason.
Dick showing up to take Lian out and give Roy a break only to hear she's having a fun day with Jason
Dick walking into the room with the toy he knows Lian really wanted, only to find out Jason got it for her first.
Dick showing up to game night at Roy's only to find Jason already there.
Just Dick getting increasingly frustrated and his rival Jason having no clue well the the rest watch on in humor and exasperation. Roy finds the who thing hilarious.
Picturing it all coming to a head when Dick is babysitting Lian and she shows him a new photo they put up. Dick all dejectivly being like, "look, it's you and your favorite uncle."
The pure shock and joy he feels when Lian tells him he wrong and her favorite uncle is "you uncle Dickie, duh!"
The door opening and Lian shouting "Papa!" As dick turns to excitedly tell Roy what Lian said only to see it's Jason who's holding Lian.
Dick just bluescreening.
#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#roy harper#lian harper#batman#Roy being daddy and Jason is papa#Dick being oblivious to his baby bros relationship#nobody is gonna let Dick live this down#bright side is Dick still holds favorite Uncle title#Dick: I thought you were just really good friends#Jasons always there because he lives there half the time.#what's the point of having a rich Bruce if you can't abuse his money and tech to “work” in Gotham well still living with his boyfriend.#dick cries when jason asks him to go with him to pick out a ring#dick cries again when Roy does the same#dick: omg im living in a Hallmark movie rn#part two: features the battle for Grayson. aka both want him as their best man.#i wish i could edit tags because my grammar seems to fail me whenever I write in them.#my posts#jason todd x roy harper#royjay#royjoy#idk
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Prompt 294
Danny has found an… interesting corner of the Realms, avoided by all. There’s a bunch of ghosts, and a couple demons, angels, and a couple things that he’s never seen before. It’s actually really fun, and no one else ever comes so it’s kind of peaceful even with the chaos the family there does. There’s even a couple doctors who are happy to help him out, and apparently several dozen of them were vigilantes during life. Honestly this shadow area of the Zone is great!
Or, Danny stumbled across the Realms area where the bats of Every world and timeline have set up. He hasn’t realized the only reason he’s not already ghost-adopted is that the different versions are arguing over who gets to be the first to do so.
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Yes this includes Flashpoint Thomas#Look do you think ANY Batman would just let themself die and stay down? Yeah no#There’s also an entire army of Jasons ready to teach Danny street tricks#And several Graysons teach him some acrobatics#He’s their lil halfa boi#He doesn’t realize how OP he’s becoming by being trained by literal hundreds of Bats#Space Core Danny#Which seeing as how most of the Bats have Shadow or Star or Sun cores? He’s learning So Many Tricks#Not to say some don’t have other ghost core types but that’s still the majority#All of Team Phantom are now learning from the ghost Bats & Dani was instantly pseudo adopted as well#These are the people that accepted Kon & Bizarro & Damian even straight up had an island for his clones to live safely on#No one is prepared for this random team of teens in the middle of nowhere Illinois- nevermind the GIW
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i think martha kent should get to threaten rex leech with a shotgun tbh
#rimi talks#many people in kon's life would happily line up to punt this guy and i think that's beautiful#i think clark would have some Feelings about not realizing that kon's living situation was as fucked up as it was#and i would also love to see this. bc like kon also doesn't realize it was fucked up. and is so determined to be independent#but also i feel like i have to add 7386482 disclaimers. NOBODY BLAME CLARK FOR EDITORIAL DECISIONS#just bc clark carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and blames himself for everything DOESN'T MEAN THAT'S CORRECT#(also. ill take traits kon inherited from clark for $800)#anyway im getting off track. the point is. rex coming back into kon's life at some point way down the line could be soooo juicy#like the contrast of kon having a real support system. and being older and less naive.#many directions it could go in. have ma hate rex's ass or lois eviscerate him. have clark and kon have a heart to heart about it.#have tim threaten and blackmail him again bc i still think that's fucking hilarious.#have kara hear about what happened and be filled with righteous fury that has nowhere to go. bc kon wouldn't actually want him hurt#have roxy step in before anyone else has the chance. let her go dad what the FUCK?#it's about the number of people who love and want to protect kon. unlike what happened the first time around#the kontrast of it all. if you will.#and also about kon getting some kind of closure that a grown ass adult Using him as a child was not actually his fault#ough..........
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Messy comic about his Intrusive thoughts
#one piece#portgas d ace#monkey d luffy#moonel.mspaint#tw intrusive thoughts#cw intrusive thoughts#Ace isn’t really the best and stable person#so I do think he used to have intrusive thoughts and it was especially directed to Luffy because Luffy would always let his guard down when#with Ace because he trusts him like an older brother#but Ace on the other hand still struggles with his issues of being the son of the late pirate king#he thinks he doesn’t deserve someone as special as Luffy so it all gushes up into a bunch of intrusive thoughts that#want to get rid of Luffy and push him away#to try and test Luffy if he really does mean what he said when they swore to be brothers#because if it weren’t for Luffy and Sabo. Ace didn’t really have much to live for and keep himself stable because he was just a child during#those times#.#sorry if I rambled there#i have a lot of feelings about this messy comic
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the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiu’s changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe won’t kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and he’s witnessed luo binghe’s devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiu’s corpse.
anyways in this essay i will-
#listen#binghe needs to have more people in his corner#and for some reason i have imprinted on mqf#so you get cool healer uncle#who probably smoked weed with binghe and made him promise to keep quiet#lbh and mqf bonding activity was teaching lbh to properly roll joints#anyways mqf understanding that the rituals are intricate and lqg doesn’t have any other way of coping with his grief#but the first time lqg injures lbh almost to death in a fight they get into a screaming match so violent#that no bai zhan discipline will look at him in the face without going pale for the next month#that is his nephew! who found several thought-to-be-extinct herbs for him!#also him telling sqq that lbh might have forgotten what he did but mqf certainly didn’t#a healer never forgets the wounds they heal#and sqq is just like yeah brother me neither :(#mqf is going to therapy these idiots so fucking hard#lbh also keeps trying to matchmake him with some nice demons in his court like shamelessly trying to poach his mu shishu#also he and shang qinghua are the only ones who still get the full shishu treatment#except lbh kinda bullies sqh a little for the virtue of the whole mbj situation#(hes never gonna let them live that down)#anyways it’s whatever at first but at one poont years in the future it does become a point of contempt with the other peak lords#nothing can take away from me that when bored they will squabble like children#such is the way of bored adults#i have rambled enough so normal tags now#svsss#svsss writing#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#bingqiu#svsss au
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theres nothing funnier than kuli doing a media scrum in an empty dressing room only to comedically pan to gadjo all alone in his stall talking to himself and then having to go "oh sorry" for interrupting only to get lit up by kuli
a man who never in his entire life has ever heard of a talking stick
kulis grin at being able to chirp gadjo for being a motor mouth oh this FUCKING TEAM
Training Camp 24 | 9.21.24 (x)
#dmitry kulikov#jonah gadjovich#florida panthers#2425#preseason#the “oh sorry” TAKES ME OUT#LIKE GADJY????#NOT JAMESON GOING I THOUGHT GADJO WAS ASKING A QUESTION 😭😭😭#OUR BEAT HAS JOKES#kuli taking the opportunity jameson presented him with and ran with it#kuli is never gonna let him live this DOWN#gadjy looks so ashamed in his stall IM CRYING#i see the cats locker room is still the same#and by the same i mean kittycats have never learned about the concept of inappropriate times to talk#there is a always a cat yelling in the bg always
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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catch me laughing in the club awkwardly because this season has a 19 year old blonde female companion from London, a space travelling left of law brunette queer boy who flirts heavily with the doctor, absolutely zero writers of colour and no mention of sensitivity readers…….and next season the new companion is a woman of colour. uh oh!
#he’s not stupid enough to do Martha again but be REAL with me. do you think this man can handle writing for a brown woman and a black man#and make it in any way genuinely tasteful. the one race he’s punched down and the other he’s basically ignored during his tenure :/#rtd seems to think because he has the lived experience of the great struggles of being queer in the 80s and onwards#which was a serious struggle and came with its issues#that he understands being a person of colour? like he wrote an episode about racism and then laughed about not needing a sensitivity reader#before he handed it off to ncuti. but it needed one because it was a stupid episode because he’s white and moreover#seems to think he understands WITHOUT actually getting any of the nuance. which makes it worse.#im just concerned to put it lightly#like chibnall’s bad habit was ‘good episode followed by a bad episode so bad you forget the good episode even existed’#but at least he got writers of colour in to make some of those episodes! he actually cared! and also fumbled real bad (nazi uniform… ://)#still. he actually gave it a pretty good shot and opened some doors behind the scenes. like the writer’s room which is just as important#and also in the scenes tbf like yaz and ryan sharing scenes as poc companions during the same run was groundbreaking#and rtd just closed them again going actually no im doctor who’s most specialist boy and we should do my run all over again#stop this man. get someone new in. he is not much better than chibnall rn like he is not batting hits#stop letting the world’s most charismatic doctor (ncuti i will get rid of regeneration to keep you. i love you. wish you had better writing)#distract you from the fact RTD is doing a ‘biggest hits’ tour rn. stop him!!!!!!! please can we have a showrunner of colour! a woman! please#rtd critical#doctor who#dw
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it's easy to read the situation between li tongguang, ruyi, and yuanzhou as a love triangle on a superficial level, but looking even one step further, it's clear that there's no triangle about it. li tongguang is obsessed with ren xin; ning yuanzhou is devoted to ren ruyi. ltg's obsession is fervent and all consuming, but it's not devotion. like ruyi herself notes, his feelings to her are on the basis of her as a mother figure in his life, as a replacement for what he never received from his mother. is there an element of romantic/sexual love/desire to it? maybe. more likely he's deluded himself into thinking that, because the truth is, it's doubtful that ltg even understands what love is (platonic, filial, familial, romantic, all of the above, etc), because he has no basis for understanding. ruyi's teachings and actions towards him are the closest thing he has to hold up as an example. what he wants is ren xin, is a replica of the master he had. he doesn't want ruyi, because he doesn't actually care about ruyi. therefore, he doesn't care if she's sad, angry, mad; he just can't bear her 'abandoning' him. we saw this way back when she first meet and left him, both at thirteen and seventeen. although he distrusts her first, she saves his life and cares for him in the way no one else has, hence her first being raised on a platform in his mind. when she leaves for good, ending their master-disciple relationship/training, even though it's for official business and she's not abandoning him, in his mind that's exactly what it is. so now that she's in his life again, he won't let her leave again. he was powerless before, a child with no proper name, but now he's a recognized member of the imperial family, a man who can meet her as 'equals' (even when that's far from the truth). as a child, he could only cling to her legs and beg her, but now he has the power to keep her by his side. it's telling that when he finally gets confirmation of her identity, it's not ning yuanzhou he seeks to harm (even though he detests him and their relationship), but yang ying. yang ying is ruyi's new disciple, and as ltg doesn't know she's a woman, he only sees her as his direct replacement.
ning yuanzhou, on the other hand, is devoted to ruyi. he wants to build a new life and future with her, instead of slotting her into a spot in the life he already has. he's someone who accompanies her on walks and makes her midnight snacks, who holds her when she needs to be held and lets her go when she needs to do things on her own. when she speaks her mind, he listens, even when it makes him discontent/it's not what he wanted/wants to hear. he sees her unabashedly as his equal, and though he acknowledges her skills and abilities, or points out her naivety, he never does it to belittle her; to him, she is his peer, deserving of the highest honor and respect. he trusts her to have his back, and she has come to trust him to have her. he did what she might have thought no man would ever do: he proved himself reliable, so she came to rely on him. yuanzhou gives her freedom and autonomy as both ren ruyi and ren xin. of course they run into problems, but they both learn and grow from them, as individuals and as a couple. yuanzhou's belief in her is unwavering, but adaptable, whereas ltg's is unwavering, but frozen in time, disallowing for any new information to be presented. yuanzhou works with ruyi to accept the changes thrown her way; he seeks the core behind her actions in order to better understand her. li tongguang cannot accept the changes in ruyi's character, because they run contrary to the master he has on a pedestal in his mind.
what li tongguang wants is to return to the past, but yuanzhou offers ruyi the promise of a future, even one that might never come to fruition. there's no triangle about it.
#star stumbles#my thoughts#a journey to love#一念关山#cdrama#written right after watching ep 26#hope i explained it well#honestly i have a lot more thoughts about this ep and ruyi/ltg but that's still a separate post that will happen. well sometime#maybe after ep 32 idk#it's just the juxtaposition between entering a room that is a shrine to the person she is trying to leave behind#and going home to a man who makes her wonton soup and accompanies her on her revenge journey#who offers his own insights and thoughts but lets her lead the way when it comes down to it.#he gives her ultimate control over her own journey. and ruyi who has never had that freedom of course is drawn to him#oh and one more point that didn't make it in#ruyi's confrontation about how ltg is unwilling to give up his power and success is further proof of his obsession =/= love or devotion#it's not that ning yuanzhou WOULD necessarily give up those things if she asked him to#but he would respect her enough to let her go if he knew he was unwilling to give up his position#of course nyz right now is someone who is planning on retiring and living a quiet life away from it all#which is appealing to ruyi#but ltg obviously won't give up his name and success. he wanted an imperial name but now that he got it the avenue has opened up#we saw his big dreams early on in eps 4-5 (before the character butchery...though i can't really call it that since it makes sense#but still drives me insane)#and of course he won't! for a neglected illegitimate child with no power even gaining a sliver of it is just the beginning#and ruyi is honestly so far from the court in that she might have been close with empress zhaojie#but her understanding of the court is very ignorant. not in a bad way but she was a weapon so of course she didn't have to understand that#she just struck when told to. the power games of the court are basic knowledge but they still shock and confuse her#so it's also a thing about living two different lives and different paths#even though yuanzhou and her are on different ones theirs are still compatible#at this point in their lives. as they said earlier if they had met earlier they probably would be trying to kill each other
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For all the Bells Hell's moral greyness at times, for all the anger a lot of them carry, they still manage to recognize the personhood of their enemy. Feel some level of compassion for them. Imogen can be brutal and terrifying and so so angry but she felt guilt for wanting to kill a member of the Ruby Vanguard because of his past suffering. Despite having his family murdered by that same cult, Orym took no pleasure in Bor'dor's death or the deaths of the people they killed at the Malleus Key. He even felt guilt knowing that he was certainly killing people's loved ones. None of team Issylra relished Bor'dor's death after the immediate fury of betryal passed. Laudna was broken up, Ashton was somber. Contrast that with Ludinus' absolute cold detached spitefulness. Ruthlessly targeting the Air Ashari, a peaceful people. Otohan killing Orym, Fearne, and Laudna just to provoke Imogen. All while claiming to be liberators of mortalkind.
#critical role#idk i just have a lot of feeling about how somber they were after killing Bor'dor#when killing him was completely justified regardless of his sob story#he would have killed all of them#they might have let him live if he hadn't attacked them#they still almost did#prism and deni$e werent even involved in the shit that went down in marquet and bor'dor would've killed them anyway#critical role spoilers
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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this scene is ruining my life at first I didn’t get it but now I get it and Aughdhyfhfheujfuejfjjfjfnv
#Kusuo learning from Akechi that competition can be fun and playful and not like. Torture.#And then learning that Kuusuke despite his shitty brother-isms is deep down seeking that exact thing#but just doesn’t know how to approach it#because of how their relationship functioned for years and how they both are#Like don’t get me wrong Kuusuke is uh. Not a good brother and his inferiority complex lead to him hating and mistreating his brother for#Many Years#And I don’t think this scene functions as forgiveness exactly (Kusuo still has resentment towards him in later arcs)#But I think it’s a moment where he realizes they’re both on some level really lonely people#Who have been fighting their whole lives#And being like “hey I don’t hate you. Let’s be friends instead of enemies.”#And Kuusukes response being “I should really be the one saying that to you”#I just. Like it’s a Start.#IDK like Kusuo was completely justified to hate his brother especially after something like the catgun arc#But he doesn’t and I think it’s because he realizes that his brother genuinely doesn’t hate him anymore#Their whole deal is just really interesting to me but idk how to phrase my thoughts on them coherently#The only thing I wish this arc had was Kuusuke having a “what did I do to you” moment but it is a comedy and we already got that from tori#so ynow#i just say he had that moment post meteor#does any of this make sense#Also it makes me so emo that he pictured akechi
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I'm gonna have to wait out a few weeks to be able to complain about jjk's ending bc rn half the ppl are bashing everyone who expected more as ppl who just wanted gojo back
#jjk 271#like no I can read I understood that gojo was gone for good from 236 bUT we can still talk about#how a grown ass man and his grown ass friends deciding how they were at 16 was their perfect forms.#before they made all the important life changing decisions. is a regression right#like can we talk about how the narrative just glosses over geto's whole entire life after hs WHERE HE WAS A GENOCIDAL MANIAC#and pretends like no one would even side eye him about that???#that's fucking regression#you're scaling his character back bc you don't want to address the root reasonwhy he went that route#and it's perfectly fine when an author doesn't want to get too political in their work it's their right I get it#but it does make me upset where the whole entire story up until here the author has been beating us over the head with leftist messaging-#- only to throw it away and settle for a 'oh I didn't mean ACTUAL revolution or changes that would rock the boat for REAL'#bc let's face it. the conditions that made people like geto and sukuna happen are still fucking there they just skipped this generation#these kids are still going to be sent out when a special grade curse shows up and some of them are still gonna die tragically early#to put yuuji as the leader of gojo's dream is isolating and a burden on JUST YUUJI (WHY WERE THE OTHER STUDENTS NOT THERE)#to make yuuji the sole messenger of gojo's will is frankly WEIRD gojo wanted these kids to look out for one another#he had nothing to say to anyone else???#yuuji's been accidentally burdened with the weight of gojo's dream now ON HIS OWN#HE IS A KID#literally nothing's changed at the end#also see how I didn't talk about gojo on his own here bc the problems are so glaring that they shine through even side characters#WHY IS NANAMI A KID IN THE AIRPORT IS THAT THE VERSION OF HIMSELF HE WAS CONTENT WITH???#or did they all have to be aged down to match haibara even though making the choice to show the ones that lived as grown would've made it-#-more impactful#A twenty seven yr old nanami sitting next to the fifteen yr old haibara would've been soul crushing right?#also why have nanami be the only one that talks like he remembers his adulthood BUT NOT GETO#WHY TAKE AWAY SUCH A HUGE PART OF GETO#YOU COULD'VE HAD THAT BE A CONVERSATION AND HAVE PEOPLE FORGIVE HIM#the more I think about the ending the more things I find to nitpick further back too#gege I love you but please I hope you negotiate a more flexible time in your next contract I hope they don't burn you out again#bc jjk is going to be an ending which I will frankly ignore and just go with 'sukuna won and it was terrible' in my head instead
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Asshole Things Ambrose Has Said/Done #8: Describe Cyrus' relationship with Malistaire as "odd" then sends a child, essentially a stranger to Cyrus, with no business with being involved in their family issues, to extract information out of Cyrus on how to kill his brother (a grieving man)
#ambrose: can you go manipulate a man who's had to see his brother suffer insanity and grief and loss into telling us how to kill him? for me#hey ambrose i have an idea. why dont YOU go do that.#why dont YOU interrogate cyrus. the man that you distrust incorrectly. by the way. on how to hunt down and kill his brother. hm.#hey ambrose why dont YOU figure out malistaire's weaknesses#no lets not comfort the man grieving the loss of his sister in law and his brother. naw.#also using a stranger to be impartial to your feelings and loss is so dirty????? ☹️#if i was dealing with severe family issues and worrying for my lived ones 24/7-#and someone whom ive never met bursts into my house. sent by another person. tried to ask me how to kill my loved one#cyrus was an asshole dont get me wrong but yknow. he had a good reason to be one#like malistaire is my least favorite villain but still. he went through so much. and cyrus too#and ambrose HAD THE GALL.#'hey lets not support the guy who works for mw and instead secretly susoect him of Crimes because of his brother'#ambrose sent us not to go comfort cyrus. but to EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM HIM#SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.#breathes. anyways hi :)#i refuse to shut up about the wizard being a kid by the way. sorry!#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts
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why should it just be steve who has all the torturous purgatory realm fun?
#dbd#myart#wip#quick clarification for those only familiar with the american version of ringu: sadako is 19.#anyway. I love that dbd lets me explore steve and nancy's characters outside the bullshit that the show is.#because the whole steve and nancy dynamic is Interesting. but the dustbags are plagued by cerebral hetrot so that story never GOES anywhere#it's just the “Waaaah love triangle OMG!!! will they? won't they?” crap. idk man. idc. why're these dumbasses breathing in Upside down air?#some people here have seen lucy before-- he is the ghostface pictured. and he's an OC. different person entirely from danny.#I won't explain his full lore here but-- he was a drag queen before the fog who started out by only killing those who he felt deserved it.#his entire persona satirises catholicism and he calls himself “the holy ghost” rather than ghostface. the entity made him an actual devil.#he's obsessed with steve because he LIVES his own role so he sees steve as his heroic opposite or some fucked up gay shit like that.#he's clutching kate's heart because if he were a real character in the game-- he'd have two moris.#one standard... and one for if a steve is present in the lobby. the second would involve him carving out the heart of a survivor as a gift.#he never harms steve though-- so it makes steve's penchant for self-sacrifice pointless.#steve instead has to do what he can to open the gates as fast as possible-- or watch everyone else die! :)#as for the toxic yuri-- it occurred to me that sadako's backstory bears some striking similarities to barb's story.#as soon as I realised this-- it was like I had suddenly gained the ability to see a new colour I could not see before.#sadako wanting to torment nancy as sick revenge for what happened to her but using barb's death as justification for this...#...nancy being unable to escape the ghost of barb... even in this hell dimension full of terrifying monsters--#it is still the memory of the girl she feels she “let” die in steve's pool that scares and hurts her the most.#not to mention that sadako's powers are reminiscent of how the upside down related fuckery appears...#the screwy technology. the telekinesis.#I just REALLY love seeing characters be forced to confront difficult parts of themselves even if that shit REALLY hurts.#dbd makes it so easy to do that to any given character. of course this goes both ways too-- it'd force lucy & sadako to change too.#which opens the door for torment on their end too because killers who disobey the entity are tortured into obeying.#a rock and a hard place on both ends. and that is Exactly how I like it. intense. complicated-- a puzzle to be solved.
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