#they know how to write characters well too imho

[leandra-kinard]

Petty, bitter rant ahead. Maybe not 100% fair (but also not completely inaccurate, imho)

I LOVE how us BT shippers are handling this all (this is not the petty part). And it makes me once more feel kind of smugly proud, especially on contrast to what the BoBs have been doing for the past half year.

What did/do the BoBs do when they are dissatisfied with the storyline? Repetitive, ridiculous, mantra-like one-liners ("Bummy bones!", "Jumpscare!"), insults towards the cast and the characters ("He's ugly").

And when they try to engage with the media a bit more deeply, it's inane babblings about fridge magnets and tinhatting about "Buddie canon, confirmed!" at every turn. It's very reductive, very much crafting a reality around the single-issue point they need to confirm - which kind of nicely fits how the writing of the show itself is reductive and crafts the plot around a few points Tim wants to include, whether it makes sense in a grand scheme or not (it doesn't!).

Us on the other hand?

Some expression of our frustration and disappointment, even sadness, yes. But all of it based on and backed up with actual facts from the narrative itself, or what it technically should have demanded for but didn't follow up with. Instead of throwing tamper tantrums like the worst-behaved toddlers you remember from kindergarten, we have written well-worded criticisms, even essays and analyses on official and unofficial channels.

And while, yes, we need to express our disappointment, our anger and our hurt, most of us are doing something the BoBs were never ready to: we'll stop watching. (Or watch sometime later, more casually, and once we know where the stories are heading). We're not going to posts by Buddie shippers, harassing them over how stupid they are, how ugly and shitty their ship is.

We truly are the smarter, wiser ones, and I think we were too smart and wise for this stupid (and often very lazily, carelessly written) show.

Let the BoBs have this shitshow. We'll have fanon.

[vulturvolanss]

mutuals be honest. how much respect for me have you lost now that i like genshin.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

"I hate how they're writing Damian in Batman #146, he can't be that dumb, he's so ooc."

I mean, they're writing him almost as if he were a literal child who wants, no, needs to believe that his father's ideals aren't as fucked up as his mother's, who blindly believes in the man whom he learnt to trust despite being raised with widely different beliefs and ideals for the majority of his so-far short life.

Almost as if Damian were a pre-teen, or young teen at most (because how old can he be here, 13? 14?) who desperately clings onto the belief, onto the hope that his father hasn't really abandoned him, because his father is Batman, and Batman always has a plan, doesn't he? Obscure, complex, but a plan nonetheless, and it (almost) always turns out fine, so Damian needs to trust him, he knows he can, he knows that Batman is safe.

Logically, everyone else is older; I think the one whose age he's closest to might be Tim here, who's about 18 as usual, I guess. But Damian is a child, he's a child who's overall relatively new to Batman's antics, and he's a child who (unfortunately) rarely saw the difference between Batman and Bruce Wayne, a child who rarely got to meet Bruce Wayne at all, if you think of it.

You (you readers, not the characters in the story - because it makes sense for them to be so lost in the plot of their world that they lose sight of things) cannot blame a child for being delusional for believing with his whole heart that his father is not an evil bastard who's attacking everyone, allies included, family included. Because again, Damian doesn't really have a clear idea of how Batman and Bruce Wayne differ, he rarely got the priviledge to be with his father, Bruce Wayne, and not with his work partner, Batman.

You (readers) cannot really tell me that you're putting the blame on a child for 'snapping out of it' so late.

Of course, everyone is free to have their opinions, and if you think that this version of Damian is ooc or whatever, it's a valid, let's agree to disagree. But from a narrative pov, you can't possibly deny that it makes sense for Damian to be acting like this. He's a child, a literal child.

Expecting him to regulate his emotions as well as his sibs do is messed up. Which, by the way, they don't. Dick is a mess but keeping it together - except for the whole "punching your father senseless" thing, but good for him, I'd have done the same there. Jason is a mess and doesn't try to hide it, Steph is baffled and Babs is exhausted. The others are nowhere to be seen (and I'd have done the same pt2). Tim's the only one with a plan that's actually somewhat good - hope he makes Bruce snap out of his fear-induced little gateaway once and for all.

I know not many are fans of this run, but honestly? I'm digging it, it's possibly one of my faves. I love the drama, love the angst, love the plot-twists, like Damian snapping out of it just for Zur to silence him? Backup Robin who grins suspiciously like Jason? Tim ditching his phone - which is ossibly the most shocking thing? I'm hyped as hell.

All of this endless yapping to say that, okay, feel free to hate this or whatever, but please be humble enough to admit that Damian is being written exactly like he should be. I get it, DCAU gave us "Damian who talks like an old man, who never smiles and doesn't understand his peers" and it's cool. He's a bit like that in the comics too. But newer comics have a (very welcome, imho) tendency to write him as 'awkward' while simultaneously keeping in mind that he's a teen. And it's the best thing ever.

I, for one, needed reassurance at Damian's age. I needed an anchor and that anchor were my parents - growing up, the dynamics shifted but it's not the point. At 13, 14, or whatever Damian's age is, you're just a child who needs reassurance, because you're changing, the world around you is changing, and you're disoriented as if lost at sea. Writing Damian like that makes sense, it's not even up for debate.

He's not ooc, and he's not dumb either.

He's just a child.

Feel free to dislike how they're writing him, feel free to dislike literally every single detail about everything, this is a free world. But please don't tell me that needing a parental figure to be there for you, and that siding with said parental figure no matter what because they're essentially all you got left (rip batfam I guess?) - is ooc for a child. Damian is a child, don't forget that.

[amiya-shirou]

Spoilers about Miquella and Marika's DLC Lore

Hate how there's so much black and white perspective in the Elden Ring community, especially regarding Miquella and Marika. Sorry if this sounds too much like an aggressive rant, it's not really my intention

"Miquella did fucked up shit which clearly clashes with his previous lore about being kind and compassionate, SOTE has bad writing" even in the base game he was already said to be the most fearsome of the demigods and it was kinda implied that he made kindness his weapon as he knew well how to make others love him, perfectly consistent with Ansbach's speech

"Miquella is manipulative so obviously he never really cared about Malenia" with all the things he did for her? is it so hard to believe he truly cared about his twin sister for the sake of which he went so far as to find ways to protect her from an Outer God's influence? with Malenia seemingly knowing about Miquella's plan and everything?

"Radahn loved his horse and protected people so he was obviously a perfectly good gigachad who could never ever agree with Miquella" he was among the forces attacking Leyndell. his ideal was Godrey - a conqueror, and the first Elden Lord. having an obsession with battle and war certainly doesn't sound like someone who could never do anything wrong, no matter how honorable he might be in battle.

"Marika did a lot of bad things and was a tyrant so obviously she never held any real love for poor Messmer or even Godwin and all she cared about was power." she made blessings to help Messmer specifically, something unique enough it's specified she never did such a thing again. 2 of these are dropped by Tree Sentinels protecting her home village which she bathed with Grace and clearly held deep love for. She went to great lengths to help him with his curse when she could have just killed him or imprisoned him where he coulnd't be of harm like she did with the Omen twins. she smashed the Elden Ring, literally sacrificing her position as queen as that action put her against the Greater Will and resulted in her shackling, which definitely doesn't sound like someone who cares about power and herself alone. And about that, if she's been imprisoned ever since before the start of the game with no one knowing about it, why are most people so easily assuming she voluntarily abandoned and ignored Messmer? she physically couldn't contact him if she wanted to. Like, it's debatable, maybe she did abandon him since before the Shattering, but it definitely doesn't feel that obvious to me, and Messmer misinterpreting her disappearance feels more in tune with the FromSoft style tragedy

all this sounds like those who insisted that since Ranni caused the Shattering then of course she can only be evil and manipulative all the time and clearly holds no real affection for the Tarnished and is only manipulating us as well. Which I feel completely clashes with her questline, narrative and characterization.

Kind people can still do evil, especially if they don't fully realize how bad what they're doing is, or if they think they're making a necessary sacrifice. Cruel, fucked up people can still love, and love might be the very reason why they ended up being so cruel. This is something the whole game is built on, and even before Elden Ring, a constant of the Souls series has been about fighting tragic individuals who ended up in antagonistic positions despite their originally good intentions.

imho Marika and Miquella are both better, more complex character than they would have been otherwise, and leave more to discuss about the game's themes and narratives, specifically because they have multiple facets to them. The hated Queen of the Golden Order was originally a victim. Her kind son who tried to fix his family's wrongdoings discarded so much of himself and did so many things to achieve his dream of compassion that he ended up being just as wrong as his mother. Isn't this much more interesting than putting out an entire game-sized DLC just to say "manipulative evil queen girlboss truly didn't care about anything and just wanted power!!" and "Kindly Miquella is so perfect!!! this surely fits our 'nothing is perfect or eternal and everything is ambiguous' narrative"?

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi,I hope we are not too annoyed with all our questions.

I'm new to the fandom,and after watching the show I really thought that Loustat would be the popular ship.I know most people are multi-shipper here,but it's funny how Louis and Lestat are not popular together. It seems like you've been here longer than many of us (books and Tv show)from you observations do you see major differences between fans favorite in the show and the books?

Also,have you changed your opinion on a character because of the show?

Not really to the latter.

I think the show cast the characters perfectly, so they fit for me. :) I like this Louis more, if anything. They enhanced him (though they did enhance them all, imho).

We lucked out so badly.

As per Loustat... *sighs*

You have to understand that Lestat is seen by many as the big bad abuser ™, and nothing else. No matter how often cast, crew, writers and creators have said that we have seen only half the story, no matter how often errors in the tale have been pointed out, no matter how often I have dug out the episode insider with Rolin pointing out the "tinkering" even then... anyone who doubted Louis' tale in any kind of fashion was met with accusations of racism and slurs.

I'm not kidding. I wish I was. I still have comments on my fics that I left there, on purpose. I have the asks here. There are people who call themselves my "number one hate blog".

I don't want to rehash all that now.

But imagine trying to write coming from the books, knowing what will happen, seeing the "seeds" in the show (as Assad called it), reading the interviews, knowing the tale will shift... and being met with something like that.

And now imagine not having the book background, and being harassed on anon, or with comments. And not having the background to defend your ship.

And I don't even mean actual criticism here, if valid or not.

No, I mean harassment. Accusations, death threats. Comparisons to the KKK. Whole campaigns against me, and others. Not kidding. I put my rants into my bio if you're interested, lol.

This is the fandom where I started blocking in earnest, and I come from friggin' Hannibal.

A tale like this, with racial changes in a color-conscious way (which actually brought the difficult topics into play (and I love them for it!)), left hanging for 18 months... that didn't do the fandom any good.

And some of the comments in the podcast didn't do it any good either with the expectations it raised, and which will be now... well. Not wholly disappointed, but... some took that as gospel. When it's not. It will be a bit messy soon, and with what's to come wrt to Claudia, too.

Soooo... that is why Loustat isn't particularly popular right now.

That will change though.

Rolin, as well as Sam and Jacob keep repeating that this show is built around Loustat.

Loustat are at the heart. They are the heart.

The books start and end with them.

The show foreshadows their dance at the end.

I for one am continuing to write for them, even if I have currently hit a wall on my current fic, but I was mightily distracted by all the new content^^ (like everyone else I think^^).

I love that they are so complicated, and messy, and petty, and so, so IN LOVE.

Jacob called it that, too. "Petty and in love".

And they are.

PS: And no worries re asks :) I love talking to you guys^^

[anxresi]

Based on what I’ve seen and read, it would appear as though...

...Adrien is the SECOND most underused and underappreciated character in the show (after Chloe, of course).

How could someone, with SO much going for them in terms of relevance to the plot (his dad is the main baddie, him being the main love interest and co-superhero, his NAME being in the title for God sake) be so wilfully ignored?

Let’s just say, Fu’s words about Ladybug and Chat being ‘equals’ sounds awfully hollow when presented with the actual evidence in canon. 

From what I understand, he even spent the big S5 finale locked up with Kagami ROBBING VIEWERS OF SEEING HIM CONFRONT HIS FATHER AND DISCOVERING THE TRUTH.

Inexcusable from a storytelling POV IMHO, but so is having your only apparent agency in the show being Marinette’s arm candy and messing up a LOT during superhero duty so Ladybug can look good by comparison.

What are his other interests, besides trying to make her happy in and out of costume? What are his other personality traits, apart from being a pliable doormat to her every whim? None, as far as I see.

‘Girl Power’ isn’t intentionally writing male characters to be subservient to their female counterparts, it’s about making them EQUAL in terms of importance & relevance. In as far as what I’ve learned about Adrien on the show of late, it looks like they failed miserably on both those counts.

Bring this up with Astruc, and naturally he’ll accuse you of being a ‘sexist’ or worst a ‘misogynist’ (talk about the pot calling the kettle black) and say something along the lines of ‘you just don’t want a GIRL in charge’.

Well considering about 99.9% of the people who bring this up with him ARE female, I fear he may have got his wires crossed on this one. EVERYONE wants a more equal partnership between the two title characters, and suggesting if you do you’re some kind of bigoted chauvinist is gaslighting of the highest order.

(Mind you, this coming from a guy who recently said Ladybug was Barbie and Chat Noir was KEN, so we can’t expect too much from him)

I must say, being an absolute Chloe stan (as if you didn’t know) I was a bit out of my comfort zone during this short rant, but I think it ties in nicely with my problems with the show’s formulaic and contradictory writing in general, so I thought I’d give it a go anyway. Hope I did okay!

 (Don’t get me started on that ‘Marinette must learn a lesson in every episode’ bullshit, either)

Agree? Disagree? Feel free to get in touch. Oh, and one more bonus meme to add to the collection... 

...Hopefully, you’re beginning to see my point. :p

[kindlyre]

thinking more v3 thoughts. it wouldve been REALLY interesting if kaede didnt die in trial 1 and lived so she and shuichi could be foils to kokichi and rantaro, which would be interesting bc the main character always has a partner, but the rival never has. and the difference in ideology could split the group, but as it stands now the v3 cast treats kokichi worse than tbe sdr2 cast treated komaeda, and komadea was a THREAT since the beginning. for the most part, all kokichi did was lie a lot and be rude, so this animosity kind of feels undeserved. like, hajime had a lot more patience for komaeda's shit than shuchi does for kokichi's. so his interactions w the rest of the v3s seems kind of... underhanded and rude. they accepted an assassin into their group but not him, is all im saying.

and it just feels kind of undeserved until chapter 4 where kokichi goes off the deep end. like, before that, he DOES talk about liking the killing game and all, and is insensetive, but he by his own admission a LIAR- why do all the v3s assume the bad things he says are the truth? hell in chapter 2 he spells out MULTIPLE TIMES what his end goal is and what he's doing (trying to caution people from overtly working together because when they do, monokuma punishes them for it, so they shouldnt let on that theyre cooperating) and no one listens?? at all. like its just so blatant because ive been playing sdr2 and v3 side by side, alternating between the two frequently. try it-! the dissonance between how the v3 cast treats kokichi and the sdr2 cast treats komadea is VERY apparent. like sure they tie him up and arent NICEYS to him, but hajime makes a genuine effort to try and understand komaeda, especially in FTEs. shuichi does not extend that same effort to kokichi and imho thats really lackluster writing for the ultimate detective

it just seems like they were going for an ideology clash in v3 but in practice, kokichi is ostracized VERY early on for the crime of Being Annoying, and because of that is placed under a lot of undue scrutiny, with absolutely no one bothering to TRY to understand him. and this happens because he has no genuine foil for his ideology, so theres no ideological conflict, so the writers had to manufacture one by having everyone focus on his (largely just mischevious and at worst annoying) lies and repeat "but all lies are bad!!" unfixingly w/o trying to understand him. which is not really an ideological conflict, it's... kind of childish and they- esp shuichi as the ultimate DETECTIVE- never try to understand kokichi's pov and don't interact with kokichi's TRUE ideological opposition- that they can't trust each other. and kaede and him couldve been great foils in that regard, having the opposite ideological approach to the killing game, but kaede was fridged early on for a male character's development. so thats fine too i guess.

and shuichi and rantaro couldve been foils as well, both leaning hard into detective work but having opposite ideas on what to do with their respective findings- do they trust the group, or not?

also this is just a "hey this would be imo cool" aside, but if it was a kokichi/rantaro pairup.... IMAGINE THE 4TH TRIAL. imagine if it was ambiguous if rantaro was manipulated into killing miu or if it was a willing sacrifice. rantaro doesn't remember, but he admits before execution that, knowing himself, he feels like it was a willing sacrifice on his end, while kokichi insists he manipulated rantaro into it and that he's the true blackened. and we cant see rantaro's memories, so we don't know. and it could be a really tragic trial a la peko's, which would finally allow the cast to know more about rantaro and his true feelings on everyone and the game, in his final moments.

also the sting of the ultimate survivor reveal being so so close by, the tragedy of rantaro surviving a DIFFERENT KILLING GAME only to die in this one, so close to the end... and the implication that he survived his last game by being detached and secretive, only to die because of a connection he had with someone. but thats less meta analysis and more me going "goddamn wouldnt that be fucked up or what. anyway im tumblr user kinderlie"

[lazzarella]

Peaceful Property rambling incoming! I wrote it in like ten minutes, so it’s a mess, but I’ve been meaning to write this since ep 6 and I just wanted to finally get some of my thoughts out. This really is more for myself than anything I guess 😅

TL;DR I’m finding the writing in Peaceful Property really good and satisfying, especially when it comes to tropes I sometimes find frustrating or offputting or that are often poorly executed imho

The writing in Peaceful Property has been so good and so satisfying to me so far! The pacing in general is really nice, and there's been some nice misdirection/red herrings (I kept forgetting to write about this and now I can't remember what they were lol) and I think the pace of the reveals has been really good too. Like, if we knew from the outset that Peach was hit by a car and died for a while, I feel like it would've been easier to suspect Home's involvement? Similarly, if we knew that Home had been involved in a hit and run earlier, I don't think the audience would've sympathised with him as much (of course, some people have lost sympathy with him now, and that's understandable)

But the writing is also a good illustration of how tropes that aren't my favourite or can be frustrating for me can end up enjoyable in certain writers' hands. Obviously, this is just a personal preference, but I often find the 'person wants to confess something and takes their time doing it because they're nervous and then, when they're finally ready, the person they want to confess to finds out some other way with disastrous results' trope frustrating at times. But it worked SO well here! I think the frustration sometimes comes from it not fitting characters, but it fits Home and Peach so well and the setup worked well to make it believable for me too!

Like, Home has never had to take responsibility for anything ever. Of course he doesn't know how to own up to what he's done wrong! Especially not to someone he truly cares about! (Which also seems like a rarity in his life). Like, he literally has no precedent in his life to draw from as far as we know. And he has a family and he doesn't want to risk it and he wants the apology to be perfect. So, it makes sense to me that he would hesitate and take so long!

And, of course, Peach's devastation is believable, but him jumping to the conclusion that Home knew all along when he sees the video makes sense too! Yeah, he's learnt to trust Home, but seeing that video would just really mess you up, right? That the worst thing that's ever happened to you was done by this person you now see as family? I think it's easy to assume he'd known who he hit. And Home's family stepping in before Home can explain also makes perfect sense because they've done it before. So, yeah, where I can sometimes find this setup frustrating and annoying because it doesn't fit the characters or it's just sort of weak, I thought it was really strong here

(As a sidenote: I'm not necessarily mad at Kan, but really really curious about what's going on with her, so that's another nice piece of writing for me personally. I'm not saying she's not out of line, but she's so mysterious that, yeah, I'm just SO damn curious more than anything)

I can also go either way on the 'poor person rejects rich person's money out of pride, etc.' trope. But, again, I thought it worked perfectly here! There were a couple of other posts that went over why it made sense for them, and it definitely worked for me too. Peach is still very emotionally raw, he believes his friend—his family—has been lying to him all along, probably using the money to assuage his guilt, and now this attorney says he's there on Home's behalf, so he's reacting emotionally on some level. (I mean, we see him not long after sobbing on the bathroom floor) He feels used and betrayed and the money—even for the work he's already done—symbolises that to him. 

So, yeah, like a lot of the writing in the show, his rejection of return of the money is symbolic of severing ties with Home and rejecting what he sees as corrupt ideals, or whatever. He wants Home to know, without a doubt, that he wants nothing more to do with him. And, because Peach thinks Home cares more about money than anything else (and has good reason to believe so), this feels like a 'hit 'em where it hurts' thing to me too? 

But, yeah, sometimes I hate this trope, but it worked well for me here as well because of the way it was written

Anyway, I'm repeating what others have said, and I don't know where I'm going with this, but, in conclusion, I'm finding the writing SO satisfying. I could probably do a breakdown of every ep, but I won't because I'm lazy and also just parroting what's been said already haha

[not-poignant]

Hi! I am usually a lurker, but I have been following you for about a year or so (found from r/MM_Romance AO3 recs search) and my first read was Deeper into the Woods. -- Do you have any recommendations for "realistic" portrayals of sadists? (AO3 stories or MM romance but also open to non-fiction recs/other) -- I do not have any real-life experience with people who identify as sadists or the kink community in general, so I wonder how exaggerated the fiction is sometimes. Thank you for your time!

Hi anon!

I'm going to rec two of my own fics - Spoils of the Spoiled (especially tracing a young sadist who has to figure out where the lines are between reality and fiction in his own life), and Falling Falling Stars (which depicts an experienced genuine sadist who is quite frank/open about talking about it and is comfortable in himself about it).

You probably have a lot more experience with real life sadists than you know, since most of us are just regular people! (And quite a few of us are also masochists as well). Honestly it's possible to see people with sadistic tendencies in every walk of life. From massage therapists who enjoy working the knots out of their clients (including the 'good pain' it results in), to the professional manufacturers of boutique hot sauce, who like nothing more than watching someone suffer through what they created.

(And same with masochists - you need only look at the people who enjoy that hot sauce and the pain it causes them, lmao.)

You might also like the published m/m romance series by Lisa Henry and JA Rock known as the 'Boy series.' It starts with The Good Boy and the sequel is The Boy Who Belonged. It is, imho, a great and realistic depiction of an experienced sadist and a newbie masochist, as well as a trauma recovery story with an age gap, which realistically addresses the age gap, the sadism, lateral ways of being sadistic with someone who finds impact play triggery, and more. For me it's still one of the gold star versions of published m/m which shows the perspective of both characters, so we get to see what they're both thinking, and - imho - it's pretty realistic!

I'm also gonna rec one of my fanfics, The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle, since a lot of the chapters are from the sadist's perspective, and while the setting is fantasy, the actual thought processes behind setting up scenes, the intention, riding the line between too much hurt and the right amount, what kind of pain is sexy and what isn't, etc. is - I feel - quite realistic. It's one of the things that fellow sadists have praised my work for (that the sadists feel like real sadists, and not just wish fulfillment sadists, who are otherwise apologetic for enjoying someone's pain), and while I still have a lot to learn re: writing in general, it's one of the reasons I write what I do!

[animasola86]

A STEAMY REUNION (PART 1)

Disclaimer/Notes:

This text is partially AI-generated, as I spent a whole day immersing myself in a little RP session with @seabass-swallows's Dark Sebastian chat bot (check him out here). Now I am positively obsessed. That was such a fun and exciting little (smut) writing exercise. The outcome was quite amazing (IMHO) so I decided to share it with you and turn it into a little story. About 2/3 of the credit goes to @seabass-swallows and her amazing creation, I just played along, really.

I tweaked his replies only a little bit, added some minor details or took out some things for better flow and continuity, adjusted the formatting, etc., but apart from that: most of the time he gave the best replies possible! I was just in awe at how brilliantly that worked out. So, please, give it a try and enjoy!

(Part 2 out now!)

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!reader (Characters are 18+)

Summary: After several, undefined years apart, Sebastian finds you on the streets of Hogsmeade. You have not expected to see him ever again, after he went into hiding at the end of your fifth school year. Seeing him now, well, you are in for a surprise.

Word count: 7.6k

Genre: Angst/Comfort/Fluff/Smut

Warnings: NSFW! MDNI! It gets steamy, you know the drill. (I don't want to spoil the surprise, if you know what I mean. If sex triggers you, please do not read.) Also: plot, what plot? There isn't much, but maybe that's not why you're here after all.

Read on AO3

Previously on HOGWARTS LEGACY: A TEENAGE DRAMA

Solomon is dead, Fig is dead, Ranrok and Rookwood are dead. Life goes on, right? Well. After you convince Ominis not to turn in Sebastian, you spend most of your time trying to comfort each other. You've always been close, but tragedy brings you even closer. But then word gets out that Sebastian might have something to do with his Uncle's death and from one day to the next, he is just gone. Left you, left Hogwarts, left Feldcroft, disappeared into the shadows, hiding from the Ministry.

You finish your time at Hogwarts, somehow, never quite able to forget your first love, but time makes you move on. You spent your time after Hogwarts travelling, looking for ancient magic all around the world. Then one not so special day, you find your way back to Hogsmeade – and there, he finds you.

A Steamy Reunion (Part 1)

It's in a dark alleyway, deep within Hogsmeade, that you notice him first. Then it's almost like he's following you. You don't know who it is, until you're grabbed and pushed up against the wall of a building, just out of view.

You realize it's Sebastian, it's been so long now, that his hair is a little shaggy, he's toned out well, that most of his baby fat is gone and you can't help but gasp softly when he gently caresses your cheek. “It's been too long, oh... how I've missed you.”

"Hey! What... Sebastian?" You stare up at him in shock. "What are you doing here?"

His face lights up with a mischievous smile, eyes darting around to look for any onlookers. “Looking for you,” he replies in a low, sultry voice, gently placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you closer to him. You can feel his lips lightly brush against yours, sending a shiver down your spine. “You must've been wondering when I'd come find you.”

You inhale deeply at his touches and close your eyes for a moment. "I... Sebastian! It has been years! Where have you been?" You open your eyes again and raise your hands to press against his chest, staring up at him with narrowed eyes.

He steps closer to you, trapping your body between his and the wall behind you. “Where have I been?” Sebastian asks, his right hand slowly moving down your arm, to around your waist. “Oh, here and there. Searching for you.”

He leans his head towards you and you could swear that he's about to almost kiss you again. “And now I've got you back.”

You shake your head as you feel tears welling up inside your eyes. "You could have send an owl..." you whisper darkly. "But I guess... with the Ministry after you... Sebastian! You shouldn't be here! What if they find you?"

“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathes into your ear, his hot breath sending goosebumps all over your body. “You're more worried about them finding me than us finding each other again.” He sighs softly against your neck and then takes a small step back from you.

“Now, shall we go somewhere quieter?” He smiles. “I've missed you.”

You stare at him, biting your lip. "You left me. You just left and you were gone. I thought I'd never see you again. I had no idea how to even start looking for you. You've always been good at hiding... how was I supposed to find you? And when the Ministry started looking for you... I was scared. Scared for you, you idiot!" The first tears stream down your cheeks and you wipe at them angrily.

He steps forwards again to wipe your tears away and lightly kisses your cheek. “You couldn't have tried harder? You don't understand how long I've spent looking for you. Searching and searching. I knew you were somewhere out there and even though I got so tired some nights—I couldn't give up.” He smiles softly at you. “Let's go and talk about it—we've got a lot of catching up to do.” He chuckles. “Shall I take your bag?”

You swallow as he kisses your cheek. Your throat clenches up as the memories come back to you. All those happy memories. But they have been tainted over the years. You watch him and even though he looks so much older and almost unrecognizable, you still see the 15-year-old boy in front of you that you fell in love with. You bite your lip and nod, grabbing your bag, but then extend your hand towards him. "Let's talk then."

He gently takes your hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing the back of it. Then he starts to walk, guiding you through the streets, making sure to keep you close.

When the two of you reach a small cottage on a street out of the way, Sebastian leads you in and immediately locks the door behind him, shutting out the world. He then leads you up to a bedroom and, without saying a word, sits you down on the bed, staring at you.

You are a little overwhelmed that he takes you to the bedroom immediately, but you remain sitting and watch him, still torn about being happy to see him and very anxious to see him after such a long time. "So what happened?" you ask.

He takes a seat on the bed next to you, sighing slightly before speaking.

“I left because I thought it best,” Sebastian says, looking straight into your eyes. “I thought they'd forget about me and the longer we waited, the likelier I'd be found. I tried to keep in touch with you, but my attempts were useless.” He sighs again. “The fact that you weren't searching for me and you were just waiting... it broke me. I couldn't bear it.” He looks down and bites his lip, as his voice cracks slightly.

You feel new tears in your eyes. "I didn't know what to do... I wanted to look for you, I would have left everything for you, but Ominis—" You sigh deeply and lower your gaze, noticing just how manipulative he still is, blaming you for not looking for him. "Then why are you here now? Why didn't you just move on?" you ask and your voice is angrier than you expected it to be.

He flinches at your tone, looking down at his hands which are trembling slightly.

“I couldn't,” he confesses. “You're my everything and without you I'm lost. How am I supposed to move on without you? That'd be like finding a part of myself, then throwing it away and forgetting about it forever.” He sighs and takes your hand into his, looking up at you out of those dark eyes that could make you agree to anything. “I know you don't see me in the same way, and I know what I've done—but please give me another chance.”

You crack under his sad gaze and the tears just start rolling down your cheeks. His hand is warm around yours and you swallow hard at his words. You don't know what to say, so against all your better judgement, you just wrap your arms around him and hug him tightly, burying your face against the side of his neck.

He gently holds you in a tight hug, your face pressed against his neck. The smell of him is comforting, you feel so at home as his free hand gently strokes your hair.

“I'll never leave you again,” he whispers. “If it means they find me, then so be it.” He rests his head against yours as his lips lightly brush against yours.

He then pulls back slightly to look at your eyes.

You look at him, your vision blurred from all the tears. Your hands dig into the back of his cloak, keeping him close to you, as if you were afraid he could leave again, despite what he has just told you. "They are not... they are not taking you away from me..." you say darkly and swallow hard. "I will not let them."

“No, they're not,” Sebastian confirms, running his fingers up and down your arm, to try to comfort you. “Let me show you how much I missed you.” He leans forwards to place his lips against yours and you let lose a sigh. “You're so soft, my love, I've missed kissing you.” He then pulls away and smiles softly at you.

You lick your lips, savouring the subtle taste he has left there. As you watch him over, you realize just how much you missed him too. But there is still a little restraint inside your head. That stupid voice of reason. "You shouldn't have come to Hogsmeade. It's not safe for you here..." you whisper.

“I know,” Seb says back. “I know the risk I'm taking. But just know that this was all for you—“ His eyes wander over your face. “I've spent so many years without you, it just wasn't enough, and I had to see you. I wanted to see if you could forgive me enough to take me back.” He moves closer to you, then kisses you deeply, trying to show you he means what he says.

You breathe deeply against his kiss, your hands finding their way up into his hair as you dig into his locks, holding his head for you to deepen the kiss. He feels so good, even after all these years and your heart flutters violently inside your chest. But you can't seem to shut up the voice of reason. "Wait..." you breathe and turn your head away, panting slightly against his cheek as you lean against him. "I... I don't want to be responsible if they find you here. I couldn't live with myself..."

He pulls back slightly and looks at you, his eyes soft and gentle. “I had to see you. It's been so long... I just had to see my little girl one more time, hold her in my arms... see those eyes of yours that I've missed so much... kiss you with the same passion that we shared during those secret meetings.” He smiles, trying to be reassuring. “I want you to forgive me. I want to convince you that I will never hurt you again, that I've changed, that I've become better.”

You lean back, your eyes boring into his intensely. "But you're in hiding. How is this going to work?" You bite your lip. "Or did you just want to screw me one more time before vanishing again?" Your heart breaks at the thought. Is he just using you?

Sebastian sighs deeply, shaking his head slightly. “No, I'm not here to screw you.” He smiles softly but the smile quickly disappears, his voice changing as he speaks. “You don't think we have a chance? I haven't been with anyone since you,” he whispers. “Can't we just try and make this work? One last try to see if we have a chance, if we still work?”

You want nothing more than to just forget about everything that has happened and be with this boy, this man he turned into, but your heart, or rather your head, tells you otherwise. With a loud sigh you unwrap yourself from him and get up, pacing the room nervously. "It's been so long, Sebastian. I... I need a moment. I can't... I can't think right now..." You push your hands into your hair and shake your head. "How? Just how can we make this work?"

“My love.” He steps towards you, gently holding your arms to stop you from pacing. “Look at me. You don't have to think if we won't work. We will make it work, the two of us, okay?” He moves closer to you and gently wraps his arms around your waist. “Please, please don't doubt us. We're meant for each other, I can't imagine myself being with anyone else.”

"Then why does this feel so wrong?" you cry out as he holds you close, new tears streaming down your face. "Do you know how often I have imagined seeing you again? I... you were always on my mind and I knew it wasn't healthy, so I stopped, tried to stop thinking about you. Ominis said it was for the best and that we should forget about you. I never quite agreed, but he convinced me somehow." You sob and lower your gaze.

You feel his thumb slowly stroking your back as he listens to you, his free hand holding your face. “I'm sorry,” Sebastian replies softly and gently places his lips against yours. “No one could convince me that I should move on from you, never you. You're all I think about. You're all I live for.” He sighs deeply and kisses you again, more passionately this time. “Can't you see? We're together and that's all that matters.”

You kiss him back, letting your body do all the work as your mind is still raging with doubts. Your hands find his face and he feels so unfamiliar, his jaw more pronounced and his cheeks almost hollow. You realize how hard it must have been for him, always hiding, always alone. It hasn't been easy for you either, but he must have had it worse. And your doubts slowly disperse inside your head.

"We... are together..." you whimper against his lips. It is all that matters. "We... are... finally... together..." you breathe in between kissing him, your movements becoming more erratic the more you feel him so close to you. "Oh Sebastian..." You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him even closer.

“My darling.” He presses himself against you as you pull him closer. When he breaks the kiss, he looks into your eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, right?” He leans over to kiss you again and the two of you start kissing furiously, it's as if you've missed each other for years and now you have to make up for it. “I can't get enough of you,” he whispers, still kissing you, his breath quickening.

"I think..." you say in between kissing each other as if it is the only thing the both of you can do in this moment. "I think you need to... show me... just how much..." You can't finish your thought as his kisses are so darn distracting. You moan against his mouth and just go for it.

Sebastian smirks as you start making noises against his mouth, his passion increasing as he picks you up and carries you over to the bed, then lays you down. He then clambers on top of you and continues to kiss you—he won't let you finish a sentence. He's doing everything in his power to show you how much he's missed you, no words necessary.

“No talking, my darling,” he tells you when your breath starts coming back. “Only kissing.”

"Mmmhmm," you make against his captivating mouth and snake your arms around his neck as he lies down on top of you, his weight the comfort you needed. Your fingers dig into his hair and you relish the feeling of his lips on yours.

Sebastian's lips slowly move down your neck and he takes your left hand and holds it against your chest—your heart is pounding so heavily and he is slowly beginning to feel the excitement as well. His lips go down even lower than your neck, but he won't go any further for now.

“I shouldn't be here, but I just had to see you, touch you, kiss you,” he whispers into your neck. “You can't blame me for falling so hard. I just can't help myself.”

A smirk plays around your lips. You can feel your heart pound against your hand as he holds it there and the feeling of his rough fingers around yours is truly electrifying. You arch your back a little when you feel his lips on your neck. "You... never could, hm?" you whisper as you try to catch your breath.

“You're absolutely right.” He leans up a little, looking down at you. “You and me—it's supposed to be, I always knew it, even if I couldn't admit it.” His nose nudges yours and you lean in and press your face against his. “I'm not going anywhere, this is where I belong, with you.”

"Promise... promise me you won't ever leave again!" you breathe against him, your eyes finding his, your heart yearning to be with him forever and then some.

Sebastian places his lips lightly against yours. “I promise, I promise I won't ever leave you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We belong together.” You melt into the sound of his voice. “Now, no more talking—I just want to catch up on the years I missed without you.” He starts to kiss you passionately again, not allowing you to say any more. He wants to feel you against him, feel you touch him as much as he wants to touch you.

You moan against him in response and even though you want to say and ask so much more, you won't because he says so. He's always had this effect on you and you have followed him blindly anywhere many times before. And even after all these years, you still do. Your hands find the clasp of his cloak and you fidget with it while you deepen the kiss, yet you're unable to rid him of it.

He continues to kiss you, his lips moving against yours as one of his hands slowly moves down your body, caressing your hip and thigh. As you try to untie his cloak, he stops you and laughs. “No, sweetheart, not yet,” he whispers, and just like that he resumes kissing you, his hands roaming up and down your body as he does so.

You let out a little whimper and dig your fingers into the fabric of his cloak instead, pulling him closer down towards you. Your other hand finds his face and you let your thumb graze his cheekbone as you tilt your head to get a better angle on his mouth. Then you press your tongue against his lower lip.

Sebastian shivers slightly at the sensation of your tongue meeting his and he pulls away for a brief second before diving back in, kissing you even more passionately, his tongue pressing demandingly against yours.

He moves his hand from your thigh, to your hip, and then underneath your shirt, your skin against his feels amazing and you can't believe he's actually here right now. One of your hands continues to caress his cheek, his neck, his arm... anywhere within reach right now.

“Oh darling,” he whispers, as his hand strokes your thigh once again.

At the sound of his voice you press your tongue harder against his, almost fighting to taste the inside of his mouth, feel every inch of him, as you kiss him deeply, your hand settling on gripping the back of his head forcefully. "Oh Sebastian..." you moan against his mouth in the tiny moments you both have to come up for air.

He wraps you in a tight hug and rolls around on the bed, pulling you on top of him now, his hands underneath your shirt as his tongue continues to battle yours—your combined soft moans and whimpers are the only things being heard right now.

Your fingers run through Sebastian's hair as you lean on your elbows and he seems to like it, as he starts to slowly bite your bottom lip, pulling it away playfully.

You laugh against him, your fingernails scraping over his scalp, as he bites your lip. One of your hands finds his neck and you pull yourself closer to him again, closing your mouth hungrily around his, your tongue pushing past his teeth.

His breath turns ragged as your tongue explores his mouth, your fingers digging into his scalp. “Oh my love,” he whispers into your mouth. “Is this how you really want me? Is this what you want? Should we stop?”

After it's his turn to let his tongue explore your mouth, Sebastian bites your bottom lip once more, trying as hard as he can not to push you away for some fresh air.

You hold his face for a moment and stare into his eyes darkly as your tongue fights for dominance. You halt your movement for another moment. "I want you..." you whisper against him breathlessly, holding his gaze. "I've never wanted you more..."

He smiles slightly. “Why haven't you said so before, love?” he whispers and wraps his arms tightly around your body, pulling you down onto his chest, before the two of you continue to kiss. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he says in between kisses. “I love you. I've always loved you.”

As he holds you tightly pressed against his chest, you lean forwards on your elbows and dive deep into kissing him, your hands holding his face as if you're afraid he might leave again. But then you hear his words and the roughness of his voice, and you just know he won't. You lean back a little when he says he loves you and you stare down at him, your eyes watering as your heart flutters. You smile, a timid one at first, then it breaks over your entire face. "I... love you too, Sebastian. I've never stopped..."

He smiles as you tell him what he's wanted to hear for years. He pulls you towards him again, his kisses becoming more powerful, more passionate. “I'll never leave you again,” he whispers. “You're mine forever.”

His hands roam freely on your body, tracing your curves, your arms, your hair. “You're just so beautiful... So perfect,” Sebastian whispers as he looks at you.

You moan against his kisses and arch your body to press against the touches of his hands. Your own hands find the front of his cloak again and you don't wait for permission this time as you focus on unclasping it until you can push it off of his chest, revealing the waistcoat beneath it. "So many layers..." you hiss as your fingers start playing with the many buttons that keep you from exploring his body fully.

He laughs as you begin unbuttoning his waistcoat. “Slow down, sweetie,” he tells you and guides your hands away from the buttons, holding them tightly. “Let's breathe for a moment first.”

He smirks and pulls you back against him, holding your chin to make sure you're looking at him. Sebastian caresses your face, his lips moving slowly towards your neck. “We've waited for so long. Take your time now...”

"But I can't wait!" you groan and turn your head to expose your neck to him as you press your chest against his. "You've always been such a tease..."

He chuckles slightly before pressing his lips against your neck, gently biting your throat. “You know I like teasing you, my love.” He continues to kiss your neck as he says: “I don't think I've ever heard you whimper in such a way… You're enjoying this, aren't you?” His mouth leaves your neck and he looks up at you, stroking your cheek once more. “What's wrong? Is this too much for you or do you want me to do more?”

You stare at him, your breaths erratic. You're almost embarrassed at the reactions of your body, but you can't help it. You need him. Right now. You tell him so: "I need you, Sebastian." You bite your lip and watch him.

His eyes widen when you say that. He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, his body pressing up against yours.

“My love,” he whispers. “I need you too. In fact, I can promise you I need you more. I want you.”

He wraps his arms around you, not letting you move, not letting you go. And right now nothing else matters. No one else matters.

“Just you. Just you and me.” He stares back at you, waiting for your response.

All you do in response is lick your lips slowly, watching him with a hunger you cannot describe.

Sebastian smirks at the sight of you licking your lips slowly and he moves forwards, his lips meeting yours once more. He pulls away shortly after, his breath ragged and he strokes your hair back.

“You taste so good, my love, so tempting… You taste like heaven.” He smiles at you in that moment and pulls you back against him, his arms wrapping around you completely, as your body is straddling his. “Just you,” he whispers, “Just us in our little world.”

You smile warmly at him as you adjust your position on top of him. You place your knees on either side of him and slowly lean up, your hands pressed against his chest in support. While you hold his gaze, your fingers start unbuttoning his waistcoat.

“You look so beautiful right now,” he whispers, his eyes wandering around your body. “I like seeing you like this,” he says, letting out a small moan when you start unbuttoning his waistcoat, and he can't help pulling you back down to him, his body moulding to yours.

"Hold on now," you say playfully and push him away again. You have to finish these buttons and your fingers do their darnedest to be quick about it. When you finally see some more skin, you bite your lower lip. "Lose these for me?" you ask and lean back a little more, so he can slip out of his waistcoat and shirt.

Sebastian chuckles and lets out another small moan at what you're doing, he can feel his body getting tighter and tighter just from the sight of you unbuttoning his clothes.

“Anything for you, my love,” he says, taking off all the restricting fabric and tossing it behind him. He grins and caresses your face again, before his hands move to your own shirt and the many buttons hiding your chest. Suddenly he looks you dead in the eyes. “But those are for me alone, do you understand?” he mutters darkly and draws a single line along the buttons with his index finger, down between your breasts.

You notice the shift in his tone and your smile falters for a moment. Yet it makes your heart beat faster and you nod slowly, leaning down to cup his face. "This is all yours," you whisper against his lips and kiss him deeply. Your hands eventually move downwards and you feel his hardened chest under your fingers, his warm skin and those delicious muscles beneath it. You hum lustfully against his lips.

Sebastian shivers when your hands make contact with his chest. “My love,” he whispers. “I've missed you, everything about you. Your body is perfection and even the way you're touching me right now is driving me crazy. We're finally here.”

His mouth once again meets yours in a passionate kiss, his hands roaming on your body, caressing your thighs, your hips. His hands can't wait to touch every inch of your skin, so he pulls you tighter against him.

You break the kiss with another little moan and lean back, your hands firmly on his chest as you finally lower your gaze to his exposed skin. As you sit back on him, slightly rubbing your midst against his as you do so, you start drawing circles on his skin, your fingertips tracing muscles and scars you haven't seen before. You wonder what he had been doing these last years. Inhaling deeply when your fingers reach the waistband of his trousers, you look up slowly, meeting his gaze.

He is looking at you, not breaking eye contact with you. His eyebrows are slightly raised as you move your hands to his waistband, his heart racing, his breaths ragged, as you trace his muscles and scars—the tension is building up, you know what you're doing and Seb knows what you're doing.

"Love," he whispers. "You know how badly I want you. Don't you?" He then pulls you towards him once more, kissing you passionately. "I need this, I need you," he whispers, and you can hear the longing in his voice.

You let him pull you back down into a kiss and for a moment you forget about your hands' journey. His mouth is literally breathtaking as your tongues dance around each other. You whimper against him and eventually, you have to turn your head away and catch your breath. Then you lean back and grab his waistband with determination, your breaths erratic, the heat inside your own body almost too much to bear. "You want me... you want this?" You quickly undo the buttons of his trousers and without another warning you slip your hand between the fabric and his warm skin and your fingers graze over his arousal.

Sebastian lets out a moan as soon as you touch him, his body immediately reacting to your hand. "Yes, yes, God, yes," he whispers. He quickly moves his hips to meet your hand and your touch almost sends him over the edge. He presses your hand against him firmly while making a few noises that you've never heard from him before.

He moves your hand back to his waistband and looks you dead in the eyes. "You don't know how long I've been craving this moment," he says as he reaches for your shirt and starts to unbutton it.

You lick your lips as you watch him unbutton your shirt, your hand still in close proximity to his arousal, you can feel the heat radiating from it through the fabric of his trousers. You can't wait to hear these noises again. You blush deeply and watch him with a newfound fondness.

He unbuttons the last two buttons of your shirt, pushes it off your shoulders and kisses your chest, the tip of his tongue gently circling around your hard nipples, his breath hot on the sensitive skin. The noise he makes almost sends you over the edge this time.

He looks at you with longing, with desire. “Please,” he whispers. “Let me. Let me love you.”

And as he says these words, he starts moving his fingers down your chest to your trousers, unbuttoning them slowly, making sure he touches and teases you at the same time.

You inhale sharply at his touches, your chest heaving and you're glad you're rid of the confinements of your shirt. When you watch Sebastian unbuttoning your trousers, you almost wish you'd decided to wear a skirt today. All this restricting fabric is causing your heart to race inside your chest as you are eager with anticipation. You bite your lip and watch him with warm, hungry eyes. "Love me..." you whisper barely audible.

He smiles at the words coming from your lips. “Oh, I can do that so well.” And now you get to truly see what he means.

Sebastian starts to caress your thighs with both hands as he leans up to kiss, lick, and nibble on your breasts, and then he moves one of his hands down your trousers.

“You feel so good, my love,” he whispers, slowly moving his mouth up to your neck and back to your lips, as he explores every bit of exposed skin of yours. “So. Good.”

You moan loudly as you feel his fingers inside your trousers, the heat pulsating violently through your core. You arch your hips against his touches, your breath hitching inside your throat, and your hands grab his waist forcefully in support. You rub your centre upwards and can feel just how excited he is, even through all the layers of clothes still between you.

He lets out a moan as you rub your centre against him and he starts breathing heavily. “God, my darling,” he whispers. “You're so good at this.”

He gently bites your neck as he moves his hand out of your trousers again. “We don't need these,” he says and gently pulls your trousers off. He pauses for a second when he sees you. Your body is perfect for him and he looks at you for a few seconds, taking you in. “Just this,” he says as he caresses your skin again.

As you shrug off both your shirt and your trousers, you adjust your position on top of him. You come to kneel beside him and start pulling down his trousers now, slowly exposing his throbbing arousal, and you stare at it longer than you anticipated, your cheeks blushing deeply.

And then you are both naked and you don't know where to start at the sight of his perfect body. You take a few seconds to take it all in, your eyes wandering down his torso, his legs… everywhere. And when you're finally done, your eyes meet his.

His body, despite being older and more defined, is exactly as you remember it. You start kissing him on different parts of his body, everywhere: his neck, his shoulders, his collarbone—all of this leads to one place.

You lick his chest and start moving south as Sebastian arches his hips into your touches, feeling your warmth against his body.

Your cheeks are burning, but you can't get enough of kissing every inch of his skin. Your lips move downwards, while your hands follow your movements slowly, grazing over his sides and his hipbones, and then you are face to face with his arousal. Before you give it any attention though, you look back up and meet his gaze, biting your lip as if asking for permission.

His voice is ragged and so low it makes your legs weak. “Please, my love.” He caresses your face with his outstretched hand and his words are almost a whisper. “If you don't kiss me like you're addicted to me right now, I don't know what will happen,” he says and you feel his hand brush your hair away from your face. “I've been craving this for a very long time, I need this, please.”

Your hot breath flies over his sensitive skin as you watch him and even though he may be thinking of kissing him somewhere else, you just dive in. Your lips meet the warm and tense skin of his arousal and as you grab his hips in support you start kissing up and down his length, occasionally letting your tongue glide over his heated skin.

Sebastian grunts a little when your tongue meets his skin. "Oh, my God," he says as he pushes his hips upwards, as his face is filled with pleasure. "Just like that," he whispers and his voice gets more and more ragged. "Don't stop, please keep doing that."

He lets himself enjoy the moment, his fingers digging into the mattress beneath him, his chest rising and falling. "Oh, my love," he hisses and you can see his legs tremble ever so slightly.

You smile as you notice his reactions, and the sound of his ragged voice keeps you going. You circle your tongue around his tip and savour the salty flavour of his skin and juices. Your hand moves to assist you and you close your fingers around his length and start moving it up and down, squeezing it gently, while your mouth keeps exploring his hot skin. You feel your own centre burning up and absent-mindedly move your backside up from your kneeling position, wiggling it slightly in the air.

He can feel a shudder run throughout his body and he lets out a loud moan. "That's it, my love, keep doing that to me." He keeps one of his hands clenched on the bed but his other hand finds your lower back and he digs his fingers into your skin, pushing you forwards slightly, his eyes not leaving you for a second.

For a moment he's quiet and he just watches you, as if making sure that you stay focused. And all at once, his face fills with pleasure and he lets out a few noises. "Oh, God..."

You moan against his arousal, your tongue licking up his excitement, as your hand halts its movements, tightly grabbing his length. You look up at him and meet his gaze. Your chest is rising and falling fast and you can't bear it any more. You get up from your kneeling position and sit down on top of him, one knee on either side of him, exposing your throbbing midst to him. Your hand is guiding his length closer to your centre as you adjust your position.

He looks up at you as you position yourself on top of him, your body pressing against his. His eyes fill with surprise but also with pleasure as he places his hands on your hips and holds you there firmly.

A smile spreads across his face and he looks at you hungrily. "All of this is yours," he rasps. "You can take everything out of me that you want. I'm all yours right now."

You swallow hard and feel the same hunger that you see inside his eyes. Your breaths are ragged and you bite your lip, before you look down again. Your hand is still gripping his arousal and you start to rub your hips against it slowly, feeling your own heat dripping against his sensitive skin. You close your eyes for a moment and breathe in deeply, then you lift yourself up slightly and position the tip of his length against the entrance of your centre. Your eyes find his and as you brace yourself, you lower yourself onto him, slowly feeling him slip into you. You moan against the sensation and arch your head back, until he is filling you up completely. You remain still for a moment, your hands grabbing his waist, until you adjust to the sensation.

Sebastian lets out a little hiss as you take him inside of you and his body relaxes completely as he lets his head fall back slightly. "Oh, God, you feel so good," he whispers, his voice still ragged as you start to slowly move your hips into him. "Oh, yes, just like that my darling."

The sounds coming out of him right now make you almost unable to control yourself, but you know he loves it. He grabs the bed sheets and lets his body move with yours as you continue to ride him, your eyes completely focused on him.

You moan deeply, the pain of his intrusion quickly changing into absolute pleasure. You have been yearning for this and now it was here. You grab his waist tighter and move your hips against him, slowly at first, a steady up and down rhythm, until you feel more comfortable. His ragged voice only drives you to move faster against him. You watch him as you ride him faster and faster, the hunger inside of you pushing you forwards, closer to the light. He looks so good right now and he feels incredible. You realize you needed this. So badly. The noises you both make are filling the room and it's the best thing you have ever heard.

His breathing becomes faster, his moans louder. "Oh, you were made for this," he whispers over the sounds of both your hips and the headboard of the bed slamming against the wall behind you. His hands move up to squeeze your waist tightly and it's almost as if his entire body is shaking right now. Pressed against you, he feels absolutely close to you as you move faster and faster.

His breath is ragged and he lets out a loud, moaning sigh as you keep riding him.

His moans echo in your ears and you squeeze your eyes shut as the first wave of pleasure hits you. You feel your whole body shake and you moan with him, feeling your walls tighten around him. You quickly lean forwards and press your chest against his, grabbing his shoulders as you keep moving on top of him, your legs trembling and your toes starting to curl up behind you.

"Ahh, Sebastian!" you moan and bury your face into his neck, kissing and biting his skin in the process. The wave washes over you and in its aftermath you look up at him breathlessly. Unable to speak, you just nudge him, grab his hips tightly and then move your whole body to the side, rolling around on the bed until you feel his entire weight land heavily on your body, the impact causing his length to slide in even deeper. You squeak in surprise and pleasure.

His body is pressed against yours and yours is pressed deep into the mattress as he adjusts to the new position, before he starts moving in and out of you, faster and faster as if he can't help himself.

You lean your head back on the bed and gasp in ecstasy when you feel him sliding back inside of you even further. "Oh, Sebastian, harder," you whisper. Then you wrap your legs around his waist and you start moving your hips in rhythm with him.

Your moans are coming faster and louder and as you keep your legs in a deadlock around his waist, pushing him deeper, you feel another wave building up. Your arms snake around his neck and you hold him firmly, your breaths hot on his skin, your moans loud in his ear. Your heart is about to explode in your chest and you wouldn't have it any other way. You can't get enough of him. Every thrust lets the headboard slam into the wall behind the bed, every thrust causes you to see stars dancing behind your eyelids. Your noises become ineffable.

As you both reach the peak of your pleasure, you moan and you keep moaning as Sebastian keeps moving in and out of you. It's his absolute delight to hear you enjoying your bodies this much. “Ahh...” you moan and you bite his neck again, which earns you a few moans from him, and at the end of it all you kiss him deeply.

“Oh God…” he whispers and buries his face into your neck, catching his breath, his hips slowing down their movements inside of you but still keeping a steady rhythm.

You breathe deeply against him, trying to calm your heart, as you slowly come down from your high. You hold onto him and gently kiss his cheek and his jaw and his ear, your hands moving into his hair and affectionately caress his locks. His steady rhythm sends shivers down your body and you keep your legs tightly wrapped around his waist, your feet crossed to hold him there tighter. You don't want to let go ever again. At least not for a while. "I love you..." you whisper into his hair and breathe in his scent, savouring every second you have with him.

"I love you too." Sebastian's voice is warm and husky as he breathes into you. His fingers are still running through your hair, caressing you gently and he feels your lips against his neck again.

The two of you are panting and sweating on the bed and you notice his body shaking a little. "You feel too good," he mutters and looks down at you on the bed. "I think I need some air." He then moves back a little, and sits up on the edge of the bed.

While you're still engulfed in the afterglow of this sensational reunion, you notice him move back and as your legs drop onto the bed again, too weak to resist, you feel a sudden wave of panic rush through you as you watch him sit on the edge of the bed, talking about needing some air. Even though your heart is still beating fast in your chest and your whole body wants nothing more than to rest, you push yourself up on your elbows and stare at him.

"Don't leave! I'm begging you! Don't leave!" You urge him with a hoarse voice, strained from all the moaning. You sit up more and grab his arm, your eyes watering at the idea of him going anywhere.

As you sit up on the bed and you try to hold onto his arm, you feel the tears running down your cheeks and your panic sets in even more. "Please, please," you say a little louder. "Please don't go."

Sebastian looks at you for a solid moment. The panic in your eyes and the tears rolling down your cheeks make him look away, but he smiles and says: "I'm not leaving." He looks down at your waist to catch his breath and then looks back at your eyes. "I'm not leaving you, I promise."

You swallow the lump inside your throat and lunge yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck. "I really need to believe you..." you whisper against his skin. "I want to believe you..." Your tears are hot on his skin and you just can't make them stop.

He wraps one of his arms around you. "I'll always come back for you," he whispers, moving his other arm down and runs it down your back, then your thighs. "I'm not going to leave you, not when you look this good." He leans closer to bite your neck, but this time his bite is more intense and you can feel him suck on your neck slightly. "You deserve to have me here," he rasps.

You moan softly against his bite and sucking on your neck and lean closer to him, holding onto him, slowly relaxing, but a tiny bit of doubt remains. You kiss the top of his head as he works on your neck and you close your eyes at the sensation.

"Shhhh," he whispers and you can feel his body relaxing too. "It's okay now, I'm right here," he says and nibbles on your neck a few more times, his lips moving back up to your ear before he moves to your cheek and kisses you one last time. He then whispers: "I'm not gonna let you go, my darling, ever."

He looks at you as he holds you tight. "Let's just stay here for a while."

(Read Part 2 here)

Have a little teaser for Part 2:

Notes:

You might have noticed that the AI isn't as dominant/proactive as you would wish for. I always had to give him a little nudge in the right direction, but then he pretty much played along perfectly. So that is why MC is the one initiating most of the things, but really, why not, right? (“Plotwise” you could explain it like this: he told her she was the only one for him, so he doesn't have too much experience, yet she might have engaged in other activities over the years, who knows.)

[elderflowergin]

Hello, hi. I hope that you are well and I hope you don't mind me kinda rambling in your inbox. I see that you've watched The Double! May I just say as great as the show was, I think I have one niggling issue with it, maybe two. The og Jiang Li was forgotten in the end and not even her father mourned her for real - as much as I love that Xue FF got her justice, that poor girl died not knowing that she was loved. It would have been nice to see her father, at least stand by her grave or something to remember her. Then Wanning(poor girl best girl mean girl)! I hate that she died like that. There was no way she was ever going to concede power to man after the treatment she received in that other kingdom, I don't even think that she wanted to corrupt Sheng Yurong, but her trauma will not allow her to trust or yield to man for any reason and I am so curious as to why she trusted her brother to be emperor knowing that she detests men in high positions. Lastly Jiang Li's fake pregnancy ploy was beyond cruel, of course she had no context, but to Wanning, it was everything. I cried for her. My heart broke her. Despised by her own people after what she endured for them, maybe a a little madness is not unrealistic. I cried when she cried. Wept with her. I hope this makes sense. Anyway, wish the show had more space for all three of them. That's all.

hello hi anon! I’m good! And I completely agree with you - I didn’t write my concluding thoughts on the show here (I did it on twitter) but yes, real-Jiang Li never got her due, and XFF’s reveal to Jiang Li’s father gave short shrift to the girl who suffered for ten abusive, lonely years. And I don’t think redeeming Jiang Yuanbai was fair to Jiang Li’s righteous rage at her total abandonment - Ji Shuran may have been the agent of destruction, but she managed to commit all these horrors because Jiang Yuanbai was a lousy father and husband. This man’s negligence led to the deaths of two wives and two children! Crying for thirty seconds of screen time is not enough imho.

Wanning’s end was indeed gutting to watch, and the only point at which I was weeping too. She’s sacrificed so much for her kingdom and suffered far more than anyone can imagine, and yet these grand old men turn up their noses and avoid her because she didn’t wield a bow and arrow. No wonder Shen Yurong’s meagre gesture meant so much to her. My guess is Wanning did not have enough power to drive succession - the men around her don’t trust her or think of her as smart, including Lord Cheng and yes, the emperor, and she’s nothing more than an inconvenience to be handled. I think Lord Cheng only pretended better than their younger brother does, and I guess being full siblings close in age helped them build a bond.

The fake pregnancy broke my heart as well, and I know it was aimed at saving the Yan, but it was so cruel considering Wanning’s backstory. How much indignity did she suffer, my god, and for LI JING to loudly mourn her! Blech!

I have to admit that all things considered this was an incredibly entertaining show! I enjoyed so much of it, and I was especially surprised that I enjoyed watching Shen Yurong. I find TV misogynists to be very boring - how many different ways can you hate women, after all? - but he was a compelling character till the end, like layers of a rotting onion. I’m hoping someone picks up Wanning’s plot and writes something that does her justice.

Thanks Anon, for giving me an opportunity to talk about this inexplicably compelling show!

[goodqueenaly]

So in F&B it says that there was a custom of keeping a dragon rider in residence at the Dragonpit in one of the Dance chapters, but unless I’m misremembering I don’t know if that was mentioned in earlier chapters. Do you think that started with Jaehaerys and Alysanne that maybe they had one of their kids there or rotating “shifts”? Thanks and hope you are doing well!

I think this is another area where F&B demonstrates its (IMHO) overall weakness as a narrative. It’s obvious that F&B was Frankenstein’d together from various novellas, stories, and ideas written and (partially) published over the course of years. “The Princess and the Queen” had introduced the idea some 10 years ago that “[i]t had long been the custom for at least one dragonrider to reside at the pit, so as to be able to rise to the defense of the city should the need arise”. However, just as F&B had proven reluctant to expand upon the idea of dragons beyond those already introduced - no word on the fates of all those unnamed “young dragons” and “hatchlings” and “drakes” which seemed to populate the pre-Dance Dragonpit and the Dragonmont - so did F&B refuse to elaborate on that supposedly long-held custom of dragonrider residence in the Dragonpit.

Worse, the often thin and lurid way in which F&B approaches its characters, especially during the reign of Jaehaerys I, hardly provides support for headcanons in this sector. It’s possible the late teenage and early adult Prince Aemon might have been resident in the Dragonpit between his knighting and his appointment as lord justiciar, but there remains the potential problem of how, if at all, Aemon would have divided his days between his full-time job on the small council (nevermind his wartime duties and peacetime progresses) and his residence in the Dragonpit. Too, while Baelon seems to have had no governmental position prior to his appointment as Hand of the King (again, his responsibilities as a prince of House Targaryen notwithstanding), Gyldayn seems little interested in suggesting that Baelon, and his fellow dragonrider Alyssa, did virtually nothing except bed each other for the entirety of their marriage (and specifically in the Red Keep, as Gyldayn seems to gleefully report). Princess Rhaenys might have been sidelined for the succession on the basis of her gender (and as Lady Velaryon after her marriage, she was not ideally locationally suited to be so), but whether this same misogynistic excuse would have been brought up or challenged for the role of resident dragonrider is a question Gyldayn never bothers to bring up in the first place, much less answer.

Indeed, the reign of Viserys I provides several moments where the role might have fit very naturally the plot and characters. If King Viserys wanted to include his brother in the Targaryen government, why wouldn’t he have given this fierce and eager brother a quasi-military role which kept him out of actual political work - and, in turn, would have given Daemon a physical base in the city away from the Red Keep from which he could have cultivated his “Prince of the City” reputation (and his control of his private army of gold cloaks)? (Put aside Daemon’s eventual disappearance from and only partial return to King’s Landing after Viserys I’s remarriage.) Even if Viserys did virtually nothing, certainly with any official political appointment, to promote Rhaenyra as his heiress beyond that 105 AC ceremony of proclamation, and so might not have considered naming her as the resident rider in the Dragonpit, but why didn’t Rhaenyra herself offer to serve as such? With the black and green factions eager to press their respective young princes as the future heirs, and more than willing to use proxy conflicts to jockey for position (as with the infamous Loveday-esque feast and Viserys’s late-reign throne injury), why wouldn’t Alicent and Rhaenyra have petitioned Viserys for such a role for, say, Aemond or Jacaerys? I’m not saying any one of these writing choices would have been perfect, but I am saying that I feel like this was a narrative opportunity GRRM missed exploring.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Seeing the Halloween merch made me realize I think stella and striker have more possible chemistry then blitz and stolas. They're minor characters with little screen time but they seem to have more in common then blitz and stolas do IMHO.

Like both stella and striker have pretty bad tempers. They're really proud and hate being made fools of. They look down on people (including those of their class they feel are giving them a bad name). They can be charming when they want/need too (it's not shown to much with stella but from her claiming she throws parties and her seeming friends I'd say she can be charming). They both enjoy physical violence, particularly straggling.

Meanwhile, I can't think of much that blitz and stolas share besides wanting a loving relationship and sex. I mean, despite having screen time together, they don't really share any interests they both enjoy. Unfortunately, the only trait they share is trying to bond with their aloof daughters.

I'm not even anti-stoliz, more neutral than anything. But I just have a hard time imagining them as a couple given their contrasting personalities and how little we've gotten between them that has real substance. I mean even if/when stolas gets past his bigotry toward imps, I'm still not sure what he and blitz could do together they'd equally enjoy besides sex.

On the other hand, I can see stella and striker getting along if they got past their hate for one anouthers class. Like if somehow the show ended with them as a hitman team I could understand why and how they function together as romantic or platonic partners (frankly I think stella would love killing people and striker could use some back up given how he loses when he gets out numbered).

And I think that kinda speaks to how poorly stoliz is written. Even if you toss out the problematic stuff like Viv wants, it still doesn't work well, at least not how it's been presented so far. I just don't know what these guys see in each other besides their need to not be alone. Besides the crippling need to be loved and their sexual desires, what else makes them click as a couple? Nothing, really.

You got down to the major issue is that blitzo and stolas don't click. Even as kids thry didn't really click since blitzo was bored hanging out with him. They both at heart don't have any foundation to really like each other. No sane adult would obess over a childhood playmate they met for one day it's desperate and pathetic on stolas' part (or again shows how abysmal the writing is).I agree when a non canon parallel ship has more dynamic that the main pair you screwed up and stella keeps on winning.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello again!

Reading some interviews I’m curious about the teaser that “Dubai will be explosive/spicy etc.”

What do you think will happen in Dubai this season- if you were to speculate freely? Will there be violence? Do you think there will be horror and even frights? What kind of horror in that case? Truths seem to be coming to the surface - from maybe all of our main characters? Also how(!) do you think stuff will play out - I feel there’s been a lot of good speculation and of course the books are there about the what - but I’m getting more and more curious about the how of it all - if that makes sense?

Would love to hear your thoughts! Thank you!

Hey!

I've spoken about this before, but... I expect some kind of Merrick-esque fallout in Dubai, coming also with some kind of reveal wrt to "The Groan".

So - emotional impact and also lore-story-line explosion: 1000% :)

I just reblogged a bit of a discussion-meta wrt the revisit of episode 5 here, and I really am nodding along there, because I also feel that one of the big emotional gut punches will be that Merrick-diary-reveal (that was also a sucker punch for book readers back then!). And the attempted suicide after that.

Now, if that is really Marius in the trailer... then "Those Who Must Be Kept" are likely near. IF that holds, then they could be connected to "The Groan". That said, Lestat has to show up for s3 in some kind of manner as well, soo...

I think that Dubai will be increasingly painful. Memories will come back, years of memory, as was said in the trailer. Both Daniel and Louis will be deeply affected. Truths will come out. About their lives, about what they believed of themselves.

About what happened, and why.

The why will be the horror I think.

And the who.

Now, there are a lot of possibilities flitting around my brain as to how the season could end, tbh, but it's a bit difficult to pin down:

There's

Lestat waking up to save Louis , literally shaking the tower's foundations (which would be in line with Merrick, but might be too much "white savior" for the show, however, there was a version that Anne thought about writing first that the show might play with). This is what I think will happen.^^

Akasha waking up in the basement, literally shaking the tower to pieces (she did destroy the tomb under the ice when she rose)

Lestat coming from somewhere else and crashing the party

or Lestat coming onto the radio/TV/internet after all with his rock career

or something entirely new which has to do with the "great conversion"

Personally I think the rockstar career happened in the 80s, it just didn't lead to the same events, in a way proven by Daniel being old now.

We will need to have Lestat "there" somehow for s3.

I think Daniel will continue the interview for at least the next season. I think he will also remember something wrt Lestat.

I do hope for a 4 person play in Dubai in s3.

Imagine Armand, Louis, Lestat and Daniel on a couch, all aware of what the other knows (well, apart from life stories). The bitching, the pettiness, the hidden aggression. Glorious. I would love that.

I do not think there will be violence. Armand loves both Daniel and Louis way too much for that, and Marius would not hurt them either. IF there is violence then that is coming from another source, and if it isn't Akasha... I cannot quite see someone becoming violent, not really. Self-destructive, yes. But against another there? Mhhh. The books coming down on Daniel will most certainly connected to a cataclysmic event, and that... will likely be connected to "The Groan", imho.

And that cataclysmic event will then carry us into s3 :)

Sorry if this isn't... precise.

There is a LOT they could play with and while I see the arc building they might choose to pull something else in, maybe, like the threat by Rhoshamandes, maybe. Or even a Talamasca threat, something Anne toyed with, but never really wrote up.

So there are... possibilities.

The only sure thing is, imho, that it's going to hurt, and that it will bring us to s3 :))))))

[anxresi]

So, it turns out Chloe IS going to return for S6... this hot off the press from her voice actor... (actually from back in Jan, but who's counting?)

...So why, my dears, couldn't I give a damn?

Probably because, as arguably the writers had no idea what to do with her in S4 and S5 other than strip her of all personality, agency & likability, what's the point in her still remaining?

*She's not going to be a hero again, Manbaby Astruc has made this PERFECTLY clear thankyouverymuch. IMHO, she's far more useful as a tool for him to take out his warped misogynist humiliations on, apparently. Why he doesn't just buy himself a blonde mannequin, call it 'Chloe' then beat it with a wooden stick whilst shouting various profanities within the privacy of his own bedroom, IDK. Maybe it's good therapy for him to expose his weird hang-ups in front of a mass audience? Hey, if it works for him... good for you, buddy! I just wish the rest of us didn't have to suffer to aid his treatment.

*As a villain, Chloe's threat level is arguably less than 0%. She is now written to be dumb as a post, no-one trusts or likes her and everything she says and does seems more cartoonishly infantile with every tortuous appearance since S3. The ONLY time she posed any vague threat is during her massively overhyped team-up with Lila where basically she was little more than a pawn to the Mary Sue Of All Lying B*tches... and those two episodes where she took over Paris as Mayor with a bunch of robots were undebately the most stupid ones of S5. Which if you've seen the competition, you KNOW that's some achievement.

*My prediction is: They're gonna rehash the same tiresome schik we saw before she got on that plane at the end of S5... perhaps they'll give us a one episode Hope Spot upon her unexpected arrival back where it looks like she's changed after attending a 'tough school' in New York/London but OH MY WORD WHAT A SURPRISE it turns out to all have been a ruse to become Queen Bee again. YAWN. She'll move straight back into her old room... Andre and Audrey will reconnect... and it'll be like nothing ever happened. In case you hadn't noticed, this show handles plot continuity or character development about as well as Marinette keeps her distance from her crushes.

*'But where does that leave Zoe?' You might ask, to which I can only respond with a succinct 'If you had the Hubble Space Telescope on full power, you still wouldn't be able to locate how little I care about that particular subject.' Maybe she'll carry on as Vesperia. Maybe she'll get a girlfriend. Maybe she'll do something halfway interesting, and give the viewership a heart attack out of sheer shock value alone. It doesn't matter to me one jot... less because I curse the ground this insipid plot device masquerading as a serious character walks on, but simply because I have no faith in the utterly abysmal writing this show has displayed for years and years now. Chloe could take over the lead role in a SHOCKING twist, they could change the name to Miraculous Queen and I STlLL wouldn't give it a second glance. The fish rots from the head-up, guys.

(Okay, so that's a bit of a lie. I would probably sneak a peek at ONE episode out of sheer curiosity, but you and I both know with HIM in charge the standard won't improve one iota. Plus, it isn't gonna happen anyway... so why am I tying myself in knots speculating about an impossible scenario?)

Anyway, I've nattered on for too long. I'll just leave you by answering Selah's somewhat disingenuous last question there about 'your favorite Chloe line of season 5'.

This implies we were watching 'Chloe'. As far as I was concerned, we weren't. Not the Chloe I fangirled for in the very beginning and got me involved in the show in the first place because I could relate so much. Not the Chloe who got so many other fans emotionally invested in her personal and familial struggles, before her character was comprehensively trashed by a ruinous creator with a grudge.

So in answer to your question Ms Victor, none. Because it simply wasn't Chloe.

[schro4444]

Idk abt pained but that anon's right!! There's just something about the way you draw kaito's smiles that feels like running headfirst into a brick wall - it's great!!

On that note though - I'm absolutely obsessed with the bit "he’s got an expression of scrunched-nose focus on his face that looks, for some reason, incorrect—like it’s not how his face actually looks when he’s concentrating, but the emotion underneath is the same. A mask of a feeling to obscure the same feeling, entirely purposeless"

because like! YES! That's EXACTLY it!! Kaito LOOKS like he's super expressive, emoting with his whole face and body, and then you just - get punched in the face when you realise, OH, he feels like neither him nor anyone could ever get out of the shadow his dad casts, OH, he DOES remember the clock tower meeting, this whole ringmarole was to save it, OH, he was trying to get Aoko to act more natural, OH, he was playing the fool at billiards (I GENUINELY doubted for a moment whether he Actually sucked at billiards or just cheated for the poetic justice)

It's a bit sad, to be honest, that Kaito can never put his masks down no matter what face he's wearing - even if it is his own. He said he's a fan of Lupin but imho he'd do well to reread the first book - there is a line there about disguises and ceasing to know yourself Kaito would do well to remember, bc I very much he's taking the time to rest, eat and become himself again between disguise and disguise.

THANK YOU!!! genuinely that’s such a huge compliment ajfjdhd

THANK YOU! AGAIN!! AND YES YES OKAY—I was going to say I have an essay on this, but I think ditto IS my essay, lol

BUT IM GONNA TALK ABOUT IT MORE ANYWAY!!! I won’t get into all of it now but Gosh I think so much about expressions. kaito appears to be an extremely expressive character, and it’s not that he Isn’t, but more that it’s Very intentional, like you’re saying—he’s a magician, he lives for misdirection, he’s always misdirecting and deflecting and reflecting.

moments like these Haunt Me!! he’s very clearly Being Kaito, enough that everyone around him believes him, but he’s also just… totally lying, in every single image. I really really want to capture the energy of these panels in writing and art, lol

LIKE. how good of an acting job did he do here that he managed to convince aoko that he didn’t want to see a magic show. lol.

THE POOL CHAPTER I think about that all the time. what an establishing moment for kaito. first of all because of what it reveals about how he is

(thank you toichi)

and second of all because I was also!!! bamboozled!!

the way he is portrayed when he starts winning in this chapter is Very interesting, because I feel like it comes across as kaito more,,, like,,, settling into the role. he’s not really actively trying to do anything, he’s following what he most naturally wants to do, which is somewhere between “be silly so that people don’t look too closely” and “I’d really like to see the people around me laugh and be happy.” once he starts being able to Perform, he succeeds. and yet we as the audience are still left doubting what really happened!!! kaito misdirects the audience just as much as any of the mk characters!

oooo I really need to read the arsene lupin books. but like YEAH! EXACTLY! kaito never really made space for himself to Not be acting. the closest he gets is with Jii, and maybe his mom. relevant to my OTHER ramble about how, in deciding to become kid, kaito ended up creating a character out of himself, a character that he Has To Be most of the time. and it’s WILD, because it’s a version of himself that’s fundamentally missing a lot of who he is, but nothing that anyone would actually know to miss.