#these questions make me big think
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Will we see more erlang later in the comic? Since wukong and erlang are close friends in the book? Plus wukong takes up erlangs nephew as a disciple after jttw
Yes we will see more of Erlang in the future, to what capacity I'm still not sure, but he'll be there😁
So about Chenxiang, I had to first look him up since I was like whoa a disciple of Wukong I gotta see this! And based on his origin story, I don't think he'll be in my story as Wukong's disciple (maybe? Hell make cameos probs)
Why? Well based on how he became a disciple of Wukong was (very simple summary moment):
1) His mom, Erlang's sister, fell in love with a mortal man and had Chenxiang with him.
2) Mom gave mortal man the Lotus Lantern which is like a big important artifact and the Jade Emperor was like Hey! You can't do that! Go Erlang beat them up or somethin
3) Erlang killed guy and sealed Mom under mountain, and kidnapped Chenxiang
4) Chenxiang escaped and stole back the Lotus Lantern and began his journey to his mom
5) Sun Wukong finds him and is like Yo this kid kinda cool lemme help him, and trains him for a few years before taking him to the mountain his mom is at and giving him(?) a weapon able to split the mountain open
6) Erlang pops up and him and Chenxiang fight each other
7) Chenxiang wins
8) He frees his mom and they're happily ever after me thinks🎉
So now that we have this summary,,
If we take out the Jade Emperor because Wukong nerfed that guy...a big part of Chenxiang just doesn't happen because Erlang doesn't have a reason to go after his parents (based on the interpretation) and so he doesn't have to go through a journey.
He can still meet Wukong though so there's a possibility he might still become a disciple of him but idk right now, he'd have to decide to go to the celestial realm first🤔🤔
#lmk#sunset!au#ttm!au#time traveling monkey au#lmk sun wukong#lmk erlang#lmk chenxiang#these questions make me big think#i love them#chenxiang is most likely gonna make a cameo but i might add him as someone who follows Erlang and learns from him#have an actual positive relationship with the guy#or he could become and assistant to Wukong as the Emperor#so many choices#me info dumping really makes me seem like a liar from the previous post#but i just read a summary like an hour ago😭😭
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Freaky Red Carpet
synopsis: your final red carpet appearance with fred for gladiator ii. (your first public appearance as a couple?)
wc: 4k+
warnings: rpf! reader is specified to be inexperienced!
a/n: same general vibes as the last one but more introspective ig, but we go into more specifics here as well as some backstory.
italics are supposed to be comments under tiktok clips of the premiere. feedback is writer's fuel!
cross posted on AO3
<<previous part
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The screams and chaos of the premiere crashed over you as you stepped out of the car, a security guard’s hand reached for yours to steady you. This was it, the final big event. Even though it wasn’t over just yet, the nostalgia was creeping in, soft but persistent.
“Hey, pretty girl.” Fred’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. He stood only a few steps ahead of you, having just arrived himself. Your gaze softened, lingering on Fred, oblivious to the cameras snapping away. “You look…” His gaze dipped once—then again—tracing your figure. A soft, unguarded smile tugged at his lips, as if he didn’t realize he was doing it. As if he was completely enraptured by you. “You’re stunning, you know that?”
The ability to speak escaped you for only a moment, the words caught in your throat. “...Fred, you can’t-”
“No, I’m serious.” He shook his head, eyebrows raised. He walked forward and placed his hands on your shoulders, holding you in place to continue studying you, as if he was in awe. “Look at you.” His eyes finally found yours again. “You’re gorgeous, y/n.”
“Thank you.” The words felt stronger than your voice. You weren’t insecure—you knew you looked good tonight. But having someone say it like that—having Fred say it like that, like he couldn’t even keep the thought to himself—it nearly brought you to tears.
A deafening roar of cameras and voices dragged you back to reality. The glow of flashing lights blurred at the corners of your vision, and distant shouts of your name cut through the haze. You straightened your posture instinctively, smoothing invisible creases in your dress. But Fred could see it. He could see that small moment you tried to keep to yourself.
“Hey, come here.” He spoke softly, less of a request and more of a warning of the oncoming embrace. He pressed his hands between your shoulders blades once you settled into him, chin hooked against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
You shook your head vehemently, the silky smooth finish of his suit rubbing against your neck. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”
“I made you emotional.”
“You always make me emotional.” You chuckled, voice light to keep the tears at bay, unsure why they even came in the first place. “You look incredibly handsome tonight.”
“Yeah?” He asked, his smile and excitement clear in his voice.
“Of course.” You pulled away and jerked your chin at his outfit. “We’re almost matching.”
With a quick second look at the color scheme of your outfit compared to his, Fred’s eyes lit up. “We are!”
“I think Grant and Leslie set us up.” You squinted your eyes conspiratorially. “I heard them talking about ‘all black looks’ yesterday.”
“Really?” He raised his brows at the information. “Come to think of it, Leslie refused to even entertain any of my suggestions today.” Fred laughed it off and reached down to hold you. His hands smoothly slid down your arms until they arrived at your hands, interlacing your fingers together. “Come on.” He tilted his head toward the carpet behind him. “Walk with me.”
“Down the carpet?” You gawked, frozen in place as he gently pulled you in the direction of the flashing lights.
“Yeah pretty, down the carpet.” Fred chuckled like you were joking. “It’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”
“You wanna take pictures with me? Like us- together?” You whispered to Fred, not fully paying attention to the cameras already catching every moment. As Fred’s hand tightened around yours, you realized.
You weren’t exactly hiding this—not entirely. Your blossoming relationship, that is. Keeping things personal and quiet felt right for both of you. But this—walking a red carpet together—had never been part of the plan.
“‘Course I wanna take pictures with you.” Fred answered, eyes soft but certain. “We worked super closely on this movie, y/n. I don’t think people will over analyze if we take pictures together on the carpet.” He shrugged. His words meant more than that, though. You knew he meant that you could do whatever you wanted. That you shouldn’t limit yourself in your relationship just because you wanted boundaries. Keeping it private didn’t mean keeping it a secret, like you were doing something wrong.
“Besides, you’re my Lovie.” His voice softened, almost shy, like he wasn’t sure if you’d still claim the title in front of all these people.
Your neck grew warm at his words.
Lovie.
That was the name you and Fred called your deliberately unnamed character throughout filming. Caracalla called her ‘my love’ almost exclusively in the script. So it became your quick shorthand between each other. And soon after, the rest of the cast and crew called your character that as well. But it was different with Fred. After a while, it stopped being her name for him. It was you. You were his Lovie.
“Oh- Okay, yeah.” You nodded at Fred, accepting the idea of walking the carpet together, though still slightly apprehensive.
“Yeah?” He asked again, just to make sure. And with another nod from you, Fred’s victorious smile lingered as his hand settled on the small of your back, sending sparks up your spine. “Gotta show off my girl,” he murmured, his hand pressing a little firmer into you. You weren’t sure if he wanted you to hear that or not, but you did. The way Fred could unravel you, seemingly without even trying, felt wildly unfair—like every tender gesture was second nature to him.
He led you up the crimson steps, where the carpet shimmered beneath camera flashes and distant voices blurred into a roar. Your name and Fred’s were being called from every which way. Before you could stand still and face a specific group of photographers, Fred moved away from your side all of a sudden, his steps quick and fluid.
“Fred?” you asked, instinctively glancing over your shoulder.
“One second.” His voice was low, nearly lost in the noise. When you turned, you saw Fred at your other side by your feet. He crouched smoothly to get closer to what he was after. The train of your dress. It wasn’t that long, but the small trek up the stairs had it all misshapen. With precise movements, he tugged at the fabric to position it into place. After he straightened it out sufficiently, he stood back up and stepped around his handiwork to come back at your side, arm looping around your waist to pull you back into him.
“You didn’t have to do all that.” You looked up at him through your lashes as your hands came up to rest against his chest. You adjusted his lapels in a subconscious attempt to return the favor, brushing away the imaginary lint on his chest and shoulders. Fred visibly blushed at your words, your hands on him, the way that you were looking at him, all of it. You displayed your emotions in a way that even he couldn’t dismiss. Not that he would want to. He loved it. Every moment. Being cared for so openly made his heart flutter and his ears turn red, it was exhilarating.
“I wanted to.” He reassured you, head nodding down softly, a subtle attempt at getting closer to you.
A piercing shout of your name followed by a burst of blinding light shattered the quiet moment.
The soft bubble you and Fred had built around yourselves burst, replaced by the harsh glare of cameras and the relentless hum of the crowd.
You dropped your hands from Fred’s chest, suddenly aware of how close you were.
But Fred’s hand stayed where it was, anchoring you in the thrashing waves of it all.
You turned this way and that, following the voices of photographers as they shouted out different poses they wanted to see.
“I could get used to this.” Fred spoke quietly, leaning down to whisper into your ear.
You frowned in confusion and turned to look at him. “Which part exactly?” You asked.
“Having the prettiest girl in the world on my arm.”
“Was this your plan tonight?” You couldn’t hide your grin no matter how hard you tried. “To kill me with compliments?”
“Not a bad way to die, no?” Fred furrowed his brows in faux seriousness, his mouth twitching in that way it did, a twinkle of mirth in his eyes.
You rolled your eyes with a giggle. “You’re a horrible man, Fred Hechinger.”
‘idk if they’re together or not and i want to be respectful but theyre literally the cutest people ever and if its true then theyre perfect for each other 🥺 truly wish them the best’
‘the mouth thing he does is actually the cutest thing ive ever seen’ ↳ ‘hottest. i think you mean hottest.’
‘look at the matching outfits!! i can’t! theyre too frickin cute!!!’ ↳ ‘its just all black lol y’all read into things too much 🙄’
‘we need a lip reader up in here 🗣️🗣️’
‘we love a man who knows the importance of the dress’
‘how does she just look better and better at each public appearance?!’
‘this is flirting one million percent’
‘either theyre together or theyre idiots, because this just might be true love’
‘we can’t assume that every interaction in hollywood means something more than it is, give them the privacy they deserve!’
‘what are they SAYINGGGG?!!?!’ ↳ ‘it definitely looks like he said ‘prettiest girl in the world’ there at the end, right?? call me crazy, but i can see his mouth moving so clearly it has to be it!’ ↳ ‘you’re definitely crazy, but also you’re definitely right’ ↳ ‘you’re right!!!! isn't that so relationship goals??’
Towards the end of the carpet, the rest of the cast were gathered to take a group photo. Paul saw the two of you approaching and his eyes lit up.
“Took your sweet time, didn’t you?” He teased the two of you. “Been waiting all night!”
“Sorry,” you ducked your head as you confessed, smiling sheepishly. “Entirely my fault. I came late.”
“Ah, come here.” Paul laughed as he brushed it off and pulled you into a hug. “You look stunning.”
“And you’re handsome as ever.” You returned the compliment.
Paul pulled Fred into his side once you withdrew. You saw him whisper something into Fred’s ear, and Fred laughed and whispered something back, but you couldn’t quite make any of it out.
When Fred pulled away, you shook your head at him with furrowed brows and pursed lips. A small way of asking ‘What was that about?’ Fred smiled and shook his head, ‘Don’t worry about it.’
“Alright, you two!” Paul clapped his hands, breaking the moment. “Picture time!”
“Do I look okay?” You turned to Fred, hand coming up to make sure your hair was in place. You were facing him now, your colleagues to one side of you and the expanse of the carpet on the other side.
“You always look perfect.” He answered, eyes struggling to stay on yours. Always dipping down to your neck, your shoulders, your waist. He had to get a hold of himself, he thought.
As you raised your arm to make sure your earrings were on properly, one of your bracelets snagged at the neckline of your dress. Nothing had happened yet, but if you moved in the wrong way, you’d have a horrible wardrobe malfunction on your hands. A soft ‘Oh!’ escaped you as you realized what was happening. Fred’s eyes darted from yours to your hand, where your eyes were fixated on something.
“What happened?” He mumbled as he quickly moved you with his hands on your elbows and simultaneously stood in front of you, making sure the scene was as difficult as possible for the cameras to capture.
“My bracelet’s stuck,” you explained, eyebrows furrowed and eyes zoned in on the tangle.
His hands quickly covered yours, gently moving your fingers out of the way. “Here, let me.”
You rolled your eyes with a laugh. “You’re like my own personal assistant today.”
“Yeah?” He asked with a small smile, still working on your bracelet, glad that you seemed to be enjoying yourself even now.
He was a bit worried about you today, especially after he initially saw you at the entrance to the carpet. He knew the high of working on this project was coming down for you and he wanted to be there to support you through it all.
“Mhm,” you nodded, “first the train of my dress, now this. What next? You’re gonna pull out a powder puff and take care of the shine on my forehead?”
“If this suit had big enough pockets, I’d pull out a plane and fly us out of here.”
“Where would we go?” You laughed.
“I don’t know, the Maldives? Russia? The moon?” Fred laughed with you as he pulled your hand back down, your bracelet and your dress back to their previous intact positions.
“Well, I already told you two that I want to go take pictures.” Paul’s voice broke the bubble that seemed to continuously form around the two of you. He stood next to you and placed a hand on your and Fred’s shoulders. “Hate to ruin the moment, lovebirds, but there’s only so much time before the movie starts inside.”
Paul pushed the two of you towards the spot prepared for the photos. Ahead of you was the rest of the cast, all lined up. Pedro Pascal, Connie Neilsen, Joseph Quinn, and Denzel Washington all stood together chatting and laughing. Paul went and stood next to Pedro, and Joseph made room for Fred between him and Denzel. You slid up next to Paul, feeling like it was the best fit for you between the group of people without causing another shuffle.
Paul scanned the lineup, eyes flicking between you and Fred when his eyes narrowed slightly. “This won’t do.”
Without another word, he began casually nudging people aside, muttering something to Pedro, giving Joseph a knowing look. Slowly but deliberately, he carved out a space beside Fred.
A space for you.
“There. Much better,” he smirked, stepping back to admire his handiwork. He placed a firm hand on your shoulder and pulled you into place.
Your cheeks burned as Fred grinned and tugged you closer into his side. Joseph smiled knowingly at you and draped an arm across your shoulders.
Paul darted back to his place and in turn the cameras flashing intensified.
‘paul fred and y/n seem like such good friends i could cry 😢’
‘we all know paul has tiktok and hes in the loop, this man knows exactly what hes doing to us fred x y/n shippers’
‘HIM FIXING HER DRESS LIKE THAT? TOMDAYA 2.0! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS 😩’
‘guys! a lip reader figured this one out! paul: ‘you’re smitten and you’re not being subtle about it’ and FRED SAID ‘who said i wanna be subtle?’ IS HE NOT THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD?’ ↳‘paul ships it, he’s on our team’ ↳ ‘and he was telling her how good she looks at the other end of the carpet, did you see?’ ↳ ‘at one point he even says ‘you’re my love’ and i just about melted’ ↳ ‘no he said ‘lovie’! that’s what caracalla calls her in that one scene! NO SPOILERS GUYS!!!’
‘FRED THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!’
‘i can’t tell if i want y/n or if i want to be her’
‘paul making sure y/n is next to fred during the group photo’ ↳ ‘did you see how joseph looked at them!! everyone ships these two!’ ↳ ‘goes to show how literally everyone is rooting for these two’ ↳ ‘so true! they’re the cutest couple ive ever seen i feel like a proud mom’
‘first he fixes the train of her dress, next he helps her when her bracelet gets stuck, then what? huh? i die? is that what these two want from me?’
‘never getting over the cast making sure theyre next to each other in the group pic, theyre so loved’ ↳ ‘you mean paul specifically lol’
After a few pictures were snapped, a coordinator in charge of the media coverage told you to reshuffle. They wanted a few photos of Fred with Joseph and Denzel, and some of just the two of them. Some of Connie and Pedro, and some with Paul as well. A mixture of photos that represented their work together on screen. And of course they wanted some of you and Fred, and some with Joseph. And the last group on the list was you, Fred, and Paul.
When Paul came to join you, he placed his arm across Fred's on your lower back, both of their hands now landing on either side of your waist. “Hey,” He smiled warmly at you. “You alright?”
You hummed in confirmation. “Thank you for that, back there.” You tilted your head to the side, knowing Paul would understand that you meant how he made sure to put you next to Fred in the group photo.
“I have no clue what you're talking about.” He smirked, eyes fixed forwards on the cameras. But his hand squeezing lightly at your waist told you otherwise. He was so perceptive when it came to you, making you feel like you were an open book. It brought you back to a day on set. A long time ago. When the concept of you and Fred was something you were too afraid to talk about out loud in fear of ruining the magic of it. Your relationship was on the precipice, the very edge of friendship before the ocean of something more.
The day, you had confided in Paul about the very thing that led him to do what he did only moments ago.
~
“You guys are cute.” He had said, catching you admiring your lock screen. It was a picture of you and Fred on a picnic blanket. Paul had taken it the day before. Everyone on set thought it was a nice idea to have lunch outside. The weather was perfect, the grass was green, and there were butterflies everywhere. You and Fred took a blanket for yourselves, to no one’s surprise.
It was the next day that you were sitting with Paul on the set of the Colosseum and he showed you the picture he took of you. You quickly changed your phone wallpaper after he sent you the photo at your request. It wasn’t anything fancy, his film was still getting developed, though he promised you loads of pictures from that once it was done. This picture was just taken on his phone camera, but it was just as beautiful to you. He was so talented with cameras, capturing each moment beautifully you could almost hear it.
“Thanks.” You replied, avoiding his eyes. It felt strange—this fragile stage of something new unfolding under so many watchful eyes. But you knew that would be a sacrifice that you’d have to make. Especially with how slow you were going with Fred.
“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Paul asked. You hummed in response, asking for elaboration. “Us watching?”
“What do you mean?” You asked, needing further explanation. He couldn’t read your mind, could he? Was he really asking about the same thing you were thinking of? Were you that easy to read? Maybe to Paul, you were.
“I know you guys are taking it slow,” Paul said softly, like it was a secret he wasn’t supposed to know. Your eyes lifted to meet his. “Fred told me.”
“He talks to you about me?” You asked, your smile evident in the tone of your voice.
“Always.” He replied, smiling just as wide as you unknowingly were. You and Fred were some of his closest friends on set. You all had the same sense of humor and attitude towards life, it was easy to find companionship with the two of you. And he wasn’t surprised that you two found love within each other. But he worried about it at times. “He always talks about you.”
“All good things, I hope.” You chuckled quietly, the smile ever growing on your face as you thought of what Fred might tell Paul in your absence. Maybe he mentioned your weird obsession with stuffed animals, or how you clung to his arm whenever the two of you went for a walk.
After a beat of silence, you remembered his question and your brows knitted in thought. “Why would it make me uncomfortable?”
Paul inhaled through his nose and looked out onto the bleachers ahead of you. “I don’t know… It’s just that- I don’t think I would be comfortable in your position, is all.”
“Why is that?” You knew how you felt about it all, but you always explained away your emotions. A bad habit, you knew. But you were genuinely curious and wanted to hear a somewhat objective opinion on this whole situation.
“Just feels so-” He looked back at you now, studying you. Hoping, even, to see something telling in your expression at his confession. “Exposed, in a way. Raw. Like these feelings that really only one person should know about are on display to everyone around me.”
“Says the guy who had a first date on a live stream.” You retorted, the playful jab coming quick to mind.
Paul shook his head with a chuckle. “You know what I mean, dickhead.”
Your head cocked to the side as you thought of his words, truly taking them in. “I guess it does kind of make me feel strange.”
“Yeah?” Paul’s brows raised, appraising your face once more.
You nodded with a hum. “I’ve never- I mean, I’ve never really had a proper relationship. I don’t think I can even call this one a proper relationship. Not yet, anyways. And when I really think of it, it does feel a little unfair that what I always thought would be intimate and private is on display like this.”
“I’m sorry.” Paul spoke morosely.
“It’s not your fault.” You smiled softly, placing your hand on his.
“Feels like it is sometimes.” He admitted. You shot him a questioning look. “‘Cause of the pictures.” He explained. “I just want to capture the moment. For you guys, not for anyone else. But whenever I point a camera your way, it’s like I’m pulling everyone’s attention to you with it. I feel guilty whenever you two are having a moment and everyone’s staring. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“I think we’re asking for it a little.” You huffed out a laugh, squinting in the sun. The underlying bitterness in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by Paul. “It’s a bit dumb to try and start a relationship in an environment like this. Months on end on one set with the same group of people. It’s annoying to have everyone’s attention like that, but everyone else probably thinks we’re annoying too.”
“No, don’t say that.” Paul shook his head, his eyes sharp as he shot down your self-blame. “You don’t plan out relationships in advance, that’s not how things work. We’re not like normal people, we don’t get to clock out and go home when time’s up. We’ve moved to fuckin’ Malta, we film day and night. We eat, sleep, and breathe on this set. And if something like that does happen, where would you even hide it? You can’t! Not that well anyways… You guys are doing this well. Better than most.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, I do.” He nodded with certainty. “And I… I didn’t know this was your first relationship. I’m sorry. It’s not fair to you.” He apologized again and your heart squeezed.
“Yeah.” Your lips pressed together in a combination of agreement and embarrassment. “But it’s okay. To answer your question, I mean. I don’t think- I don’t feel uncomfortable.”
“No?”
“No.” You shook your head. “He makes me feel safe—like I’m home. Like we’re in a bubble where nothing bad can happen.”
~
Tucked into Fred’s side, surrounded by the cameras and the noise of the final premiere, you felt that same comfort—like you were in your own bubble with him. There were still interviews, panels, and endless appearances ahead, but this moment felt like the end of something special. And you were grateful that Fred was here, anchoring you through it all.
next part>>
#fred hechinger#fred hechinger x you#fred hechinger gladiator#fred hechinger x reader#emperor caracalla x reader#emperor caracalla#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#paul mescal#joseph quinn#tell me what you think!!#send me a blueberry emoji in my inbox if ur reading these tags!#how was the pacing? the intimacy? everything!!#come scream in my inbox if ud like that would also make me happy#but i would also enjoy an indepth break down of everything u liked and what u want more of lol#next part is like a convention panel with loads of questions#but one specific question will give us a heavy flashback that will be the big chunk of the fic i think#any ideas for questions we can ask these two?#or specific things u want info on that can be the questions?#anything anything anything please please please#i vibe with a bit of collaborative effort#keep it to my inbox please private messages make me nervous lol
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Wei Wuxian should be able to get drunk for once. I think he'd either be singing bawdy drinking songs on the roof of the Jingshi or he'd be getting irrevocably lost no matter where he is. He's found in the bushes behind the mountains like a cryptid, and then he's like "I can't believe you all got lost" (extremely slurred) as if he didn't get embarrassed by something Lan Wangji had said and just somehow disappeared when everyone looked back at him
oh ABSOLUTELY im walking with u and nodding and agreeing, i can see him becoming an absolute menace to keep track of at his drunkest.
anyway heres wonderwall The Gang (Wangxian & their fave group of ducklings) in a city known for its STRONG wine and wuxian being like well. ur all grown now, youre technically not juniors anymore. we have to see whos lasting the longest against this stuff!, smash cut to a suspiciously wei ying-less group of the worlds drunkest cultivators being wrangled through the woods by designated driver hanguang-jun, with at least 2 of them clinging to his robes at all times.
#i ALSOOOO LOVE the hc that wuxians just. very affectionate when drunk. bc he lowkey is that way in canon#we dont really know if the alcohols affecting him a lot when him n wangji r drinking but he sure is affectionate#but i think thats Stage One of drunk wuxian. like b99 with the 1-drink-amy system#he goes Unaffected -> lovey dovey -> musical -> fucking off into the woods#also THE IMAGES ARE LOADING IN WE DID IT GANG!#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#sketch#doodle#jin ling#lan sizhui#lan jingyi#ouyang zizhen#sizhui came back to life somewhere between the Petname Drop and the ensuing panic he felt the Anxious Dad vibes radiating off wangji#wangji Attempts to question wwx as to why the fuck he RAN AWAY???? when he sobers up and all wwx has to offer to the conversation is#'well to be fair im a fragile man'#as if that explains anything#except post-canon wangxian understand eachother far too well so it does in fact explain everything#wwx when lwj is nice to him: ???husband is unyielding???husband is cruel??? husband wants me dead??? husband wants me to have heart attack?#JAIL for husband! JAIL FOR 1000 YEARS! but first! self imposed exile!#i was gonna make this longer so it made more sense and was actually good but its 00:38 so u see why i dont wanna? anyway#wwx drunk out of his mind on the roof of the jingshi with wen ning: BIG DIRTY STINKIN BASS! DIRTY STINKIN BASS! DIRTY DIRTY STINKIN BASS#lwj who just got back from a solo nighthunt internally: i wasnt aware he COULD get drunk? am i impressed? i think im impressed?#also the stick in his waistband. very much not chenqing. he dropped chenqing at some point and just pciked up a random stick and was like#yuh thatll do#and fun fact it will not in fact do
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saw post abt wg villains as batman villains from @adriantheanimator09 and so made some arts hehe😌
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/71b3e09e35a9a6945bcd7afae7afa279/baa2c2645b762a95-6d/s640x960/2ed093200d5093da0ece6f2ea709023ad1f7183a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9b6e35fffcda1456688fcd7c235a38dc/baa2c2645b762a95-23/s540x810/cbad56a57e7af2e4a5110d87cef2322564675bac.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b6e28ef6a2935674f137bcd6f62be3a0/baa2c2645b762a95-08/s540x810/25aa191c858d5d5a0f919445b4f024d214ac2c47.jpg)
#wordgirl#word girl#dr two brains#steven boxleitner#mr big#mr big wordgirl#ms question#miss question#chuck the evil sandwich making guy#wordgirl chuck#becky botsford#bob botsford#captain huggyface#lady redundant woman#shoul i put batman tag....... hm hm#i guess not cause im not too familiar with this franchise and not into fandom :/#though i like some games#ok tell me if i should put batman tag ill think about it
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So, a few days ago I found this post on Reddit from 2 years ago (that sadly barely got any attention at the time) that sheds a ton of light on the separation scene between Gon and Killua, and my mind is blown! I've known for years that there was some sort of Togashi "coding" in the dialogue and it was always like I could get halfway to understanding, but this post gives the rest of the puzzle pieces that I was missing, and ties into other scenes that I was uncertain about the meaning of as well. It's heartbreaking, but also hopeful for their future! I had to share it with you all. Please read it!
The original Reddit post has been deleted, but here is a link to the author's Reddit profile. (I received permission from the original author to post this here.)
In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'
The translations across the separation scene in both manga (chp 338) and the anime (ep 147, 2011) have some shortfalls. These dialogues are vital for understanding even the first layer of reasons behind this separation.
REASONS FOR KILLUA'S DELICATELY PLANNED SEPARATION
1. WHEN -
There are very important reasons why Killua picked a specific timing to tell Gon about Alluka. It was Killua's plan all along, to only tell Gon at a moment's notice, to make sure Gon won’t get time to ask any DETAILS. He is deliberately downplaying the seriousness of everything he’s been through to heal Gon, so it will have less impact on Gon, and at the same time, avoid Gon asking details. Prior to healing Gon, Killua specifically asked Morel and Leorio to promise not to tell Gon that he saved him. After Gon was healed, there was a scene in the anime (ep 148) which showed the three spent a night together before reaching the World Tree. During that time, Killua still haven't said anything. It wasn't until the moment when they were literally saying the last goodbye, Killua casually brought up:
“Oh, by the way, this guy healed you."
I want to emphasis the word Killua used to address Alluka was “こいつ”. This is a very light and overly casual word used to address someone you know, and usually a playful guy friend (e.g. “This guy used to be my neighbour.” type of feeling). The manga and anime translation, “She’s the one that healed you,” did not clearly depict the intentional casualness.
2. WHAT was SAID -
If Killua just doesn’t want to burden Gon with guilt and responsibility, then why not just keep his mouth shut and say nothing? That’s because Killua found a better option than not telling Gon anything. Killua shifted the “priority of reasons” a bit, so the VERSION OF EVENTS he told Gon, was PRIORITIZED on Alluka’s rescue rather than healing Gon. This way, they will also get to THANK Gon, and put an emphasis on thanking Gon because Killua make it SEEMED like it was more important to rescue Alluka, that the INITIAL REASON for Killua to go home, was to rescue Alluka. Only AFTER Alluka was freed, they came to the hospital to heal Gon, out of convenience, since only Alluka has the ability to do so, and since she’s now outside. The MAIN motive for these past events has been delicately swapped around by Killua, so the focus switched to the rescue of Alluka, rather than healing Gon. Hence Alluka is “No. 1”, Gon is “No. 2”. Downplaying it so healing Gon was just a bonus convenience (ep 147, 19:12 to 19:51).
Killua then goes on another level to make this version of events seem even more realistic, by saying “….You owe me a lot now,” in a teasing and playful tone of voice. This is to again, downplay the seriousness of everything he’s been through, to comfort Gon that "Yes you owe me one now, but don’t you worry! I will make sure you pay it back okay?! Hehe!”
3. WHY -
The fight with Pitou allowed Killua to witness Gon's ultimately immature mind set when it comes to “repaying someone, and redeeming himself.” Kite lost an arm and his life to protect him. So Gon gave his life and was even more happy when Pitou took his arm too. Gon will always want to “match” what was sacrificed by another, by throwing away AT LEAST the same. Not “sacrificing”, but THROWING AWAY. It’s so immature, so dangerous, no one will be able to keep up with him. Killua was very confident with how much he could take, but even Killua himself is at limit. This ultimate baka!! (ep 136, 17:50 - 20:17)
If this is how far Gon will go for Kite, he can only imagine what Gon would go recklessly into if he knew the DETAILS. This is when Killua decided on a way to part with Gon the way they did, and to PROVIDE him a particular REASON.
“I’m prepared to spent the rest of my life protecting her.”
This is the reason Killua wants Gon to know, but NOT what he actually wants to do with his life. Although it’s true he feels responsible and genuinely wish to protect Alluka and Nanika, but it’s not what he ultimately WANTS to do. He NEEDS to protect Alluka, but he WANTS to spent his entire life by the side of a certain baka…
After the previous events, Killua was traumatized, especially when he saw Gon's twisted decaying arm. That was a breaking point for him, after that, the only thing that matters THE MOST for him is for Gon to be safe. He also realized that in order to protect this baka... it’s better if he keeps a distance for now, until he finds a solution to keep Alluka safe from Illumi and his family.
4. THE PARTING -
By planning this parting with Gon, Killua hopes Gon will become detached from him. And that time and distance will slowly render him less important to Gon. So if he was to die... (because Illumi is hunting them down) he did for Alluka, he did it for the vow to protect Alluka, not Gon. We knew Killua always plans ahead, and here, he plants this reason for Gon in the future so he won’t need to feel responsible if he was to die protecting Alluka (or die with Alluka while Illumi is hunting them). This is what’s going through Killua’s head:
“If I die, you’re not responsible for anything. You don’t owe me anything, so NEVER throw your life away again. My only one wish, is for you to be safe. So here I am. I’m parting ways with you... Because I SAID you are only ... No. 2 ... I SAID you are not the most important to me.. So don’t think of me as the most important to you too….”
This, is Killua’s eternal Devotion.
5. THE RESULT -
As a result of this deliberate planning by Killua,
Gon was made to believe:
While I was recovering in hospital Killua had to go home and rescue his sister
Alluka is such a cute sister and she can grant Killua any wish?!!! Wow…that’s one cool sister…
Well… no wonder Killua thinks his cool sister is more important than me, it’s only natural.
Looks like Killua finally found what he wants to do. He will enjoy traveling the world with such a cool sister, it will be so much fun. I should be happy for him, I can’t hold him here... I have to let him go…
VS
The DETAILS omitted:
Gon was not recovering at all in the hospital. Killua RESORTED to USE Alluka in order to heal Gon.
Alluka’s blood stained dark past and the risks and uncertainty that still involves.
Baka Gon is always No. 1 !
Killua and Alluka are desperately trying to find a way to out of Illumi’s grasp. Illumi is hunting them down and trying to make Killua his puppet again. And this time it's not going to be just a needle in the head... Killua can feel it. And if things doesn’t work out, he will just kill Alluka.
These Reasons are the core of the separation. We have a song named “Reason”… aren’t the lyrics shedding a new layer of light now?
6. IMPORTANT WORDS ALLUKA USED TO FACILITATE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP AFTER REUNION -
Killua promised to “always be together” with Alluka.
But to this promise, Alluka’s response was always silent (episode 145, 3:32 to 4:19). She looked at Killua with deep thought. Because even in such a short amount of time, she realized Killua is doing all this to ALSO or MORE SO protect Gon. It was never just for her, it will never be just for her, and there will never be anyone more important than Gon for Killua. She’s moved by Killua’s devotion and resolve, and she can also feel his sadness…
If, the situation was different, if Gon was never there to begin with, and Killua just happened to solely come to Alluka’s rescue, and then make a promise to stay together with her forever, Alluka’s natural reaction will be melting with happiness, she’d be crying tears of joy, and hugging Killua. But in this instance, she was composed, she sensed her brother’s deep seriousness and sadness. That’s why later on, she reassured the two at parting, that they will see each other again, without disclosing Killua’s true REASONS.
The Exacted words Alluka used (Manga chpt 338, 2011 anime epi 147)
a. Manga translation: “I’m going to HUG my brother for a while and then I will LET HIM GO.”
b. Better translation: “I’m going to have my brother all to myself for a while and then I will let him free.”
c. The exacted phrase: “I’m going to Monopolise my brother Exclusively for a period of time, then I will Release him.”
独り占 (Monopolise Exclusively)
Very strong characters with Explicit meaning. Have it all to oneself. Same characters and meaning used in Chinese as well. (独占)
��放 (Release)
This is much more formal and serious than “let go”. It implies the subject was initially bound/locked/restricted. Also the same characters and meaning used in Chinese.
Alluka employed these words to imply a forceful lead in this “deal” of owning Killua exclusively. These words have an underlying tone of enslavement.
Why? Because Alluka knows, the harder she IMPOSES herself on Killua during their time together, the more effective it would be on the easing of Killua’s own guilt.
Killua felt immensely guilty.
No one will enjoy a relationship bound by guilt.
Alluka knows clearly that part of her brother’s promise, was formed with guilt, from using her and Nanika, that he was having fun with Gon while Alluka was literally forgotten. Although it's true that this was largely due to Illumi's manipulation, but the fact that he did just left her in the basement all this time was both unacceptable and unforgivable to Killua himself (episode 138, 13:28).
Therefore apart from protecting Gon, this was the other important reason for this separation. Almost as if Killua has accepted this as a befitting price to pay in order to redeem himself as a brother.
Alluka and Nanika have no condition nor demand in return for Killua’s requests. But Killua imposed a price on himself for having Gon healed. Out of guilt. Alluka knows, Nanika knows. That’s why Alluka used the word 解放 (release), because it will make Killua feel better, that he has complied with her ‘enslavement’, so when the time comes, Killua will be able to release HIMSELF from guilt, and go back to Gon, properly. Alluka loves her brother, and she’s prepared to help him towards a better relationship with Gon in the future, by helping him to eliminating this chain of guilt.
lol Alluka totally ships Gon and Killua ! XD
Thank you for reading.
#hunter x hunter#hxh#killugon#gonkillu#gon#killua#alluka#meta#PLEASE read this post if you have lingering questions and confusion about the separation!#like most of us do!#I think it's incredibly helpful and explains so much#having this makes a big difference to me in how I interpret the meaning and reasons for the separation#and what Togashi did and did not tell us with it
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what an incredibly normal and not at all autistic thing to say! (lying)
#truly this is SO funny#casually questioning his bestie's religious beliefs and then genuinely being like “what?? did i say something??”#and then he KEEPS GOING with that train of thought#not because hes an asshole. in his head he is genuinely just making conversation. theres just something so autistic about him#also complete tangent but is it just me or is that glass of water between hotch and jj massive. is it the communal water cup or something#why is it so big#full disclosure these images are slightly out of order. the last image here is before hotch and jj's reactions#but it was funnier to order them like this#reid: hmm morgan do you think the reason youve never feared satan is because youve never actually believed in god?#everyone: ...#reid: :)#spencer reid#autistic spencer reid#not fic#criminal minds#criminal minds rewatch#criminal minds s03e08#lucky#this is NOT a hate post by the way. pre-diagnosis i absolutely would have done this.#even now knowing people consider it offensive i could see myself saying something like this#shoutout to offputting autistic people!!#criminal minds 3x8
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Mama's boy(s) // Wip
#Ah yes the two brothers that make me want to pull all my guts out#I like to think that doflamingo was actually a pretty good big brother to rosinante#Before rosinante disappeared even after homing's death doflamingo did try to protect him in his own way#Their relationship makes me go mad it's complex and full of question marks#Full of what ifs possible scenarios just fill my brain#Anyway these are sketches for now and its better if i try to fall asleep i hope you enjoy!#my art#achieve the sun#morghy#art#fanart#one piece#donquixote doflamingo#donquixote rosinante#one piece doflamingo#op doflamingo#doflamingo one piece#op corazon#donquixote corazon#corazon op#corazon one piece#rosinante corazon#one piece rosinante#op rosinante#artists on tumblr#sketchbook art#sketches#sketchbook#one piece fanart
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If somebody in your life offers to knit or crochet or, really, create anything for you, please be an active participant in the creation of the piece they are making. I adore making and gifting things, but nothing bums me out quicker than a person who passively just goes "okay," to my ideas about what I'm making them - it can send the message that they won't like it, or that they don't care, even if they're happy about my offering. The back-and-forth feedback is a great way to make sure that you are being gifted something that was truly worth the time, effort, expertise, and money that will inevitably go into the gift!
I know it's really hard to be an active participant, believe me, I'm an anxious ball of horror, but it will only do good for both parties to interact in this situation. It is a big deal to be offered a hand-crafted gift, but it's also something we want you to love and use, and that can only happen if you tell us what would make you fall in love with what we create.
#advice#relationships#art#fiber art#knitting#crochet#i always try to remember that some people's responses to something big is to clam up and become more passive...#..i just want to remind you that you aren't in danger of Ruining Everything by suggesting things or asking questions or saying what YOU wan#like i asked my dad specifically how he would feel if i made him items SPECIFICALLY so i could gauge if he would like them for instance#i don't just want to create something i want the recipient to actually LIKE it#which is why i typically (not always) ask how somebody would feel about me giving them a specific gift#i know some people genuinely don't care in the sense that they would appreciate ANYTHING but sometimes that doesn't always translate i gues#im crocheting a set of coasters for my dad and i really hope hell truly like them because i'm not sure based on how he responded to my ideas#it makes me so happy to gift things but it's with the caveat that the recipient will think it is An Amazing Gift That Is SO Good And Useful
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just sitting here giggling at the idea of loki seeing mobius shirtless for the first time, seeing his top surgery scars, not really understanding where they came from since they’re a god shapeshifter and just use magic to alter their body
they trace them with their thumbs and just look at mobius, serious concern on their face, and they just ask, “who did this to you?”
and mobius bursts out laughing like, “me, girl.”
#lokius#loki laufeyson#mobius m mobius#gjdjfhshd the power went out at my place and i’m at my sisters#thinking about trans masc mobius#my beloved#and his gender-fluid shape shifting god partner who means well#this heat is making the brainrot worse tbh#t4t lokius save me#trans masc mobius#this is gonna need a tag of its own now i know it#season 1 mobius not really questioning why he had chest scars and not really caring#because the big picture and the sacred timeline and time keepers blah blah blah#oh no now i’m having Trans Mobius Thoughts post him finding out about being a variant#i’m a huge fan of mobius’ crisis of faith in s2 and now i need to add Gender Stuff to it jfjshfjhsd#please help me
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Do you ever think about how, even before this generation of fairytales, it was a well known fact that if you dont follow your destiny you will case to exist and die?
Do you ever think that knowing this Red and Wolf still went against their destiny ? Knowing that loving each other means that they are putting themselfs in a deadly danger?
Do you ever think about how two teenagers loved each other more then they feared death?
Do you think that after highschool they lived thinking any moment could be their last? Did they thought that if they are going to die becouse of their love at least they can die married?
Maybe after they got married and nothing happend to them , only then did they started living like they had time and dared to imagine them growing old together.
#oh well#that was enough from me for tonight#dont you think?#JUST SO I MAKE IT CLEAR#ASHLYNN AND HUNTER STARTED DATHING AFTER RAVEN QUESTIOND DESTINY#BECOUSE OF RAVEN THEY HAD COUREG FOR GOING AGAINST DESTINY#RED AND WOLF DIDNT HAVE ANYONE TO QUESTION DESTINY#class of classic has a maraders effect on me#you know#like when at start you are obsessed with the main characters#and then with thier parents#i just might start a side blog just for class of classic memes and incorecct quotes#mmm#still thinking about it thou#ever after high#class of classics#red riding hood#big bad wolf#eah badwolf#eah parents#eah
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#i am... redesigning some of my buggies#specifically me bee#my bumble beast in combo with the bee sona i made last year...#reblog for sample size if u want this isnt an important question#i am thinking abt the logistics of including support for itty bitty anthros that would be really Small#(like rodents and small lizards and bugs)#in an average to way above average anthro society#OR to just make it simple and make em all human range sizes#but#thats BORING#i need.... little houses for little beasts... and BIG houses for BIG beasts... and everyone is very casual abt it all because thats just#the way it is#anyways#im done rambling 4 now catch u all on the furry world building 2 electric boogaloo#this poll prolly wont effect what i do personally but it did make me curious what other ppl think
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I have some major gripes with the premise of 'Day of the Diesels' and honestly think it could be fixed if, for once, the stale 'Steamies vs Diesels' plotline had been disregarded and the movie actually showcased the diesels in a more sympathetic light.
I'm not here to say characters like Diesel, Arry & Bert, and Diesel 10 are completely blameless in their acquired bad rep. Lets face the fact, they're deceitful, have a rather aggressive approach to things, and more often than not they are out to cause trouble for others because they think it's funny.
But come on man... Going for the same kind of storyline where Steam Engines and Diesel Engines are at each other's buffers just for the fact they're different types of engine is kind of lazy at this point (especially considering the fact this was done before in 'Calling All Engines').
Wouldn't it be much more compelling if, for once, the diesels actually do have a rightful reason to be causing a ruckus (their home is decrepit, unsafe and lacks basic amenities for maintaining them) and (because they feel like they can't be upfront about their concerns due to their past misbehavior), they end up making this grand convoluted scheme that goes terribly sideways, but that ultimately gives way for some actual exploration of why Sir Topham Hatt's management of the diesels feels so underwhelming in comparison with the great care he takes in tending to his steam engines?
It could even be that the fat controller doesn't realize he's neglecting them a bit because he's so focused on trying to keep the steam engines from ever wanting for more (I mean, the time of steam has come to an end in the mainland, so of course he'd be worried about the future of his beloved steam engines he's had for so much longer!).
On a logical standpoint, it's considerably easier to get diesels and new parts for diesels nowadays, so Sir Topham Hatt would postpone something he feels like can be done in the snap of a finger versus something that might potentially take much too long... And that's the mistake here.
The fact the diesels can get new stuff so easily but don't, could be the crux of the issue. Prioritization, procrastination and perhaps a bit of forgetfulness and obliviousness to the mess one has made...
#Thomas and Friends#TTTE#Day of the Diesels#I wouldn't mind a rewrite of the movie where Diesel 10 is the protagonist and it dawns on him that his behavior is impacting the others#So he tries to fix things in the only way he knows how to and screws up anyway#but in doing so he actually manages to point out a glaring issue in the fat controller's management of the railway#it's so easy to think the fat controller treats all engines equally#but the state of the dieselworks put that into question for me#and the plot of big world big adventures does prove thomas is his favourite#I'm not saying he's the villain here just that he's human and humans make mistakes through poor handling of many tasks and a bit of bias#he grew up with steam engines it's only normal he's trying to adjust to handling diesel engines and not being as aware of their needs#also thomas is straight up an asshole in this movie and not the funny cheeky little shit we love#they mishandled his character so badly#(cameo from milfcutlawquane in this she had to suffer through this movie with me)
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Hey wait hang on a second
So when Optimus got kicked out of the Autobot Academy 1000 years ago in TFA, he got reassigned I assume right after to the space bridge repair crew, and from what I recall, Bulkhead and Bumblebee were already there, with Optimus and then Prowl being the last additions to the team
So in the grand scheme of things, the Archa Seven (it’s apparently not Arachna like I thought it was) incident wasn’t really that long ago. Like I was personally under the impression that this happened a long time ago and that 1000 years was our best estimate at how old Optimus was. But it really wasn’t that long ago, and also means it’s closer to being Bulkhead and Bumblebee’s standard of age, considering they’re the youngest and this was after their reassignment. I don’t know if that all made sense there, but what I mean is that 1000 years probably wasn’t that much of Optimus’ lifespan, he’s probably at least 1 million or so if we’re being real. 1000 years is how long the space bridge crew has been working together, minus Prowl
But also, doesn’t this mean that at the time Sentinel was Sentinel Minor and Bumblebee and Bulkhead’s drill sergeant, Optimus and Elita were still around? Like this means this was pre super-jerkification of Sentinel. Also does this mean Optimus and Elita were Minors at this time too? Were they drill sergeants for their own recruits? What rank did these three have when they went on the Archa Seven mission?
I’ve been under the impression that they were relative newbies when they did that, but looking at the timeline, they were probably relatively high ranking at the time. Though I mean I guess it better explains why Ultra Magnus let Optimus have the rank of Prime, because if he had done that while they were newbies, it’d be kind of a dick move to Sentinel, who has to actually work up at least two ranks for that (the Wiki tells me there’s Major in between Minor and Prime)
If I’m incorrect in this observation of mine, then my bad, I’m very stupid. But if this is the case, it changes a lot of how I view the timeline of this story; I thought the Archa Seven incident was way further back in the timeline relatively speaking
#just an observation I had while thinking about TFA#I don’t remember why anymore#but I was and now this information is messing with me#so if I’m wrong please tell me#because I will be pretty embarrassed if I’m making a big deal out of nothing#but will accept that I just misremembered and my original interpretation is the correct one#transformers#transformers animated#optimus prime#sentinel prime#tfa sentinel prime#random stuff#questions
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Okay. I'm going to be. Such a hater for a sec bcus like
I keep seeing this post around.
And like. As an autistic person I can see. How it's very easy to fall into this way of thinking. Because YES there is things we will never quite understand. And YES there is things that like. Neurotypical people won't understand. And whatever BUT. I THINK this is much more of like. A bad friend experience ?? More than ?? And autistic one? Like this is clearly just. Lack of communication especially since. This is about children. But also like. To me. It kind of feels like fear mongering yourself a little? And I just feel like it's really not the kind of thinking we should encourage within the autistic community as well bcus. There's so many nuances in friendships too? And like. How can you REALLY know. People from your childhood hated you? Did you ask? Did they really hate you? Truly? And like. Let's just. Not scare ourselves into "trusting our instincts" and then pushing people away/ not allowing ourselves to make new friends just because of one bad experience that. Honestly. Everyone has. This isn't an autistic experience, I fear. A lot of people get scared their friends don't like them. And a lot of people have had shitty friends. I'm not saying stuff like this doesn't happen. I just really don't think this is a good/healthy way to frame it. And. I know it can suck being disliked but let's not also act like people just. Aren't allowed to not click with each other. I just think we should be polite and open and able to communicate about it too. Yknow?
#idk theres probably like#more to be done and said here#and a big conversation for sure but#i just dont like this post#its a bit fear mongering#bcus I feel like. the wrong person could see a post like this and think#oh god#my friend didnt text me back#my friend made a weird face#you know what?#talk to them about it#sometimes. you're right. sometimes you're wrong.#but idk i just dont think this is an autism thing either. it could be BCUS im autism so it feels normal to question behaviours#but like I feel like it happens to a lot of people#idk ive had bad friends and ive had really really good friends. and like. i usually find the bad ones are very vocal and obvious about#their dislike of behaviors or wanting to change you#even the “ones who pretend to be nice” will still make comments but just frame it as a nice/ good thing#idk its not#its not a conspiracy. i guess#nobody like. secretly hates you. i guess. and if someone really did. thats on them not you#its not a bottom of tier experience bcus if someone is really like that? fuck them.#seriously.
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even after all these years the gang learning about noahs ghostliness is so funny to me. like obviously they are freaked out that their friend is dead and was murdered. but no one is having a revelation about ghosts being real its not even mentioned. its like yea yea we all accept the existence of ghosts. back to the one living in our apartment.
#obviously the fact that the realization is adams perspective is wonderful especially w him being the biggest skeptic#and i have a post w that already#but even hes like not at all surprised ghosts are real#and its so interesting that other than the corpse road spirits noah is the only real ghost we hear about in trc#parsifal is a possible ghost but to me it’s ambiguous whether carmen was inserting him into her life bc he was such a big influence that he#comtimues to do so beyond grave in her mind bc her decision making is still so influemced by him and his death#or she just doesnt have the sight but can tell hes interacting w her world#of course that brings in the question of what are ghosts but i literally had yall fill out a survey on that soooo beyond the current point#what do you guys think? is parsifal a real ghost? are there other ghosts in series?
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it’s the sound that tips him off.
it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.
just a ghost.
he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.
mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.
he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.
he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.
mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.
clear.
another small victory.
mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.
the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.
he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."
riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.
"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.
he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.
he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.
riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.
"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.
he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.
he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.
riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.
he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.
he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.
"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.
he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.
mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.
he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.
he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.
a low sniffle.
mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.
he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"
he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."
his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.
he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.
"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.
mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."
"prom'se?" he pushes.
he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."
riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.
"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.
mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."
he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.
#drug use#tw drugs#guess whos back on her 09 shit#its me bb!!!#anyway 09 ghost who’s just completely messy#if he’s not on an op then he’s at clubs drinking & taking anything he can get his hands on#mactavish knows what he gets up to and hates it#hates watching him destroy himself stumbling back to base with no memory of what - or who - he’s done#hates seeing him prod at bruises knowing he has no idea where they came from#mactavish is more pissed that whoever riley was with just left him like that and that riley is totally fine with it happening#more than once he's found him almost od'ing half passed out in his room or the showers#and every time riley will slur out apologies and promises mactavish knows better to believe#riley knows how much it hurts mactavish to see him like this but its just so painful to live in his head#he can’t help but try and get out of it the only way he knows how#this is pre relationship btw just to make it all hurt a little more#ghost never remembers how he ends up back in his own bed after a bender#the whole point of them is to forget#he’ll end up missing days at a time and never question what happened to him in the meantime#if he thinks hard enough sometimes he can pick up flashes of a familiar voice rasping in his ear and big hands moving his body#but it’s hard for him to believe they’re anymore than drug induced hallucinations of what he really wants#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#talk to me ghost#we’re a team. ghost team#09 soapghost#09 ghoap#soapghost#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod
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