#they love each other so much omg i love them
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hey gorgeous! I was thinking abt a reader who is a bit of a gym rat and her and James become friends in the gym and every day after the gym he tells rem and siri abt this girl and then one day they all meet somewhere (maybe like grocers i dont know) and the other boys fall in love and then next time they are at the gym James asks her to go on a date with all of them in hogsmeade or something cute like that and they all start going out!!!! Obviously just ignore if that sounded horrific, love you!!💞💞
poly!marauders x reader
A/N: OMg thank you so so much for your request!! I can’t tell you how excited it made me and you’re so incredibly kind! I really hope you enjoy and I hope I did your idea justice. Also let me know if you’d want a part two. I have some ideas!
You poke your head around the corner, eyes searching until you find him. A brick wall of a human, well more like a Greek god. You wave when James’ eyes meet yours in the mirror. He drops his weights and you try not to look at his arms, his hands.
"You're going lighter," you tease instead, gesturing to his abandoned weights.
"And you're late." He smiles at you.
"Ugh, I know." Little does he know you were obsessing over every part of your outfit and fussing with your hair. You were down bad, but you knew you couldn't be blamed entirely. You'd seen the looks of other girls, and guys, in the gym whenever James was around, yet somehow you seemed to have garnered his attention.
It all started when he saved you from an unsavory man at the bench press. You'd asked him to spot you, but apparently, he had taken that as more of an invitation than it was. He'd followed you around the gym the entire time, ranting on and on about aspects of himself that he thought made him attractive. After a half-hour of cold shoulder, he still didn't back off. He kept trying to put his hand on your waist, persistently asking for your phone number.
"Take a hint dude," James said, pulling the man's hand off your waist. He tried to brush James off saying something about how you wanted him there. James made eye contact with you and the look you gave was all he needed. "Seriously man, shove off." Finally, after a particularly withering look from James, the man backed off cursing you for being a tease.
"Thanks," you said, a hand pressed to your lips, clearly shaken. The whole thing made him incredibly angry. He watched your gaze follow the man across the gym, nervous.
"I'm at the weights if you want to join." The rest was history. Since then James made the gym a safe place for friendly competition and you wouldn't trade it for the world. Even if you did dream of the idea of having something more.
James had been pretty transparent from the beginning about his relationship. The way he talked about them you felt like you practically knew his boyfriends. He talked about the two almost every chance he got. The way he lit up each time you asked about them, you could tell he loved them.
"Oh don't let me forget I have something for you," he said from his station at the treadmill next to you. "I was telling Remus about that book you were telling me about, and he said he had one you might like."
The idea of him talking about you in his home to his boyfriend made your head swim. "You were talking about me?" you half laugh half puff.
"Of course," he said looking at you like it was the silliest question in the world. "I talk about them when I'm with you."
By the end of it you were both sweaty messes, but you still let him hang an arm on your shoulder as you left.
That night James is cooking dinner, and he can’t get his mind off of you. “I'm telling you guys. She's borderline angelic. I mean how can anyone look that good after a workout for real?”
“I’ve seen you after a good workout Jamesie,” Sirius says, eyes salacious across the kitchen island.
Pointedly ignoring him, James continues, “She’s just so nice, the sweetest really. I wish you guys could meet her.” He strains noodles over the sink, the steam clouding his glasses.
“I’m sure she’s lovely, and probably twice as gorgeous as you described, but Remus and I do not do gyms, dear.”
“You could always invite her for dinner,” Remus says, stirring sauce on the stove.
“Oh yeah, come on over to my flat and meet my boyfriends even though we never really see each other outside the gym and I could totally be a murderer for all you know.”
“But you’re not a murderer,” Sirius laughs.
“And how is she supposed to know that?” James pours the pasta into the sauce as Remus stirs.
“If you’re too shy to ask, that’s fine love,” Remus says, knowing exactly what he’s doing.
You think the grocery stockers are out to get you. Your favorite granola is always on the highest shelf and this time it’s pushed back ungodly far. You're about to climb the shelves when you hear someone behind you.
“I can help,” the man says. Of course he has to be drop dead gorgeous with honey brown hair and a worn sweater.
“Thanks,” you say, trying not to fumble over yourself.
“Oi Moony, they had your ice cream,” you hear from down the aisle, and to your surprise, you know that voice.
“James?” you call peering over the shoulder of the man trying to hand you your granola. When you see the dark haired man next to James the pieces start to fall into place. There’s James next to what has to be Sirius and the man in front of you must be…
“Remus, I see you’ve met y/n,” James says walking to the two of you. “He must be putting the moves on you. He would just let us struggle.” James winks at you. Remus, on the other hand, is still reeling from your smile. It was like watching the way he feels when he sees James and Sirius played out right on your pretty features.
Your almost star struck. It feels like meeting celebrities the way James talks about them. “It’s nice to meet you,” you say, smiling wide, hugging the granola to your chest. “James talks about you all the time.” It’s a funny feeling to have faces to add to all the stories you’ve heard before.
“Funny, we could say the same thing,” Sirius says, giving James a look you don’t quite understand.
“Sirius was starting to get jealous,” Remus jokes.
“Yeah, of James,” Sirius says, winking at you. His flirtatious persona falters for a second when you laugh. He’s caught by the sound, and once it's over he already wants to hear it again. James was right, you're magic. “Who’d have thought we’d find an angel in the cereal aisle of all places.”
“Or the gym.” James smiles.
They’re flirting with you. It feels nice you have to admit, but it’s starting to make your cheeks burn and your head spin.
“It’s been so lovely to meet you,” you say to them both, “but sadly I have to run.” It’s almost like they deflate.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” James asks, expectant.
“Of course,” you smile, “don’t be late, it’s leg day.” He gives a dramatic groan, but you see his smile never falter.
As you leave you hear James say, “I told you.”
James is all smiles the next day, well he’s usually pretty smiley, but he seems particularly bright today. You got there early just to tease him but his expression winds you.
“How are you?” James always asks like he truly wants to know.
You set your shoulders, hands on your hips, “ready to crush you.” He answers with a hearty laugh and you fall into the same comfortable routine you’re used to. First is warm up squats.
“Remus and Sirius were quite taken with you.” You try to stamp down the butterflies in your stomach. It’s not really working.
“Me? You’re the ones who could be models.” You hope your flustering comes across closer to being winded. You notice James has stopped and now he’s just standing at your side. “Flattery doesn’t get you out of squats James,” you say pointing a finger to the ground.
“Actually I wanted to ask you something,” he says, he looks shy for once, a hand pulling at the back of his neck. You feel your stomach swoop, but you’re not trying to get your hopes up.
“Of course,” you say, feeling somewhat like a deer in headlights.
“Well, we were wondering… I mean I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now, but now they’re really on me. Anyways,” his gaze meets yours, “would you like to go out sometime… with us?”
“Like a date?” you ask wide-eyed.
“Yeah,” he smiles, “Only if you’d want to though.” You’ve never seen him actually look nervous before. It’s endearing really, charming even.
“Yes,” you say, you’re practically bouncing on your feet, newly energized. “I’d really like that.”
James smiles wide, it’s a smile he wears with his whole face, crinkling eyes and dimpled cheeks. Just like that James is critiquing your form and things are back to normal, but really they probably just changed forever.
Hogsmeade is bustling with Autumn. Leaves flood the sides of the streets from where they flutter off stray branches. It’s like a scene from the movies except you’re in it and the scene is yours. You could be floating for all you know.
Sirius is just as charming as James said. The four of you come upon a wishing well, and Sirius declares that you have to toss it over your shoulder for the wish to come true. After four successful tosses he looks at you conspiratorially. “What’d you wish for?” He smiles at you with a tilt of his head like he thinks he could guess, and you feel a blush burning your cheeks.
“She can’t tell you, Pads, it won’t come true,” Remus says, shaking his head as he falls into step behind you. Remus asks you about the book he recommended. Bashful, you confess you haven’t finished. He feigns shock but it’s short lived.
“That’s okay, no spoilers then, for now.” He points a finger in warning. “I can’t make any promises for next time.” Next time, you really like the sound of next time.
As the night marches forward and the weather grows colder you find yourselves in the three broomsticks, steaming butterbeer warming you from the inside out. Talking to them is borderline dizzying. You’ve never had such undivided attention. Remus listens to everything you say like he’s taking notes, and Sirius like he’s drinking you in, hanging off of everything you say. He has a sharpness to his eyes that would be intense if he wasn’t practically melting into James. James smiles like he has everything in the world.
#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders#marauders x reader#james potter#james potter x reader#sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#marauders#x reader#marauders era#the marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s#marauders fluff#is it obvious i don't go to the gym#we've all seen those hot gym videos though
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This Week in BL - Some Surprises
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
NOV 2024 Week 1
Ongoing Series - Thai
Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 5 of 16 - I love this show, but I absolutely hate the main couple's communication style. Or complete lack of communication style. I really hope the other couples are not gonna be this bad and it’s just because this one is leaning into the worst of BL archetypes. But I’m not confident. Poor Ter dating Hill put a big old target on his back. Earth being a dramatic stressed gay queen was peak comedy tho. Apparently the good kisses are only on WeTV (I am annoyed) so props to the giffers who keep me supplied. You're doing the BL gods work.
I suddenly realized, after the bullying sequence, that one of the reasons I’m liking this so much is it reminds me of early Japanese yaoi. There’s something about the dynamics of the characters and the way they're reacting to situations that’s not very Thai BL feeling. And if I think of this is more JBL, I forgive it. Or maybe that’s just why I’m liking it so much despite its flaws? Difficult to understand my own feels about this show.
Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t like this new evil-bonkers rich kid character and whatever is going on with Jack and Rose and that whole story. It’s boring. And then my brain short circuited. No further thoughts... just War in a wife beater.
Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 15 - Phun's bitch face really is epically wonderful. I kinda enjoy everybody ribbing the two of them because they have no idea what’s actually going on. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here.
Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 9 of 12 - Omg cutest boyfriends EVER. I don’t even mind how cheesy their bf era is. Does this lull jive with the rest of the story? Nope. But ya know that’s GMMTV’s thing these days, flailing during the final act.
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) ep 1 of 24 - Pretty standard Thai BL university fair. I am hoping it’s better than ForceBook’s previous offering. Yet another sniff test. Is this the trope of the year? Meanwhile, they also deployed the crash into me trope in episode one. Who do they think they are? Taiwan?
New is directing this uni BL with a massive cast + massive run time. It's an endurance test ya'll - we will be watching this until APRIL of 2025! Su su na.
Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - I really like that they had the bandwidth to give us a little side couple with this installment. Fun crumbs. Meanwhile, the thing with the shirt in front of the mirror was extremely sexy. This installment was very sad though. And, of course, I’m not happy about it. To top it all off, next week is musical themed, so you know I’m disgruntled about it.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 13 - Aw spoiled neglected rich boy wants to be cared for and spoiled honestly. I do love them. Also tiny idiot syndrome is spreading.
Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - The side couple (teacher student, hyung romance but he’s using em) interesting. Not sure how I feel about them. The subs are so bad it’s largely incomprehensible but I’m still enjoying it for no defensible reason.
My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 5 of 7 - I love that our uke can be such a little shit. I love it when a tsundere has some serious snark and attitude to back his petulance up. Also liquid courage. At least we got to the root of the tsundere. Also neck kisses and cuddles!
Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 7-8 of 12 - Oooo, cute kiss. Drunken but adorable. I do like it when they use older Korean actors in KBL, they actually know how to kiss. Has the kiss saved this show? Possibly. I’m shallow.
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 7 of 10 eps - Our con man is such a good little homemaker. And it’s sexy yukata time! Love this trope.
Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Same plot as the Thai original, only from Japan. Very similar so far. I hope Rei is a bit more smart and Arashi is a bit less of a sleaze. I still get too much secondhand embarrassment and my mame alert is blaring. I'm wary.
Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 1-2 - Triggers for child abuse, alcoholism. Two artists, one an abused rich kid and the other a tough scrappy poor kid, in the same art prep school. I of course adore the side couple of the much younger kid and the older teacher. Oh, I do like it. But it's CBL, I'm very scared as to where it might go.
Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YouTube) ep 1 of 10 - Influencer Wan Xiong suffers from insomnia, it’s a physical and mental battle. As he tried to find a solution, he encounters five boys along the way. I'm putting this on the list because it's airing and I just found out about it but I didn't have time to watch it yet. I hear it's v weird.
It's airing but...
The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - Supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 4 of 8 - I put this one on pause. It's too heavy for me right now. I'll wait to know if the ending is hard fought happy (and then watch) or not (and won't finish). Sorry all, rough times this side of the screen.
Random I watched it
Vending Machine Sabi Koi AKA Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan 2023) - This show is utterly adorable, impossibly awkward, and kinda old fashioned. About a cute nerdy little office worker (he's out!) who has a big'ol crush on the tall hulking vending machine guy. They fall in love. And that’s it. And it’s charming. There’s some first name eroticism, because Japan, and there's emphasis on communication, which is so not Japan, but turns this into an organically loving and talkative relationship. There’s a bit of an age gap, and our office cutie may or may not have a muscles fetish (the hot bod not the shellfish) because (if I’ve told you once I’ve told you 1 million times) Japan always goes kinky. And you know what, I loved it. 9/10
Next Week Looks Like This:
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
November BL:
11/4 Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Mon Gaga?) 11 eps - Minase was an exemplary high school student who hates Hirukawa, head bully and top delinquent. But then Minase uncovers Hirukawa’s secret and the two get intimate.
11/15 Caged Again (Thai Fri WeTV) 10 eps - Penguin escapes zoo by turning into a human. Gets trapped again and a panther falls in love with him.
11/17 Your Sky (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - Due to an unforeseen situation, a naive freshman and the campus’s popular senior agree to pretend to be a couple - but their fake deal begins to generate real feelings.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
Honor the crumbs indeed. This pair is so much crumbs it's practically dust. (Love Sick 2014)
God he is so stupidly in love.
(lask week)
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.
#this week in BL#BL updates#Jack & Joker#Jack and Joker#fourever you#Perfect 10 Liners#Eccentric Romance#Teenager Judge#Kidnap the series#Love Sick 2024#Love in the Air Koi no Yokan#Love in the Air Japan#Every You Every Me#My Damn Business#Blue Canvas of Youthful Days#Love is Like a Poison#Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru#upcoming BL#BL news#BL reviews#BL gossip#Thai BL#Vietnamese BL#Japanese BL#live action yaoi#Koren BL#BL starting soon#BL coming soon#uncle unknown#Vending Machine Sabi Koi
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I actually love your hcs so much your writing is scrumptious frfr, anywayyy
what about some Daisuke Christmas (or Valentine’s Day, or user bday or smth, idk SOME special day) hcs? :3
Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader (gender not mentioned but that's what I had in mind while writing this)
HC: Christmas and Valentine's Day with Daisuke!!
Warnings: a bit boring and cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(A/N): Tysm!!!🔥🔥 I love Daisuke so much and I just feel like Jimmy should've died before even setting foot on the Tulpar, just my opinion <3 -> m.list
★CHRISTMAS
Okay so this man is gonna be all giddy like a little kid
If you're on the Tulpar he'll feel so bad and disappointed because like... What can he gift you??😔
He's still gonna find a way to offer you something, just anything really. He hopes you like it, but doesn't expect you to do so, since the Tulpar has limited resources so you can't really just wrap anything up and call it a present.
He doesn't expect you to give him something either, because he understands there's not much you can offer around the ship.
BUT if you do manage to somehow gift him ANYTHING, he will gladly take it.
He's gonna suggest giving something to the rest of the crew too!
HE'S the one who would gather the crew together and he's gonna have a gift ready for each one of them.
You and Swansea WILL have the best presents out of everyone🙌
IF you're on land? Oh, man you're gonna get EVERYTHING you've wanted this year.
Daisuke is so sweet he's gonna get you sooo many things, might even save up to give you jewelry if you like it!!
It doesn't matter if what you want is expensive, he'll manage somehow
IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD🗣️🗣️
Since you're on land he fully expects you to give him something, so prepare
It could be a hand crafted gift that barely hangs on a thread and he'll STILL treasure it and keep it in his room as a trophy.
If it's something he's wanted for a long time he might break down crying😀
Enough with the presents, let's get onto decorations
SO we all know there's not much stuff to do aboard the Tulpar, BUT Daisuke WILL craft something together with you just to give a bit of Christmas vibes instead of the same dull hallways...
He's gonna want a Christmas tree so bad😔
IF you're on land, prepare to have the most lit up house ever
He's gonna go ALL OUT because according to him "It's not Christmas everyday" so you gotta make the most of it
Christmas lights, ornaments (even handmade ones, it feels more special that way), a big Christmas tree to make up for the time he was on the ship... Pretty much everything you can think of
He's so excited about it too😋
OMG BAKES COOKIES WITH YOU
Probably Christmas tree shaped, depends on the mood
He's probably average at baking, but if you're silly with it he's also gonna be silly with it and make the kitchen a MESS
And you both will clean it up together because like I said in my other posts, he includes you in everything☺️
Lowkey I feel like if you guys are on land he'd want to spend Christmas with Swansea too, maybe even Anya
But they probably won't be able to visit so oh well😢
★VALENTINE'S DAY
Unfortunately, if you're on the Tulpar, there might be some problems.
Again, limited resources😔
But Daisuke still tries, maybe he'll get creative and craft you a little gift with hearts everywhere!!
I mentioned in another post that he likes passing notes with you, so just imagine him pulling out a cute note with "Happy Valentine's Day!" with hearts and little doodles of you everywhere
Swansea probably gets so tired of you two being all lovey dovey the whole day, but he understands it's special and as long as you're both happy🤷♀️
At night he's gonna cuddle with you and apologize for the day being so boring, promising you that once you're back home you two will have the best Valentine's Day ever
In case you're on land...
Prepare to probably bawl your eyes out
He's just sooo cute and sweet
He'll plan this all out, and make this day better than any other.
Daisuke will buy you the biggest bouquet of flowers he could find, they're also your favourite and the wrapping is your favourite color😍
Not only that, he's gonna buy you the basic teddy bear. EXCEPT, it's like, two times your size. It's so big and cuddly🥺
He's gonna buy you chocolates, your favourite again!! Heart shaped box take it out leave it
He might search on google "cute gifts for valentine's day"
And he's gonna make you one of those cute crafted stuff with a list of everything he loves about you (and it's like 6 feet long with small handwriting), it's gonna be sooo cute😫
DAISUKE WILL SOOO TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER SOMEWHERE YOU LIKE
If you're not big on public places he's gonna take you to an empty area where the two of you can stargaze (as if you're not tired of seeing stars) or just enjoy a beautiful view, exchanging stories or just cute talk <33
He's so cheesy he might make a petal trail to your bed with candles and all🤭
Just be careful you two might burn something, I mean it's Daisuke we're talking about
And after all that he's gonna run you two a bath, but GUESS WHAT, it's also gonna have candles all around😣
After that, you two head to bed, completely exhausted since you just had like, the BEST day ever
And you two cuddle while drifting to sleep🙂↕️🙂↕️
★yoyomiko ★miko
#x reader#reader#reader insert#f!reader#fem!reader#female reader#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing daisuke#curly mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#daisuke mouthwashing x reader#daisuke x female reader#daisuke x y/n#daisuke headcanons#daisuke x reader#daisuke#mouthwashing x female reader#x you#x y/n#daisuke x you#headcanons#mouthwashing headcanon#★yoyomiko#★miko
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DBDA nightly analysis #15! (holy shit i can’t believe i’ve been doing this for over two weeks omg)
tonight’s topic is a bit outside of the content within dbda and is more about dbda within the sphere of media we have in the world.
something i realized not long ago and that i spoke about with my amazing psych professor (shout out my prof she’s fucking amazing but i’m not saying her name bc im scared of the internet) is the excessive emphasis that we as a society place on romantic relationships.
i would be willing to argue that love is the main theme of every single piece of media out there. this includes romantic love, yes, but also familial love and platonic love and self-love and a love of your craft and of your hobbies and a love of a concept like power. society is based around love. love is the most powerful motivator in existence.
think of the most popular media you can and i promise you that you can see where love comes into play.
it is also an objective reality that there is a disproportionate amount of media out there that is exclusively about romantic love. romantic love is important for lots of people (not everyone, mind you) and i love a good romance story, but it’s rather unfortunate that all other types of love get pushed to the side so often in favor of highlighting romantic love.
this incredible show, however, isn’t that. there is certainly lots of romance within this show and lots of triangles and circles and pentagons and other shapes in this show, but the main emphasis is friendship and that’s a breath of fresh air in the romance driven world we live in.
charles and edwin are, above all else, best friends. they are each other’s other half and they have been for decades. edwin confesses to charles nearly immediately after he discovers his romantic feelings because of how much he adores charles as a person. he is the most important person to him and he cannot bear hiding something from his other half. he confesses because he loves him as a person. as a friend. as charles. he can’t handle hiding any aspect of himself from his best friend. even when he tells niko that he told the boy he likes that he likes him, he says that he doesn’t like him back, but that they are “better friends because of it.” he cares more about charles knowing him than he needs him in that way. though it would be nice if the love of his life liked him back in the same way, him remaining his best friend is more than enough for edwin. him still loving him is enough for edwin.
charles’ love for edwin as a friend is also exactly what causes him to not immediately rule out a sense of romantic attraction to him. he could've very easily said "i love you, but not in that way," but he doesn't because he owes it to the person he loves more than anything to mull over this. even still, he does profess his love to him right there, only, it’s not romantic. he tells him that nothing would ever destroy their bond and that he's the only person he would ever risk following to literal hell. he tells him that he’s everything and that nothing could change that. he’s his best friend and that means something. it means more than simple romantic/physical attraction does. charles’ dedication and love for edwin is much more important than monty or tck’s attraction to him and him meeting a confession with “i can’t say im in love with you back, but you are the most important person to me,” is so much more impactful than if they had just begun dating right then.
when edwin discovers that monty betrayed them the entire time, his initial reaction is the most hurt "were you just pretending to be my friend?" i have ever heard in my life. he, most out of all the characters, values friendship over everything else.
we also see this when he's being tortured by esther. he's whimpering and shouting, but it's measly compared to the guttural scream he lets out when niko is struck. he cares more about her than he cares about his own pain and suffering.
niko hasn't had friends, as she says in E4 when talking to the shopkeeper. she does now and she's willing to face possible death for them at every turn, a thing that she has professed her fear of. she tells the sprites that she's scared of death, as her father has passed rather recently and she nearly did the episode before this one. literally the episode after she fully gets introduced, she decides to go and face her greatest fear to try and save them. she literally dies jumping in front of crystal and taking the blow for her despite the fact that that’s her greatest fear imaginable.
crystal never really had friends either as she was a selfish and shitty person before she lost her memories. she had people she called her friends, but it was never a healthy relationship as we see through her memories. with charles and edwin and niko, she forms a quick bond and is incredibly loyal to them. she tries to follow edwin, who she doesn't even think likes her very much, to hell and faces her abusive ex to do so.
jenny would do anything for those kids, following crystal to face aforementioned abusive (literal demon) ex and standing up for them wherever else she can despite not knowing a single thing about the supernatural.
niko is probably the first friend tragic mick has. the first person who listens to him and he provides not only intel on how to take esther down, but only genuine and concerned warning for facing such a dangerous witch as esther, as well as a charm that saves niko's life in the long run.
as @spaceraph pointed out, even the night nurse who is someone that clearly does not have many intimate social connections of her own is impacted by (non-romantic) love. she is genuinely touched by kashi’s friendship and it changes her perspective on what she ends up doing with the boys in E7. shes also incredibly emotionally affected when seeing the exchange between charles and edwin in his flashback to his death. she begins crying despite having been rather cold and calculated in all other scenes she is present in. love affects even her.
this show is filled with love and dedication to others, and it's so beautiful to see much more of an emphasis on platonic and interpersonal love vs. strictly caring about the romantic aspect of things. it's rather beautiful and wildly important. it’s held to the highest regard and that is so important to see.
#erebus psychoanalyzes things nightly!#i love psychoanalyzing everything <3#psychoanalysis#character analysis#dbda character analysis#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#niko sasaki#crystal palace#jenny green#tragic mick#monty finch#save dbda#dead boy detective agency#love#media analysis#the importance of#platonic love
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everytime i read this series i feel like im entering the battlefield 🚬😮💨my annotations below hehe ⬇️
It was unthinkable to be contemplating about gravestones. How could you sum up your family in limited words or dates, let alone choose a font for it?
ur writing has such PERSONALITY in it, i swear to god when i read this in beta, i was so in awe
Your first thought had been telling Topper, your only real family left, but he was as much Rafe’s as he was yours, and when it came down to it, he was still his best friend. Loyal to him since they were five, and jesus knows how he’d react if he found out about this. He’d most likely freak the fuck out and tell Rafe everything, thinking he was doing the right thing, or worse, letting it slip to Ruthie.
this parallels perfectly to the first chapter where topper called rafe when reader was leaving, so not only is this paragraph giving us an at-point breakdown, but it's referring evidence that topper would slip and tell rafe
It’s then you recognized how small your world was. How few people were truly yours.
their lives are so intertwined that reader doesn't know who to turn to when she needs independence 😭 oh curse rafe and his big dick
Today, it was just you, a few kids and teens dotted along the beach with oversized trash bags. It wasn’t even noon, but the sun felt like it was scorching you alive. It was laughable, really, standing under this blistering sun with a cheap trash bag and an endless stretch of sand to clean.
this specific paragraph i wanted to highlight because i thought it was so descriptive and imaginative, but simplistic in a way that didn't feel like it was purple prose.
The kids were watching you again, with that look of curiosity. You couldn’t look them in the eye. It wasn’t their fault. They just didn’t understand that sometimes the grown-ups didn’t know what they were doing either.
the last line EATS BITCH IT EATS
“You should sit down.”
oh suck a dick
It was hard to believe the two of you had once burned hotter than any bonfire, two people who got under each other’s skin, in love, and in hate.
in love to hate omg
Instead, he narrowed his eyes, “You think I don’t know what fine looks like? I was there.”
THIS IS SO COLD BUT IT SHOWED HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO WELL, HOW INTERTWINED THEY ARE WITH ONE ANOTHER
And the worst part? You could see that frustration in his eyes, the same look he used to give you when he’d reached his limit with you. You wondered if he ever got to that point with Sofia.
i would crashout
Sofia—the one who looked like she'd been ripped off from some perfect postcard, all wide-eyed sweetness and gentle smiles. She probably never challenged him, snapped back, or made him want to pull his hair out.
hm.
This was a version of you only Rafe could bring out.
they're so toxic and dynamic and i love them
Your chest hurt like you’d been run over a hundred times—it felt suffocating. “I hate you.” For the first time, you thought he might actually leave you here.
that stopped me cold i had to write something in my diary
His fingers stopped as if your words had made an impact, his lips pressed into a thin line. Your vision blurred as he leaned in, his touch hovering as if to wipe away the tear running down your cheek, but he didn’t, instead, he closed his hand into a fist and drew back, his face just inches from yours. A faint, humorless smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he clicked the seatbelt into place. He made a low humming noise, that thing he did when he was getting ready to make someone feel two inches tall. "Yeah? Get in line."
LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN I'M LISTENING TO BAD OMENS BY 5SOS AND IT'S AT THE BEATS AND WHILE I READ THIS, IT FITTED PERFECTLY OHMYGOD
Rafe drove fast, every rev of the engine matching the churning in your stomach perfectly. You sat there, trembling, the dread building with every mile that passed. You gripped the seatbelt so hard it felt like your entire body might go numb, and stared straight ahead, breathing shallow, trying to ignore the sting in your eyes.
i wanted to highlight this specific paragraph because i adore the writing, something about it made me feel every single atom of the scene
“Would you stop?” His voice softened for the first time, as if he was trying to reach some part of you that he thought still cared. “You look like you haven’t slept in days, like you haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t out of a vending machine. I know you don’t want my help, but can you just stop for a second and—” “And what?” you interrupted. “And think! If you don’t get in there, I’ll drag you in myself.” Your heart raced, “You wouldn’t dare.” Rafe stepped closer; his jaw set in determination. “Try me.” “You’re not coming in." He blinked like the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. “What?”
HE DIDN'T EXPECT THAT SHIT NO NO
“Yeah, I got someone.”
that's right baby tell em
💌 — ugh, something about this part has been so dynamic, in the way it's constructed, the way it flows so naturally, the way the dialogues are so emotionally-charged but bounces off one another seamlessly. it was like i was watching a perfectly-curated film, where the dialogues were performed by seasoned actors. i love love their arguments. i love how intense it always gets, how they have this push-pull against each other, this hate-love, this line they can't even comprehend nor define. and i love how you written it so beautifully, that you communicate the intensity and depth of this relationship but aggression, tension, and hurt.
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - FIVE
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mention of pregnancy; abortion; lack of self-care
You’ve had to make a lot of unfortunate decisions in your life.
Choosing a place for your entire family to rest for eternity, picking the caskets, the headstones—it felt like deciding which curtains to buy for the house, except you were burying your entire close family.
After the crash, your parents were gone instantly, just like that—no goodbyes, no warning, just there one moment and gone the next.
But your sister survived. Three days. You thought maybe that was a sign, she’d live despite everything, and you wouldn’t be left alone.
Two weeks later, the doctors told you it was time, but you couldn’t accept it. You held her hand, begging her to stay, telling her every promise you could think of if she opened her eyes.
When the monitors finally went flat, you couldn’t feel anything but desperation. Rafe had to pull you out of there, his arms locked around you while you kicked and screamed, sobbing and begging your sister not to go, not to leave you here.
You fought him with everything you had left, clawing, crying, pleading for just one more second. You were screaming so loud you didn’t even recognize your voice. Everything good had been ripped away from your hands, there was nothing left of the world you’d known.
After that, you remember sitting in some stuffy funeral home office, skimming through catalogs and hardly seeing the pages through your tears. The caskets all looked the same, the types of wood made no difference to you, fabric linings, all of it felt so wrong.
None of it was a choice you should have to make.
It was unthinkable to be contemplating about gravestones. How could you sum up your family in limited words or dates, let alone choose a font for it?
You just picked something neutral and blank, something that didn’t require thought or emotion because, by then, you had nothing left to give.
Now you were trapped again, caught between a rock and a hard place.
Your first thought had been telling Topper, your only real family left, but he was as much Rafe’s as he was yours, and when it came down to it, he was still his best friend. Loyal to him since they were five, and jesus knows how he’d react if he found out about this. He’d most likely freak the fuck out and tell Rafe everything, thinking he was doing the right thing, or worse, letting it slip to Ruthie.
Ruthie—no chance you’d involve her. She’d just see this as another fucked up piece of gossip she could hold over your head, another way to judge or control you. She was “friend” only in the loosest sense of the word.
Kelce was the last person you’d consider turning to for something this serious. He has always been there, but you never got close. He was too much of an instigator, always pushing Rafe to do reckless things he’d regret later, peer pressuring him in ways that made you wonder if he even knew what loyalty meant. He had this weird loyalty to Ruthie, defending her comments as if she was some misunderstood angel when really, she was just… mean.
So that left Sarah.
It felt weird, thinking of her as the person you’d call on for something so serious, she was the only one who felt… safe. She wouldn’t judge, wouldn’t pry, she’d seen what the worst kind of family conflict could do, and she’d keep this private, just for you.
It’s then you recognized how small your world was. How few people were truly yours.
You were pretty sure no one in this town would fully understand, they’d just offer their "advice," as if they knew you, seen what you’d been through.
The truth was, they didn’t know shit. They hadn't seen you holding your sister’s hand, begging her to stay alive. They didn’t know what it was like to bury everything that made you feel like a person, like you belonged somewhere, and have to get up the next day like nothing happened.
Nine days, you would be halfway across the country, and you needed someone. You pictured saying it out loud: “I’m pregnant", just those two words, to someone’s face, you had no idea what to say next.
Maybe you’d tell them that it wasn’t about wanting it gone out of spite or shame, but because you couldn’t bring a child into a world where you felt this alone.
Earlier that morning, you’d stared down at your phone, thumb itching to click on Sarah’s name, like just pressing "call" could fix everything. You despised how needy it made you feel—reaching out, when you’d prided yourself on surviving alone.
You didn’t have much time to ponder about it, because you were stuck at the beach cleanup.
Just like every other summer, another "social responsibility" event that your late father’s foundation insisted you smile through. Even back then, when they were alive, your summers were a carousel of charity galas, fundraisers, endless hours of small talk, and impeccably arranged seating charts.
The board members of the foundation probably thought it would “ground” you—remind you of your privilege, of your “responsibility” to give back. As if a couple of hours and a few bags of garbage would somehow balance the scales. They never seemed to understand how much of it was all for show, this shallow idea that if you looked the part, no one would care to learn more.
But, still, you’d show up. You always did. Smile, make just enough small talk to appease the right people.
Today, it was just you, a few kids and teens dotted along the beach with oversized trash bags. It wasn’t even noon, but the sun felt like it was scorching you alive. It was laughable, really, standing under this blistering sun with a cheap trash bag and an endless stretch of sand to clean.
Kie, who was so genuinely invested in this whole “save the planet” thing it was almost enviable was there too with JJ, who was running around her as usual, wearing his ‘I’m just here for the ride’ expression but enjoying himself. The love between them made you miss having someone who cared in ways that weren’t just calculated moves.
She waved at you from the shoreline, her eyes moving to the trash bag you were barely half-filling.
You weren’t friends, but if Sarah liked her, you did too.
You offered a faint smile back, tired, because between all the shit you’d been thinking about, you'd forgotten to eat, to drink anything, and every time you leaned down to grab another crumpled plastic bottle or a bit of seaweed-laden garbage, you felt like your legs were about to give out on you.
Every now and then, she would throw a quick, appraising glance your way, like she was expecting you to miraculously become invested in the beach’s ecosystem.
You didn’t have it in you to pretend this was enjoyable today. The “effortless” philanthropy your family loved was a lifestyle you’d never bought into. It didn’t matter how many smiling photos of you had ended up on some charity’s social media—you knew you’d rather be anywhere else.
You had to take a break every few minutes, leaning against a pier post, trying to get yourself together as a few of the younger kids gave you wary glances. You could have left—probably should have.
You managed a tight-lipped smile, giving a thumbs-up that said, Just doing great over here, guys!
You were in a long t-shirt, which hung over your bikini and shorts, the fabric slightly oversized, to help hide what was still a small change in your body. Paranoia was your new best friend, always worrying that someone would notice something different, even if you didn’t have a noticeable bump yet.
Bending down to grab another plastic bottle, you felt a stab of nausea hit you hard, rolling up from your stomach, thick and sour, but you ignored it. Not here. Not now.
You straightened up too fast, and your vision blurred slightly, that familiar sense of vertigo hitting you. You took a shallow breath, ignoring the burn at the back of your throat, your hands shaking slightly as you adjusted the bag slung over your shoulder.
One girl looked up at you with these wide eyes kids like to pull, “Are you okay?”
You smiled, brushing it off as if you weren’t about two seconds away from collapsing. “Of course. Just... need a second.”
The kids were watching you again, with that look of curiosity. You couldn’t look them in the eye. It wasn’t their fault. They just didn’t understand that sometimes the grown-ups didn’t know what they were doing either.
Just a few more bags of trash and you’d be able to get back to your car, maybe grab some water from the cooler in the trunk, sit down, and think about it.
This used to be easy, you got a weird kind of enjoyment from these cleanups, running around with your sister, making it a competition to see who could pick up the most trash, laughing until your stomachs hurt over stupid jokes about jellyfish and sunscreen. Back then, this was just one of a thousand little family traditions, one of those things that felt effortless.
Now, sweat dripped down the back of your neck, making your skin prickle uncomfortably.
You’d long given up wiping it away, knowing that it would only come back thicker and hotter the next second. Every instinct told you to run off to the parking lot, and sit in the car with the AC blasting until your body remembered it didn’t hate you.
Leaning down for one last bottle wedged in the sand, your legs wobbled and gave way beneath you. Just like that, your vision was spotty, as if someone had turned down the brightness on the entire beach, and you pitched forward.
Just as you felt yourself going down, a hand caught your arm, pulling you back up.
"Whoa, whoa, you okay?" A teenage boy, maybe sixteen, gripped your arm firmly, keeping you upright.
How much longer could they realistically expect you to go on, plastering on that sweet, dutiful smile? How much “grounding” could one person take?
You blinked, trying to clear the haze in your eyes, "I’m fine. Just a little lightheaded, really, it’s fine,” you insisted, but then a shadow loomed beside you.
Your vision was so foggy that it took seconds for you to register it.
You looked up slowly, feeling a familiar drop in your stomach as you realized who it was.
The last time you’d been this close to him, the two of you had been screaming insults across the room, Lily having to physically step in. She’d forced him to leave before you two killed each other. It was a miracle you hadn’t punched him then and there.
“You should sit down.”
It felt like a sidekick to your chest.
The sound of his voice was grinding on your nerves, and just like that you were stuck back in your dream, a real memory, leaning against him, his hand playing with a strand of your hair as he laughed at something you’d said, the two of you carefree under a golden sunset.
Except this was real.
Rafe was shirtless, with his board tucked under one arm, surf wax staining his fingers, and the sun glinting off his damp skin, like he was God’s gift to the Outer Banks. His buzzed hair was dark and wet, droplets trailing down his temples and catching along his jawline. His cheeks were flushed, a little red from the heat.
You looked away, somewhere over his shoulder, anywhere but at him, refusing to let him see you in this fragile state.
“Go away. I’m fine.”
But he didn’t move.
He’d been summoned from your absolute worst memories, catching you at your lowest when you least wanted his help. Typical.
“No,” he refused firmly, with that stupid, stubborn look that made you want to throw something at his head. “I’ve seen you almost fall three times now.”
“Maybe if you stopped looking at me like a creep, you wouldn’t have to see me ‘almost fall.”
“I wasn’t—"
You grounded your teeth, “Just go back to surfing.”
Rafe let out a dry laugh, shaking his head as if you were the one acting crazy. “Yeah, 'cause you look perfectly stable right now.”
He'd always been a master of the passive-aggressive half-sneer, the art of making you feel like everyone else was imposing on his day, no matter the situation.
“Don’t act like you care.” you snapped, voice carrying over the sand, earning a few glances from nearby kids.
He ran a hand over his face, looking around as if he didn’t want to be there any more than you did, mouth pressed into a tight line. You wanted to scream that this was his fault too, that every choice he’d made led to you standing here alone, exhausted, and terrified.
“Water would help, y’know”, his tone just shy of patronizing “You can’t go around dehydrating yourself just to make a point.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Your fingers twitched with the urge to send him stumbling to the other side of the beach, you knew that any sudden movement would make you light-headed again, and the last thing you wanted was to give him more proof of your weakness.
The kid—still standing there, eyes wide and darting between you both—looked like he was watching a reality TV show when Kiara appeared at your side.
“Let’s not do this here,” she begged under her breath, handing you a bottle of water she’d brought over, a kindness you didn’t want but couldn’t reject. “Just sit down for a second, please?”
JJ followed, always with that air of easygoing nonchalance, but his eyes were serious as he glanced from you to Rafe.
“She’s right. Just take a second, yeah?” He looked over at Rafe, “Maybe you should leave,” he said pointedly.
“Maybe you should mind your fuckin’ business Maybank.”
“Look, uh,” the kid stammered, knowing he could get caught in the crossfire. “I’ll… I’ll go see if anyone needs help further down the beach…”
You waved him off, your focus still locked on Rafe as the kid all but bolted away, you didn’t want anyone to think they had to “rescue” you.
You tried to take a step back, but the little strength you had in you disappeared as you felt your knees wobble.
"Jesus," you heard him groan, and then his hands were on your arms, board on the sand, holding you as you stumbled. "I told you to sit down."
You shook his hands off, "Don’t tell me what to do.”
It was hard to believe the two of you had once burned hotter than any bonfire, two people who got under each other’s skin, in love, and in hate.
He let out an exasperated sigh while you took a sip from the water Kiara handed you, ignoring how your hands were still shaking around the bottle.
She spoke again, trying to be the voice of reason, "We’re here to help the community, remember?"
JJ smirked, "Yeah, think the sea turtles are rooting for y’all to work out your issues somewhere else.”
You ignored his joke, keeping your eyes on Rafe, your pride and stubbornness refusing to let him win, “I’m fine.”
“Yeah?”
He looked you over, his gaze fixed to your warm cheeks and the dewy sheen across your temple, “You look real fine, don’t you?” He didn’t even try to cloak his sarcasm.
God, he could be so exasperating.
He couldn’t understand. How could he even think he could look at you now and know anything about who you were? Standing there, with that stupid board and that look, like he couldn’t imagine anything bothering him as much as this seemed to be bothering you.
As if he hadn’t already ruined you in so many ways that felt impossible to get over.
“Don’t you have something better to do?”
“Oh, believe me, I do,” he drawled, his eyes trailing from the waves back to you.
You were tired of this game, of fighting him every time he showed up only to leave you feeling even emptier than before.
Your fists clenched, and you opened your mouth to hurl something back, but the dizziness hit you again. Before you could compose yourself, Rafe’s arm wrapped around your waist, strong and frustratingly secure, holding you upright with an ease that made your skin crawl.
He had seen you at your weakest, had been there at the hospital after the accident, keeping you together when you were certain you’d break.
Yet, here you were, in a sick way, back in his arms, all broken apart.
“That’s it. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“I hate to say it, but he’s right,” JJ chimed in, hand shielding his eyes from the sun.
The world alone had all kinds of alarms going off in your brain. You fought back instinctively, your hands pushing at his chest, freeing your arm.
“I told you, I’m fine.”
He let go, but he didn’t back away.
Instead, he narrowed his eyes, “You think I don’t know what fine looks like? I was there.”
He was there. And you didn’t want to be reminded of it, not in front of other people.
He meant the exhaustion and hunger pains you’d welcomed after your family was gone, embraced even, because it meant you wouldn’t have to feel anything else.
You’d wanted to disappear, and he’d been there—dragging you back, forcing you to drink water and swallow bites of food, even when you pushed him away. He’d seen you at your absolute lowest, where you didn’t care if you made it through the day.
The thought of the hospital, tests, questions, you fought it, but your vision was already blurring.
You couldn’t let him find out about the baby.
Your breathing felt tighter, each shallow breath only making the spinning worse, you could sense your body giving in to the exhaustion
“Shit,” you heard him curse, sounding distant now like he was farther away.
You felt yourself sway as if the ground was opening beneath you, there was a ringing in your ears that made his voice sound muffled but you still felt his arms catching you again, holding you upright before you fell.
Waking up in a moving vehicle was like emerging from a nightmare, except somehow, this was worse, because you were no longer at the beach.
You blinked hard, desperate to wipe the fogginess in your eyes and when it did go away, you realized who was behind the wheel.
Rafe.
Your heart pounded—your desperation to keep the baby a secret, how you almost passed out at the beach, and the fact that now he was most likely driving you to the hospital.
“What the hell are you doing?” you practically screamed, your voice hoarse from the lack of water.
He didn’t spare you a glance, “You passed out, genius. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
Your whole body went rigid. “Are you insane?”
“Me?” He scoffed, as he kept his focus on the road. “You practically ate sand back there. You’re not fine.”
“Turn the car around. I’ll call my driver and be fine.” You huffed like he was too dumb to understand. “I don’t need your help.”
He let out a dry laugh, still not looking at you.
“Yeah. You’re out of your mind if you think I’m letting you out of this car right now.”
“Rafe, I’m not kidding,” you warned, louder this time. “Stop. The. Car.”
He gave you a sideways glance, his grip on the wheel tightening.
“Not happening.”
Your heart hammered as you realized he wasn’t going to back down, you were driven by sheer desperation.
“Fine, then I’ll do it myself." you muttered, reaching for the door handle.
Anything to get out of this suffocating car before he dragged you all the way to the ER and they found out you were pregnant—with his baby, no less.
His eyes widened, finally snapping from the road to your hand on the handle.
“Are you crazy? Get your hand off that, I’m fuckin' serious.”
You yanked at it anyway, twisting the handle and pulling with spiteful defiance, and Rafe’s expression went from annoyed to full-on rage. He swerved the car to the side of the road, tires skidding as he slammed the brakes and practically threw the car into park.
Before he could even stop fully, you flung the door open and stumbled out, sandals sinking into the gravel as you stalked away.
You didn’t get more than a few feet, he was already bolting after you.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you muttered, digging your nails into your palms.
How the hell had it come to this? You were stuck here, pregnant with his child, and he played the reluctant hero like you needed him swooping in to save you.
Rafe reached you in two strides, his fingers were digging into his forehead, pointing at it with exasperation imprinted into every corner of his face.
“Are you out of your fuckin' mind?” He sounded like he was talking to some unruly child.
And the worst part? You could see that frustration in his eyes, the same look he used to give you when he’d reached his limit with you.
You wondered if he ever got to that point with Sofia.
What would he do if she was the one almost fainting? Would he still look like she was some colossal burden, or would he soften, maybe even smile as he fussed over her, acting like he wanted to help?
You hated yourself for caring at all.
Sofia—the one who looked like she'd been ripped off from some perfect postcard, all wide-eyed sweetness and gentle smiles. She probably never challenged him, snapped back, or made him want to pull his hair out.
There was no way he’d look at her like she was a mess, someone he just had to “deal with.” He likely saw her as easy, perfect, all soft and sweet words, everything you weren’t.
This wasn’t who you wanted to be, and yet here you were, stumbling around half-dead and pregnant with his child.
“I’m sorry, am I bothering you?” You spat the words, watching his jaw clench tighter.
He exhaled sharply, rolling his eyes.
“Unbelievable. Only you could take me trying to help and turn it into this.”
You were done. You were done with the memories, with the torment of seeing him be something better for someone else.
“Help?” You laughed bitterly, the anger engulfing you so hard it felt as if it choking you. “You think this is help? That I need you, of all people?”
He took a step back, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I'm trying to help."
You hated how calm he was, how rational he sounded.
It was maddening when all you wanted was for him to get angry, to let that icy surface crack, to give you even a glimpse of something real, something that wasn’t just irritation or sarcasm.
You wanted proof that he still was affected by you, that this was the same guy who used to be everything, who’d promised you everything.
But you swallowed it down, straightening up, because there was no way in hell, you’d let him see even a hint of weakness.
“Trust me,” you shot back, “I’ll be just fine without you.”
He raised an eyebrow, a bitter smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “Get in the car.”
“No,” you said, firm and unyielding, every inch of you screaming that you wouldn’t let him decide anything for you ever again.
“Fine. Have it your way.”
In one swift move, he reached out, his hands gripping your arms with enough pressure to pull you forward, lifting you clean off your feet. Your breath caught in a furious gasp as he practically dragged you back to the car, his fingers warm against your skin, like you were just a mild convenience.
“Put me down!”
You struggled against his hold, jabbing at his chest with what little strength you could muster, but he didn’t even flinch, didn’t so much as hesitate.
“Rafe, I swear—”
He opened the passenger door with one hand, keeping a firm grip on you with the other, before finally setting you down—not gently—onto the seat. Without meaning to, tears began falling as you struggled against his hands. You could feel them wetting your cheeks, your voice was breaking, jumping to distress as you tried to twist out of his hold, feeling so small under his unrelenting strength.
He almost knelt in front of you, reaching for the seat belt with one hand, while his other remained firmly on your shoulder, holding you still. You felt trapped, impresioned as you tried to turn in every direction, hands weakly pushing him back, but he caught them effortlessly.
“Stop!” you meekly choked out, failing to shove him, the words coming out shameful.
You could feel your heart breaking all over again.
You hated that he was seeing you like this, how he dared to act like you needed him—it made your skin crawl. You hated that he could do this, like he had any right like you’d ever wanted him involved in this part of your life, let alone now.
This was a version of you only Rafe could bring out.
You glared up at him, practically shaking with rage as Rafe ignored your protests like you were nothing more than a child throwing a fit.
“Get your hands off me.”
His jaw tightened, ignoring the flailing punches and slaps grazing him, and you couldn’t stop the sob that escaped, loud and ugly.
“I’m not letting you kill yourself out of spite.”
Your chest hurt like you’d been run over a hundred times—it felt suffocating. “I hate you.”
For the first time, you thought he might actually leave you here.
His fingers stopped as if your words had made an impact, his lips pressed into a thin line. Your vision blurred as he leaned in, his touch hovering as if to wipe away the tear running down your cheek, but he didn’t, instead, he closed his hand into a fist and drew back, his face just inches from yours.
A faint, humorless smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he clicked the seatbelt into place. He made a low humming noise, that thing he did when he was getting ready to make someone feel two inches tall.
"Yeah? Get in line."
Without another word, he pulled back, slamming the door shut, and walking around to the driver’s side.
You wiped at your cheeks, furious that he’d seen you like this, that he had the power to break you down. It was humiliating, sitting here in his car, every part of your body screaming to escape.
He got in, started the engine, neither of you spoke.
Rafe drove fast, every rev of the engine matching the churning in your stomach perfectly. You sat there, trembling, the dread building with every mile that passed. You gripped the seatbelt so hard it felt like your entire body might go numb, and stared straight ahead, breathing shallow, trying to ignore the sting in your eyes.
You bit back another wave of nausea. Weakness.
You’d already shown him too much.
You didn’t need a lecture from some doctor on how you “should’ve taken better care of yourself", let alone with Rafe there, watching, scrutinizing, acting like this was his business when he’d made it clear long ago that it wasn’t. He was in your space in the worst way, reopening all the wounds.
You were seething. He had no right to do this.
The thought made you want to drop dead—doctor would walk in, casually drop the news about the baby, and you'd be left watching his reaction in real time.
You looked at the entrance to the ER. The vision of anyone running tests, of some well-meaning nurse, coming in and spilling everything about the baby in front of him—no way. You wouldn’t let that happen.
He wasted no time getting out, moving around to your side, while you sat rigidly, staring straight ahead. His hand was already on the door, yanking it open, looking down at you like he was ready to drag you inside if he had to.
You weren’t moving. You knew the second you stepped inside, it would be over.
“C’mon,” Rafe pressed, his hand outstretched, hovering there like he thought he could compel you to listen. “Stop being so stubborn.”
You crossed your arms over your stomach, refusing to meet his eyes.
“I’m not going in.”
Rafe let out a sigh, nearing his limit, and knelt down to your level.
“Look, you passed out. I’m not leaving until you get checked out.”
“You’re gonna be here for a while then.”
“Would you stop?” His voice softened for the first time, as if he was trying to reach some part of you that he thought still cared. “You look like you haven’t slept in days, like you haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t out of a vending machine. I know you don’t want my help, but can you just stop for a second and—”
“And what?” you interrupted.
“And think! If you don’t get in there, I’ll drag you in myself.”
Your heart raced, “You wouldn’t dare.”
Rafe stepped closer; his jaw set in determination. “Try me.”
“You’re not coming in."
He blinked like the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. “What?”
Maybe he was seeing the protection you’d built up around yourself since he left, how there was no longer any crack left open for him to slip through.
“I don’t need you. I don’t want you in there.”
“Fine.” His tone was clipped, restrained. “But I’ll be right here.”
You slammed the door shut behind you, not letting him your legs still shaking. You’d rather collapse face-first into the concrete than give him the satisfaction of listening to him.
“Yeah, you do that,” you replied, turning and walking toward the entrance, refusing to look back.
Stepping inside, you felt a slight tremor run through you—part relief, part panic. The lights were too bright, almost white. Your heart wobbled, replaying how he’d been such a fucking asshole to you.
You’d forgotten how mean he could be, how easily he could go from angry to something so frigid it made you want to cry yourself to sleep.
“Hi there,” The receptionist greeted, her eyes moving over you with a professional once-over, “What brings you in today?”
You forced a small smile, knowing she wouldn’t buy it.
“Just…got a little dehydrated, that’s all.”
“Okay…let’s just get some basic information.” She clicked into her computer, her fingers poised over the keyboard. “Name?”
You cleared your throat, rattling off your full name, she nodded, typing it in.
“Have you experienced any other symptoms besides dizziness?”
“Nothing serious,” you replied, dismissively. “It’s just the heat, like I said. I just need some water and I’ll be good as new.”
This had to be a fucking nightmare you got sucked in, you could sense your blood pressure spike.
She tapped her screen and glanced back at you.
“Alright, Miss Thornton, it looks like we’ll just need a few quick details here to get you all checked in. Can I start with your insurance provider?”
A chuckle almost slipped out of you. Insurance—God, you were fine with insurance. What you weren’t okay with was everything else. You answered, “Blue Cross.”
She asked for your birthdate, which you gave on autopilot, hoping she’d skip any weird or invasive questions. “Any allergies?”
You shook your head. Please, just let this be over.
“It’s really not a big deal,” You blurted out, giving her a thin smile and forcing calm into your voice. “I just need the IV. You know, standard stuff.”
“Of course, dear. We’ll get things started, it will include routine tests, like bloodwork, just to be safe.”
Bloodwork. Perfect. You were doing everything you could to keep from falling into that spiraling panic mode.
Please, just get me in, get me out, and don’t find anything.
“Just head down to Room 12.”
All you could think was that you wanted this to be over—before the whole town, or worse, he, found out. It made you want to scream. He was the last person who should be outside.
This was his fault. You’d never be here if he hadn’t shown up.
The next hour passed in seconds—questions, forms, an IV drip.
They’d done blood work, too, but you’d sighed in relief when they’d told you the results wouldn’t be ready immediately. As far as they knew, you’d just overdone it, and now, as you lay on a cot in a room that reeked of sick people, all they’d prescribed was rest, hydration, and food.
When the nurse asked if anyone could pick you up, the thought of calling someone, asking them to see you like this, made you delirious. You didn’t need anyone; you were perfectly fine on your own.
But you also didn’t want Rafe and his delusional ass to barge through the doors.
The nurse moved around you awkwardly, eyes still expectant, as if you were just a button away from a reliable “someone” to come running.
You looked at her, controlling the compulsion to yell. Little people ever bothered to check on you, to show up for more than just the drama or gossip.
Out of them, only one face bounced around in your head.
“Yeah, I got someone.”
TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige @rafebb @rafesbby @whytheylosttheirminds
@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron @serrendiipty @sunny1616
@yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog @psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei
@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2
@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt
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hi its baddog ok so here is my fordbel propaganda.
on very surface level i think it could be fun for mabel to join in because she (in my head) already has an established relationship with dipper and she gets sad when she thinks dipper doesnt want her to be a part of his special things (because, while they are less codependent than stancest, they still share all the important things) and at first dippers kind of like, 'but i want a special relationship with ford, you have your special thing with stan' but then standip happens so its like fair game.
but to get like deeper into the meat of things, i think in canon ford kind of brushes mabel off because he sees himself so much in dipper, and in turn mabel as stan (derogatory) but then after weirdmageddon and fords opinion of stan improves, he also starts to appreciate mabel more because she reminds him of stan (affectionate), specifically stan as he was when they were kids. bold, charming, creative. devoted and ford just falls in love with her the way he fell in love with stan.
ford also learns about how much she contributed to the journal and is really impressed. he likes her creative approach to things and finds her to be good company on his more daring adventures/ experiments where dippers anxiety would slow them down (dont tell dipper). shes a bit of a mad scientist herself afterall (the gf short where she blows up something in a microwave) oh and i also think shes an unnoticed math wizard. shes knits so much snd does some crazy designs like on the fly, her mental math is a force to be reckoned with.
oh and ford is such a slut for praise and mabel dishes out praise like candy on summerween. he loves how much positive reinforcement she gives and ends up getting flustered by how earnest she is. this however leads to mischief as her and stan team up to tag team flirt, fluster, and tease, ford (and dipper)
well those are some of my current thoughts. i just love mabel so much and she deserves so much love i always feel bad when she gets left out of the hunkfest. hope this propaganda worked (but no pressure if it didnt, i myself prefer stanbel but liked the challenge of thinking of some cute shit)
congratulations: ur propaganda worked
THE PRAISE THING. i can just imagine mabel slapping a "good job" sticker on Ford's forehead and he's just like 🥺 oh... thank you mabel
consider: mabel becoming bill #2 and domming ford with praise (but like... she actually means it.) ford's basically a puddle and dippers like WHAT THE FUCk i couldn't get him to do that :( you always do this mabel
it's just fun. and, yeah. mabel would definitely be jealous. she doesn't want to share dipper anymore guys
and I LOVEEEEE mabel basically being a mad scientist and ford appreciating her crazy energy. because mabel IS smart. and she IS brave. and she IS a good person. hell, the only meaningful interaction between the two in the show (that i can recall) is ford telling her she's a good person.
i love mabel and ford being crazier together than ford ever was alone. like. u know they'd make each other worse....
the mabel=stan parallel is so fucking good tooo....... like. omg. they're just so cute. like idk if i'd say i ship them per se but like... i GET them now. and why ppl would like them together (platonic.) and why ppl would like them together (not platonic...)
ty for the donation kind citizen
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okay imagine her being twins with each of the boys…..
quinn and her would just be even closer
jack would be possessive of his twin not wanting to share and they would definitely make there own language
luke and stella as twins 🥺 i- would be so cute
oh my god wait I love this so much, your mind is just amazing 😔
Stella and Quinn being twins is perfect, they definitely would be even closer and she would join her twin in Vancouver !! they would live together, and they really are just each others best friends. They would honestly be very attached to the hip, not liking to be apart! They can definitely ‘read’ each other’s minds . . . they are the most comfortable with each other, and they love their nights in at the apartment!
Stella and Jack were definitely those twins that finished each others sentences, like I can see them both just being so excited that they end up cutting each other off, but neither of them care because they are so used to it!! like you said they definitely made up their own language, and they would talk in it all the time, confusing everyone! Jack is very possessive with Stella, especially with her love interests!
Luke and Stella as twins omg my heart 🥹 they are honestly so similar it’s crazy, definitely the twins that would freak you out a little from how in sync they are in everything, like the compilations of them just moving in sync or saying things at the same time would be so long!! Luke honestly always talks about her, like that’s his person for life! they don’t like being apart at all!! they always had matching things but in different colors
#𐙚 ⏜ 🎸 ⨟ 𝔀hat if 𝔀ith 𝓼tella 𝓱ughes#💌stellahughes!#꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ ⨟ toast ‹𝟹#hughes sister#hughes!sister#hughes!oc
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IM ACTUALLY IN TEARS RIGHT NOW WTH M
first of all. BADASS BUG!!! SLICE THEM BATS (i know she's heavily injured but like mmm steve, hide yo gurl from us now)
"And isn’t that all that love is? To love without expectations, without hesitancy. Love is the inability to separate your breath from the person’s lungs; you took all the air out of Steve’s chest the moment you smiled at him. " This specific part? literally killed me. i can never get over how these two are so in love with each other so wholeheartedly.
EDDIE AND BUG!! YES!! BE FRIENDS!!!! how long have i waited for this moment omg
and when bug was yelling for others?? screaming for the person she needs most and yells steve's name?? light me on fire at this point.
AND VECNA I HATE U SO GODDAMN MUCH WHAT IN THE ACTUAL UPSIDE DOWN DIDDLY DOWN DOWN. I hate how vecna knows just what to show bug to make her break down. and now she's blaming herself ;; AND SHE'S FLOATING. oh my god i wonder how everyone is reacting :(( im mostly worried for steve, dustin, max and lucas bc oh gworl...
ANYWAY WHEW THANKS FOR MAKING THIS DELICIOUS CHAPTER!! tears were shed but them tears were worth it
episode seven: the massacre at hawkins lab
Steve coughs, swatting at the particles in the air. “Just inhaled a bunch of that crap.” “I’ve been trying not to think about how much of the Upside Down we’ve ingested since being here.” “It’s stuck in my throat, Y/N.” “Again, I’m trying not to think about that.
Summary: bats are really fucking annoying to fight, you always somehow end up critically injured, nancy carries the group on her back as always, eddie gives steve relationship advice (embarassing, tbh), interdimensional bike riding is lowkey fun, and you take a trip down memory lane.
Rating: general, some swearing, violence
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, cursing, blood and gore, critical injuries, mentions of fainting, mentions of death and violence, description of corpses
Words: 11.9k
Before you swing in: ive never been more excited to write a chapter tbh. this episode touches on so many things ive been building up for seasons now !!!! insane !!! im so so so excited to see how yall react. this chapter has my favorite sequence of scenes yet ;) enjoy !
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His name rips from your mouth. “Steve!”
The bats sink their fangs into his stomach. His legs kick out, he gasps for breath, choking on his pain. Your legs threaten to give out as you stumble towards Steve. Quickly your fingers find the knives you always carry with you just as a bat lunges towards you.
Barely having time to dodge its quick attack, you swat at the creature, but your knives slide off its skin easily. Your heart drops; their flesh is too thick to cut through. The bat screeches at you, its teeth bared, and you throw your body weight against it onto the ground. Angling your knife, you pierce the inside of its mouth, killing it.
“Shit!” Another bat crawls towards you. Your elbow scrapes the ground as you roll out of its path, slicing into the creature’s maw.
Steve screams again, this time even louder as even more bats surround him. Frantic, you jump to your feet. Without thinking, you grab the tail of one of the bats, its face buried in Steve’s stomach. When you start to pull, Steve shakes his head violently and throws his arm out at you. “Go!”
You don’t bother answering; you’re not leaving him.
The bat’s tail cuts your palms as you pry it off of Steve’s flesh, but as soon as it’s removed, it latches onto your upper thigh. “Fuck!”
Razor sharp pain shoots through your entire body. The bat loosens its jaw to only tighten it more; you can feel its teeth hit your bone. Screaming, the white-hot pain blinds you. Your knees give out and you fall before you can catch yourself.
“Y/N!” Steve chokes out, desperate. He clenches his jaw, tries to get up. More bats screech overhead, circling you, and Steve knows you only have seconds before you’re dead. But the vines around his neck constrict even more. His airway closes, another bat takes the other one’s place on his stomach.
“Motherfucker!” You stab at the bat, but then a second one slams against your body and your shoulder explodes with pain. “Fuck-no,” you try to twist around, to use the last of your strength to remove it from your own skin, but it’s no use. The bats tear at your skin, ripping through muscle and ligaments.
Lightning flashes, its light red mars the endless dark blue sky. Above you, a bat screeches, signaling its descent, before it dives towards you at full speed. Your eyes close, you hope death will be quick.
“Get fucked!” Someone screams, a sickening thud following. Opening your eyes, you see the creature’s body get thrown into the air. Eddie stands above you, smiling wickedly, but as soon as he sees the two other bats gnawing on you, he brings his oar over his head and swings.
You look away, scared he’ll miss, and see Nancy and Robin a few feet away. Nancy holds the other oar, working with Robin to kill the swarm of bats that encase Steve’s body. Seeing them makes you want to cry in sweet relief.
The sound of the bats’ pained cries echo in your ears. It takes several attempts before Eddie manages to get them off of you. The bat’s teeth cut deeply with every attack, causing you to cry out in pain. It’s fucking agonizing. Warm blood follows a sickening tearing sensation in your leg.
When Eddie has killed both bats, he helps you stand up. “Jesus, you alright?”
“Talk later,” you grunt, already rushing to go help Nancy and Robin. “Fight now.”
Eddie doesn’t stop you. He swings his oar again and Robin begs you to help. She has a bat pinned down while Nancy pounds her oar into its face, but it won’t fucking die. Its tail has wrapped itself around Steve’s neck and he’s paler than you’ve ever seen him.
But before you can gut the piece of shit creature, another bat pounces on Nancy. Its claws tear her skin and she yelps. You scream her name and catch her before she falls. “I got you.”
Nancy’s hands clutch your body as you stab the bat. “Get it off me!”
“I’m trying!” The bat won’t let go, screeching with every pull. Biting down, you ignore the searing pain as your palms get cut up even more. Robin tries to help, but you scream at her. “No! Help Steve!”
She nods quickly and it’s a mess of fighting and screeches and blood. Steve bites down on the bat’s tail, its jaw opens as it squeals, giving him just enough time to escape. As he rolls to the side, Robin throws the bat’s body onto the ground.
Seeing Steve safe reinvigorates you, and with one final scream, you use everything within you to pull the bat off of Nancy’s back. It releases her skin with a squelching pop. You force your knife down its throat and pin the creature to the ground. It writhes beneath you. “Now, Nancy!”
She doesn’t hesitate. “Go to hell!” Her oar slams down, killing it.
Behind you Eddie kills the remaining few bats that circle overhead. Steve stands next to you, slamming the final bat into the ground. The body lands with a loud smack against the concrete and Steve rips the carcass in half.
Blood drips from his mouth and he messily spits it away. He’s panting, his stomach is on fire, he’s stuck in some alternate dimension with no way out, but all he can focus on is you.
Flesh hangs from your shoulder, leaving behind a gaping wound of exposed muscle. Your thigh is torn clean through. There’s blood everywhere. The white of your tanktop is now soaked in red. But you’re here, you’re alive. He hasn’t lost you. Not yet, at least.
“Y/N–” Steve practically falls against you, and you’re no better yourself. You’re crying, snot runs down your face as you grab desperately at him. His hands are all over you as he tries to stop the bleeding, but there’s so much blood.
“I-I’m here.” Your hands are all over Steve’s body, too. They cup his waist, there are so many bite marks on him, but at least his flesh is warm under your skin. He’s still here, he’s still yours, and now all you want to do is calm him down. Steve is panicking, holding you as if he’s afraid you’ll die in his arms any second, and the fear on his face makes your chest ache.
“Are you guys okay?” Nancy asks, tentatively touching your shoulder. A wince slips from her lips when she sees the flesh that is no longer there. “Jesus, Y/N.”
Steve wraps his hands around your thigh, it’s bleeding the most and you can barely put any weight on it. “I’m fine, but they took a fucking pound of flesh from her.”
“You’re no better,” you’ve placed your own hands over his stomach, his blood warm against your fingers. “I think you lost your appendix.”
Steve laughs, but almost immediately his laugh turns into a groan. “God, don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”
You apologize, kissing his shoulder. Light catches your attention and you see Robin crouched down next to one of the bat carcasses. She looks up at everyone. “Uh, do you guys think these bats have, like, rabies?”
“Robin, if we have rabies, please promise me you’ll shoot me.” You tell her, dead serious. Rabies has always terrified you. When you were younger, a rabid fox made its way onto your grandparents' farm. It had killed all the chickens, attacked the herding dog they had, and you remember how distraught your father had been when he had to kill both the fox and the hound.
“I’m sure you and Steve don’t have rabies.” Nancy says, sensing your growing fear. But before she can say anything else a small group of bats descend from the sky.
Steve pushes you behind him. They land near the gate you fell through, screeching at the five of you. They’re a small enough group, Steve voices what you’re all thinking: you can handle them. Flicking your knives out, you prepare for what’s about to come.
Until a swarm grows larger in the distance. There’s easily hundreds of them, they cast a shadow below where they fly. There’s too many to fight.
“You were saying?” Robin breathes out, eyes never leaving the sky.
Steve is speechless, he doesn’t know what to do. His hand tightens around you, protective, but thankfully Nancy has a plan. She tells everyone to run towards the woods and none of you hesitate to follow. Steve swings your legs over his arms, picking you up with ease despite the bite wounds that litter his skin. Like hell he’s letting you run right now; you’re too torn up, you can hardly even walk.
As Steve runs with you in his arms, he’s careful to avoid the vines that creep over the ground. It’s a dizzying rush. All you can do is hold tightly onto him, trusting that Nancy knows where she’s taking you.
Deep into the woods, Nancy calls over her shoulder, “Over here!”
Lifting your head from Steve’s chest, you realize, as you always do, that Nancy Wheeler is a goddamn genius. She’s taken you all to Skull Rock.
The giant boulders form a small alcove, just big enough to hide under as the bats fly overhead. She instructs everyone to crawl under and Steve sets you down gently, positioning you so that you’re sitting with your back against the rock. As soon as you’re secure, Steve’s hand goes back to your thigh.
The sound of the bats is almost deafening. No one dares to speak. They fly over at such a gruesome speed, their screeches echoing off the trees. You lose count of how many there are. All you can do is wait for the last of them to leave.
More lightning strikes above. It shakes the ground, the sound reverberates in your skull. You can’t believe you’re here. You’re in the Upside Down. The place you’ve only ever spoken about, the entity that haunted your nightmares and took the ones you loved from you.
It’s so much colder than you imagined it to be. Everything is darker, more twisted. The dimension is exactly as Will once described to you: this is Hawkins, it’s your home, but different. Colder, scarier. These woods are the woods you walked through, the woods where you fell in love, and yet the trees loom over you in a threatening way. Their branches form spikes, the dirt recoils against your feet.
Nothing here feels warm. The darkness is never ending.
This is where Will was, all by himself, for a week.
He had only been twelve.
When the nightmare swarm of bats is finally over, Robin carefully pokes her head out from the alcove. “Okay, that was close.”
Eddie agrees, kicking at a rock. Steve offers you his hand to stand, but the moment your skin touches his, you feel sick. All the adrenaline from earlier leaves you. All the blood you’ve lost catches up, leaving your body weak. Stumbling, your vision tunnels and your eyes roll back.
“Woah, hey.” Steve breaks your fall, snapping his fingers in your face to bring your attention back to him. He’s weak as well, he has to lean heavily against the rock to steady himself. “Y/N-shit!”
“Steve?” Nancy turns around, finding you and him moments away from collapsing. She curses, rushing over. When she sees all the blood that still pours from your thigh, she gags. “Oh, fuck.”
“Keep… keep talking. Please.” Your breathing is labored, you can hardly form any words. “Keep talking to me. If-if I faint… embarrassing.”
“I think she’s losing it.” Eddie whispers rather loudly to Robin.
Nancy grazes Steve’s chest, silently asking him to move your body aside. She wants to get a closer look at his wounds as well, she can’t help you if he’s bleeding out himself, but he refuses. “No, no we need to help Y/N.”
“Steve, you’re also losing blood–”
“I don’t care.” Steve pulls you even closer to his chest, he needs to feel your rib cage rising and falling. He needs to feel you breathe. “Help her, Nancy.”
His outburst startles Nancy. She takes a step back, alarmed, but clenches her jaw. There’s no getting through to Steve; she knows she’s lost the fight. “At least sit her down.”
Steve collapses, sliding back against the rock with you tucked to his chest. With shaking hands, he forces you to sit next to him. You wince with every movement, it’s getting harder and harder to stay awake.
“Stay with me, angel.” Steve murmurs to you, motioning to Nancy to look down at your thigh. The wound is bleeding the most, the teeth sunk in the deepest.
“Don’t wanna faint,” your head sags to the side, exhausted. “So embarrassing.”
Nancy places her hands unsurely to your thigh. The blood squelches, soaking through your jeans. She exhales shakily. “You’re not-you’re not going to faint, okay? Just keep talking, Y/N.”
“Hate bats.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind, but it seems to settle Nancy’s unease and Steve’s worry. “Little fuckers hurt.”
Nancy tears the end of her shirt, her nimble fingers gently lift your injured leg. She ties the piece of fabric tight around your thigh, quelling the bleeding. Steve helps with the knot, though really he just needs something to do.
“If you want some good news, I’m pretty sure wooziness is not a symptom of rabies.” Robin crouches next to you, smiling despite how terrified she is. “So that’s something, right?”
You yelp when Nancy tightens the tourniquet. Biting your tongue, you force a smile to Robin. “Hooray.”
“There,” Nancy wipes her hands of your blood. The tourniquet isn’t much, but already the bleeding has subsided. “But I think you’re going to need stitches.”
“I’m tired of hospitals,” you whine, but you’re already feeling a bit better. You’re weak, sure, but at least your body isn’t slowly draining itself out. “Thanks, though.”
Nancy nods, smiling softly, before her eyes land on Steve’s stomach. “Can I finally patch you up?”
Steve doesn’t even look at her, instead cups your face. Even though you’re covered in blood and sweat and tears, even though your cheek is scabbed and your lip is split, he doesn’t think he’s ever found you more beautiful. “You alright?”
“Been better,” you admit, squeezing his arm. “But let’s worry about you now.” Turning to Nancy, you extend your arm. “Got any more torn pieces of clothing?”
She bites her lip. The only thing covering your body is your tank top. She’s seen the cuts all over your palms. She doesn’t think you’ll be able to wrap the cloth around Steve, if she’s being honest. But she also knows Steve and how fiercely he loves you. He won’t let anyone near him but you.
Finally, she sighs. Tearing off more of her shirt, she hands it to you. “Yeah, here.”
You thank Nancy again, and she gives you a curt nod before backing away, giving you and Steve some space. Once she’s gone, you tend to Steve’s injuries. When he moves his hand away and reveals raised, angry flesh, you inhale sharply. “Steve…”
“Just a flesh wound.” He jokes, but you can hear the pain in his voice.
Though you’re still dizzy and weak, you manage to lift Steve’s body enough to wrap the makeshift bandage around him. Luckily he isn’t bleeding as badly as you are, but the sight of him injured still leaves you nauseous.
Tying the fabric around his torso, you’re careful not to hurt him any more. The moment is familiar, reminiscent of the years before. Back in the junkyard when a Demodog nearly tore open your rib cage, Steve had been the one to take care of you. He had so carefully wrapped your cardigan around your chest, been so delicate with you, and now it’s your turn to do the same for him.
“We always end up here, don’t we?” You say softly, it still takes a lot of energy for you to speak. You finish tying a knot to secure the bandage and Steve looks at you oddly. He doesn’t understand, and you shrug. “You and me, patching each other’s wounds up.”
Steve’s eyes soften. It doesn’t matter where he could be, in what situation he could be stuck in, you always somehow remind him of how loved he is. “Kinda wish the bats had eaten my ribs instead. We could’ve had matching scars.”
You laugh, eyes shining with tears. Fresh pain explodes all over your body, but you laugh anyways. You don’t know why you’re laughing or why tears run down your face. The exhaustion and pain from today must finally be catching up to you. “How romantic.”
Steve laughs as well, the pain of it bearable when he hears your laughter mixing with his. “I love you, angel.”
“I love you, too, honey.” It’s so cold in the Upside Down, but the warmth of Steve’s love feels like sunshine kissing your skin.
Robin clears her throat. “Uh, not to ruin this cute moment, but I just wanted to say that if either of you start feeling aggressive, please let me know. Because, ya know. The threat of rabies still.”
“I kinda wanna punch you.” Steve looks at her pointedly, annoyed.
You poke his cheek and smile apologetically at Robin. “He didn’t mean that.”
“Sense of humor is still intact, that’s a good sign!” She cheers, then, as an afterthought, she takes off her flannel and hands it to you. “Also, figured you’d want this. Not that you aren’t totally hot right now in only a tiny tank top and blood all over you, it’s just freakishly cold down here and you technically have an exposed wound on your shoulder and who knows what sorts of awful flesh eating diseases there are here.”
You accept the flannel gratefully and thank her. Then, together, you and Steve stand up. The process is difficult, you only have one functional top and bottom, and you walk in a slow manner together as you lean against the other.
Up ahead, Eddie is standing on one of the boulders, staring out into the vast dimension. “So, uh. This place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?”
“Basically.” You respond, grunting as you support Steve’s upper body.
Eddie nods, defeated, and before he can step down, Nancy tells him to be careful of the vines. “It’s all a hive mind.”
When Eddie doesn’t understand, Steve tries to explain it to him. “All the creepy crawlies here, dude. They’re like, one or something.”
“They’re all interconnected. They can feel each other’s pain, feelings, whatever.” You say, remembering how Jonathan had described Will’s agonizing screams when the vines had been burned in the tunnels.
“Step on a vine, you’re stepping on a bat, you’re stepping on Vecna.” Steve finishes grimly.
Eddie smiles sarcastically, obviously displeased with this information, but he’s careful not to step on any vines on his way down.
“But everything from our world is still here, right? Except people?” Robin asks.
You nod. “According to Will, yeah.”
This pleases Robin, and she starts explaining her plan. If everything's the same in the Upside Down, then you should be able to use the guns stored away at Hawkins’ police station. With the ammunition stored there, it’d be more than enough to kill the bats that guard the gate back to Hawkins.
“I highly doubt the Hawkins PD has grenades, Robin.” Steve says skeptically. “But guns? Sure.”
You shake your head. While Robin’s idea is good, there’s still the issue of going all the way downtown from Skull Rock. The five of you barely made it half a mile without getting killed. There’s no way you’d survive three. “But the police station is downtown. That’s too far from here.”
Robin deflates, but Nancy furrows her brows. After thinking for a moment, her eyes light up. “We don’t have to go all the way downtown. I have guns. In my bedroom.”
God you love her.
Eddie scoffs in disbelief. “You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns… plural? In your bedroom?”
“Full of surprises, isn’t she?” Robin says with pride.
“And this is why we always listen to her.” You sing along, high fiving Robin.
Nancy doesn’t acknowledge you or Robin, but her cheeks flush with slight embarrassment. “A Russian Makarov and a revolver.”
“Yeah, you almost shot me with that one.” Steve reminds her, though his tone is gentle, almost teasing.
You laugh, remembering how terrified he had been when Nancy pointed the gun at him. You all had been so much younger, more naive. All he wanted to do was apologize to Jonathan for their fight earlier. Steve had just wanted to make things right, and that’s why you stepped in front of him that night. “Luckily for you, I was there to save your life.”
Steve looks down at you fondly. He pulls you close, his eyes are full of so much love. He remembers everything. The night that started it all. “And then I saved yours.”
To think that a sprained ankle and a bat full of nails would lead you to here: Steve’s warm chest against you, so full of love.
Lost in your warm memories, neither you nor Steve see Eddie throwing his vest at Steve’s face until it’s too late. The material smacks against him, cruelly bringing the two of you back to reality.
“What the fuck, Eddie?” You sneer at him, deeply annoyed.
He waves at you flirtatiously, a devilish glint in his eyes. “I’m protecting your boyfriend’s modesty for you.”
Before you can retaliate, the ground beneath you starts to shake. The force of it is so sudden, so strong, that it sends you and everyone else falling. Steve catches himself on a rock, holding you tightly to his chest, and you manage to catch Nancy before she falls as well. Eddie grabs onto Robin, stuck on the ground together.
The tremors are violent. There’s a cracking sound, branches fall behind you as the earthquake destroys whatever it can. Steve holds you through it, he whispers reassurances to try and calm you. When it’s over everything is quiet for a moment, before a loud, heart stopping shriek cuts into the night.
It doesn’t sound like any creature you’ve faced before. Far too loud to be a Demodog’s, far too large to be a bat’s. The thought of what it could be almost paralyzes you; it could’ve been the Mind Flayer.
“Guns seem like a pretty good idea to me.” Eddie finally says, panting.
Robin quickly agrees, and you swallow down the bile that rises in your throat. “Yeah, okay. I can be okay with guns.”
“So what are we waiting for?” Steve puts Eddie’s vest on, twirling a flashlight in his hand. He nods to himself, tries to convince himself that he’s as confident as he sounds. He extends his other arm towards you, helping you steady your balance. “Let’s go.”
And you follow.
–
It’s a long walk from Skull Rock to Nancy’s house; it’s an even longer walk when you’re in the Upside Down, hiding from demonic bats. With every branch that snaps beneath someone’s foot, you all jump. The croak of whatever creature nearby sets everyone on edge.
“Couldn’t we have tried a road or something just slightly less creepy?” Robin complains, jumping over a vine.
Leaning against Steve, you groan. “Anything would be less creepy than this.”
“I think we’re getting close,” Nancy tries to sound convincing, but even she’s uneasy. “We’re almost out of here. Don’t worry.”
Robin nods at the reassurance, but you can’t help but wonder what could possibly come next after you find Nancy’s guns. It’d be two guns, two critically injured members of the group, two oars, and one switchblade against an army of bats.
Not the best odds.
Nancy and Robin wander further ahead, leaving you behind with Steve and Eddie. None of you talk, more so because you’re putting all your energy into not falling on your face and Steve is busy helping you stay upright.
Walking is difficult and painful and you’re so frustrated by it all, especially after you trip over your fourth tree root. If it weren’t for Steve’s quick reflexes, you’d be long dead by now.
Eddie must recognize this, too.
“Here, let me just–” He comes next to you and throws your arm over his shoulders before either you or Steve can protest. Immediately the pressure on your injured leg lessens. You sigh in content, and Eddie smirks. “There ya go, princess.”
“Don’t call her that.” Steve snaps, but even he has to admit that Eddie’s help is needed. With him carrying half your weight, Steve is able to breathe a little easier. You’re better balanced this way. He’s no longer straining his injuries to support you.
Eddie winces. “I’m sorry, just… trying to lighten the mood, I guess.”
Steve doesn’t say anything, but the silence stretches on and you feel bad for Eddie. He really is trying. Despite the fact that he’s Hawkins’ most wanted, he still tries to make everyone else laugh. He has to know that he’s never getting out of this alive, and you admire the strength it must take to continue laughing anyways.
So you try to for him as well. “Thank you, by the way. You saved our lives back there.”
Eddie looks at you funny, he hadn’t expected you to acknowledge it. “Shit, Steve saved his own ass, man.”
“That’s true,” you laugh. By the time the fight finished, Steve had somehow managed to fight his way out by himself. “It was impressive.”
“No it wasn’t.”
Eddie scoffs at Steve’s dismissal. “Please, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there.”
“Ozzy?” Steve looks at you, silently asking for some type of explanation, but you shrug.
“All I know is that he’s in Black Sabbath.” Jonathan occasionally listened to the band whenever he was particularly angry, but not enough for you to understand Eddie’s obscure reference.
Eddie makes a surprised, but pleased, sound. “Honestly surprised you even know Black Sabbath, but c’mon. Ozzy Osbourne, he bit a bat’s head off onstage. You seriously haven’t heard about that?”
You and Steve stare at him blankly, and he sighs. “Well, it was very metal. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
Steve scoffs again, but deep down you know he’s preening. It’s not everyday someone commends his strength or recognizes how well he can hold his own. Steve has come a long way since his first fight with Jonathan back at the alley.
“I think I finally get why my brother likes you so much,” you tell Eddie, looking up at him curiously. “You know a lot of weird facts. He goes crazy for them.”
That, and you’re finding that Eddie isn’t so bad when he isn’t surrounded by his goonies. He’s actually… decent when he isn’t putting on a show for everyone. It’s almost reminiscent of how Steve had once been, back when he was the King.
But if you ever pointed out that similarity to the boys, you know they’d be deeply offended.
The corners of Eddie’s mouth tilt up. “Yeah, well. The kid adores you and practically worships Steve.”
“He does?” Steve almost sounds bashful at the idea of Dustin worshiping him. It makes your heart constrict. You both miss your brother terribly.
Eddie nods. “Oh yeah, it’s kinda annoying, to be honest. Especially when all he talks about is Y/N. If he isn’t talking about you, he’s talking about her.”
“I doubt that’s true,” you shake your head. “He doesn’t need me anymore, he’s practically counting down the days until I leave.”
“Nah, man. Dustin tells me all the time how much he’ll miss you when you leave.” Eddie tells you, voice firm. “Kid always talks about how much you look out for him, that he doesn’t know what he’ll do when you’re gone. In a way, it’s annoyingly endearing. He frets over you just as much as you fret over him. I can see the Henderson charm in him that made you Hawkins’ sweetheart.”
Everything that Eddie tells you leaves your throat sticky with tears. You didn’t know, you couldn’t know all Dustin said about you. For the longest time you thought he’d grown to hate you, to resent you the way kids often do with their family. You would’ve never blamed him; sometimes people just grow up, grow apart, but here Eddie is, telling you that your brother will miss you when you’re gone.
Unable to say anything in fear that you’ll cry, the only response you give Eddie is a curt, short nod.
Steve rubs your side tenderly, understanding all you’re unable to say. Eddie feels the touch against his own side and he clears his throat. He knows you want him to change the subject. “Admittedly, I got a little jealous. Hearing the little shrimp talk about you as if you hung the goddamn stars yourself.”
The irony of it all crashes upon you. While you had been jealous of Eddie, he had been jealous of you. The two of you spent months quarreling over Dustin, you’d been uncharacteristically mean to Eddie, and yet the entire time you envied the other.
Abandonment can make people cruel.
“I was jealous of you, too.” You finally reveal to Eddie, meeting his eyes for the first time tonight.
Eddie stares back at you, his expression softens with understanding. He seems to have pieced together what you have: your anger had never been cruel, only defensive. Protective of your brother the way only a sister would in fear of losing him.
“Guess that makes us both idiots, huh?” Eddie teases gently, accepting the offering of truce that you present to him.
You laugh, looking away. The moment of truce is nice, pleasant almost, until the beat of silence becomes too unbearable for you. You’ve revealed enough of yourself tonight. Awkwardly clearing your throat, you lift your arm from Eddie’s shoulder and pull away. “Robin is probably missing me right now. She hates the dark, these woods are her worst nightmare.”
Steve catches your arm before you leave. You’re still unsteady on your feet, but he understands what you’re trying to do. He’s come to learn that you shut away when you’re vulnerable. While you wear your heart on your sleeve, Steve knows that it can be exhausting for you.
“Need me to call her over?” He asks you quietly.
“No, I can manage.” You kiss Steve’s cheek, thanking him without having to say it. Eddie smiles at you as you leave, tight lipped, but kind nonetheless.
The two teens watch you slowly make your way over to Robin, who happily welcomes your presence. She wraps her arms around you and holds you tightly, giggling slightly, before holding you close and helping you walk.
“I’ll bring her back in one piece!” Robin calls to Steve, giggling under her breath. Steve waves his hand sarcastically, but doesn’t argue. Turning to you, Robin’s face shines in the blue moonlight. “You here to save me from this totally creepy, absolutely horrid woods?”
“Duh,” your laughter reflects hers. “I’m your knight in shining armor, babe.”
Robin squeezes your hand, resting her head against yours as you walk together. It’s been a long time since you’ve held each other like this. The realization makes you guilty. “How’ve you been holding up?”
Robin shrugs, the motion jostles your head, but you don’t mind. “We’re in the Upside Down, some guy named Vecna wants you and Max dead, and you refuse to admit that you’re scared.”
You bite your lip. Robin is just as worried for you as Steve is, she’s just hidden it better, and you wish that you could spare her the worry. She’s put up such a strong front for you. Between Steve, Dustin, Lucas, and Max, Robin knew you didn’t want yet another person coddling you.
So she stepped back, gave you the space you wanted, but you’re still her best friend. Robin won’t let you forget that.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper to her, holding onto her as tightly as she holds onto you.
Robin shrugs again. “Nothing to forgive, pretty girl.”
And it’s as simple as that.
Though Steve can’t hear your conversation, he watches you and Robin fondly. The two of you sway together, laughing occasionally. Eddie notices the way Steve looks at you and laughs to himself.
“You know, I was jealous of you, too.”
Steve raises his eyebrow. “What?”
“I was jealous of you and Henderson, the little one, I mean. Guess I couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. I mean, rich parents, popular, chicks love him, not a douche? No way dude. That like, flies in the face of all laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine.”
Then Eddie motions towards you. “And when you started dating Y/N? C’mon, man. Everyone knows Y/N Henderson is like, God’s gift to selflessness. I watched her tutor kids in the library like goddamn Gandhi, and suddenly she’s dating you? There isn’t any law in the universe to explain that. Fucking unfair.”
Though he knows he should be offended, Steve finds himself laughing. If he’s being honest, he’s relieved that someone else is questioning whether Steve deserves you. From the moment he met you, you’ve tried convincing him that he’s always deserved you. But Steve knows better, and he can’t believe it’s Eddie Munson who sees this, too.
“If it makes you feel any better, I also don’t know why Y/N chose me.” Steve confesses, catching Eddie’s attention. “Honestly, I don’t think I ever would’ve been someone she even liked had we not been dragged into the Upside Down together. I was a douchebag. She hated me for years, but I guess saving her life a few times earned me some brownie points.”
Eddie snorts. “Surprised you’re not claiming it was your ‘stunningly good looks’ that made Y/N fall for you. Oh how humble you’ve become.”
“Y/N changed me.” Steve’s eyes find your body again. They will always draw towards you no matter where you are.
The sincerity in Steve’s voice surprises Eddie. Licking his lips, he sighs. “Well whatever she did, I never would’ve jumped in that lake to save your ass, not under any normal circumstances.” A branch snaps, Steve and Eddie turn to its source, but there’s nothing there. Sighing again, Eddie continues to walk. “Outside of DnD, I’m no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run… at least, that’s what I’ve learned about myself this week.”
Steve doesn’t know where Eddie is going with this. “Hey, give yourself a break, man.”
Eddie points to you, Robin, and Nancy walking up ahead. “No, you see. The only reason I came in here was ‘cause those ladies came in straight after you. I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Y/N? She dove in the second your head went under. Nearly tore Robin’s arm off trying to get to you.”
Something heavy settles in Steve’s chest. There’s a shift, there’s something that simmers deep into his rib cage.
Eddie forces Steve to look at him. “I don’t know how you did it, but she loves you. The way she was screaming your name, it was an unambiguous sign of true love that these cynical eyes have ever seen. And if someone like Y/N Henderson loves you… then I figured you must be worth saving.”
Steve’s breath stutters. He looks up at you again, the warmth that cascades his veins whenever he sees you overwhelms him. Steve loves you more than anything. To be told how deeply you love him by someone else is almost too much.
You and Steve have been fighting so much recently. He’s said awful things to you, you’ve hurt him in ways he hadn’t known he could hurt. All the unspoken words, all the uncertainty and fear, and yet you dove in to save Steve without hesitating.
And isn’t that all that love is? To love without expectations, without hesitancy. Love is the inability to separate your breath from the person’s lungs; you took all the air out of Steve’s chest the moment you smiled at him.
You’re the best goddamn thing that has ever happened to Steve. He’s always known this, he’s always known that what the two of you have is special. It’s something more than just young love.
So what if the future you envision doesn’t align with Steve’s? How could something so small, so miniscule as compared to forever with you, be what Steve allows to drive you away? You deserve more than just his insecurities. You’ve already decided that Steve deserves your love, what more can he want from you?
He already has you; Steve won’t let you walk away from him. Not this time, not when what you have is rare and real and raw.
Steve almost wants to laugh at how funny it is. He’d been so worried about losing you, that he almost lost you in the process. What’s even worse: it took a five minute conversation with fucking Eddie Munson to even realize it.
“Y/N, she’s–” Steve begins, but the ground starts to shake again and he’s falling. Eddie curses, sick of these earthquakes, and Steve braces himself as the rumbling continues.
Robin struggles to hold onto you as you cower together under the earth’s violent shaking. Instinctively your head turns toward Steve to make sure he’s okay. You find him on the ground next to Eddie. Sensing your eyes on him, Steve looks up and nods reassuringly at you. Relieved, you breathe against Robin.
“Second on my list of least favorite things,” she says, voice shaking. “Earthquakes. Seriously, I’m unsteady enough as it is.”
“At least you have two working legs.” You quip.
Robin shushes you, but her voice raises when she sees Nancy stand and take off. “Nancy!”
Squinting at the darkness, you see the girl’s figure disappearing into the treeline. She’s running alarmingly fast, way too fast for anyone to catch up in time, and your heart lurches. None of you should be splitting up right now. It isn’t safe. “Fuck! Someone stop her!”
Robin quickly throws you onto your feet and you call after Steve and Eddie to follow. If running was difficult with a bleeding out leg, it’s almost impossible with the ground shaking beneath you. But if Nancy’s in trouble, you need to get to her as soon as you can. Leg be damned.
Breaking through the treeline, you find her standing at the edge of a clearing. There are fallen trees everywhere. Red lightning illuminates the Wheeler house before you. By some miracle, you’ve made it.
“Come on.” Nancy breaks the silence, chin held high. She isn’t giving up now, not when you’re all so close.
She starts to walk, never looking back, and you look at Steve. He grabs your hand. You take a deep breath. You fucking hope Nancy’s plan works.
This is your only chance of going home.
–
The Wheeler house is exactly how you remember it, only vines and debris maims its usually pristine appearance. Nancy walks through the door first while Steve shines a flashlight. Particles float everywhere. You try not to think about the fact that you’re inhaling them.
Your foot catches on a stray vine, its tendrils flail angrily at you. Stomping your foot away, you look wearily at Nancy. “Love the decor.”
She rolls her eyes while Robin echoes you. “Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler.”
Ignoring the two of you, Nancy ushers everyone upstairs. While her voice is level, the unease in her body is apparent. She doesn’t like seeing her home this way. Sympathetic, you start to follow Nancy, but for a split second you think you hear Dustin’s voice.
It’s faint, mostly incoherent, and you think you’ve finally gone crazy. That’s it. Vecna has won, you’ve lost the remaining sanity you had left.
But then Steve suddenly freezes next to you. His bewilderment tells you that he hears Dustin, too. That’s your brother. You’d know his nasally voice anywhere.
Sharing a look with Steve, you simultaneously begin running around the house, trying to follow the sound of Dustin’s voice. You remember Will telling you how he could hear Joyce’s cries for him while he’d been trapped in the Upside Down. It had been the only way Joyce could communicate with him. What if this is the same?
“Start screaming,” you command Steve, limping over to one of the walls.
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s what Will did, he-he screamed for his mom and Joyce was able to hear him.” You press our mouth close to the wall and shout, “Dustin!”
He has to hear you. You don’t know what you’ll do if he doesn’t.
Steve wastes no time following along, screaming Dustin’s name at the top of his lungs as well. You know the two of you must look like complete idiots, but you’re desperate.
“Dustin! Dustin Henderson you have five seconds to answer me!” You yell, throat burning.
“Hello? Answer us!” Steve stands in the center of the kitchen, crouched down as if getting ready to bolt.
This is how Nancy, Robin, and Eddie find you. The three of them stare at you and Steve in concern, though none of them want to get any closer. Robin ducks her head down, whispers, “Maybe they really do have rabies.”
“What are you guys doing?” Nancy demands, fed up.
“He’s here,” Steve whips his flashlight around, facing them. “Henderson. That little shit, he’s here. He’s like-he’s in the walls or something. Just listen.”
Dustin, predictably, is quiet the moment Steve tells everyone to listen.
You pound on the wall. “Oh, now you’re quiet?” Everyone looks at you skeptically and you rub your face tiredly. “Look, I know this all sounds crazy, but I can hear Dustin, alright? It’s him.”
“Dustin!” Steve continues to screech, not helping your whole “we aren’t crazy” argument.
Only Dustin’s voice returns, and thankfully Nancy and everyone else hears it. Together you all search the house, calling your brother’s name out. Yet now matter how loud you scream, he doesn’t respond.
“Alright, either this kid can’t hear us or he’s being a total douchebag.” Steve drops his flashlight.
You blow hair out of your face. “Normally he’s a douchebag, but not nearly to this extent.”
Nancy stands next to you. “But Will found a way to make Joyce listen.”
“When Joyce couldn’t hear him anymore, she used the Christmas lights.” You look at her. “Do you think…?”
She’s already running to the nearest lamp in the kitchen. Flicking the switch, nothing happens. You suggest trying a different light, though you know it won’t make a difference. When the lights remain unlit, you slam your palm against the table in frustration.
“Guys?” Steve gets your attention. He’s shining his flashlight at the chandelier that hangs over the Wheeler’s dining table. “You seeing this?”
Where Steve points his flashlight, a warm, evanescent glow emits from the chandelier. You gasp at its beauty, you’ve never seen anything like it. Nancy steps towards the light and slowly puts her hand into the loose waves that flow between the lights. It’s encased in small orbs that float gently into the air.
Nancy’s fingers dance in the light. A path of gold leaves a trail where her fingers have been. The particles in the light surround her hand, pulled in by her presence. Breathless, you reach out as well. The light kisses your hand, and the sensation is soft, almost ticklish.
“This is insane,” you murmur in awe, face illuminated. You never thought you’d encounter beauty in such a place as the Upside Down. But at least Will found the beauty, too. “This must be how Will did it.”
Robin, Steve, and Eddie copy you and Nancy, putting their hands into the light as well. The five of you twirl your fingers around, causing the light to flicker with every movement.
Steve’s pinky reaches for yours. “It… tickles?”
“It kinda feels good.” Mumbles Robin, making figure 8’s with her finger.
Nancy then lowers her hand and asks if anyone knows morse code. She mostly looks at you when you ask, and you bitterly tell her no. You’d think after everything you and the party have been through, you’d at least learn morse code by now.
“Wait, does SOS count?”
Eddie’s stupid question makes you hit his chest. “Of course it counts!”
“Ow!” He shoves you away from him, straightening his leather jacket. “A ‘yes” would’ve sufficed.”
Nancy shushes the two of you and instructs Eddie to start typing out the code. With a huff, he listens, and soon he begins the pattern for SOS. A soft buzz accompanies every flicker of the light. With each letter combination, you can practically feel Dustin getting closer and closer to you.
It’s almost an indescribable feeling. Somewhere, in another universe, Dustin is standing right where you are. You aren’t sure how you know, maybe you’ll never be able to find the right words, but your brother’s presence settles over your own.
This must be how Jonathan felt when Joyce was in the Upside Down. He whispered her name so softly when he followed her with the lights. Their love for one another tethered them; now it’s your love for Dustin that tethers him to you.
“Dustin,” his name comes out whispered, relieved. He’s okay, you can feel that he’s safe.
“Y/N?” Dustin’s muffled shouting fills everyone with relief. Steve and Eddie high five, Nancy lets out the breath she’d been holding, and Robin cheers while you hastily wipe your eyes. The SOS worked. “Is that-is that you?”
“Yes!” Steve screams into the chandelier, though you know your brother won’t be able to hear.
Anxious to get to Dustin as fast as you can, you shove your hands into the chandelier’s light and send a long, bright beam of light. More muffled screaming can be heard on the other side, only this time laughter accompanies it.
“Holy shit!” Dustin exclaims in awe. The amazement in his voice makes you miss him even more. There’s a murmur of other voices, you can only assume one of them is Lucas’, before Dustin shouts even louder, “We’re gonna find you a better light source. Don’t move.”
You roll your eyes. “Like we can go anywhere else.”
Dustin leaves again, but he’s back within minutes. Through loud screaming, he tells you to find Holly’s Lite Brite and go to Nancy’s room. Him and Lucas will meet the rest of you there.
The moment Dustin leaves again, Nancy shoves everyone upstairs. “I’ll find the light pad, the rest of you go. Now.”
And that’s how you find yourself restlessly staring at a child’s light up toy on Nancy Wheeler’s bed with Steve’s chest pressed against your back. He leans close to the toy, mumbling under his breath, “Come on, little Henderson.”
The Lite Brite suddenly comes to life. You throw your hands up triumphantly, giddy. “Yes!”
“You guys seeing this?” Dustin asks, to which Nancy responds by putting her hand into the light. Dustin squeals in excitement. This must be a scientific dream for him. “Okay, we’re not moving it, but we’re gonna unplug it. Stand by.”
The light fades away and Dustin prompts someone to spell something. Everyone turns to you. He’s your brother, you should be the one to make first contact.
Carefully, you use your pointer finger to spell out D.U.S.T.
Eddie cocks his head. “‘Dust’?”
“He’ll understand.”
When your mom first brought Dustin home from the hospital, he’d been so small. Immediately you fell in love with the small baby, but his size had confused you. You’d never seen anything so tiny before.
“He’s small,” you informed your father, making a face at the yawning baby before you. “Like dust.”
You were only three, but you can still remember the way your dad had laughed. For years afterwards you never referred to Dustin by his actual name. He was only ever “Dust” to you. Your father joined, the nickname stuck, though your mother came to prefer “Dusty.”
It was only after your father left that you stopped calling your brother Dust.
“Dust!” Dustin laughs excitedly. “I’m Dust! Yes!” He raises his voice louder, he can’t believe you remembered the old childhood nickname. “That worked, guys!”
Everyone cheers, Eddie even throws in his own enthusiastic “hi” to the Lite Brite. Your face aches from how hard you smile. Turning the toy over to Nancy, you nod at her. “All yours, Wheeler.”
Her eyebrows knit together as she thinks for a moment. There’s so much to tell Dustin and the others, but the Lite Brite is small and too many words to keep track of. “What should I write?”
“‘Help’ would be a pretty good place to start.” You suggest to her.
Instead, Nancy ends up spelling “stuck”. Which is pretty fitting, all things considered. Gets the message across well.
“You can’t get back through Watergate?”
Steve questions whatever the hell watergate is and Robin has to explain the wordplay. While she does so, pride swells deep within your chest. “Dustin’s a little genius that I love so much.”
“It was pretty clever.” Eddie admits.
Nancy tells Dustin that the gate you all came through is guarded. However, never missing a beat, Dustin tells you that he thinks they have a theory that can help. “We think Watergate isn’t the only gate, that there’s one at every murder site.”
You jerk your head up, eyes widening. It all makes sense now. “Wait, I think he’s–”
“Does anyone have any idea what he’s talking about?” Nancy asks tiredly. Everyone gives her equally tired no’s, but you nod viciously.
“Yes! We already know there’s multiple gates, we just didn’t know how, but Dustin might’ve figured it out. It’s all connected to the murders.”
Nancy looks skeptical. “I don’t know…” Before you can argue with her, she sends a “?” back to Dustin.
Who, predictably, doesn’t take it well. “Seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?”
Steve grimaces. “Jesus Christ. This kid’s gotta get his ego checked out.”
“It’s his tone, right?” Eddie butts in.
You shove them both. “Shut up. Both of you. Dustin can be annoying and frustrating, but he’s right. He’s always been right. Now if you guys would actually listen, he’ll get us out of here.”
Looking pointedly at everyone, you start to explain. “There was a gate in Lover’s Lake, which we obviously found,” your arms wave behind you. “The same lake where Patrick died. Now, where else has a dead body been found?”
“Eddie’s trailer,” Nancy straightens, understanding where you’re going with this. Looking at Eddie, she asks him how far it is.
“Seven miles.”
Your head drops. “Why couldn’t you have lived closer?”
“I’m sorry I’m… poor?” Eddie looks at you incredulously.
You flick a dismissive hand at him, but Robin cuts in between you two. “Nancy, I know your house here is, like, weirdly, creepily frozen in time and shit–”
“It’s what?” Obviously you missed some important details.
Robin holds her hand up. “I’ll explain later. Anyways, haven’t you always had bikes?”
You and Nancy share a look, both thinking the same thing: the bikes would be perfect. That, and they’re kinda your only option at the moment.
–
Since you’re in no condition to bike (your thigh has only just stopped bleeding) and there’s only four bikes anyways, Steve has you wrap your arms around his chest and stand on his pegs. He claims it’s so that you can avoid putting any weight on your leg, but you honestly think he just wants you to hold him. Pressing your body close to his, you look around at the houses you pass.
In a strange, twisted way, it’s exhilarating biking through an Upside Down Hawkins. Everything, and yet nothing, is the same. The houses you pass are frozen in time, empty, ghostly. Robin, Nancy, and Eddie bike alongside you and Steve. The scene is almost reminiscent of the night you biked Will home, wind in your hair and the night sky before you.
Everything has changed since then.
Somewhere along the route to Eddie’s, you bike past the Creel house. Your arms tighten instinctively around Steve. A chill runs through you, the house is just as haunting in the Upside Down as it is back in your universe. Your head throbs being so close to it, as if warning you, but Steve is turning into Eddie’s neighborhood before you can think much else of it.
“That’s gotta be a Guinness World Record.” Robin throws her bike down, breathless. “Most miles traveled interdimensionally.”
Steve coughs, swatting at the particles in the air. “Just inhaled a bunch of that crap.”
“I’ve been trying not to think about how much of the Upside Down we’ve ingested since being here.”
“It’s stuck in my throat, Y/N.”
“Again, I’m trying not to think about that.”
Eddie opens his trailer door and, just as Dustin predicted, there’s a gate. It’s just like the one in Lover’s lake had been: illuminating red light, vines all around its edges. An open wound.
“This is where Chrissy died.” Eddie stares up at the gate, which resides in the ceiling. He swallows heavily. “Like, right where she died.”
“I’m sorry.” Your hand finds Eddie’s arm. You don’t know much about what their relationship had been, but he seems to have cared about the girl a lot.
Eddie gives you a tight lipped smile, his eyes shining slightly. As he looks at you, Robin sees something moving in the gate. “I think there’s something in there.”
Something starts to protrude from it, causing the gate to swell rapidly. The vines almost seem to snarl at the intrusion. An ominous, unsteady croak emits from the gate. The sound sets your nerves on edge and Steve shoves you behind him protectively. Hand on your knives, you raise them, bracing.
The gate explodes, spewing liquid and vines everywhere. You all scream, jumping back, as something rips through the membrane-like material. Unable to tell what’s just happened, you squint up at the ceiling.
Nothing jumps out at you, no bats come to feast on your flesh. Finding Steve’s eye, you silently ask him if you should walk closer. Nodding, he grabs your hand, and together you creep towards the remains of the gate.
When you look up, you find Dustin’s smug, joyous face staring back at you. Only he’s upside down with Max, Lucas, and Erica, all just as in shock as you are.
You’ve never been more relieved to see them in your life. Dropping your hands to your knees, you bend over and finally breathe. “Oh, thank God.”
“No way…” Steve waves at them, and they wave right back. “Hi.”
“Dustin!” If your leg wasn’t hanging by a thread, you’d be jumping up and down right now. Instead, you opt for waving like a madman at your brother. The entire situation is so fucking bizarre, but you don’t even care anymore. “You did it!”
“I did it!” Dustin giggles. “Bada bada boom!”
After some heated discussions and a few arguments, Dustin and the others come up with a way to get the five of you out of the Upside Down. Using Eddie’s bed sheets as a makeshift rope had been the easy part. What caused nearly a fist fight between Max and Dustin had been figuring out a soft landing pad for you guys.
“I, uh. Have a mattress?” Eddie finally suggested when he noticed Max’s fist clenching.
She glared at him. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
“Well, I mean. It’s-uh. Minor details?”
But none of them had time to question Eddie’s sudden shyness regarding his mattress. Dustin got straight to work tying the bed sheets together while Max and Lucas worked on dragging the mattress out of Eddie’s room.
However, the moment it landed on the ground, all eyes went to the giant stains on the bed. Cringing in disgust, you eye Eddie.
Seeing your disapproving look, he swallows. “Those stains are, uh…” He tries to come up with an excuse, but eventually he realizes it’s better to just accept defeat. “I don’t know what those stains are.”
“Would we want to know even if you knew?” You ask him, already knowing the answer.
“... Probably not.”
Dustin tosses the bed sheet rope up, or rather down, through the gate. “Not quite sure how these physics are gonna work, but here goes nothing.”
Miraculously, it lands perfectly in front of you. Dustin tugs at the rope before letting go of it completely. You gasp. The rope stands on its own, stiff but secure, and Dustin lets out a pleased laugh. “Abracadabra.”
“I’ve never understood physics.” You say, pulling at the rope. It doesn’t move. “But even I can admit that this is cool.”
Dustin high fives Erica and Robin steps up first. “Guess I’m the guinea pig.”
“Please be careful.” You tell her, already dreading your own ascent. Your shoulder still aches and you were never the best at climbing the rope for gym. You preferred soccer, track, anything that involved leg coordination. Not upper body.
Robin slowly climbs up, and when her body hits the disgusting mattress back in your dimension, you let out a breath of relief. “That was kinda fun,” Robin giggles slightly.
Then Eddie stares at you, Steve, and Nancy. He waits for someone to move, obviously not wanting to be next. But when no one does, he shakes his head. “Alright, I guess I’ll go.”
Steve holds the rope steady and Eddie falls onto his mattress safely. He sits up, exhilarated. “That was fun.” He echoes Robin.
Steve gestures for Nancy to go next. “I’ll help Y/N up after you’re done.”
She gives him an uncertain look, eyeing your injuries, and you try to smile at her reassuringly. “Go, I’ll be fine. Promise.”
Knowing it’s as good of an answer she’ll get from you, Nancy takes a deep breath. “See you on the other side.”
You grab her waist and help hoist her up alongside Steve. She’s swift, her strength impresses you. She’s almost reached the top before you hear the first chime.
It’s loud, deafening. The chime of a grandfather clock.
Another chime follows, then a third, a fourth. It wracks your skull with its force.
You turn, gasping, expecting to find the grandfather clock that Max had seen in her vision. Only you’re met with darkness. You can’t see anything, you can’t find a way out. You can’t feel Steve next to you, your hands try to find his in the dark, but all they’re met with is air.
“What–” Panic chokes you. None of this is right, you don’t know where you are, you don’t know what’s happening and you can’t feel Steve and–
The sensation of sunlight kissing your face stops you.
Your eyes open. You’re no longer in Eddie’s trailer.
You’re outside, there’s sunshine all around you. In front of you is a field of dandelions, their sweet yellow reflects the gold of the sun above. The grass beneath your feet is soft, lush and green. A bee flies past your head and someone calls your name.
You’ve been here before. In the distance resides a small house on a hill. The blue door and white frames of your childhood home welcomes you. You’re back in Virginia. Someone calls your name again.
The voice is familiar.
It’s your father, calling you home.
The realization knocks all the air out of your lungs. None of this is real. You know it isn’t real, but to hear your father’s voice, so sweet and saccharine again, it makes you weak. But it isn’t real. Your legs begin to move, you’re running before you can think of anything else.
This is a vision. The scent of oak trees and strawberries isn’t real. The wheat that skims your thighs as you run doesn’t exist. “This is a vision,” you try to talk to yourself, your fingers dig into your pockets for your walkman.
You know you’re supposed to always have it on you, that’s what Dustin told you, but there’s nothing there. Panic swells within your chest once more. “No, please–”
Distracted as you look for your walkman, you don’t see the body in front of you.
Colliding into your father, he steadies you. “Woah, there.”
His calloused hands are rough and familiar. He’s laughing, his voice is the same gruff voice that used to sing you to sleep. Your father looks down at you and your entire body freezes when your eyes meet his.
You haven’t seen him ever since you were twelve. He looks the same as the day he left. His smile is the same, the crooked teeth charming. Your father’s nose still points up ever so slightly. The only indication that he’s aged are the wrinkles that line his face, years of sunlight etching them.
But it’s his eyes that hurt you the most. They’re still kind.
“What are ya runnin’ from, ladybug?” Your father asks you, his southern drawl liquid honey to your ears.
Tears build within you hearing the childhood nickname. You were his ladybug for as long as you could remember. When he used to call, he’d whisper the name over the phone as an apology for everything he’d done to you.
Because you can’t help it, because you’ll never be able to do this again, you hug your father. He lets out a soft chuckle at the impact, his arms hold you as they’ve always done. Your face buries itself into his rough t-shirt.
You’re a little girl who needs her daddy right now.
“I.. I missed you, daddy.” Voice breaking, you begin to cry.
Your father’s palm rests against your hand. He hums, soothing the ache in your bones. “You know you can never outrun it.”
The words unsettle you, there’s something about them that causes you to pull away. “Outrun what–?” “The guilt, ladybug. It will always find you.” Your father’s smile twists into a sickening grimace. The muscles in his face conjoin, his eyes darken as his voice becomes gravel. Deeper. Until it isn’t your father’s voice anymore, but someone else's. “I will always find you.”
Too late do you realize that it’s Vecna who now has you. You start to scream, thrashing in your father’s arms to escape, but he only grips you harder. He’s laughing, but it’s no longer your father’s laughter.
Suddenly you’re thrown into the lake behind you. You fall, screaming, as you descend deep into a pitch black void. Your arms reach out, you try to find anything to grab onto, but there’s nothing. It’s just endless emptiness.
You land harshly on your back, all the air gone. You gasp, choke on whatever air remains in your body. The impact leaves you coughing, clawing at the ground beneath you to breathe. Soil scrapes under your nails, your palm gets cut on a root.
You’re in the woods.
Scrambling to sit up, you realize you’re in the same part of the woods that Will went missing in. Fear cuts through your veins. Why would Vecna take you here?
“Will?” You’re on your feet now, cupping your hands over your mouth as you shout his name. Does Vecna have him? Have you lost him again? “Will!”
“He needed you that night.” Vecna’s voice taunts you, the sound like rocks grinding together. “Where were you?”
You’re running now. Branches cut your face as you break through them. You have to find Will. You can’t lose him again. You can’t do that to Jonathan, to Joyce and El and Dustin and Mike and everyone else. You’re the one who lost Will that night.
He had needed you. Isn’t that what Vecna said?
“Nancy!” Sobbing, you call for someone, anyone. But no one answers. Your vision blurs with tears, there’s someone running behind you. Chasing you. Terrified, you scream for the person you need the most. “Steve!”
Saying his name must trigger something, because suddenly the scene changes. You’re no longer in the woods. You’re on the ledge of someone’s roof, overlooking a window sill. A large, bay window that you’ve spent countless slow mornings residing on.
Steve’s house.
He’s standing in front of his bed, facing the window, facing you, but he doesn’t look at you. Not how he always does; his gaze lacks warmth.
“Steve!” You pound on the glass, you try desperately to get him to acknowledge you, but he doesn’t. His eyes are on Nancy, who sits on the bed before him. He leans down, brushes her hair out of her face, before bridging the distance between them.
You watch as Steve kisses Nancy. He cups her chin the way he cups yours. Bile rises in your throat; you can’t turn away. Their kisses become heated, Steve is tugging at Nancy’s hair and her clothes. She tugs at him as well, he helps her remove his shirt.
Nancy’s lips trace the expanse of Steve’s neck and his eyes, once closed in bliss, now open. He looks right at you.
“Did you really think I’d forget her, Y/N?” His voice digs into your ears. Nancy nips at his neck and he moans. He throws his head back, looks at you again. “I can’t. At least, not as easily as your dad forgot you.”
You stumble back, crying so hard you can barely breathe. Steve laughs seeing your heartbroken reaction. It’s cruel and awful. He’s cold. You’ve never known his voice to hold so much malice. Not towards you. Not towards anyone.
He’s wrong. Steve doesn’t love Nancy, not anymore. Vecna is the one saying this, you know it isn’t Steve. He would never say any of this to you, he could never be so cruel to you. He loves you. You know he does.
“N-no! This isn’t-this isn’t real–”
But the hatred in Steve’s eyes causes your foot to catch on the edge of the roof. You don’t have time to catch yourself; your body is weightless again, only this time it’s a much shorter fall. You land on concrete. Ripping your eyes open, there are domed walls around you.
Nancy stands above you.
Hyperventilating, you crawl away from her. You’re in Steve’s pool, only it’s empty, infested with vines, and your fingers stain the ground with blood. Everything in your body is screaming at you to run.
“Y/N–” Nancy tries to stop you, but you scream at her, kicking. She only barely avoids your fury. Holding her hands up, she lowers her voice, softens it. She’s crying, her terror the same as yours. “Y/N, it’s me, okay?”
Your body trembles with exhaustion. You close your eyes, tired of fighting. “Please be real.”
“I’m real.” Nancy swears to you, carefully reaching for you. When you allow her touch, she helps you stand up.
The memory of her having sex with Steve is burned into your mind. You can’t look Nancy in the eye. She breathes heavily next to, looking around for a way out, when she sees something. A strangled cry leaves Nancy’s lips.
Barbara Holland’s corpse sits on the other side of the pool.
You cover your mouth with a gasp, choking slightly at the sight. Nancy cries out in pain, in grief, seeing her best friend’s body dismembered by vines. You stumble towards Nancy and hold her as she sobs.
“Do you remember what you did, Nancy? Or have you already forgotten?” Vecna’s voice shakes the pool. “Don’t worry, I showed Y/N. When I kill someone… I never forget.”
A sob collapses in your chest. Barb’s death hadn’t been Nancy’s fault. Yet to place her in the same pool Barb was killed in, to show Nancy her corpse, is unrelenting cruelty.
All around you, blood pours from the vents of the pool. It comes out quick, thick, at a dizzying speed. Nancy tugs at your hand and practically throws you up the ladder to escape. But when you reach the top, you’re met with a red hell.
It’s exactly how Max drew it.
Fragments of stairs, jagged pieces of wood, a grandfather clock, they all drift through the air painted with blood-red. Somewhere there’s screaming, the sound only drowned out by lightning. A clock ticks over and over again. Its metronome is maddening.
Nancy holds your hand and neither one of you lets go. Having nowhere else to go, you’re forced to walk down the stairs you arrived at. The clock chimes again and your heart stops.
“I see you’ve been looking for me, Nancy. And Y/N…” Vecna pauses, preying on you. “I’ve been watching you for quite some time.”
Everything stops.
“All the guilt, all the pain.”
It comes to you in flashes.
How Will used to smile at you, before his childhood was taken from him. Max’s blue eyes, shining with youth and happiness, before grief killed her. Billy, how he would be kind to your mother at the pool. Hopper, the way you’d bicker with him just to get him to smile.
It’s all gone because of you; you can’t remember how to breathe.
Vecna feeds on your fear. “How fragile you’ve become… like a dandelion.”
The wording, it’s too specific to not mean anything. Dandelions were once one of your favorite flowers. Before a nightmare from last summer changed everything. The dandelions had filled your mouth with razors and choked you. Someone called your name in the distance, they’d been too late to save you.
The dream had felt so real. You’d woken up with tears in your eyes.
And now you know it had been Vecna all along. Even back then. He’s been watching you for far longer than you realized. The realization chokes you, the fear overwhelms you. He’s been here all along.
Nancy yanks at your arm, you can barely hear her over the roaring in your head. “Y/N, listen to my voice.”
She’s shaking you, trying to bring you back to her, but you’re lost. Hyperventilating, you struggle to catch your breath. You feel too vulnerable. Raw. Exposed. There are corpses strung up by vines in front of you. Fred’s broken jaw. Chrissy’s snapped neck. Patrick’s empty eye sockets.
The same will happen to you.
You’ve spent so long trying to be strong, trying to keep everyone safe. You’ve devoted your entire life to protecting others, helping them. But Vecna has been watching you for almost an entire year, maybe even longer, and you hadn’t noticed.
It’s why he’s targeted Max. He watched you take care of everyone you loved. Vecna watched you raise the girl. He knew it’d hurt you the most to lose her. It hadn’t been a coincidence. It’s all your fault. It’s always your fault. Will went missing because of you. Billy died because you hadn’t said anything. Max will die because you hadn’t seen the signs sooner.
Nancy’s screams fall deaf on your ears. She shakes you, begs you to come back, but why should you?
This is all your fault.
It’s always your fault.
It’s always your fault. It’s always your fault. It’s always your fault. It’s always–
You feel your body lift.
Everything fades to black.
-
⌑ series masterlist
⌑ i am no longer doing a taglist, my apologies ! however, please feel free to like, reblog, and comment instead :)
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite
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OMFG JUST FINISHED BORDERLINE AND MY BRAIN IS SPINNING LIKE A FIGIT SPINNER
Like how do they draw boundaries?? What about personal stuff?? WHAT IF ONE OF THEM HAS A MISSION TO SPACE omg CAN DICK AS A TALON STILL GO TO SPACE?? I'm pretty sure that the temperatures drop and that would be terrible for him if the temperature isn't regulated as to his needs on AND off ship, that would surely be such a big problem because hes quite a figure in the hero community + leader of the titans, Bruce too! As the center of the bond and fucking batman it would not let him do a lot of stuff, and if B is in a cold place he would have to concentrate to not let the feeling go to dick I think? And the whole family is just so needed in so many tasks so far away from each other I'm just so worried about them 😭😭😭
(btw PHENOMENAL WRITING I LOVE IT SO mUCH)
Thank you so much!! It’s such a horrifying thing to consider; that overlap of minds and how you share everything. How you can keep some things back but not without repercussions. And of course Dick’s new status and how he grapples with that, and the guilt of how it affects the others in the bond when he can’t handle things he used to.
Genuinely, parts of that fic weirded/grossed me out so much and I wrote the dang thing 😂 I know if that ever happened to me I wouldn’t handle it as well as Bruce did, that’s for sure.
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HI HELLO I LOVE YOUR STUFF
i was wondering, for a person who has obviously thought abt them extremely in depth and drawn wonderful conclusions, how would you describe haikaveh in 3 songs?
Hiya!!!! AHHH thank you so much!! :''') I'm glad you enjoy my brainrot omg <3 ohhhh that's such an interesting question?? i've been thinking about this ask for the past few days so i'm sorry this has taken some time to get to! 3 songs is EVIL!!! i feel every song i listen to i try to relate it to Them, but i can give you my most listened to! plus an extra one (IM CHEATING!!!!)
mitski - the star (the idea of love changing with time, them acting like 'fools' when they first met because of this nonreplicable connection, them falling apart but that light still burning? them travelling very far, further apart, and then back together, always connected by what they share?? and IM CHEATING IDC!! the frost by mitski is also incredibly relevant here??? there's an incredible art of it that makes me lose my mind. mitski is haikaveh coded fr)
2. bad omens - just pretend (very evidently alhaitham's pov, the miscommunication and the misunderstandings between them wearing away at him on the inside, the idea of not being ready at first, being too different, but having the knowledge that they'll come together once more when these differences are accepted, the willingness to wait (for YEARS!!), and the slight insecurity that comes from this, it's just such a lovely song, an experience to listen to, and it really makes me think about the emotional aspect of alhaitham when he and and kaveh were apart)
3. the stiff dylans - ultraviolet (i didn't just want to offer angst, and since this is meant to describe haikaveh i wanted to at least give one upbeat option! this song is so v fun, i see this from both perspectives, just them being perpetually intrigued by the other, constantly drawn into each other's orbit, being a necessary light to each other, just yeah <3)
+1 the devil wears prada - the thread (this is my personal ult haikaveh song <333 when i first got into haikaveh, this song was on repeat, for those who like heavier music i really recommend it! i was so invested that i broke the lyrics down to relate it to haikaveh (which i did here), this song really has a chokehold on me so it's the song i'm cheating with hehe)
#kavetham#haikaveh#alhaitham#kaveh#THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK OP!! THIS WAS SO FUN!!#honestly i think all songs i listen to remind me of Them but the angstier ones always hit harder for me#i guess angst comes naturally to me hence why im drawn to their dynamic#i also listen to these types of songs when im writing fic so perhaps that also influences the angstier parts of my writing..?#THANK YOU AGAIN!!!! <333333
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any random hc's you have for cadet!aruani? literally go all out, i don't mind how long it is before you think you're rambling (which still wouldn't even be a problem, the more the merrier!) id love to hear them!!
Hello! Omg thanks for the opportunity!
To be honest I don't think I have that many xD Most of my cadet headcanons are mentioned in BECK, but I guess I can think of a few that I haven’t figured out a way to work in yet.
Paradis and Marley have different writing systems. They both speak the same language (aka that of the former Eldian empire), but in the century of separation the spelling on some words and even their meanings diverged from the original language. This means that RBA had to relearn how to write when they arrived on Paradis. Annie and the rest still make the occasional mistake. Armin noticed the seemingly random errors Annie makes when they started studying together. He attributes them to her rushing through her homework, and he thinks it’s extremely cute. He hasn’t said anything though, other than correct them gently when she gives him her essay to proofread, because he doesn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. For her part, Annie avoids giving him an explanation because she’s too scared he’s going to figure out she’s lying. She secretly worries about whether he thinks she’s dumb and tries to memorize the right spelling of every word he has ever corrected as quickly as possible.
Before they started talking, they had noticed each other in the library. Annie was there to ascertain the technology level of the enemy military and Armin was there to learn… well, everything he could manage! Too shy to just sit together, they each used to pick a desk at opposite sides of the otherwise empty room. Armin did try to initiate conversation once, by offering Annie some almonds he had with him as snacks, but she declined and that was the end of it.
If Armin was bolder, he’d get her gloves for her birthday because her hands are always cold. He knows because she always rubs them together when no one is looking. If Annie was bolder, he’d get him ribbons for his hair for his birthday because he keeps asking Mina and Krista for hair-ties during training. He’d look pretty in ribbons, she thinks. As it stands neither have so much as whispered a quiet “Happy birthday” to each other.
Armin gets irrationally jealous when the other boys tease Bertolt over his crush on Annie. He doesn’t understand why he feels so offended in her stead when lewd comments about her body are whispered in the training grounds. Annie is surprised no one is talking about how cute Armin is when she eavesdrops on the girls talking about boys in the barracks. It’s always “He’s so sweet,” and they move on. Are they blind?? She has to press her lips together not to blurt out something herself. She’d never live it down if she did.
I think that’s all I have! Sorry if it was short, I hope you liked them :)
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pretty sure these gross trandoshans had a salt creature (a la the man trap) on their ship??
omg I just started a clone wars rewatch (have not seen most of these episodes since like. 5+ years ago) and literally episode 3 like HELLO DISTANT RELATIONS OF THE PURRGIL?!? :o :o
why are we fighting when we could be friending… I mean it makes the purrgil stuff in rebels very interesting bc. the empire still views them as menaces and it’s part of why everything with Ezra worked, and I know Anakin and even young!Ahsoka’s temperaments are different, but… part of me is just going
but what if friend! lol
#sw feels#I was like ??? hold up lol#also omg I forgot that Ahsoka met Chewie here! do you think they ever reconnected? do you think that after the battle of Endor and Yavin the#y found each other and shared a fond moment? do you think she ever sat with Chewie and Luke and Leia and talked about Anakin?#oh no i made myself sad#lol#also also I wonder if whoever made the maleficent movie took inspiration for the viny wall from the landscape of this island#same hat and such yknow#ALSO HIIIIII SUGI GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN YOURE SO COOL HIII~#also oh my god… distraught Anakin.. literally so worried about her… I can’t… like he cares SO much slfjgjdjs#I know we could argue all day about the nuances of Anakin’s attachment & possessive issues but one thing that I don’t think anyone can argu#e is how much he absolutely LOVES people with his whole entire heart he is like. shatteringly genuine and loves so deeply and cares so much#and you see it especially so in moments like these#(and yeah it makes s5 and post-rots hurt even more too 😭)#anyways. other thoughts on this episode: I hope the surviving Jedi younglings from this ep got to do whatever they wanted and by that I mean#I hope that if they wanted to be Jedi again they were either reunited with their old masters or given new ones and also given copious amount#s of therapy and breathing time and recuperation and healing and processing time and that even if they decided not to return to the order th#at they were given all of the above + reunited w their birth families or set up comfortably at a place of their choosing or assisted in gett#ing an apprenticeship or schooling or whatever they wanted. basically I hope they all got a softer life after this and that whether they bec#ame Jedi or not that they also survived order 66 a few years later and overall just had more joy than trauma and sorrow in their lives after#this#and oh no I can feel the fanfic muse descending re: these younglings and like omg imagine writing fic for them aaaaaaaaa#art
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I must always draw them silly and cute together 💘🫶
based off of that one petermj panel + also bonus unmasked Pete version under the cut :)
#my art#insomniac spider man#spider man ps4#spider man 2 ps5#peter parker#mj watson#mary jane watson#petermj#(EXPLODES)#they love each other so much omg i love them#art block is still beating me up so im so inconsistent w everything atm shdjfjdg#i cant wait to see them in the next game im coping by drawing cute stuff tho bc of all the sadness and angst that's gonna happen#insom peter and mj forever my beloveds#not really feeling the unmasked vers tbh but i already drew it so i included it anyways ill draw pete beter fr next time lmao
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Part 2. This time its the Tokyo Five (As I named them) Headcanons in the reblog tags appreciated
#haibara is baby i love him so much omg#also hes a light weight#two beers and he's down#remember the headcanon i had about gojo not beeing able to drink alcohol?#bottom right is what happens if he decides to drink#suguru with the bass is SO HOT OMG#and shopping cart stealing is mandatori for the sashisu trio#kidnapping haibara is a plus#also shoko or geto just casually pulling a pack of cigarettes out of their pocket and the condom coming with#yeah thats canon#the satosho hug makes my knees weak#and the sashisu kisses I CANNOT GET ENOUGH#more artists need to draw them kissing each other#pls i just wanna share my brainrot#nanami eating bread cuz its his fav food!#so many more headcanons feel free to dm me if you wanna hear more about my rotted brain farts#sashisu#satosho#satosho weekend#satoshoko#sugusho#satosugu#stsg#shoko ieiri#satoru gojo#geto suguru#haibara yu#nanami kento#jjk#jujutsu kaisen
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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Well ima scan through all of these seats, going from 1-8
1: I like Starscream but i wouldnt take that seat for my first choice. Luckily Soundwave is behind him.
2: Im sorry but i dont see any way i can be convinced to be seated next to galvatron. Only good thing is that its a window seat.
3: BLITZWING BLITZWING LEMME SIT NEXT TO YOUUUUUUU its not a window seat but idc. I want to sit next to Blitzwing so much. Also its Random :D
4: I love that its a window seat but it all depends on if i can handle Rumble and Frenzy's chaoticness cause if not i dont wanna sit there but if yes LETS GO
5: Oh my the Megatron fanboys. Idk if sitting between them would be good for me but also yes cause otherwise i feel like placing them next to each other would cause a big ass brawl
6: Omg im going to see the energy close up. Otherwise im just okay about the seat.
7: Im next to the spider lady. Hmmmm. Im happy but also ive watched enough tfp to feel like it could go two ways.
8: LOL NO WAY IM IN BETWEEN THEM. THEY GOING TO RIP EACH OTHERS THROATS OUT NO MATTER THE DISTANCE
I made sure there was no option to sit next to Soundwave. Otherwise, it'd be too easy.
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