#they opened up about their experience in that relationship in the hopes that ppl would enact revenge against their ex for them

[grapeskeeto]

"why didn't my friend group drop my ex after I told them how awful it was to be with him?" because he told us how awful it was to be with you.

[rawbin-hsr]

Hi!! Saw ur taking requests, do you mind making some hcs for how a queerplatonic relationship with aven would be like? Demiro/ace aven is so dear to me, and being on the grayromantic spectrum myself, I really wanna just like, have this super deep bond with him where we're both each other's most important person without a doubt and physically affectionate but not like, romantic if u know what I meann (plus, I think a platonic relationship that goes past friendship and full of care would help him so much)

but I understand a lot of ppl aren't aware of how qpps work, so it's ok if you ignore this!! <3

ANON. ANON I LOVE YOU. YOU GET IT.

As someone on the aroace spectrum (I’m like 90% sure I can’t romantically love people; I only experience infatuation for three months at most before realising that I actually only want a close friendship 💀) I love love love this take on Aventurine and I’m so happy you’re asking me to do hcs on this !!!

This turned out a LOT longer than I planned and became like a whole story not just headcanons HELP I’m sorry bro I hope you don’t mind 😭😭🙏🙏 At the start it’s not even about being qpps it’s just about him learning to tolerate you that was not on purpose I apologise deeply, I promise the hcs come in at the end 💀

Queerplatonic Aventurine x Reader Headcanons

CW: queer dynamics, cursing, Aventurine’s messed up perception of people around him, Aventurine in general tbh (he's toxic I'm gonna be so real 😭), brief mention of sex but nothing actually happens, very soft and sweet (mostly), a lil bit of hurt/comfort, small mention of his sexual trauma towards the end, gender-neutral reader

Lmk if I missed anything !

Also sorry anon I forgot you specified demiro/ace he ended up basically just purely aroace 😭 I hope that doesn't matter too much </3

You’re not like everyone else, Aventurine realises quickly when he meets you.

Most people he surrounds himself with are closed off and guarded, but you are, surprisingly, not. In fact, your honesty is a bit… disarming. So complete he finds himself at a bit of a loss.

He thinks he doesn’t like you at first. He can’t avoid you, as you’re integral to this new project he’s working on, but he wishes he could. Something about you is deeply off-putting. He knows it is the way you never lie.

You’d think total honesty would be a weakness. He knows it would be for him. If he laid out all his cards on the table, he wouldn’t last another day. But the way you always leave yourself open is a new kind of defence in itself that he has never seen anyone else utilise before. When he tries to pry information out of you, you flatly tell him you can’t tell him that, that you know what he’s doing. You’re blatantly putting up barriers with him, and it drives him mad because usually, he can do a push and pull but that doesn’t work with you. It’s hard to be sneaky when you see right through him and stop him.

One day you tell him you would like to grab a coffee with him. He is sure you are flirting, that you mean it as a date. He is sure you want him, and though he usually limits these kinds of interactions to only flirting, nothing more, he’s getting frustrated with the way you never give. Perhaps you’d give more easily if he pretended to leave himself vulnerable to you?

But it’s not a date. You don’t flirt with him, but you don’t talk about business either. What’s worse, you shut him down when he flirts with you. It’s upsetting. Are you toying with him? Is this a weird power play? You don’t seem like that kind of person, but Aventurine is familiarly acquainted with the knowledge most people are not what they seem.

Maybe his anger gets the better of him at one point, an hour into the not-date when you’ve dragged him to the park to feed the ducks. He asks you what the purpose of this is, if you aren’t intending to get into his pants.

You tell him you just wanted to hang out. That you think he needs a friend.

He’s infuriated, because he can tell you’re being sincere.

He leaves, snarking that he already has friends. (He does not. Not really.)

But he can’t stop thinking about it. And he can’t avoid you, because you’re still needed for the mission and now, he’s sure he hates you.

You continue to be nice to him for some reason, even after that fiasco ?? He’s never encountered someone who’s so willing to just be nice to others merely for the sake of being nice. What kind of fucked up ulterior motives are you hiding? What sort of closet freak are you?

Aventurine knows, logically, that some people are just nice. It’s unreasonable to think every single person is as selfish as he is. He grew up surrounded by people who were just nice. But last time he had the fortune of actually interacting with such people, he was shorter than the desk at his office.

He wants to pry into your head, learn everything about you, know what it would be like to be your friend like you had offered. He wants you to fuck off to the other end of the galaxy so he never has to see you ever again.

He accepts when you invite him to go to the arcade with you.

It’s… weirdly soothing.

You’re good company, as much as he hates you. You’re funny and witty and playful and kind. There is no hidden agenda behind anything you do. You insist upon paying for half the tickets you play with at the arcade, even though he’s sure he has at least thirty times the amount of disposable income you have.

He wins most of the games, of course. You win less than half. He excels at the luck-based games, and he’s not half bad at the more skill-based ones, whereas you’re best at the latter. You stay away from the luck-based ones, and the ones you do attempt you fail every time. He’s honestly impressed by how unlucky you are. But at one point you still insist upon winning something for him, even though you both know he’d win it quicker himself.

At the end of the outing, you hug him, tell him you enjoyed yourself. He finds his chest feels oddly warm as you say it. It takes a moment to register the feeling as that of happiness, the sensation of real joy something unfamiliar to him. He smiles and hugs you back.

Maybe he doesn’t hate you.

You’re the first person he truly thinks of as a friend. Though he claims he has many, he knows he doesn’t really. The closest he had before you was maybe Topaz, or Ratio, but Topaz seems to view him as more of an annoying younger brother sometimes and he clearly gets on Ratio’s nerves. You're the first person who makes him feel truly... liked. A weird concept.

It’s not for his status or his money or his reputation. You turn him down when he tries to spend money on you. He’s not sure if that annoys him or if it makes him weirdly giddy.

Even long after his mission has ended, and he no longer needs you, you stick around. He lets you. He starts coming around for you too.

It’s fun to be around you. Again, you’re very good company. Smarter and funnier than most dimwits at the IPC. He considers inviting you to work under him, he’s sure the pay he could offer you would be better than what you currently make, but he doesn’t want to drag you too far into the mess that is his life.

He starts sleeping over at your house uninvited. He makes himself at home in your apartment. Your place is so much nicer than his, even if it’s smaller, run down and objectively a worse place to live in. The pipes in your sink clog too easily and the lights in the bathroom always flicker, despite your best attempts to fix it. But the rooms are all reminiscent of you, of what kind of person you are. Photos of your loved ones line the walls, trinkets you’ve picked up from various places decorate your shelves, and even though it looks messy he knows it’s all very organised from your point of view. It’s so different from his cold, clean, impersonal penthouse.

You cuddle him sometimes. Hug him and pull him into your chest when you watch movies. You play with his hair. You trace patterns on the back of his hand. Surely, those are all things lovers do? But your eyes never linger on his lips, you never look at him with yearning — he can tell you already have everything you want. It makes him feel… relieved.

He likes it when you touch him. He never liked being touched before, but you’re warm and gentle without being too light with him. You don’t touch him like he’s fragile, but you don’t intend to test his limits. You never stray from the safe areas on his body. You never touch with intent to go any further.

He feels safe.

Whenever he’s not out on business, he comes home to you. Will you have grown tired of him by next time, he always wonders. And the answer is always no. You’re always happy to see him.

He frequently finds himself thinking about you. He frequently finds himself missing you when he’s away. He sees things that remind him of you everywhere, and often wishes you were with him. All symptoms of being in love, he’s heard, but he doesn’t think he’s in love? To be fair, he has never experienced true attraction, and what he feels for you is certainly deeper and more intimate than what he’s ever felt for anyone else, so maybe he is in love with you.

But does romance not entail wanting to kiss you? Does romance not entail wanting to see you naked? Does romance not entail wanting to have sex? He doesn’t particularly crave any of those things.

He’s heard of ‘butterflies’ in your belly when seeing the one you love. He never feels that when he sees you. He only feels a deep sense of comfort, of contentment.

But he doesn’t like the thought of you being with anyone else the way you are with him. Jealousy is a sign of romantic feelings, yes? So maybe he does love you that way after all.

But he never asks you to be his partner. Whenever he considers it, something oddly heavy settles in his gut, and he doesn’t understand why. Why would the thought of being your partner leave him with dread? You’d make a wonderful lover, he knows. You already make a wonderful…

… friend? Can he really call you just a friend?

You call him or text him every day to make sure he’s okay. You send him photos of things that reminds him of you. You cook him meals when he visits you and you buy him gifts even though he could very well buy things for himself. You cuddle him and hug him and you sometimes even, albeit playfully, kiss his knuckles or the top of his head and you let him sleep in your bed with you.

Calling you only a ‘friend’ diminishes your worth, does it not? He calls everyone he meets ‘friend’. He can’t reduce you to something so… insignificant.

So he asks you one day, when you’re both sat on opposite sides of your couch, your legs splayed out over his lap as you eat popcorn. He asks:

“What are we?”

You look at him. And you smile.

“I don’t know.”

He blinks. You sound so serene as you say it. Are you not worried about this? Why do you seem so unconcerned with what he is to you?

Sensing his discomfort, you set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table, and scoot closer to him. His arms automatically wrap around your waist as you shift yourself to lean against him, leaning down to place your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t need to label what we are. I’m happy with things as they are. Are you?”

He nuzzles his face into your hair, inhaling the by now familiar scent of your shampoo.

“I am.”

“You don’t sound entirely convinced.”

He huffs, pulling you closer.

“… Maybe I don’t want you to treat others the way you treat me.”

(He doubts you would. You have more integrity than he’s ever had: he’s aware there is some level of mutual understanding that whatever you are is something exclusive.)

You laugh.

“You think I treat others like you?”

“Can’t be sure,” he hums playfully, pinching your side. “Who knows, maybe you say that to all the guys.”

“I don’t like ‘all the guys’,” you point out. “I only like you this way.”

“What does ‘this way’ mean, then?”

You pull back to look at him. Gaze as warm and kind as always, a smile on your lips.

“Well, I love you a lot. A lot more than I love others. I’m not sure what answer you want.”

You’ve never explicitly stated the word ‘love’ before. Something hot and giddy fills his chest, something awfully childish, but he ignores it.

“Do you want me to be your… boyfriend?” he asks hesitantly. He’s not sure what he feels about the idea himself.

“I mean, if that’s what you want,” you shrug, sounding so casual about the idea that he doubts you’re that enthusiastic about it. (Should he feel offended?) “I just don’t want anything to change between us. I really like what we’ve got going on.”

He leans back into you, burying his face into your hair again. His arms squeeze your waist.

“… I like what we’ve got going on, too,” he admits. The honesty feels a little less foreign on his tongue than it used to, before he met you.

“I guess it’d be easier to call you my boyfriend than my ‘very close friend who eats all my food and sleeps in my bed half the time’,” you add teasingly. He snorts, pulling back just enough to shoot you a playful glare.

“Food that I pay you back double for,” he points out. You snicker, but don’t respond.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” You ask instead after a moment, reaching up to play with his hair. He leans into the touch.

He’s quiet for a moment, considering the question.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I guess you’re right that it’d be easier to call each other that. Maybe we should go for it.”

“Sounds good,” you agree, and that’s that.

And nothing changes in your relationship. All that changes is the title.

You cuddle and you hug and you spend time together. Whenever you flirt, it’s more of an inside joke than anything else. You go on not-dates nearly once a week, whenever he’s home to do that.

He doesn’t tell people what you really are to him. He doesn’t even have the words to describe it himself. It doesn’t matter to him than anyone else knows either. Maybe he’s just a little bit happy, even, to get to keep the secret of what you are to himself. It somehow feels more special when only the two of you know.

He starts confiding in you. Telling you things he would not tell anyone else. Things he previously thought he would bring to his grave. About himself, about his past, his thoughts and his feelings. You always hold him, let him speak until it’s off his chest, and you murmur comforting words. He feels so much lighter after, every time.

You tell him your secrets too. Your doubts and your worries. He holds you in return, and tries to soothe your concerns. He knows he’s not as good at it as you, but you seem to appreciate it anyways.

He doesn’t trust anyone else. Only you. You’re the only one he knows he can always turn to, the only person he knows for sure doesn’t mean him any harm.

He brings you gifts and trinkets he finds when he’s away. He’s gotten pretty good at figuring out what sort of things you like. You always give him the sweetest smile when he does, thank him with a hug, and put the item to use right away. Whether that means displaying a decoration somewhere along your already overfilled shelves, putting on a bracelet or trying out a new kitchen appliance that night. He starts to think that the point of wealth is to give you all the things you could want.

For some reason, the intimate nature of your relationship doesn’t scare him. The fact that you’ve told him he’s ’more like the closest friend you could ever want to have than a lover’ puts him at ease. Your commitment to one another doesn’t feel as frightening that way.

You prioritise him over your other commitments. You tell him he’s your ‘favourite person’, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop feeling warm in his chest when he thinks about it. You’re his favourite, too.

Sorry I seriously ran out of steam for this format here, moving on to headcanons from another perspective because I am NOT DONE !!!! (next part won't have been proof-read at all sorry guys it will just be unhinged rambling)

I don't think Aventurine would necessarily know what queerplatonic means, (and the way I've written Reader here they probably wouldn't go out of their way to research it either lol I think they're just the type to be like "well I'm happy so why would I need to know every little detail about what this is ?? 😊") and he doesn't really understand the nature of your relationship himself HELP

He just knows it's not romantic, and that really puts him at ease

I think Aventurine is like. EXTREMELY toxic in a romantic relationship because the though of that sort of commitment scares him on a very deep and personal level and it FREAKS. HIM. OUT. but I think a platonic relationship, even if it's just as deep, freaks him out a little less. It just feels different yknow ?

Idk how to formulate myself but I think that, after being looked at for like basically his whole life as a commodity (and, even worse, a literal sex object), the thought of being looked at without ANY sexual desire or romantic interest just really kind of puts him at ease.

Especially in this read of him as demi/aroace, I think he'd appreciate being seen in a purely platonic light. I personally don't think he is aroace in the way I normally write him, but even in the way I usually write him I do think a queerplatonic relationship would be deeply comforting for him

Like, think reader being aroace and being in a queerplatonic relationship with him and he's like actually in love with them,,, I don't think he'd mind that too much. He'd think it was so nice that you love him enough to be in a relationship even if you don't romantically love him. Even if it would be nice too if you did desire him that way, he'd like it either way

Sorry got off track there mb

Queerplatonic relationships are tricky to write because there is no real "norm" for what they entail like,, fuck man I'M aroace and I barely know what it means to be in a qpps

Like,, from my understanding it can be essentially the same as a "normal" relationship where you kiss and get married and have kids and all that stuff but you do it without romantic intent

or it can be a friendship that just goes really really deep, and you're just like,,,, idk roomates PLS

But I think a qpps with Aventurine would be somewhere inbetween what others would think a "normal" romantic relationship would be and just a very close friendship

I already mentioned cuddles, and like chaste kisses to more "safe/platonic" areas (forehead, top of head, hands etc). You sleep in the same bed and you basically go on dates ("not-dates" lol). I think he'd be fine with like kisses to the lips and playful flirting, but he wouldn't want to make out or have sex. He would however love to cuddle naked lol (the intimacy without any sexual intent,,,, yeahyeah I hope you get me here I lovveee lovelove the idea of just touching him and it's just sweet and urghhghh)

Everyone else definitely thinks the two of you are in love and neither of you correct people because who cares

Esp Aventurine I don't think he WANTS others to know what you are to a point where he'll actively try to make it seem more like a romantic relationship in front of others

Because what you are is very precious to him, and he maybe feels just slightly maybe just a bit irrationally possessive over the concept of your relationship PLS

Like no he doesn't want anyone to understand your bond. That is SPECIAL. It is only for him and you to understand back off

I love my toxic unhealthy mentally deranged king

I think I've said everything I wanted to say now so I'm ending it off here. Worst case scenario I'll be back with a part 2 or a reblog to add more LMAO I just can't shut up bro

♡ ∩_∩ („• ֊ •„)♡ |￣U U￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| | Thanks for reading! | ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

Thanks for reading I appreciate it !!! I hope this was at least somewhat comprehensible <3 Remember that my inbox is open and I lovelovelove to receive requests <3

[noangeleither]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

[sponfawn]

MTH Meta - Sisterhood of the PPGs

For anon who asked for a post on the Girls' relationships, specifically wrt Buttercup not opening up to her sisters, Blossom not telling Buttercup about what happened with Brick, and why they never actually address their issues. Hope you like long posts.

Full disclosure, I am an only child and my friends who had siblings mostly had brothers or a large age gap with their sisters, so if anyone else has other thoughts, pls feel free to share!

Blossom and Buttercup are really interesting to me. In some ways they have extremely similar motivations, it's just that the methods and approaches they use are near opposites. Ive said in another post that they both try to prevent being objectified by dressing and acting in certain ways. But to go into this further, they both have quite a bit of internalized misogyny behind that. They are both very conscious of their reputations and take measures to maintain them, and they both have self-imposed ideas about what it means about them if they don't reinforce those roles/expectations. Those roles and reputations are very tied up in their identities. They are both proud ppl who like to keep their emotional lives quite private, and who see certain displays of emotion as shows of weakness. Where Blossom uses self control, rationality, and "maturity" to hide her vulnerability, Buttercup uses anger, violence, and occasionally humor.

I think I will start with Buttercup, because I was a lot like her for many years, and I think I understand her better than Blossom.

Buttercup has built her very public reputation on being the "toughest" of the Girls since they were 5 (really since they were created). Since they were kids, she has teased Bubbles for being openly emotional and sensitive. And I think for many people, especially kids, when you have a reputation for something it can be very difficult to step outside of those expectations. It can be easier if one has a change of environment where people don't have preconceptions of who you are or what you're like. But Buttercup has never had that luxury, because as a public figure who has only ever lived in Townsville, everyone knows who she is and they all have certain expectations of what she's like.

This is also true of Blossom and Bubbles, but I think at least in Bubbles' case her expectations are a bit less restraining. At least emotionally. People tend to underestimate her, but she is comfortable with putting them in their place when she feels it's needed (see the face she made that actually scared Brick when she visited the Boys' apartment for the first time). Her reputation is being cute and "the joy and the laughter" of the Girls, and while that can also be restrictive in theory, we don't really see that holding her back from getting mad or upset.

Brene Brown has a theory on shame (through a v binary gender lens but I think it's applicable here). For most (cishet) men, she uses a metaphor of a box. Inside the box are behaviors/etc that a person considers acceptable in terms of masculinity, and behaviors outside of the box tend to elicit shame because they do not adhere to the perceived "rules" of masculinity and thus show "weakness". Obviously Buttercup is not a cishet man, and I'm not sure that I would go so far as to say she experiences shame outside that box. But her reputation and internalized misogyny act similarly, as a box outside of which certain behaviors are "weak" and seen as embarrassing. We can see this when she tells Butch to act like she didn't cry, when she thinks about how stupid it was for her to get a dress with Mitch, when she is at the kitchen store and hopes that no one she knows sees her there. She has a set of self-imposed "rules" about what she "shouldn't" show to other people that ends up restricting her a lot in terms of her ability to be vulnerable with others. With Mitch, she was able to break some of those "rules" because he knew her in a way she thought her sisters and others didn't, and because he reinforced her private (albeit limited) vulnerability with approval and affection.

Buttercup communicates more through actions than words. It may partly be just a natural preference but for some ppl it's because verbal communication can feel more vulnerable or difficult, because it is so specific and straightforward, if that makes sense. In the og show, Buttercup even has trouble with the vulnerability of just saying sorry. Angry confrontations and physical fights are her forte. Otherwise emotional confrontations? Not so much. We see this with Mitch and the guys in the earlier chapters, and even with Butch when she feels like a moment is too intimate and distances herself.

She has a sort of fear of other people perceiving her vulnerability to begin with, and i think in some ways that aversion may be even stronger or more deep seated with her sisters. If her experience was anything like mine, showing signs of mildly uncharacteristic softness may have been met with teasing or may have been brought up later at inopportune moments. We know that Bubbles teases her, and while idt Bubbles would do so if she thought Buttercup was genuinely hurt and vulnerable (though she didn't pull punches around Buttercup's breakup on their first day of the winter semester), small jabs like that over the years can go a long way to reinforcing some behaviors and discouraging certain others. There's also the fact that sometimes the people who have known you intimately your whole life can be the hardest to break behavioral patterns with. Our brains create these sort of well-worn paths with thought and behavioral patterns we use often, and those are the paths we automatically take. And if those paths have been reinforced for your whole life, it's especially hard to break out of. It's definitely possible, but one has to work hard for it.

All of this is to say - there are over a decade of precedents that likely reinforced Buttercup's struggles with verbal communication and vulnerability, and a lot of it is tied up with her sense of self and others' expectations. Teens in general also tend to be less than amazing at communication especially if they haven't had therapy. At the moment, there are more reasons than not why Buttercup doesn't confide in or bring up her complicated relationship with her sisters and the ways she feels hurt by them. As frank and unfiltered as she can be on the surface, she is very avoidant and cagey about her internal experiences when it doesn't directly involve anger.

Blossom, interestingly enough, has a LOT of the same issues with public perception, identity, and vulnerability. Going back to Brene Brown, she uses a metaphor of a web to describe cishet women's experiences, where there are many things that one has to juggle perfectly that intersect with various roles in one's identity (eg one's roles as a parent, spouse, employee, daughter, friend, etc). Perceived shortfalls in any of these areas can trigger shame associated with one or more of the various roles one has tied to their identity. That's not worded the best, but I digress. Again I don't necessarily think it goes as far as shame for Blossom but it's certainly connected to guilt for her. Incidentally, the way to combat shame according to Brene Brown? Honest vulnerability, which fosters connection to others.

Blossom holds herself to a standard above everyone else, including her sisters, because she has inhabited the "leader" role since she was created. She takes a lot of pride in that role, and strives to live up to it, including with regards to shows of emotion. She is very concerned with appearances (I don't mean this in a judgy way) in the sense that she is always thinking about how others perceive her, how she can be a good role model, how she needs to have restraint and self control, how she "shouldn't" slip up or make mistakes because she's not human, she's "better". And this is a role and an identity she has held for so long that she doesn't really know who she is without Townsville to protect (see her specific anxiety about college visits and her future outside of Townsville).

So while it says that Bubbles and Blossom are closer in general because they shared more interests growing up, after Brick rejected her, I don't think she wanted anyone to see her crying. I don't think it was just Buttercup she didn't want seeing, but Bubbles happened to walk in while she was crying. She was trying to muffle her sobs with her pillow, was trying to calm down before anyone came up, but Bubbles found her when she couldn't deny that she was still actively trying to stifle her sobs. I think letting Bubbles comfort her was already a big step for Blossom in terms of emotional vulnerability, but it was made a little bit easier by the fact that it was Bubbles who isn't ashamed to cry and talks openly about her feelings.

When Buttercup saw her at school, she had already kind of calmed down from crying and was getting ready to go home. She was also at school, a setting where she is always "on" and doesn't allow herself to be vulnerable, so she was inclined to deny that something was really wrong - it was embarrassing to her. Buttercup coming into the room added more tension to an already raw situation in which Blossom's pride was hurt - both in terms of being rejected and in terms of being so emotional about it when she's supposed to be "mature". I think Buttercup wanted to spring into action, to know what was going on so she could try to fix or help in her own way, which resulted in her concern and then frustration, but Blossom was already making a big step telling Bubbles. I think the fact that Buttercup also sees crying as a sort of "weakness" affected Blossom's willingness to share with Buttercup. Blossom herself sees her control over her emotions as a virtue, so being so emotional also seems like a "weakness" to her. The last thing she wants on top of heartbreak is to come off weak, because as much as Buttercup and Bubbles are her sisters, she is their leader. Bubbles is closer to her and doesn't attach that meaning to emotion or crying, making it easier to show that vulnerability with her. There's also the fact that Blossom may have thought that as protective and impulsive as Buttercup is, she might've made a big deal out of it with Brick for hurting Blossom. And that would be yet another humiliation, albeit fully unintentional.

As for why they haven't addressed the elephant shoved in the back of the proverbial room, I think there's a couple reasons. In Bubbles' words, Buttercup lets things build up until they explode. It's hard to have a productive talk about deep seated, years old issues when everyone's emotions are already really heightened. And that seems to be the only time it comes up at least from Buttercup's end. Bubbles is by far the most emotionally intelligent and communicative one, but she doesn't like arguments or emotional conflicts so I don't think she's very inclined to bring things up that could start them if she can avoid it. We sort of see this with Will when she defuses his anger by calling herself a "bad girlfriend" and doesn't address a lot of the things that make her unhappy in their relationship until their breakup. Blossom seems to come from the perspective that if someone has an issue, they should bring it up in a mature way without becoming very emotional or defensive (or aggressive). That it is their responsibility and they only have themselves to blame if they don't (see her conversation with Bubbles after their first monster fight). And in general I do think that is a fairly decent communication policy - ppl can't read minds. But it's not a realistic way to improve Blossom and Buttercup's relationship specifically imo.

We don't really see Blossom asking Buttercup what's going on either, and we know that Buttercup isn't one to volunteer information about what's going on with her. Tho it's very possible that Blossom has tried to ask in the past but has given up after Buttercup rejected those attempts. I think Buttercup also tends to get more defensive with Blossom in apprehension of criticism. Blossom is more critical of her than Bubbles, which doesn't necessarily inspire her to confide in her if she was ever inclined to do so. In fact, most of their interactions throughout the fic involve competitiveness/rivalry, teasing, and/or scolding. Mostly scolding (if only cuz Buttercup doesn't care about cussing or behaving "properly" in more official settings).

Putting two kids/teens with a high aversion to vulnerability and opposite strategies of addressing issues in the same household tends to lead to conflict that doesn't get fully addressed/resolved without intervention. At least in my experience.

As a tangential addendum, I do find it really interesting that Blossom confided in Bubbles yet not the Professor, and that Buttercup confided in the Professor yet not her sisters. And I think that is also at least partly a function of the roles and reputations they take on. Blossom is the competent leader who is supposed to be ok. She doesn't want to worry the Professor. She might even feel like it might disappoint him for her to be so shaken over something "trivial" and a rowdyruff boy to boot (I don't think he would be but I digress). Buttercup also doesn't want the Professor to know about how Butch ripped her shirt off because he was tired and she didn't want to worry him, but that was a source of anger rather than sadness. In contrast, she was kind of in shock when she got back home after the breakup with Mitch and the initial rage. She only broke down after the Professor asked if she was ok and it kind of shook her out of her numbness. But I think there's also a sort of vulnerability she specifically allows with the Professor in private, though this is more of a headcanon. My only "evidence" for this is that scene in the show where he kisses each of the girls goodnight and Buttercup scowls until he kisses her on the head, eliciting an adorable but brief smile before scowling again. And in the first chapter he indulges her request to drop them off further down the block away from Mitch, and she kisses him on the cheek and says "I love you with all my heart", and idk I just think she has an especially soft spot in her heart for him. Like in the deep, secret recesses of her heart she's a covert Dad's girl?

[icycoldninja]

Can you maybe write the DMC boys with a reader who has eye contact anxiety?

Like at first they noticed that she had problems making eye contact, especially with ppl of the opposite gender ( not that she’s less nervous with women but she feels more comfortable making eye contact with them )

Throughout their relationship, even when intimate moments like lying on the bed, facing each other when she looks down, she can’t help but feels embarrassed so she divert her attention elsewhere and when they caught her staring at them, she always looks away at a neck-breaking speed

Because of that it causes alot of problem in her life:

+ People will be more likely to remember your face.

+ People will be more likely to remember what you said long after the conversation has ended.

+ People are more likely to believe what you're saying.

+ People will perceive you as more confident and intelligent.

+ People will be better able to read and mirror other non-verbal cues.

Yes, I can do this! Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Reader with eye contact anxiety headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante doesn't see how you can get anxious when looking other people in the eye because he has no problem doing it himself.

-He's quick to accept this, though, and does his best to do all the talking for you so you don't have to endure the awkwardness that is avoiding people's eyes.

-It's a real shame, though, he loves your eyes and thinks they're beautiful, but you won't ever look at him directly so he rarely sees them.

-Over time, you become more comfortable looking him in the eyes, and much to Dante's joy, he gets to look at you properly, and as always, he thinks you're beautiful.

-He notices you're more natural and relaxed with the girls, though, so he encourages you to hang out with them more in the hopes that'll give you more experience with making eye contact.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil didn't realize you had eye contact anxiety until you told him. He genuinely thought you were just too intimidated by his shiny blue eyes to look at them.

-Once he learns about this, his drive to dish out MOTIVATION kicks in, and he starts training you to not be so nervous.

-How does he do this? Simple, by having you practice on him. Every day, you will have a staring contest and will continue with this practice until you win.

-He will handle most face-to-face confrontations for you, but encourages you to steel yourself and face people. If you get too uncomfortable, however, he won't hesitate to rescue you.

-Knowing you're more comfortable making eye contact with the girls means he can use them to continue training you. Though this is very manipulative of him, at least it works.

-Makes sure to remind you that how you hold yourself is how others perceive you. If you present yourself as a meek little thing who can't even make eye contact, people will think of you as such, so you must show confidence. Don't worry, he's no hypocrite, he'll be by your side, MOTIVATING you no matter what the situation.

□ Nero □

-Nero is surprisingly accepting of your eye contact anxiety. You don't like looking people in the eyes? Then he won't look you in the eyes and won't force you to look at others, even in formal situations.

-He seriously told you to try painting your eyelids to look like open eyes the way Jack Sparrow did in Pirates of the Caribbean, so you could walk around with your eyed closed and fool people.

-If you do decide to do this, don't worry about how you'd move around, he would hold your hand and guide you.

-Beats up anyone who teases you or messes with you bscause of your anxiety.

-Encourages you to spend more time with the DMC girls since you seem more comfortable around them.

-All in all, he's gonna be there to support you no matter what, even going as far as to coddle you. He doesn't realize this may prevent you from pushing through and getting rid of your anxiety, but anything for his baby, right?

● V ●

-You can only see one of V's eyes at any given time, so that makes your anxiety half as bad.

-He doesn't really make eye contact with anyone himself, his neck is usually hanging down like he's a hunchback or something, so you have very little to worry about.

-He does think you have the world's most beautiful eyes and he wishes you would let him see them more often.

-He respects your boundaries, however, and will not force you look at him or anyone else, and if someone should attempt to do so, they will find the end of a metal walking stick shoved up somewhere where the sun don't shine.

-Wants you to try your best to overcome your anxiety, and since you seem comfortable around the girls, he thinks it would be best to interact with them until you're ready to face the rest of the world.

-Still, he finds it rather cute when you immediately shift your focus to you feet when he turns to face you.

[alligaytorswamp]

how did taiki and his poly all start dating? how do they like to cheer each other up when something bad happens?

aughhghhhh thank u for the asks 😭

god given me the right to talk too much so like. warning i talk too much:

run down on their meetcutes and such (vaguely presented here too):

taiki was dragged by his coworker junpei to hang out with idols under their label, they prolly only talked to andromeda and ishindenshin that day, regardless this is how taiki was simply introduced to kotoya, they didn't even talk

howeverrr kotoya is a pretty boy, the type of idol known for his beauty, and yes ofc taiki was mildly aware of that? he kind of looked at the photos of some idols, but he didn't care all too hard. BUT upon meeting kotoya irl he had that gay moment of 'holy shit he is even prettier in real life what the fuck' and now had a dumb crush

but kotoya is introverted as hell, and an idol! taiki has no clue how to rizz him up. not to mention he doesn't wanna do anything cringe to essentially a colleague, right?? so yeah for the first time in ages taiki just feels stupid because he out of all people doesn't know how to ask a man out

regardless he now tries to hang out around the company building more in hopes they can naturally come across each other, and plot convenience strikes he just knows some ishindenshin members will be recording smth, so he goes to that part of the building

altho again he is unsure how to talk to kotoya, he can't really just walk in to say hello to pretty much stranger- boom. rokuro spawns

he also got some shit to do, and he- unlike taiki - knew kotoya for a good while now. their respective groups are close friends and they all know each other pretty damn well. rokuro himself spends enough time at ishindenshin's dorm and hanging out with kotoya specifically

so as a good friend ofc rokuro goes out of his way to meet up with kotoya, yet this time he comes across an entire taiki. and given that rokuro is very friendly he just immediately nice to taiki, asks him who he is, why is here, etc

taiki introduces himself and vaguely says that he met ishindenshin before and heard that some members were here and wondered if he should say hi... (smooth king). naturally rokuro is immediately like 'omg yea? come with me!'

so rokuro highkey forces a proper personal interaction between kotoya and taiki that at least later allows taiki to confidently interact with kotoya on his own

but plot shall continue- kotoya and rokuro already in their slow burn era. like they just extremely good friends, who are sweet and cuddly, and rokuro will come to hang out with him after a day of training just to listen to kotoya talk about smth complicated (or watch him play games)

taiki got his 'love at first sight' thing going on, where he is very much trying to very casually and slowly rizz up kotoya and kotoya is honest to god very receptive to this (albeit shy asf)

and while this is a thing rokuro and taiki become very good friends too, like they just hit it off, but there is also an odd level of gayness in there with certain flirty comments that are once again received well

cue taiki kind of losing his mind because he can't understand who he has a bigger crush on and how he supposed to deal with this (plus he starts to suspect kotoya and rokuro themselves seem to have close relationships, maybe he is a homewrecker or smth)

rokuro is chilling, he doesn't even worry about a single thing, sure he apparently likes two people but the experience of having a crush is fun for him. + taiki and kotoya are awesome. and on top of that like even if they reject him or simply end up together he would be totally happy ??? (open minded king)

kotoya didn't have much going on he was honestly in survival mode because he is already shy, and there are maybe two people flirting with him, he deadass refused to think about it too hard. god bless his gentle heart okay

(cue them like being progressively more gay in any 2 ppl combos, and when it's 3 of them - because yes they eventually start hang out all three - it's like rokuro leading the convo, complimenting one person, but like involving the other, so it's like he is both rizzing up somebody being a wingman for the other person. crazy stuff really.)

now the rest doesnt have cool details

basically i think atp all of this is entirely too gay, and taiki gotta make a move but he doesn't know with who

so he confesses to rokuro, but he straight up says he also likes kotoya (in a way trying to say 'sorry i dont think my head is in the right space for this relationship with you') . to which rokuro is just like 'oh yeah me too!' LMAO

yeahhhh it's kinda goofy. i think they chat about it and come to a proper conclusion that they both like each other AND like kotoya

then taiki and rokuro very bravely ask kotoya out (by basically going out together and then ending it with a confession where they just say that the two of them together now BUT they also like kotoya and wanna date him as well)

likely kotoya needs like a few days to even process everything but then he agrees and peace and love on planet earth, my rgb poly became real!!

cheering up (thank god this is less words):

kotoya is a physical touch king, so he would just offer his company (hand holding, hugs, etc) + he is good with reassuring words and advice <3

rokuro tends to just ask if there is anything he can do + give gifts/show fun videos/etc

taiki i think is more of a listening ear, but also when possible he can initiate a pretty random date to hopefully keep his bfs' minds off something bad

[thenickgirl]

ive seen ppl say some like real bad shit abt nick like stuff that i told myself while i was deep in an ED and my body dysmorphia was actively happening 27/7 instead of focusing on the ableist comment and how he can learn and grow from this. i stand for my man always but he needs to know and say that it was a ducked up thing to say even if he did it w out knowing the true meaning of the word. i think nick is genuinely a good person its just that he made an ignorant comment bc he was pissed at chris and was obviously jetlagged and tired bc they streamed right when nick got back. this isnt an excuse but an explanation. he should stil totally understand that what he said was wrong and as a neurodivergent person myself who stims i didn't find the comment offensive or hurtful i can see why others would. im a nick boy forever but he needs to address this so he can grow and learn from it. i also think that the ppl who are body shaming him and wishing death upon him and other nasty shit (real comments ive seen from ppl) are blowing things out of proportion. even before this comment was made ive seen ppl like starting a year and a half ago really hate on nick for no reason truly like body shaming him saying things like he nees to leave the channel in its entirety. most of them were, and are continuing to do so, fueling their parasocial relationship with matt and/or chris bc nick was playfully dogging on one or both of them. i hope this makes sense and ik this is long but i feel like ppl are going too far with the things they are saying instead of focusing on the comment itself. love ur blog (one of my fave, if not my favorite, blogs on this appppp <3)

‼️

thank you and i appreciate you for opening up about your own experience. much love to you, nonnie 🩵

[knifearo]

hello bracken 🫡 I've always wanted to get a second aro's opinion on this and also just to Laugh At The Absurdity. And I hope u do not mind the wall of text unprompted

I cut this person out of my life even tho they were my best friend, but when we were close I would tell them about how my roommate (diff room tho) would always bring her boyfriend over and do. well. the devil's tango! frequently! or just generally hang out together and be really loud (ie laughter) at night. I would tell them to be quiet but it never really got better. at this point, I was 1) coming to terms w the fact that I was aro and was beginning to get more comfortable w it and 2) also realizing how kind of insane it was how someone (my roommate) could basically drop most of her other relationships (me included) for a guy she is romantically involved with. we used to get lunch a lot together as roommates but then He came along and that just went away because now He was there and it made me feel pretty sad that I was neglected as a friend. so I would complain to this to my best friend and ofc she agreed it was crazy. but then, one time, after being particularly annoyed by their noise, I said to her something akin to "are allo(romantic) people ok?" And she took that personally! She asked if she would be treated differently by me if she had a bf/gf. and it made me feel so..... ???? bc what??? like no ofc not, but why would u think that? u literally benefit from amatonormativity as someone that experiences romantic attraction, I think an aro person making one (1) joke about allo people is ok 💀🫶 turned out later that they were low-key an arophobe as well as a panphobe despite being queer themselves so rest in piss lmfao but that interaction still rotates in my mind. the allos are so oppressed 🥺🥺🥺🥺

MAN. so much to unpack there. first of all i wish alloromantics Would be oppressed and i hope jakey dies. second of all alloromantics will hear an aro person say literally anything and act like we just kicked their dog and then quit our jobs to take up a full-time career as a cartoon supervillain that's planning to take over the city and. idk. kill batman or something while we're doing it. an aro person opens their mouth and suddenly everyone in the world forgets that jokes exist... ppl literally don't let us say fuck all without being upset about it. anyway! i am of the same opinion that i am when it comes to trans people making jokes about cis people and gay people making jokes about straight people and ace people making jokes about allosexuals. punching up is distinctly different from punching down and if you don't understand what that means then you lack a fundamental understanding of how privilege works and you need to seek out education rather than acting all elon musk "cis is a slur". everyone in the world acts like we are personally throwing rocks at them by making jokes that are inversions of the vitriol that is directed at us and you know what! as i have said before! idgaf and i will be the mean problematic aro forever and ever cause bitches wouldn't like me if i was all niceys about it either. literally god forbid we be sarcastic. anyway i think alloromanticism should be outlawed

"i hate how people who are in relationships treat me differently just because they're in a relationship." "so you would treat me differently just because i was in a relationship??" what are you fucking talking abouuuttttttttttttt

[bigmack2go]

Ive never been more pissed than when i found out aki max and Audrey didn’t end up together. Not like usually tho. This isn’t me goinh *ugh but i ship them so much“ no. I couldn’t care less about whether i like their ship or not. Thsi is about polyamory representation. They build up two seasons like that, finally giving you hope of seeing a poly couple that doesn’t end bad. In the first season k might have been like „oh this is bait“ but then they actually got together and i was so happy. But no. You give me yet another polyamorous story that end in betrayal. You guve me one single poly couple and call it representation and then they end bad?

The fact that they actually were together doesnt make it better.

Every poly representation EVER ends up bad. In betrayal. (Thats exactly what poly ISNT about.) what picture do you think that paints us in?? And especially when you KNOW that its always like that, how dare you be apart of it??? This is like when the only gay character turns out to be the villain, the only female character being the love interest (?) the only black character doing a shooting the only muslim character being a therrorist: WRONG

I am NEVER one to compare minorities experiences to each other but i simplycant keep going know that EVERYONE pretends that poly people aren’t a minority. Sure you SAY that you know that but you don’t treat us as such. And by „treat us as a minority“ i do not mean under representation till the cows come home. Im not talking about conservatives treating me as a minority, in talking about progressive people. Im talking about putting up a fight to let us get our rights like everyone else.

because lets face it, they dont treat us the same way they treat other minorities. Maybe they put a little rep here and there (which is almost always BAD rep) but thats it.

(For the sake of authenticity i‘m gonna use gay as an example for these because thats a minority that im actually a part of and i dont wanna put myself in anyone else’s shoes)

„you dint have to include poly characters if youre not comfortable woth it“ BULLSHIT.

That is like saying „you dont have to include gay characters if youre not comfortable woth it“

If you heard that, would you go „oh that’s fine“ NO. You would not. Because even if you are a straight person who would feel uncomfortable having gay sex or a gay relationship, that does not make gay people less existent and therefore not representing them is not okay.

THIS IS THE SAME FUCKING THING. I dont CARE if you would have a threesome or not (EVEN I WOULDNT AND IM POLY). I exist! And just because you aren’t me, that doesn’t mean i don’t exist?! So get your damn shit together.

Sure polyamory isnt for everyone. NO SHIT. But neither is homosexuality and is it okay to leave that out? No. It fucking isnt.

If you dont wanna represent a certain type of relationship, you shouldn’t put any relationships at all

And to get back to wjat this all was originally about: BAD REPRESENTATION IS WORSE THAN NO REPRESENTATION BECAUSE IT PUTS US INTO A BAD LIGHT ESPECIALLY WHEN THE ONLY REPRESENTATION EVER EXISTING IS ALWAYS BAD ONE.

I think the only representation of polyamory that wasn’t bad is have ever seen in my entire life was half bad. And even that was left open (enough) at the end.

So no DONT TALK TO ME IM ON A RAMPAGE AND I AM NOT OVER REACTING. LET POLYAMORY EXIST FOR FUCKS SAKE

FUCK THIS FUCK EVERYONE. FUCK POLY PPL NOT BEING SEEN

Im so fucking done with this shit

The same tjing is for nonbinary people. I could go on a rampage about this too but i would literally only repeat myself for almost everything

Putting a lot of random tags cuz i want ppl to see this

[sueske]

https://twitter.com/itsmariannnna/status/1679695562793185282?t=nf3eRdyWwcucCWjlM-mwMA&s=19

This is such an universal queer experience, especially for queer women. I do think thats why we love strong friendships turning into romance in fiction.

Also thats why I HATE the "they are just friends, dont turn everything into a gay romance". So many of us confused our romantic feelings for friendly feelings. We grow up with parents expecting us to have a crush on the opposite sex (Kushina for example hoping for Naruto to find a girlfriend, no matter how innocently it was said), parents already making remarks about baby boys growing up to be future playboys, little girls finding their prince etc.... So when ppl cling to Naruto thinking what he feels for Sasuke might be brotherly love, I get so mad bc they have no idea what the queer experience is.

this reminds me of this post here, i strongly encourage everyone to read it.

also the fact that naruto didn't have anyone for so long, he watched people from afar and tried building bonds with others but his first bonds weren't until iruka and sasuke, it's those particular bonds he wonders about at vote1, trying to put them into words.

it's not brotherly love, it's not even open to interpretation, because as the series progresses naruto understands that the feelings he voiced aloud at vote1 weren't right, like the 'bro? -> friend -> sasuke and i are not brothers -> hurt when u hurt' development is right there, but of course people cling to those earlier panels instead of opening their hearts and seeing that kishimoto wrote a believable gay love story.

and I don't get why people try and invalidate sns as romantic by saying they're just friends, strong romances are built on strong friendships. are ss and nh even friends? if it was up to them all strong male relationships would always be friendship and never gay anw seriously.

[kurokmask]

now that we are on Link topic. do you have any other hcs that you've not included in the fanfic? like extra info and stuff?

sorry for the late answer, college blah blah blah

there's lots that haven't made it in explicitly, but they're all still swimming in my head when im writing him. this is gonna be disorganized, sorry!

Link likes being told what to do. secretly he likes having other ppl’s expectations on him bc it gives him security, so he doesn't have to think about who he is

not Link, but every version of OoT Zelda I write is transmasc, whether thats something Zelda is truly aware of or not.

again not Link but Cremia was supposed to have a hot Gerudo pirate gf 💔 sorry girl

I kind of regret not doing more with the Ocarina of Time, and time travel in general. Like, towards the end, Link would definitely try to use it, right? I think I'm going to do a major overhaul of the Termina arc soon.

Link can cannot write more than his name.

Link was originally going to be very open about his past adventures. But i decided bottling everything up and feeling ashamed about it and letting it fester like a rotting wound would be sadder :)

sexuality was going to be a concept i explored in the fic. ultimately i wanted to keep it a T rating so i didn't do this, but. it was definitely a thing! cut things include lotsssss of Sheik baggage, boyish feelings about Kafei, weird fierce deity sex dreams and um. remember Javert?

Javert and Link wereeee... supposed to fuck! I even wrote a before and after scene LOLLL. Javert was going to play a more important role in general, being a semi-reoccurring character. He was planned to be Link's kind of """only friend""" in Castletown. Link was drawn to him because of how much older and experienced he was, and Javert took pity on Link, both in a sort of genuine but also kind of overbearing way. ultimately Link got annoyed by him pretty quickly and once he started to get to know Malon he basically ghosted him. another example of how Link struggles to balance relationships, especially those who really care for him. obviously i. didn't go further with this. but it was planned for about a year before I scrapped it. But i hope you reread their scene together to pick up on some vibes.....

since im already being disgusting um. bottom. praise kink. but he never really finds this out. how sad.

when i was first conceptualizing his character, i was actually going to write link as bipolar. I ended up writing him more adhd/autism as thats closer to my own personal experience. but its still in the back of my mind, and it definitely manifests more as he gets older. but this man has so much going on please project anything you want on him and its real he has it

OoT Link is the only Link i hc as cis bc only a cis man would fumble the bag THIS bad. put those tights on boy

i have a weird hyper-specific modern au where he's living in 1998 germany with his little brother (whos just young link). they play ddr together, he goes to acid techno raves, and dresses like this

again, in a modern au, Link would be a total audiophile. his favorite musicians would be Kate Bush, Fiona Apple, Talking Heads, the Prodigy, Devo, the Mountain Goats, Modest Mouse, Nirvana, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Bjork, the Magnetic Fields-- ok ill stop

if he was an Animal Crossing villager he'd be a gold wolf with the Jock personality

that's all i can think of right now, I'm sure more will come to me and I'll write them here. thanks for the ask, thanks so much for the interest!!!!!

[sandorsubs]

hi an anon here, im just feeling overwhelmed and healing since i have so many emotional abuse interaction with ppl outside, it kind offended and im internalizing it and worrying my trauma will pop up when im manifesting, cause till today i feel vulnerable how they look at me, like i dont do anything to ppl and they hate and piss off to me, im a very spiritual person and its obviously i tend to be sensitive, im also insecure and worried if i have a bad energy or its just a reflection of their bad energy.

hi there anon. i don't think you have bad energy first of all. being a spiritual person can be tiring sometimes. i kinda felt that you are an empath. so you need to protect your energy. carrying our past is so tiring when it's mixed with our old harmful habits. for example you may realize you have same pattern in relationships because of your previous experiences. but you are not stuck in past even if it feels like it. according to your assumptions you may still attract negative people around you. i'll listen things you may want to be interested in because i've been there, i am still healing. most important thing is your will to heal. since you have that i hope you find this useful.

of course i will suggest therapy first because it's mind opening and makes us realize a lot. all healing process is like breaking a wrong healed bone to make it heal better again. but don't condition yourself it'll be hard or scary. it's fresh breath seriously.

you are the most important person in your life. this is a realization should hit somewhere in your life. it's cheesy to read it on self-motivation pages ik. don't just affirm but think about it. when a people pleaser say yes to something they don't want, who experience the discomfort? they do. being rejected isn't worse than discomfort. every grown up person should deal with rejection. but a people pleaser would rather feel discomfort than making someone feel rejected. whose team are you on? always check you feel good, comfortable and respected when you are with people. if you completely focus on other people's wants and opinions, you'll neglect yourself. but your life comes first.

as a previous people pleaser i used to imagine myself as someone else (since i am kinder to strangers) to be able to help myself. but do i bully other people? no. i didn't even write a single hate message in my life but oh the things i told myself...to the mirror. then i realized "i'm not surprised why i hate myself" because i treat myself very shitty. i neglect her, i shut her down, i bully her, i reject her requests. but i expect to be happy. how? according to external validation but it's sooo temporary if you don't love yourself. you experience this life yourself, you should love yourself most because they are always with you. please practice self love, external validation is out. it makes you weak and open to manipulation.

who can tell you who you are? you have been your own best friend from the start. you should know everything about yourself. but do you? do you really think you have bad energy? write down about yourself. your life, things you are proud of, your dislikes. this sounds so basic and you may struggle first but i promise you'll amaze yourself. don't be humble just be honest. even our families says horrible things to us sometimes. we think they are right just because it's family and they're close bla bla. but you can stop and not accept what they say. because you know yourself better than anyone. no one can make you doubt.

about past traumas. write everything down. literally every single thing you are offended by, every person that hurt you. now since you love yourself and know yourself, trust me you'll have a different perception. you'll know why you acted like that, why you said that and all of your experiences will make sense. because we get the damage and since we couldn't heal from it we still think it's our fault and feeling ashamed of our trauma. how is this fair? i am not a professional and i don't know what kind of traumas you have but get help, heal and build your trust in yourself again. would you let someone you love and know get hurt in front of you? no, since you build a healthy relationship with yourself you won't let that happen.

sometimes we forget who "people" are. you said you get hate for no reason. why do you care? look who is giving you the hate. a hater. i wouldn't be friends with a hater, i wouldn't even look at their face, they don't deserve to talk to me. i wouldn't let them approach to my kids. they just need to heal and stop having a ugly personality. because we've also been through shit and we don't have ugly personalities. sadly we can't stop haters from talking and reaching out but we can ignore. before directly accepting what they say, look where it comes from. i know it's hard but look at their faces carefully, they are not even aware of their toxicity. they are far from healing and being happy. they want to see you doing bad stuff only to tell themselves "oh great i'm not the only bad person". but you don't and this makes them crazier.

you have the formula. self love+knowing yourself+trust= self worth. past doesn't matter, what people says about you doesn't matter. focus on what you want and create that time for yourself to write and ask questions. like you get to know yourself from start. be clear about your manifestations and there is nothing to be afraid of

[dyke-ified]

ok ive finished :) and i do have thoughts. area unknown has been really special. its a rare bird in terms of minecraft content and theres just so many important stories being told there. the way it relates to the wider sunship canon or whatever its called is amazing, and the otehr ppls content like oli's dedicated grinding, moonzy's beautiful buildings or graaavel's awesome lore (HIS LORE VIDEO WAS SO GOOD. IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. THE MUSIC????? YEA), was all so amazing to witness.

BUT i do have some criticisms if you dont mind me sharing. none of it is with ill intent and i understand why the decisions that were made happened but i still think its worth pointing out.

im disappointed with how aimsey and scott's arc was left off, because i dont think it reached a satisfying conclusion at all and the loose threads they left didn't feel like a culmination of their relationship. aimsey and scott's conversations are some of my favourite parts of the lore because their relationship is so, SO interesting and really worth exploring. so ending it by saying "scott just got bored and went back to hell" was not a good move i feel. i really wanted to see something more there.

guqqie does touch on hera's influence when she discovers the grave but to be honest i dont understand why she was allowed to get married to aimsey and have a happy ending. hera has made a point of dooming them in every single universe and she just loves torturing her little experiment, and her influence has continued into season two with egging aimsey and oli on with the lab, so i really don't understand why guqqie was able to seperate herself from this and later get married when that has never been allowed before

i guess that everything was intentionally left pretty open ended so things could change in future, guqqie did say she'd write something up later this week which could give answers to what i mentioned above. and who knows, maybe in the years guqqie and aimsey were split hera could have been defeated in some way. maybe guqqie went back and confronted her or something idk. i would really like to see something like that though. and of course that open-endedness leaves room for aimsey and scott to do something which would also be great. but yeah those are my less great thoughts about the finale. but do not be fooled just because it wasnt absolutely perfect didnt mean i didnt enjoy it/think it was bad

FORTUNATELY it has given me a great window to start working on that au because i really want to develop scott and aimseys arc, explore aimsey's feelings as a demon and the horror that comes with that, and his relationship to hera because the one time they interacted always gives me chills. so i think the finale was flawed but thats ok because now i can go in and do awesome stuff with my own ideas for a bad ending. because i like hera cannot let the characters rest. ineed to be stopped hehehe

but yeah apart from that i did really enjoy the finale. it did feel like area unknown. the party, never have i ever, michela being hilarious and caitees being weird, and of course heartbreaking sunship lore. it genuinely gave me the same warm feeling as when i was watching through all those vods from 2022 when they were just messing around or screaming at each other in the rain. area unknown needed to end. no one seemed to want or have the time/inspiration/motivation to do stuff on it anymore, and the characters needed a conclusion and to be let go so they could just be in their own right. i'm glad that its done. it was really special. i cant wait to see what everyone does next :3

i agree heavily on the scott and aimsey topic, i wish we could’ve gotten more development of their relationship or seen scott in s2 bc there was a psrt of his house i think somewhere and then he was never mentioned again iirc, but they were probably both too busy or something to do anything which is ok i’ll just make it up in my head :3

and i hope there is a bit more of something w hera and auguqqies whole thing and how hera allowed ausunship to get married, or how all that went. i’m just really curious

anyways love u sneef thank u for liveasking to me this has been very fun :333 <3 im rlly glad u liked area unknown!!!!!!!

[tojisun]

hihi, im a mootie (i think i am???? idk even what that word truly means but we talk!) and im too worried to message u this normally, so im sending it anonymously. this way, u dont have to feel obligated to respond at all. and if ud rather i not be personal/emotional/vent like this, lmk and ill stop!!

but i hate it here so much. i matched w this dude on hinge, and he asked me if one of my friends in a group photo i had was single. and like dude i initiated it too, like i liked his profile first, so im never doing that again. i always felt like the uglier friend in the group, so honestly this experience just confirmed that. this worsened my already crappy self-perception and -esteem.

but whatever! i have to force myself to realize that i have low chances of ever experiencing someone attracted to me and in love w me

ok bye i'm so sorry !!!

hi my love!! im so sorry for just seeing this now :((

nono, im open and super ok talking to u guys like this! im glad and thankful that u trust me w this, its just that im.. not as equipped to talk about this without rambling bc this is smthn i carry around too

im the fat friend. ive always been the fat friend. if its not my weight, just the fact that one of my exes even used me as a rebound bc he cant get w my friend just sucks yk?

and it took soooo much effort to learn to love myself—im not even done learning it tbh. i still dont have the self-esteem to feel like im treated right. but along the way, i just gave up thinking about how others perceive me as long as im doing things for myself

i wore clothes i enjoy, decided to try different makeup styles, cut my hair as short as i want even if my mom said itd make my face look bigger bc i always wanted short hair. and somehow just doing things for myself made me feel pretty. and i carried this elation, letting it triumph over ppl’s perception

but thats also bc im not looking for relationship. it was a different battle when i was. i felt like i was always coming short of the beauty standard, and some men in datings apps would really make you compete with ur friends

this thing that u experienced? happened to me too—me and my friend even matched w him at the same time by accident. when my friend wont reply to him asap, he came to me and asked abt her. i unmatched right away and even deleted my profile LMAO

but uhm. ig what i want to just say to u (like what i told myself) is: dont let HIM make you feel that you’re ugly, or even the uglier friend. he just sucks, i promise you this.

there are probably other men im sure who are swiping for u. but dont let their attention dictate how u feel about urself too bc everything, i think, should come from urself. as long as YOU feel right in your own skin, with your own clothes, then yea you are beautiful

im so sorry u felt this way and i hope no one ever feels this way bc god we are all beautiful. not for any other reasons, just that we are

[will80sbyers]

ppl here are stressed or worried about mike's sexuality meanwhile I am more worried about other things. at the end of the day, mike's sexuality could just stay as 'unlabelled', he'd just be portrayed as 'queer' overall and it'd be fine in itself.

but there's other topics that i am worried about;

1- max's coma situation, she's now portrayed as brain dead. and i worry abt how its gonna handled. maybe an unpopular opinion, but i wouldn't like it if max is brought back and then is completely healed without having permanent damage on her body. it's a hard topic to be addressed and I'm worried how it's gonna appear.

2- lucas and erica's storylines, some scenes in S4 were too much triggering, but i have little to no hope that they will be addressed. and i am not sure if the writers learned or realized the writing in that and how it came off as... so idk.

3- dustin's whole eddie grief situation. i get that the duffers intended to give dustin a more personal loss and depression/grief, but i wouldn't want it to be dustin's whole story arc or a major story focus for him.

4- will's whole character, he has too much under addressed issues from s1 due to his upside down experiences, or his possession (which was f-ed up), his internalized homophobia, overall i am not sure how they're gonna deal with all of that esp his supernatural plot.

5- i wouldnt want jncy to be underwhelming, but i am not sure if the duffers are gonna continue teasing stncy or not. i think it is very reductive to jon and nancy's characters and relationship, as well as unnecessary to steve's own character.

I don't care too tbh I am just saying what I think is happening when I talk about Mike being bi, I'm not saying it because I like it more, it's just how I interpreted stuff in the show but he could be gay too and I would be happy if he ends up with Will and is happy at the end of the show and I'm repeating this same thing since day one... the only annoying thing to me is constantly having people tell me that I'm making drama just because I'm sharing an opinion or a theory about bi Mike... the tag is for ALL of us not only gay mike believers 😅

For the rest of the stuff

1) I think maybe Max is not going to be able to walk anymore or she could be blind to one eye, I don't think she will be completely healed but I think she will come back to Lucas!

2) sadly I agree with you on this, I'm not sure they will handle Lucas and Erica as well as they should... I can only hope they have listened to the feedback online, they are usually open to criticism and they are open to listen to the input of others so I hope they will do the same for this matter

3) I think Dustin is going to want revenge for Eddie, maybe? I'm not sure but I think they have to focus on that because what Dustin lived through marked him forever sadly :(

4) I have faith they will deal with that in a good way because they are building Will's character arc since before season 1 even started!

5) I personally right now think Jonathan is probably dying in s5 so Idk what to think about Nancy's finale... I think jancy is going to end in tragedy but I really hope not and I hope that even if jancy doesn't happen she just focuses on her career after and not Steve...

@cluelessbees told me a nice idea about Steve's arc for s5, basically the ides is that he's going to focus on his platonic relationships next season and be a support for Dustin's arc and Robin's and maybe he's going to feel guilty because if he went with Max instead of going with Nancy (because he likes her) maybe things would be different now, if he had accepted being the babysitter maybe Max wouldn't be in a coma?

[lokisis]

Just a lot of thoughts below. No common theme tbh

Perhaps I should do a tutorial on how I draw spam sometime? I've seen a couple tries of emulating my style so I think it might be fun to give a Direct way to do it. Not to say the emulations were bad! I just think it would be fun 2 do.

I have a love hate relationship with Hotel California. It's a good god damn song. But I heard it literally Every Day after school for like 2 years. I put it in one of my playlists to antagonize myself.

I often wonder what people think of me. Am I a good person? Am I doing right by myself? I don't know. I hope I'm good. I hope I'm kind and approachable. But looking back at my last relationship.. I don't know. It was definitely my fault but he also made me so upset so often. I hope I don't do that to anyone else

I get compliments about my line art a lot. Usually along the lines of "it's so smooth/clean/etc" Here's a fun fact: my hands are chronically shaky. Probably because I don't eat enough but I digress. I want you to open your art program and find the stabilizer. Or correction or whatever the fuck it's called. Turn it up to the point you can make a somewhat unsure line into a confident one. Bam, you're already 70% of the way to how I do my lines. The rest is experience and a trained eye ;]

I really want someone to hold and kiss and love. I have so much of it, and I can't give it to anyone near me. Why? I already dated most of my friends. It would be weird. Just really want someone I'm close to that I can snuggle up to again. I miss that comfort.

I realized, after I made the Blue and Spam post, that Pink is ALSO based on a family member. See, my mom has 2 sisters. The one like Spam, and the one I accidentally made Pink act like. For ease, Mo is pink, KT is spam, and Ma is blue. Mo fucking HATES KT. Doesn't want anything to do with her. But just like Ma, if KT actually needed her help, she'd be there. Begrudgingly, of course.

I wonder how long it usually takes people to make art like mine. For me, if it's just Spamton and no other characters/objects, it takes maybe 2 - 3 hours. That's the full piece. From sketch to post. I'm very fast at what I do so I wonder. I truly do!

My music taste leans heavily towards rock, but hard rock has never caught me quite as much as the rest. Maybe I just haven't found the right kind. Honestly finding new music is always a treat. My mom absolutely loves Rush, and I can see why! But I also love pretty much Everything! Musicals to pop to acapella to fuckin opera if it's good. Rock is a Huge genre, so I guess that's why my taste is so open to begin with. Gotta say tho, raising your kid on motley crue and guns n roses isn't the Best idea if you want an Obedient child.

I love drawing hands. I enjoy the process of feeling out the movement and flow. Hands are so expressive and I genuinely love drawing them. I can understand ppl hating them, but that doesn't mean I agree. Just take the time to learn and you'll see.

Oh right, I should say if you have any opinions/commentary/whatever abt all this shit I'm totally down for a full on rant. Ok. Time to sleep.