#they love him a lot. tears in my eyes
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They match each other's (sakka) freak
#get it. because they call each other.....pffff...sakka freak#pleas. laugh a little#spare a laugh 😔✊🏽#they love each other#AND sakka#endou mamoru#gouenji shuuya#kidou yuuto#break trio#engouki#engoukidou#inazuma eleven#inazuma 11#ina11#I KNOW THESE TWO IMMEDIATELY SMILED BACK AT ENDOU WHEN HE POPPED UP NEAR THEM BTW#I CAN READ THEM LIKE AN OPEN LOOK. I CANT SEE THE FACES BUT I KNOW#they love him a lot. tears in my eyes
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a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)
#彡 moevie!#彡 cherishing.#kruin …. !! you sent this a few days ago but i am still . reeling in . /pos because i cannot believe i am seeing moze ( and myself ?! ) in#your !!!! style !!! your !! adorable !!! and beautiful !! style !!! and there is a lot i have to say — i am in the chattiest mood despite my#sleepiness !! FIRST omg ): thank you ?! thank you !! THANK YOU !!! for being so kind to me and drawing out a sketch that i will treasure for#eternity really 😭 !! i will gaze at this whenever i wake up … gaze at it before i sleep …. gaze at it when im sad … when im happy ( to#amplify the happiness of course !! ) OOOOH KRUIN. kruin . words can absolutely NOT describe how much i love your style … i just cannot ?!#figure out how to put it in words ?? i can’t just say ‘i like how you do this’ ‘and this’ because it’s the literal entire thing that i love#aiwnendjdkke and ): before i get too deep into that — i must thank you another time kruin !! because i know you’ve been busy — and of#course you must be ?! im sure life becomes much more hectic during the holidays and new years like this — so i’m just so soft over the fact#that you spent time to do this for me and i :’) i really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart — i would like to say ‘you really didn’t#have to!!’ BECAUSE YOU DIDNT !!! YIU DIDNT NEED TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME — YOU DIDNT ): IM JUST SO SAPPY AND MUSHY THAT YOU CHOSE TO AND ):#and the background being pink . i love pink !!! i know exactly where this specific shade of pink will prosper ( give me a second .. when i#awake ) .. BUT OH )): thank you so much kruin … it means so much to me .. more than i could ever try to explain !!! BUT IS IT OKAY IF I TALK#ABOUT HOW YOU DREW MOZE BECAUSE . i’m dead on the floor -> x0x this is me because you made his cheeks SO squishy HIS SIGNATURE SQUISHABLE#LOOK . I WONDER HOW ARTISTS MAKE HIM LOOK SO SQUISHY ?? the squish technique ?? BECAUSE HE LOOKS SO CUTE SHJEJD ): KRUIN YOURE SUCH AN AWESO#ME ARTIST . SO TO BE ABLE TO SEE HIM IN YOUR STYLE ….. *thanks everyone for allowing me to have eyes* a wonderful day !! to have eyes !!! i#will actually risk disintegrating into evieparticles if i even so much as mention the blush on his cheeks so — instead . YOU GAVE HIM SUCH A#oh no . the look on his face T T kruin i don’t want to talk about it !!!!! but you — the look on his face !!!! must you draw him in such a#cute manner /pos i am starting to feel speechless trying to talk about how pretty he is in your style because . perhaps toopretty for me#to even make any type of comment ( instead — i sneak a glance and then turn away because if i stare too long …. IF I STARE TOO LONG .. *expl#explodes* ) kruin i think i will just cry seeing the level of detail you put into this ): like my hair ): i think i will just kneel in front#of you and cry and apologize over and over as i wipe my tears on my sleeve because my tears make it difficult to properly thank you /lh#the fact that there are sparkles T T the world is full of sparkles when mr shadow exists !!! a lovely . YOU KNOW WHAT . the sparkles are#there because KRUIN EXISTS . I LOVE YOU KRUIN. I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH ))): I DONT RVEN KNOW HOW TO DTART EXPRESSING MY GRATUTUDE#tldr - i am gobsmacked & staring at this for the next ( infinite amount of time ) thank you kruin !!! ): wishing you only the best .#aggressively wishing you only the best * aggressively turning to go O_O at anything that dares threaten a lovely day for you!!!!
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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards
I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?
I. Magic Tricks
You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)
But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."
In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.
II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets
This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?
From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.
Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)
2008.
Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible
2009.
Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?
2010.
This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!
2011.
Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards
2012.
This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??
2013.
Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form
2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):
For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one
2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):
The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"
III. Why Does This Matter?
*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs
This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!
There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.
But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(
#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post#nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg#that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face#<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH#anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project#and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore#i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects#<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ#theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell#fernando alonso#fa14#f1#formula 1#catie.rambling.txt#we do a little bit of f1
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i’m actually really glad that yuji empathized with megumi’s depressive state instead of just outright telling him to live tbh. it lets megumi keep his agency as opposed to the damsel in distress narrative that some people were pushing, and subverts expectations on the whole 'start by saving me itadori' thing in general
#listen i have a LOT of thoughts abt this chapter but this brought a lil tear to my eye ngl#yuji showing how much he cares for his best friend by empathizing with his emotions and letting him walk his own path#despite it being a life or death situation#and megumi willingly fighting back!! gathering the strength to finally get up on his feet by himself without anyone pulling him up!!#yuji was a crutch here but it was handled so well#my son is not a damsel in distress he is going to kick sukuna in the bawls#also love my 9ft four armed pink haired king but it’s time to kick the bucket baby#i’n rly sorry ur going to hell#it’s okay it’s warm down there#jjk#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#those r my second and third born sons hello#(yuta is the first born)#on that note#GEGEEEEE GIMME MY YUTA BACKKKK#gege let yuta survive and my life is yours
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.☹️
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Eddie does become quite famous for his music and that means he sometimes has to go to these mind numbing events where people will sneer at him until they recognize who he is, then they’ll suddenly pretend they’re old friends, they’ll ask for concert tickets and backstage passes
he mostly hates them but whenever Steve is able to come he’s so god damn excited. Steve’s parents used to drag him along to their business events and even though it’s different industries it’s all the same. Steve knows these crowds, he grew up with them and they bring out the bitchiest upper middle class version of him, a Steve who has passive aggression and faux politeness down to an art
Eddie will watch on in delighted awe as his husband, all while smiling mildly and sipping wine, destroys people. just cuts into them and also making everything sound nice, innocuous. Most of them don’t even realize it’s happening they just suddenly find themselves gaping, searching for words, as they’re backed into a corner
and Steve will look at them, tilt his head and wait them out, but before they get the chance to backtrack he’ll hum, shrug and walk away, Eddie on his heel asking if he wants to get out of there, like right now? or maybe find a bathroom?
#bitchy Steve using all that upper middle class bullshit to tear assholes down is so close to my heart#his mom didn’t teach him a lot but by god did she teach him how to be passive aggressive and absolutely ruin someone without them clocking#it until it’s too late#Eddie who had several awakenings in high school about mean girl Steve loves#it so so much#and Steve will be embarrassed and apologize like ‘sorry idk what happened’ and Eddie is like ‘all my wet dreams babe’#and Steve will roll his eyes but he loves that Eddie likes this part of him bc he gets insecure about being too king Steve-y#but this is like only yo people who deserves it#he doesn’t just run rampant bitching at people oh no he’ll hear or so something#he’ll even hold back and give them a chance to prove him wrong but they rarely do#that’s when he starts all honey voiced to ruin them and Eddie through it all is full on heart eyes#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#my post#dels steddie thoughts
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gabri… 🥺 aaaaa i remember when things were awful after the austrian feature race, the only happy thing about the race was gabriel's first f2 win and him rising to third in the championship… i remember saying lowkey jokingly "watch him pull some oscar piastri shit and win both championships in his rookie years" and well……. 😁😁
#so so happy for him#so well-deserved!!!!#also i think it says a lot about him that everyone wants to celebrate with him#like everyone is so happy and everyone supports this#everyone loves a good guy#tears in my eyes at the sight of his gf AND Clem lmaoooo#and such a big deal for the country and just#wow#amazing#f2
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Aiimmmssss,
We both know Zoro holds a lot of guilt on his shoulders for a variety of things, how do you help him through it? 👀
just rip my heart from my chest next time, it’ll hurt less /j .. ily ෆ
often times, the words of others does not ease the immense weight of guilt that rests on our shoulders. they can help — a temporary fix, a small bandaid over a wound in desperate need of stitches.
but what zoro needs is deeper. he needs someone to keep him company as he tries to stitch himself up with a slightly shaky hand. thread by thread, mending himself in the way he’s always known, trying to erase the shame he feels for his failures — the ones that taunt him every time he closes his eye for too long.
i’d like to think that my presence would give him a little reassurance. i’d help him whisk away all of the impure thoughts that threaten him, chasing them far, far away. there’s not much i could really say to make him feel better, but knowing that i’m there and i love him for every single piece of him, helps soothe his mind a bit.
so his hand becomes steadier, the threading becomes quicker, and the wound begins to heal.
#THANK YOU FOR ASKING !!! (she said through tears)#something i been thinking about for awhile neooooww >_<#hes got so much pride and his ‘failures’ help drive him to be better and do better for next time#i say failures lightly btw bc i dont think hes ever truly failed. not in my eyes !!! hes always done his best and i love him for it#i feel like when it comes to letting himself down he can handle it a lot better#but i know marineford haunts him all too much. sabaody too…. and that’s when a little gentleness would be good#i know he can take care of himself but !!!!!!! he doesn’t have to do it alone :(#okay i’m rambling and shaking and trembling i love him but i love u more#⌕ — spotted .ᐟ#ᡣ𐭩 𓂃 nesi besi friendo .ᐟ#🪷 ⊹ ₊ ⋆ ᴀᴍᴏʀᴏ .
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I thought I made good progress today but checked a video and what the fuck I'm not even halfway through. God bless. On one hand yesss I have SOOO much phainon content to look forward to on the other hand dear god that is a lot. Not complaining at all tho I'm excited... tho to be fair a good chunk of my progress today was spent exploring the city and I got all the chests... huge sprawling cities are always my fav maps, penacony golden hour is still peakest of peak cities to me but okhema is lots of fun too~
I gotta lock in... in preparation for maxing aven I had cleared all the content in the game up until when shackling prison released where aven stopped getting screentime and I was like what's the point of anything anymore BUT with phainon coming dear god I need to get back on the damn grind
#hsr#phainon#aventurine#nah I just wanted to yap about him and hsr#I have 5 different outlets for getting my thoughts out and none of it is enough#I just don't shut up. And I manage to say so little at the same time too. It's an art.#I like hsr a lot... might just be the new game excitement tho? I used to have the same energy for genshin but not anymore#I rag on hsr a lot for not making characters I like but when they hit the mark they hit it *hard*#ie aven phai - I love yanqing a lot too we must remember he carried the game until my 2nd reason for playing (aven) showed up#Genshin in terms of characters I like it feels more quantity over quality?#genshin characters that I love on the same level are venti and (maybe) childe#But I suppose if genshin didn't have other characters I liked as well (like hsr) I would overfocus on venti and c6 him too#Matter of circumstance I suppose.#Penacony and aven are so nostalgic and magical to me when I reminisce on it#Definitely the process and insanity + being encouraged by my friends to e6s5 him made me like aven even more#funny how it works~ penacony will always have a special place in my heart because of this memory#rubbing tears from my eyes when I say I miss aven so bad that's ^ what I mean.#I hope phainon can bring the same warmth too-!#hehe#I've been feeling a lot happier these days#anime boy saved me truly
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im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....
#im afraid of a lot as i get to the end of the game but technical things like the skill tree and subclasses aside#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it#maybe im biased cause i always play an elf but i fucking LOVE learning about elvhen history and how we shaped thedas#and then it all went to shit and our gods hated us and used tevinter to make the world worse#i highly doubt this is the last da game the series is too popular and adding that we can be trans now is a massive improvement#even if i think the lighthouse should have been more like skyhold and let us talk to companions more#and craft the armor ourselves#and ngl i think the lighthouse should have been more of a refuge for those that survived the gods attacks#like anyone from arlathen/dmeta or hossberg#idk im really only bad about the skill tree and subclasses and lack of bards tbh#but truely......the lucanis almost kiss???? everything about being a mourn watcher??? my SHATHANN CALLING ME A TWINK#this game called me a slur#and just the fucking appearance of my lil rook....he looked so blissed when under elgar'nans trance#bellara and neve were so done with my shit there 😭#i do want to play a dwarf really badly next time#or qunari because the games have built a really interesting cuture for them but never really went strongly into it other than like#the arishok and the antaam? but now they mention the devouring storm and thats probably a fuckass big dragon#but now i need to know more#im not done but veilguard very much isnt the conclusion#but my god i cant stop thinking about how vulnerable my rook actually is like from the personality ive given him from myself#if the gods or like anaris found him before varric did.....this would be a very different story and there would be a lot of tears and#begging for a shot at redemption and care#oh god wed disappoint vorgoth......might as well just kill myself if that ever happened#i just love that my rook has become more senstive as ive played and more hurt when he was already not doing so hot for personal reasons#he still has a smart mouth but he wants to cry like 9/10 times he has to make decisions#companions stop asking me to shape their lives challenges#ngl rook would absolutely stsrt bawling his eyes out over manfred begging emmerichs forgivness for wanting manfred back#i just imagine tears coming down his face as he tells emmerich manfred was a hero and he deserves another chance to keep learning so that#next time he does soemthing heroic...hes prepared and wont 'die' by doing it#cause my lil guy knows hes not smart enough to bring manfred back himself
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how are we feeling about the new netflix adaptation of avatar??!!!!!!!!!!!! the zuko casting eats and swolzai is so cool to see actually translated well (although we will see how they treat the characters in this)
HEYYYYYYOOOOO!
The only thing I’m really looking forward to from the live action is being able to gossip about it with my mutuals. I don’t really have any other opinion, I mean… it looks cool! (Sokkas hair & zukos scar bother me but ehhhh what can I do?) But I’m an animation junky, I love my anime and my cartoons (bobs burgers beloved) so I don't particularly care for the “real people actors” taking over my cartoons but I’m totally chill about it honestly.
I will ABSOLUTELY be watching it and probably will form a more solid opinion after I actually watch the show.
#Omg I had to message a friend and ask who sowlozai was hahaha#I was like ummmm I don’t know this person#& they had to hold my hand and walk my old ass through it#But yeah! I guess I’m just not the kind of person who jumps to criticism#I mean don’t get me wrong I love a good gossip sesh#Don’t tempt me with a good time haha#I see a lot of effort being put into it so I want to give everyone who worked really hard to bring this show to life a chance#I can’t just tear apart all their hard work from a few photos and a couple trailers#I know it won’t be close to the original but it might be good#I heard the one piece live action was good#Idk I’m watching one piece currently so I haven’t seen the live action but ahhh luffy is so awesome haha#Again this show could be a dumpster fire but can it be worse than the first live action movie….? I think not#*points at friend who actually likes the live action movie* HAHAHA I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE#poor dads still waiting for book two hahaha#Sorry sorry I love you don’t be mad <3#Ok well COME SCREAM AT ME WHEN YOU WATCH IT AND ILL YELL BACK!!!!!!!#& yeah they had no business making ozai look that offical… damn it live action CUT IT OUT#& im sorry but iroh is the most iroh looking iroh i could have imagined and i giggle every time i see him#But i will take jabs that Netflix threw all that money at the show and still always sunny did a burn scar on cricket 10000x better than zuk#Left eye paint job (i know it’s mean but i doubt anyone would have stopped watching if they would had added a little more realism to that…)#(They didn’t have to shave his brow but put some of that effect glue shit on it and plaster that sucker down#ONE EYE BROW ZUKO!!!!!!!!!!!! )#& sokkas jet black hair with his front poof is just …. Damn it I think it’s actually stupidly canon for them to fuck up sokkas character#THIS MUCH - but again… maybe he’ll pull it off idk I JUST DONT KNOW#The girls are perfect & fuck it when azula picked up a bow#The first thing I thought was that fucking Annie song#“Anything you can do I can do better I can do anything better than you”#Zuko works tirelessly to master his weapon#Azula picks up a bow and laughs ‘silly zuzu weapons as child’s play’ *proceeds to hit a bullseye with no effort*#BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT
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so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude
#[tears in my fucking eyes] WHAT IF DND WAS GOOD!! WHAT IF A DM THAT'S GOOD!!!#LIKE I've said actually MOST of my DMs are good but because of the way this situation was presented specifically#where-- as NOT the affected player-- it does feel like the way it came up was a little unfair and I AM worried about the stakes--#I REALLY SPENT SO MUCH OF THAT ABOVE-TABLE TALK GOING OH WOW I FEEL LIKE OUR FRIEND ACTUALLY LOVES US AND WANTS THIS TO BE FUN!!#I DON'T KNOW THAT I AGREE WITH WHAT HE'S DOING HERE BUT I TRUST MY FRIEND AND IT'S SAFE FOR US TO TALK ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS PLAYER TO DM!!#WOWIE THAT FEELS RELEVANT TO MY DND EXPERIENCE RIGHT NOW LMAO!!!#'I've looked at your stats and inventories to try to make this serious but balanced but if it doesn't work we can retool it'#'I want to be extremely clear that this situation could kill destal so I want to be extremely sure that you're comfortable with that--#-- and with how the mechanics are designed around it'#I am fucking. on my KNEES WEEPING. at the contrast with how punishing and DEEPLY unfun felix campaign has relentlessly been the whole time#and how little of a fuck it feels like THAT DM gives when he's like 'this random rolltable encounter was deadly :)'#'you guys didn't get hit last time and got all your spells back right?' uhhh wrong and wrong and we TALKED about that last time#are you gonna revisit the balance on your fifth in a row 'if you fail you'll TPK' scenario? no? yeah I figured lol#christ knows HE'S never invited feedback on his DMing. you KNOW I don't feel safe to say 'hey this doesn't feel fair or fun' with him#AND LIKE!! WITH A DM I TRUST I FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO REALLY PLAY WITH SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING!! YAY YIPPEE STAKES AND PATHOS!!!#I don't just want nothing bad to happen ever! but I don't want it to feel careless or heartless or just... Not Fun#anyway. grasping william's hands so tightly. my beloved friend. my wonderful friend. what a relief to have a DM that's good#after the shit we've been through in our now most-frequently-run campaign#the thing I'm mad about is that destal has been making a mystery saving throw every night-- but this was imperceptible to the characters#so we weren't acting on it#and now that he's failed it three times the situation is 'okay NOW you will be maming a con save every night and accumulating exhaustion'#'which can't be removed by sleeping' [six levels of exhaustion Kill You]#so like!! well okay I wish we had had ANY way of knowing how urgent this was before we got to 'now there's a deadly countdown' BUT OKAY#but like I said. he clearly put a lot of thought into the math for the mechanics#he made sure that we DO actually have ANYTHING we can do to mitigate the condition and outlined several options specifically and clearly#he checked in with justin about whether that seemed fair and opened it for future retooling if necessary#so I'm just at 'that was kind of a rugpull dude :/' instead of DESPAIRING lmao#this is a level of Oh Shit that's juicy! this is a level of Oh Shit that might force dramatic character choices out of desperation!#THIS IS AN OH SHIT WHERE WE STILL GET TO PLAY DND ABOUT IT AND HAVE ANY AGENCY WHATSOEVER. WHAT A CONCEPT.#ANYWAY!!! GOOD DND SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!
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thinking pondering to me john torres is like. what if u met a woman. with confidence and dignity and a strong moral backbone. you meet and she makes a distinct impression with her honesty and her frankness and she seems like she's always sure of what she wants and what she needs and she's so different from anyone else you know and thats exciting and she's exciting and she likes you specifically you. and you don't think much of you but it feels good to be liked by someone like that. you love her of course. you marry her. of course!
#diary#miral of course miral this post as all other posts on my blog is about miral. head in my hands#john torres and his projected insecurities and shitty behavior you will always be infamous.#im so deeply rooted in my headcanons for them i have au's . girl the universe isnt even that well established ?#call me b'elanna torres the way i'm turning miral and john over in my head to figure out what the heck happened#in my head john and miral are like. john voice she's never stuttered in her life she always knows what to do she's very serious strong head#on her shoulders. my kind of woman.#meanwhile miral is like. act first pray on it later was that a mistake? well what is a mistake really this is my path now#and i'll have to see how to handle what has been done. seeing as now it can't be changed shrugs. the honorable thing to do.#i also think they see a lot of their flaws as like-#consequences of their cultures and not like personal flaws which can sometimes be true but also sometimes they are very much flaws in the#person.#miral is a little too sure of herself bordering on arrogance and likes control. john is like ahh klingons and their surefootedness :)#<- a little correct but also very wrong.#john is very like. at his worst a cold shoulder bad at personal confrontation kind of a pushover quick to resent but usually just seems#serious and occasionally quiet . normally social tho! so miral is like. a consequence of his upbringing that can't be changed. i will#take him as he is.#which is a nice sentiment and would normally be applied well unless you are these two specifically.#what happens when its 10 or even just five years later and you're getting tired of the cowardice? what happens when its five years later and#you can't go a day without arguing? what happens then.#did you confuse her arrogance for poise for assertiveness? did you confuse her recklessness with courage? whos wrong her or you?#miral voice is he a fool does he not care? he's content to just stand by? cower?#i think from the klingon pov a man who isn't willing to fight for you and your relationship must be devastatinggggg#not literally of course here but also literally. lol#but yeah what does it do to you when the person you love won't even argue with you anymore just totally pulls away? leaves. head in my hands#who do you think fell first. idk but i know who fell harder! :) <- tears in my eyes#i really like pathways where they made miral like a chatty woman and had her offer to host parties for b'elanna and her friends it was so#sweet i should read it again.#i like her to be a little crazy though <3 :)
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Best 4 hours of my life, with the loml ♡
#googie 🐰#i know i always say this but i can never really explain the way i feel about him </3 it’s so hard to put into words#i feel so complete now god i love him so much 🥺!! even that is an understatement 😔#i think it was like? 10:30 pm when i saw the weverse notif... and now it’s past 3 am jdghbcbn#i felt so many emotions throughout everything (the wv live; the ig live; and then wv live again) but god.#i’m just way too happy that i got to see him again 🥺; i missed him a lot!#crazy how just yesterday afternoon i teared up watching a reel on ig about missing him </3 and then 6 hours later!!! he shows up 💖#lol and i had so many mini breakdowns bc of him 😭 he’s a flirt FLIRT huh 😔✋🏼! WHAT ABOUT MY WEAK LITTLE HEART SIR???#i really have no defence when it comes to jk </33... sigh. but he sang sooooo many songs 🥰🥰#including txt! svt! nwjns! i’m one happy bitch 🤩☝🏼#what a great day to be alive honestly! just hope that he gets some rest bc goddamn it’s nearly 7 am at sk now 💀#oh and!!!! WE GOT TO SEE BAM MY BABY AFTER SO LONG IM SQUEALING THEY ARE SO CUTE OMG#HOW DID I ALMOST FORGET TO MENTION THAT LIKE WHAT#it was such a bonus to see tae too 🤭#!!! i’m just really happy#i’ll add more tags later... i just want to fall asleep now bc my eyes literally can’t anymore lol#anyway... ik i’m being very delulu here but like. sorry if it bothers you; i’m like this. 🤡#will always be jeon jungkook’s bitch <3#bye bye ~ my eyes hurt 🙁#see you guys tomorrow and i love jungkook 😆... and y’all too <3
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as much as its funny hahahah im ngl im really upset that the only amount of substantial connection i feel sometimes is my own characters. like its stupid but literally isolated in my own head. hassan probably the closest thing i got to relating to somebody on a substantial level and i made him that way. lol. fuck yk. its like. Wow hassan you completely understand what im feeling and youre oddly reminiscent of my own behaviors and you share the exact same issues and everything that hurts you hurts me too and it hurts in the same way. youre the closest ive ever felt to someone. Oh wait ur not fucking real. im gonna throw up
#fool's monologue#tears in my eyes abt it but its ok#i really do love hassan. he means a lot to me#i cling onto him so hard for a reason. theres gotta be somebody else#like whatever. hes not real but hes still infinitely important and real in a way that affects me
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cat person maybe dog person not really but rat person Unequivocally
#i did not ever consider rats as pets until a friend of mine got some but now i'm fully sold on them#maybe my favorite domesticated animal#to me their little inquisitive faces and tiny hands are so charming; they're just little guys!#and they are so goofy shaped; real life squash and stretch physics#and even though they don't seem to have a lot of subroutines other than look for food or bother fellow rats#they're smart and generally good natured and they react so enthusiastically to things they enjoy#i've never been so honored by a pet's trust as when it comes from a rat cuddling into my hand or bruxing while I'm petting him#these are prey animals!! they are wary by nature! and they trust ME... augh!#i also love cats enough to for sure want to have one so idk if I'll ever get rats of my own (esp bc my qpp isn't the hugest rat fan)#but i truly love rats like no other pet#they're like the dogs of the rodent world to me. such capacity for love and joy#cats are kind of assholes even when they love you and i love that about them but i have to respect that they have their own thing going on#but rats have no such arrogance. they are just little guys and it doesn't bother them at all#sometimes a little tear comes to my eye when i see too many rat pictures#they're just so good
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