#they got a variety of ppl with different stuff on it but

[coderiderr]

Mom bought me a calming app that’s actually working :)

[waywardsalt]

tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz

[protectingtulpas]

So I just got sent that pretty iconic "anti-tulpa" document and I think it's pretty damn funny that a lot of those sources, if you actually READ them, are neutral or even supportive lmfao.

Like for this one? This is straight up pro-, and is just explaining that "tulpamancy" isn't the original concept and that it's based on other practices. Congrats, you're making our fucking point for us!

This next one is pretty interesting also. I wanna highlight some stuff from it, from both the op and comments.

Let's talk about my existence in contrast to some of these statements. The first one is "The biggest, most dangerous form of evil in Buddhist thought is "ego" or self-grasping. If ANY mental phenomena increases your self-cherishing attitudes (self importance, grandiosity, jealousness, craving, hatred, self-loathing, self-absorption etc) it's evil. IF a mental phenomena causes greater flexibility, less attachment, more tranquil emotions, less mental chatter/discursive thinking, increased generosity and compassion toward others, higher mental clarity etc.--that's good." And the second one is "If it increases negative emotions, it's not Dharma. If it decreases negative emotions, it's Dharma." So these are great for some people, but that mentality of not allowing "self-cherishing attitudes" can be EXTREMELY HARMFUL FOR SYSTEMS and ANYONE with self worth issues. A lot of this is contradictory for a lot of people. Something can both decrease negative emotions and make you feel connected to yourself. Nobody has the right to make us feel any less like ourselves - normally you can believe whatever you want for yourself, obviously, but pushing it onto other ppls' lives aint cool. The implication that we're straight up DANGEROUS just for existing is insulting to created systems regardless of whether you're using the word tulpa or not.

The reply to that by @/eeveecraft is great, and this part describes how weird that is in the context of headmates' identities here. "Furthermore, really don't like how you downplayed tulpas as property there, buddy. Tulpas are not property, they are people in every sense of the word, and I don't [give a] flying fuck about whatever complications that for your beliefs. My systemmates are people, full stop. I was already able to tell since you refer to your own systemmates as "imaginary friends," which a lot of tulpas aren't okay with being called that because that implies that they're fake. They are NOT lesser because they're not created by ancient monks or whatever.

"Like, seriously: "They would be considered "as real as you and me," with their own likes and dislikes etc," because apparently, modern tulpas don't have likes and dislikes and their hosts just see them as delusions? Say that to my tulpa, Arcanus who adores coffee while the smell makes me nauseous, say that to my systemmates who switch with me and have their own hobbies. Also, tulpas are more than just personalities. They have their own experiences, skills, preferences, dreams, memories, thoughts, a person is more than just their personality, and I thought a "licensed psychotherapist" would know that, especially if they have systemmates of their own." Make sure to read the full comment tho cuz it's a good takedown, it's not just about that it goes thru the entire thing.

SO! If anybody actually wants a well-studied paper outlining everything, check out Tracking the Tulpa: Exploring the "Tibetan" Origins of a Contemporary Paranormal Idea by Natasha L. Mikles and Joseph P. Laycock. It goes into a lot more of an accurate and in-depth history on the subject, and the bibliography ACTUALLY shows where things come from.

All that document showed us was that Buddhists are a wide community with a variety of different people with different skill levels, understandings, and opinions. And that we need to ditch the fantastical, impossible representation of the tulpa in supernatural media because that's ACTIVELY harming people. Which is what we want to show people! So congrats!

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

[punkeropercyjackson]

hello!!!! I need to know how you imagine ppl from atla dressing in a modern universe.. I think you were the one who said katara was punk and i’d like to see more of that.. and the rest of the gaang!! and even azula mai, ty lee and jet if you have ideas for them too!😋😋😋

mostly ive been wondering abt sokka.. i’ve seen so many different versions of him in a modern setting! same for zuko though I don’t really see him wearing suits like a lot of the modern au art i’ve seen ??

NOT PREP ZUKO😭😭😭😭😭PLEASE THAT'S SO FOUL(and tysm,i've actually been meaning to post about this!!!)

Aang:Solarpunk.Long flowy skirts,shawls,crop tops with radicalist messages,etc.I also imagine he'd wear doc martens with yellow laces(anti-racist)!!

Katara:From rezcore to punk kid!She started making her own clothes and aesthetic getups at 12 with diy skills and dressses pretty typically punk!Spike bracelets and chokers,baggy ripped jeans,edgy ahh shirts,long sleeved stripped tops and her precious battle jacket,which has patches for Kya,Hakoda,Sokka,Aang,Nia,Toph,Zuko,Jet and Mai!!

Zuko:Tradgoth.FUCK normie Zuko,let him be an authentic goth guy with weird ass interests!!Masc-leaning but dosen't mind femiminity so he'll wear chunky skirts and tank tops like he does cargo pants and chunky gothic tops of all variety and ofc wears the makeup too but with japanese twists

Sokka:From rezcore to skapunk!He took a while to catch up to Katara but he got there and blows white skater boys out of the water with his swagger and knowledge

Nia:Pastel punk and kidcore.He dresses and does his makeup completely accurately but with afro/japanese accents to it so closer to a y2k edition than a 2010s one and he also has a pink and black battle vest with patches for Aang,Zuko,Katara,Sokka,Toph,Azula,Ty Lee,Mai,Jet,Yung and Dahla!!Also pink laced Draculaura boots-(Zunia is Dual Kawaii-coded fr fr)

Toph-Cottagepunk and butch.He's basically walkin' around lookin' like a lesbian farmer(flannels,backwards hats,chunky hunter boots),which is accurate because Yung owns a farm and adopts her eventually!!

Jet-Crustpunk.He has a battle jacket that ends up with patches dedicated to the entire Gaang as he joins them and looks like he walked straight out of punk dude redraws memes(acts like it too LMAO)

Team Azula-Visual Kei(Azula),Tradgoth(Mai)and Scene(Ty Lee)trio!!They used to buy their stuff but Nia taught Azula DIY so she passed down the knowledge to her besties!

[dnpbeats]

I would be interested in a post about their management! I find that stuff interesting but I don’t know much about it

hi!!! firstly sorry it's taken me so long to get to this! 😭 also going to put this under the cut bc it got long lol :3 also this is more about their talent agents, idk if they have a dedicated manager doing what marianne used to do or if her job is now spread between different ppl/agencies

okay, so currently dan, phil, and danandphil are signed with InterTalent which is a talent agency. (dan is also signed w/ united talent agency, im assuming he's signed to two agencies bc UTA based in the US and intertalent is based in the UK? but his contact email on his yt channel goes to intertalent.)

dan's under the comedy division of intertalent which you can see on their website:

bc he's under comedy he's represented by hannah layton who is head of the comedy division. but if you go to her profile, she's assisted by someone named izzy whitaker, so I wouldn't be surprised if she's also worked with dan. and then as you can see on dan's profile his events are handled by olivia bertolotti. so already with just dan there's three ppl dealing with his stuff 😂

phil is signed under the digital creators division:

he's represented by meisha kelly, who according to the website is the head of the sports division so lmao 💀 she only has one other digital creator client besides phil. and then his events are handled by the same person as dan (she's head of events so im assuming she handles a lot of people's events?)

dan and phil together, as dapg, are also signed, under the gaming division:

so dapg is represented by a different person (toby dobson) than dan and phil because they're in the gaming division. also side note im cracking up at the cat pic being the photo of choice for dapg?? 💀

so basically there's just a lot going on since all three d&p entities are in different divisions and therefore have different agents representing them

so on top of all that, there's audiencly which is an "influencer marketing agency," from what I can tell from their website they essentially just hook up content creators with brands for brand deals. they also do influencer management. dan and phil (again, as dapg) are listed as one of their "exclusive creators" so I'm assuming that their services don't overlap w/ intertalent much at all, but regardless they are also signed with audiencly. (also in case anyone is curious, they're listed under "variety" (not gaming))

from what I can see there isn't an extensive list of brands that work with them, so I don't know if all of dan and phil's spons are through them or just some of them. but from their case study page we at least know that socialpoint (aka dragon city) and nordvpn work with them. we also know that evony (the knight game) works with them because the giveaway info is hosted on audiencly's website (this is actually how I found out about audiencly lmao 😭)

also if you care, their business managers/accounts are dales evans & co which you can find from their company information lol. they also do tour financial management which is im assuming why d&p chose them!!

so yeah that's pretty much it, or at least everything I know! :) also bc TIT is happening rn you also have AEG thrown in the mix, which is the tour producer/promoter (but obviously that won't last past the tour)

[officialclangen]

Hya! Do any of the ppl in charge of coding have any recommendations for people who wanna learn? Looking to make my own game but not sure where to start 😅😅 ty!!

I don't work on Clangen as a coding dev, but I am working to become a programmer as a career, so maybe some of my advice might be helpful?

One thing is, What programming language are you working in? Games use a variety of programming languages depending on what they need. Clangen itself is built on Pygame, which runs on the programming language Python. Python's a more "beginner-friendly" language, due to it being written in more regular English. Lots of game engines use stuff like C# or C++ for their memory efficiency though. Choose what you need!

Either way, you'll need to learn the basics of programming before you start going nuts. I'd look up tutorials online for learning that, and make a bunch of small bad programs. You've got to practice it to do it! Also, you're going to break stuff. Don't be afraid of it. Whenever you're doing anything different, stuff is going to be slightly broken at first. You've just got to take another look and the answer might be way more obvious than you think!

✦ Chibi ✦

[our-trans-punk-experience]

What does it really mean to be a "punk?" Is it a subculture? An ideology? Both? Something else?

It seems very interesting to me but I'm afraid that it'll turn into something where I have to sacrifice myself for the cause/scene/group or something. I'm not doing that. Period. I want to do stuff, you know? I want to fight. I want to make music. But I don't want to worship an idol of rigid Marxist analysis that asserts itself as the one true way of understanding our world as well as the one true moral framework. Not that I'm a big fan of morality anyways. I'm not joining The Christian Church 2.0. I'm not hanging with the bougie college kids who worship labor and workers.

I like anarchism because I want to do whatever I want. Period. It is a distinctly egoistic affair for me- think max stirner. That's not to say that I'm going to ignore critical theory stuff entirely (as I myself am a neurodivergent queer). I want to learn about the struggles of POC, queer people, neurodivergent people, et cetera so that I can resist against society and government. However, I don't want to be some kind of liberal politically-correct type that brings up their own identity in unrelated topics because they want to feel important. I'm not a twitter user.

I already know that I can do with concepts whatever I like. If I don't want to be "punk" then that's not going to stop me from being anarchist. People who feel the need to attach themselves to subcultures because they wanna feel correct and agreeable are fuckin' dweebs. What I want to know is what's in it for me. Why should I be "punk?"

OkOk tysm for being so engaged i love when ppl rlly are not afraid to grill me for information

1: Punk is a subculture, with a variety of politics in the scene, united by non-conformity and being anti-establishment / anti-authority.

2: You should in no way have to sacrifice anything about yourself, your style, or your politics to be punk. The whole idea is non-conformity so you do not have to meet any sort of criteria for style, music, or politics except the aforementioned [on a separate note i just answered an ask on punk politics, but could make another more in depth punk politics post on request].

2a: If someone on the scene gives you shit for enjoying showtunes and britpop alongside black flag and x-ray spex then that person is a wanker

2b: If someone in the scene gives you shit for wearing a battle vest with an mcr patch or a logo from a tv show you like alongside your eat the rich stitch-on then that person is a wanker

2c: if someone in the scene gives you shit for being punk in the "wrong way" then they are the one who doesn't understand what it means to be punk. they are, say it with me, a wanker

3: yeah dw, punk is not in any way synonymous w champagne socialist theory purists like you fear, its about action and small acts of resistance and mutual aid more than holding out on doing anything helpful bc it isnt a great communist revolution. we are the revolution

4: I like that you've done your reading. just as an aside.

5: yes I'd say esp nowadays (less so in the 70s) punk is a scene that has a strong focus on queer rights movement. The original punk focuses were more about class and race tensions, but as the subculture has evolved, the fight has become about standing up for anyone getting screwed over by the fuckers on top. you are in the right place for learning about the struggles facing multiple groups and how you can help them for sure

6: fear not, becoming a punk does not mean you have to join twitter

7: "I already know that I can do with concepts whatever I like." Good. You've got the hard part down already.

8: Your final point, on why you should be punk, has a bunch of different answers. Be punk bc its a great gender neutral term of address. Be punk because it'll make it easier for you to find cool ppl u get on with. Be punk bc we have good music. Be punk because DIYing your clothes is very rewarding. Be punk because it's an amazing community. Be punk bc tbfh you seem pretty punk already. You've sort of gone in reverse order to a lot of punks. You really have a good grasp on your own politics and philosophies, and you're clearly anti-conformist. If you want you can now work back into the music, the style, and immersing yourself in the subculture. We would love to have you

Do whatever you like, hope this was helpful

in solidarity :]

[kingsandbastardz]

Sometimes I like comparing actors behavior/personalities outside of their roles to their in character roles, just to see where they are making some of their acting choices.

I don't usually follow actors so the following impressions are based off casual viewing:

All three leads are very confident, physical actors. Aero's dance background definitely helps.

On variety shows, they try to help Cheng Yi bc he struggles more than they do.

Cheng Yi sees variety show games as stressful hellscapes. But on a drama set, he's fully in control and confident. He isn't the type that thinks of snappy responses very quickly when he's put on the spot.

Joseph seems to be a very proactive, take charge personality and has good situational awareness. Friendly arguing and mildly bossing Aero around, including physically moving him. Will be super permissive with Cheng Yi failing at every game but if Aero messes up a single time... 💀 rip Aero. Not a cute personality type. In freeform situations, will direct others or talk/create ideas for group activities to do in front of the cameras. Verbally quick.

Aero is the second person that will take charge if ppl are passive but seems to prefer an active support role. Looks confident but imo he's not always on the same page as everyone, so ends up in situations where he has to mask awkwardness. Is totally ok with Joseph being assertive with him despite the age difference. In freeform situations, defaults to being physically helpful or doing stuff.

Thoughts on acting choices vs the actors naturally in the wild:

No proof, but I'm like 100000% convinced the bamboo holding/walking and the wedding dress hand holding were unscripted additions. Would not be surprised if you told me Aero was helping Cheng Yi maneuver on set or they were goofing off and the director decided to work it into the story.

The cuteness of Fang Doubing is a creation. He's not fluffy like that irl.

Cheng Yi mentioned that his speech is fast bc the director kept telling him to talk faster, so his rapid patter style is a product of him trying to maintain speed without being boring. His natural speaking pace and reaction time is slower than the role

Fang Doubing has a 'young lion' feel, like he is on the cusp of taking charge of everything with just a bit more time and training. I think that's some of Joseph's natural assertiveness at play.

Aero has said he got a nice high when he filmed a particularly dominating scene. He doesn't seem to be naturally like that. Physical stuff being his happy place definitely comes through in his fight scenes.

Cheng Yi's confidence on set shows when LLH/LXY becomes dominating on screen. You can tell he has zero doubts in himself

I don't know what experiences or parts of his personality Aero was channeling during DFS's gender subversive confrontations with Jiao Liqiao but it was fascinating. His (imo atypical and realistic) reactions made his worsening situation far more tense and believable than I expected.

Fang Doubing's yelling/being rowdy at DFS... seems to be a direct mirror of irl behavior, but more often, more prolonged and framed in a more mutually antagonistic, cute manner. Irl Joseph is just goofing and Aero takes it like a champ.

Chen Yi said he first met Aero during martial arts training sessions and that they didn't discuss their roles before they jumped into doing scenes together -- so I guess this means their synergy on screen just came naturally between them? (The director must have been so happy)

all 3 are team players with the way they support each other during variety shows, so I think that contributed to how they maintained their chemistry and push/pull for their characters

Other thoughts:

With Joseph's natural personality, I can see why he's interested in playing a villain. I think he could do something interesting with a bad guy that looks like a good guy. Sort of like DFS who has a lot of heroic qualities but looks like a bad guy? Just in the opposite direction.

[destinyc1020]

Tom's fans are different, but they speak the facts. It's absolutely normal to want a successful project for your favorite actor because his work and talent should be recognized. It's also normal when you want to see activity on Tom's part. Sometimes some of Tom's fans are negative, but in many ways they are honest, to me they are much better than some hypocritical TZ fans who claim to be equally staned Tom and Zendaya, but in fact they are Zendaya's fans first and foremost. By the way, your theory is very interesting and I think to some extent I can agree with it. But at the same time, it amuses me how sometimes you are too optimistic or do not notice serious problems with some things related to Tom

I mean, I don't mind if fans are honest about their faves. I've always said that I'm 100% honest here on my blog about how I feel about a variety of people and topics. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But to me, it seems as though some fans of Tom (notice I said SOME) can be a bit harsh on him, or complain about things that in the grand scheme of things, really aren't big deals in the long run. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Or, they'll make blanket negative statements that aren't even true, like, "it's normal to want a successful project for your favorite actor" (as if Tom hasn't had MULTIPLE successful projects already?? 🥴🤔), or, you"want to see activity on his part" (as if, we don't get Tom content either through himself, friends, and or family on a REGULAR basis). Look, some actors out here don't even have social media at all, or never post, or don't have their parents posting content about them. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Yet, ppl are still their fans.

I've already made peace with the fact that we're not going to get the same social media happy Tom that we got in 2017. I've made peace with that with both Tom AND Zendaya tbh. If smthg harms my fave and their mental and emotional health, I'm not going to be upset if they're not posting on social media.

I will agree with you that a lot of Tom's fans are actually fans of him by extention of Zendaya, his gf. But he can't help that. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Their stars happened to rise at the same time due to their Spiderman movie that they were in together. Many fans of Z were fans of her BEFORE she got to the level that she is today though, but it's not a bad thing imo?

But at the same time, it amuses me how sometimes you are too optimistic or do not notice serious problems with some things related to Tom

I just feel like Tom's fans are a bit hard on him, and undermine his success already in the industry all the time (his R&J PLAY sold out in like 2 hours!!!) Like, c'mon. 😏

And what "serious problems" are there related to Tom exactly? Is he on drugs? Is he wilding out? Does he look depressed? Is he looking homeless? Has he lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time? Is he acting crazy out in these streets? To me, those are "serious problems" and signs that an actor is going through smthg. All the other stuff you've mentioned aren't "serious problems" imo Anon.

Yes, we all want great things for our fave actors, and of course we wish them the best! 😃 But unless there are some serious issues going on in that actor's life, we need to know our place as FANS, and let an actor live his (or her) life! Actors usually only film about 1 or 2 films a year (if THAT), and the rest of the time, they're working bts, negotiating other future projects, promoting current projects, or simply just taking a break. When you're at Tom's level of success, you can afford to take longer breaks if needed. He's been working and going non-stop for over 7 years. If the man wants to take a break, his fans should be okay with that. Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

[kuromi-hoemie]

Hey Cinna, I've been looking into making my own accessories, especially chokers, but trying to figure out where and how to start has been extremely overwhelming to figure out what tools I need and where to even begin figuring out what supplies I would need to start.

All of your chokers have looked incredible, so I was wondering if you have any resources you could share for starting out and learning how to make chokers and other accessories?

i think the simplest way to start would be buying a standard choker from somewhere, and replacing and/or adding new spikes.

going into it u wanna look at how they've made their choker to get a good feel for what goes into it.

after you get it enough to try making your own, you can go buy leather strips from a crafting store; Leathercrafting or Leatherworking is what you'd wanna look up more generally depending on how deep you wanna go (and assuming u mean my style of chokers which r usually leather)

For changing a choker then making my own, tools i would start with are:

a hole punch for leather, lots of kits will come with the one you use a mallet with. this is quieter and faster, i prefer this :3

spikes, tree cone spikes if ur feeling a lil specific. note their measurements and buy whatever speaks to u or meets ur needs. i love having a variety to experiment with.

a little screwdriver for the back of ur spikes. they come with most kits or sets i think

rivets and snaps, watch how to set one and look at how they are used on the choker you got. get some buckles if you wanna try recreating that instead.

O rings and D rings. it's obvious what these are when you say it, but it wasn't at first 🧍🏾‍♀️they come in a variety of sizes and colors

jump rings which are used to connect D and O rings together, or for more stylistic purposes.

also some jewelry making kit from a craft store. specifically you just want a set of pliers, the flat one and needle nose tips are particularly helpful

some round cutters if you wanna use leather strips from a craft store or whatever to make a new choker

and then this one is very optional but i have this kit that comes with different detachable heads u can set or punch with. u don't have to know what they all do at first, but they will come in handy!

starting with just modifying an existing choker is a good way to observe and learn about the basics, once u start making ur own it's pretty easy to start experimenting and mixing things up.

if u need inspiration on what's possible, u can look at existing work. there are my chokers I've posted; one site whose work i love is NastyGem. their stuff is pricy but it's beautiful and inspiring to me.

for more help u should join crafting/art discord servers, and more generally try to keep an eye out for ppl familiar w ur craft. i am still learning too and i like to watch the processes be done on youtube or read an article abt the semantics of something. there's also me (❁´◡`❁) i am happy to share whatever i know if you have specific questions.

[lividjungle]

how would you define bi-gay in your experience?? asking bc it might be something im interested in as far as defining myself but idk bc i havent seen many ppl actually talk abt their experience and how it feels bc theyre usually just having to deal with assholes who are freaking out over someones identity that has literally nothing to do w them,, srry if youve answered smthn like this b4 btw

i havent gotten an ask abt it before its fine ^_^ i will say though that labels like mine can mean wildly different things between people and my reasonings for labeling myself this way . there is a LOT of variety within "mspec gay" communities as people have dubbed them and my experience may be completely different from someone else's. as someone who also went thru the same struggle of not knowing if it fit my only advice is to try it and see how you feel, because thats how i got here and i just in general hold the belief that if youre thinking abt a label theres probably a good reason behind it, even if you dont end up sticking with it in the end

anyways im putting my ramble under tha cut becaus it might be long. i like talking. yayy frolic

if something here does not make sense please be nice i am just generally Not very good at speaking, especially when it comes to explaining shit like feelings on stuff, and also i have a headache

my label as a bi gay man specifically stems from the fact that the way i experience attraction to men feels distinctly different from the way i experience attraction to women, but also not distinct enough to define it in a more concrete way like aesthetic or romantic attraction (the latter of which i do not experience). it's a very weird feeling and something i just kind of know rather than something i can explain. its also partially that i dont experience attraction towards those groups in equal amounts, and that feels significant enough for me to not feel completely comfortable calling myself only bi, because i feel as though that frames my attraction to both groups as the same amount, i guess? and that also ties back to feeling as though the way i experience attraction to those two groups is different

i briefly considered calling myself both gay and straight because i think its extremely funny (shoutout to people who do that. you're so real) but i like the label of bi more. i couldnt really give a reason for this other than it just feels more accurate

im still figuring out this specific aspect of my identity and how exactly things feel "different" outside of a weird nebulous feeling of them being different for no apparent reason but for right now this is what i've settled on calling myself and its helped a lot. but again a lot of people will have many different experiences with these sorts of labels

[pooklet]

Get to know you: Sims Style

I was tagged by @pockethamster and @furbyq-sims so here we goooo.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

In general: the satellite, cuz of the piano replacement that I have. It is also one of the most efficient ways to cull townies.

Specific deaths that have happened to my sims: Tiara dying in a toddler potty. No death in my game has ever/will ever be funnier.

Alpha CC Semi-realism or Maxis Match?

Semi-realism. Maybe it's cuz I started playing when that was the common style, but maxis match just looks very ... flat to me? Very papery. I've seen it done in a really fun, cartoon-y style by some creators, but that seems to be the minority and most of it seems to hew very neutral/natural toned and I am not about that lol. Even IRL, I like to surround myself with bright, colorful stuff.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Like, keep them thin? lmao no. I let their personality determine whether they exercise, but that has nothing to do with them being fat, as far as I'm concerned. I use a lot of fat bodyshapes because I'm fat myself and I like to have a lot of variety in my game. I don't have any system for deciding whether I use the maxis default body or a custom shape, I just go with what looks right to me.

Do you move objects?

Are there people who don't?

Favorite Mod?

Hm, either ACR v2 or Walk Through Blocks. I like my sims to be able to make as many autonomous decisions as possible, and navigate the spaces that I cram full of clutter.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

In the Sims 1 the first expansion I got was Hot Date. I played TS2 from release, so my first expansion was University.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

Alive.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I mean, it has to be Mawreen, right? If only for the chaos that she's sown.

Have you made a simself?

Yeah a few throughout the years, and I haven't played them in ages. Mostly I just use them for silly little pics with @skulldilocks's selfsim.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

One of the custom ones, I guess! I don't remember, I have all the EA hairs hidden lol.

Favorite EA hair?

I don't have one, really. Maybe some of the natural black hairstyles converted from TS4 but I couldn't name specific meshes.

Favorite life stage?

Adult! I made a custom aging mod so I can go through the other stages relatively quickly. The way my game is set up, they unlock all their traits and wants once they're an adult, and I like to see who they are as a fully realized person, so that's the most fun for me.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay. I have a lot of fun making houses based on real floorplans that I find, but it's mostly just stage dressing for the little freaks that inhabit them.

Are you a CC creator?

Yeh.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I mean, @skulldilocks obvs. People don't approach me much so there's only a few ppl that I talk to regularly like @furbyq-sims and @lilithpleasant. I am not really the "squad" type.

Do you have any sims merch?

This is a real thing?

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nope! I would never stream gameplay, the way I play isn't interesting. Lots of pausing and carefully adjusting angles to take pictures, getting distracted by other stuff, random crashes, etc. And editing that footage into something watachable would take ages. My play style lends itself better to picture entries, so I use Dreamwidth.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

More colors, more aliens, more [[JAM FACTORY]] lore.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@skulldilocks no question! I love watching her create anything for any game or craft. She's so talented. It doesn't matter if she's making sims cc or custom houses for Skyrim or doll clothes or anything else, she's my biggest inspiration.

How long have you had Simblr?

2010, babeyyyy.

How do you edit your pictures?

I have a tutorial here. I need to update it because I use different actions now, but most of the actual information there is still accurate.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

I want to say pets because I love cats so very much, but in terms of actual content, probablyyyy FreeTime? I like anything that makes sims more unique and the hobby system is a lot of fun!

I tag: @skulldilocks, @lilithpleasant, @krabbysims, @monilisasims, @goatskickin and @simmer-until-tender

[meadowmousey]

hi im gonna vent about my non existent sex life to my 3 followers now.

I’m in a ltr with an older man (i know) and it’s pretty cool for the most part except for the fact that i never get fucked lmao. it was pretty frequent and fun for the first like 8 months and now I’m lucky to get any like once a month. We got sick in winter 2022/2023, he had a terrible reaction psychologically. At first I understood bc like. We were REALLY sick. And then we got better. And I would try to initiate something and he would just give me the “maybe later” or “another day” stuff, and I wouldn’t ask again for like a week or so. And then I started doing a little amateur adult content as a side hustle, and he would take the pictures and stuff for me. So I would try to get a lil spicy. And he would turn me down. And I don’t know how to describe how absolutely shit it feels to have someone taking lewd pictures of you and them be completely turned off. Ouch. I started doing the pictures/videos alone and I would send him the best ones. He’d sometimes save them but usually I would get some half assed response. So I just stopped bc it made me feel gross. I’m like terminally horny as a person. I could fuck like 3x a day and still go again. I haven’t been able to get a “round two” since like August of 2022. He also presented himself when we first getting to know each other as super kinky and experimental. And he was at first. But it’s so vanilla since we got sick. Like, two positions and barely any variety. We bought some toys and rope and stuff. One of them we haven’t even used. Well, I have but it was alone. He told me, when I was first starting to really have my feelings hurt about his lack of sexual interest, that he has a hard time seeing me as both his life partner and as someone he can do kink with. And that really hurt. Like really bad. Like sure, the ppl he dated before he didn’t love (or the 1 night stands) the way he loves me. So how does it make sense that he gave them all the vulnerability and trust that kink involves but I can’t have that?? And then he says that we’re different, we’re better than most people because we don’t need to have a relationship based off sex. Homeboy if we did, the relationship would have withered and died ages ago. I’m a human being in my 20’s, I’m fucking horny!! I don’t understand why he thinks that it’s fair for him to have gotten to hook up and do all the fun stuff with other people, and now it’s just over for him forever. What about me? What about what I need? Like, I already feel like the once a month boring ass 30 minutes I get is a chore for him. I don’t want him to do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable with. It’s just really hurtful and unfair. I know he doesn’t wanna do an open relationship and I don’t either, but at this point I am so sexually frustrated. I feel embarrassed for wanting sex. I feel like he sees me as some kind of pure and untouchable thing, which makes no sense. I’ve always been up front about being really sexual, and kinky , and open, and unconventional. It’s like he refuses to see a whole entire side of me, except very superficially when we do get sexual. And even then I can tell he’s not really that enthusiastic, it seems like he’s on a mission to make both of us cum as quickly as possible. It’s not even fun anymore and I just feel so self conscious and shitty. It really fucking sucks not even being 25 with a dead bedroom. I’ve been trying to curb my sexual appetite as much as I can but at this point I’m gonna start chewing my fucking fingers off. The worst part is I know I’m not ugly. I know if most people had the chance they would happily get into bed with me. So why is it that the person who DOES get to, doesn’t even want it anymore?? I know he could have his pick of anybody as well. We were so compatible and so much happier when we were having sex more. Now I’m so full of resentment that I have a hard time connecting with him at all. I hate that I feel like this but I’m having to squash such big feelings 24/7. Ugh. Anyway.

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

less of a horny ask as such, more of an appreciative ramble?

for a long time i was one of those people who was like "oh, i like fat, i'm just not a fan of it on guys"

your blog (among a lot of other cool people on here!) has honestly been a huge part in me picking that (tbh, mostly rooted in fatphobia) belief apart and learning to find the beauty in masculine fat/gaining bodies as well as feminine ones

you just have such a way with words when it comes to talking about the things you love about bigger dudes (your answers to the last few asks being case in point!)! that, plus the huge variety of different body types you reblog and gush over - it very much got through to me

then after sitting with that for a while, i kinda realized how much of a double standard i was holding myself to - even as i was appreciating all these fat people online, i was absolutely terrified of gaining any weight myself, and the more i thought about it the more i just... couldn't find a good reason to be?

fast forward a bit, and i'm probably the heaviest i've ever been at the moment (still skinny by your standards, i am sure :p) - but for the first time i'm kinda just chill with it - enjoying it a little, even!

and that feels GREAT

so thank you for whatever small part you played in getting me to that point ❤️

bitch you’re gonna make me cry? this is genuinely so nice of you 😭

I’m so honored to be a small part of this journey, because honestly, being here has been healing for me in a lot of ways too. I still struggle with body image but being here and seeing all of my wonderful mutuals and ppl I follow helps me start to internalize that fat is okay, even on myself. it’s incredibly hot, even.

I completely understand, though. Fatphobia runs strong and deep and weight gain is scary because it can change so much about how you’re treated and seen in society. I was terrified when I stopped dieting and gained a ton of weight. But it’s okay to be fat, it’s okay to get fat on purpose, food is good, and the human spirit needs indulgence and hedonism to get through this life.

I’m glad and proud that you were able to dismantle those thoughts because it’s HARD. I hope you continue enjoying your body however it decides to be, whether bigger or smaller, and know that it’s just part of life. It’s not a linear journey, but it pays off as long as you stay the course.

I’m very grateful for this ask; I’ve been feeling really off these past few weeks and stuff like this affirms that being here (and being horny ;)) makes a lil difference. We’re all healing together. 💕

[cannibalise]

little late bt i got tagged by @guymeats and didnt know if i was too shy to post/do it bt whatever. havent made an actual post on here in wht feels like years lol

last song i listened to - this rn nelward - fashion

currently watching - nothing. not rly a watcher. ill say what im reading though. still halfway thru devourer (anrakyr novella(?)) and wondering whether i should just go ahead and start some heavier philosophy stuff ive been recommended by friends... tossup between philosophy of horror (thacker) or varieties of religious experience (james)

sweet/savory/spicy - sweet > spicy > savoury. i like all 3

relationship status - irrelevant

current obsession - ...funger.... and necrons. completely consumed by funger rn... i wake up in the morning and before i even open my eyes my first thoughts are how to streamline/optimise my route or some harebrained lore theory. ive seen endings A, B, D, E and im practicing runs on terror+starvation to get used to the different layouts nd difficulty differences. which has also made me so curious abt doing rag's personal ending... id like to try. current goals are ending C and enki's personal ending (S ending? idk i havent looked anything up at all, my sisters been telling me stuff cz i dont want to be even a little bit spoiled. which is also why i havent posted new art in a week or so. lots of funger stuff on my twt but im waiting til i cant be spoiled in the tags of my art. i recognise even posting this is a risk but...) it completely reinvigorated my desire+motivation to make art and not churn out the same boring shit over and over and to actually let myself indulge in. uhh. disgusting things. without worrying so much abt ppls reactions since im only rly friends w other freaks anyway

tagging... idk @gaast @skullhazard @gargoylegirlcock @monster-aligned @penultimania @fainlin @vikjayce @aesolerin @freelancerwizard whatever other mutual wants to do it if they wanna...