#they are the enemies to friends to lovers couple ever
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Haven’t posted art in a while so uhh, sketchbook drawings! Sonic has claimed my souls so it’s only sonic
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedghog fanart#blaze the cat#knuckles the echidna#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#for the last drawing#they are the enemies to friends to lovers couple ever#metal sonic#rouge the bat#I have way more sketches and drawings but it feels weird posting multiple times a day so perhaps tomorrow
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Hello Puppet History fandom, I come to you bearing memes and cookies
#okay so i got into puppet history a couple years ago and have been hooked ever since#me when the enemies to lovers are enemies to lovers-ing#made these memes sometime last year and my friend just now convinced me to post them so here you go#hope y'all enjoy; might post more for this show if i remember; we'll see how it goes#ryfessor#puppet history#watcher#watcher entertainment#the professor#beef boy#ph!ryan#ryan bergara#watcher tv
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never not obsessed with them
#benwaka#benkei#wakasa#tokyo revengers#ever so obsessed with two side characters they basically become your ocs?#that’s me with them#cries in like 30 fics total on ao3#pls i need more people to become obsessed with them#they’ve got everything#enemies to lovers#friends to lovers#that old married couple#they basically adopt senju#they run a business together#what more could you want?!
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When i say enemies to lovers i do not mean "rude to each other to lovers" I need atleast 2.5 murder attempts
#yes#as i've said before#is it really true love if they don't stab each other#also the only thing better is friends to mortal enemies to lovers#and nothing in the history of dramas will ever top this trope summed up in a line as well as#“your sword still feels affectionate”#from#my country: the new age#bonus points if the couple ends up dying together in each others' arms#or simply#Wallace Huo#except and I cannot stress this enough#the journey of flower#fuck that drama no matter how many years go by I will never forgive that finale or that drama in general#that one although technically enemies to lovers#it's an#enemies to fuck this shit I'm out#in my book#kdrama#cdrama#media
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Someone knocks at the door while you and rockstar!Eddie are fucking and instead of stopping he goes faster while yelling ‘In a minute’ to the person at the door
the one where your friends keep catching you and eddie having sex (rockstar!eddie universe, established relationship, implied enemies to lovers, cw for smut 18+)
Let it be known, that it would take a nearly apocalyptic nuclear war — or something rapture adjacent, at the very least — for Eddie Munson to stop fucking you. Most people have learned this the hard way. You included.
You’re a panting mess beneath his pale, tattooed form. Eddie’s body, made of milky white silk, grows slick with a fine layer of sweat as he thrusts mercilessly into you. His curls sway around your face each time his lean hips collide with your open thighs. The dull clapping sound that fills the bedroom is punctuated by Eddie’s choked-back groans and your subdued whimpers.
The two of you always make it a point to be polite about your fucking — never quite as loud as you want to be, so as to keep from traumatizing your roommates. Like respectful adults. So it’s entirely Steve’s fault when he barges in with a halfhearted knock like a total psycho.
“Hey, do you guys wanna—” The boy freezes at the sight of his best friends, in a pile beneath the covers, who before now hated each other’s guts. His face screws together like he’s tasted something sour. “Jesus Christ…”
Eddie ceases his thrusts to toss Steve a look over his freckled shoulder. He never moves off of you, effectively shielding your naked body from his view, nor does he pull his stiff cock from your pulsing confines. Much to your horror.
“What?” the wild-haired boy wonders through labored breaths, face flushed red with sex.
“I was gonna ask if you guys wanted to come to the movies with me and Robin,” Steve answers with a roll of his eyes, already on his way out. “But you’re obviously busy—”
“Wait— That new buddy cop movie?” Eddie calls to the boy’s retreating form.
“Eddie!” you hiss through your teeth, filled with panic and distant pleasure, ‘cause the idiot’s trying to have a conversation like he isn’t balls deep inside you. He flashes you a wide-eyed chocolate stare like he’s innocent. “Stop,” you mouth to him.
“Yeah. Start’s at eight.”
“Well, don’t leave us, alright?” he tells him. “We’re coming.”
“Gross,” Steve mumbles and shuts the door behind him.
Eddie turns back to you. His curly bangs are damp with sweat and sticking to his forehead in places. His glowing cheeks are tinted a faint pink color. His lips are swollen and rosy as they curl into a smirk. Sex is written all over his face, painfully so.
“That pun wasn’t intended, by the way—” Eddie jokes before you swat at his lanky bicep. “Ow!”
—————
A year or more later, you and Corrodded Coffin are selling out venues across the country. The world is a whole lot bigger than The Hideout, apparently. ‘Cause, as it turns out, more than just a couple of drunks care about seeing your band play.
Somewhere down the line, you and the lead guitarist of said band are more serious about each other than you ever planned to be — much to the dismay of the rest of your bandmates. Not because they hadn’t spent years waiting for you guys to get together (they most definitely had), but because it was virtually impossible to have privacy while living on a tour bus.
Despite your feeble efforts to stay as subtle as possible, it’s dreadfully apparent when you and Eddie are fucking. The door to the bunks slides slowly shut, and Jeff and Gareth wait with walkmans over their ears until it opens again. This time, they flip a coin to decide who has to interrupt.
Gareth loses (‘cause Gareth always loses) and curses under his breath while he knocks on the closed door.
“Do you guys want food?” you hear him ask over the heavy breathing in your ear. “That fancy ramen place across the bar just offered us dinner.”
Meanwhile, Eddie Munson is riddled with post-show adrenaline as he all but fucks you stupid. His curly hair is as wild as his glassy eyes, now smokey around the edges with smudged black liner. He keeps his chest flush to your spine as he pounds into you with a primal sort of vigor — one ringed hand curled in your hair, the other gripping the plush of your hip.
“Nah, man!” he calls back, choppy through labored breaths, ‘cause he never stops thrusting into you. You’d be worried about the quiet clapping sound of his hips against your ass if your head weren’t so fuzzy. “We’re good!”
The promise of food reminds you that you haven’t eaten since earlier that day. Suddenly, you’re overcome with unexpected hunger and looming pleasure.
“Wait, Eds,” you pant. “Food actually sounds really good right now.”
Eddie rolls his eyes in response, even though you both know he’s gonna give you what you want either way. First, a leg-shaking orgasm that you’ll in feel in your limbs for a half hour after it’s over. Second, all the damn ramen you can eat.
“Fuck, fine— Okay, we’re coming!” Eddie shouts. “Just give us, like, ten minutes, will ya?!”
Gareth grumbles faintly from the other side of the sliding glass door. “Yes, master,” you hear him grouse as he stalks off back to the living area of the tour bus — where it’s safe.
A laugh rumbles in Eddie’s chest as he starts fucking into you again. You bury a whine into your pillow when his balls slap your clit. He presses his mouth to your ear, and you feel his lips curling into a lopsided smile there. “You call me that, and we’ll be outta here in thirty seconds flat, sweetheart.”
#published by bug#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#stranger things x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#stranger things imagine#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fics#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fic#st drabbles#eddie spaghetti drabble#rockstar!eddie
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recent jungkook fanfics that you should read for your own sanity.
(a recommendation for all the girlies who miss him like crazy!)
one rule by @/jasminefanfics on youtube
— dark romance, mean and morally ambiguous jungkook, hostage au, enemies to lovers, smut, love triangle (but it’s just a deranged schizophrenic being the ‘bone in a kebab’ for the gorgeous couple)
— this is ART. this is true unleashed YEARNING. dark ROMANCE done right, literally the perfect read for winter! this is my absolute fav read of this year 🫦
bonded by @borathae
— werewolves au, forced marriage au, childhood besties to lovers, angst, romance, smut.
— will this queen ever stop producing art after art? she’s not capable of doing that, god this was such a good read, I’m still not over this, THIS IS MY SHEYLA FR! (iyykyk) they’re everything to me gawd 🥺
mon révé by @sweetcarrotsandroses97
— archdeacon jungkook, forbidden love, age gap, romani character reader, dark romance.
— I’ve never read something so beautifully, perfectly executed, every scene she wrote is plastered into my brain, the amount of times i think about this fic is not normal, I’m desperately awaiting the new chapters 😔✋🏼
the love prognosis by @awrkive
— friends to lovers (the og), medical au, unrequited love, roommates trope.
— nobody gets them like I do fr! my precious ship! 🥺😻🤲🏼 i loved how down bad he was for her from the beginning, we love a man who worships the ground his woman walks on LIKE AHHHH the author executed the one sided pining from jungkook so well! THE ANGST IS DELICIOUS IN THIS.
christmas & chill series by @girlygguk & @lovieku
— special xmas edition, jungkook and reader.
— the way I’m about to eat this up. u guys aren’t ready for the obnoxious amount of times I’m gonna be crying ab this whole series on my blog, oh lord have mercy on me, this is so brilliant oh how i wanna kiss their hands for this, SUCH DIVAS BOTH OF THEM 🫦
infrunami by @kooktrash
— friends to lovers, mutual pinning, smut, angst.
— boom shakalaka yes gawd! after I completed reading this fic, i took a moment to myself, clapped and took a lap around my bedroom, then I also did a 7 min standing ovation, this deserves more hype ngl.
burning hour by @jungqkook
— established relationship, smut, exhibitionism.
— the amount of times i’ve re read this is embarrassing but it is that LEVEL of good, oh god when is it my turn to experience something like this?
catch twenty-two by @miraclemaven on wattpad
— forbidden romance, age gap, smut, older reader & younger jungkook, angst.
— im so hooked into this story, even though i haven’t started reading properly, this is a promising one, with really good writing.
chained up by @jikookie17
— obsessed addicted jungkook (my jam), smut, angst, fluff.
— reading this made me feel like im watching a melodramatic story of two idiots who literally can’t live without each other, its a cute lighthearted read, 100% recommend!
THE END OF TODAY’S LIST.
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀ hope the girlies like it ⋆. 𐙚 ˚
#bangtan#bts jungkook#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook jeon#jungkook fanfic#bts fic#bts jk#jungkook x oc#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook angst#jungkook scenarios#jungkook recent#yandere jungkook#jeongguk#bts army#bts
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can’t you see ☆ mv1
genre: redbull!driver, enemies to lovers, smut, lando and danny playing cupid lol, protective!max (although he won’t admit it), mean!max, sub!max, dom!reader
word count: 3.2k
In between your mutual dislike with your teammate, Lando and Daniel try their best to make you and Max uncover some hidden feelings.
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+...penetrative sex, riding, sucking on fingers
req!...quick one, but ahh first maxie drabble. eekk :)
“What a fucking asshole.”
Daniel’s eyes bulge out as he hands you a cup of coffee. It had been an extremely long day. Perhaps not the best idea to keep it going, but it seemed like the FIA didn’t give a shit about that. You were past being upset. You were seething.
“Uh…Yeah. I mean I get it. I’m tired, too. This red flag came at the worst time-”
Briskly, you take the cup from him, cutting him off. “It’s not the red flag, it’s Max.” Ever since you joined Formula 1 as the first female to drive for Red Bull, you had felt welcomed by everyone. Everyone but your actual teammate. You had thought maybe it was because he had small balls and couldn’t handle the fact that you were driving alongside him, but when you confronted him about it, he only growled.
As if you would ever cross my fucking mind.
Squinting, you point accusingly at the Australian. “You ought to stop being his friend.” He loudly laughs as he throws his head back.
“You say that every time.”
Making a face, you shoot back. “And you never choose!”
“You’re both my friends. No one is winning custody.”
“You’re older than both of us combined.”
“Hey!”
Hey, a low voice replies. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. A shiver runs down your spine. Max leans up against the nearest wall as he ignores you and keeps his eyes on his friend. You wave your hand up in front of him a couple of times for good measure before your mouth drops open when he acts as if you were Casper the Friendly Ghost.
“We were just talking abou- Ouch!” Daniel shrieks in pain when you pinch him. Faking a smile, you turn to the Dutchman. We were actually in the middle of something here. Nothing. He just keeps looking past you. Running a hand through his hair, he starts talking about how this all ‘ruined my flow’ and how he was going to have to ‘try to fix the FIA’s mistakes’. You have to laugh.
“Is something funny to you?”
You look around the room as you theatrically shudder. Sipping on the hot beverage, you hum and close your eyes. Max clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he crosses his arms in frustration. Cold weather, Danny. Do you think there’s a place nearby that sells homemade chicken soup?
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“If we find one, then maybe we can invite Lando and-” Suddenly, he reaches out for your cup and hot drops hit your hand. You hiss in pain. “What’s your problem, dickhead?”
Now, a normal reaction would be to be a decent human being and apologize. Offer up their own cup of coffee, perhaps. Not Max. Throwing it into the nearest trash bin, he turns to you. And he actually has the audacity to look upset.
“Why didn’t you let me overtake you? I don’t know if you don’t know this because you’re new or something like that, but here, when we are instructed to do something - we do it.”
Narrowing your eyes, you step closer. “So what? I don’t let you by one time and suddenly I’m the bad guy? Let me remind you that that’s all I’ve done for you this season.”
“Maybe when you’re someone’s number one driver then you won’t have to do shit like this, but until then,” he angles himself lower to you, “...It kinda looks like you have to.”
“Oh. No.” Daniel winces as he sips quietly on his hot drink. He can physically see your wheels turning as you glare back at the Dutchman. Your cheeks have turned light pink as you refrain yourself from yelling in front of all the Alpha Tauri engineers. Max scrunches his nose.
“Cute.”
You’re about to explode and let all hell loose, but just then, the red flag is over. Huffing, you grab your helmet as you walk away without sparing a single goodbye. Daniel frowns. “You need to stop treating her like that.” Max scoffs. Treating her how? The Australian inches closer as he lays a large hand on his friend's shoulder. “Like you don’t care.”
As soon as the race picks back up, you’re in the zone. You have to work twice as hard to overtake anyone in your way, considering most drivers were on new tires, but eventually you worked your way through. Drops of rain hit your visor as you slow down in sector 2.
“Should I be worried about the rain?”
“Nothing to be worried about, just keep it up.”
You nod, even though Christian can’t see you. As you get closer, you can see Max’s rear wing. He’s fast - zooming, almost - but that only made you want it even more. Defend. I repeat, defend for a 1-2 finish. “Yeah. No.” Entering the DRS zone, you press down on the throttle as you try all tactics to catch up with the 3x World Champion. Fat drops of water hit the Red Bull as you squint in order to not get lost with the commotion. What are you doing? Defend. “I am defending.” You press harder. “Except I’m defending my spot. Not his.”
It’s almost as if he knows what you’re about to do. Quickly, he scans his sideview mirror as he curses when he sees that you weren’t slowing down. It looks like the two Red Bulls are going head-to-head! Probably not the best idea at the moment considering the tough weather, Crofty announces. Passing Max by, you can’t help but cheer as you try to imagine his reaction.
“Not what we were picturing, but very well executed. He will be defending now.”
It wasn’t planned to get stung by a boiling hot coffee, of course it wasn’t, despite the bickering between you two. It wasn’t planned to take time to scratch your burnt hand. And it most definitely was not planned to crash.
Plunging into the wall, you groan, curses flowing past your lips. Are you okay? “Yes. I’m okay.” Lifting your visor, you shyly wave at the grandstands. Would you mind going over to check on Max? He’s currently not responding. Your heart stops. Jumping off your seat, you climb out of your car as you turn and sure enough, Max’s Red Bull is ruined.
“Are you alright?”
Throwing a thumbs up, he lifts himself out of his car to wave at the fans. He turns to you, dark blue helmet still over his head. “What the fuck was that all about?” You narrow your eyes.
“What do you mean? I got an itch.” And though he wears his helmet, you can’t help but notice the crinkles by his eyes. Your stomach flips. It's because of the crash. That’s all it is. You clear your throat. “What happened to you? You were driving well.” Professionally, he slides his gloves off as he waves over at the safety car.
“I had to check on you one way or another, right?”
Dumbfounded, you're faced with his back as he walks away.
-
“He’s into you, can’t you see it!”
“No. Jesus, don’t even say that.” Lando raises his brows as he throws his legs on top of your bed. Daniel hums from underneath the covers. He’s right, though. Pulling the sheets off, you scowl. “Don’t give me reasons to kick you both out.” Throwing yourself onto the mattress, you smile widely. “Soooo, what’s new?”
It’s all you three are ever good for. Pure gossip. Chewing hard on a piece of pizza, you gag. Daniel cackles as he reaches for the last slice. Hey! What if I wanted that? He cocks his head. Fine, you mumble.
“All I wanted was a warm soup.”
A gentle knock echoes through the room as you all turn to face it. Go and open it, Daniel hisses. Wha- No! You go open it, Lando whispers back. Bunch of babies, you murmur as you untangle yourself from your blanket. Swinging the door open, you freeze. Standing tall is Max with a paper bag at hand.
“Hey.”
Peeking out into the hallway, you stare back confused. “Hey?”
Almost timidly, he kicks his feet up against the wall with a small smile. He extends his arm out, signaling for you to take the mysterious bag. I don’t want any problems, you choke out, feeling skeptical. His blue eyes grow wide.
“Oh. No, don’t worry!” He opens the bag and takes out a small container. Leaning forward, you feel blood rising up to your cheeks. “It’s just soup.”
After an awkward exchange, he leaves. Inhaling the delicious scent, you let out a dreamy sigh.
“He so likes her.”
-
“We might have been wrong.”
Lando tilts his head, curly strands bouncing at the motion. Daniel hurriedly takes a seat next to the Brit as he smacks his large hands on the table. “What do you mean, mate?”
Daniel scans the room quickly before shaking his head. “I mean, that I just heard them two. They were going at it.” Lando blushes as he lets out an awkward laugh. I don’t even want to know. The Australian bites back a smile as he continues. “Not like that. Yet. What I mean is that they’re back to square one. He’s being a complete dick.”
“Alright. Looks like we have to knock some sense into him.”
-
Go, Daniel mouths once Max enters the debrief room, eyes entertained on his phone screen. Pushing past the Dutch, Charles jogs over to where you sit next to George. “Hey!” Greeting him back with a warm smile, you pat to the open seat. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite after this. Maybe some chicken soup?” You beam.
“I love a good soup!”
Rapidly, Max’s ears perk up as he hears your conversation with the Monegasque. He was well over the rivalry, but with this? He would not second guess bringing it back. He clenches his jaw as he notices you nodding along with Charles. Strolling over to the small group, he shoots a bitter grin.
“Did you see Christian’s message about our last minute meeting?”
“Hello to you, too.” Checking your phone, you look back confused with a pout. “No. I haven't received anything.”
“Yeah, well, there’s one-”
“No, there's not.” Flickering your eyes behind your teammate, you’re even more lost. With hands on his hips, Christian taps his shoe as his eyes flicker between his two Red Bull drivers. “Don’t mind him, sweetheart. There’s no meeting.” He sends a small wink at Charles before walking off to the rest of the team principles. Max slumps.
“Ha. Guess it got canceled or something like that…”
Rushing over Lando and Daniel, Charles hunches over as he starts blabbering. “Did it work? Please tell me it worked - God - I think I almost shit myself. Tell me it fucking wo-”
The Brit points discreetly to where Max paces the room, orbs trained on you like a guard dog.
“It’s definitely working.”
He smacks a one hundred dollar bill onto a large hand.
“And thank you for the help, too, Mr. Horner.”
-
Despite the attempts to get you and Max together, nothing seemed to work. The blue eyed boy would appear to start registering his feelings, and at the last minute, would completely chicken out. It would be an outright lie to say that this didn’t entertain the Alpha Tauri and McLaren boys, but they also knew that they had to continue their fairy godparent duties.
“Watch it!”
Crashing onto the couch inside of the Red Bull Hospitality, Max’s face bounces against it. He groans in pain before throwing a harsh stare at his friends. Lando stiffles a giggle as Daniel raises his arms up in defense. Getting seated, the Dutch looks back with a sour expression.
“What’s this hostile situation about?”
Lando panics as he turns to his mate. The Aussie licks his lips, patting his lap. “Look, we’ve noticed a few things-” What things? He huffs. “Maybe if you would just let me finish-” That’s what she said! He glares at Lando who slaps a hand over his mouth, tears from unreleased laughter painting his blue eyes. “As I was saying…We’ve noticed your behavior towards a special little someone…”
“Towards Heidi? Shit. I didn’t think it’d be that noticeable.”
Lando clicks his fingers rapidly before pointing at the Red Bull driver. “He’s trying to not talk about it because he knows where this is going!” No, I’m not, Max shrieks as his voice cracks. Blushing, he pushes his hat lower to his face.
“You like her!”
“You know I like Heidi! She’s good for you-”
“You know that’s not who we’re talking about.”
It’s silent for a while. Standing up, Daniel goes to sit next to the 26 year old. Running a hand over his face, Max’s sighs as he looks up. “I’m not…used to feeling this way, okay?”
“That’s totally fine, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat her like a piece of gum stuck at the bottom of your shoe. She’s amazing. Could have anyone - and I mean anyone - but she likes you. I don’t know why or how, but she likes you.” Daniel scoots away when Max narrows his eyes.
“She doesn’t like me.”
Jumping over the coffee table, Lando plops down. “Yes! She does. Ask me how I know.” A bored expression slashes Max’s face as he asks anyway. How, Lando? How do you know? “Because she’s always fighting with you.”
Daniel clicks his tongue as he slowly squints his brown eyes. “I don’t think you’re making the point you think you’re making, mate.” The Brit waves him off.
“I’m dead serious. When she gets upset, she always walks away because she claims to not want to waste her time on stupid arguments. But with you,” he pushes his index finger against the Red Bull polo, “With you she never - ever - walks away. Sure, you’re both at each others throats, but that only means one thing.” He leans against the sofa as he takes a sip of the open energy drink.
“She doesn’t mind wasting time on you.”
-
After some more convincing, the duo had managed to raise the 26 year olds confidence. They could be wrong. Embarrassingly wrong, but how would he ever know if he never tried? Taking in a deep breath, he finds himself knocking on your door.
“More soup?”
Sheepishly, he shakes his head. His heart skips a beat as he notices how laid back you seem. How relaxed you were. He was going to ruin all that. He was going to say something that would change everything and things might never be the sa-
“Wanna come in?”
Handing him a plate of cut up watermelon, you take a seat in front of him, legs tucked beneath your butt. What are you doing out so late at night, Mr. Max Verstappen? He sets the plate down as he forces himself to mold into his chair.
“I’ve never hated you.”
You blink. Clearing his throat, he looks down to his lap as he fiddles his fingers. “I know I’ve been such a bad teammate - I know - but I promise that it never had to do with you.”
“Okay. So…then what did it have to do with?”
He lets out a croaky laugh as he shuts his eyes. “That’s the tough part…” Opening his blue eyes, he finds you staring back, waiting for an answer. “I feel the opposite of hate…towards you.” He hates the way your face doesn’t change and you remain still. He hates when you shrink back and chew on your lip.
But he could never find himself hating the moment you climb onto his lap.
“T-that’s not what I came here for-”
“I know.” You slide your hands against his stubble. “Your confession was…adorable. Had trouble saying those words out loud, right? Because you,” you strum your finger against his chest, “...You don’t have feelings. You don’t have a heart.”
Now he’s frowning as he tries to unravel your words. A giggle bubbles up your throat, eyes crinkling shut. His breath hitches. “I feel things…” Your heart twirls with the way his voice sounds. Sure you do, Maxie-
Grabbing your face with his left hand, he kisses you. It’s hot, feverish, and impatient.
It’s him.
Whimpering, you grind against him as he groans underneath you. Forcing himself to pull away from your warm lips, he cocks his head to the side. “Was that enough proof?”
“I might need more.”
It’s such a moment of pure adrenaline, that you can’t even pinpoint the moment your hatred towards him had turned into lust. All you know is that it felt so good to be riding him. Squeezing your hips, he lifts you up as he lets out a strained moan. The sound itself makes you drip even more.
You had always loved his voice. How croaky it was. But you never imagined that it would turn your entire world upside down to hear him moaning your name like a prayer. Oh, fuck. Holy shit. Pushing his hands down, he opens his eyes as he looks back, weak and concerned. He worries you might have suddenly regretted all of this. That you would walk away and never want to talk to him ever again. But he’s already kissed you. He’s already been inside of you.
He would beg you to stay in order to make you keep it that way.
“B-baby.” He whimpers with the way you dig yourself against him before circling your hips. Slow. “It’s okay if you want to stop-” You slide his fingers into your mouth. He swears he could finish with such a pretty sight.
“I don’t want to. I just want you to say sorry for everything you’ve ever done to me.”
“I already said I never meant any of it! You’re absolutely everything to me.”
Your core grows tighter with his affirmations. Holding onto his broad shoulders, you continue your sinister rhythm. “Maybe. But I still want one.”
“I’m so-”
Rubbing your bare tits against his chest, he shudders as he harshly pinches your thigh. Try again. “I said I’m so-” Pulling all the way out, you slide back down onto his cock. “Oh - don’t fucking do that.”
“Try again.”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry.”
A satisfied smile slides onto your plump lips as you nod before kissing him and riding him the way you know he deserves. With one last hop, you both finish as he moans into your neck. Your fingers push his sweaty, blondish strands away before pressing your lips against his cheek. He smiles weakly.
“I like you, too.” You look down before returning your attention. “But I can’t be with you.”
“Wh-”
“Max. Let’s be realistic here. I’m a girl in Formula 1. You don’t know how hard I’ve worked to get here. I’ve had to do twice the work simply because I’m not a man.” You roll your eyes. “People are going to hate me. Call me names - God, I can already hear them.”
He never thought his heart could actually hurt for someone. You were really messing him up. He gingerly rubs small circles against your cheek.
“I’ll ruin whoever says anything bad about you, but please give this a chance. I’ve never wanted someone as bad as I do you. Please.”
And yes, there will be nasty comments. Hateful interpretations about your relationship. But that never really mattered as long as you had him.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#max verstappen drabble#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smut#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagines#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc drabble#carlos sainz imagines#carlos sainz smut#carlos sainz imagine#max verstappen#lando norris smut#lando norris#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo smut#f1 x female reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fluff#charles leclerc fluff#carlos sainz fluff#lando norris fluff#daniel ricciardo fluff#max verstappen fanfic#charles leclerc fanfic
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I think you mean
Annabeth: You dumb mother fucker
Percy: You know it all bitch
Annabeth using the nickname “Seaweed Brain” is great on its own, but it’s made so much funnier by the fact that Percy’s nickname for her is “Wise Girl." Like Annabeth’s over her with “You’re a bit of an idiot sometimes,” and all Percy can think up to match the energy is “Well, you’re smart as hell!” He’s really so whipped for her; it’s a miracle he didn’t figure it out sooner.
#proceeds to kiss#enemies to friends to best friends to lovers pipe line#they are enemies for like 5 chapters and then literally becomes allies to friends in one book#annabeth is kinda mean to Percy#like she got her mama#beef and pride#and he’s loyal to a fault#she’s was mean to him and not a bully and he fell in love#percabeth#the only couple ever#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackon and the olympians#camp half blood#pjo#pjo series#pjo hoo toa
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Namgyu hcs namgyu hcss, there's almost nothing about him😭😭😭 and I got such a love-hate relationship with this guy so it would be cool something like love-hate related? Maybe headcanons or whatever you like where namgyu and reader aren't even a couple but it's like a hot and cold thing, teasing each other all the time..? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT LMAOOO But yk yk, let your mind flow, it can be nsfw too, however you see fitting!
sorry if this isn’t quite what you wanted lovely, thank you for requesting ♡ afab!reader. not yet proofread!!
fwb!namgyu who never fails to get on your last nerve. He also never fails to milk your gooey little pussy dry. He isn’t your friend- he also isn’t your enemy, but he certainly isn’t your lover.
fwb!namgyu who (lightly) smacks the back of your head whenever he’s behind you purely to annoy you, and totally not to feel the softness of your hands on his chest as you push him away, muttering curses. He hopes you don’t seem to notice the hearts in his eyes, his soft irises suddenly enlarging. You don’t need to see his small grin as he walks off, either.
Constantly going back and forth with fwb!namgyu until he’s pushing you against the wall before you can clock it, his soft lips massaging your own in a sloppy spell, like he’s trying to claim you as his own. Fuck it. You slip a hand into his hair, tangling your fingers between loose strands with a delicious pull that has him- was that a moan? Fuck it. Once can’t hurt.
fwb!namgyu whose got you bent on your bed, back arching in a position that you didn’t know was even possible for you until now. Hips smacking into your own roughly, animalistic grunts filling your ears. A firm hand wrapped around your hair, the pulls adorning your whines as he caresses and cradles that messy sweet spot as he’s balls deep within you. Your face pressed onto the sheets, your overstimulated tears rolling onto the pillow.
It was never just once. After that fateful night it was practically impossible to keep your hands off of each other. Soft touches in the hallway and if you blinked you would’ve missed it, to more obvious things like a loud, breathy kiss the second you open the door and let him in, his limbs intertwining with your own.
fwb!namgyu who used to send you up? messages to you in the middle of the night (hinting that he’s down to fuck) before getting an ounce of dignity. Now, it’s can i come see u?
fwb!namgyu who knows he’s fucked when his mind can’t even imagine teasing you anymore. fwb!namgyu who stays up late at night with your pretty grin wngrained into his mind, the way your eyes curl as he makes you laugh. And then he’s imagining the way your lip curled into a small that one time, and he’s disgusted with himself that he ever let that pretty smile fade. He rolls over to emerge himself into the covers, in hopes of silencing thoughts of you.
fwb!namgyu whose heart drops when you phone him in the middle of one night, the crackle of your shitty network not failing to hide the heart wrenching sobs of yours that had his stomach twisting uncomfortably, his hands itching uncontrollably.
And instantly he’s driving to you before he can stop it, before you can say anything else, his hands gripping the wheel oh so tight, but he can’t even feel it, he can’t even think of anything but you. He’s never done this for a girl before. He’s never done this for you. fwb!namgyu, who’s pretty brown eyes are filled with worry as you let him in, instantly engulfing your sorrow filled frame in a tight embrace.
fwb!namgyu whose heart lets you cry in his arms and whispers pretty words of reassurance to you, a different Namgyu that you knew. A Namgyu that you could grow to…love?
fwb!namgyu who doesn’t seem to annoy you anymore. The same Namgyu whose presence you learn to yearn for. fwb!namgyu who never fails to provide you with flowers whenever he visits. Namgyu who doesn’t visit only for sex anymore, but for movie nights, dinner dates, and things he once deemed before as all too romantic. fwb!namgyu who wants it all, with you.
boyfriend!namgyu whos fucking making love to you so delicately, so softly, so in love, so different from how it was before. boyfriend!namgyu whose got you in missionary, his hair tickling against your neck, his face coming down to your neck, his pretty pink lips adorning your neck. So loving.
Boyfriend!namgyu whose making you take him deeeeep, peppering your face with kisses and shushing your whimpers and whines and moans with i know, I know, shh… His pretty cock filling you to the brim, like the puzzle peice you’ve being missing your whole life.
Boyfriend!namgyu who wakes you up with the smell of coffee and orange juice, your naked body cascaded and hidden like a prize under the soft silk of your duvet, a fullfilled smile hanging lazily on your lips, and the remnant of his kisses. He’ll just have to replace those memories with new ones.
#namgyu x reader#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu#squid game 2#squid game smut#squid game x reader#player 124#player 230#player 388#dae ho squid game#dae ho x reader
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Paws and Claws
✩ logan howlett/wolverine x curvyf!reader | smut | 6k
SUMMARY | Your dog Bert accidentally knocks up Dogpool which leads to a meet cute with an angry Wolverine.
WARNINGS | Meet cute (but make it intense) kinda enemies, to friends to lovers, mutual yearning, daddy wolverine, flirting, mutual yearning, immature humour, oral sex, swallowing, fingering, piv s*x, what refractory period? we die like men, You know he talks you through it.
RATING | Explicit
NOTES | Okay so this is my first ever Tumblr spicy oneshot, soooo thoughts and feedback are so welcome. Enjoy my loves <3
“You,” he snarled, teeth bared as he thrust what could only be described as a pot-bellied gremlin toward your face.
“Me?” you splutter, glancing between the feral-looking man in front of you and the small creature he held in his hands.
“Yeah! You’ve got some audacity coming back here after what you’ve done,” he spat, gesturing around the park while transferring the small creature to his large bicep, cradling it against his impressively muscular chest.
The ‘here’ he was referring to was your local park, currently hosting its weekly ‘Social Snout Society.’ You had moved for work, and the event seemed like a great way to meet fellow dog owners.
And in a way, it had. You’d made friends with. many of the regulars and had grown your social circle considerably. There was the sweet young couple who kept trying to set you up with their ‘friend,’ and the lovely old lady, Barbara, who always offered your dog peanut butter-filled treats.
But then, there was him. The one person you couldn’t quite figure out. He was always standing off to the side, averse to socialising, with his thick arms crossed over a plaid shirt as he watched the dogs run around. There was something about his presence—an air of brooding mystery—that made it hard to ignore him. You’d caught yourself staring a few times—how could you not? He was handsome in a rugged, roguish Clint Eastwood sort of way. But more than that, he was The Wolverine. Yes, that Wolverine—the legendary superhero from the X-Men who fought bad guys and saved the world.
Each time he caught you looking, you quickly glanced away, your face turning a brilliant shade of red as you desperately tried to distract yourself by calling your dog over.
You had pegged him as the type who would own a large, intimidating dog—a mastiff, a rottweiler, or maybe a German shepherd. So, when the social was winding down and you saw a tiny Pugese bounding over to him, you couldn’t believe your eyes. The little dog, all stubby legs and wrinkled face, leaped into the gruff man’s arms with surprising agility. Its long tongue lolled out, swiping affectionately at his mutton chops as he caught it effortlessly. The sight of this fierce-looking man cradling such a small, adorable dog was almost too much to process, and you had to stifle a laugh at the unexpected contrast.
“What’s going on?” you finally manage to ask, your voice shaky as you look at the small creature nestled against his chest.
“Listen, bub, this clueless act ain’t gonna cut it with me. You can see what you’ve done,” he said, his voice rough like gravel. He adjusted his grip on the little dog, gently supporting its neck and bum as he sat it up slightly. You leaned in, taking in the wide brown eyes that blinked up at you as the dog gave a quick yawn, shifting in the man’s arms. Its little red leather outfit was twisted slightly around its body, looking snugger than usual.
“This—” he growled, nodding toward the Pugese, “is Mary. And thanks to your sausage, she’s gonna have puppies!”
You blink in confusion. “My—wait, Bert? You’re talking about Bert?”
“Who else?” he huffed, his intense gaze locking onto yours. “Your daschund knocked up my dog!”
As if summoned, Bert appeared between your legs, huffing loudly from his sprint back from Barbara, a smudge of peanut butter on his lips. He looked up at you and the angry man with a proud expression, oblivious to the chaos he had caused.
“Bert?” you repeat incredulously, trying to process the information. “But… but I swear he’s been fixed!”
“Yeah, well, he figured it out somehow,” the man muttered, still fuming. “Found out today at the vet—Mary’s knocked up, thanks to him”
You glanced at the small dog again and noticed how her little pot belly did seem more rotund than usual. She was happily wagging her curly tail, completely unaware of the drama unfolding.
“Oh my god,” you whisper, covering your mouth as you look at the little Pugese. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea…”
“Neither did I!” he retorts, though his tone softens slightly as he sees the genuine surprise and concern in your eyes. “I mean, Mary is the last dog I’d expect to end up pregnant. She’s never even shown interest in other dogs.”
You can’t help but let out a small laugh, the absurdity of the situation dawning on you. Of all the things I expected today, getting chewed out by a grumpy, muscle-bound guy over a pregnant dog wasn’t one of them.
“How do you even know it was him? There are hundreds of dogs around here”
He huffed as if appalled you would even ask that.
“How could it not be him, I’ve seen him - sniffing around her” he spat.
You side eyed Bert who had the audacity to flop on his back for a belly rub. It sounded exactly like him to your dismay.
“I honestly don’t know what to say except sorry” you finally manage wincing as Bert let out a long whine at being ignored.
“Just… keep an eye on your little Casanova,” he grumbled, rubbing Mary’s head. “We’re in this together now, whether we like it or not.”
“I really am sorry,” you say, reaching down to scoop up Bert, who was sniffing at the man’s shoes. Holding his little sausage body in one hand, you thrust a hand forward toward the man. “I’m Y/N. You’ve met Bert.”
The man eyed your hand for a second before clasping it in his own large one. “Logan,” he spoke, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine.
“Listen, don’t worry. Bert won’t be an absent father. I’ll step up—I mean, he’ll step up—well, I suppose we’ll be there for you.”
“Uh huh.”
“And Mary, of course. Listen, I’m a girls’ girl, and the last thing I would do is—” You freeze as you realise you’re still gripping Logan’s large hand and shaking it like you’re sealing the most important business deal of your life. Quickly releasing his hand as if it were on fire, you take a step back and stare at the grass in embarrassment.
Taking a deep breath, you looked up and tried not to get lost in his warm brown eyes. “Listen, can you give me your number or something so you can keep me updated?” You asked, shifting Bert on your arm.
“I don’t have a phone,” he said awkwardly.
“Right,” you responded, feeling mortified. It seemed clear he wanted nothing to do with you.
“Okay, well, I’ll be around if you need me,” you said dejectedly. With twenty minutes left of the social, you just wanted to escape the awkwardness.
Before he could respond, you turned away and left the park, your ears burning red with embarrassment as Bert gently gnawed at your fingers.
You didn’t see Logan again, a couple of weeks had passed since the man had confronted you about Bert’s promiscuous behaviour so you were surprised to find a bright pink envelope on your floor when you arrived home from work.
🎉🐶 PAW-TEE ALERT! 🐶🎉 Hey there, Fur-tastic Friends! Guess what time it is? It’s time to celebrate the most adorable, waggliest, and undeniably cutest thing in the universe—PUPPIES! Yep, you heard me right. Wade is throwing the ultimate Puppy Shower and you’re on the VIP list. 🎉 Come dressed in your finest puppy-themed attire or don’t—either way, you’ll look fetching! 🐾 Please bring a treat for Mary, our star-of-the-show, and no, we’re not talking about your grandma’s fruitcake. 🍪 If you can’t make it, don’t worry. I’ll be sure to send you a selfie of me and Logan covered in puppy slobber. 📸 RSVP: Hit me up with your best bark or, if you’re feeling fancy, just send a text to [Contact Information Here]. Either way, let me know if you’re coming so we can prepare an appropriately excessive amount of dog treats and possibly a few questionable dog costumes. Pawsitively Excited, Wade & Logan xoxoxo P.S. If you think this is just a ploy to get free snacks and a chance to see Logan out of his grumpy shell, you might be right. But you’ll also be helping celebrate the imminent arrival of tiny, adorable puppies!
“Wade?” You murmured, running your finger over the red glitter hearts on the page. It made sense why Logan wasn’t single; he was undeniably gorgeous. But your brows furrowed as you tried to recall whether you had given Logan your address.
Glancing at Bert, who was sitting in front of his empty bowl and giving you a reproachful look, you sighed. “Time to step up, buddy.” You spoke to Bert, who huffed slightly in agreement and continued to paw at his dish.
When you arrived at Wade’s flat, you were surprised to realise it was only a few streets away from your own place. Bert whined softly as you lingered outside the door, feeling the weight of nerves flutter in your stomach. You could hear voices and music drifting from inside. Glancing down at your dog, you took a deep breath before rapping your knuckles on the door.
The door swung open almost immediately, revealing a tall man covered in a patchwork of scars. His expression was animated, and before you could say anything, he flashed a blinding smile.
“You must be Y/N! Come in, come in!” he greeted, his voice brimming with enthusiasm as he ushered you and Bert inside.
“Thanks,” you replied, stepping into the cosy flat and carefully setting your wet umbrella near a pile of shoes and coats. Wade gave you a friendly hug as you shrugged off your raincoat, leaving you momentarily startled.
“It’s great to finally meet you!” Wade said, his tone warm and welcoming.
“You too! And, er, sorry again about the whole… getting your dog pregnant,” you replied, feeling a bit awkward.
“Pshhh, don’t worry about it! Our little Puppins is 90% G-spot, it was bound to happen sooner or later, the little tease,” Wade jokes, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“Oh-oka—wait, Puppins?” you asked, trying to keep up with the rapid-fire conversation.
“Yeah, Mary—Mary Puppins,” Wade clarified with a wide grin, clearly proud of the clever name.
“Ah, now Bert’s name is starting to make sense,” you mused, the pieces finally clicking together in your mind.
“Yep, it’s very on-brand,” Wade replied, a mischievous glint in his eye as he let his thoughts wander for a moment. He shook his head slightly, snapping back to the present. “Anyway,” he continued, his tone shifting to one of exaggerated seriousness, “where is our little absent father?”
You glanced down, spotting Bert near your feet, his little tail wagging as if he understood that the spotlight was now on him. Bending down, you scooped up the dachshund, who was proudly sporting a tiny yellow bow tie, and handed him over to Wade.
“There he is!” Wade cooed, holding Bert up like a prized possession. “Someone went out for milk these past two weeks, huh? Poor Wolvy has been looking for your mama,” he added with a wink, turning to lead you both into the lounge.
Wade marched into the room, lifting Bert high above his head in a dramatic gesture. “Everyone, I present to you the baby daddy!” Wade declared with flair, holding Bert up like Simba in The Lion King. The room erupted in laughter and applause as the small group gathered around, showering Bert with attention and affection.
But then your attention shifted to your usual target, who was brooding near the kitchen, lingering near some red velvet cupcakes. You moved closer, your heart pounding as you took in his form that seemed to take up most of the kitchen.
“Hey, how’s it going?” you asked, reaching past him to grab a cupcake. His dark eyes flicked up to meet yours, searching your face for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders.
“Yeah, alright. How’s it going with you?” he replied, his voice low and gravelly.
“Good, great actually. Bert hasn’t gotten any other dogs pregnant,” you joked lightly, trying to ease the tension.
“That’s good,” Logan replied, his tone a bit flat.
“You know what blokes are like, only thinking of one thing,” you blurted out without thinking, immediately regretting the words as they left your mouth.
Logan raised a brow at you, his expression unreadable. “That right?”
You swallowed hard, suddenly feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. To avoid saying anything else, you took a bite out of the cupcake. The texture was unexpectedly tough, and you found yourself chewing more vigorously than you’d anticipated.
Logan’s gaze remained fixed on you, his eyes narrowing slightly. After a moment, he reached out and gently wiped the corner of your mouth with his thumb, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you.
“There was some icing,” he murmured, his voice suddenly softer, more of a rumble than his usual biting growl.
“Thanks,” you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper as your heart pounded in your chest.
He held your gaze a moment longer, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “You know, that’s for dogs, right?”
Your eyes widened in horror as you looked down at the half-eaten cupcake in your hand. “What?”
“Wade’s idea of a joke,” Logan explained, clearly amused by your reaction. “He put them out with the regular food to mess with people.”
You felt your face flush with embarrassment. “Oh my god…” you whispered, just before gagging as the aftertaste of beef hit your tongue. “Oh no, that’s disgusting!” you spluttered, wiping your mouth furiously as you tried to rid yourself of the flavour.
“Don’t worry, you’re not the first one he’s tricked,” Logan said, his smirk widening into a grin. You were momentarily taken aback, surprised by how the smile transformed his face, softening his usual stern expression and making him look years younger.
You couldn’t help but laugh, the absurdity of the situation dawning on you as your cheeks flushed a tomato hue.
“Don’t worry, you’re not the first one he’s tricked,” Logan said, his smirk widening into a genuine grin that took you by surprise. The smile lit up his face, making him look years younger, almost boyish.
You couldn’t help but laugh, the absurdity of the situation finally hitting you as your cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. “Well, I guess it’s fitting. Bert and I are just full of surprises.”
“Seems that way,” Logan replied, his tone now more relaxed, a subtle hint of flirtation lacing his words. His eyes held yours, and for a brief moment, the air between you felt charged with an unspoken connection.
“Maybe you’re not so bad after all,” he grumbled, the corners of his lips twitching upward.
“Maybe not,” you teased back, feeling a nervous flutter in your stomach. The intensity of his gaze made it hard to think straight, and you wondered if he could hear your heart racing.
Logan’s nostrils flared slightly, as if he were picking up on the tension between you. But before anything more could happen, Wade’s voice broke the moment.
“Ooh, this looks all cosy, doesn’t it, Wolvy?” Wade chirped smugly, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he took in the lack of space between the two of you.
“Fuck off,” Logan muttered, his jaw clenching as he shot Wade a glare.
“Spicy, this one isn’t he? Muy, muy caliente,” Wade ribbed, his grin widening as he revelled in the discomfort he was causing.
You glanced down to see Logan clenching his whisky glass tightly, a small hairline crack forming in the glass, his expression one of barely contained irritation.
“Could you pass me the little tux behind you?” Wade asked, clearly enjoying himself.
Logan turned around quickly, grabbed the small tux, and tossed it at the scarred man without a word.
“Thanks, Peanut,” Wade winked before chasing after Bert with a mischievous glint in his eye.
As you watched Wade prance off, you noticed the pained expression on Logan’s face. Trying to smooth over the situation, you decided to make conversation.
“So… how long have you two been together?” you asked, your tone light but genuinely curious.
Logan, who had just taken a swig of his whisky nearly choked, sputtering slightly as he wiped away the spilled liquid with a large hand. “What?” he spat, clearly taken aback.
You blinked slowly, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment. “Oh, sorry—I shouldn’t have presumed.”
“Listen, we aren’t together,” Logan clarified, his voice firm, though there was a hint of something more beneath the surface.
“Oh… right,” you stammered, feeling your cheeks heat up again. “Sorry, I just… assumed.”
Logan shook his head, exhaling out of his nose “We just live together while I look for a new place.”
“Got it,” you replied, feeling both relieved and a little silly for jumping to conclusions. The tension between you eased slightly, though you couldn’t help but notice the way Logan’s gaze lingered on you just a moment longer than necessary.
You were soon swept into a whirlwind of party games organised by Wade, each one more spirited than the last. During the festivities, you met their third roommate, known as "Blind Al," though you quickly insisted on simply calling her Al. You chatted to their other friends too, laughing at some of their wild stories until your stomach got a stitch and your jaw ached.
As the evening wore on, the sky outside grew darker and darker, the stars twinkling faintly in the chilly night air. Feeling the onset of sleepiness, you decided it was time to head home. Logan, having observed your growing fatigue, volunteered to walk you back. At first, you insisted it wasn’t necessary, pointing out that you had Bert with you.
Logan, however, let out a dismissive snort at the sight of your chunky dachshund, who was currently curled up and snoozing with half his face buried in a muffin. “Seriously, you’re letting this guy be your bodyguard?” Logan remarked with a smirk.
You sighed at the sight of Bert’s icing coated snout and, realising Logan’s offer was genuine, you conceded. “Alright, if you insist.”
With that, you both left the warm, lively flat, stepping out into the crisp night air as Logan guided you through the quiet streets toward your home. The walk was peaceful, the cool night air brushing against your skin, and the occasional rustle of leaves the only sound in the quiet neighbourhood.
When you reached your door, you lingered for a moment, cracking it open just enough for Bert to scamper inside and head straight to his bed, exhausted from the day’s excitement.
“Thanks for today. I really like your friends,” you said with a grin, noticing the unexpected softness in Logan’s eyes—a stark contrast to your initial meeting.
“Just my friends, huh?” he teased, a small smile appearing on his lips.
“Oh yes, I suppose Mary is lovely too,” you teased back, looking up at him with a soft smile. The warmth between you was palpable, his large frame nearly filling your small hallway, making the space feel even more intimate. You could hear the faint buzz of your neighbours’ TV through the walls, a reminder of the world continuing on around you, yet in this moment, it felt like it was just the two of you.
Logan’s gaze held yours for a beat longer, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a fleeting second before he straightened up, breaking the tension just enough to breathe again. “Get some rest,” he murmured, his voice low and slightly rough. “It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. “Goodnight, Logan.”
“Goodnight,” he replied, his voice softening.
As he turned to leave, you felt a sudden tug in your chest, an impulse you couldn't quite suppress. Before you knew it, you were calling out to him.
"Logan, wait."
He stopped and turned back to face you, his expression unreadable in the dim light of the hallway. The air between you crackled with an unspoken tension that had been simmering all evening. You took a small step closer, closing the gap between you.
"Today was... nice," you said, your voice almost a whisper now, "and I don’t really want it to end."
Logan’s eyes darkened slightly, the playful banter from earlier replaced by something much more intense. He took a step closer, his presence overwhelming in the small space of your hallway. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the scent of him—something warm and earthy—filling your senses.
“It doesn’t have to,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly, sending a shiver down your spine.
Your breath hitched as you looked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this charged moment. Without thinking, you reached up, your fingers lightly brushing against the stubble on his jaw. Logan’s breath caught at the touch, his eyes never leaving yours.
In that instant, the tension snapped. Logan closed the distance between you in one swift motion, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both fierce and tender, as if he had been holding himself back. His hands found your waist, pulling you flush against him as the kiss deepened, your heart racing as you responded with equal fervour.
The world around you blurred as all your senses focused on the feel of his lips, the strength of his arms around you, the roughness of his stubble against your skin. It was intoxicating, the way he kissed you—like he was claiming you, yet with a surprising gentleness that made your knees go weak.
You felt the arms round your waist pull you closer to his solid body, causing you to whimper and him to slip a tongue gently into your mouth.
You broke apart just enough to catch your breath, your foreheads resting against each other as you both struggled to steady your breathing. Logan’s hands were still on your waist, his grip firm yet comforting, grounding you as you struggled to level your breathing.
“Come inside,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as your hand slid from his jaw to rest against his chest, feeling the strong, steady beat of his heart beneath your palm.
Logan hesitated for a brief moment, his eyes searching yours as if trying to read what you truly wanted. Whatever he saw there must have reassured him because he nodded slightly, the corner of his mouth lifting in a faint, almost teasing smile.
“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’d like that.”
You stepped back, pulling him gently inside your flat, closing the door behind him. The click of the lock sounded louder in the quiet of your home. The cosiness of the small space wrapped around you both, the warmth and intimacy of it only heightening the tension that hummed between you.
You took his hand, guiding him deeper into the flat, past the soft glowing lamps outside and Bert who was already snoring softly in his bed, oblivious to the charged atmosphere filling the room.
Logan’s gaze was intense as he followed you, his hand warm and reassuring in yours. When you reached your bedroom, you turned to face him again, your heart in your throat as you searched his face, wondering if this was really happening.
Logan’s hand cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin with a tenderness that sent another shiver through you. He leaned in again, capturing your lips in another kiss, slower this time, savouring each moment. Your arms wound around his neck, pulling him closer, the feel of his solid frame against yours grounding you even as your head spun.
Without breaking the kiss, Logan’s hands slid from your waist to your hips, pulling you flush against him as he walked you backward toward the bed. You went willingly, your heart pounding with anticipation and need, the heat between you building with every passing second.
When the back of your knees hit the mattress, you sank down onto the duvet, pulling Logan with you. He followed without hesitation, his body covering yours as you both tumbled onto the bed, the kiss never breaking, never slowing.
You tangled your fingers in his hair, marvelling at the feel of him—so strong, so present, so overwhelmingly real. Logan groaned softly against your lips, the sound sending a thrill through you as his hands began to explore, tracing the curves of your body as if committing them to memory.
You arched into his touch, a soft sigh escaping your lips as he kissed his way down your neck, his stubble grazing your skin in the most delicious way. The sensation was electrifying as you gulped back another whimper as his tongue slipped back into your mouth, tasting the whisky on his lips.
As he slowly begins to undress you, You feel an overwhelming sense of vulnerability as he unzips your last article of clothing and pulls your skirt down. Sensing you freezing he stops.
“Hey, where did you go bub?” He whispers, pulling back to meet your eyes.
“It’s just, er, been a while and I've put on a bit of weight recently” you mumbled, unable to hold his gaze.
Logan paused, his hands gently resting on your hips as he looked at you, his brow furrowing with concern. The intensity of the moment faded slightly as he took in your words, understanding the vulnerability you were feeling. He tilted your chin up softly, urging you to meet his gaze.
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice filled with a tenderness that surprised you. “You don’t have to hide from me. You’re beautiful, just the way you are.”
You felt your breath catch in your throat, the sincerity in his words sinking in. It had been so long since anyone had looked at you like this, let alone made you feel beautiful. Logan’s eyes were full of warmth, no judgement or hesitation, just blown pupils and an open gaze that made your chest tighten and your panties soak.
He gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch feather-light. “You’re perfect, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice a deep rumble that resonated through you. “Every inch of you.”
His words were like a balm, easing the anxiety that had been bubbling beneath the surface. You could feel the heat of his body against yours, the way his hands held you with such care.
“Logan…” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly.
The sincerity in his voice was undeniable, grounding you in the moment. You felt the tension in your body slowly melt away, replaced by a warmth that spread through your chest, as your heart started to race with excitement rather than fear.
You took a deep breath, letting the anxiety flow out with the exhale, and nodded slightly. “I just… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way.”
Logan’s expression softened further, his gaze never leaving yours. “I get that,” he said, his voice low and reassuring. “But you don’t have to worry, not with me. I’m here, and I see you. All of you.”
He kissed you again, slower this time, with a tenderness that made your heart ache. His hands moved with reverence, as if he was rediscovering every part of you, appreciating each touch, each breath, as if it was a gift.
Logan pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his expression one of quiet reverence. “You’re beautiful, Y/N, but if you want to stop I will respect that, what do you want?”
“No I want this, I want you Logan.” You whispered, biting your lip.
He leaned forward to kiss you again before pulling away your skirt and panties. He groaned at the sight of you glistening and swollen. “God you are incredible sweetheart” he groaned before leaning down.
“I wha-” You started before cutting yourself with a loud moan as he swiped over your clit.
He drank from you like a man without water. The silence of the room is broken by the sound of his slurping and suckling. “I’ve been smelling you for weeks and you taste even sweeter than I imagined’ he whispered against you.
Unable to answer him you continued to pant as he greedily ate you out. Grunting like an animal, his oral could only be described as animalistic as he pushed you towards that high. It was only when he added two thick fingers did you begin to wail as the stimulation overwhelmed you.
“That’s it sweetheart, I know, it’s okay, let go for me” He grunted as he continued to eat you out, the prickle of his beard between your thick thighs adding to the sensations as he rubbed his face into your pussy.
When he crooked his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion that hit that sweet spongy spot inside of you. Something snaps inside as you whimper his name and come panting and wiggling on his face.
As you came back to yourself you let out a whimper as you saw him smugly looking at you from between your thighs. Slowly rubbing you as you came down from your high.
Standing up, you have to resist the urge to whine at the lack of fullness you feel and spy him suck his glistening fingers. As Logan swiftly removed his clothes, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him—his body was beautiful, all toned muscle and solid mass, every muscle defined and glistening under the soft light. The intensity in his eyes never wavered as he tossed his shirt aside, revealing the expanse of his toned chest.
He moved with purpose, crawling onto the bed towards you like a predator closing in on its prey, his movements slow and deliberate, each one making your pulse race. The heat between you was palpable, electrifying the air as he inched closer, his gaze locking onto yours with a hunger that sent a shiver down your spine.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, the sheer magnetism of his presence drawing you in, making you feel both excited and slightly nervous.
When he finally reached you, his large hands framed your face as he leaned down, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both fierce and gentle, full of the passion you had felt building between you all night.
“I’m on the pill” You blurted out as he pulled back and you watched as his pupils dilated wider.
“You sure bub?” he questioned.
You nodded fervently as a surge of confidence rushed through you and you pushed him back onto the mattress so you could climb on top of him. It really was unfair, he made it look so natural as he laid back on the duvet like a modern day adonis.
Logan cursed when you sank on top of him. It took a few moments for you to be fully seated. When you were, you took a slow and deep breath as you felt his entire length inside of you. You had never felt so full.
You wiggled your hips slightly as you tested the length of him inside you and his hands shot out to grip your soft hips.
“Just a second darlin’” He growled, his face looked strained as he held you in place.
“If i’m too heavy we can turn over” You spoke shyly conscious of how he seemed to grip tightly at your hips.
He chuckled as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth “No, No, It’s not that darlin’ you’re just so tight” He muttered before starting to thrust at you.
You bit back a moan as you rode him. Large hands guiding you up and down as you bounced up and down, his cock rearranging your insides to make room for him, all of him.
Leaning forward he took one of your nipples in his mouth and gently nibbled and sucked on it before moving on to the other one. You were unsure of how much time had passed but you soon found yourself coming on his cock.
Unlatching from your nipple his hands went to your ass, taking over moving you as you came down from your high. “That’s it, such a good girl taking all of me” he rumbled before flipping you over and pushing your knees back to your chest.
In this position he felt even deeper inside of you, stretching you out in the most delicious way and nudging the spongy wall of your cervix. “Logan” you whimpered as you pulled him forward to kiss his lips as he lazily thrust into you stoking the fire in your stomach again. Wrapping your ankles above the curve of his ass you dreamily sighed into his mouth as the taste of whisky hit your tongue.
Your skin was damp with sweat as you clung to him desperately as his thrusts built up again.
“Think you can give me another one darlin’?” he questioned after he broke away from your lips and started kissing down your neck nibbling as he went.
At this point you were on fire, legs numb and eyes rolling back into your head. You felt like he had taken everything from you, yet, as his fingers rubbed over your clit a spark shot through you as you keenly lifted your hips upwards to his barraging cock.
“That’s a good girl, gonna fill you up” He grunted, taking the hand that wasn’t rubbing your clit and pressing down on your abdomen to make the space inside you even tighter.
“Logan, I’m close” You whimpered at the stimulation. The sounds of his animalistic grunts and squelching filled the quiet room.
“That’s it darlin’ come all over this cock for me” he growled as you felt the air get stolen from your lungs as you spasmed around him, muscles pulling him in as deep as possible. Hips stuttering, Logan followed you into your release pumping you full of his thick spend. You could feel the heat of it filling you up as some of it leaked out of the sides of his cock, your body simply incapable of holding the sheer volume of it.
Rolling to the side he pulled you with him to lay on his chest as his cock stayed nestled deep inside of you twitching occasionally with the odd spurt, not quite finished filling you up. You hummed gently against his chest as his arms circled around you, warm and safe.
"You okay, bub?" Logan grumbled softly, his deep voice carrying a warmth that sent a wave of comfort through you. He gently smoothed a few stray strands of hair back from your face, his touch tender against your skin. You sighed happily, nestling into the solid warmth of his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear.
Tilting your head up to meet his gaze, you couldn’t help but smile. “I’m so glad Bert knocked up your dog,” you said, a playful grin tugging at your lips. The absurdity of the situation, which had once felt mad, now seemed like the best thing that had ever happened.
Logan’s eyes softened as he looked down at you, a chuckle rumbling through his chest. "Yeah, who would've thought?" he replied, the corners of his mouth lifting in a rare, genuine smile. He reached down, brushing a thumb gently across your cheek.
You shifted slightly and froze. Eyes widening in realisation at what was happening.
“Logan…are you still?”
“Let’s hit number four” he growled.
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#wolverine smut#logan howlett#james logan howlett x reader#xmen x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x f!reader#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine
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Baldur's Gate 3 X Innocent! Reader
Characters: Astarion Ancunin, Shadowheart, Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep, Lae'zel, Wyll Ravengard, Karlach and Halsin
Tags: friends to lovers, acquittances to lovers, in denial, overprotective, fluff, indirect kisses, Gale being Gale, fake love (until it's not), established relationship and innocence.
Warning: SFW. Light suggestive themes.
A/N: Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. No, I'm still in a chokehold-
Astarion Ancunin
“Well aren’t you just the cutest thing ever? I could just eat you right up, darling~.”
When he first met you, Astarion knew you were an easy target. A nice meal he could exploit, especially if you’re a virgin, and a great pawn for the road ahead. He would deliver sweet nothings to you in hopes of sleeping in your bed and drinking from the pure blood that coursed through your veins. But as time continued, as you showed how sweet you were, the pale elf found himself genuinely falling for you.
He wanted to protect you from the world around both of you and bite anyone who tried to hurt you. He’d even hesitate on feeding from you out of fear he’d hurt you or expose himself to your pained gasps. You were his precious jewel he couldn’t afford to be taken from him or tainted in any way. With everyone else, he’s still a flirtatious and snarky vampire spawn. But around you, he will always be a sweet man who wants to make sure you’re okay. His princess/prince… That being said, don’t expect him to stop flirting with you. He adores when you get flustered.
Shadowheart
“Stand behind me! I don’t want you to get hurt! Just do as I say, okay?!”
At first Shadowheart thought you weren’t real. That there was no way in the nine hells that there was someone as pure as you. She genuinely thought your personality was a charade. So she watched you carefully, waiting for you to show your true colors in the form of berating someone or betraying one of the campers. But you never did. You always stayed true to yourself.
When she realized that you were probably the most modest person in your motley crew, the Shar Worshipper became attracted to you. She spent more time with you and suddenly felt like she needed to take care of you along your adventure together. Similar to Astarion, Shadowheart tries to be ever so gentle with you, never using pain in bed and out of bed unless you approve of her actions when she asks for permission. It’s evident to everyone she cares deeply for you and wouldn’t mind spending her life with you.
Gale Dekarios
“It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen the embodiment of happiness. Who knew I would find that in you?”
You had Gale’s heart as soon as you said hi to him. It didn’t take long for this man to turn into putty around you nor to become friends with you. And he fell in love when you always gave him magical objects without hesitation. Asking him if he’s alright and stroking his head after he eats his weave? He was swooned. The closer you two became, the more the wizard would share his life with you like an open book and offer any kind of lesson in magic to you.
It didn’t take long for him to admit he had romantic feelings for you, leading to you to become a couple. At camp, he is a gentleman, always asking if you need anything in between kisses to your cheek and becoming bashful with you when you bless his ears with your giggles. Outside of camp, he’s focused on you, making sure no one lays a finger or spell on that cute head of yours. You bring the best out of Gale and make him the happiest man in all of the realms.
Lae’zel
“G’lyck. If you’re hurt, then go to the ghustil… Hurry up or I’ll drag you to her myself.”
You were a liability to Lae’zel. Always getting hurt? Never killing your enemies? Checking up on everyone over yourself? She wanted nothing more than to throw you to the wolves so you wouldn’t ruin the group’s odds of survival. She hated you with a flaming passion. She hated how you always asked if she was okay. How you always treated her wounds after a battle and dare to kiss her injuries better. How you cowered behind her during combat.. And especially how you made her heart flutter when you slept across from her by the campfire, watching your cute face in a state of peace…
If it was up to her, she’d kick you out of the camp for what you’ve done to her. She swears it. But for now? She guesses she’ll keep you around for a little longer. Besides, she knows without her you’d die out there. You need her and she needs you.
Wyll Ravengard
“Don’t fret now, I won’t let them lay a finger on you, not when the Blade of Frontiers is right by your side.”
Wyll always wanted to have a romance like fairy tales. Save a fair princess or prince from their troubles like a knight in shining armor while slaying dragons. To meet someone who was the sweetest thing alive and experience real happiness with them by his side. So when he met you, you can bet he felt like he won the jackpot! He found your bashful nature and careless personality to be a breath of fresh air, especially when he was punished by Mizora.
At first you were a great friend, but when you took care of him, polished his horns and always checked if he was alright after fights, true love sprung between you two. It didn’t take long for him to confess his feelings to you and take your hand as your boyfriend. From that day forward, he’s been your savior on and off the battlefield when he wasn’t your sweet lover that showered you in compliments and kisses. You are positive that with Wyll you are bound to have a happily ever after.
Karlach
“Aww, you’re so adorable I just wanna squish your cheeks and hug you forever!... I can?! Well, come here, you!”
It was love at first sight between you and Karlach. After you splashed her with water and made sure she was okay, the barbarian’s heart was in your hands. She was so used to meeting backstabbers, manipulators and liars that she wasn’t sure there were any good people left. But you proved her wrong and she was so happy you did. Because of you, she made it her sole mission to get infernal iron so she could touch you.
When she couldn’t, she would share indirect kisses with you using rocks and even gift you her teddy bear Clive when you couldn’t hold her. And when she finally was able to touch you, she held you as if her life depended on it. There isn’t a moment where you two are not touching in and out of camp. You make her feel alive again in more ways than one and to her you are her soulmate. She loves you so much and will do anything to make sure you know that.
Halsin
“If you were a part of nature’s divine design, then you are a pure ray of sunshine given by the Oak Father.”
Halsin immediately gave you his trust and respect when you saved him without a reason to. It didn’t help that he also found you to be adorable with how nervous you got around him and how you stuttered a bit. With how you were, the druid quickly grew an interest in you, wanting to be beside you and feel your skin against his. He loved how you were so considerate when he wild shaped, petting his head and playing with him effortlessly.
In the wilderness, you were something like his mate, always protected by foes and checked for injuries. If there were any, he would bandage them as quickly as he could and carry you the rest of the way back to camp. When everything was settled, he’d immediately cuddle you as himself or as a bear. You were perfect in every way to him and for that, he would be your sole protector no matter what.
If you got any requests for Baldur's Gate 3, send them my way!
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3
#baldur's gate 3 x reader#baldur's gate 3 x you#astarion x reader#shadowheart x reader#gale x reader#wyll x reader#lae'zel x reader#karlach x reader#halsin x reader#fluff headcanons#x male reader#x female reader#x innocent reader#i'm in a chokehold#requests are open#requests are welcome#requests are still open btw#x reader#fluff imagine#i had to do it to em
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I feel like you would do justice on this request the “I’ll be watching you trend” with rafe and y/n he’s always watching her even when there at the same party and she’s dancing her heart off and Rafe just watches her while other girls try to get his attention or his gf
Btw him and y/n broke up years ago because he was immature and needed help at the time so they didn’t work out and rafe let her go but she was always there for him
Or which ever story line you decided I don’t mind 💗
I’LL BE WATCHING:: Rafe Cameron
WARNING:: drinking & drug use, enemies to lovers, rough sex, begging, friends to enemies, make up sex, choking, arguing, mentions of overdosing, kook!reader.
SUMMARY:: after being broken up for almost two years it seems that Rafe is always at every public gathering and party and it’s really pissing you off.
A/N:: thank you so much for sending this request, and thank you for trusting in me to write this for you😭!
You were sick of the reoccurring bit you and Rafe had been putting on at every party on figure 8 for the past two years. Every party that you run into him always leaves you with a sinking pit of frustration in your stomach as the two of you got under each others skin. Always leaving early as you can feel his looming presence around you every time you enjoy yourself.
You don’t know what you hated more; the fact that he always had his eyes latched on you, or the fact that he thinks that you don’t notice it. The house that all the kids on figure 8 picked to trash for the night was Topper’s, an advent party thrower, and just so happened to be your ex’s friend.
Though you have had mutual friends before you and Rafe broke up and still without a doubt you both run into each other. And as the days past it seems like you can never stop running into him. And tonight was just another one of those run ins. The beach house was big and comfy, decorated like a hotel resort as the music echoed and vibrated the walls.
The dull smell of coke, weed, and alcohol made the air thick, the room was almost crowded wall to wall where the stereo was located, you and a couple of friends surround yourselves as the music plays you and your friends swaying and dancing against each other.
You were lost in the warm air, and the sheen of sweat that sticks to your skin, your brain was in a heavy haze due to you and couple friends hotboxing a bathroom you all found within the many rooms. You had exchanged glances with Rafe across the room plenty of times tonight, and it seemed like whatever girl was sitting on his arm tonight was getting absolutely no play.
“Rafe? Are you listening?” she tugged at his arm as she watches him snap his head towards her “what?” It came out snappy and it made the girl retract slightly “I was talking to you about that trip Kelce invited me to, are you coming?” She asks and if Rafe genuinely cared he would’ve looked in her eyes and seen the sparkle behind them as she waits for his answer.
But Rafe doesn’t care. He didn’t even know her name, he wasn’t drunk enough to deal with her at that. His eyes fighting to get another glance in of you but he couldn’t see you as the room shuffled with people moving around. “Yeah…I guess I’m going” he shrugs her off as he can distantly hear her little squeal of happiness.
The nasty feeling in the pit of Rafe’s stomach only growing bigger as the seconds go by not being able to find you within the crowd, he urned to see that smile on your face and the way you moved without a care in the world. He missed you. And he hated that it had been years since the two of you talked. He regretted the last thing he ever said to you, high out of his mind, rambling and crying as your patience had grown thin with his addiction.
The words ‘I hate you’ butter on his tongue when he spat them, and the second they fell out of his mouth was the moment he lost you, and he had never felt so empty, falling into a deeper pit of addiction before realizing that you wanted him alive and well, that you would rather be without him and urge him to do better rather than be together and find him one day laid out half alive in a puddle of his own vomit.
And Rafe took it as his sign to get help. He went away, he got off the island for a few months during the fall and cleaned himself up hoping that he’d come back and you’d be there and be proud of him. He needed you there, and when you weren’t he started sitting in every party he had heard you’d be in attendance for even going as far to ask Barry to keep a look out on you when he wasn’t around. Even in the same room Rafe could feel the tightening in his chest at the temporary hole that was in his heart when he couldn’t see you. Standing up on his own two feet feeling a surge of being purely sober he carried himself through the crowd.
If someone told you two years ago that you and Rafe were no longer on speaking terms and the sight of him could make your blood boil in all the wrong ways; you’d think they were lying. But the second you had turned away from your friends with a cup full of a mix your friend had made it splashed your skin sticking to your clothes as you crashed into someone else, a big wall of muscle as the persons large hand steady’s your body. You open your mouth to apologize but the second you meet the icy blue eyes of Rafe it dies down in the back of your throat making your eyebrows pinch together. “Great” you roll your eyes.
Rafe had spilled his drink all over your white top. You could see your bra through it by now and you were beyond pissed. "You're getting me a new one. And by getting me a new one I mean you're buying it" you snap as you set your drink on one of the coffee tables that had scattered beer bottles and ash trays.
Scoffing at your tone Rafe opens his mouth to speak "all of a sudden you can't ask your rich ass parents to buy you a new one? Daddy cut you off or something?" He says with full confidence and the intention to piss you off. "No, but since you're so invested in my life, why don't you invest in some good eyesight and find me a new shirt bastard" you snap.
Rafe had it up to this point, your smart mouth, your attitude, and simply the way you mouth off to him in-front of everyone to embarrass him. Snatching you by your arm he tugs you through the crowd of screaming and laughing people as they dance and sing along to whatever is playing. Dragging you upstairs and tugging you through the dimly lit hallways. You felt lost, your shirt was practically sticking to your skin and most likely staining it a deep shade of red as you can feel the liquid seeping through your bra. Rafe opens a bedroom door and pushes you through making you stumble over your shoes. Leaving the party behind without a care in the world. The loud slam of the door behind him makes you jump in shock.
Rafe drags himself to open one of the drawers of the dressers in the bedroom. "Are you seriously gonna steal someone else's shirt to opt out of buying me a new one?" You snark. "No, this is my room for the night, my shirt. If you want a new shirt so bad I'll buy you one" he grovels as he shovels through the folded clothes finding a random t-shirt he hadn't worn in a while and simply had forgotten about at the bottom of the pile. Tossing it without even looking at you, hitting you in the face earning a yelp from you.
Ripping the shirt out of your view and tossing it to the bed "you are so fucking intolerable I swear. It's been 2 years and you still have the nerve to act like I did something to you" your voice ripples through the room. "You did, 2 years of dirty looks and pissy comments yet you're acting like time hasn’t passed" he was heated beyond belief at this point. And the words almost give you whiplash.
“I beg your pardon? Time doesn’t erase how you treated me, Rafe. It doesn’t take back what you said and did. What the fuck did you think was going to happen when we eventually ran into each other?” You were riled up at this point, sure maybe here and there you made snappy comments about Rafe when you would see him, and maybe you did purposely say it loud enough for him to hear if he was around, but, that’s besides the point.
He was getting under your skin as much as you tried to get under his and it was really pissing you off. “I don’t know, maybe not like a spoiled fuck brat” he griped making your glare deepen with pure hatred. “I’m a spoiled fucking brat? Me? Says ‘king kook’ himself. By the way, how's that going for you? I heard you’ve been all wrapped up in that Pogue and kook beef…actually; you ran the whole operation” you snapped you were going right for the head, you wanted to hurt Rafe’s feelings more than he hurt yours at any cost.
And Rafe scoffs, not wanting to give you satisfaction “I’m clean y’know, I’m not…like that anymore” he mumbles and it makes your face soften immediately. “Why are you telling me that?” You straighten up, it was a weak spot in the armor you had built up over time, Rafe’s addiction was what drove you apart initially, but there were many more cracks in your relationship that weren’t a big priority. “Because I don’t want you to think that’s who you’re talking to right now. I got help.” He speaks feeling more sure in his words. “Cool…” and the second you say it so weakly it makes Rafe’s brows scrunch together and he looks at you, looking your most vulnerable and Rafe didn’t know the nasty feeling in his stomach clench.
“Cool…? That’s it? Two years and that’s it?” Rafe was flabbergasted, he did this for you, and you say it’s just..cool? Not gonna happen. “What do you want me to say Rafe? Do you want me to jump with joy, cry happy tears? What Rafe?” Your skin was burning, and you could feel the tremble in your lips as you stare at him.
“I did this for you! I got clean for you. That’s what you wanted and all you have to say is cool? You asked for this and I gave it to you y/n does that really mean nothing?” His tone is sharp enough to cut through you and loud enough to make your throat go dry, your words like a sword fight, the back and forth becoming more intense by the word. “It’s a bit late for that, no? We’re not together. You hate me, and you want nothing to do with me, does that ring any bells Rafe?”
You felt like the bile in your stomach would burn the back of your throat as you spoke the venomous words. And Rafe only shakes his head as he steps cautiously closer to you “that was stupid, and I know that. But does this really count for nothing?” His voice cracks as he gets on his knees as he looks up at you with those glassy ocean eyes that you used to love so much. His fist clenched as he lays them on both sides of your thighs and it makes your face flare in heat as tears cloud your eyes.
“Should it, Rafe? I don’t know a single thing about you anymore, the last thing you said to me was that you hated me, and that you never wanted to see me. What am I supposed to do? You hurt me, and pushed me away when all I wanted was for you to be healthy. Does that count for nothing? Just because you shaved your head and got clean doesn’t mean you’re all of a sudden in my good graces” you sigh heavily and Rafe can hear the tremble in your breath and he hates it.
“I’m sorry” he says just above a whisper and you catch it and it makes you shake your head “for what? Rafe? What are you sorry for? The way you left things, or thinking that I’d just run into your arms? Maybe it’s the way you watch me every time we’re conveniently near each other, maybe the way you didn’t notice, or all the times you’d get high on coke and let me see you like that. Which one? Tell me.” You urge as you let your tears fall and cool off the heated skin on your cheeks.
The salty tears immediately are wiped away as you watch him in frustration. “Tell me” your voice is weaker and it’s nothing like what you wanted. You didn’t want to be vulnerable and brought to tears over him, after months of you being apart and you hiding away on figure 8 in the confinements of your bedroom locked away from the world. Away from him. And Rafe knew that there was a shopping list of things to apologize for. “All of it, everything, I was the worst person back then, and I knew it and I was so caught up in everything else I didn’t even realize what I was doing and how much it affected you until it was too late…and I’m sorry” he let his tears of built of emotion slip through him.
“You chose drugs over us. And I put up with it until I saw you at rock bottom, I didn’t know if you would ever be who I loved again, but I had to save myself” you mumbled as you wiped away all the tears that continued to fall. “When you left, I fell deeper. And then I saw you again and it looked like you had moved on, happier without me, and I knew I wanted to get my shit together. You helped me get my shit together” he clutched the sheets and it made your eyes shut as you sigh and place your hand on the back of his head gently and take a deep breath.
“I’m glad you’re clean” whispers “even if we aren’t together” and the words sound sour when they reach the thick air of the room and it makes Rafe cup your wrist. “I watch you…because I was scared” the words are curt and it makes you stiffen “scared? Of what?” You were confused, If Rafe had worried for you then why had he not said a word. “I don’t even remember…I was always high, and I would watch you but eventually I got clean and it became a habit to just sit and watch you. Just to make sure you were safe, or just okay” his words made your brain melt, as you looked into his eyes, read from tears and his pupils are perfectly fine, nothing out of the ordinary.
“Even though I said I hate you, I’ve never meant it. I was hurt that you left when I needed you; but eventually I realized you were doing it for a good reason. And in a weird way I watched over you to make sure nothing ever happened to you” he mumbled as he leaned into your touch. The familiar feeling of your nails against his scalp made him relax as the feelings twisting him up would ease up. “To this day?” You ask and Rafe opens his mouth with hesitation before he finally speaks up “I still care about you, and I know it doesn’t look like it right now, but I will never stop caring about you” and that does it for you.
There was always a looming presence in your heart, a small space that had been lumped around in your chest, locked away in the depths that you had never acknowledged, the fact that there was still a part of Rafe that you cared for. You hated to admit it, to anyone no matter how close you were. But looking down at the buzzed blonde you felt that heavy lump in your chest breaking the locks and filling up with nothing but thoughts of Rafe,Rafe, Rafe.
No longer just a crack in your armor it was now a gaping hole, torn open and each time you heard his voice each piece falling apart. “I can’t just take your word for it. Saying it doesn’t prove it, words are just words until proven as a fact. How do I know I can trust what you say?” The lump in the back of your throat becomes more evident. “Let me prove it. Please? I waited two years, and I can spend the next a hundred years trying to get my point across. I don’t just want you to believe what I say, I need you to” his words like a match to the skin.
“Prove it. Show me I can trust you, and we can figure out what happens next” your voice is hesitant, and low but it gives Rafe a sense of relief. He pulls you in by your waist holding you tight with his head to your chest, as he’s reminded of the drink that spilled making him pull away. A sheen of wetness on his cheeks as they flared red with color he stands up and it makes you giggle as he makes a disgusted face wiping the alcohol from his face.
You grip the hem of your shirt pulling it off without a second thought, and you pause for a moment as you sit on the bed, in your bra, in front of your ex after having an intense conversation. Your hand just a hair away from his shirt; the two of you staring at one another before Rafe breaks into a smirk. Stepping to the edge of the bed “if you missed me so bad you could’ve said so-” the words getting cut off the second he tries to sit on the edge of the bed he falls missing the bed almost entirely which earns a laugh from you, the sharp pain shooting through his ass be damned because; Rafe missed hearing your laugh, the way it bubbled from your chest or the way your lips curl into a smile and eyes fall shut as your long eyelashes tickle against your cheek.
He watches intently as he stands once more watching as you curl over in laughter before opening your eyes and seeing how close he is, making your smile fall into a grin. “I missed that” he says confidently and it makes your head feel as you look up at him with curious eyes. And he stands between your legs and it surfaces something familiar, fuzzy, and a distant throb between your thighs that makes your head spin. “I missed your laugh” his words make you feel warm.
The warmth of his roughy palm cupping your cheek makes you lean into it, the skin to skin contact leaves a wave of nostalgia that it had craved and it makes your eyes glaze over “I missed this” his words the final nail in the coffin, he leans over you to press his lips to yours, a taste of soda and a little bit of liquor and it made Rafe feel weak in the knees. Your glossy lips kissing back, the way your hands find his hair running through the short locks and it makes him groan into your mouth. His thumb parting your lips as his tongue swirls against yours, and his scent fills your senses.
The way your lip gloss stains his lips, as your tongues and teeth clash, this desperate and searing kiss becoming intense as you grip his short hair tightly, nothing like how you used to, missing his longer hair that would always brush against your face any time you would kiss, but this was different; he was different. He was finally growing up, and moving onto better things. “Prove it” you mumbled against his mouth and it makes Rafe pull away from your kiss swilling lips with a string of saliva breaking from the space of your lips.
He trails wet kisses from your cheek to your chin, not acknowledging your words and steadily shows you with his mouth as your head tilts back to press harsh kisses across your throat as his lips nip and suck on a spot he remembers riling you up. You pull away before his soft lips touch your chest “off. Take your shirt off” you blurt and it makes Rafe grin. He didn’t know how far this was going but he’d do whatever you asked in a heartbeat if it meant moving onto the next step with you.
He pulls the white polo by the back of the collar over his head dropping it to the floor on top of yours. Your eyes greedily look over him to see he had grown his muscles, once scrawny and a bit scrappy, he not only had grown emotionally even if it was just a bit, he definitely grew as a man…a lot. His tanned skin covered in freckles from being under the sun, the happy trail that traveled past his jeans. It made you want to discover him all over again. This new version of Rafe, what makes him tick, what buttons you could press, if the same spots you scratched and kissed were still the same, if he had any new scars that you had yet to discover. It made you oh too eager.
Your finger hook onto his belt loops and pull him closer to you, looking up at him with lust filled as you pressed heated kisses to his chest, leaving behind hickeys in your wake down to his lower stomach nipping at his skin biting gently, and it makes him groan at the feeling of your teeth sinking into his skin “fuck, sweetheart” his hand finds your jaw as your nose presses against him finding a spot he knows all too well; his hip with a tiny brown freckle that was sensitive, the warmth of your tongue licking a small stripe against it before pressing your lips to it.
It makes Rafe shutter as it overwhelms him, the euphoric sensation clouds over him, he shuffles to pull you to your feet before taking the spot you once took up and urging you into straddling his lap, cradling the side of your face and kissing you roughly. His hands trailing your body as if this was the first time you had ever been together, like he wanted to memorize every inch he had missed over time. It felt like a haze, every trail of his jagged fingertips tips against your skin felt like your own personal heaven, mentally kicking yourself for depriving yourself of the feeling for so long.
Your hands grip at whatever you can to pull him closer to you, his rough palms sliding from your waist to your ass, he grips the soft skin over your shorts and it makes your skin shiver with anticipation. Grinding against his lap, feeling the bulge growing under his shorts. You feel your panties sodden with your juices making you arch into his chest you moan into his mouth, the sound makes Rafe grind his hips back into yours wanting no separation.
”fuck i missed seeing you like this” he groaned his hands guiding your hips dragging you back and forth as small whimpers fall past your lip as he whispers dirty words into your ear; you could hear your own pulse in your ears as the pleasure of friction drives you grind harder before you stop out of frustration and wanting to feel his skin against your. “I can’t do this…too many clothes in the way, need them off” you whine as if you had clothes on any longer you’d melt. And that makes you pull yourself off of him as you fumble with your buttons and zipper, and Rafe does the same.
Stripping down to almost being fully naked, it made you vulnerable, your arms cover yourself, because as eager as you were to let your bodies collide for the first time in years, things had changed, the sweet nothing Rafe would whisper to you about how beautiful you were and how he worshipped your body like a piece of art had been a distant memory, and with the disappearance of Rafe in your life as a constant nobody was there to tell you how much of a goddess you really were inside and out.
Rafe’s face scrunches as he watches you shy away from showing your skin makes him shake his head “don’t hide from me, don’t do that” he mumbled, it sounded all too familiar; the first time you ever laid in bed with each other with the intent to have sex. The way you were insecure of your body, how you were worried that the second Rafe saw you bare was the day he would never be attracted to you again.
“Come here, baby.” His voice gentle as you moved to take your spot in his lap once more the fabric of both of your underwear stuck to each other from the way your juices soak through your panties leaving a wet splotch on his boxers. “I don’t know what went on when i was gone, but I know that your and this beautiful body…” he presses kisses to your cheek and down your neck “are perfect, and i want to see every inch. Let me see all of you baby. Please?” His voice is gentle yet you know he means them and isn’t just saying it to comfort you.
and you nod as your lips catch his in a searing kiss, the sound of your lips against each other mixed with heavy breathing a moan makes your head spin in all the right ways. Eventually you find yourself back entangled in the sheets as Rafe travels your body leaving behind heated kisses and love bites until he hooks his fingers onto your panties pulling them down slowly until they hang from your ankle, you kick them off to join the rest of your clothes.
His hands guide the back of your thighs up and your knees to your chest, leaving you put on display “so fuckin’ pretty, baby” he mumbles almost as if he’s talking to your pussy,and your eyes snap shut the second you feel his tongue slowly lick a thick stripe up and down your pussy, masking you moan as your head falls back in pure pleasure.
it felt like he was making out with your pussy, drunk on the feeling and sight of you quivering as he practically eats you alive. Your thighs shake as the pressure builds in the pit of your stomach. His thumb presses against your clit, rubbing harsh circles that makes you clench around nothing. Gripping at the sheets of the bed for a sense of grounding yourself, but the way Rafe ate you out like you were his last meal makes your eyes roll back and your hand falls into his short hair.
”harder baby, pull it harder’ he groaned into you as your fingers tighten around his blonde locks. “That’s it’’ he coo’s at you before you feel his finger rub against your entrance before slowly pushing it in and it makes him groan as you tighten round his digit. “She missed me so bad” he groans as he licks up every bit of your juices that run down you. Like a sweet essence like your taste on his tongue was life changing.
Your hips grind against his fingers as your thighs tighten up around his head, the heat formed “give it to me” he was eager to feel you finish; just for him, around his fingers. He pushes in another finger and pushes you closer to the edge, your eyes sticking to the way Rafe drops a thick pearl of spit on your pussy before his mouth is latched against your clit making all thoughts of keeping quiet slip past your mind. The deep pressure was becoming too much, his fingers reaching a spot nobody else could.
the feeling of your soaked gummy walls clenching on his fingers so tightly makes him moan as your thighs quiver around his head, finally letting your orgasm wash over you. “So good, That’s it” he talks you through it as that white hot feeling rolls over your body. He slowly releases you wishing the tight grasp of his hands as you relax into the sheets and it makes Rafe grin in satisfaction “you’re not giving out on me already are you?” His tone is condescending and it lights the heat under your skin that you had associated with Rafe the past few years.
”fuck off” you groan as you sit up, pulling his boxers off his hips, you could see that he was fully hard, and just as big as you remember. It makes your smirk; knowing that you could make Rafe’s body react this much even if it had been years. You push him back against the pillows of the bed and toss the last few pieces of clothing that had covered your bodies. You straddle his lap, your hands intimate and soft rub over his chest and settle on his lower stomach before you bring a hand to your mouth, licking across your palm before you spread your thighs and take his cock within your grasp jerking him off slightly as the glisten of your spit shines on his cock and it makes his eyes flutter shut.
Letting you sink down on him slowly as you lean into each other with your mixed euphoria like a fever dream just waiting to end. You were soaked and it made Rafe's mouth fall open slightly at the feeling, loving the way you were so tight and warm around him, how this feeling of sharing passionate moments with you was once distant now wrecking his body. Slowly building a pace as the soft pattering of your thighs meeting his hands rest on his chest to give you stability your hips stop and slow down to grind against him. “How’s this for giving out?” You ask teasingly, feeling the way his fingers pitch and rub against the skin of your ass and thighs, and it makes the most neediest whimper fall past your mouth.
You could feel Rafe’s hips weakly fucking up into you and it makes your head fall back momentarily in bliss before you build up a faster pace, as much as you wanted to cum, that feeling was easily bought out at the idea of making Rafe feel as good as he makes you. You pull at the back of his head gripping his hair tight within your grasp as you ride him harder. The sight of the glossy sheen your pussy makes on his cock as your ass bounces in his lap with loud smacking sounds resound in the air making him groan in pure pleasure. Closing his eyes tightly holding back the moan building up in the back of his throat. “Look at it” you grip his hair tighter and it makes his eyes shoot open looking down between your thighs and watches as you grind on him harshly his jaw slacks.
“I know you missed me” you giggle as you continue to pick up the same rhythm of riding him as moans fall out your throat ringing out as the headboard cracks against the drywall with a dull thumping sound that matches the of your hips. You felt like your mind was melting and that everything else around you was a blur, your needy moans clog Rafe’s brain and it eggs him on to pull you into his chest as one hand rests on your hip and the other grips around your hair tight in his fist as he pounds into you.
the sound of skin on skin smacking was like an endless loop, but with each thrust and the thrill shooting through your limbs as adrenaline rushes through your veins your grip onto his shoulder digging your nails into his skin which earns a guttural moan and smack to the ass that leaves a red hot pain behind on your skin that you’d rather not admit to enjoying deeper than face value. “You’re so deep inside” you moan as you thrash the overwhelming sensation between your thighs and the white ring that froths at the base of his cock your foreheads pressed together as the both of you look between your bodies and the nonstop movements of your entangled limbs with strings of your essence and his precum stick to your thighs, the wet sounds was like music to Rafe’s ears, each moan falling from the back of your throat and rumbling against his chest makes Rafe become more harsh and precise.
”fuck you’re gonna me cum” he moaned, his pupils blown out as his hip press deeper into you leaving you completely caged in his arms “I’m so close” you whisper into his ears, you were more desperate to see him finish your lips close to his ear as you urged him- no begged him to cum inside you. And it leaves Rafe a mess, as his moans and breathing become jagged he slows down and captures you in a kiss as the two of you finish grinding against each other with bated breath and unspoken words.
the two of you coming down from your highs pull apart reluctantly as the sound of muffled music becomes more apparent that the party was still going on downstairs, Rafe gets up to use the bathroom attached to the room coming back with a warm rag to clean you up, pressing kisses to your thighs and the scratches you hadn’t even known he ad left on you before you both lay in the bed in just your underwear.
”So about that shirt…”
#meimei archives 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ ⭑ ఌ#rafe cameron#obx smut#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe smut#rafe x reader#drew starkey x reader#outer banks smut#rafe cameron x reader
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she loves me not…?
synopsis𓆉。˚ ✧ new idol y/n is absolutely in love with park sunghoon from enhypen. but when the boy is sent a screenshot of y/n admitting how hot he is to her friend and accidentally uploads it on enhypen’s official twitter, y/n is positive that her career is over. a few years later and after successfully redeeming herself to the public, y/n ends up becoming mcs with her newfound sworn enemy, park sunghoon.
— or in which…y/n has to hide her hatred for the man who nearly ruined her reputation while the two mc together on music bank.
park sunghoon x fem!reader
featuring. ningning (aespa), danielle (newjeans), chaewon (lesserafim), rei (ive) + enha boys
genre𓆉。˚ ✧ fluff, slight angst, attempt at humor, one sided enemies to lovers
warnings. swearing, suggestive jokes, kys/kms jokes
taglist is now CLOSED
GIRLZPLANET members profiles ! ₊ ˚ ✩ 。˚ ˚☽
one. PARK MF SUNGHOON two. tiffany couple three. said no one ever four. desperate hoon five. irresistible six. marry me seven. i just want her eight. mistake nine. taking it slow
#enhypen headcanons#enha scenarios#enha fluff#enha imagines#enha x reader#enha#enha sunghoon#park sunghoon imagines#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon smau#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon fluff#enhypen smau#enhypen social media au#enha social media au#sunghoon social media au#park sunghoon social media au
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i’ve been thinking about this for a while and i don’t write so hopefully you’ve got me (o^^o)
mma!toji x reader filming the nastiest sex tape and it gets leaked…
MMA!Toji Fushiguro x Reader
pt.2
contains: fem reader, crack, PT!reader, oral(f&m receiving), Toji eats it from the back, ass eating, ass slapping, choking, rough sex, dirty talk, consensual filming, exhibitionism if u squint, voyeurism if you squint, rough sex, ass play, anal fingering, vaginal fingering, squirting, multiple orgasms, secret pining (Toji), angst at the end :3
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
Toji had just finished an intense practice fighting session with some old friend from out of state, Shiu. Although Toji had emerged victorious in the end, Shiu had roughed him up quite a bit, leaving you to clean up his mess and make his body feel all right again. Toji groaned when you pressed too hard on a sore spot on his back. "Hush, you only have yourself to blame." You said, rolling your eyes at his dramatics.
This big mammoth of a man could take the heaviest hits from other heavyweight guys but he couldn't take some little woman pressing on his shoulder? "I didn't ask for your input- ugh-" He retorted, wincing when you pushed hard on another sore spot, trying to rub the knots out. "Your groans say otherwise." He huffed, a pout forming on his face as he let you work your magic on his body. "Fuckin- go easier- fuck!" He groaned, tilting his head to the side to scold you.
"Do you want to feel better or not? Have I ever left you unsatisfied after a session?" You said, wrapping your arm around his head as you gripped his chin and pushed it back in front of him, "and keep your head in front of you would you? gonna fuck up my work." You chastized.
The two of you had gotten quite close over the couple of years you've been by his side taking care of his physical health. He loved that you didn't take shit from anyone, including him. So many members of his team babied him and let him walk all over them, which wasn't so terrible, but you had a backbone, and that drew him into you; literally. Quite often the two of you found yourselves in the bathroom of some random fighting facility, bodies pressed together, his hand slapped over your mouth to keep your moans down as he fucked his massive cock into you at a brutal pace.
These rendezvous had all started when he hurt himself very badly in a match against a previously undefeated champion; he won of course; but he severely compromised his body in the process. You dragged him into the PT room and scolded him, yelling at him for having too little care for his body and overall health, getting in his face as you shoved his chest and said something along the lines of 'maybe I should just fuckin' leave since you ruin all of my hard work fixing you back up anyways!'
The room went quiet, save for your panting when you finished scolding him; and suddenly, a scene straight out of an enemies-to-lovers book happened, as he crashed his lips into yours and fucked you real good that night with his fucked up body. Ever since the two of you had been sneaking around and hooking up whenever the opportunity presented itself.
"Bitch." He mumbled under his breath. "Toji Fushiguro I have all the paralyzing pressure points in your body memorized like the back of my hand, call me a bitch again." You sighed, moving your body in front of him to lay him down on the table so you could move on to stretching his thighs. "It gets my dick hard when you threaten me." He retorted, smiling at your deadpanned face as you folded his heavy leg at the knee and pushed his hip into his body, resulting in a loud pop to sound through the room.
"Ohh I love when you do this." The man groaned when you pulled his leg back and stretched it out for him, laying the appendage down on the table as you started from his calf and massaged up his thigh. "I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to." You responded under your breath, making him laugh. He groaned lewdly in appreciation once more when you repeated the action on his other leg. "Fuuuuck doll just like that." You slapped his thigh lightly a couple of times as you sushed him. "Stop that, people are going to think you're getting off in here." You eased up on your rubbing, sliding your hands back down his calf.
"Well, we could be." He suggested, raising his eyebrows at you. You smirked at him, hopping up on the table as you straddled his lap, placing your ass right against his crotch, where he was already sporting a half-chub, his big hands came to grip the sides of your hips, humming in satisfaction as you leaned down to his ear and whispered, "This is sexual harassment." Into his ear.
He let his head fall back against the table with a groan, his hands falling limply agaisnt the sides of his body as you slid off of him and plopped yourself back down on the floor, dusting your hands off before you dug your palm into his hip. "Haven't let me fuck you in weeks, that's sexual harassment." He complains, pouting as you undo the knots in his hips. "I don't think you know what that word means, but anyway, you didn't need to be distracted with the huge match you just had." You explained, lifting the bottom of his shirt to reveal his sharp v-line as you rubbed your thumbs along the muscle there.
"It's over now tho, isn't it, mama?" He countered, his hard-on now being at full attention as it tented up the front of his too-thin shorts. "Toji, you still have 20 more minutes of PT." You tried to reason, but you couldn't disagree that him fucking you right now sounded good. You really had missed his dick over these past couple of weeks, but if you didn't stand your ground, he sure as hell wasn't going to; Toji Fushiguro would fuck you in the middle of an alleyway if you let him.
"Great, my dick's been feelin' a little sore, work 'yer magic right here~." He smirked, sitting up as he grabbed your hand and moved it over to his dick, helping you palm it through his pants. "Toji.." You whispered, dropping your gaze to his crotch as he kneaded his larger hand over yours on his crotch. "What? 'yer whole job is to make me feel better right? Make me feel better baby." He said, smirking down at you as he bit his lip between his teeth.
You sighed begrudgingly, swatting his hand away from yours as you palmed him over his pants, wrapping your hand around his clothed length as you stroked him steadily. "Yeahhh~ that's the shit I need." He said, tipping his head back once more against the bed. You felt your face heat up as you listened to his deep and quiet moans from working over his pants. You quickly pulled down his training shorts and gripped him properly, pulling his massive girth out into the open air.
Standing at his side you leaned over his dick and gathered a wad of spit in your mouth before you let it drip onto his cock. His abs clenched and his breath hitched when he felt it hit his sensitive tip. "Dirty girl." Toji laughed, tipping his chin down to stare in amusement at how your hand looked dwarfed by his cock. You rolled your eyes, trying to not let your arousal show as you leaned down and kitten licked his tip, letting your eyes flutter shut before they looked up at him from under your lashes.
He smirked at you, biting his lip as his hands instinctively came down to gather your hair in a makeshift ponytail, holding your hair away from your face so you could work with no distractions. "You're so thoughtful." You said sarcastically, making his toothy grin spread itself wider while you stroked his cock and took his mushroom tip into your mouth, and suckled on the head. "Dont want my favorite girl to ruin her pretty hair while she's suckin' my cock~" He cooed, his jaw dropping as you took his length deeper in your mouth and started bobbing your head, stroking what couldn't fit in your mouth as his hand holding your hair followed your movements.
"God you take it so- fucking- well-" He praised between bobs of your head, pushing down slightly each time you went down. "Can I take a video, doll? You look so- fucking pretty right now." Toji groaned, reaching for his phone as he waited for your approval. The two of you have made ammature movies for yourselves before, the lewd videos never leaving the privacy of your own camera rolls, so you had no reason to decline this time, you trusted him.
Looking into his eyes you did your best to nod your approval with his cock still in your mouth. "Good girl." He praised before he unlocked his phone and soon after the chime of the video starting sounded through the room. He let his groans fall more freely from his lips; he knew you liked listening to them when you were alone in your bed pathetically fucking yourself on your fingers. "Look at the camera baby." He cooed, biting his lip as he watched your lust-filled eyes flit up to look into the lense. "Yeahh, so fucking pretty, keep you're eyes right there~"
Toji pissed you off a lot, and sure maybe you played up your irritation toward him sometimes-- but it was almost impossible to stay mad at him when the two of you got down and dirty. The movies you made could easily be perceived as a married couple having sex from the way he spoke to you in these moments. "Wanna take it deeper for me? Show off your skills baby, show 'em how good you take my cock." Toji encouraged. He would never share these videos with anyone, but he knew you had a bit of an exhibitionist streak in you. If anyone actually saw these videos, you wouldnt be so thrilled, but the fantasy he painted that someone was watching excited you in a way.
You listened to the man underneath you, grabbing his sack with your free hand you massaged his balls in your hands as you sucked his cock deeper into your mouth, your eyebrows scrunching together when it hit the back of your throat. "Godd, you take such good care of me-" Toji groaned, the camera shaking and making you fall almost out of frame when his head couldn't resist tipping back at the stimulation you were giving him.
He felt the coil in his stomach tighten, his balls starting to get ready to release his seed, but not if he had any say in it. As much as he loved the idea of painting your face with his cum, you had recently gotten an IUD inserted and the two of you were having a lot of fun with your newfound freedom with it-- in the sense that Toji could now cum inside you and neither of you would have to hold your breath until your period eventually made its appearance.
He dropped his chin back down to watch you work, smiling at the fact that when he did you were still looking up at him so eagerly, humming around his cock. He pulled your makeshift ponytail up, yanking your warm mouth off of his cock as your tongue hung out in the air, a string of saliva connecting from your wet appendage to the tip of his twitching cock, making him throb freely in the air. You smiled dopely at him, biting your lip with a giggle before you spoke. "Couldn't take it Toji?~" You teased, wiping the strand of spit from your lips with your thumb before dropping your hand and stroking him off while you waited for him to speak.
He laughed through a moan when your hand wrapped around him and started stroking quickly, combined with the massaging of your hand on his sensitive balls, it was making him feel drunk. "Didn't wanna waste my load on your face when I can fuck it into your cunt instead." He retorted, looking through the camera to make sure he was capturing the expression on your face. "Yeah? Wanna fuck me?" You teased, tilting your head to the side as you stuck your tongue out and attempted to bring it back down to his cock, resulting in him yanking on your hair, pulling you away from it.
"Whore." He laughed, releasing your hair roughly, making your head jerk to the side as he sat up and slid off the table, setting up his camera quickly on the table in the corner of the room before he made quick strides over to you and gripped your neck in his hand, your smiling face giggling up at his massive frame as he wrapped his other hand around your waist and pressed your bodies together, connecting your lips in the process.
The kiss was sloppy- full of tongue and teeth as the two of you groaned and whined into the kiss, all the while his hard, unclothed cock was rubbing against your tummy over your clothes. He humped his cock against you while he bullied his tongue into your mouth, resulting in a whine from you, vibrating against his lips. You slithered your hand between your bodies to grab his cock, meeting his needy thrusts with your rough strokes as the two of you kissed each other hungrily.
He pulled away and pressed his forehead to yours, deep breaths filling his lungs as he squeezed your throat in his strong grip, his eyes falling shut, allowing himself to really feel your hand jerking him off. "Feel good when I touch your cock Toji?" You whispered against his lips, resulting in a groan from the man. "You gettin' the relief you wanted so bad?" The hand around your throat constricted your airway, making you smile lustfully as tingles shot down your spine.
"I will when I get inside this cunt." He responded, pressing your lips together once more- making you whine against them before he spun you around in one swift movement and pressed your torso down against the massage table by the back of your neck, his other hand coming down to press down right above your ass as he rubbed his hard cock between your clothed cheeks. The camera had a great view of everything, and it was sure to pick up what was going to happen next.
Both of you panted loudly into the room, you wiggled your ass back against Toji's cock, trying to feel him more against your body. Suddenly all of the stimulation was gone, he pulled your pants and underwear down in one swift movement, the cloth pooling by your ankles as he kept his hold on the back of your neck. "Don't fucking move baby." He instructed, watching you nod from where your head was smooshed into the cushion of the table.
He let the hand on the back of your neck smooth down your back as he dropped to his knees, using both of his big hands to spread your ass cheeks apart to get a good view of your dripping folds and puckered hold before he left a heavy smack on the fat of your ass, resulting in a yelp from you. "Shhh, don't want the team to know you're slutting yourself out for me right now, do you?" Toji laughed, reaching his thumbs down to your pussy lips as he spread them open and watched your tight little entrance clench around nothing.
"Unless you do, wouldn't be surprised." He teased, bringing the pad of his thumb to rub slow circles against your clit as he spoke, "Keep yourself quiet or don't, I don't care." And with that, he dove into your cunt. Immediately he started eating you out like a man starved, his nose pressed against your wetness as he sucked your clit into his mouth, shaking his head back and forth as he spread your cheeks apart and kneaded the fat in his hands. You pressed your hand against your mouth, trying to conceal your moans the best you could as your knees pressed together, your hips wiggling back on his face.
"Fuck! Ngh-" You groaned into your hand, raising your torso and arching your back in the process as you reached your free hand back to rake your hands in his soft hair, pressing him harder against your cunt as he ate you out. He left another mean smack against your ass, a muffled yelp could be heard echoing in the room as he did so. He was being so noisy, slurping loudly and growling against your cunt as he slurped up and swallowed as much of your pussy juice as he could.
Anyone with half a brain could figure out what was happening in your treatment room with all of the sounds slipping under the door. What you didn't know is save for the desk lady on the opposite side of the building, Toji's sparing establishment was completely vacant. He had sent everyone home just before he went to see you for his PT-- Toji wouldn't tell you that though, he was enjoying listening to you attempting to keep yourself quiet.
He pulled away, the bottom of his hand covered in your slick as he rubbed two large fingers through your wetness to coat his fingers to ease the slide into your cunt when he ultimately stuck them in. "Pussy is so fucking loud, 's like you want all those perverts to hear~" Toji teased, slowly slipping his fingers into the tight ring of your cunt, slapping a heavy hand down on your already red ass in the process. You yelped, squeezing your eyes shut as you wined and cursed into your palm, your hot breath creating condensation on your skin.
"Bet you'd like that huh? Thinking about the team standing outside the door jerking off to your cute moans and wet fuckin' pussy makes you wet doesn't it?" He continues teasing, thrusting his fingers to the hilt as he started up a pace into your cunt, spreading your cheek apart so he could get a good view of your pussy swallowing up his large fingers that clenched and pulsed around them at his words. Your hand dropped from your mouth, biting your lip as your hand in his hair gripped hard in his strands, turning your neck to look back at him with a flushed face- the two of you making eye contact as he spoke.
"S-shut the fuck up and eat my pussy." You breathed, making a hearty laugh leave his lungs before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the skin of your ass, "That's my girl~" Toji wasted no time delving back into your cunt, sucking your clit into his mouth as he pounded his fingers harshly into your sweet spot, his moans vibrating against your cunt, making your eyes roll back in your head as your jaw dropped, your head turning to face forward again as you let it fall against the cushion of the table.
Each time he shook his head back and forth against your folds, jolting your clit around in the process, you curled your toes in your shoes, holding your breath before letting out a loud moan when he stopped shaking his head and went back to his usual pace of sucking your folds. You didn't care about the team hearing you anymore, the chances of them being on this side of the building was slim anyway. It had been so long since you and Toji had done anything like this, so you couldn't find it in yourself to care anymore as the pleasure took over your brain, especially with what he did next.
Toji was a nasty man, a filthy fuck, downright dirty in everything he did. His actions, words, even the way he fought. So it was no surprise to you when you felt his head pull away from your cunt, and felt his soft lips suck against the rim of your ass. "Ohmyfuckinggod-" You slurred, your jaw going completely slack as he ate your ass out while continuing to fuck his fingers into your pussy, zeroing in on your sweet spot. "You like that?" He moaned against your rim, darting his tongue out to lick and suck on it, "Like when I eat your ass?" He groaned, quickening his ministrations when he felt your cunt start pulse around his fingers more frequently.
"God- Yes- Holy fuckkk- Dont stop Toji d-dont stop!" You wined, pressing him into your ass as your hand slid down to the back of his neck. He hummed against your rim, sticking his tongue out as he licked agaisnt your hole, pressing it slightly harder into it when your hips tried to thrust back against it. "Ohmygod- c-cumming gonna c-" Your voice raised in pitch as he quickly brought you to your orgasm.
He moaned when he felt a stream of liquid start dripping out around his fingers, his hand coming down to stroke his cock rapidly as he fucked you through the first waves of your orgasm. He couldn't take it anymore, standing up hurridly, he replaced his fingers with his cock faster than you could comprehend as you rode the last waves of your orgasm out on his dick as he started up a brutal pace.
He wrapped his arms around your limp torso and held you against his body, using one of his hands he gripped your chin with his wet fingers and turned your neck to meet his lips in a sloppy kiss. The whiplash he was giving you an out of body experience. You tasted yourself on his tongue as he slotted your tongues together, the wetness from your pussy juices all over his chin being smeared on your own face as he fucked your cunt brutally.
Pulling away he let your body fall back down to the table, your hands bracing you on the table as he held your hips in an iron grip, holding a majority of your body weight up as he stood behind you and fucked into your warm cunt roughly. "Godd- missed this fucking cunt-" He laughed incredulously through a maon, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched his cock disappear in and out of your cunt, a thing ring of cum forming on the base of his cock.
"Fuck fuck fuck- I love you're f-fucking cock-" You moaned, the camera picking up the way your eyes rolled back in your head every time he thrust his girth into you. 'ah-ah-ah''s being fucked from your throat when words didn't fall from your lips. "Yeah? Missed me too huh?" He laughed, briefly pressing his hips flush against your ass and he rolled his hips in circles, his head tipping back before he continued his brutal pace.
"Y-yes-ss~" You replied, the word coming out choppy as he fucked you slower but harder, making your legs shake uncontrollably as you let him take full control of holding the bottom half of your body up. "You're so nice to me when I fuck you, 'should keep you on my cock all the time." He laughed, soaking in the sounds of your shameless moans echoing throughout the room. He wasn't so sure the desk lady couldn't hear you anymore.
You tried and failed to reply as another sudden orgasm caught you and Toji alike off guard. "Oh F-fuck" He laughed, his thrusts losing their rhythm as your cunt tried to milk him. Your moans went quiet as you started to cum, your jaw just hanging open as you rode it out, all the while Toji kept fucking into you, working you through it. "Almost got me with that one." He laughed, letting your arch go as he let your body rest more against the table.
One of his hands abandoned its grip on your wrist as his thumb came to circle your puckered asshole. You whimpered loudly at the stimulation, still very sensitive from your recent orgasm as he didn't even think about letting up his thrusts. He let a glob of spit plop down onto your hole, rubbing it around with the pad of his thumb as he slowly started pushing it inside, making your eyebrows scrunch together.
"Tell the camera how much you love when I play with your ass." He instructed, watching with a slack jaw at how eagerly your hole swallowed up his finger to the hilt. "F-fucking love it Toji-" You whined as he started thrusting his thumb in and out of the hole. "Love it so m-much~" You cooed, starting directly into the camera, knowing he was going to watch this back later and jerk off to it. "Yeah you fucking do." He growled, feeling his balls tighten signaling his own impending orgasm.
"Bet you'd like it getting fucked with another cock here a-and in your little pussy at the same time huh?" He stuttered, the idea spurring him on as it worked him up to his own high. "Takin' a load in your cunt and your ass together-" He bit his lip, his thrusts losing their rhythm completely as he continued babbling to himself as you wined underneath him. "Tell the camera what you want." He encouraged.
You cried out, trying to look into the lens as loud whimpers were fucked out of your throat, his thrusts and thumb making you feel braindead, "W-wan get fucked in my a-ass and my pu-ssy-" You said, barely registering your own words. "W-wan you to fill me up-" You begged, to no one in particular as you spoke to the camera. "That's fucking right- gonna fill up your pussy right now baby, you want that?" He babbled, his deep voice raising in pitch slightly as he used your warm cunt to bring himself to the edge.
"Want me to cum inside you?" he groaned, squeezing your cunt around him to the best of your ability to aid him in reaching his high. "Yes- T-toji cum inside me! Please baby- please-" You cried out, moan after moan of his name getting fucked out of your lungs before his hips stilled against your ass, followed by a deep groan. "Ohmygod-" He grit through his teeth, bringing his hips back every so slightly and fucking them into you as deep as he could as he shot rope after rope of his hot cum inside your walls, groaning and gasping as he did so.
You giggled through your moans, "Yesss- fill me up baby, give it to me." You encouraged him, relaxing your cunt when he let out a shaky breath as his hips stilled against you. Toji let the aftershocks of his cum zap through his body, his abs clenching and body jerking before he pulled out slowly, popping his thumb out of your ass in tandem, making the both of you hiss in overstimulation as his softening cock hung heavily between his legs. "Gotta show the camera this shit." He said, pulling your ass apart to look at the cum stuffed in your cunt before he let the skin bounce back into place as he walked over to grab the camera.
Walking back over to where your tired body laid against the table breathing heavily, he turned the camera around and pointed it at your cunt, pulling your pussy lips apart so he could watch his thick cum drip out of your pussy in thick globs. Using his thumb he swiped up his cum and stuffed it back into your cunt, making you whine quietly before he pulled it back out, the camera capturing the way his thumb glistened with the remnants of his seed coating his thumb.
"Hey." Hey spoke to you, making you turn your head back to look at him. He grabbed your arm and spun you around, you pressed your ass against the table for leverage as you stood in front of him on shaky legs, your flushed face looking up into the camera. Without a word, he pressed his cum coated thumb against your lips and grinned as he watched you take the appendage into your mouth and suck off the cum.
"Good girl, such a good girl." He praised, watching your pretty face take his finger to the hilt before he slid it out of your mouth with a pop. You swallowed before sticking your tongue out to the camera with an 'ahh' sound, a smile on your lips as you showed 'everyone' how you had licked it clean. He gripped the bottom half of your face and squished your cheeks together, shaking your head back and forth as you smiled into the camera. "Give them a nice smile before you go~" He cooed. You pressed your teeth together and shut your eyes, giving the camera a big dopey grin while he continued shaking your face back and forth.
The video chime sounded again, indicating the end of it. He placed his phone on the PT table next to you, before he leaned in and connected your lips together, moaning quietly against your mouth as he kissed you passionately. Toji always got so clingy after sex, not that you minded, it just made you laugh from the stark contrast between his usual demeanor. "You feelin' good?" He asked, pulling away from the kiss but keeping his hand around your chin.
You nodded, "The cum dripping down my thigh isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but I could be worst I suppose." You shrugged. "Looks fucking hot though." He said, raising his eyebrows as he dropped his gaze to see the trail of his cum that made itself about halfway down your thigh. "Get me a towel, pervert.. and put your cock away." You smirked looking down between the two of you at the heavy appendage and shoving his chest lightly to encourage him. Both his hands slid down to your waist to caress the skin there for a moment as he raked his eyes over your body before pulling away and stuffing his girth back into his boxers before he walked over to the counter to get you a towel.
"Never make me go that long without fucking you again." He said, kneeling in front of you as he started wiping the cum from your legs, spinning you around and pushing your lower back down so he could wipe your cunt and ass clean of the wetness, making you hiss uncomfortably. "We'll see~" You said, yelping when he pulled up your pants and left a slap on your already bruised ass, resulting in a glare from you.
--
Later that night Toji had just finished his shower, shaking his damp hair around in the towel, he walked up to his glowing phone that was placed on his nightstand. He had received a text from some number he didn't recognize, the preview of the text being an article header that read, World champion MMA fighter Toji Fushiguro gets humiliated in fight against- "What the fuck?" He said out loud, his big ego not being able to ignore this, he grabbed his phone, quickly unlocking it as he clicked on the link that would take him to the article. "Who humiliated who now?" He mumbled to himself, waiting for the article to load.
His phone flooded with error after error messages, it seemed the more he clicked ignore, the more they popped up. "The fuck is going on?" He groaned, shaking his phone in an iron grip, starting to grow irritated. Suddenly his phone went black, a grey loading icon showing on the screen before it shut off completely. Toji wasn't exactly the most tech savvy person in the world. Staring at his phone in confusion he sat down on his bed and tried to click all the buttons on the side of his phone, waiting for his phone to come back to life.
"The man was snapped out of his stupor when the grating jingle of an incoming call screeched through his laptop speaker, along with ding after ding of incoming messages. He rested his phone on the side table again before he slid his laptop over on his knees, opening the device his manager's name splayed big and bold on the screen, along with 10+ hidden messages from you, and more incoming from other members of his team. "Seriously what the fuck??" Toji cursed watching the call time out before it quickly started ringing again. "You better have a good fucking reason to be blowing me up so late." He growled, waiting to hear his managers voice.
"What the fuck are you posting on Twitter right now Toji?!" His manager screamed through the small speaker of his laptop. "What the hell are you curing at me for?" He responded, feeling the veins in his forehead pop out. "Toji, I don't know what you think you're doing but you need to take those down immediately." The panicked voice echoed into his bedroom once more. "Can you shut the fuck up for a second? My phone got a bug or some shit a second ago I haven't been on Twitter you fucking prick." He yelled back, waiting for his manager to yell at him once more but all he heard in response was silence.
"What do you mean you got a bug?" The voice came through, quieter. "I don't fucking know man, some number send me a link to a stupid fucking fake article and when I clicked on it my phone killed itself." He said irritated, throwing his hands up in the air as if the person on the other line could see him. "So you haven't been on Twitter tonight?" The voice spoke again after a brief silence. "If I have to repeat myself one more time you're fucking fired," Toji growled into the speaker. The line went quiet, too quiet, and for far too long, Toji actually started getting worried.
He couldn't help but notice the messages from you were still blowing up his laptop one after the other, waiting for his manager to speak, he clicked on your chat.
"Toji fushiguro what is going on, why is everyone blowing up my phone?"
"Oh my god.. Toji stop please,"
"You said you would never show anyone what is wrong with you? How could you do this to me?"
"Toji I see you posting this shit, fucking answer me right now!!"
"I feel sick, please stop, Toji please."
The rest of your messages were filled with curses and audio messages of you screaming at him and pleading for him to delete the videos. Toji felt his heart sink to his stomach when he registered what was going on, he felt like he was going to vomit.
"Toji, stay there, the team is on our way over we're going to fix this." Toji couldn't even respond as he scrolled over to Safari and pulled up twitter.com, noticing his name trending on the search page, fuck. "In the meantime stay off Twitter, don't make any statements just stay put." His manager calmly spoke.
The dark-haired man's screen lit up with the video of the two of you from earlier that day flooding his timeline, filled with comment after comment and retweet after retweet of people trying to figure out who you were. "Fuck." He whispered under his breath, his speaker picking up the sound as his manager tried to calm him down. "It's alright, we sent someone to go check on (you) they'll explain everything to her, we will fix this, stay put Toji." The voice explained.
Toji dropped his heavy head in his hands. He had spent the last almost two years trying to form some sort of relationship with you and when he finally felt like he was getting somewhere with you this shit happens? You were never going to forgive him. The sounds of your choked cries and curses through your tears would echo in his head forever.
He had to fix this, he had to, he couldn’t let all of his work be for naught. The jingle of his keys could be heard through his manager's speaker as he rushed through traffic trying to make it to Toji's house as fast as he could. "Toji don't do it, don't fucking go anywhere, TOJ-" His voice cut off as the dark haired man slammed his laptop shut, grabbing his jacket hanging off the side of his bed he made a b-line for the door of his penthouse.
#holy f*ck this is too good#fav thing i’ve written so far#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#toji x you#toji smut#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji x reader#toji x y/n#dilf toji#gojo smut#gojo x reader#geto smut#choso smut#jjk fushiguro#toji fushigro x reader#fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro#fushiguro toji smut
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch4. in a mother’s eyes
ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
ᰔ chapter. 4/x
ᰔ words. 10k (omg a whole number...very sexy)
a/n. hellooo my ihm friends! hope you're all doing well. ahh i'm glad to finally be posting this chapter lolol. it's a littleee off tangent from what happens in ch3, but still has some important plot developments. it does dive into feelings of depression & anxiety, so just wanted to give a warning on that! but yea other than that i hope you enjoy and see you at the bottom!! :) also so sorry if there are errors i only had time to skim through it once :((
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“Just go ahead and sign right here for me.”
You take the pen from the hospice nurse’s hand. It’s cheap black plastic with a pink fuzzy pom pom attached to the end of it with peeling glue.
Your eyes briefly flit across the paragraphs detailed in printed ink until your gaze lands on the highlighted lines at the bottom of the page. Your signature. Spouse’s signature.
“We’ll need to have your husband come here to sign the paperwork as well, since he’ll have to add your mother on his list of dependents, but we can certainly get started on expediting this process for you since the insurance has already been pre-approved,” the nurse tells you as she accepts your signed paperwork and then neatly tucks it into one of the compartment holders.
The afternoon goes by smoothly, with your mother surprisingly patient as she sits in the waiting room while you wait for the nurses to formally show you to her new room.
You thought that you could put off putting her in hospice for a little longer, because in all honesty, you weren’t prepared to let her go just yet. You weren’t prepared to not have her in the house anymore. But lately, she’s been putting herself in lots of danger, like attempting to take her own medications when she does not know the correct dosing, and forgetting things on the stove when she attempts to cook.
But the last straw was when you came home from a very brief run to the grocery store at night a couple days ago to see a handful of your neighbors out on the front lawn with your mother at their side. She had apparently gotten out of the house and walked down the neighborhood, then fallen on the sidewalk but was unable to get up. When your neighbors had found her, a miracle as they were just coming home from dinner and caught sight of her in the illumination of their headlights, they tried to help her get up but she couldn’t. She couldn’t even tell the firefighters that came by to help her what her name was, or what year it was, or where she lived.
It was when you realized you couldn’t even keep her safe anymore that you had to let go.
“Is that a wedding ring?” your mother asks, pointing a trembling finger to it as she lays tucked inside her new hospice bed, “are you married?”
You glance down at the ring Gojo gave you in the courthouse, almost surprised to find that you were still wearing it in good faith. “Yes, mom. I am.”
“Why am I here?” she asks you, “I don’t want to be here.”
You stiffen a little. Although you were mentally preparing yourself to answer these questions, the preparation didn’t make it any easier. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just for a little short while, okay? The doctors want to run some tests on you.”
“Who are you married to?” she asks.
“To Satoru,” you tell her, “our neighbor.”
She lets out a small gasp. “The sweet boy who fixed our A/C?”
You roll your eyes. not sure why your mother has hyper fixated on that memory with Gojo when most days she’ll look at you like you’re a stranger. “Yes mom.”
“Oh, I like him,” she tells you with an affectionate nod. She hesitates slightly, wearisome of some other thought that flashes through her mind. “How long have you been married?”
You let out a small sigh. This is already a conversation you had with her a couple days ago, and it doesn’t feel good to lie to her. It was hard enough to do once, but to have to constantly lie to her over and over again over all the smallest things just so that she stays calm and safe and happy seems to drain you of all your energy and happiness you had left in your bones.
Little white lies, that’s what they are. Harmless ones. That’s what you tell yourself to absolve yourself of the guilt.
“I’ll come back soon, okay? I’ll tell you more about him some other day,” you say to her, speaking gently in the way an adult would speak to a child. The way she used to speak to you. You could never exactly pinpoint when those roles became reversed.
You finish discussing some more insurance matters with the front-desk nurse as she puts together a small folder of documents for you. While she works, you glance at the little counter shelf that includes a plethora of pamphlets on how to deal with the complicated feelings that arise from putting a loved one in hospice care, and dealing with the emotions of having a relative with advanced stage dementia. They are pretty brochures, lovingly creased at the folds as if looked through multiple times by people who walk in and out of this facility, but seemingly only few take them home. You slip one of each into your folder when the nurse hands it to you, manage the best smile possible, and then turn on your heel to head out the hospice doors.
The sun is setting outside as you take the walk back to your car, which was purposefully parked a half mile away to afford you the luxury of a melancholic stroll. Somehow, you feel like you’ve left a piece of yourself back at the hospice. A feeling you can’t quite shake from your bones.
Your feet stop walking somewhere along the sidewalk on their own, the street lights above you flickering brighter into life as the sky is now a dusty gray with only streaks of purple. There’s a liquor store you spot across a small parking lot to your right, and you’re guided towards it, but not without a sickening feeling in your chest.
When you open the door, the bell at the top jingles, and you glance to the right where you see a lanky young man playing some sort of shooter game on his phone by the cash register. You grab a bottle of vodka, a bottle of white wine, some packs of skittles, one of the mini pizza boxes at the hot food station, and then dump it all onto the counter.
The young man scans all your items without even so much as sparing you a glance, but does take a look at your ID, then says, “Total’s $68.65, cash or card?”
“Card.”
Just before you tap your card, something displayed behind the cashier counter catches your eye. Something familiar, something tempting, something you weigh in your head about twenty times within one millisecond all due to the cortisol coursing through your veins and you eventually say, “Uh, and could I get one of those, too?”
The cashier looks behind himself to what you’re pointing at before turning around. “Sure.”
The same jingle is heard on top of your head as you leave the store, now with a burning hot mini pizza box in your hand as well as a plastic bag that carries your candy and the two clinking bottles of alcohol.
“Oh!! omg, y/n,” you hear a feminine voice call out and you’re instantly wincing. The last thing you wanted was to be bothered right now. You just wanted to go home and get drunk and then pass out on the floor of your living room. But alas, the world is small.
You turn around to see Hana come running across the sidewalk lot towards you, and when she’s about a few feet away, she glances down at your hands and all the things you were carrying. You quickly shove your last-minute purchase into your jacket pocket with a shameful conscience, and try to hide the plastic bag of liquor behind your calves. There was no hiding the pizza box, but at least that was the least incriminating.
“Oh, Hana, wow! What a coincidence seeing you here,” you say to her, pressing your lips into a small smile.
“Yeah, I um,” she points over her shoulder towards the hospice that’s standing tall in the darkness of night, cells with windows illuminated with light. If you didn’t know any better, you would think it was a prison. “Remember I told you my friend’s mom is sick and she’s at this hospice?”
“Yeah,” you say.
“I was just visiting her mom with her,” she tells you.
“Aw,” you comment, “I see, I see.”
You adore Hana, you really do. She was there for you when the whole Yuna and Choso thing went down, picking your shifts up for a good week when you couldn’t stomach going into work when your ex-best friend’s stupid face was gloating in the halls over how she stole your boyfriend. Hana was there for you when you were a new hire and all the doctors were being bitchy about a “newbie in the ED”, but she stood up for you, even cussed the fuck out of one of attendings for the whole hall to hear when you were being disrespected by one of them. She’s someone you can beam about how hot the EMT and Firefighter men that stroll into the ED are, too. A priceless companion.
And even though you two have hung out after hours sometimes, it was still always a little awkward to see a coworker outside of work.
“What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I actually, um, was going to tell you at our shift tomorrow, but I just admitted my mom to the hospice too,” you say, “and…thanks a lot for telling me about it. I really appreciate it. It seems like a wonderful facility.”
Her eyes briefly widen with surprise before they soften once again. “Oh, that’s wonderful, love. I hope all goes well. And your little insurance scam worked! Good for you!”
“Shhh,” you hiss at her, looking around yourself with paranoia, “the feds are everywhere.”
She laughs, sweet in the air, before the sound settles and she looks at you with something reminiscent of well-intentioned concern. Her eyes flit to the plastic bag you were still holding behind your legs. “Hey…um, if…if you ever want some company when you come to visit your mom, just let me know. I hope you know you don’t have to do everything alone.”
You blink at her, sucking in a short breath to respond, but it only leaves you as a slight puff of air. There’s a silent gratitude that you give her, because it’s hard for you to express any feelings with words, but you’ve found that the people in your life who know you best can always read you without them.
“Thank you, Hana,” you manage to say with a slight croak to your voice because you were fighting back tears.
She smiles at you. “Take care, okay? And see ya tomorroooowwwwww,” she coos at you, coming up to you to give you a small hug, a squeeze of your upper arm, and then she heads back towards the direction of the hospice.
You watch her walk away until you can’t see her anymore. And then you head towards your car.
When you arrive at your neighborhood, you park in front of Gojo’s house. You have a feeling that you won’t be able to bear the vast emptiness of your home now that your mother is elsewhere, and so you drag your feet up the stone stairs of his house with a heavy heart instead.
The spare key that he gave you weakly pushes into the keyhole with about as much force as your fingers can manage, and you realize they almost feel atrophied.
The house is dark when you step inside, spare for the ambient street lights shining through cracked open blinds on the windows, and the curtains rustle gently from the draft of the AC, a chill that reaches you too by the time you make it to the staircase.
It doesn’t seem like Gojo’s home. A glance at the clock tells you it’s close to 8pm. You briefly consider texting him to ask where he’s at, why he’s out so late, when he’ll be home, and what’s for dinner, but you can’t even bring yourself to pull your phone out of your coat pocket.
Weak legs manage to take you upstairs and you’re about to pass through to your room when the slightly open door to the master bedroom taunts you, like a peephole into some other wordly dimension. Like the wardrobe in the chronicles of Narnia. A portal into your fake husband’s life.
With a palm pushing on the door, you slowly crack it open, and you know the anxious voices in your head are getting worse by the day when the creaking of the door hinges sounds like a lullaby to you.
Was this an invasion of privacy? And did you really care if it was?
The room is big, with a king sized bed off to the left, sheets neatly made and duvet primly tucked under, like the way hotel beds are set up. You feel a slight flush of embarrassment when you remember you haven’t been making your bed in the mornings for the past couple days you’ve been living here so far, and you wonder if Gojo would judge you for something like that. If he’d think you were a messy or undisciplined person. If he would think less of you.
Truthfully, in a lot of ways, you still felt like a child. You barely weathered a lot of your formative adolescent years when dealing with your parents’ divorce, and you’ve had to put so much of your life on pause to take care of your mom ever since she got diagnosed. So here you were, in the body of a 29-year-old woman, yet still feeling so painfully juvenile. One that forgets to make her bed in the mornings, and on most nights can’t seem to stomach anything other than cereal for dinner. It was like you were still at a party that everyone else had left, except all it ever was is hell. Your life was such a stark contrast to the lives of other adults you’ve come across. The ones that wake up at six to go on runs, the ones that have paid off mortgages with five figures in their retirement accounts, oh god, the ones that meal prep, and the ones that, all things considered, have their lives together. The ones that don’t spend at least an hour of every day, in fetal position on their bed, sobbing until tears soak through the sheets of the pillow down to the feathers like bone, because you’re so overwhelmed with stress and preparing yourself for the grief of losing your mother which you know that, no matter how hard you try to save her from, will inevitably one day come.
You used to cook dinner every night, make your bed every morning, and go to pilates on the weekends. Back when you were a little younger and healed and excited to live life. But now, you barely get by. Your priorities are with your mother. You can’t remember the last time you did anything nice for yourself, including something as simple as the luxury of getting to come home to a clean house because you hardly ever had time to clean it, not with all the doctor’s appointments you were driving your mother to, not with all the extra shifts you were picking up at the hospital to pay off your debt, not with all the times you felt too depressed to even get out of bed.
But your mother is in hospice now, so you’ve made time, right? You’ve made the decision that everyone in your life has been begging you to finally do. So why do you still feel so empty inside?
By a quick survey of the room, you notice Gojo doesn’t really have many framed photos hung up on the walls or perched up on surfaces. None, actually. Only a contemporary painting above his bed frame and then a faded vintage horror movie poster plastered up near his desk. Not terribly odd, since in your experience most men don’t really do the whole “cluttering the house with millions of photos of their family” thing until they at least have a couple of kids and some purebred dog. The thought of Gojo someday setting up a little portrait photo at his desk with his wife’s—his eventual real forever wife’s, pretty face in it, posing with their two beautiful kids, makes an oddly melancholic feeling waft through you. You wonder if he would keep a two-by-two in his wallet, too.
Your feet move one in front of the other as your finger traces the surface wood of a dresser cabinet, something that looks a little vintage and oaky, in stark contrast to the modern minimalist vibe Gojo has set up in the rest of the room. A family heirloom, maybe? There’s no dust that coats your finger, which surprises you. If you were to run your finger across your dresser at home you’d have collected enough dust to snort down your windpipes like a recreational drug. But Gojo’s a real estate agent, making a living off of dressing houses up in perfect cosplay so that monetarily stable middle class families feel inclined to buy them. So you’re not exactly surprised he’s invested in keeping his own house in pristine condition too.
There is a little bit of chaos, though. Like the shirt he has haphazardly hung over his chair at his office space over to the right. There’s a coffee mug sitting there too, porcelain and reflecting the moon light off, but upon peering inside you see that it’s half empty with stale coffee. He’s got pens sprawled across the desk, in a fashion that suggests he accidentally knocked them over in a rush, and slowly, like some grounding exercise, you place them one by one back into the paper mache pencil holder. It briefly occurs to you that he has a lot of paper mache containers of sorts around the house. You lift up the pencil cup, turning it in your hand until your eyes catch something written on it with glittery pink gel pen.
i luv u unkle toru! -yur BEST FREND 4EVUR juno!!! :D
A small smile makes it onto your face. The handwriting was messy, more like scratches than smooth lines, and nothing less than what you would expect of a child. You remember making paper mache and clay trinkets at preschool for your mom and dad when you were younger. And you’re sure if you were brave enough to open the box of memorabilia that sits in your attic some day, you’d see your own scratchy scribbled handwriting on them. An innocence that is long gone and buried, never again to be delicately placed on desks or counters for all the living.
The draft from the AC reaches you once again, brushing over your skin and causing a chill to shiver down your spine. It kicks at the curtains as well, causing them to ruffle up towards you, baring the dark outside world into the streets. And you notice in that momentary glance that there’s a roof just outside the window that overlooks the backyard. A roof? Spotted by a depressed woman going through a quarter life crisis? There was nothing more tempting than that.
The window was easy to open, which only caused unease over the revelation of how easy it would be for someone to rob this house. You make a mental note to tell Gojo to get a ring camera or security system of some sort since he doesn’t seem to have one, but you can already picture him telling you something about how statistically low the crime rates are in this neighborhood compared to all the other neighborhoods, and then you’d tell him that it’s just for your peace of mind. But whether he’d compromise or not after that, you’re really not sure.
You take a seat on the roof, a little scared as you sit because of the slight slope, but it’s comfortable once you’re settled. You sit criss-cross-apple-sauce, staring out into the neighborhood of perfectly lined up suburban houses. You’ve got a better view into some neighbors' backyards, noticing that a couple of them had pools while some of them have big gardens. There's a cat resting up on a fence in the distance. A car drives by with headlights illuminating everything in its proximity briefly before zooming off. You glance up at the sky, and notice the full moon, but it’s too cloudy to see any stars. Or perhaps it was just the light pollution from the lamps making it difficult to see.
On instinct, your hand reaches inside your coat pocket for your phone, but your knuckles hit something else instead. A moment of brief confusion flickers through your head, but then you immediately recall the last-minute purchase you made at the gas station.
Your hand pulls out the object, and then you stare down at it. Squinting your eyes a little, because it’s a sight that feels familiar but also one you haven’t seen in so long: a pack of twenty Marlboro red cigarettes.
You’ve tried a lot of things to manage your stress over the years. Excessively working out, eating a lot of sugar, going on six hour hikes to touch grass, flirting with random men at bars, fucking Choso until he was rendered speechless, multiple types of antidepressants, you almost tried smoking weed once with your roommate in college but you wimped out last second. But the habit that had gotten you through the years of 21 to 24 is held loosely in your hand right now. It’s been five years since you quit, but resolve was often a fickle thing. As the saying goes, once an addict, always an addict.
There’s a brief moment of hesitation as you slowly peel the plastic off of the back, but then it all comes back to you like a reflex you’ll never forget up to where you slide a cigar up out and then pinch it between your two fingers. Forgetting to buy a lighter with the cigarettes is definitely something you would do, but because you remembered it was something that you would do, you remembered not to do it. The flick of the flame coming to life is ASMR you didn’t know you were painfully nostalgic for, and you balance the cigarette between your lips in that sort of movie-star way people used to obsess over back in the day. But just as you bring the lighter up to the end of the cigarette, and just before you can light it—
A hand shoots out in your periphery, grabbing your wrist and entirely stalling the movement.
You gasp, lips parting enough for the cigarette to fall from them and into your lap. The hand wrapped around your wrist is large and masculine, and you briefly consider screaming, but when you snap your neck to look at the perpetrator, you see Gojo crouched down next to you on this roof. You notice he’s wearing a black suit, a tie that was loosely secure hanging from his neck into the space between his spread thighs as he’s crouched, and whatever gel he had in his hair from earlier only barely remains as strands fall over his forehead haphazardly. He looks like he’s on the other end of a long work day.
You blink at him, expression plastered with surprise, but his is only earnest. With breathtaking blue eyes that you realize he could easily use to surrender a person just by looking at them, like the way he’s looking at you right now. His lips are pressed together into a firm line, as if to suppress some emotion, but the slight crease to his brow makes you feel like you’re in trouble somehow. Like he was silently scolding you for something.
“I—” you stutter.
He lets go of your wrist and discreetly pulls the lighter out of your hand. And then his hand reaches for the pack of cigarettes you were balancing on your knee, but on some reflex that you don’t even think about, you try to snatch them away from him, and now you’re both tugging at the same pack of cigarettes.
“y/n,” he says, “let go.”
“No,” you say stubbornly.
He sighs and tugs a little harder. “Give them to me.”
“But—” you stammer, voice becoming softer to see if that’d work on him, “I’m…” Your grip on them tightens. “I’m stressed.”
He raises an eyebrow at you, then finally loses his patience and snatches them right out of your hand. He stands up from his crouched down position to toss the pack off to the side onto the roof somewhere. You’re surprised when he lets out a sigh and sits down next to you on the roof, as if he felt the obligation to. His legs stretch out in front of him, but still bent slightly at the knees, and he leans backwards with his body weight braced on his palms laid flat on wood paneling behind him. “There are better ways to relieve stress,” he tells you candidly.
“Like what?” you ask, and just when he opens his mouth to speak, you clarify, “and don’t say sex.”
He shuts his mouth and his eyes flit up to the sky for a brief second. “Damn. I didn’t have a back-up answer.”
You roll your eyes, releasing a deep breath, then draw your knees to your chest before resting your chin on top of them.
“I didn’t know you smoke,” he says after a century-long minute.
You wince a little, because you were half hoping he was going to just drop the subject all together.
You bite your lip nervously and hug your knees to your chest tighter as if to hide yourself from him. “I don’t. Well, I haven’t. Um, not for a while.”
“Huh. I see,” he says.
Another silence passes, and as he shuffles next to you, the fabric of his suit brushes against the fabric of your coat, and you’ve become entirely too aware of the feeling.
“So,” he says, breaking the awkward silence, “your mom’s in hospice now?”
You nod, enthusiastic enough to where you won’t look like you’re entirely depressed about it.
“That’s good,” he says, “no issues with the insurance?”
You shake your head. “They need you to sign some papers by the end of the week though,” you tell him. “We’ll have to go in person.”
He nods slowly to affirm he’ll make time for it. “I really hope things get better for your mom,” he says, voice soft as he stares off into neighbors homes like you had been doing ten minutes ago. You see the cat that was resting on the fence get up, do a big stretch, and start walking along the length of the fence. Your eyes briefly glance at Gojo, and you notice his gaze is tracing the cat’s path.
“My—” you start, hesitant all of a sudden by the vulnerability you already feel swelling within you, most definitely due to sitting with someone on a rooftop late at night, but you decide that you’ll be nice to him for once, “…my mom seems to remember you a lot. More than she remembers me.” You let out a small humoring laugh, as if that fact doesn’t completely destroy you. “She was blabbering to me again for the seventh time about how you apparently fixed our AC.” You try to bite your tongue, but can’t help it when you say, “although I’m pretty sure you just pressed a bunch of buttons until it started working again.”
“Yup. That’s exactly what I did.”
You roll your eyes and sigh.
Another awkward silence.
“Can I ask you a question?” you say.
“Sure.” His voice sounds deeper, like he’s sleepy.
“Why did you agree to marry me? That’s not something people just do out of nowhere.”
He glances over at you, and you flicker your eyes to him. “Why? Having regrets?” he teases, with a slight nudge of his elbow to your side.
“Just answer me.”
He lifts his palms up from behind him and leans forward, placing his hands on his knees instead. “I don’t know. If something I could do would help someone out that much, I wasn’t going to say no.”
You hum quietly, still confused by his intentions. But you’re too jaded to question them.
“It costs nothing to be nice,” he adds.
You run soothing circles over your thigh through the fabric of your jeans. For some reason, your mind wanders to Choso. Thinking of all the years you wasted staying with him even though you knew his affections were long gone, just because you didn’t want to break his heart. Only to realize that you never had that privilege in the first place.
“I think,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper as you draw your knees closer to your chest, “that sometimes it does.”
A gust of autumn wind breezes by, ruffling the trees that the two of you are at eye-level with at the moment. You're pretty sure you’ve completely lost Gojo’s interest at this point, where he’s finally too tired to deal with your oddly cryptic attitudes and overall generally displeasing vibe, assuming this based solely on his prolonged silence beside you. You’re ready for him to get up and abandon you here on this roof, left to ponder every single thing you’ve done wrong in your life. It was any second now.
“Sometimes,” he instead speaks up, and it’s so surprising to you that you jolt a little bit, “you can do everything right, and people will still find a way to fuck you over. But I don’t think that’s any reason to stop being nice to others.”
You glance over at him, your eyes widening slightly, but he just continues to peer off straight into the night. His blinks are slow, lingering on being closed for a moment before he opens them again, and you’re mesmerized by the sight. The skin under his eyes is slightly dark from exhaustion, heavy with character that makes you aware that he’s just a person too. And for what feels like the tenth time this week, you realize that he’s—…handsome. And for what feels like the tenth time this week, your heart flutters in your chest.
He scoffs suddenly and dusts his hands off. “I sound like a fucking youth pastor.” He lets out an exhale before suddenly standing up onto his feet before you can think more on it. He looks off into the night again and lets out another exhale that sounds more like a sigh this time. “God, it’s getting a lot colder these days. Might have to start running the heater.”
You blink up at him with no commentary to add.
He looks down at you. His face is relaxed, but you can tell those eyes are distracted. A shimmering blue ocean in its own world while he attempts to stay present in this one.
He holds his hand out to you, and you stare at it blankly like you’ve got no clue what he intends for you to do with it. But you finally take the hint and curl your hand around his palm so that he can pull you up onto your feet too.
You stumble a little, falling forward from the sudden blood flow to your brain, but he holds you steady by the strong grip of his hands on your elbows. He’s close to you, close enough to where you can smell the faint lingering scent of his cologne. Something different than that expensive one he wore to the courthouse, but it’s comforting somehow. A fragrance that’s more him. And you feel nervous as you look up at him underneath pale moonlight.
He lets go of your elbows. You feel cold from the loss of his touch. But his right hand moves to gently hold your left hand in his palm, holding it curled as his thumb barely grazes the stone you wear on your ring finger; the one he gave you.
The way his thumb prods at the silver band is like he’s inspecting its quality, as if it has to pass some test to be worthy of sitting on your finger. Or maybe just any finger, if you were to quell the delusion. You’re not sure if he’s satisfied with his inspection.
“Where did you get it—” you blurt out.
His gaze flickers up to your face briefly before he’s back to examining the ring. “It was my mom’s.”
Your mouth gapes slightly in shock, heart dropping a little in your chest, and all of a sudden you feel guilty. Guilty that he put his mother’s ring on your finger for something that was fake, something that was essentially a business deal, something exchanged to you out of fraud when it was a precious family heirloom that should be exchanged with love. And maybe he didn’t care about it much, some people don’t care about the sentiments of objects. But your mind thinks of the oaky vintage dresser in his room, so out of place in the aesthetic of its surroundings, a decision you can only imagine him of all people, mr. “everything in this house has to look like an IKEA catalog”, would do if the dresser held some importance to him that was more than meets the eye. And so you’re compelled to think that maybe this ring did, too.
“Why would you give me this?! You could’ve just gotten a cheap fake diamond ring from a pawn shop and called it a day,” you ask him, suddenly feeling burdened by it.
“Well I wasn’t exactly given much time to think of other options.”
“But—” you start, only to realize you have no counter arguments for that.
He lets out a huh noise, like the sound someone makes when they’re pleasantly surprised by something, as he looks down at your hand that he still held in his. “It’s kinda crazy that it fits you perfectly. I wasn’t sure.”
Your mind wanders to when he slipped the ring onto your finger in the courtroom, followed by the kiss. Soft, sweet, the lingering warm sensation of his palm on your cheek as he cupped your face, the same way those heartthrob actors do in all those romance movies and kdramas that you watch on Friday nights while snuggled up in a blanket, wondering when anyone will ever kiss you like that. You remember the ghost sensation of his hand hovering over the small of your back, fingers lightly grazing the nape of your neck, his frame blocking out everything around you as he kissed you, just to pull away and for the two of you to then pretend like it never happened, as if it wasn’t one of the sweetest kisses you’ve ever known.
You slowly pull your hand out of his, the moment feeling too tender for your liking, and you clear your throat before flitting your eyes up to his.
“Rule #1,” you remind him with a soft whisper, “no touching.”
You purse your lips, watching his round eyes blink once, then twice, before he shoves his hands in his suit pockets. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a few seconds, nodding slowly in submission, and then he turns on them to head back to the house. You’re standing a little stunned from the abrupt ending to this trance of a moment on the roof, and you’re also a little surprised with how your chest is heaving a little bit with fast breaths, but you eventually snap out of it to follow him inside too.
You two make it back inside the house, with little words exchanged. You pretend to not notice the way Gojo tilts his head at his desk, like he’s confused about why it looks tidier than when he left it. You’re prepared to feign innocence or ignorance, but he doesn’t press you about it.
“Y’know,” he says from behind you, his chest briefly brushing against the back of your head as he pushes the bedroom door in front of you open so that you can head out into the loft, “those oversized 1800s-esque nightgowns you’ve been wearing around the house kinda make you look like a less-hot version of Ebenezer Scrooge.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
•┈┈┈••✦☽✦••┈┈┈•
“Sign right here for me, sir.”
You watch as the nurse slides the papers across the high-raised counter of the hospice nursing desk towards Gojo, his eyebrows narrowing as his eyes skim the words on the paper and land at the highlighted lines where he’s been intended to sign. You feel nervous for some reason, as if he’d suddenly find something disagreeable and refuse to sign, then take you to the courthouse first thing to finalize a divorce and send you off to prison while claiming he was blackmailed into the whole marriage in the first place.
Instead, he pulls a pen from the chest pocket of his suit jacket, clicking the end of it and scribbling his signature onto the paper with some jet black ink that looks like it takes a second to dry. How pretentious of him. The pink pom-pom pen was right there.
The nurse behind the counter continues to chat with him about something, blah blah dependents, blah blah tax claims, blah blah you’ll receive an itemized bill in the mail. You’re trying your best to eavesdrop in on the conversation, but most of your senses are being occupied by examining all your surroundings. When you dropped your mother off at the hospice, your feelings were at the forefront of conscience, but now that you’ve had a couple days to come down from that overwhelming emotional high, you’re here to scope out the quality of this place you’ve just dumped your mom at.
The facility is clean and sleek, with a color theme of red and an ocean blue across the signs, the furniture, even with the paperwork they hand out. All the workers had color-coded scrubs based on their occupation or specialty, and none of them had stains on the fabric. You take a glance down at the modest leather pumps you were wearing past the creases of the long skirt, and notice that the floor was shimmering off their reflection in a perfect polish. It wasn’t bad, this place.
“Thanks, you too,” you hear Gojo say to the nurse behind the counter. He has a professional smile on his face, but still kind and genuine, which makes the woman at the computer something bashful and unable to make eye contact. He folds something that looks like a receipt into his chest pocket before tucking his pen back in there too and then turns to face you. You make a mental note to pay him back for whatever he just paid for, at least once you move some money around.
Your eyebrows lift, feeling a little dazed as you blink at him blankly.
“Alright,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets, the sound of his shoes on the polished hospital floors satisfactorily tapping in your ears as he took a couple steps towards you, “where’s your mom’s room?”
“Huh?”
“What’s her room number?” he asks you.
“Y-You wanna go see her??”
“Of course I want to,” he says, “she’s my mother-in-law.”
You roll your eyes and pet the fabric of your skirt to smooth the wrinkles out. “You’re getting a little too invested in this role of fake husband.”
“I get to annoy you all day and ride the adrenaline rush of committing a federal crime,” he says, “of fucking course I’d get invested.”
You sigh, tossing some of your hair to behind your shoulder before glancing up at the signs, squinting slightly to locate the ward where your mother’s room is, before you hear an extremely high-pitched and somewhat catty feminine voice call out from behind you. You glance at Gojo’s face as he peers off to whoever’s behind you, and you see him visibly stiffen a little.
“Is that Dayton county’s sexiest realtooorrr???” the voice purrs, and you turn on your heel to see a blonde bombshell of a woman clacking her kitten heels down the glistening floors of the hospice, with another brunette bombshell just a few paces behind her. Bombshell #2 sighs something like “it issss” before they walk right up to your fake husband and take turns at giving him a playful squeeze of his bicep. You have to physically stop your jaw from dropping at the sight.
“Wow! Ladies, so–...so great to see you two,” he says out of polite obligation, and you immediately clock the fact that he doesn’t address them by name.
Bombshell #1 turns to look at you, all of her hair moving as one solid entity with the motion from all the hair spray that’s probably holding it up, and she points at you with a long slender finger that narrows into a french-tip. “Oh who’s this?? Another one of your clients??”
“Oh, no, she’s my–”
“I’m his wife,” you interrupt him, irritated for some reason.
Both the women chirp something out like oh! before their faces twist with confusion.
“I didn’t know you were married,” Bombshell #2 says in a thick New Jersey accent.
Gojo lifts his left hand up, the silver band on his hand glimmering under fluorescent hospice lighting. “Very happily,” he says, as if someone was holding a gun to his head.
Bombshell #1 crosses her arms, and you try not to stare at how nice her boobs look in the low scoop-neck jaguar print top she was wearing. You were no better than a man. And now you’re pissed off at the idea of Gojo glancing down too, but a flick of your gaze up to his face tells you he’s safe. For now.
“You weren’t married when I asked you if you were a month ago,” Bombshell #1 sneers at him. It’s true, the math wouldn’t make sense, but in his defense, this marriage was a fraud.
“Or when you took me out for dinner last week after I bought my house,” Bombshell #2 snarls with an undertone of hurt.
Gojo clears his throat beside you before pointing at Bombshell #2. “How is that, by the way?” he asks in an attempt to change the subject, “the half acre down on Maple Ave, right? You, uh, enjoying the pool?”
The woman let out an offended scoff and–were her eyes sheening with tears?? She puts her hands on her hips. “No. Mine is the three bedroom house with the cedar gazebo on 14th street.”
Her friend next to her rolls her eyes and smacks her gum between her cheek. “I’m the one that bought the half acre down on Maple Ave, jerk. Ugh!” She grabs her friend’s arm with a high-pitched hmph noise leaving her throat, and you can hear the other one sniffling subtly as she wobbles on her heels with her friend’s pull of her arm.
Right before leaving the two of you alone, Bombshell #1 turns to you and says, “I hope you find someone who treats you better,” and then they storm off together down the hallway, their perfectly blow-dried hair bouncing in sync with each stomp.
You blink at the sight, a little flabbergasted from the interaction, and then flit your faze up to Gojo. You see him awkwardly scratching at the back of his head with a grimace on his stupidly handsome face.
“That’s what you get for being a manwhore,” you tell him.
“I’m not a manwhor–”
“You went on a date with another woman while you were maaaaarrrieeeddd?!” you coo as you let out a fake gasp and slap your cheeks with your hands, “despicable, really.”
He lets out some disgruntled noise, the source coming from deep within his throat. “No. We weren’t fake-married yet,” he vindicates himself, “and it wasn’t a date. I just bought her dinner as a congrats for buying a house. Not a big deal. I do it for all my clients.”
“Satoru. You do realize you’re leading these women on, right? I mean, I’ve seen the way you talk to them. Even if you think you’re just being friendly, please know that your definition of friendly is most people’s definition of flirting.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s true.”
He raises an eyebrow as he glances down at you. “Alright, how come this flirting in disguise of friendliness hasn’t worked on you then?”
You scoff in disbelief before crossing your arms. Maybe you did deserve a better fake husband. “You’re never friendly with me. You’re always rude to me.”
“What? I’m not always rude to you.”
“Well, you’re certainly much more rude to me than you are to other women,” you say, tapping the tip of your shoe with irritation.
“Can we not do this right now? We’re in the middle of a hospice.”
“God, you’re such a cop-out,” you mumble as you forcefully push past him towards the hallway that’ll lead you to your mother. You can hear that Gojo’s on your tail, following you down one of the more dimly lit hallways, and you can tell he needs to stall the strides of his Daddy Longlegs to not overtake your pace.
“What the fuck is a cop-out?” he asks you from behind.
“Look it up on urban dictionary, Grandpa. Unless you don’t know what the Internet is, either,” you spat.
You waltz right up to your mother’s room just in time to see a nurse making her way out with a clipboard in her hands. She glances over to you when she sees you approaching in her periphery.
“Hi! How can I help you?” she asks.
“Is it alright if we visit my mother?” you ask her.
“Oh! Sure, let me just clean her bed pan really quick.”
Your brow furrows. “B-Bedpan?? Why is she using a bedpan??”
The nurse stops in her movements. “Well, yesterday and today, that’s just what she has decided to use.”
You immediately become hostile. “That’s not right. She never needed to use one at home. Why is she suddenly using one here? Is that not a clear sign of deterioration? The restrooms must not be kept well enough here if she doesn’t want to use them.”
The nurse becomes something meek, her eyes widening as her mouth gapes slightly. “Ma’am,” she squeaks out, “we see this commonly with patients as they begin to adjust to hospice life. We’ll urge her to use the restroom, but as of right now, we need to prioritize what she finds most comfortable.”
Your expression softens, your shoulders relaxing from their tense position, and you duck your head a little with guilt. “Right…I’m sorry.”
The nurse presses her lips together with a well-meaning smile before shuffling into the room and closing the door behind her. You sigh and lean your back against the wall next to the number plate, cheeks flushing slightly from the confrontation. You have no idea how loud your voice was or who heard you. But you try to convince yourself that you’re just stressed and trying to look out for your mother, although the guilt still sits.
You glance up to see Gojo staring at you with slightly wide eyes, his hands shoved into his pockets, and he tilts his head to study your expression.
“What?” you snap at him.
“Are you doing okay?”
“Just fine, thanks.”
“Are you sure?”
“Satoru,” you cut his questioning off by raising a palm into the air, “just—…just stop.”
His brow furrows together slightly, but before he can show any further concern, the nurse exits the room and holds the door open for the two of you.
“All set!” she chirps, and Gojo moves to hold the door open in her stead, and then the nurse bolts down to disappear somewhere down the hallway.
You hear Gojo let out a small huff of a scoff as he stares down in the direction the nurse ran off in. “Glad to know I’m not the only one that’s scared of you.”
You roll your eyes and walk into the room through the open door.
Your mother lays in her bed, looking out the window with her hands resting on top of layers of white linen sheets, her skin looking slightly paler than usual. You approach her bedside slowly and she finally turns her head to look at you.
“Hi mom,” you gently greet her, sitting down on the stool beside her bed, “how are you doing?”
Her eyes dart across the features of your face, and you briefly glance towards the wall to the right where you see Gojo standing from a slight distance.
“Oh, hi dear,” she says with a smile, and relief washes over you.
You match her smile with your own. “Mom, I brought someone here to see you.” You glance over at Gojo, who starts to close distance now as he approaches the foot of the bed, “this is Satoru, my husband.”
Your mother’s eyes widen, “Oh! I know him,” she scoldingly swats a hand at you, like you’ve embarrassed her somehow by assuming that she doesn’t know who he is, “he’s my neighbor!”
You sigh, “yes mom, the one that fixed the A/C?” You attempt to finish her sentence for her.
She looks confused for a moment, but slightly nods as if to avoid any further confusion for herself. “But—…but, why…” she trails off and then looks at you, “I’m sorry, are you my nurse?”
Your shoulders drop slightly. “No, mom, it’s me. Your daughter. Do you remember?”
Her face scrunches before it entirely relaxes to keep some image of composure despite the haze you know she feels in her head. “Oh…yes, yes…my little girl. I remember you, of course!”
Your eyes become layered with a slight sheen of tears, “I’m glad.”
“Where’s your father?” she asks, “he said he’d bring me some…oh dear, what—…he said he’d bring me tea. I’ve been waiting.”
“Mom, dad is—” you pause for a moment to think on your feet. You could either tell the truth, or a little white lie. You never know what to do. And either one comes with either guilt or sorrow. “Well, he’ll be here soon, I just wanted to come see you.”
“Oh okay…” she trails off, her eyes squinting at you once more with that same look of confusion on it, but then they drift towards Gojo. “Oh you’re a very handsome young man! You look just like my neighbor.”
Your eyes flicker up to Gojo, and he walks up to your side by your mom’s bed. “Yes, Mrs. l/n, I am your neighbor.”
“With the lemon tree!”
“The avocado tree,” you correct her with a small sigh. “And he’s my husband mom. And also our neighbor.”
“Oh I see I see…” she says, looking up at him, and in a moment that shocks you, she holds her hand up for him to take.
There’s a slight moment of surprise on his face too, but he accepts her frail hand in his, and you glance over to your mom to see her look at him with some look of peace on her face.
“Oh, sit down here, won’t you?” she tells him, and you both blink at her in a moment of hesitation.
He pulls a stool up to the side of the bed right next to you and takes a seat down onto it. Your mother holds his hand with both of hers now, soothing her palm over the back of it before she taps on it lightly.
“Oh, my little girl is very sweet. She would bring me flowers from the garden when she was,” she glances at you, confused once more, “well I remember her when she was so little but she looks…a little older now. Ah, but she would bring me such pretty flowers.”
Your heart aches in your chest. You never knew what version of you your mother would remember. Some days, you’re still supposed to be an angsty teenager that shuts doors in her face, some days you were just as you are right now, and other days, you were just her little girl. And it confused her, the image of not seeing you in the way that she remembers. In the only way she knew how.
“You’ll take good care of my sweet girl, won’t you?” she asks him.
And it knocks the wind out of you.
It drops your heart to the center of the earth.
The thought that, after so many moments where she doesn’t remember you, she still knows that you’re someone she wants to keep safe.
Your mouth gapes slightly, tears welling in your eyes and you try your best to blink them away, but you see Gojo’s hand slip out from being held by your mother’s hands, to instead use both of his to hold hers. Your eyes snap to his face, and you see that same earnest expression you’ve been growing used to seeing these days.
“Yes,” he responds, eye contact level with hers, “I will.”
A small puff of air leaves your lips, a single tear streaming down your cheek and you quickly swipe your trembling fingers to remove any evidence of it before you huff out a shaky, “excuse me.” And then you’re standing up off the stool, and in a few hurried steps across the room as more tears continue to stream down your face, you make it to the door to push out into the suffocating air of the hallway.
It’s hard to breathe, huffs and puffs barely leaving your lips as you struggle to pull air into your lungs while you storm down the hallway at a fast pace, your heels clicking underneath you in a way that only sets you off further. Suddenly, all the sounds around you make you sick to your stomach, a wave of nausea washing over you, and your nose burns with the intensity of the tears that continue to stream down your face. A few hospice staff look at you with concerned expressions, and you eventually reach a heavy-duty door that leads you out into a secluded staircase hallway where the dim lighting serves to relax at least some of your senses, but you still feel like you’re about to pass out.
Even in the haze of your emotions, there’s this glimmer of a memory that comes to mind. One from when you were younger and you were pushed on the playground at school. You cried and cried and cried in your mother’s arms, but even then, you didn’t want her to baby you. You would say to her, I’m a big girl now! in that same way a child knows nothing of what it truly means to brave the world.
That little girl had no idea that one day, there would be moments where she wouldn’t be remembered as her mother’s little girl anymore.
No matter how old you grow, you will always be my little girl, your mother’s voice echoes to you, the feeling of her squeezing you in her arms as she holds your sobbing little form in hers casting a ghost sensation across your skin.
In a mother’s eyes, you’ll always be her baby.
And that’s why it hurts.
Because it’s all fake.
It’s phony.
It’s not real.
This arrangement you have with Gojo.
And if your mother were to die tomorrow, there would be no one to take care of her little girl anymore.
Not in the way she believes there will be.
Of all the white lies, this one pierces you straight through your heart in a way that leaves you gasping for air.
Amidst your whirlwind of thoughts, you hear the door push open harshly, and when you glance over, you see Gojo standing in this dimly lit hallway as he turns his head quickly to the left and sees you standing there.
“Hey,” he says, catching his breath as he lightly jogs up to you, “hey, hey, hey,” he repeats with more concern now when he sees the state you’re in, and he seamlessly pulls you into a hug, your cheek pressing against his chest that feels warm even through the fabric of his suit jacket and shirt, and that familiar scent of him completely engulfs you.
You sob quietly, wiping your snot on his tie and your tears on the felt fabric beside it, your hands balled into tiny fists at your chest, squeezed between the two of you. You feel him tuck your head under his chin and his arms wrap around you tighter. You don’t even realize it at first, but suddenly, it has become easier to breathe.
Then, you wail, and you cry, and you sob, because you don’t have the words to even explain how you feel, about not just this, but with everything, a buildup of everything that has been suffocating you in your life that just comes crashing down on you all at once.
“I know,” he says, his palm resting on the back of your head as he holds your face to his chest, his voice soothing in your ears while you sob until there’s nothing left to cry. “I know.”
You two stay like this for another minute or so as you come down from the cries, your remnant sniffling echoing in the hallway while you wipe more of your snot on his jacket. You make the first move to pull your face away from his chest, but he still keeps his arms wrapped around you when you look up at him.
With your gaze darting across his face, you take in the blue in his eyes. Eyes that are looking at you so softly it’s suddenly hard to breathe once more. And when those eyes flit to your lips, your mouth parts slightly as you two breathe in unison.
It’s possible that you could have dreamed the moment you saw him lean down slightly towards you, his eyes still set on your lips, but it didn’t matter because you’re pushing him away with strong fists before you can even register the thought in your head.
He lets go of you entirely, his eyes wide once more, and you glance down at your feet.
A tender moment, just like on the roof, broken just because you can’t handle that—…that way, that intense way that he looks at you. New rule, no looking at me longingly like you want to kiss me. I won’t allow it.
“I want to go home,” you whisper, still examining your shoes. And you suddenly feel embarrassed that he had to see you this way. He’s supposed to be scared and intimidated by you, not holding you in his arms while you cry.
He’s silent for a moment, but you can tell he’s searching for things to say. “You don’t want to say bye to your mom before we go?”
You swipe your palm against the wetness on your cheek. “No. I just want to go home.”
“y/n,” he tried to convince you.
You finally look up at him. “Please.”
He breathes in a few breaths as he studies the features of your face in a way that makes you feel so seen that it’s frightening. But he slowly nods, then says,
“Okay.”
.
.
.
.
.
[end of chapter 4]
a/n. hi friendsss i hope you enjoyed :'') yea like i said at the a/n in the beginning, this chapter is a slight off-tangent from last chapter, but ch5 will continue with a lot of the stuffs that were brought up in ch3. but yea i wanted to explore the whole process of emotions reader would go through putting her mom in hospice, since it kinda felt like a big thing, hence why it got its own chapter. aaa i hope to see you in the next one!! much love from me :''0
➸ take me to chapter five!
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#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader angst#jjk gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#smut#fluff#angst#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo x you#long fic#jjk fanfiction#jjk series#romance#fake dating#fake marriage#neighbors au#ongoing series#humor#slow burn#mutual pining#enemies to lovers#gojo x reader series
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lost in wonderland | 𝐩𝐬𝐡
୨୧ pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 12k ୨୧ genre: smut, semi-angst, fluff ୨୧ tags: mentions of drug use, fake dating au, rockstar!sunghoon, popstar!reader, enemies to lovers au, jerk to down bad sunghoon, pet names (baby, doll, love, etc.), dirty talk, nipple play, oral (f receiving), belly bulging, spanking, unprotected sex, creampie ୨୧ synopsis: Park Sunghoon, one half of popular rock band Into Eden, is on thin ice with his management and the general public. What does his manager Jay decide to do? Set him up with the leader of rising pop girl group PrismHeart. And while it starts as two stubborn people living in a lie, growing feelings cannot hold anything but the truth. ➸ This one's dedicated to my lovely betas: Ley @pars-ley), Ally @lovetaroandtaemin, Kiki @wonwovy, & Lola @monamipencil)! I'm so grateful to y’all and the love you’ve given this story; I hope everyone else loves it too 🤍 Also the ending song and inspiration for the title is from Boys Like Girls's song "Lost in Wonderland"!
“PARK SUNGHOON: ANOTHER HEARTBREAK UNDER HIS BELT?”
“IS HEESEUNG TIRED OF HIS BANDMATE’S GAMES? IS ‘INTO EDEN’ IN TROUBLE OF DISBANDING?”
“DID SUNGHOON RUIN ANOTHER GIRL GROUP, AND HIS EX’S CAR?”
Sunghoon laughs at the headlines plastered across his manager’s desk. The gossip rags are the only vibrant thing in the office, the monochrome black and white color scheme creating a strict atmosphere that suffocates the rock star to no end. Who knew such bullshit could provide such humor?
The sound dies on Sunghoon’s tongue when he sees Jay’s displeasure pervade the older man’s entire face. His arms are crossed, and Sunghoon can see the veins in Jay’s neck tighten.
“You think this is funny?” Jay asks, his voice even-keeled, but his body language anything but.
“No, Mr. Park.”
“Hoon.” Jay says his talent’s name with admonishment. He sits back down in his chair across from Sunghoon, the large desk separating them. “You know I hate when you call me that.”
“What should I call you, Mr. Park? Bro? Dude? J-Man?”
Jay can’t help the chuckle on his lips, but he shuts it down to go back to the discussion at hand. “Simply put, the label’s pissed. All that we should see two months before your tour is good press, not this shit. And you know Yeji is going to do more than just comment in a couple of tabloids.”
Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “She has nothing to say, besides the fact that it ended mutually.”
“You call making out with Lia ‘ending mutually’?”
Sunghoon raises his hands in defense, a smirk on his lips. “Don’t know what you were told, but that happened after we broke up.”
“Okay, that’s it.” Jay takes the multitude of tabloids and throws them in the trash next to his desk. “The label is going to chop my balls off if I don’t fix the problems you created.”
Sunghoon, in his mind, isn’t a problem child, per se. He simply pales in comparison to his golden boy best friend and musical partner, Lee Heeseung. It isn’t his fault that Heeseung is squeaky clean. The only crazy thing the guy has ever done was dye his hair red for their recent cover shoot.
Sure, Heeseung has been committed to one person for years, long before the two men ever became a name in the public eye. The guy never partakes in recreational activities, choosing to spend his free time with his girlfriend or in video game chat rooms rather than in nightclubs like his counterpart. And he’s always been a media darling, giving signed photos to fans and providing the paparazzi with his undivided attention without complaint.
Sunghoon likes to live without restrictions or red tape. If he has to be judged for that, constantly not measuring up to the pedestal his best friend lives on, so be it.
“It’s time for Plan B,” Jay says, breaking Sunghoon from his thoughts.
After Sunghoon’s brows furrow in confusion, Jay turns on the TV stationed behind his desk. The news video on display shows the members of PrismHeart, the label’s rising girl group, attending the AMAs with bright smiles and matching sparkly ensembles.
“This is Plan B?” Sunghoon asks, releasing a breathless laugh.
“No.” Jay points to you in the center of the LED screen. Your hair billows in the wind as your face shines with the same quality of the cameras capturing your essence on the red carpet.
Sunghoon is taken aback by you without hearing you speak a single word, and he suspects something devious brewing behind his manager’s eyes when he says, “She is.”
The nightclub is packed with D-list celebrities and upcoming starlets, ready to post to their respective social media accounts. With the right touch, the news will work its way to the trending page without fail.
Thankfully, Jay, Sunghoon’s manager, knows how to set the scene for a piece of tabloid fodder. It’s part of his job to make sure that, for better or worse, Sunghoon gets his time in the spotlight.
As for you, all you’re expected to do is mingle with your new “boyfriend,” look pretty in your little black dress, and set the trap.
You asked your own manager, Momo, if you could bring one of the girls along to break the ice and make the “meet cute” look more believable, and both she and Jay agreed.
So here you are, sitting across from Yujin with a strawberry martini in one hand and your cellphone in the other, waiting for the signal.
“He is pretty cute. You can’t deny that.” Yujin scrolls through Sunghoon’s Instagram feed, multiple gym pics and rehearsal photos lining the grid of his main profile.
When Momo produced Jay’s offer to her, she marketed it to you as the perfect way for PrismHeart to skyrocket from simmering stardom into true mega-fame. All it took was a handful of white lies and scheduled meetups. No harm, no foul, right?
Like a devoted group leader, hands in your lap and a demure smile on your face, you said yes. You would do anything for your team and the girls who were your second family at this point. Not disclosing the truth was an easy thing to do, and nobody’s feelings would be sacrificed in the process.
It would also be a welcome distraction from the destruction of your last relationship. The back and forth with Jake proved to be too much on both your work and personal lives, 7 months of happiness leading to a slow and bitter end.
Maybe a cute boy with no attachments and some light flirting could be a nice way to bounce back into the game. Then, when a real relationship would be possible for you again, you’d be ready.
You nod and take another sip of your drink, the alcohol leaving a burning aftertaste in your throat. “He is,” you agree. “He’s terrible at time management, though, clearly.”
Yujin rolls her eyes and continues scrolling. “Take off your micromanaging hat tonight, babe. Have fun. Kiss your new fake beau.”
“Say it louder,” you chide, lips on the rim of your glass again. The drink was taking the edge off of your nerves, but you still couldn’t shake the desire to make sure things went perfectly.
For both work and personal reasons, you need this to go off without a hitch.
A second later, your phone buzzes on the top of the bar. Sunghoon’s face lights up your screen, along with his message.
[Received at 10:46 PM]: Walking in with Jungwon. U?
You internally roll your eyes at the cryptic text. Jake was so good at making his messages personable, and although you could put a dagger in him for breaking your heart, the least you can do is recognize that was one of his better qualities.
You just hope Sunghoon is better in person than he is on the page. Or phone, so to speak.
[Sent at 10:48]: By the bar with Yujin.
Sunghoon saunters through the club’s double doors, the notorious half of Into Eden smiling ear to ear with his friend Jungwon in tow. Your ex Jake and Jungwon hung in similar circles due to their statuses as popular actors, but Jungwon was always nice when you ran into him.
He greets you with a smile but stops short when he sees your best friend, his cheeks turning a red hue. “Sorry, you’re just even more beautiful in person.”
As Yujin stutters over her next words, sharing a similar blush with the man in front of her, Sunghoon saunters over to your side and grins. As you look closer at him, you can discern the pink around his irises and the flimsy edges of his smile.
He’s high. So much rides on his cooperation on this plan and he’s fucking high?
“Park Sunghoon, pleased to meet you.” He gives your hand a sloppy kiss when your fingers link together in a handshake, and you retract immediately. Sunghoon pays no mind to your distaste, immediately ordering a beer and downing it the second it slides across the bar.
“Do you think you should be mixing alcohol with…whatever’s in your system?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.” Sunghoon winks at you and scoots closer on his barstool to you, tracing the skin of your thighs with his eyes. “I think this is the part where we dance?”
You scoff and down what’s left of your martini. You flag the bartender down for another, incredulous but trying to mask your anger with another drink. “Maybe we should get to know each other first?”
“What’s there to know? Jay gave me all the cliffnotes this morning. And we can just learn as we go, you know?”
A part of you wants to run into this without a roadmap, but it’s not in your nature. And it would be a lot easier to let yourself relax if you knew you were walking into this plan with a person as serious as you are about it.
But no, you get a stoned rockstar as your new “boyfriend” instead.
The bartender hands you your second martini, and you hop off the barstool with it in your hand. You take a light sip before you motion to the dance floor. “Let’s go.”
You have a tight grasp on the stem of your glass as Sunghoon takes your free hand to walk towards the dance floor. You notice Yujin and Jungwon dancing in a far corner together, the two of them hitting it off incredibly well.
Your hips sway to the song, your body trying to follow the music that’s thumping loudly through the speakers. It’s a remix you don’t recognize, but you enjoy it nonetheless. You smile as the pulse of the song thrums through your veins, your nerves at their lowest since arriving at the club.
What you don’t expect is for Sunghoon’s hands to settle on your hips, pulling you closer to fall into rhythm together. He moves well considering his prowess lies in rock rather than pop.
“You’re a pretty good dancer for a bassist,” you tease.
“I have a lot of talents,” he remarks back, the club lights gleaming across his face in purple and pink strobes.
He looks better in person than in all the interviews and tabloids you read prior to meeting him tonight. In your efforts to gain intel for the meetup, you couldn’t deny how well he cleaned up, even when he acted poorly.
The slosh of your drink makes you stop dancing for a second, and you laugh. “Probably shouldn’t have brought this on the–”
Sunghoon captures your lips in a searing kiss. The taste of ale lingers on your tongue the longer both of your mouths are linked. He is a good kisser, no doubt, but where does he get off assuming you wanted him to? All you had to show for tonight so far was some small conversation. Is that his typical green light to dive straight into making out?
You immediately push him off, the contents of your martini glass spilling on him in the process. “What the hell?” Sunghoon asks, touching his jacket and feeling the leather soaked in sugary liquor.
You’re stunned at how brash yet nonchalant he is about what he just did, caring more for his clothes than your personal space that he just invaded.
“You’re such a bastard,” you whisper loud enough for only Sunghoon to hear, his eyes immediately widening at your words. You walk away from him stunned and drop the glass on the counter where you were initially sitting. Not wanting to take Yujin away from her success of a night, you run outside to a handful of cameras flashing and your failure coating your skin.
Late into the next morning, you sip a hefty cup of tea for breakfast as you scroll through your latest mentions. The socials are blowing up from your recent outing with Yujin, Jungwon, and Sunghoon. You half expected to wake up to the ending of your career, but to your relief, the event was nothing short of a success.
Despite your embarrassment on the drive home and sadness before bed last night, your followers and many of Into Eden’s fans seem to have taken the bait. Some took shots of you exiting the nightclub, Sunghoon following shortly behind with a smile on his face. They also edited short clips of the two of you on the dance floor. Incredibly, none of them caught your mishap with your martini on video.
Better yet, they found the prospect of you and Sunghoon not just exciting but fitting somehow.
@edenenthusiast: hope she can whip him back into shape, miss the old hoon.
@sunghoonsluv71: sad he’s off the market but they’re actually cute together???
@prismshearts_09: she looks so happy!! suck it @jaeyun_sim.
In the next second, your phone blows up from a mention on Sunghoon’s most recent story. Your handle is hidden in a far corner of the black screen but the words plastered across the screen say everything they need to.
“Love at first spill? 🍸😏”
All of your band members and Momo light up your group chat with their excitement. In the chaos of the chat, you thumb-up a text from Yujin about Jungwon giving her his number.
Then, a single text pops up from Sunghoon that makes your glee transform into anxiety.
[Received at 11:52 AM]: Lunch on me? :/
You feel a part of your chest flutter. There’s a hope that maybe in the light of day you’ll get a chance to see the real Sunghoon. No drugs, no cameras, no need to impress. Maybe if he’s away from the attention, he’ll realize you deserve an apology for his actions.
[Sent at 11:56 AM]: Lunch and dinner or get lost.
You see the quick succession of bubbles following your text, his response hot on the heels of your last message that he reacts to with a laughing emoji.
[Received at 11:58] I think I can handle that.
You sit across from Sunghoon on the balcony of his apartment, two BLTs cooked to perfection on the patio table in front of you. He kept to his word, laying a spread of food out for you in exchange for your time.
You quirk an eyebrow. “Did you make these yourself?” You ask.
Sunghoon shakes his head, bashful. “Jay helped me. Not only is he a great manager, but he’s actually an amazing cook.”
You nod and smile, grabbing a bite as Sunghoon’s blush and your quiet chewing fills the silence.
“I wanted to say that yesterday got out of hand, and I shouldn’t have gotten wasted before meeting you. It was unprofessional, and I apologize.”
You tap your fingers on the wicker table, your gut warning you to be cautious. “Did Jay tell you to say that?”
Sunghoon stutters on whatever words he planned to say next and quickly runs a hand through his hair. “I mean it, what difference does it make? I really am sorry, okay?”
You roll your eyes. “So you’re apologizing using someone else’s script? That’s supposed to make me believe you?”
Sunghoon scoffs and presses his palms to the table. “You’re fucking impossible, you know that?”
“I’m impossible because you got loaded and decided to stick your tongue down my throat? Oh, and I bet the next words out of your mouth were going to be how stubborn I am because I expected you to actually want to make up for how shit you acted last night.”
“Wow. Are you just mad because you didn’t expect to like me kissing you that much?” Sunghoon says his question with a pestering but sultry tone, the words completely rhetorical.
You huff and make your exit from the table. “Fuck this, I should never have come.”
Before you can walk away from the balcony, Sunghoon takes your wrist in his hand. His eyes express his frustration, his mouth in a grim line. “Don't leave, please. Can we just pretend that the last twelve hours never happened? Start from scratch. We both know we need each other here.”
You take a deep breath and cross your arms, walking back to your side of the table with a stone expression. “I think it’s a good idea to create some rules for…this arrangement.”
Sunghoon stares you down, still irritated but agreeable. “I’m all ears.”
“First and foremost,” you start, “whenever we’re scheduled to meet, no drugs. Do it in your spare time.”
Sunghoon nods. “That’s fair.”
“Second, no PDA unless there’s people around that need to notice it. And we have to agree on it before either one of us initiates anything.”
“What,” Sunghoon laughs, “like a secret bat signal?”
“Sure Batman,” you jest. Does he have to joke every time he decides to speak? Against your better judgment, a small piece of you finds it endearing.
He ponders the thought and then taps two fingers to the side of his neck. “How’s that?”
“Fine,” you agree. “Do you have any other rules you think we should add?”
The word “we” slips so easily from your tongue. In spite of the way he stirs up every ounce of frustration inside of you, already you see him on the same team as you. That has to be a good sign.
He rubs his index finger and thumb under his chin, half teasing but half reflecting on what he could add.
“Only one more thing,” Sunghoon says. “When we don’t have plans to spend time together, what we do in our private time is our business.”
You raise your hands. “Not a problem for me.”
Sunghoon reaches his hand across the table. “Deal?”
What the outcome of your arrangement will be besides the expected results remains up in the air. Whether it will reap what you want is really anyone’s guess. But if it means you do your duties as a good bandmate, you will take whatever comes at you.
You grasp his fingers in yours, shaking them gingerly. “Deal.”
Into Eden’s most popular song “Salvation” plays on the stereo speakers in the photography studio of Vogue magazine’s headquarters. The two men on set act incredibly comfortable, Heeseung’s arm wrapped around Sunghoon’s shoulder. The older musician’s red hair is stark against the chosen clothing for the shoot, but he makes it work.
He always does, Sunghoon thinks with a repressed sigh. His hair is slicked back in contrast to Heeseung’s messy mop of wind-blown tresses, creating the contrast between the two that highlights the shoot’s concept. TWO SOULS COLLIDE: THE LEADING MUSICIANS OF NEW AGE ROCK.
Sunghoon stays still for the next shot of him and Heeseung, but he can’t help himself from following you with his eyes when you enter the studio with a bag of breakfast treats and a to-go tray of coffees.
He did not expect to see you show up to his photoshoot, and Jay didn’t give him any warning for the event on his schedule being one you would share space with. He’s not against it though. In the sea of gray suits and media lackeys, you’re a breath of fresh air. You have already taken his attention away from the mundane nature of the task he’s assigned to complete today.
He can’t deny that Jay’s plan has already made shifts to his image in the public eye. It’s only been a week of public paparazzi candids and social media mentions shared between his and your accounts, and fans are eating it up.
And, though he might never say it out loud, something about your presence levels him in a way Jay’s and Heeseung’s doesn’t. He quantifies it to you also understanding the pressures of the music industry, the feeling of someone outside of his circle who can relate to him foreign but welcome. Your relationship may be manufactured, but he has to look at the positives it’s already created in his life.
Jay runs over to you with a bright smile. “You’re an angel, thank you.”
You grin and take a breakfast sandwich from the bag to give to Sunghoon’s manager. “Least I could do for a member of my boyfriend’s camp.”
Jay winks over the rim of his coffee cup and goes back to the photographer’s side, overseeing the shots with a bit of sausage sticking out of his mouth.
You give Sunghoon a slight wave and stay a few steps away from the large lights capturing the shadows and highlights on the men’s faces.
You haven’t met Heeseung up to this point, so interacting with Sunghoon’s bandmate will add a new dimension to your “relationship.”
In contrast with Sunghoon, Heeseung exudes seriousness in every movement. You’re unsure if it’s because of his maturity or dedication to everything he does, similar to yourself, but it shows in the way the men stand next to each other. Where Sunghoon is fluid like water, transforming into whatever he needs to be, Heeseung is stoic and certain of himself, solid like a stone.
You wonder how such different people managed to be friends and bandmates. Then again, you’re in a group with four other girls, and your personalities are anything but similar.
“Alright, I think it’s time for individual shots. Mr. Park, we’ll do yours first!”
Heeseung runs to his chair in front of the vanity. It’s set up in a corner of the room for retouching his and Sunghoon’s hair and makeup. He beckons you over with a polite smile, and you oblige the silent request.
“Sorry I haven’t been able to greet you since you came in. You know how it is,” Heeseung’s lips turn up at the corners as his makeup artist dabs at his forehead with a clean powder puff. “I’m Lee Heeseung.”
You respond with your name and shake his hand, your nerves spiking. You expected Heeseung to be both attractive and polite, but it’s another level in person compared to his media appearances.
“Have you always been interested in music?” You ask.
Heeseung nods, still smiling. “Since I was old enough to hold a guitar. Both of us, actually. I don’t know if Hoon told you, but he was the one that started the band.”
Your eyes widen in surprise. “No, he didn’t say anything at all. He doesn’t really talk about his work. Neither of us do.”
Heeseung laughs. “Yeah. He’s a closed book a lot of the time. But he’s got a great soul, he just doesn’t let a lot of people see it.”
You look down at your shoes, smiling. “I’d offer you a bagel, but I think the team would kill me if I let you mess up your makeup.”
Heeseung releases another chuckle. “Save it for Hoon, then. Make it a little lunch date.” When the photographer’s assistant calls for Heeseung, he winks at you and leaps off of the chair.
Sunghoon finds you in the next second, smiling warmly before taking the bag of food from your hands. “Please tell me there's an everything bagel in here.”
You nod. “With extra cream cheese.”
He beckons you to the free armchairs on the opposite side of the makeshift vanities. You sit down across from him and find your croissant in the bag, ready to eat it whole at this point.
“You could’ve eaten before I finished. You didn’t have to wait for me.”
You shrug and bite into your food. “Force of habit. I always make sure the girls eat before I do.”
He nods and takes a chunk out of his own bagel. “Like a good leader. I knew Jay liked you for a reason.”
You scoff, practically choking on the egg and cheese in the croissant. “Says the guy who started this whole thing. You didn’t tell me you were the one who made Into Eden.”
Sunghoon shrugs, his mood shifting. “It never came up. Besides, Heeseung took the proverbial role of leader a long time ago, anyway.”
You shake your head, picking at your food. “I bet everyone would give you more of a lead if you proved you could handle the responsibility.”
Sunghoon is taken aback, there’s no doubt about that. When has he not been serious and responsible about his commitment to the band, save for the past year?
Sure, he hasn’t made great decisions recently, especially with his new…habit, simply put. But he’s never stopped caring, no matter how the tabloids turned on him or Heeseung overshadowed him when he began to fall short.
Maybe he needs to put some good will back in, even if he feels justified for being jaded at this point in his career.
Wanting to turn the tide of the conversation, Sunghoon spots a random guitar in the studio and grabs it eagerly. He sits back down with a newfound interest, plucking the strings to ensure it’s in tune.
You laugh and stuff the crumb-filled wrapper in the bag. “Avoiding the subject, I see.”
“Hey,” Sunghoon defends himself. “When I see a guitar, it’s only natural to play it.” He strums a few chords, satisfied. “Have any requests?”
You lift your shoulders, intrigued.
Sunghoon begins playing the opening strings of Oasis’s “Champagne Supernova.” It’s a bittersweet song, one with a beautiful instrumental but somber lyrics. Seems fitting for the man playing it somehow.
He begins to sing the first lines, the fried timbre of his vocals lulling you into a state of relaxation. By the introduction of the first chorus, you’re singing along with him, matching his tone with your saccharine harmonies.
It makes the crowd around you pause to look on for a moment, mesmerized at two stars seeming to shine at the same second. They must resign it to fate, two talents coming together in music and love, unaware of the reality of your situation.
Or maybe, they see the shades of something blossoming that you and Sunghoon have yet to recognize yourselves.
You flip through the newest issue of Vogue, excited to read Sunghoon’s part of the interview. It takes a handful of turns before you make it to the spread, the interview intertwined with shots of Heeseung and Sunghoon clad in V-necks and leather jeans. Their outfits coincide with the grunge aesthetic. You flip through the discussion about their newest album, “Under the Sun,” until one specific segment catches your eye.
VOGUE: So, it’s safe to assume this new album is about dedication, or the commitment, to one’s desires. It shows in your new single off this album, “All For You,” as you said Heeseung, but how do you feel about it Sunghoon?
PSH: I agree with Hee a hundred percent. Sometimes you don’t realize how devoted you are to something or someone until you’re caught in the middle of it. And sometimes that can be beautiful and intoxicating, a reason to go on that keeps you alive in so many ways.
VOGUE: I sense something or someone on your mind besides the album.
PSH: You could say that.
You left hours before the boys began their interview. It could’ve been a million things on his mind when the writer made note of his reaction, but you know the online forums and fandoms must be exploding over the snippet.
“Whatcha reading?” Ningning asks. She walks into your kitchen, looking for a cup to fill with ice water. She may live a few apartments down, but she never fails to use her status as the youngest to barge in whenever she wants.
You show her the front cover when she turns her head back in your direction. “His new article just came out.”
“Any mentions of his new love affair?” She wiggles her eyebrows and you threaten to throw the magazine at her head.
“Drop it already, Ning! It’s not real anyway.”
“Come on. The guy is cute, you’re cute, have some fun with it!”
“I would if he didn’t have so many walls up.”
“Like you don’t?” Ningning tests the waters, the air suddenly thick with tension. “You’re always so serious. You know we love you, but you never let yourself loosen up.”
You sigh and drop the magazine on the counter. “There’s a lot of responsibilities on the line. I can’t just shuck them whenever I want.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to worry every second about them, or about us. Let go sometimes, babe.”
Before you can respond, your doorbell rings. You’re both surprised, not expecting anyone to show up today, but you answer the door anyway.
Sunghoon stands before the threshold with a bag of takeout and a shy smile. His eyes are not bloodshot, his outfit looks purposefully put together, and his posture tells you he’s on a mission. “Figured since you brought food last time, I oughta return the favor.”
Ningning saunters up behind you with a smirk, arms still crossed. “Speak of the devil.”
“Easy, that’s not me,” he jokes. “Probably more of an associate.”
Ningning laughs and takes the cue to exit the apartment. “Have fun, you two, but not too much fun!”
You press your hand to the back of your neck, the heat on your cheeks rising at an alarming rate. “Didn’t know we were supposed to meet today.”
“We weren’t,” he admits.
A corner of your mouth quirks up. “I thought whatever we did in our private time was our business. You’re using the space in your schedule to hang out with me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” Sunghoon bops you on the nose with his index finger and drops the bag of takeout on the counter. “I didn’t know what you’d like so I got a little bit of everything. Wontons, crab rangoons, egg rolls…I guess I kinda went overboard, didn’t I?”
You shake your head, the other part of your mouth turning up until your face cracks into a full-blown smile. The uncertainty on his face, the wind-swept hairdo covering a part of his eyes, the rapid motions of his hands taking the containers of food out of the bag.
In any other circumstance, you would consider this an awkward but real first date. And because your heart is not functioning in tandem with your head, you feel the flutters in your stomach all the same. “I’ll eat whatever you brought.”
The sun sets into the clouds surrounding the apartment complexes near yours, the high-rise bathed in orange and yellow hues from the day coming to a close. Your stomach is still overwhelmingly full from the food Sunghoon brought over, but you’re in a comfortable space as you both sit on your couch together watching another episode of New Girl.
“Can I ask you something?”
Sunghoon turns to you, his smile not meeting his eyes. “‘S a free country. But I get to ask you one also. Quid pro quo and all that.”
You ponder how to word your next sentence, not wanting to cross an unspoken boundary. “Why did you start using drugs?”
He sighs, rubbing the palms of his hands on his jeans. “Honestly, I didn’t know the reason until I stopped taking them a few weeks ago…when we started this thing. It helped to take the edge off of things, off of me always worrying about how I was measuring up to Hee. And then they just helped with everything else, until they didn’t.”
Your heart aches at his answer, the explanation one you did not expect to be so in-depth. Like most starlets and singers at your age, it just seemed to be around and available to take whenever you wanted. Not that you or any of the girls in PrismHeart partook, but it was still there.
You didn’t realize that his proclivity started from a place of genuine need for something else. Anything else, if it meant he could escape.
“My turn,” Sunghoon says, turning his full attention to you on the couch. “Why do you never let yourself relax?”
His question and Ningning’s words haunt the deep recesses of your brain in an instant, the unspoken fears inside of you coming to a head as you try to create an answer. “Being able to sing professionally has been something I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. I guess somewhere deep inside I’m worried if I don’t take it seriously, I’ll lose it forever.”
Sunghoon ruminates on your answer before he traces the outline of your hand with his fingers, the touch setting off sparks on your skin. “We’re more alike than I thought.”
You laugh and throw the pillow under your back at him. “What? It’s not like I’m a robot or something.”
He chuckles and stands up from the couch. “Okay, well, either way, we need to liven the mood again.” Sunghoon scrolls through a playlist on his phone and finds a song that immediately makes his face lighten up. “Perfect.”
He connects his phone to your Bluetooth speakers, the guitar riff of The Darkness’s “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” cutting through the silence from moments before.
“What the hell-“
“Stop thinking for five minutes and dance with me or so help me God.” His eyebrows quirk up in an unspoken challenge, and before you can stop yourself and use your logical brain to think first and then decide, you’re up off of your feet with your best cockney accent to match the lead singer’s tone.
You may be off key and breathless, and Sunghoon may look ridiculous as he riffs on an air-guitar, but it’s the first night in years where you’ve truly felt free. No obligations or restrictions are there to stop you from doing what you please.
That night when you go to sleep, you save the ridiculous song to your Apple Music account and think about Sunghoon’s smile before shutting your eyes.
The flash of cameras is nothing new, especially on a red carpet. What adds a unique dynamic to the situation is Sunghoon standing by. He watches you pose for the cameras, the press doting over you for a shot of your outfit and presence at Into Eden’s album launch party.
His eyes on you burn brighter than the lights strung across the space. You blush to yourself and keep smiling for the multitudes of paparazzi. The next minute, Sunghoon puts a hand on the small of your back gently to lead you in the direction of the club a dozen feet or so away.
“Sunghoon, one picture! Just one!”
You turn your eyes to him and press two fingers to your neck, feigning it off as nervousness in front of the public. Sunghoon smirks and pulls you into his chest, letting the vultures beg for more as he holds you close.
He puts a hand up to say goodbye and walks away with you, palms intertwined. Even as you enter the club, seeing Heeseung and his girlfriend Ryujin waiting for you both, Sunghoon doesn’t let go.
“Do you want a drink?” Sunghoon asks, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.
“No thank you.”
“Who are you and what have you done to Sunghoon?” Ryujin asks, mystified at his newfound etiquette.
“He’s still around, Ryu. Just trying to be on his best behavior for once.” Sunghoon ruffles her hair before walking away to greet Jay at the bar riddled with executives.
She huffs and fixes the flyaways Sunghoon caused, but smiles at you when she’s done. “Whatever you’re doing to him, keep it up. I haven’t seen him this way in forever.”
Clearly Ryujin’s not aware of the circumstances of yours and Sunghoon’s relationship, but something has changed in him both in and out of the public eye. Many posts and headlines showcased your numerous outings and discreet meetups in the weeks you’ve spent together. However, there were more moments shared between you that the public had no insight on.
Nights in the recording studio, rehearsals for PrismHeart that turned into goofing off between the both of you, and rides on his motorcycle that almost made your head spin.
It’s hard to tell now where the truth stops and the lies begin, and vice versa. How can you tell yourself the smiles that he gives you aren’t genuine? How do you respond to Ryujin without feeling like your answers are coming from the depths of your heart?
“Babe, there’s that director! Let’s go say hi!” Ryujin runs over to the eponymous man with her hand tightly wrapped around Heeseung’s. He smiles apologetically before being stolen away.
You wait for Sunghoon to come back, but not before you witness Yujin and Jungwon linked arm in arm, followed by the last two people you expected to show up tonight.
Jake’s hair is newly dyed, the ash blond of his hair striking under the lights of the club. He doesn’t notice you, only shakes hands with Jungwon and continues on his path to the bar. His date and Sunghoon’s ex Yeji has her body wrapped tightly around his, even as they walk through the crowds of people.
It’s been months since you last saw him, and in spite of your desire to stay and show your pride for Sunghoon and his newest album, you want nothing more than to run out of the club and never come back. Your heartbeat quickens, the thumps of it rattling your chest with no guarantees it’ll calm down.
Like a magnet, Sunghoon is by your side immediately and looking into your eyes with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Jake’s here. Yeji’s with him.”
Sunghoon scans the crowd and lands on the two at the bar. Jake catches the younger man’s eyes and lifts his drink in congratulations, a smug smirk on his face.
Before he can walk over to the idiot’s spot, you hold onto his arm tightly to stop him. “He’s not worth it, Hoon. Trust me.”
Sunghoon knew enough of your history with the C-list actor from your own admissions and your friend’s anecdotes to want to kick the guy’s teeth in. Jake didn’t just make it harder for you to make your relationship a priority in your life, but he made every issue between the two of you your fault somehow.
And as far as Sunghoon could tell, no-one could be more devoted to the things that mattered to them than you.
“Why the fuck would he show up here?” Sunghoon asks nobody in particular, still fuming at the man’s audacity and his effect on your wellbeing. “The least I can do is show him the door.”
“No, please.” You grip onto the lapels of Sunghoon’s suit jacket, emphasizing your need to have him close. If he leaves you, you might fall apart. “Dance with me?”
Sunghoon’s anger transforms, lightly scoffing at your request with a soft smile to follow. “I don’t think this song is good to dance to, love.”
The term of endearment makes your knees weak, the word on his lips making your fingers tremble against the fabric of his jacket. Yes, the remix of one of Into Eden’s new songs “No Doubt” is more suited for a mosh pit than a couple wanting to dance, but you don’t care. “Dance with me anyway.”
You lead him to the center of the club. Both your worlds look on as you hold him close and try to match the rhythm of the remix. It’s a pointless endeavor, the beat changing right when you think you’ve mastered it. Your attempts to follow make Sunghoon smile. “If it helps, I’m not a big fan of this version of the song. Glad it’s just a B side track.”
You roll your eyes and grin. You rest your head on his chest, deciding to sway softly instead of thinking about the music pumping or the strangers’ passing glances.
“I think we’re breaking rule number two, love,” Sunghoon whispers into the crown of your head.
You move to stare up at him, running two fingers to the side of his neck exposed over the collar of his shirt. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”
In the haze of blinding lights and blank faces, Sunghoon’s is the only one that matters as he bends down and presses your lips to his.
In contrast to the first kiss you ever shared, this one is not entwined with alcohol or unwelcome shock. It’s ingrained with weeks worth of tension and words that you could not read before, the lines between your agreement now crystal clear.
You gladly accept his mouth on yours, your body on fire when his tongue touches the roof of your mouth. His hands slip down to the curve of your hips, squeezing the skin through the confines of your clothes.
The sounds of shuttering cameras and surprised voices intercut with the music are of no priority to you. All that matters is that this kiss never ends. That the feelings you’ve been harboring never have to be concealed again.
Sunghoon walks into Jay’s office with a heavy heart, unsure how to present the situation he will unfold to his manager. He’s been ducking your calls and texts, unsure how to go about his next moves before discussing his predicament with the person he trusts the most in this world, save for Heeseung.
“I could kiss you!” Jay says when he sees Sunghoon walk in, pointing at him with pure glee.
“Please don’t,” Sunghoon responds.
“Streams of ‘All for You’ hit an all-time peak last night, the projected numbers are predicting this record to be your best selling one since the first album, and you’re a golden boy in the press again!” Relief washes over Jay’s face, the success of his plan evident in the easy posture of his body. “Not gonna say I’m a god, but I'm definitely a genius.”
Sunghoon claps his hands together, giving his manager the praise he deserves. “That’s great, Jay. Really.”
“You should be happy, man! We’re on the straight and narrow again. Now I just have to come up with some sweet and easy way to end the whole thing and we’re good to go.”
Sunghoon wants to interject, but Jay continues on with his thoughts, letting them run free out loud. “It should be pretty easy. Just gotta find another event to have you guys attend and then we’ll pull the plug—“
“Jay, I can’t.” Sunghoon blurts out the three words that have been on his mind since he walked into the label’s building. His heart rests in his throat as he holds nothing back. “I like her. Really.”
Jay stops walking around the room and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He blows the hair in front of his face, puzzled. “Well, that’s a pickle.”
“I didn’t mean for it to go this far,” Sunghoon admits, because it’s the truth. He never intended on actually finding you endearing, funny, attractive, all the positive adjectives he can come up with in his mind. “And then the album party happened…and I just can’t.”
Jay sits down at his desk, his face becoming a mask of professionalism. “You know that’s not possible, Sunghoon. I mean, think about it. She has her band, you have yours. It would be a disaster trying to keep it up. The only reason Hee and Ryu are still together is because she isn’t involved in any of this shit.”
Sunghoon shakes his head, vaguely listening to his manager’s words but not giving them weight. “You don’t know her like I do.”
Jay shrugs. “You may be right. But you could barely handle a relationship, real or fake, when this started. Do you think a real one is manageable right now?”
Sunghoon leans back into the armchair, some of his manager’s words hitting too close to home to deny. Would he truly be able to keep a true relationship with you alive when he was always under public pressure and eventual scrutiny?
Sunghoon walks out of the office with more questions than answers, more unsure than he was before.
You sit in your bed, undecided on whether you should try to text Sunghoon again or not. The downpour outside reminds you of the onslaught of emotions pooling in your gut, a mixture of hurt and anxiety weighing heavy on your heart.
He kisses you because you both wanted him to and then he decides to leave you without a single word for days? What kind of sense does that make?
Yujin and Ningning want to cut his heart out with a rusty knife, but you assure them you’re as confused as he probably is, unsure where to go from this point forward.
If only he could give you some signal he’s still alive, you would feel more at ease.
A knock at your door makes you run to answer it, expecting Ningning to show up with Sour Patch Kids and the newest film on your To Be Watched list. “Ning, you better have ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ in your hand or you’re not coming in!”
You open the door to Sunghoon soaked through from the rain. “Sorry I came empty handed.” Sunghoon trails his eyes down your body, smirking at the Hello Kitty pattern of your cotton shirt and shorts. “Nice outfit.”
You shake your head, incredulous that he’s at your door without any word to warn you. “What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you,” he says honestly. He walks through the door and makes you back into the hallway wall. His wet body traps you against him and the walkway. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
You give him a lopsided grin. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
He chuckles, swiping his wet hair off his face. “I know, I’m an idiot.”
“And a jerk.”
“And a jerk,” he parrots, eyes full of sincerity. “But I want to be better for you. I want to be worthy of being yours.”
The confession makes your body buckle. The breath that was still in your lungs escapes in one gust from your lips. How can he think he isn’t worth it after all the vulnerability he’s shown you? “You already are, Hoon.”
He places his hands on either side of your face tenderly, his mouth inching closer. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
You mirror his expression, covering his hands with your own. “I might have been told that once or twice.”
His lips collide with yours, the action soft but the emotions charged behind the kiss heavy. Where that kiss in the nightclub was chaste compared to this one, you can only imagine how the rest of the night will play out.
Sunghoon discards his jacket onto the floor, your hands automatically sliding across his damp shoulder blades. Your touch makes him shudder, a moan escaping his throat. “You’re so warm.”
You smirk. “My bed’s warmer.”
The tangle of clothes and tongues leads to your position in his lap on your bed, the comforter discarded somewhere in the rush to get him to sit down and hold you closer.
Your body writhes against his, his pants the only thing left that he’s wearing. He holds you tighter against him, groaning against your lips. “Fuck, are you trying to get me to come already?”
You blush and kiss his neck. “Wasn’t my intention, but I don’t mind.”
Sunghoon chuckles. He flips you onto your back on the mattress, taking your bra off to reveal your breasts. Your nipples perk up once the air hits your skin, and Sunghoon can’t fight the groan that escapes his lips. “You’re fucking beautiful. I could stare at your tits all day.”
Most compliments make you feel like the person giving them is obligated to, not because it’s true. But when you hear such explicit thoughts leave Sunghoon’s mouth, you believe every word he says.
He covers your body with his own, taking one nipple into his mouth as he kneads the neglected breast with one hand. Expertly, he uses his other hand to slide into your underwear, finding your clit in record time.
He swirls his index and middle finger around the bud, using your essence that has already pooled in your panties as lubricant.
You mewl, grasping Sunghoon’s hair in your fingers for purchase on something, anything. “Fuck, that feels good.”
Sunghoon releases your nipple with a pop, his mouth trailing up the valley of your breasts to stop at your lips. “I’m not done yet, darling.”
Suddenly, he has both hands pulling your underwear down your legs, leaving the fabric dangling on the curve of your ankle. He wastes no time settling his face at the apex of your thighs.
He kisses your clit, making your body buck into his face at the quick act. By the time his tongue is inside of you, prodding deliciously at your walls, you’re practically at the brink of an orgasm.
“You like that?” Sunghoon asks, his voice wicked against your pussy, the vibrations of his mouth reverberating against your skin. “Like how I stretch you open, love?”
You nod vigorously. “Yes, Hoon, you know I do.”
He licks a long stripe up your center, from your perineum to the hood of your clit. “I have to be inside you right now, darling. But I promise, I’ll make you come on my tongue later.”
You clench down on nothing, eager to have his body conjoined with yours. He takes his jeans and boxers off in one motion, his cock long and thick. You want nothing more than to take him in your mouth, feel the taste of him on your lips, but you’re too excited for what’s to come when you look in his devilish eyes.
He settles on top of you once again, certain he’s prepped you enough for him to enter you. He looks into your eyes for confirmation, and you kiss his lips to emphasize your eagerness.
He slips inside without issue, his girth stretching you more than his tongue did. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, a curse flying from your mouth when he fills you completely.
“That’s it, baby,” he says, his voice anchored to the skin of your neck. He can practically see the outline of himself on your lower belly protruding through the skin. “Feel all of me.”
His hips push himself in and out of you, his tempo slow and torturous. The rational part of you thinks he’s only doing this for your comfort, but you know him better than most deductions of logic.
Sunghoon knows you want him to go faster from the feeling of your nails digging into his back and your moans in the shell of his ear. But because he loves to tease, he’ll drag this out for as long as he can.
Until he hears you beg for more, that is. And you don’t mind groveling for what you want.
“Hoonie,” you plead, trying hard to meet his hips with your own for more force. “Please fuck me harder.”
Sunghoon kisses your forehead before saying, “Flip over for me, love. All fours.”
You do as he commands. Once you’re in an acceptable position, he slams himself inside of you.
The tempo barely compares to the previous one, giving you no time to do anything but relish in the pistoning of his hips as they make contact with yours. He smacks your ass for good measure, a moan escaping from your lips as he rubs the reddening skin.
“You wanted this,” He reminds you, smacking your other cheek harder as he drills himself in and out of you without any sense of stopping. “Wanted me to ruin you like a good little doll.”
“Yes, yes, please don’t stop,” you beg, stuffing your face into your pillow.
“None of that, my love.” He takes your hair into a makeshift ponytail to raise your head from the bed. “Want everyone to hear how good you feel, how well you’re being fucked. And I want them to know how beautiful you sound when you come.”
You’re limp by the time your orgasm rushes through you, your body wrecked to no end as you’re bathed in ecstasy.
“Holy shit,” you mewl, still feeling the aftershocks.
Sunghoon continues on with his relentless attention, his speed not letting up. He moves you against him and vice versa as he pleases, seeing the white coating of your essence on his cock as it disappears inside of you.
“Fuck, baby, where do you want me to come?” He asks, unsure how much longer he can hold it in.
“Inside of me, please.”
Don’t have to tell him twice.
A groan rips from Sunghoon’s throat as he releases inside of you, knowing his entire load is painting you white. If only he could see it, see how much of him is a part of you now.
He runs his hands up and down your body when you both come down from your highs. He kisses the reddened skin of your backside as he drags a washcloth between your legs, making sure not to overstimulate you in the process of cleaning you up.
You stare at each other, both in lingering rapture as well as disbelief. He hums a song into your ear as your eyelids flutter closed, the gravel in his voice the perfect lullaby.
You wake up the next morning to Sunghoon playing the chorus of “Wonderland,” PrismHeart’s first hit on the Top 100. You grin to yourself, holding the comforter close to your chest. “Trying to record that music video was such a pain.”
Sunghoon turns and smiles at your awoken form, putting the guitar against your side table. He takes you into his arms, kissing the top of your forehead. “How so?”
“They wanted us to do this themed shoot. White rabbits, decks of cards, me dressed as Alice. But every time the director tried filming the segment where we all went down the rabbit hole, it just kept going wrong.” You laugh and run your fingers across Sunghoon’s chest.
He chuckles and kisses your shoulder. “They didn’t think to try a different concept out?”
You shook your head. “We all agreed on it. Besides, the story is actually one of the inspirations for the songs. I read a lot of Lewis Carroll growing up, but I always loved ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ the most.”
Sunghoon runs his lips across your neck, his hand tracing circles into your waist. “A beautiful girl lost in her fantasies. Sounds nice,” he whispers, his breath creating delicious waves of heat across your skin.
It still doesn’t feel real, having him so close and naked against you in your bed. It could be a dream, one action of your subconscious playing on your deepest desires. And if that were true, you wish you would never come out of it, too happy for words to express.
When Sunghoon slips under the covers and between your legs once again, you wonder if the faraway place that held your dreams could hold a space for Sunghoon too.
It only takes one weekend for your happiness to come crashing down. Whatever you and Sunghoon were building is destroyed, all in the span of seventy-two hours.
Sunghoon is helping you cook a plethora of pancakes when your front door opens in a slam. Yujin and Jungwon bust through with worried expressions.
“You guys haven’t seen it, have you?” Yujin asks, frown lines etched on the sides of her mouth. She hands you her phone, and you and Sunghoon look over the article headline on the screen.
“‘INTO EDEN’ & ‘HEARTPRISM’ CAUGHT IN DATING SCHEME? IS IT REAL OR JUST FOR SHOW? EXCLUSIVE INSIDER TELLS ALL!”
Sunghoon pulls out his phone to call Jay, stalking into your bedroom. The conversation immediately bursts into a screaming match, the sounds of Sunghoon’s anger apparent.
“I swear to God, Jay, if you don’t find out whoever leaked this shit, I’m gonna have your head on a plate right next to theirs.”
Yujin and Jungwon grow quiet. With the news shared, your friend hugs you and walks out the door with Jungwon in tow.
Sunghoon throws his phone onto your bed and walks back over to you, clearly worn out from the information he told Jay and the facts that were given to him by his manager.
You give him a close-lipped smile and envelop him into a hug. Sunghoon strokes your hair as you promise him, “It can be fixed, Hoon, and it will.”
A few days and one interview later prove that in spite of your hopes, not all things are fixable.
Jay sets up a quick interview with Buzzfeed under the guise of discussing the new album. Everyone knows the sole reason for its existence is to quell the rumors of your false romance. It started that way, yes, but that doesn’t mean you or Sunghoon have to divulge that information to the public.
Heeseung and Sunghoon discuss the inspiration for their songs and the creative process behind the album. And when the questions come up regarding the rumors, Sunghoon plays them off with a smile.
“I’m not desperate enough to need to fake a relationship with anyone! How stupid would I have to be to do that?”
The interviewer quirks an eyebrow. “Are you saying your girlfriend was desperate to date you?”
“All I’m saying is that she pursued me that night in the club, and I was more than happy to see where it would go. And as they say, the rest is history.”
Heeseung looks at Sunghoon with wild eyes, his face practically screaming: That’s the best answer you could come up with?
When Sunghoon comes to your door that night to explain himself and how his words got twisted after the fact, you open the door only to throw the jacket he left in your apartment in his face.
“Desperate,” you seethe. “That’s the word you thought best described me, huh? So I guess I’m also stupid enough to want to date you, too?”
“No, I didn’t say that! I didn’t say any of those things!”
“So the interviewer was lying? Just another person or thing out to get you, right Sunghoon? When will you take responsibility for once and own up to the shit you said about us, about me?”
The girls huddle behind you as the tears stream down your face. “Just leave me alone, Sunghoon. Get away from me, use this as the out you wanted since day one.”
You slam the door in his face, not bothering to address the fist that slams into your door or Sunghoon’s pleas for the two of you to work this out.
His heart shatters from the force of his mess, a mess that not another soul can be blamed for but him.
Weeks roll by into painful silence, not a single exchange shared. You blocked him on all social media in hopes to avoid taglines of your name in relation to Sunghoon, but it’s of no use. The time comes where the girls have to keep your phone away in hopes you’ll stop searching online for comments related to the Buzzfeed article. “Babe, it’s not gonna do you any good,” Yujin sighs, powering off the device.
You nod, resigning yourself to the fact that whatever relationship you had is over, and there was no way to prevent it. You could not control or change Sunghoon anymore than he could change himself, and unfortunately, he was still in the process of doing so and shattered your heart in the quest to be a better man.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, tries everything to repair what he’s destroyed. He pleads with Jay to make contact through Momo, but his hands are tied. “She doesn’t want to talk to you, man. If I keep pestering Momo she’s going to have my ass, and not in a fun way. I’m sorry.”
The first few weeks of the tour comes and goes in a haze, Into Eden beginning their string of tour dates up and down the eastern coast of America. The only time Sunghoon is coherent enough to remember anything is in the mornings before he falls into another night of misery. He doesn’t go back to his usual routine of drugs and booze, keeping his promise religiously. Instead, he goes on in a blur, playing his instrument and performing his parts of the songs without a hitch.
He may not be happy, but at least he’s doing something he‘s always been meant to do.
One afternoon of rehearsals, Sunghoon decides to use his break time on the roof to his advantage. The sounds of the city, its car horns and speeding pedestrians, keep him sane for once in a long time.
Of course, Heeseung has to ruin the solitude with his presence. “Sunwoo said I’d find you up here.”
“Sunwoo needs to learn to shut his mouth and focus on sound mixing,” Sunghoon grumbles, strumming the electric guitar in his lap and avoiding Heeseung’s gaze.
Heeseung sighs and sits next to his best friend. Both of their legs dangle over the edge of the building as they take in the bird’s eye view of New York City. “If you want to fix things, you just have to tell her how you feel.”
“Thanks, Yoda. Where would I be without you?”
Heeseung laughs at the young man’s ridiculous attitude, Sunghoon’s stubbornness unbroken since they became friends. “Just because you may not like my advice doesn’t mean I won’t give it to you.”
“What nuggets of wisdom could Mr. Perfect give me that I haven’t heard a thousand times over?”
“Is that what you think of me?” Heeseung runs a hand over his face, mystified at Sunghoon’s words. “I don’t know where or when you got this notion in your head that my life is perfect, but it’s complete bullshit.”
“Look at you and look at me, Hee. Everyone has said it for years. How much more talented you are, how much better you handle the spotlight compared to me, the list goes on and on.”
Heeseung closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Ryujin and I almost broke up last year.”
Sunghoon looks at his best friend, stunned. “Fuck, really?”
His best friend nods. “The last album’s release…I was never home. Ryujin kept getting on my case about us not spending time together, and we took a break for a few weeks. Once I realized how dumb it was for us to be fighting in the first place, things went back to normal. Well, normal and one relationship counselor later.” Heeseung sighs. “Jay kept it quiet from everyone, including you.”
“You could’ve told me,” Sunghoon says, guilty he had no clue.
“I know. But everyone has their secrets, just like you.” Heeseung emits another breath from the depths of his lungs. “I’m glad you know now, though.”
Sunghoon nods. The reality of what he’s done, coupled with the fact he’s spent so long misunderstanding one of the only people to love him so earnestly, hits him hard. Against his will, a few tears escape his eyes. “I really fucked up, Hee.”
Heeseung takes Sunghoon by the shoulder and makes Sunghoon look him in the eyes. “Then fix it. And let me help you.”
Sunghoon smiles, his first real smile in weeks. “How?”
Heeseung smirks. “I may not be as good at making plans as Jay, but I have a few ideas.”
The arena is alive with the sounds of the audience chanting and the instrumental intro to “All for You” exploding from the main stage and stadium speakers. Sunghoon tries to brush off his sudden nerves, the gravity of what he’s about to do shaking him to the core. It could go terribly wrong or do nothing to fix his problems, but he has to try, right?
Heeseung puts his hand on Sunghoon’s back, his bandmate providing the reassurance and stable ground he needs. “You got this, Hoon.”
The two men step on stage, the crowd screaming an octave higher when they take their instruments off their stands. Sunghoon raises a hand, motioning for the band to go quiet and the audience to silence their cheers.
“As you know, a few months ago I met a person that really matters to me. I want her and all of you to know that she still does. And if she’s listening somewhere tonight, she should know that this is for her.”
Sunghoon begins playing the first chords of the song he’s written, nobody but Heeseung and the band aware of this change in the setlist. “This isn’t off of our new album, but I hope you all like it. It’s called ‘Lost in Wonderland.’”
Sunghoon begins the song on his guitar, Heeseung following behind him with backing vocals and a bass. The audience sways to the song, enraptured by the lyrics and melodies of the two musicians. Sunghoon pours his heart into the chorus, hoping by some luck that you’ll be able to hear this if nothing else.
“Maybe I’ll see you in Brooklyn, maybe I’ll see you in France. As long as the waves keep on rolling in. Things don’t always go the way they’re planned.
“Maybe I’ll see you in Jersey, maybe next year in Japan. Sometimes it’s so hard to find a friend, you’re the only one that just might understand.
“Lost in wonderland…”
By the time the final chorus rings out, the notes of Sunghoon’s guitar flying through the air gracefully, Sunghoon feels a million times lighter. All he can hope for now is that his plea will reach you amidst the sea of screaming fans.
Sunghoon runs off the stage as soon as the band finishes playing their last song, unable to hold his composure any longer. What stops him short from running to the green room is your face riddled with tears.
Sunghoon is unsure what to do next. Hold you in his arms and not let go, the last time he saw you being too long for him to accept as reality? Or confess what he said on stage was only a fragment of what he holds in his heart?
You beat him to the punch, your words coming out practically on top of each other. “Momo booked me a red eye to get here in time. She said Heeseung told her something had happened to you before the concert and—“
“I love you,” Sunghoon interrupts, the three words and eight letters no longer able to be kept inside of him.
You smile, eyes puffy but shining. Before you can ask him if what he just said is true, he repeats it until the words go stale, but they don’t. “I love you,” he says, “and I’m so sorry I made you think I didn’t.”
He runs to you immediately and kisses you with all the energy he has left in his body. The feeling of your mouth on his and your hands gripping tight onto his shirt fixes the part of him that broke the second you told him to get lost.
He knows he’ll never let you go again, never take you for granted for another second, and always remind you how much of you is home to him now.
When you part, you ask him, “Did you really write that song for me?”
Sunghoon smirks. “Every single line.”
You nod, running your thumb across his chin. “I love you, too.”
The resounding sound of the bustling audience leaving the venue and the crew packing up fills the background as you kiss Sunghoon again, making up for the time you lost, and preparing for all the times to come.
1 YEAR LATER
PrismHeart’s new album cover is plastered across the press wall. The red carpet is dyed neon pink to accentuate the colors of the title, “Love Language.” It’s a fitting name for the project in your opinion, many of the songs directly inspired by your personal life.
Yujin fusses with Jungwon’s suit once they’re away from the press wall, their matching ensembles making you smile. They’ve been together for as long as you and Sunghoon have at this point. Sharing your songs and thoughts for the newest record has been easy thanks to a fellow member being stupidly in love like you.
Sunghoon steps onto the carpet for his round of paparazzi photos. His suit and jewelry are completely black except for the shirt he picked out that coordinates with your dress. It may be too pink for his taste, but he’d do anything to make you happy, and he knows how to stay on theme for a special occasion.
You add on a few brownie points in your mind for how incredible he looks, the suit emphasizing the contours of his body that you know too well by now.
When Sunghoon’s done with his pap walk, he has to hold himself back from running to you and kissing you hard on the mouth. His composure hangs by a thread through seeing the top of your chest accentuated by the sweetheart neckline of your bubblegum pink dress.
He holds you close and kisses you on the cheek, a halfway point between what he should do and what he wants to do to you, the audience around them be damned.
The audience in question goes crazy when his lips linger on your cheek, the candid shot perfect for the slew of tabloids that will come out tomorrow.
“You look fucking incredible, just so you know,” Sunghoon whispers in your ear.
You smack him on the chest softly, beaming. “Language, Hoon!”
“Hey, forgive me. Words of affirmation and all, y’know. My love language.” He winks, and you chuckle into his chest.
“You and your dad jokes. You’re lucky I love you.”
“I am,” he confesses, taking a free lock of hair between his fingers. “Very lucky.”
Before you can tell him you feel the same, you hear the sound of your name on an interviewer’s lips. You walk hand in hand with Sunghoon to greet her before she begins her parade of commentary, both of you all smiles as you discuss your latest single.
The show must go on, the multitude of cameras and questions second nature by now. But with Sunghoon’s hand in yours and your heart completely his, you know that none of the fame will compare to the happiness that his love has brought to your life.
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