#they saved my life back in 2020
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okay have i ever mentioned how much i love the boyz.
#i would fight the world for them#they're so cute#they saved my life back in 2020#istg i love them#the boyz
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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the reasons i still mask are numerous and interconnected:
because my grandmother is in hospice and i’ll be damned if i’m the one to kill her by getting her sick, i want her to live the rest of her life as healthy as she can be with cancer and dementia
because my mother works with covid+ patients every shift and i don’t want to spread a hospital-borne infection into the public, or get my mother sick and have her bring something into work or further disable her
because my city website lied about there being no covid+ patients in hospitals or ICUs, meaning that their statements about why they relax covid precautions cannot be trusted
to demonstrate to unmasked people around me that they can (and should) choose to resume masking at any point, though the sooner the better
because part of being queer for me is caring about others around me even when it goes against the status quo or “common sense”, knowing that the societal conventions of heterosexuality/cisgenderism/able-bodiedness do more harm than good
because i enjoy the fact that wearing a mask makes me look mysterious and frees me from having to care about controlling social cues for the bottom half of my face
😷
#ALL of this!!!!!!!!#that fifth point about embracing queerness and the queerness of being different as we choose to mask up!!!#EXACTLY!!!!!!#we HAVE to embrace the fact our survival depends on us not fitting in right now. we HAVE to.#our survival and the survival of marginalized folks depends on us rejecting the temptation of giving into eugenics in order to fit in#we have to ACTIVELY reject participating in the normalization of eugenics in order to save & protect each other#and 110% none of their statements about relaxing covid precautions can be trusted.#i recently found out the WHO straight up lied about covid not being airborne BACK IN MARCH 2020.#SINCE DAY 1.#i DO NOT trust these people with my life and the lives of the marginalized & vulnerable#thank you for sharing 😷💛#covid#i still mask because#covid is airborne#covid isn't over#covid pandemic#covid awareness#ask queue
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Eh chat, how long you think this laptop still got?
#i'm gonna save my various files right now just in case but it might surprise me tbh#it's like 8 years old and i dropped entire cups of coffee on it on at least two different occasions#back in 2020 i actually bought another laptop because i thought that this one was on its last leg and it's still going strong so...#who knows?#anyway the fact that i still own the 2020 laptop is the main reason why i'm not more stressed out about the situation#i'll miss this one a lot when it die tho because it still has a dvd player#did i mentionned that i used to play the sims on this thing?#when it dies i'm gonna give it actual funeral because it did more for me than many people who have been in my life for years
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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having a hyperfixation forever nostalgic of a certain time of year feels really weird when the hyperfixation was so unpleasant. like you'll have me every april/may from now on smelling the spring air like. ah........threads (1984)......
#2023 was a time i'm still not over my threads obsession#i mean it was such a bad year that watching threads twice felt like an improvement to my life#and then when i fancied bob. for some reason#what's that post about girls will be attracted to a white fence. like honestly#i still back that era though bob is a king i would die for him#it's like a tradition that every 3 aprils i will have a hyperfixation that isn't that weird but the experience is#2014. cheated on my clash obsession by being obsessed with the who and it took me like 4 months to accept my clash thing had faded#2017. read a south park fanfic that was so good i wanted to convert it text-to-speech and listen to it in the car#except i couldn't even drive yet so basically south park made me pass my driving test#2020. the secret history saved my life but then it ended quickly bc i started seeing that guy from work and then had an aromantic crisis#& didn't wanna think about anything recent so i descended back into 2017 and became obsessed with south park Again#and then 2023. when things were going so badly that threads became my comfort film and now i forever associate spring with nuclear war#can't wait for april 2026 like. absolutely unreal#ramble
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there's this russian saying "how you meet the new year is also how you're gonna spend it" and since this is my third time meeting the new year essentially on my own, i'm scared 2023 will be another very lonely year for me 😔💔
#i know it's just a saying but i really do belive in that kind of stuff#especially since the last 2 years of my life have been incredibly lonely#but who am i kidding to quote jenny slate there's always a ribbon of loneliness running through my life#2017 - 2020 were especially horrible for me at least now i get to be with my family#i recently went through my 'me' tag on my blog & i've been reblogging posts about loneliness ever since 2014..#so maybe loneliness really is just a part of who i am...#bc even back when i had friends i felt lonely... of course not having any friends definitely makes me feel even worse#but ultimately other people do not save you from loneliness#☁️
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AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?
There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.
When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.
The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.
And then she never posted again.
Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.
Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:
TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.
She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--
I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.
And that was when she got the fuck out.
I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.
I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.
ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.
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These fuckers breaking down my door once more.....
ok wait heres a revised version
#i legit went from one piece to jjba to dsmp to mcyt to qsmp and now back to one piece#nothing is more eternal in my life than myct and anime apparently lmao#ive been watching mcyt since i first got access to youtube and now all my favorite childhood series are 12+ years old#then theres anime specifcally one piece that lives over my shoulder as shit ramps up in the manga#my mom showed me shit like Fruits Basket and Sailor Moon as a kid and i was sold on the medium lmao#(also this is a random saved picture from like 2020 lmao)#one piece lives rent free in my head#same with mcyt lmao
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u know what. fuck it. list of wood
#went back to revisit my 2020 music taste and came back with like#my soul leveled up. from listening to icimi#icimi is so good… best experienced listening at 3 am 👌#and his previous music is good and it slaps but icimi…#rrrrrrrggghaaaaaaaaaaa in case i make it the album that saved my life#“in case i make it” my beloved forever#enough rambling#will wood
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i just scrolled through my blog and i realised i have only two modes: weird pseudo-philosophical rambling. and absolutely unhinged yelling. AND I TELL YOUUUU IT'S SO FUNNYYYYYYY because i spent so long trying to curate my voice and sound like a normal, fun, easy to approach person back when i first made this blog!
then again it's been 3.5 years so i guess my voice changed naturally 🤨 i'm not smart enough for this 😮💨
#nia.musings#sorry even using this tag makes me snort. wdym musing girlie. are u a philosopher. big brain? 🤩🤩 2024 me is bullying 2020 me#also not me saying “im not smart enough for this” for anything that requires me to use more than 2 braincells#couldn't be bothered trying to make sense for more a second#kickstarting my own brainless era and i wear my crown so well#also random but i'm soooooo ready to infest this blog with jjk. i probably won't do that because that piece of art traumatises me#by that i mean i like it and keep up with it far too much for someone who claims theyre traumatised#my emotional scale is SHOT because of it. more pain than preferable. but i do quite enjoy it#and considering i go through sooooo much jjk content on tumblr it's only fair that i showcase it all on my blog :3#i have about 700 draft reblogs on a sideblog i made to save posts when i wasnt active here. i made it this year but theres SO much now#also lowkey regret not being active (though i had no energy) here in 2021 2022 2023 because i had so many thoughts about bnha#and now it's nearly over#like what do you meannnn i didnt get to yap about my spinner era from 2021.#what do you mean my love to hate and back to love arc for dabi didnt get documented in the annals of tumblr dot com#AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MELTDOWN LAST YEAR RE: HAWKS' QUIRK DIDNT GET PUBLICISED#this is all a joke because i for real (FR FR) had ZERO chance of being here because life was putting me through its TRIALS#still is. but that's the way life is. we go on. <3.#speaking of trials. no one here was privy (wait i think i mentioned it in an rb) to my jason grace breakdown when i found out What Happened#sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wasnt made for emotional pain.#also it's funny to me how none of my followers have unfollowed me so far.#are u guys also all inactive or do u just not see me anymore because tumblr's dash algorithm gives u random posts now#thats the only thing i dislike about tumblr now. i LOVE how it lets you edit tags now. also will always miss the old layout
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Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.
By: J
major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention
uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.
uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.
talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!
i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.
hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭
(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)
——————————
yknow,
you havent been a great person
or a good one even.
yet you still question as to why i dont love you
or like you,
maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.
maybe not
i dont really care about your feelings.
at all.
not now.
i put up with this for fucking 14 years.
my entire fucking life.
ive put up with your shit.
but now?
now im done.
you have no idea how badly you fucked up.
when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up”
yknow.
he mightve not been right for what he did.
but,
it was just a mistake.
it was a goddamn mistake.
you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?
how many times ive repeated them?
how many times i fucking meant it?
just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.
you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.
dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”
bullshit.
bullshit you dont.
you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!
you had a goddamn kid
you had two goddamn children.
with this man that you fucking DESPISE.
you knew it back then too.
you told me you did.
you fucking told me.
almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.
nothing.
you have no right to act like that.
no.
you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.
for such a simple mistake.
i dont care if he talked about it since friday.
i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.
you.
you as a goddamn human.
have no right.
none.
in the slighest.
to hit another living being.
for talking about something in your eyes “too much”
or making a mistake.
youre a hypocrite.
need i remind you?
you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.
that youd be a better person.
stop the fights.
stop the beatings.
stop all of it.
and everything would be okay!
.
i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.
youre a liar.
just how you said i was.
you didnt quit.
you didnt stop.
hell two months after you hit him again!
you threatened to kill him and yourself!
cmon.
dont you get it yet?
i fucking despise you.
maybe to a degree i feel shocked.
but.
i really dont think thats it.
youre the root of my problems.
every single last fucking one.
——————
need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?
.
need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?
.
need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?
.
need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?
.
need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?
.
need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?
.
need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?
.
need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?
.
need i remind you of what i seen?
.
need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?
.
need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?
.
i dont care about your feelings anymore.
i gave up years ago.
but now.
i dont feel just numb for you.
i hate you.
in every sense of the word.
.
i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.
.
i dont care about what you think of my appearance.
.
i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.
.
i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.
.
you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.
you yelled at me.
no.
you fucking screamed at me for weeks.
im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.
i dont give a fuck about you.
and yknow?
if.
no.
if it would work.
if it was possible.
id fucking kill you.
id stab you.
right here.
right now.
to end my suffering.
to end his suffering.
all of it.
id end it all.
i dont care if its wrong.
because i know no one else knows about whats going on.
yknow.
only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.
and i havent even met her in person.
yknow.
the people i used to be close with from school.
only just learned you had an affair.
i know that.
the police are do-less.
since you know them.
and hes a man.
not a woman.
it wouldnt be taken seriously.
that he should just fight back.
yknow.
youve ruined what life he has left.
his parents beat him.
his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.
and here.
youve done the exact same thing.
yknow.
he’ll never get to see how love truely is.
because of you.
because of what youve done.
i cant say i really like him either.
but.
that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.
.
yknow whats worse?
how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.
is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.
i know i joke about that night.
but.
really.
hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.
its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years.
and even now.
if you were to as so much to touch me.
while in a fight.
id do it all over again.
you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.
but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.
i wont forgive you for what youve done.
even if he will.
.
i want nothing to do with you.
get out of my life for good.
#j writes badly#woohoo i just love living in a very fucked up house its soo great /sarcasm#ughnf whats worse is that if it werent for my parents rn my life would be quiet literally perfect.#holy shit the being pissed at my mother instead of destroying my arm thing is actually working irl holy shit#(actually shoked abt that tbh)#unironically i wanna make a less oily fuck rn. like so badly. bc my parents went to the store and got eggs so i can#oh yea for the new gen folk that dont know all of the j lore (this has been bothering me bc its coming up on the anniversary)#i know how to break someones fingers and make it look like an accident!#turns out theres a specific way thats more common in abuse versus accidents!#dont ask why i know this 🙂 (or do- it reallt doesnt bother me) (also not that i would- /gen)#this is basically me catching everyone up through j lore im not even kidding tbh#and yes. i have hit my mother before bc she wouldnt stop “playing” as i had hot ramen in my hands!#(look. it wasnt the best move at the time but uh. really saved me in the long run unironically!)#THERES FUCKING GEESE FLYING OVER MY HOUSE RN HOLY SHIT#sorry. uh. i cant help it tho. i heard them and it was cute#oh yea even MORE j lore; i have a mildly unhealthy obsession with “being stronger” because im consitently (and rightfully)#paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me!#when the whole 2020 chrismas thing (when i hit her) happened i had just got done wih archery so i was still pretty strong#but then eating disorder happened and i quit archery. muscle atrophy etc etc#so like. its a big ass thing i think abt every day now!#yea theres a real reason why i consider my friends as “safe” 💀#heheheheeeeee when no where else is safe thats just life ig!#oh god i need to brush my teeth fuck.#hhvtbd but my mother is awake :(#HHGBHGBSNS i need to start doing that at an ealier time bc it keeps getting in the way of things#again. how the fuck does smth so simple as brushing my teeth make so much feel better 😭😭 its weird#sighh well! time to go back to trying to find drawing inspo!#(i unironically cannot use my own trauma as a drawing point bc it makes me actually suicidal. thats why i write it! /srs)#CHOKEKSSSJ ok ill hush now!
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Controversially Young Girlfriend
Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men.
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns.
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. i do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything! <33
authors note: this is an idea I had that I really needed to write. I’d love to make this a series if you guys want more, just let me know! This is only my second time writing fanfiction and my first time writing for Hugh, please be nice lol. Thank you for reading! <3
Part one: breakup and new beginnings
Being a young girl living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere made it seem impossible to live your dreams of becoming a singer. You grew up in a tiny little town in Louisiana called Minden. With a population of less than 15,000 people, the closest ‘big’ city being Shreveport, growing up was pretty boring. You had big dreams of making it big and making it the fuck out of the country. Minden wasn’t always so bad. It was a nice community that had fun things here and there, but you craved more.
Once you graduated highschool back in 2020, you focused on working and saving as much money as you could, only buying essentials and equipment to help make music. You took a few online classes on producing and tried your best to make whatever song was bouncing around in your head come to life. It took a year for you to feel confident enough to release your first few songs out into the world. So in July of 2021, you teased a song on TikTok to your small following. You started to gain a few more followers here and there, it was exciting. At the end of August, you released your first song titled ‘to the point’ and it blew up on the clock app. You gained a hefty following after that, on the brink of hitting one million.
By the end of 2022, deciding on Los Angeles, you had finally saved enough money to move, so you were packing your bags and heading out. Your agent was ecstatic about the move because it meant more opportunities for your career. After releasing a few more songs over the past year, you hired Stacy to help you manage everything.
Fastwording to 2024, your dreams have come true and you have been an established and respected artist for almost two years. You started to build a reputation as someone who was dedicated and passionate about their craft- always being involved in any creative process. It was bliss. Lately though, you’ve gained another reputation, the controversial young girlfriend, a whore, a gold digger. Since you’ve been in the spotlight, you’ve had your fair share of dating history and if they all happened to be older men, so what? It wasn’t something you had planned on but older men were just built differently. They were so much sexier and put together than the guys your age. They knew what they were doing and how to treat a woman right. You were so tired of being asked out through instagram direct messages, you wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to talk to you in person, and that seemed to only come from men twice your age. You weren’t complaining though, you enjoyed it.
Your last ‘scandalous’ relationship ended up being far more public than you intended it to be. In the beginning, the men you were seen with were never anything serious, just dates or one night stands. Though with Pedro it was different. You dated him for six months before it all came crashing down and you felt heartbroken. He was the sweetest man you’d ever been with and it all ended because the hate from fans on our age gap was too much for him. It was an ugly breakup and you were positive that he wouldn’t want to be associated with you anymore, even as friends.
-
“I should have picked a different song.” You huff in frustration. Today you were going to be performing on BBC’s Radio 1 Live Lounge and as requested, you'd be performing your own song and a cover of your choosing. When Stacy first presented this opportunity to you, it had only been a month after your recent breakup and naturally you chose to cover ‘THE GREATEST’ by Billie Eilish. Now that you were mostly over Pedro, the song seemed silly to sing and you weren’t feeling as vocally confident now that you were here.
“Babe, you’re gonna kill it! Just let your emotions flow, give the fans what they want.” Stacy is sitting across the room as she comforts you. She’s fidgeting with your vocal humidifier, attempting to put it together before you start warming up. Her advice isn’t terrible, she’s right. You’d been pretty silent on the subject matter, steering clear of social media so you wouldn’t say anything stupid. Rumors of your breakup had been all over the headlines but there hasn’t been confirmation from either of you. Singing this song today would definitely stir the pot again and make everyone realize that it is done between you two.
“You’re right.”
“As always. Here, start warming up the money maker.” She laughs while handing you the humidifier.
“I really hope he doesn’t watch it. I’d literally smash my head into a brick wall out of embarrassment…”
Placing the humidifier over your mouth and nose, you sit there letting your mind wander. Having your personal life exposed to everyone really sucked and hiding your boyfriends wasn’t something you wanted to do, but you knew that in the future it was something that would have to happen.
“I think I’m taking a break from men.” You let out proudly, glancing over at Stacy.
“Whatever you say girl.” You could hear the doubt lingering in her tone and the roll of her eyes.
“Ugh… You don’t believe me do you? I can totally break off from men and be my own person for once.”
“I’m not trying to doubt you babe. It’s just…You tend to attract men like a magnet and you have some severe daddy issues.” She's typing away on her laptop as if she didn’t just completely disrespect you.
“I don’t have daddy issues.” You say flatly. “I happen to have a very loving father who was always present in my life, so the whole dating older men thing does NOT stem from daddy issues. Thank you very much.” You say matter of factly.
“Hm..Well I give it a week.”
-
After a few sound checks for your mic and band, you perform your first song. You chose a more upbeat song off your debut album to start, given that you were about to lay your heart out of the line. It was honestly kind of awkward performing in this setting. There was a booth in front of you that had the sound board and all of the other electronic stuff that you didn’t understand. Then right to the left of that, the cameras were positioned with a group of crew members sitting behind them. It always felt awkward performing to smaller audiences.
The first song went by smoothly, earning a few cheers from the people in the room. As the band prepared for the next song, you could see the door in the booth open and two figures walk in. You weren’t wearing your glasses or contacts since it was supposed to be a short day, so you really couldn’t make out who had just walked in. You assumed more workers came in and brushed it off.
“All ready?” A man behind the camera asks and you give a thumbs up.
You somehow managed to get through the song without having any vocal mess ups. It was a challenging song and you'd definitely have to text Billie later to give her some credit. A few tears slipped here and there, feeling the emotions that you thought were gone slowly be released. You pulled yourself together and you felt really proud of the performance as a whole, showing the world the potential your voice had.
A few soft claps are dying out as everyone starts cleaning up the room. You’re reaching down to grab your water bottle when you feel someone rushing up towards you.
“Ahhh you did great babe but um two hot dudes will be walking through that door any second!” Stacy is whispering and all you could do was give her a confused look before the door opens. You squint trying to make out the two figures.
“God you’re talented!” You hear the voice before you see the face.
“Oh um, thank you so much.” You let out not really sure who you were speaking to. Once the two men get into view, your jaw drops slightly.
“HOLY SHIT!” You yell a little too loudly. Slapping your hand over your mouth, you hear a very rich man laugh coming from a very good looking man. For some reason, whoever is in charge of the fate of the universe has blessed you with the presence of Ryan Reynalds and Hugh Jackaman.
“Oh my god i’m so sorry, that’s literally so embarrassing. I just couldn’t see who you were at first.”
“It’s okay sweetheart.” They both wear big smiles on their faces.
“I’m y/n, it’s so nice to meet y’all, i’m a big fan!” You gush out, trying your best to refrain from fangirling.
“We’re big fans as well. We were next door interviewing for the radio show, when we heard you were recording over here. We ran over here to try to catch you.” Ryan lets out.
“No shit! That’s so cool. I really appreciate it.” Before the conversation could continue, Ryan is being called over by someone, leaving Hugh and yourself alone.
“Hows Pedro, haven't seen him in awhile.” Hugh asks genuinely, giving you a small smile. It caught you off guard completely. You racked your brain trying to think of a time in your six month relationship that Pedro mentioned Hugh at all but nothing came up.
“Oh I uh- I wouldn’t know. We aren’t together anymore.” Your voice is soft, trying not to make this any more awkward.
“Shit. I’m so sorry, with the way he spoke about you, I thought you’d be together longer…” He trails off.
“Yea me too.. he couldn’t handle the heat I guess.” You shrug.
“Well, his loss yea?” He smiles trying to cheer you up.
“Yea..” You say softly, your voice matching your smile. You take a moment to really look at him and he’s beyond handsome. He’s aged but in a way that makes you wish you were able to see the years go by with him. He was tall, almost towering over you, and his muscles were practically popping out of his shirt.
The same guy that was walking to Ryan, gathers the three of you for a picture for the BBC socials. You stand in the middle, both men placing their arms behind either side of you. Hugh’s hand was placed on the small of your back. You looked up at him quickly, his face already smiling at the camera. You hear the camera go off a few times, causing you to look that way as well. Once the cameraman was satisfied, everyone gave their goodbyes and the room cleared out.
-
Later that night you were scrolling through your phone when a text popped up from Stacy.
Stacypoo <33: I told you. You couldn’t even go a week. ;)
The text is accompanied by a screenshot of a notification stating that “‘thehughjackman’ started following you!”. You rushed to open instagram and went to your followers to search from his name. You stared at his page for a few minutes before following him back.
While you had control over your own social media, someone handled all of your business related content. You went on your page to see that the picture that was taken at BBC earlier today was already posted with one comment standing out beyond the rest.
Thehughjackman: Great meeting you sweetheart! :)
Thank you for reading <3
part two
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman smut#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fluff#hugh jackman fic#hugh jackman x female reader#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman oneshot#hugh jackman x popstar!reader#popstar!reader#f!reader#afab reader
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Some (slightly old) enstars updates~ I got Nazuna to B-rank and was able to get all 5 copies of Antique Legends Mika (there were only 4 in my profile because I still needed Nazuna in the center lmao) Ritsu's just there because he looks cute in that card and I love him
#coyo speaks#I'm lying pretty low from here on out with regards to event running#like I'm going for a copy of Euthanasia Ritsu rn and definitely want a copy of Sora in the next event#but my plan is to get 5 copies of FS2 Nazuna which is a gacha card#so I'm saving up as much as I can to afford that 😭#rn I'm keeping an eye out for whenever jp finally decides to drop Nazuna's second event#part of me reeeeeaaaally wants it to be a reconciliation themed tour with Nazuna and Mika as the 5 stars#I hate going multi-ir on tours#but it's cheaper and I would absolutely want to max both of them in that case 💖#Mika's already had 3 events though (2 unit events and 1 tour)#every day of my life I am sobbing that they gave Nazuna ONE event back in mid 2020#and that's fuckin it#here we are 2023 and other characters have had 3+ events#and he hasn't had anything#I could rant about that forever but w/e lol#I'm keeping an eye out so that I can start planning for its EN release so I can max out his card 💖
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I just finished my 19th sketchbook and genuinely wild to me that I’ve been drawing so much the past 5 years, never thought I would have a hobby that didn’t make me feel like shit 😭
#I made music my career#and so started learning to draw in my (limited) free time#and now it’s something that I just… do#and people are very nice about it!!! everybody who’s been nice to me over the past 5 years learning to draw#YOU saved my life legitimately#when I (temporarily) dropped out of college#I spent all of my time drawing and posting it online (to now deleted accounts)#and it kept me from losing my mind after moving back home (and this was also in 2020 😭)#and truly everybody has been very kind#best aspect of my life is art
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Tina hi hello again im the same anon from yesterday thinking about studying to be a nurse,, one more question please lol were you studying at UBA? and if so how did you prepare for the CBC? Because I’m checking all the unis i could study but everyone tells me that’s the best choice but first i have to go through that introduction and I’m honestly terrified :(
yep i studied at uba! honestly i didn't prepare for the cbc, i treated it like another high school year, plus since i did it when the pandemic first hit i treated the whole thing as a vacation lmao. unfortunately it's true that it has a lot to do with whether you went to a good high school or not-- i found it super easy and very basic, especially math (i was awful at math in hs but for the cbc final i studied 3 days before and got an 8). idk how different in person classes/exams are! i did ipc and icse through uba xxi which i recommend you do it too bc they are the easier subjects and you don't have to worry about going to actual classes, and they also say that chemistry is easier through uba xxi than cbc (i did cbc so idk how true it is)
#also be careful when signing up for the classes bc cbc gives med students the chance to choose between math and mathematical analysis#for the love of god don't chose mathematical analysis it's much much harder than simple math and you'll want to kys for choosing it lmao#if u have any more questions u can ask me :3#and also check out consultascbcuba on ig. they saved my life back in 2020#they have a lot of more technical posts like what is siu and all that#ask
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