#they make me so sick you dont even know
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KrNk - Married? In MY 2024?
"Du bist die schönste Braut, die ich je gesehen habe"¹
"ເຈົ້າຄິດແນວນັ້ນບໍ?"²
"Das weiß ich!"³
TRANSLATIONS
¹ "You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen."
² "You think so?"
³ "I know so!"
#they make me so sick you dont even know#kruegernak#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#art#digital art#artwork#phayvanh nak sotsvahn#sebastian krueger#cod krueger#cod nak#original character#cod mw oc#call of duty oc#cod original character#call of duty fanart#cod oc#oc x canon#oc x cc
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now
#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic#even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space#so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now#like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry)#but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her#or a blind bag with a character keychain#and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad#starts to diminish#my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it#or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces#i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables#my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons#like i dont get it but i get it#maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort#sara shush#ramble
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you know what really pisses me off? so many people acting like he is the worst person out there and no one will miss him. A LOT of people are grieving now and missing him including people that these people supposedly follow and care about. liam was not the supervillain people wanted him to be. he was messed up and did messed up things likely because of what happened to him. this conversation deserves so much more nuance than people are giving it. and maybe it’s too early to have this conversation now but it’s helping me process and grieve so i’m really writing this for me. people are complex and doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person or someone worthy of death without being given the chance to make things right. and another thing, it is SO hypocritical to make fun of him and look down on him like he’s the ultimate Bad Guy meanwhile i bet every single person you have ever admired in the spotlight has likely also done bad things or at least things you wouldn’t be proud of. fame is an illness and it can cause people to harm others because they were hurt themselves. human beings are a culmination of everything that they’ve been through and everything they’ve done. he is not only the bad things he’s done and it’s okay and normal to grieve him as a whole person, because he was one.
#i’m glad most people are asleep right now so i could write this#i’m just so fed up with all the jokes on his behalf#people are IN PAIN. i’m sick to my stomach#liam wasn’t evil. he was messed up clearly otherwise he wouldn’t have been so intoxicated#man’s it drives me to insanity that these people who ‘stan’ an artist any artist could be so hypocritical right now#you don’t KNOW these people. they are famous and fame is an illness#it fucks up your brain and makes you do shitty things and act in ways people and yourself dont even recognize#EVERY celebrity has done something shitty in their lives and will continue to do so because that’s the price of admission#yes it was serious what he has done and that shouldn’t be swept under the rug but people are more than their worst moments#i feel so sick and dizzy over this. seeing all this shit about him everywhere is making me ill. i wish it would stop#i also feel for maya. this post isn’t to erase her trauma and experience at all. she has every right to speak her truth.#just have more compassion for people on all sides for christ’s sake#where is the humanity#grief#death tw#lp
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michael kaiser is one of those millionaire fuckboy bastard athletes who’s all smug and “i’m a man who’s got very specific taste” but it’s just women who literally could not give a single shit about him shut up you know i’m so right for this
yeah sure he fucks around that’s easy practically a piece of fucking cake for him but as soon as you click your tongue at him in rejection like he’s an insignificant little ant you can crush with pin-point precision under your heels? he’s infatuated. borderline obsessed and insufferable in his pursuit of you. he’s so pathetic he immediately commits himself to you, literally physically can’t bring himself to take some new fling to bed because all he wants is you, you, you, you’ve ruined him he’s lovesick he’s insane.
#the only way i want this man is on his knees for me#you ignore him and he immediately gets a hard on he’s sick in the head#he views you rolling your eyes at him as crumbs of your attention bestowed upon him he views it as a PRIVILEGE#if you dont even know who he is?? never heard of him ever?? he’s gonna marry you there’s nothing sexier to him than someone who—#—he has to prove himself to and work for bc he’s probably never done it in his life#scoff at him and he moans so shamelessly foul. FOOUULL i hate him so much i want to have his kids but make him go through hell first#sorry y’all i had to get this off my chest LMFAO#blue lock x reader#michael kaiser x reader#—bllk.thoughts!#bastard kaiser </3
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Gentle reminder as the spooky time has arrived: If you go to a haunted house/attraction, remember that you paid to be scared. Do not go to a haunted house, and try to impress your friends by assaulting the actors. I would even go so far as to beg you to please stop trying to show off how not scared you are. Please stop this mind set that "not being scared" makes you a cool person. It doesn't. It makes you look like a jerk. And I get it, sometimes, you are legitimately not frightened. I worked Haunted houses, I've been legitimately not scared or impressed. You know what DOES make you cool? Scream anyways. Screaming at jump scares makes it more fun for you and your friends. It makes it more fun for the actors. It makes for an overall better time. If you go about a haunt, acting a fool that's not impressed, the haunters will not waste their time, and they will find someone else who gives them something to work with.
#I am sick of hearing my haunt friends tell me they got punched or beat up AGAIN#I hate macho chads who think they are all alpha and posture at scare actors#they have a job to do and they dont get paid very well#they just want to have fun#hear a few screams#get a few laughs#if you KNOW you have a tendency to punch or hit when you are frightened DO NOT GO TO A HAUNT ATTRACTION#Common sense common courtesy#And dont even get me started on the ladies who try to flirt with the monsters so that they seem less scared.#just let the monster do his job#why yall gotta make things so difficult for my friends
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no but you guys. taps mic is this thing on. android bakugou that is having a whole life crisis because he can't stop wanting to be around you. can't stop wanting to talk to you. can't stop wanting to see if you feel as soft as you look. can't stop wanting you—when he knows it's all made up in his head, it can't be real, he's literally not a human being how could he have feelings like this WHAT is happening to him.
#i'm so insane for this YOU DONT GET IT#YOU DONT GET IT#he sees you and feels SICK and he's like what the fuck is happening to me#making excuses to talk to you and EVEN THAT IS LIKE ????? WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM ????#is he BOTCHED ??? DID THE FUCK UP MAKING HIM ????? MADE HIM TOO EMOTIONAL ?????#like he KNOWS it cant be but god damn it does he YEARN every time he sees you#screams at the top of my lungs#✿ thoughts: bakugou
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"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.
#house md#james wilson#gregory house#hilson#johan being crazy about yaoi md#johan's mindpalace#Im crazy#like im tearing up#this scene is so romantic it genuinely makes me nauseous#the lowlight setting the lingering stares the soft little smile a dam thats finally broken#I need a 12 gauge bullet in the thigh#Please watch this scene screencaps do not do it near enough justice#do you know whats so genuinely actually sickening#its been months since i finished house md#and i have not watched a single show that has managed to fill even a quarter of the gaping bleeding hilson shaped hole in my heart#shows that have actual gay people actual representation and not a single one has managed to alter my brain chemistry the way hilson has#since day 1 episode 1#Like its actually nauseating a little its so over for me for the rest of my life#Like im actually never recovering#people say “they dont make xyz like they used to haha” But Guys they Genuinely dont#Im going through withdrawls#I need my yaoi cocaine so bad but my plug died 12 years ago and i cant fucking Move#House md capital of fatphobia homophobia transphobia early 2000s edgy humour outshining modern shows with actual rep like im sick#Its not even because i want to like i feel like there are worms in my brain. I feel like ratatoullie if the rat was evil#This is not what the stonewall riots were for#I feel like so nausous why couldnt i be crazy about an actual gay pairing like a normal gay person. Im gonna throwup#Why couldnt i like music and girls#Its not even that house md is objectively logically better than these shows like no. Im just crazy#Im so sick they make me so sick i feel like there are worms in my head. My head#Dont know when i will ever be onorlmal again. Sorr
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having fun working on a commission for arturo. he wanted one of his ocs (angel, left) included in the commission, and another oc (paulina, right) that we brainstormed together for the sake of this fic.
i decided to let my computer charge a bit after writing for a while, so i decided to make picrews of the ocs (couldn't resist with makowka, long time fave tbh) just to help make the visualizations of them "tangible."
then i decided to make the rest of the mcs as picrews lol. take this as you will.
anyways,,, enjoy.
also, before you ask, yes. i did give benji a little gay boy earring. i asked simon if it was okay and he said all things are as they should be.
#mission impossible#makowka picrew#ocs#i was tied on what headwear to give luther#but i couldnt help myself. i just had to give him the signature black beanie.#my favorite guy. running the show from inside the van.#didnt actually look at pictures for references while doing this (so afterwards... looks a little funky)#i looked them up AFTER to put up as reference so yall (the ether) will know who i was even trying to depict LOL#i do truly miss brandt and carter. i will not lie.#and dont fucking get me started on ilsa. i swear to god. im. sick.#whatever. this is a reflective fic. arturo isnt making me do current angst. ty jesus.#but if i must... i will provide#anyways. 🤧🤧 agent gómez? agent cevallos? welcome to the imf#this is your mission... should you choose to accept it 😍#ethan hunt#luther stickell#and his lil beanie#ilsa faust#benji dunn#and his lil gay boy earring#jane carter#william brandt#julia meade#nectarine on: mi#nectarine on: writing#writing community#commissions open
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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i want ice cream. do i get ice cream.
#pros: yayyy ice cream :D will make me happy. its nondairy so i dont have to worry about that#cons: despite being almost an entire legal adult (with a history of Eating Issues) my parents still heavily control what im allowed to eat#therefore i am not allowed to eat ice cream. and my mom will probably hear me in the kitchen and freezer and Know.#and even if she doesnt say anything to me she will Know.#also idk maybe the sugar will keep me up#boycritter et al#anyways it was always insane to me when people casually mention having ice cream#like??? you guys have ICE CREAM??? in your HOUSE???? that you are allowed to eat WHENEVER YOU WANT????#the ONLY reason we have it is bc i was sick
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Yesterday I was replaying Deltarune and I was going really insane about it picking up on things I missed on my first playthrough and something that fucked me up hard was this line here
The little ellipsis at the end, almost like you can hear the regret on their voice. Voice of an ad who is realizing maybe they fucked up on this one. But it also made me think of... The possibility of this being a reaction to Spamton's actions.
Because I don't think this was an automatic thing, I feel like their drifting off was gradual. Sure, their jealousy had won them over (I'd have killed the guy or myself if I was them so I don't even blame them) but Spamton was too getting busier and busier the more famous he got, and as they say, that never stopped. He only kept getting bigger, until it all came crashing down. And when it did it was one of them who tried to go find him, after all that.
But I digress, let's focus on the original quote from my favorite sigma enby themselves, Pink Addison. There's obviously not only the regret to it, but feeling like they were abandoned too. Both parties lost a lot and the real tragedy is just how easily it could've have been avoided! Or rather, how beyond their control it was...
But I'll get off topic if I keep speaking so I'll leave it at that. The sheer tragedy that there is to everyone involved just makes me insane. Like I said in a post previous to this; you cannot trace down a good guy or a bad guy in this tale, it's just desperate people taking awful decisions and living to regret their actions.
#luly talks#makes you wonder too like#THIS IS GOING ON THE TAGS BC IM JUMPING THE GUN TOO HARD#but after Pink says rhat they follw by saying ''even so he only got more and more successful'' and its making me FEEL something alright#that EVEN SO. like. were they expecting for him to... stop? to slow down? to give up his overwhelming fame to get them back?#there's so many things i just can't say because we know very little of the addisons and big shot era spamton#we dont even know if they were aware this is how he ended. we dont even know if Spamton tried to go back to them or if he totally refused to#it makes me sick it makes me insane i want to grab these colorful things and squish then on my palm#there's a lot of What Ifs but i think the answer wouldn't even matter because nothing could change anymore#its sososososososoooooo sad#like i see fandom woobify Spamton a lot and i HATE that sure he went thru a lot but he's a grown ass desperate man#he's not a poor uwu cinnamon roll he's insane and he's an asshole and he's a nuanced tragic character#and so are these motherfuckers!!!!!!#btw i originally had a paragraph about how mad I'd have been if i was an Addison but i ended up rewriting the whole post LMAO#anyway. yeah. it just makes me insane.#deltarune#Spamton#addisons
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I want to watch the sun sink behind the heavens with you. Anything. I just want anything from you.
#I stare at your pictures for hours on end#Dreaming fantasizing about holding you#Feeling my hands on your bare skin#Just being with you#But I know it'll never happen#But I can't stop myself from fantasizing#I think about you for hours until I realize how much time#I've spent thinking of a scenario that will never happen#You're so beautiful and funny#And anytime I see your picture or even hear your name#My stomach flips and I get butterflies#Every word you say sends goosebumps all over my body#I've tried for so long not to look at you#To not look at pictures of you#To cut off all contact with you#But I can't stop it#I can't stop how I feel#I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling this way#At least not for a long time#When I see you with him it makes me sick to my stomach#And although that should put me off you#it doesn't#It only makes me want you more#You mean so much to me#it's someone else's flowers on the table#personal#i dont even. kniw at this poiint#I wish you'd look at me the way I look at you#I wish I could be with you
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happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.
#im. 24 now.#appleyaps#gonna be honest with you guys idk where the fuck my life is heading atm.#but if this manga taught me anything its that i have to keep making choices in order to achieve my own happiness.#ive been making strides... im now exclusively using the men's toilets wherever i go.#and im working on getting a professional diagnosis so i can go on hrt... but the waiting lists are so long.#i took the transfer but now it turns out i still have to wait longer... even though i was promised help quickly.#i dont know how much longer i can take this though. being uncomfortable with myself. im sick of it. i just wanna live.#theres so many things id like to do. but my body and my voice are holding me back from it.#my mom and her boyfriend know now. but my mom doesnt understand and has never referred to me as a woman as much as she does now.#at least everyone at school uses he/him for me now. i was finally assertive about it in my new class#and everyone there calls me teddie. though i'd like people to use tom for me as well. my friends do.#i just need to be even more assertive from now on. im working on it. im doing my best. i wanna live.#at least i have lots to look forward too. thats whats keeping me going honestly. and my friends.#the hope that one day i get to look in the mirror and finally see myself. i want to believe that it can happen. i need it to happen.
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is it weird that jokes ab zukos """angst coma""" make me lowkey mad
#cus i mean i personally cant imagine how hellish it would be to be so terrified of defying your abusive demon of a father#that the moment you make a decision that goes against him you freak out so bad that you get insanely sick and literally pass out#idk i know zukos fictional but jokes about the effects of the violent abuse he went through always rub me the wrong way#its like how i get heated when people joke about katara “always talking about her mom”#when first of all she really doesnt second of all even if she did whats funny about it. Hoe.#LIKE I KNOW IT PROBABLY SHOULDNT BE THIS DEEP. i dont care though#being afraid of your father to the point of sickness is a real thing that ive went through myself that shit is Not for the weak
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