#next part is like a convention panel with loads of questions

[djotime-allthetime]

Freaky Red Carpet

synopsis: your final red carpet appearance with fred for gladiator ii. (your first public appearance as a couple?)

wc: 4k+

warnings: rpf! reader is specified to be inexperienced!

a/n: same general vibes as the last one but more introspective ig, but we go into more specifics here as well as some backstory.

italics are supposed to be comments under tiktok clips of the premiere. feedback is writer's fuel!

cross posted on AO3

<<previous part

The screams and chaos of the premiere crashed over you as you stepped out of the car, a security guard’s hand reached for yours to steady you. This was it, the final big event. Even though it wasn’t over just yet, the nostalgia was creeping in, soft but persistent.

“Hey, pretty girl.” Fred’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. He stood only a few steps ahead of you, having just arrived himself. Your gaze softened, lingering on Fred, oblivious to the cameras snapping away. “You look…” His gaze dipped once—then again—tracing your figure. A soft, unguarded smile tugged at his lips, as if he didn’t realize he was doing it. As if he was completely enraptured by you. “You’re stunning, you know that?”

The ability to speak escaped you for only a moment, the words caught in your throat. “...Fred, you can’t-”

“No, I’m serious.” He shook his head, eyebrows raised. He walked forward and placed his hands on your shoulders, holding you in place to continue studying you, as if he was in awe. “Look at you.” His eyes finally found yours again. “You’re gorgeous, y/n.”

“Thank you.” The words felt stronger than your voice. You weren’t insecure—you knew you looked good tonight. But having someone say it like that—having Fred say it like that, like he couldn’t even keep the thought to himself—it nearly brought you to tears.

A deafening roar of cameras and voices dragged you back to reality. The glow of flashing lights blurred at the corners of your vision, and distant shouts of your name cut through the haze. You straightened your posture instinctively, smoothing invisible creases in your dress. But Fred could see it. He could see that small moment you tried to keep to yourself.

“Hey, come here.” He spoke softly, less of a request and more of a warning of the oncoming embrace. He pressed his hands between your shoulders blades once you settled into him, chin hooked against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head vehemently, the silky smooth finish of his suit rubbing against your neck. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I made you emotional.”

“You always make me emotional.” You chuckled, voice light to keep the tears at bay, unsure why they even came in the first place. “You look incredibly handsome tonight.” 

“Yeah?” He asked, his smile and excitement clear in his voice.

“Of course.” You pulled away and jerked your chin at his outfit. “We’re almost matching.”

With a quick second look at the color scheme of your outfit compared to his, Fred’s eyes lit up. “We are!”

“I think Grant and Leslie set us up.” You squinted your eyes conspiratorially. “I heard them talking about ‘all black looks’ yesterday.”

“Really?” He raised his brows at the information. “Come to think of it, Leslie refused to even entertain any of my suggestions today.” Fred laughed it off and reached down to hold you. His hands smoothly slid down your arms until they arrived at your hands, interlacing your fingers together. “Come on.” He tilted his head toward the carpet behind him. “Walk with me.”

“Down the carpet?” You gawked, frozen in place as he gently pulled you in the direction of the flashing lights.

“Yeah pretty, down the carpet.” Fred chuckled like you were joking. “It’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”

“You wanna take pictures with me? Like us- together?” You whispered to Fred, not fully paying attention to the cameras already catching every moment. As Fred’s hand tightened around yours, you realized.

You weren’t exactly hiding this—not entirely. Your blossoming relationship, that is. Keeping things personal and quiet felt right for both of you. But this—walking a red carpet together—had never been part of the plan.

“‘Course I wanna take pictures with you.” Fred answered, eyes soft but certain. “We worked super closely on this movie, y/n. I don’t think people will over analyze if we take pictures together on the carpet.” He shrugged. His words meant more than that, though. You knew he meant that you could do whatever you wanted. That you shouldn’t limit yourself in your relationship just because you wanted boundaries. Keeping it private didn’t mean keeping it a secret, like you were doing something wrong. 

“Besides, you’re my Lovie.” His voice softened, almost shy, like he wasn’t sure if you’d still claim the title in front of all these people.

Your neck grew warm at his words.

Lovie.

That was the name you and Fred called your deliberately unnamed character throughout filming. Caracalla called her ‘my love’ almost exclusively in the script. So it became your quick shorthand between each other. And soon after, the rest of the cast and crew called your character that as well. But it was different with Fred. After a while, it stopped being her name for him. It was you. You were his Lovie.

“Oh- Okay, yeah.” You nodded at Fred, accepting the idea of walking the carpet together, though still slightly apprehensive. 

“Yeah?” He asked again, just to make sure. And with another nod from you, Fred’s victorious smile lingered as his hand settled on the small of your back, sending sparks up your spine. “Gotta show off my girl,” he murmured, his hand pressing a little firmer into you. You weren’t sure if he wanted you to hear that or not, but you did. The way Fred could unravel you, seemingly without even trying, felt wildly unfair—like every tender gesture was second nature to him. 

He led you up the crimson steps, where the carpet shimmered beneath camera flashes and distant voices blurred into a roar. Your name and Fred’s were being called from every which way. Before you could stand still and face a specific group of photographers, Fred moved away from your side all of a sudden, his steps quick and fluid. 

“Fred?” you asked, instinctively glancing over your shoulder.

“One second.” His voice was low, nearly lost in the noise. When you turned, you saw Fred at your other side by your feet. He crouched smoothly to get closer to what he was after. The train of your dress. It wasn’t that long, but the small trek up the stairs had it all misshapen. With precise movements, he tugged at the fabric to position it into place. After he straightened it out sufficiently, he stood back up and stepped around his handiwork to come back at your side, arm looping around your waist to pull you back into him.

“You didn’t have to do all that.” You looked up at him through your lashes as your hands came up to rest against his chest. You adjusted his lapels in a subconscious attempt to return the favor, brushing away the imaginary lint on his chest and shoulders. Fred visibly blushed at your words, your hands on him, the way that you were looking at him, all of it. You displayed your emotions in a way that even he couldn’t dismiss. Not that he would want to. He loved it. Every moment. Being cared for so openly made his heart flutter and his ears turn red, it was exhilarating.

“I wanted to.” He reassured you, head nodding down softly, a subtle attempt at getting closer to you.

A piercing shout of your name followed by a burst of blinding light shattered the quiet moment.

The soft bubble you and Fred had built around yourselves burst, replaced by the harsh glare of cameras and the relentless hum of the crowd.

You dropped your hands from Fred’s chest, suddenly aware of how close you were.

But Fred’s hand stayed where it was, anchoring you in the thrashing waves of it all.

You turned this way and that, following the voices of photographers as they shouted out different poses they wanted to see.

“I could get used to this.” Fred spoke quietly, leaning down to whisper into your ear. 

You frowned in confusion and turned to look at him. “Which part exactly?” You asked. 

“Having the prettiest girl in the world on my arm.”

“Was this your plan tonight?” You couldn’t hide your grin no matter how hard you tried. “To kill me with compliments?”

“Not a bad way to die, no?” Fred furrowed his brows in faux seriousness, his mouth twitching in that way it did, a twinkle of mirth in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes with a giggle. “You’re a horrible man, Fred Hechinger.”

‘idk if they’re together or not and i want to be respectful but theyre literally the cutest people ever and if its true then theyre perfect for each other 🥺 truly wish them the best’

‘the mouth thing he does is actually the cutest thing ive ever seen’ ↳ ‘hottest. i think you mean hottest.’

‘look at the matching outfits!! i can’t! theyre too frickin cute!!!’ ↳ ‘its just all black lol y’all read into things too much 🙄’

‘we need a lip reader up in here 🗣️🗣️’

‘we love a man who knows the importance of the dress’

‘how does she just look better and better at each public appearance?!’

‘this is flirting one million percent’

‘either theyre together or theyre idiots, because this just might be true love’

‘we can’t assume that every interaction in hollywood means something more than it is, give them the privacy they deserve!’

‘what are they SAYINGGGG?!!?!’ ↳ ‘it definitely looks like he said ‘prettiest girl in the world’ there at the end, right?? call me crazy, but i can see his mouth moving so clearly it has to be it!’ ↳ ‘you’re definitely crazy, but also you’re definitely right’ ↳ ‘you’re right!!!! isn't that so relationship goals??’

Towards the end of the carpet, the rest of the cast were gathered to take a group photo. Paul saw the two of you approaching and his eyes lit up. 

“Took your sweet time, didn’t you?” He teased the two of you. “Been waiting all night!”

“Sorry,” you ducked your head as you confessed, smiling sheepishly. “Entirely my fault. I came late.”

“Ah, come here.” Paul laughed as he brushed it off and pulled you into a hug. “You look stunning.”

“And you’re handsome as ever.” You returned the compliment.

Paul pulled Fred into his side once you withdrew. You saw him whisper something into Fred’s ear, and Fred laughed and whispered something back, but you couldn’t quite make any of it out. 

When Fred pulled away, you shook your head at him with furrowed brows and pursed lips. A small way of asking ‘What was that about?’ Fred smiled and shook his head, ‘Don’t worry about it.’

“Alright, you two!” Paul clapped his hands, breaking the moment. “Picture time!”

“Do I look okay?” You turned to Fred, hand coming up to make sure your hair was in place. You were facing him now, your colleagues to one side of you and the expanse of the carpet on the other side. 

“You always look perfect.” He answered, eyes struggling to stay on yours. Always dipping down to your neck, your shoulders, your waist. He had to get a hold of himself, he thought. 

As you raised your arm to make sure your earrings were on properly, one of your bracelets snagged at the neckline of your dress. Nothing had happened yet, but if you moved in the wrong way, you’d have a horrible wardrobe malfunction on your hands. A soft ‘Oh!’ escaped you as you realized what was happening. Fred’s eyes darted from yours to your hand, where your eyes were fixated on something.

“What happened?” He mumbled as he quickly moved you with his hands on your elbows and simultaneously stood in front of you, making sure the scene was as difficult as possible for the cameras to capture.

“My bracelet’s stuck,” you explained, eyebrows furrowed and eyes zoned in on the tangle. 

His hands quickly covered yours, gently moving your fingers out of the way. “Here, let me.”

You rolled your eyes with a laugh. “You’re like my own personal assistant today.”

“Yeah?” He asked with a small smile, still working on your bracelet, glad that you seemed to be enjoying yourself even now.

He was a bit worried about you today, especially after he initially saw you at the entrance to the carpet. He knew the high of working on this project was coming down for you and he wanted to be there to support you through it all. 

“Mhm,” you nodded, “first the train of my dress, now this. What next? You’re gonna pull out a powder puff and take care of the shine on my forehead?”

“If this suit had big enough pockets, I’d pull out a plane and fly us out of here.”

“Where would we go?” You laughed.

“I don’t know, the Maldives? Russia? The moon?” Fred laughed with you as he pulled your hand back down, your bracelet and your dress back to their previous intact positions.

“Well, I already told you two that I want to go take pictures.” Paul’s voice broke the bubble that seemed to continuously form around the two of you. He stood next to you and placed a hand on your and Fred’s shoulders. “Hate to ruin the moment, lovebirds, but there’s only so much time before the movie starts inside.”

Paul pushed the two of you towards the spot prepared for the photos. Ahead of you was the rest of the cast, all lined up. Pedro Pascal, Connie Neilsen, Joseph Quinn, and Denzel Washington all stood together chatting and laughing. Paul went and stood next to Pedro, and Joseph made room for Fred between him and Denzel. You slid up next to Paul, feeling like it was the best fit for you between the group of people without causing another shuffle. 

Paul scanned the lineup, eyes flicking between you and Fred when his eyes narrowed slightly. “This won’t do.”

Without another word, he began casually nudging people aside, muttering something to Pedro, giving Joseph a knowing look. Slowly but deliberately, he carved out a space beside Fred.

A space for you.

“There. Much better,” he smirked, stepping back to admire his handiwork. He placed a firm hand on your shoulder and pulled you into place.

Your cheeks burned as Fred grinned and tugged you closer into his side. Joseph smiled knowingly at you and draped an arm across your shoulders.

Paul darted back to his place and in turn the cameras flashing intensified.

‘paul fred and y/n seem like such good friends i could cry 😢’

‘we all know paul has tiktok and hes in the loop, this man knows exactly what hes doing to us fred x y/n shippers’

‘HIM FIXING HER DRESS LIKE THAT? TOMDAYA 2.0! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS 😩’

‘guys! a lip reader figured this one out! paul: ‘you’re smitten and you’re not being subtle about it’ and FRED SAID ‘who said i wanna be subtle?’ IS HE NOT THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD?’ ↳‘paul ships it, he’s on our team’ ↳ ‘and he was telling her how good she looks at the other end of the carpet, did you see?’ ↳ ‘at one point he even says ‘you’re my love’ and i just about melted’ ↳ ‘no he said ‘lovie’! that’s what caracalla calls her in that one scene! NO SPOILERS GUYS!!!’

‘FRED THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!’

‘i can’t tell if i want y/n or if i want to be her’

‘paul making sure y/n is next to fred during the group photo’ ↳ ‘did you see how joseph looked at them!! everyone ships these two!’ ↳ ‘goes to show how literally everyone is rooting for these two’ ↳ ‘so true! they’re the cutest couple ive ever seen i feel like a proud mom’

‘first he fixes the train of her dress, next he helps her when her bracelet gets stuck, then what? huh? i die? is that what these two want from me?’

‘never getting over the cast making sure theyre next to each other in the group pic, theyre so loved’ ↳ ‘you mean paul specifically lol’

After a few pictures were snapped, a coordinator in charge of the media coverage told you to reshuffle. They wanted a few photos of Fred with Joseph and Denzel, and some of just the two of them. Some of Connie and Pedro, and some with Paul as well. A mixture of photos that represented their work together on screen. And of course they wanted some of you and Fred, and some with Joseph. And the last group on the list was you, Fred, and Paul.

When Paul came to join you, he placed his arm across Fred's on your lower back, both of their hands now landing on either side of your waist. “Hey,” He smiled warmly at you. “You alright?” 

You hummed in confirmation. “Thank you for that, back there.” You tilted your head to the side, knowing Paul would understand that you meant how he made sure to put you next to Fred in the group photo.

“I have no clue what you're talking about.” He smirked, eyes fixed forwards on the cameras. But his hand squeezing lightly at your waist told you otherwise. He was so perceptive when it came to you, making you feel like you were an open book. It brought you back to a day on set. A long time ago. When the concept of you and Fred was something you were too afraid to talk about out loud in fear of ruining the magic of it. Your relationship was on the precipice, the very edge of friendship before the ocean of something more.

The day, you had confided in Paul about the very thing that led him to do what he did only moments ago.

~

“You guys are cute.” He had said, catching you admiring your lock screen. It was a picture of you and Fred on a picnic blanket. Paul had taken it the day before. Everyone on set thought it was a nice idea to have lunch outside. The weather was perfect, the grass was green, and there were butterflies everywhere. You and Fred took a blanket for yourselves, to no one’s surprise. 

It was the next day that you were sitting with Paul on the set of the Colosseum and he showed you the picture he took of you. You quickly changed your phone wallpaper after he sent you the photo at your request. It wasn’t anything fancy, his film was still getting developed, though he promised you loads of pictures from that once it was done. This picture was just taken on his phone camera, but it was just as beautiful to you. He was so talented with cameras, capturing each moment beautifully you could almost hear it.

“Thanks.” You replied, avoiding his eyes. It felt strange—this fragile stage of something new unfolding under so many watchful eyes. But you knew that would be a sacrifice that you’d have to make. Especially with how slow you were going with Fred.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Paul asked. You hummed in response, asking for elaboration. “Us watching?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, needing further explanation. He couldn’t read your mind, could he? Was he really asking about the same thing you were thinking of? Were you that easy to read? Maybe to Paul, you were.

“I know you guys are taking it slow,” Paul said softly, like it was a secret he wasn’t supposed to know. Your eyes lifted to meet his. “Fred told me.”

“He talks to you about me?” You asked, your smile evident in the tone of your voice.

“Always.” He replied, smiling just as wide as you unknowingly were. You and Fred were some of his closest friends on set. You all had the same sense of humor and attitude towards life, it was easy to find companionship with the two of you. And he wasn’t surprised that you two found love within each other. But he worried about it at times. “He always talks about you.”

“All good things, I hope.” You chuckled quietly, the smile ever growing on your face as you thought of what Fred might tell Paul in your absence. Maybe he mentioned your weird obsession with stuffed animals, or how you clung to his arm whenever the two of you went for a walk.

After a beat of silence, you remembered his question and your brows knitted in thought. “Why would it make me uncomfortable?”

Paul inhaled through his nose and looked out onto the bleachers ahead of you. “I don’t know… It’s just that- I don’t think I would be comfortable in your position, is all.”

“Why is that?” You knew how you felt about it all, but you always explained away your emotions. A bad habit, you knew. But you were genuinely curious and wanted to hear a somewhat objective opinion on this whole situation. 

“Just feels so-” He looked back at you now, studying you. Hoping, even, to see something telling in your expression at his confession. “Exposed, in a way. Raw. Like these feelings that really only one person should know about are on display to everyone around me.”

“Says the guy who had a first date on a live stream.” You retorted, the playful jab coming quick to mind.

Paul shook his head with a chuckle. “You know what I mean, dickhead.”

Your head cocked to the side as you thought of his words, truly taking them in. “I guess it does kind of make me feel strange.”

“Yeah?” Paul’s brows raised, appraising your face once more.

You nodded with a hum. “I’ve never- I mean, I’ve never really had a proper relationship. I don’t think I can even call this one a proper relationship. Not yet, anyways. And when I really think of it, it does feel a little unfair that what I always thought would be intimate and private is on display like this.”

“I’m sorry.” Paul spoke morosely.

“It’s not your fault.” You smiled softly, placing your hand on his. 

“Feels like it is sometimes.” He admitted. You shot him a questioning look. “‘Cause of the pictures.” He explained. “I just want to capture the moment. For you guys, not for anyone else. But whenever I point a camera your way, it’s like I’m pulling everyone’s attention to you with it. I feel guilty whenever you two are having a moment and everyone’s staring. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“I think we’re asking for it a little.” You huffed out a laugh, squinting in the sun. The underlying bitterness in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by Paul. “It’s a bit dumb to try and start a relationship in an environment like this. Months on end on one set with the same group of people. It’s annoying to have everyone’s attention like that, but everyone else probably thinks we’re annoying too.”

“No, don’t say that.” Paul shook his head, his eyes sharp as he shot down your self-blame. “You don’t plan out relationships in advance, that’s not how things work. We’re not like normal people, we don’t get to clock out and go home when time’s up. We’ve moved to fuckin’ Malta, we film day and night. We eat, sleep, and breathe on this set. And if something like that does happen, where would you even hide it? You can’t! Not that well anyways… You guys are doing this well. Better than most.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded with certainty. “And I… I didn’t know this was your first relationship. I’m sorry. It’s not fair to you.” He apologized again and your heart squeezed. 

“Yeah.” Your lips pressed together in a combination of agreement and embarrassment. “But it’s okay. To answer your question, I mean. I don’t think- I don’t feel uncomfortable.”

“No?”

“No.” You shook your head. “He makes me feel safe—like I’m home. Like we’re in a bubble where nothing bad can happen.”

~

Tucked into Fred’s side, surrounded by the cameras and the noise of the final premiere, you felt that same comfort—like you were in your own bubble with him. There were still interviews, panels, and endless appearances ahead, but this moment felt like the end of something special. And you were grateful that Fred was here, anchoring you through it all.

[amberjazmyn]

carry on - chapter seven

another long chapter awaits! enjoy my lovelies!

okay, why did i just say yes to singing a bon jovi song in front of the whole of rome, italy for a convention. when the last time i sang in front of anyone it was maybe like, nearly a decade ago? and now, i was literally being cheered on because one of the fan questions from the actual convention was if i could sing a song at the orion club with louden swain and without thinking, i just said yes. i said yes because i have never once declined a fans question or refused to answer whatever it is they've asked. however, as of right now, i kinda wish my adrenaline rush wasn't so high otherwise, i maybe would have given that question to jensen, or even rob or rich. 

"...valencia, you ready sweetheart?" rob whispers as i huff out and nod my head, kinda thinking that if i wait any longer, it'll just become way worse

plus, it's better to just get it over and done with than wait any longer otherwise i'll never say i'm ready and i'll never end up doing it. besides, who knows, like jensen, i may end up enjoying it and end up doing this regularly. 

"as ready as i'll ever be, let's do it!" i giggled as the crowd cheered as did my fellow cast members, jensen, jared, misha, rob, rich, genevieve and my boyfriend alex being the loudest as i cheered again

louden swain started playing their instruments to the very familar, famous chords of wanted, dead or alive by jon bon jovi as i started to sing. only hoping that i sounded better than average. 

as i went through the first verse, i found myself getting more confident in myself and having fun with it as jensen then came on stage with a microphone. he had started to sing with me as i couldn't hide the smile on my face as we continued to rock it like it was the ninety's. 

"...cause i'm a cowboy, on a steel horse i ride. i'm wanted (wanted), dead or alive!"

in all honesty, maybe it was a good idea that i had agreed to answer that fan question as the entire time, i had noticed the girl, who had also come to this orion club that had asked the question at the panel, had been singing along and dancing the entire time jensen and i had been singing. it seemed as if although this is a song from the eighties and a favourite of mine growing up, it was also an important song for her as well which was the sweetest thing ever that she had asked me to sing it. 

looking over to alex, jensen and the rest of my castmates, i couldn't believe how much i loved this job that i've had since i was a kid. jensen and i were having the times of our lives on this stage whilst alex and the rest of the cast were so happy and having the time of their lives. jensen and i just kept on singing and bouncing around like we were in our twenties (well, i still was) and having the times of our lives at our favourite club whilst the audience and rest of our castmembers just laughed and sang along. 

"and i walk these streets, loaded six-string on my back. i play for keeps 'case i might not make it back. i've been everywhere, still i'm standing tall, i've seen a million faces and i've rocked them all," 

i sang as jensen then joined me for the chorus as we rocked n rolled together as everyone went crazy. 

"'cause i'm a cowboy, on a steel horse i ride, i'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive. 'cause i'm a cowboy, i got the night on my side and i'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive!" 

jensen and i sang as jensen then got the next part whilst i just stood back as i watched him also rock it on the stage with me as i couldn't hide the smile i had. the smile for the man who i could literally call one of my brothers. 

"and i ride (and i ride) dead or alive! i still drive (i still drive) dead or alive," 

jensen and i then sang the last four lives which were just dead or alive repeated those four times before we then waited for the big ending and we did the very big dramatic jump that was done almost every convention. or any song performance that required such energy as the legendary jon bon jovi exudes. 

liked by alexandercalvert, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles and 16.45k others

valenciawalker would it be a mortal sin if i scrapped supernatural and got a record deal instead?

in all seriousness, singing has been a passion of mine ever since i could remember. i'm sure if you ever and i mean ever, ask jared, jackles, misha, alcal and everyone else on the set of supernatural, they will tell you, i am always singing no matter what. a dream of mine would be to for sure make a career out of my passion which is singing...so, should i take a break from supernatural and work on some covers, originals and put them on my spotify? 

view 1500 comments

alexandercalvert you could do both...

valenciawalker alexandercalvert i defo could tho 

jaredpadalecki i vote no only because i'd miss you too much and cry everyday in my trailer and refuse to come out until they promise that you never leave ever again...

valenciawalker jaredpadalecki ok, it's been decided, i'm gonna hold off on the record deal for a little longer <3 

jensenackles hmm can i vote both yes and no? 

liked by valenciawalker, jaredpadalecki, misha and 15,02k others

alexandercalvert go little rockstar <3 

view all 151k comments 

valenciawalker i really did feel like a little rockstar, not going to lie! 

jaredpadalecki such a rockstar! she did so well tonight!

jensenackles she is a rockstar! she made her big brother very proud tonight! 

valencia jensenackles awe, thank you brother jackles! i'm glad i made you proud 

misha one of the best little rockstars i've ever seen! 

"...ria, would you seriously take a break and do music on the side?" jensen questioned as i giggled 

i mean, considering we were in italy for our annual jib convention and just had the best reaction to me singing, i think that it was a sign. 

"i mean, considering what we heard tonight, i think it's something i would consider heavily as, like i mentioned in my post, i'm always singing on the set and, i think it is time i really give myself a chance," i shrugged my shoulders as jensen smiled brightly with a proud look on his face

"i agree. you deserve to have your amazing songs and voice be heard and loved by everyone in the world. i'd say you should for sure do it and go for it. just, like jared said, please don't leave supernatural permanently!" jensen whispered at the end as i giggled and shook my head

 "i will and, don't worry i'll never leave supernatural until we decide to finish the series all together," i smile as jensen cheers and moves around excitedly as i can't help my laughter

"yay, thank you!" jensen squeals as he pulls me in for a hug as i shake my head at his supposedly sober decisions 

"don't mention it, jackles," i sigh as he just laughs as we sit down on the couch as we watch alex and jared play fight on the other couch

- - - 

ok bye ily xx

wc; 1300

[teddy06writes]

I feel there isnt enough sapnap x karl x quackity x reader, so can I request sap x karl x quackity x y/n where everone js tired at the end of the day, and despite having separate rooms, they all collapse together in one person’s bed

sapnap x karl x quackity x reader (HOLY SHIT THE POLY SHIP REQUESTSSSSSSS)

Trigger warnings: swearing

premise: vidcon pannels and meeting fans can be tiering, and maybe by the time the day is done you and all of your crushes collapse into bed together without realizing until the next morning  ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

“Blep” talking

‘blep’ thinking

(y/n/n)- your nickname

(y/s/n)- your screen name

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah vidcon, a content creators dream, or worse nightmare, or in your opinion, wild trip that lasted three days.

~~

It was your first time seeing anyone from the Dream SMP in a while, and your were practically buzzing with excitement by the time you were getting off the plane in California.

You fiddled with your carry on as you made your way towards baggage claim, grinning upon hearing a yell of “Oh my god is that (Y/n) from the internet!?”

You turned to see Alex standing just outside the gate he’d landed at, quickly you ran to hug him, stomach filling with butterflies at his touch. “Wait it’s Alex from the internet!”

You both laughed as you pulled away, starting back to baggage claim, “Are you excited for vidcon?” He asked.

“Yeah, what I’m not excited for is having to share a house with you idiot for a weekend.”

He scoffed, “What do you mean? It’s gonna be fun!”

“Oh yeah, the entire SMP together in one house, is such a good idea. It’s gonna be chaos!”

“That’s the fun part!”

“I like to sleep at night without being interrupted by random screaming and stuff.”  You argued.

“I’m sure there won’t be random screaming.”

“You seriously underestimate Tommy.” By now you had made it to baggage claim and began to look around for the right carousel.

You split up, planning on meeting back by the door to wait outside for Bad, who had arrived the day before and was picking people up, a few at a time.

After waiting at one carousel for a few minutes your suitcase came rolling out, but as you went to grab it someone else grabbed it from behind you, a familiar voice drawling, “Hey, hey.”

Grinning you turned to see Nick smiling back at you, “Hey yourself.”

He hugged you, and again your stomach filled with butterflies.

Pull away you smiled, “Come on, I think I left Alex just over there.”

Grabbing your suitcase in one hand, and his hand in the other you tugged him off toward where you’d left Alex, calling, “Alex look who I found!” as soon as he was in view.

Nick dropped your hand to grab Alex’s to pull him into a hug, and you found yourself fighting a grin at how red Alex's face turned.

“Bad texted me that he’s almost here!” You announced after checking your phone.

“Who else is he picking up?” Nick asked.

“Uhhh,” You pulled the messages back up, “Karl and Fundy, and then Wilbur is supposed to be getting another rental car and driving the rest of the Europeans when they get here, minus George cause apparently he also flew out early.”

You all headed out towards the pick up area, weaving through the crowds of people you felt Nick grab the back of your shirt, and when you looked back at him in question he muttered, “So I don’t lose you Idiot.”

All you could do was hope your face was clear of any blush as you smiled back.

You all ended up stood near the curb when a voice cut through the chatter, “Hey gu-uys!”

“Karl!” The three of you exclaimed as he ran through the crowd towards you.

Upon reaching you he some how managed to get his arms around all of you enough for a group hug, and you laughed, “Shouldn’t you be at the other gate?”

“Yeah, but I thought I saw you guys so I came over here, and I was right!”

Alex cocked an eyebrow, “What if it wasn’t us?”

“uhhh, I dunno, awkwardly ran at random people?”

You all laughed, and Nick scoffed, “You’re ridiculous.”

After a few more minutes of waiting, a car slowed near the curb, Fundy’s head practically falling from passenger window, “I’m looking for some youtubers, dumb American ones, you seen any?”

Bad smacked him, “they aren’t dumb, hey guys!”

You waved at them as the guys started loading their suitcases into the back of the car, and after Karl insisted he take yours as well, you slid into the back seat, “What’s the house situation like?”

“It looks like just about everyone will get there own room,” Bad reported, “But Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo and Purpled are sharing the room with the bunk beds, because Clay designated it as the kids room.”

You snickered as Alex climbed into the back next to you, leaving Nick and Karl to take the spots in the middle row of the van.

“And obviously cause Kristen’s coming she and Phil are sharing, and then Eret said he, Puffy, and Niki would take the room with the double beds,” Fundy offered, “Which means the rest of us should get single rooms.”  

Alex elbowed you, “Told you wouldn’t get stuck with random screaming.” 

“Oh there's still time for that.”

~~

After getting to the airbnb and racing Fundy for one of the bigger rooms that was left (it was decided Phil and Kristen would get the master bedroom, and Clay had already claimed the biggest guest bedroom), you dropped your suitcase in one corner and brought your toiletries bag in the shared bathroom between your and Nick’s rooms, before flopping back onto your bed. 

No more than three minutes passed before Karl wandered into your room, flopping down next to you, “Ranboo and Sam are making nachos, and Dream and Nick found a foosball table in the garage, so a mini tournament is being organized if you want in.” 

“Foosball?” You questioned. 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be fun.” 

You allowed him to tug you up, and followed him down from the left hall of bedrooms, through the living room and to the connected garage where George was yelling over everyone to try and form teams. 

“Me and (Y/n) are a team!” Nick announced, grabbing your hand to pull you towards him. 

“Okay, that leaves Big Q and Karl as the last team for now! When other people show up they can join.” George announced. 

The rest of the day passed in a blur of foosball games, nacho’s nearly being spilled everywhere and the rest of the people arriving. 

~~

The next day was the first day of vidcon, and after getting dressed in some casual clothes you grabbed your laptop and headed out to the living room, mostly empty in the quiet house, with the exception of Tubbo, who was flipping through tv channels, and Phil, who was tinkering around in the kitchen. 

“So what’s your plan for the day?” Tubbo asked, finally having settled on a baking show. 

“Uhh, stress about the panel until it’s time for the panel, hang out, maybe find a pizza place, you?” 

“Me and Tommy are just gonna wander the convention center most of today cause I don’t have anything until the meet and greet tomorrow, then when he has to go I think me, Ranboo and Fundy might be going to mess with dream george and sapnap during the dream team panel. What’s you first panel about?” 

You glanced back down at your laptop, “It’s listed as ‘small creators with a big part’” 

From the kitchen you heard Phil chuckle.

“Oh cool.” Tubbo smiled, turning back to his show. 

You looked back down at your laptop, reading over the possible sample questions and discussion topics, you wanted to be mentally prepared for this.

At some point, as the rest of the house began to stir Alex shuffled out from the hallway and plopped down in between you and Tubbo on the couch, throwing his legs up in your lap.

“Good morning.”

He groaned, “Why is it so early?”

“It isn’t,” you laughed, flicking at his forehead, “Your just jet lagged.”

“Is there coffee here?”

As if on cue Nick, who had come over from the kitchen, offered him a mug, “Phil made a big ass pot of it.”

“Oh thank fuck!” He took the cup greatfully.

Nick smiled, handing you the other mug before going back for his own as Karl flounced into the room and plopped down on the other couch, “Good morning!” 

“Morning Karl!” You smiled. 

“oooo, are we watching cake wars?” He asked excitedly. 

Tubbo nodded and launched into an explanation of what had happened so far in the episode. 

Eventually everyone woke up and was gathered around in the living room and kitchen, drinking coffee and tea as they planned for the day. 

“Well if most of us have different things planned why don’t we just plan to meet back up here before dinner?” Niki suggested. 

A half asleep Wilbur nodded, “Sounds like a good idea.”

Techno snickered at his grogginess, elbowing him lightly, “I guess the first panel really will be sleepy boys inc.” 

If Wilbur had been fully awake he probably would’ve elbowed him back, but instead just muttered, “Shut up.” 

“Okay! So we meet back here for six yeah?” Bad asked. 

Everyone nodded, and disappeared back to their various places around the house to get ready. 

Back in your room you put your laptop away and got the last of your things ready for the panel, even though it wasn’t starting for a few hours.

“(Y/n)! Your panel’s at 12 right?” Nick half yelled through the open bathroom doors. 

“Yeah?”

“Okay cool, do you wanna come with me, Alex and Karl? Apparently Jimmy and all them just got in.” 

“Sure.”

You had talked to the famed, ‘Mr. Beast’, a few times, and had even been in one or two of his gaming videos, so before you knew it Alex was stealing the keys to one of the rental cars and you were off. 

“Yeah we just left the airbnb.” Karl, said into his phone. There was a pause before he said, “Oof, I’m glad I came out early then.” Another pause and then he laughed, “Nimrods. We can stop for food if you want?” 

A few minutes later he ended the call, leaning up between the front seats, “The gang requires food, we’re taking a pit stop to taco bell.” 

“Taco bell? At 9 in the morning?” Alex questioned. 

“Yeah apparently the nimrods forgot to get food before they left the airport, and now their stuck in traffic. We’re gonna meet them at the hotel.” 

You chuckled, “Sounds like a Jimmy move. Let me guess, they forgot because none of them slept and they took a red eye?” 

“What the fuck is a red eye?” 

You looked back at Nick, incredulous, “You don’t know what a red eye is? Oh my god you privileged fool!” 

Alex snorted, “It’s a really early flight Nick. Like, a you get to the airport for 11pm, and end up eating breakfast when you get to the other airport, flight.”

“Or, a get to the airport for anytime between 11pm and 4am and regret your life choices while waiting for your plane.” You offered. 

“In other words, hell.” Alex finished, pulling into a drive thru. 

“Yikes, why would anyone do that?” Nick asked. 

“It’s cheap.” Karl said. 

“Planes are less crowded, so are the airports.” Alex added. 

You smiled, “I do it for the feeling of a lineal space. There's no vibes like airports from 11pm to 4am.”

They all laughed, and Karl quickly unrolled his window to order an ungodly amount of food. 

~~

Unsurprisingly,  after that the day passed in a blur, the panel going pretty well, and then the impromptu meet and greet outside the meeting hall, trying to make it through the convention center with Clay and Nick without being mobbed, and then suddenly everyone was back at the airbnb getting ready for dinner. 

“(y/n) you bitch why are you taking so long in there!” Tommy yelled through the bathroom door. 

“I’m trying to fix my hair from when you threw water at me prick! There's five other bathrooms in this house go find another one!” You yelled back. 

Distantly you could hear Bad yell, “Language!” 

“Everyone is in the other bathrooms!” 

Giving up on your hair you set the brush back down and recapped the container of paste, turning and opening the door to your room, “Alright, fine.” 

“That wasn’t that hard was it?” Tommy asked, moving past you into the bathroom. 

“Don’t touch my stuff.” You instructed, striding out of the room and down the hall. 

Out in the living room Eret was humming as they cleaned up the last of the later Tommy had gotten everywhere as the rest of the group started to assemble. 

Once everyone was finally ready, and the final arguments of who would take which car, you were shoved into the back of one of the vans with Karl and Alex, making all of the anxiety that had dissipated after the panel came flooding back, especially when Nick, who was sitting on the bench seat in front of you, turned to join the conversation. 

The night was spent trying to keep blush off your face whenever Karl’s knuckles brushed yours, when Nick’s arm found it’s way around the back of your chair, or when your and Alex’s knees bumped. 

‘God’, you had thought, ‘this is like some romcom shit.’ 

After Tommy’s fail attempt to steal a set of car keys and try and drive home  -Phil smacked him upside the head, Niki snatched the keys from his hand, Kristen started to lecture him, all while the rest of you laughed your asses off- The bill was paid, and everyone piled back up into the cars, already starting to plan a movie night. 

Upon getting back to the airbnb, you headed back to your room to change back into the hoodie and comfortable pants you had been wearing earlier, heading back into the living room in time to steal Punz’s seat on the couch with Nick and Karl. 

When Alex squeezed into the spot between you and Nick, you could’ve sworn you saw Techno smirking and Puffy waggling her eyebrows toward you, how they found out about your stupid group crush you had no clue, but then Clay and Skeppy started to argue over what movie to put on. 

Tubbo ended up taking the remote from Clay, and from where he was sitting In front of one of the couches, tossed it over to Phil on the other side of the room, who said, “We’ll do a vote then!” 

A movie was selected democratically, some cheesy action movie began to play, and at some point you half turned, propping your legs up across the boys laps as Alex maintained a running commentary on the movie, just loud enough for you and Nick to hear, and Karl absently traced small shapes into your ankles. 

~~

The second day of vidcon was the most hectic, with you, Nick and Alex were going to watch the Mr. Beast panel Karl got to be a part of, plus both the dream smp panel and the meet and greet later in the day. 

You had woken up to Karl and Alex jumping on top of you, “Wake up! You’re gonna be late!” 

You groaned, struggling to shove them off, “What time is it?” 

“8:27.” Alex said, sliding off your bed. 

“Fuck,” You muttered, “Get off me, what the hell happened to my alarm?” 

“You left your phone in the other room, when it went off it woke us up.” Karl explained. 

“He means it woke him up and he felt the need to wake me up,” Alex complained as you sat up now free of the people laying on you, “Why the hell is your alarm set so early?” 

“It’s not early, I just wanted to be able to get ready without being in anyone’s way.” 

Karl nodded, “Makes sense.”

“C’mon, let’s give them time to get ready.” Alex grabbed Karl’s arm, half dragging him out of the room.

You quickly got ready, pulling on a nicer button down, plus a jacket that was one of the first from your new merch line.

You finished your hair, plugged in your phone and headed out to the kitchen where Fundy seemed to be attempting to make pancakes, dragging Karl into the process as well.

You sat down next to Alex and Ranboo, “How long do you think until they burn the house down?”

“I am not going to burn the house!” Fundy exclaimed.

You reached over and turned down the heat on the griddle, “Well you were gonna burn something.”

Ranboo snickered, “They aren’t wrong.”

“Shut up Ranboob!” Fundy retorted.

They continued to bicker as Tubbo emerged from up stairs, shoving Fundy out of the way to take over the griddle. “You’re all ridiculous.” He muttered.

“Yeah no shit.” You sighed.

“Language!” Bad yelled from the dining room.

“French!” Eret called back as she entered the kitchen, “Morning guys!”

“Morning!” Tuboo chirped, starting to flip some of the pancakes. 

“It’s panel day!” Tommy yelled, charging down the stairs, “Those best be chocolate chip Tubbo!” 

Karl held up the bag of chocolate chips he been scattering into some of the pancakes, and Tommy grinned, “Karl my man!” 

~~

Once breakfast was eaten and the dishes cleared everyone loaded back up into the cars to head to the convention center, everyone splitting up again, planning to meet back in the right area in time for the full panel. 

Karl headed off to meat with Jimmy and the guys as You Alex and Nick took spots in the audience. 

Once they took to the stage Nick leaned over and elbowed Alex, “Bet you 10 bucks when they open for questions you don’t go up just to flirt with Karl.” 

Alex glared at him, “10 bucks isn’t worth it.” 

You held back a laugh, “I’d throw in another 20.” 

Alex considered this with a sigh, “Deal, but only if we get milkshakes later.” 

You and Nick agreed, and soon enough when they opened up for audience questions Alex started to stand up, but immediately sat back down blushing slightly, “No.” 

“Damn.” Nick sighed. “We’re still getting milkshakes.” 

Once the Mr. Beast panel had ended you all went to meet up with Karl and head off to the dream smp panel. 

2 o'clock rolled around and the panel moderator began to announce everyone, one by one, and you managed to force down your anxiety, taking your place on the stage between Karl and Nick when the mod called, “(y/s/n), one of the first people to actually join the dream smp.” 

You sat down, smiling at the audience and quickly sneaking out your phone to take a quick video of your friends and then a pan of the crowd to put on twitter later.

Once everyone was on stage the moderator looked up and down the long table, “Wow, there are a lot of people on stage right now, is this everyone from the server?” 

Clay nodded, “Just about, we have a few others, Alyssa, Callahan, Ponk and Antfrost, who had other stuff going on, but for the most part, this is everyone from the server.” 

“This is honestly incredible, how, how are you guys all feeling about being here? I know this is the first Dream SMP panel, but you guys have been to vidcon before right?” 

“Most of us,” George laughed, “I think the only one who hasn’t is (y/s/n), there first ever panel was yesterday.” 

The mod looked over at you, “So, how does it feel to be at your first vidcon?” 

You laughed nervously, “Well, I mean, I’ve been to vid con before, but I was always out there in the audience, it’s- it’s pretty nerve wracking to be up here.” 

The topic shifted and after that things seemed to move more quickly. 

In the blink of an eye the first hour and a half was spent and people from the audience began to ask questions. 

“Wilbur, as the main writer for roleplaying on the server is it hard to keep track of character specifics and story arcs or is it all just written in with the scripts?”

Someone asked.Wilbur hummed, “Well I guess in part it’s written in the scripts, but I think I should turn this question over to (y/s/n), they’ll have a more interesting answer.”

Everyone turned to you. 

“Well, in my mind it isn’t all that hard, but I am literally the kid who memorized long monologues for fun.” You chuckled, “Once the first revolution arc started and the server really started to turn to roleplaying I started a google doc that now gets updated constantly. I have running tabs on current arcs, details on arcs that have ended and then there's detailed character descriptions. 

“I don’t necessarily write down bits to add while I’m streaming or anything, but most of the time it has to be the middle of the night or I won’t file anything correctly.”

Nick chuckled, “I have seen the document, it is terrifying.” 

“Didn’t someone open it to see you updating in the middle of the night once?” Ranboo asked. 

Alex nodded, “Yeah that was me, it was very traumatic, like, I blinked, and then there was another fifty words on the page.” 

You dropped your head in your hands, “It was the night after the whole election thing! Techno joined the server and then I had to add a whole ‘nother character profile, and he and his stupid English major were making things complicated!” 

“Listen man, I just wanted to make sure I had a backstory that fit into the story line, ‘s not my fault when Wilbur lets Dream have partial control of thing the storyline ends up non cohesive.” 

People laughed, and the topic was changed with the next question.

~~

Two and a half hours later, an extra hour after the panel was supposed to end, (there was just so many extra questions), you headed off stage, and were all rushed across the center for the meet and greet, which had been pushed back in time with the panel.

You felt bad for making the fans wait, but the organizers assured you that it was fine, most of the fans had been at the panel anyway.

In the big open hall the orginizors spilt everyone up into groups of threes and fours, the way fans could move down the line and see everyone.

Inevitably you ended up with Karl, Nick and Alex, at the end of the long sections of people.

“Holy shit man, how is it already 6?” Alex asked.

“Who knows.” Nick muttered glancing down at his phone.

“Dude this is supposed to go for like three hours too.” You complained, rocking up on your heals to look down the line, seeing the first groups of people starting to move past Tommy, Tubbo and Fundy.

“We’ll be fine! It’s always fun to meet fans!” Karl said, though he did look slightly wary.

After another three hours of talking to fans, signing things, and taking pictures the last group of people finally made it to your section.

“Hey! They saved the coolest for last!” The boy exclaimed.

“Hell yeah they did!” Alex half yelled back, some how still managing to keep up the enthusiasm.

“Here, let’s get you guys all in a picture together!” His mother said, motioning for you to all stand together. You slung an arm around the kids shoulder, smiling at the camera. “

“Okay serious question time, which one of us is the best?”

“Uhh,” the boy looked from person to person, “probably you (y/s/n), your contents really cool but your under rated.”

You grinned, offering him a fist bump, “ha! See that’s the third person in the last hour!”

Karl scoffed, “but I got like six people over all.”

“I only got five.” Alex pouted.

You rolled your eyes as the boy asked, “So if you guys are in a poly relationship on the server does it create problems with your friendship in real life?”

You all froze, except for Nick who somehow seemed to know this was coming, “Well, in game and out of game relationships are different, sure you can ship all you want, but that doesn’t mean stuff actually happens in real life.”

The kid nodded, “Cool, hey I saw your stream like, during quesrentine, just a question, how many people have tried to fight you today?”

You laughed, “at least 15 took pictures with him squared up.”

A few minutes more and the kid was gone, being ushered away by his mom, and you glanced at your phone, “holy shit it’s already 9:15.”

“Where did the time go?” Kale asked incredulous.

~~

After meeting back up with the rest of the group you all headed off to terrorize a McDonald’s, drawing a lot of attention from random fans as you all scarfed down food.

By the time you got back to the Airbnb it was nearly 11pm and everyone was exhausted.

After quickly getting ready for bed you a collapsed.

~~

The next morning you woke up, and for a moment worth your eyes still closed you were perfectly content with the warmth pressed agasint you.

Then you came fully too, realizing that, no, you weren’t fully swaddled in your comforter, you were laying in a bed with other people.

Opening your eyes you blinked away sleep, looking down, confused to see Alex asleep with his head on your chest.

Turning your head you saw that it was Nick on your other side an arm wrapped around you both.

Karl was half sprawled across all of you, similarly to the airport, as if he could hold all of you at once. You sat in shock for several moments before realizing you were in fact, trapped in bed.

Alex’s fingers were tangled with yours, Nicks nose was pressed into your neck, and you could have sworn Karl shifted in his sleep, as if to get closer to you.

‘Well,’ you thought, ‘might as well make the most of it.’ As settled back down to fall back asleep.

~~

Once you had all woke again, no one spoke as they headed back to there own rooms, and your crossed back through the bathroom form Nicks.

~~

The rest of the day past, still no one speaking about it, and that night you found yourself laying in your own bed, wondering why it felt so wrong.

There was muffled whispers from Nicks room, and you quietly got up, moving into the bathroom to hear better.

Unfortunately for you Nicks door to the bathroom was still open, so you couldn’t eavesdrop as planned.

Karl and Alex were both sat on the bed next to each other as Nick paced. “What’s going on?” You asked quietly

“Would- would it be weird if we cuddled again?” Alex asked hesitantly.

“We were debating asking you.” Karl admitted.

Nick nodded, “You don’t have to, it’s just- we-“

Quietly you crossed the room, climbing into the bed instead of answering the question outright.

~~

“Is- I- am I stupid, or is this something?” Alex whispered.

Vidcon had ended and even with the long weekend everyone was staying in California the time had gone all to fast.

You, Alex, Karl and Nick had continued to cuddle every night, still not talking about it during the day.

“Do you think it could be?” Was your only response, continuing to card your fingers through Karl’s hair.

“It seems like it already is.” Nick said.

Karl yawned, “I think I’d like it to be.You nodded,

“me too.”

“Me too.” Nick agreed.

Alex smiled, “I guess it’s decided then.”

The dark room was quiet another moment before you snickered, “It’s cannon irl now guys. What will the fans think?”

[smol-and-grumpy]

Confidentiality - Chapter 2: The Meeting

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: Four months. Four long months that she’s been hiding in lockdown. So when everything starts to go back to normal again, she’s going back to work as Jensen’s handler for the first Supernatural convention after the pandemic.

Chapter Warnings: A little jealous Jensen, flangst when you squint

WC: 1644

Beta’d by: @dean-winchesters-bacon​​​​ <3

THIS SERIES IS COMPLETE ON PATREON

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

On Saturday, Y/N’s waiting at the arrivals with the driver. It’s not usually their job to pick up talents from the airport but during dinner last night her boss received a call and disappeared for a few minutes. 

It was only this morning that she received a message from her boss that she should please go with the driver to pick up Jensen at the airport. 

She has a strong feeling that Jensen’s had something to do with it but her messages and calls that she made to him today went unanswered. 

He knows exactly why he didn’t pick up the phone and it drives her fucking nuts!

Standing there, with her arms crossed over her chest, she chews on her gum irritatedly. 

It’s about five minutes of waiting in awkward silence until Jensen walks out, rolling his little suitcase behind him. Wearing simple jeans and a hoodie, he hides his hair behind a baseball cap but she can see that he hadn’t cut it, nor had he shaved his beard. She’d like to think it’s because she said that she shouldn’t get rid of it just yet. Her heart does that weird little thing, tripping and all, but she’s keeping her emotions in check. She’s still annoyed and she should remember that. 

“Hey!” He greets both of them with the brightest smile.

If he noticed that she’s annoyed, he did his best to ignore it because he smiles down at her, “Y/N, nice seeing you again,” and pulls her into a friendly hug. He smells so good, it’s not fair to her because she’s upset at him and should not let him entice her.

Jensen moves away from her but lets his hand linger at her lower back for a fraction too long before greeting the driver. It’s invisible for the outside eyes but she knows.

The driver leads the way to the limousine and the two of them trail behind. 

“You did this, didn’t you?” she mumbles.

“Did what?” he too, keeps his voice low.

“Made me come pick you up.”

“Is that a crime?” he asks while he cocks an eyebrow.

“No, but it’s not my job! Don’t you think it’ll raise suspicion?”

“Relax, babe, nothing’s going to happen this weekend, okay? I can be professional, can you?” 

They stop at the limousine as the driver loads Jensen’s suitcase into the trunk and walks to the front to start the motor.

Jensen bends down then when there are no eyes on them, kisses her quick but rough, teeth biting into her bottom lip, making her squeal out in delight. Before she can even get worried that she’s being too loud, he is kissing her again, swallowing the sounds she makes. 

When he parts, he smiles down at her, it’s super cocky, “Can you, huh?”

“Is that a challenge?” she asks, not quite trusting him.

“It can be,” he shrugs.

“No funny business while we work together, Jensen.”

“None.”

“I think I’ll win,” she grins.

“Oh, we’ll see,” he pecks her lips once more before walking to the front, “Come on, it’s not nice to let the driver wait.”

*

They drop him off at the hotel and Jensen’s really surprised that she said that she’s not going to stay. She’s booked into another hotel, closer to the convention center.

“Why?” he asks as she walks to the reception with him. 

“I’m working, Jensen, being professional, remember?” 

There’s a sigh with an eyeroll and she chuckles.

They checked him in and she walks him to the elevator while she tells him about his schedule for tomorrow, “The driver will pick you and Jared up at 8 AM, be ready, okay?”

“What’s the first thing?”

“Your gold panel, as usual,” she says with a shrug, “Any other questions?”

“Yeah,” he says and bends down, nose brushing against the shell of her ear, “What should I do with my hard cock?”

She grins as he stands up again, and he presses his lips into a thin line, smirking a little. Still grinning, she stands up on her tiptoes to whisper into his ear, “You have a hand and I’m sure the hotel provides those tiny fancy moisturizers.”

Standing back on her heels, she looks up at him and winks while he frowns.

“Good night, Jensen,”  Y/N turns around to leave and waves at him one last time, sees him shaking his head and chuckling to himself.

*

Back in her hotel, she makes herself bed ready, and has taken a rain check on the team’s night out because she hates to be hungover the next morning when she has to work. The farewell drinks set for Sunday Night, she can do and will do.

Once settled in bed, there’s already a text on her phone. 

 J: Going out with Jared, maybe I’ll find another girl to help me out with the hard thing in my pants

Y/N: Good luck, don’t drink too much.

J: There’s no one stopping me? And no comment on the girl?

Y/N: You’re working from 8 AM - 9 PM, that should be enough reason. And it’s not like we’re exclusive. You’re allowed to do whatever you want. And who knows, maybe I have someone in my bed right now?

 That’s true. They’re not anything, to be honest. Just two people who enjoy each other’s company. She never went into this wanting more, because she knows that it is probably not going to happen, so she’s trying not to let her feelings interfere with what they have. Even though living with Jensen was hard for her feelings. She got to know him better, got to know his little quirks. Even though they annoy her sometimes, she thinks that she would be able to make it work because she’s able to look past them, work her way around things that exasperate her the most about him. In any case, it’s totally unfair that there isn’t really much to be bothered about. She bets she has more things that annoy him but he doesn’t seem to mind them either.

 J: Do you?

Y/N: Good night, Jensen.

J: Do I have to come over?

Y/N: No, go out with Jared.

J: I can’t if I don’t know who’s with you.

 Her heart’s picking up speed. Jensen’s jealous. That’s a first. Well, he never had to worry about it since he was the only man around her for four fucking months! She kind of likes it, can’t lie about that.

 Y/N: Listen, I’m going to set my phone aside. Good night.

 Y/N hates hotel beds, it’s really not the same like sleeping at home and she tosses and turns. It was the same last night, too. But maybe, she thinks, maybe it’s because she’s alone. She was holed up with Jensen for almost four months, shared a bed with him, with his warm body next to hers. Maybe she just misses the closeness. She wonders how it’ll be once they go back to normal, wonders how her nights will turn out once she gets back to her own apartment, and sleeps in her own bed. Alone. Because that’s what’s going to happen eventually. As she said, they aren’t anything and they won’t be.

Finally, after about twenty minutes of tossing and turning, she eventually finds a comfortable position to be in and is slowly drifting off to sleep when there’s a sharp knock at her door. 

Her head shoots up and she frowns, “Who is it?”

“Room service!” the man on the other side calls out.

It’s ridiculous really, to be yelling room service when she knows exactly who it is. She’d recognize the voice anywhere. 

She gets up and walks over to the door, opens it up with annoyance, but only enough to let her head peek through, “You should not be here.”

Jensen’s eyes widen, “Wow, I’m happy to see you too.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “Go, I want to sleep.”

“I just want to say good night.”

“Sure,” she chuckles, “You wanted to check if I’m spending a night with some other dude.”

“No?” He frowns and she looks at him with that cocked eyebrow. Looks at him so long until he caves, “Fine! Yeah, I wanted to see.”

“There’s nobody here.” she whispers, because she remembered that they have to be quiet.

“Yeah, no, open the door,” Jensen asks firmly. That’s one of his little quirks, he’s thorough. 

Reluctantly, she opens the door wider and her bed comes into view, “Are you happy now?” 

He takes a step in further, walks to the bathroom, and she has to roll her eyes so hard, her head hurts.

“Do you really think I’m hiding someone in my bathroom?” she hisses out from the doorway. 

Jensen comes out, and walks back to the door, “I like to be thorough,” he shrugs, as if that explains it all. His hand comes up to brush the knuckles against her face, fingertips trailing along her throat down to the collar of her shirt, “That’s my shirt,” he chuckles and hooks one finger into the collar, tugging it, “I was wondering where it went.”

“Yeah, it somehow landed in my suitcase,” she says, hoping that he doesn’t see the color rising up to her cheeks. It’s not even a lie, she slept in it the night before she left, so she just kind of packed it without even thinking.

“Good night, Y/N,” Jensen bends down, kisses her cheek, his beard prickles against her skin.

And it’s crazy how a cheek kiss can affect her. She’s getting all warm and fuzzy. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she swallows hard as he parts, and it takes everything in her not to fling herself at him. 

Jensen nods before he walks along the corridor to the elevator, winks at her one last time.

Chapter 3

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr-Girl (Part 14)

Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: you passed out, what now? Word Count: again ~2400 Warnings: panic attacks (!), angst, depression, mental illness and self doubt

Notes: YASS, a new chapter! I’ll love you for your feedback!

Part 1 Masterlist  

Mishas PoV

Instead of waiting for the paramedics to come into the fully crowded room, I picked the girl from the floor and carried her outside, the girl who shouted for a doctor went with us. Jensen and Jared tried to clear the way and also to keep the people calm. I heard Jared talking loudly to the fans, so everybody could hear him “Please stay in there, guys. Rob and Rich are continuing their panel. Please give her some space and some respect. Please stay back. We got this.” While he was stopping the people from following us outside Rob and Rich started to do the same on the stage, they told everyone to stay calm and did their best to keep them entertained. At first some people looked disappointed, but soon they calmed down and as the doors were closed after us I could concentrate on the girl in front of me. I put her down on the floor and realized that she was breathing very quickly and her heart was pounding wildly. “I- I guess there were too many people.” Her friend, who followed us outside said. 

“What’s her name?” I asked and she told me that the girl was called Y/N. I jumped for a moment, but then I thought about it, it had to be a huge coincidence if it was THE Y/N. No, that couldn’t be her. I took of my jacket and put it under her head. “The paramedics have to be here soon. She will be okay”, I tried a smile “What about you? What’s your name?” the girl couldn’t look away from the girl lying on the floor. “I’m Beck.” She answered slowly. “And I think it’s my fault that she passed out. I told her to come to this panel. I didn’t know you were here. I thought there would be less people. I knew she was overwhelmed with the situation.” She started to talk without pausing. She just stared at the girl on the floor.

I stood up and went up to her “Look at me, Beck. It’s not your fault. Y/N will be good.” As I said that the paramedics turned up, they checked Y/Ns body functions and reflexes and then said “Looks like a heavy panic attack. We’ll take her to the hospital, but she should wake up soon and normally she should be able to leave the hospital by tomorrow. “ I nodded. The paramedics put Y/N on a stretcher and brought her outside. “C-can I come with her?” Beck asked “I think I’m the only one she knows at the con…” one of the paramedics looked at her for a few seconds and then agreed “It will be good for her to know somebody, when she wakes up” he said and Beck ran after them, after a few meters she turned to me and smiled “Thanks so much for helping.” Then she ran off to the car.

I looked at her until the ambulance left the convention center, then I turned back to Jensen who stood next to the door and talked to a security guard. “She’ll be good.” I said as he looked at me questioning. “Panic attack, probably because of the loads of people.” Jensen nodded and patted my shoulder. “We should tell Rob, Rich and Matt that she will be good. But I guess it’s better to go backstage to avoid the attention.” I said nothing, but I knew he was right and so we went backstage and waited until one of the guys saw us, it just took a few moments until Rich went up to us “Is she alright?” he asked and Jensen told him a short version of what happened. Rich nodded. “Ok.. good. Thanks for helping her out guys.” He said and shot us a smile then he went back on stage. He whispered something to Rob and Matt and as they nodded they kept taking questions and entertaining the people. Jensen started to walk away “I guess we should get some rest. They will finish without us. You coming?” I stared at the stage; she had to sit down there, somewhere in the crowd. But Jensen was right, there was nothing to do for us at the moment. We had to wait and hope  that everything was working out. So I joined Jensen. He shot a short message to Jared, who was still at the stage with the other guys, and told him that we were leaving.

We didn’t talk the whole way up. When we got to our rooms Jensen looked at me “I think I’ll order some room service. I’m not in the mood to go out tonight. You wanna join?” I smiled “Yeah. I thought about that as well. I’m just putting my jacket and everything in my room, I’ll be here in a minute.” While I walked up to my own room I checked my phone. More specifically I checked my tumblr-account. I wanted to know if Y/N was here and as soon as I opened the app I saw the notification sign. My heart rate increased.

“WOW. I’m here. I mean, at this very moment I am at the hotel, because there are really a LOT of people.”

I smiled, she was here, I would really meet her this weekend. I kept reading the text, she said something about her plans for the weekend, that was good, so I could check if everything was going like planned.  

“Nevertheless, I was there for a few hours and I’m looking forward to the R2M panel today. To be honest I had to pick a few things, I don’t think I will be able to attend the whole convention, it’s too loud and too busy there. But I guess, if I choose the right things I can do that! J […]”

I stopped. It sounded like she wanted to pick events, with less people. No. My panel was one of the best visited of the con, that couldn’t happen. She had to be at your panel. She said something about the R2M panel today, but she didn’t mention my panel at all. Would the whole plan go wrong? I put the phone away without reading the whole text. No that wasn’t possible, I planned everything, it had to work out.It couldn’t just go wrong. No. I left the phone in my room and went to Jensen to order some food. I will find a solution for this problem. But I have to get myself distracted, just for a moment.

Your PoV

You woke up slowly, there was a terrible pain in your ankle and you had a dull headache. You tried to open your eyes, but everything was dazzlingly bright. Something was pressed at your face and you felt panic creep up inside you. You tried to push this thing from your face but your arms were quite heavy. Suddenly somebody reached out for your hand. “Y/N… It’s okay. You will be fine. Shhhh.. You have to stay calm. I’m here. You remember me? I’m Beck. Shhh..” a voice said. You tried to locate where the voice came from and recognized a girl who was smiling at you. She held your hand and you just looked at her as you saw something move on the other side of your body. Instantly you began to cry and scream hysterically, you broke away and lashed out. You ripped the thing off your face and wanted to get up but you realized that your legs and your body were fixed. “NOO! LET ME GO!” you yelled at the girl and you tried to free yourself from the straps that were fixing you but in the next moment a man gripped you at your wrists and tried to steady you “shhhh.. Y/N, you are safe. Just a few more minutes, we’ll be there soon. No one is going to hurt you.” You looked at him but you didn’t stop panicking. You felt tears well up in your eyes and slowly your sight blurred, but you couldn’t calm down. A few seconds later you felt a cold pain at your left arm. You cried but slowly you started to black out again, the last thing you realized was this thing that was pressed against your face again and in the background you heard someone sobbing.

When you woke up again you laid in a bed, your ankle still hurt. Your throat was dry and you heard a familiar beeping-sound. You instantly know where you were – hospital. You remembered your last stay, when you met Jacob, and you smiled. So much has happened since then. Slowly you tried to open your eyes, you were prepared for the bright and medical atmosphere. There was a needle in your armpit, you groaned. You saw some bruises at your wrists and arms and also some marks where you were fixed on the stretcher. “Ouch.” You whispered to yourself. Everything hurts, your head, your arms, your ankle.

“You are awake!” somebody said sounding tired, “I waited here, I thought that nobody wants to be in hospital alone” she continued. You said nothing, but you nodded. “You will be okay. The doctor said your ankle isn’t broken, but you ruptured your ligaments when you fell on the floor in the convention center. You’ll need a splint for a few weeks and for the first week some crutches.” She told you and you nodded again. “Thank you, Beck. For staying here with me, but you don’t have to do this. You will miss the whole convention.” You felt guilty and you couldn’t look at Beck. “I’m sorry for being a burden to you. I’ll be alright, you can go back to the con.” You told her and again tears welled up in your eyes, but then you felt someone reaching out for your hand. “This fandom is not just fandom Y/N, we are family.” She smiled. “So I will stay here as long as you need me. You know who carried you out of the convention room – it was Misha Collins himself. Because we are family, Y/N. We all are a very crazy kind of family. We care for each other and we have each other’s back.” She gave your hand a squeeze and you didn’t know what to respond. You never had this kind of family. A tear rolled down your cheek. “Thank you.” You whispered. Beck told you more about what happened, and you couldn’t believe it. It was surreal to you that someone would care for you like they all did. Some time later you saw that your phone laid on your nightstand and you quickly checked the time. It was late, it was dark outside and in the next moment I nurse came in and checked your data and your levels. “Good, I think you have to stay tonight for observation, if your levels stay this good you can leave soon, maybe tomorrow or on Sunday.” She said. Then she looked at Beck “She is doing good, I’m looking after her, you can go home for the night and get here again tomorrow. Visiting hours are over.” She stared at her, then at you and then she agreed. “Good. Y/N, I’ll get here tomorrow morning to check on you.” She again gave your hand a squeeze. “Sleep well! See you tomorrow. And thanks again, Beck!” you answered and returned her squeeze.

When she and the nurse left your room you took your mobile phone and checked your e-mails. There was a new text message from Jacob, he asked how your first convention day was. You thought about how to tell him everything, but you didn’t want him to freak out and never allow you to go anywhere alone again, so you just wrote “It was nice. I met some really nice people. Looking forward to tomorrow. Have a good night! <3” After that you checked your tumblr. You were a bit disappointed when you saw that Dmitri hasn’t replied since your last text, but on the other hand you couldn’t expect him to be online the whole day. You opened a new message and started to write:

“Dmitri!

There was a lot of chaos today. I don’t know where to start. It was crazy. I think I’ll never forget my first convention-day, even if I don’t remember an important part of it. J You have to know I’m quite anxious about big groups of people, as I told you earlier today, so I decided to see the R2M panel with this girl I met, Beck. But somehow Jensen, Jared an Misha crashed the panel and after a short time the room was completely full with people, because normally they aren’t showing up on Friday. So there were a lot of people and I couldn’t breathe anymore it was just too much, too overwhelming. Do you know how this feels? I hope you don’t. I guess I just panicked and passed out. Beck said that I fell like a sack of potatoes. And guess what happened. To be honest I can’t remember that, but Beck told me, so I guess it’s true. When Beck shouted into the room for help, nobody less than Misha, Jensen and Jared jumped off the stage and tried to help me. Misha even picked me up and carried me outside. He cared for me while the others tried to keep the crowd calm and entertained. I would love to meet them in person and say thanks to them. But even if I could get out of hospital until Sunday, there won’t be a chance for me to speak to them. I still can’t believe that these people care about me. I thought I was just another fan, I… I don’t know what to say. It's crazy.

Dmitri, probably you aren’t interested in all these stories. I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell it to somebody. I don’t know, sorry for the unnecessary talking. Tell me something about your weekend, how are you? What are you doing?

I’m looking forward to your message!

Love, Y/N”

You read about the text before you sent it and you had to smile. It really was a crazy, crazy day. You couldn’t believe it yourself. After you sent the message you put your phone away and tried to sleep.

Part 15

@chantelle-c333​ @awolfamongstus​ @jannalionheart  @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @evyiione​ @destielschild​ @xx-melissa-x @kcam1621​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @kristendanwayne​  @haappy-go-lucky @laffytaffyhumor​ @thebookisbtr​@michell868​ @duubaduu​ @darthcastiel​ @theoneandonlysuccubus​ @internationalmusicteacher​ @gracejo2 @nanie5​  @goobykeding @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @irene-frazer​ @thealienplace @hey-an-original-url @youknowitsmj @anspgene @sarahbaker2010 @mimzy1994 @shore-line-jewels187

[writethelifeyouwant]

You Got Iced- Chapter 2

Pairing: Jared x Reader x Jensen

Rating: T, for language (future chapters will be explicit)

Summary: Inspired in part by the challenge prompt and in part by this conventionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAHS_RJ5Gac (which is fucking hilarious, go enjoy yourselves there). The reader is attending a Supernatural convention during a heat wave and gets her money’s worth out of her ticket that’s for sure.

Word Count: 3773

Warnings: None for this chapter

A/N: Written for @babypieandwhiskey ‘s Hot as Hell challenge. If anyone else wants to be tagged in the rest of the chapters shoot me an ask! I’ll be posting them over the next couple weeks as I finish them. I’m in the process of moving to a different country so it’s taking me a little longer to write than I’d hoped :) 

Smirnoff Ice finally consumed, Jared and Jensen each reached out a hand to pull you up from your knees. Jensen’s eyes were almost glowing with a kind of subdued excitement that you couldn’t conceive of a reason for. He clapped your shoulder in a ‘job well done’ fashion and then exchanged a glance with Jared while you were straightening your clothes and weren’t looking at them. Jared had the same excitement burning behind his eyes, and gave Jensen a firm nod. 

“What do you say we get you a real drink to wash that crap down?” Jensen asked firmly, like it was more of an instruction than an offer. 

“What?” You spluttered, not understanding what on earth was going on. You looked between him and Jared, hoping one of them would offer up some kind of explanation. Neither did.

“Yeah,” Jared cut in, “we have a cooler of stuff in the green room back there. Come sit down for a bit.” Jared hovered his arm behind your back, as if to wrap it around your waist, but he didn’t touch. In an almost dream-like state you let them guide you towards the direction of their green room, calling a hurried goodbye and thank-you to Rob, Rich, and the band who were being left behind you. 

Upon reaching the green room, which was just a small conference room with two couches in one corner, and a cooler set up on a meeting table, surrounded by other snacks, Jensen bounded to the cooler while Jared continued to guide you to a seat in the corner of the couch. 

“What do you want to drink Y/N?” Jensen called over his shoulder. “We’ve got beer, there’s some wine in a can… I think this is whiskey…” he rifled through the assortment of bottles crammed together. 

“Um, I’m not picky, whatever you guys are having is fine,” your voice almost came out as a squeak because Jared had just lounged himself next to you, taking up the remainder of the couch with his giant giraffe legs. And those giant giraffe legs were now centimeters from your own bare legs, that you had tucked up underneath you in your little corner of the couch. 

“And if he gives you a beer, you won’t make a face?” Jared poked at you with his knee. 

“I resent that implication,” you looked faux-shocked for a moment, making your eyes round and wide, but breaking into a quick smile that crinkled your whole face up like tissue paper. Jensen handed you and Jared each a bottle and thunked himself in the corner of the next couch, the arm he set on the endrest brushing dangerously close to yours. “So, I have to ask, are you in the habit of bringing random strangers back to have a drink with?” 

“We do every now and then,” Jared nodded sagely, as if this was a perfectly understandable and reasonable occurrence, and not your wildest dream come true. 

“Not to sound ungrateful but, why?” You pushed, taking a sip of your beer to cover up your embarrassment. 

“Your question,” Jensen grinned. “I know it wasn’t anything profound but we’ve been doing these things for more than a decade and no one has ever asked us that one before.” 

“We thought the ingenuity should be congratulated,” Jared chimed in. 

“Oh,” you let that bit of information sink in. “Cool.” You took another drink to give your face something to do other than blush with anxiety. 

“Are you a little nervous?” Jared asked kindly, no trace of his earlier teasing left. You nodded, blushing deeper. 

“Don’t be,” Jensen reached forward and patted your forearm bracingly. “Have some more beer, let yourself relax.” You quickly followed his instruction, grateful for the excuse to ingest the liquid courage much more quickly than you had been. Jensen smiled at you, satisfied with your response. 

“So, Y/N, have you come to any conventions before?” Jared asked, drawing your attention back to him. You shook your head. 

“No, this was my first one. I had to live vicariously through the internet, before.” A nervous laugh escaped you as you realised what a fangirl you sounded like. Jared seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. 

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed about watching cons on youtube. You love the show, that’s why you’re here.” Jared’s smile was reassuring and sweet. “We’re fans of the show too, that’s why we do all this stuff. We like being able to share this with people, we like seeing people excited.” 

“It’s incredibly vain really, but someone has to feed his ego. My love isn’t enough anymore,” Jensen mocked, feigning hurt. 

“Hey!” Jared gasped. You and Jensen laughed and you followed his example, taking a further draught from your bottle. 

“Were you planning on going to the concert tonight?” Jensen asked. 

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, much more comfortable discussing your love of music than your love of the two men sitting next to you right now. “I’m probably just as excited for tonight as I was for your panel.” 

“Yeah they put on a good show,” Jensen agreed. “I think Jason’s coming tonight too actually, he texted me earlier he thinks he’ll make it in time.” 

“Sweet, he owes me twenty bucks,” Jared made a small victory fist. The conversation moved around that night’s show, and music more generally, while the three of you made it through your first bottles. Favourite songs were listed, first concerts were recounted, funny memories regaled with smiles. By the end of your bottle you felt more at ease with yourself, letting your body unfold from the slightly defensive position you had been perched in, in the corner of your couch. 

Jared moved to get the next round, dragging a chair behind him on his way back, holding all three beers in his other mammoth hand. You grabbed the bottle he offered you, and your fingers brushed his when he passed it over, sending a burn through your skin that was made all the more jarring by the cold condensation running over the back of your hand. You blushed and glanced down quickly, but then realised how incriminating that looked, and so shifted your eyes back to Jared, pretending there was no reason for you to have broken eye contact. You noticed that Jared’s eyes flicked down to his fingers, and then to yours, for just a moment, before he shook the expression of contemplation from his face so quickly you thought you might have invented it. 

“Is there any particular reason you sit like that?” You had asked the question before you gave yourself a chance to check if you would sound stupid or not, nodding to how Jared had sat with his chair facing backwards, like he had earlier on stage. 

“No,” Jared shook his head, not giving any indication that he thought you were weird or stupid for asking, and you relaxed again. “I used to get in trouble for sitting like this in school, so I think I do it a load now because no one can tell me not to,” he laughed. 

“I just noticed Sam sits that way a lot,” you explained. “I guess I wondered if it was something you did because of Sam of if it was the other way around.” 

“Yeah, no that’s me,” Jared laughed. “We definitely bleed into Sam and Dean more than we realise sometimes. I never even noticed that one before.” 

“Just don’t start overthinking it every time Sam sits down from now on,” Jensen laughed. 

“I won’t be thinking any harder than you. You still have to concentrate on not sitting on Misha’s lap every take.” You actually choked on your drink a little. Jensen leaned forward and thumped you on the back. 

“Jesus Jared, don’t kill her.” You gave Jensen a small thumbs up to indicate you were fine while you continued trying to catch your breath. “He was joking, by the way,” Jensen looked at you seriously, urging you not to misinterpret the situation. “Misha sits on my lap.” 

You narrowly avoided choking on your drink a second time as you burst out laughing. “I am genuinely amazed people get any work done around you two.” 

“Us too, believe me,” Jensen laughed easily. 

“What do you do for work, Y/N?” Jared asked with genuine curiosity, taking another swig of beer. 

“Oh, I don’t right now, I’m in college. That’s why I could come to the convention at all, you guys never came near my hometown, but my college was actually close enough to manage it.” 

“What’s your major?” Jared pressed for more information. You couldn’t fathom the attentive interest shining from his face. 

“I, haven’t actually declared one yet,” you admitted. “I’m chronically indecisive.” 

“Yeah you really must be if you still don’t have a major this late in the game. I didn’t think they let you past junior year without picking one,” Jared bemused. 

“Dude,” Jensen looked at Jared in something between exasperation and abject horror, “I think she might not be as old as we thought she was.” Jensen dragged his beer free hand across his face, pushing his fingers into his eye sockets in a pretty good imitation of Dean’s ‘frustration and despair’ face.  

“Um, I’m a sophomore…” you interjected sheepishly, ashamed that you had been found out. You had admonished yourself in the back of your mind when you had first been tossed the Smirnoff Ice. It was stupid to drink illegally in front of a load of celebrities. Not that you hadn’t drunk plenty before but it was just usually at parties filled with loads of other underage students. Here, you were alone. 

“You’re a sophomore?” Jared asked slowly, cautiously. You nodded, grimacing at your own idiocy. “Which means you’re only…” Jared left his question hanging. 

“Nineteen,” you admitted, curling back into yourself, getting ready for the outburst that must be close to the surface. 

“Jesus Christ,” Jensen’s voice sounded like a hiss, but it was underpinned by something deep, something hungry. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, mortified. The bottle in your hand suddenly felt like it weighed as much as your school bookbag, and you hurriedly looked for a place to set it, settling on the floor. “I should probably go…” You scrambled off the couch, tears blooming behind your lashes as you looked around for your bag and avoided looking anywhere near Jared or Jensen. 

“Sit your ass back down,” Jensen barked without looking up from the hand still plastered over his face. Stunned, you sat back down immediately, now risking a glance at Jensen. 

“You’re not in trouble,” Jared piped up, drawing your gaze. 

“Yeah but we so are,” Jensen groaned, finally pulling his head away from his hand to look at Jared with eyes that seemed to convey a message only Jared was meant to understand. 

“Yeah, no kidding,” Jared agreed, downing the rest of his drink and swinging off his chair to grab another. Jensen followed suit and drained the last of his beer, accepting a new drink from Jared, a glass of whiskey this time. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said again, forcing the words past the catch in your throat. “This was really stupid of me, I should have said something when you offered me a drink-” Your apology rant was interupted by Jared’s bark of laughter as he sat himself back on the couch next to you, considerably closer than he had been previously. 

“Y/N, we’re not mad at you,” Jared leant forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs, and swirling his drink thoughtfully. “And we’re not worried about giving drinks to someone underage.” That bit of information shocked you out of your panic a little bit. You had figured that was the reason your age had disconcerted them, why else would it? 

“You’re not concerned that I essentially just tricked you both into breaking the law?”

“Y/N, come on,” Jensen scoffed, but good naturedly. “How many times do you think we got wasted before we were 21? It’s what kids do.” He gave you a half smile that only barely covered the grimace in his eyes.

“Well, I’m still sorry I lied,” you said. “I never wanted to get you in trouble.” 

“The beer is not what’s gonna get us into trouble,” Jensen’s smile fought harder this time, and you could see it beat out whatever it was inside him that was making him so uncomfortable. This was the sign Jared had been waiting for, his permission from Jensen to keep going with what they had planned before your age had derailed them a moment. “It’s more the fact that we’re really feeling like old pervs right now.” A twinkle of mischief made its way back to his eyes as he gave Jared a wry smile. 

“Why…” You were entirely confused by Jensen’s comment. No matter how hard your brain tried it could not identify the connection between your previous conversation and why Jensen was now calling himself and Jared ‘old pervs’. Or why he was calling himself that at all. 

“Y/N,” Jared said your name cautiously, savouring its syllables on his tongue as he slowly reached a hand over to your knee. “We didn’t just bring you back here because of your question.”

Jared’s fingers might as well have had live wires hooked up to them considering how far the shock radiated through your body when he touched you. They drew your eyes like magnets, and it took immense effort to look back up at Jared and over to Jensen, who had moved as close to you as his couch would allow him. Jensen reached forward and took your hand, squeezing it comfortingly in his bigger one. 

“I’m going to say this very seriously right now, I need you to believe us one hundred percent,” Jensen looked earnestly between you and Jared. “If you don’t want this, that is okay. We are not expecting anything from you, you do not have to do anything, you are more than free to tell us to shove it up our asses and leave you the hell alone.” 

You still had not said a word, frozen in astonishment between Jared and Jensen, who each had a hand on you. That was probably the only reason you hadn’t jumped up from your spot on the couch by now. Grasping for words you settled on Jensen, breathing deeply before you plunged into the deep pool they were pulling you into. 

“Okay, I’m gonna need you to be incredibly clear about what you’re talking about, and then I’m gonna search this room for hidden cameras and the signal for Rich and Rob burst in with the ‘gotcha’ crew.” Jared and Jensen laughed brightly, and Jared patted your knee reassuringly.

“We’re not pranking you, sweetheart.” Jensen’s voice had dropped closer to Dean’s, found some gravel in his throat to drag over. 

“What we’re asking, is if you’d be interested in having a little more fun with us... somewhere a little more private.”Jared’s mouth curled into a wicked smile, and he pulled your arm towards him, pressing a kiss to the inside of your wrist, and pressing his glass of whiskey into your hand. You looked down at your hand questioningly. “You look like you could use that,” Jared nodded to the whiskey. You swallowed hard, then raised the glass to your lips and drained it in three burning gulps. 

“Good girl,” Jared whispered under his breath, more to himself than to anyone else in the room, focusing on the movement of your throat as you downed the liquor. You heard him though. 

Your eyes flicked to his, wide and nervous, but also incredibly turned on. You shook your head to clear it from the warm haze the whiskey had settled in your cheeks to speak the other big concern on your mind. 

“You’re married,” you stated emphatically. “You’re both married. You talk about how much you love your families all the time! I can’t- I couldn’t…” 

“Yes!” Jensen did a small fist bump with his whispered acclamation. 

“What?” You were so beyond confused at this point it was ridiculous. 

“That was the last test,” Jensen admitted. “If you didn’t say anything about being concerned for our moral and our families we’d have to back out.” 

“That one is Gen and Dany’s rule,” Jared clarified. 

“Wait, they sanction this?” You took a second to evaluate if you thought they were lying then lit on another part of what Jensen had said. “What do you mean ‘last test’, there were tests?” 

“Yeah if Jared picks someone out then we usually ease into it to see if whoever it is seems like they would be into what we want. We weren’t lying to you before, your question was awesome, that was one of the reasons Jared wanted to throw a test at you to check.” 

“And I passed this test?” 

“With flying colours sweetheart,” Jensen grinned. 

“What was it?”

“The Smirnoff Ice,” Jared laughed. “We iced you to see if you would play along with our bullshit or if you would wind up backing out, that’s why I made sure I told you you didn’t have to drink it, you had an out if you wanted it.” 

“But what sealed it was how you dropped to your knees like that,” Jensen cut in, his gaze claiming yours and holding you there. “That’s what we’re looking for in this. Someone who’s up for being a submissive for us.” 

“And we know that’s kind of out there for most people so if that freaks you out or it’s not your thing that’s totally okay,” Jared rushed to cut in, once again making sure you had an out if you wanted it. You were pretty sure you didn’t want one but there was still a crucial hang up that they hadn’t actually answered yet. 

“Okay but, I’m still confused. Genevieve and Daneel are just cool with you guys picking up random girls for one night scenes?” You cringed internally, hoping you were using that word correctly, this wasn’t exactly territory you had experience in, outside of the internet. 

“Yeah they are,” they boys nodded. “And since you seem genuinely concerned that we’re stepping out on them, we have… where’s your phone Jared?” Jensen popped up off his couch and went to grab Jared’s phone off the table holding the cooler, where he had left it earlier, refreshing his whiskey while he was there. 

“Here,” Jared offered you his phone after he pulled something up on its screen. Jensen didn’t settle back on his couch but perched himself on the arm of yours, resting a hand on your shoulder as you pushed the solitary play icon on the black screen. 

“Hi!” Two chipper voices rang out in unison and the screen filled with an image of Jared and Jensen’s wives, sat at what looked like Jensen’s kitchen counter (it wasn’t creepy that you knew that, you told yourself, he’s the one who did the AD interview). 

“We hope you’ve been having a good day and the boys haven’t been giving you too hard a time!” Gen said. 

“We know what a pain they can be,” Daneel mock whispered before taking a sip of wine. “So, yay you, if you’re seeing this then they obviously think you’re something pretty special. You don’t have to feel bad, this is all totally okay with us-”

“Yup, everything is totally in the open, they’re not trying to trick you or us,” Gen assured you through the phone screen. 

“This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other either, so don’t worry about any of that.” Daneel’s smile was incredibly sincere and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding. “The thing is, me and Gen, we’ve all talked about this but neither of us is the threesome type.”

“And that was the one thing the guys wanted that we really weren’t up for,” Gen put in. “So we came up with this deal for them, they can have fun with a few people out on the road for conventions and stuff if they make sure to be careful, not pick up a lunatic, and always always make sure that whoever they pick up is gonna keep this to themselves.”

“For obvious reasons,” Daneel laughed. “So, if they’re letting you in on this little secret you’ve passed all the tests!”

“So stop worrying, and go have fun, sweetie,” Gen grinned. 

“Bye!” They waved in unison and the screen went black. 

“Any questions?” Jared asked gently. 

“I mean, in general, a million,” you laughed. “But I guess the big question would be how do you want this to work? Like, what exactly do you want from me?” 

“So you’re saying yes?” Jensen asked. 

“I think I am, yeah. But, seriously, what do you want?”

“Are you comfortable having a threesome?” Jared asked, in a manner that would have been appropriate if he was asking what pizza toppings you preferred. Your heart basically stopped at the image that produced in your head. Your body between theirs, their hands on your skin...

“Yes,” you nod. 

“Are you comfortable being submissive to us?” Jensen asked. 

“Yes… sir?” You threw the title out there on a whim, wondering if that was Jensen’s style. 

“You’ve never done this kind of thing before, have you?” Jensen grinned. 

“Which part? The threesome or the dom/sub stuff?” 

“Well I’m assuming, neither, based on your answers” Jared chuckled, and brushed the backs of his fingers up your thigh. 

“Yeah I- I haven’t,” you blushed and cleared your throat. “I haven’t done any of this before.” 

“That’s okay,” Jared’s voice was pitched barely above a whisper. “We kind of like that,” his eyes glinted, darting up to Jensen in a brief look of victory. 

“You know how to pick ‘em, Jared,” Jensen smiled, brushing your hair back over your shoulder and leaning down to touch his lips to the skin he uncovered. 

“This is really happening?” You breathed. 

“That finally our yes?” Jared asked, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear, pulling a shiver from your spine. 

“There’s one more thing I should tell you,” you yanked yourself back into your head, steadying yourself with a final breath before you chance smashing the glass on this illusion. Jared and Jensen backed off slightly to give you space. “When I said I’d never done anything like this I meant it.” You gave them a moment to absorb that but saw they hadn’t quite made the connection. “Like, anything,” you emphasised.

You saw their understanding slam into place.

Tags: @babypieandwhiskey @samsgirl93

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @do-what-the-knight-tells-you!

I hope you'll enjoy this gift, and happy holidays :)

Read on AO3

*****

Convention sans fake relationship

Derek looks down at the letter in his hand. He’s been through the contents three times already and by now he needs to admit the words aren’t going to change. He still reads through it once more.

With a sigh he pulls his phone from his pockets and a few taps on the screen later the message is off.

He hears Stiles’ jeep first, like he knew he would, his footsteps drowned out by Erica’s chipper greeting when she bursts through the trees, making him wait on the front porch. It’s Boyd who opens the door, Erica and Stiles lost in snarky banter that has Derek fighting the smile that wants to break free. Judged from Boyd’s silent judgement he’s not entirely successful.

Nobody gets to call him out on it as Scott, Allison, Lydia and Jackson pulls up in front of the house then, soon followed by Chris, Melissa and John; Derek still isn’t entirely sure how two hunters - Argents to boot - became part of his pack, but he’s as grateful for them as for the rest of his pack.

When the door closes behind them and they’re about to take their seats in the living room Isaac comes down the stairs, taking his usual seat between Erica and Boyd. Once everybody’s settled Derek pulls out the letter and hands it to Stiles who is closest.

“Okay,” he says with a questioning lilt to his voice once he’s done, Derek’s only response is raising an eyebrow.

“You want to go,” this time Stiles doesn’t bother making it a question though Derek nods anyway.

“Go where?” Erica asks, curiosity written in every line of her body.

Stiles waves the letter around then starts reading “...to see the Hale at the 25th Pack Symposium; a full week with something for the whole pack. Programme and registration form can be viewed and filled out online.” There’s just a second’s silence then the whole pack starts talking.

Before long it’s agreed they’ll go, Lydia volunteering to do the practical things like booking rooms and seats at panels that look interesting. Then they discuss how to get there; it’s not more than a ten hour drive, and soon they decide to rent two cars large enough for all of them and then take turns at the wheel. With that settled they let Melissa pick a movie (it’s her turn), Stiles getting drinks and Peter - nobody noticed him opening the door during the debacle following Stiles reading the letter - making popcorn. It’s early morning before the living room’s empty and they’re all asleep in the rooms Derek had made for them when he rebuilt the house years ago.

~

They leave at seven in the morning. John’s asleep in the passenger seat next to Melissa; she’d been lucky enough to get the week off but he’d just gotten off a double shift; behind them Isaac, Boyd and Erica are playing some kind of card game and the last passengers in the car are Chris and Peter.

Scott’s driving the other car, Allison sitting next to him; Derek sitting between Lydia and Jackson with a book in his hand, Stiles sitting in the back, cooler with drinks and a bag with snacks besides him. He’s asleep, too.

They drive for a few hours before stopping for gas and the opportunity to stretch their legs. When they’re back on the road Derek and Chris are driving, the Stilinskis still asleep and Scott pouting because he isn’t allowed to sit in the back seat with Allison.

They take a second break when Stiles wakes, and one more half an hour later when John does the same. When they pull up in front of the hotel hosting the symposium it’s with Erica and Jackson behind the wheels, both happily handing the car keys to the valets as they exit the vehicles. They all take a few minutes to shake their limbs and stretch their backs before walking through the entrance doors and make their way to the reception desk.

The receptionist is a woman who smells like thunder and lightning but her smile is friendly and she cheerfully tells them the way to their rooms as she hands them their keys. Derek would like to claim to be surprised when he realizes Lydia has only booked five rooms, but he’s not in the habit of lying to himself, so he just follows Stiles after the receptionist has handed him the key to the room they’re going to share.

They all meet up an hour later in the hotel restaurant, their meal quiet and soon over, all of them going back to their rooms and getting a good night’s sleep.

~

Derek knows people are curious, but thankfully nobody asks about the fire, or Laura or anything else he’d rather not talk about with a room full of strangers. But it’s nice, being surrounded by ‘wolves, by pack; stories and games he remembers from his childhood but that his pack has never heard or played before.

It’s the third day and all participants had been loaded onto busses and driven to a nearby, private forest, where they could run as they pleased. There were a few capable of the full shift and Derek had run with them, leaving his clothes with John who claimed to be too old to run in his spare time. Peter had grinned and slapped his rear before taking off and within ten seconds Melissa was left with Derek’s clothes, shaking her head at the two men while shooing Derek off to run.

Running in this form was different to the beta shift. For one doubling the amount of leg made it more difficult at first but once he got the hang of it (and the more he shifted fully the less time it took) he could run faster and further than usual; second everything felt different as a wolf; there had been a chill in the air he could no longer feel, the leaves had crunched when he’d stepped on them but now there was no sound of his paws on the ground. And then there were the scents: they were all a little clearer, more vivid than they were when he was human shaped. One scent in particular - lemony-sweet and earthy - stood out more.

There was no thought, no conscious decision when the wolf - tired from its run - followed that scent back, wrapped itself around its owner and closed its eyes for a nap. He’s not sure how long he’s been asleep when he’s shaken gently, Stiles’ low voice telling him it’s time to get back. Reluctantly the wolf recedes, Derek taking the clothes Stiles is holding out and once he’s dressed they make their way back to the busses, finding the same seats they’d been sitting in on the way out.

~

It’s not all fun and games, after all Lydia has signed them up for every panel she thought might be useful. Derek definitely enjoys the one about courting and mates, the one with “opening the lines of communication” is useful though the speaker is awfully boring, but he’s not entirely sure why Lydia thought he’d need “to see what’s right in front of you”. He tells her this that evening at dinner which earns him an eye roll from half the pack and her condescendingly patting his arm before she turns to Erica and picks up their previous conversation. Derek keeps eating and soon he’s drawn into conversation with Chris and Boyd, the panel long forgotten.

~

Their last day - which also happens to be the day of the full moon - is when things stop being as nice as they’ve been up to this point.

It begins like every other day with Derek waking up and having to extract himself from not only Stiles’ grip but the way their skin has fused together because someone - Derek sends his bedmate a fond scowl - didn’t want to get a washcloth before falling asleep. After relieving himself he takes a quick shower and getting dressed. Then he wakes up Stiles, grins at his grumbling protests and when he pulls the covers over his head, Derek yanks them off of him, laughing at the outraged look he gets for his troubles.

While Stiles showers and brushes his teeth Derek looks over the schedule, deciding they won’t be needed for the day’s activities. Stiles agrees though he thinks they should still make an appearance for breakfast.

The sight greeting them has Derek regretting not insisting they could’ve left a note and taken off. His pack is standing with furious looks on their faces. At the table Allison sits, a ‘wolf Derek doesn’t recognize in front of her. The ‘wolf’s hand slams onto the table and Derek realizes they’re arm wrestling. He takes a step forward, interupting the unknown ‘wolf’s angry rant with a:

“What’s going on here?” Lydia narrows her eyes at the stranger while the rest of the pack refuses to look at either Derek or Stiles. In the end it’s the ‘wolf who answers.

“We were just playing for the rights to the pretty omega,” the guy leers in Stiles’ direction, Derek waves his peaceful morning goodbye.

“Who?” Stiles asks innocently, a dangerous glint in his eyes the ‘wolf either doesn’t notice or ignores. Derek’s money is on the former and if he didn’t want to get laid again sometime this week he’d be tempted to warn the ‘wolf.

“You,” he says to Stiles obvious amusement.

“Aaaaw, did you hear that, he called me pretty.” Stiles looks expectantly at the pack, all of them still glaring at the ‘wolf. “Well, if you’re still up for it, I’ll play with you.” The ‘wolf barely has time for a triumphant grin before Stiles flicks his wrist and the stranger is flying towards the ceiling; before he can make contact with it Stiles flattens his hand and then makes a few circles. The result is terrifying - at least for the ‘wolf now flying around the ceiling at breakneck speed soon screaming at the top of his lungs.

Derek waits but when after a minute it doesn’t look as if Stiles is going to let the guy down he finally decides he should maybe try to save the guy.

“Stiles,” he says carefully, “maybe you could let him down before he throws up on people trying to have breakfast in peace?”

Stiles smiles sweetly at him, but his - no doubt scathing - answer dies on his tongue when some of the hotel employees make their way into the dining hall.

“Sir,” the oldest looking of them addresses Stiles, “please put the guest down on the ground before we have to call the druids.”

For a second Derek is afraid Stiles isn’t going to do as asked but then he nods and reverses his hand movements, leaving the ‘wolf standing on the floor.

Derek’s a little sad they won’t get to run under the full moon with all the other packs on the other hand he much prefers spending those nights at home, with his glorious mate writhing under him.

[virgiliowintle7-blog]

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[writing-in-the-impala]

Hey Darling: Part 7

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader 

Series Summary: You’re new to conventions but its okay because you meet some pretty amazing people, including Rob Benedict.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, I’m just here to play with your emotions basically, swearing

Word Count: 2190

A/N: Have yet another chapter I feel like this is around a half way point for this fic. enjoy, also don’t forget feedback is really appreciated because I want to make my fics better.

Part 6 | Hey Darling Masterlist

  You arrived at the convention late in the evening on Friday, you decided to check the group chat to see what's going on, the girls were recording videos of drunk greenroom baseball, you decided to go and join everyone. When you walked in everyone welcomed you, you couldn't help to notice that Rob wasn't in the room. Not too long after you arrived Rob and Rich walked back into the greenroom with bags of alcohol. "We bought more booze!" They announced and everyone cheered. Rob said hi to you as if nothing ever happened and it was a good night, you were friends? Maybe more acquaintances. But luckily you guys were fine.

Saturday went by smoothly, you spent lunch with Kim, Ruth and Rob, talking like normal. "No Rob you're wrong. It was 'no I am your father' he never says Luke." You said.

"I agree with Y/N on this one." Kim backed you up.

"Fine I'll check on YouTube." Rob said pulling out his phone to check who was quoting star wars correctly.

"Y/N your photo ops start in five minutes we need to go." Your handler said.

"Okay, but we're gonna finish this discussion later." You said standing up and leaving.

"Yeah okay, enjoy the ops." Rob said as you walked away.

"Thanks bye." You replied leaving the room.

After the photo ops you had a panel you went backstage and not too long after Rob and Rich were introducing you.

"Okay before we let Y/N get on with the panel I have a question for everyone is it Luke I am your father or no I am your father?" Rob said making you laugh shaking your head. Most people cheered for what the first option and Rob was happy he had won. "Ha! Told you." He said making you laugh.

"Not so quickly let's play a clip of it shall we?" You said pulling up the video on YouTube and it turned out you were right. You started to celebrate with a little dance and jump around stage and Rob pouted. You were happy to be able to do bits like that with him again. Your panel went by smoothly and after the panel you had some free time where you could chill, you were sitting talking with Rob about something when all of a sudden Rich came up to your face with his phone. "What the-" you started before he shouted "Dickchat!" And Rob laughed, "finally he's doing it to someone else." Rob said and Rich went up to him with the phone.

"What did you say?" Rich said putting the phone in Rob's face.

"I- I said t-t-that I love Dickchat." he said with a grin before you and Rob bursted out laughing.

The rest of the convention day went by quickly and you were excited to go to the bar after SNS. You were all sitting on a large booth, Rob was opposite you and Kim was next to you as you sat on the edge. You were just chatting away when someone poked your shoulder. "Y/N?" The person said and you looked at them to see your old buddy Max.

"Max! Oh my god." You nearly screamed jumping up to hug him. "Sorry," you apologised. "Anyway guys do you mind if my friend sits with us? If you want of course." You said and everyone agreed, you introduced Max to everybody and he simply said "I'm sorry I'll probably forget all you names when I have a couple drinks." Making even laugh, Max always was a people pleaser.

"So what are you doing in Chicago?" Max asked you.

"Oh we're all working." You answered taking a swig of your beer.

"I need to get into acting if all you do is drink." He said and you and Kim laughed as everyone else was having their own conversions.

"So what do you do?" Kim asked.

" He's a musician." You said and Max playfully slapped you.

"I'm not." He said.

"You are."

"I'm not I'm a tour manager, I'm right now managing Green Day." Max explained.

"Wow that impressive." Kim said amazed.

"Yeah and he's a musician." You said dreamily.

"I'm not." Max said looking at you accusingly. "She just thinks I am." He added.

"Why does she think that?" Rob asked after silently listening to the conversation.

"Because he plays live music at clubs, he's amazing." You said.

"I'm not amazing." Max said.

"True Robbie's better but you're a close second." You said making Rob blush slightly but he was still disliking this interaction and your extremely flirty attitude towards this new guy.

"You play?" Max asked Rob with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, I'm in a band Louden Swain." Rob said trying to look laid back but you could see he was uncomfortable around Max.

"That's cool, where do you guys play?" Max asked.

"Oh at conventions, sometimes at random venues around the US mostly and some places around LA my other band the Station Breaks recently played at the attic sounds." He said taking a drink of his beer.

"Awesome I play there a lot actually." Max said.

"Funny I never met you." Rob said looking down sort of spitefully.

"Yeah well I haven't seen this girl in like what four months and we're practically neighbours." Max said putting an arm around you.

"Really?" Rob questioned lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah he lives on the same street, oh how's Jessie?" You questioned Max about his long term boyfriend.

"We broke up." Max said  looking down sadly.

"Aw baby are you okay?" You asked hugging Max.

"Yeah, ate loads of ice cream watched some Rom Coms and read some books while crying so now I'm better." Max said and you laughed slightly.

"Should've called me up I was doing the same thing." You said before smashing a hand over your mouth.

"Really? Did you get back with-"

"Oh no, oh god no, I started dating someone new," you said glancing to Rob who was intensely gazing at you and Max. "Um, yeah it was great for some time and then I fucked it up and spent like a week at work just crying in my trailer over a good book." You said and Max gave you a hug.

"This is why we need to stay in touch more." He said and you nodded, the conversation soon changed and the beers changed to shots.

"We will, we will rock you

We will we will rock you." You, Kim, Max and Matt sang along to the music. You were looking straight at Rob smiling to him and he was smiling back as he applauded the four of you.

"Oooo." You said as you heard the next song come on. "Max it's our song." You said and everyone looked at the two of you.

"Well then we have to sing along." He said making everyone laugh.

"When I'm telling a story And you find it boring your thinking of something to say You'll go along with and then drop it And you Humiliate me, in front of our friends."

You start in the middle of the first verse, laughing after the verse.

Then I'll use that voice what you find annoyin' And say something like "Intelligent input darlin' why don't you just have another beer then?"

Everyone was smiling including Rob who you were looking at.

"Then you call me a bitch"

Then you did something stupid on "you" you pointed to Rob but luckily no one but Rob really noticed it.

" and everyone we're with will be embarrassed, And I won't give a shit"

You rolled your eyes along with the words using gestures as if you and Max were performing the song.

"You said I must eat so many lemons, Cause I am so bitter I said "I'd rather be with your friends mate, Cause they are much fitter"

You pointed to Max for the "you" when for the "friends" you  pointed around the group with smirk and Kim just said "yep I'm fitter." Making everyone laugh.

"Yes it was childish And you got aggressive And I must admit that I was a bit scared, But it gives me thrills to wind you up."

Now you were looking at Rob again who decided it was enough. Max had a arm around you and it was frustrating Rob.

"My fingertips are holding onto the Cracks in our foundations, And I know that I should let go, But I can't."

"Sorry to interrupt but I'm going to the hotel bye everyone." Rob said standing up and getting out as fast as possible.

"He has a nice ass." Max said watching Rob walk away.

"Back off he's hers." Kim said to Max.

"You like him?" Max asked.

"I love him but got drunk and cheated and now he's walking away in a strop I'm sorry but I'm going to follow him I'll talk to you later Max okay? Bye everyone." You said standing up and following Rob.

"Rob!" You shouted once you were outside but he just kept walking so you began running after him. "Rob!" You shouted again. "Robert Patrick Benedict!" You shouted and he stopped.

"You know my middle name?" He questioned.

"Of course I know your middle name Rob, I know your mom's name is Vivian, your dad was a dick and your older sister is called Amy and your brothers name is called  Matt and apparently he's ridiculously tall, you love the Bachelor and when you met Eddie Vedder you asked someone to ask him for a cigarette but Eddie heard you and handed you a cigarette, funny thing you don't smoke. You told me all this Rob, I know you."

"I can't believe you remember that." He said with his hands in his pockets looking down at his shoes.

"Of course I do, why did you storm out and leave?" You asked him and he looked up.

"God damn Y/N do you think I like watching you flirt with Max? Of course I left."

"Me? Flirting with- wait a second is that why you're in a mood? I would never date Max." You said slightly laughing at the absurd suggestion, I mean Max kept talking about hot guys in the bar and about his ex boyfriend plus he checked Rob out.

"Oh I'm sorry of course you wouldn't date Mr green day tour manager, oh and he's a musician isn't that great, he's also hot and young I mean jackpot." Rob said angrily.

"Yeah he's pretty dreamy I don't understand why you aren't dating him yet I mean even when you were leaving he said you have a hot ass."

"Wait what?" Rob said confused.

"He's gay! Like full on we went to pride last year together I can show you the photos of him kissing a guy while wearing rainbow everything gay." You said breathing out a deep sigh and Rob started to chuckle shaking his head.

"Wow so you think I have a chance?" Rob asked and you playfully slapped his arm. "I'll take that as a no." He said with a smile.

"Rob?" You didn't really know what you were about to say.

"Hm?" He questioned.

"Can we talk? About us?" You questioned quietly looking down at your feet. Rob bought a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed it with a sigh.

"Y/N..." He said with a sigh.

"Okay I get it you don't want to talk about this, let's go back to being fake friends." You said lifting your hands up in defeat.

"You think I'm faking it? Y/N I love spending time with you, you make me laugh more than anyone else, I'm not faking our friendship."

"Then do you want to go back to my room and watch a movie, as friends?" You asked hopefully.

"Definitely." He said and the two of you walked back to the hotel. So you went back to your room with Rob to watch a movie as friends, you decided it wasn't weird to lay in together watching a movie as friends so you did, the next morning you woke up cuddled up against Rob who's arm was around you as he slept, you began to move and get your phone off the night stand to check the time accidentally waking Rob up in the process.

"Morning." He said with a sexy morning voice that made you crazy but you had to act casual.

"Shit! It's nearly 9 o'clock we have to be downstairs soon." You said in panic. "Oh yeah and good morning." You added in a more calmly making Rob chuckle.

"You're so cute when you're rushing, good night." Rob said pulling the covers back up and closing his eyes again.

"Benedict you have to get out of bed." You said pulling the covers off and ignoring his comment.

"Five more minutes." He said pulling the covers back up.

"No." You said taking the covers completely off him and dragging them to the bathroom with you.

"Ugh, fine." You heard from the other side of the door. "I'll see you downstairs Y/N, bye." He shouted so you heard him.

"Bye." You shouted back as you began to brush your teeth.

Part 8

Big thanks to @mr-robenedict for creating these gifs for me

People who wish they woke up in a bed next to Rob : @waywardswain @supernatural-everyday @winchestergirl-13 @perksofbeingafangirl26 @natasha-cole @girl-next-door-writes @itsfunnierin-enochian

[imaginative-neverland-blog]

Panels

Request: (rebel) Thomas Brodie-Sangster imagine where Y/N plays Brenda in The Scorch Trials and The Death Cure movies (because I love the actress they picked for her in general but imo she isn't fit for Brenda whoops) and they fall in love. The general public loves them but lots of fans want Y/N to be with Dylan since they play (kinda) lovers. At a panel a fan asks about how Y/N,Thomas,and Dylan feel about the situation. (the rest is up to you)

Warnings: none

You were the newest actor in the acting world. Your first major role was playing Brenda in The Maze Runner movie series. You were so excited to play the part, and the fans loved you in The Scorch Trials movie. Now it was time for your first convention and first panel.

You didn’t know how it’d go. It was a panel with James Dashner, Thomas Sangster, Dylan O’Brien, and a few other of the main characters in the second film. 

However, what made you even more nervous was the fact that you and Thomas obviously had a thing going on. During filming, you grew close to Thomas out of everyone, and eventually you two began dating. A lot of fan wanted you and Dylan to be together in real life because they shipped your’s and his character together. You didn’t know how they would react.

The panel started. Hearing the roaring cheers coming from the audience caused an adrenaline rush. This was so exciting and you were so nervous. You were shaking almost. Thomas held your hand though, squeezing it. You sat next to him, Dylan on your other side.

For your first panel, it was going pretty smoothly. Fans asked a bunch of questions. Some were silly and some were serious. It was all good fun. But then came the question. You knew someone would question it, want to talk about it. And it happened.

“So this question is for Thomas, Dylan, and Y/N,” they began. “So Y/N and Thomas are dating in real life, but a lot of people want Dylan and Y/N to be together because of their characters minor love interest. How do you all feel about that?”

“Uh, good question,” Dylan chuckled. “Well, Brenda and Thomas do have this love thing going on, but just a little.”

That got a few laughs from audience members.

“Thomas and I,” you chipped in, “grew really close on set. And although Newt and Brenda don’t really interact or have some love thing going on, we...” You didn’t know what else to say. you were at a loss for words.

“We have created this bond, and although people want Y/N and Dylan to be together, we fit better in the romantic setting.” Thomas smiled, looking at you.

“Plus, I see Y/N as a little sister. I could never date her a sibling, that’s gross.” Dylan joked, laughing.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh yeah, could never date someone I see as an older brother,” you giggled.

Thomas picked up his microphone again. “All in all, we’re fine knowing fans want Y/N and Dylan to be boy and girlfriend in real life. The three of us know that that won’t happen since they view one another as siblings, and I love Y/N so much...”

“I love you, too,” you blushed. The audience awed, causing the blush to grow. 

Thomas grabbed your hand underneath the table, squeezing it. You let go, resting your hand on his thigh. You both exchanged loving grins, waiting for the next question of the panel.

The rest of the panel went smoothly. Of course more questions about you and Thomas came up, everyone wanting to know the scoop. It was fun and nice to actually be at a panel. It was a lot more fun than you thought.

“So how was it?” Dylan asked. “How’d you like your first panel?”

“It was loads of fun, and so silly. I thought I wouldn’t know how to answer any of the questions, but I did. I knew exactly what to say. It was one of the best times ever.”

“You’re so cute,” Thomas chuckled, wrapping an arm around you.

Dylan grimaced playfully. “You two are gross.”

The three of you laughed, walking out of the building to get some lunch.

[dommesticpet]

Dawn of the Butterfly - Entranced Day 1

Friday started with breakfast.   I got to meet @ellaenchanting​ and Damn Hypsters, plus we were joined by @tennfan2​ and of course @dommestic .   It was empty, but not particularly speedy.   I got to see a little of the opening ceremonies as it was super packed and that room heated up fast.  Other rooms were icy cold, which was not what I was expecting from a July convention.

What panels did we see?  I'm so glad you asked.  I won't go into too much depth because nobody was asked, but there's a public program guide so I'll keep it superficial.

First up was Talking Body with Spiral Turquoise and Ariadne.   This focused on largely nonverbal inductions with verbal awakenings.   You could see full-body takedowns and the real highlight was a tickle induction using alternating tension and release in a way that makes complete sense once you see it in action.

Next was Crystals and Pendants and Watches: Oh My! with the well-versed @mrs-prism.  The lights in the room were largely brought down so you could get the most out of the many glowing, blinking, and reflective toys in the room.  A shopping list was distributed highlighting some of the items as well as where to get them, with loads of things I had not seen before.  There was also a brief induction with the Euler's Disc which worked out in a surprise way.   There were also some freebies thanks to the generosity of the host, and I dare not spoil how they were distributed.   It was also the first time I saw a Nova Pro 100 in use from the outside.  Confidential to everyone: keep your eyes closed when the glasses are on.  This is not a suggestion.  This is a safety requirement.

Hypnosis in Kinkland was set to be presented by @enscenic and @tennfan2, plus special guests.  Not wanting to break what may be confidentiality as their, it was awesome.   The special test subjects (and guest presenters and hypnotists) who shall remain nameless as they weren't in the printed synopsis were an absolute treat to watch, with one person's bubbly, giggling enthusiasm being the reason you come to an event like this.  If you could bottle it and sell it, you'd make a fortune.   This event focused on kinky ways to make hypnosis fun and hypnotic ways to make kink fun, and you got to see slapping inductions and a real powerhouse baller move involving slapping, a wall, and some kneeling.   If there's an opportunity for you to see this, you should.  If you know who the players are, ask them how it went.  They will tell you "very well" and then press them for more specific details.  It's worth it.

We got lunch.  We rushed back.

Dommestic went to The 7 Essential Skills Every Hypnotist should learn.  I went to Subjects 102 with the delightful @daja-the-hypnokitten and hypno-sandwich, followed by Daja with Tennfan for 103.  Good information overall for setting limits, saying no, and other things which as of yet have not come up.  It's sort of like the DARE program, in that I'm being trained how to deal with issues that never actually came up.   You should probably see these.  These should probably be some level of mandatory or signed off on just to get people on the same page.

Consent and Etiquete in the Community 101 brought more of that to light, with hosts Tennfan, sex-obsessed-lesbian, and AlianneCimorene (not on Tumblr?)   You got to see people throwing around all sorts of questions on consent and hypotheticals using a rainbow mustache and a plush octopus, which is really how more classes need to be presented.  A few specific anecdotes were tossed around regarding how to deal with situations, how to fix situations, and how to not fix situations, meaning this and the Subjects classes would've been pretty awesome primers as part of the opening ceremonies too.  

After a brief dinner with @wellgnawed and Lady Irkalla (not on Tumblr?) we had to rush back to check out @zanythoughts in her entry-level rope class.  How entry level was it?   It's so entry level that it was entirely appropriate to our skillset.   We learned what the bite of the rope was, how to do a basic single column tie thing, and the right way to do a square know.  I was the demo dummy for Dommestic, but you probably knew that.  It was a worthwhile experience, and if she can find the time I'd be up for trying more of this kind of thing.

And that was day 1 until about 8 PM, when I wrote this. There’s an after dark portion but I don’t know if any of that will be sharable.  I haven’t had any trancing done my way yet today, but I got to see a lot of stuff that would probably be worth making your way out here to see next year.

[theonyxpath]

Hi, everybody!

It’s good to be back after a week away post-Gen Con. So I’m going to tell you a little bit of what went on there, from my point-of-view, of course, but I’m also going to intersperse some quotes from some of our Onyx Path folks who were there helping us.

Of course, the first big thing we announced there was that we’re publishing Chicago By Night for Vampire 5th Edition!

We actually did feel kinda bad that we couldn’t tell you about it sooner, in that we do try and keep our inner workings pretty transparent for all of you. This was one of those times where the nature of working with White Wolf on this made it impossible to reveal it until the con. Their efforts and emphasis had to be on getting V5 out as promised, so we put our efforts towards getting V5 Chicago By Night written.

And as you see it mysteriously appear already in Redlines in the Progress Report below, you’ll realize we’ve been rolling on this for a while. Right now, we expect to have the text ready for editing in time to have a Kickstarter for it in October.

Kind of a fitting month, actually.

One of that Kickstarter’s goals will be to get this traditionally printed and into stores, where it can join V5 on the shelves. So, that’s a cool thing for us to try out with a WoD book, and we’re looking forward to how that will work out.

  “It’s so refreshing to interact with fans in person and hear about all the games that excite you! Every one of our games got some love in conversations I had with you folks, and that was awesome to see. Thanks especially to all those Changeling: The Lost fans who came to chat with me. :)” – Meghan Fitzgerald

  Like I mentioned in a previous blog, our booth was across the aisle from White Wolf‘s this year, and they, of course, were selling Vampire 5th Edition like fanged and bloody hotcakes. Or maybe just “bloodcakes”.

Besides V5 Chicago By Night, they announced several other projects from other licensing partners, including V5 Makeup, which was a huge hit with some of the folks I talked with. Others, who seemed to have missed WW‘s whole “we’re going to license all sorts of things for all sorts of fans” stated intentions, felt like this “cheapened” V5.

Back in the day at WW, we licensed out VtM zippos and license plates. Action figures. Just sayin’.

      Scion: Hero illustration by Michele Giorgi

    The gang at the WW booth were also fantastic at directing the throng buying V5 over to our booth where Mighty Matt McElroy had arranged that entire side of our booth with our 20th Anniversary WoD books on display. That worked really well, and further illustrated how the current team from WW are both gracious and fun to be next to for many, many, hours!

  “I really enjoyed talking to fans about Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Fetch Quest, and Dystopia Rising: Evolution! I love watching people have fun around a table, and this year I got to see that directly, which is always wonderful. I just wish I had more time to talk to everyone and do everything!” – Eddy Webb

  Our demo tables in the booth were really well attended, particularly on Saturday, and we were really glad to be able to walk folks through different games. I think this is even more important with games like Fetch Quest which is very much a card game, or They Came From Beneath the Sea! which adds a bunch of fun extras to the base Storypath System in order to create an “enhanced” TTRPG experience. It really helps to play through them a bit.

We’re used to getting gasps and excitement with a lot of our demos, it’s great to hear that both of these two games also had demo players laughing, as well.

    PtC Tormented illustration by Tilen Javornik

    We shared our booth with our friends from Eschaton Media, the Dystopia Rising creators, and not only were they great booth-mates who really helped make booth tear-down a breeze, but we were able to trade some fantastic ideas about rewards and stretch goals for our Dystopia Rising: Evolution RPG Kickstarter coming up next week. We think fans of our RPGs and fans of their previous DR projects like the LARP are going to find this Kickstarter pretty interesting!

We were also able to talk about the challenges of running a “franchise” business model for their LARPs, which is similar to licensing each venue out (as opposed to the “fan club” method used by old WW), and how they continue to evolve that system.

Since I am always trying to find ways for Onyx Path to evolve and improve, it is really good to be able to compare notes with folks who are also able to clearly look at how they did things in the past and actively try and improve on them. Maybe more on that at a later time.

  “It’s always wonderful to interact directly with our fans and customers. I found myself answering a whole load of questions about They Came From Beneath The Sea! and V5: Chicago By Night, but also being able to just chat away about all our other games and roleplayer experiences is a joy. I had the chance to run several games, including They Came From, Pugmire, and Wraith 20 at the booth, and even Werewolf: The Forsaken in the hotel bar! In all, I had a fantastic, busy convention.” – Matthew Dawkins

  We also announced our latest license, Legend Lore, based on the comic book world of “The Realm” and “Legend Lore” from Caliber Comics. The system is going to be D&D 5e based, and we’re sorry if an early press release said something different, but there is one key aspect of Legend Lore that we think will make it a very unique game.

The primary setting plot point is that the protagonists are people from our world transported to the fantasy world of Legend Lore. Now this is a pretty common trope in the fantasy fiction genre, but less so for TTRPGs. And pretty much the basis for that translation that I’ve seen in other games was to look at things like your Strength stat and ask how many weights you can bench press, or your real world IQ translated between 3 and 18.

We’re not doing it that way. More on how we are doing it as the book begins to be previewed. We’re also keenly aware of not minimizing anyone’s real-world challenges and disabilities. More on that too, in the months to come.

  “As always, fans are why we do this Con, whether it was meeting fans of our stuff for the first time, making new ones out of interested folks, or seeing old friends after yet another year.” – Neall Raemonn Price

  Our “What’s Up With Onyx Path?” panels went really well (although I had to miss most of the second one on Saturday), with some really excellent Q&A after the big points announcements. That was where we could delve deeper into the specific projects folks in the audience wanted to hear about. Both the “Freelancing for Onyx Path” panel and the “Developer Bootcamp” were super well attended and folks seemed really engaged.

Dixie, Matthew, and Eddy recorded both the “What’s Up With Onyx Path?” panels and edited them together into a semi-coherent whole that went up on the Onyx Pathcast last Friday. As always, you can hear them on PodBean or your favorite podcast venue.

They had to edit them, though. Even though we didn’t have whole swathes of the recording drowned out by trains like in previous years, we still had some outside noise break through, and I’m sure I talked away from the mic plenty of times!

  “It’s always such an amazing feeling to get to interact with new and old fans, as well as my peers in the gaming industry I don’t get to see often. I love how excited everyone was! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the booth to chat or say hello.” – Dixie Cochran

  Like every year, there’s never enough time to talk with everyone on a business level – nevermind all the friends and members of our community who want to chat and catch up. Like last year in particular, I think you’ll be seeing some amazing results from a bunch of the meetings and chats I did have as the year progresses. But there’s not a lot of details I can share.

In general, I talked with several translation partners about pretty much all of our game lines, sat down to hear a bunch of pitches for new games or licenses, discussed our upcoming art needs with several of the illustrators in attendance there. I had a very quick but very focused meeting with Jaunty James Bell, our Kickstarter Concierge in order to be sure that he was still loving his job. He is.

I counseled way too many creators with Imposter Syndrome, a different depressed artist, and let an old and dear friend know that I was going to be a grandparent like she has been for a few years already. “Any tips?”

I was sitting in the Indy airport finishing my last blazing shrimp cocktail and wondering how that thing we had planned for for so long could have gone by so fast. It is just so packed with sights and conversations and games and late nights and early mornings.

It’s Gen Con, baby!

    Monarchies of Mau art by Pat McEvoy

    Here’s a handy link list from Impish Ian Watson, who set up the blog last week. Thanks, Ian, and also to Matthew Dawkins who wrote the texty part.

Onyx Path’s 2018-2019 Publishing and Storypath Brochures are now available

Onyx Path is publishing Chicago by Night for Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition

Onyx Path is publishing a Legendlore RPG in partnership with Caliber Comics

Onyx Path and Pugsteady are collaborating with iThrive Games and the Bodhana Group to create the Critical Strengths Engine, a ruleset based not on physical strength, but emotional resilience, motivation, understanding, and communication. The first published adventures will be written by Eddy and will be officially licensed Pugmire products.

Check them out and see the proof of our motto:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

  Dystopia Rising: Evolution art by Mark Kelly

Our next Kickstarter will be for Dystopia Rising: Evolution starting on Wednesday the 22nd at 2pm EDT.

  ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here are the links for the Apple and Android versions:

http://theappstore.site/app/1296692067/onyx-dice

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.onyxpathpublishing.onyxdice&hl=en

Three different screenshots, above.

  ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Endless Ages Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Rites of Renown: When Will You Rage II (Kindle, Nook)

Mage: The Ascension: Truth Beyond Paradox (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: The God-Machine Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Mummy: The Curse: Curse of the Blue Nile (Kindle, Nook)

Beast: The Primordial: The Primordial Feast Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Masquerade: Of Predators and Prey: The Hunters Hunted II Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: The Poison Tree (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Songs of the Sun and Moon: Tales of the Changing Breeds (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Requiem: The Strix Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Forsaken: The Idigam Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Mage: The Awakening: The Fallen World Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Beast Within Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: W20 Cookbook (Kindle, Nook)

Exalted: Tales from the Age of Sorrows (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Tales of the Dark Eras (Kindle, Nook)

Promethean: The Created: The Firestorm Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Demon: The Descent: Demon: Interface (Kindle, Nook)

Scarred Lands: Death in the Walled Warren (Kindle, Nook)

V20 Dark Ages: Cainite Conspiracies (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Strangeness in the Proportion (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Requiem: Silent Knife (Kindle, Nook)

Mummy: The Curse: Dawn of Heresies (Kindle, Nook)

  OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there!

https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

    Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

Here’s the link to the press release we put out about how Onyx Path is now selling through Indie Press Revolution: http://theonyxpath.com/press-release-onyx-path-limited-editions-now-available-through-indie-press-revolution/

And you can now order Pugmire: the book, the screen, and the dice! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

SPECIAL W20 and M20 SALE! Huge savings on our Deluxe printing overruns until 8/31!

https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Deals-and-Specials/

    DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

  This Wednesday, we will release a series of Wraith: The Oblivion Journals on RedBubble!

    CONVENTIONS!

From Fast Eddy Webb, we have these:

Eddy will be speaking at Broadleaf Writers Conference (September 22-23) in Decatur, GA. He’ll be there to talk about writing for interactive fiction, and hanging out with other writers who have far more illustrious careers. http://broadleafwriters.com/3rd-annual-broadleaf-writers-conference/3rd-annual-broadleaf-writers-conference-speakers/

Eddy will also be a featured guest at Save Against Fear (October 12-14) in Harrisburg, PA. He’ll be running some Pugmire games, be available for autographs, and will sometimes accept free drinks. http://www.thebodhanagroup.org/about-the-convention

If you are going and want to meet up, let us know!

    And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

C20 Novel (Jackie Cassada) (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

  Redlines

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

  Second Draft

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

C20 Players’ Guide (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

In Media Res (Trinity Continuum: Core)

Changeling: The Lost 2nd Jumpstart (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Adventures for Curious Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

  Development

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Fetch Quest (Pugmire)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

  Manuscript Approval:

  Editing:

They Came From Beneath the Sea! Rulebook (TCFBtS!)

Dog and Cat Ready Made Characters (Monarchies of Mau) (With Eddy)

  Post-Editing Development:

Scion: Hero (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Core Rulebook (The Trinity Continuum)

Trinity Continuum: Aeon Rulebook (The Trinity Continuum)

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exalted 3rd Novel by Matt Forbeck (Exalted 3rd Edition)

GtS Geist 2e core (Geist: the Sin-Eaters Second Edition)

M20 Gods and Monsters (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Night Horrors: The Tormented (Promethean: The Created 2nd Edition)

Guide to the Night (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

  Indexing:

    ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

  In Art Direction

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – KS finals rolling in.

VtR: Guide to the Night

M20: Gods and Monsters 

Geist 2e

The Realm

Trinity Continuum (Aeon and Core)

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Ex3 Dragon Blooded

  Marketing Stuff

  In Layout

Scarred Lands Trilogy Novels – Converting to PDF and PoD.

PTC: Night Horrors: The Tormented

Fetch Quest

Cav cards

  Proofing

Scion Hero 

  At Press

Changeling: The Lost 2e – incorporating errata and getting it ready for indexing.

Monarchies of Mau – Press proofs signed off… now printing.

Scion Origin – Out gathering errata.

Cavaliers of Mars – Printing.

Wraith 20th – Prepping the Deluxe files.

Monarchies of Mau Screen – Printing.

Cavaliers of Mars Screen – Printing.

Wraith 20 Screen – Printing.

Scion Dice – At fulfillment shipper.

  TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: And we’re back! A bunch of us got some down time after/during Gen Con, and we’re feeling gooood.

[neth-dugan]

Nine Worlds 2017

This is a slightly lengthy report but meh. Tumblr has a ‘skip to next post’ function so what the heck.

I managed to get a pre-con cold rather than the traditional post-con one, which I’ve managed to give to @knittedace​ as well, oops. I did have hand gel on me and tissues to minimise the spread. If I gave anybody else my cold I’m sorry!

I met up with @knittedace​ on the Thursday. We were meant to go to the Natural History Museum but I’d been off work sick the previous day and just couldn’t do it. No energy. Instead we met up at the hotel itself and as soon as we could get into the room we unpacked and I took a nice and much needed nap.

We went to the ‘Cheese and Cheese’ evening event, one of two events to welcome people to the convention. There was cheese of both the literal and literary variety to be enjoyed. I read out a riveting and very cheesy Power Rangers VHS tape description, but the best was a very cracky, rather explicit Doctor Who one that had the entire room in hysterics. I was laughing so much I was coughing up a lung.

FRIDAY

I was initiated into the Order of the Dalek! Learnt how to put on @knittedace​‘s knitted Dalek costume - something I got better at as the weekend went on. I also came across some great cosplays, and @knittedace​ got to pose with a Missy and Thirteenth Doctor. She’ll post the pic if she wants to. 

In the morning I decided to go for something different from what I usually go to. We’d met the woman running some of the kids panels and she invited us along. So I went. It was pretty cute, gave the parents some adults to be around too and just played some simple games. Don’t really get to do that ever. And then there was a fun story that was like some kind of Dinosaur version of Planet of the Apes but about environmental issues and written a few decades back.

Then I went to a crafty thing in which we all made hair bands! Met some great teens, two of whom had made their own cosplays. For one it was her fourteenth birthday and she ended up having to help me out because I’m rubbish at this stuff. We had some good talks fandom but also human orientations and labels and just being happy with who you are.  Oddly we all also ended up in the next thing which was basically free tea and cake with tables to chat at. 

I came across this same group of teens at this con, all through the weekend. They’re all smart and for all that they’re still growing up and maturing they’re great people already.

I was given the green tea left ofter after. Yay free tea!

Toxicity in Fandom was my next stop. Nothing particularly surprising but still a good talk that had someone who had once been a part of those hostile groups though they’ve grown up and are better now. It also touched on how the toxicity doesn’t just come from the traditional bigots and gamergate type folk, but also people from those who use the language of social justice to bully rather than for good. The folk who live up to all the bad things people throw at the ‘sjw’ name.

Nine at Nine Worlds: Nine Tropes which was about, well, tropes in fan fic. Nine of us presenting five minutes on our favourite trope. It had the return of Nina - Lady of the Puppets - and then I did mine on ‘Time Travel Fix It Fics’. Went well. People laughed. Someone the next day pulled me aside to have a chat about it. Apparently I accidentally made them read loads of fic with the trope. Oooops. There was also a dramatic 007/Q power point fic reading that I helped out with, to lots of laughter.

There was also a late night game of Slash, with my home made deck, with other members of that panel including Tanya who had lead it. Tanya, for those who don’t know, was co-head of the Fan Fiction track back when tracks were organised differently and there was a specific Fan Fiction track. She’s still a big part of the fan works type stuff and is pretty damn awesome. She’s been there to help me out when I needed it and is pretty brilliant. There were also others who just came and joined in and that’s the beauty of these things. But then it was time for bed.

SATURDAY

Before any panels started, me and @knittedace​ met up with the person who’d be our third in Sunday’s Redemption round table to have a real world chat over breakfast which was fun. I’ve no idea if he has a tumblr ID to tag him in however. I’d wanted to have someone who knew about anime on there because neither me or @knittedace​ know anything about it. I know about Yuri on Ice but not much else. And though it’s mostly a workshop it is a bit panel so yeah. We had a great talk. And food.

We found the infamous ‘TARDIS full of Bras’ cosplayer. For those who don’t know there was a comment on a British newspaper site that is our version of Fox saying that the new Doctor couldn’t be a woman because then the TARDIS would be full of bras. So some brilliant soul went and turned this into a cosplay and just…. love. Again the pic I have is of Helen too so it’s up to her to post it. But seriously, OMG LOVE.

Time Travel and Film was our first panel of the day. We both got there in time for the hall to be mostly empty. I had on my TNG uniform hoodie thing with my comms badge pin so we get this photo:

The talk itself was also fun. Presented by an actual university lecturer on Philosophy, and turns out she was also the woman on a panel I’d be running later in the day. I looked at her name on the power point, down at the names I had for the panel and up again and went ‘huh’. Seriously though, good lecture about time travel from the perspective of philosophy rather than physics and its different possible models.

I was talking to some folk and the lecturer after, @knittedace​ having already left when I got a text from her saying there was a Londo cosplayer outside. I sped out there as fast as I could to find this fantastic person:

I have no idea their name or anything other than they were determined to remain in character and had a wife who sounded a bit bemused and long suffering of it all. Kinda reminded me of my mom trying to deal with my dad actually.  He was really fun though. (ETA: I am told that he is @TheWarLlama on twitter) (ETA2: Apparently the woman wasn’t his wife. I just assumed because the dynamic going on reminded me of my mom lol. Oops. )

Queer Coding in Disney was my next stop. The person doing it did a good job. Made sure they explained what queer coding was in the first place for those who didn’t know and then went through Disney. Talked about films I didn’t know much about, and there was some talk about how some of this also intersected with other minorities and representation of various people.

After that I went upstairs for a nap. I was tired, still had that damnable cold, and wanted to be my best for my panel. I missed a panel slot with content but self care is important so up I went.

But then I was back! With my Hufflepuff scarf and wand! And still in my Starfleet uniform hoodie!

I think on the way into the panel hall someone said something like ‘hello Commander’ and I was a bit confused. Mostly because I didn’t have any pips so couldn’t be an officer but that’s a small thing and I think I smiled back?

In any case, next up was my panel. Which upon arriving at the convention I discovered was to be held in the largest room at the convention. Eeeep!

Dumbledore: Good or Evil? Went pretty well. At least one member of my panel was surprised it was ever even a debate, but she none the less stood up and argued for good. She was the above mentioned philosophy lecturer so debating is kind of her thing. She comes at it very much from a philosophical theory perspective though which I think caught out one or two people in the audience going from twitter. A person took a picture and stuck it on their twitter. You can find that here. I’m in the middle.

There was a lot of talk about how Dumbles does or doesn’t use his power for people, abandoning Harry, the things that go on in his school under his responsibility, and at one point he was compared to Boris Johnson. How he seems to be about consequences more than the actions themselves. Is it intent or your actions that make you good or evil? Does the era that the man grew up in excuse things? Does the fact that there was a war coming/going on excuse things or not?

There was a question at the end about him being a slave owner due to house elves. That…. I had red sirens screaming in my head there. Thankfully it was with hardly any time to go. It’s a very good question. Something worth looking at. But nobody on the panel had any real place speaking on it. The philosopher took it, but she took it from literally a philosophical perspective rather than a moral one which probably came off wrong to some. Because yeah, that wasn’t a moral stance. I didn’t really know what to do there other than internally panic a bit and try to move on as fast as I could with a ‘this could be a whole other panel and should be’ thing.

I was so worried about not being neutral that I didn’t step in to point things out or ask things when looking back I wish I had. There are things about that I’d have liked to improve but largely the response seemed to be good. I learnt from it. We had a vote at the end on of the audience thought Dumbledore was ‘good, ‘evil or bad leaning’ or ‘it’s complicated guys leave us alone’. The result was a mixed bag with lots of complicated so I guess that wins. People did come up to chat to us when we were still on stage after it ended to thank us for this or that. I’d warded off a comment from team Evil that was about cheating but could also have come across as anti-poly and so someone thanked me for that.

Druids, Deities and Daemons: Archeological Horrors in ‘Doctor Who’ was my next thing. It wasn’t particularly exciting but it was an interesting look at how the show portrays archeology from an Egyptologist who had a delightful manner of presentation. You can tell he’s upper middle or upper class but he isn’t snooty and he’s just really cheerful and into his thing. Which is always a joy to see. He wasn’t fond of Ten saying that as a time traveller he laughed at archaeologists. Fair.

Ageism in fanworks/fandom was a panel Tanya had asked me to be on last minute when playing Slash the night before. So I had no prep time and possibly a few people were confused as to why an extra person was sat up there. I was probably the youngest person on there, no worries. But interestingly also the only person who had actually grown up in fandom rather than finding it as an adult. It was interesting, throwing up different experiences with fandom and how it sees age, how it changes. But also how media sees us. How it expects women to age out of fandom but for male fans to be the sad lonely people in the basement forever. 

Space Opera! SF&F in Musicals was a unique panel, for me anyway. Held in the lower levels with half the room covered by bean bags. By this point I could barely walk. I don’t know why, something happened to my legs and I found it increasingly hard to walk through the day. @knittedace​ said I should grab a priority access sticker but I’d have felt like a fraud even as I slowly limped my way around the place so i didn’t. But I managed to get a chair anyway so yay!

The person presenting it was drunk. I thought they were just mellow. It had originally been designed as an academic thing but given when it was scheduled it became a kind of guided tour of musical SF/F complete with YouTube clips, sarcastic comments from the audience and much fun. Also singing along sometimes.  I lost the key to my room. It later turned out I’d left it there when I awoke from my nap but I couldn’t find @knittedace​ so I got reception to invalidate the old ones and issue new ones. With slightly disturbing ease come to think of it. And that was that.

SUNDAY

Marvel v DC Fanworks was the first panel of the morning. Chaired by a very very very tired Tanya who was having a hard time of it I think. It was a good conversation but you could tell she didn’t have the energy to chair it as she might want to. I was sat next to the birthday girl from Friday who is smart and knows her stuff and was very very excited. So excited she frequently interrupted and spoke over others. I don’t blame her. She was excited and we’ve all been there. I’ve been there. And ideally it is the chair’s job to gently deal with that but as I said, tired. In the end a person left the room when they got talked over once too often. I don’t blame either. It sucks to be talked over, especially for some people who find that really hard. And though I’m sad she left I understand it.

But I’ve been a very excited teenager, in fandom at that, before. It’s also hard to pull that in when you don’t have the experience and you’re having so much fun and you have so so so many things you want to say and nobody is telling you no. I’ve been her as I said. The things she wanted to say were all good things. Just a convergence of multiple things that didn’t mix well is all. I think she noticed too as she got a sad look with the woman left the room. Felt bad for both of them really. All three of them.

Queer Dax was my next panel, and one I was running. I’d decided that there was no way joined Trill weren’t queer, and wanted to talk about that, so here we are. I’d made sure that the panel had people on it who were queer in various ways and though one person couldn’t make it due to passport issues we held on. 

The room started to fill up well before the start time. So we were chatting at everything from pets in the different series with someone insisting that Neelix was the pet on Voyager. Gasp! To how Mourn maybe talks a lot in ways we don’t get to Garak/Bashir slash to anything. The place was pretty full by the time we started.

It was a good discussion. I later found out that the person who’d manned the convention’s front desk really wanted to go but couldn’t and so was following a person’s live tweet of it as it went on. 

We talked about the identity of the symbionts themselves, what it may be like to suddenly be flooded with all these humanoid identities. How maybe they’re like drag (at the start anyway). How we never hear them talk for themselves, as themselves, just the hosts. We’ve even had former hosts separated from the whole and able to talk in the singular. But never a symbiont. We asked how memory worked, to what degree were the hosts individuals or now and how that may work. How there were ‘very special episode’ moments but how they kinda also played out like every other Dax romance and was pretty good for the era. How Trek at least had a framework where this discussion was possible.

I framed lots of things  as ‘for Paramount in the 90s’ or similar because yeah. The studios. Boy. And the times.

There was also a good deal of talk about the parallels between the way joined Trill are treated, and how Trill are screened to trans gatekeeping and queer separatism. How Dax seems to get away with literally everything and does Jadzia Dax at least have privilege? Lots of stuff I haven’t mentioned.

Someone in the audience asked about things within Trek that called to us as queer people and I got to go on about my asexual headcanon for Seven of Nine.

A Study in Redemption: Character Arcs in our Fandoms aka ‘Redemption’. And oh boy this has a long history. Originally this was a proper panel but stuff happened behind the scenes, messages got mixed and instead of it being a panel full of fandomy meta people it was proper Named authors and I got anxious and didn’t know what the hell to do and internally screamed some. I reached out to Tanya for help, and she and a person above her in the Nine Worlds team really did help. I am so thankful to the both of them. We ended up splitting it into two with the authors keeping the proper panel thing and doing it from their perspective and I’d do a kind of panel/round table discussion thing. Mostly round table. I heard some not so great things about the ‘Redemption in Sci-FI’ panel aka the parent one. I couldn’t be there so I don’t know the details.

This one was awesome though. @knittedace​ was on it with me, as well as our third the anime guy. Who did have things to contribute even to western stuff that coming from another perspective and tradition was pretty cool.

Again it filled up fast. We were chatting about various stuff before the panel time started. And by the official start time arrived we had to put a sign on the door outside saying we were full except for a couple priority access seats. And it truly was only two priority access seats. One woman came in, and then left as she didn’t have a priority access sticker when there was still a ‘open to all’ seat left. Oh well.

In this one I brought all of my experience charing over the weekend. What I’d seen and liked, seen and didn’t like, as well as stuff I knew already. I knew this could be a tricky topic for some so I made sure rules were set out first.

Like, obviously we are talking about characters who have done bad things. And this will be mentioned. We can talk about Anakin Skywalker but not go into graphic detail over what he did. Use trigger warnings. If someone is talking about something you find hard raise both hands or otherwise make yourself known in a way other than ‘I want to talk next’ and we will stop. Let you get out. And send someone to let you in again. That people know the protocol for spoiler warnings in their own media types and fandoms and to use them. And again if you need to stop someone because you’re behind the bell curve in catching up, let us know and leave and we’ll bring you back in after. Someone did take advantage of this which was awesome.

I also made sure people knew talking over others wasn’t what I wanted, that they were to respect others and let them finish and that sometimes the three of us on the mini panel thing would pull things back to us to raise new points or add new questions etc.

It went really well. Orderly. One person had to leave for a minute and did so, no fuss was made, and came back in after, People respected others, good discussion was had, the topics moved forward rather than spiral deeper and deeper on things, nothing got graphic. Somehow there was humour even given the topic but not inappropriate humour. 

Lots of good points including how some characters are seeking redemption even if probably they don’t need it. How for many people who had either been raised in a toxic/evil environment or who had been through crap otherwise, redemption was also often a story of gaining or regaining agency. How doing a good thing and then dying to save a person for selfish reasons wasn’t really redemption. Or how someone forcing you to be good by putting a soul in your body or other magic or something making you good is also not really redemption. Redemption, proper redemption, required choice and consequences and owning what you had did and overcoming. How sometimes there is an aspect of white saviour going on. 

I loved that panel. I really really did.

What gets me most is that at the end of the night, someone who I really respect (not Tanya to be clear) came up and told me that my Dax and Redemption panels had been her two favourite of the entire convention. I was so so touched, and honoured and it meant a lot. I had a couple other people say they’d loved Dax but this one person was… it blew me away. 

Geeky Cupcake Decorating was just pure fun. Me and @knittedace​ went to this just as a fun thing to do. Also being asexual we figured it was our duty. Speaking of, I made this lovely delight:

I had to mix the grey fondant myself. I think it’s fondant? Terms confuse me. @knittedace​ Made this brilliant set of Doctor Who cakes that she can show off later but where much admired. And the table near by made a truly adorable set of Yuri on Ice cakes. Some seriously talented folks. Also plenty of kids having a lot of fun. One little girl was running around showing off the cake she’d made and that her dad had made with real pride. So cute.

We went for dinner after that, sad that things were ending, and came back in time to go to the end of convention quiz. 

End of the Con Quiz is hosed by Ash every year. And much to my delight we were once again visited by the infamous No Face. This isn’t a cosplay, this is like a visitation from the real thing. Last year they were slowly chasing Ash all over the place. This time they were menacing him from the corner whilst people gave it tribute (and it ate the dire wolf) to making Ash dance.

I knew almost none of the answers. I never do. But they did ask a question about my panel!

Our team decided to call ourselves ‘Quiz Master Ash/No Face OTP’. Not much of a reaction from Ash to that when he read it out. We came fourth. There was joint last which mean they had to battle it out to get (or not get if they so chose) the last place prize.

Never have you seen such a tense and dramatic game of Jenga. There was Star Trek fight music (Kirk edition) on repeat several times, there was the Benny Hill chase music, there was the Crystal Maze music, there was the Tetris theme. There were people at the back standing up to watch, everyone was tense. Even No Face got in on the action intimidating people/paying attention.

No Face got way closer than that. Scary.

I mean seriously. Though it has since been revealed, nobody knew who the person doing No Face was for two years. And they were fantastically in character. It was genius. And people treat them with the respect and caution as though they were actually a malevolent spirit. So this was fun for everyone up there lol.

Eventually that ended and we retreated to the mini bar in the games rom. Played more Slash for a bit until we all had to leave.

And then it was the end of the con. And all is sad.

Me and @knittedace​ had to share a bed as the room was one large bed rather than two singles. And I was joking that if we were inside a fan fic this would so be the ‘forced to share a bed’ trope. Followed by some joking about waking up to bumps in unexpected places. Like lower legs. Or something. But we got to sleep eventually.

I’m sad to be home. I have ideas for panels next year already. I miss it. @knittedace​ described getting home sick when she got home and I hadn’t framed it that way before but it is. We both grew up in fandom. Spending time here, talking here, learning here. Fandom is a culture we spent our formative years in and are still a part of. And conventions are like temporary pop up real world manifestations of that. So it kinda makes sense. But what makes them so special, in many ways, is that they are temporary. Even if it’s always sad to leave.

Also, and importantly, at the bottom of the back page of the program was this very touching easter egg that will make you feel the feels if you decode it:

–. -. ..- / - . .-. .-. -.– / .–. .-. .- - -.-. …. . - -

Nine Worlds Staff and Volunteers

They are brilliant. They work tirelessly before, during, and after the con to make things work. From the techies making sure all the equipment works to those running the front desk and twitter so people know what is going on to those making sure things go to plan or even have a plan, to everyone else who makes everything work. To those who do the nitty gritty stuff like finances and talking to hotels or sponsors to get stuff done to those who organise tracks and content to those who book entertainment to everyone who volunteers for a few hours. 

They work so hard. And need so much thanks. None of this would work if not for them. It doesn’t matter how many of us are willing to sit at behind a mic and babble at you for an hour, if none of them are there nothing would happen at all.

So thanks to them for all they have done, and all they continue to do.

[floofsta-x]

Rise Before the Fall, Pt.1

parts;; One (You are here) | Two | Three (coming soon)

genre;; Science fiction, fandom – Pacific Rim!AU

pairing;; Jooheon x I.M [Jookyun, Rapper Line]; PS there’s also Kiho in here, and mentions of Hyungnu and Minhyungnu

⚠️ warnings;; violence of course [THEY’RE FIGHTING GIANT ALIENS???], fluff, bucketloads of angst, depression due to terminal illness, and some smut eventually

words;; 5497 (5.5k)

title;; The final track of the Pacific Rim OST, Drift – Blake Perlman & RZA

author’s notes;; Ahhh! I am so excited to be able to share a bit of this with you at long last! This is the first part of a Jookyun miniseries, but trust me when I say that I also have a larger, more inclusive work on the way involving the rest of the boys and this gigantic extended universe–that’s honestly gotten way too out of hand. But I will deal with that as it happens. Anticipate! I really hope you enjoy this small offering while you wait ❤︎

    It is June, 2017.

Almost two years ago, the first Kaiju emerged from the deep-sea rift known as the breach. Massive, terrifying, toxic, indestructible by conventional means, and hellbent on destruction, it ravaged a great part of the Californian coastline before finally meeting its end in the form of a nuclear warhead. There was great rejoicing. Everyone believed the threat to be over. The world sighed in relief and went on with the everyday, content to think that the terror was a singular event, a freak of space and time.

Yet, when the next reared its ugly head and leveled a good part of Tokyo, and the third headed for Sydney, Australia, the brutal truth had to be accepted. There was no end in sight. So, a council of world leaders from the nations of the Pacific Rim put their heads together. They needed a match for the towering Kaiju, the alien monsters. Thus, the Jaeger was born: a hunter, a soldier scaled up to the extreme of the alien threat. It was a crazy idea, but one that was eagerly received in light of such dire circumstances.

To be able to kill the fast-moving, agile Kaiju, scientists employed experimental technology. They hoped that the Jaegers could be controlled via mental power alone. The idea was that by syncing a man’s brain and the warrior, they would able to move as one, and naturally. Scientists quickly learned that one person on their own could not handle the load. When a second added their willpower, though, things ran a whole lot smoother.

Given the green light to proceed with production, within months, a small fleet of Jaegers rolled out. A governing organization for their maintenance and command was created, too: the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps. The Jaegers could not operate without pairs of pilots, and so teams from around the world were meticulously chosen and trained. They were the first on the front lines, and ultimately also the first to realize that humankind’s gamble was paying off. One Kaiju was killed at the hands of a Jaeger. A second, six months later. The next, four months following.

Now, there is an emergence about every 5 weeks. The ragtag teams of rangers and Jaegers that exist at various points around the Pacific Rim have managed to check them off as they have come, but there have been unforeseen consequences for many. Innocent civilians have died of Kaiju Blue, from attack, and from fear and panic. Mark 1 and 2 Jaegers have gone down, killing pilots, experienced and inexperienced alike. The world is tired, though the human spirit fights on.

This is the story of two young men, recruited by necessity and hardened by combat. Forged into best friends in the cockpit of their Mark 2 Jaeger, Blind Rhythm, Lee Jooheon and Im Changkyun have managed to fight their way through 3 solo kills and 1 team drop without becoming an alien monster’s gigantic toy. They’ve just been deployed again, against the biggest, nastiest Kaiju yet, and they’re going to need every bit of wit, skill and strength they can muster…

Lee Jooheon jerked out of his deep, dreamless slumber and almost instantly realized that something was wrong. The familiar, piercing sound of sirens rang in his ears and bright light pushed the dark away as the LED screen on the wall of the bunkroom lit up. Though he was still hazy and scrabbling for alertness, one thought ran through his head and one thought alone: Kaiju. And since the screen is up, we’re being deployed, then. Groaning, he rolled over and rubbed his eyes, then glanced toward the clock on the wall. 12:15 blinked back at him in blocky lines. 

“Changkyun? Hey, let’s go man. We’re up.” The messy-haired, chubby-cheeked boy groaned sleepily, wiggling a little bit to rock the bed. Doubtless, momentarily there would come a reply like “Ok, ok, you don’t need to tell me twice, Jooheon hyung.”

But there was only silence. “Come on, don’t act like the maknae. People need us–” 

Wait a minute. I don’t even hear breathing. Jooheon rolled and slid out of bed, dropping the little ways to the ground, his knees bent as he hit the floor. Glancing behind him, it hit him that his suspicion was correct. The bottom bunk was empty, sheets not even touched. 

Dread descended on him. “Kyunie…where did you go this time?” he half-asked, sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose between two fingers. It was a futile question, only for his own peace of mind; he knew without even having to look around that his co-pilot wasn’t here. 

The LED panel was urgently trying to blind him, but it didn’t matter at the moment. As he stood there and tried to get the gears of his brain moving, Jooheon couldn’t seem to think of anything else but his best friend and partner in crime. Changkyun meant the world to him. They had flown together for three years, first in basic training, then the Air Force, and now for the PPDC. Now, on missions, they lived in each others’ heads, but far before that, they had known their friendship was special. It had always been so natural, and though they had a few hard times they found themselves unable to stay away for long.

Apparently, others noticed too. Six months ago, an officer had approached them and recruited them for the PPDC. Jooheon and Changkyun had become part of the second generation of Jaeger pilots. Many commented on how strong their drift compatibility was. At first, both of them thought that it was a blessing. Then, they rushed through training (the Los Angeles Academy was still non-existent at that point) before ultimately command told them that they were to fill the cockpit of a Mark 2.

Blind Rhythm, they named the mech–and the duo learned very quickly how truly terrifying facing down a Kaiju was. It was without a doubt the scariest thing anyone could do, but together they had managed to keep their cool and bagged their first kill.

The next one was a little better than the first. The third went down in no time. And now they were about to be thrust into the fray again.

Once the cold of the concrete floor had seeped into his bones and he felt alert enough to think, Jooheon glanced over at the screen at long last. This kaiju–Blitzkrieg, apparently–was hands down the biggest that had ever emerged from the breach. They already had stats on it, as well as possible primary offensive strategies and mechanisms. Thirty minutes until report time, the red clock in the corner blinked forebodingly. Thirty minutes to find my co-pilot.

As he pulled on a pair of tennis shoes on, Jooheon shook his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then dove out the door in his boxers and rumpled tank top. He didn’t care that he wasn’t wearing socks, that his hair was a mess, that he probably looked like he had walked out of the apocalypse. His brain was going too fast, thinking of possible places to find a twenty-one year old boy–because in a few ways he still was a boy–Changkyunie.

Jooheon jogged down the corridor, purposefully passing halls of bunks and quarters. His instinct was to ask someone, and of course the first person to cross his mind was Shin “Wonho” Hoseok, head of Blind Rhythm’s J-Tech team. Hoseok-hyung was a good friend of theirs and always supportive. Many admired him for his body, but those who really knew him easily saw that he was as kind-hearted as handsome and sexy.

Finally Jooheon pulled up in front of the door he needed and knocked. Faintly, from inside, there came, “Just a minute!” 

That was fine. He had seconds to spare; also, it was a perfect moment to lean forward and catch his breath. Finally, the doorknob wiggled and none other than Wonho himself pulled it open. 

Boy, was he a sight. His dark, blue-green streaked hair stuck out oddly, and he was half-naked and adjusting his boxers, like he had just put them on and pulled them up. More than that, though, Hoseok…well, to put it nicely, it looked like someone had been having a little bit of fun with him. Lines of red and black hickeys dotted his neck and collarbone, and his lips (plus the immediate area around them) were redder and more swollen than usual.

“Jooheon-ah!” He gasped when he realized who it was. “What are you doing here, shouldn’t you should be suiting up–”

“I know, I know.” The chubby-cheeked pilot waved his hand dismissively, and before the older boy could protest he cut in, “Have you seen or heard from Changkyun? I can’t find him.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Who is it, Hoseok-ah?” In the dark, another voice spoke; moments later, someone else quite unashamedly came up behind Wonho and wrapped their arms around his torso. A lazy hand ran down his chest and defined abs. Not too much to Jooheon’s surprise, it was Yoo Kihyun, another friend and a doctor in the medical bay. So that was why Wonho had been finding every excuse to go there lately.

“Jooheonie.” Kihyun said with surprise, regaining his professional posture, though he didn’t remove his arms from around the older man’s waist. “Why are you here? You drop in 25 minutes.”

“He’s looking for I.M.” Wonho explained, patting the hand on his stomach and subtly lacing his fingers with Kihyun’s. “You haven’t happened to see him, have you?”

The black-haired, sharp-faced doctor shook his head. “No. But–I have heard people say that for the last month or so, he goes outside at night. To the lake.”

Jooheon abruptly remembered the last time they had drifted, and mentally rebuked himself for not thinking of it sooner. He had found out that his best friend took nightly trips to the small man-made lake just beyond the compound to watch the stars and moon, and also forget about the throbbing, sometimes excruciating, pain in his head, at the base of his brain. “Oh yeah. Say no more. Thanks.” He glanced between the two touchy boys at the door. “I’m sorry I disturbed you.”

“It’s alright, Jooheon-ah.” Wonho smiled encouragingly. “Just, go find Changkyunie and whip some Kaiju ass…ok?”

“Will do, hyung.”

“We’ll be here for you when you return as heroes.” As the pilot stepped back and nodded, turning to go, Hoseok thought of one more thing and blurted, “Jooheonie?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please…not tell anyone?”

There it was. Jooheon knew that Wonho wasn’t oblivious to the state he was in. If that hadn’t done it, Kihyun’s loving gestures gave it away, and on top of that, Kihyun had placed himself straight behind Wonho because he was stark naked. It would take someone horribly stupid to not see the truth.

Jooheon smirked and nodded. “My lips are sealed.” Of course, there was also the drift, but Changkyun would totally understand. Both of them wanted Hoseok-hyung to be happy, and neither had ever seen him as radiant as he had been in the last few weeks. It was obvious, now, why that was.

With a final duck of his head to his hyungs, Jooheon took off in the direction of the exit.

Not too much later, he found his co-pilot sitting out on the end of the big dock, staring down into the water, tossing a little electronic thingy-or-other out across the lake, and catching it as it came back to him. He had invented it, probably. Jooheon couldn’t help but take a moment to stop and appreciate how ethereal Changkyun looked, sitting there with a leg up on the pier, gently bobbing up and down as the waves washed up against the floating walkway, and bathed in the light of the quarter-moon.

“Hyung.” Changkyun’s low voice rumbled as the older boy approached, and he tossed his creation out and bent his leg so that his co-pilot could sit beside him.

“Hey, Changkyunie.” Jooheon took the spot, content to relax a little and wait. He dipped a toe in the water, making ripples and watching them expand outward, the proverbial drop in the bucket of time or whatever that shit was.

Finally the older boy broke the silence. “Is it your head again?”

“It’s always my head.” Changkyun tapped the back of his neck, immediately above the first vertebrae. “Right there.”

“Yeah–I know, I felt it last drift. Weren’t you supposed to have an appointment in med bay about it?”

“I did.” Somewhere, a cricket stopped chirping, engulfing the boys in a moment of silence before another started up somewhere else. “Kihyun-ah–he and Hoseok are friends with benefits you know–ran some MRIs and told me that he’d see me again in a couple of days. He’s convincing, but couldn’t fool me. I know when a person’s beside himself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

A storm of anger clouded Changkyun’s face. “He was pitying me. Dammit, Jooheon, I wish I knew why.” For a brief moment, Changkyun tensed before he was pulling in huge breaths, letting them out, and lowly humming an indiscernible tune. His pre-combat destress routine, he called it. “But that’s not going to help me now. I’ve gotta relax.”

“So you know, then. About the Kaiju.”

Wordlessly, the younger boy lifted his phone, and pulling his earbuds out of the headphone jack, flipped on the screen and gave it a shake. Voices started blaring through the speaker: various people in command, lead techs, LOCCENT. Almost the moment he did, familiar codes and names came over the air.

“514-M. Where are J and I? They’re not in their room or in the DR [drivesuit room]. Alpha’s wondering as well. Over.”

“514-W to 514-M and 514-Alpha. I’ve seen them. They’ll be there on time. Give them space. Over.”

Jooheon chuckled and shook his head. “You scoundrel, hacking the shatterdome’s private channel.” They normally had access to the feed, too, but with a special pager that was currently sitting in a drawer somewhere back in their room and definitely not with something as insecure as a cellphone. The channel was hidden to standard searching devices and came up blank, but somehow Changkyun had managed to tweak the phone or find another devious, secret way to listen.

“I haven’t cracked the frequency that matters, though.”

“Huh? You mean the one that Marshal Hyunwoo supposedly uses to talk to H.One? You still really believe that fantasy of yours is real?”

“Then why do we have seven 514 codes? And the last one’s 514-H, huh?”

“That’s easy. It’s from when Hyunwoo wasn’t in high command yet. He was only given the title Alpha after that happened.”

“Bull. He was 514-S; that was struck from the book a long time ago.”

Jooheon groaned, throwing his head back and giving an exasperated huff. “Think about what you’re saying, Changkyun. Our hyung? Talking to the most wanted man in South Korea, the Kaiju Black Market head?”

“Our research division gets the fresh material it does somehow. Also there’s substantial evidence for the rumor that Hyunwoo has a tryst with H.One.”

“That’s all just flying pigs and fucking lies to try to tear the Marshal down, and you know it.”

Changkyun sighed; but more because he wanted quiet and peace than anything else closely related to ‘You’ve won this one’. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Jooheon’s momentary anger at his partner cooled at the memory of how intense his pain was. Yeah, this stupid Shownu and H.One thing had existed prior, but–Jooheon couldn’t stop his friend from thinking altogether. Perhaps it made him forget the throb in the back of his head for a while or the stress that it put on him to be so young and have to fight things that could rip him apart limb from limb like nothing. Jooheon certainly had those coping mechanisms, too: rap, for instance. The occasional broken toaster or coffee pot. Looking after wizard hacker Changkyun. 

Finally, at long last, the older boy murmured, “Are you going to be ok to fly?”

Pressing his mouth into a line and sticking his tiny invention into his pocket, Changkyun nodded. “Yeah. I took some ibuprofen before I tried going to bed and I’ll have some more when we get back to the room.” He turned and pushed himself up, to his feet, holding out a hand for support as Jooheon stood. “I’ll be fine. Time to go draw some blue blood, yeah?”

“Hell, yeah.”

Just like Wonho had said, the two of them were right on time. Side by side they had their Drivesuits put on and stepped into the Conn-Pod. Once they were connected to the tangle of wires and metal comprising the command platform and feedback cradle, they made the drop onto Blind Rhythm’s nuclear-powered body. Jooheon and Changkyun felt themselves lock into the systems and start pulling weight with the Jaeger controls.

Not too long after that, a familiar, sunny voice crackled through the comms. “Welcome back, Blind Rhythm. Everything is looking smooth and clear and sunny…of course there’s no sun, but proverbially we’ll say–”

Changkyun groaned, glancing over at Jooheon and rolling his eyes. “We get it, Minhyuk…” 

“Ahem. Yes. Right. Well, the Marshal is now on deck, let’s get this Kaiju taken care of. Neural Handshake initiating in five seconds: five, four, three–”

This was the moment of truth. Jooheon and Changkyun glanced at each other one last time before they got sucked into the drift. The familiar falling feeling washed over them, of floating through each other’s memories: old ones from their childhoods, new ones from tonight, and everything in between. 

Finally they jerked back to the present. “Neural handshake holding, strong as ever…” Minhyuk noted, to be formal. For the Marshal, of course. The pilots swung into the calibration phase, before declaring that they were ready for combat, awaiting orders.

“Gentlemen, I hope you’re aware that this is a mother of a Kaiju.”

Gentle smiles spread on the faces of the two pilots at the sound of Marshal Hyunwoo’s voice. “Yes, we know that.” Jooheon responded with what they both were thinking.

“Good. Blitzkrieg is quickly approaching the miracle mile and seems to be heading for us; or, worse, Seoul. We can’t let it get past here. You are to dispatch it on sight.”

“Yes, sir.” 

The huge steel doors of the coastal shatterdome pulled apart with a groan. Blind Rhythm stepped out onto the tarmac, then into the cold, dark, but calm sea, striding out into the water, fists clenched. Jooheon reached up for a moment to flip off the comms. “Changkyun, I don’t feel as much pain as last time, but the pressure’s there–are you ok?”

“Yes, hyung, I told you.” 

The older boy’s eyes softened as he saw that his co-pilot was doing his best to contain his temper. “You realize that if you black out, I don’t think I can survive running this Jaeger by myself.”

Deep breaths, Changkyun. Ran through both of their heads. Then, You’ll still try, though, won’t you Jooheon?

I care about you, Kyunie. I’d die for you. That’s why, yes, I’ll try, if worse comes to worse. But we need to kill this motherfucking terror together.

A mile was nothing for a man as tall as a jaeger, and soon they were sitting in their target zone. “Ok Minhyuk, feed us things.” Changkyun said, eyes darting left and right. “Where is it?”

“It seems to be circling around; I think it’s sensed y–Oh, fuck!” 

“What, Min–”

“It put on a burst of super speed–closing in on you, eleven o’clock–get out of the way, fast–!”

Blind Rhythm had just enough time to sidestep before a huge, black and blue figure emerged from the sea, mouth wide open and clawed arms extended. It missed, barely, and flew on past, landing back in the water, kicking up mist and waves as it swung around. A brief moment of calm passed. Both monster and mech seemed to be sizing each other up.

“Christ–you were right when you said it was a mother, Marshal,” Jooheon muttered in awe. In addition to being the largest Kaiju they had ever seen, Blitzkrieg was agile-looking. It was ugly, too, with the body of a big cat, a slender tail with a massive, clubbed end, and the face of a Gharial crocodile–except with more eyes and several layers of long, pointed teeth in its mouth. The beast growled ominously before opening its jaw wide and making another leap for Blind Rhythm.

“Arm razor!” Both boys shouted together and flicked their outside wrists. A gap opened up down the Jaeger’s arms; long, knife-like blades reaching from fist to shoulder slid out.

As the Kaiju landed on top and knocked them over into the water, Jooheon and Changkyun threw their first left hook. Though they were aiming for the neck, it nailed the beast in the side of the head instead. Not like that wasn’t as good of a hit, though. Blitzkrieg roared in pain and shook its head, backing off. The Jaeger managed to roll over (with some effort) and scrabbled back to its feet, water washing off of the gray hull.

They only had seconds before they were set on again, the stone-like mass on the Kaiju’s tail smashing into their side. Changkyun, the left hemisphere, cried out; the backwash of pain got Jooheon’s blood boiling.

“You–you son of a bitch!” The older boy roared and straightened, reaching out to grab the tail as it came around for another hit. “Give us that!” By then, Changkyun had recovered. Quickly he grabbed just below where Jooheon’s right hand was, flicking his wrist down. The sharp blade on the side of the Jaeger’s wrist sliced clean through, detaching the club.

The Kaiju’s roars were starting to become more angry than pained; but the two boys could tell that taking off the tail had hurt. Jooheon flung the dead flesh out to sea. Then at the sight of the beast’s gaping maw coming around to snap at them, he instinctively leaned in with a shoulder. The beast attached itself there, and this time the older pilot was the one to have white hot agony flash through him. He thought that he could feel the individual rows of teeth burrow in; the beast chewed a little. “Agh! This is your chance Changkyun!”

The younger boy gritted his teeth and put his arm up against the Kaiju’s exposed neck. Acidic blue blood started running down as the knives cut into its flesh.

As the monster reared back to get away, Jooheon summoned his strength and reached up, electrical wires sparking and popping, and grabbed onto the long jaw, pulling the whole beast back toward them and onto Changkyun’s arm. In one smooth, fluid motion the latter elbowed out, cutting deep, deep into a weak spot in the Kaiju’s armor. The only thing that stopped them from taking its head off completely was its spine.

Wheezing and unable to breathe, the Kaiju stepped back, knowing that it was at its end. Blood poured out of the gash the Jaeger had created. Together, Jooheon and Changkyun reached down and grabbed the snout once more, but from the underside, surging forward and pushing the beast back, bending its neck at an extreme angle. Moments later, a snap ripped through the air, and the beast hung lifeless in their grip. Everything was silent, except for the two pilots’ heavy breathing. Blue blood dripped from the Jaeger’s hands into the sea.

Then there was a cheer from LOCCENT, Minhyuk at the forefront of it. “Kaiju Blitzkrieg has been eliminated!“

“Good work, boys.” Marshal Hyunwoo told the two pilots. “Leave the body there, we’ll have a containment dome over it soon.”

Neither Jooheon nor Changkyun spoke to each other as they strode back through the water to the shatterdome. They really didn’t need to; they knew what was running through each other’s heads. Shock lingered from everything that had just happened–and so fast.

Techs were swarming all over the damaged mech almost the moment that it reached the bay and powered down. When the pilots stepped out of the conn-pod onto the high walkway, Wonho was waiting, a huge grin on his face. His collared uniform covered up the area where Jooheon knew Kihyun’s bruises had turned purple. “Congrats guys.”

“Thank you Hoseok.” Jooheon nodded to their friend and grinned.

But Changkyun said nothing, just shuffled and stared at the floor, rocking on the balls of his feet. For some reason, after being in a Jaeger, pilots could still often feel what the other was thinking even after the neural handshake broke. The first pilots had called it a Post-drift hangover, and the name stuck. The raging one Jooheon had now told him everything. 

The painkillers were wearing off, and the throb in the back of the younger boy’s head was now unbearable. He felt like he was about to black out, but determinedly he kept himself upright. It took all his strength. He hadn’t even noticed Hoseok standing there.

Behavior like this wasn’t normal for Changkyun, and Wonho quickly picked up that something was wrong. He made a worried face and tilted his head quizzically at Jooheon.

“It’s ok.” the chubby-cheeked pilot reached over and placed a hand gently on his best friend’s shoulder. The younger boy looked up at him, in the eyes. Pain was evident on Changkyun’s face, and sunk deep into his irises. “Maybe something happened during the drift, I should take him to the med bay–”

At ‘med bay’, Changkyun seemed to come alive, and he shrugged off the hand, cutting in almost defensively, “No. I’m fine. I just need a little while.” Jooheon could see him fill up his lungs all the way, and then with a calmer tone, addressed their hyung. “Yes, thank you, Hoseok. Please take care of her.” 

“I’ll do my best.” Wonho nodded, knowing full well that he was referring to the Jaeger. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes.” Exasperation seeped back into the maknae’s tone. “I just need out of this drivesuit.” He started pulling at the release latch for the spinal clamp, behind his head.

“Changkyunie,” someone called from down the walkway, and Minhyuk came jogging to them. “Wait, let’s get back to the DR.”

The tall, slender LOCCENT officer led them there, but they made slow progress. Jooheon had to catch Changkyun on his shoulder, after the latter stumbled and almost fell in the hallway. Quietly, so that Minhyuk wouldn’t hear, Jooheon prodded his co-pilot, “Why won’t you let me take you to the medical bay? You need it.”

Changkyun let out a labored sigh. “I don’t want them looking at me.”

“We can ask for Kihyunie. You trust his hands, don’t you?”

Weakly, the younger boy shook his head. “You know, I told you earlier that Kihyun was pitying me? Everyone there looks at me like that. I don’t want to go.”

Right about that time, they reached the drivesuit room and Minhyuk turned to help them. Jooheon motioned that his co-pilot should get help first. Minhyuk only nodded and settled Changkyun down into a chair. In no time his slender, deft fingers had pulled the release. After that, the circuitry suit zipper only needed to be undone before he could slide out of the battle armor. 

Soon enough Jooheon was out, too, leaving both boys in underwear only. Changkyun tried getting into habit, but his best friend stopped him and gently pried the clothes from his hands, handing him a different set instead.

If anyone saw them as they went back to their room, no one interrupted. Jooheon wondered if it was a funny sight: one chubby cheeked boy in uniform, carrying another on his shoulders. The passenger wasn’t in uniform but instead in a pair of athletic shorts and a hole-ridden tee shirt. His arms and legs wrapped around the other, and his eyes drooped closed involuntarily.

Jooheon could feel Changkyun’s thoughts blank in and out as he succumbed to a mixture of pain and exhaustion. At long last he could set his co-pilot down in his bed. Jooheon pulled the sheets over the younger boy, and sat there a minute to rub his forehead before Changkyun’s consciousness flicked off for good.

The two pilots slept for a long time, and woke up feeling at least better about the kill they had managed to pull off. After that, a couple of days passed slowly. Changkyun still had excruciating pain, but the day-to-day routine they resumed, packed full of training, conditioning, and downtimes with friends, made it not as bad.

Jooheon couldn’t help worrying constantly about his best friend. He had never considered himself to be an anxious person, but now that Changkyun was struggling to live normally, he found that it was so easy to get that nauseous feeling at the thought of how sad and in pain the younger boy was. It ate at Jooheon. All he could do to keep himself level was stick to his own routine.

One evening, Jooheon returned to their bunk around six pm to discover that Changkyun wasn’t there. He hadn’t seen him in any of the usual places, so he had assumed the younger boy had already returned here. Jooheon’s stomach dropped, but he somehow managed to convince himself that it wasn’t reason to worry. Faintly, he remembered that Kihyun had called Changkyun back and asked him if he would be willing to meet for an appointment at five. Of course, Kyunie had agreed, and that was probably where he was now.

Changing into some comfy jeans and a black tee, Jooheon lounged at his desk. Taking out some clamps and screwdrivers, he busied himself in pulling apart a blender that he had found abandoned in a hallway. Many people in the shatterdome knew Jooheon’s talent for mechanics and so trusted him with various repairs. After realizing that he was being called on more and more, he started charging a small fee for his services. He also picked up appliances sometimes and worked on them, cleaning them for resale or personal use. The almost-mindless work kept his brain occupied and wiped away the stress of the day. 

The next time Jooheon looked up, the digital clock on the wall said 11:00, and the ranger’s eyes widened.

His next thought was the realization that Changkyun still wasn’t back. If he was going to sleep tonight, he would have been here long ago. Instantly, Jooheon knew where he would more than likely be. He still went out to the lake lots of times. Often Jooheon would let him have his peace, but considering that Kyunie had met with Kihyun today…a feeling deep in the pit of the older boy’s stomach urged him to go.

So minutes later, Jooheon found himself out in the night air, hands in pockets, wandering out to the water’s edge. It was a nice evening, but for some reason the wind chilled him more than normal. 

Changkyun was sitting in his usual spot: on the dock, both feet over the edge, motionless. So motionless in fact that Jooheon wondered for a moment if he was asleep. But as he heard his hyung’s footsteps approach, the younger boy turned his head to see who was there and tried his hardest to smile. 

With a jolt, Jooheon realized that his best friend was paler than the moonlight that shone down on him. The chubby-cheeked ranger plopped down next to Changkyun, their hips pressed together, body heat warming each other up. 

For a moment, sitting like this, neither spoke. 

“Is it your head again?”

Changkyun smiled weakly and laughed a little. “It’s always my head.” giving the tiniest hint of a sly grin, he lifted his hand and tapped the usual spot. “Right there.”

Jooheon didn’t have the heart to continue on. Nor did he know how to. Another long moment of silence reigned, expectant silence, unsure silence.

“Jooheonie, I’m dying.”

[squeemcsquee]

Anime Iowa 2019: Saturday

Saturday started off with a filling breakfast, compliments of Comfort Inn. I sorta miss the days of being able to run around on almost no food during a con, but I have learned that I get super hangry anymore if I try. So I loaded up!

Side note, I think hotels have really stepped up their breakfast offerings over the years. I don’t remember having options like this as a kid unless it was a higher-class business hotel that we’d occasionally stay in for my dad’s employer’s “employee getaway” weekends.

After breakfast, it was time to get into cosplay. And this is when I realized I’m getting a bit hooked on cosplaying at cons. On Friday, I’d stuck purely to regular, comfy clothes. And I had told myself that I’d packed “regular” stuff for Sat/Sun, in case I didn’t feel up to cosplaying...then I looked at what I’d actually packed. Every single clothing item was black. Because my cosplay options were the Impala and Night Vale Scout. So, unless I was gonna just be a Goth kid all weekend, I sorta boxed myself into cosplay, lol.

I tried out some anti-possession temporary tattoos I’d gotten from Wish. They looked amazing, but the smell... I don’t think it ever completely vanished that day. I’d get a whiff every time I moved my arms. They smelled heavily like those thick permanent markers in the metal bodies. 

Still, I was happy with the results.

Once I was ready to go, it was off to the con!

We started with “A Day In The Life of A Voice Actor” with Morgan Berry and Sarah Wiedenhoff. 

It was definitely entertaining, but I was wishing I’d had more coffee with breakfast. The room temperature and the quietness of the panel crowd were just enough to make me feel sleepy. I think that’s a common issue though, with panels right at the start of the con day. 

After that, @lechevaliermalfet and I split up. I headed over to the Hyatt to attend “The Story Behind Violet’s Eyes” while he attended a panel in the con center. When I arrived for my panel, there were a few hiccups before it began - a communication goof with the hotel meant that the room had not been unlocked until right at panel time. The hotel was under the mistaken impression that no one would be using the room until 1800, though there were panels scheduled off and on all day. So it took our host a couple minutes to get his notes organized, etc. No problem - it happens. 

“The Story Behind Violet’s Eyes” was interesting, though I do think perhaps the panelist could have benefited from a visual aid. It was a discussion of Violet Evergarden and PTSD representation in anime. Our panelist was from the podcast Trash Pandas Watch Anime. I haven’t checked the podcast out yet, though I intend to.

From there, I wandered and people-watched a bit. But I think Anime Iowa really suffered from their location being simply too big for a small con like theirs (approx 3k people). This was an event center clearly intended for events easily triple the size, and so I felt like I kept missing cosplayers/people because the halls often felt so empty. So I didn’t get the number of cosplay photos I expected. It also meant I didn’t even touch video gaming or tabletop, once we discovered were they were - the size of the rooms made the offerings seem sparse and the atmosphere wasn’t as welcoming. I don’t blame the con - I think it was just because of the location.

So I gave up and ran back to the hotel for lunch/relaxation. Thanks to losing track of time, I ended up not attending the concert I’d wanted to check out and instead went to Right Stuf’s panel with @lechevaliermalfet.

We got 2 awesome pieces of news at that panel, imo.

@lechevaliermalfet​ is the one who introduced me to El Hazard and I really enjoyed it, so the idea of upgrading our copy is excellent. 

I never finished Zetsubou Sensei after I was introduced to it, but I would love to do so one day. This seems like I’ll have the perfect excuse to get my own copy and do just that :)

Right Stuf ended the panel with prize drawings and here came the highlight of the weekend for us: @lechevaliermalfet actually won the grand prize!

That lovely box is the Mobile Suit Gundam Wing Collector's Ultra Edition Blu-Ray set. And yeah, it’s impressive. I’ve never seen Gundam Wing, but @lechevaliermalfet has and I suspect we’ll be watching it together soon.

After that, we had some time before our next panel, which was Greg Ayres’ “It Gets Better” event. We actually arrived only a couple minutes late, but we didn’t get into until 20-30 minutes had passed. See, every panel room at Anime Iowa had two entries - but the panel signs and the staff members were only at the “primary” doors for each room. For Greg Ayres, unbeknownst to us and a few other attendees, they closed the main door, which was then locked from the outside. A staffer was at the secondary door to let people in, but there was no signage. And this didn’t appear to have been communicated to other staffers, either - @lechevaliermalfet went to get someone from the info desk, who was just as baffled as we all were. 

Once inside, however, the panel was just as uplifting and empowering as always.

Our next event of the day was “AMV After Dark” which was the AMV contest for 18+ entries. There were only 4 videos, so after the initial voting, we just sat and reviewed previous years’ entries. 

Is this something other cons do? I haven’t been to enough AMV contests to know, but I have to say I like the idea of an 18+ option. 

Obviously, we couldn’t take photos of the actual AMVs, so I just have this quick shot of the screen setup for the event. Given the small number of attendees, this setup worked out quite well. 

And then it was on to J. Michael Tatum’s 18+ panel. Y’all, whether you know who this man is or not, this is the best 18+ voice actor event I’ve been to so far, hands-down. Why?

Well, because the rules are simple: No BS basic questions. Go for the jugular. 

Oh, and be prepared to be embarrassed. See, if you want to ask a question, you have to first win a coin toss. Otherwise, JMT will ask you an embarrassing, adult-rated question. So if you aren’t prepared to embarrass yourself in front of fellow attendees, don’t raise a hand to ask a question. 

It was full of laughs and shock and just a general good time.

(As always, any photos from 18+ events that I post are from before the event starts)

After his panel, the convention center was closing and we all got kicked out. @lechevaliermalfet and I hurried back to the hotel to drop our bags and so I could ditch my license plates, though I forgot to change shoes. Which wasn’t quite as big a mistake as it could have been, but I must remember for next time.

Because we went to the rave. And loved it.

Greg Ayres is an awesome DJ. Whether it was video game music, Baby Shark (yes, really), anime tunes, or whatever...everything blended well and the energy level was high. We ended up staying for over an hour, when originally the plan was to just “check it out.” 

That was when I regretted wearing my boots, since they aren’t exactly made for dancing. But I survived.

And that was Saturday!

My Anime Iowa 2019 coverage

1) Cosplayers of Anime Iowa, Part 1

2) Cosplayers of Anime Iowa, Part 2

3) Anime Iowa 2019: Friday

4) Anime Iowa 2019: Saturday (current post)

5) Anime Iowa 2019: Sunday 

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr - Girl (Part 7)

Tumblr – Girl (series) Part 1  Part 8

Masterlist

Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: back to the roots. Word Count: 2.056 Warnings: panic attack, angst, depression, mental illness, self doubt, swearing, maybe implied rape, some fluff

Notes: soooo, here it is, part 7. it took me a while, but here it is, ih hope you like it!

Thanks again to @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki for the awesome beta-reading, you are a precious piece of human being.

Enjoy Part 7!

Your POV:

The moment you opened your tumblr-inbox you knew you were the worst kind of friend somebody could have. There were loads of messages, every day a new one, after all this time Dmitri still didn’t give you up, the last message was just a day old. Sure they got shorter with the time, but he still checked up on you every day. You decided to read every message, every single one, you didn’t want him to invest time for nothing, you wanted that every single line he wrote was at least read. You started with the first one, it came in 3 and a half weeks ago. You smiled, it sounded just like always, you missed Dmitri, just by reading the first few lines you felt this trust you always shared with Dmitri.

“Hey Y/N,

I’m sure you have loads of things to do, so I won’t bother you. I just wanted to check up on you quickly. So how is university going and how are you? Here there isn’t a lot going on, just usual stuff. :)

Looking forward to hearing from you

Dmitri”

Two days later there was another text, it sounded more worried.

“Hey lovely,

You haven’t answered since a few days, are you okay? Is there some issue with your phone or something like that? But you surely know that you can read messages from the computer, do you? Yeah, at least when you read this you will know, please write me, Y/N. What’s up in your life? Has something important happened? You see, so many questions, you will have days of work to answer all of them. ;)

Love,

Dmitri”

There were tears in your eyes when you read that, that was just a few days after you were released from the hospital after your breakdown. You could just have told him everything, he was there, it wasn’t like this stupid girls in you university said, there was somebody caring about you. Without looking at the other messages, you didn’t count them, but there were a lot of them you opened a blank message

“My dear Dmitri,

I am so sorry I did this to you, I was an egoistic, stupid girl. But I’m okay, I think. I’m here, I’m alive. Maybe that’s the most important for you to know. I’m still here and I’m still fighting against the demons chasing me, I would be a traitor to Sam, Dean and Cass if I just stopped, wouldn’t I. It would be like giving up, I couldn’t do this to them, ether to the brothers nor to the actors, they put all their life into this fight against mental illness, I just can’t give up, even if they don’t know me, my problems, my life, but I can’t do it. Long story short, I’m still alive and I’m here on tumblr again.

I’m so sorry I let you down and I totally understand if you want me to stop writing to you, now you know I’m okay. I’ve put you through a lot of shit, I feel so bad about it but I hope you can forgive me.

Just shoot me a short message, if you could do me this last favour before stop writing. I know it’s hard, but please, please, forgive me the shit I’ve put your through.

Love,

Y/N”

You stopped for a short moment, stared out of the window for a while. You didn’t expect him to forgive you, you put him through at least 3 weeks of total horror, but you had to try and fix things. When you focussed your eyes back at the text and before you could delete the whole message you hit the >send< -button. Then you got back in bed, cried and read the remaining texts he sent you during your absence.

Mishas POV

Jensen stayed the whole night, impossible for him to sleep well, but he stayed, he let me curl up next to him and I really enjoyed not being alone. Although I was awake at 6 o’clock, I silently got up to give Jensen some space to get himself just a little bit of sleep before the convention starts. I took some clothes and went in the bathroom to get a hot shower; I had to look acceptable today if I want the fans to not notice my condition. When I turned on the water and waited for it to get warm I looked at myself in the mirror, Jensen was right; the dark shadows under my eyes were not to miss. When we were filming, this wasn’t too bad, they just put more make-up on but at a con? I never wore make-up at a con.

After the shower and drying myself I looked through my bag with all the toiletries and luckily found some kind of concealer to put on, it wasn’t perfect but it was better than nothing. I looked at me once again and was more or less content with my appearance. Then I put on a t-shirt with our Love-Print and simple blue Jeans.  When I came out of the bathroom Jensen was still sleeping peacefully, I took my phone off the nightstand and checked my social accounts, answered some tweets and played some games to keep myself busy. When I checked the time I realized it was time to wake Jensen, so he had enough time to take a shower before attending the convention. I gently rubbed his shoulder. “Jensen, wake up.” He slowly started to stir and groaned “Not now.” I smiled. “You won’t get any breakfast if you won’t get up now.” I teased. He stirred once again and opened his eyes. “Okay, okay, I’m up” he said and rolled his eyes. “How are you?” he asked me once he sat up in my bed. “I’m good, I guess. Better than yesterday anyways. Thanks for having my back.” I smiled then I stood up and took a bottle of water from the desk. “You have 20 minutes left until breakfast.”

After breakfast there was some time left which I spent in the green room with Rich, Rob and the band, while Jensen and Jared did their J2 panel. Today was Sunday, so a lot of the other actors were still asleep because they didn’t have a panel and they had a long night yesterday. Rich was sleeping on a couch next to me and Rob was playing some soft songs to get into the day. I enjoyed the silent sound of Rob’s guitar and him humming some tunes.

Soon the band had to go on stage to play goodbye to J2 and I knew it would soon be time for my solo-panel and to be honest I was petrified, but on the other hand it had always went well until now. So when Rob started to sing “Angel”, the song they picked for my entrance I took a deep breath, put on a smile and stepped on the stage. Jensen gave me a wink, pulled me in a hug and whispered “You can do this, I’ll be there if you need me.” Then he waved the crowd, put his hand on his heart-side of his breast and left the stage.

The panel went by without complication, the fans were nice as always, they told me amazing stories how they loved the show or Castiel, they gave me so much love, and as one girl told me that we, Jared, Jensen and I literally saved her life I couldn’t hold it together longer, tears welled up in my eyes and I heard the “Ohh”s and “Awww”s from the crowd. I wiped the tears away and suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and heard the fans yelling. I quickly turned my head to see who was there, even if I knew it already. Jensen smiled at me while resting his hand on my shoulder. He took the mic and turned to the fan who told his story “I listened to your story backstage and I just couldn’t stay back there” he said. “You have to know you mean so much to us, we are so glad we have you having our back and we often hear your storys, I don’t know how I deserve you awesome bunch of people, but you have to know that we have your back as well.” He gave me some time to calm down a bit and I nodded to the things he said. “I couldn’t have said that better.” I said and turning to the fan, who spoke I said “I’m so glad you kept fighting…” a tear rolled down my cheek “and look at all those people, every single one here is part of our family, every single one, including Jensen and me and of course the whole cast backstage has your back.” I smiled when Jensen gave me a light squeeze and I saw the band coming on stage. “That was a perfect closing for this panel, and it’s true, everyone in here is freaking awesome, I’m proud to be part of this family.” Rich said and smiled towards Jensen and me. I waved the crowd, showed them the heart sign with my hands and left the stage together with Jensen.

“You did so well out there.” Jensen said and patted my shoulder “Thanks. And thanks for saving me” I said back and sat next to him on a couch in the green room as my mobile phone buzzed. I quickly looked at the display and… what… no… I freezed when I saw the notification coming from my tumblr-app. That couldn’t be true…  “What happened?” Jensen asked worried. I couldn’t speak. No.. That had to be a bad joke… “Y/N… I… I just g-got a message from her. Tumblr just gave me a notification.” I started shivering slightly. “You think it’s a good idea to read it?” he asked. “Now? You know you have to get on the stage again in a few minutes.” He was truly worried. “Yeah.. But I can’t just go out there and ignore it.” I answered unlocking the phone. “I have to. I need to know what happened.” I said while opening the text. “Okay.” He just said and watched me while I waited for tumblr to open the inbox.

I read through the text once, twice, three times. She was okay, I couldn’t believe it, she was alive, she didn’t say why she stopped writing, just that she was there again. I didn’t know what to do now, obviously she expected me to hate her for doing this, for not writing me. She kind of told me that I saved her, how could I hate her for that? I turned my eyes to Jensen and gave him the phone so he could read the message as well. He quickly read through it and a smile appeared on his face. “So she is okay, isn’t that a good thing?” he said giving me my phone back. “It is, but she thinks I hate her for doing this to me, but I don’t, Jensen.” He smiled. “I know, buddy, just tell her. Tell her that you are glad to hear from her again, that you are happy to know that she is okay, that you will be here for her although her absence, tell her that her friendship is more important to you than this absence. Tell her just like you told me. Do you remember? When I held his secrets from all of you, when I had this hard time? You never judged, you just said you will be there, always, and you are. Just tell her that, because I see that you care about her, just like you care about us.“ he said and I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder. “Thanks, Jensen. What would I do without you?”

I planned to reply after the last panel, when I had enough time to find the right words, I already knew vaguely what I wanted to say and one thing I also knew was that I couldn’t go through such a time again, I had to meet Y/N, I had to get to knew her, I didn’t know how, but I knew I had to.  

Part 8

Tag-List (I hope I got everyone!):

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