#these are my thoughts & feelings
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#quotes#intimacy#love#feelings#literature#emotions#self love#love quotes#quoteoftheday#life quotes#inspiring quotes#book quote#life quote#beautiful quote#lit#hurt/comfort#autumn#heartbroken#loss#life#books#feelingsoftheday#in my feels#relatable quotes#vent#fall#romance#sad thoughts#sad but true#spilled thoughts
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Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.
#quotes#writing#poetry#positivity#thoughts#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled writing#my thoughts#spilled truth#spilled feelings#spilled ink#ink#posts on tumblr#my posts#dark academia#light academia#aesthetic#love quotes#self love#love#romantic#life#feelings#emotions#deep thoughts#sad thoughts#relationship quotes#creative writing
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Our hextech dream….
#the thing is#I’m so excited for the final act to drop#but I’m also so sad because arcane is such a gem#there is very few pieces of media that is so well done#well written well animated well thought out and cared for#the only shows that come close to this level of quality get CANCELLED#So to be able to enjoy a complete and well crafted story as good as this#bro I feel lucky#sad it’s over but I can’t wait#(it’s also insanely rewatchable so I’m not TOO torn up about if#my art#arcane#arcane league of legends#viktor league of legends#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce league of legends#jayvik
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Don't make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you're being disrespected.
#self respect#self worth#quotes#poetry#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#words words words#words#spilled words#beautiful words#lit#spilled ink#spilled writing#spilled feelings#my words#quote#on love#wise words#life quotes#quotes to live by#book quote#life quote#quoteoftheday#beautiful quote#spilled emotions#heartfelt#deep thoughts#positive thoughts#inspiring words#positive mental attitude
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#writing#words#quotes#writers on tumblr#poetry#introspection#creative writing#deep thoughts#feelings#thoughts#my thoughts#photo quotes#relatable quotes#relatable#love quotes#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled writing#spilled ink#spilled words#mine#life quotes#vent post#sad thoughts#sad quotes
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you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!
unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!
tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.
bonus rules:
you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny
take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)
apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender
have fun and be yourself!
#pokemon#pkmn#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#tag games#someone might've done this concept already but i had a worm in my brain you know.#i thought itd be fun to list all the unevolved pokemon... now i know there's only around 400 evolution lines total!#.. not counting mythicals legendaries ultra beasts or paradoxes#by the way! alongside the shiny result there are two other bonus results: an obligatory pikachu and... a surprise!!!#finally feel free to let me know if i misspelled something or accidentally included an evolved mon (other than pikachu)#sorry long tags ha 😅 i'm done now
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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guess what i watched on new years (a redraw kind of)
#hee hee#it was cute#(disclaimer i do not subscribe to d+ so my dollar was not going there iykyk)#pjo#percy jackson#grover underwood#annabeth chase#my art#fanart#hoo#i had to take silly pics of myself 2 get percys arm hand thing right#and then just cropped it bc yea#i almost gave annabeth the hair i did in the last one but i thought#why do i feel compelled to change her hair to fit the old image i had from the books and not the others#and i drew her actual hair from the show#and it looks sm better
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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a little post act 1 drawing...
#my art#jinx#arcane#arcane enjoyers how are we feeling..............#gonna draw my man next. ok. im gnawing on a cable. i have many act 1 thoughts
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#quotes#writing#poetry#positivity#thoughts#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled writing#my thoughts#spilled truth#spilled feelings#spilled ink#posts on tumblr#my post#literature#aesthetic#motivation#reminder#reality of life#peace#heartbreak#love#life#deep thoughts#sad poetry#romantic#artists on tumblr#art#creative writing
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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#my thougts#original poem#poets on tumblr#spilled ink#dark academia#poetry#poem#prose poetry#deep thoughts#love#inspiring quotes#book quotes#quoteoftheday#quotes#love quotes#motivation#unknown#deep feelings#writing prompt#my writing#writing#writers and poets#poetic#poet#desiblr#desi aesthetic#urdu ghazal#urdu stuff
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not to be annoying but i do think a lot of people mischaracterize falin. shes got the most drastic canon v fanon thing going on. which i guess makes sense bc 1. we dont see much of her and 2. lot of the fan stuff are anime-onlies that have seen even less
but i think like a good 90% of the time i see falin-centric art or posts im like hrm hrm hrm thats all wrong no nope no-siree
she's just a cool chick that takes life as it comes, doesn't hold grudges even against a mother that apparently was trying to beat the magic outta her, finds her older brother the coolest person in the world, and has autism about observing life (and death, she loves the ghosts she has a connection to) and nature and taking care of things (including taking care of her brother, which is why she's even in the dungeons; she saw her scrawny mess of a brother and decided she had to fix that).
and i think my favorite part that people don't talk about is... she would have done the same for marcille or laios if it were one of them that was eaten. you could see it in her eyes:
it's what shuro misunderstands about her. it's easy to see her feminine, cute, good girl pieces and forget the rest of her. but she loves things to an ends-of-the-earth extent; the kind of caring that makes you a little insane. and that's how I think she and laios end up on the same page with their weirdness. they have different interests, but they are the same level of committed to those interests.
it's easy to love her, because she probably loves you just as much, if not more.
EDIT: for the love of god stop reblogging this only to add some comment or tag or reply saying 'op you forgot [BLATANTLY FANON INTERPRETATION]'. falin as we know her is not a pushover/people pleaser/infantilized, see this version of my post. also stuff like 'female shuro was in love with laios in the genderbent comic' and 'falin was going to marry shuro because she felt bad' are just things you made up in your head
#idk i love her#dont take this as insulting i like when people do anything with her i just wanna vomit my feelings#dungeon meshi#another example of this is how she takes the dragon with her when she's resurrected#it isn't like her to leave that little thing behind#wriggling helplessly in the grass#she picked that little thing up and took it with her without a second thought
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