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The Jonmartin manifesto no one asked for but needed to get out
So, I've not been in the tma fandom for long yet, having only listened to it for the first time a few months ago. But from browsing the Jonmartin (and teaholding and jmart) tag regularly, it seems to me like most jonmartin shippers fall into one of these two categories:
They would find each other in every universe; or
It's a miracle they even got together in this universe
(Obviously, that's an oversimplification, and people who express one view in one post can easily hold a different view at another time - these are fictional characters we're talking about after all, and headcanons don't need to be consistent and can even contradict each other. This is just the general vibe I got so far.)
Anyway, I wanted to add my own two cents on the topic, because while I understand where both of these views are coming from, I think neither of them is ultimately correct.
(Putting the rest under a read more - be warned that this is NOT a spoiler-free post, so if you haven't finished listening to TMA yet and you want a spoiler-free experience, you probably shouldn't read this.)
So, before we get to my own opinion, let's first look at where the two options I mentioned above come from, shall we?
"They would find each other in every universe"
Obviously, this view is highly romantic - star-crossed lovers, finding each other again and again. It is both a good foundational basis for AUs, and a ray of hope in the face of the tragedy that is the tma finale.
Of course, concerning the finale, this is a rather different take than concerning AUs (since it would mean the very same characters finding each other again in a different world, not fundamentally different characters, shaped by said other world, also finding each other). And maybe when people express this view, they mean more the finale fix-its than AUs, though I suspect that plenty of people mean both.
It's a nice, comforting thought. And don't we all need some comfort after the finale? Yes, we certainly do. (Except for the people who read only hurt without comfort and angst, I guess. You do you, and I'm glad you're having fun, but personally I do desperately need some comfort, lmao.)
Is this view supported by canon though?
Cynical minds would say no, and personally I'm more inclined to agree with them, though as I've said, for me the truth lies outside of those two rigid stances (somewhere in between, I suppose).
I don't see much in canon which points to Jon and Martin falling in love under any circumstances/in any universe, especially considering their... let's say difficult relationships at the start of the show. But of course we must also take into account the specific circumstances in canon (more on that below) and interpretations vary, and I do very much enjoy AUs, so I'm certainly not trying to throw shade if you're on this side of the 'divide'.
Mostly, I think there CAN be other circumstances in which those two get together, outside the canon ones. (I'm writing a canon-divergent jonmartin fic myself, lol.) Let's get into that while we look at the other view, shall we.
"It's a miracle they even got together in this one"
Ah, the Martin-approved stance. One could say 'well, they literally said it in canon' and be done with it. However, that would require us to believe that the opinions of the characters are always true and correct, which. Lmao. We only have to listen to season 2 of tma to know that this is very much not the case.
And even if S5 Martin is not S2 Jon at the height of his paranoia, he's still very much a man shaped by his own life and experiences. I'm sure he would call himself a realist, but he honestly seems more like a pessimist to me. Which is understandable, given his life, and his association with the Lonely, which has often been (in my opinion accurately) compared to depression.
The thing is, Jon did treat Martin horribly in S1, and then he admittedly treated everyone horribly in S2. It was only in the course of S3 that their relationship got more, let's say, equal, with Jon no longer thinking Martin would be 'contributing nothing but delays'. (And then of course we have S4, which I LOVE even though it hurts me deeply. Then again, that's the whole show. And, obviously, S5 my beloved.)
So. Jon seemed to hate Martin in S1, while Martin was arguably already in love with the man. (Arguably. We do know that he acted catty to Basira in S2, so it's reasonable to assume that he started liking him at some point in S1, or even before the show started.) Then a lot of traumatic things happened, and they got together.
This means it must be the traumatic things that made them compatible, right? Just like Martin says in S5?
Well, one could see it that way. Jon certainly changed over the seasons, coming off his high horse and such. (In S5, he arguably gets back on it quite a bit, but then he IS the Eye's specialest little princess in a world that's literally ruled by it. And also he is slowly losing his grip on his own humanity. But I digress.)
And I do think that the trauma channeled a lot of those changes - the first time we see Jon being actually emotionally open (something he still struggles with over all seasons, because people don't just change fundamentally that quickly) is during Prentiss' attack on the Institute. They're in a situation where they might reasonably die (they even expect it, because they don't know that Elias is just rubbing his greedy little paws as he waits for things to get worse before he saves them with the gas).
I do think that moment could have been a big turning point for Jon and Martin, if it hadn't been immediately followed with the discovery of Gertrude's body, and Jon's subsequent descent into paranoia. Jon opened up, and also saw that Martin was rather competent during the attack, which could have led to them becoming closer, respectively having at least something like a normal work relationship.
But then Jon got paranoid and interpreted everything he saw negatively, including Martin's competence, which was twisted in his mind to 'What if he's just been pretending to be incompetent and is actually an evil agent out to kill the archivist'.
(Big sigh.)
Anyway, before I lose myself in the red string as well: Yes, Jon seems to 'mellow' over the seasons, especially with regard to Martin, at the same time that he's going through terribly traumatic events.
But does that mean that it's actually the trauma that's changing him and his relationships? Partly, certainly, but I would argue that trauma doesn't make you nicer or kinder. It might make you realise some things, but that doesn't mean that you can't realise those things in other ways.
And does it means that they couldn't have come together if they had met under different circumstances? Also not necessarily! I would even argue that the specific circumstances they met under were detrimental to Jon's first impression of Martin. And yes, this goes beyond the dog story.
So let's try and dissect their relationship from the start.
A theory of... something like nuance, or whatever
The starting situation
(Yes, I did have to use a Supernatural gif, thank you for asking. No, I will not apologise. <3)
Alright. So let's start with what we actually know about Jon and Martin's first meeting. Obviously, there's the dog story, though as far as I know that's not 'canon' because it wasn't actually in the podcast. I still like it, and think it adds another reason to Jon's behaviour, though I don't necessarily think it's necessary, because Jon already had lots of other reasons to tell himself that Martin wasn't worth his time.
1.1. Jon has issues. More at 11.
First of all, we learn throughout the podcast that Jon doesn't actually have any qualifications to lead an archive. He's probably 29 when the show starts (in 2016, going by the fandom wiki stating that he was born in 1987, which is reasonable given everything we learn about his age).
So, he's 29 and suddenly appointed, after four years of working in one department, to become the head of a completely different department. He does not have a degree that would give him credentials for leading an archive, nor are we told that he has ever even worked in an archive. For all we know, and that he knows, he is woefully underqualified. (This is also, I think, highlighted in S2 when Jon threatens to resign, only to then be baffled by Elias saying that he would be difficult to replace. Elias means something completely different than his skill set as an archivist with a lower case 'a', presumably, but then Jon doesn't know that.)
This means that Jon is in a highly stressful position, because he's trying to do a job he doesn't actually know how to do, while also trying not to let on that he doesn't know how to do it!
It doesn't help that Jon is also terribly scared of what all might be lurking in the shadows (or even in the light), as he himself admits during the Prentiss attack. He is extremely high-strung from day one, basically a wet chihuahua shaking in a slight breeze, while trying to seem like a strong bulldog.
We also know that Jon asked for two people to be his assistants: Tim and Sasha. They both worked in research, and Sasha also briefly worked in artefact storage, making them both qualified to help Jon with following up on statements. But I think more than their qualifications, Jon probably requested them because he knew and got along with them.
Imagine: Your boss tells you that he's promoting you into a position you're not qualified for and which you have no real clue how to do. Wouldn't you rather have people around you who you're already friendly with, and who are likely to cut you some slack if you're not perfect on day one? I know I would!
1.2. Elias is a little shit and I want to kill him with hammers (affectionately)
And then Elias transfers Martin.
I'm going off the dog story again, because again, I like it, and I think it does fit neatly into canon. If this story is to be believed, Elias neither asked nor did he tell Jon that he was giving him another assistant. He apparently simply told Martin 'you work at the archives now, congratulations' and then went back to his office to smile smugly to himself.
This is a VERY bad start for a working relationship, because not only does Martin come in unannounced, this also comes off as Elias not respecting Jon, or potentially even sending someone to report back to Elias (because Martin is the only one who doesn't have an established rapport with Jon).
Jon never verbalises this suspicion, so maybe this is too much interpretation on my part, but in any case it's cause for a lot of resentment on Jon's part, and since he can't exactly let it out on Elias (who is rarely there, anyway), he simply lets it out on Martin.
He finds reasons to do so, of course, insulting his work and all that. It's probably easy, especially in the beginning, because not unlike Jon, Martin doesn't have any qualifications to work in an archive! He worked at the library before, and we know that his degree is made up (which we can only assume Elias knows, considering he can know almost anything).
(I actually find the question on why Elias transferred Martin in the first place extremely interesting, and might get into that in another post. But this one is already too long, lmao.)
1.3. Martin is too nice, aka Jon has even more issues
This is mostly my personal headcanon, though I do feel it fits Jon's character - which is that he doesn't know how to deal with nice people.
Not kind people. Not friendly people. But nice people.
People who do things seemingly out of the mere goodness of their heart. Like bringing their mean boss tea when he never asked them to do that. Like being friendly even in the face of insults. Someone who constantly takes himself back in favour of other people and their opinions.
People like Martin is appearing to be. Appearing, because Martin isn't actually like that. He does have his opinions, and he could probably grumble up a storm in S1 about Jon, but Jon is his BOSS, and so he plays.
Martin also IS genuinely a nice person most of the time (when he's not on a revenge rampage, making his boyfriend murder people). He doesn't have to do nice things for Jon like bring him tea in S2. But he does. Because that's Martin's way of trying to reach out, to show other people that he means no harm (and that he can be useful).
(I also think that Jon's snappish behaviour, where Martin never quite knows what will set the man off, might remind him off his mum, but again I digress. :))
But I think Jon doesn't know how to deal with that, because even when he's not in the height of paranoia, he still suspects that people who are THAT nice (especially when they have no reason to be nice because he's being an arsehole to them) have a secret agenda. This is playing into what I said under 2 (the part that might be too much interpretation on my side lol), because if Jon suspects that Martin is reporting back to Elias, or is at least someone who would not be friendly if he found out that Jon doesn't know what he's doing, then he can't allow himself to relax around him, and he certainly can't allow himself to be lulled into false security (as Jon would think) around him.
Tl;dr on this point: I think Jon is wary of Martin's niceness because he thinks he might be fishing for gossip/anything he can use against Jon. And even if he isn't, Jon thinks he would be likely to use anything he learns against Jon, because they weren't friends to begin with, and Jon's behaviour has made them anything but that.
(We have to remember that this is the guy who says in S2 that he knows what it's like to 'lack the respect of one's peers', aka the kid who got bullied by at least one older kid, and likely had no or very few friends - plus he believes in the supernatural, which doesn't exactly lend itself well to getting academic respect.)
1.4. They were fucked from the start, your honour
Basically what the meme says, but yeah. The they were put in practically guaranteed that Jon would be wary of Martin, and that Martin would be trying extra hard to make friends with him, which in turn would make Jon even more wary/hostile.
And Elias made it worse, either knowingly or by negligence (not telling Jon about transferring Martin).
If we add the whole dog story to it... they were fucked. I do actually wonder if, assuming we take the dog story as canon, Elias actually somehow managed to set that up. Or whether he was at least cackling (sorry, smiling ever so silently, but smugly) in his office as it happened, or whenever he ended up knowing that it happened.
2. Yes, we've had one starting point, but what about second starting point?
As we have established above, the starting situation for Jon and Martin was... not ideal. So, would they have gotten together easily given a different starting point, like in a cute coffee shop AU?
Eh.
It's true that the specific situation they were in made it a lot harder for them to actually communicate and see each other as they are than it had to be. That doesn't mean that a different situation would have made it easy, though.
Their personalities still make it hard, though, as even without the added stress of a new job, Jon is still a little chihuahua shaking in the corner, who tries to make up for it by barking at everyone, and Martin is still the guy trying to approach him with treats and getting his hand bitten.
There are certainly specific situation that could make it easier, especially if Jon isn't scared as hell, and has maybe already learned that not everyone who does something nice for him wants to just pull on his strings. (Yes, I do think that the thing that makes Martin, according to Annabelle, suited for the Web, is the thing that put Jon on edge at the beginning. I don't know if this was intended at all, but it makes me cackle.)
The beauty of fanfic is that we can do whatever the hell we want. But I think the most fun thing an AU author can do is think 'What would have to happen, in this specific scenario, for these two to get over themselves and get together?'
Excursion: Martin, my beloved depressed blorbo who I am certainly not projecting on, haha
Because it IS both of them who need to get over themselves. Of course Jon's issues are the most obvious, and I've certainly expanded on them enough. But Martin also has a problem, and it's that he's constantly hiding his true feelings and opinions, especially anger and fear.
That makes sense, perhaps, in a workplace, though considering he's dealing with a walking, talking worm hive and a stalker boss... Let's just say it probably would have helped Tim, too, if Martin hadn't been so desperate to make everyone be friends again.
Because Martin is always TRYING to make everything better for everyone, but he's actually not helping anyone. Being nice to Jon and bringing him tea doesn't help battle his paranoia. And trying to tell Tim not to be so angry at Jon, and can't they all be friends, doesn't actually help Tim with his anger.
All Martin is essentially doing is making himself small and saying 'let's get along, pretty please' every now and then. I don't know if it would have helped if he had expressed his own fears and anger, and maybe Jon would have misconstrued that as well, too deep in his paranoia already. But at least Tim might have realised that he was not alone in all this. (His biggest problem, as he says in S2, is that he feels that no one has his back, which I think at least partly results from no one expressing the same anger, aka no one validating his feelings.)
Anyway! (Jon voice) Excursion ends.
3. (To the melody of 'What shall we do with the drunken sailor') What shall we do with these total idiots?
So, how ARE these two going to get together, if they're so woefully unequipped to deal with each other?
Well, first we need to give Martin a good helping of self-confidence. Then we need to kind of give Jon the same, since his problem ALSO is that he's unsure of himself, he just tries to make other people small to cover it up, instead of making himself small. (And isn't that a funny thing to do for someone who we know was bullied. To become a bully himself. Oh, the snake, biting its own tail...)
The easy answer is, of course: You can come up with your own version, get creative. <3
The more complex answer is: A lot of stuff, probably. Jon and Martin will certainly need time to get to know each other, and of course it depends on what situation you put them in to start. But there will be misunderstandings, and there will be hurt feelings, and I am going to soak it up all like a particularly slowburn-greedy sponge.
I feel like there are probably five million ways to get them together, and some might be cute and fluffy (if they go to therapy first, I guess, lol) and many will be full of tears. <3 (Jon voice) And I want to see them all on my desk by Friday! So get to it!
In all seriousness though, yeah, I think there's not one right way for them to get together (though canon did it well imo). But it's also a little more complex than we might give it credit to (very much including me).
4. So what now?
I don't know. I'm not your dad. Write a fic. Draw a picture. Put down your own thoughts on the matter. Or take a shower and clean up your room, young Padawan!
(Though actually, if you've read this post from start to finish in one session, what you should probably do is get up and stretch and get some water.)
And above all! And this is imperative.
Have a good day. <3
#Jonmartin#teaholding#jmart#Idk just go forth and do whatever you were going to do#These are my thoughts and maybe yours are totally different#Or maybe I inspired something! Who knows. Live long and prosper in any case.#I mostly needed to get my thoughts in order lmao
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Reading TGCF: Chapter Ten
For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.
I truly wish I could say this was a different tea, but from now on unless I state otherwise it's probably masala chai.
Body update: I feel less like trash than yesterday, but my right arm did take a hit LOL. Thankfully my hip is doing a lot better too so sitting is much better. (I'm not even a writer or specifically a writer on ao3, yet, it feels like I have the ao3 curse).
Nevertheless- onwards to chapter ten!
Immediately Xie Lian is here using his body to protect San Lang! You tell Fu Yao! p329
I should have waited one more sentence LOL. "Because...if I stand next to him, the snakes wont come". p329
omg. There is a 6th person in the pit and I am still not sold that that kid (a-zhao) is actually dead. I'm still thinking about the garden face man and what he was saying. p331
WTF- General Pei jr?? p333
okay! But now I need to know General Pei jr.'s motivation for destroying a whole city! p335
ofc Xie Lian knew General Pei jr from when he was General Hua. Who does this man not accidentally know? p336
Jeeze. Banyue's people were going to strap bombs to themselves if they lost. This is wild. Based on the history between the two warring countries I really don't think there was hope for a peaceful end. pp337-338
Oh yay! we finally get to meet the two cultivators from the street! Also that art is absolutely stunning, I love them both so much. I do hope we meet them again. pp341-343
Oh no! The entire time they have been running from her (The Wind Master) thinking she was evil as shit but she was actually trying to help them. p343
Dang this makes sense. General Pei jr couldn't just murder people directly because of his position. So, instead he lured them to their deaths (snake deaths, pit deaths, but definitely not him killing them technically!). This is some dictatorship misuse of power shit with full technical deniability for this guy. Gross. p345
Xie Lian had me suspicious about the wind master too, but thank fuck Banyue was let go for her good deeds. p347
Bro just wants to do the right and good things but heavenly politics are too much. He is definitely going to offend everyone at some point. p350
Whos cutting onions?? My heart at this small child who decided they would be building Xie Lian a large temple when they got home :'3 I'm totally normal about this. p352
The speed in which Nan Feng fled when Xie Lian offered to make food LOOOL Nan Feng: oh no, so sorry, my basement is on fire, and flooded, definitely need to leave right at this moment. Terribly tragic. p353
eeeeeeeeeeeeeep! "I still prefer the name 'San Lang'" p354
ONE CHAPTER LEFT!
Now the question is, how will mxtx ruin my life in the last chapter of this book?
I do own book 2, BUT I think tomorrow I will order the third in celebration of finishing book 1. I might do this the last chapter of each book to prep for more reads.
#bloopitynoot reads tgcf#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#mxtx#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#san lang#the wind master is kind of cute tho ngl#she feels very good vibes only#i'm not even mad about it though
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I should probably finally make an intro post or something so here we go.
Introduction post!
Idc what pronouns you use for me.
I like to draw!
I draw both traditional and digital, though it's rare for me to post traditional art without digitalizing it first.
I'm in the Undertale, Omori, Owl House, Amphibia, Gravity Falls, hfjONE, and other fandoms!
Currently obsessed with: Undertale AUs
Will add to this post as I continue to post things and get into more fandoms.
#introduction#introductory post#introducing myself#i didn't say a lot about myself but oh well#i do both digital and traditional art but I forgot to say that- maybe I should just go add that before i post this#yeah imma do that#tags are fun to put in for some reason#these tags probably say more about me than this post lol
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I'm curious, in general do we prefer Poison Ivy with Green Skin or Nah?
oh reblog for more responses please lol
#poison ivy#poison ivy dc#dc polls#tumblr polls#polls#dc poison ivy#dc#dc comics#also I find it more interesting when Poison Ivy is very biologically plant#I think I prefer her with green skin I think partially because I like her more plant than human#but also because design-wise I love her red hair as the pop of color contrasting the green#a white ivy can be good tho to break up the green and making the design more visually clear#also I like when she is very plant and like needs sunlight and water and dirt not food lol#(but also she should still have human emotions)#I love Poison Ivy#I love love Ivy#Oh and I really don't like when she's a ginger (orange hair) her hair needs to be bright red#to me her core character traits are 1. her overwhelming and intense love for plants and the environment#2. her care for people (usually restricted to Harley but never underestimate Ivy's motherly instincts)#this trait is usually where the conflict with her character lays#3. her sex appeal this was originally her only trait I'm a gay man so I have less to say about it but I do love her femininity and slay lol#4. probably least important her evilness which is best when it's motivated by one of her other traits I like w#if its not clear I love Poison Ivy and I just put an entire other post in the tags lol#I like when she has cool lesbian aunt vibes#but I also like when she has unhinged plant lady vibes#pamela isley
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you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddy’s#glammike#crying child#elizabeth afton#i wanted to allude something to william but idk#would the glamrocks go into the sinkhole? maybe#maybe next to glamrock freddy alongside the weird overlapping face he has and the two kid height faces#there is a face tracking box next to him...standing#remember that post about the ghost hunters comin to the pizza plex? maybe the weird face tracking happens too...#im watching garret watts and Andrew's constant facial tracking anomalies inspired this post lol#anyways i really like the thought that despite being the most friendly Glamrock; Freddy has this......feeling about him#his AI was made just this year! programmed with cutting edge and top of the line technology!#then....then why does he go off script sometimes? why does he say things that wasn't programmed show dialogue?#how does he know about Mr. Afton? the killer from the 80's who committed heinous deeds?#Why does he speak as if he knew him personally? if his AI is just pulling stuff from online; Why does he speak with resentment about him?#IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT!!#like just because this franchise has gotten more neon and sugery than ever; remember; lights can be blinding and sugar causes cavities#idk what that means just omg there is more horror potential than you think in the SB era of games if you look hard enough#off topic but back to freddy being a sweetie pie i think that its funny okay#freddy sasses adults okay okay but he isnt mean to kids okay maybe michael just idk; MATURED? maybe he just got some whimsy mkay?#listen if i was forced to be in a perpetual cycle of atoning for my own and my father's sins i would find any and all silver linings mkay#aw yeah this is sick i get to be a freddy mercury inspired glamrock bear WOOO#granted michael was probably tired of animatronic bands and pizza by fnaf 6 but ykkkkkkkk it.....could be worse? he could be his dad lmao#anyways headcannon michael listend to freddy mercury and this is the equivalent of cosplaying him scott told me so (trust)#tag rambles! theyre fun lol
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youtube
hai guys :3
#my video lol#my audio lol#vocaloid cover#synthv cover#synthesizer v cover#genbu#genbu synthv#evil food eater conchita#i am forcing everyone to look at this. look at my guy ehehehhkjnjkhgmlb AFTER TWO WHOLE ASS YEARS FINALLY#i couldve probably put more effort into this but ITS BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 YEARS i wanna be done w/ it already 😭#so regardless if it kinda sucks a little bit; its wayyy better than the covers i made like ~4? years ago when i was first starting out#was the iku drawing i posted before this foreshadowing?? not necessarily but its rly funny to think abt in hindsight#also rip genbu in a dress that i was gonna draw for this originally 😔✌️ i'd really love to draw more stuff for these covers i make#but it usually never comes out the way i want it to and i figure editing some sorta visualizer like this is better#than keeping some things trapped in my files for so long purely bc my extra ass wants a cool pv. some day maybe but not now#some sick fuck unsubscribed from me after i posted this BYE BITCH i dont miss you at all. live laugh love genbu in this house /j#im not the most obnoxious genbu stan i'd say but you WILL respect him in my house i do not tolerate genbu slander i love that man your hono#yes im extremely based bc he (and eleanor) were THE very first vsynths i ever actually fucked around w/ programwise#but WHATEVER!! idc he is so dear to me i do not regret buying his full version at all (it was impulsive)#the only synth i'd actually consider myself kinda good at tuning LMAO ik people hate how he sounds and have issues w/ him but not me...#these tags are too long girl stfu. anyways tldr; look at silly thang i made w/ my silly man#i love genbu and i love songs about cannibalism <3#Youtube
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if i have to see one more post about disney from people who don't work here or at least live in the area i'm gonna lose it
#saw a post that was talking about how disney doesn't actually care about queer people#and while like. yeah. i mean. i guess sorta that's true? but also they do pay for trans healthcare#for employees. btw. no other employer i've ever had has explicitly covered that in my insurance#also working here has EASILY been the job where i feel the most comfortable being trans since i came out#and where i get misgendered the least. it still happens and it's been an issue but like#overall it's better here. disney also lets me use my preferred name on everything#universal did not do that btw at universal i was forced to display my deadname to everyone at my location#so it's not as black and white as 'disney hates queer people' and i'm not trying to be a bootlicker i'm just stating these facts#that people probably don't know? at least people don't seem to know this?#but it's easily the most supportive work environment i've ever been in#and yeah a LOT of that depends on location and leadership and other things. i have trans coworkers who have struggled more than i have#but like. overall. i don't think people realize that it's actually a pretty halfway decent place to work#and yeah there's some HUGE issues but it's an oversimplification to say that it's just The worst and should be burned down etc.#and it's like yeah i KNOW it's the bare minimum but it's still more than i've gotten anywhere else i've worked#and yes a lot of it is also due to the union's hard work here and not the company itself but still#the fact that the people making posts like that clearly do not actually live here or know anything about how things work here#i'm just like. please shut up you don't even know what you're talking about#this post i saw earlier had people in the replies STILL spouting the 'disney will just pack up and leave lol and then where will the florid#economy be?' and they sound so fucking stupid like what the everloving fuck do you mean move somewhere else#people think it's a little theme park as if it's not the literal size of san francisco???#anyway i'm just in general begging people online to shut up about things they don't know shit about.#like. you don't have to have an opinion on everything. you can just. shut up.#anyway that's my ranty tags post for the day bye#win rambles
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🙈
#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek 😭
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ok another one in that i went over everything again expressly to pick up murder mystery clues, especially in the beginning
noted as the first appearance of mordecai, hanging out in the garage. to be perched on the hood of a car, leaning back, is so whimsical for him. jaunty. but also, being the earliest appearance in the comic / its own timelines, you know. more informatively, it sure seems like atlas was shot or something there. looks like it matches his design even from the mostly obscured look we get at it, and presumably there's any all the more unobscured view available to everyone in-universe. it's also presented as part of someone's file, so that's noted re: drago, though it may just be the required framing to present it as a photograph that'd exist at all
then introduced to mitzi in the next page, and i've helpfully added the arrow b/c i was looking for it like "well, based on this Theory that the basis of mitzi and mordecai being in cahoots and having an understanding about it is their mutually having a personal/emotional connection to atlas (at least on their end b/c we see so little from atlas and hear even less. even when people would usually say one is personally connected to their wife. are they)....might mordecai show up at the glimpse of atlas's funeral" and i'm noting how closely that design there aligns with mordecai's, even though this isn't high res enough to be absolutely certain. but: seems to have a shaded-in coloration, center streak in the ear, sharply triangular corner of face (especially a feature in these earliest depictions, rather than this triangularity incorporating a bit more waviness / curve later), light uhh muzzle nose mouth area, what could be the outline of the light stripe under the eyes, light eyebrows >:c ly arched, & pince-nez or just glasses if that's the only option when you're cats....there's a lot of "wow that really could be mordecai huh" design alignments that are otherwise just a lot of coincidences like, whoops drew this background rando who matches so closely one of the main cast members....characters. getting theatrical out here. and what's then also noticeable is: none of the other background randos resemble any other characters, even when if mordecai is simply here as an Important Employee, where's viktor, where's anyone else we know was already around, where's the employees who remained steadfast who are shown immediately after this, versus mordecai who, as an employee, did Not loyally stick around at lackadaisy, but as someone with enough emotional investment in atlas for that to indeed be the foundation of his and mitzi's murder mystery Understanding, to then also maybe be the only lackadaisy employee at atlas's funeral (presumably with mitzi's knowledge), to have left lackadaisy out of grief rather than professional interests....hmm
mordecai also in this picture, where again everyone's hanging out, next to atlas and singled out by being the only person not sitting. did he just get there, maybe. is he On The Job still, i.e. maybe by being something of an [almost always active personal bodyguard] here. seems he'd face more Away from atlas for that. but not like i know what he's up to otherwise, and Thee Point may be to more symbolically have him standing apart. with even viktor also there, sitting and chilling, to show how mordecai Might also be doing that....but isn't. also of course tingling with mystery senses about what mitzi was going to have said to wick here, about how she would hate to, dot dot dot...then changes her mind upon Considering Atlas
here's mordecai Standing Near atlas again while socializing is happening. while he is also distinct from a) mitzi, in that this is confirming (if somewhat implicitly) that mordecai was in fact already associated with lackadaisy & atlas before atlas met mitzi, and b) viktor, who was still stationed with the arbogasts' funeral home, wherein i'm also considering this relevant b/c naturally it emphasizes that the professional viktor & mordecai duo's existence doesn't make them interchangeable: backing up that mitzi sure may have had a reason beyond a coin flip for having this secret with mordecai rather than viktor (and, of course, the reason probably isn't just "i need to work with some lackadaisy employee who can fire a gun" in the first place)
a couple more points being
mordecai going on and on about professional approach all the time; could simply be his preference, could be an expression of the like precision / methodical perspective that makes him good at biting and killing, could be [that] plus just how he deals with his job being biting and killing when it's unlikely he was up to that before the train ride ft. atlas and atlas taking him on for that success....i also wonder if he took a Professional Approach to killing atlas / thinks of it in that way, even if that reason for [secret mystery involvement with mitzi on this] was an emotional one, and that being recent and tumultuous has him like tripling down on this. even though mordecai may not have killed atlas either, even presuming atlas Was shot and killed. and knowing that mitzi gave him a gun, or mordecai gave her the gun, or they passed it back and forth a few times for obfuscation
the pig farmers start wandering into a dark area of lackadaisy's caves and there's bones back there. what goes on in said caves....all this coming about b/c atlas opportunistically took advantage of the cave access, seems like the kind of environment with real potential for some figurative resonance. like also the rivers.
mitzi telling wick that atlas was the murderous one in the relationship....not necessarily that significant when like, technically who around here Isn't murderous. just like there having been "here's the body stashing cave section" isn't necessarily extraordinary in its literal existence, but with the symbolism of wandering into the caves and finding an area with no light, where you start walking on old bones, and are about to be killed yourself....hmm. and re: atlas's murderousness, sure is possible to team up to kill someone to protect a fourth party, even though like, who. and that would add another layer of "mitzi and mordecai care about the same person" on top of their presumed [handshaken] emotional regard towards atlas. possible, but like, who would that be. it seems unlikely atlas would, say, threaten ivy or something. and how would that incorporate that [there has to be the Mitzi's Asserted Culpability] element. but these things are sure noted
not directly related to the mystery but i will leave off again on the mordenico agenda. even though, also, it is a "bite me a zillion times, two zillion times shy on me" situation like, what are the odds the [inroad of intrigue over shaking up the glitter in your funny little guy who everyone usually just would rather ignore] situation is actually bound for working out. yet [Also Everything Else. like in this scene and the prior Hotel Room Fête encounters] and declaring yourselves as the same and trying to stay friends no matter what....we can dream
#mfw people are like ''yeah mordecai's so good at math & even actually enjoys it Buuuuut everyone hates the hell out of his personality''#Oh You Don't Say....#see the all the more extensive post last night for going ''But How Does It Figure In'' more thoroughly lol#crowd clapping and cheering at another installment of this series. or you should be#though i'm sure past the ''yeah i'll probably have a tag for something if i post abt it three whole times at least'' point out here huh#lackadaisy#someone's post like ''those cats you were autistic about when you were twelve'' several options there for us all#lackadaisy cats for me to be sure (twelve or thirteen; anyways); could be Jellicle (i am now a staunch cats the musical advocate on#principle rather than ''i've ever seen it'' but i saw Some of it for reference probably around that age lol); warriors#or the cats we should all be autistic about....any actual ones. i'm petting some right now. like nya; see#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery
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Sorry for being annoying and talkative in the tags. it Will Happen again
#:)...#TO ME ITS LIKE. A COMMENT IS MORE THOUGHTFUL AND ENGAGING WITH THE POST THAN IF I JUST REBLOGGED... SO I MUST WHEN I LIKE IT...#EVEN IF ITS SO NOTHING... I HAVE TO DO IT... IHAVE TO APPRECIATE THE POST BY SAYING SOME NONSENSE... I CARE...!!!#the only thing I'm genuinely concerned about is If I accidentally act too familiar or something. Which I try to be mindful of#I DO JUST GET WORRIED THOUGH...#Caus everyone would Have a different relationship to that sort of interaction right#I know me and my boyfriend LOVE seeing comments and tags but it might not be as welcome for everyone else. IDK!!!#I just hope my sentiments don't end up with me being inconsiderate without realizing id hate that...#🗝️#ITS PROBABLY CHILL. At the end of the day I will keep doing it. Its a recurring concern for me but it cant be helped LOL
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a/b/o is a hot, slash-enabling romance trope TO YOU. to me, it's dystopian body horror.
#truly the worst thing to ever exist. i'm trying so hard to be chill about it but even after all this time it still gets to me. sigh.#i'm not saying it should be banned or ppl who like it are evil or anything! i've tried to enjoy it as romance AND as horror but#it's just too disturbing. it's just pure nightmare fuel.#like it could be bearable to me (not that it matters lol) if it stayed firmly within the fanfic sphere. but it's leaking out so badly#and it's like i can't escape it lol. it's escaping the recesses of fanfic websites and (even more than it always has been) becoming#material for cis people lacking awareness of and sensitivity towards trans ppl and issues to spice up a m/m story#and that's actually maddening lol#i remember considering ranting about it to my therapist for a hot minute back in the day#but ultimately the last thing i want is to spread it further or to be made to talk about it haha#even posting about it now is making my skin crawl. but i figure that anyone on this website is already acquainted with it :}#this will probably be severely regretted and deleted eventually though#about me#mine#cw omegaverse#cw tag essay
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THANK YOU
womanhood is an endless cycle of finding your way back to a younger version of yourself and nurturing them
#i kind of suspect this post may not have been made with the intent of being universal#like she was mostly just saying it in regards to her own experiences#but it's certainly PHRASED in a universal way#maybe i'm just frayed at the edges because of how often i get misgendered irl#maybe i'm just oversensitive because of how often i have to hear transphobic rhetoric looping in my own head#maybe in a world where i'm not constantly having to justify my gender to everything that breathes this wouldn't bother me#but we don't HAVE that world. we have here and we have now and i am tired.#i'm not super angry or anything though. i have to clarify that cause otherwise i'd be anxious about saying this lol#i always feel like i'm “making a big deal” if i express disagreement like this#so i try not to unless the person i'm taking to is an “acceptable target” like a terf/bigot#or if i'm more preoccupied with defending someone else than myself lol. cause ig my brain doesn't care then#but this just reeeeeally got me for a sec & if not for my mutual's tags (pictured above)#i probably would've just left with a bitter taste in my mouth and not said anything#idk. i'm tired
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Shellycoat
#heyo again posting in the ol tags#At a moral quandary but I guess I'll update yous on my life while I think of a way to sound it out#I am currently single. This is a big deal for me because I am coming to terms with my status as a serial monogamist#I think my ex has been not single longer than I have so I'm not feeling guilty about it. Just feels weird being single is all.#I'm doing the whole dating thing again. Have been on 2. First one I stayed at her spare room and freaking cried. Haven't spoken to her sinc#Second one I stayed in her spare room and she stayed with her roommate. Both times I didn't want things to go physical. Both over now.#The second one I was more optimistic for tho.Prominent thing was that she wanted me to date her and others. So I'm not exclusive with anyon#And I still maintain that. Doesn't feel good bc when I go on a date with one it feels like I'm cheating on the others.#But i have such low confidence that I don't want to turn anyone down or keep anyone waiting for me to ask them out. So idk what I'm doing#anyway. moral quandary. I just realized I can't actually talk about it. But I have to choose advancing my own career at the cost of my sou#it would be really nice to get some big £$£$ but I'd have to sort of betray new boss a little. Who has already given me permission to do so#it doesn't feel right. Shellycoat here is from new project. Ugh I dunno. I think I'm going o have to sell out just a little.#Bein single again shows me how behind I am for my age. Still can't drive still living with my best pal. Probably goin bald soon#then again I've been saying that for years now. Maybe I have a few years left of it. But yeah. I don't earn very much rn. When I get those#questionaires I'm often in the lowest bracket so i'm like “I am among the poorest of ppl then??” One lady stopped talking to me when I#told her I rented a flat. Which implies a lot of men my age own property already. But did they get them with their morals intact or did the#have to do a bit of backstabbing on the way? Anyway. I guess I'm happy that I'm not just whining about my love life.Maybe being single is o#still wanting to get out there. Maybe I'll make another post about that or whenever I'm not single lol
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He's My Favorite. (ln4)
Pairing: Lando Norris x Sainz!Actress!Reader
Summary: fans are speculating who y/n might be dating but it turns out it was in front of their faces the whole time. or y/n and lando are mistakenly considered to only be best friends and people are in for a surprise.
Type: Social Media AU! face claim is Bruna Marquezine!
Warnings: probably a few grammar errors. lots of fluff. drivers standing their ground against neymar jr. because he deserves his own warning. inaccurate timelines but then again this is a fictional smau! UNEDITED
a/n: i'm on a kick rn. nothing can stop me.
all translations come from google! english translations are in parentheses!!
masterlist
twitter
instagram
carlossainz55 just made a post
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,560,937 others
carlossainz55 so proud of this one! but papa did say your head is growing too big after you saw yourself on the billboard...and i agree with him. anyways, go support y/n by watching her new movie Blue Beetle now in theaters!
tagged yourusername
view all 117,342 comments
sainzforlife this family is too talented for their own good-
yourusername papa did not say that.
→ carlossainz55 just ask him then @/carlossainzoficial
→ carlossainzoficial mija, es de lo único que has estado hablando desde que lo viste. (daughter, that's all you've been talking about since you saw it.)
→ yourusername papa, that's not very nice. don't try to pretend like i didn't catch you sending the trailer to all your friends last week...
iamrebeccad beautiful girl and amazing movie!
→ yourusername i love you more than my brother.
→ liked by iamrebeccad and 217 others
xolo_mariduena at least you didn't see her crying when she first saw the billboard
→ yourusername XOLO, NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT
→ landonorris send the video.
→ yourusername now, look what you've done. all the drivers are going to see me crying now-
→ xolo_mariduena you'll still take me to the next gp right...?
landonorris just to let you guys know she cried after this photo was taken too
→ carlando4life does this mean lando was with the family for the private screening??
→ 4papaya lando is a part of their family so probably😭
instagram
landonorris just made a post
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, mclaren, and 1,860,657 others
landonorris can't believe this girl is going to be blown up on the big screen coming to theaters near you. jokes aside proud of you and everything you do.
tagged yourusername
view all 99,342 comments
thatonebakucorner this post is so sweet!
yourusername thank you, lan🫶🏻
→ carlossainz55 why did you send him a heart?
→ charles_leclerc yeah, what's that about?🤨
→ yourusername carlos, you're just jealous you didn't get a post from lando
georgerussell63 i never get appreciation posts like this
→ landonorris what do you want me to post about your slideshows?
→ alex_albon it's because you're not y/n
welovey/n LOL not the drivers grilling lando about this post
ln4csforever "proud of you and everything you do" LANDO JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER ALREADY
→ paddockfashion please- like lando could pull someone like y/n
twitter
instagram
yourusername just made a post
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, neymarjr, and 1,341,972 others
yourusername such a crazy week but glad i got to spend it with some of my favorite people. thank you for all the love and support you guys have given to Blue Beetle!
tagged carlossainz55 and landonorris
view all 117,593 comments
worldchampionsisaid what is neymar doing here?!?
→ neymarandy/n they need to get back together asap!
→ mywifeisy/n yes because that would be such a good idea even though he cheated on his baby mama while she was pregnant??
oscarpiastri lando is asking if you're serious with the guy in the third photo
→ oscarpiastri apparently, i wasn't supposed to ask you on here so now lando is yelling at me.
carmenmmundt proud of you, love! ❤️
→ yourusername love you, carmen! 🤎
ferraricountyourdays the third pic?? Y/N, WHO IS THAT MAN??
→ y/nismilf she needs to hard launch him already!
neymarjr linda como sempre, amor. (beautiful as always, love.)
→ carlossainz55 no, go away.
→ charles_leclerc wrong post, buddy.
→ georgerussell63 abosolutely not-
→ danielricciardo don't forget what happened last time you tried to contact her.
→ maxverstappen1 move along.
→ fifaandf1crossover do you know you have 30 minutes?
→ y/npleasemarryme love that they always protect her!
shesmyfavactress weird she posted picture with her bf along with one of lando and carlos
→ f1girlies maybe because she's an adult and allowed to be friends with her brother's ex teammate?
fernandoalo_oficial i remember when i used to be your favorite driver
→ carlossainzoficial those were the days
→ yourusername you two are still my favorite of all time.
→ carlossainz55 i'm hurt, y/n.
→ landonorris so was your caption meaningless?
→ yourusername i can't win.
whatacrossover oh, lando and y/n are definitely dating.
yourusername just added to their story
shared post by yourusername and landonorris
liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, anasainzvdec, and 2,493,968 others
yourusername and landonorris just kidding, he's my favorite.
view all 136,975 comments
carlossainz55 that hand is getting a bit low, don't you think?
→ yourusername get over it. you've had years to get used to this already.
→ inmyf1era YEARS you say?
landonorris i get to be with you every day. what a life.
→ yourusername i love you.
→ oscarpiastri you're ridiculous
→ charles_leclerc mate, look what she has turned you into
→ yourusername charles, i will tell alex about this.
→ charles_leclerc I WAS JUST KIDDING. PLEASE NO
lilymhe was waiting for this hard launch!
→ alex_albon i thought lando was going to spill before they could even do one
carlossainzoficial what can i say i love my son so i approve
→ yourusername could've said that you love and care for your daughter's happiness
sebastianvettel actually, y/n forgot who her real favorite is
→ yourusername love you, seb!
→ landonorris back off, old man.
#lando norris x reader#lando norris#f1 social media au#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#smau#social media au#lando x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x y/n#fluff#f1 drivers#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 smau#ln4#ln4 x reader#formula 1 imagine#lando norris social media au#formula 1#formula one#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz#bruna marquezine#bruna marquezine face claim#face claims#twitter#instagram
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*my eyes burst open w a flash of light*
SEVIKA
Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#I have just watched the newest teaser.. omg. she built Sevikas new arm#Sevika is defending her… jinx probably tried giving her the arm and Sevika lashed out and that made jinx upset and she ran away#but then Sevika felt bad and came to hELP HER SEVIKA#SEVIKA I WAS NOT SURE IF U WERE GOING TO BE ON JINXS SIDE OR NOT SINCE#jinx does not rlly have a SIDE per say honestly!!! she is just fumbling her way thru this world one explosion at a time#and I thought u might be mad at her cuz of the whole silco thing. but OMG SEVIKA#SEVIKA AND JINX…. Sevika hardened badass w a heart of gold actually…#cannot help herself from looking out for this runt. even if itd be easier to leave her on her own to sort her own shit out#like… ghghg I love Sevika pls I hope the season actually has so much Sevika and jinx yessss. yes!!! ha ha ha!!! yes!!!!!!#Srry for hijacking my jinx mental health post for reactions to the new teaser but I was! excited!!!#I wanted to talk about it and I thought it’d be funny to add it onto this post lol#arcane#pepper words#sevika#jinx#also omg watching those fucking steampunk Victorian England chucklefucks try to mess w jinx#the violence I felt within me… like… I kno she’s a badass murderer who can kill ppl so good. but like.. seeing those guys hurt her#rage…. rage inside me. who the fuck do u think u are. die#ghghgh like I got SO protective watching that like how fucking dare anyone ever hurt a single hair on this girls head she’s WOBDERFUL#ok????#alright anyway… there’s my thoughts on that teaser lol. I’m excited for Sevika and jinx interactions :)#(jinx building sevikas new arm and getting rejected and that being why she’s crying isn’t confirmed but it MAKES SENSE!! ok!#I would like if that’s what happened so I believe that that is the case ghghg- if it turns out I’m wrong then! whatever lol)#I think if jinx is actively terrorizing u or society u r allowed to beat her up I can give ppl a pass on that#cuz sometimes… u kno.. sometimes she does do that! and ppl have a right to defend themselves / there homes#but those motherfuckers we’re on her for NOTHING! she was just running down the street upset!! I draw the line at that u#if u haven’t been personally victimized by jinx u aren’t allowed to hurt her ghgh-#this addition is in regards to my anger at the Victorian England chucklefucks lol#I think it might be more accurate to say I wasn’t sure if JINX was going to be on SEVIKAS side… honestly. rather than the other way around#ALSO B4 I RUN OUT OF TAGS. I actually think she’s probably crying cuz she ran into fucking VI AND THE ENFORCERS B4 not cuz of Sevika!
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⊹₊⟡⋆♡ having a pregnancy scare wasn’t on rafe and pogue!sweetheart!reader’s to do list anytime soon.. but alas, here they are waiting to see if two pink lines will change the trajectory of their lives forever.
warnings: pregnancy, mentions of a breeding kink lol, super sweet fluff, slight humor, lots of crying
a/n: this is my not-so-subtle way of introducing babydaddy!rafe to my blog (i’ve been reading a lot of babydaddy!rafe lately.. yum) also just a reminder: pogue!sweetheart!reader is only pregnant in this fic alone. meaning any other works i create with her are not correlated with this one UNLESS stated so <3 you could keep up with this little universe under the second tag of this post: ‘₊˚⊹♡ pogue!sweetheart!reader & babydaddy!rafe’
w/c: 1.3k
“a-are you sure you’re late?” rafe was pacing back and forth, tears pricking your eyes as you flipped through your little calendar book. “yes! i look at my calendar everyday rafe, it’s been three weeks!” you sniffled, checking for the millionth time. rafe joined you on your bed, realizing he probably wasn’t making you feel any better if he was freaking out too. “hey..” he cupped your chin, “it’s gonna be okay, baby. what do you need me to do? ‘want me to go get some tests from the store?” you cried even more, the whole thing becoming too real all at once. “i don’t know! i don’t know what to do, ray!”
he sighed, holding you as you wept in his arms. “oh, baby,” rafe rubbed your back, “you know i’m going to take care of us, of you.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. he wiped the tears from your eyes, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “i know.. it’s just— this is so new, and even though we don’t have a for sure answer yet, i feel like i really am. you know.. pregnant?” saying it out loud made rafe’s heart drop to his stomach. you saw the way his expression softened, his eyes flickering down to where you two held hands.
while it shouldn’t be too surprising, considering you two never use protection.. it’s still a delicate matter that rafe took very seriously. “am i gonna sound crazy if i say i hope that you are?” you took a breath, stroking the side of rafe’s face. “no. i want it too.” letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he pulled you against his chest, embracing you once again. “why don’t we find out? ‘go to the pharmacy and get some tests?” you nodded, the anticipation already feeling unbearable. “okay.” you pulled away, getting under your knitted blanket.
“you’re not going with me?” rafe laughed. “are you joking? the owner has known me forever. if he see’s us buying a pregnancy test, he’ll—” you lowered your voice down to a whisper, “he’ll know what we’ve been doing..” your cheeks heated at the thought of the sweet old man who’s known you for all of your life checking you out for a test that indicates you’ve been doing a lot more than just baking cookies. “baby, if you didn’t live in the middle of nowhere, and far away from any kind of civilization, everyone on this island would know what we’ve been doing.” he winked.
at his words, you shooed him out of your camper as a giggle escaped your lips. he wasn’t wrong. rafe knew all the ways to make you scream and tremble in pure bliss. it felt like forever since rafe had been out, but one glance at the heart shaped clock on your wall, and it had only been ten minutes. you laid on your back, fingertips skimming your tummy. imagining a baby, half of you, and half of rafe, a result of two worlds, both full of so much love, colliding into one and making the most beautiful creation you were sure to ever see, made a smile grace your pretty face.
now you were thinking about a nursery, wondering if you’d be painting it baby pink or powder blue. either color was fine with you. sitting up, you looked around your camper, really seeing just how small it was. you and rafe barely fit in here together, let alone with a little baby that’ll eventually grow and want to run around. now you felt sad at the indication that you might have to move out of the only place you’ve ever known. this would change your life, but with rafe by your side you felt more ready than ever. just as you were going to call rafe and politely tell him to hurry up, he walked through the door.
“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, so i just grabbed one of each.” rafe gave you the bag, plopping down next to you. there was about ten different tests in there, including a lot of the snacks you’d been craving over the last week. sour gummy bears, chocolate, and spicy chips mostly. taking out a pink box, you read the instructions before looking back at rafe who already had his full attention on you. “can you come with me?” without hesitation, rafe helped you up and guided you to the bathroom. “alright..” he leaned against the doorframe, watching as you unwrapped the test.
“i can’t really pee if you’re looking..” rafe had zoned out, thinking about house hunting already and wondering what kind of car seat would be the safest for a baby. “right, i’m sorry.” he turned around, swallowing the lump in his throat. rafe needed the confirmation just as much as you did, his stomach doing somersaults as he nervously bit his lip. “you okay?” he asked. you hummed, peeing on the stick before setting it down on a piece of toilet paper. washing your hands shortly after, you and rafe left the test in the bathroom as you waited in silence.
“my heart is beating so fast right now.” you laughed, on the verge of tears as rafe rubbed circles into the flesh of your thigh. “i want you to know something..” rafe whispered, “whatever those test results come out to; negative or positive, we’re going to be okay. i don’t want you to worry about a thing, alright?” your chin wobbled as you nodded, your head falling in the curve of his neck. you stayed quiet for the rest of the time, the timer on rafe’s phone going off. “oh, god..” you whimpered, motioning for rafe to grab the test. “don’t look at it, just bring it over!” you called out.
rafe walked back with his eyes closed, nearly bumping into the wall as his hands trembled with excitement. “where are you?” he kept his eyes screwed shut, in which you followed suit. “i’m right here.” you squeaked out, holding onto his wrists. “on three we’re gonna look down.” you nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “okay, i’m ready.” both of you smiled. “one, two, three—” both of you looked down, rafe jumping and running out of your camper as you stared down at the sight of two, very prominent, pink lines. rafe was shouting outside, the sound making you laugh as you took a seat on the couch.
“oh my god.” rafe poked his head in, your teary eyes meeting his. thankfully, he was able to read the room and calmed down a bit. “oh my god.” he repeated, kneeling down in front of you. “are you okay? are you happy?” rafe rubbed the side of your thighs, his touch providing a comfort like no other. “yes! i just can’t believe it..” you hugged him, his arms wrapping around your waist. “we have a lot of planning to do.” you sniffled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. rafe could already see it. the white house, the white picket fence, both of you were already two steps closer to your dreams becoming a reality.
“yeah, we do,” he agreed, “let’s just take it one day at a time, yeah?” you smiled, cupping his face. “i love you so much, this is crazy.” he kissed your lips before taking the test in his hands again. “a whole baby..” you were in utter disbelief. “maybe i should take the rest of the tests?” you stood up, taking the plastic bag with you to the bathroom. by the time you finished, the sun was already setting, both you and rafe staring at the approximately ten tests in front of you. all positive. “looks like we took the breeding kink a little too seriously, huh?” you looked up at rafe through his reflection in the mirror. “that was a good one.”
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