#these next few moons are gonna just be filler

[we-are-dogclan]

Moon 72 - Yearning

(long time no see)

[godsfavdarling]

taking away all your pain

pairing: Spencer Reid x Elle Greenaway

summary: Elle and Spencer continue their friends with benefits affair.

list of chapters, also available on wattpad and Ao3, my masterlist

previous chapter --- next chapter

warnings: addiction, drugs, smut, angst, phone sex, mention of injury, nightmares, ptsd, time jumps (s3/s5)

words: 4k

a/n: Kind of a filler chapter. I’m not gonna lie, I was struggling a bit. I know where I want to go with the story, but I’m unsure about the road there. Also, I wrote the smut while at church on a job. Do with that information what you want.

Spencer knocked on Elle's door, his heart drumming in his chest with anticipation. 

It had been a few weeks since he had seen her, and as luck would have it, the team had a case in California. He told them he’d visit his mom, since Vegas was not far away, and assured them he’d be back next week. It was the truth, but before he went to Vegas, he stopped by San Diego to see Elle.

He took a taxi to a street not quite in the center of the city but also not in the suburbs. Her location was pretty good - convenient and unassuming. She lived in a small one-floor apartment in a building complex. The walls were probably painted an off-white shade originally, but they now seemed covered in dirt and grime. He had to take an outdoor flight of stairs to reach the second floor where she lived.

When Elle opened the door, she greeted him with a warm smile and stepped aside to let him in.

“Missed you,” Spencer whispered as he stepped in, his lips brushing against her ear.

“Missed you too,” Elle replied, pulling his face down to grant him a deep kiss that silenced any further conversation.

Their time together was always like this – intense and consuming. 

They spent the nights lost in each other, bodies entwined. If they were lucky enough to spend more time together, the mornings were no different. 

Most of their time was spent in bed, sometimes on the couch or in the shower, always together, always naked. For a few precious hours, they shut out reality. 

All that was left were their moans filling the room, the mingling scent of their bodies, the warmth of their breath on each other's skin, the sweat dampening their flesh, and the rhythmic thrum of their hearts, beating just a bit faster than when they were apart.

Eventually, they drifted off to sleep, exhaustion finally overtaking them. 

But Spencer's rest was restless. 

He woke up, heart pounding, drenched in sweat from a nightmare he couldn't quite remember. Disoriented, he glanced at the clock. He had been asleep for maybe an hour.

Elle was not beside him. 

He reached out to the empty space where she should have been, the sheets cool to the touch. Concerned, he got up and moved quietly through the apartment. He found her in the living room, sitting on the couch, staring at the wall.

"Elle?" he called softly, not wanting to startle her.

She didn't turn immediately but eventually looked over her shoulder at him. Her eyes were distant, lost in some thought.

"Hey," he said gently, moving closer. "You okay?"

She studied him for a moment before responding, her gaze softening slightly. "Are you okay? You’re drenched in sweat."

"I just had a nightmare. The usual," he admitted, running a hand through his damp hair. "Can't sleep?"

Elle paused for a second, her brow furrowing slightly. "Yeah."

"Something going on?" Spencer pressed, his concern deepening as he took in her troubled expression.

"No, just can't sleep," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. She glanced toward the window, where the silver glow of the full moon spilled into the room. "I think it's the moon. It's full tonight."

Spencer sat down next to her, the couch cushions shifting under his weight. "You know, there's a lot of stuff about the full moon affecting people," he began, his voice a mix of curiosity and distraction. 

"Some say it messes with our sleep cycles, makes us more restless. There are all these studies about how more accidents happen during a full moon, more hospital admissions, even more births. It's like the moon pulls at us, just like it pulls at the tides."

Elle turned to look at him, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips despite her lingering unease. "Have you ever considered you might know too much?"

"Maybe I've read too much," he chuckled softly, the sound a welcome break in the quiet room. "But it's fascinating, right? How something so far away can have such an impact on us. Maybe it’s just folklore or maybe there's some truth to it. I mean, people have believed in the moon's power for centuries. There’s something... beautiful about it."

She nodded, her eyes reflecting the moonlight as she listened. "Yeah, I guess there is."

He reached out, taking her hand in his, their fingers intertwining. "Wanna talk about it?"

Elle squeezed his hand gently, her grip warm but trembling slightly. "About what?"

Her eyes were distant, as if she were searching for words to make sense of the chaos swirling in her mind. 

The memories from her past were like dark, shadowy specters, vivid and relentless. Each time she closed her eyes, the scenes replayed with haunting clarity: the sounds, the faces, the overwhelming sense of fear. 

The nightmares weren't just dreams; they were jagged fragments of her past, cutting through her waking hours and leaving her feeling… exposed and raw.

She struggled to maintain her composure, her heart racing as she tried to push away the images that refused to fade. 

The night seemed endless, the full moon casting eerie shadows that only intensified her feelings of unease. Her trauma felt like cold fingers gripping her mind, trapping her in a cycle of anxiety she couldn’t escape.

Despite the constant state of anxiety, Elle rarely mentioned her struggles to Spencer. 

When he visited, their time together was so limited that she preferred to avoid discussing any of the painful realities of her life. 

She wanted to handle herself by herself. 

She wanted to manage her demons without burdening him. 

She wanted to keep herself together and through it on her own. 

Yet, sitting with him, in the moonlit room, struggling to keep her fear at bay, she was thankful. 

For him. 

Being here. 

“I just can’t sleep,” Elle said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. The effort to keep her tone steady was almost more than she could manage. 

“I missed you,” she added, her voice soft and filled with a genuine, aching sincerity. She looked up at him, her eyes full of longing. “Just... having you here… I’m glad you’re here.”

Spencer's gaze was gentle and understanding, but he didn’t press for more. Instead, he simply wrapped his arm around her, offering silent comfort as they sat together in the moonlit quiet. 

The room was still, save for the soft rustle of the night, and peace that helped to soothe the tumult within her.

“I missed you too,” Spencer whispered. “And I’m glad I’m here”

------------------------------------

Spencer had been wrestling with a relentless craving for Dilaudid for weeks now. 

He had been clean for a while, but the memory of a young face - pale and lifeless - haunted him, a constant reminder of his inability to save everyone. The image replayed in his mind like a cruel loop, each repetition feeding his desperation and dragging him deeper into the threat of his addiction.

The nights were a constant battleground of conflicting desires. 

He wanted to escape the guilt and frustration that gnawed at him, to numb the pain and the sense of failure that clung to him. The pull of the drug was strong, a powerful force that promised a temporary reprieve from the agony of his thoughts. 

But he knew all too well how fleeting that relief would be, how quickly it would turn into shackles around his soul.

In an effort to manage the growing urge, Spencer had started attending Beltway Clean Cops meetings. 

The idea was to surround himself with others who understood the struggles of working in law enforcement while battling addiction. He hoped this would help. That hearing their stories, sharing his own, and being with those who walked a similar path might provide some solace, or at least distract him from the cravings that plagued him.

As he stood outside the meeting room, the dim light from the corridor flickered in his tired eyes. The walls seemed to close in on him, the weight of his dilemma pressing heavily on his chest. 

He pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he found Elle’s number. 

His finger hovered over the call button, hesitating. They were just friends, who had sex sometimes, but still just friends. And he wasn’t sure what calling her would achieve. 

What could she do from California to help him in this moment of crisis? 

There’s nothing she could do. 

With a frustrated sigh, he shoved the phone back into his pocket and took a deep breath. 

The meeting was about to start. He squared his shoulders and walked through the door.

As he took his seat, he tried to push away the gnawing need for relief, focusing instead on the faces around him and the hope that, perhaps, here he might find a small piece of peace.

------------------------------------

Spencer’s visits to Elle had followed a familiar rhythm for years now. Every few weeks or months, he would show up and their time together would be a whirlwind of intensity - passionate nights spent together, their bodies intertwined, and then the inevitable departure. 

No strings attached, just moments of escape and solace amidst the chaos of their lives. They kept in touch through calls and texts, but their relationship remained defined by the brief, intense nights they shared.

However, the routine was interrupted one day when Spencer was shot. The incident happened right before he was scheduled to visit Elle. 

The pain was acute, and the hospital room was a stark contrast to the comfort of Elle’s presence he had been looking forward to for weeks.

Sitting in the sterile room, he shifted uncomfortably. His leg, immobilized and propped up, ached with every shift. 

Morgan had accompanied him but had stepped away for a while to handle some personal matters on the phone. The hospital room was too quiet, filled with the distant hum of medical machinery and the occasional footstep echoing in the hallway.

Spencer took out his phone, the weight of the decision pressing heavily on him. He dialed Elle’s number, his heart pounding with a mix of pain and anxiety. 

“Hey,” Spencer said when Elle answered, his voice strained and weary. He leaned back against the hospital bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. “I... I wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to come over for a while. We have to cancel next week, and I’m not sure when I'll be able to see you.”

“What happened?” Elle’s voice was sharp with concern, the worry instantly evident.

Spencer hesitated, his hand trembling slightly as he rubbed his forehead. “Oh, nothing really.”

“Spencer…”

With a deep sigh, he finally admitted, “I got shot.”

Elle’s response was immediate, her concern palpable even through the phone. “Oh my God, Spencer! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he reassured her, though his voice betrayed his discomfort. He shifted slightly, wincing as pain shot through his leg. “It’s pretty bad, though. It’s my knee. I can’t walk right now. I’m sorry, I just wanted to let you know.”

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line, and Spencer could almost hear the worry in her breath. He pictured her biting her lip, a crease forming between her brows. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do? I could come and help you.”

“No,” Spencer said gently, trying to inject some firmness into his voice. “You have a new job. You should focus on that. I’ll be okay.”

He heard her sigh, the reluctance clear in her voice. “Okay. But call me if you need anything, alright?”

“Will do. Thanks, Elle.” He hung up, a heavy feeling settling in his chest.

“Everything alright?” Morgan asked, his tone casual as he suddenly appeared in the doorway. Spencer quickly put his phone away, trying to compose himself.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, forcing a smile. “Just called the facility where my mom’s staying. Had to let her know I couldn’t visit.”

Morgan’s eyes sparkled with a mix of curiosity and concern. “You know, you’re always visiting your mom. It’s like a regular thing with you. How often do you see her?”

Spencer chuckled softly, the sound mingling with his discomfort. He shifted again, trying to ease the pain. “More often than I’d like to admit. She’s been having a rough time, and it helps to check in.”

Morgan raised an eyebrow, sympathy evident in his gaze. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll be able to visit soon.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Spencer said, glancing down at his injured knee, the bandages stark against his skin. He sighed, the weight of the situation pressing down on him.

When Spencer finally made it back home, the journey from the hospital to his apartment felt like a marathon despite the short distance. 

The cast on his leg was bulky and cumbersome, propped up on a stack of pillows on the couch. He sank into the cushions with a sigh, the discomfort of his injury mingling with the exhaustion of his ordeal.

As he settled in, his phone buzzed with a message. It was from Elle. 

Are you home already?

He tapped out a quick reply, his fingers clumsy and slow due to the pain. 

Yes, just got in. It’s good to be back.

Almost immediately, his phone rang. Elle’s name appeared on the screen. He answered, a mix of relief and longing filling him. 

“Hey,” Spencer said, trying to sound as casual as possible, though his voice was soft and strained.

“Hey,” Elle responded, her voice warm and soothing. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that I’m home,” Spencer said, glancing down at his cast. “It’s frustrating, but I’m managing. I miss you.”

There was a pause on the other end, and Spencer could almost feel her presence through the silence. “I miss you too,” Elle said softly. “and since you’re stuck at home, and I’m miles away, how about we do something a little different tonight?”

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, his curiosity piqued yet laced with confusion.

Elle’s voice dropped to a more intimate whisper, the sound sending a shiver down his spine. “I’m pretty sure you can figure it out, Doctor.”

Spencer's mind raced, trying to decipher her words and the sultry tone she used. He felt a flush rise to his cheeks, unsure how to respond. “I... I don’t know what to say to that.”

“What are you wearing?” Elle asked, her voice taking on a teasing edge.

Spencer glanced down at his clothes, feeling slightly self-conscious. “Umm... a button-up shirt and a vest. And just a pair of pants.”

“Mhm... sexy,” Elle purred.

“Thanks?” Spencer replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

“Aren't you going to ask me what I'm wearing?” Elle's voice was playful, almost daring.

“Oh, right, sorry. What are you wearing?”

“Guess!” she challenged, her voice light with mischief.

“Umm, well, you usually wear some pants, dark ones, and a shirt,” Spencer ventured, trying to picture her usual attire.

“That’s it?” she teased.

“Well, you obviously also have underwear on, and a jacket when it’s colder,” he added, feeling a bit out of his depth.

“Spencer...” Elle's voice was a blend of amusement and exasperation, a teasing lilt that sent a shiver down his spine.

“What?” Spencer's confusion was evident, his brow furrowing as he tried to grasp the situation.

“I’m trying to have phone sex with you.” Her tone was both playful and serious, the words dripping with desire.

“Oh...” Spencer's eyes widened in realization, his cheeks flushing a deep red. He felt a mix of surprise and excitement, his body responding to her suggestive words.

“If you want to, of course.”

“Yes!” he blurted out, then quickly felt a rush of embarrassment at how eager he sounded. “Umm... yes. Yes, I would like that very much. I just... umm... I've never done that before,” he added, his voice dropping to a shy whisper.

“That’s okay. Just do what I say and what feels good,” Elle reassured him, her voice soothing and seductive.

“Okay,” Spencer agreed, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Sooo... back to what I'm wearing. You’re actually extremely wrong, Doctor Reid. Must be a first for you, sorry. I’m in my bed, under the covers, with absolutely nothing on. Nude. Naked. Alone. Thinking about you. Imagining you’re here, next to me, trying to remember how you feel.”

Spencer's breath caught in his lungs. He saw her so clearly in his mind, every detail, every curve and shape. His pulse quickened, and he felt a warmth spread through him.

“If you were here, I would help you feel so much better. That leg must hurt,” Elle continued, her voice a soft caress.

“It does,” Spencer admitted, though he would never tell Elle just how much pain he was actually in. He had refused to take any narcotics to help with the pain, determined to endure it. He wanted to tell her everything, but it felt like too much, even for him.

“I think I can help with that,” Elle said softly, her voice filled with promise.

Spencer took a shaky breath, trying to calm the fluttering in his chest. “How?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Close your eyes,” Elle instructed gently. “Imagine I’m there with you, next to you. My fingers are trailing down your arm, touching you softly, making you forget all the pain.”

Spencer closed his eyes, following her words. He could almost feel her touch, light and teasing, sending shivers down his spine. “I can feel it,” he murmured.

“Good,” Elle responded, her voice a soothing balm. “Now imagine my lips, brushing against your neck, whispering how much I want you, how much I need you.”

A soft sigh escaped Spencer’s lips. He could almost hear her breath, warm and tantalizing against his skin. “Elle...” he breathed.

“Yes, Spencer?” she prompted, her voice husky and filled with longing.

“I need you,” he confessed, his voice trembling with desire.

“I’m right here,” she whispered. “Imagine my hands moving down your chest, slowly undoing each button of your shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath my fingertips.”

Spencer’s hand moved unconsciously to his chest, his fingers mimicking the actions she described. He could almost feel the gentle pressure of her hands, the heat of her touch. “It feels so real,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“I’m glad,” Elle replied, her voice filled with affection. “Now, imagine I’m kissing you, my lips soft and eager against yours, just as always, tasting you, savoring you..”

Spencer’s lips parted slightly, a soft moan escaping as he lost himself in the fantasy. He could almost taste her, sweet and intoxicating.

“Can you feel me, Spencer?” Elle’s voice was a seductive whisper, wrapping around him like a warm blanket.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice barely audible. “I can feel you.”

“I want you to touch yourself,” she instructed softly. “Pretend it’s me, making you feel good, taking away all your pain.”

Spencer’s hand trembled as it moved down his body, his breath coming in short gasps as he put his hand under his underwear and touched his already hard cock.

He followed her words, his mind filled with images of her, her touch, her scent, her everything. “Elle,” he whispered, his voice filled with longing.

“I’m here,” she reassured him, her voice a soothing presence. “I’m always here.”

He squeezed himself more urgently, his body reacting to the vivid imagery and her soothing words. The pain in his leg seemed to fade, replaced by a growing sense of pleasure. “I need you so much,” he confessed, his voice raw with emotion.

“I know,” Elle whispered. “And I need you too. Imagine me there with you, taking care of you, making you feel better.”

Spencer’s breath hitched, his body shuddering with the intensity of his feelings. He could almost feel her presence, her warmth, her love. “Elle, I...” he started, but his voice trailed off, lost in the overwhelming sensations.

He could so clearly see her delicate, slender hand, smaller than his own, stroking him slowly, teasing his tip and smearing the precum. 

She always snuggled close, her lips trailing soft kisses along his skin. 

Her body intertwined with his, moving in perfect harmony as if she knew exactly what he needed. She knew precisely how to touch him, how to drive him to the edge of insanity while giving him everything he craved.

“Now, let go,” she whispered, her voice a soft command. “Cum for me handsome,”

Spencer’s body tensed, the pleasure building to an unbearable peak. With a final, shuddering breath, he let go, his body releasing all the pent-up tension and pain. He lay back, spent and exhausted, his heart racing. He was silent for a while overwhelmed by both pleasure and the pain.

“Are you okay?” Elle asked, her voice filled with concern and love.

“Yeah,” Spencer replied, his voice weak but content. “Thank you, Elle. You are... incredible.”

“Anytime, Doctor,” she replied with a soft laugh. “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you need me.”

“Uh, Elle, wait!” Spencer's voice trembled with urgency.

“Yeah?” Elle's response was cool, almost detached, her tone a stark contrast to the warmth he once knew.

“How are you holding up?” Spencer asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.

“I’m fine,” Elle replied curtly, her tone not matching her words.

“How’s work?” Spencer prodded gently, hoping to draw her out.

“I actually recently changed it. Again.” Elle admitted, her voice carrying a hint of hesitation.

“Really? Why?” Spencer knew Elle had been exploring various career paths over the past few years, from working with the government or law enforcement as a consultant to aiding victims of sex crimes. His curiosity was piqued.

“I... got fired,” Elle confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Why?” Spencer’s concern deepened. 

“I just did, Reid. It happens,” she replied, trying to brush it off nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I know, but why would they fire you? With your experience?” Spencer pressed, bewildered.

“I might have not really... been there,” Elle muttered, her voice faltering.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, confusion lacing his words.

“Reid... it doesn’t matter. Things like that happen, I’m fine,” Elle insisted, her tone growing defensive.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Spencer’s voice was tinged with hurt, the sting of her omission clear.

“I didn’t want to bother you, Reid. It’s none of your business,” Elle snapped back, her frustration bubbling to the surface, sharp and cutting.

“None of my business? Elle, we talk almost every day. How can you say that?” Spencer’s voice rose, incredulous and wounded.

“Because it’s true!” Elle shouted, the tension in her voice unmistakable. “We’re just friends with benefits, remember? We don’t owe each other anything.”

Spencer was left speechless, his mind reeling. He finally managed, “I just care and...”

“Well, maybe you should stop caring this much. Anyway… I have to go. Bye, Spencer.” Elle’s words were cold and final, the call ending with a click that seemed to echo in the stillness of the moment.

Spencer stared at his phone. He felt a mix of anger, confusion, and a deep sadness settle in his chest. 

His mind raced, replaying the conversation over and over, trying to understand where things had gone wrong. He just wanted to reach out, ask how she’s doing.

Elle’s words had left him paralyzed, each syllable she spoke a nail pinning him down.

His heart pounded in his chest, the ache spreading through his body like a slow poison. 

Questions swirled in his mind: What had he done to deserve such coldness? Did he say something wrong? The room around him felt darker, phone still clutched in his hand.

After that day he tried calling but Elle stopped picking up his phone calls. 

[totaldramafan-lauri]

So, I....I just watched Full Moon, and....honestly....I'm not as shocked as I probably should be, cuz....I called it. MONTHS AGO, I called it. Like, as SOON as Stolas got the crystal, I called it. I knew exactly how the exchange would go. There were some cutting lines I didn't plan for, so it still hurt, but.....I'm not surprised. This is the kind of person Blitzo is, and this finally hitting him at the last second should hopefully be the wake up call he needs to start....getting over himself.

I-I still wanna do a big review of this episode like I've done with the rest of the season, but I'm still spending a lotta writing energy on my fic, so I dunno when I'm gonna spare the time. Maybe after I've rewatched a few times. I definitely wanna do it before next episode drops next month.

For now, uhhhh....sh-short review: THANK GOD the cherubs became relevant again so their debut episode wasn't completely pointless filler, Collin must be protected at all costs, D.H.O.R.K.S continue to be massive weebs, I LOVED seeing Moxxie again even if he wasn't the focus, Loona taking charge was a treat, more Blitzo and Fizz friendship was a treat, and uh....wh-what else....the song was funny, and did you know this is the first song Blitzo has been in all series? Crazy...Uh, overall, I didn't see the cherubs having THIS much screentime coming, cuz I was expecting this episode to be almost nonstop Stolitz from what was shown in the trailer....What's the episode the other Goetias gonna be in, then? I thought it was gonna be this one...

Overall, solid episode, but....sadly, nothing too surprising. I would've loved it if my expectations were subverted and we got something happier, but blegh....not gonna happen yet. At the very least, the trailer promises us that they're gonna be seeing each other again soon, so it's far from over for them...

God, I remember when I didn't care for Stolitz....seems like so long ago now....Nowadays, yeah they're a mess, but they're one of the most compelling romances I've ever seen, partly BECAUSE of how frustrating they can be, pffff....I can't look away from these two love-starved dorks....

I missed this show. That's enough for me to celebrate. <3

[lucy-the-demon]

Warrior cats, a starless clan, book 5, wind review.

As always , spoilers for the series and for this book

Review down below

So I had to read it twice because the first time I read it I was in a bad mood and I was stressed out over things at the time so it kinda went blank one, through one ear (or eye because i don't use audiobooks) and out the other

So I re read it and looked at other reviews to fully grasp what was happened

I mean your gonna have to read this book to know that's going on in the 6th book but it's a lot of Filler so I'll give you the rundown of what happens first before stating my personal opinions on the book itself

Alrighty let's get this overwith..

* cracks open a pepsi*

So the book starts with Frostpaw going to the gathering to announce splashtail is a murderer and he shouldn't be riverclans leader and starclan told her it wasn't gonna end well

In previous books her visions weren't true until she actually started getting real vision from starclan And she had admitted her visions at first weren't true before she got real visions so the other four clans don't believe her when she mentions starclan speaking to her

Which is frustrating for the reader knowing Frostpaw is telling the truth.

So they call her a liar and splashtail exiles her from Riverclan for speaking against him, so tigerstar the 2nd let's her stay in his clan and the park cats that Frostpaw brought with her stay in thunderclan

Tigerstar the next day starts a clan meeting where he wants the cats to tell him their grievances, frostpaw speaks up at the meeting telling him that her clan suffered the most from him showing up and taking control, which makes the other cats speak up, afterwards he tells her that he was nice enough to let her stay but she tells him it was her clan who suffered and not his where he respects her for being strong and speaking her mind and afterwards she asks if she can sneak off to Riverclan tigerstar 2 tells her she can but she can't bring his warriors with her.

She accepts this than spies on the Riverclan camp where splashtail is doing battle training and finds out he hasn't gotten his nine lives yet, Mothwing catches her but doesn't say anything and goes to a spot away from the clan where they talk about how splashtail is running the clan. Mothwing admitting she doesn't like how his rule is going and when they talk about him getting his 9 lives Frostpaw gives the idea that hes gonna push it off until the other cats just accept it. Which scares Mothwing about starclan abandoning Riverclan making them 'a starless clan' as the title implies

So in sunbeams pov a few chapters later sunbeam and nightheart see a windclan patrol and breezepelt tells her that he saw berryheart and the other two near the windclan border and that berryheart looked bad which worries sunbeam. So she asks her leader, squirrelstar, if she can see if her family is okay, squirrelstar allows her but don't get caught.

Meanwhile on the half moon medicine cat meeting, frostpaw goes with shadowsight and puddleshine to the moonpool where the other cats question if she should stay but overall lets her stay podlight and mothwing show up and theirs a short argument between Frostpaw and podlight over whos the true medicine cat and podlight admits that splashtail hasn't been taken to the moonpool to revive his lives, to the dismay of the others But it ends shortly so they can visit starclan at the moonpool.

Frostpaw sees a vision of a shadow looming over the lake and the water draining which implies that splashtail is going to destroy Riverclan to the reader, but in-universe skyclan and Riverclan and windclan med cats dismiss this vision as Frostpaw is the reason for the destruction, where the other medicine cats take it seriously and say " if it was fake why would she make herself the shadow in Riverclan" (not the graphic novel)

Sunbeam visits her mom and sees she got a nasty cut on some glass and it's getting infected and later when she gets back nightheart is keeping watch for the medicine cats while sunbeam is getting herbs to help her mom. When alderheart and Jayfeather come back sunbeam tells him to stall them, where nightheart asks them about Frostpaw, which makes the med cats and him talk about the vision she got with squirrelstar, so squirrelstar and nightheart go to shadowclan

They talk about the vision and what Frostpaw saw while spying on Riverclan which makes them worried about where this was going

The next few chapters Frostpaw and puddleshine hide in a bush at the moonpool to see if splashtail went to the nine lives ceremony, he comes with podlight and they mock the ceremony unknowingly in front of the two med cats. Splashtail saying " if we see reedwhisker again I could kill him a second time" while the two mock the ceramony with no intention of actually doing it riverstar jumps out of the moonpool over the two toms and looks at frostpaw and puddleshine

The two toms joking about the ceremony don't notice him at all even as he jumped over their heads, while Frostpaw and puddleshine see him clearly and know that podlight is a fake medicine cat.

The next chapter ( I think) sunbeam gives the herbs to her mom and berryheart refuses, so sunbeams dad and brother say they'll put it in her prey to make her eat it. Sunbeams brother telling her she will need a medicine cat soon to prevent her from dying as her wound has gotten worse. Sunbeam makes a plan to get her mom to Jayfeather and alderheart in 3 days

But she gets caught by a windclan patrol as she goes home and has to stay in their camp for the night and so the next day squirrelstar is about to punish her before tigerstar 2 shows up and tells them about what frostpaw and puddleshine saw and squirrelstar wants to wait until they have windclans side because leafstar refused to hear tigerstar 2 and the med cats out

After tigerstar 2 and the shadowclan patrol leaves squirrelstar punishes sunbeam by not allowing her out of camp and to do apprentice duties. Which Sunbeam is upset knowing she can't help her mom get to a med cat in 3 days like she promised her brother she would

So 3 days later she asks nightheart if he could help them and he does but they didn't show up, nightheart says something like" it's probably because it's me" because y'know berryheart is a Karen who hates the fact her daughter loves nightheart a thunderclan cat while her daughter was shadowclan and shes bitter because she's a Karen

So anyways harestar( windclan ) says they'll think on their decision and when the gathering comes Frostpaw calls out how he mocked starclan at the 9 lives ceramony and splashtail ignored her and calls her a liar, where tigerstar 2 calls it out as well and they ask what harestars decision is and he's on splashtails side which crushes Frostpaw, and after the gathering two riverclan cats on Frostpaws side tell her they plan on turning more cats against splashtail which gives her hope.

And waffle becomes a thunderclan apprentice and becomes wafflepaw along with bristlekit, greykit and stem kit getting their apprentice names.

That night Frostpaw has a vision that a tree is going to crush the windclan nursery so she starts to go to windclan

Sunbeam is finally able to leave the camp again and is hunting with her patrol when a storm starts to come, they go into a bush and see frostpaw going through the territory she tells them she has to go to windclan and leaves to go to the border soon after going into the bush for shelter.

The patrol come back to the camp and Sunbeam and nightheart are working on securing the elders den putting branches up to help the elders from being cold.

Meanwhile Frostpaw sees a windclan patrol and tells them she needs to see kestrelflight the cats constantly shrug her off rudely until she tells them her vision of the windclan nursery getting crushed from a tree, since they don't have trees nearby they basically call her stupid but bring the med cat so she'll leave. Kestrelflight shrugs her vision off too, and Frostpaw instead of going back to shadowclan runs to thunderclan where she tells squirrelstar about her vision and gets help from nightheart and sunbeam

As they run to windclan lightning strikes a tree and a large chunk it it starts flying towards windclan and then crushes the nursery, whistlepaw trying to get in to save her sister leafkit with some work Frostpaw gets whistlepaw to get out and she does and has wounds.

They move enough branches for Sunbeam to get in and she rescues leafkit and gets her back to her mom unscathed

After a while of helping in the medicine den, kestrelflight apologies for how she acted to Frostpaw and forgives whistlepaw for lying to the clan that Frostpaw died seeing now why she did it And harestar finally believes Frostpaw has real visions and is the true medicine cat for Riverclan.

The day after they get back to their clans tigerstar talks to squirrelstar about the recent news with windclan and how they can't fight unless Riverclan takes action and Frostpaw plans to spy on them so nightheart and sunbeam offer to join her which she accepts

And wafflepaw tells nightheart how he let wasp go to Riverclan and the cats are freaking out, until Riverclan rudely gives back wasp and threatens them with violence if they catch another cat spying and wasp decides to go back to the park

So Frostpaw, Sunbeam and nightheart have to be careful to not get caught so they go the path through windclan and spy on Riverclan

Splashtail having cats use their claws on each other and it turns out mothwing, icewing and duskfur left Riverclan after they stood up against him and splashtail wants to kill them. Harelight asks him if he's being too harsh and splashtail kills him in front of their clanmates. Turns out berryheart joined Riverclan and splashtail makes her their deputy To the spying cats horror.

So now Frostpaw has to find the 3 missing cats before splashtail kills them too

And that's how the book ends

Actual review

So I kinda find it funny how berryheart is becoming the very thing she swore to destroy. And her being so hateful to other clans caused her to also want to be hateful to shadowclan. She's literally " you either die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain"

I forgot to mention but in the prologue splashtail says in his inner dialogue that he won't get his 9 lives because he thinks he shouldn't have starclans blessing, I think that will make him easier to get rid of than he thinks

And I doubt berryheart is going to become leader next book I think she's gonna die before she even thinks about it

So you know how curlfeather died to save frostpaw

Well I think berryheart gonna die saving Sunbeam

Remember how In the broken code bristlefrost saved rootspring from drowning and how at the end she died saving shadowsight?

And about who's gonna be riverclans leader, either mothwing, Frostpaw or bee.

Mothwing is My least favorite choice because she's cannonically an atheist and how she feels happy to be a medicine cat I feel like it would ruin her character

In thunder bee had visions about being near a bunch of cats they didn't recognize and perhaps that means he will be leader to Riverclan

And Frostpaw becoming leader sounds like a stretch but perhaps bee comes to Riverclan after berryheart and splashtail are dead and makes Frostpaw the leader without her needing a warrior name Because riverstar seems to have been giving her lessons on being a leader, and she seems much more like a leader as the books have gone on. The only issue is if she is going to become leader, who will she meet at the 9 lives ceramony? Not a lot of people in her life has died for it to make up 9 cats.

I guess we'll just have to wait till November when the book comes out

The only issue here is that the book feels frustrating knowing that Frostpaw is right and that the cats who are on splashtails side are wrong. It's a little frustrating to read and it makes you feel like these cats are stupid despite the fact it makes sense considering she acknowledged she used to have fake visions.

Of course they wouldn't believe her but it's still frustrating

And leafstar uncharacteristically is on splashtails side, despite often being on the side of the good Guys, I get it they needed conflict but idk.. I hope next book she realizes splashtail is the bad guy because jeez this isn't in character leafstar..

That's it bye..

[chimkin-samich]

I really enjoyed Clouds so far and was thinking how it could become even angstier, like, the boys continuing to have romantic dreams every night, waking up to cold reality every morning, yearning to live in that dream fantasy instead but also not because, like, it's not real which makes it hurt even more. Or even a chapter focused on Pax where she is the one having to wake up from her own dream, them all experiencing the same thing without even realizing.

But then it also popped into my mind that it would be some absolute foolishness if just deadass the next night after all of this drama they once again have a romantic dream but dialed up to 11 on the spice factor, then wake up once again when it's uh, about to get "good". Just the hilarity of it like "oh for fucks sake" upon waking up for the both of them just seems so fucking funny to me. I wonder if they'd just be tired from the last time or if it'd become a debacle even worse. Let's just hope it happens to Moon this time bc I don't think Sunny could handle a do-over on hard mode so soon after lmao (pun intended 🤡)

Welllll you aren’t wrong that it does become a more common experience for ALL of them 😭 but your also fueling Ferals angst brain with this

Our next focus is still on the table but will honestly most likely be Moon since Eclipse hasn’t been established or awakened at this point yet. But we’re gonna try not to do long ass comics again cuz it honestly killed Ferals brain and hand but who knows knowing her it might happen again lmao

We’re just trying to flesh out this storyline as fluid and naturally as possible, so it’s going to be a combination of comics mainly from Feral, some meme or stupid comics in between as fillers and content and also some Drabbles

As of now I am working on a one-shot of Eclipses emergence but it’s still in the works so I’m not to sure wether I’ll post it some time this week or in the next few but we’ll still post other stuff

Can’t leave y’all wanting when we have so much we want to do 👀

[definitelynotciara]

six: hair and makeup

masterlist • previous • next

“Honestly,” our director, Chiba Airi started to speak, “You guys are such a famous cast our pilot is just gonna be our first episode. I mean it’s so easy to draw in an audience because of you all.” She said, laughing. “Thanks for making my job easier.” as if she isn’t a famous director with some of the best movies made under her watchful eye.

“If you checked your schedule, you’ll see when you’ll be needed for filming. Please come on time. We only need a few of the leads right now, Athena, that’s you Kiyoko, and Akira, Oikawa. I believe just we’ll start off with the younger versions of the twins and then continue from there. But first, everyone go to hair and makeup, then costumes. Make it quick everyone there’s a lot to do today.”

So I walked over with Kiyoko and Yachi to get into our hair and makeup. The amount of sfx was insane. I was given a scar running down my eye, which now had a contact lens on it to make me seem half blind. My outfit was a baggy white button up with black slacks and a harness. They gave me a fake tattoo that looked like a moon on my back. (Free reign for what you want to do with your hair)

Yachi was given small double buns, they said it was to represent her character being seemingly innocent. Her character wore a red button up with a black vest and black pleated skirt. She has a sun tattoo on her neck to represent Soleil.

Kiyoko, being the leader of Lune had her hair half up and half down, in an elegant fashion (its a wig). She took the longest to get ready. (idrk how to explain her hair so heres a pic taken off of pinterest) Kiyoko’s outfit was a silver kimono and her makeup was geisha inspired. She had the same fake tattoo I did on her hand.

(i love kiyoko)

After we were done with hair and makeup, and we got into our costumes. I left the room and walked over to the boys, who looked relaxed on the couches. (They probably finished ages ago.)

Tooru had a very expensive black suit and turtleneck on (he said it came from his closet and he had a spare so he didn’t mind using it for the show. Atsumu was so pissed.)

Atsumu was wearing a dark red button up with black slacks, the first few buttons of his shirt left undone showing the sun tattoo on his chest.

Sakusa was wearing a dark red button up with a harness and black slacks. His tattoo was on his back, not currently visible. They gave him a fake eyebrow piercing.

Osamu had a tight black button up and slacks, two small silver earrings on each ear. His sleeves were rolled up and you could see his moon tattoo on his forearm.

Suna was wearing a black wife beater and ripped black baggy jeans. He was given tattoos on his neck and his moon tattoo was on his upper arm.

—

to make this easier for everyone (including myself)

soleil: Tooru/Akira, Yachi/Clementine, Atsumu/Liam, Sakusa/Touma

lune: Kiyoko/Athena, Venus/Ceres, Osamu/Leon, Suna/Kou

—

sry sry kind of a filler chapter ikik

ty for reading anyways <3

also i gave the director a name LMAO shes completely fake like thats an oc and shes kind of unimportant but okay enough yapping

NOW WHAT DO THOSE TATTOOS LOOK LIKE THO

[incorrectbatfam]

canonically, how are each member of the batfam these days? I don't keep up with the comics because it's a mess and the characterization varies so much (especially Dami)

As of 8/2/2022

(spoilers ahead)

Bruce, Dick, Tim, Steph, Cass, Duke, Babs, and Selina all appeared in Batman #126, which just came out today. So far the storyline about piecing together the Penguin's lineage, including an introduction to two new members of the Cobblepot family. This specific issue did a good job of showcasing how the batfamily works together in an intense fight against Failsafe, however, the battle takes up a large chunk of the story—I give that part a 7/10 because Failsafe wasn't exactly the most compelling antagonist and the fight was a bit out of the blue. The focus also did lean more heavily on Dick than the other batkids. However, Selina's concurrent story with piecing together the Penguin's family made up for that as we uncover a new dimension to a long-time Batman villain. The expected release date for the next issue is September 6th, so hopefully they can clean it up a little then.

Jason appeared in Task Force Z #10 on July 26th. Jason and what remains of the team after the previous 9 issues are investigating Power Industries, where in a HUGE twist, they discover that Bane was Nobody the entire time (yes, the Nobody). The artwork fits the tone of the story and Jason's characterization has been pretty good, sort of on par with Urban Legends. I thought this was gonna be a filler issue so I was pleasantly surprised when they just jumped right into the main point. Also, I love seeing Jason's dynamic with Amanda Waller and other villains because it reinforces the fact that he's not 100% good or bad (as fandom likes to polarize him as)—he's versatile and can get along with people all over the moral spectrum. The projected release date for the next issue is 8/23.

Meanwhile, Damian's latest appearance was in Robin #16, which came out on July 26th, where Lord Death Man (yes, that weirdo) puts Damian's investigation into the Lazarus Island on pause. Flatline then calls Damian and Connor Hawke to Tokyo to deal with Lord Death Man, so we get a bit of international traveling bits. Mara Al Ghul and the Batman of Japan also appear in this, if you wanna count them as batfam? I like that this balances the sharper edges of Damian's personality with the classic Robin charm and I do kind of wish the series wasn't ending (alas, DC won't allow its characters to grow up). I also like that the setting of this story influences the artwork—you can see the subtle manga influences. Next issue comes out on 8/23. Overall I give this run an 8/10 because it explores a new, slightly more mature version of Damian's character, but I'm taking two points off because Lord Death Man annoys me to no end.

We see Alfred in Batman: One Dark Knight #3, which came out on 7/26. The story is a simplistic mini-run with good art as Batman nears the end of his journey to Blackgate. I like that this story takes place over a single night rather than stretched over a few days/weeks/etc. like we normally see—it's almost like Batman's typical Tuesday night. Alfred is still alive here, so it's nice to hear his sarcastic sense of humor after missing him for so long—it's sort of like seeing a family member at the airport. This comic also establishes him as DC's best trash-talker in his classic Alfred Pennyworth style. If I recall the miniseries is done, but the hardcover comes out on 9/13.

Luke Fox makes a cameo in Harley Quinn #18. Yes, that came out today too (#19 comes out on the 9th). Apparently the JLA left some old science experiments on their moon base so Luke puts together a team of former villains to... send them to the moon and clean it up (including Harley Quinn, Solomon Grundy, Bronze Tiger, and Killer Frost). I just read it and I'm too confused to actually criticize at the moment. First, I think Task Force XX is a dumb name—it sounds like an account on an adult website. Second, I think the artwork is alright in that you have all these bright, poppy designs, but the bodies and expressions feel kinda stiff and off-putting. I think it has potential to be one of the more absurd, fun, campy storylines, so I'll hold out and see where this goes.

An alternate-universe Thomas Wayne closes in on the Clockwork Killer in Flashpoint Beyond #4, which also came out today. However, Dexter Dent gets in the way with his own mission to break his mother out of Arkham. I already had skepticism about Flashpoint Beyond because I tend to be skeptical about a lot of alternate timelines and was never the biggest fan of Thomas Wayne as Batman or Martha as the Joker. I don't know if I should be happy or not that they proved me right, because this run has been moving a bit slowly—it feels like they're dragging what could be summarized in 4 sentence out to 32 pages. Overall I'd say it's a 4/10 (since the artwork isn't too shabby). Again, I'm biased because I never liked the Thomas Wayne concept in the first place so take it with a pinch of salt. Next issue also comes out 9/6.

[sleephyjhs]

When You’re Expecting (Taehyung Headcanon)

pairing: taehyung x pregnant!reader

warnings: mention of fertility & pregnancy complications

note: i’ve been craving to write a bts x pregnancy series for a while so here we go !! if there’s a specific member you’d like to see next, shoot me an ask :)

m.list

FINDING OUT

even before finding out you were pregnant, you both had so much love for your child

there was nothing either of you could have wanted more than a baby

it was always at the forefront of your mind how much you wanted a little human of your own

it was approaching a year since you began trying seriously

a few false hopes and two miscarriages later, fertility drugs were looking to improve the chances of conceiving

the raging hormones which came with the drugs were all worth the positive test

early september - sickness had hung around your throat for days

headaches lasted longer than usual, and crying at the most mundane things had become an unwelcome habit

in the bathroom cabinet, you’d collected a small stockpile of electronic and stick pregnancy tests

one of them would eventually show positive, right?

taehyung sat on the bathroom tiles with you

waiting two minutes felt closer to waiting two months

he crossed his legs, bouncing his knees impatiently

your knees came to your chin; high hopes weighed heavily on your heart

the alarm set on his phone beeped quietly

your heartbeat rose suddenly to your throat

taehyung reached out for your hand as you turned to read the results

two blue lines - as clear as day

they became less clear as your eyes coated with thick, salty tears

he began to chuckle as his happiness trickled down his cheeks

“we did it baby! we’re gonna have a baby!” he whispered, choked up by his own anticipation

no words were left swirling in your mind

your jaw hung open as though the hinges were faulty

shakily, you lifted the electronic test to triple check

pregnant.

as you crashed into taehyung’s open arms, memories of the past loomed in your mind

it was only inevitable

a positive test was a familiar joy to you both

however this familiar joy had only ever been followed by crippling devastation

as much as you tried not to think about it, you couldn’t help but retain maternal caution

however, this time also felt different

taehyung’s spirit, your spirit - it was as though fate didn’t want to disappoint you any more

someone out there decided it was finally your time to grow a mini human to bring into the world

of course, no time was wasted in contacting the maternity clinic

seeing your baby on a screen was now a top priority

just to see their little head, maybe even hear their heartbeat

just to know they were okay

just to know you were keeping them cosy and safe, that’s all you needed

taehyung couldn’t hold his excitement

from leaving the house to reaching the hospital, his toothy grin never wiped from his cheeks

he never said anything at the time since his main focus was always on comforting you

but losing his babies near enough tore him apart

even when you tried to comfort him, taehyung restricted himself just to protect your wellbeing

of course, the worse had already crossed his mind

but it wouldn’t get the better of him

it couldn’t.

you soon learned you were already 6 weeks pregnant

the midwife had to point out where your little baby was hanging out; they were such a tiny thing after all

briefly, you took the opportunity to hear their heartbeat

it was faint over the machine, but fast

there really was a life within you.

“there’s something else, if you just look over here...” the midwife prompted, turning the monitor so you could grasp a better view

taehyung leaned slightly over your chest to peer closely at the smaller monochrome screen

with the mouse, she circled a second bean shaped figure

“the fertility drugs increase the chance of twins. looks like you guys got lucky!”

twins. you were having twins.

THE PREGNANCY

like with most pregnancies, you were advised to wait until the 12 week milestone to begin announcing your impending delivery

and even though he understood the importance of patience right now, taehyung could hardly contain his excitement

it didn’t help that a little bump had already begun to grow

keeping a secret was much more difficult when the evidence was near impossible to hide

already, taehyung spent early mornings talking to his little angels

telling them stories he seemingly made up on the spot

or even borrowing some from his own childhood

“you know they can’t hear you yet? it’s about 7 weeks until they’ll be able to, honey.”

“i know, i’m just practising for when they can.”

of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did the same when you were alone

you attended more midwife appointments than other expectant mothers might

the pair of you much preferred being on the safer side

in the car, when on a quieter, less congested road, taehyung often reached over to cradle your still-growing bump with a free hand

you slotted your fingertips between his for additional sappiness

“you two have so many people waiting for you here, hmm? many people are already so in love with you both. me and mummy included.”

on a sleepless night, you’d made a small pact with tae

it was a rash decision, but sincere nonetheless

“no matter what, they are always going to know how wanted they were. always.”

taehyung hardly needed reminding of this, but it was still a weight off your shoulders

as you tried to conceive, the pregnancy diet had already been implemented into your daily routines

however now that you were carrying two precious babies, there really would be no more ‘cheat’ days for you

no more extra half cups of coffee on slower mornings

although you usually took over the role of head chef in the house, taehyung dedicated extra effort into preparing you both healthy and yummy foods

sautéd rice with green vegetables and lean meat/tofu appeared to be his go-to

but you still opted to supervise just in case

finally being able to announce your pregnancy was another heavy weight lifted from your mind

the other members were over the moon for you both

particularly when they reminded themselves of the struggles you had experienced previously

and also remembering the utter devastation of their taehyung when he had to break it to them

all of them kept their eye out for little gifts and outfits

each week, taehyung came home with a new stack of pale rompers or neutral-tones teething toys

these babies would have the best uncles; at least that much you could be certain of

announcing your pregnancy on social media was a looming task, but one he was determined to pull off perfectly

for filler content between schedules, the members had been asked to film a 5 minute vlog of their daily life

well, what a perfect opportunity!

towards the end, taehyung made sure to include some shots of your now protruding bump overlaid with some more vintage camera settings

safe to say, that day you had broken the internet

love, congratulations and blessings poured in from every corner of the earth

a few comments complimenting how much pregnancy suited you touched you especially

self image is commonly effected by the progression of pregnancy, and you were no exception to that

although it was amazing how your body grew and made a little home for your tiny babies, it was still quite strange to see yourself changing so quickly

your favourite clothes didn’t fit around your doubled bump anymore

and your skin seemed to hate sharing nutrients with two extra people

but for the days where you struggled to love yourself, taehyung easily filled in the gaps for you

sneaking up behind you in the bathroom

(although the mirror kinda gave him away)

he’d wrap his arms around your just-moisturised bump and carefully rest his chin on your shoulder

“tell me all your worries honey.”

you gushed over how much you missed wearing your favourite jackets

and how strange it was to look at yourself in such a new and confusing way

“i know it’s normal, and i know i have to do it for them. but i guess it’s just weird - i don’t look like myself anymore”

he sighed and planted a kiss on a spot of bare skin

those small kisses still tickled you like they always had

“well, you definitely look different,”

you really hoped there was a second part to that sentence, mostly for tae’s own good

“but why does that have to be bad? not gonna lie, it actually kinda makes you hotter. maybe we should make babies more often!”

“make~?”

LABOUR AND DELIVERY

originally, you had wanted to try and stick to the natural route for as long as you could

but after a few contractions, that idea was immediately out of the window

to help steady yourself and wait out the pain, you held onto the kitchen island and swayed to your own pace

eventually, taehyung joined you

copying the same movements while timing your contractions

“they really must be desperate to come out, huh?”

“well do you think they could hurry it up a bit?!”

the pair of you had been prepared for this for over a month

the hospital bag was ready by the door with all of your essentials packed tightly inside

not forgetting the pots of instant ramen taehyung insisted he must bring in case of an emergency

just as he was readying to back out of the driveway, taehyung took a mental stock check of everything packed in the back

“do you think we have everything?”

“i love you but stop talking please.”

thankfully, he understood well that the sheer pain made you cranky

so long as he assured himself that it was ‘just the contractions’, he’d be just fine

as much as he couldn’t wait to announce he was about to become a father to everyone, he kept himself grounded when walking you to the maternity ward

one corridor in and you’d suggested that a wheelchair might be a better mode of transport

breathlessness and contractions didn’t sound like a favourable mix to you

the assessment of your fast dilation granted you an immediate spot in the labour ward

you’d picked this suite specially due to its expansive space

the option of a birthing pool was still available if you so needed it, but the mood lighting and access to aromatherapy was what attracted you to the room in the first place

a serene paradise for your angels to be born into

it was perfect

taehyung explored while you adjusted to your new surroundings

of course, it didn’t take him long to find the birthing ball

“what’s the difference between a yoga ball and a birthing ball?”

there obviously was none, but you took a few seconds to try and be smart with him

“well, sit on that and you might have a baby the size of a watermelon come out of you soon.”

taehyung cradled his torso and pulled a shocked expression, which was enough to make you giggle and cause another contraction

less than a few hours passed, and you had already attempted to scream the building down once or twice

“get these babies out of me. no i’m serious, i need them out.”

realising your deadpan expression, taehyung soon attended to you at the head of your bed

stroking your slightly sweaty head and patting a ice cold flannel on your clammy forehead

he braced himself for a crushing hand grip which came about sooner than he’d prepared for

you weren’t the biggest fan of commotion, and so being surrounded by nurses and doctors was close to being your worst nightmare

taehyung focused his voice into your ear, trying to minimise the tension coming from below your pelvis

his motivational words were broken up by short bursts of pushes

many of which were followed by a string of curse words which just slipped out

and then, there it was.

the first piercing cry belted across the room

a tear or two may have happened to slip from your eyes

finally the moment you’d waited for, nearly two years in the making, was here

the first of two, a little girl who already had a head full of the most luscious black hair

taehyung wanted to hold back his happy tears in order to show some kind of strength

but you and him both knew he’d never hold it back for long

within the space of 4 minutes, the second baby was born into the world.

but this time, there was no immediate cry

the whole world seemed to slow down in that moment as you waited

and waited

midwifes gathered around the new infant, looking for any kind of obstruction

but, soon enough, your son said his first hello to the world

[appleb18]

Why Modern Cartoons is Not Great as it Used to be in this Decade

As 2010′s draw near to the end and begin a next-generation, cartoons have changed from being a fun episodic adventure with a meaningful message and can get dark sometimes to a story-driven show with deep messages. While cartoons have a great start in early 2010s such as Adventure Time, Regular Show, Gravity Falls, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, however as time passes cartoons are becoming less interesting and not many aren’t talking about it. So what the hell happened with modern cartoons? Let’s get to the bottom of what happened to this decade of cartoons and why isn’t anyone talking about it anymore 

The Animation Quality 

The quality of the animation of cartoons back in 2000′s were amazing, so many variations of animation styles that look very appealing such as 

Samurai Jack 

Avatar: The Last Airbender 

Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends 

Recess 

Proud Family and so many more

But now in modern cartoons, most cartoon shows are using a similar style of animation which many people called it “Calarts style”. Most cartoon shows are using because it’s cheap however it takes away creativity, more detail nor being organic. Look at Infinity Train, compare from the pilot to the release 

It looks very boring having most cartoons look the same. Then there’s artistic freedom where creators let them draw whatever they want such as Steven Universe and OK KO. That sounds good but really though it just looks lazy and unprofessional. This is very distracting that most characters go off-model every scene like why Rebecca and Ian-Jones Quarry think it was a good idea! 

Great to Below Average

So now let’s talk about the three shows that were once popular Steven Universe, Voltron, and Star vs The Forces of Evil. The trope I’ve been seeing as of late about these shows that it was pretty hype and they deliver on that. All they need to do is conclude it and call it a good cartoon but then crash and burned in later seasons. 

Steven Universe didn’t get popular until “Jailbreak” and that was when everyone was watching it. It had character development, an interesting world of gems, a gorgeous background and has one of the best soundtracks. This isn’t surprising because the creator is the same person who wrote Marceline episodes in Adventure Time which was Rebecca Sugar that created the series. Then season 4 and season 5 happened which the show drop in quality like mostly the show prefer showing filler which makes the plot go too fast and made arcs underwhelming, crystals gems and Lapis Lazuli and Peridot aren’t being used that much in the show and having each villain being beaten by simply talking to them. While there is Steven Universe Future but that hasn’t gotten interesting in my opinion. 

Star vs The Forces of Evil is a show used to be interesting for the two seasons and “Battle for Mewni” arc but then shipping drama got out of hand and that resulted to fell from grace 

Then there’s Voltron and we all how that turned out for the last two seasons

What these three have in common that they set up this interesting premise and world in the first few seasons but they all went downhill. Awful character writing, insane plot twist, and terrible pacing. I did wish that those shows would get better like how Adventure Time and Regular Show had one bad season but after that, they both got better but they didn’t and it went from being great to disappointingly average. 

Comedy Over Messages

Now that’s got the most hype shows, let’s talk about shows that not many people talk about because the premise and world aren’t engaging enough to watch and which they are We Bare Bears, Craig in the Creek, Clarence, OK KO, and The Loud House. While I’m not saying they aren’t bad but it is just not interesting to watch, it's just that it’s too tame and too comedic. The main issue I have it doesn’t really teach viewers like they used to anymore 

OK KO was about to talk about gun violence but they turn it into a comedy. In “Let’s Not Be Skeletons” people overuse the gun and resulting everyone to turn skeletons and KO tries to stop it but fails. By the end of the episode, it was a dream and calls Congress to stop it from happening. I really hate how writers of this episode of making a serious issue turn into comedy and that’s a pretty awful way of doing it. 

Look at Static Shock and Fat Albert, instead of making Gun Violence a joke, they talk about how serious it is by having someone shot and that devastated the characters a lot 

Then there's Hey Arnold, it really dives into serious issues such as 

“Pigeon Man” showcases that some people are meant to be with other people while others like Pigeon Man are just different and can’t be with other people. 

“Helga on the Couch” showcases Helga's anger issues and those issues manifest because her family ignores her because of her sister. Never truly cares for like no makes her lunch for school and no one brought her to school when she was a young girl. The only person that cares for was Arnold.

Then there’s my personal favorite, “Arnold Christmas”. Mr. Hyunh is always sad at Christmas and this episode revealed that he had a daughter and all he wanted was to see her grow up but there was a war coming near his village. In order to do so, he had to give her up so she can have a better life. It took 20 years to get out of the country and he almost gave up hope to find her until Helga helped Arnold to search for her and be reunited with her father. 

Modern cartoons don’t show those kinds of messages anymore and there’s something worse than that and I hate how cartoon shows keep doing this. 

Today’s Villains

I” ve been seeing a lot lately that the main antagonist isn't handled well in cartoons as of lately. Most villains have been getting redeemed lately and not paying their crimes. While show creatures try to make them sympathetic and the victim however it doesn’t excuse them for their crimes. 

White Diamond who caused multiple mass genocide on worlds, brainwash any gem that stands in her way and shatter gems gets easily defeated by simply getting talk to and just not gonna do it anymore because Steven said so. 

Mina Loveberry and her Mewni soldiers wanted to destroy monsters. When her and her army magic depleted, she just goes in the wilderness and no one stopped her. 

Moon Butterfly helped Mina create her soldiers so she can retake the throne from Ecipsa. Instead of having the monsters and her surrendering the throne that she was attending to do, however, her plan backfired when Mewni Soldiers and Mina wanted to kill all the monsters. Why didn’t Moon saw that coming, they were clearly racist against them. Then by the end of the show, she never once apologized for what she has done. 

Starlight Glimmer created a cult that no one has cutie marks until the mane six defeated her in “Cutie Map” She returns and her revenge on Twilight by going back in time and making sure Rainbow Dash doesn’t perform the Sonic Rainboom. After multiple going to multiple timelines, she finally catches up to her and then her tragic backstory been revealed and it was very disappointing. The reason she caused all of this because her friend moved away and that’s it. That’s not all, instead of her facing her crimes like most villains such as Tirek or Queen Chrysalis, she gets off the hook and she became friends with Twilight in a matter of minutes 

A good example of a good antagonist is Aku from Samurai Jack. When he first appeared in the show, he’s pure evil, destroying anything that stood in his way and ruling over the weak but as the show progresses, the serious villain became more comedic villain but that doesn’t mean he’s a silly character, he’s far from that. He’s still all-powerful and should be taken seriously. This is what I want from a villain.  He’s powerful, he’s truly evil and has a personality. 

Villains can be sympathetic and relatable however shouldn’t be forgiven so easily. When a character crosses the line by taking multiple innocent lives should never be redeemed, even if they have a sad backstory 

Cartoons lately have become less popular in this past decade, the glaring problems about cartoons are its animation, comedy over messages, messy plots, and terrible villain. People will only talk about cartoons from the late ’80s to 2012. I’m afraid that this day of age that it isn’t appealing anymore than in previous years. The only animation that people will talk about is anime shows which I can’t lie, is far superior to cartoons as of now. I feel that the only way it can make it back on top is it needs something like Adventure Time or Gravity Falls moment that reinvent it more relevant and view to modern audiences. I really do like to watch cartoon shows for animation, message, and characters but I keep seeing issues in modern cartoons and I hope that it will change in the future. 

[sylvie-writes]

Bad (2): What Happened?

First inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

Summary: What went down that fateful night...

A/n: I got carried away, and kinda forgot about the real plot lol. So there’s more fluff than angst... I think. 

Disclaimer: this chapter is sort of a filler before we get to the real shiz. 

Warnings: Cheating, mild profanity, poor writing. Ransom being an asshole (rip all the soft Ransom stories I’ve written)

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Series Masterlist 

Picking up from where we last left off: About two months ago, your work gave its employees a week off for the holidays. It was once in a blue moon that you got to see your family, so you seized this opportunity. You wished your husband could have come, but Ransom had to stay behind to help Harlan with an upcoming novel. In truth, Ransom never saw himself reverting back to his bad ways, but who knows what entices people to change… 

They always say to choose a job that you love. Something even your own parents had drilled into your head as a young child, trying to prevent you from their own mistakes. It was known then, that if you chose a job you didn’t love, you would be metaphorically chained like a prisoner bound to the wall, or in your case, the job. 

Well, you followed their advice, and chose a job you were passionate about, something you didn’t mind studying about all those years ago in college. It’s not that you didn’t love your job, but you were tired, very tired. Life was fast paced and you were running out of fuel, so to say. So this morning when your work offered you an exclusive week off, you took the offer, worked quickly yet precisely, and flew out the door, before it was dark. Normally, you’d work more than the normal 9-5 shift, it was more like 9-7 for you, anyway.

Ransom was supposedly off today, and you wanted nothing more than to kick off your break, by eating a nice lunch with your husband. While you gave your holiday wishes to your friends, you shot Ransom a quick text asking him to call you. 

So, just as you drove down the highway, your phone steaming your favorite playlist to the car’s stereo, Ransom’s name popped up on the large screen, a picture of him in college, showing up. (yeah, you liked to tease him about his college years, when he thought he was all that and a bag of chips.) 

“Hey Gorgeous! What’s up?”

“Well… you interrupted my carpool karaoke.”

Your husband laughed along with you, before you dropped your surprise on him.

“Other than that, my work gave me the week off. No biggie though.” 

Being married to Ransom and having known him for many years, has given you a real sense of sarcasm to say the least.

“That’s amazing! You deserve it, my love.”

“Ohh, quit trying to butter me up, Ran.”

More laughter from his end, making a large grin grow on your face. Only you could ever make Ransom laugh at the stupidest things, that’s just the kind of bond you two shared. 

“Anyhoo, I was wondering if you wanted me to come pick you up for lunch?”

“Sounds great, love ya.”

“Love you too.” The rest of the drive to your house was enjoyable. Today had been spectacular, something that hadn’t happened in ages. As you continued to drive, all the amazing occurrences from today settled with you in the car, a permanent smile on your face the whole way.  

You pulled into the driveway, opting to stay in the car just to keep the warm air flowing from the vents, sending Ransom a quick text.

A few minutes later, the man himself came out, his brown suede trench coat on, your own raspberry pea coat slung over his left arm. 

The passenger door popped open, and Ransom’s warm lips pressed slowly against your cheek, instantly warming you up.

“I figured you might be cold.”

A deep laugh resonated in his stomach as he reached over the console to hand you the jacket, the one you had forgotten this morning. 

“Thanks, hon. So, where do you want to eat?”

You looked over to Ransom, whose eyes had been lovingly glued to you since he’d gotten in the car.

“How about that little sandwich shop in town?”

A bright and sweet smile graced your lips, stunning Ransom with its effect on him. His own eyes crinkling up as his frowning lips slowly formed into a content smile.

Once you had reached town about twenty minutes later, Ransom rushed out of the car the minute you had stopped the engine. His actions leaving you confused when suddenly a blurb of tan suede halted and revealed the missing man, who was now pulling your door open.  

“Wow Mr. Drysdale, since when did you become such a gentleman.”

You teased Ransom, wrapping your arm around his, embracing his warmth, and playfully kissing his nose. 

“Since you became Mrs. Drysdale.” 

His little quip caught you off guard as you weren’t expecting a response from the man. As a result of that surprise, your cheeks slightly warmed, causing you to shyly look down. It was a given, what had just happened, as Ransom knew your reactions like the back of his hand. 

That arrogant jerk knew very well what he had done and slightly leaned over to kiss your bowed head.

Confidently, Ransom spoke up, and without even looking over at him, you just knew he was smirking. 

“Still have that effect on you, huh?” 

Before you could banter back at him, your arm interlocked with Ransom’s was tugged, prompting you to look up. 

Apparently, when you were just mindlessly walking to the restaurant, Ransom had another stop on his list. One full of eye-catching flower bouquets. Blood red roses, yellow lilies, variegated tulips, you name it, they littered the glass window of the flower shop. 

As you stepped into the shop, the distinctive smell of baby’s breath filled your senses. You were still interlocked with Ransom, so at this point wherever he walked, you went. Also meaning he’d dragged you to the counter despite your words of defiance.

“Ransom, you don’t need to buy me anything. All I want is to eat lunch, with my husband.”

“And that you’ll get.”

Just when you’d thought you’d won this argument, the man continued.

“Along with the bouquet of carnations and baby’s breath please.

Your husband spoke up just a bit louder, so the man behind the counter could hear his order while also making it known to you that you were indeed gonna accept these flowers. 

Ransom quickly paid for the bouquet, coming back to lock arms with you and hand you the flowers. It was a simple bouquet yet the meaning behind the choice a lot stronger. Coral carnations ideally intermixed with the snow-white baby’s breath. The soft aroma from earlier, now in a bouquet held by your cold hands. 

When you were young, your grandmother would always buy carnations for her home, specifically the coral ones. She’d tell you about each flower and how they were all unique, capturing your curiosity. As you got older, you became more versed in floral design and structure. Soon, you were going every other day to buy fresh carnations for your grandmother. When you had first brought Ransom to meet her, she told him about the story behind carnations and when you were always buying them. 

To this day, Ransom remembers, and the carnations have since then become your flower.

If it weren’t for the constant wind, the temperature would have been enjoyable, but now your hands were slightly shaking and Ransom noticed. Taking your free hand in his, he then put your conjoined hands in his coat pocket.

Just a few more blocks and you had finally made it to the humble little sandwich shop, one Ransom had actually introduced to you. 

Mr. Miller, the owner of the shop happily greeted you both. Over the years you’ve lived in Massachusetts, you and Ransom have become regulars at this shop. It may have been a small place, with seating for only thirty people, yet the food was outstanding. Especially Mr. Miller’s Monte Cristo, your’s and Ransom’s favorite. To no surprise, that is in fact what you ended up ordering. 

As you sat at the booth, the two of you laughing and enjoying the time spent with each other, never once did it cross your mind that this was it. That this was not gonna be the normal anymore. It’d become a memory you’d end up savoring for the years of the future.

Because little did you know, that was the last time he’d ever buy you flowers, the last time he’d ever laugh with you…

The last time he’d ever really love you. 

That very next day, you woke up early to pack your bags for the unbearable flight to come. You absolutely hated the airport, but then again, who doesn’t? It was a constant marathon and by time you make it to all your gates, you’d probably lose ten pounds from running so much. There was no peace at the airport, especially with the holiday rush and you dreaded it. If only your husband could have come, it would make things ten times better, but he can’t and you aren’t going to miss this opportunity. It’s been a few years since you’ve been able to go home, and truly relax for the holidays. The years before, you’d only get to spend the weekend, but now you have the whole week and in the end, it’d be worth the living hell at the airport. 

By 10:00 am, you were all ready to go, Ransom carrying the bags to your car, sulking as he did so. He really wanted to go with you. Believe it or not, but Ransom would love to spend all his time with you if he could, except Harlan really needed his help to finish up a few things. 

With everything packed, it finally came time for you to bid goodbye. Sure, it was a week away, but this was your first Christmas as a married couple, and you couldn’t spend it together. Had things been different, you could have, but Ransom understood you missed your family. For once in his life, Ransom Drysdale thought about someone else’s benefit beside his own. 

The car running, you flung your arms around Ransom, who stood at the door, coffee in hand, balancing it as he reciprocated the hug.

He could feel your tears on his neck, running through his sweatshirt. Your head was buried in the crevice, and your sobs made his heart shatter. Ransom couldn't bear it anymore, because soon he’d be the one crying. A warm hand, ran up and down your back while soothing whispers rang in your ear.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay.”

Your sobs that racked your body soon ceased, Ransom pulling back to give you his best attempt at a smile. His eyes worriedly scanned over your red ones before pulling you into a soothing kiss. Releasing your lips, Ransom once again gave you a comforting smile, handing you the coffee, knowing you had forgotten your own. 

“Go on, you’re gonna be late, my love.”

On tippy toes, you pressed your lips to the corner of Ransom’s, slowly leaning away, then solemnly heading to your car. 

That night, you had called Ransom, telling him you made it safely and that you’d facetime him tomorrow. In his voice, Ransom hid his sorrow, but in truth, ever since you left this morning, he’d been wallowing in despair. What better way to drown out your sorrows than to actually do that? So just as Ransom hung up the phone, he dashed to the car and to the nearest bar, slowly easing the pain via eight beers. 

Just about to ring up the bartender for a check, a small, womanly hand slowly wrapped around his forearm, setting it back down on the counter.

“Hey stranger.”

Ransom was so intoxicated, he struggled to even focus, but all he knew was that a woman was sitting in front of him and he sure was missing his wife. It was wrong, but at that moment, his priorities blurred the minute the girl’s lips smothered his. There weren’t boundaries anymore and he knew damn well, that this lady was making his thoughts and good judgement dissipate, he forgot why he was even there in the first place. Right now, you were in the back of his drunken mind, and Blair in the front. Literally and figuratively. 

The two broke away from the kiss for air, and Ransom soon remembered the woman staring seductively at him. At this moment, the man was no longer in his own mindset and was reverting back to his old self. The playboy Ransom Drysdale was out tonight, not the man bound by the ring on his finger. 

“It’s Blair right?”

She nodded, a few waves of chestnut brown hair moving with her head. Soon drinks long forgotten, Ransom threw down a one-hundred dollar bill, taking Blair by the hand, and out the door. As he gripped her warm hand, he could feel the cold metal of his wedding ring, slightly breaking him out of his lustful haze as mentally kicked himself for what just almost happened. He let out a small laugh, you were always there to keep him in line, whether he accepted it or not. And thank god for that, he thought. After that little reminder, it was like he had sobered up.

About to send Blair back into the bar, lips peppered small kisses to his ear and his fresh mindset was thrown out the window. The sober thoughts now gone. Starting that car engine and driving out with Blair in the passenger seat, Ransom was unknowingly throwing away the best thing to ever happen to him. By doing this, long gone was the better man you had helped make Ransom become.

 If only he had been strong enough to fight the temptation and listen to the little warning the symbol of your love (his ring) gave him...

And that night, as Ransom washed away his longing for you with Blair, you laid awake in your childhood bed, happily replaying the memory of lunch with Ransom just the day before. Soon, you’d be reliving that memory in your head, more often than once, but with tears streaming down your face. 

taglist: @kiwihoee @buckybarnesthehotshot @memissbee @tricereads @tonystankschild @coffeebooksandfandom @ria132love @what-is-your-wish​ @maan24​ @bval-1​ @jemimah-b99​

If I’ve messed up and tagged the wrong person, please lemme know. I’m very tired and typing up the taglist was probably not the best idea.

[generallybarzy]

smile like sunshine iv

Tuesday: ~ 7.9k I’M SO SORRY

previous chapters: i // ii // iii

an: I HAD WRITERS BLOCK BUT THEN IT ALL HIT ME AT ONCE. I thought it was gonna be a short filler chapter but.... 7.9k words later here we are... I realized that I probably should’ve given mc a real name and stuff because it’s so specific about certain details, but it’s too late to change that, so we’ll all have to deal with it unfortunately. Also, from here on out there is a warning for nsfw thoughts! Anyway, enjoy! @thirteenisles!!

summary: Much, much different from yesterday, today is the yearly fishing trip, so you and Mat are- unfortunately- apart for a good part of the day. Mat and your father come to a silent agreement and you look for a distraction in an old flame to keep you from falling more in love with your friend. Mat doesn’t like sharing this place in your mind with anyone else...

It’s the summer of ‘19, eleven years after you first met Mat, and things are bound to be a little different this time around. 

You woke up the next day with a smile on your face, giddy and excited before you even opened your eyes. You had fallen asleep happy and tired and full of warmth the night before, cuddled up against Mat’s side as he drove back to the beach house. He only woke you with soft whispers when it was time to undress for bed; you woke up in his arms realizing he had carried you all the way from the car to your room. So, your mind raced with images of Mat- his smile, his laughter, his eyes, his body- it was all overwhelming enough to stir up passionate dreams about him. Dreams about his skin against yours, weightless in the water, his big hands on you, his body hovering over top of yours, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he moved on top of you... 

Rolling over in bed and trying to control yourself, you opened your phone and went into your gallery, into the folder of all your pictures of Mat from yesterday that you would continue to fill throughout the week. 

And though you’d only been apart from him for the eight hours of sleep, you needed to see him in person.

Mat was in the room across the hall, drifting in and out of sleep with a smile on his face as he thought back to yesterday. He reached over to the bedside table so he could scroll through his own phone. You had asked him yesterday to take a picture of you for your Instagram, posing for him and smiling with the ocean in the background, and he couldn’t look away from them. You looked so good yesterday in that little bikini, all spread out on the paddleboard and soaking up the sunlight, and, as much as he wanted to keep his head out of the gutters around you, there was just something about you. If only you knew the effect you had on him.

“Kids, get up! We’ve got a lot planned for today!” 

He jumped, hearing your mother’s voice in the hall outside your rooms, and sat up a little bit more in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He had to admit, this trip would be a little bit more fun if your family wasn’t here as well; if every day could be like yesterday. But hoping to be alone with you for every second of the day was a fantasy, and he knew it. He was still technically intruding on your family vacation.

There was a knock at his door, and for a horrible moment, he thought it was one of your parents before your voice sounded from the other side. “Mat? It’s me.” 

“Yeah, come in.” If only he was ready for what he was about to see. Yeah, he saw you in a bikini yesterday, but this was just as good… You walked into his room in a little tank top and booty shorts, what you had slept in, your messy hair thrown up in a bun. He didn’t want to stare too much, but were you braless? Yeah, you definitely were. He shuffled around under the sheets, making sure you wouldn’t be able to see what you were doing to him. He was lucky you knocked first, or who knows what he could’ve been doing?

Seeing Mat lying in bed was… a sight. His dark hair was haloing around his head on the pillow, he was tangled in the white sheets, and half of his upper chest and arms were exposed and already looking beautifully tanned. “You’ll never guess what today is.”

Mat ran a hand through his hair and let out a puff of air. “Your birthday’s tomorrow, so I have no idea.” 

“It’s the family fishing trip! Remember that?”

Oh, he remembers it. He remembers going out onto the water in a rented boat with his dad and yours, watching in amazement at the huge fish they caught in the ocean. He remembers playing with you on the little dock, daring you to jump from it and into the ocean. Of course, your parents always stopped you from doing that. “No way, you still do that?” 

“Yup, it’s tradition.”

“The same place every year?” 

“Same place.” 

“Maybe this year you won’t be too afraid to jump off the dock.” He smirked, and it was a sight that flooded heat all the way through your body.

“Shut up, Mat! I wasn’t afraid to, my parents just never let me!” He laughed at that, sitting up and letting the sheets fall off his bare chest. “And you know that, too! You just love to get on my nerves.” Oh, that was only one of many things he’d love to do to you.  

“Maybe. But you brought me on this trip anyway.”  

“Don’t make me regret that, Maty.” You swatted his bare leg away from you as he stretched out in bed, and he couldn’t help but smile at the touch. “Get up, we gotta get ready for today. I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be pretty fun.” And when you turned and left, Mat had to bite his lip to hold back any reaction to the way your legs looked in those shorts. He tossed his head back to his pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

Yeah, today was gonna be fun.

Back when you and Mat first met, your parents and his immediately got along. He had begged and begged his parents to talk to yours and let him go along on the family fishing trip, mostly because you had cried to him and told him you didn’t want to be alone. Of course, they had to go meet your parents first and come along, but when they finally agreed that Mat could come along, you were over the moon. 

 Since you reconnected almost a year ago, Mat had told his parents about you. He called them the day after you approached him in the bar, when he went out to lunch with you to talk, the moment he knew he was going to try and befriend you again. He was excited when he called them, asking in a frenzy if they still remembered that girl he hung out with the summer of 2008. Of course, they remembered her, they had told him, she was the first crush he ever had. "Oh, your first girlfriend!" his mom had exclaimed. "Mom!" Flustered, Mat shook off those words. No, you were nothing more than friends. 

That’s what he had thought, anyway, up until a few months ago. 

Now, after being alone with you yesterday, he knew: this was much more than friendship.

The place your dad went to go fishing every year was a cute empty spot of beach, with deep water and a small dock where you and your siblings and friends always used to play. Where you used to play with Mat, that summer, when he dared you to jump in but you were too scared. Where you continued to come back to years after until Mat was just a fading memory and your parents urged you to meet new friends. And where, years later, you had your first kiss, with some random boy you met three days before and who you thought was cute.  

“This is where it all began.” You spread your arms wide in a flourish, presenting the dock to Mat when you arrived. He glanced around- yes, this was where it all began. 

“It definitely looks a lot smaller than when we were kids.” 

“Yeah, probably because we grew up.” 

“Aww, if we grew up does that mean I can’t push you in anymore?” 

“Don’t even think about it, Barzal.” Before Mat had the chance to even try to push you in, you were cut off by the sound of an approaching boat out on the water. “Bet, Mat. Wanna push me into the water in front of my dad? I dare you.” He smiled and held up his hands in surrender. Usually, your dad took your brother along with him, but this year it seemed he had other plans. 

“You like to fish, Mathew?”

“Uh,” he glanced at you for help, obviously not yet sure how to talk to your dad. 

“Yeah, he’s pretty good at fishing.”

“Great! Hop on. We’ll have some one-on-one time.”

“Okay, cool.” The moment he turned away, Mat whispered to you: “He’s going to throw me off the boat.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Mat. He doesn’t hate you. You’ll probably just talk about fish or sports.” 

“But don’t you want me here with you?”

“I’ll be fine alone for a bit.”

Mat couldn’t lie- he wasn’t the happiest at how this day was gonna pan out. He wanted one-on-one time with you, not your dad. They had already had that talk at the motel when he ever so kindly told him not to make a move on his daughter, so he wasn’t sure what else could happen. But if this is what he had to go through to get on your dad’s good side, he was gonna try his hardest. So here he sat, kinda awkwardly, next to him, a fishing rod in his hands. 

“So, Mathew, You were gone with (Y/N) yesterday...”

“Uhh, yeah.” 

“What’d the two of you do?” 

He was at a loss for words. What could he say?  “Oh, just uhh, took a drive down to another beach, had lunch.”

“Hmm. But you didn’t try anything?” 

“No, no nothing!”

“I hope not. Otherwise, we’d really have a problem.” Mat couldn’t find a way to respond to that. As much as he wanted to make a move, he knew here wasn’t the ideal place to do it. No, he’d wait until he wasn’t sharing a roof with your father. “Mathew, I still remember what you said at the motel.” Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Of course, he did. “But you understand where I’m coming from, don’t you?” 

“I- I‘m not sure.”

“You seem like an… okay, guy. A good friend to her. But I’ve seen plenty of guys who seemed okay and ended up breaking her heart. I won’t let that happen again.” Mat wanted to tell him that it wasn’t up to him to decide who his daughter could date, but he knew that that might be the dumbest possible thing to say, so he held his tongue. “I know what young, professional athletes are like. While I respect the sport, you’re not the type of guy I want my daughter with.” He didn’t like the idea that you’d had your heart broken before. He never wanted to do that to you, and your father just had a way of making him doubt himself. 

“I understand.” Mat’s eyes drifted to where you stood down on the sand, barely able to make out your form from this distance, as he wondered what you were doing. 

You were collecting shells, walking side by side with your sister, and catching up with a little bit of girl talk. 

“Sooo, this Mat guy?” 

“Yeah?” You couldn’t help the smile that was pulling onto your face at just the sound of his name. “What about him?”

“Well, he’s an NHL player, first of all.” 

“He’s a lot more than that.” And he was. It may sound strange to others, but he meant everything to you. Ever since that summer where he had been your refuge, he’d been the one you thought about to calm down. He’d been your happy memory. He’d been the dream you could only hope you never forgot. And he became so much more in the past few months. It was a little weird at first when your roommate teased you about your “summer romance” with this boy you didn’t even know, but suddenly you didn’t want to deny it. Maybe this time around, you would come back with an even better story than before. 

“Yeah. He’s also pretty hot.”

“Trust me, I know.” You weren’t shallow, but yeah, the cherry on top was how attractive he just happened to be.

“What are you two? Friends? Maybe moooore?”

“No, no, no, just friends.” Your answer was quick- almost too quick- as if you were trying to cover something up. A silence fell between you and you realized just how in denial you sounded. “But he just means a lot to me, ya know? You heard the story about how we met, right? Mom’s obsessed with telling it.”

“Yeah, of course. If you ask me, kinda sounds like looooove.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Seriously, if this were a movie, I’d watch the shit out of it. Imagine the ratings a plot like that would get! It’s like a teen summer romance but... wholesome and cute! I’m sure everyone has a childhood friend they became separated from. Imagine reading this summary: A boy and girl meet and become best friends only to be separated after one summer of romance-” 

“Ew, don’t say romance! We were like, ten.”

“-After a summer of almost-romance where they were obviously in love even if their little brains couldn’t comprehend it. They reconnect years later, only to realize what they felt all those years ago was much more than friendship.” 

You laughed, but couldn’t help imagining how that story would end. What was your sister, a psychic? “Okay, that’s not quite how it goes, but can we just… stop talking about him? It’s weird.” For the last few months, there had been a weird feeling in your chest whenever you discussed your relationship with Mat. Okay, maybe- just maybe- you had a little crush. A tiny crush. Nothing that meant anything, nothing that wouldn’t be easy to get over. It sucked to have a crush on one of your best friends, to have a crush on the boy you brought along on this trip to use as a distraction from everything else. 

You glanced out to where you could barely see Mat’s figure on the boat with your father. His features were indistinguishable, but you could see the outline of his body and the dark swoop of hair on his head standing out against the blue sky. It wasn’t like Mat was interested in you at all, he was an NHL player, a star at that. He probably had countless girl’s numbers lined up in his contacts that he could date at any given moment, there’s no way he’d settle for a childhood friend he’d only known for a year. Just because he came on this trip with you and promised to be your distraction, didn’t mean he liked you like that. No, if anything, he was here for nostalgia- for looking back on that summer when you were carefree children- not because he had any type of romantic feelings for you. Not because he loved you. Yet, despite this, you couldn’t seem to control yourself around him.

You desperately needed a distraction from Mat, or else you’d end up doing something you couldn’t come back from. 

You dropped your gaze to the sand to look for any pretty, unbroken shells hiding among the piles beneath your feet. The tide had come in high earlier this morning, leaving behind a mess of little shards of broken shells and rocks. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d find one that was whole. 

“Ooh, look at this one!” Your sister held up a pretty shell, still in one piece, colored all the shades of a sunset. 

“Oh, man that’s pretty! I wish I could’ve found one that nice.”

“Don’t look too hard. It was right in front of you the whole time.”

You walked silently, pondering over her words, and searching for something better when a third voice spoke up from a little distance in front of you.  

“No way, (Y/N)?”

It was a voice you’d never thought you’d hear again, but when you looked up towards it, you realized this trip might just get a lot more interesting. Your sister nudged you and made her exit, knowing exactly who this was and wanting to give you alone time with him. 

Maybe this was exactly what you needed to take your mind off of Mat.

Back in 2008, when you were only ten years old, you thought the world of Mat. You thought he was the coolest person you knew, at the beach or at home. He was your closest friend, but for some reason, neither of your young brains realized that you should get each other’s parent’s phone numbers or addresses so you could keep in touch. You left the beach that year with nothing on your mind but Mat, and your parent’s loved to tease you to this day that he was the only person you talked about for months. When next summer rolled around, you were pouty and angry that he was nowhere to be found. And that continued for years to come. 

Slowly, over the years you went on family vacations in that same house, you began, with your parent’s urging, to try and push your memories of Mat to the back of your mind and make new friends with the local kids your age. And slowly, you began to forget about Mat. Or, that’s how you thought it would happen. Sure, there were times you went without thinking of him for a while, but something would always end up reminding you of him. But you pushed it aside. He’s long gone, you’d told yourself, no point in dwelling on the past. None of your new friends could compare to the fun Mat had been, but they were great friends, and now you were young teenagers having fun, getting into trouble together, and experiencing all your firsts together.

This guy- Kyle- was one of those firsts. 

The summer you turned seventeen, there was a new guy among your beachy friend-group. He was your age, and he could already drive, and that made his curly, blonde, surfer boy look even more attractive to all the girls who knew him. As much as you hated to admit today, you weren’t an exception. Yeah, you thought he was cute. No, there wasn’t much about him beyond that, as shallow as it was, but at least he had seemed to care about you that night when he walked you away from the other teens, partying and drinking and walked you out to the dock and kissed you under the stars. He had said all the right things that night, and a few nights later, and later, and later.

You went that whole summer thinking that the two of you were together, but apparently, you’d missed the memo that he was seeing other girls, too. He’d promised he didn’t mean to hurt you but learning that it wasn’t the two of you, learning that he was with other girls too and the whole summer had been a lie made your self-esteem plummet. It hurt like hell, being your first heartbreak, and it was the worst possible way to end a beach trip tradition. 

But he wasn’t a bad guy, not really. He was a young, stupid, teenage boy, right? And he said he didn’t mean to hurt you. No reason to hate him. 

Now, almost exactly four years since you met him, he walked next to you down the beach as you combed for shells, a quietness settling over you. It wasn't a comfortable silence like with Mat, but something uneasy, something tense and awkward. Why was he here? Was it appropriate to just… walk up to your ex and start chatting like old friends? Maybe he was just trying to be civil, courteous- if that’s what this was, you… hesitantly respected that. It probably took as much courage as when you approached Mat for the first time- both times. But, if he was looking for something more…

“So, you been dating at all?”

“Sure I have. I mean, it’s been...almost four years?” Truthfully, you’ve barely been dating. Nothing serious, at least. But you knew it would sound so sad if he was the last “serious” relationship you had. 

“You disappeared after what happened between us. For four years. I thought maybe you couldn’t face me afterward or something.”

“No.” You bit your tongue, not really wanting to bring up old bad blood or reopen old scars. “Life just got in the way. After that year I had a job, then I was moving out, going to college. Just didn’t have time to come down anymore.”

“That sucks. We’ve all really missed you down here.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” He smiled, dropping an arm around your shoulder. You knew he didn’t mean it in a romantic way, it was such a thing he would do, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before. “We’re actually having a party on Friday. Think you can make it?” Could you make it? It was going to be the night before you had to leave, your last night on the beach, and as much as you wanted to do something alone with Mat, you knew it was inappropriate to cling on him as if he was something more than a friend. As if he was yours. But you needed to take a step back before you did something you couldn’t take back. 

Maybe this was the perfect distraction from Mat.

“I’ll be there.”

After their first discussion, Mat had fallen in and out of uncomfortable small talk with your father for what felt like hours. And now, as they got ready to head back to shore for a quick lunch, he could confirm that he was one hundred percent still not on his good side.  It seemed like no matter what he tried, your father didn’t want anything to do with him. Maybe it was best this way, indifference is better than hate, isn’t it?

“Shit...” 

“Huh?” Mat looked up when your father swore next to him. He was glaring up the shoreline as they approached the dock, out to where you were. And then he noticed, with a jolt to his heart, that you weren’t alone out there. Standing next to you in the sand was a generic-looking douchebag surfer dude. He was standing way, way too close to you for his comfort, with an arm thrown over your shoulders like you were old buddies. “Who’s that?” 

“It’s not really any of your business, is it?” He glanced over and, for a moment, Mat regretted asking anything, not wanting to stir up any drama. “But... seeing as you’re here as her friend, maybe you can talk some sense into her.” 

“About what?”

“It’s not my place to tell you about her private stuff but… that boy. Trouble.” He shook his head, preparing to dock the boat. “Mathew, I don’t dislike you. You mean a lot to (Y/N) as a friend, and I don’t want you to ruin that. If things didn’t work out between you two, she would be devastated. I’ve seen her heartbroken, but if it was because of you, it’d be so much worse. She could barely function without you after that summer, so if things ended completely between you two...”

Mat couldn’t help but smile when your father said he didn’t dislike him. That was a start, at least. But the thought of you having your heart broken was something he didn’t want to think about. The thought you being heartbroken because of him was something he didn’t want to think about. “I know.” And he did. He understood because he would feel the same way. If things went awkward and sour between the two of you, he would hate himself. He would be lost. Reconnecting after ten years and then losing you all together would hurt even more than if he’d never found you- if you were still only a fond memory he thought back to. If he lost you, he wouldn’t even know what to do. He needed you.

“But, that being said, you’re better than any other guy she’s cared about. Especially that boy. I respect that.” He stepped onto the dock and cast one look back at him. “Look out for her this week. As a friend.” 

“I will.” 

“Starting now.” He motioned down the beach where you stood with the boy, his arm around you, pulling you much too close to his body. 

It felt good to know that at least your father didn’t hate him. He respected him, even. It felt good to know that both men had the same ideas when it came to your safety and were able to come to a silent agreement. And if all they could bond over was their need to protect you, he could take that. Because you were all that mattered to him. 

He all but jogged down the beach to you, his heart throbbing at the sight of you smiling and laughing with someone other than him. His blood boiled. He hated that you were so familiar and comfortable with this guy, but he took comfort in the fact that your dad felt the same way, that at least they were on the same page about that. What could he be saying that was making you this happy? Who could he be who was stealing your attention away from him? That should be him, with his arm around you, making your eyes sparkle in laughter. What was this tightening feeling in his chest? 

Why was Mat so jealous of him?

“Who’s this?”

You looked up from where you were practically hanging on the blonde boy’s arm and met eyes with Mat. Your Mat, your best friend. The man you were trying to forget about. And you had forgotten about him for a few minutes, falling back into the memory of your summer romance at seventeen instead of thinking of Mat, with his pretty dark swoops of hair and high cheekbones, those shimmering hazel eyes and that dazzling smile… and the fact that he was shirtless and shining all pretty and golden in the sunlight. The way he made you laugh until there were tears in your eyes and your sides ached, the way he made your heart pound erratically when he hugged you and when he threw his arm over your shoulders.

And suddenly you realized your ex couldn’t compare to Mat at all, no matter how much you needed a distraction. 

“Mat, this is Kyle. Kyle, this is my friend, Mat.”

“Hey.” The other guy spoke up, and somehow, he sounded exactly like Mat expected him to sound. Like a fucking douchebag.

“Hey.” Mat couldn’t hide how unenthusiastic he was when he greeted the man, and you noticed. It was awkward, you were sandwiched between two shirtless men, one your ex- who you were trying to use as a distraction- and one your best friend- who you were hopelessly crushing on and needed a distraction from- and all three of you waited and waited until Mat finally spoke up. “So, how do you know each other?”

“We, uhh, we dated when we were younger.” 

“Oh?” Mat wasn’t a fan of the way his heart ached when those words left your lips. Of course, you had other boyfriends, you were stunning, borderline perfect. Everyone must want you. You’re not mine, you’re not mine, I know. “You did?”

“Yeah, actually…” Kyle tossed his curly hair out of his face and had Mat rolling his eyes. “We met down here a few years ago. And that dock over there?” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the dock, pulling you against him. “First kiss.” Mat’s muscles tensed, his jaw went tight and his fists closed- he hated the idea that this dock was anyone else’s special place with you. Okay, maybe it was a bit selfish, but he thought this was just a little secret between the two of you, and then this guy had to show up and ruin it? “Best first kiss a girl could get, huh?” He looked at you with a cheeky, smirk...

...But it wasn’t as cute as Mat’s.

“Yeah, it was good.” 

Mat knew it was stupid and unrealistic of him to think he’d always had you all to himself. You’d only known each other for that one summer, and had been separated for ten years, so of course, you eventually found someone other than him. But he couldn’t deny how much it pained his heart to know that somebody else had been closer to you than he had. To know that someone else had taken his place. To know that you weren’t even his to begin with. This guy had held you, kissed you, taken Mat off of your mind, and Mat hated how it felt to know that. “Cool, cool. Well, I think it’s time to head back for lunch, (y/n).”

“Ah, shit, really?” he pulled you tight against him in a quick side hug and kissed the top of your head. Part of you wished, for a moment, that he was Mat instead. “See ya. Remember, Friday!”

“Yep, Friday!” 

Mat couldn’t help but roll his eyes again, watching him leave. He came on this trip with you and you were ditching him for your ex? Shit, it was so tough being just your friend. “What’s Friday?” His voice came out more strained and forced than he wanted it to.

“A party with my old friends.”

“You’re going?”

“Yeah, they’re my friends, so why not?” Mat couldn’t help but feel a little bit betrayed, but he knew this was your vacation, and you were kind enough to invite him along, so he couldn’t tell you what you could and couldn’t do. Just friends, just friends, just friends, he told himself. 

“Well, I still get you to myself tomorrow, right? For your birthday?” 

“Of course you do. Why, are you planning something?”

“Duh, what else is a best friend for?” He pulled you against him to walk down the beach and you smiled at the familiar scent of him, the familiar warmth of his body. Being in his arms was so much better than being in Kyle’s arms. He shrugged, sucking up his pride to tease you about your ex-boyfriend. “Sooo... you and surfer dude, huh? Didn’t know you were into that type.” He laughed again, nudging you with his elbow and smirking. 

His smirk was a lot cuter than your ex’s. 

“Shut up!” You laughed at the teasing lilt in his voice. There was your Mat, happy and smiling. His heart lit up again. Yeah, he could make you laugh so much better than anyone else could. He would always take pride in that. “I know, I know, it’s embarrassing, but listen! We were only seventeen, he could drive already…”

“Ooh, sexy.”

“Mat!” 

“I’m serious, the ability to drive is pretty hot, right?”

You laughed, “Mat! I get it, I get it, it was a dumb summer fling, okay? There actually isn’t much more to him personality-wise. He’s not better than you.” 

“Of course he’s not.” As cocky as Mat played it off, he was really thankful. Thankful you still preferred him over your ex-boyfriend. Thankful he still held a special place in your head, in your heart, even, that no one else ever would. “I mean, have you seen me?”

“I have.” Your eyes skimmed the length of his body. You’d seen him, alright. “You wanna hit the waves before lunch?” You traced your fingers down his arm and grabbed his big hand in yours.

“How could I say no?”

So, with his hand in yours, you ran to the water, shedding the sheer cover-up you’d been wearing over your swimsuit and shrieking when the waves splashed up against you. As usual, Mat dared you to follow him out further than you would’ve like to have gone. The gleam in his eyes was something you weren’t unfamiliar with, the same gleam he got when he was beating you at a game or when you dared him to do something. He wasn’t one to back down until he won, and that was rubbing off on you. His confidence was rubbing off on you. Something about him made you feel so brave. 

“I’m guessing you’re not gonna tell me what we’re doing tomorrow?

“Of course not. It’s a surprise. What type of friend would I be if I gave away the surprise?” He dodged the water you splashed towards him and half hopped, half swam backward in the water. You had wadded out to an area that was deep enough for neither of you to be able to stand very well, and as much as you hated being out here, you felt safe as long as Mat was next to you. He splashed you back in retaliation only to be immediately hit from behind by a wave, laughing the whole time he went down at the shriek you let out when he got your hair wet. 

You laughed as he went under. “That’s what you get, Barzal!” After a few seconds without seeing him resurface, you started to worry, your breath caught in your throat. Should he have been up by now? Did he get the breath knocked out of him and couldn’t come up? Did he get pulled out further? “Mat? Mat, hey, where’d you go, buddy?” Your breath was shallow, your mind fuzzy, and your heartbeat quickened as you took a few strides forward, turning and glancing over the rippling surface of the water, trying to find any sign of him, any movement, any trace of his dark hair, but there was nothing. 

Not until a pair of arms underwater grabbed your waist from behind and lifted you. 

“Gotcha.”

He was still laughing, still teasing you, thinking he had just played a funny trick on you and you hadn’t been in the middle of freaking out and panicking that your best friend had probably drowned. 

“Shit, Mat. Oh my god.” You turned in his arms and pulled yourself against him, cheeks warming up at the feeling of his wet, bare skin against yours, his muscles taut, and his skin slick beneath your fingertips. He’s okay, he’s safe, he’s alive. You brought your hands up around his shoulders, pushing black strands of wet hair out of his eyes as he continued to laugh. You smacked his shoulder, suddenly angry that he would even joke about drowning. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. “You’re a dick! That wasn’t funny!”

Mat must have noticed the way your nails were digging into the flesh of his biceps, holding him for dear life with an urgent look in your eyes because he stopped laughing almost immediately when he noticed your concern. “Hey, hey.” His voice dropped to the gentle, reassuring tone that always made you emotional. The voice he broke out when you got hurt and he was there as a friend to pick up the pieces. The same voice he’d used all those years ago when you started crying over a crab he had thrown at you. “Look, I’m fine.”

“But I didn’t know that two seconds ago!”

“I’m sorry. I was just messing around. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know. I’m just glad you’re alive.” You took deep breaths, your head dropping to rest on his wet shoulder, your face pressed against the crook of his neck. It took you a few moments to understand how intimate this was: you were wrapped up together under the water, still in his arms with your feet listed off the sandy floor, pressed chest to chest with your arms wrapped over his shoulders. What you had intended to be a friendly hug became so much more when you were wet and weightless and almost bare, pressed against each other. You sighed and pulled back from him, dropping down to your feet but keeping your hands on his shoulders so stay still. He was your anchor out here. “You know, you don’t have to go pretending to drown just because you’re jealous of my ex and want my attention back.”

“What?” he scoffed, trying to play it off cool. Okay, maybe it was true that he was looking for a little bit of your attention, but he’d never admit that. Friends don’t get jealous of their friend’s ex-boyfriends. “I’m not jealous.” 

“Really? You didn’t seem like your friendly self when you were talking to him. And your eyes look pretty green right now, so I’d say that’s probably because of the green monster.” You teased, poking at his face.

“He’s your ex, do you want me to treat him like a friend?”

“Well, he was also my friend, so you don’t need to be so hostile towards him. But I get it. It’s okay to be jealous. I get jealous of your friends, sometimes.”

“You do? Why?”

“They’ve gotten to spend more time with you than I did. They probably mean a lot more. You have friends you’ve known for years, and I’m not one of them. We only knew each other that summer and then this past year. I wish we would’ve been friends longer.” 

“You don’t have to be jealous of them, though. I actually feel like we’ve known each other since then. I thought back to you a lot, wondering what you were up to...”

“Probably thinking of you.” You smiled, your heart swelling at the thought that between growing up and getting into the NHL, Mat still thought of you every now and then. “I feel so lucky to have found you” You closed your mouth, letting your words settle in the air between the two of you. “You don’t have to be jealous either. Kyle wasn’t that great. Not cooler than our time together.”

“No?” He added a chuckle to try and lighten the mood. “I thought he was the cool kid who could drive?”

“No.” You dropped your gaze to the ocean, turning away from Mat. “We may have had a little… romance thing, but he cheated on me.” Mat’s eyes went soft, his eyebrows furrowing up at the idea of you having your heart broken like that. He knew much too well what it felt like to be lied to and cheated on, so to imagine you suffering through that without him there to help pick up the pieces for you was too much. “Well, no,” You shook your head. “I guess he didn’t really cheat. Only kinda. It was just a summer fling to him, but I thought it was something more. I was just dumb and naive I guess.”

“Hey,” His hands lifted to your shoulders momentarily, turning you to look up at him. “That’s really shitty anyway. He hurt you.” 

“Yeah. He did. And you'd never hurt me.” Your fingers, much without your permission, glided down the lengths of his wet arms to cover his hands with yours. “See? You don’t need to be jealous. You’re so much cooler. You mean more to me than he ever did. Nothing- no one- can ever top that summer. No one can ever top how much you mean to me. You're my friend.” 

You both sat in uncomfortable silence, mutually hating that sentence. There was no way you were just friends. This wasn’t platonic at all.  Friends didn’t cuddle each other in motel rooms; friends didn’t hold each other underwater; friends didn’t daydream about making out with each other; friends didn’t get jealous of their friend’s exes; friends didn’t have hot, wet dreams about each other almost every night; friends didn’t nearly kiss every single day. So were you really just friends?

"Yeah." As much as Mat hated being "the friend", he was going to try his hardest to live up to that if that's what you wanted from him. And even if that’s all he’d ever be, he would learn to accept it. It was better than not having you at all. "I might even be your best friend ever, right?" 

"We'll see about that. You've got a lot of competition." He laughed with you. Oh, if only you know how much he didn't want to be your friend. If only he knew how much you wanted him to kiss you. 

 “Well, was that enough serious talk for today?”

“Yeah,” You huffed a sigh, brushing off the thoughts in your head. “I think it was.”

Your gaze dropped from those pretty hazel eyes, shimmering golden and green in the sunlight, across the immaculate structure of his cheekbones and jaw, right to his pretty pink lips. If only you could know what it felt like to have them against yours- would they be soft or rough?- to have his hot tongue in your mouth, his hands grabbing your waist, touching you all over, pulling you onto his lap. What you wouldn’t give to feel his mouth making it’s way down your body, leaving wet kisses and sucking on tender skin, leaving marks on your throat, your hips, the insides of your thighs. To feel his nose rub against you as his tongue dipped, lapped, caressed…

Mat watched you, the look in your eyes, all the walls about your past broken down, and at that very moment, he knew something. He would be your friend as long as you needed, he would be there for you to pick up the pieces and listen to your problems, he’d keep you safe, he’d do what a best friend should do. But, fuck. Fuck, he loved you. He loved you, he loved you, he loved you, and he wasn’t sure how long he could keep it to himself.  This was so bad. 

He broke apart from you, removing his hands from where they’d been resting on your shoulders under your own soft hands, taking a few strides back in the water, and trying to regain some platonic boundaries between the two of you. That was all you were, right? Friends.

“Woah, where are you running off too, Mat?” Your laugh rang in his ear, pretty and perfect, and you.

“I-” He gestured back to the shore. “I think lunch is ready onshore. I’m kinda hungry.”

“Alright.” You pressed your hand into his and his heart leaped at the simple affection. It’s not like you hadn’t held hands before, but this time it felt… different. “Let’s head back then, Maty.”

Damn it, you have me wrapped around your finger, babe.

The day passed much too quickly for either of your taste and before you knew it the sun was dipping low in the sky, signaling the end of your long day. You wanted to spend the rest of time here in the sun, your feet digging into the sandy bottom of the ocean with the waves splashing around you; you wanted to spend the rest of time wrapped up in each other’s arms, caught up in each other’s eyes, frozen in time as you held on for dear life in your own little bubble separate from the rest of the world; daydreaming about kissing and fingers running through each other’s hair. You wanted to spend the rest of time dreaming of holding each other without worrying that the other didn’t feel the same. 

But it wasn’t quite over yet.

You were sitting alone on the dock, working away at braiding the bracelet you were finishing up for Mat when you heard footsteps behind you and looked up to find him, his hair sun-dried and fluffy in the breeze and a fresh drink in his hand. “Wow, that’s really coming along, huh?” His voice was a blanket of familiarity washing over you. You would never get tired of hearing it.

“Yeah, it is.” You smiled up at him. “When you want something hard enough, you really gotta work for it.” You reached up to grab his empty hand, wrapping the bracelet around his wrist to see how much more you had to get done. Your fingers lingered on his skin for a few moments longer than they should have, and you both noticed the delicate change in atmosphere before you pulled away completely.

“You mind if I join you here?”

“Anytime, Mat.”

So he sat down next to you, watching the colors fade from the sky and dipping his toes in the water with you and closing his eyes in pure bliss. You were both warm and smelled of saltwater and sunscreen, your breath tasting of the lemonade you had had after dinner, and whatever alcoholic drink Mat was currently sipping on; your cheeks and nose were still slightly rosy from the sun, faces hurting from smiling and laughing too much with him. If this wasn’t the perfect recreation of your first family trip with him all those years ago, you weren’t sure what was. 

Everything was soft and quiet until Mat spoke up from next to you. “You know, sunsets on the east coast aren’t that cool.”

“Ouch!” You mocked offense, bringing a hand to your heart. ”Wow, I invite you on this vacation with me and all you can do is insult it? I’ll rethink ever bringing you back.” He threw his head back in a cackle- the one you loved so much.

“No, I just mean… it’s cooler seeing the sunset over the ocean, don’t you think?” 

You shrugged. “I don’t know, don’t really wanna inflate your ego any more.”

He chuckled a bit more, always a welcomed sound in your ears. “Guess I gotta take you out west then, try to convince you.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. I’ll take you to Vancouver with me when I go home. We can head to the beach from there. My mom would love to meet you.” 

“You told your parents about me?”

“Of course. I told them all about you after we caught up. They remember you, they even still have pictures of us somewhere. They’d love you.” 

There was something about that moment... He was shirtless, the sun was going down behind him and casting a pretty halo around his head, his eyes held yours intensely, with unanswered questions. You tried to ignore the way his skin glistened in the light, the way his thick thighs were spreading out deliciously as he sat, the way you were sitting so close to him that the outside of your bare thigh was touching his, the way you were leaning back on your hands with your pinky loosely tangled with his. There was something about that moment, talking about his family and how much they’d love to meet you, how there are still pictures floating around of you and Mat as children, of the one summer that changed everything for you. There was something about that moment that almost had you leaning in.  

“Kids, we’re heading home!”

You turned away from him quickly, scooting your leg away and pulling your hand from his. Maybe hearing your mother’s voice was what pulled you back into reality. You couldn’t kiss him. Not now.

“Yeah, yeah!!” You pulled yourself up off the dock, extending a hand to help Mat up, and smiling when his big palm touched yours, warm and soft. “We’re coming!” 

This wasn’t how you wanted the day to end, but maybe it was for the best.

You could break the boundaries of friendship, push the limits to your relationship with Mat, stick your toe in and test the waters, but was it worth it? Maybe you should just try to avoid your feelings for him. Maybe it would be best to suffer in silence for the rest of your life. Shove those feelings down inside of you and swallow your words only to spend your nights dreaming of how it would feel to sleep next to him, to roll over into his arms. Maybe it was best to love him from afar. Rather that than ruin what was an amazing friendship. 

Right?

[punz4lyfe]

Pokemon Journeys Episode 58 Review

Pokemon Journeys Episode 58. Let’s review:

Another 2-story filler episode, and I’m gonna be honest, just like the last one, it was kinda boring. The first story basically involved Ash and Goh saying stupid stuff and getting into a stupid situation involving a group of Hoenn Mons. Y’know, just like the last one with the Marshtomp. The overall plot of rolling up into a massive ball of destruction was just super uninteresting. In fact, Chowder did that plot far more better years ago. This just makes me miss the good ole’ filler Sun and Moon had to offer, where they changed the formula as much as they could to give us new and interesting things, like that one pancake race.

Speaking of racing, the second story was kinda annoying to get through. Meowth’s entire commentary of translating all the Pokemon was just unneeded considering there were no humans around. Just give the Pokemon subtitles or have the narrator translate over them as they talked, just as the anime has done before. The only notable thing I remotely liked was the expressive Blastoise pyramid, but that only lasted for a few frames.

Overall, I’d give this episode a 4/10. Next episode we’re finally getting Grookey’s debut. People constantly debate and argue over whether Ash or Goh should get Grookey for their team, but considering we’re past the 50-episode mark of the series, I’m just glad we can finally get the freakin’ Galar Grass Starter in the anime already. Seriously writers, why would you wait this long?

[infizero]

“Star” Teaser Analysis

(disclaimer: this is less of an “analysis” and more of a “pointing out possible connections to past lore without really theorizing on what it could mean” since im not good at coming up with actual theories ;;)

Well, I wasn’t expecting Loona to drop a teaser out of nowhere, but here we are! Even in this short teaser we can see that the lore is continuing from Why Not. Analysis under the cut!

ok so first off, the pairings we get in the group shot are very interesting. we get a close-up of everyone. first is chuu and go won:

who have obviously been paired together before via their scenes in so what:

as well as just both being members of yyxy. (although during why not they weren’t in the same subunit)

next, we have jinsoul and kim lip:

aside from both being members of OEC, them in particular out of the 3 are connected, as they worked together in love cherry motion to lure choerry to cosmos/the middle world (jinsoul leaving the cherry & kim lip using the flashing mirror thing)

^^^ (seen in the “reveal” teaser)

^^^ (kim lip is seen in the LCM field in the “reveal” teaser so this is most likely her)

anyways, then we have the final group before we go to solo shots of the girls sitting by themselves; olivia hye, yves, and heejin:

heejin and yves don’t have any particular connections as far as I know, (let me know of anything if there is!) but olivia has connections to both yves and heejin. let’s start with yves.

obviously they’re both members of yyxy, but as most of you know, it runs deeper than that. i’ll try to summarize since there’s a lot to their relationship.

the lyrics of egoist seem to imply that olivia trusted yves at one point (and perhaps even loved her), but something happened that severed their bond, known only as “letting her fall” - it’s unclear if that’s literal or a metaphor for something else, but the important thing is that olivia gained a deep-seated anger (what she in yyxy represents as seen in “one”) towards yves.

(this possibly led to olivia killing vivi in order to hurt yves, but that’s a whole other theory, let’s get back on track lol)

anyways, in hi high, we see olivia being reluctant to join the rest of loona, but eventually she jumps down from eden after seeing yves smiling up at her from earth, so it seems in the end olivia forgave yves for whatever happened.

they seem to be on good terms, since olivia is literally resting her head on yves’ shoulder, but if this is the same altered timeline as why not, then it’s possible that in this timeline nothing bad ever happened between them.

we get a rehash of egoist in why not, but it only parallels the aesthetics of that mv - it’s unclear if olivia was doing what she was doing because of drama with yves like in the og predebut timeline or for some other reason.

anyways, what matters is they are connected. now let’s move onto heejin.

olivia and heejin are ALSO pretty obviously connected. heejin is the first girl to be revealed, and olivia is the last. they meet at the end of egoist:

and have been seen to parallel each other during the likes of so what and other material. while heejin is often interpreted to be some kind of god-figure in the loonaverse, a force of good, olivia is often made out to be the bad guy - burning the moon in so what, refusing to join the rest of loona in hi high, etc. this can also be seen in their outfits - heejin in white, olivia in black.

anyways, that’s enough about olivia. let’s get back to the teaser. after getting close ups of all the girls in the first group shot, we get this:

a shot of two hands separating, a close up of heejin opening her eyes, and a shot of heejin waking up in a bed of pillows and looking around. now what does this remind you of?

that’s right - it’s egoist babey!! you thought we were done with olivia? HAH

ok, on a more serious note. this clearly parallels the opening of egoist in which we get a shot of hands (which from promo pictures we know to be yves and olivia’s) separating, and then olivia opens her eyes and wakes up on a matress.

it also seems to somewhat parallel olivia’s appearance in the XIIIX teaser, where she wakes up at the bottom of a staircase.

back to the star teaser, we then get this shot:

from the blurry reflection im gonna tenatively say this is hyunjin, but it could also be choerry. or who knows, maybe it’s both! they are counterparts after all.

(if it is choerry, it’s interesting that we’re getting her staring at her reflection again - perhaps another appearance of the other choerry from the flipped side of the mobius strip?)

we then see go won standing in front of the same window, looking somewhat surprised or intrigued. go won has connections to both hyunjin and choerry, so either one makes sense.

go won made the bracelet that the cat delivers to hyunjin in around you, as seen in see saw when she completes it and gives to said cat:

(along with a cat also appearing in go won’s solo mv one&only)

go won also set out a table for choerry in her castle, as seen by the cherries on the plate in one&only. choerry also directly appears in the one&only mv, delivering an apple to go won by yves:

so whether it’s hyunjin or choerry, the connection makes sense.

after go won’s window shot, we get a shot of chuu sitting on the floor. this seems to be one of many “filler shots” - there for the mv, not the lore. all loona mvs have them - most dance breaks, any shots where they’re singing directly to the camera, etc. i will be skipping these since i dont see any lore significance in them - if you or someone else does, great! i probably just missed it lol

anyways, the next shot i want to talk about is the one right after the chuu one.

we see heejin walking into a circle with the other members. there aren’t any connections i can think of so to speak, (other than the fact that heejin is standing beside hyunjin and olivia, both whom have connections with her) but we get another shot of this scene after one of heejin amongst the stars.

satanic ritual with the girls xoxoxo

ok but in all seriousness, i feel like this post has significance. loona is no stranger to magic (1/3 literally cast an “arcane spell of love” to rescue yeojin in sonatine), so it’s possible that they are doing some sort of spell or something.

 the pattern on the ground seems to resemble the sun, but knowing loona’s long-standing connections with the moon, and the burning moon in why not that appeared to be the sun, this could also be the moon; specifically, the moon after olivia set it on fire in so what.

perhaps they’re trying to “heal” it/return it back to normal? we see them dancing on the (perfectly ok) moon in why not, so perhaps this scene takes place between the burning moon scenes in why not and the moon dancing scenes? who knows.

another big thing i noticed is that they’re organized by subunit AND reveal order!!!

if you start at heejin and go counter-clockwise around the circle, they’re all in reveal order!!! 

heejin -> hyunjin -> yeojin -> vivi -> kim lip -> jinsoul -> choerry -> yves -> chuu -> go won -> olivia hye

that’s just... so cool to see aksjgjkagshjk ;;;

ok let’s continue. 

this next shot (aside from being really cool, im sure this is gonna become plenty of people’s headers lol) sort of reminds me of the og midnight festival teaser image. idk, maybe it’s just the twinkly stars and chuu looking back at the camera. as a sidenote, the arrangement of the girls in this shot doesn’t seem to have any meaning.

we get a bunch of filler shots of the girls (looking stunning as always!!) and then we get THIS:

ONCE AGAIN, HEEJIN & OLIVIA!!! this was the first scene in the teaser to actually make me squeal out loud lol. 

this part seems to signify what’s been shown before - heejin and olivia are parallels, counterparts, opposites. heejin is the first girl; she is light, good, regal and godly. olivia is the last girl; dark, “evil”, lowly and broken.

i find their expressions interesting. heejin once again has this very regal look about her, and while olivia gazes directly at her, heejin is focused on their touching hands. she looks almost.... bored. it gives me this sense of like “ugh, i cant believe im having to associate with HER” kinda vibe. idk, maybe that’s just me.

olivia on the other hand doesn’t seem to have any sort of distaste in her expression, she just has this focused, intent look towards heejin. i wonder if there’s any significance in the fact that olivia is looking right at heejin, while heejin avoids eye contact and instead looks at their hands?

a few filler shots later, and we get this one with yeojin and go won:

the first thing i thought of when i saw this was that part in the “#3″ teaser for so what with go won and chuu:

although it’s interesting to note that while in that shot, both go won and chuu turn around to peek at the camera, in this one, only yeojin turns her head while go won stays faced away.

at first i was a little confused, since connections between yeojin and go won didn’t immediately pop to mind. but then i remembered a connection between them i had been thinking about literally like a week ago - they’re both princesses!

go won seems to live in some sort of castle in one&only and is repeatedly seen with crown imagery or actual crowns:

yeojin’s princess imagery is a bit less obvious, but she wears a white dress with a tiara and is seen dreaming about princes and becoming a princess.

there’s also some theory that states that this flower thing yeojin wears on her chest in her main outfit for the mv is supposed to represent royalty IRL or something like that (i dont remember)

so there is a connection there, even if they haven’t really interacted one-on-one before.

after the shot of yeojin and go won, we get this shot:

choerry’s divorced moms

KFJSKGHJ OK IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, why do they look so.... passive aggressive?? they’re not smiling, they’re just staring at each other in this relaxed yet oddly confrontational way...

we’ve already gone over their connection, but i wanted to leave this in since i feel it has significance of some sort.

after a shot of hyunjin’s hair blowing in some unseen wind, we return to the first group shot, with them all admiring the floating stars together, and that’s where the teaser ends.

Whew! That was a lot! I’m sorry this got so long, once I started analyzing there was more than I thought there was.

Please reblog or reply with your own observations or theories, I’d love to hear them! I’m very excited to see what this new MV brings us this Wednesday!

- infizero

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 73 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch and co. are still stuck in China and Xingke’s flipping out because the Chinese assholes are gonna kill the Empress and go with someone less problematic for their political marriage to Britannia’s creepily overaged prince. However Lelouch pulls out a Knightmare that’s basically the Twink version of the Gawain and busts everyone up as well as pulling a Father Cornello on them and letting the people know they’re all elitst 1% assholes that don’t care about them, which I suspect all countries probably know about their leaders but it sucks to hear it in a recording so riots show up all over China and CC Geass Flashes Anya to take her out so Britannia has to back out because the Chinese Hierarchy are now the least popular people in the world. So Xingke gets to be with his Empress and joins the Black Knights but Dietard wants the Empress to marry someone on their side so they can basically do the asshole move Britannia just tried to do but for them. All the girls are like ‘hey no’ and Lelouch is like “Oh hey Tamaki buddy, let’s go talk and get me the fuck out of here” so before Lelouch actually has to give Tamaki more lines and elevate him beyond the Black Knight’s Yamacha Shirley calls and Lelouch just straight up asks Shirley about love in a weirdly forced series of circumstance. But Shirley’s like “Yeah don’t fuck with love, don’t you love anyone?” and Lelouch is like “Yeah I do, Nunally!” and I don’t think that’s at all what Shirley meant but it does mean Lelouch sees that fighting for something beyond politics is powerful and agrees to not marry off the twelve year old girl, so that’s good. Lelouch decides to return home while they hunt down the Geass cult which is in China for some reason despite that being one of the like two places on earth Britannia doesn’t control and the Geass Cult largely being a Britannian affair. Meanwhile Sayoko is basically a Lelouch Vtuber at this point with her insanely accurate Lupin III mask of Lelouch and kisses Shirley so Shirley’s a little bit more gay than she was before and is not sure how to feel about that. When she’s about to tell the real Lelouch he kisses like a girl, Anya and Gino show up because we’re retreading the whole ‘sleeping with the enemy at school’ thing from the first season except with way less interesting enemies. Also the preview for the next episode is Lelouch dramatically talking about enemies finding out he’s Zero overtop footage of Shirley and Milly absolutely naked in a batthouse scene so I think we know what kind of episode that’ll be.

Inuyasha: The Panther Demon filler concludes with everyone meeting at the site where the Panther Master is being revived behind a strong barrier, if only someone just got a barrier upgrade to their sword, oh wait. But yeah everyone manages to free the hostages so even though Kagome’s jewel shards revives the Panther Master he’s still a zombie without a sacrifice which is weird since Naraku managed to completely revive the Band of Seven with one jewel shard each from skeletons and the Panther Lord has three shards so idk the rules here but yeah he steals the souls of his own men to revive and is Wind Scar Proof because he just is. It’s pretty cool to see him shooting his claws and lightning and shit but he’s too big and slow for it to be much of an interesting fight. Sesshomaru’s about to go full demon which would be interesting since we haven’t seen his full demon form since he lost his arm but in a neat bit of character development, Tenseiga calms his rage and tells him to use it instead. You get the feeling Sesshomaru only goes full demon when he flies off the handle and forgets about speed and strategy so him opting to not repeat the mistake he made against Inuyasha is pretty cool. Anyway Tenseiga heals the souls of the Panther Demons and drains their energy from the lord so he’s back to Zombie Cat Man which Inuyasha can Wind Scar because that’s what happens to villains on this show, all Wind Scars all the time. The Panthers don’t wanna fight anymore since their boss just killed them and tell Inuyasha to tell Sesshomaru the feud is over and they’re going back to the West. Honestly this is basically the same backstory they gave Kirinmaru in Yashahime so it’s funny for them to say they’re going back to the same place Kirinmaru is from, wonder if it’ll ever come up in Yashahime since most filler seems canon there.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Yusuke and Kuwabara continue the assault on Tarukane’s compound and basically plow through the lower demons easy since they’ve been fighting minor deities up to this point. It’s always pretty cool in Shonen to just have a few rounds to show how much power creep the heroes have had where certain things just don’t bother them anymore. Toguro murders a Chimera which has an oddly similar backstory to Nina from FMA and he seems really bummed about it but he’s like “Hey we’re both monsters made by humans telling us to do shit, so sorry for killing you bro”. And Tarukane basically sees Toguro is the next boss and is like “Yup time to scam some people off of this” and he sets up a betting ring for how far Yusuke and Co will get into his compound. This is kinda neat because it puts Tarukane in the weird position of betting against his own guards and hoping Yusuke will make it all the way to Toguro and then lose after everyone else has seen how awesome Yusuke is and bets on him. And funnily enough Sakyo’s in on the betting and he’s watched anime before so he knows to bet on the plucky teenagers with weird powers. So yeah Yusuke and Kuwabara finish plowing through the demons while Hiei kinda stalks them and remembers getting his eye surgery and wanting to help his sister but it’s kind of against spirit world rules for demons to just go plow through humans even if they’re scumbag humans so now Yusuke and Kuwabara have to go fight the Triad of boss demons Toguro has under him before Hiei busts in and just murders everyone for kidnapping his bird-loving jewel-crying little flower of a sister.

Fate Zero: So Kiritsugu can break Kayneth’s Terminator 2 Gaara defenses with rib bullets that just say ‘no’ to using magic and fucks his arrogant ass up. Saber and Lancer do some combo shenanigans to stab Caster right in the book and disrupt all his hentai tentacle demons but the book heals so idk why he can’t just make more. Kirei fucks up Maiya and Iris but didn’t double tap Maiya and DID double tap iris but she’s got Saber’s bullshit healing scabbard on her which no one knows about so Saber’s like “uhhh why are you healing” and Iris can’t tell her so she’s basically “Uhh internet?” Lancer comes in to save Kayneth’s worthless ass and tells Kiritsugu to stop being a dick to Saber because she’s pretty dope. But as usual for an early Fate encounter, no one dies and nothing of terrible consequence happens despite it being teased a couple times. I’ve noticed a trend with Fate that it really doesn’t like killing characters early so you’re basically guaranteed to have the first 2-3 major battles have a zero net gain/loss. Rider in UBW was probably the subversion to that since it happened crazy fast and anticlimactic but even that wasn’t till like ten episodes in.

Konosuba: So we finally meet Wiz the big booby Lich and Kazuma learns a new skill, both fun things. Also the gang gets a house to stay in after escapades with an army of haunted dolls and the most “I need to pee” in a horror setting since Corpse Party. But yeah, good progress this time honestly, the living in a stable gag was getting kind of old so Kazuma’s a bit stronger now and they have a home base so that’s pretty cool. Also Wiz is a Demon General or some shit but no one cares cause there ain’t no money in murdering busty zombie waifus.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So turns out Minako is Princess Serenity, except everyone who knows anything about Sailor Moon or indeed plot structure knows Sailor Moon is Princess Serenity, that’s like the Luke I Am Your Father of this series. But still turns out Minako has been guiding everyone with the power of video games but also thinks the power of friendship sucks and she’s gotta go do everything alone. This makes things super awkward because Mamoru’s pretty sure he was in love with the Princess but likes Usagi, now instead of running with this interesting thread of a reincarnation falling in love with someone new we’re gonna do the reveal that Usagi’s the princess and the whole ‘till death do us part’ part of marriage was just a metaphor and you’re stuck with one person no matter how many times you reincarnate. But yeah, Minako fights the bad guy on top of the tower but he has Naraku’s Barrier now and Minako doesn’t have the Red Tessaiga upgrade yet so she needs the power of friendship but this barrier is friendship-proof and this fight is basically a bunch of kids on the playground making up increasingly stupid powers that negate the other powers the other guy just made up. Anyway Tuxedo Mask shows up and is like “Holy shit Sailor Moon I love when you kiss me and kick ass, go get em sweetie I’ll hold your flower” and they kiss and Usagi has learned that if she just pretends she got this the power of her confidence will beat the bad guy. Unfortunately she does not got this and Tuxedo Mask has to pull a Piccolo and throw himself in front of the blast.

Durarara!!:  So now that we’ve had our climax for the arc we have a six month timeskip and everyone’s just kinda living life, Mika and Seiji are being clinically insane together, there’s cops harassing Celty to the point of mental breakdown (normal cop stuff) Shinra’s dad’s in town, Namie’s become Izaya’s secretary for blackmail shit, you know, normal stuff. Also there’s a katana-wielding maniac going around slashing people and Anri’s being bullied and sexually harassed to the point of mental collapse, normal stuff.

[sketch-rambles]

I’ve apparently consumed enough X-Men Evo and Kodd content recently that it has infiltrated my dreams. Highlights from last night include:

- ghosts but not really

- soft Todd being a little stupid and man do I love him

- why is Todd on the moon

- Kurt in a crop top

- mutant named Careless Whisper

I wrote out more details under the cut. This was a wild enough dream that I wasn’t even mad I overslept.

Inside of what may or may not have been meant to be the X Mansion, but was certainly smaller and shabbier, there was a large room with glass walls that would occasionally show flickering figures. Some nights, the figures solidified, although their image was still ghostly. It was determined that this was a procession of the potential dead, mimicking their way through one last facsimile of life before passing on.

There were multiple phases to this final ghostly display, most notable of which was a dancing procession that looped around the ring of the room. Each person danced in their individual groups of 3 or 4, with people determined to be their soulmates—not romantic, per say, but people who had important places in their heart and life. Some of these people appeared to be filler images, concocted either because the person’s loved ones were not dead, or because they had no such people.

I watched from the dream-bestowed form of an unknown mutant who would later solidify into a character dubbed Careless Whisper. She had perfect mimicry abilities that resulted in a constantly fluctuating accent and could disconnect her consciousness at will to travel relatively freely, leaving her unconscious body behind for a time, so long as the consciousness remained grounded to something else. I do not know her name. We will call her Cera.

Cera watched with a deep, aching sadness as the procession of the dead progressed around the ring. Perhaps she knew Todd, as she watched him closer than any other, but it is more likely she recognized in him a scared young man who life had wronged, and her heart ached with the knowledge that few would mourn his passing.

Also present among the potential ghosts was Kurt. The two danced in separate groups, but the groups were next to each other. As Cera watched, Todd’s ghost seemed to gain awareness of his situation, to understand that this was a final lilting waltz before death, and he removed himself from his group to approach Kurt. Kurt danced hand-in-hand with the faded image of a girl who might not have even been real. Rather than come between the dance, Todd wrapped his arms around Kurt’s middle from behind and leaned his head against Kurt’s back, a final embrace before inevitability claimed them. Kurt faltered, his hands coming to rest on Todd’s arms. The smiling girl did not react, and her hands remained outstretched as though Kurt were still holding them.

The dancing came to a close, and the souls gathered before what I believe was Mystique, rallying the dead for some unknown cause. But before anything else could be revealed, the images flickered out as the door to the house banged open to reveal an alive but also very sick Todd. By the time Cera made her way over, Todd was already being lambasted with questions from a handful of other mutants. Cera forced her way through the crowd and insisted that they could interrogate Todd after checking to make sure he was okay. Todd seemed genuinely surprised that someone was showing him actual concern, but he didn’t protest.

Anyway turns out the idiot had accidentally eaten, like, poisoned sausages or something and that’s why he was gonna die. He threw up in a glass cup Cera grabbed for him (I think an old kitchen had been turned into a makeshift infirmary) and slept it off and then he was fine. Literally that was it that’s all it took, he stopped showing up in the glass after that.

Cera basically adopted a begrudging Todd as her younger brother, because I’m apparently obsessed with the idea of Todd having siblings that care about him, and then they went on a bunch of hijinks and whatever together. This is where the dream got hazier but they DID end up vandalizing the moon at one point. Todd somehow found a portal that led there and Cera just linked her consciousness to his presence and so badda-bing badda-boom, moon time.

Eventually Cera did confirm that Todd had a HUGE crush on Kurt, and she apparently had taken a video of the ghostly dance, and so they embarked on a quest to save Kurt from some unknown peril. I woke up just as they were about to figure out what was up with that, but I do recall that Kurt was just casually wearing a crop top, one of those kinds that looks like it was once a sporty shirt with drawstrings, and lemme tell you, Todd.exe stopped responding for a little bit.

If you read this far… why, but also thank you? Feel free to use this as fic inspiration, just tag me so I can read it because I crave Kodd content.

[werewolfpropaganda]

Sébastien - Male Werewolf x Male Reader

not sfw. 4886 words. you meet and fall in love with werewolf and busker, sébastien.

You missed seeing the stars. 

You missed seeing the stars deeply — a horribly indescribable feeling you felt deep in your core everytime you looked up at the night sky — because Manhattan had no stars. It hadn’t had stars for a long time, and it probably never would. 

Growing up in rural suburbia had few pluses, but at the very least there was space. Between the lack of restaurants, idealistic white picket fences, and families with two-and-a-half children, there were glimpses of beauty: picturesque forests, a wide open sky, and the stars. You used to go stargazing just about every week with your father well into adolescence (and partly into adulthood), until he died and left you with this mess. You moved to the city, and, well, here you are.

You looked out onto your balcony. It would have been a good spot for stargazing. Only 22 and you were living the American Dream: renting an apartment with an okay view of the adjacent building and a shittily constructed fire escape. You felt like it could collapse at any moment and you would get to recreate “Fire on Marlborough Street.” Truly the American Dream.

It was time for your daily walk. Despite the fact that you lived in Manhattan, you never left your apartment except for work and this walk. You had no real friends and Upper Manhattan was basically just banks and pharmacies, anyway. 

You lived within walking distance of the park, so your routine was partially through there. You put on a jacket and left, not completely sure that you locked the door. 

There was a guy playing the violin about six feet from where you were sitting, and he looked to be about your age. He was really good at what he did, playing a song that sounded nothing like the Suzuki viola books you played from as a child. You never learned the names of any classical composers so you guessed. Debussy? Bach? Vivaldi? Who knows?

He had an open case next to his boots, with about 20 dollars in various amounts. There was also a small card linking to his social media. You pulled up his Instagram, and, well, you hated to admit it, but he was really attractive. In all the pictures, his hair was styled into a wavy bun, although in real life his hair was down. He was currently wearing a bomber jacket and black jeans, and he was fit. Not fit enough to be gross, but in a casual way where you pretend to not care about how you look but you really do.

You dropped five bucks into his case. He looked at you and smiled a cute smile. You smiled back, and then tried to hide it by speaking. “That’s so beautiful. How long have you been playing the violin?” you asked.

“This is a viola,” He stated back, ceasing the music and holding his viola out. He ran his hand down the back of it like that meant anything to you.

“Shit,” You recalled when you played viola as a teenager. Anger was the only emotion you could feel when people called the instrument the wrong name, even though it was a pretty benign mistake. For a split second, you considered telling this to him, but doing that felt like it would make the situation about you and, subsequently, worse. You decided on a simple: “I’m sorry. Fuck.”

“Hey hey hey, you’re fine, darling,” He responded warmly. No one had called you a pet name in a long time. “Most people don’t apologize. Some people argue with me, as if, no, Sébastien, you’ve lost it and you’re actually playing a violin,” You laughed. “I’m Sébastien, by the way.”

French. That was a gross first thought you had, but he was indeed French. You told him your name.

“Oh, I love that. I’m going to apologize for snapping.”

“Sébastien, it’s so totally fine. I know the feeling of people assuming the instrument you play,” Apparently you were going to tell him. Okay. 

“I must say, it’s always violinists,” Sébastien said. 

“Oh my god, I so fucking know!” You unconsciously stamped your feet into the dirt to let out the emotion you were feeling.

“I hate violinists.”

“Hate ‘em. So stuck up.”

“I know. I actually used to play the violin religiously, but then my teacher told me I would have better luck finding a job if I played viola because there were so many violinists. Guess what, I can’t get an orchestral job anyway,” You both laughed. “I do think viola jokes are funny though.”

“Wait,” You said with a bit too much excitement. “What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?”

You could tell Sébastien knew the joke about halfway through, because he smiled and tried to hide it. “The coffin has the dead person on the inside. I love that one.” He laughed. 

You talked for what felt like an hour — about your musical experiences and upbringings and hobbies and pretty much everything — although it was realistically a lot longer. Sébastien was born in France and moved here when he was young, and has been trying to do music ever since. It was still midday when you went out to walk and it was dark now. You stared at him illuminated by a streetlight that didn’t particularly flatter his face, but he still looked good. 

“Would you…” Sébastien hesitated and spoke quietly. “Would you want to get coffee with me?” 

You smiled. “Hell yes, dude!” Your mind flooded with first date spots. “There’s this really cute place by my apartment we can stop by now and then we could probably go starga-” You abruptly stopped and looked at him. Sébastien’s lips were pursed. Fuck. There aren’t any stars in Manhattan. 

“Sure, darling!” He got down and put the money from his case into his bag. He started to put his viola away. “I’ve been busking for a while now and believe it or not fingerless gloves don’t warm you up all that much.” Sébastien paused. “Although maybe no stargazing.”

You felt the smile on your face start to lower. You hadn’t even noticed you were smiling until now. “Not even for the fuck of looking at an empty night sky except for the moon and the beeps of a satellite?”

“It’s like a metaphor.” He picked the case up and looked up at the sky for slightly too long. “Alright, I’m just gonna say it.” He’s a murderer. He’s already murdered you and you’re a ghost. This is the afterlife: talking to a conventionally attractive viola player.

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I’m a werewolf.” He didn’t necessarily look ashamed but you could tell he wasn’t exactly confident in what he was saying.

You had never actually met a werewolf, because the suburbs had no diversity and you never left your apartment. You actually did quite like werewolf porn, but admitting that you had both never seen a werewolf in real life and fetishized their existence would make you look really weird. “Nice.” You were excited. 

You had been seeing Sébastien for about a week now, and were about to go through with your promise of coffee and shitty stargazing. The coffee place had been closed the first time because it was too late, so you tried again earlier. You deliberately planned this for the full moon, and, although you told yourself you wanted to feel guilty about setting up the date for werewolf sex, you didn’t. You could feel guilty after he pumped his jizz into you for the first time.

“Hey, Yasmeen,” you said. “I love your new hijab.” You really did. Yasmeen’s hijab was eggshell white with small gold stars. 

“Thanks, love. You’re paying for it. Literally. You’re buying my coffee and thus paying my salary.” She chuckled and motioned to Sébastien. “Who’s the piece of ass?”

“Aren’t you in a relationship? And gay?”

“I’m like an illiterate nun, love.”

“Right…?”

“I can look at the menu, I just can’t order.” 

“God, Yasmeen.” She laughed at herself again. “Anyway, I’ll have a black coffee and one of those stupid little sandwiches, and Sébastien’s gonna have a pumpkin spice latte.”

“Sébastien? French.”

“I know, right?” You said this a little bit louder than you should have.

“He has some audacity asking for a pumpkin spice latte in early January, especially since this isn’t a Starbucks.”

“Just make it for him.”

“Alright, love.” She put her hands up to indicate innocence. “You’re not normally this snappy.”

“He’s hot. And interesting.”

“Fair enough.” Yasmeen got to work making your drinks, and you sat down across from Sébastien. It was a communal style table, which felt strange for such a small place, and the lighting was slightly too yellow to be flattering. You and Sébastien were probably the last customers. He was typing into a document when you sat down, and promptly put his phone away. 

“Do you know them?” Sébastien asked. 

“Yeah, actually,” you responded. “Yasmeen used to live in the apartment above me and we met like it was La Bohème. I actually used to call her Mimi until she eventually told me she didn’t like it.”

“Huh. Did she need to light a candle?”

“You know it.”

Sébastien gazed down to your chest for a second, before reinstating eye contact. “Wait, am I just being used as cannon fodder to boost the popularity of your friend’s cafe? Do you take men and force them to pay 10 dollars for coffee and a sandwich? Daily? Shame, darling, shame.”

“You aren’t the first man to realize that, Sébastien, although you are the first man to realize that on the third date.”

“And you just tell them when they find out? You must get a lot of wrong numbers.” He laughed a gross laugh — hearty, somehow accented with French, and you felt the vibrations of it just by touching the table — but you enjoyed it nonetheless. 

Yasmeen walked over. “Here is your black coffee,” She said, placing the drinks down. “And here’s your pumpkin latte, love. The sandwich will be out in a bit.” Sébastien looked at you with an empty, but seemingly loving stare, his lips pursed, before turning and thanking Yasmeen. Yasmeen walked away mouthing something to you. You assumed this was her approval, but assuming doesn’t get anyone anywhere. 

“Thank you so much for ordering the coffee, darling,” he said with a smile. The way he said “darling” felt less like a filler pet name tacked on at the end of the sentence and more like a deliberate choice. 

“Hell yeah, dude! It’s payback for the photos you sent me. Also because I love you.” Sébastien had sent you a few pictures of him in his werewolf form before your date with the attached message “I love you!!” That was the first love confession you had received in a while. He used more exclamation marks then you expected, but it was really cute. 

The first thing you noticed when you opened the picture was his sense of aesthetic — sensible, if not a bit too minimalist. The second thing you noticed were his eyes, which were far more yellow than his human form. His fangs protruded out far further than most of the werewolves you’ve seen, his fur was mostly gray except for his white chest and tummy, and he was fluffy as shit. The only thing he didn’t show you was his cock, which you asked him to save for today.

“I love you too,” he said in a soft and light tone, which made you feel one too many emotions. 

“I swear,” You said with a whisper and a lack of inhibition. “When I got to the last photo, the mirror selfie, I literally had to put my phone down because I was just like… that’s so hot.” He was wearing a pair of black boxer-briefs that didn’t do a great job of hiding his erection in the photo. “I saw your bed in the background and it shocked me how huge you were compared to it.”

“I’m not actually that tall in werewolf form, despite being 6 foot in real life. Most werewolves are, say, a foot larger.”

“Really?”

“I… I feel like that’s kinda common knowledge.”

You took a sip of your coffee. It was disgusting. You erred on the side of caution as you said: “What do you mean?”

“Have… have you never seen a werewolf before?”

You laughed, not because anything was particularly funny, or awkward, or even to relieve anxiety. You just laughed to have the noise out there. “Um..”

“Oh, God.”

“No.”

“WHAT.” Sébastien laughed, not deliriously or angrily but in pity. That isn’t what you were expecting. “How have you not… you did go to a shitty public school, huh?”

You were drinking coffee just to do something, and took a large gulp before speaking again. “I will not blame my upbringing on my ignorance, but yes.”

“Question, when do werewolves come out?”

“The full moon.”

“Really, darling?” He pitied you. “Were you born in the 1800s? How much funding did your health class get?”

“I didn’t have a health class.”

“Okay…” He rubbed his temples light-heartedly, you hoped. “Do you know what a period is?”

“Like… blood?”

“No, a werewolf period.”

“Explain.”

“This is common knowledge. This is what you learn when the kid you’re babysitting turns into a werewolf and you don’t realize so you call the hospital.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s my duty to explain this to you. Your information about what werewolves are is really wrong. You’re getting it from, like… fringe articles about the Dendera light bulb. People become werewolves for a few days a month.”

“Okay…?”

“Like a period cycle.”

You smiled, because you found a way to turn your anti-werewolf slight into horrible flirting. “I don’t think I understand. I might need hands-on experience. With a werewolf.”

Sébastien raised one eyebrow. “...Oh, thank fucking god, you’re just flirting.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“Yeah, of course I’ll show you, darling. I’ll do anything if you don’t scare me like that again.”

The full moon was going to come out, but it’s not like that mattered, because apparently werewolves aren’t controlled by the moon. Okay. Whatever. The sky had nothing else to offer you, anyway.

Sébastien put his viola case at the base of your bed and sat down. “I love your place, by the way,” he said. “You have a fire escape?”

“Those things are death traps,” you responded, laughing and putting your black coffee in the fridge. You would never end up drinking it and only through it out 2 months later to make place for Thai food. “I’m way too anxious about it to step on it.”

“You’re not that high up,” Sébastien said with an abrupt pause. He pursed his lips. “Not suggesting you risk your safety if you don’t want to. Just-”

“Nah, I get you.” You sat down next to him and took his hand. “God, I love you.”

“I love you too.” He breathed in a breath deeper than necessary, and stared at the ground. Uh-oh. “...Are we a thing, darling?”

“We’re multiple things: Human beings. Lovers. A French violist werewolf and a poor 1893 poet.” Sébastien glanced at you with an empty stare. “Hell yeah!”

“Nice.”

“Just gotta consummate it first,” you said.

“You’re a loser, darling.” 

“Are we not gonna consummate it?”

“No, we will, you’re just a loser that’s bad at flirting.”

“I’ll take it.”

“That’s not the only thing you’ll take.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

Sébastien fell backwards onto the bed with his wonderful, beautiful, gross laugh, feet slightly dangled off. His tank top rose slightly and exposed his navel. “Alright, let me get these off and you can climb on, darling.” Sébastien put his thumbs into the hem of his sweatpants and pulled them to his feet. You were sad to see them go because they did particularly flatter him, but this sadness was replaced with a fluster when you saw his thighs. 

His hips protruded out from his midriff with a strong curve, and his thighs were massive. Sébastien’s thigh and calf muscles were defined in a natural way, from time spent outside and on his feet. Almost his entire thigh was exposed by the short, black briefs he was wearing, and he had a nice amount of hair which grew in thickness as it got closer to the inner of his thigh. You could imagine the feeling of running your hands against it, and it was pure bliss. His bulge was nice and hefty and you just wanted to shove your face into it.

“Alright!” He said. You moved and adjusted yourself to be sitting on his thighs. This was the highest above him you had actually ever been, and you briefly pondered what you looked like from his perspective. 

You reached to grab his hand, but before you could he had already taken your hand and placed it underneath his bulge. You lifted your hand and felt his balls as if trying to determine the weight of a bag of fruit, which was a weird comparison but was also the only thought in your head the entire time, besides: “fuck me.” 

“You like that, huh?”

“It’s like I’m at a farmer’s market,” you said without thinking. He laughed.

“Oh, shut up. You are SUCH a loser.”

He placed his right hand onto the small of your back. You could feel his cock harden in your hand, the tip underneath his balls and lying against your palm. His cock began to stretch out the fabric of his underwear. He began to grind his dick against your hand and it grew even more, to what you estimated to be about eight inches. “Good. Good, good boy,” he said with a gruff voice.

Sébastien fixated his eyes onto yours and used his free hand to pull your head closer to his. “Wait,” he said. You felt Sébastien’s body stiffen and his grinding stop. “Oh, god, this is such a stereotype.” 

You snorted. “What’s happening, dude?”

“I’m transforming.” He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “I swear to God, darling, most werewolves don’t transform on the full moon. My cycle just happened to line up with it.” “I trust you, dude,” you responded back.

Sébastien smiled and pulled you in for a kiss. You closed your eyes and let him do his job. He pushed you down into the bed and climbed on top of you, maintaining a kiss the whole time. You put your hand down the back of his tank top and stroked, feeling the fur of a wolf grow in at a rapid pace. Your heart fluttered and you were almost too in awe of what you were feeling to do anything. It was soft and lovely to touch.

You felt the lips you were kissing become more furry and his tongue longer. His fangs grew in and pushed against the meat of your mouth, which was a foreign, but not painful experience. It became less kissing and more him licking at your mouth and face with a strong passion. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how it felt for him right now. A mixture of both of your spits ran down your face, and you could feel a cock far different from the one you felt before hitting against your midriff. 

Opening your eyes, you saw a werewolf before you. He was much, much larger than you expected, and you didn’t just want to be fucked by this creature, but rather straddled and used as his personal cum dump. Sébastien pulled away from the kiss and you caught a glimpse of his dick, bright red and huge. Just one sight of his knot made you want to scream. 

“How am I?” he said with a gross amount of confidence.

“Sébastien, fuck me.”

He was moving his ass left and right and his cock followed, the tip running against your midriff. His tail was straight in the air, although from where you were you could only see the tip of it. He took his hand, or rather, at this point, paw, and began to unbuckle your belt, careful to not destroy any fabric with his claws. He took your jeans and underwear off with one motion.

You could see his intentions without thought. The tip of his cock was leaking a clear fluid and already at the base of your asshole, just begging to push in and destroy you.

“Ready?” he asked.

“You did NOT lube me up, dude.”

“I- Well.” He stuck his tongue out, and it reached far further down than you expected. “Fine.” He bent down and licked your hole vigorously, lapping in and out as if he were drinking water from a bowl. Sébastien made a mess of spit down there, and you were ready.

The noise you made as he pushed his cock into you was both disgusting and ungodly.

“Are you-”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

He barked, and somehow there was a tinge of French in it. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Or what?”

Sébastien responded by pushing his cock a few inches further into you, stretching you out even further and rendering you unable to speak. He licked your nose and woofed. “Good boy.”

Sébastien went at you for the next few minutes, grunting the whole time. He held you down into the bed with his paws and pushed his doggy cock in and out of you, in and out, in and out. You could feel his knot slam against the base of your asshole, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to take it.

His pace quickened and his grunts started to turn into whimpers — desperate whimpers. He needed to dump his load into you and it needed to happen now. Your entire body had turned to nothing and you wouldn’t be able to move for the next several days, but you tried gripping the bed sheets anyway. It didn’t work. 

You heard him howl and you felt his cum enter you. The neighbors would not like that. 

He knotted you and you saw stars. Not in a positive sense, though. You didn’t see the literal stars you saw stargazing growing up, the stars that Manhattan didn’t have and that you so desperately wanted to see. You didn’t see Sirius, or Proxima Centauri, or the Pisces constellation. What you did see was your vision clouding from the pleasure of feeling his jizz fill you, the pain of his knot, and every other emotion humanly imaginable before you passed out. 

You woke up to a tap from a claw and the horrible sensation of Sébastien pulling himself out of you. “Dklfhsdkfshj,” Sébastien said.

“What?” you responded.

“DKLFHSDKFSHJ.” Sure. Whatever. You were barely awake and didn’t care, and somehow managed to take a pillow and bury your face in it. You could feel a wetness on the inner parts of your thighs and the bedsheets below you, as well as your own on your stomach. 

Sébastien took a fabric you were decently sure was his tank top and wiped up the seed he had left on you. It felt good, being pampered. Just the sensation of the touch of a human, or werewolf for that matter, could send you into a frenzy, so you were living the dream right now. 

Sébastien reached over and took the pillow off of your face. “Oh, you did such a good job, darling. You’re such a good boy.”

You groggily smiled. The sun was just about to set and the lighting was actually beautiful for once in your life. An orange and pink glow emanated from Sébastien’s fur. He was still naked, although substantially less horny. The fur on his chest was so thick and furry that you just wanted to shove your face into it. 

More of his nut left your body and he quickly wiped it up. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s not going to be fun.”

“How… how much did you...” you tried to ask.

“I’ve been pent up, alright?”

“I can tell.”

“Do you happen to have some spare… like… everything in my size?”

“You don’t prepare for changing size as a werewolf?”

“I wear elastic clothing before I become a werewolf, because I’m not a loser. Like you.”

“Hey.”

“I mean like underwear. And a tank top.”

“You just came so much, huh?”

“Do you want to have to wear clothes covered in massive amounts of dried wolf nut?”

“Fair point.”

You moved your hands to prop your body up, and while you expected to have a difficult time getting up you didn’t expect to yell from the pain.

“Sorry.” Sébastien pretended to be humble.

“You’re proud of this.”

“Yeah,” he snorted. “I know.”

Sébastien wrapped the blanket around you and adjusted you upright. You touched your hand to the bottom of his muzzle, pulled him in, and kissed him.

“I’m going to reheat my coffee from earlier. You want yours, darling?”

“No thanks.”

Sébastien bent over to take his coffee from the fridge, and the one benefit of living in a studio apartment was that you could see his ass as he did it. You couldn’t tell if he was deliberately moving in a promiscuous manner, but the sight of the lighter fur below his tail was wonderful. He put the coffee in the microwave and leaned against the counter, and for the first time you saw just how big he was. Sébastien crossed his arms and stared wistfully at you.

After a moment with only the sound of the microwave, he spoke. “Y’know what, darling, let’s go sit on the fire escape.”

“It’s almost dark. And it’s cold.”

“We can watch the moon come out, and I’m a giant fluffy werewolf if you don’t remember. We can take the blanket out if you want.”

“Oh, god, Sébastien, that would be so nice.”

Sébastien took his coffee out the microwave and picked you up, the blanket wrapped around you, and carried you over to the window. You were surprised by how easy this was for him, considering he was holding a hot coffee as well. 

“You’re not even gonna cover your ass?” you asked. 

“You’ll be covering up anything I can’t show to the public.”

“What if the people below us decide to have a nice, romantic evening on their fire escape, and they look up and see giant wolf butt?”

“If anything, that would be even more romantic.” You both laughed. “Fine.” He took the blanket and wrapped it around himself.

Sébastien opened the window and you felt a cold rush of air on your face. He climbed out, carrying both you and his coffee, and sat down on the ledge. You sat on his lap and could feel his soft member against you, although you definitely were not in the mood to take it. You told yourself you wouldn’t be able to take anybody ever again, although you knew that was a lie. Sébastien wrapped his arms around you, and you felt warmth everywhere except for your face. He put his paw onto the top of your head and started to pet.

“Are you cold, darling?” he asked. You could feel his bottom jaw hit the top of your head as he spoke.

“Nope!” You marveled at the sky in front of you. It was vast and empty except for the tops of buildings, and the sun was just about to go down. You sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, taking in the environment and general feeling of love.

Sébastien moved his paw from your head to your thigh, and continued petting. You broke the silence. 

“Teach me some French.”

“In school, you’d start with the pronouns, so, I guess, ‘Je’ means ‘I.’ ‘Je.’” He said ‘Je’ with such a strong intent. 

“No,” You laughed. “I mean like romantic things.” 

“You don’t know ‘I love you’ already? ‘Je t’aime’?

“Je t’aime.” You spoke. You somehow couldn’t pronounce it correctly. “Je t’aime.”

“I love you too, darling, but the vowel in ‘Je’ is a schwa.” He demonstrated. You tried again and still pronounced it wrong. “You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

You laughed and stroked your hand against his thigh, just to get to feel his fur even more. You felt him press his chest into your back.

Sébastien woofed a small woof and then you returned to your comfortable silence, watching the sun fall beneath the horizon. You realized you wouldn’t actually be able to see the moon rise if you were currently watching the sun set, but you didn’t want to say this out loud and break the atmosphere.

“I just realized we’re not gonna be able to see the moon.” Thank god Sébastien said it before you did. 

“Hm.” You pushed your head back to be closer to Sébastien. He wrapped his arms around your chest.

“We can still look at the sky, even if it isn’t stargazing, per se.” He adjusted you slightly. “Like, look at the beep of the light on top of that tower. It’s beautiful in it’s own way.” “Yeah.” It really was. You smiled, overwhelmed by everything that was happening. “I love you.” “I love you too, darling.”