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persephone-uwu · 4 months ago

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So going on another Fallen rant, and psychological dive of Cam. Severe TW

If you’ve never read the book, and don’t know who Cam is, or it’s been awhile, Cam is the bad boy, second love interest in Fallen who turns out to be a demon that just wants to sway Luce. He’s known for his explosive temper, and beautiful good looks; but in his, badly written book, we also find out just how much he avoids love; going as far as to ditch a girl on a rooftop because he was scared of getting too close, or even when Roland hugs him after not seeing him for so long, Cam doesn’t hug him back and tells him, “take it easy,” even though he doesn’t pull away. It’s not the first time he seems to flinch away from physical contact. In Fallen in Love, he literally flinches away from Roland: Roland wiped his face and pulled himself to his feet. He reached for Cam, but the demon flinched away.

Cam is a victim of abuse. His story had the opportunity to be about a victim healing, and learning to love again, and be in a healthy relationship; but that’s not what we got. Cam goes back into another unhealthy, and abusive relationship, which is why I hate Unforgiven completely and don’t consider it canon. Not only do we not get any backstory on Cam, or his relationship with his siblings, or stories of his time on Earth, but he doesn’t heal. He doesn’t overcome his trauma.

Now stay with me.

“How is he an abuse victim?” You may ask

Cam went through toxic relationship, into toxic relationship, into toxic relationship.

First, he’s kicked out of heaven by his father, whom he was loyal to, and even remained an angel afterwards until his breakup with Lilith. He didn’t get a say in it whatsoever, his choice was taken from him, all because sky daddy was mad at Lucifer, so he kicked all of them out, because he “lost patience” with his angel host. So because his father is a narcissist and threw a tantrum, he was kicked out of his home. Which was a traumatic experience. One he even gets angry at Shelby about when she makes a joke about it.

“Yeah, about that… how’s that possible?” Shelby said. “You’d think that kind of thing would leave an impression on the old memorizer.”

Cam’s face reddened. “You try falling for nine days through multiple dimensions and trillions of miles, landing on your face, breaking your wings, rolling around concussed for who knows how long, wandering the dessert for decades looking for any clues as to who or what or where you are—and then talk to me about the old memorizer.”

And then he meets Lilith, who he is described as having a toxic relationship with. Daniel describes their relationship in Passion, “Both of them had their volatile sides, and when they argued, the whole tribe heard about it.”

During this moment, she gets so angry that he won’t marry her in a church (because he can’t) that she begins to physically assault him. Despite the power imbalance, he lets her. He doesn’t fight back. He lets her hit him, pin him down, belittle him. Why? Because he is so clearly an abuse victim. Their entire relationship is toxic, and the fact that he doesn’t fight back in this moment, and that her first reaction is to assault him physically, tells me this isn’t the first time. The fact that Unforgiven disregards this, and gaslights him into thinking he made it up, even though this is told through Daniel’s perspective, who says he remembers this. This was Lauren’s opportunity to write a deep story with a beautiful message, something abuse victim could be inspired by. Instead, she does the lazy thing, and pretends what happened in Passion was Cam’s imagination. Even though Lilith in Unforgiven is the exact same Lilith in Passion. They fight so much though it’s only 15 days. They fight almost every chapter. That’s not healthy. That’s Cam constantly going back to toxic relationships, because that’s all he knows.

After she leaves in Passion, Cam tells Daniel that he’s “lonely,” as in present tense. As in, even with Lilith, he was lonely. But Daniel is toxic to Cam too. In that moment, Daniel could’ve been there for his brother, who clearly adores him, but chooses to throw Lucinda in his face, and how she’s all that he needs.

Cam lashes out at that point. Which seems to be the source of Cam’s anger. The only time we see his infamous temper is in response to someone else’s behavior: which is what reactive abuse is.

Another example of this is when Daniel and Cam are fighting in Rapture, Daniel is stonewalling, with his arms crossed over his chest, being dismissive and not acknowledging Cam’s feelings. Cam is angry, red faced as he’s yelling at Daniel. As a victim of abuse, I can’t stand when I’m being ignored, or dismissed. It ignites a rage within you, because you don’t feel heard. This also seems to be a reoccurring issue because everyone, including Luce, doesn’t get involved. This is clearly normal behavior for them.

Daniel seems to downplay Cam’s feelings, and never take them into account. He doesn’t support him, or comfort him during his first breakup, that leaves him so devastated, that he switches sides, and even self-harms. His wings are badly scarred from self-harm.

That can be extremely frustrating for victims of abuse.

So then after all of this, he finds himself back with Lilith. No healthy relationships for him. No healing. Nothing.

This could’ve been such an inspirational story for victims of abuse. Watching Cam heal, and learn to accept love again, and not just romantic love! But familial love, like Roland and Arriane. Two who love him, but we never get to see Cam make amends with them, to become close again, to heal. I wanted a book about him that tells us more about his time in heaven, his adventures on Earth, more of his powers and charm, seeing the comedy and love between those three goofballs. There’s so much depth to Cam, and we don’t get to see any of it in Unforgiven. It’s more of Lilith’s story than his.

It could’ve still be a story about second chances, but not theirs. Cam’s. His second chance at love, but a healthy relationship, while also healing his relationship with Arriane and Roland. Unforgiven let me down, and I will never ever like it, or accept it as canon.

Also this should’ve been Cam

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assisi-writes · 2 years ago

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OMG why didn’t i see this post earlier????

first of all, let me say, being a Fallen fan feels like i’m alone in the world, like this fandom just feels so dead, and it makes me so happy to find relatively recent posts of people discussing it and having opinions. fuck yeah, let’s start conversations!!!

and yeah i completely agree with your post, a lot of elements in this series are fucked up, and Unforgiven just never felt right to me. and the whole series in general is just too focused on Luce & Daniel, and we barely get to know the other characters outside of the context of this main couple. like everything we know about Cam or Arriane or Gabbe is always through the lens of what they did FOR, AGAINST, SIMILARLY or DIFFERENTLY from Daniel & Luce, and not as though they are individuals. i think that’s the reason why all of their love stories are fucked up, because they are supposed to be a contrast to Luce & Daniel’s happy ending. the whole reason why i’ve been a fan of this series for 6 years is this consistent feeling of being dissatisfied yet intrigued by the side characters’ backstories. like i would love to learn more about the whole angelic hierarchy, the relationships that they have with each other, and just everything that ISN’T Luce & Daniel

So, I’ve been obsessed with Lauren Kate’s Fallen series for years, but recently rereading it and Cam’s book, Unforgiven, I realize some things I’d like to critique. Spoilers, obviously; and tw for DA and Self-harm, gore, suicide

First, Cam’s character is completely retconned in his book. In Passion, they tell us that Lilith, his love interest, holds him down and screams in his face, and belittles him so badly he actually believes what she says.

In his book, Unforgiven, the author just lazily says, “Cam just imagined that!! That never actually happened.”

Except it did. We know this, because we weren’t looking from Cam’s POV, we were looking through Daniel’s, the main character because was there when it happened. He even says the two would constantly fight, all the time, so loud that the entire village could hear them. I don’t find that romantic.

After this moment, Cam joins Lucifer and even self-harms because he’s so upset. He completely gives up on love. In unforgiven, it says he never moves on from her, and every time he felt something for another girl, he’d leave before it got too serious. Unforgiven is just about him going back to Lilith, who was also retconned.

First, am I suppose to be impressed that he never moved on? That he held on to this toxic ass relationship? I know the author has this thing for all of her characters, where they all devote themselves to one person, and that’s it.

For Daniel and Luce, that worked. For everyone else, it didn’t. Tess and Arriane were toxic. Roland gave up and kept walls up for thousands of years, and will never let anyone else it. So really, only Daniel and Luce got a happy ending. But we’ll get back into that in a moment.

Back to Lilith; we know Lilith was retconned because Daniel tells us that she was beautiful, but mean. She dumped Cam because of a church and verbally and physically abuses him, and has to be pulled off by Daniel. (Also why is Cam dating a teenager in high school anyway? Weirdo. Normalize immortals dating college girls and not minors)

We also know from Torment that Lilith had children, who (as she tells Cam in Passion) that she would curse all of her children to hate him, every female from her bloodline would hate him. And surprise! Torment, we meet Lilith, a direct descendant of Lilith who hates Cam, and she’s JUST as mean, as stated by Shelby, who said Lilith caught her hair on fire in middle school.

But in Unforgiven, after they retconned that scene with “OMG NO, cam made that up!1!1!” Lilith ends up committing suicide because she was so heartbroken by Cam leaving her. She dies in her wedding dress.

How did she manage to have kids if that scene never happened? Why do they hate Cam, if he just imagined that scene? Why does Daniel mention it, and pretty clearly makes it obvious he didn’t like Lilith.

I don’t like Unforgiven, because it was retconned and changed the canon; it doesn’t make sense, and I hate that cam went back to a toxic relationship. Like, she STILL hates him in the book; they fight every chapter, and it takes place in 15 days. That’s a lot of fucking fighting. That’s not healthy. That’s not love.

It’s not uncommon that people cling to their first love, even if it’s toxic, because they don’t want to see the red flags. They want to believe in love; and Cam is so naive, and it’s his first love ever, so of course he’d cling to it. She yelled in his face, they fought all the time, she held him down, which is domestic and emotional abuse. She degraded him. And he goes back to her in Unforgiven.

The author loves this toxic relationship and I don’t know why. It’s like none of her characters can move on from their first loves. Lucifer is still obsessed with Lucinda, Daniel is obsessed with Lucinda, Arriane never gets over Tess, Roland never gets over Roseline, and Cam never gets over Lilith.

Everyone, except Daniel, gives up on love. And it’s like Daniel gets rewarded with that by ending up with Lucinda, but no one else gets a happy ending. The author has this idea of first love and devotion being romantic.

She basically gives Cam this cliche, making-a-bet trope, and with the devil, of course; and it’s just him trying to get Lilith to love him? And he changes for her, because yknow, that’s all women are good for. Changing bad men into good men. (Insert dramatic eye roll here)

His story should’ve been about forgiving himself, loving HIMSELF, and moving past this trauma. It should’ve been about him learning to love again, and letting go of the past. It should’ve been about healing, and he could’ve found a love interest too; someone who understands him and helps him heal, not change but heal, and accepts him for who, and what, he is. He deserves a healthy love that doesn’t fight with him constantly.

But let’s look at the canon now. It ends with them leaving Hell, because they won. Now what. It’s left on a cliff hanger, because no one wants to face the inevitable: their relationship is doomed.

Lilith has been in Hell for seven thousand years. Her recent life, the only life she currently knows, she left behind. Her brother, her mother, her friends, everything she knows. She’ll go to the modern world, which she’s never been in. She won’t know any of the world’s history, she won’t know the music, or technology, or anything about it. She will be a fish out of water, an outcast. She’ll definitely struggle to fit in, and this will most likely cause fights between them. She’ll resent Cam. She won’t be able to have a life, because where does she fit in with the new world? Without friends? Without her family? Lilith will struggle with the idea that Cam won’t age, and she will, because that’s who Lilith is. Sure, the angels and Nephilim will help her, we assume; but she’ll crave human companionship; but she wouldn’t even know where to start. Does she go to college, where she doesn’t know anything? I doubt the Devil was teaching her basic school stuff during her time in Hell; (a lazy author would say he was, but we know he’s an asshole in the series, and canonically, he wouldn’t.) so where does that leave them? Cam is her only friend? I can only imagine how many fights that will cause

She has a temper, like seriously bad, there’s no way her and Cam will work out; which what happens then? Even if they do work out, cam never learned to love anyone besides her. He still ends up alone, and giving up on love. She never gets ANY character development at all. She never worked on her temper, which seems like a generational curse. I also hate that we get ZERO backstory on Cam. I want to know his story! How HE felt about The Fall, things he’s done, how he got so good at traveling through Announcers, seeing his powers as an Archangel, and just being introduced into more characters. Or like Lucifer, I wanted more about their bond. Like the tattoo on Cam’s neck, and the night he joined Lucifer’s side. This book was about Lilith, not Cam; I don’t even like Lilith.

I’m just unhappy with the book. I love the author, and the characters, but I definitely think she dropped the ball with Unforgiven. Cam’s story let me down.

Let’s talk about Fallen in Love, which is a short story about how all of the previously mentioned characters got their hearts broken.

Let’s start with Cam, because it’ll be short; because I’ve already talked about him.

We find Cam, who just got dumped by Lilith, self-harming under a waterfall. Water is deadly to Angels wings, so where is he? Laying underneath a waterfall, as it “brutalizes” his body. His body is one big purple bruise, and his wings are bleeding. He’s joined Lucifer’s side and became a demon, because he’s spiraling after the breakup. He had given up on love.

Clearly this scene broke my heart. I hate that we get this scene, just to know he gets back with Lilith. It sickens me.

He proceeds to lash out at Roland, who then also gives up on love.

Roland’s story is that he’s a POC, always has been, and he feels comfortable in his skin. Roseline is a beautiful, blond rich girl who takes a liking to him. She’s human. They’re in love. She’s the only person who didn’t see him for the color of his skin, and for who he was inside. He wants to be with her, but he’s afraid because he’s a demon, and immortal. After going to Cam, who will convince him not to ever love humans, because they can’t be married in churches, and because they’ll never love him if they find out what they are; Roland will go to Roseline, and leave her. He’ll put up walls, and never let anyone else in again. He literally says this. (Also why a white girl?? Especially during that time? We’ve seen Roland as a slave, it would’ve been nice seeing him advocating for his people, or doing something. Imagine him dating a pretty biracial girl, or any POC girl, leading a BLM rally in 2021 😩 him dating a rich white girl feels weird to me)

Arriane’s story is that she in an Angel who is in love with a demon named Tess. Lucifer doesn’t want any of the demons to date (because yknow he got dumped by Luce, so he punished everyone else. Very cliché villain motives) so Lucifer tells Tess that she can’t be with Arriane, unless she can convince her to join the demons. Tess relays this message to Arriane, but Arriane politely explains that she can’t, and won’t. I respect her decision, because it IS her decision. She decides that she has to break up with Tess, who then fucking assaults her. She starts hitting Arriane, and causing her to bleed, and literally has the audacity to say it’s “for love” and because she’s showing her that how hard she would “fight” for their love.

Uh no, honey. You’re just physically assaulting your girlfriend. That’s not love. Please stop.

So naturally, Arriane breaks up with her and leaves. She then gets a bad feeling and returns to find Tess mutilating her fucking wings, and basically committing suicide, because “if she can’t have Arriane, she wants nothing at all.”

Which is so manipulative, and so fucked up, and so unhealthy. So Arriane tries to save her, which ends up getting her seriously injured, and she ends up having to leave after telling Tess, “I love you and will never love another.” And leaves. And guess what? She never loves another. Never even tries.

But all three of these characters say they believe in love, and fight for Daniel and Luce’s love, but gives up on their own??? How is that fair?? It’s like Daniel and Luce are the only ones who get to be happy.

Cam goes back to a toxic relationship.

And Roland and Arriane end up alone.

And let’s just rip on Daniel for a second. This man is so self-absorbed to see his friends suffering and doesn’t care. Cam gets his heart broken, and what does he do? “Why don’t you just tell her?” Bro, that’s his decision. And then brings up Lucinda as if to rub it in his face. When Cam said, “I’m lonely,” that made me so heartbroken. His relationship and favorite brother made him feel alone. I never said, “I WAS lonely,” he used current tense, meaning even with Lilith, he felt lonely, and those are the worst relationships. Daniel also doesn’t cry about Gabbe and Molly sacrificing themselves for his story. He doesn’t thank any of his friends for helping, he even says it was “expected” of them. He’s a terrible friend who only cared about Luce.

Bruh. So what’s the moral of the story here? I seriously can’t figure it out. Stay devoted to your first love? Love is impossible? There’s no underlying meaning, or moral here. There’s no lesson to be learned.

All three of the previously mentioned characters deserve their own book, on overcoming their individual traumas and heartbreaks. Why are we perpetuating this idea that people should stay with their first love??? It’s not uncommon that people mistake their first love, which is usually just infatuation, or lust, or obsession, with love.

But love is gentle. Love is kind. Love is understanding, and patient. Love doesn’t yell at you, love doesn’t hit you. Love doesn’t manipulate you. Love doesn’t own you. Love isn’t apathetic, love is empathetic.

It’s okay not to work out with your first love. If at first you don’t succeed, try again! And again, and again. But you can’t love someone else, if you can’t even love yourself. Until you accept your own flaws, you’re not going to be happy with someone else.

All of these characters need to learn to love themselves first, and look for the love within themselves. They were all so obsessed with the idea of being in love, that they ignored all of the red flags. They all wanted a love like Daniel and Luce’s, but fail to realize that no two relationships are the same. Love is unique. It’s different for everyone. You shouldn’t compare your love to someone else’s, nor to love you had before. Never compare.

Not to your friends’ relationship, or your past relationship, or you’ll never succeed. It would be so great to see these characters forgive their past, and move forward, to move on. In breaking up, you learn so much about yourself. What you can handle, how strong you are, how capable you are, you learn your flaws, and what you can change about yourself, and most importantly, you learn what love isn’t.

All of this is to prepare you for your next relationship. Love should nourish you, it should help you grow, you should learn from it, and be happy, most of all.

And not just romantic love, but platonic and self-love too; which is what the three of them need. I would’ve love to see them coming together again, and see them being friends with Shelby and Miles still. I’m not impressed that they’re still dedicated and devoted to their exes. I think they’re holding themselves back, and preventing themselves from being happy. I absolutely am not impressed, I don’t admire it. I think it’s unhealthy and perpetuates toxic relationships and mindsets.

They’re immortals, and they’ve chosen to spend eternity alone. Even if Lilith loves Cam, when she dies, he’ll never move in after her; because he never learned how to love anyone else. He doesn’t want to.

I want them to experience real love, not fabricated, romanticized ideals of love; but real, happy, fun, love. It’s not always easy, it’s going to hurt, but it’s worth it.

I want them all to find someone who loves them for them, and brings out the best in them. Someone who encourages them to find love, even after they’re gone. They deserve to have so many epic loves.

Love is hope. Love is also betrayal. Yes you’ll get your heartbroken, but don’t ever give up. Love is worth it, above all. There are so many novels, and quotes that I’d love to add, but this is just a rant no one will see, that I just needed to get off my chest, lol.

#fallen #lauren kate #fallen in love #torment #passion #rapture #cam briel #daniel grigori #luce price #arriane alter #roland sparks #gabbe givens #fallen series #unforgiven #lucifer #fallen fandom

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