#they could never make me hate you tox

[bingboop]

[aihoshiino]

do you think b komachi (specifically the 4 founding members) were ever friends at one point? i think 45510 implied it with how ai refers to them being friends before and nino saying that ai didn’t ‘cling to her friends’

personally, ive assumed that they were never close due to that rift between her and the rest of them therefore leading ai to want to make friends with them but knowing that they mightve been close in the past (even if it was brief) before distancing themselves away and growing to resent and envy her is just

Idk it hurts

I THINK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH AUUUUUU...

The Spica novel implies they never really connected at all and that there was some pretty nasty bullying of Ai basically immediately but uh, the Spica novel also has a lot of weird contradictions with the main series so I kind of just have been taking everything from it with a grain of salt... it'd be one thing if it was actually written by Akasaka and he was retconning but I genuinely think this Tanaka guy just did not know anything about oshi no ko when he wrote it lMDKMSLSKS

SO COMPLETELY IGNORING SPICA IN THAT REGARD...!

It's hard to pin things down exactly because we've never gotten a proper snapshot of that part of Ai's life. The closest we come to having anyone from that time period talk about it is in 45510 and Nino is sooooo biased that it's hard to know how seriously we can take her words.

I tend to believe that Nino is mostly telling the truth about how things went there from a purely narratively utilitarian standpoint of "this is our only source for this particular information so she cannot be a wholly unreliable narrator", even if her obvious emotional bias means you can't just uncritically accept what she says. Kyun kind of accidentally corroborates this in Viewpoint B where she describes Ai as being a little distant and seeming to have her walls up, which matches Nino describing her as 'aloof'.

I don't think this was something Ai was doing intentionally, though! This isn't something anyone in B-Komachi would've had context for but immediately worth noting is that, given that we know Ai can't be any older than 11 or 12 when she debuts in B-Komachi, this is two years at the very most out from her being separated from her mother. As Ayumi herself admits, her abuse of Ai escalated and peaked when Ai was eight or nine years old and Ai was put into the children's home and abandoned by her not long after. Given how fresh the wounds of abuse and abandonment would've been, it's really not a shock to me that Ai might have been kind of wary and defensive in a way that would've read as aloofness to kids who don't know what's up with her.

And also, like... Ai is autistic lol! She literally has a type of neurodivergence that affects her ability to socialize on top of her being implied to have been pretty poorly socialized up to that point as well. Chances are good that during this important period of making first impressions in B-Komachi that she probably wasn't great at masking, so that combined with her already having her guard up a bit likely would have made her seem really standoffish.

With all that laid out, I think my read of what initially happened with the founding members and Ai is that they were all reaching out to each other but ended up missing the final step they would've needed to really connect. The other founding members eventually gave up but Ai never stopped trying to reach them even long past the point where even she admits that they probably hate her. She never gave up on the idea that they could be friends.

It's definitely sad! I think the way the founding members fell apart is a really good depiction of like... an emotionally messy situation where it's hard for me to really blame anyone. In the aftermath of ch132, I've seen a lot of people really ragging on Nino and blaming her entirely for Ai's isolation within B-Komachi but like... isn't Ichigo also to blame for letting things get that bad? Isn't it the manager's job to make sure toxicity like that doesn't fester? Hell, a big part of why the girls in B-Komachi resented Ai is BECAUSE of Ichigo - because the group's management spotlighted and promoted her to the extent that all the other girls felt like they were just there to be Ai's backup dancers.

Thank God that could never happen with the present day generation of B-Komachi, right? Ha... hahahahhaa...............

[persephone-uwu]

So going on another Fallen rant, and psychological dive of Cam. Severe TW

If you’ve never read the book, and don’t know who Cam is, or it’s been awhile, Cam is the bad boy, second love interest in Fallen who turns out to be a demon that just wants to sway Luce. He’s known for his explosive temper, and beautiful good looks; but in his, badly written book, we also find out just how much he avoids love; going as far as to ditch a girl on a rooftop because he was scared of getting too close, or even when Roland hugs him after not seeing him for so long, Cam doesn’t hug him back and tells him, “take it easy,” even though he doesn’t pull away. It’s not the first time he seems to flinch away from physical contact. In Fallen in Love, he literally flinches away from Roland: Roland wiped his face and pulled himself to his feet. He reached for Cam, but the demon flinched away.

Cam is a victim of abuse. His story had the opportunity to be about a victim healing, and learning to love again, and be in a healthy relationship; but that’s not what we got. Cam goes back into another unhealthy, and abusive relationship, which is why I hate Unforgiven completely and don’t consider it canon. Not only do we not get any backstory on Cam, or his relationship with his siblings, or stories of his time on Earth, but he doesn’t heal. He doesn’t overcome his trauma.

Now stay with me.

“How is he an abuse victim?” You may ask

Cam went through toxic relationship, into toxic relationship, into toxic relationship.

First, he’s kicked out of heaven by his father, whom he was loyal to, and even remained an angel afterwards until his breakup with Lilith. He didn’t get a say in it whatsoever, his choice was taken from him, all because sky daddy was mad at Lucifer, so he kicked all of them out, because he “lost patience” with his angel host. So because his father is a narcissist and threw a tantrum, he was kicked out of his home. Which was a traumatic experience. One he even gets angry at Shelby about when she makes a joke about it.

“Yeah, about that… how’s that possible?” Shelby said. “You’d think that kind of thing would leave an impression on the old memorizer.”

Cam’s face reddened. “You try falling for nine days through multiple dimensions and trillions of miles, landing on your face, breaking your wings, rolling around concussed for who knows how long, wandering the dessert for decades looking for any clues as to who or what or where you are—and then talk to me about the old memorizer.”

And then he meets Lilith, who he is described as having a toxic relationship with. Daniel describes their relationship in Passion, “Both of them had their volatile sides, and when they argued, the whole tribe heard about it.”

During this moment, she gets so angry that he won’t marry her in a church (because he can’t) that she begins to physically assault him. Despite the power imbalance, he lets her. He doesn’t fight back. He lets her hit him, pin him down, belittle him. Why? Because he is so clearly an abuse victim. Their entire relationship is toxic, and the fact that he doesn’t fight back in this moment, and that her first reaction is to assault him physically, tells me this isn’t the first time. The fact that Unforgiven disregards this, and gaslights him into thinking he made it up, even though this is told through Daniel’s perspective, who says he remembers this. This was Lauren’s opportunity to write a deep story with a beautiful message, something abuse victim could be inspired by. Instead, she does the lazy thing, and pretends what happened in Passion was Cam’s imagination. Even though Lilith in Unforgiven is the exact same Lilith in Passion. They fight so much though it’s only 15 days. They fight almost every chapter. That’s not healthy. That’s Cam constantly going back to toxic relationships, because that’s all he knows.

After she leaves in Passion, Cam tells Daniel that he’s “lonely,” as in present tense. As in, even with Lilith, he was lonely. But Daniel is toxic to Cam too. In that moment, Daniel could’ve been there for his brother, who clearly adores him, but chooses to throw Lucinda in his face, and how she’s all that he needs.

Cam lashes out at that point. Which seems to be the source of Cam’s anger. The only time we see his infamous temper is in response to someone else’s behavior: which is what reactive abuse is.

Another example of this is when Daniel and Cam are fighting in Rapture, Daniel is stonewalling, with his arms crossed over his chest, being dismissive and not acknowledging Cam’s feelings. Cam is angry, red faced as he’s yelling at Daniel. As a victim of abuse, I can’t stand when I’m being ignored, or dismissed. It ignites a rage within you, because you don’t feel heard. This also seems to be a reoccurring issue because everyone, including Luce, doesn’t get involved. This is clearly normal behavior for them.

Daniel seems to downplay Cam’s feelings, and never take them into account. He doesn’t support him, or comfort him during his first breakup, that leaves him so devastated, that he switches sides, and even self-harms. His wings are badly scarred from self-harm.

That can be extremely frustrating for victims of abuse.

So then after all of this, he finds himself back with Lilith. No healthy relationships for him. No healing. Nothing.

This could’ve been such an inspirational story for victims of abuse. Watching Cam heal, and learn to accept love again, and not just romantic love! But familial love, like Roland and Arriane. Two who love him, but we never get to see Cam make amends with them, to become close again, to heal. I wanted a book about him that tells us more about his time in heaven, his adventures on Earth, more of his powers and charm, seeing the comedy and love between those three goofballs. There’s so much depth to Cam, and we don’t get to see any of it in Unforgiven. It’s more of Lilith’s story than his.

It could’ve still be a story about second chances, but not theirs. Cam’s. His second chance at love, but a healthy relationship, while also healing his relationship with Arriane and Roland. Unforgiven let me down, and I will never ever like it, or accept it as canon.

Also this should’ve been Cam

[elles-archives]

Ransom Drysdale x Wife!Reader

In for a Penny Part: Nine

Word Count: 1290

Series Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Spoilers for Knives Out, Talks of pregnancy, Murder, Swearing, Potentially dark themes (but not really), Death, Nausea, Anxiety. (I may add more as the series progresses)

Part Warnings: Murder, Gaslighting (I'm not too sure so I am adding it just in case.)

Series Summary: When Harlan Thrombey is found dead, the last person you would think is responsible is. The only problem is how far do you go to protect the ones you love the most.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Add yourself to the Taglist

“You’re scared of me? Oh God, I’ve scared you. Y/N/N, look at me, look at me Kitten. Please.” He put his hand on my jaw and slowly lifted his head up to make me look at him. “I love you Y/N/N, I would never hurt you.” I could see fear in his eyes.

I nodded at him. “You can leave if you like Y/N. Please, just don’t hate me. Dislike me as much as you want, but don’t hate me.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No” I confirmed. “I’m not going to leave you. In for a penny, in for a pound. You’ve come this far, right?” I felt him move. He still had his arms wrapped around me for dear life. “I said I would help Marta when I thought she killed Harlan and there is nothing stopping me from helping you. You are way more important to me than Marta is Ran.” I heard him let out a breath in relief.

“But I take it you still have the blackmail note?” He nodded his head. “Okay, so you need to find out who sent the tox report, they probably still have a copy, and you can’t risk that Marta won’t let the guilt consume her and tell all. Take the rendezvous time off of the paper and send it to Marta. Then send an anonymous email to her with a later time.”

“I set alight to the examiner’s office.” Ransom confessed to me. “That way any evidence there would be destroyed.”

“Good. Good okay so send the note to Marta tonight and come back here. Then we are going to go to meet with whoever sent the note tomorrow. We will have to destroy all the evidence and then that’s that. If they don’t have a toxicology report for evidence then you can’t be linked to it.”

“Are we going to just allow Harlan’s death to be a suicide?”

“Ran, let’s be honest. You wouldn’t be getting a different amount of money either way. Marta already said that if we helped her she would give you your cut of the inheritance. Let’s just try not to get you arrested first.” He silently agreed with me. He got up and gave me a kiss before making his way out of the bedroom to go and send the note to Marta. I laid in bed, thinking over everything, making sure that there was nothing me and Ransom missed that could point to him.

Apparently I drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew, Ransom was gently hushing me as he climbed in bed next to me. I felt him wrap his arms around me and I automatically relaxed into his touch. I drifted back off to sleep with the worry that now anything could happen.

*

In the morning, me and Ransom got up and we went to go meet the person who sent him the blackmail note. When we arrived, I saw Ransom place gloves on.

“If I kill her, will you hate me?” Ransom almost whispered.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t, but no. I won’t hate you.” I could feel the nervousness dripping off of him. I wanted to reach and comfort him but the emotions I was feeling were so intense I didn’t want to burst into tears.

We both got out of the car and went through to where we had to meet the person. I was in shock when I saw Fran. She hadn’t seen me yet as I was still behind Ransom.

“I knew it. I knew you were a no-good son of a bitch; I knew Harlan wouldn't have just killed himself.” She paused for a minute, and I took a step from out behind Ransom. “Wait, Y/N? You were in on this?”

“Yes, you were right Fran.” Ransom smirked.

“I knew you were guilty as shit. Now you're gonna pay for it don't come near me I'm warning you I…”

Ransom didn’t give her time to finish. He made his way towards her, and I turned my back. I could tell from the tone of Fran’s voice that if Ransom didn’t kill her, she would turn him in.

I turned back around when I heard silence. I saw Fran on the floor unconscious and Ransom going through the medical bag. I took a deep breath and made my way over to the tox report. I noticed on it that Marta had indeed given Harlan the right drugs and that Harlan would still be alive if Marta knew the truth. Ransom handed me a lighter after he took a syringe and morphine out of the bag. As he got to work with killing Fran, I set alight to the toxicology report and let it burn next to Marta’s medical bag.

We quickly went home and hoped that we would be hearing from Marta soon. We knew that when she found the blackmail note she would probably come to me and Ransom for help. We were sitting in our living room when I suddenly had a thought.

“What if Fran had more than one copy of the tox report?” I asked Ransom. He looked up at me deep in thought.

“Do you know where she would have hidden it.” He questioned me. I thought about it for a minute. It didn’t take me long to figure out where it was.

“Fran’s stash.” I told him. “I know where it is. I’ll go destroy it.” Before I had a chance to go through the doorbell went. I walked to the door and found a terrified Marta standing there.

“Come in, quickly.” I pulled her in and pointed to the living room where Ransom was. “Go sit down I’ll make you some tea.” Marta made her way through, and I went to the kitchen. After I made Marta a tea and Ransom a coffee, I went back to the living room and sat on the arm of the couch, next to Ransom.

“Well, I don't know what this is from” Ransom muttered, not taking his eyes of the note.

“It's my medical bag tag. They have my medical bag. For some reason.” Marta explained, fear prominent in her voice.

“OK, but this is just a photocopy of the header of a blood toxicology report, from the local crime lab. On Harlan. Marta, it would show the morphine overdose.”

“So, I'm screwed! How do you know all this stuff?” Marta started freaking out. I saw how Ransom kept his calm demeanour throughout.

“I was Harlan's research assistant. For a summer.” Ransom paused as he took a sip of coffee. “But what kind of blackmail scheme is this? I mean the actual evidence is sitting up the street at the crime lab. What was the point of sending you this?”

I had to control my urge to smirk. I knew that Ransom was bullshitting her, and she was falling for it hook, line and sinker.

“Okay, me and you are going to go to the lab and see if we can get that tox report. Then we are going to find out who is blackmailing you.” Marta nodded in agreement. I stood up and gave Ransom a hug and kiss and told him to ‘be careful.’ I knew I would have a more difficult job getting into the mansion to retrieve the tox report, if it was even there.

Once Ransom and Marta left, I grabbed a bracelet of mine and put it in my pocket. I knew the police were still snooping around and I didn’t want them questioning why I was there. With me ‘forgetting’ my bracelet in case anyone asked, I left the house and made my way to Harlan’s to look for the tox report.

**

Taglist: (Crossed out won't tag.)

@bval-1

@dietmountainhoneydew

@cevansgurl

@ttae-yong

@princess-baby18

@ccmarvelxx

@tenaciousperfectionunkown

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@mechixx

@booklover2622

@lesbians4levinson2021

@1-800-captain-insano

[kradogsrats]

Rewatch Shitposts: S3, Ep 1-4

i.

Aw ye Ziard

Can’t wait for all this shit to be fully explained

Sol Regem is such an asshole but such a good character

Opeli: “right, now that I’m in charge… time for the executions to begin”

Ezran does know how to make an entrance

ii.

“Yeah so your dad’s dead, and also protocol demands you sleep in his bedroom instead of your old one that might be a source of comfort to you”

Zym: “finally, some good fucking food”

Xadia, land of puns

So the ToX sourcebook specifies that it’s revealed that the assassinations of Fareeda and Florian were orchestrated by Viren, but not how or when… another thing it will be GREAT TO FIND OUT SOMEDAY, WONDERSTORM

Soren, stress eater

Ghhh the seed-copter makes me nauseous just looking at it

Claudia must see adoraburrs someday

And they very carefully do NOT show how the crown goes on over Ezran’s hair

iii.

It has never been made clear how/why Rayla “knows” her parents ran away, but presumably it’s down to “well, their bodies weren’t there”

ELF CALLUM

screaming rn because that little bow before he starts the accent? he definitely saw Viren do this once lmao

They could have made Ezran’s speech there sound a little less naive

DEEPLY hate whoever mentioned that one of Kazi’s design inspirations was C-3PO, thanks

AGAIN with leaving the fucking butterflies on the floor, Viren please

That little dramatic “oh shit” zoom omfg, it’s almost as good as the “Two YEARS?!?!” one in s4

Lotta very painful family dynamics in one little scene, there

ngl I’m most waiting for the s3 novelization for the Lux Aurea scenes

and I do like Ethari, actually

iv.

Ah yes, the Midnight Desert… another sequence that feels interminably boring but serves for the characters to learn important lessons about themselves and each other

Nyx’s design is definitely someone’s teenage OC

yeah I’m gonna need someone to gather high-res versions of all the Katolis castle matte paintings because every single one is gorgeous

Again, Viren has the least reasonable reaction to a bug doing something on your face ever

I don’t remember if this is anywhere else, but it’s definitely implied here that Sarai was a general for Katolis before she was queen, which fits in with Katolis’s military-oriented history and culture

Baker: “… that—that was my best tray.”

I assume there’s rayllum fic out there for the “and there was ONLY ONE blanket” scenario, because duh

And the whole regency thing is a baffling series of decisions but like… okay, I guess

[farfromharry]

it’s really but anyways, can you do a ceo!tom or mob!tom angst pls? i’m in a angsty mood 🏃🏽‍♀️💨

summary: you and tom get into a fight, but he needs your help when his lifes on the line.

mob!tom x reader

w/c 1.1k

you and tom had a fight. a fight that distracted him enough to have led to almost getting him killed, and you felt awful about it.

tom had basically given up with everything after you left, and everyone noticed. he was no longer focused on his work like he usually was, no longer scared of his enemies threats, brushing them off like they didn’t matter, and no longer happy without his overall source of happiness; you.

“tom, i’m leaving.” the words triggered more memories of that night in his brain. his hands clinged to his head as they replayed against his will.

you had been asking tom for weeks to just spend some more time with you, that was it. but he’d made such a big deal about why he couldn’t and you felt like it was just to stay away from you, he was breaking your heart.

“why can’t you just listen to me?” he yelled, yet another complaint that you were ignore the ‘perfectly valid’ points he was making at why he couldn’t just drop everything for you, not that you even asked him tox

“tom,” you mumbled, trying to catch his attention mid-rant. “i can’t do this anymore,” you cried.

“what are you saying?”

you heard the voice crack, a frown decorating your beautiful features. “i’m leaving.” his heart ached. tom was fully aware that he needed to stop what he was doing, he was only making things worse, but he was just so angry at everything that he didn’t even mean to say it.

“then go.”

he took a shaky breath, finally looking up at his younger brother, who was watching him with concern. tom nodded, plastering a fake smile on his face.

“are you alright?” sam asked. tom was too stubborn and full of pride to admit that he was struggling, even to his own family, so he simply nodded.

“perfectly fine.” sam spared him a second glance, just checking to see if his ‘fine’ demeanor would falter. it didn’t.

he nodded, saying his goodbyes to his brother before leaving the office.

if tom was smart, he would’ve left earlier, probably at the same time as sam. he knew he shouldn’t have stayed this late, because now here he was hiding under his desk, his gun held close to his chest as dangerous men ransacked his office in search of him.

he hated to admit it but their taunts scared him, he didn’t know what to do; he was helpless.

it obviously wasn't long until they found him, his gun rendering useless when they hit him over the head with something he couldn’t identify.

<<<>>>

it’d been days since your fight, and even now, in a life or death situation, it was all he could think about. the beatings and the physical pain didn’t bother him anymore, the most important person in his life didn’t care anymore, why should he?

“if you’re going to kill me, just do it,” he spat. the man’s eyes widened, staring at the mob boss in both confusion, and shock at how easily he just gave up, “i have nothing to live for.”

of course, he did, but without you tom thought he’d lost it all, you were his everything, the only person who’s never judged him for who he is, and he still fucked it up.

he surrendered too late anyway, because the man was unable to even think about grabbing a gun before the police swarmed the place.

this was more than ideal for them, two mobsters in the same place, even if they unknowingly just saved one of them from his death.

tom was taken to the hospital to recover before he would be properly arrested, however he already felt like a prisoner. they had handcuffed him to the bed, claiming he was dangerous even in this barely conscious state.

all he had been told was that someone had been called and was on their way, but he wasn’t told who. so, you can imagine his surprise when you waltzed in with a face filled with fear.

tom felt his heart pang when you rushed over to him, taking his cheeks in your hands to examine all the many marks scattering his skin.

“you’re such an idiot,” you mumbled, cradling his head against your chest. tom nuzzled closer to you, relishing in the feeling of your touch before it got taken away again.

you tried to ignore the sight of the handcuffs around his wrist, keeping him held down in the hospital bed.

“i missed you,” he whispered. you smiled softly, kissing his head.

“i missed you too, but you fucked up.” you weren’t saying it in a horrible way, nor were you referring to your fight, and tom knew that perfectly well.

“i know, but i need you to call harrison for me.” you sighed, resting your head against his.

“i also need you to do something else.” his honey brown orbs were staring directly into your eyes, pleading with you silently.

“go on.”

he laughed a little. “i need you to use your skills and get me out of these cuffs.”

your eyes bulged, staring at him like he was out of his mind. with his free hand he pulled out the hair grip he’d noticed from your hair. he held it up in front of your eyes, egging you on to help him.

you didn’t know what to do, on the one hand, morally tom should go to prison, but on the other, you didn’t know if you could do that to him.

“okay,” you mumbled, getting to work.

so that same day, you stuck to your promises, calling his best friend and giving harrison tom’s location, as well as managing to get him out of those awfully tight handcuffs.

“darling,” he called, throwing his dirty clothes back on in a haste. you turned your head, a rather nervous expression painted on your face as you kept look-out for any doctors.

“you’re going to need to come with me.” he noted the way your face dropped, becoming a stuttering mess when you tried to ask why. “they’ll know you were involved.”

even if you hated to admit it, he was right. the fact that as soon as you showed up, tom mysteriously got out of his chains and ran wouldn’t be a good enough excuse.

“but-“ tom’s eyes widened as loud footsteps sounded up the hospital hallway. he tried to motion you over to him, his heart beginning to race. you now only had a small window of escape, and the longer you took, the smaller it got. you cursed under your breath, linking your fingers with tom and letting him pull you into his chest.

“good choice.”

tom holland taglist - @seutarose @lmaotshollandd @photoshopart15 @hopelessly-harry @drie-the-derp @bvttercupbby @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @geminiparkers @blossomparkers @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys @itstaskeen @icyhollands @tpwk-grande @zspideyy @chrisosterfield @starkweasley @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @sonnydoesrandomshit @hopeless-romantic-baby @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets

[purple-fireflies]

try to slip past his defense (without granting innocence)

A/N: Soy Luna Grey’s Anatomy au -- some plot devices will be the same, others may differ. (This is just an excerpt, I'll post the full chapter on ao3 & tumblr when I'm done with it!)

Other notes:

The title is from The Fray’s “How To Save A Life” which is basically the show’s anthem song (that and chasing cars)

Sometimes, certain dialogue may be verbatim from the show (this is only for medical-related plot devices, ie meeting patients, assigning lab reports, establishing exposition, etc) so I’m stating here right now that that specific dialogue belongs to Grey’s Anatomy, and the characters belong to Soy Luna, but everything else belongs to me

Juliana never had the last name given in the show, so for story’s sake, it’s Bahiense.

She’s referred to as “The Nazi” but that’s not meant to offend anyone at all, it was the nickname given in the show, so I’m transferring it here.

In Soy Luna, Ámbar is one year older than Luna, but here she’s the same age as her

In Grey’s Anatomy, there are only 5 people in each group of interns, but for plot’s sake, there are 7 each

In the show, Benicio’s name was never mentioned, so for writing purposes, his last name is going to be Calisto

Luna sits up quickly—bad idea.

She winces at the light coming in through the window and groans at her headache.

And someone stirs next to her.

Exactly how much did she drink?

Enough so she doesn’t remember the name of the smirky boy staring at her, pulling on his boxers.

She is never drinking again.

And he needs to leave.

“You are?” He asks, grinning the grin that probably got Luna into this mess.

“Humiliated on so many levels,” She mutters, “And I’m late, as well. So if you could just, I dunno, leave, that would be perfect,”

“Or we could pick up where we left off?” He asks, with a grin that tells Luna he isn’t used to being rejected.

“No, seriously. I’m late. Which I shouldn’t be on my first day of work, so?”

Take the hint.

“Wait, so you live here?”

Jesus Christ, she’s going to be late.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it was my aunt’s house, but I’m selling it so technically, not for long.” She rushes out.

“I’m sorry,” He replies, actual emotion in his eyes.

“My aunt is still ali—you know, we don’t have to do the thing,”

“We can do whatever you want,”

Really?

“No, the thing. Where you pretend you care or ask me nice questions or whatever. Listen. I’m going to go upstairs and shower, and when I get back, you’re not going to be here, uh…”

What was his name?

He laughs softly, “Matteo.”

“Luna,” She replies, shaking his hand.

“Bye, Luna,” He says winking at her.

She smiles in response and jerks her head towards the door.

“Bye, Matteo,”

And that’s the last she has to see of him.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“Each of you comes here hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That's up to you,” The chief, Tamara Rios, says as Luna stumbles into the room, causing everyone to stare at her.

Great job, Valente.

Luna walks around the room. She sees Ámbar, avoiding her gaze as if it was poisonous. She sees another girl, a brunette, looking around the room with wide eyes. She sees Simón, looking back at her, and resists waving at him as a kindergartner would. She walks around the OR a little more and sees two girls so close they might as well be stuck together, one a blonde and the other a redhead. She bumps into another boy, who just huffs softly and brushes her off.

Rude.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

The resident takes 3 more interns, leaving Luna with the brunette she saw at the orientation.

“Only 6 women out of 20,” She says, sighing, as if mad at the statistic itself.

“And I think one of them’s a model. As if that would’ve helped with the whole respect thing,” The redhead interjects.

Luna and Ámbar share a look.

Luna turns to the brunette.

“You’re Nina, right?” She says, smiling.

Nina nods, “Which resident did you get assigned to? I got Bahiense.”

“The Nazi? Me too,” Luna replies.

The guy who bumped into her says, “You got the Nazi? So did I. At least we’ll be tortured together,” He says, trying to lean into Luna’s space.

Luna and Nina exchange a quick look saying, God, can you believe him?

A doctor comes up and calls out “Smith, Valente, Ponce, Simonetti, Medina, Sánchez, Álvarez,”

Ámbar walks up to the guy and asks, “Bahiense?”

He points down the hall.

The seven look down to see who he’s pointing at. It’s a woman slightly shorter than them, using a cane to stand up, ordering some other resident around.

The guy who bumped into her says, “I thought the Nazi would be a guy,”

Sexist much?

“I thought the Nazi would be...you know, the Nazi,” Luna mutters.

“Guys seriously? Maybe it’s just professional jealousy. You know, maybe she’s just brilliant and they’re so jealous so they call her the Nazi. Maybe she’s nice.” The redhead says, and Luna sees her nametag saying Jimena Medina.

The blonde next to her, Yamila Sánchez, Luna supposes, nods.

Which means the only one left that she doesn’t know would be...Luna cranes her neck to see his nametag.

Ramiro Ponce. Who is currently staring wistfully at Yamila.

Please.

“Let me guess, you still have hope left in your heart,” Ámbar says to Jimena, rolling her eyes as if it’s what she was born to do.

Jimena shoots Ámbar a dirty look (wow, Luna wishes her luck with that can of worms) and proceeds to try to shake Dr. Bahiense’s hand when she walks over.

Dr. Bahiense looks at her hand as if it’s infectious.

Jimena, undeterred, continues to say, “Right, well. I’m Jimena Medina, but you can call me Jim if it’s easier,”

Yamila, who seemed to jump out of thin air, says, “And you can call me Yam,”

Bahiense looks so unimpressed Luna thinks that if contempt alone was enough to murder someone, Bahiense would be a serial killer.

Luna shares a quick look with Simón, who gives her a reassuring nod.

Bahiense looks them all up and down, evidently annoyed with being stuck with their group (ouch).

"I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change,” She starts, then moves to a bench, filled with different objects, “Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours,”

Everyone rushes to grab their pagers, studying them before Bahiense starts talking again.

“You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop, and don't complain!”

Bahiense opens what Luna supposes is an on-call room, “On-call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woken me for no good reason, we clear?”

Luna rushes to nod, writing furiously on her notepad, and then goes, oh.

She raises her hand.

Dr. Bahiense looks extremely pissed at Luna for having the audacity to have a question.

“Yes?”

“You said five rules. Those were only four.” Luna says, trying not to wilt against Dr. Bahiense’s gaze.

“Rule number five. When I move, you move,” She says after her pager beeps.

That’s some TV show shit right there.

They break into a run and watch as Dr. Bahiense runs down a couple of doctors.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

The helicopter—yes, a helicopter—lands, and a doctor pulls out a teenager on a stretcher.

This is way too much for Luna on her first day.

“What do we got?” Bahiense asks, and Luna hears Nina correct the grammar under her breath.

As the paramedic puts the girl on the stretcher (while she’s seizing) he says, “Katie Bryce, fifteen-year-old female, new-onset seizures, intermittent for the past week, ID lost en route, started grand mal seizing as we descended,”

Bahiense stops, leaning on her cane for a second, and then it’s all business.

“All right. Yam, put her on the side, 10 milligrams diazepam,” Bahiense groans when Yam does it incorrectly, “No, no, the white lead is on the right, righty whitey, smoke over fire, a large-bore I.V. don't let the blood haemolyse, let's go!”

Yam injects the diazepam and Katie stops seizing.

Luna releases the breath that she wasn’t aware she was holding.

Another doctor, in dark blue scrubs, another doctor comes up in stark contrast to what she and the other interns are wearing. Luna catches his name very quickly. Gastón Perida.

Nina sucks in a breath as he walks past them, Luna realizes with a start.

“So I heard we got a wet fish on dry land?” Dr. Perida says, and Luna catches how Nina stares at him with intent.

Dr. Bahiense, her sudden brashness gone, replaced with respect as she says, “Absolutely Dr. Perida,”

Dr. Perida nods, his eyes brushing over the intern group, stopping at Nina, and he then continues.

“All right, Dr. Bahiense, I’m gonna shotgun her,”

“That means every test in the book, CT, CBC, chem. seven, a tox screen, Nina and Ámbar, you're on labs, Ramiro and Yam, patient workups, Luna, get Katie for a CT, she's your responsibility now,”

Wonderful. Her first day and she gets the really hard patient.

“What about me and Simón?” Jim asks.

Bahiense looks so tired when she stares at Jim, “Right, you two, uh. You get to do rectal exams. Okay?”

Jim and Simón have faces that say no, not okay.

Luna makes a face gloating at Simón and he just glares at her in return.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Ámbar peeks into the OR where Dr. Bahiense is. Bahiense comes out and looks at her expectantly.

“Um, Katie Bryce's labs came out clear, there's nothing in the results that explain her seizures,” She says, hoping to catch Dr. Bahiense to ask her what she really wants to ask her.

“And…?”

“ I heard every year the attending on-call picks the best intern and, and lets them perform a procedure, during the first shift?” Ámbar asks, glaring back at Dr. Bahiense when she tries to stare her down.

Ámbar Smith does not get stared down.

“Go away. Now.” Dr. Bahiense says, and Ámbar groans internally.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Yam sighs at yet another ill-tried joke Ramiro attempts.

Flirty in med school and flirty now.

Why should she even bother?

“We have one more patient to work up,” She mumbles and he nods, walking slower to keep up with her pace.

She places her stethoscope and hears for a heartbeat. “Everything seems to be in order,”

“So he’ll be fine?” The woman next to him—presumably his wife—asks.

“If you don’t count that my bacon days are over, sure,” The patient replies.

Yam shares a smirk with Ramiro.

“You'll have surgery tomorrow with Dr. Perida, I hear he's good, and after that, you can have all of the bacon-flavored soy product you can eat,” Ramiro interjects, speaking easily with the patients.

“Please, kill me now,” the patient jokes.

“Wish I could, but I took the Hippocratic Oath for a reason,” Yam replies absently, going over and signing his charts.

She blushes at the weird looks she gets and rolls her eyes at Ramiro’s never-ending smirk.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Katie. Won’t. Stop. Talking. Which isn’t helping Luna find her way through these halls.

Did she just miss the last turn?

“You’re lost,” the kid says, grumbling.

What do you think I’m trying to fix right now? Luna thinks to herself and just about stops herself from saying.

“I’m not lost.” Luna insists, then remembers she’s a doctor, “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m missing my pageant. How do you think I feel?”

“Right. You���re missing your pageant.”

This poor girl is in the hospital with seizures and the only thing that she can think about is her pageant.

Luna feels sorry for her.

“The Spokane Teen Miss? I was in the top ten after the first two rounds. This is my year. I could've won,”

Luna absently hums and realizes that they’re going the wrong way. Again.

She turns around and pushes Katie back the same way.

“You are so lost. What are you, new?”

Luna chokes back a laugh. Yeah, something like that.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Yam watches Ramiro try to give their patient a central line. It’s not working.

And it’s visibly hurting the patient.

She groans and pushes past him, about to put the line in when Dr. Perida waltzes into their room and raises his eyebrows.

“Out.” He says, his nice demeanor replaced with annoyance.

Do all of the residents and attendings just hate interns on principle?

Yam glares at Ramiro and pulls him out, watching from the window as Perida puts the line in perfectly.

“Bet you used to mess up a lot when you started out,” Ramiro tries to joke with Perida.

Yam just winces and nods at Dr. Perida as she leaves.

Ramiro at least has the decency to look sheepish.

This is going to be a long shift.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Luna sits, taking Katie’s patient history and generally listening to her incessant babbling.

“I twisted my ankle. I do rhythmic gymnastics, which is like, really cool. Nobody else does it. And I tripped over my ribbon, and I didn't get stuck with someone this clueless. And that was like, a nurse,” Katie says.

Luna bites back a retort.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Simón groans at the plate of food in front of him. The number of rectal exams he and Jim had to do was enough to take the appetite away from anyone.

“This shift is 80 hours long, you have to eat, Simón,” Ámbar mutters, her gaze hardening after leaving Simón’s eyes.

“I can’t.”

“Eat.” Ámbar insists, pushing Simón’s plate towards him.

“You try eating after performing 17 rectal exams. The Nazi hates me. I want to puke.” Simón says, his face contorting.

“Just don’t puke near me,” Ámbar mutters.

“The Nazi’s just a resident. Attendings hate me,” Ramiro replies.

“Did you know Luna is inbred?” Nina asks, and all heads whip to her immediately.

Partly because no one expected the shy ingenue to say anything.

And partly because Luna being inbred is very surprising.

Simón hurries to say “It’s not uncommon to be the kid of a doctor,”

“I mean royally inbred. Her mother is Lili Benson.”

“Shut up. The Lili Benson?” Jim asks.

Nina nods.

“Who’s Lili Benson?” Ramiro asks.

“The Benson method? Where’d you go to med school, Antarctica?” Yam says incredulously.

No one notices how Simón and Ámbar tense up as Yam continues talking. “She was one of the biggest women surgeons. She practically invented th—”

“She won the Harper Avery. Twice.” Jim says, rolling her eyes at Ramiro.

“So I didn’t know one thing.”

“I would kill to have Lili Benson as my mother. Scratch that, I’d kill to be Lili Benson.” Nina says, her eyes alight.

“Katie Bryce is a pain in the ass. I swear if it wouldn’t get me fired, I’d strangle her with my bare hands.” Luna says, walking over to their table, sitting next to Nina.

She seems to miss the wistful glance Simón throws her way.

She does seem to notice the way everyone’s staring at her.

“What?”

Nina opens her mouth to say something but stops immediately when Dr. Perida walks over.

“Good afternoon interns. It's posted, but I thought I'd share the good news personally. As you know, the honor of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise. As I'm running the OR today, I get to make that choice,” Dr. Perida says, and Luna feels a rush of hope.

Or. Felt. Seeing as Dr. Perida is clapping Ramiro on his back (it was kind of worth it to see him choke a little on his salad) and saying, “Ramiro Ponce. You’ll be scrubbing in on an appendectomy this afternoon. Congrats.”

Luna deflates.

She wanted that surgery.

She wanted it really badly.

“Me?” Ramiro asks, not quite believing it. Or maybe he’s just wilting under Yam’s intense glare.

“Enjoy.” Dr. Perida says, nodding to everyone.

Luna doesn’t fail to notice that he’s staring at Nina while he says that.

Nina doesn’t fail to notice either, if the blush on her cheeks has anything to say about it.

Ramiro looks like he’s still in shock.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“I’ve seen his file. Ramiro Ponce barely even made the cut to get into the program. He’s not your guy.” Juliana says to Gastón, raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, he’s my guy alright,” Gastón responds, absently checking the labs.

Juliana sighs, “Every year you pick your guy, and every year your guy suffers most.”

Gastón smiles. Everyone who knows him knows his easy nature, his inclination to being on the side of less serious.

Unless of course, it has to do with work.

“Terrorize one, and the rest fall in line, Bahiense.”

“I get it. I respect it. But Ramiro? Ponce is a puppy. A cute little puppy that is waiting to be killed. He can’t take the pressure. Think about it, Perida.” Juliana says, walking away.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Luna watches as Katie’s parents stumble into Katie’s room.

The look of pure worry and fear on their faces makes Luna warm to them immediately.

A couple of hours ago, their kid was supposed to go on stage and wear a sash and be a kid.

Now they’re scared that their kid could be dying.

“Katie?” The mom asks, trying to hold her hand.

Luna falters, not wanting to break their little window.

“They gave her a sedative for the CT scan, so she’s just a tad groggy,” Luna says, standing up.

“Will she be okay?”

“Does she need surgery?” The parents ask at the same time.

Their urging faces make Luna wish she had an answer.

“Uh. You know, I’m not her doctor, I am a doctor, just not hers. Anyway, I’m not Katie’s doctor. I’ll go find him.” Luna rambles.

Luna finds Bahiense, “Katie’s parents have questions. Should I get Dr. Perida to answer them?”

“What? No. Perida’s off the case. The case is the new neuro attending’s case, Dr. Balsano. He’s over there.” Bahiense says, pointing to…

Oh god.

Please.

Not today.

This is not happening.

Matteo turns and stops dead in his tracks, his eyes clicking in recognition.

This is not happening.

Luna is not dealing with this.

She turns away from his gaze and walks away. What is she going to do?

She walks towards the stairwell and gets grabbed in.

She stumbles and Matteo catches her, running a hand through his hair, which Luna grudgingly admits looks not bad.

No. Luna. Stop it. Luna. No.

“Dr. Balsano. Did you need anything?” Luna asks, trying to not look at flustered as she is.

Matteo looks positively ecstatic at this turn of events. “Dr. Balsano? This morning it was Matteo. Now it’s Dr. Balsano.”

Luna dearly wants to slap that smirk off of his face.

“Dr. Balsano, we should pretend this never happened,”

“What never happened? You sleeping with me last night or kicking me out this morning because I don’t know about you, but both are memories I’d dearly love to keep.”

This guy really can’t take a hint.

“No. No. No. This is not happening. There are no memories of anything. I’m not the girl in the bar and you’re not the guy in the bar. I am your intern, Dr. Balsano.”

“I see how it is. You took advantage of me last night and now you want to forget about it.” He says, smirking incessantly.

“I most certainly did not,”

“I was drunk and vulnerable. Not to mention, insanely good-looking,”

“You’re not that good-looking,” Luna says, while her traitorous brain says Liar over and over.

“Sure I’m not. But last night, I was wearing my red shirt and I was extremely good-looking and you took advantage,”

He’s not entirely wrong about the red shirt.

“I didn—”

“Want to take advantage again? Say, Friday night?”

He’s smiling again, only this time it’s a smile, not a smirk.

Maybe Luna wouldn’t have said no if he wasn’t an attending.

“No. You’re an attending. I’m your intern. And I would seriously appreciate it if you stopped looking at me like that,” Luna says, glaring at him. It doesn’t seem to deter him.

“Like what?” He asks innocently as if he has no idea what he’s doing right now.

“Like you’ve slept with me,”

Matteo smirks.

“Dr. Balsano. Have you ever considered the fact that this is inappropriate?” Luna breathes.

He doesn’t say anything.

Luna sighs and leaves, the door slamming behind her.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“Open. Identify. Irrigate. Close.” Jim instructs, and Yam sighs.

“Jim, I think he’d know,”

“He looks like he’s going to puke,” Jim shoots back.

Yam looks at Ramiro and says, “We have to go to the gallery now. Don’t screw it up.”

They walk up and take a seat behind Luna and Nina.

The intern above them says, “He’s going to faint. He’s a fainter.”

Yam fights back a if you only knew.

“Nah, I’m guessing code brown. Right in his pants,” another intern snickers.

Yam and Jim share a look.

Sure, she’s not a huge fan of Ramiro but he helped her a lot in med school. He helped Jim a lot in med school.

This is just savage.

“He’s going to sweat himself unsterile,”

“10 bucks he’s messing up the McBird,” someone says.

Oh god, they’re betting on Ramiro.

“20 says he cries,” Ámbar says, and sends an apologetic look at Luna.

“I’ll put 20 on him melting down completely,”

“50 says he pulls the whole thing off.” Yam hears herself say.

Luna grins at her, “That’s one of us down there. The first one of us. Where the hell is your loyalty?”

Yam breathes out.

The entire gallery, while it was buzzing before, is now silent.

“75 he can’t even ID the appendix,” Ámbar says again.

This time it’s Simón shooting her the look.

“I’ll take that action,” someone says.

Eric, Yam realizes.

The idiot from their bio class.

Nina elbows Luna when Dr. Perida says, “Okay, Ponce, let’s see what you can do,”

Jim breathes in quickly and Yam also holds her breath.

Do it right do it right please do it right.

“Here it comes,” Simón says.

“Scalpel,” Ramiro says and the nurse hands it to him, echoing the word.

Ramiro takes it and everyone cheers.

Perida motions for them to shut up as Nina says, “God, he’s quite a bit of trouble,”

Ramiro gets ready to cut as Perida instructs, “More pressure.”

Ramiro manages to do it without any mishaps and then proceeds to say, “Pickups.”

The scrub nurse echoes the command and hands him the instrument.

They go on for a little bit, and Yam thinks he might actually pull it off.

Until it goes downhill after Ramiro takes out the appendix.

Perida mutters an angry remark as all the interns in the gallery call him Double O’7.

Jim shares a worried look with Yam and asks Luna, “What does 007 mean?”

Luna sends them an apologetic look.

“License to Kill.”

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

The cool air rushes into the basement that Bahiense’s interns have settled into.

The majority of them pile onto the gurney as Nina goes to the vending machine looking for some chocolate.

Luna winces at the whine that Ramiro makes as he walks into their “hideout”.

“They’re calling me 007 aren’t they?”

Luna groans and shoves Simón’s head off of Ámbar’s lap so she can fall asleep in it.

She’s too tired to deal with any human interaction that requires her to, you know, have any sort of emotional security.

“No one’s calling you 007,” Jim and Yam lie (but they do it in unison so like, props).

Ramiro shoots Yam an annoyed look, “I was on an elevator and Eric whispered 007,”

Ámbar pushes Luna’s head off of her lap and glares at Ramiro, “How many times do we have to go through with this? 5, 10, 15? Please tell me soon or I’m going to rim your head off.”

Ramiro sits on the gurney and groans “Eric whispered 007 in the elevator and everyone laughed,”

Luna picks her head up from where she’s trying (unsuccessfully) to fall asleep and actually feels sorry for the guy for a second but the aching limbs and pounding migraine make it kind of hard to console the poor guy.

“They weren’t laughing at you,” Jim says.

“You sure?”

“Would we lie to you?” Jim asks.

“Yes,” Ramiro, Ámbar, Simon and Luna say.

“007 is a state of mind,” Nina yells from the vending machine and throws a packet of chips at Luna as she walks back.

“Says the girl who finished first at freaking Stanford,” Simón yells at her.

Nina just rolls her eyes in response.

Just as Luna finally feels the call of sleep, her pager beeps.

She just wanted 5 minutes.

“It’s 911. Damn. I gotta go,” and Luna takes off at a sprint.

“I should’ve gone into geriatrics. No one cares if you kill an old person.” Ramiro continues after Luna leaves.

“Yes. Yes, they do care if you kill an old person. Plus. Surgery is hot. Geriatrics is… Well, it’s for freaks who live in the basement with their mom,” Simón replies.

“I have got to move out of my mom’s,” Ramiro mutters.

Nina and Ámbar share a grin.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Luna’s out of breath by the time she gets to Katie’s room.

She really has to go to the gym more.

“Finally,” Katie mutters.

Luna looks around, seeing if anything’s wrong.

Oh god, please tell me she has a good reason for this. She has a good reason. Maybe. Hopefully.

“Are you alright?” The nurse paged me 911.”

“Ha, it took me forever to get her to even pick up the phone. I had to go full Hulk.”

“Wait. So there’s nothing wrong? Nothing medically wrong?”

“I’m bored.” Katie shrugs.

Luna likes to think she’s a nice person. A little absentminded at times, but a nice person nonetheless.

Katie, however, is really testing the whole “do no harm” thing.

“I am not your babysitter. I am not your cruise director. You can’t just page me for anything.”

“Don’t be so overdramatic. My pageant is supposed to be on cable, but it’s like this hospital lives in the ’90s. I can’t find anything. If someone who’s not me gets the crown, I should at least get to see it.”

Luna takes a deep breath. She’s a teenager. You were also stupid as a teenager.

“Okay. This is a hospital. There are sick people here. Go to sleep and stop wasting my time.”

“I can’t sleep, my head’s all full.”

“Those are called thoughts. Run with them.” Luna says in a fit of anger.

She’s been working for almost 24 hours and she just wanted 2 minutes of rest.

But maybe she shouldn’t have snapped at a patient.

But that’s a lesson for another day.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Luna and Nina are in the ER when they hear a loud voice.

“4B has post-op pneumonia. Let’s get her started on antibiotics, okay?” An intern says to a nurse.

Someone didn’t tell the newbie not to piss off the nurses.

“Are you sure it’s the right diagnosis?”

“Oh gee, I don’t know. I’m only an intern. But here’s an idea. You go and spend 4 years in med school and then talk to me. She’s got shortness of breath and fever. It’s post-op pneumonia. Start antibiotics.” He sneers.

Luna rolls her eyes.

The same guy walks over to her and Nina, “God, I hate nurses. I’m Benicio. I’m with Jeremy. You guys are with the Nazi, right?”

“You know it doesn’t have to be pneumonia, right? It could be splinting. Or she could have aPE.”

He sneers again (does it ever leave his face?), “As I said, I hate nurses.” and walks away.

“Well, he’s an absolute idiot,” Nina says, shooting daggers towards Benicios across the room.

Luna’s about to respond, but her pager beeps again.

“Dammit, Katie.”

This time she walks.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

[mlydo]

A bit later than usual, but here it is! Part 4 of me comparing polish dubbing with the english one!

Reminder: DIM: affectionate; AUG: insulting (though there's an example here if it being used in a different context). You can find the broader explanation on the season 1 post.

Previous Masterpost Next

The Tournament of Elements | Turniej Żywiołów

35. The Invitation | Zaproszenie

● Lloyd [about Garmadon]: "Relax, we're cool." → "Wyluzuj, ojciec jest spoko." (Relax, father is cool.)

● The whole 'swearing is a sign of weak verbal skills' joke wouldn't really work in polish, so here's how it was translated:

Garmadon: "Przysiągłem, że już nigdy nie wrócę." (I swore to never come back)

Jay: "Przysięgi wychodzą już z mody, bo zbyt łatwo jest coś obiecać." (Swears are going out of fashion, because it's too easy to promise something.)

36. Only one can remain | Tylko jeden zwycięży (Only one will win)

no notes

37. Versus | Przeciwnicy (Opponents)

● Neuro is changed to Neuron, which stays only for this and the next episode, and later Neuro is used.

38. NinjaRoll | Pojedynek na Wrotkach (Duel on Skates)

● Master of Form is translated as 'Mistrzyni Przemian' (Master of Changes/Transformations)

39. A spy for a spy | Szpiedzy są wśród nas (Spies are among us)

things start to get more interesting from here!

● When Chen congratulates Shade on defeating Tox, he says in english: "She was a bit hard to swallow, wasn't she?" In polish it's "Oj, toksyczny byłby to związek." (Oh, that would be a toxic relationship.)

● Clouse refers to Chen as 'mistrzuniu' which is DIM of 'Master'.

● The "but it's all for this staff" joke is translated really well! It's "Zapraszam państwa na przedstawienie" (I invite you for a performance). Przedstawienie can mean both a theater play and a presentation.

● Nya [to Jay]: "Someone in your circle of trust is a spy." → "Odpowiedź jest prosta kochany, macie szpiega." (The answer is simple dear, you have a spy)

● Kai [to Skylor]: "Uh, I hate to do this, but it's your turn. Can I see your back, please?" → "Przykro mi moja miła, ale nie mam wyboru. Pokaż plecki." (I'm sorry my love, but I don't have a choice. Show your back.)

● Nya [to Chen]: "Oh, and by the way, your feet stink!" → "Taki jesteś mądry, a śmierdzą ci stopy!" (You're so smart, but your feet stink!)

● A cultist uses 'Geisha' to refer to Kabuki.

40. Spellbound | Zaklęcie (Spell)

● Shade calls Kai a kid.

● Lloyd [after finding out about the letter]: "Mom thought the letter was from you!" → "Podpisałeś? Chyba żartujesz, jak mogłeś?!" (You signed it? You've got to be kidding, how could you?!) Lloyd also sounds angrier in polish version.

This line is what inspired me to this whole thing! When I was getting into Ninjago, I first watched some episodes available on YT in polish, and watched the rest in english. When I was rewatching the series with my brothers in english, something stuck out to me about this line, got curious, yada yada, and here we are!

● Garmadon: "A path I hope to one day make peace with." → "Wierzę, że kiedyś przyjdzie mi odkupić moje grzechy." (I believe that someday I will get to redeem my sins.)

● From now on the 'only one can remain' line is translated as 'Zwycięzca może być tylko jeden' (There can be only one winner).

● Kai: "Whoever's there, I'm fired up!" → "Pokaż się, zionę ogniem!" (Show yourself, I breathe fire!)

● Skylor [after Kai asked her about using Chen's weapons]: "Of course not, like I'd ever trust him!" → "Daj spokój, staruchowi nie można ufać." (Come on, the old man is not to be trusted. [AUG of an old man]).

● Garmadon: "Though the evil in my veins tempted me." → "Przyznaję, ciemna strona mocy kusiła mnie bardzo." (I admit, the dark side of force tempted me a lot.)

● Mystake [to the Anacondrai Generals]: "Mercy? Never heard of it!" → "Łaska? Wiecie co to takiego?" (Mercy? Do you even know what it is?)

● Cole: "Maybe rolling ourselves up into giant egg rolls isn't the best paln." → "Zgoda, wytaczanie na wroga giga krokietów nie było najlepszym pomysłem". (Agreed, sending giant croquets rolling on an enemy wasn't the best idea.)

● Chen hardly ever calls Skylor by name. It's always 'córcia' or 'córa' (DIM and AUG of daughter respectively. AUG isn't used as an insult in this context, and has similiar feelings to it DIM version does). If not daughter, then he uses words like 'sweetie', 'sweatheart', 'dear' etc.

41. The Forgotten Element | Ostatni Element (The Last Element)

In polish element is understood only as 'a piece of something'. Element for things like fire, earth etc is a different word.

● Shade [sarcastically]: "What gave that away?" →"Ktoś tu chyba odkrył Amerykę." (Someone here discovered America) 'To discover America' is a polish equivalent of "to reinvent the wheel".

● Jay [after being asked why is he humming]: "Since these cursed shackles have blocked our elemental powers, I chose to use a power of positive thinking." → "A co ja mogę? Będę nucił-odbiorą moce, nie będę- też odbiorą. To ja już wolę sobie nucić." (And what can I do? I'll be humming - they'll take our powers away, I won't - they'll still take them away. So I prefer to hum.)

● Chen: "It's good to be me." → "Jak ja siebie kocham!" (How I love myself!)

● Chope: "But he's got a mohawk." → "No, ale ma toporek." (Yeah, but he's got an axe.)

● Chope and Kapau are translated to Ciach (Slash) and Bidong (which doesn't really mean anything)

● Chen: "So many questions that can be so easily anwsered." → "Pytania, pytania, czemu ja muszę wszystko wiedzieć?" (Questions, questions, why do I have to know everything?)

● Lloyd: "Real power stops people like you" → "Ci co kradną nigdy nie wygrywają." (Those who steal never win)

Chen: "Only one can remain." → "A jednak czasem wygrywają." (And yet they win sometimes.)

● When Garmadon holds Skylor hostage, Chen calls him a Lord.

● Nya: "Zane you're back!"

Zane: "What? What's on my back?"→

Nya: "Zane! Chodź się przytul!" (Zane! Give me a hug!)

Zane: "Co? Kto przytył? Ja przytyłem?" (What? Who gained weight? I gained weight? ['przytul' - to hug; and 'przytył' - gained weight; sound kinda similiar to each other.])

42. Day of the Dragon | Dzień Smoka

● Kai: "What about Skylor?" → "A moja Skylor?" (And my Skylor?)

● Destiny's Bounty is finally translated! It's Perła Przeznaczenia (Pearl of Destiny). Previously it was just referred to as ship.

● Clouse: "I couldn't have asked for a better pet. (...)" → "A takiego pięknego miałem pieszczocha." (And I had such a beautiful pet.)

Chen: "Yeah, yeah, big tear for the snake. (...)" → "Przestań się rozczulać nad tym smokiem." (Stop feeling sorry for this dragon.)

My guess is that the translation was done like this because 'serpent' and 'snake' is the same word in polish - wąż.

● Chen [to Skylor]: "I blame myself for your slip of judgement." → "Te twoje amory, kochanie, zaćmiły ci obrazek. (Those romantic feelings of yours, sweetie, they have clouded your judgemnet.)

● Skylor: "You're not insignificant. You're pitiful." → "Jesteś żałosny. Nie znam cię." (You're pitiful. I don't know you.)

Chen: "How long do i have to listen to these insults? Will someone please seize her?" → "Oj, nie będzie mnie własna córka obrażać. Mógłby ktoś ją w końcu spacyfikować?" (Oh, I won't be insulted by my own daughter. Can someone pacify her already?)

● Garmadon: "He's replaced his Elemntal Staff with the Elements in his daughter." → "Że też on wszystko musi niszczyć, nawet własną córkę." (Why does he must destroy everything, even his own daughter.)

● When looking for Skylor, Kai doesn't say "She's too important." Kinda suprised given how the translator seems to like Kailor.

● Chope: "I feel more dead than a dead end rat." → "Czuję się jak zdechły pies po pogrzebie." (I feel like a dead dog after funeral.)

● When listing creatures Garmadon transformed into, Jay doesn't mention him turning into a dragon, and just says that he's a snake now.

● Karlof: "Metal dragon make Karlof very happy, happy." → "Karlof kochać swojego smoka bardzo, bardzo." (Karlof love his dragon very much, much)

43. The Greatest Fear of All | Najgorszy Koszmar (The Worst Nightmare)

new most-notes record!

● In this season pretty much every time 'Anacondrai' was used, it was replaced with 'Wężon' (Serpentine). I mostly brushed it off, but in this episode it actually starts to make lore-related problems: "There are no real Anacondrai left." "Przecież nie ma już prawdziwych Wężonów." (There aren't any real Serpentine left.) There's a bunch of sentences like this, but I'm including only the ones that seem to be the most contradicting ones.

● This is the first time 'City' part in Ninjago City gets translated!

● Ninja as a group were often translated as 'guys'. This is something I also didn't think would be worth mentioning, as mostly the allies used the word, but in this episode cultists use it? And when they say it it's "Guys and friends", while referring to the ninja an the alliance, so it kinda sounds as if their on posistive terms with them? It's just weird.

● Chen: "Oh, why must conquering Ninjago be so difficult?" →"Czemu ci źli zawsze mają pod górkę?" (Why do the bad guys always have it so hard?)

● Garmadon [about Kryptarium]: "Home of Ninjago's worst of the worst." → "Największe zagęszczenie zła na metr kwadratowy." (The highest density of evil per square meter.)

● Anacondrai is finally translated properly! Thank you! (it doesn't last long though)

● "There is no weakness! They're Anacondrai!" "Wężony nie mają słabych punktów!" (Serpentine have no weak spots!) Are you. Are you absolutely sure about that???

● Lloyd: "Sounds like Chen was playing both sides." → "To ci niespodzianka. Wujek Chen znów wszystkich oszukał." (What a suprise. Uncle Chen has decieved everyone again.) What is it with Lloyd calling people uncles?

● Chen calls Pythor a hamster.

● Garmadon [to Jay]: "This is stopping the world as we know it." → "Jesteś z nami albo przeciwko nam. Wybieraj." (You're either with us or against us. Choose.)

● Wu: "And brother, if for whatever reason this doesn't work out, I'm glad you're home." → "I bracie, gdyby nasze drogi nigdy się nie zeszły, wiedz, że zawsze cię kochałem." (And brother, if our paths were to never cross again, know that I've always loved you.)

● Misako often uses 'dear'/'love', when talking to Garmadon. She also often addresses him as her husband. (Even after the letter reveal!)

● Chen: "Like you said, we aren't real Anacondrai. No, we are not. No, no, no." → "Miałeś rację mały. Jesteśmy złodziejami i uzurpatorami. Jesteśmy źli. Źli, źli, źli." (You were right kid. We're thieves and impostors. We're evil. Evil, evil, evil.)

44. The Corridor of Elders | Wąwóz Wielkich (The Gorge of the Great)

● Chen refers to Wu as "the wise, older brother" ?????

● Wu: "Only one side can declare victory." → "Zwycięzca może być tylko jeden." (There can be only one winner.) You may have noticed that it's the polish version of 'only one can remain'. I think it's a pretty neat translating decision!

● When encourgaging the citizens of Ninjago to join the fight, Cole tells the prisoners to fight for freedom.

● Pythor: "You can trust me because if anyone is going to take over this world, I'd rather it to be me." → "Możesz mi ufać. Też chyba nie chcę aby te gady przejęły władzę nad światem." (You can trust me. I don't think I'd want these reptiles to rule the world.)

● Garmadon: "I never thought I'd say this, but Pythor's right." → "Nie sądziłem, że to powiem, ale zaufajmy wężowi." (I never thought I'd say this, but let's trust a snake.) I think I prefer this over the original version? It's a cool callback to a reappearing line!

● During the burning of the Spellbook, Kai says 'Long, live Garmadon'.

● Instead of saying his name, Morro says 'see you tomorrow'.

And that's it! This season took over seven pages in my notebook, with the episodes 41-44 all took more than a page. Next up is Possession, which may not have as many changes, but certainly has some interesting ones! (Why did Wu call Lloyd his son, I-)

(Also! The tag i use for this series is 'ninjagoPL dub'; I don't think I've mentioned it before, so I'm doing it now.)

[oboevallis]

who is he pt 4

BESTIES!!!!! it’s been tooooooo long ive just had no motivation 🤪 but today we had parade rehearsal and they didn't really need me so i had time to write this, sorry its been so long!!! i hope everyones doing well and staying safe

part 1 part 2 part 3

“Is link your boyfriend?” Scout asked as his mother cut his waffles.

“No, he isn’t. We’re just friends.”

“Why do we spend so much time with him?” In the following weeks of the zoo excursion, the trio had done countless things with one another.

“Just cause.” Amelia quickly said, starting to get nervous, hoping her son wouldn't ask to elaborate.

“Okay.” Scout shrugged, dropping the subject. Eliciting a sigh of relief from his mother. “Is he coming to my softball game tonight?”

“Yeah, I think he is.”

“Oh.”

“Do you not want him to?”

“Well, he works for baseball players, and they’re all really good; what if he thinks I’m a bad player?”

“Oh babe, he won’t think that at all. I’m sure he’ll be very impressed.” It took a lot of begging for Amelia to allow Scout to play softball, but the more she watched her son played, the prouder she was of him. He was a good player for a kid his age.

_______________________________________

“Mom? What are you doing here?” Link asked as he opened his apartment door.

“I came to visit you since you never come to see us.” His mother brought him into a hug as she walked further in.

“A little notice would’ve been nice.” The man sighed, picking up the mini cooler that was on the counter and his sunglasses.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Maureen realized her son was getting prepared to leave. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Uh, yeah, I am.”

“There’s no baseball game today, though.” Maureen had checked before she came to assure her son would have time to spend with her.

“Yeah, I’m just going out; I’ll be back in maybe two hours? Just entertain yourself, and the guest room should be clean if you want to stay in there.” Link pointed across the hall.

“Okay, thanks.” Maureen sadly smiled, slightly offended at her sons' offish behavior.

________________________________________

“You look like your gonna throw up.” Link chuckled as he sat down next to Amelia handing her a water from the cooler.

“I’m just terrified he’s gonna hit his head in just the wrong space and immediately die.” Amelia quickly ranted as she watched her son step up to the base; this was her usual freak-out routine when her son would be playing.

“He’s gonna be just fine, Mia.” Amelia quickly diverted her attention to the man; he hadn’t used the nickname in 5 years. “Sorry I-“

“Shh.” Amelia shushed him as their son hit the ball and start bolting for the next base, standing up when he fell face-first as he tried to reach the base. “Crap.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He grabbed her arm, seating her, when he got up and kept running. “He’s okay.”

“Okay.” Amelia shifted awkwardly, putting her hand on her chest to try and control her breathing. “I hate this.”

“Look at how happy he is, though.” Link loved his son, even if the boy didn’t know he was his father. But that fact broke his heart; to the little boy, he was just a friend.

“He’s getting suspicious.”

“Hmm?” Link hummed, shoving some peanuts in his mouth.

“He asked if we were dating; I said no, obviously.” For some reason, this stung the man. “But he’s smart; he’s gonna realize eventually, so maybe we should talk about telling him.”

“And you're okay with this?” Link asked hopefully.

“He’s gonna find out eventually.” Amelia sighed, picking at her nail. “I mean, I don’t really have a choice; I’ve already messed up too much. Depriving both of you of a relationship from each other.”

“I don’t blame you, not anymore.” Link whispered. “You were protecting him, and yourself. I mean, I’m upset I missed so much, but I get it.” Amelia looked at the man and genuinely smiled.

“Thank you.” The woman whispered with tears in her eyes.

_______________________________________

“Mom, did you see that?” Scout cheered as he ran into his mother’s arms. “I made a home run!”

“I know, I’m so so so proud of you.” Amelia laughed as she spun the boy around.

“You did really great, bud.” Link smiled, patting the boy's back.

“Thanks, Link.” Scout smiled brightly.

“I’ll have to take you to a Mariners game sometime.” Link smiled, thinking about bringing his son to a game and introducing him to the players. “If it’s okay with your mom, of course.”

“We can work something out.” Amelia reluctantly smiled.

“Can we get donuts?” Scout asked, jumping on the balls of his feet.

“Sure.” Amelia laughed at her sons' excitement over donuts, reminding her of how her ex-boyfriend used to act.

“Can Link come?” Scout asked.

“If he wants to.” Amelia smiled at the man, who eagerly nodded.

“I’d love to; donuts are my absolute favorite.” Link smiled, knowing that his son loved his favorite snack as much as he did. “You know they have a Gotham Donuts in Seattle now?”

“I didn’t,” Amelia said, taken aback, thinking back to the New York fiasco, and how she was falling in love with the man.

“Let’s go!!!!” Scout said, starting to get impatient, pulling his mother’s arm.

“Alright, alright.”

________________________________________

“They don’t taste exactly like the ones in New York, but they’re still my favorite.” Link said after he shoved a whole donut in his mouth.

“Everything pastry wise is better in New York. Especially, bagels,” Amelia remarked.

“Yeah, my mom won’t let us ever get bagels. Only when we’re in New York.” Scout laughed, making Link smile. The man recalled one morning when he brought home breakfast bagels for the two, and she refused to eat them.

“She’s very dramatic, huh?” Link smirked, making eye contact with the woman.

“Hey! Am not!” Amelia playfully defended.

“You are, though, mommy.” Scout agreed with the man.

“Alright, I guess just a little bit.” Amelia caved, running the boy's hair through his fingers, noticing the boy's eyes start to droop the longer they sat. “You getting tired, bud?”

“Mmmhmm.” The boy nodded, snuggling into his mother’s side.

“Okay, let’s get you to bed.” Amelia helped scout out of the booth. “Thanks so much, Link.”

“Yeah, of course.” He’d been trying to keep his tears at bay as he watched the interaction between the two. “Great job today!”

“Thanks.” Scout waved as the two walked off.

________________________________________

When Link arrived back at his apartment, he found dinner in the microwave, and his mother fast asleep in the spare bedroom. The bedroom that should be Scout’s. He remembered the night the couple crashed at his apartment, and he took her into the room, and they mapped out how the nursery would be set up. The orthopedic surgeon shook the thought of his head and went into his room, quickly finding his bed and falling asleep.

“Link.” His mother’s soft voice jutting him out of sleep.

“What?” Link asked, somewhat shocked to of been woken up, almost forgetting his mother was even there.

“You left your phone in the kitchen, and someone called Meredith keeps calling.” Maureen raised her eyebrow, trying to determine if this was a possible love interest.

Link took the ringing phone from his mother while trying to contain his eye roll. “What’s up?”

“Don’t freak out.” Meredith’s shaky voice rang in his ears.

“What? What happened?” Link sat up abruptly in his bed, his mother perking up at her sons' nervousness.

“There was a car crash.” Before she could continue, he jumped up from his bed and started to get dressed, trying to calm his shakiness. “Scout is fine. Maggie is with him, and he just has a tiny laceration on his forehead, which is being patched up as we speak?”

“And Amelia?” The man's heart dropped at the hesitation, suddenly regretting everything that had not happened between the two, especially not fighting to be in her and her sons' life.

“She was unconscious when they brought her in; Koracick is bringing her up to CT. He’s the best.” Link could sense the woman’s pain with saying that; he knew she’d prefer her late husband. The one who Amelia would talk so fondly of, and aspire to be.

“And the other person?” The man asked, heading to the door, his mom following him and confiscated his keys. He was about to yell at her until he realized how shaky his hands were; it was probably too dangerous to drive himself.

“Tox screen came back; he was definitely intoxicated. He should be fine, though.” Before he knew what he was doing, he abruptly hung up, regretting that he even asked. Once the pair got to the parking lot, everything seemed to be in slow motion. He remembered his mom asking for directions, and standing outside of the hospital, unable to find the strength to walk in.

[depressedacadamia]

The Anatomy of the Sun- Chapter I

Edit- This is the first chap in a Percy Jackson/ Greys anatomy AU as well as my first fic! It’s going to follow the Grey’s anatomy plot behind the patients and the romances will be loosely based off it. I hope you do enjoy it! It was inpsired by @buoyantsaturn and their fic ‘Into you like a train’. 

Summary: Dr Will Solace just transferred to the New York Presybetarian hospital to become their Head of Trauma. Dr Nico Di Angelo is a month fresh out of Med- school and is starting his internship at New York Presbytarian. Nico, excited to join his best friend and head of the neurology department- Percy Jackson, wants to prove that he is not just the legacy that his sister- Bianca Di Angelo, left. As the doctors battle to save lives, they also battle to save relationships- but some may say it's too late. 

Chapter I- Work Work

Nico could feel his chest pounding as he drove. It wasn’t a good kind of pounding, not that there ever really is, but a -my heart is beating so damn fast - kind of pounding. Today was his first day at New York Presbytarian Hospital as an actual doctor. A surgeon. An intern.

 He groaned as he remembered that he would basically be the servant of his bosses for the next year. He wished his sister was here- she’d tell him how awesome he’d be, all the cool parts of internship and how ‘the friends you make here are friends for life’. Nico wasn’t nervous about friends though- he had known the Head of Neuro, Percy Jackson, for almost his entire life. In fact, it had been Percy who inspired him to become a surgeon. Nico knew- As a surgeon, you either have what it takes to play or you don’t. Nico’s sister , Bianca, was one of the greats, Nico on the other hand was so screwed.

The first Nico noticed about the hospital was that it was very very bright. Maybe it wasn’t and Nico was panicking; it wouldn’t be so beyond him. He watched as several other cars pulled up with other newbies similar to himself. He noticed that some people had their own stethoscopes- would anybody notice that his was used? The stethoscope he wore had the initials B.D.A engraved into the side of the drum. Did it matter if someone noticed that his was old? He could easily afford a new one either way but he had wanted to wear his sister's one. He hoped it would bring him good luck because he had a good feeling that he was going to need it. 

He walked into the Hospital where he was directed to a cleared Operating Room for the new interns who were having their introduction. He passed a group of attendings, all of whom he vaguely recognised but he noticed one in particular with curly blond hair. Of all the years he had tagged along with Percy to hang out at the hospital, he had never seen that dude- Why haven’t I seen him before?

“Every one of you comes here today hopeful, wanting in the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors- Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you- say hello to your competition. 8 of you will switch to an easier speciality. 5 of you will crack under the pressure, 2 of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line- This is your arena. How do you play? That's up to you,” A man with long brown hair and greying roots dramatically explained. Nico realised that this was the Chief of Surgery- Chiron! Nico was surprised to learn that he still worked here after all these years. He recalled Bianca talking about Chiron who had been her mentor. 

Nico looked around at what was his competition-  as he thought, he was so screwed.

As he made his way into the locker room, some faces became familiar. He recalled some of these faces- the people he had met at the mixer. Nico decided to focus on work and not making friends; if someone spoke to him, he’d reply but he was not initiating any conversations. He had diagnosed himself with the overall dislike of humanity. Just as he was contemplating wearing his white coat, ( he remembered Bianca telling him that everyone knows that the doctors with the cleanest coats are the newbies and he did not want people noticing) the girl to his left with cropped brown hair and a determined expression tapped him on the shoulder.

“You’re Nico right? Which resident have you got?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m Nico and I’ve got Chase. What about you?”

 “ Same. And it’s Meg.”

A guy from across the room turned around, excited to have something in common with others. His hair was short and blond but not the same colour as the new attending that Nico had noticed earlier. This guy's hair was almost a platinum kind of blond whereas the attending had golden hair- Like the colour of sunrise. 

“You’ve got her too? So did I- You’re Nico, Nico Di Angelo right? I’m Jason Grace- we met at the mixer. You made a bold impression; black, skinny ripped jeans,  Ramone T-shirt and skull rings despite the fact it was obviously a work event… Okay I’ll stop talking,” The man rushed out all at once.

“Grace, Mccaffrey, Di Angelo and June!” A voice called out into the locker room. Nico looked at what were supposed to be his future friends. If he was supposed to feel some sort of magical bond with them- he sure as hell was not. The girl in front (who Nico could only assume was Dr June) was almost hopping - okay, she’s a happy person,  Avoid her at all costs- he put in a mental reminder. Nico watched as she approached the Blonde woman at the desk. Nico almost face palmed- Her surname was Chase- this had to be Percy’s girlfriend that he had been telling him about over the phone a while ago. June started talking only to be cut off.

“I’m Juniper June but most people just call me-”  

“I have 5 rules, memorise them. Rule number 1- don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone list and pagers-” Annabeth pointed to the desk behind her. There lay 4 pagers which all the interns, including Nico, scrambled forward to grab.

“-Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run- you hear me? A run, Rule number 2- Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies- bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop and don’t complain!” She called as she led them across the bridge and into the second section of the hospital. Nico, not being the tallest person, struggled slightly to keep up.  They walked into a dark room that seemed to have bunk beds with thin mattresses and flimsy unmade covers. 

“On call rooms- attendings hog them- sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to Rule number 3. If I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number 4- the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed a person, you would have woken me up for no good reason. We clear?” 

Nico was clear but he also wasn’t. He doesn’t remember Bianca telling him any of these rules and he also didn’t recall hearing the 5th rule. Did she already say it when he wasn’t listening? He didn’t think so but he also didn’t want to look like an idiot. He decided to ask, if he was going to fail at this hospital, he might as well fail knowing everything there was to know.

“That's only 4 rules. You said there were 5.” Nico slid in between Meg and Dr Grace, his head only up to the bases of their necks. Just Nico said those words, he heard a beeping which he could only assume came from someone's pager. Annabeth immediately looked down, grabbing the pager she had tagged into her waist.

“Rule number 5- When I move, you move.”

Hour 1

Nico slipped on his gloves as he stood in the elevator with the other interns. The second he heard its ‘ping’ he rushed forward, eager to learn. The wind blasted into his eyes and immediately, Nico raised his hands to cover his face. His hair flopped about as the helicopter descended in front him. He raised his head slightly and saw the same golden haired attending that he had noticed earlier- Nico took a guess that he was the trauma surgeon. He followed Dr. Chase who ran forward and helped lift the stretcher out of the helicopter. Nico perked his ears up as he heard the trauma surgeon recite her history.

“Katie Bryce, 15 years old, female, new onset seizures- intermittent for the past week. IV lost en route- Started grand mal seizing as we descended,” He shouted over the loud roar of the engine. Crap, Grand mal seizures, really? God really thought lets give me a hard case. They rushed to get her inside and Nico was trying to not panic as he heard Dr. Chase command the staff like it was her own mini army.

 “Put her on her side. 10 Milligrams of diazepam. No, the white lead is on the right. Righty whitey, smoke over fire. Give her a large bore IV, Don’t let the blood hemolyze.”

A different doctor walked in, his hair was black and cut short. His skin was a creamy white and Nico recognised the second language under ‘Doctor Zhang’ on his white coat to be chinese. 

“Dr. Chase, what do we have?” He asked, flipping through her chart. 

“Right now, nothing.”

“Okay, let's shotgun her.” He raised his hands and took a step backwards, allowing for the interns to continue their treatment. 

“Okay, you heard the man. Shotgun means every test in the book- CT, CBC, Chem 7, Tox screen. Mccaffery- you’re running labs, Grace- patient work ups and Di Angelo- take her for a CT,” Dr. Chase ordered

“Um, Dr. Chase, I think you forgot me,” Juniper piped up meekly. Annabeth turned around and gave her a firm look before telling her,

“Honey, you’re doing rectal exams.”

Nico couldn’t tell if he should laugh at the poor intern or console her. 

Each intern was busy. Extraordinarily busy. Nico did not expect the line for the CT machine to be so long. This was the best hospital in all of New York! You’d think they would be much faster but no, here Nico was with his patient who he had recently learnt, loved to talk… about herself.

“I’m missing my pageant,” Kaite whined.

“You’re missing your pageant?” Nico had to physically restrain himself from snorting. So that's what non- doctors  and people with normal lives did. Things like going to pageants.

“Yeah! And I was super excited because the judges were getting to the talents for the pageant- Mine is rhythmic gymnastics. I sprained my ankle and fell when I was training but now I was soo ready but then...” she threw her arms up slightly signifying everything around them and Nico understood- she had a seizure which stopped her from competing.

 “Katie Bryce’s labs came out clear, nothing in the results that would explain her seizures,” Meg informed Dr. Chase who was currently peeking her head out of a surgery. Dr. Chase nodded and was about to return to assisting on the procedure when Meg started talking again

“I heard that the attending picks the most promising intern on the first to perform a minor procedure.”

Dr. Chase looked anything but impressed.

“Go away,” she deadpanned as she closed the door in Meg’s face and returned to her surgery.

“It’s just what I heard!” Meg mumbled exasperatedly as she left the scrub room.

Hour 7

The cafeteria was full. One would think the hospital cafeteria would be stocked with healthy foods but in reality it was quite the opposite. It was stacked with a bunch of doctors telling you to eat healthy food as they stuffed their faces with pizza. The seating arrangements weren’t much different from a high school. You sit with who you know and avoid the ones in charge. Meg, Jason, Juniper and a group of other interns were all grouped together not too far away from the group of attendings and 3 residents. 

 “You know Nico is inbred.” Meg popped the fact onto the other interns. 

“Like it’s uncommon to be related to a doctor, my sister is Dr Thalia Grace.”Jason pointed his thumb to the girl with jet back hair and array of ear piercings who was currently smiling wickedly. 

“No like royally inbred, his sister is Bianca Di Angelo,” Meg insisted. 

“Shut up! The Bianca Di Angelo?” Juniper joined in.

“Who is Bianca Di Angelo?” Jason, as clueless as ever, asked. The entire table exploded into whispers and gasps.

“Where do you live, under a rock? The angel method? Where do you think that came from?”

“She’s a living legend!”

“She’s won 2 harper Averies!”

“Talk about familial pressure.”

“Um, incoming Nico Di Angelo,” Jason tried to speak over the food in his mouth unsuccessfully. Luckily, the other interns looked in the direction of him and shut their mouths up in time. Nico, with his 3rd cup of coffee that day slumped into a chair and slammed his head onto the table.

“Katie Bryce is a pain in my ass. If I hadn’t taken the hippocratic oath, I’d kevorkian her with my bare hands,” Nico groaned. Juniper, eager to get his mind off an annoying patient chirped in,

“I heard Chase and Jackson were dating- A resident and an attending!”

“They are,” Nico confirmed as the interns stole glances at the attending and the resident together, surprised that Dr. Chase had the ability to laugh or smile.

“Who wants to go for an attending? Bet ya none of you can,” Meg poked fun at them.

“I bet ya I could do Solace, he’s new apparently,” Nico hummed as he peacefully sipped his coffee, closing his eyes to enjoy the smell that drifted into his nose.

“Meg, you wanna go for Valdez?” Juniper curiously poked.      

“Nah, he’s only a resident and besides- He’s totally making eyes at Calypso. Letting a resident try to get into an attending pants is way more fun. I wanna see him fall into a hole.”

All of the interns stopped and turned to Meg, a slightly horrified look growing on their faces.

“Okay, now that Satan has stopped talking, who wants to put down their bets?” Jason beamed as Meg sneaked a quick punch to arm which had him cowering for a bit longer than necessary. The interns were all mucking about until a new voice joined the conversation.

“Hey! I just transferred to Chase’s service, I don’t really know anyon-”

“-Hazel?”  Nico’s confused voice echoed and his eyes shot open at the recognition of the soft voice.  

 “Nico?”  Hazel raised an eyebrow. They had both agreed to go to work in separate hospitals to limit family drama.  Ever since they had found out they were related, the family tensions had been higher than ever. Nico had assumed Hazel would go to a different hospital and leave New York Presbyterian for him and it seems Hazel had assumed the same vice versa.        

“You two know each other?” A voice, recognised as Meg, called out. 

“I’m Doctor Hazel Levesque. Newest Surgical intern under Dr Chase.” She reached out and gave her hand to Meg who shook it firmly. She gave another hand shake to Jason and a nod to Nico- both of them had ignored Meg’s question.  

“Final call, who’s going in?” Jason reminded them. 

“Me- Solace is new, hot, probably clueless and he’s the new Head attending in trauma.” Nico slammed his hand onto the table, indicating he was all in. It was easy, right? Seduce him and then manipulate. It couldn’t be too hard. 

Around 2 tables away from the interns, the attendings and residents were chatting away. Will, who had only recently joined the hospital, was still getting used to the way people behaved here. Everyone was so much more nice than he had expected. He remembered how people warned him about New York folks but in all honesty, Will would say that he was having a pretty good time, especially if the Di Angelo intern stayed in his eyeline-

“-Solace is eyeing the interns!” Percy’s excited voice cut into Will’s thoughts. Horrified, Will managed to sputter out,

“I am not eyeing the interns!”

“I like the newbie, she seems nice- better than the rest at least,”Frank mumbled about Hazel as he sipped at his hot tea. Piper to his left admitted,

“Blond one’s hot.”     

“That blond one is my brother,” Thalia grunted.

“Why doesn’t anyone call me hot?” Leo pouted as he rolled up the other sleeve of his shirt calling the attention of Calypso’s eyes. 

I’d totally call you hot , She thought.

She only glanced once.. Maybe twice… okay she was staring at him. But ever since Leo had become a resident, she kept on thinking they had to potential to become what.. Well, what Annabeth and Percy had become. Sure, she had rejected all his previous advances but she didn’t want to. She just didn’t think the timing was right- She was very aware that simply telling him the timing wasn’t right was a much more mature thing to do than acting bratty every time he spoke to her.

“Valdez, go make sure none of the pre-surgery kids aren’t sneaking pudding. There’s always bound to be one.” Dr Reyna Ramirez batted her hand towards her resident who gave her a mock salute before walking off. Calypso, unaware that everyone was watching, had her eyes glued to Leo.

 “Calypso is totally checking out Valdez- Mother Hen Reyna watch out- Calypso is after your chicks,” Percy snickered making a joke to the fact that Leo was Reyna’s resident- before Piper smacked him on the back of the head indicating a Shut it, hypocrite.

“No I’m not!” Calypso insisted, whipping her head, that only moments ago was glued to Leo’s ass. She ducked her head and sided next to Piper and Will.

“Calypso eyeing Leo is old news, please make sure you keep yourself updated,” Annabeth proclaimed, her head resting against Percy while his arm was snaked around her waist.    

“I will tell you what’s new then, Solace watching Nico like he’s fresh meat. That’s my bro that you’re checking out man.”     

 “I am NOT checking out Di Angelo!”  

 “Zhang, who are you picking for the procedure?” Annabeth curiously asked and also slightly eager to move away from the current topic. In all honesty, Annabeth expected Frank to choose Di Angelo- He was clearly the most promising and most experienced if one could even call an intern that. Annabeth knew that Percy and Nico had practically grown up together and besides he was a Di Angelo- Surely if his sister could cut, so could he.

“I’m gonna go with Grace.”

“He is not ready for that. Not to be a terrible sibling but he gets flustered a tad easily,” Thalia butted in, trying to protect her brother. She loved him but Jason was a tad sensitive and rustling his feathers was almost too easy.

“Torture one and the rest will fall in line,” Frank admitted half heartedly. He didn’t want to Pick on Jason- he seemed like a great kid, But he also didn’t want to have to have a bunch of misbehaving interns who had egos too big for the hospital because nobody ever put them in line. 

“Are you sure about Grace though?” Annabeth pushed, her voice slightly uneasy. Percy, who noticed this, squeezed her waist gently as a gesture of comfort, affection even. Percy was watching Nico’s table. The interns seemed to be having fun, no one was picking on Nico which was the most important thing and he figured soon the interns would realise Nico’s infamy- of being a Di Angelo of course. What he totally didn’t expect however, was Nico to get out of his chair and casually stroll over towards the group of attendings and residents. 

Nico honestly did not know what he was thinking. Was he being bold? Absolutely. Was he acting on impulse? Most obviously. Was he regretting every step towards them? Definitely. 

He saw Percy’s eyes widen ever so slightly before his face rested into a comforting, genuine smile- something Nico truly appreciated. If Percy was acting nice, the rest of the group were bound to follow his lead, right? Nico shuffled past 2 of the attendings, reaching behind them to gain access to the coffee machine.

Will didn’t know how to react. Did interns normally come and hang out with attendings here? He had no idea. Percy looked as if he knew Nico all his life and he did tell him earlier; That's my bro you’re checking out man. Were they actually related? Or did they just know each other for a long time? By now, all the attendings were settled at their own tables and Piper had unfortunately been rushed off for emergency surgery on one of her patients, leaving Will to sit by himself at a table. That was until Nico was standing by one of the chairs.

Nico took a deep breath and stood by the chair at Will’s almost empty table. It had taken Will a couple of seconds to notice that there was someone even at his table before he almost jolted backwards, alarmed by the shadow that had appeared on his table. Immediately, out of politeness, he gestured towards a seat.

“Do you wanna take a seat?” He offered politely. He watched as the intern hesitated. He could see how nervous he seemed and for a minute he really pitied him- It was no doubt stressful to be the brother of a famous surgeon, especially a Di Angelo.

“Are you sure? I mean, aren't you an attending, ya know, my boss and-”

“-Calm down, it's just a seat,” Will cut off Nico’s rambling and offered the man a seat. Gingerly Nico took it and looked down at his coffee. 

Nico did not think making Dr Solace treat him so nicely was going to be so easy. All he had to do was give a shy look away and blabber a bit and the next thing he knew, Dr. Solace had his hand on top of Nico’s and was shuffling his chair closer to his. Nico realised it was now or never- he had to start sending the right message. 

 “I’ve always found trauma interesting- ya know? Never knowing what's going to come into those doors. Percy used to tell me how much he hated it,” Nico laughed gently, making sure he accidentally  brushed his leg against Dr Solace’s.

“Trauma? Really? Lucky for you, I just so happen to be the new attending on that.”

“I think I’m much more lucky than you think I am, if you catch my draft,” Nico mummuered, smirking slightly, his eyes dropping to Will's lips causing Will to finally get what he meant. Will, slightly flustered by Nico’s onset attitude, flushed pink slightly. He was flattered greatly that someone as good looking as Nico found him attractive but he didn’t want to cause commotion or draw so much attention to himself  so early either. He wasn’t gonna lie, he totally was into Nico but Will knew that he could be putting Nico’s job at risk, not to mention his own. But it wasn’t as if Nico was using him- Nico seemed too innocent for that and besides- he was a Di Angelo, people respected him and the holy ground he walked on.

“If all goes well in your first surgery, feel free to send that draft out again.” Will winked as he got up and threw away the remains of his terrible lunch before heading to the table with the remaining attendings.

“Impress him with your loving, then impress him with your healing,” Will heard Percy whisper, which earned Percy a punch in the arm from Piper, a dirty look from Annabeth and snort from Frank. Will, slightly sick of Percy’s teasing, stormed off to the department at the entrance of the hospital which all the staff here called ‘The Pit’ for some reason. Percy, as clueless as ever was trying to remain a straight face and Frank was struggling to keep on being the mature one.

Hour 10

Nico was adequately proud of himself- he didn't flirt with people often ( mainly because normally it was people flirting with him) but he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t slightly nervous when he was walking towards the room of Katie Bryce and saw a man and woman at the desk- Nico presumed they were married due to the wedding rings they wore.

 “Katie Bryce, Room 3604?” Nico asked the couple. They nodded eagerly and the 3 adults had a quick conversation where Nico informed them that he wasn’t Katies actual doctor, but still was a doctor, and that he would go and find said doctor. Nico, who didn’t actually know who Katie’s doctor was now, had to verbally tell himself to not panic and he managed to figure out that he should ask Dr. Chase (he prayed she wasn’t sleeping). Luckily, Dr Chase was charting at the nurses station and when she heard his meek footsteps approaching, her head snapped up and she raised an eyebrow.

“Katie Bryce’s parents want to speak with the head on the case. Shall I page Dr. Zhang?” 

“Dr Zhang? No, this patient belongs to Neuro now- Dr Jackson, he’s right around the corner.” Annabeth flicked her pen towards her boyfriend who was speaking to two other attendings- who Nico recognised to be Dr Mclean and Dr Ramirez. He waved over to Percy who smiled and dismissed the two doctors before making his way over to Nico and throwing his arm around Nico’s shoulders while ruffling his hair. Nico did not allow the gesture from anyone but felt comforted by it from Percy.

“Percy!”  Nico almost squealed as Percy rubbed his knuckles into Nico’s head keeping him in a loose headlock.

“Death! I haven’t seen you in ages! How has it been?” Percy smiled as he began walking them towards the hallway. Nico cringed slightly from the nickname. Death was not something you want to be called at a hospital, especially if you were a doctor.

“Oh you know, Chase is tough but she knows what she’s doing.”

“She better, she learnt from the best,” Percy said proudly, pointing towards himself. Nico took this as an opportunity to lower Percy’s ego and asked

“Chiron?”

“You smug little-” Percy was cut off by Nico’s shrieks and protests to stop as Percy tickled him. Was it evil of Percy to tickle Nico? Perhaps, especially since he knew that Nico was one of the most ticklish people to ever exist.

Hour 15

Interns filtered into the viewing box above the operating room- they were all excited to watch one of them perform the first surgery. Jason, however, was terrified. He was muttering the basics of the procedure again and again as the crowd filtered in above him. If he made one mistake, everyone would see it, everyone would know and he would become the intern who couldn’t cut.

“Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close. Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close,” he muttered continuously, his eyes scrunched shut in fear.

Meanwhile, in the overhead viewing box, interns started placing bets. Sure, everyone was excited that an intern was assisting but they were also bitter. It would be a lie to tell you that no one in that room had thought that they should be down there operating room instead of Dr Grace. As Nico came in, he was slightly surprised to hear people making bets- sure, Jason had taken the surgery from them but betting? Was that really necessary? Especially since they were betting on his demise rather than him succeeding.

“30 dollars if he can’t open the peritoneum.”

“35 if he faints, he seems like a fainter.”

“40 says he kills the guy.”

“50 says he pulls off the whole thing,” Nico, who was sick of hearing the interns bet, cut in, “That's one of us in there- where’s your loyalty?”  Nico had grown up with a loyal best friend- Percy- so if he valued anything in a person it was loyalty. He watched as poor Jason moved his lips, mumbling the procedure. He really hoped Jason didn’t butcher this- he had kind of put his trust in him over here. Jason turned to the nurses as they performed the time- out- reciting the patient's name, sex and other vital information such as the actual surgery- an appendectomy . 

“Scalpel,” Jason ordered his hand reaching towards the nurse. As soon as it made contact with Jason’s hand, the interns went wild. The interns were cheering, clapping and whistling. It was official, Jason was the first intern to pick up a scalpel on a live patient. Even Nico joined in on the cheering, leaning back slightly in his seat and clapping- that was until Dr Zhang turned towards the interns and mimicked silence. The interns understood- Dr Grace does not need distractions. 

“That Zhang is trouble,” Hazel muttered, biting her lip gently. Nico, trying to resist a smirk, leaned over and whispered,

“Hazel’s got a crush.”  

Hazel, as chill as ever (sarcasm intended), pinched Nico’s arm making him flinch, pout and then rub gently at his slightly reddened flesh. Jason was trying to concentrate- he had never thought that one would have to apply so much pressure to cut into human flesh so of course, he hesitated a bit. However, once he was through, he started to find it a bit easier.

“Pickups…. Clamps,” he ordered.

“Dammit, he got through the peritoneum, I’m out,” the intern who betted on Jason admitted defeat as Jason continued.

“Scalpel….. And Appendix is out!”

Despite Dr Zhang's previous warnings, the interns went wild. Jason did it, he actually did it. Nico could see all the interns freaking out and while he was truly happy for Jason, he knew that he hadn’t finished. He had to close and celebrating too early may jinx him. Dr Zhang, who didn’t mind the interns celebrating, began to instruct Jason on his remaining steps.

“Now all you have to is insert the stump into the cecum and simultaneously pull the up on the purse strings, but be careful not to-” Frank was cut of by the distinct sound of sutures snapping- a sound which caused the silence of everyone and echoed 

“- Break them,” Frank finished his sentence, sighing. He wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t expect this but he hoped that the intern would fix his mistake quickly. He watched as Jason struggled nervously. Jason himself didn’t even know what he had just done- all he could replay in his head was the snapping sound and the feeling of the suture breaking. The loss of tension in his hand as he accidently pulled too hard. Out of all the useful knowledge he had, it was that recent memory that just kept on replaying in Jason’s head.

“You’ve just ripped the cecum, you’ve got yourself a bleeder! What do you do now?” Dr Zhang tried to encourage him but it was no use. Nico watched as Jason froze.

Damn it Jason come on! Alas, Nico couldn’t help but think, Jason was like a deer in headlights- Bambi. Jason didn’t know how to react- what did he do now? He hadn’t considered the possibility if the sutures snapped. 

“Think- You stop the suctions and start searching for those purse strings before he bleeds to death,” Dr Zhang instructed, his voice the only clear thing in the room other than the drastic beeping coming from the monitor. Nico could feel everybody in the room holding their breath- this moment was either going to make or break Jason.

“Give him a clamp,” Dr Zhang ordered.

“BP’s dropping,” a nurse warned. The interns watched with anxiety for their fellow intern- Jason was frozen, his hands stuck mid-air. 

“BP is getting too low.”   

Finally Dr Zhang had to make a decision and he held his hand out to the nurses,  

“Move. Suction and Clamps.”  

The interns all groaned, throwing their heads back or burying their heads between their hands. Money was passed around and Nico could only feel pity for the blond boy who looked like bambi in the operating room. As interns began to leave, people began to whisper.

“He’s a 007.”   

“Yeah! Totally a 007.”

“What’s 007?” Juniper looked around, slightly confused. Nico, morbid as ever, kept his eyes trained on the surgeon operating as he told Juniper.

“License to kill.”

Hour 19

Jason sat in a wheelchair (that he most likely did not want to know where it had been) as he rolled the wheels back and forth complaining. He still couldn’t believe that he had frozen up like that. Not only that but he knew what the consequences of it was now. 

“Everyone is calling me 007,” He complained, still embarrassed from his poor performance. Nico and Meg- both of whom were sick of his whining- answered at the same time.

“No one is calling you 007.”

“Really? A dude in the elevator whispered 007 and everyone started laughing!”

“007 is a state of mind,” Hazel called out as she waited by the old vending machine. It waited a bit too long for Hazel’s patience and thus she gave it a light kick to keep it going.

“Says the girl who finished first in her class at Stanford,” Jason retorted, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Nico was enjoying this mindless banter, it was the first break he had in a while and it was relaxing to be able to not have to think critically for once. Of course, because fate hated Nico in particular, Nico’s pager beeped causing him to groan and accidentally bang his head as he pulled out his pager, causing his eyes to widen.

“Ah, fuck. Someone is paging me 911 on Katie Bryce, gotta go!” 

Nico hopped off the spare stretcher he was on and practically ran towards the stairs desperate to get the patient's room. As Nico left, he let out a small snort of laughter for he heard Jason mumble,

“I should have gone into geriatrics- nobody minds when you kill an old person.”

Nico gasped for air as he walked into room 3604 and saw a perfectly healthy and fine Kate Bryce. What the hell? Did she lose the ability to talk? Because that wasn’t a 911, that was a thank the gods. He looked around for any crash cart or indicator that there was actually anything wrong with her.

“There’s nothing wrong with you?” He panted, feeling his anger bubble up. Katie simply shrugged, twirling her platinum blond hair that looked dyed. 

“I’m bored.” 

Nico gasped and face palmed- he just could not with this girl! Would giving her an early death count as breaking the hippocratic oath? Man, he really wanted to punch Hippocrates- making doctors swear a damn oath on Apollo! 

“This is a hospital, people are dying, people who actually require a doctor's help! Go to sleep,” Nico explained, his voice raising slightly due to the interruption of his very calming break- he considered hearing Jason complain better than any sort of time spent with this patient. Katie, however, did not want to comply with what was being asked of her.

“I can’t sleep, my heads all full!” Katie whined slightly, throwing her head back softly against the propped up pillows. 

“That's called thinking, go with it, maybe you’ll learn something new.”

Hour 21

 Annabeth was happy right now. In this moment as she and Percy lay snuggled up against each other cuddling in the on call rooms, Annabeth was happy. She had to catch up on her sleep and Percy was a neurosurgeon- his surgeries were tiring and required him to be well rested (something that never happened either way) for him to perform at his best ability. She could hear Percy’s heart thumping under her ear as she lay with her head on his chest and one of her legs thrown on top of his. The sound and vibrations were comforting, relaxing, easing her to sleep- she was happy.

Juniper did not feel so happy right now. She was standing at the nurses station staring at the on - call room that she knew Dr Chase to be in. As she stood by the nurses station, a nurse leaning on the desk asked her what she wanted. 

“Mr Anderson has chunky veins, he needs antibiotics and I should start a central line,” Juniper admitted, looking away. The nurse, not even glancing up from his chart simply told her,

“Then start one…” 

Juniper's silence told him what he needed to know.

“...And you don’t know how to. You know what that means.” The nurse nodded his head towards the on call room where Dr Chase resided. Juniper had to physically restrain herself to stop herself from shivering. She was about to break Rule 3. She peeked her head into the dark on call room where she initially thought she was about to accidentally become scarred for life. However, what she saw surprised her. Dr Chase was soundfully asleep next to Dr Jackson. Their arms were intertwined with each other and Dr Jackson had one arm wrapped around Dr Chase’s waist. They looked so peaceful, Juniper was so tempted to walk out and just let Mr Anderson get a nice trip to the morgue but she didn’t want to end up being called something like 007. She took a deep breath.   

“Dr chase, I don’t mean to bother you-”

“-Then don’t,” Annabeth snapped. She did not want to leave Percy, he was so warm and she wanted her damned sleep.

“It’s Mr Anderson,” Juniper started explaining.

“Is he dying?”

“No.” 

“Then stop talking to me.” Annabeth rolled over so that her back was towards Juniper. Juniper cleared her throat slightly which caused Percy to jerk his arm. Annabeth huffed, clearly agitated. 

“Next time you wake me, he better be so close to dead, there’s a tag on his toe.”

Hour 23

Nico was walking towards Katye Bryce’s room once again to check in on her. Hopefully, she had taken his advice and was soundly asleep by now. Yet, as Nico approached her room, he saw nurses running in and out of it- Nico picked up his pace until it was a run as he got into the room. Immediately, the nurses briefed him on what was going on.

“She’s having multiple Grand Mal seizures, now, how do you want to proceed? Dr Di Angelo, are you listening? We’ve given her diazepam, 2 milligrams of  Lorazepam- we just gave a second dose- Dr Di Angelo, you need to tell us what you want us to do!”

Nico was frozen. What in the name of Hades had happened while he was gone? He began to filter his thoughts-find out what's in her system and proceed from there. 

“You gave her lorazepam?” he asked.

“Yep, 4 milligrams.”      

“You’ve paged Chase and Jackson?”  He pushed.    

“Lorazepam isn’t working!”

“Phenobarbital, 2 milligrams,” He blurted, remembering the drug from a chemistry quiz he had gotten completely correct due to Bianca’s old notes.       

“Heart’s stopped!” a nurse called out. Nico’s brain called out Code Blue, Code Blue! But his mouth could not move. What was he doing? He normally acted on immediately in emergency situations- they were practically his reflexes. He had to focus. He closed his eyes for a second.

Focus Nico, focus- this girl is literally dead. 

His eyes snapped open- he was still panicking but now that he had a second to think, he had a vague idea of what to do.

“Okay, start compressions- grab the crash cart. Charge the pads to 200.” Nico turned his head towards the nurse operating the charge value on the defibrillator.  

“Clear!”

Katie Bryce’s jolted upwards, but her heart did not return to normal. The nurse opposite to Nico continued compressions on her body while the other nurse held an ambu bag to her face, squeezing it every 5 seconds to provide air for her lungs. 

“Still V-Fib, no change,” the nurse commented. 

“Charge to 300.”

“27 seconds since the heart stopped,” another Nurse informed.

 “Charge to 360, C’mon Katie. Clear!” Nico waited to see if her heart would react.

“ Okay, restarting compressions,” He ordered as he tried to think of the next step in running a code.

“49 seconds since the heart stopped.”

“Charge again, Clear!”

Everyone in the room waited anxiously as the monitor returned to beeping normally. 

“Sinus Rhythm.”

A collective sigh of relief was let out as people started filtering out.

 at the hell happened?” Percy asked as he speed walked into the room. He couldn’t help feeling a bit useless as he found his patient that was dying only seconds ago, alive and well- only it wasn’t him who had saved her, it was Dr Di Angelo.

“She had a seizure and her heart stopped,” Nico explained, sighing gently now that Percy was here. 

“You were supposed to be monitoring her.” Percy turned around to face Nico. Nico was not expecting the accusatory tone- sure he wasn’t expecting clap on the back either but a Oh hey for keeping her alive while I took ages to show up would have been nice. Nico had known Percy all his life but despite that, he had never seen such a cold, turned off side of him. Was this how doctors or surgeons did their jobs? Become cold to everyone around them? Nico tried to explain himself- the key word there being tried.

“I-”

“-Just go, I’ve got her now.” Dr Jackson batted his hand and Nico was dismissed. Nico felt dismissed. Was this the life of an intern? Being blamed for every small inconvenience so the attendings can feel less guilt on their backs? Nico didn’t do anything wrong- he followed protocol, just as he had been told. He ran the code and continually paged Dr Chase and Dr Jackson. Them not showing up was the issue here, not him. He had saved her life. Not them.

Nico’s mind felt dead. He was 23 hours into a 48 hour shift and already, he was feeling the pressure. Too much pressure- was there a point to this? Was there a point to any of this? Nico dragged his feet across the floor, trying to find the exit.

“When you get a 911, you page me immediately. If someone dies, it’s on my ass. You hear me? Di Angelo?” Dr Chase raised an eyebrow at the intern who practically ignored them as they walked to the exit door, ignoring everything around them. The interns, Jason and Hazel both noticed his abnormally pale face and dazed expression. Hazel, being the concerned sister she was, followed Nico as he started to gain speed towards the exit.

“Nico, are you okay?”She reached her arm out but Nico made no notice of her. He could feel his stomach become more and more uneasy. He leant against a pole with one hand and quickly threw up his lunch. He placed both of his hands on his thighs, remaining hunched over and trying to catch his breath. As he walked back towards the hospital, intending to go and wash his mouth out, he caught Hazel walking towards him with concern drawn all over her face.

“If you ever tell anyone…” Nico trailed off as he walked past her, entering the hospital again.

Hour 26

“You said it was a seizure disorder, now you’re saying it isn’t?” Mr Bryce, Katie’s father, asked with slight confusion. He stood by his wife's side, both his hands on his hips in a confrontive manner. 

“I’m saying that I don’t know. For now, I don’t have an answer for you. Now that Katie is stable-” Dr Jackson started explaining only to be cut off by the father.

“-We came here because this hospital is supposed to be the best in New York. That's my kid in there and you have the audacity to stand here and say I don’t know. I want someone else , a doctor that knows what they’re doing. A doctor better than you!”

“Mr Bryce, I can assure you that I’m working hard on Katie’s case-” Dr Jackson tried to keep himself calm. He was working hard but sometimes the body did things that science couldn’t explain. He was a doctor, a surgeon, not god. 

“- No, you’re not. If you were, you’d be able to give me some answers.”

Percy decided to leave the couple before he said something to them that he’d regret.

Dr Zhang was a calm, collected and highly skillful surgeon. He knew what he was doing as he explained the surgery to Mr Savitch.

“I put you on the bypass machine, which pumps blood for your heart, fix your ticker, take you off the machine- I’m done. Simple procedure.”

His wife -who was clutching her husband's hand so tightly her knuckles were turning white- asked Dr Zhang with a slightly relieved voice,

“So I have no reason to worry?”

“I’m very good at what I do but it’s still surgery- there are still some risks. I’ll see you in the Operating Room this afternoon Mr Savitch.” Frank waved his hand goodbye to the couple and left while Dr Grace stayed behind to reassure the patient.

“Dr Zhang is very good, you’ll be fine,” Jason confirmed.

“He’ll be fine right?” Mrs Savitch urged again, wanting a guarantee. Her eyes screamed Tell me my husband will live. Jason could not understand how she was feeling but he sympathised for her. He wanted to help her, he reminded him of his mother, a woman who worried often. 

“Tony’s gonna sail through it- You have nothing to worry about Gloria - I promise.”

Hour 30

Nico had no idea why he was here- in fact, he had no idea why any of the interns were here. They had all been called to the briefing room for a conference yet at no point had he been informed what exactly it was about. He glanced to his right to see Hazel holding sutures with a banana laying on her lap.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m suturing a banana with the vain hope that it wakes up my brain,” Hazel drawled her hand raising up to tighten the perfectly spaced sutures together- something Nico too had the talent for. Their heads both shot up as Dr Jackson, with Dr Chase beside him, walked in. Dr Solace also walked in, catching Nico’s eye as he leaned with his back on the door frame. 

“I’m gonna do something pretty rare for a surgeon. I’m gonna ask interns for help. Katie Bryce right now is a mystery- she isn't responding to medication. All the tests are clean but she’s having seizures, Grand mal seizures and we don’t know why. I need you to help me out,” all the interns sighed as Percy explained this. 

“I know you’re tired, I know you’re busy which is why I’m gonna give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Katie needs surgery- you get to do what no intern does. You get to scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Annabeth- I mean- Dr Chase will hand out the chart- The clock is ticking people. Let’s save a life,” Percy weakly smiled as he saw the eager interns scrambling for the files and gave Nico a wink as he left the room. Nico had to look down at his shoes to not blush- his crush on Percy had subsided years ago but what are you meant to do when people wink at you? 

Will decided to tag along to the intern conference being held by Dr Jackson- he’d get a chance to see the interns working under incredible amounts of pressure and have a look at potential residents to take under his wing as trauma residents. At least, that's what he told himself. In reality, he had wanted to see the Italian doctor who had the guts to flirt with him and then invite him to bed. Was Will offended? Of course! Did this intern think he was that easy? While Will told himself that wasn’t easy, a small part of his subconscious told him that him showing up to the intern conference for one gorgeous man proved otherwise.

As Nico left the conference room, Hazel jogged to catch up with him- though Nico didn’t know why she was jogging, she had much longer legs than him.

“Hey, I want in on Jackson’s surgery- you've been the intern on her case since the start- you want to work together? If we find the answer, we have a 50/50 chance of scrubbing in ,” She offered. 

“Sure, but I want in on the surgery.” Nico shrugged.

“So do I.”

“May the best surgeon scrub in,” Nico held out his hand for Hazel to shake. The game was on. 

The locker room was full of several other interns- all of whom were re-reading Katie’s chart as if their lives depended on it. Hazel and Nico were hunched together by their lockers- which were co-incidentally placed next to each other. There were 6 empty cups of coffee- 4 were Hazels and 2 were Nico’s. Rainbow sweet strips, Nico’s pick of course, were also present- Hazel had to beg Nico for a pack as he had 3 to himself. Nico was so used to staying up for unnecessarily long hours that he didn’t need as much caffeine to keep himself acting like a live human being, unlike his sister.

“So she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It’s not a tumor because the CT was clean,” Hazel confirmed.

“What about infection?” Nico suggested as he savagely bit into a rainbow gummy strip, ripping it away from his face causing sugar sprinkles to fly everywhere. Hazel shot him a look as she brushed them off her scrubs.

“No , there’s no white count, she has no C.T lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap.”

“What about an aneurysm?” 

“No blood on the C.T, no headaches, no drug use, no pregnancy, no trauma. Nico, what if this girl dies?”

“This is gonna sound really bad but I really wanted that surgery,” Nico confessed before continuing, “Her pageant talent is rhythmic gymnastics. What even is rhythmic gymnastics? I can’t even say it properly, I don’t know what it is!” 

“Oh come on, they have pageant talents?” Hazel started snorting with laughter with Nico joining only a mere matter of seconds later.  Rhythmic gymnastics- a totally odd and dangerous pageant talent. Why not go with knitting, there’s a less chance of falling. 

A less chance of falling. 

Nico’s brain raced- something about that was relevant- vital even. Why did that sound so important?

 Nico shot up, grabbing his sister by the arm. He thought he knew what was wrong with Katie.   

“Get up, come on. Come on!” Nico whisper- shouted as he grabbed Hazel who asked him what the hell he was on about. He told her about Katie’s fall during practise for rhythmic gymnastics when she had sprained her ankle- the chance of a small aneurysm to form.

“The only thing that she would possibly need is an angiogram,” Hazel realised as they both rushed out to find Dr Jackson. They found him in the elevator ,alone, and just as the door started closing, Hazel stuck her hand in the way of the door. Immediately she started talking.

“She has no headaches, no neck pain, her C.T is clean- there’s no medical proof of an aneurysm but what if she has one anyway?”

“How?” Percy questioned, slightly confused.

 “You see she twisted her ankle and fell. Just a bump on her head. It was so minor that her primary care doctor didn’t think to mention it in her history but there's a chance, right, Perce?” Nico almost begged, using the childhood nickname he used to call Percy, that he used to call his best friend. That is what he was doing at that moment- asking for his best friend to listen, not Dr Jackson.

“You know there’s a one in a million chance of that, literally,” Percy sighed, shaking his head. The siblings hung their heads as the situations settled- their diagnosis was getting shut down or so they thought it was. The lift opened and there stood Percy smiling. He waved his hands, signalling them to follow him. 

“Let's go find out if Katie is one in a million.”

Hazel and Nico were both silent as they waited in the cath lab- this was it for them. Either they become a pair of fools and Nico would tarnish the Di Angelo name or they get to be the first interns out of their year to assist on an advanced procedure. Percy stood with his arms folded, his black hair tousled and his jaw muscle ticking like crazy- Nico could also see that he was stressed although who for, Nico could not tell. 

“I’ll be damned. It's minor but it’s there- a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She’s bleeding into her brain,” Percy gasped slightly as he pointed his pen to the small black blobs on the screen. As they left the Cath Lab, Hazel and Nico were ready. They wanted to know who was getting the surgery- sure, they had agreed that the best surgeon would win but secretly, they had both hoped that they’d both be able to scrub it. 

“Uh, Dr Jackson, you said that the intern who brought the diagnosis would be able to scrub in,” Hazel gently reminded, her eyes hopeful and full of yearning.

“Unfortunately, I can’t have you both so Nico, you’re scrubbing in.”

Nico was over the moon- His first surgery was going to be with Percy and he was going to assist! However Hazel both looked and felt distraught. She knew she should feel more happy for her brother but she couldn’t help but feel a slight sliver of jealousy that he had only been chosen because Nico and Percy were childhood friends. As Nico turned around to apologise for her, he saw that she had already left without him.

Hour 34

Jason was in the scrub room waiting for Dr Zhang to finish up the surgery on Mr Savitch. Was he nervous? Of course, but he was also confident in Dr Zhang's skills as a surgeon. He was sipping a soda while charting, leaning with his back to the operating room- he didn’t want to get distracted by the surgery happening behind him. The door swung open with a Whack and Dr Zhang walked in, looking dejected. 

“That was quick, wow!” Jason said admirably- he knew Dr Zhang was good, but he didn’t think he could complete a surgery like that so fast!

“He didn’t make it. His heart had too much damage to get him off bypass- I had to let him go. It’s rare but it happens. It’s the worst part of the game,” Frank confessed as he washed his hands and splashed water onto his face, making him feel slightly more alive. Unlike Jason who swore his extremities went numb. 

This couldn’t be, right? Surely this was a prank- everyone would play a prank on him, he was the 007! He would walk into the operating room and see the nurses preparing to move him back to the ICU for post surgery care. Yes, yes that’s what this was- a whole prank. Dr Zhang was probably punishing him for almost killing a person in surgery and this was his equivalent of karma. Despite the idea, when Jason turned around, he regretted everything he saw. There was blood on the floor,the patient was still wide open, the heart monitor which was still attached to the patient showed no sign of cardiac activity. Jason could feel a lump in his throat, a lump that he just couldn’t swallow. Hos throat was dry and there were tears pricking at the corner of his eyes as he attempted to speak.

“B..but I told his wife Gloria that he would be fine- I promised her tha-”

“You what? The only person who can give a promise like that is God and I haven’t seen him holding a scalpel lately. You never promise a patient's family a good outcome!”Frank, in a rare moment of no self control, lashed out. Jason, who realised his mistake, decided to leave Dr Zhang to mourn what he considered his failure and inform the family of their greatest loss.

Frank slumped over the sink in the scrub room, rubbing at his head. He had never failed something so simple, how did he not foresee this? His fists clenched and relaxed as his mind went over the events of the surgery- he had never felt so much like a failure in his life as he did in this moment right now. 

As Jason approached the family, he could see their cheerful, happy faces, completely unaware of the soul- crashing news that he was about to bring them. Gloria ,who noticed him on instinct, immediately smiled wider- she thought she was going to go see her husband now. His kids had no idea what was about to happen to their lives. Jason still had the lump in his throat that was only getting bigger. He had to swallow several times which was a struggle because of his dry throat. 

“How is he?” Gloria rushed her words out and it seemed she seemed more excited than nervous. Jason swallowed heavily before starting.

 “Gloria, there were complications regarding your husband's surgery. Tony’s heart had a lot of damage. We tried to take him off bypass but- there wasn’t anything we could have done.”

Jason’s hands wrung back and forth as he struggled to keep his eyes from watering. He could feel them stinging as he fought back the tears of his betrayal

Gloria’s face scrunched up before slowly falling. Jason could see how her face slowly morphed from one of pure happiness to one of panic and distraught but Jason could also see the hope in her eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Gloria’s voice broke slightly, her lip curling.

“Tony died. He’s dead… Gloria, I am so sorry.” Jason reached out to comfort her, his hand reaching to stroke her back only for Gloria to completely flinch away from his touch. Betrayal illustrated her face and Jason couldn’t bear to continue looking her in the eye.

“Please, go away.” 

Jason had undergone a lot of tough, painful situations to become a doctor and yet, this is what broke him.

Hour 40

Percy was shaving Katie’s head, watching the blond tufts of hair fall off her face. Nico walked in, smirking as he leant against the door. On noticing Nico’s presence, he began to whisper, 

“I promised to give her a cool haircut. Apparently it’s a scandal to be a bald beauty queen.”

“Ah, well, I would totally pull it off..” Nico reached towards his hair and pushed it back slightly. Percy laughed slightly and nodded in agreement before they fell into a comfortable silence- the only sound being the buzzing from the electric razor. Nico watched Percy with admiration in eyes and Percy would look up at him every once in a while with a genuine smile that made his eyes crease.

Will was watching Percy and Nico hanging out in room 3604, an odd feeling of spite towards Percy starting to form. He didn’t know why- Percy had always been a good friend to him, helping him earn the respect of his peers. He watched as Nico watched Percy and suddenly felt the urge to accept Nico’s offer. 

“I do hope that you aren’t staring at Di Angelo,” Leo walking up behind him commented dryly. 

“Lover boy, you can’t really talk. Last time I checked, you seemed to be physically unable to keep your eyes off Calypso,” Will muttered in response. Leo gasped in mock offense before laughing. 

“Awww, are you two sharing ‘we are going to single forever’ moment?” Piper cooed. Will grunted slightly - while Piper defended Will in public she totally teased him when there weren’t as many people and as for her and Leo- well they had known each other since they were teenagers. 

“I’d like to escape the single lot, thank you for the offer though, pipes,” Frank sighed as he joined the group of them. His mood was still down due to losing his patient- he couldn’t help feel overwhelming guilt for not saving a patient with such an easy procedure. 

Percy came out of the room, chatting away with Nico before he spotted the group of attendings who were all staring at them. He raised an eyebrow at all of them, especially since they weren’t trying to be subtle in any way.

“Yall, get back to work.”

The operating room was a tad warm. Or maybe that was Nico sweating due to his nervous nature. He couldn’t afford to screw up here, he had made it so far in only a few hours and had worked hard. Dr Jackson walked in with his trident and sea print scrub cap on his head before he looked around the room.

“All right everybody. Are we ready? Okay, Scalpel,” He held his hand out as he ordered a scalpel into his hand. Nico who was on his tip- toes to see what was going on for he was not sure if he could come any closer- neurosurgeons were scary people sometimes. Percy, who was ecstatic and in a great mood, gestured for Nico to come closer. 

“Nico, come take a look. Your sister would absolutely love this,” Percy gushed and for once, Nico completely agreed as he looked at a live human brain.

Hour 48

It was finally time to head out. Nico was relieved- his eyeliner ,which was perfectly done the morning he came in, needed re-applying and he wanted to put his heeled boots back on. He was sick of everyone being taller than him. He was in the locker room after finishing the surgery and quickly he changed. He felt much better once he was back in his own clothes. Black ripped jeans, fingerless gloves, Ramone t-shirt and his beloved heeled boots.  He stood in the mirror finishing off his eyeliner as Hazel walked in.

“We don’t have to do the thing where I say something and then you do and then somebody cries and then there’s a moment-” she started

“Yuck,” Nico cut in. Hazel smiled ever so slightly but Nico noticed it, causing him to attempt to repress a smile. The key word there being attempt. 

 “Good.”

Nico was looking for Percy- he wanted to thank him for the amazing surgery and for picking him to scrub in. He was about to enter the on call room that he assumed Percy to be in when he accidentally walked into someone. That someone just so happened to be Dr Solace. Except he was shirtless.

Why the fuck was he shirtless? Is there someone in there with him? Oh my god, was I hitting on a straight dude?

“Ah, sorry about that. I was changing when I realised my clean clothes were in my locker,” Will confessed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head. But Nico wasn’t really paying attention to anything that came out his mouth but rather his lips. Wait, why was he shirtless again? Nico had an internal panic for about 2 seconds before he pulled himself together and remembered his objective around Dr Solace.

“If  I’m correct Solace, that surgery went very well,” Nico smirked. 

If your first surgery goes well, then feel free to send that draft out again.

Nice one Nico, you got this.

Will opened his mouth, slightly in shock that Nico had still remembered that by now- sure it was 41 hours ago but most interns just wanted to sleep  by now. But This was a Di Angelo he was talking about- surgery ran in their blood.

“Well congratulations. I caught the draft. What are you going to do about it, Di Aneglo?” Will challenged quite confidently, Nico’s surname rolling off his tongue.  Nico started walking towards him, backing him into the oncall room. The second they were both in there, Nico’s hand reached behind him and locked the door with a flick of his wrist. 

“Copy me,” Nico told Will. He raised one of his arms and then the other, watching as Will copied, slightly confused by the random motion. He then put both his hands together above his head and the second Will copied, Nico pinned Will’s hands above his head with a single hand and smiled wickedly. Will, adequately impressed, leaned his head forward to kiss Nico who obliged.

Explosions. 

That's what Nico felt. He wasn’t expecting Will to be such a good kisser. The kiss was soft at first, their breath dancing across each other's lips but became more heated as Will tried to shift his hands out of Nico’s reach. Nico, being stubborn as he was, refused.  Will bit Nico’s lip gingerly, teasing him as he pulled his lip back slightly between his teeth- the second Nico groaned gently, Will used all the momentum he had to flip them and press Nico against the door, holding one of his wrists in his hand. He reached to grab the other and hold it above Nico’s head as their lips smashed. When Will finally pulled back for air, he started making light butterfly kisses onto Nico’s jawline, making his way down to Nico’s neck. He gently sank his teeth and lightly sucked on the flesh there, making Nico throw his head back and let out a light moan. 

Nico decided that he could thank Percy for the surgery later.

Hazel was waiting for Nico. She was outside the hospital and was watching as all the other interns were leaving and finally he arrived. His clothes were a mess- crumpled, his t- shirt was completely inside out and there was a bruise on his neck.  Hazel had no idea what had happened and honestly, she didn’t want to. Nico waved to her, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.

“Finally! Gosh, we need to go if you want to get there on time!” Hazel fussed.

 Annabeth and Percy were holding hands as they chatted away with Piper and Reyna- their faces all in an animated conversation despite being awake for 48 hours. 

“And then I totally clipped that aneurysm,” Percy boasted, swinging Annabeth's hand up in the air with his. 

Frank was meant to be paying attention to the conversation he was supposed to be having with Leo- who was excitedly talking about the life saving surgery that he did with Calypso as the Peds and OB department had to team up for that case. However, Frank was actually looking at Hazel as he started telling off Nico for the smoking near a hospital. 

“It was a really cool case- the mother was teen in the third trimester which meant Peds had to work with OB. The baby had a tight nuchal cord so the delivery had to be performed by C- section so we could safely clamp and cut off the umbilical cord,” Leo ranted.

Thalia was rustling the blond hair of her younger brother as they got into a car, talking about their days. 

“Who cares, 007 was totally badass!” Thalia told her brother as she started the car. Piper waved goodbye to Percy, Annabeth and Reyna, and leaned against one of stumps while she waited for Will. When Will finally arrived, his hair was an absolute mess and he had a few buttons of his shirt undone which gave view for a bruise blooming on his collarbone. Piper decided not to make much comment of it as they both started walking away. Will turned his head to see Nico one more time, only to see him laughing and kissing the head of a girl with dark skin and beautiful curly hair. Terror and unease immediately set within him. 

Did I just help him cheat on his girlfriend? 

Will decided to push the thought to the back of his mind as he left the hospital.

Nico was stalling. He knew it and so did Hazel. She had pulled up at the nursing home but he was still drumming his fingers on his lap as he sat in the car. After 10 minutes of pure silence, Nico got out of the car, the only sound made being the soft closing of the car door. He walked up the steps before entering the home. It was well lit, elegant and classy- he knew if Bianca was lucid that she’d love it here. He walked towards the window seat, knowing that she always loved to sit there. He took a gentle seat next to her, waiting for her to  notice him  nearby. When she finally acknowledged him, she looked at him and up and down, slightly confused.

“Are you the doctor?”Bianca asked, her eyes wide.

“No, I’m not your doctor but I am a doctor,” Nico attempted a smile but it failed with corners of his lips falling slightly. Biance wrung her hands back and forth, fidgeting with them subconsciously. The nails that used to be flawless were now chipped and bitten at.

 “What's your name?”she turned her head towards him, tilting it slightly as she looked her brother in the eye.

“It’s me, sis. It’s Nico,” He said half heartedly, his voice cracking as his eyes followed hers, trying to somehow get to her lucid mind. He saw her eyes. He saw her how they looked at him, how she didn’t recognise him. Her eyes, they weren’t the same golden brown that gleamed, they were glossy- as if there were clouds covering the clear sky.

“I think I used to be a doctor,” Bianca mused as she continued to rub her hands aggressively. Nico reached out to stop her, hoping she wouldn't flinch or become aggressive. He held her hand in his, enveloping his hand over hers and she accepted the gesture. Just for a second, Nico could see his sister again. 

“You were a doctor. You were a surgeon.”

[crystalgirl259]

The Flame and the Dragon Chapter 27

Chapter 27: The Awakening

Cole woke up groggily, unsure if he had even slept at all. The previous night had been rougher than he thought. He froze when he felt an abrupt shift from the body next to him. The brush of bare skin made him groan until he shifted his position to get a good look at the condition of his sleeping partner. Kai was still unconscious, but his eyes weren't shut as tightly. His breathing wasn't as raspy and heavy as it had been the previous night. A small smile graced his lips in between breathing, but the flush of fever still danced across his face.

Carefully, Cole leaned over and pressed his lips to Kai's forehead while the back of his claws ran down the boy's chest and stomach.

He frowned slightly at the warmth of his forehead but smiled when the frosty touch of the boy's skin had faded back to its core temperature. Cole expelled a breath of relief and fished around for a robe or something to quickly throw on. He refused to embarrass his staff when Neuro or someone else returned to check on Kai's health. He found a large, black robe with two slits in the back sitting on the dresser with a note from Harumi. He donned it, making a mental note to thank the seamstress later, and lied down on the bed pulling Kai's shivering form closer to him.

He didn't have long to wait before Neuro and a satyr named Bolobo arrived.

Without a word, Cole let his precious flame go and let them work.

"His core temperature is back up, but it's too early to relax just yet," Bolobo explained feeling Kai's forehead, his chest, and torso and moving outwards his arms and legs. "My prime concern is that fever." He added as her hard brown eyes fell on the heavy red staining Kai's face when he rolled the boy onto his back.

"Is there anything you can give him?" Cole asked the satyr, crossing his arms tightly, his wings twitched with nervous impatience. Neuro looked from Kai to his basket and bit his lip.

"It's too dangerous to give him something while he's unconscious, but I might be able to make something external to reduce the fever." He replied as he dug through his basket and pulled out a corked bottle of pale pinkish-yellow fluid. He carefully uncorked the bottle, filling the room with a thick, woody odor. He set the basket on the floor, poured a few drops on his palm and fingers. He pulled the blankets down with his free hand flinching when Kai started to shiver again and gently rubbed the oil over Kai's chest in smooth circles.

The teen started to inhale deeply then started to calm down.

Neuro repeated the process once more when Kai's skin absorbed the oil, then wiped his hand on a washcloth and recorked the bottle.

"Any more is too risky," He answered before Cole could ask. "Bolobo and Shade will brew up a tonic for when he wakes up, but for now I think it's best to keep him warm and keep getting his body temperature up, he still has the chill in him."

"How long?" Cole asked with grave eyes. Bolobo and Neuro exchanged soulful glances then sighed.

"I'd give him another day or two, but if the hypothermia isn't out of him by then, then there isn't much else we can do," Bolobo replied. Cole nodded and bowed his head back to his slumbering captive. The two left without another word, leaving the two men alone. Kai's breathing was still a bit heavy and his face still flushed but the chill of hypothermia made itself clear each time he shivered. Worry clouded his eyes. Kai had been fine before so why was he shivering now?

Obviousness smacked him in the head like a blunt object.

Kai had his warmth then, being away from it for so long had caused him to relapse. Cole growled and without a second thought began removing his robe. He slid back under the thick blankets and began piling them over Kai's bare arms and shoulders. His wings wrapped around the teen and he pulled Kai closer. He gently rubbed his back in hopes of soothing him. The paste Neuro had used left a sharp, pungent stench in Cole's nostrils, but the aroma seemed to calm Kai a little.

A deeper sigh left Cole when Kai's shivering started to lessen and finally stop.

He smiled graciously when he felt Kai snuggle deeper into his warmth and felt him smile against his skin. He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Still too warm, but at least his body wasn't as cold. Shifting closer to the body, he gently stroked Kai's cheek taking in the sweet smile and the faint rosy color in his cheeks. His claws tenderly brushed over the soft, warm lips and traced the sloping curves of Kai's cheekbone. He jumped suddenly when he felt Kai burrow deeper into his warmth.

He couldn't help but chuckle.

Kai was the last person he would expect to be a cuddly person, but Cole wasn't one to complain. He gently brushed the spikey brown hair with his claws, smiling as the silk strands wove around his claws. His tail carefully moved under the blankets and coiled over Kai's hip and side like a snake. Anything to draw life back into Kai's body. For the first time in his life, he was grateful for this dragon body. The cursed form he had always hated was now the prime thing keeping Kai alive.

Even now he could feel his body heating up to combat the cold it felt when Kai pressed against it, and he held him tighter to force the warmth back to its source.

Never before did Cole not feel like a monster. Despite his staff's encouragement and Kai all but forcing him to see the truth, a small sliver of doubt kept a leech-like grip on his heart. The reminder that no matter how much Kai cared for him, Cole could never have such a precious gem in his arms as his own. The fact that he was, physically, still a monster was more than enough to shatter the fragile hope he had been building. Never did he consider himself more than what he was.

A man imprisoned in the form of a dragon.

Neither one nor the other but something dismal in between. He never dared to see the beauty of his form. He never thought to experience the gift of flying blessed upon a winged creature. Or realize the effortlessness it took to save another's life or the possibility that his form could do more than hurt, let alone give life. Yet somehow, Kai did. He never looked at Cole with fear or disgust. It was strange, to say the least. Even stranger to daring to hope that the emotions stirring within him were more than simple care.

That maybe, just maybe, the walls be built around himself had faded without his knowledge and that he had begun to do the one thing he knew was impossible, fall in love.

How or why or even when it happened no longer mattered. Cole had found the one person in the world who could understand him. He was sure of that now. However, the danger still remained. Even now, in Cole's arms, Kai was far from safe. Even if his flame woke up, did he admit his feelings? What if these emotions were simply concern or gratification? Would they vanish once Kai regained his health? No, he couldn't take such a risk. Not unless he was positive of himself as well as his heart.

Kai deserved that, at least.

That way, even if Kai didn't feel the same, Cole could die knowing he had found the one thing he desired most. Again, he kissed Kai's forehead and settled back into the comforting embrace of his presence, memorizing as much of the peaceful moment as he could, and believing, for once, that it would last...

****************

Kai hummed as he dreamed of his sanctuary. He found himself lying in a field of sparkling roses, glowing like jewels against the thick, lush, comfy grass. Above him, he could make out the castle. It shimmered against the clear sky as the stained glass windows sparkled like jewels. In the field, he could see Jay chasing Echo across the field with Nelson not too far behind, under the watchful eye of Zane. Ronin and Tox leaned against Bolobo under the shade of a tree.

Shade and Neuro sat on a picnic blanket making daisy chains.

On another blanket, Harumi laid with her head on her wife's lap while Ultra Violet twirled her bangs around her fingers, and Griffin laughed. Kai watched from the hillside, where he lied back against the roses. Except that he wasn't alone this time. Kai wove his fingers with his dream lover's claws, feeling a cool tingle running through them. For a moment they just lied there among the roses, their hands intertwined. Their heads turned and bright amber eyes met brilliant green.

Kai didn't need to see to know who his savior was.

His dream lover. His Dragon Lord. How could he have missed it before? It all made such perfect sense in retrospect. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was what was happening now.

"Come to me, my Flame..." He purred and Kai's eyes widened when his lover began to sing the words of his mother's lullaby in a deep soothing chime. Kai had almost forgotten about it. Even though he had sung the words himself for Lloyd and sometimes Nya when she got too stressed, they sounded so familiar, yet so different. Kai rolled onto his side met his lover's warm eyes with a smile and answered.

"I'm already here, exactly where I want to be." He smiled as he leaned closer so he and his Dragon Lord were only a few inches apart. He hummed when the Dragon Lord began stroking his hair. His eyes fluttered closed, soothed by the tender touch and the crystal chimes in the air. Words filled his mind as the music hummed in his ears.

"Come to me, my Flame..." The dragon repeated. Kai chuckled to himself and leaned a bit closer into his lover's embrace so his head was resting on his folded hands. He heard a low rush of wind then felt cool shade wrap over him.

"I told you, I'm already here." He sighed and his Dragon Lord chuckled, lightly.

"That wasn't what I meant." He spoke in a rich voice with a sultry rasp. Then he began to sing again. Kai could hear him move, and when he opened his eyes, he found his Dragon Lord leaning over him. Kai blinked in surprise and couldn't help but flush at the fact he was sprawled out beneath the Dragon Lord, but his savior just gave him a small smile and whispered.

"Will you be my key, Kai? Will you set me free?" he asked softly. At first, he couldn't answer. The concept sounded foreign but familiar all at once. When he did remember he mentally slapped himself for forgetting. The key to breaking the Dragon Lord's curse. The key to freeing his lover and all the people been nothing but kind to him. Kai smiled at the prince, no doubt or hesitation cloud his voice.

"Yes, Cole, I want to be your key." He promised as he leaned up to meet his lover's lips. Outside his dream world, Kai smiled in his sleep. But his lover didn't kiss him back. Instead, he turned his head, as if startled by a strange noise. Kai blinked and looked at his companion bewildered, even more so when his companion stood up hastily. His eyes focused on something foreign in the distance. Before Kai could ask what was wrong his savior broke into a run.

"Wait! Come back!" Kai called and chased after him, determined not to lose him. The hillside vanished and before he knew it he was chasing the Dragon Lord through a field covered in long grass and speckled in flowers that curled and blackened as they died. He wasn't sure how long they continued to run, but Kai refused to let the distance between them increase. Finally, his Dragon Lord leaped off the hill and vanished behind it. Kai could see his wings and head peeking over the greenery.

The Dragon Lord had stopped in a small clearing, his back still towards Kai, but his wings had fallen limp behind him.

Kai felt a surge of relief when he made it to the hillside and made to call to Cole, but the words were quickly replaced by a scream. At the base of the small hill lied the corpses of all the members of the castle. Red splotched their bodies and their glassy eyes were all frozen open. Thorny rose vines with withered, blackened blooms contorted around their spread arms and bodies. The corpses of roses and vines littered the area like thorny green skeletons speckled with blood shining like scattered rubies against the black ground.

In the center, where the ring of thorns and dead roses died was a circle of scorched earth, vacant of vegetation.

It was as if life knew better than to dare accumulate in that circle. That was where he found his Dragon Lord shaking and collapsed to his knees as if every movement hurt him. His beautiful wings, reduced to tattered strips of bleached leather, his clothes ripped to shreds and blood speckling the visible skin and scales. He turned to Kai with sad, pleading eyes, as if begging him for help. He was either forbidden to speak or didn't have the strength to.

It was then he heard a laugh like ice cracking on a frozen lake.

Kai's blood froze in his veins. He knew that laugh he followed the crackling sound to the man standing in front of his weakened lover.

"Get away from him!" Kai yelled, entering the clearing. There, he saw the same wine and amethyst-colored clothing and soulless eyes of the man who tried to kill him. Rage boiled in his blood as he suddenly recognized who he was. "You're behind all this!" Kai screamed in fury. The man said nothing. He just smiled a curled, mocking smile that set Kai's blood ablaze. His natural protective instincts and anger took over. Sparks crackled to life in his hands forming flames around his fists.

"Ah, so you've discovered your power, too bad it won't do you any good," He mocked the teenager and Kai saw red.

"I said get away from him!" He screamed throwing his hands forward, palms open and bright hot flames burst from his hands, roaring at their victim. But the man didn't flinch. His smile never faltered. Then he threw back his cape and raised a hand, sending a blast of purple fire back at Kai. The flames collided and he blocked the attack with ease. Kai's eyes bulged out of his skull and the man just laughed. When he brought his hand down again the flames and sparks retracted, forming a giant spell that bounced back towards its source.

Kai barely had time to scream before he was thrown backward with such force he skidded against the ground.

He coughed and groaned, aching from the force of his own attack.

"You can't save them!" The man's voice echoed dramatically around from everywhere. Kai shot up and turned to the closest corpse. Echo was lying only a few inches from Jay with their fingers just shy of touching. He got to his feet and crawled over to the boy's body and gently reached to touch it. He retracted his hand when Cole screamed, falling over and clawing at the ground until his wails transformed into a dragon's cry of agony. Lights clustered together above the victims spiraling into single orbs then blazed through the air all spiraling towards a single center.

Above the screaming and writhing Dragon Lord.

His limbs and back contorted. His spine cracked and the scales of his arms, legs, and back began to spread until they covered his entire form. He was no longer a man, but a dragon. Kai rushed to him, but streaming lights stopped him. The Sorcerer crackled like a madman, his laughter increased in volume as all of the lights came together in his hand. Around him Kai could see the ghost of each victim kneeling over their own corpses, weeping bitterly.

Some of them shrieked from despair, others just looked at him with dead, glassy eyes vacant of all emotion.

"I told you, boy, you can't save them," The Sorcerer chided, mockingly. When the lights died away it revealed the object in his hand. A crimson red wax candle with a bright, flickering purple flame. Kai's heart stopped in his chest when he saw it. His eyes fell on the dragon, writing on the ground. He groaned as he moved until their eyes met. The Dragon Lord's eyes were the only thing that was still human. They pleaded for him to run and save himself.

"He'll never be yours, you know." The Sorcerer said as he walked towards him. Kai took a shaky step away from him suddenly overcome by a nameless fear. The Sorcerer's smirk widened as he stepped closer, his intent naked in his eyes. Kai took another step back and stumbled over his own feet and landed on his butt but he continued to back away from the man. The Sorcerer laughed at his efforts and leaned closer so his eyes burned straight into Kai's.

"Even if you give him your mind and body and soul, he can give you his heart, he can give you his body." He smirked as he gestured with his arm to the ring of corpses, his grip on the candle dangerously tight. "But his soul and theirs belong to me!" He roared and suddenly crushed the candle in his hand...

****************

Electric fear shocked his heart and mind to life and Kai shot up panting. Only when he confirmed he was back in his room, and that the contents of his subconscious experience hadn't actually happened did he calm down. He concluded that it was a dream, running a nervous hand through his damp bangs. Or was it a disturbing premonition? He prayed it was the former and not the latter. Just the thought of it coming true sent a shiver of horror through his spine.

However, when he shivered again, he realized it was from cold.

His hands immediately flew to his shoulders and began rubbing his chest, hoping to bring warmth back to his form. He felt nothing between himself and the blankets confirming his suspicions that he was naked. A jolt of alert brought his senses into focus when he felt something wrapped around his torso and a leathery texture pressed against his back and sides. He had never been modest, but the sudden lover-like embrace sent a blush of embarrassment and fear surging through him.

He couldn't remember how he had to be gotten there.

He knew he had been sick, he still felt the weakness in his limbs and his weary body was abnormally pale. Unfortunately, his last clear memory was falling through the ice when he had been skating with the others, the rest were hazy recollections. He heard a light purring next to him, reminding him that he wasn't alone in the bed. Fear of what he might have done compelled him to simply slip away, but the desire to know compelled him to accept his actions.

Slowly, unwillingly, he turned around and looked down and found himself wrapped in the arms and wings of the slumbering Dragon Lord.

Unable to contain himself any longer, a loud, mortified shriek tore itself from his lungs. The sudden scream zapped Cole to life. He tried to take a battle stance but found the bed he was in too small for his massive form and instead he stumbled and collapsed in a mass on the floor. He swore as he got up, forgetting his lack of dress. He yelped and leaped into the air when his upper back and head were attacked. He whirled around and braced himself for a fight only to discover his assailant was a pillow.

Confused, he followed the source and resisted the urge to laugh when he found Kai bunched up, back pressed against the headboard on the other side of the bed.

He clutched the remaining comforter in his fist and held it to his chest like he was trying to merge the cloth with his skin. His free hand clutched braced himself against the mattress, clutching the sheets so tightly they started to rip. His eyes were narrow in embarrassed rage, his jaw twisted to grit and his face was bright scarlet from shame.

"What the hell are you doing here!" He demanded turning redder when the comforter shifted, revealing some of his skin. He used his free hand to cover it up, still blushing glaring. "Why am I naked? Or a better question is why are you naked? And in my room? In my bed!" Kai shrieked, positive he had a permanent blush on his face by now. Cole didn't answer. He had a blank look on his face, like was he momentarily stunned.

"What?" He questioned then looked down at himself. He grimaced at his own stupidity, scooped his robe off the floor, slid his wings through the slits, and clumsily tied it closed as he walked. It did little to cover him. Kai's heart rate doubled in speed watching the near-naked dragon came closer. Questions that needed answers swam in his mind like fish trapped in a net and Cole's silence only increased his panic. Instinctively, he inched away as the Dragon Lord came closer.

Finally, he backed up too far and he fell straight off his bed and landed on his back, only adding to his humiliation.

Cole paused, waiting for him to get up. When he saw this, Kai scampered to his feet as he took the comforter with him and backed away. He cursed when his back hit the wall. He stuttered an order and pointed at his assailant.

"What are you doing?" He demanded but Cole still didn't answer. His face was still vacant of emotion except for shock. He leaned closer and gently grabbed one of Kai's arms and held him steady despite Kai's yelps and stammering protests. "W-W-Wait! Stop!" He cried as he closed his eyes tightly, and struggled in the prince's grip until he felt the gentle touch of lips against his forehead. His eyes flew open and a small blush dusted his cheeks, but for a different reason.

Before he could question the action, Cole removed his lips and replaced them with the back of his hand.

"Your fever's gone." Cole breathed, still in shock. He double-checked, taking into consideration the temperature differences between them. "You're still a bit warm, but it's definitely gone." He added as the realization suddenly brought another concern to light. "You're awake!" Cole exclaimed as he jumped for joy. Kai's eye twitched in frustration.

"Of course, I'm awake! Why wouldn't I be? Now for the last time, Cole what the hell is going on?!" He growled but once again he never got an answer. Cole suddenly grasped his shoulders and pulling him into a tight, loving embrace like Kai would disappear if Cole loosened his grip. Kai was even more confused now. Cole released him and smiled at the confused boy. "What's going on?" Kai asked again, bewilderment all over his face. Cole stared at him like he was insane.

"You... you don't remember?" He frowned, then he pinched the top of his nose. "Of course, Kai, what's the last thing you remember?" He asked but Kai struggled to remember.

"I was skating with the boys and the ice broke, I think I fell in and, then it was all a blur; I remember a shadow, a light, music, and something... a voice calling out to me, but... I don't know if that was real or if I was dreaming... what does this have to do with anything?"

"Kai, you had hypothermia, you've been asleep for three days." Cole sighed with a grave look. Kai was glad Cole was holding him since if he hadn't been Kai was sure he would have collapsed from shock. "You were unconscious and freezing; everyone was worried sick, but thankfully, my body heat managed to get your core temperature back up." He smiled weakly but one look from Kai cut him off.

"Cole, what happened?" He asked. The sharpness in the boy's eyes and the gravity in his voice demanded the truth. Cole frowned but didn't look away. His face was conflicted. As if it was torn between two decisions that both promised a negative end.

"I dove in to save you, but I thought you were trying to leave so I threw you in the dungeon." He admitted in shame and Kai's eyes widened. "But after reading your gift, I realized how stupid I was and freed you but..."

"But what?" Kai asked, but Cole was hesitant.

"Nothing." He muttered, but Kai wasn't stupid.

"Cole, you saw him, didn't you? The man with the red cloak?" He asked, but it was clearly a statement.

"How do- How do you know?" He stuttered in disbelief.

"The night I... ran away, he... well, he made it obvious what he wanted, when I escaped him he sent that beast on me, didn't he? That's why you came to save me, wasn't it? You knew it was him? He did something again, didn't he? With that monster in the lake?" He explained with a frown like he had been keeping a terrible secret and had no choice but to reveal it to prevent devastation. Cole's hands fell limp at his sides and stumbled backward until he was sitting on the mattress.

He opened his mouth to speak but no sound would come out.

The words died in his throat. Kai's expression hadn't changed. Instead, he leaned over and put a hand on Cole's knee so they were face to face.

"Cole, I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth alright?" He said as the gravity in his voice was rivaled only his. Cole nodded. He said nothing but his eyes promised Kai the world. "That night, you and I saved each other, tell me... did I kill that monster with fire magic?"

"Yes, you did," Cole answered, sensing the desperation in his plea. Kai didn't look surprised. Instead, he fell to his knees, his arms at his sides, allowing the comforter to pull around his hips. His hair shadowed his eyes, but Cole caught the smile on his face. Cole knelt down in front of him, his wings braced to comfort him, but Kai just chuckled darkly. "So it did happen, that explains it."

"Explains what?" Cole asked confused, gently tilting Kai's chin so their eyes were even. He gasped in surprise when he saw the tears glistening at the base of Kai's lashes, but his twisted smile hadn't faltered.

"Everything," He retorted but regretted it when he saw the worry on the prince's eyes. Kai pulled away from him and pulled himself back so he was leaning against the wall. Feeling cold returning, he pulled the comforter up and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"It was you, Cole, I'd been dreaming about you." He growled as his hands started shaking and he looked at the floor, unable to look Cole in the eye. "After I arrived here, they started becoming clearer and clearer; now... now, I'm convinced somehow they're real, my dreams, my magic," He muttered as he looked at his shaking hands, remembering how it felt when sparks flew between them. "Now, I'm convinced something terrible will happen, and the worst part is that I don't think I can stop it."

Cole couldn't take anymore and rushed to the teen's side.

He gently ceased Kai's shoulders and pulled him closer. He hadn't failed to notice the tears abandoning his face.

"Kai, shush, don't worry about that, they're just dreams." He soothed, stroking Kai's bangs away from his face and gently running the smooth backs of his claws over his cheek to brush away the tears. Kai shook his head and whipped his eyes with his arms, angry at himself for his lack of control, but the tears of fear and sheer helplessness refused to stop.

"They're not dreams, Cole! I was naïve to think they were!" He shouted. The volume and intensity, caused Cole to fall back from shock. Kai's fist shook in rage next to him and his wild eyes were bright with unrivaled certainty. "I know about the curse, Cole," He whispered, trying to look away, but found he couldn't. "I pretended not to because no one likes to talk about it, but I know, and I know him... that man, sorcerer, whoever he is he's behind it, isn't he? If you don't break the curse by spring he's going to take your soul, right!? Tell me!"

Cole said nothing, but his neutral mask spoke more than a thousand words.

"I know no one can reveal the details of the curse or how to break it, even you, but that doesn't matter, I'll find a way." He promised as he shifted his position so he and Cole were face to face. Tears glittered on Kai's eyelashes, but he was smiling, happily, making Cole more confused. "Cole, I don't regret coming here, or choosing to stay; being here with you, the boys, everyone... I've never been happier than I am when I'm here, everyone here is so wonderful; no one's treated me like an outcast."

He paused for a moment, but no doubt or hesitation clouded his voice when he spoke next.

"Whenever I'm with you, I can't explain it but... I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life." Kai smiled brightly, gently whipping aside a joyful tear. Reading the bewildered and almost blank look on Cole's face the entire time he spoke, Kai didn't know how Cole would react to his declaration. The moment Kai finished his sentence Cole pulled him into his arms and rested his chin on Kai's shoulder. At first, the sudden embrace surprised him, but Kai could feel the warmth and the passion behind it radiating against their bare skin.

"Cole?" Kai questioned, but it was more a statement of happiness than a voice of concern.

"I don't care about that stupid curse," He whispered against Kai's skin. He blinked and gently pulled away, confused. Cole just smiled at him and wrapped his arm around Kai's still covered waist and stroked his cheek. "I mean it, even if I lose my soul; even if I spend the rest of eternity in hell, I don't care! That bastard can do whatever he wants to me, it won't change anything, and do you know why?" He asked, but Kai didn't and Cole smiled again.

"Because I'll always be able to take this with me." He declared and Kai's widened at what the man was implying and a slight pink color rose in his cheeks. Cole chuckled and hugged him tighter. "You've made me happier too, Kai, happier than I'd ever thought possible, I'd given up hope that I'd ever been happy again." He said as he pulled away to look Kai in the eye and pressed their foreheads together. "I'm not going to lose that or throw it away for anything so I promise you, no matter what gets thrown in my way or who stands in front of me, I promise I'll protect you with every fiber of my being, nothing is going to take you away from me, my flame."

Kai didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Tears burst from his eyes and laughter exploded from his mouth.

He threw his arms around Cole's neck and hugged him with such force he was taken off guard and his scaled spine and wings crashed against the bed frame. They both laughed at the action, but when their eyes opened and locked once more, they wasted no time and closed the distance between them. Lips molded perfectly over the other, Kai's arms wrapped tightly around Cole's neck and shoulders. Cole's wrapped around Kai's waist pressing the blanket still wrapped around Kai's hips and torso, closer to his flesh.

One hand stroked up Kai's upper back as his tail twitched at his side.

The kiss slowly turned deeper. His body moving on its own, Cole kept one arm around Kai's waist and the other clutched the bed and hoisted himself up. His arm repositioned Kai so he was holding him bridal style with one arm. Kai's arms tightened their hold on Cole, not wanting to break away just yet. They finally paused to breathe when they fell back against the mattress. Cole took notice at how lovely Kai looked sprawled out beneath him on the bed.

Face flush, one arm level with his head the other at his side, eyes half-lidded with passion, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath.

Seeing that the dragon hybrid above him wasn't moving, Kai leaned forward and kissed Cole passionately. He pulled him closer against him, urging him to move, and Cole obeyed. His body was now flush against Kai's as their arms wrapped around the other. The loose knot of his robe had come undone long ago. The comforter, the only thing separating them, slipped further down Kai's waist until it finally settled just above his hips.

"Rise and Shine you too! Shade made tea!" Neuro suddenly shouted as he burst through the door, balancing a tray with a large steaming teapot and several teacups in one hand and used the other to pry Echo, Nelson, and Jay off his waist. Harumi suddenly shoved the articles she had been holding into Ronin's arms and tried to help pry the servants off Neuro. The sudden commotion brought the two men back to reality. Their eyes flew to the spectacle, which froze the instant it turned its attention to the two on the bed.

All of their eyes flew open at the sight of their Master, robe opened and sprawled on top of their guest, who was in nothing but a bedsheet.

Amber and emerald eyes widened in horror. The servants just stared, too shocked to do anything else. Suddenly, the entire East Wing erupted in eight different, horrifying screams. No one noticed the red eyes peeking through the crack in the curtains...

[snelbz]

“You should have ruined me when you had the chance.” {Nessian Angst/Smut, Tag Team}

A/N: You all knew we’d be hitting you with the smut soon enough. And you knew exactly who it’d be. Tag team with the always amazing @tacmc​. It feels good to be back. :)

Warning: Rated M.

Cassian hit the bag in front of him with so much force that it ripped the anchor from the ceiling and the bag went flying. He watched as it slid to a stop across the gleaming, marble floors but he never dropped his stance. Almost like he was waiting for the bag to get up. Almost like it might fight back.

Cass, he heard the voice in his mind. We’re just about ready on our end. How soon can you be here?

The issue with having a daemati for a High Lord - and even worse, a best friend - meant that when Rhys was in his head, even if he tried, he could always tell when Cassian wasn’t being completely truthful. So often, rather than answering, Cassian let down his mind’s shields and fully allowed Rhys to see his surroundings. He felt that watchful gaze in his mind’s eye zero in on the downed bag across the room. There was a question in his mind, but whatever it was Rhys let it go before Cassian could fully hear it.

Ah, the midnight voice chuckled, so a bath before anything else, that much is clear. Meet us at the townhouse at noon?

He nodded once, an answer that Rhysand clearly accepted, since an instant later, Cassian knew he was well and truly alone in the training room high above Velaris once again.

With a heavy sigh, Cassian thudded across the room and picked up the bag with one, taped up hand. He thought about hanging it back up, but tossed it in the corner instead. He’d do it tomorrow. Today he could care less. 

He found a thin rag draped over the back of the chair in the corner and wiped the sweat from his forehead, then the back of his neck. He tossed it in the corner, along with the punching bag, and left.

The halls were quiet. Everyone had made note, with the exception of his intrusive High Lord, to give Cassian space. He had a temper, he knew as much, and no one quite got under his skin like she did. 

Just the thought of her made him want to turn around and head back to the training room, and rip the punching bag he’d tossed in the corner to shreds.

Instead, he continued on until he found himself standing on the balcony of the House of Wind and closing his eyes in the bright morning sun. 

He didn’t know what time it was, didn’t know how close to noon he was creeping. 

As he spread his wings in a long, smooth stretch, Cassian debated just how crucial that bath before their departure was.

It was then that he smelled himself and decided a bath was non-negotiable.

A full Court trip was something that was very, very carefully planned. Azriel was wound tighter than Cassian had ever seen him, the more so since Elain announced her early pregnancy 4 months ago. Now, as she was nearing the end tox her second trimester, he was a wreck. He hated to be away from her for any longer than necessary, so making sure that Adriata was safe and that the Summer Court wasn’t waiting to ambush was draining on him.

But finally, the long-awaited day has arrived. Amren had agreed to stay and keep the city safe, as long as Varian agreed to come help.

Feyre would be going, of course, as High Lady and as a female that hated to be kept in Velaris when something important was going on elsewhere, more so since she became a mother herself. Feyre not only wanted to protect her people, her family, but now her son. Their toddler would stay with Elain, whom Rhysand deemed the only person in all of Prythian that he trusted to watch his young heir.

And then the face of the last person joining their trip popped into Cassian's mind as he turned on the hot water and removed his pants.

Piercing blue-gray eyes, narrowed in annoyance, haunted him as he settled into the large porcelain tub. He tilted his head back against the lip of the tub, stretching his wings out wide. The heat of the water soothed the aches that were settling into the cartilage and membranes of his wings and he carefully took one in his hand and looked at it. He held it up to the open window, seeing what Feyre always described as she watched them fly.

Reddish-gold shone through, darker at the joints, thinner, so, so thin, where it was stretched tight.

His wings, however…

His wings were marred. There were other jagged scars every few inches. A brand to show just how close he’d come to losing his wings, to losing his life.

To losing her.

He thought about it often, the war with Hybern, everything that had led up to that point.

Not much had changed in the years that passed, not even after they had returned from the Illyrian camps. Not when it came to where he stood with Nesta Archeron, anyway. Time and time again he would think that he broke through to her, that she would let him in.

But he was always disappointed.

He went back to examining the painful beauty of his wings. He had lived for hundreds of years, and all he had to show for it were those damned scars.

Cassian untied his hair and sunk beneath the warm water. He stayed there for a moment, holding his breath. His eyes opened to see the clouded ceiling of the washroom as he pulled himself back up, just as a soft knock came on the washroom door.

Cassian’s shoulders tensed.

He’d know her scent anywhere. 

“I’m bathing,” Cassian mumbled. “Rhysand’s request.”

The door pushed open anyway and Nesta stood on the threshold. “Still pissed?”

Cassian draped an arm over the side of the tub and was slightly disappointed when Nesta’s eyes remained locked with his own. 

“Didn’t expect to see you until we leave,” was all Cassian replied.

Nesta slipped into the room and shut the door behind her with a soft click. Cassian tried to seem relaxed, tried to sink a little lower into the water, but every part of him tensed up as she closed the two of them in together.

They’d enjoyed each other’s bodies in the Illyrian Mountains. It became almost a type of reward for Nesta after she’d finish a hard day of training. It would always begin as a massage to soothe her aching muscles and end with an orgasm.

She never stayed in his bed once.

She never slept in his arms once.

She never gave him more than a single glance over her shoulder.

But her insults lessened. The attacks on his person and moral character eventually weren’t as barbed, as sharp. They were meant to poke at him, not to stab.

She began to seem as if she even enjoyed his presence.

Yet she still wouldn’t accept the bond.

“Come to join me?” Cassian asked, unable to stop the subtle bite in his voice. 

“No,” Nesta said between gritted teeth. “I came to…”

Cassian waited, but Nesta refused to meet his gaze as her words trailed off. 

Eventually, Cassian lifted a brow. “Yes?”

Her lips snapped shut and those cruel eyes narrowed. “Nevermind.”

She turned to leave, but stopped herself, the hand that was outstretched toward the doorknob falling back to her side. “I went to the training room. Saw it was a wreck. Thought I’d come see how you were doing. If you were...okay.”

Her tone was vicious, but her words seemed genuine enough. 

Cassian sat up a little straighter, although he had learned long ago not to get his hopes up. Even her nicer moments seemed to be done out of some sort of annoyance. 

“I’m fine,” Cassian replied, propping his cheek in the palm of his hand. “See you at noon. Don’t be late.”

Nesta glanced over her shoulder. Cassian couldn’t help his grin as he saw just how much he was getting under her skin. “Must you always be such a prick?”

Cassian had a lot of retorts he could have followed such a question with, but he simply tilted his head to the left and remained silent.

When it was clear that he wasn’t going to answer her question, rhetorical or no, she rolled her eyes and left the room.

As the door opened and closed, a chill slipped in and Cassian let himself go under the water again to keep from cooling down. He stayed under until he could hear himself think again over the pull of the female walking down the stairs. He stayed under until his lungs hurt. He stayed under until she was far enough away that she wouldn’t hear his scream of frustration from under the water.

He wanted her to leave.

He wanted her to come back.

He didn’t know if it was worse to live with her or without her. Both seemed to infuriate him.

I went to the training room. Saw it was a wreck.

Temper.

He had such a temper.

A temper he couldn’t, didn’t want to, control. 

Cassian came back above the water and looked outside. Noon was approaching quickly, but he didn’t want to move even though he knew he had to.

He had to fly Nesta across the border and spend the next three days alongside her, trying to contain that damn creeping anger as he did so.

With a low, frustrated growl, Cassian pulled himself out of the tub, water sloshing onto the floor as he did so. He grabbed a towel and started drying off his hair as he opened the door to the balcony to find Nesta meeting Mor by the edge of the lower balcony, outside the dining room.

Neither female noticed him as Mor winnowed them both away.

————————

Her arms were a vice around his neck.

She flew with him a hundred times yet she never truly conquered her fear of flying.

Or rather, her fear of falling.

It didn’t matter how many times he told her he’d keep her safe. It didn’t matter that she trusted him explicitly. She had never well and truly let herself enjoy the sky.

As they crossed the border into the Summer Court, the magic of the barrier zapped against his skin. He could feel it crawling under his armor, beneath his leathers even. It was taking inventory of his weapons, of his strength.

Nesta growled, and Cassian gave her a curious glance.

All at once, the magic left them, though Cassian knew they barrier line extended another 10 feet or so.

“How did you-?”

“It was looking for the key to my power,” she interrupted him, voice low, but so close to him, he could hear her over the wind. “So I told it there wasn’t one.”

Cassian shook his head and chuckled.

Cauldron born and Cauldron made, indeed.

“When can you put me down?” She hissed.

Cassian's hands tightened. “When we get to the palace.”

“I hate it here,” Nesta said, and she thought she hadn’t said it aloud, but Cassian’s arms tightened around her once more. 

She allowed herself to feel comforted, if only for a second. Then, her nails once again dug into his skin. 

Tensions were high with the Summer Court, and Cassian knew that Nesta secretly liked the intense excitement. She may not like being involved with court politics, but she sure enjoyed watching the drama.

“Alright, Emissary,” Cassian mumbled into her ear. 

Before Nesta could fully prepare herself for the landing, Cassian's boots landed on the brick with a thud. He didn’t free Nesta from his grip until he straightened from his crouch. 

A large group of court members were waiting for them at the palace’s entrance.

Rhysand stepped in front of them all, Feyre at his side.

“Tarquin isn’t here to welcome us?” He crooned. “Shame.”

A young male, wearing armor similar to Cassian’s but in turquoise and gold, stepped forward.

“He had to leave court on emergency business,” he said, steadily, although refusing to make eye contact with the High Lord and Lady of Night. “He will be back tomorrow, he sends his apologies. He hopes that you will spend your evening relaxing and enjoying the summer court and he looks forward to meeting with you all tomorrow afternoon.”

Rhysand inclined his head to thank the young male for passing on the message.

The young male held out his hand. “You will be shown to your rooms. Dinner will be served at nightfall.”

Nesta followed Cassian, Azriel, Mor, Feyre, and Rhysand through the palace. Varian was at the head of the group, talking quietly among those of Tarquin's court.

Cassian sped up until his pace matched Rhysand’s. He had one hand in his pocket, the other protectively on Feyre’s back. “I thought Varian was meeting Amren in Velaris?”

“He’ll be leaving in the morning,” Rhys replied, his violet eyes sliding to Cassian, annoyance obvious. “And thanks to the delay, Varian will be staying with us for an additional week. I just don’t know if Tarquin is aware.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Varian called over his shoulder. “Amren has made him very much aware.”

Rhys smirked as Cassian nodded and fell back into step beside Nesta.

Cassian has grown to like Varian over time. He was glad to have him as their connection between their two courts. It took a little bit of the tension away.

Just a little bit.

The group was shown to a suite on the far side of the palace. A sitting room sat in the middle of three bedrooms, in which Feyre and Rhysand automatically claimed the one on the right, shutting themselves inside. 

Mor rolled her eyes. “Great, we get to listen to those two until dinner.”

Azriel chuckled as Rhysand sent a vulgar gesture into all of their minds. 

As Nesta headed toward the room on the left, Mor looped her arm through Azriel's. “Come. Let’s explore.”

Before Cassian could comment, they had vanished, leaving him to watch Nesta disappear around the corner and listen to Rhysand’s teasing growls on the other side of the door behind him.

Cassian entered the third bedroom, expecting that to be a shared room for he and Azriel. But instead, he found three glittering gowns hanging from the armoire and a scarlet duffel. With a growl and a roll of his eyes, Cassian made his way back out to the living room and draped himself across the couch.

A few moments later, Nesta re-emerged from the bedroom, her braids let out, her hair loose around her shoulders. The stuffy dress she typically wore was gone and she wore a pair of loose-fitting trousers and-.

“Is that my tunic?” Cassian asked, eyebrow raised, arms crossed behind his head.

Nesta's lips tightened. “You left it in my room one night. I wear it when I need to move my arms.”

Cassian blinked. “You’re choosing to train right now?”

Nesta scoffed. “There’s nothing else to do right now. I left the novel I was reading in Velaris and dinner isn’t for hours.”

Cassian leaned up on his elbows. “Want company?”

Nesta stared him down for a moment. “Fine. Stand up.”

Cassian looked around the sitting room. It was large enough, sure, but he was known to cause damage in the Summer Court.

Tarquin already wasn’t his biggest fan.

Cassian didn’t move. “What? In here?”

Nesta looked at him like he was dense, which in her defense, he could be. “I don’t exactly know where else we can go.”

Cassian smirked. “Oh, sweetheart. Have I got something to show you.”

Twenty minutes later, dressed in strikingly similar attire, Cassian led Nesta into the underground barracks of the Summer Court militia. Nesta couldn’t keep the awe off of her face as she gazed up at the glistening cave walls.

The domed room was formed straight into the ore-rich rock. Deposits of gems and jewels could still be seen peeking through in places. There was every type of training tool imaginable, weapons, weights, training rings, even a small track. In the far corner was a small pool, steam rising as it was naturally heated from underground.

“Are we supposed to be in here?” Nesta asked, glancing around timidly, though they were clearly by themselves. Though they were feet underground, balls of Fae light illuminated the entirety of the room. No corner was obscured.

Cassian threw a cocky glance over his shoulder towards her. “You don’t become Commander of the entire Illyrian Legion without making a few friends.” He turned back and headed for the sparring ring.

It took Nesta a minute to stop gawking before she followed him in. Naturally, he stripped off his tunic as Nesta faced him in the ring.

She rolled her eyes. “Must you always train shirtless?”

Cassian grinned. “It’s cute how you act like you don’t like it.” Her jaw tensed as he motioned her forward. “Hit me, sweetheart.”

She took a moment to tie her hair in a loose knot atop her head. As she stepped into the ring, she was rolling the sleeves of the tunic up, being careful to ensure they were even on both sides, but even so-.

Nesta launched herself at Cassian while he was watching her adjust the sleeves of his shirt. She’d lured him into the trap and he’d fallen for it with far too much ease. His guard was always down around her.

At the same time her open palm slammed against his right shoulder, she twisted and connected her fist with his cheek. He grunted but quickly righted himself, growling at the deceptive move. One muscular arm tried to wrap around her waist, but she was quicker than him and was able to snake out of his grasp, but not before he swept her legs from under her. She was on her back and gazing up at his smirking face before she knew what had happened.

“That wasn’t fair,” he crooned, hair beginning to slip from the bun at the back of his head. “Cheap shots aren’t allowed. You know that.”

“We aren’t in the mountains anymore,” she snarled, taking the outstretched hand he offered her. He effortlessly pulled her to her feet. “The rules no longer apply.”

She could see the mask slowly slipping into place as it always did when they trained. It was only a matter of minutes before the Commander made his presence known.

“There are always rules,” he replied, calmly, turning to get back into stance. “You just have a blatant disregard for them. Back to the edge. Square up again.”

It took everything in Nesta not to throw herself onto his muscular back and pummel the back of his head.

Instead, she did as she was told, and bided her time until the Commander made his appearance. She smirked as she got in cheap shot after cheap shot, a knee to the groin, a punch to the kidney, when her hand slipped off of his arm and she “accidentally” hit him in the throat.

She watched as he leaned over, hands resting on his knees, trying to catch his breath, arms crossed over her heaving chest.

“I didn’t realize it was this easy to take down the leader of the Night Courts forces,” she drawled, her head tilted to the side as she caught her own breath. “Maybe I should talk to Rhys about changing my title. You’re getting a little old anyway.” She smirked as his head snapped up and he looked at her with hazel eyes that were filled with flame. “Might be time to retire, old man.”

Cassian stood to his full height, breathing even, rage written all over his features. “Get back in the ring.” His voice was like stone.  He turned and grabbed a pitcher of water from a nearby table, only pausing to drink for a short moment before pouring the entire thing over his head, drenching his body.

As he made his way back into the ring, rivulets of sweat and water both trailing between his muscles, Nesta’s mouth dried up and she smiled.

“Hello, Commander,” she cooed.

Cassian showed no indication that the tone of her voice sent his heart ablaze. 

He stopped a few feet in front of her and got into ft the stance of someone who was about to be attacked.

As he had been.

Countless times at this point, to Nesta’s satisfaction.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he beckoned, voice low, words clipped.

Nesta gave a show of lifting them hem of his tunic to wipe the sweat off her brow, her neck. When she let it drop, she watched how his eyes were resting on her abdomen, where her pale skin had been showing.

But his jaw was locked, his teeth clenched. He wouldn’t fall for it again. He’d had enough.

When his eyes reconnected with her own, Nesta charged.

He blocked every shot she took, anticipating every blow, deflecting every kick. Time after time, she ended up on the mat.

She grunted as he landed on her side, arm outstretched above her head. She laid there, forehead pressed against the cool material. Her breathing was erratic and her arms were heavy when she tried to push herself up. She stopped and laid still, trying to calm her breathing, to slow her heart.

“Had enough?” Cassian asked, and she turned to look back at him, hitching her knee as she did. She found him staring at her ass, the pants stretching with the motion and sitting lower on her hips. His eyes flicked to her own, unashamed that she’d caught him staring.

Nesta got to her feet. “Not hardly.”

Before she had a chance to get into stance, he took a page from her own book and charged her. She only had time to turn before his arms were restraining her and she began to writhe against him.

It was then she noticed he was rock solid against her lower back.

She fought back a whimper from the feel of him and ground herself back against him, letting his covered length skim the top of her ass.

He growled and tightened his arms. His lips were right next to her ear when he breathed, “Don’t. We’re training. You haven’t earned that yet.”

She shivered, despite her mind telling her body to get it together, and was able to loosen one arm. Why Cassian didn’t immediately restrain her, she didn’t know, but she let that arm fall behind them. Her fingers delicately cupped the back of his neck, sliding upward through his sweat-drenched hair, and pulling the leather tie out. His hair fell loose and she gently pulled her fingers out of the tangled length and let her arm fall in front of her.

“Nes,” he breathed, voice a gravelly whisper.

He couldn’t say anything else because she brought her elbow up and slammed it back into his face

He immediately dropped his hold on her, stumbling back and clutching his face. When she whirled to face him, expecting him to be angry and ready to fight, she was surprised to find his eyes tired and blood trickling down his lips.

He walked toward the edge of the ring and leaned down, grabbing his tunic before walking towards the main entrance.

“Where are you going?” Nesta called, dropping her stance and chasing after him, her fingers wrapping around his wrist. “We aren’t done yet. That was a clean hit.”

Cassian stopped but didn’t move another inch, he didn’t turn back to look at her like she longed for him to. “You broke our first rule.”

Nesta froze, her grip on his wrist slackening.

She thought back to a night in the cabin, years and years ago, not long after they’d arrived in Illyria. Cassian had sat her down. After she’d continued to be a miserable terror to the camp, he’d laid out a list of rules, starting at number two and working his way through. At the end, he asked if she had any questions and she spit out that he was a far more stupid brute than she thought if he hadn’t even noticed he’d skipped the very first rule.

He told her that his attraction to her and subsequent distraction was one thing, since it was a viable tactic to use in hand to hand combat that could save her life one day. She was allowed to use his lust against him. His love, however…

She was never allowed to use the bond, to use his feelings for her, against him. In training, in arguments, in any way. Not until she accepted the bond and accepted that she was a part of him, and he of her.

To this day, she refused to acknowledge the bond existed, to admit that the pull she felt towards him was damn near constant at this point.

The intimacy she’d allowed, when she’d caressed him and ran his fingers through his hair, that was more than she’d ever allowed him.

She’d handed him a gift he’d longed for so long then punished him when he’d taken it.

His eyes were cold, sad when she looked up into his face. His hair was loose around his face and he looked younger than she’d ever seen him. 

He looked broken.

“Cassian, I-.”

“You should have ruined me when you had the chance,” he breathed.

He turned to leave, she watched his inked back, the wings that drooped behind him.

“Do not walk out on me!” she yelled, panic beginning to settle in. “Do not fucking walk out on me!”

Cassian froze, but there was no life in his heavy shoulders. He didn’t even bother to look back at her as he asked, “Why not?”

Nesta was speechless. Why not? 

“Just…”

She had nothing.

Cassian’s shoulders finally tensed, that brewing anger returning as he slowly turned to meet her gaze.

The blood trickling from his nose was beginning to dry. “Why the fuck not, Nesta?” 

His voice echoed in the cave, and Nesta couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She had spent so long fighting, so long neglecting the male she couldn’t live without.

“Because if I walked out, you couldn’t use me anymore? Huh?” His eyes were manic as he slowly walked toward her. He stopped a few feet away, his tunic tossed casually over his shoulder. “I couldn’t be your fucking plaything anymore? You know what we are, Nesta. I know you do. And you know what? Fuck you! I’ve waited for years! And I’m tired of waiting. If you don’t want me, fine. I accept that. But don’t keep stringing me along. Don’t keep getting my hopes up for something that will never happen.”

Nesta shook her head. The bond, it terrified her. “I can’t, Cass,” she said, her voice breaking on his name. It was small, like that of a scared child. “I can’t give myself like that to someone. I can’t give up my control. I can’t be forced to rely on someone but myself.”

Cassian took two careful steps forward, gently cradling her face in his hands. “You aren’t giving yourself to me, you’re sharing yourself with me.” His voice was steady, but it wasn’t cold, like earlier. No, it was warm, calming. It was a voice full of love. “You aren’t giving up your control,” he breathed, stroking her cheek with a calloused thumb. “And you will always have a choice, but if you need me, I’m here. Nesta, the bond...it’s not a prison sentence like you seem to think.” Her eyes were shut tight, trying to block out his words, block out the topic they so rarely talked about.

Cassian let his hands drop to his sides, but he didn’t walk away. “All I want is to be allowed to love you.” Nesta felt the tears break free from beneath her closed lids. “I want to live this life alongside you, for however long I can.”

When she opened her eyes, he was watching her, intently. Rough fingers reached up to brush her tears away. 

“I will never hurt you,” he promised, then his voice became lighter as he said, “Although, if I did, you can obviously kick my ass.”

Nesta, despite herself, chuckled. She shook her head. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Impossible,” he whispered as he brushed the fallen strands of golden-brown hair out of her face. “I know you, Nes. And there is not one thing about you that could ever disappoint me.”

Her eyes fluttered shut once more, and that familiar feeling of his palm against her cheek returned. “You’re not perfect. Nor am I, as we all know. It’s going to be difficult, but I want to do this. With you. Only you.”

Before she could think up a response, his lips gently pressed against her own.

It was like in that moment a switch had been flipped. Her world tumbled upside down in the instant his lips were on hers. Because in all of the times they’d been together, she’d never once allowed him to kiss her. She’d never once let him put his lips anywhere on her body.

Because they’d not kissed since that last battle against Hybern, when they thought it was the last thing they would ever do.

His lips were her undoing.

When her eyes opened, she found his, soft and steady, watching, waiting for her reaction.

Her slender fingers reached up to the tunic sitting on his shoulder and gripped the fabric. She tossed it aside before bringing her forehead against his, her palms resting on both sides of his stubbled cheeks.

She said no more, and he didn’t say another word, either.

She kissed him, slowly, melting in his presence. She had forgotten the taste of his lips, had forgotten what the brush of his tongue felt like inside of her mouth.

A soft whimper broke away from her inner barrier and Nesta Archeron, despite the years she had built up such a shield, at last let go and freed herself before him.

Cassian growled as her fingers twisted into his hair, as he lifted her up so that her body pressed against his own, as his hands held onto her so tightly that it would be impossible to break free.

But Nesta didn’t want to be free of him.

She was right where she belonged.

She pulled her lips from his, with immense effort on both sides, and breathed, “Bed?”

He couldn’t bear to keep his lips off of her skin now that he’d finally been able to taste it once again, so as soon as she’d ended the kiss, his lips had trailed down her throat. He bit the tender spot where her shoulder met her neck before growling, “Too far. I need to be inside you now.” He froze, though, and breathed. “If that’s what you’re wanting. If you’re truly willing and ready to accept the bond.”

She could feel him there, on the other side of that bridge, but while he used to be a mile away, now he was just a couple hundred feet. She knew that once she accepted the bond, once she accepted him, the bridge would become a door. A door that she could open to him completely and let him know every inch of who she was, of who she’d been.

All at once, she was terrified again. She’d been terrible to Feyre and nearly everyone else she knew in her mortal life. Rhys has just recently forgiven her after years and years of begging from Feyre.

“Cassian, I’m not-.” A sob tore from her and she was powerless to stop it.

His voice was gentle when he cupped her cheek and asked, “You’re not what, sweetheart?”

She hesitated. How could you put so many emotions into mere words? She didn’t deserve such happiness after all she had done.

Cassian lifted her chin so that she met his stare. “I know what you’re thinking. Okay? Don’t talk yourself out of this. Not again. If you want this, if you want me, fucking take it.”

She couldn’t stop the tears, couldn’t sort out her thoughts. But she did want this, did want him. Was it truly so simple?

She took control of her life and decided it was.

Her arms tightened around his neck and her lips crashed against his. His hands, which had been content just to hold, were now grabbing and squeezing, feeling her wherever he could. His hand dipped below the waistband of her pants, which had dropped low on her hips. He gripped the swell of her ass and groaned as he ground her against him.

He needed her. Here, now.

His teeth grazed her neck, just beneath her jaw. Nesta's eyes fluttered shut as she clung to him, her heart beating wildly from within her chest. 

Cassian pressed her back up against the cave’s wall, his body holding her up as he took the tunic of his that she wore and pulled it over her head. 

He caught her gaze, so hungry and needy, before his lips found hers once more.

“Wait,” Nesta breathed, pushing lightly against his chest. “I need to feed you.”

Cassian chuckled and asked, “What?”

“Feyre told me about the soup,” she explained, referencing the meal Feyre had given to Rhys to show she accepted their bond, accepted him. “That to accept the bond, I have to give you food.”

He tossed his head back and laughed, pressing kisses to her exposed chest as the echoes of his laughter subsided. “There are dozens of ways to accept the bond. Offering food is just one of the more traditional routes.”

Nesta nodded, blushing at her own lack of understanding so many years after bring made fae herself, chewing on her top lip. “Is there an...Illyrian method you prefer?” She traced the lines of his tattoos, following one that wrapped around his nipple and then made a direct path down the center of his abdomen.

Cassian shuddered and pressed his forehead against hers. “There are vows - sacred vows - that when uttered, bind the mind, body, and soul together. Two become one. It’s almost like a...traditional, mortal marriage ceremony. But there’s no need for witnesses or priestesses. It doesn’t have to be done in the presence of your family or before the sun has reached its highest point in the sky. It just requires two beings willing to devote themselves to each other.” His hazel eyes were full of love and humor when he gazed up at her. “And a short joining ceremony afterward.”

“Joining ceremony?” She asked, breathlessly, as her finger hooked into the band of his trousers. 

Cassian nodded, becoming all too aware of where her fingers were traveling. 

“Hmmm,” she contemplated, fiddling with the button of his pants free with one hand, the other grasping a handful of his thick, black hair.

Cassian leaned forward, his mouth brushing along her earlobe as he whispered, “Tease.”

“I want the others to be there,” Nesta said, pulling back for only a moment. “When we do our vows. I...think my sisters would want to be a part of it.”

Cassian's grip on her loosened, if only a little bit. “Okay.”

She nodded, head falling back against the wall of the cave. “Good.”

“Good,” he agreed, voice rough, quiet.

“Cass?”

“Yes,” he growled, hands sliding up her sides, cupping her breasts.

“I am yours,” she said. “Take me. Please.”

“Fuck,” was all he said before he had her pressed between himself and the wall once more, body to body. His hand possessively dragged down her body, beginning with her throat, between her breasts and to the waistband of her pants. “I want to look at you, I want to see you. I want to know what you look like when you’re coming for me and not for you.” He kissed her hard. “I want to see what you look like when I fuck you.”

Nesta whimpered, her thoughts vanishing as his tongue slid between her lips. She used the heels of her boots to push down his trousers, down past his thighs, down to his knees. Her eyes fluttered shut as the hardened length of him sprung out beneath her. 

Her shaky hands traveled down his back, down to his firm ass. 

“Take me to the pool,” she pleaded.

He obliged her, taking her over to the shallow bath. He placed her on her feet and stepped back allowing his pants to fall to the ground. He stepped down into hot water, his muscles relaxing almost immediately. He sat down and leaned back, gazing up at her. She stood wearing only her pants and boots, the tunic she’d stolen from him long ago tossed on the small table by the wall.

She toed her boots off and shyly hook her thumbs into the waistband of her trousers. She hesitated, and she didn’t know why. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

It wasn’t like he’d never seen her bare. It wasn’t like he’d never been inside her. He’d fucked her hundreds of times in the mountains, but that was never out of love for each other. That was because she needed to get off and he was willing to be her living sex toy.

But this.

This total baring of her mind, body, and soul, this was something different entirely.

“Nes.”

Her eyes opened and she gazed at him, standing in the pool, hand outstretched.

“Come on, sweetheart.”

Evening her breathing, Nesta slipped off her trousers and took his hand. He watched her body moving towards him, every second passing used to his advantage to take her in.

She met him at the bottom of the stairs, and he wrapped his arms around her. His eyes were soft, bright, and they only made Nesta blush.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she whispered.

“No,” he grinned, kissing her softly.

That soft kiss quickly turned hungrier, his hands wandering to her ass to lift her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he sat down, once more. She straddled his waist, her fingers softly grazing the insides of his wings, just above where they met his skin.

His head fell back, a soft moan from his lips filling the silence.

Nesta carefully repeated the motion, feeling Cassian’s entire body shuddering beneath her. “I’ve always wondered what they felt like,” she whispered. She carefully traced a long, thick scar. Cassian could feel the difference in the torn flesh. He braced himself for the pity he always received when his wings were closely examined.

“They’re so beautiful.”

His eyes snapped open and he looked up at her. She was gazing at his wings, though, not at his body or even his face.

But at his shredded, disgraceful wings.

“They tell a story,” she said, her voice quiet, full of admiration. “Of how you overcame. Of how you survived.”

Her eyes went misty for a moment, as if she was remembering. Nesta raised herself up on her knees and brushed her lips along the edge of his scars. Cassian's breath hitched, his body falling slack as Nesta leaned back down and pressed her mouth to his forehead, and his nose, and his mouth. She reached below the water's surface and gently used her fingers to stroke his length.

“You…,” he began, a whisper through gritted teeth, “are going to be the death of me.”

Nesta laughed, a soft, true, melodious sound.

Cassian's eyes opened, bright and wild, as his hands found her hips and positioned her over him.

“We’re going to take our vows in front of your sisters and my brothers as soon as we can arrange it, but for now,” he said, leaning up and kissing her. “I need to hear you say it, please, sweetheart.”

“Say what?” She breathed, eyes fluttering shut as he rubbed himself against her entrance. She longed to lower her hips, to feel his thick length inside of her in a whole new way.

“Who are you, Nesta?” He asked, leaning up and biting down on her earlobe.

“Mate,” she moaned, the sound echoing off of the rocks and repeating it. “Mate. You’re my mate.”

Cassian gripped Nesta’s hips and slammed her onto him, impaling her on his hard cock.

She cried out, her voice rippling throughout the silence of the cave. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she sunk down, pushing him into her as far as he’d go. Cassian's mouth trailed along her collarbone, and down to her breasts, his tongue circling her nipple as her hips moved slowly against his.

She held onto the back of his head, afraid that if she let go his mouth would leave her skin.

The water sloshed slightly, lapping against the raised edges of the pool. Whispered curses left his mouth as he leaned back and she increased her pace, as he watched the rise and fall of her chest, the bounce of her breasts. Her head was thrown back in ecstasy and he reached up to tweak her pebbled nipple.

She groaned and threaded her fingers into his hair. He leaned forward, pressing kisses between the valley of her breasts.

“I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.”

“Cass.” She whispered his name like a prayer, her body colliding with his in perfect harmony. 

It was a different sensation, a different sort of pleasure, making love with someone Nesta allowed herself to love. For once, she did not hold back. For once, she was not ashamed or embarrassed. For once, she let him have all of her and didn’t think about what would happen next.

Without warning, he gripped her ass and stood, lifting them out of the water. “I need to fuck you properly. I need to pound into you and make you scream. I want to hear you scream my name, sweetheart. Please.”

He carried her through a doorway obscured by a small curtain. The recovery room was outfitted with a small pantry and medicine, everything one could need for recuperation after a battle. But, most importantly, it had a four-poster bed against the far wall.

As they walked across the room, he snaked his arm around and circled her clit. “Promise me you’ll let loose for me, Nes. Promise me you’ll let go.”

She could only nod, having dropped her forehead against his shoulder. She began to whimper as he pressed softly.

He laid her back on the bed, letting her legs hang off the side. He gripped her under the knee and brought her ankle to rest on his shoulder. He kissed a pass from her ankle down her calf. The other leg hooked around his waist. His length rubbed against her slit, driving her insane.

“Cassian, please!” She cried.

“Again,” he breathed, gripping her ass.

“Cassian,” she begged, breathlessly as her eyes fluttered shut.

He pulled her into him, and she screamed, back arched as he fell into her over and over again.

“Please, please, please,” she repeated, panting as he pushed into her, pulling his length all the way out, before slamming back in.

Cassian was mesmerized as he watched her hand snake between them, lick her finger, and press her finger to her clit. “You’re going to be my undoing,” he groaned, snapping his hips back into hers. She screamed, picking the pace up as she rubbed her clit.

Her legs began to quiver as the pleasure consumed her, her mind was free of all thoughts except for the one of the man before her, making her feel like an untouchable goddess.

Everything was going bright white. She could feel every nerve ending in her body. Her orgasm was barreling through her and she could barely speak to warn him.

“Cass,” she moaned, gripping one of his arms where he was holding her hips right while he fucked her with no abandon. “Please, baby, I’m close, I-.”

With no warning, he pulled out of her. Nesta growled, her arm tossed over her eyes. She was seconds from finding her release but now that he-.

A long flat lick trailed up from her entrance to the tip of her clit. A second followed and she couldn’t stop herself from reaching down and tangling her fingers into his hair as she groaned.

Cassian was enjoying himself, she knew he was, was enjoying the pleasurable torture he was currently making her endure.

He growled, low and deep, as her fingers in his hair tightened and pulled. 

She moaned his name. His name was all that she could think of, the only thought that she could manage to string together.

Cassian, Cassian, my mate, Cassian. My mate, mate, mate.

Keep calling my name, sweetheart. Keep telling everyone who’s making you feel so good.

Cassian’s lips closed around her clit and he sucked, unraveling what bit of Nesta’s resolved remained and she tumbled down into her orgasm.

It was like nothing she’d ever experienced, enjoying the orgasm Cassian wrung out of her. She screamed his name and she could have sworn the earth moved beneath them.

Her body shook, her mind falling blank into utter ecstasy. She thought her heart would explode, beat directly out of her chest. As Cassian leaned back to drink her in, a soft laugh bubbled out of her mouth. She cursed as her eyes shot open and he met her gaze. 

He licked what remained of her off his lips before he asked, “Satisfied, sweetheart?”

“Cocky asshole,” she mumbled, motioning for him to come closer.

He kissed a path up her body, loving the way she twitched and squealed when he reached her breasts and paid them special attention. When he reached her lips, he hitched her leg up around his waist, opening her up to him. One long finger teased her entrance. “Speaking of those,” he breathed, continuing to kiss her neck. He let his finger trail farther back. Her eyes shot open as he teased that sensitive, forbidden entrance. He stopped, letting his finger trail back to her clit and he circled the nub. “If you ever decide you want to explore, I can promise you that you won’t regret it.”

Nesta had never even considered that before, letting him well and truly take her from behind, and today wasn’t the day either as Cassian sheathed himself inside of her with one strong thrust.

Nesta screamed and the sound bounced off the walls of the tiny room.

His name became an oath on her lips, reverent and holy, and she could do nothing but bask in the love that she knew would one day be her absolute redemption.

She reached up to hold his stubbled cheeks, forcing him to meet her intent gaze. His eyes connected with hers as sweat trickled from his brow, coating her frail fingertips. His eyes did not waver from hers as he made love to her, his fingers tightened around her waist as he thrust himself in and out. It suddenly became more intimate, suddenly less animalistic as they watched every emotion that passed between them. 

That pleasure changed from one of ecstasy to one of bliss and beauty, endless love and pure adoration. 

Cassian was a territorial fae bastard. Fucking, he was good at. Great at. Exceptional at, as Nesta happily knew all too well. But she had never known him to be so intimate, so raw. 

And he was so utterly raw as his eyes stripped her down, gave her every ounce of him, and promised her himself for whatever years they had left in their immortal lifetimes.

His head fell against her chest. “Gods, I’m close,” he breathed, picking up the pace. Nesta, too, was right at the edge and she gripped his hair, forcing him to look up at her.

“I love you,” she breathed, and crashed her lips against his.

The words, the profession he’d been waiting to hear for so long triggered his release and his orgasm barreled through him.

He continued to fuck her hard and her orgasm was right on top of his. She cried out and milked him for all that he had as he came inside of her with a groan and her name.

When they were done, they laid there a while, not willing to yet break the contact between them. Cassian finally pulled out of her and watched as their mixed climaxes spilled out of her. He was already set to go again.

Nesta grinned, tracing the patterns on his chest. “This is it, isn’t it? The territorial mate thing has kicked in? You’re going to start killing every male that looks my direction, aren't you…”

Cassian nipped at her nose before contemplating his response. “Yeah, it’s better to ignore everything I do in the next few days. Feel free to kick my ass every time I overstep a line.”

“So, I’ll be kicking your ass a lot, then,” Nesta said, laughing quietly, reaching behind him to slap his ass.

Cassian's grin widened. “I haven’t even done anything yet!” He pressed his mouth to hers before saying, “Feel free to do it again.”

Nesta smiled softly before saying “Everything is going to change now, isn't it?”

Cassian laid down next to her, gathering her in his arms, as he said, “Some things will. Some will have to. One of us will have to move, because I can’t sleep a night without you now. I’ll get my ass handed to me by Azriel and Rhys for a while when I snarl at them for walking in the room. Oh, and you won’t be able to walk straight for the next few months.” She laughed and swatted his chest. “But the one thing that won’t change is the way I feel about you,” he said, pressing a kiss to her sweaty forehead. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you…”

And I’ll love you until we step into the next life.

Nesta’s head snapped up and she looked at him as she realized she could hear him in her head, she could clearly hear him down the bond.

I love you, she said, clear and strong down the bond. A test to see how well he could-.

I love you more.

Nesta rolled her eyes and laid her head back on his chest.

He said it again, and again, into her mind as he had wanted to do for so many years. And Nesta said it back until they both fell into a steady sleep, tangled in each other’s arms atop the sheets of a bed within a cave deep within the underground of the Summer Court. 

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 9, 2019 // the velvet masque

this ep is sept 9 bc victoria bursts in the next day bc of the coins and thats the day they do the seancé which is the night of sept 10 (which they keep referencing at the asylum and w bashiir)

completely unwarranted this is my lil update for all who didnt know, dead lucy and alive lucy are played by 2 different people k thx bi 💙🙏🏻

-"way to be literal lucy" SHE IS BEING LITERAL THO LMFAOOOO

-"what do you do when the dead stop talking to you?" maybe shes busy bitch. shes got tons of hauntings scheduled and people attempting to seancé her and shit. u cant hog her all the time just cause she's ur mom

-"its a first date bess not a parliamentary hearing" this and the whole date scene is so cringe 😂

-"what do we know about the velvet masque" nancy uses the crew's collective pool of knowledge available/working together but still unwilling to trust others; nancy wants to get answers at any cost but answers don't mean friends. *maybe sometimes she needs the endorsement of others to move forward in certain times (ie "use me" to lisbeth after owens death)? idk feel free to debate that w me but nancy really takes advantage of having everyone help her for someone who says they work alone

-"i've been following him around"/"i've been studying every word looking for clues" nick is terrible at mysteries/snooping and has to go to nancy for help which nancy knows --> "we're here to steal the coins"/"you're gonna get kicked out" like when he talks about stalking owen shes laughing at him so much lmaooo but nancy is NOT book smart, she is street smart, and highly logical - she predicts human behavior scientifically, not socially

-"good cheekbones" owen lmfaoooooo

-so in the first ep nancy breaks into ryans house and this ep ryan breaks into hers right back 😂

-"take me to the velvet masque" so now ryan takes lucy and nancy, but he hesitates for nancy after what happened to lucy --> trying to stop her going in and then lucy appearing trying to warn nancy about ryan/the "bad thing" (celia) but lucy still kinda blames ryan for that one

-HOW does bess manage to make a white t-shirt and jeans look sooooooo good

-"so go help that person!" GEORGE lmfaooo

-"are we good?" ohhhh nancy. read the room sweetie. (she cant i know she cant)

-wonder if this poor guy w the chocolates sees nick and george across from him and thinks of himself and victoria lmaoooo

-"he must not know the whole story" ryan is always kept in the dark about everything, all the time which is ironic af bc nancy is always after knowledge at any price

-interesting that ryan only really "sees" lucy fully (at first) in nancys house

-ryan's foreshadowing: "if anything happens to you, you're not my responsibility" / "everett should have thought of that before he kicked me out of the family" / "your father is trying to teach you a lesson" by everett rejecting lucy and therefore nancy, ryan's little family was kicked out 20 years ago and ryan now completes the circle (this goes w his "steering ship" comments from the dinner ep)

-so honestly, how are the crew standing out so badly at this event?? its fucking dark and most people wear masks. is it that bloodhound rich nose that can smell a fake chanel a mile away? curious.

-owen + nancy / shades of blue (destined to be melancholy)

-sooooo nancy and owen's age difference. owen was 5 in 1999 and nancy was born in 2000 soooo hes only 5ish years older than her. so 19 and 26. (for reference ryan was 17/18 in 1999 and is now 37/38, and tiffany was 28 as laura said, and george is equal to nancy.) 🤷🏼‍♀️i honestly kinda love owen/nancy fight me on it.

-"please tell me you're not here to steal the coins" foreshdowing s2 "i have been trying to warn you all day"

-lucy was a creative writing hoe, we would've vibed so hard tbh

-BESS your gay ass just tanked the mission 😂

-"Luce?" 🥺😔

-damn lucy can't decide if she likes him or hates him 😂

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: "i had this one good thing in my life and i ruined it" i think men genuinely feel like this a LOT. living in the past, bringing it w them to the present, thinking they only had it good way back when. something about never reclaiming former glory/kinda tox masc but a lot of emotion in it too. like goodness in the present is unattainable. i mean ryan is like 38 so that midlife crisis tho? 😕

-"...carson drew." ryan and nancy almost share their looks of despair as they realize that carson is involved / makes me think of s2 ending when nancy says ryan "could use a dad" or something

-"looks like i missed some things" as always nancy lmfaoooo like. "what we were looking for?" no sis. no honey. not at fucking all. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-either owen fell in love with nancy at first sight or he pounced on her real quick at that gala bc damn 👀

-bess and lisbeth are the cutest 😭💙🙈

and lastly

-"my heart belongs to a certain mechanic with very good cheekbones" honestly sis why would you say it like that?? that word choice and phrasing leaves me all off. like what a combination tease to owen and backhanded compliment to nick all in one

[cecil-and-ray-oddworld]

Part 1 - Part 2 @industrial-tox​ | @sootfaced-mud Tox clenched his teeth and bit his bottom lip in anger as Cecil spoke. “Oh fuck off, country boy… Don’t criticise my music when you play that horrendous instrument.” He grumbled under his breath. Everybody worships our music. ‘Not enough melody’ my ass! Tox thought. His anger subsided a little when Kirah’s name was mentioned, and he snapped out of it, ready to listen. Though, he did hate Cecil even more now. --------------------------------------------------- “She’s safe downstairs. Just waiting for the computer to finish up.” But then Tox just. Went. off. And Cecil responded in the only way he could when faced with this level of pigheadedness; Laughter. “Country boy!” Cecil snickered. “I never even said it was bad, just that it’s not my taste! Like Soots here says. Who cares what some nobody like me thinks anyway? And that “horrendous” instrument over there? I built it myself. I only saw one of these once before and I not only figured out how to make it and tune it, but also play it.” He grabbed the gurdy off the table and swung the strap over his shoulder. “You’re right, though. People do worship your music. It’s designed to be that way. I didn’t get into it for some reason, but there is one song I loved that I heard all the time back in my slave days... Tell me how this sounds, maestro...” Not only was Cecil able to get beautifully even notes out of the strange contraption, but was able to play the chorus of their old song “Sun bleached bones” by memory alone. The fiddle-like melody emphasizing how well it was composed, effectively playing a check-mate on Tox. “Still think this instrument is horrendous? Or are you gonna hate on your own work just to spite me?”

[imtcxic]

“Hey babe, Imma need you to slide this track on for me..” they gave a prostethic-fanged smile to the dj as they ran unto the stage in sheer excitement. Taking a rag , they wiped down the titanium work tool before quickly discarding the rag behind stage, they were known for buckling and or tripping behind the scenes and simply wanted to avoid such. Toxic then looked down to platform-clad feet, attempting to take in the few moments of silence and giving realization that within their two months here, this would be their first time dancing to their music preferrence, rock and blues was all they knew. Suddenly,a deafening axe solo graced the speaker ; letting them know ITS THEIR TIME UP!

@pvalleyhqs

“LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR..”

They smiled to themselves as a slow sway and swing delivered from their slim yet ample limbs. Swaying to the whispers of Drowning Pool’s most famed intro and secretly, her theme song.

“LET THE BODIES HIT THE....

“FLOOR!!!” The base of the heavy metal song blasted through the crisp amp system of CODE PYNK. In a swift movement, Toxic immeadeatly clasped unto the pole with their left hand, wrapping their right leg around the pole ; and begun to swing wildly. With each hardened deliverance of the beat given, they spun with effortlessness around said polished pole, offering nothing but focus and an attempt at fun to their craft. After the final “Floor” was given by the lead singer, the dancer wined their way unto the floor, suddenly crawling to appease the many ; providing fierce sensual glares with white-cosmetic purpose contact-clad eyes. A tease of possible submission always seemed to hook clientel easily!

“Beaten why for (why for)

Can't take much more

(Here we go, here we go, here we go)”

They found themselves at the end of the danceway/platform by the first “more” . Within that moment, they were able to ride the beat that bucked and fought against what most found as sensual. The ample bodied dancer then shot their legs straight upwards,parting them slowly and surely in front of whichever patron sat front and center ; offering all their halloween treats. Raising their upper-half upward to check on the crowd reactions discreetly, they stuck their tongue our teasingly toward the seemingly intoxicated guest/target of attention. The dancer was going to gun on that center target as if their life depended upon said attention. A literal personal expierence. Before the customer could even graze a dollar amongsts one of the plush hips they dawned, Toxic snapped shut their legs ;giving the signature “classic stripper click” of their platforms, surpassing the beat as they rolled back into their feline-esque stance , seductively posted up unto their two feet before somehow ghosting their way back to transition to the pole.

One, nothing wrong with me

Two, nothing wrong with me

Three, nothing wrong with me

With each count given, the dancer did something discreetly vulgar yet new back unto their pole stationing, wether grinding,wineing or groping at themselves. On the count of one, they gave one vivacious swing of their hips. The count of two and three together ,they began crouching down slightly and gripping at the sheer materials that gaurded at their breast to tease at the side-goers at the bar, the show had to go on. It had to continue. It was only time to amp it up.

Four, nothing wrong with me

One, something's got to give

Two, something's got to give

Three, something's got to give now!!!

The thunderous “NOW “ ripped and convulsed through their body before allowing said energy to begin traveling through the unexpectant crowd , the power of the tune felt almost that to electricity coursing through their veins at this point. “Im ALL CHARGED UP NOW” the young goth yelped internally before grabbing unto their trusty, never dusty nor rusty pole . Tox smiled to themselves , flirtaciously pressing against the pole,before lifting their legs to climb unto the long ,polished steel, still timing themselves with the beat, automatically begining what they reffered to as “ an artistic trance”with a FLOOR POLE STAND ; one leg firm as their leg that occupied the air was wiggling at the ankles , making succssesful jumps ,waves ,ripples and claps within their soft derrier before begininng their journey up the pole.once the upper peak of the pole was found and confirmed stable,Toxic then preformmed an instant FAN KICK ; using their upper body strength to keep firm against the pole as their legs spun. Nudging their busy lower body downward,they then placed themselves in what seemed to be the center of the pole; willing themselves as they began to showcase their core strength down unto the floor. Bending themself backwards, Toxic then preformed a SPLIT HIP HOLD, holding what seems to be their entire leg upward, while keeping themselves hoisted unto the bar in mid air; the blood was RUSHING through their head, a crazed grin clad upon bronzed features, there was peace in each move internally and stress admitted and released outwardly. Suddenly , of course after a few precautionary untanglings of limbs they landed into a SPLIT ; flexing and bouncing their cheeks wildly as the guitar solo mellowed itself in a sense.

Skin against skin, blood and bone

You're all by yourself but you're not alone

You wanted in now you're here

Driven by hate consumed by fear

Though at the base of the pole, they snaked their already slender body amongst the cool metal upward ; their chaotic smile still playing at their glossed lips as they take a firm grip to give their final move.Taken in by the smooth hiss of singers final croon within the verse, Toxic slid their hand down to the bottom of the poles base ; gripping it firmly, their left leg steady ,suddenly lifted from the stage as the right lifts upward in unison to the final soloing guitar, initiating THE ALLEGRA. Both of their legs kicked outward in two different directions as their core and left arm became their strengths; they twisted their own body forward causing for the pole to spin their body for the FULL final display of their aerobics and homemade “costume”. After the song finally cut, Toxic jumped from the pole. Giving a smile and a creepy wave ; they flashed their horror-prop retractable fangs, allowing them to protrude outwardly , slowly as they bowed in conclusion

[danyka-fendyr]

Absence of Good - 4

Chapter Four: Clowning Around

Okay, so, I know I said I probably wasn’t going to get this written this week but...surprise! I tried out this tip where you write it in comic sans and it’s supposed to make you more creative and uh...it did. It definitely works guys. Like maybe it’s just the placebo effect but this was a BREEZE to write. And for all of my stats people out there, yes, I am aware that z-scores aren’t actually done like this, but it’s a JOKE, okay, a JOKE. Anyway, I hope you guys also think this is good.

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @rhabakoli

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake @prettyboyspenerrr

Wordcount: 2655

Warnings: Mentions of death and murder. Clowns.

“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”

-Jess C. Scott

“This one…isn’t real, right?”

You leaned over on your seat in the jet to whisper in Spencer’s ear. You just couldn’t believe this kind of thing could possibly happen. You had to be investigating some kind of prank show crap or something. Perhaps Netflix’s newest horror movie. Maybe Sara J. Maas wrote a new novel series that some LARPers got a little carried away with.

“Hotch never jokes,” Spencer whispered.

“Well yeah. I got that on day one. But maybe he’s like…wrong?”

“File it under Also Doesn’t Happen. The statistical probability of Hotch being wrong is so low that if you compared him to anyone else in his position the z-score you found wouldn’t even be statistically significant,” Spencer explained.

“I don’t remember what the words you just said mean but yes.”

“Well, a z-score is-“

“No no, don’t tell me. A little bit of mystery keeps things sexy.”

“You just don’t want to know because it’s math, huh?”

“Gosh, you know me so well.” You grinned at him.

“Yo, what are you two flirting about over there?” Derek’s smile was best described as a cocky, meddling grin typically worn by people who were sons of-

“Maybe it’s work. Maybe it’s Maybelline.” Spencer shrugged, and everyone on the plane stared at him.

“Spence…Y/N says that. Oh my gosh, they’re even starting to talk like each other,” JJ said, her face the same as Derek’s.

They were terrible people. Terrible, terrible people.

“You know, JJ makes a good point. You guys spend a lot of time together. What would you even do if we separated you?” Emily mused.

You stared at her, hating the idea already. Spencer was what you knew. He was who you worked best with. You were partners in…not crime. Even just the thought of getting up off the jet coach and sitting away from him was unpleasant. You two always sat on the couch, right next to each other. It was important. For brain storming sessions. Important for brainstorming sessions and your work, which you took very seriously.

“We work well together,” You defended your relationship.

“Well yeah, of course, but maybe you would work well with someone else. You haven’t really given it a chance though, have you?” Emily pointed out.

“Yeah. Lover boy over here is being selfish, won’t let you go for 5 minutes. The rest of us want a turn, you know,” Derek said.

“Well you can’t have one. Spencer is my partner. We’re maximizing efficiency, right Spence?”

You looked up at Spencer and he nodded, a serious frown on his face. It appeared that he also did not like the idea of you being ripped away from him, however adamant the team was that they get their turn. Children. Absolute children.

“But if we really wanted to maximize efficiency we would have to test the hypothesis that you and Spencer are the two members of the team who work best together,” JJ said, starting to get in on the fun now. “You know…Hotch, you haven’t given us our assignments yet and we land pretty soon…”

Hotch looked up, appearing completely unaffected by this conversation.

“Rossi and Prentiss, you two will be heading to the morgue. Derek and Reid, I want you exploring the latest crime scene. Y/L/N and JJ, I’d like you two to interview our witnesses.”

And just like that, all your dreams of a sweet, happy work day with Spencer were crushed. Not that your work days usually turned out sweet and happy, but Spence always made a bad situation better. Sometimes when you were having an off day you wanted to call him just to hear the sound of his voice giving you facts about Daniel Powter or something.

You sighed, slumping back into your seat and doing something that an uneducated outsider might call pouting. You, however, knew better. You did not pout. You only displayed disappointment on occasion.

“Witness interrogation?” You mumbled to Spencer. “How on earth am I supposed to interview some poor sap about a clown murderer?”

 “Okay, so it looks like our witness here is…let me see…Mandie Dawkins. 16, apparently saw the whole thing while sneaking out to meet her boyfriend, fled the scene then called 911.”

“They did do a tox screen on her, right? Like…I’m just making sure here.”

JJ’s face betrayed her own disbelief as she sucked in air between her teeth. “Yep. As hard as it is to believe, well…kids see the darndest things.”

You two entered the interrogation room to see a girl who was, frankly, terrified looking. You couldn’t blame her though. After all, she had witnessed a man dressed as a clown use a chainsaw to murder a guy. That left a mark that probably wouldn’t come out without a few good years of therapy. You definitely sensed a clown phobia developing here.

“Hi, Mandie. My name is Jennifer and this is my partner, Y/N. We’re just hear to ask you some questions about what you saw the other night.”

JJ spoke gently, and you were impressed by how soft her tone was. You had seen this side of her before, but only briefly. When she brought her kids into the office she was a completely different person.

“Hi,” Mandie said, sniffling slightly.

“Mandie, we know you already told the officers, but could you maybe just tell us again what exactly happened that night?” You asked, following Jennifer’s lead in speaking softly and slowly.

Mandie teared up as she recounted the events. “I…I thought it was just a joke, you know? Like, the whole clown apocalypse thing on the internet or whatever they’re calling it. Just like, a Halloween thing, you know? I didn’t think anyone was actually going out there and hurting people, or, or, or killing them.”

“It’s alright, Mandie. We’re going to catch whoever did this, okay? We’re going to need your help to do that though. I’d like to try something, if you’re alright with it. Can you close your eyes for me, Mandie?” Jennifer asked.

You watched closely. You knew what she was doing. A cognitive interview. You had never done one yourself, but you had been taught how to. They weren’t Spencer’s forte however, so you usually weren’t assigned to situations where that might be necessary.

“Alright, now I want you to imagine that you’re back there, walking to your boyfriend’s. I want you to tell me what you see. What’s the weather like?”

“It’s…it’s cold,” Mandie said. “And a little bit windy, too. There are goosebumps on my arms. I brought a jacket but it’s not heavy enough.”

“Alright. What else? Do you smell anything?”

Mandie thought for a moment. “No, not really. Just the rain from earlier and I guess gasoline.”

“Gasoline?”

“Yeah. Or like, propane maybe. Some kind of fuel.”

“Alright, you’re doing great,” Jennifer said. “Now as you get closer to your boyfriend’s house, what do you see?”

“I’m almost there when I see him. This guy, dressed as a clown. You know, the whole bit too. The really big shoes, a red wig, even the nose. And he’s got this chainsaw, but not like, an old-fashioned one. It’s electric, and it’s really loud. I don’t know how I didn’t hear it before. Probably the wind. Anyway, he’s lifting it up, and it looks like it’s really heavy-“

“Hold on,” JJ instructed. “Let’s stop there for a minute. You said it looked heavy. What made you think that?”

“Well the way he’s lifting it. It’s like it’s really hard for him.”

“Okay. What next, Mandie?”

“Well there’s this guy, right? And he’s just walking down the street, and I think he’s a jogger or something because he’s got sports clothes on. So this clown comes right up behind him and he must have just turned the chainsaw on recently because the guy doesn’t hear him and turn around and he just starts…hacking into him.” Mandie is struggling to speak through her tears. “There’s so much blood. Just like…everywhere, there’s so much blood and screaming and I-“

“Okay Mandie. It’s okay. You’re safe now. You’re here, with us. Try to focus in on what’s happening. Does anything stand out to you?”

“I can see his mouth moving. I can’t tell what he’s saying, but he’s talking to the guy. Or maybe to nobody. I can’t really tell, but he’s definitely saying something.”

“Okay Mandie. Thank you so much for all of your help. You did great today, and you helped us out a lot. Why don’t you go get yourself something to drink, okay?”

“Okay.”

You leaned forward in your chair, looking at Jennifer. “Wow. You’re really good at that.”

“I used to be press liaison for the BAU, so I dealt with a lot of families. I was doing stuff like this before I was ever profiling.”

You nodded. JJ’s history with the BAU had come up a few times before, but you had never realized how deeply it would impact her current work.

“Okay, so this guy can’t be that physically fit, right? If he’s having enough trouble lifting a chainsaw that Mandie can see it from how far away she was, then he must have really been struggling. Maybe he’s sick?” You suggested.

“It’s a possibility. Frankly, I’m more interested in the talking. Even though we don’t know what he’s saying, it gives us more insight into him as a killer. We know he’s killed before, because he’s too unmistakable not to be a serial killer. It could be that whatever he says to them is his version of a signature. Maybe he has to do it to get the right satisfaction from the kills,” JJ theorized.

“Yeah. I just feel like the more we find out the less we really know.” You frowned.

“Welcome to working with people who aren’t super geniuses.” JJ laughed.

“So far it’s been a little rough,” You joked.

JJ became more serious. “Do you miss him?”

You didn’t even have to think about it. The answer was instantaneous, screaming itself in your brain, aching somewhere in your chest. You liked the familiar rhythm you had with Spencer, and even though there was a lot you could learn from JJ, the steady work you were able to do with Spencer was what you preferred. Just you and him, thinking things through, applying logic until things made sense the way you needed them to. Still, you left a pause before you answered her.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s my partner, you know? Working with you is great, but it’s just not the same without him. He gets me.”

“Yeah. It’s always nice having someone who can understand you. But the challenge is important to, you know.”

“Oh, believe me, I know. Spencer never fails to challenge me. The mere existence of his IQ is a challenge.” You laughed.

“I can understand that. When Will and I met he was such an intimidatingly good detective that I felt challenged. Not afraid to break the rules either, and I was such a good girl back then…I never rocked the boat, if you can believe it.”

You couldn’t. JJ stood up for herself so much now that you couldn’t imagine a meek, shy version of her.

“But Will and I, we get each other. In a way other people wouldn’t be able to. When I finish a bad case, he just knows. I never have to say a word when I get home. He can always tell.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Spence has a weird gift for that too. You know as well as I do that every case affects all of us differently, but he can always tell the ones that hit me the hardest. I always think I’m doing a really good job of hiding it, then come to find out he knew I was struggling the whole time and he has biscotti and coffee.”

“I thought you were a tea drinker?”

“I am. Coffee is for when I’m sad or celebrating. Coffee is for closers.”

“Case closers,” JJ joked.

“Yep. Remind me to take you out for coffee some time after this. We can catch up, talk about your kids. It will be fun.”

“Yes! I’ve been dying for a little girl time. We should definitely do that.”

You met with the rest of the team, and as it turned out, they had discovered more than you. In fact, you were fairly certain you had discovered enough to lay down a profile. Not before you caught a relieved glimpse of Spencer though, sharing a quick smile before being dragged over to help give the profile.

You were looking for a white male in his mid-twenties to early thirties. He would come across as weak and submissive in his personal life, and may be looked down on by his peers. Probably works in a job where he is effectively invisible. The last guy you would notice in a room. He would let others control him in his real life, then exercise that control in his killings. It was also highly likely that he was insecure about his physical fitness since all of his victims so far had been joggers and seemed to be in good shape.

“Alright crime fighters, here’s what I’ve found on our victims so far. I think you’ll like this delicious little morsel. As it turns out, our victims all went to exactly the same gym. Not the same times, mind you, but they were in and out on the same days of the week,” Garcia said from where she was video calling in.

“Can you tell us who was working those days and times, Penelope?” Rossi asked.

“Way ahead of you sir. I’ve got three different names that worked every session that our victims worked out and I’ve got even better news coming your way, two of them either have solid alibis or don’t fit the profile. You know what that means…”

“Garcia, I’m going to need a name and an address,” Hotch said.

“Already sent to your personal communications devices! Ta ta!”

“Thanks baby girl, you’re the best,” Derek said before hanging up.

As it turned out, Garcia’s information was good. You caught the guy, 32 year old Randall Myers. He worked as a yoga instructor at the gym and had been killing the clientele of the gym because apparently he felt like they were all judging him. In his mind, he had fabricated a world where he was somehow a victim of them and their bullying. Personally you always felt a bit judged by everyone else at the gym, but not so much that you dressed up in a clown suit and chain-sawed them to death while screaming ‘Who’s the clown now?’ But hey, maybe you were just a little bit too well adjusted for your own good.

You settled into your usual seat next to Spencer on the jet, and you had never been happier to have him join you.

“That was just about exactly as weird as I thought it was going to be,” Spencer said, chuckling to himself.

“Yeah, you can say that again.”

You two sat in silence for a moment, letting your awkwardly separate day hang between you two. Were you supposed to talk about it? It didn’t matter if you were or not, because you did it anyway.

“I missed you.” You both said it at the same time, in near perfect sync.

“It…wasn’t the same without you,” Spencer confessed.

“I do add an unmistakable ambience to the dead bodies and the crime scenes.”

Spencer rolled his eyes tolerantly at your questionable sense of humor.

“You’re right though. I learned a lot from JJ, but I really just wanted to be with you. I guess you complete me, Doctor.”

“I guess I do.” He smiled at you.

You huffed a sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Such a weird day.”

“Such a weird day.”

“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.”

-Kaui Hart Hemmings