#they do not care how much of a mental breakdown i have visibly because they do not believe anything I have Not had any sort of rest .

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[ranvwoop]

i try to avoid my acc being Just vntposting . in this world. but man is it going

[weebsinstash]

Yandere Alastor having a huge alcoholic meltdown before deciding to take you back is making me crazyyyyyy because like. He sees you crying because you see him spiraling and takes it as confirmation you still love him and need him!!! Sure those scoundrels led you astray but you’re clearly miserable, he just needs to intervene more firmly this time for your his own good, no matter what you say.

One thing that really does it for me is the concept of, he's having an intense public breakdown for, WEEKS, MONTHS even, just spiraling spiraling spiraling, every time you think he's hit his lowest, you hear something worse: being drunk in public, starting fights over perceived disrespect, being extremely hostile and standoffish to those who try to speak to him, AVOIDING ROSIE, like....honey you destroyed this man

and then... all it takes to knock some sense into him is Vox showing you up on the big screen for Alastor to see, the Radio Demon watching you look upon his image with legitimate concern and PITY, like you're looking at a puppy being kicked or something. He hadn't seen your face (in person anyways) in what feels like AGES and then he finally sees his precious beloved beau again and you're. Crying, FOR him, BECAUSE of him. You're crying and that dirty nasty flat faced capitalist bastard is mocking you for all of Hell to see and THAT is something Alastor won't tolerate

Can you even imagine like. It becomes too much, you're crying and getting taunted by Vox and Alastor is like VISIBLY SHAKEN by the sight of you, amd, you just feel too much guilt, you run off absolutely sobbing and don't even see if Alastor manages to sober himself up enough to stand before you do. You just can't watch, it's torture. Which also leaves you completely unaware of how seeing your image seemingly renewed the absolutely WASTED Radio Demon's strength. You spend several days curled up in bed, refusing to watch TV or get on your phone, but, wait, doing your word searches and crossword puzzles or playing solitaire just makes you think of Alastor too--

Meanwhile he's like absolutely tearing through Hell personally tracking down every man you've so much as blown a kiss at behind his back and, well... you know what he's known for. These men might not have even known you were the Radio Demon's piece and are begging for their lives, but Alastor doesn't care. They've defiled you. They've tainted you. They've dirtied you with their disgusting grimey pig hands. There's no taking that back. If he can't exactly reach into their minds and remove their memories of seeing your exposed body, hearing your wanton noises, then, Alastor will just have to remove their minds from their heads entirely, won't he? Brain is such a tasty organ meat.

I just. The mental image of Alastor finally coming to fetch you and he finds you in like. the worst situation possible and I mean that. He's either finding you drunk in the gutter yourself because you started binge-drinking because of how seeing him Like That made you feel, OR, he's finding you getting railed in a sex club. I mean it. I want this man kicking down a door because he's finally coming to take you back and he thinks his precious boo is being tormented by gross men and you're like, a willing participant in a Czech reverse gloryhole. I want this man absolutely convinced you need him to survive and he walks in on you doing something that strikes him as so WILD that it instantly confirms WHATEVER INSANE THEORIES he had. I want a yandere Alastor who got cheated on because he never wanted sex (or, needed to become attached to you enough to want it and you lost patience before he reached that point) and he sees you cheat on him, dump him, and immediately run headfirst into the wildest kinkiest craziest shit to the point he thinks you're having a mental health crisis and, oh honey clearly this is HIS FAULT. He didn't... cater to all of your needs, so you sought out men who could. It's not YOUR fault these, DISGUSTING PIGS would take advantage of you, which is CLEARLY what happened!

But anyways, oh no no, don't worry darling! He's been doing a lot of self reflecting on himself and his feelings and --ignore the tentacle climbing up your leg -- and he's been thinking a lot about what to do about your... apparently very rigorous physical needs and --yes there ARE multiple tentacles starting to kind of grope all over you but you're not focusing on the conversation, dear-- and Alastor thinks he's found a solution that should.... DEEPLY satisfy both of your desires :) now, all you have to do is relax and allow him to show you the fruits of all the "anatomy research" he's been doing recently...

[kining-the-evil]

May I request a yandere house, Wilson, and chase (separate) with a fem autistic reader, please?

Yandere!House MD Characters with an Autistic Darling

Summary: Will include headcanons for Chase, House, and Wilson

Warnings: Yandere themes, mental manipulation, emotional abuse, slight frustration with reader by chase, autistic!reader. I kept it gender neutral.

Reminder, everyone with autistic is different and certain aspects are more visible in some and less in others.

Taglist: @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @flowercrowns-goodvibes

House MD master list All Master lists

House:

This man is so goddamn autistic.

Anything you do that may seem weird or off to others he doesn't even think twice about.

You're overwhelmed by everything around you? Here, he brought your noise canceling headphones.

You don't want to go to a social gathering? Perfect, neither did he.

You're blunt and to the point? He's never offended by it.

Depending on what your special intrest is it will be a 50/50 chance that he will be supportive.

If it's something he can find intrest in, you both will obsess over it together.

But if he finds it stupid/a waste of time be ready to get berated for it. House will make sure to let you know how he feels about it.

But if you ever get in an argument, are upset with him, or anything else he will buy something to do with your special intrest as a way to bribe you.

If his yandere tendencies are at the point of kidnaping he would do his best to abide by any rituals and sensory issues you have, but he still thinks about his own first.

Wilson

Wilson has been dealing with house for years, so he doesn't have many issues really.

Everything in the house is in a way he knows you like. furniture with textures you can't stand are gone, he makes sure to stock plenty of your favorite foods with the right brands, if you need any extra sensory things (like a sensory swing) he's buying it and setting it up in the house.

He would love anything your special intrest may be, not matter how weird or creepy it might be.

Wilsom will listen to you for hours about whatever it is you're interested in. He basically learns as much about it as you do because you just reread facts to him about it.

Wilson would infantize you a bit, which will be frustrating.

He's a natural caregiver, so he wants to take care of you. And seeing you have something that can make life more challenging will make him want to take care of you even more.

It doesn't help that him as a yandere is very underhandedly manipulative. Twisting his words to confuse you.

Chase

Chase has the least experience in this department.

I think he would underestimate just what it's like to be with someone who has autism, leaving him unprepared.

He doesn't get why you refuse to use a specific blanket, or why you won't eat your favorite food just because it's a different brand.

Chase is an argumentative and controlling yandere, so he may see them as you just being disobedient at first.

It would take a few breakdowns on your part for him to realize just how much these things effect you.

He would try to be more understanding, but he slips up a lot.

One thing he will push you to a lot would be social situations.

He wants that picture perfect relationship, which includes you going to stuff with him.

He does try to give you forewarning about events and some alone time before and after, but if you embarrass him during you better be ready to deal with the yelling when you get home.

[mania-sama]

A Look into Mental Health: Jujutsu Kaisen Analysis

"Being a child is not a sin." (Nanami Kento, Jujutsu Kaisen)

With the release of Chapter 251, I've seen many horrible takes from dudebros saying that Megumi has "sold" the team. This makes me unreasonably angry because of course it does, so obviously my next plan of action is to take all of my hour-long rants about the mental health of JJK characters and put it here, where said dudebros will never see my (correct) analysis in their entire life. Oh well.

One thing Gege is really, really good at is creating believable, undeniably human, and complex characters. Every character has a different set of motivations, beliefs, ideals, and especially mental states. The constant theme of Jujutsu Kiasen has been "Strength vs Weakness". While the clearest interpretation can be seen through the physical attributes of the characters (Gojo being the strongest sorcerer of his time due to his abilities, and Miwa being one of the weakest, again, due to her abilities), it is also directly applied to the mental strength of characters. No two characters are able to withstand the same trauma and come out the exact same, just as no two real people can process the same trauma. Not only is it a result of nature, as people are genetically different and therefore process information differently, but a product of nurture - in other words, character motivation and environment.

This is where we come to the current state of the manga, Chapter 251. The fated Yuuji vs Megumi debate. I keep seeing people wildly misunderstanding these two, and why it's so important that Megumi isn't standing up to fight, why he isn't able to handle his trauma, when Yuuji can.

Gege writes phenomenal characters. And I want to express just how well done they are, making Jujutsu Kaisen actually kind of deserve its popularity, because some people only care about power scaling. I'm going to touch on Megumi last, because understanding all of the other characters' makes his visible struggle that much more impactful.

1. Geto Suguru

I want to start this mental health analysis with Geto. He is the best representation of depression I've ever seen in Shonen. It doesn't take a hundred chapters to showcase a character's downfall. It doesn't take a hundred significant events to cause a character to break down. Gege shows the best, realistic mental breakdown using only a handful of chapters, and still makes it slow and painful.

Depression can start because of a big event, but it doesn't take more for it to worsen. Untreated, depression runs a vicious course that eats a person through slowly but effectively. It isn't one screaming session, hands clutched over the head and cursing God and the world. It's everything piled onto each other. It's coming to the end of that pile and realizing that nothing will ever change.

This is Geto Suguru's story. He has a big event: the fight with Toji and the failure to save Riko. But his mental health journey was fated to decline, even without the fight and failure. The root issue of his depression came from his ability: Cursed Spirit Manipulation. As long as he kept devouring the embodiment of every vile, human emotion, the more he would lose himself to that vileness. He wasn't changing anything; he couldn't help but continue to swim in negativity because that's all he could do.

Gege wasn't making a commentary on Geto's ability. He was talking about people, as they are, and how staying in a bad situation will not always make you stronger. It can, and most likely will, make you worse. A direct comparison to the sixteen-year-old Geto would be a sixteen-year-old at school, surrounded by people who bully and pick on them with harsh words. The kid will eventually consume all of that bullying, all of that negativity, into their being, because there is simply nowhere else to go. School is mandatory; they can't just leave. They eventually feel isolated, with all that vileness piled on. Even if they have friends, those people could never understand what it's like to put up with humiliation and cruelty day after day.

It's not rational to push away a support system, but who said human beings are always rational? People make mistakes. They don't make the right decisions. Geto didn't. He saw someone offer him a chance at change, a possible light at the top of his pile and twisted it to match his overwhelming negativity. He left and swore to destroy the world that made him the way he is, just as that bullied child may turn away from school and society in whatever form that may take.

I want to touch on the physical aspects of Geto's depression, too. I noted this in a previous analysis I did on him (his character is just that amazing, what can I say?), but Gege knew that the mind can't be affected alone. Geto was drawn with deep eyebags, a nod to an inability to sleep or needing to sleep all the time. Depression makes you tired all the time. Everything becomes difficult. He sits with his back hunched, resting his weight on his knees, like sitting upright is too hard. When someone speaks to him, he blinks and takes a second too long to look over or respond, like speaking takes too much energy. To me, it even looked like he was becoming thinner. It's extremely difficult to maintain a schedule of exercise and mealtimes when your mind is fighting an active war against itself.

Again, a beautiful representation of depression. Geto means a lot to me in this aspect.

2. Gojo Satoru

In comparison to Geto, Gojo's horrible mental health is a lot subtler. Depression isn't the correct term, but you don't have to be depressed to be sad. Sadness is his stagnant state; he has moments of bliss, goals to work towards, a reason to keep going, to continue living, to continue chasing the sun over the horizon, but he does return to the same place he is always at when the lights turn off and he's painfully reminded of this one fact: he is isolated.

All of Gojo's problems start and end with isolation. From the moment he was born, everyone knew he was different. He knew he was different. Through glimpses of his childhood and honestly reading between the lines, it's obvious he never played with kids his age. People don't just develop a superiority complex with their only drive to be better than literally everyone else for no other reason than to get better. It comes from somewhere, and in Gojo's case, it's from his young childhood. It seriously messed him up; even now, he can't shake the lesson that "Strength is the only way to success and happiness".

This is what made Geto so important. Geto was somebody who could share the burden of being the strongest. Geto was someone his age who understood him in a way Shoko could not, though they both were able to see Gojo beyond his capabilities as a Jujutsu sorcerer. Gojo then had somebody to base his moral principles on. Because he couldn't connect with anybody else, he had no basis other than strength. Geto taught him why it was important for the strong to protect the weak.

Then everything went wrong. Gojo became isolated again in his strength and lost the only person who could plausibly stand with him. "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?" Gojo was young, then, and fresh-faced into his newfound godhood. He didn't kill Geto in that moment because he wanted to deny the claim that he is nothing without his strength, that he isn't as shallow as he was raised to be.

But he knew better. He grew older, he killed his best friend, and he realized that he was nothing without his strength. He never got over Geto. In order to cope with the guilt of being unable to save him when he left, he adopted a whole kid, thinking that if he wasn't strong enough to save Geto, maybe he could save Megumi. But there it is all over again - he never broke from the cycle of strength defining his worth. Saving Megumi would define his strength, right? It would prove Geto wrong, right? He raised Megumi under the same logic (that the only way to save his sister is to be strong), only ridding the boy of the crushing isolation.

In this way, Gojo isn't mentally weak. He didn't abandon society and everyone who loved him, instead choosing to hone the trauma of his isolated childhood into a weapon and teach the next generation to be better than himself. He isn't depressed, but he isn't happy. You can't be happy if you're alone all of the time. He hoped Megumi could be someone to stand by him, but in the end, he failed to save Megumi. His strength couldn't save him, just as it couldn't save Geto.

He isn't mentally strong. He isn't weak, either. He is horribly, painfully average. He's not weak enough to be saved, but not strong enough to save others. His childhood plagues him, but not to the point where it prevents him from living. He killed Geto but was unable to bury the body. Gojo is everything he never wanted to be.

As it turns out, strength can't buy you happiness. Gojo may have understood that, but he couldn't abandon it, even to the bitter end. Just as a human struggles to shed their conditioning. Not everyone can break the cycle, but we are always trying our best to work with what we've been dealt.

3. Okkotsu Yuuta

I'm putting Yuuta in between Gojo & Geto and Itadori & Megumi because he is, in a way, a bridge between the two. Geto and Gojo have lived their lives; their stories are complete and ended in tragedy. Itadori and Megumi's are not. They are still actively struggling and fighting their physical and mental battles; their stories have yet to be completed.

Yuuta's story isn't technically completed (ignoring everything that happened in the recent chapter with him for the sake of MY mental health), he is still a success story. He is the average protagonist who started from the bottom and ended up at the top. Only he, as Gege has done time and time again, has a slightly stronger focus on mental health than most other Shonen. He is success where Gojo & Geto failed, and the success that Itadori & Megumi are narratively striving for.

At the beginning, Yuuta was depressed and suicidal. He was bullied at school and involuntarily hurting others. Instead of becoming resentful of the world, he pushed all of the vileness inward. His guilt caused him to try to take his life, presumably multiple times, but Rika stopped him before he could succeed. His life was effectively out of his hands; he felt powerless with all of the bodies stacking around him, and he couldn't atone for "his" actions.

His mental health, as it was, was in shambles. Gojo then offered him a way forward. Yuuta's mental health did not improve overnight. It was when he made friends at Jujutsu High, and developed a support system, that he was able to relieve his anxiety and realize that life is not so bad after all. That all of this pain and suffering and loss - it will pass.

The most important thing to acknowledge when it comes to Yuuta is the sheer fact that he was not alone, nor did he allow himself to be alone. Unlike Gojo, who still had Shoko and Nanami after Geto left but refused to connect with them, Yuuta allowed himself to get close to those around him. They didn't know the suffering he'd undergone for so many years. They didn't know what it was like to be him, but that was okay. He knew that they had empathy, that even though they could never experience his life, they could still be there for him now when he falls.

When given the opportunity to surrender, Yuuta stands in the face of one Geto Suguru and swears to protect his friends and fight with Rika. He's so far removed from the boy who tried to kill himself at the beginning of the manga, and that's because he let himself be changed. He did not succumb. He had friends, he knew. People that would miss him if he left, and people whom he would regret leaving.

This stays consistent with his character. He doesn't let himself become isolated in his strength or his experiences. He's much stronger than everyone else in the room, he's a special grade and he knows that, but he still treats everyone like they are equals. Like they are his friends, like they are people who could share this burden of existence with him. This is something that Gojo couldn't accomplish, which lends to the fact that Gojo had a very off-hand teaching method when it came to mentoring Yuuta. Instead of influencing him under this idea of strength conquers all, he let Yuuta develop far away from the ideals of the Japanese Jujutsu Society.

And, in the end, the fact of him being physically strong - a special-grade sorcerer from the get-go - never helped him in his mental health. In fact, it made him miserable until he learned to get a handle on Rika. His winning or losing that fight with Geto wasn't the point of his character, it was reckoning with the fact that he is okay now. That he can embrace the ugly part of him with dignity instead of guilt.

4. Itadori Yuuji

Itadori's entire character is that he has an unbreakable spirit. As the only one who can bear the soul of Sukuna, he started off like Yuuta, only on the opposite end of the mental health spectrum. When we first see him, he's happy, spending his afternoons with the Occult Club and watching movies.

... What happened?

Like Geto, everything piled on very slowly. So slow that I'm not even sure he felt the true effects of everything he experienced up until the fall of Shibuya. It starts with the death of grandfather, whose parting words "Just save as many people as you can" haunt him even now during the final fight with Sukuna. He was never given time to properly grieve his grandfather, just as he never had time to grieve the brother curses, Junpei, Nanami, Nobara, Gojo, Higurama. At the end of it all, when the fighting is over, I have to wonder what will become of the boy that realizes he's lost most of the people he loved.

The one time he did try to process it, when he realized that he couldn't control Sukuna, was when he broke down in Shibuya. Sukuna leveled an entire city. For the boy who never wanted to kill another human being for fear of devaluing life, the weight of his weakness killing thousands was crushing. Then Nanami died. Nobara died (still hanging onto that unknown status but I digress). Both are right in front of him, and powerless to prevent Mahito from disintegrating their bodies. So, obviously, Itadori broke down. The boy with the unshakeable spirit, the only person who could contain the King of Curses, has his psyche completely shattered.

He laid on the ground, and he wouldn't have gotten back up if there wasn't somebody to help him, to be there with him. Todo pulled him back together, stitched back up the broken into somebody who has allies and people to fight for. Itadori has the success that Yuuta had, only Itadori did not come out of it with better mental health.

After the breakdown, his unshakeable spirit was nothing more than the will to keep fighting. He cares little for himself, and he tries to distance himself from people to prevent them from dying from his cursed hands. He is jumping, quickly, down the same rabbit hole that Geto fell down. One big event, and they realize just how tall the pile already is, and that it will never stop growing. Unlike Geto, however, he continues to get overbearing support from those around him. Against his will. He can't push them away, for they refuse to leave his side. Yuuta, Choso, Megumi, even Higurama. They won't let him fall. This makes him better off than someone alone, in a sense. He can withstand his trauma when others may not.

Even so, even so, there is only so much support, the lack of self-isolation, can do when the traumas keep actively repeating. When he says that he will gladly die to defeat Sukuna, it is not said with the same tone that another Shonen protagonist would say it. Take Naruto for example. If he were to go into a battle to protect, say, Sasuke, he would scream, "I'll die to protect him." We understand that his willpower is stronger than his self-preservation, but we don't get the idea that he actively wants to die. He'll die if he has to. Now, Itadori says the same thing, but about saving Megumi. He says, "I'll gladly die." There is something different. His willpower is leaps and bounds stronger than his self-preservation, but that's not only it. There is an undercurrent of severe suicidal ideation prevalent in Itadori's tone. It's not that he will die to win, it's that a part of him wants for this to be his final fight. For it all to be over. To save Megumi, then atone for the sin of being too weak to save Shibuya, or being unable to stop the Culling Games, or letting Megumi get hurt when all he wanted was to keep him safe.

I'd call it more along the lines of passive suicidal ideation. He doesn't plan to kill himself, but what would it mean for him to go into dangerous situations without protection? What would it mean for him to succumb to his wounds after he wakes Megumi's soul and kills Sukuna? To not even try to seek medical attention? He's guilty. He believes everything that happened in Shibuya and after is his fault. When faced with the executioner's sword, he was ready to die for his sins, if not for the goal of ending the Games. There is a fine line between willing to die for those you love versus wanting to die for those you love.

Right now, Itadori is fighting to save one person, like his grandfather said. He is not fighting to survive. And that's what people fail to understand about Itadori when they compare him to the other members of the cast. These power-scaling dudebros don't understand that their favorite OP main character has fallen apart at the seams, that his unshakeable spirit to save people doesn't include himself.

5. Fushiguro Megumi

Here we finally come to the question: Why can Itadori take it when Megumi can't? There is a very similar quote that you probably think of whenever you hear this question asked. It's from The Outsiders: "Dally is tougher than I am. Why can I take it when Dally can't?" The answer to this question that Ponyboy gives is the same we can attribute to Megumi. "And then I knew. Johnny was the only thing Dally loved. And now Johnny was gone."

The entire reason Megumi became a Jujutsu sorcerer was to protect his sister. When he was five years old and probably too young to understand most of the words Gojo said, he accepted the offer of training to become a sorcerer in exchange for Tsumiki's happiness. Every day, he fought to protect her. He only had one goal in entering the Culling Games: to prevent Tsumiki from having to participate.

It's easy to attribute Megumi's constant attempts at summoning Mahoraga to a lack of will to live - suicidal ideation, the same that Itadori now experiences. On one hand, I do understand that he has a fundamental lack of care for his own life, but on the other, I don't think that he intends to throw it all away every single time. He just didn't know any better. Ignorance can lead to death as easily as intentionally seeking it out. That's why he changes his habit after Gojo gives him a lesson in risking death versus dying to win; Megumi still has someone to live for, after all.

Megumi's mental health was already rocky from the start. Not that it was in shambles like Yuuta, but he wasn't fully stable. Like a lot of teenagers, he's moody, somewhat reclusive, and only really likes one or two people maximum. Teenagers aren't known for their sunshine mental health anyway.

Megumi was given time to grieve Itadori after he first died. This trauma of losing him in front of his eyes stuck with him, but he was allowed a grace period of two months to grieve with Nobara. He experienced Shibuya, too, but he still had that one important person to protect. His mental health was alright at this point, all things considered. As long as his sister was alive, he would be fine.

Sukuna knew this. So Sukuna killed Tsumiki using only the Ten Shadows Teqchnique. The one person Megumi spent his whole life dedicated to, was killed by his own cursed technique, his own failure to suppress Sukuna.

In the void of his soul, Megumi was alone. Truly, utterly alone. The only person nearby was Sukuna, the murderer of his sister, the murderer of thousands upon thousands of people. He drowned in the ceremonial bath of crushed curses to hold his soul down in the depths of despair, literally drenched in all of the vileness the world has to offer. Sukuna killed Gojo using Mahoraga's adaption ability, and before that, Megumi was forced to take several of Gojo's mind-altering domain expansions.

Already, he had given up. He gave up when his sister died, but the rest ground a pointed spur into his neck. When Itadori shakes his soul, Megumi is repeating, "That's enough." He was at the end of his rope a long time ago. What more is there to keep living for? He doesn't want to live with the blood of his sister, the blood of the man who practically raised him, and the blood of countless others drenching his hands.

Sukuna killed all of these people, not Megumi. But then, Sukuna killed of those people in Shibuya, not Itadori. Why can Itadori take it? Why can he keep fighting when Megumi lays broken on the ground? Itadori wasn't alone. And Megumi has never been known for his unshakeable spirit. That is the one thing that Itadori can hold over everybody else, the one trait that everyone admires. He was born to shoulder the burden of the world. Megumi wasn't. Megumi wants to die. He is not passively suicidal, for he has no goals left to complete, a plan to die within the body no longer inhabited alone. He is suicidal. He would drive a stake through his heart if it meant relieving his pain. He doesn't want to do it anymore. He's had enough.

And Itadori was in this position once, too? Perhaps not as directly, but he was there. Here is the moment that the protagonist gives the motivating speech to will someone to keep fighting, that life is worth living. I realized today that this is not something Itadori has done yet. He hasn't had a grand speech that's not been about his own willpower. He's never encouraged someone else to keep living in the way that you would expect from the main character. This is his moment, I suppose. He needs to be the person for Megumi that Todo was for him. He has to show Megumi that he isn't alone.

He needs to save Megumi when, all those years ago, Gojo couldn't save Geto.

I don't think some of this fanbase understands how horrible Gege has to be at writing if he just. Let Megumi get up to fight in Chapter 251. All this time, he has shown how Megumi has been defeated. He showed him crumbled on the ground, unmoving. It shouldn't be a surprise that all of the measures Sukuna took to ensnare Megumi's soul worked. Megumi is suicidal after the people he loves have all died because of his technique. God forbid a sixteen-year-old is unable to cope with his trauma alone.

Honorable Mentions:

There are a lot more characters in this story that represent/show mental illness that I didn't go into depth on but are worth mentioning. It was easier to only talk about the major characters since we spend so much time with them and I can fully flesh out everything that should/can be said about them. Anyway, here are a few more that are notably well-written in their mental struggles:

Yoshino Junpei. His story arc follows very similarly to Geto, except he is the bullied student I was making a reference to. Depressed, alone with a mother whose habits he can't stand, he turned to someone he thought could provide him a better life. Interestingly, he is a good representation of the type of children that tend to be groomed. That's surely what happened to him. Mahito used him, then discarded him for his own gains.

Ieiri Shoko. Her main struggle can be seen through her smoking habits. She's been through a lot, lost so many people, and has to keep healing sorcerers only for them to die. Eventually, she was able to come to terms with this. She kicked her smoking habit at the same time she kicked the vicious mental cycle of caring too much about the patient on her table. It's no wonder she picked up a cigarette, for the first time in a while, when Geto led the phantom parade.

Zenin Maki. She works as a very good contrast to Megumi. They both lost their sisters, the people they loved the most, but she turned all of her grief to killing the Zenin clan and gaining Heavenly Restriction. But this, this is because she could do so. There is simply nothing Megumi can do as a soul trapped in his own body. Her grief made her stronger, while for most, it made them weaker.

Inumaki Toge. He isn't seen a lot, but his story is ultimately quite compelling. A boy who hurt many when he was young. He turned his guilt into kindness, a will to protect. He tends a garden to raise plants healthily, for God's sake. He's one of the examples that shows Yuuta that your past actions don't define you, but instead, what you choose to do going forward.

I am not proofreading any of this before I post it. Sorry if it is borderline unreadable with spelling / grammatical errors.

[suguru-getos]

— hawks hit by a yandere quirk —

-> warnings: yandere themes, mentions of feather blade cuts, completely delulu hawksie, toxic love (ofc its yandere), fem! reader, mentions of self h@/rm scars. mentions of slight choking, degradation, shock and breakdown. it’s dark, okay? stay off of it if you don’t like it. loads and loads and loads of word vomit ahead and not beta’d.

all you could hear was the rumbling and the faint noises that echoed from the tv. the main pro heroes like hawks, endeavor, dynamight were caught in a nuisance and your heart was thumping out loud for your boyfriend. it’s been 2 months only, that keigo and you started dating, hell you’ve never even been to his apartment yet.

why?

it’s… complicated

you’re one of the renouned pop idols of japan and had been writing songs dedicated to hawks. yes— you fell first and he fell harder. during one of the award functions hawks was quick to catch a-hold of you, which turned into a one night stand— which turned into you telling him to leave because you couldn’t accept a hero like hawks wanting to be with a quirkless woman. which turned into a few unreleased songs and eventually— you and keigo together.

this time though? you couldn’t care less, you really wanted to check if hawks was doing okay and drove to the hospital he was in. he was — okay. for the most part? a few scratches here and there, a few feathers missing but your man never looked better. what you didn’t know is how mentally he wasn’t okay. under the effect of several mutated quirks, one of them being the yandere one.

how could you sense it really? well— it was in plain fucking sight! the way hawks possessively grabbed you and kissed you, uncaring of who’s watching in the damned hospital & glaring daggers with his marked pupils when you so much so flinched the wrong way. it was visible that he wasn’t okay.

“eh, babe- what if someone sees us?” you tried to squirm away from his iron grip, being straddled on his lap like his favorite toy. “and?” keigo sounded, almost uninterested, annoyed at your statement.

“then we’d have a ruckus…” you gulped, clearing your throat, trying your best to understand what actually was going wrong.

hawks took a pause, his pupils scanning you and ended up in a long sigh. “you’re right babygirl, let’s just go to my apartment.”

you widened your eyes a little, ‘his’ apartment? he’s never taken you there, not even once! why the sudden change of heart? “alright!” you managed to answer, curiosity taking over you as you let keigo carry you princess style in the high skies and eventually in his balcony.

“s’ not much, definitely doesn’t feel as homely as yours but it’s what it is.” keigo led you inside, while you noticed how ikea-ish the whole vibe was. nothing was displaced, everything felt unreal and uninhabitable. reminded you of the fact that keigo doesn’t stay in his apartment much.

the next moment again, took you off guard. landing right on the bed on keigo’s lap, soft tender kisses starkly contrasting from his hands which hovered all over your body, not leaving any square inch of you untouched with his carnal, almost dangerous growls rendered you speechless, and slightly uncomfortable.

“ngh- AH keigo- easy there,” you whimpered when his teeth nibbled at your bottom lip, unable to find time to breathe properly. hawks wanted you and you were unable to keep up with his predator instincts.

“what?” he leaned back, hands wrapping themselves around your neck suddenly, squeezing them gently. “do you not want to be loved, kid?” of course it wasn’t a question, keigo sounded offended with your predicaments.

“no- no, its not like that you’re just behaving weirdly.” you managed to utter honestly, when another hand squeezed your face, golden eyes daggering and glowering at your form as keigo pecked your forced puckered lips. “then act like you’re enjoying being worshipped yeahh? i love you after all.”

of course he loved you, even you didn’t doubt that; for now atleast—

what was making you anxious was how nauseating his love felt right now. how it made you feel insignificant, insecure, pathetic.

when you feel weird, you act weird. maybe it was your mistake with how you acted��� and lied to hawks, to get rid of him. you just needed space from him.

“i think i should let you rest, yeah?” a sugarcoated lie that you wanted to flee from him, gave you a sugarcoated answer from keigo. “i can rest while you’re here, can’t i?”

keigo hugged you again, suffocating you with his large wings covering you up, and not letting a single speck of light pass. “ye-yeah.” you were growing more nervous by the moment.

“you know? i’ve thought about some things. how you’re busy, in the studio, with other people, with fans, shooting ad commercials,” keigo paused, uncocooning you and glaring at you softly, as if he feels betrayed.

“huh?” you couldn’t say anything to that— yes you were, but that’s your job!

“what if i get rid of everyone and keep you to myself.” keigo smirked, watching your expressions change to half disgust, half anxious as you forced a chuckle.

“n-no? you’re the number 2 hero after all!” you smiled, trying to balm the wound his words gave you all by yourself. maybe any reassurance would help at the moment.

“mhm, and who said? heroes are all white with no grey areas? and, can’t be morally fucked?” boy— now you were losing your damn mind. you knew keigo never talk like this after all.

“uhm,” you managed to conjure up another lie. “i uh, forgot to feed my cat. i gotta go”

pathetic— poor and disgusting, that’s how your lie felt to hawks. siren eyes glaring at you as if you know, that he knows. you’re fucking lying. that feeling itself made you uncomfortable. hawks paused— clearing his throat, “you visited the hospital which means you had already fed him before going out. besides— didn’t he have an automatic feeder?”

“ye-yeah but i forgot to put food in it.”

“don’t be silly, dove” hawks cooed, glaring knives and hatred at your lies. “i saw you fill it 2 days back.”

before you could say anything else, his hand squeezed your throat, still careful and haven’t gone completely off the edge. “why’re you lying to me? do you want to meet someone else behind my back and whore around? like you do in award shows? click pathetic pictures with heroes for the camera and attention while i WATCH WHAT’S MINE BEING TOUCHED BY SOMEONE ELSE?”

you flinched, resisting and pushing him away after witnessing the heat of his rage first hand. “no- what the fuck’s wrong with you i’d never! i’ve written songs for you do you have no respect for me?” your voice also rose a few octaves, but hawks’ grip was relentless, pushing you on the mattress face first with an unbearable grip on your neck which you can’t get up from.

you felt powerless in the most disgusting, self hating way. if only you hadn’t been quirkless— if only—

you tried to push your way up, causing a knuckle crack that sounded loud enough to scare hawks, his hold left you immediately and he was surrendered on his knees, feathers splayed down on the floor with panic struck eyes. “fuck fuck fuck- are you okay?” he mumbled, holding your hand and looking at you with downpours of guilt you could swear was fake.

“m’ fine i’m not made of glass.” now your helplessness against someone as powerful as him was proving to enrage you. eyes daring to glare back at the absolute manipulative powerhouse of a man. “i want to leave.”

it was like a switch flipped in hawks, one moment he was kneeling down, the other moment he was up again, dominating you through your very core, pinning your wrists to the bed as he clicked his tongue. you could tell his patience was running thin.

“here’s what’s gonna happen— kid, you’re not moving anywhere for shit. and to remind you that you can’t go anywhere, and who exactly you belong to, i’ll mark you up, yeah?” stray plumes emerged from his wings as they ripped off your t shirt, uncaring, unflinching and unbothered of the littering papercuts that oozed out blood from your body.

“please- please no no- no i don’t consent to this you’re FUCKING SICK what’s wrong with you!” your anxiety ravaged your mind, bile rising up your throat as you felt the pain of being his all at once. hawks’ ignorant eyes as if he’s dealing with a child having a temper tantrum was chilli flakes to your wounds.

quickly, as if you breathing more was a waste of time, hawks yanked your wrist close to his, feather blade sharp and precise as he drew a line above one of your self harm scars, eventually completing the “K” of keigo.

by then you were begging, praying, chanting for him to stop, hawks wanted you to suffer, deliberately gliding his blade across your skin slowly, making you feel the ripping of your skin tissue, ignoring your pleads and how you don’t ‘consent’, who asked for your consent anyways? you were nothing more than a toy to stomp and play around with. punish if you don’t submit. hawks was sure to get that message through your skull.

with a little, complimentary mercy, he wrote the rest of his name quickly on your hand, maybe he was getting annoyed at your begging, or maybe he did feel bad. all you knew was he never loved you.

“there we go, nice and pretty,” sadistically, he licked off the strip of blood from your wrist, and you could swear you saw him kiss your self harm scars, a flash of the previous aftercare memory maybe.

tears flowing through your eyes and shock enough to supress the smallest sniffles, you kept staring at your hand. unlucky for hawks— when he gets off the effects of whatever the quirk that got ahold of him was, he’d never be able to hold you again.

you were beyond numb, why wouldn’t you be? it was a reminder that you dated the wrong man— and maybe you should be punished for it. or will you really be able to accept that it was a quirk? keigo would never do this to you, but hawks did and relished it. maybe it’s better to lose them both.

and you will, when hawks gets back to his senses and gives you his pathetically constructed apology, you will realize maybe— for a quirkless, normal human being, dating the #2 hero was the biggest mistake of your life.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu OVA - Book 3, Dragon Mountain [PART 2]

Goultard's canonical gay husband is literally looking like a loaf of bread.

[pointing at the screen and clapping] This used to be Goultard's gay lover. [salutes to the biggest hero of doomed yaoi]

Please... Translate the manga... I believe in you, scanlation team that is currently doing that!

[boos]

LEORICTUS WARCRIME ENABLER ATE PINPIN'S ARM LMAOO

the face of an arm-eater....

Ngl I wish it was 'Salar who did this. Because then I could make unfunny jokes about Joris.

I'm sure that Joris isn't feeling in any way suicidal or despaired about the fact that internally he agreed with Adamai but let Yugo do this because Yugo is based and stuff. Surely he isn't having a fucking mental breakdown.

THEY PUT ME IN A ROOM FULL OF RATS. AND RATS MAKE ME CRAZY.

By which I mean, in a room full of distraught civilians, of course Kerubim's main concern is his brother.

He probably feels so powerless... Joris is gone and he has no idea if he is okay. He can't even console Atcham, because this situation is completely out of their control.

BUT THEN HE COLLECTS HIMSELF, VISIBLY SHAKING HIS HEAD IN SOME SORT OF INTERNAL ARGUMENT.

He knows he's the one who has to give people hope — his family, and the people around him, he can't let them spiral into panic. It's one of the few things he can do, at times like these.

Also, at the sound of Kerubim's voice, Atcham opens his eyes to look at him. Hngfhngnhnnghnfnhnn

He is doing so well in the "not losing his mind because he's the only one in his family who can do that" department... He's always been good at this.

I am now an Ankama hater because they won't show us Joris's despaired face at the realization of their impending doom.

I WILL TAKE CRUMBS THANK YOU.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I'M INSANE.

Goultard not mentioning missing his dead ex husband after seeing him is an intant -5 points to this OVA.

I want to give a shout-out to @bitter-panacea because his Goultard takes are so good. It really gave me a new appreciation for the character, and I can't stop smiling at his behaviours here. A wonderful creature.

tiny

Atcham seems to be the first to hear the return of Yugo and Tristepin.

Joris might not necessarily be the second one to notice, considering we only see his face zoomed in, though.

Still, he looks pretty in these 2 screenshots, so I'm including them.

Need this frame injected intravenously.

[Laughs in Wakfu The Great Wave Manga] [Laughs in Season 4] [Laughs in Waven]

Not Kerubim and Atcham standing a polite "we don't know him" distance from Joris 😭

(Personally, I think they're standing a little far from him because he's technically in the middle of fulfilling his diplomatic duties, and currently standing next to a king...)

Of course the Brotherhood of Tofu's biggest fan has a huge happy grin on his face during this... :D

It's very cute how happy he is. There isn't much not to be happy about: Besides his two friends getting married, the good news is that the Chaos of Ogrest has been stopped, almost nobody had to die (we don't know the fatality rate of the meteorites that got dropped to WoT), AND nobody he cares about died.

[wandaspetal]

An Island Made From Love

𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: Marvel/MCU

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬)/𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩(𝐬): Wanda Maximoff x Reader, mentions of Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova (platonic), and Kate Bishop x Wanda Maximoff (platonic)

𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞: Established Relationship

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.4K+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of death (no one actually died though I’m not heartless) , Mental breakdowns, panic attacks, mention of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, crying, angst with a happy ending, VERY GAY AND FLUFFY AT THE END I PROMISE

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You make your island flag in animal crossing Wanda’s crown.

𝐀𝐍: Reader uses they/them pronouns! This is very much partially based on me restarting my anch island and wondering how Wanda would react after a hard day….I’m mentally ill shush.

Wanda had been having the worst day. The team’s mission went south very fast. Hydra began implanting bombs inside their base’s so that in the case if they are ever found they can destroy the evidence of them being there. Soldiers waited outside for them with military grade weapons. The Hulk went into a fit of rage, Clint almost lost an arm and Natasha was almost crushed by rubble. Wanda was able to push herself hard enough to use her magic to make sure Natasha and her got out of the building quick enough.

They were the only ones left inside as the rest of the team fought everyone outside. After everything was said and done the ride on the quinjet back to the compound was silent. Even a small cough had an apology following suit behind it. Wanda is surprised she didn’t cry the same way Kate did as Yelena held her on the way back. The brunette simply placed a comforting hand on Kate’s back on the way home.

Wanda Maximoff had lost so many people in her life and this was another reminder of why she had to keep them out the way. The team can protect themselves. Y/n, a barista at a family owned coffee shop–one they barely work at anymore because their rich girlfriend takes care of them and Tony and the team randomly throws money and gifts their way. But that’s besides the point. The team is strong with super powers or serums or martial arts and knows how to use weapons. Y/n makes the threat that anything can be a weapon yet they ironically apologize whenever they bump into a chair, table, etc.

The mere thought of losing them the same way she almost lost half the team today nearly sent Wanda into a spiral. She convinced herself to hold on and remain strong.

Once they landed everyone was sent off to med bay, visible injury or not. Wanda had a scar on her brow and a cut on her nose and a sprained wrist. Both her arms were sore but she didn’t think that was worth mentioning. After leaving medbay she informed Jarvis to tell the team she went to see Y/n if they asked where she went.

Wanda didn’t bother driving a car, she stepped outside and immediately teleported inside Y/n’s apartment. The Sokovian wasn’t allowed to do that anymore after she scared them but she couldn’t help herself as she was on the verge of shaking from overstimulation.

“Wanda is that you?!”

“Y-Yeah!” She already felt tears coming to her eyes at hearing your voice but quickly blinked them away.

“Oh! Come look and see!!” Y/n exclaimed happily.

Wanda smiled and quickly walked pass the small foyer and to the living room. Her shoulders relaxed at the sight of her partner gazing at the TV that displayed her animal crossing game on it. She walked over and sat down on the couch.

“I restarted my island and it took like five times but I finally got villagers that aren’t ugly!” They squealed with joy.

Wanda placed her hands in her lap and smiled authentically at the screen. Y/n had already begun decorating the island and including as much villager homes as possible. There was customized pathing on the beach and grass.

“I named it Westview because you know…we said we wanted to move there.” Y/n’s voice grew quieter as their shyness increased. They shrugged. “And yeah…”

Wanda turned her head and reached out her to tuck their hair behind their ear. “That’s nice, I like it.”

Y/n blushed then cleared their throat. “Oh! Also the flag!! Look, look, look!!” They still hadn’t looked at Wanda as they could not turn their attention off the screen. Not even a bowl of the best pasta in the world could take their focus off their hyper fixation right now.

Wanda turned her head back towards the screen, still twirling their strand of hair between her two fingers. She dropped her hand at the sight of the flag that blew in the wind at the airport. It was her head piece. The one that she didn’t like at first but Y/n adored because it suited her so well. And because Y/n adored it Wanda slowly began to, too. Tony designed it for her after he heard her ranting about wanting more accessories for her costume the same way Nat and Steve did.

“I made it just for you!” They exclaimed.

“You made me a flag…with my head piece on it?” Wanda asked, her eyes glazing over with the tears she had been holding back since the mission ended.

Y/n beamed at the tv screen missing the full effect of their words. “Yeah! Because you’re my favorite person in the world and–“ They faltered and their brow furrowed with concern as they finally turned to look at the brunette. “Wanda, are you okay?” Y/n reached out and caressed her cheek with their palm as the witch begun to cry.

“I just love you…so much.” A lone tear trailed down her cheek. “You make me so happy…I-…today was awful and some of the team almost didn’t make it and it was so traumatizing and I just–” A much needed sob broke free from her mouth as she curled into Y/n’s warm embrace.

Y/n began to rock them side to side and soothingly rub their hand up and down Wanda’s back. “You’re safe now, let it all out.” Wanda sobbed harder than before, gripping on Y/n’s shirt for dear life. “I’m so sorry all of you had to go through that.” Wanda continued to cry as Y/n continued to speak.

They sat in silence until her sobs died down to sniffles and her eyes had stopped producing as much tears.

Y/n moved to pull away then stopped as Wanda whimpered. “Put your head up for me please.” Wanda complied, sitting up straight with their arms still around each other. “I love you.” Wanda felt another sob building up in her throat. “And I’m so so proud of you.” Another sob broke free but Y/n continued to speak as they wiped away Wanda’s tears. “Today was really hard and you did such a phenomenal job–yes you did.” Y/n reassured as Wanda began shaking her head. “You did a good job because you did your best.”

Wanda pulled away from their embrace, her body immediately felt the rush of cool air surrounding her. “I didn’t even tell Pietro where I was going, I just left and came straight here to you because I just felt so overstimulated and…and broken and scared.” Y/n nodded, holding their palms together. “And I know I did a great job but fuck why did my life have to be this way, I’m still here, I’m still the scared little girl who hid under a bed with her twin brother for 3 days after realizing our parents are gone and dead and…” She felt herself begin to descend into a panic and placed one hand on her chest and the other on her head. “I’m tired. I’m so tired.” She choked out.

Y/n took both Wanda’s hands in their own. “Baby, look at me, hey-” Their eyes met. “I’m right here, okay? Everything is okay now, the team is okay, your brother is okay and you are okay..you’re safe now.” Wanda blinked. Y/n brought Wanda’s hands to their chest and took a deep breath in then a deep breath out and continued this until Wanda began to follow suit.

It took five minutes until the normal color returned to Wanda’s cheeks and blood no longer felt like it was rushing to her ears. Y/n placed their hand on Wanda’s cheek, smiling as the witch sighed out of content. Wanda turned her head and kissed their hand before she spoke.

“Can you show me more of…Westview?” She asked softly while making eye contact.

“Only as long as you promise to move there with me…and also order us a pizza.” Y/n bit their lip and grinned as Wanda giggled.

“I promise.” Wanda took her phone out of her pocket and snuggled into Y/n’s side as the number for their favorite pizza place began to ring. “Extra cheese?” She hummed as Y/n kissed the top of her head.

“Sounds great.” They replied and began to decorate Westview as Wanda ordered them enough food to have leftovers for the next day.

[allastoredeer]

Hola deer I was wondering what are your thoughts of who might have Al on a leash…I know many people are speculating it to be Lilith, but I feel like There is no way Al had a whole breakdown song just for being Lilith lackeys. True it might be that he just wants his power back, but the idea of Lilith requesting Al to keep an eye on the hotel it’s not that bad per se. The way he reacted when Husk mentioned his leash, that was the face of a man who is terrified to lose control and making a deal with Charlie was his last remedy.

The man is desperate and I can’t stop thinking about the fact the he was already so powerful when he come to hell, And unless he met someone who had a lot of knowledge on the place before dying, I doubt he would have got the title of overlord that quickly. Someone must have helped him right?! Same with Lilith. As the story goes she became so very powerful when she feel in hell, but how? Do u just know what your power are and how to use them when u die? Lilith was the first of her kind to get down there, there was no one she could have taken inspiration from. And what about Al’s shadow? I mean what shadows have in correlation with a deer man with a microphone? To me it would make much more sense if when Al was alive, he got in contact with someone very powerful from hell and made the naive mistake to trust it. He sold his soul and he got shadows to help him through his murders, then Upon dying, he made a second mistake and momentarily forgot about his leash, going around and killing Overlords for his own entertainment, until he was called back to fulfill his end of the bargain.

My speculation is that root must have his soul and maybe even Lilith’s soul, or at least some kinda of deal with her, that got her to be the queen she is remembered as. Heaven is the only place where root eyes are not visible, and it might explain why Lilith disappeared for 7 years in the angel land , same as Al. Maybe Lilith helped Al in exchange of him taking care of his daughter for her or something, and while they were together Lilith might have accidentally influenced Al’s opinion on the king of hell as well, causing the man to hate him at first sight lol

Just imagining Lilith ranting about his ex husband to Alastor, like Charlie did about Vaggie, when they were going to cannibalism town it’s so funny to me.

I like the idea that She's just Luci's long-suffering wine mom friend who is amicably divorced from him and ends up gaining a second man child once Luci and Al get together. I think her being the villain it’s just too cliche and I feel like it would be so much better if she actually start bickering with Lucy, angry talking like two feral cats lol

But let me know what you think😆

I get why a lot of people are speculating that Lilith has Alastor on a leash, and I wouldn't be surprised (or upset) if she does, but I really think it's Roo.

Or, at least, I want it to be her so badly.

I agree that I don't think Alastor would have a mental breakdown over being Lilith's lackey. Honestly, I don't agree with whole idea/concept that Lilith is even the bad guy. Like, I won't be mad if she is, because I love corrupt or morally grey female characters, but I think there is so much more going on them meets the eye.

A lot of people saw that 5 second glimpse of her onscreen during the season finale and kind of just assumed she ditched Hell and her family to live it up in Heaven, but I just...that makes absolutely no sense to me, especially given how she's been depicted in the background during the show. Given what little we know about Lilith, I just cannot see her leaving Lucifer, Charlie, and her entire domain to go fuck around in Heaven, whom I imagine she wouldn't have a very good relationship with, anyway.

And yes! I also massively agree about Alastor getting his power from some kind of source. It was specifically stated that he was toppling Overlords and gaining power faster than anyone ever has before, and from what we can deduce from the show, Alastor has the power to actually kill sinners - which isn't supposed to be possible. The only way sinners are supposed to die is with angelic weaponry.

Not only that, it also hasn't been hinted or implied that anyone else has been able to rip apart souls like he does. As far as we've seen from the other Overlords, the most you can do is own someone's soul.

So we have Alastor over here rising to the top of the food chain almost over night, gaining power at a rapid pace, with abilities that no one else seems to have. Yeah, I 100% believe he made a deal with someone when he first came into Hell, and I think that person was Roo.

I mean, what motive would Lilith have for making a deal with this random sinner who just entered Hell? Out of the hundreds (if not thousands) of sinners who have to be arriving in Hell by the day? What would she have to gain by doing that? What could Alastor possibly offer her that she, the Queen of Hell, can't do herself?

But Roo? She's the Root of all Evil. She doesn't need a reason. She can be evil for the sake of being evil. I can see her picking a random, wide-eyed, recently deceased sinner and giving them the deal of a lifetime - one that she can cash in on later.

And even if it wasn't random, I can see her looking for a lackey to give power to, to then use as a pawn farther down the road. I can see her being cunning and careful with who she picks, and I 100% believe she would see Alastor's insecure ass and know that guy would do anything to get power (the faster the better), especially if he only just died and didn't yet understand the full scale and structure of Hell, and how serious those kinds of deals are.

(And I can also see Alastor making a deal with Roo when he was alive and then suffering the consequences of it when he died. That's be super cool.)

As for why, well, Roo obviously doesn't have much sway in Hell, despite being the Root of all Evil, because we don't see or hear about her at all throughout the show. If she had power over any of the 7 Rings, we would've seen it or heard about it. In fact, she's only been alluded to once, and that was in the first episode, during the opening sequence of Charlie explaining Hell's origin story.

Still, Roo has to interact with Hell in some way, considering she's the personification of evil and this is THE place for wickedness and corruption. I just don't think she has power or dominion there. At least, not yet ;)

I think she's been cooking up a scheme for a while and what we're seeing in season 1 is her slowly putting the game pieces into place. I think she has Alastor on a leash (that she's had him on a leash for a while but she's only just now using it), and I think she's also the reason Lilith is in Heaven.

I mean, when you think about it, of course she would want Lilith out of the picture if she's trying to make a power grab in Hell. Lilith was the one running the place. She thrived in Hell. She empowered it. So getting her out of the picture makes perfect sense, and who would even think to look for Lilith in Heaven? The very last place you'd expect her to be?

I don't know, the whole idea that Lilith is just a big bad evil women who doesn't care about her family and hates Hell and wants nothing to do with either of them just...it doesn't sit right. It doesn't make sense.

I do think that Lilith and Alastor have met each other in some way, though. The both of them disappearing for 7 years, at the same time, is too much of a coincidence (I want her and Alastor to be besties :3) and I just KNOW that there is more to Lucifer and Lilith's divorce than people give it credit for. I want those juicy details. I want a full blown argument between them so we can get that tea.

But if Lilith does end up being one of our antagonists in season 2, I won't be upset, cuz like I said, give me those morally corrupt women. They'll be loved and appreciated here.

Still, my gut says its Roo. And even if Roo isn't directly holding Alastor's leash, I think she's involved in some way and that she's going to be coming into play eventually. She seems like the type who would manipulate things from the shadows, using people as pawns, and playing a game that no one else even realizes they're playing. I want her to be a psychotic little mastermind trash lady.

I neeeeeeed it.

[active-mind-15]

Headcanons for Akashi when he's sad 😔

I did a cute one last night for Akashi laughing, so I thought I'd flip the script and break y'alls hearts rq with some headcanons I have for when Akashi isn't feeling all too great.

First of all, let's start with any canon material we have of Akashi being openly sad. There really isn't much. The only times we see him like that in the main series are at his mother's funeral as a child during that flashback, and then directly after he lost to Seirin. Even with the second instance, he tried to hold in his tears as best as he could and still put on a brave smile to go and shake hands with Kuroko. Aside from that, the only other instance I can think of is during the drama CD (season 3 volume 9) where he had a bit of an argument with Murasakibara.

Canonically, we know why he is almost never openly sad. With such high expectations placed on him by his father, the superintendents of Teiko, and even himself, showing sadness was a form of weakness. This is why, despite the fact that he was clearly overwhelmed with too much work throughout his entire childhood, he never complained. His father likely drilled that mentality into him to just suck it up and keep it pushing, because Akashi wasn't even allowed time to process his grief after losing his mother, the only support system he ever had. With this information in mind, let's get into my headcanons.

First of all, what makes Akashi upset? The first thing I can think of is his massive workload paired with the high expectations placed on him. There are probably some days when all of it is just too overwhelming and he gets stressed out, worried that he won't be able to handle it all. Whenever Akashi switches personalities in the series, it's always during a crucial basketball match. But I personally feel like if he's stressed with work all the time, he's constantly teetering on the edge of dissociating but ends up not. I can imagine him in his dorm after a long day of school trying to finish assignments late into the night, and he's desperately fighting to remain present and in the moment. It probably happens more than people think, and to avoid giving into his other self and letting him take over is something he has to do on a regular basis.

The second thing is when he feels like he hasn't been a good friend. Post-Winter Cup, Akashi tries really hard to reconnect with Kuroko and the other GoM more than he used to back in middle school. And given how he had to salvage his friendships with his former and current teams after almost ruining them both, post-Winter Cup Akashi is probably very insecure about his own ability to be a good friend to others. For example, in season 3 volume 9 of the drama CDs when he and Murasakibara had a quarrel, Murasakibara mentioned that Akashi had no idea how he felt at all before hanging up the phone. That comment stuck with Akashi, so much so that all three of the Uncrowned Kings noticed and essentially staged an intervention in the clubroom because Akashi looked so visibly bothered that it freaked them out. You can tell that he cares about his friends as well as what they think of him. He wants to be someone they can trust and depend on, but when he feels like he's missed the mark, he gets upset about it each and every time because, really and truly, he's trying his very best.

What does he look like when he's sad? The thing about Akashi is that he still sometimes has trouble letting himself be upset because he's busy and has no time for breakdowns (probably why he prefers to dissociate instead since he'd rather just detach himself from reality and not feel anything at all). As a result, he tends to bottle a lot of things up until they all spill out later, and I can see it manifesting in two ways.

1: panic attacks. With what this boy has been through, it would not surprise me in the slightest if he ever had panic attacks. If he somehow managed to avoid them throughout his entire childhood, then I think his first panic attack would come after losing the Winter Cup finals because this is the first time in his life he's ever lost at anything and he feels like his entire world is falling apart. He'd probably be hit with an overwhelming fear of what would happen to him after losing the finals, especially with how much his father emphasized victory and success over everything. And the idea of being a disappointment and disgracing his family name would probably just tear this poor boy apart. And these panic attacks are not pretty. He's hyperventilating and gasping through sobs that he desperately tries to quiet to no avail, and he trembles so badly that he can barely keep himself upright. Not good at all.

2: full system shutdown. Maybe I'm projecting my own personal experiences for this one, but I think if there was a day when he was just so stressed and tired or maybe he got news that was so devastating, his body would refuse to cope and he would just... switch off. That could mean sleeping in the middle of the day for long stretches of time because he can't handle being awake, and then when he is awake, his mind is static and he's totally nonverbal, normally for several hours. Also not good at all.

The only person who's ever seen him in the middle of either one of these types of breakdowns is Mibuchi. The first time was accidental because Akashi didn't have the foresight to lock the door at that moment. But after Mibuchi is able to calm him down/bring him back to reality, then for every time after, Akashi will actively seek out Mibuchi if he feels like he's on the verge of a breakdown. Eventually, he opens up about it to the other Uncrowned Kings and they're very supportive and tell Akashi to let them know if there's any way they can help him (he actually has to hold back tears for that).

I have a separate headcanon that post-Winter Cup Akashi eventually starts going to therapy because he realizes he could really use it, and so I would think with time, he develops better coping mechanisms and also knows how to calm himself down before getting to the point of a breakdown. (He still seeks Mibuchi out, though, cuz sometimes he just needs a hug. Is that so wrong?)

He also learns to just experience his emotions as they come and for what they are. Positive or negative, either way, all emotions are valid, and instead of hiding from sadness, you should feel it and then let it pass. Through that, he's able to make peace with himself and not be so hard on himself anymore.

Anyway, I have no idea where to end it, so I'll leave it here because I'm literally falling asleep as I write this. I need to go to bed. For anyone who I've punched in the gut with these headcanons... I'm not sorry. Bye now! ���

[moldwood]

For the cos dm ask I would like to ask literally all of them but I understand that might be a bit much so I'll just go for 6, 11, 13, and 18. But if you want to answer more of them I won't complain ♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

i have another ask for 11 so i'll save that one for them, but for the other three (added song links because i love connecting songs to characters heehoo):

6) Did you make any NPCs more sympathetic than in cannon? Or less sympathetic?

oh for sure. basically from what i've heard, i have turned every character in the module into a conduit for tragedy to hurt my players specifically. every npc got their "this is a 3 dimensional character" levels turned up to 11 if my players are to be believed. biggest examples of this:

lucian petrovich for suuuuure. imo he's already very sympathetic, i just gave him reasonable agoraphobia and a badass last stand at the feast of saint andral where he left the church in milivoj's name so that it still counted as property even if it wasn't sacred anymore since the players did not get the bones away from the vampire spawn. players cried and we had to take a break for an hour.

also the abbot. song #2 because i like him so much. my GUYY my fella my #1 sunlight smella. it's hard to say how he's more sympathetic because he's still just as stubborn and reacts less visibly to the pain he causes than the abbot in the module might, but i just made the mongrelfolk not be locked up and played on the part of him that is totally lost even if he can't/won't admit it and the players just won't kill him now. they won't even look into the things he's doing because they don't want to make it a situation where they have to

13) How did you play Strahd? What's his attitude towards the party, Ireena, the world in general?

hmm i would say i play him pretty much as described in the module. he can be intense, disappointed, smarmy, cunning, and content (but never sad or happy unless it comes to the hunt), and it's hard to say if anything he's doing at any moment is really him or a lie - or to take it a step further, if it's a lie to himself too. he hates the party right now. things are a mess for him so he's locked in on his connection to ireena more than before to stay """"stable"""" (as stable as strahd ever is). there is only one party member he would spare for their complicated history, and that's if they said the right things/rolled really good.

if i had to pick the strahd song of all time to get the feeling across for how i play him, it would be volatile times by iamx

18) Which NPC (or NPCs if its multiple) is your favorite to play?

EXETHANTER. my party met him once so far. they haven't been to the amber temple, it was just through the interactive tome of strahd. god i love that freak. a close second is ireena because it's cathartic to be so close to a mental breakdown? third is rahadin because he is the only person who hates them more than strahd. sure what the hell i'll list ezmerelda too because it's so fun to piss off the blood hunter of the party with her. i play her with a very devil-may-care facade. tbh think hobie brown. it's a surface level act that disarms you but she still manages to get cooler when you see the truth of who she is

[blackfairy312]

If they were a character from inside out, who would each be? Have any of them had an anxiety attack before? (If you watched the movie, it’s good) (Fnac)

🍷/ gooood morning :3 i got donuts and coffee

i first watched inside out a loooooong time ago, and all i can remember is that i didn't like it that much. it wasn't a BAD movie, i just personally didn't think it was great. i didn't like Joy. however, i enjoyed the idea of how the "mind" looked it. it's a little similar to how innerworld in DID/OSDD systems work (some of them), honestly i think the idea of Inside Out would work better as a story if it was about alters/parts working together instead of being about emotions. limiting the characters to one singular emotion can make it difficult to make characters interesting. if they were alters/parts instead, then they'd have the creative freedom to make some of them fleshed-out characters and some of them two-dimensional, as sometimes alters/parts won't have fully developed personalities. i dunno. again, i haven't seen the first Inside Out in a long time, and i haven't seen the sequel yet. i might only watch it for Maya Hawk, to be honest 🤭

(sorry for the rambling 😢😢 back to answering the questions)

who would they be from Inside Out:

🐀Toni - Anger

🐱 Richie - Riley's Dad

🎭 Vincent - Joy

🎁 Vinnie - Sadness

🎹 Komi - Disgust

have any of them ever had an anxiety attack:

🎹Komi already has PTSD. She's had an exhausting amount of anxiety attacks that were triggered by the paranoia of something bad happening to her again. Being an immortal non-human doll/snake reincarnation doesn't make her immune from mental breakdowns. She's got an incredibly fragile mind, and she copes with it in the worst ways (alchohol/weed/impulsive actions). She REFUSES to let herself break down in front of other people. If she knows she's about to crumble, she just excuses herself and goes somewhere else to try to calm down. Music actually helps her a LOT. So she'll sing to herself to relax.

🐀Toni has had few anxiety attacks throughout his life. Instead, he's had very violent mood swings, due to his childhood being the way that it was. He's got a lot of anger issues as a result. His anxiety is triggered by the thought of children, or people he cares about, getting physically hurt. (How ironic, considering what the Rat animatronic has done.) Though, instead of having an anxiety attack, Toni reacts to his anxiety by attacking whatever triggered it if it's in the room with him and his hands are free. Think again of Mike Schmidt beating up that guy in the mall because he thought the man was kidnapping a small boy who reminded Mike of his little brother, Garret.

🐱 Richie probably hasn't had an anxiety attack in his life. He doesn't understand those kinds of things. He's the type of guy to respond to someone saying they have depression with, "Then just go outside." He's not ableist, he's just ignorant. He'd point at someone if they had a visible disability or uncommon physical trait(missing limb, wheelchair, scar, etc) It's 1961. Do you know who was president in the United States at that time? John F. Kennedy.

🎭Vincent is the exact same as Richie except he CHOOSES to be ignorant. Anxiety isn't something that Vincent struggles with. He doesn't have an anxiety disorder. He sees emotional instability as a sign of weakness in someone. Ironic, considering that he himself is very emotionally unstable. They called mental health hospitals and treatment centers "looney bins" during this time period, by the way.

[shostakobitchh]

Hi. A really big fan of your work. I was rereading Chapter 40 when i noticed this.

“So then… what was Tom?”

Snape visibly.........

................................ as it comforted her.

“A symptom of his all-consuming fear of death.” the shadows cutting across Snape’s face seemed to darken.

Ariel frowned. “If he’s so powerful then why is he scared of dying?”

Snape figured out that dear Tom was a Horcrux doesn't he? He does have all the necessary information as well as the resource to figure out the truth (far more info. than Regulus had). Does he also suspect Ariel's scar? If not, when will he begin to connect the dots? Thanks for your time writing this.

hi! thank you so much, glad you’re enjoying (and rereading!!!)

snape hasn’t figured out the deal with the horcruxes yet; i’m going to be honest and tell you that I’m not certain snape will even be privy to that information until the end. i’ve outlined bits and pieces of hbp and dh and it just… doesn’t work if snape knows ariel is a horcrux, because the only alternative to ariel dying is snape kidnapping ariel and putting her in a hut in siberia and warding the shit out of the land within a 10 mile radius for the rest of her life. he wouldn’t let her go to the forest like harry did in dh; he’d probably have a mental breakdown. snape’s comment to ariel in chapter 40 is something he already knows - tom riddle only cares about cheating death - and it’s one of the chief reasons snape began to doubt riddle during the first war. he saw that the death eaters were only being used to benefit voldemort’s pursuit of immortality; not to change the world (however problematic either are…)

there is, however, something ELSE snape has done to ariel inadvertently. it’s been touched on here and there (only one person caught the biggest hint so far!!!) so that will, unfortunately, take up most of his time in trying to remedy it, while dumbledore diverts ariel’s attention to the horcruxes.

I think snape suspects the Other Thing right now, but it hasn’t shown the Signs yet so he thinks he’s in the clear. but they’ll become known before the end of PoA - the horcrux is just another symptom, unfortunately. i’d like to think that snape would put two and two together earlier, much like poor regulus did, but I’d really have to sit down and unpack how snape would deal with this information in a way that doesn’t fuck with the plot. not having him do anything is ooc, he would fucking raze the planet to ashes to protect this kid; however, having him do too much ruins the plot - we NEED ariel to die, unfortunately.

[faggotrevolution]

rant about better call saul under the cut

the way that jimmy mcgill and kim wexler's relationship breaks down over the course of the entire show is so slow and so intentional and almost feels inevitable - in a way that i'm used to thinking of true love as inevitable - that at the end when kim says "I knew if we stopped, we would have to break up, and I didn't want to break up, because I was having too much fun" it always kind of struck me. abruptly. you get so accustomed to seeing these characters problem-solve and work together, and so often they just move past the difficult stuff that the idea of them breaking up is a slap in the face. why? if she's having fun, and they work things out, why?

straws on a camel's back!! on the rewatch, you can really see how post-chicanery, jimmy and kim start having distinct relationship problems. but it's buried beneath the rest of the plot - their troubles always move aside for the next client, the next job, the next con, whatever. or more accurately, KIM'S troubles always move aside. jimmy finds ways to make his own emotional baggage other people's problems, even if he doesn't do it directly. or even intentionally.

from my understanding! jimmy's core problem is that he's severed from his own emotional identity - he is incapable of honest, open communication, because he doesn't really understand his own feelings well enough to talk about them. but he does feel things, feels them very deeply, and cannot control or justify them. this is a piece of why he loves kim so much, she's an excellent lawyer and makes arguments on his behalf - she helps to explain him, and it makes him feel seen and acceptable

but who makes arguments for kim? jimmy is a decent lawyer, but he's not as good as she is. and he isn't able to empathize with her, he's only able to use the professional tone they established as friends in the mailroom. the only time he makes a special effort to care for her is when her arm is broken, and she is visibly injured.

kim's troubles are always being put on the back-burner to make way for the next *thing*, whereas jimmy's troubles often incite or force the next *thing* into play.

going back to the second half of season 3 and all of season 4, there are moments in the show where it really feels like jimmy and kim are definitely, definitely going to break up. like when he refuses to go to therapy, when he gets in that weird one-up contest with her boss, or when he sells drop phones and they have to run the scam to save huell.

even before then jimmy was putting kim's integrity and career in danger, but - she competently explained it, the way a lawyer would, as justifiable. god it was just all so well-wrought together. take a look at this order of events: jimmy is blocked by his brother -> gets a job at davis & main so he can keep playing the Lawyer Game and flirting with kim -> jimmy runs the sandpiper commercial everyone was uncool about -> kim gets stuck in doc review and refuses to let jimmy help her -> her efforts are not rewarded then, and are later exploited when she leaves to start her solo practice -> the number switch -> chuck's "mental breakdown" and the cassette tape

kim's story about working very hard and being exploited by her boss is sandwiched in between jimmy and chuck's stories.

now, look at another arc: jimmy is disbarred as a lawyer, while kim takes on more and more work -> jimmy spirals, and vindictively strikes out at his brother through malpractice insurance -> chuck kills himself (lmao) -> jimmy, unable to deal with the emotional fallout, goes right back to slippin jimmy -> his recklessness leads him to ask kim to help him pull off a con to help save huell babineaux from prison

meanwhile kim has found a way to be happy with her life by dividing her time between mesa verde and pro bono work. when he goes to kim she's (understandably) angry. she had her shit figured out, and here he comes with more of this convoluted bullshit to make her life more difficult.

and it really does seem like they're going to break up! she ices him out while they run the scam which, by the way, i think she only gets invested in because suzanne erikson is so unpleasant and vindictive about prosecuting huell, UP UNTIL the scam WORKS. and then kim starts being attracted to jimmy again. because she got to get one over on the DA.

it's at this point that it begins to look like their relationship is going well. kim remembers how much fun she's had with jimmy, and how these cons excite her. she starts looking for a way to have it all. as she said in her interview with schweikart & cokely, she wants more.

anyway, she tries and it makes her feel worse, so her and jimmy go back to their original enemy: howard hamlin. and we alllll know how that went

[missjanjie]

"unless you live in a weird mensa cult I don’t think people your age have masters/phd’s. people my age don’t have phd’s and only those in specific fields (usually teaching or social work) have masters and im 28." - thank you. I've been telling her this for years,but she pretends that she can't hear me when I say it. It's just not realistic. Maybe they have a Bachelor 's degree,but definitely not a PHD.

But that's how it's been my entire life. If I do something,everyone else in my age group is somehow ahead of me in some way. It's a constant competition. If I got an A, everyone else somehow got A+s, so I'm not trying hard enough. As if getting into a Bachelor's Degree programme at 16 wasn't already insane by most metrics.

All she cares about is how I'm keeping up with everyone else(or whatever she thinks they're doing). It doesn't matter if you have a mental breakdown whole completing this degree,you complete it so I don't feel inadequate as a mother and I can finally brag about my child's graduation and how she's working in the medical field to make myself feel better.

I'm working on finding a way out for myself because I can't bear to be alone with her anymore. It's too much. It feels like I'm witnessing mental illness visibly unfold in front of me every time she speaks. Literally us:

Me: Hey,did you see that it's overcast outside? Rain might be coming.

Her: You can see the rain coming, but you can't see how behind you are compared to everyone else in your age group. Everyone else has a degree, a job and their own car. What do you have to show for your time in school? Nothing. I wasted my time sending you to school.

and how many phds does she have anyway 🤔 but yeah not to armchair diagnose but im pretty sure your moms a narcissist or has a lot of those traits. hopefully you’ll be in a position to go lc/nc soon

[flock-of-cassowaries]

My parents grounded me for a week or two in 2003. I was in 12th grade.

I spontaneously developed a very challenging work schedule at my part-time job. Like, I was getting more shifts than ever before. What a strange coincidence. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

After about three days, they completely dropped the pretence, and we never spoke about it again.

…thr funny thing about this was that the reason for my grounding was that I went out on a Friday night,  and didn’t come home until 2 AM.

I didn’t have a curfew. I routinely came home even later without either of them appearing to notice or care; the previous May, I had been out until almost dawn doing psychedelic drugs ✨🍄 in a ravine, and that episode raised no comment.

But on this day in September, for whatever reason, one of them randomly remembered that they did, in fact, have a child (exactly one); and they decided to Parent(tm).

What was extra-hilarious about this episode [TW for ✨T R A U M A✨, and some pretty severe parental negligence on the next part]

…is that it happened several months after the night I had come home late because I had been kidnapped and dropped in the woods at night by people I thought were my friends; an event to which they were entirely oblivious, even though it precipitated a highly-visible mental breakdown, and a total transformation in how I presented myself and in terms of my attitude towards the world.

But, you know, [TW for ED mentions, and even more extreme parental excellence]

…these were also the people who, when I was 11 and starving to death with severe anorexia, didn’t take me to a (free, public) hospital until I dragged my skeletal frame up to my mother’s room and begged her to take me; because I was afraid I was going to die.

When we got to the ER (an arduous 20-minute drive away) they pretty much admitted me on sight, and kept me for three months. I ended up in and out of the hospital for the next six months. Missed half of 7th grade.

Anyway, this is probably why I ended up identifying with Roman Roy on Succession; because I also have several steamer trunks full of horrible, terrible, very bad traumatic childhood memories; and I need to share them (to reinforce to myself that they were real, and they were that bad). But when I do, I also tend to revel in the disconcerting-to-others dark humour that can be derived from the ironic details of the ways that the people and systems that were supposed to protect me as a child failed.