#they are done getting my money

[msvorderofoperations]

Been a bit, but I've got a new dream journal.

This one was fairly mundane, but was still interesting. It started with taking a flight to California for reasons I was not terribly clear on. It definitely involved going all across the state as part of a tour, but other than that I had no idea why/how I gotten involved with it. I say this because I have not been able to afford travel/vacations for a very long time. What made it interesting though was that the group I was travelling with was people from a lot of different parts of my life. There were people from high school, elementary school, and various communities on the internet I've been a part of.

Soon after leaving the airport, we got on this strange rapid transit conveyance that was basically a raised, glass-bottomed train line with very small (like 4 people per, max) climate controlled cars. It was both fast way to get from place to place and also a very effective way to show off local sights. This was reinforced by going past a bunch of film sets and permanent structures built into the shallows of the ocean. I think in the context of the dream we were heading to San Francisco, but it was an island a fair ways offshore rather than a peninsula.

As we went further across the water it became clear that we were approaching a theme park of some kind, as we got to see a bunch of rollercoasters and other thrill rides that utilized the fact that they were operating over the open ocean. One that stood out was an inverted (as in you were seated dangling below the track) rollercoaster that had the conceit of trying to escape an enormous octopus or squid. This was accomplished by having fibreglass tentacles breach out of the water towards the cars whenever the track dipped close the the water. It looked very impressive but even in the dream I was thinking that they must be able to throw an absolute shit-ton of money at it to make sure it is maintained properly. Soon after, as we were approaching a station, there were even projections on the ground to make it appear as if we soaring over things like the grand canyon, the trench on the Death Star and other impossible vistas. As we pulled into the station I noticed with some mild embarrassment that the whole time we were over projections I had been tightly holding onto a friends hand. Mercifully neither my friend nor the dream dwelled on this for too long.

As it turns out, the station is in the heart of a Disney theme park (though pointedly, not Disneyland proper) and the train is being taken out of service because there is a concert happening at the park that would interfere with operations. I think it was Lady Gaga and Dua Lipa, which would have been a hell of a show but alas we were not able to attend. As would most likely be the case, this particular Disney attraction was mostly indoors but to do their thing of hiding line ups it meant there was a lot of blind corners and unintuitive pathways. Also, since we were technically not paid entrants, we did not have full access to the park. This meant that while it was kind of cool to kill a few hours at a Disney park, we only had access to a small section of it and we had to pay for theme park pricing for everything rather unexpectedly. Additionally, COVID was still on my mind as I was stressing about being stuck in a place where people from all over the world had gathered and none of them were masking.

As I explored to not let the stress sink in, I noticed that this park in particular seemed to have an emphasis on more niche Disney properties. Like, there were stalls all over where one could record part of the lyrics to the Powerline songs from A Goofy Movie, which would then be played over the parks PA system. There were also attractions based on the animated shows from the 90s and early 00s like Doug, The Weekenders, and similar. It soon became apparent that I needed to try and track down some proper food, not just fried/sugary snacks, as the last thing I had eaten was breakfast on the flight and it was now after 3pm. Compounding this issue, the train that we had taken here and would have to leave on was not going to back into service until 11pm, so we were expected to be there for a WHILE.

So as I was trying to find a place that had something approaching a full meal, I remembered that I hadn't had chance to get spending cash fully squared away. I planned to do it once we had arrived at the hotel we were all staying at, but that certainly wasn't in the cards now. I was not fully without financial means, however. I had credit cards that would be accepted (though there would certainly be issues of fees), and I did have a single American hundred dollar bill. It was just a question of who if anyone would be able to break a hundred in a fast food kiosk or similar.

As I was searching through my wallet to find the C note, I realized I had accumulated a frankly absurd number of claim checks, transfer forms, and other associated bits of paperwork from travelling to a different country. And since they made searching my wallet such a hassle, I had to figure out a different place to keep them for the time being. As I was working on this, I ran into another person from my group (an actor from a sketch comedy troupe I follow online) who seemed to have a much better handle on the low intensity chaos that we were dealing with on the way to our final destination. He was vlogging, had a whole checklist of things he was going through that we could do in our time spent at the park. I asked him if there was anything like a reasonably priced sit-down restaurant in this part of the park. He explained that there was, but it was a pain to get to, owing the convoluted layout of the space.

I thanked him and then started to make my way when it became readily apparent that the concert had begun. Even though this part of the park was nowhere near the outdoor music venue, the lights were dimmed significantly, and all of the sounds of the attractions and the PA system were made quieter. Owing to the fact that the venue was outdoors, I could pretty clearly hear both the music and the crowd. Rather abruptly as I was trying to navigate these strange passages in the dark, with a susurrus of a distant concert going on I woke up.

[rika-mortis]

Made a silly alternate version for the previous comic

[transgendz]

Woke up to being puked on because they changed the prescription food of the dog I sit, and I get that cleaned up, to find that my check is ~$375 short of what I expected because they didn't add my training hours. Submitted a request with my higher up and got a response email that he's out of office rn.

[greykolla-art]

the way you color your digital art is so charming and unique. i'm in love with iiiiiiiit

Oh thank you! I’m in the process of coloring the new comic and that’s my least favourite part, (eww why are there 50 different shades of red available!😩)

so it’s really good to hear that it’s appreciated!😜💕💕💕

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[vodid]

zero's pressure

[iizuumi]

Side effects of wearing your Kaiju suit too often ,,,, Part 2

[they-call-me-youngermoney]

based off @kidrunaway's discord screenshot:

[randomhuman45]

I high key like the idea of Batman going after Danny for whatever reason and while getting info on Danny Cujo is discovered and Damian is like "Father I must help you capture/talk to/whatever this guy you're tracking down".

Bruce thinks Damian is finally warming up to him and this is a way for them to get closer. Damian just wants Danny's dog.

[onboardsorasora]

Been playing Bitch Better Have My Money on repeat and kept thinking about Daniel kidnapping Max who is married to Christian, the Bitch in this case.

And at first Max was scared because he's tied up in his sleep clothes in the back of a sports car, thats also really uncomfortable because sports cars don't have that much space. He's disoriented and worried.

Daniel takes them to this mansion and carries Max bodily inside, sets him up in a guest room but doesn't untie him. Max watches from slumped in the bed while Daniel gives him towels and a change of clothes. He sees a gun hiding under the brightly patterned gucci party shirt Daniel's wearing, so he doesn't try anything.

Daniel calls the Christian and has a teasing conversation, asking questions and grinning the whole time. Christian is still blustering and finding excuses so Daniel tells him to stop fucking around and pay him what he's owed.

"Or else what?" Christian is sneering now.

"Max is pretty cute with handcuffs on, do you guys try bondage at all? you should. His tits would look amazing in leather." Daniel is staring right into Max's eyes as he says it, grinning big. Max's eyes widen and he's trying to yell behind the duct tape on his lips. Christian starts yelling over the phone and Daniel hangs up.

He saunters over to Max who is glaring at him now and tilts his chin up and kisses the red heart shaped lips he’d drawn on the duct tape he’d placed on Max’s lips.

“Don’t worry your pretty head. As long as Christian pays up, you’ll be out of my hair in no time. Just think of it as a little vacation. I’m going to uncuff you now, are you gonna be a good boy? Or should I leave you like this and stare at you like a perv? I’m good with either option.” Daniel shrugged and waggled his eyebrows. He did not miss that Max’s eyelashes fluttered when he called him a good boy. The glare that came afterwards was halfhearted at best.

Daniel untied him and left him alone.

They stayed at the mansion for a day before Daniel manhandled Max back into the car. Max is again surprised because he’s stronger than he looks. And hot. And funny.

some more ish

[pallanophblargh]

Color! Composition still wonky, but this was done mainly to see how I liked the colors and such. I can reposition and resize birds/leaves/etc another time. And get a decent proper hexagon drawn up.

This has been an exercise in not letting perfection hold me back. I have to start getting back into art somehow, right?

[corntired]

Fanfiction is so goated actually

No monetary incentive, just writing in one's free time. Some incentive for like kudos and comments, because who doesn't want to hear that someone else enjoyed what they wrote. Just writing a story that is good and/or enjoyable, no real-life pressure to keep it going because god forbid you and other people are depending on it financially.

Writing a story because you want to write a good story, so you can write what they want the way you want, at a pace that is realistic for you, with exactly the plot pacing you want there to be.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[almondpiglet]

heyo thank you for all the followers i got recently, ive been trying to open up for some lil requests since i got over 1k (did the same on twitter a while ago) also i am struggling to think of stuff to draw so...

[bamsara]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgauhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhghgg

[gingermintpepper]

As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version

Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].

So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.

This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus

Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.

So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.

Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺

ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.

I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!

That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.

For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:

(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)

Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)

Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:

(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)

Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:

and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...

(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)

And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!

Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)

And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)

Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)

But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:

(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)

Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.

These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.

(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)

Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')

And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:

But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.

It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.

Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.

All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?

The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.