#(it’s also insanely rewatchable so I’m not TOO torn up about if

[noodles-and-tea]

Our hextech dream….

[trifle-of-doom]

The Hawk X Demetri Manifesto

Okay, here is the thing. Despite being well past my teens, there's a particular ship of Cobra Kai that has drawn my attention, this ship being Hawk/Eli x Demetri. When I first watched the show, I was actually more invested in the adult characters storylines than the teens. I immediately rooted for Johnny and Carmen, and I was always hoping for more interactions between them. But then I saw episode 2x05, in which the atmosphere between the Binary Brothers becomes way more dense, and that's when I started to see some potential for them. Not because I'm a deranged person who fosters abusive relationships, but because I immediately caught the hurt/comfort dynamic of the duo, which is something that works really well when it comes to fictional relationships. However, it wasn't until 3x10 that I said, "Ok, that's official, I need to see more of these two! I totally support them!" And I was quite surprised to find a fairly large amount of people who are very committed to this pairing, to the point it's caught the attention of the screenwriters/producers as well. Honestly, I don't know if the showrunners will ever have the guts to make them an official couple, and chances are their supporters will have to keep reading between the lines of their bromance, but in any case, here is my take on why Hawk/Eli x Demetri is an option worth to be considered.

#1 - The Bromance

If there's something that many years of navigating the Internet taught me, is that the main driving factor for fan-made ships is the presence of either a solid relationship based on mutual brotherly love or a bitter rivalry that may or may not flow into hate/obsession. If you consider anime fandoms, there are thousand examples that fit into either of these categories: Yugi and Jonouchi from the Yu-Gi-Oh series (yes, that's how old I am), Yugi and Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh, Sakuragi and Rukawa from Slam Dunk, Light and L from Death Note, etc. And our Hawk and Demetri fit into both categories. When we first see them, they are the stereotypical nerdy friends (possibly childhood friends?) sitting at the losers' table, who have no one else but each other. When Eli is at his most sensitive and fragile, you can tell he feels comfortable being with Demetri by the genuine smile he has on his face as Demetri is joking with Miguel at the canteen table. Through his sarcasm, the mouthy kid acts as a catalyst to deviate the attention from Eli, speaking for him, reprimanding Johnny when he makes fun of his lip and trying to make him feel safe. Besides, you can see a certain degree of frustration in Demetri when Kyler and his gang are harassing Eli, and he's unable to do anything to defend him. And they even have a jingle for their friendship with a robot dance, I mean, how cute is that? But of course, a solid friendship between two helpless nerdy guys is not enough to spark a ship to be rooting for. In order for the magic to happen, another key ingredient is needed, i.e. a little bit of angst. Which brings us straight to the next point.

#2 - The Angst (aka the Hurt/Comfort Dynamic)

Even though I never liked the Twilight saga or any similar urban fantasy young adult works, I can easily see where the appeal comes from; the attraction to a charming, dangerous person who could either protect you from any harm or crush you like grape. Although with different franchises, I wasn't immune to the bad boy trope either (Yes, I'm looking at you, my teenage self drooling over Grimmjow from Bleach). If we can appreciate the genuine, brotherly friendship between nerdy Eli and Demetri, the shift that Eli makes as he transitions into Hawk and becomes more aggressive and dominant gives their relationship a totally different flavor. Attrition sparks a certain tension that, in the viewer's eyes, could either flow into a brawl or into passion.

During the mall fight, Demetri comes to the realization that his former best friend is actually someone who can crush him like grape. We see Hawk intentionally harming him for the first time, and Demetri's heartbreaking expression as he drops the line: "You'd actually hurt me?" And if that line gave us a pang in our hearts when we first watched Season 2, imagine rewatching it now that we know what happens in Season 3. Demetri is chased down the mall, running for his life, and then he's locked in a grip, as his best friend menacingly advances towards him. Demetri appears as the damsel in distress, however his friend is not the one who will fight to protect him, but rather his tormentor.

During the party at Moon's, Demetri manages to briefly go through Hawk's mask and reach out to Eli, thanks to a casual conversation about Dr Who. But then the beer incident happens, and Demetri defends himself with the only weapon he has – his loudmouth. The situation is reversed, and for a brief moment, he gets to be the dominant one as he discloses all Eli's most intimate secrets. Demetri is now actively contributing to the Hurt/Comfort dynamic; he's no longer just a target, but he's doing his part to enlarge that gaping hole that has formed between them. And Hawk didn't take it well.

From this moment on, Demetri becomes a sort of obsession to Hawk, who hunts him down the school, teasing him and taunting him sadistically, like a serial killer from a horror movie, during the big fight. Of course, in real life, this would be completely insane, and the police/a social assistant/psychiatrist should be called, but in ShipLand, these situations are pure gold. Okay, we get it, Hawk wants to get revenge for the humiliation at the party, and he wants to crush that nerd part of himself he sees in Demetri, but he does it with such an intensity that it borders on ridiculous. It's like this is his twisted way to acknowledge Demetri's presence. Eventually, Hawk ends up smashed into the trophy case, and I confess I felt a little disappointed when Demetri broke that hug to give Hawk a roundhouse kick. I mean, it was a great comeback, but I was sincerely hoping for a "No hard feelings man, let's get outta here!" scenario.

Getting back to the sick and twisted way Hawk acknowledges Demetri's presence, he destroys his science project after he got jealous due to him being confident in his nerd self and laughing around with his ex girlfriend (whom the writers insist he still has a crush on). Speaking of Moon, I have a feeling she likes Hawk mostly based on his badass appearance. Remember when she goes "I like this (mohawk) and I love these (muscles), but I'm not dating a bully"?

Then the football match happens. Okay, let's break this down. Demetri trips Hawk and acts all sassy, and a fellow Cobra Kai is immediately ready to take him down, but Hawk stops him. "Fight smart, he says". Too bad that literally 5 seconds earlier he had shoved a kid to the ground just because his ex girlfriend (again, duuuh~) ignored him when he winked at her. And then, as he's trying to intercept the ball, BANG, Hawk hits Demetri, sending him to the ground, pretending it was an accident. So, what does this tell us? That Hawk has some serious anger management issues? Yeah sure, but also that he cares about fighting smart only as long as it serves as an excuse to leave Demetri for him, because he's his designated target. Again, this is all but romantic, and it doesn't necessarily have to be interpreted as him lusting after his friend, but it's undeniable that this dynamic offers a lot of ship fuel.

The arm breaking thing is just too painful to even analyze. We see a completely helpless Demetri begging for mercy to his ex best friend, who has made No Mercy his life motto. And that scream, oh that scream. All I wanted to see was Hawk realizing what he had done and throwing himself on his knees while begging for forgiveness. But I'm glad that at least we get to see he feels awful for what he's done, and I like to think that, as he got home, Eli cried out all the tears he had in his body thinking about poor Demetri at the hospital, with a swollen broken arm, all because of him. Of all the situations, this is undoubtedly the most deranged and extreme, and if something like this happened in real life, the wrongdoer would deserve to be punished and would definitely need to be sent to therapy. But in ShipLand, this opens the road to many, many different scenarios, in which the bully understands his mistakes and shifts back to the good side, or the two share a tender moment after they reconcile, or the traumatized character has to to learn to trust the other one again, or the bully becomes overprotective of his former victim, etc.

#3 - A Rewarding Reconciliation

Finally, we come to the reconciliation, in which Hawk makes his heel-to-face turn. While we've seen him torn with doubt for an entire season about his sensei's teachings, his actions and the people he wants to surround himself with, the key factor that drives Hawk's redemption is the sight of his best friend being held down for him to beat. And with an epic stunt and his awesome KEEEH screech, Hawk jumps to the rescue of his friend. Like many of us, Demetri thought this was still part of the "Only I Can Torment Him" dynamic I discussed earlier, as he steps backwards a little concerned, but then he understands that action was actually meant to save him, and the two begin to fight side by side, in sync, watching each other's back. You can see Demetri's eyes sparkling at the thought of having his friend back.

Also, not only Demetri stands up to alpha bitch Tory in defense of Eli, but he also speaks for his friend when he's faltering, just like he used to. So kudos for Demetri.

#4 - The Red Oni, Blue Oni Dynamic

Binary Brothers are two sides of the same coin and complete each other with opposite character traits, visually expressed by the color red and the color blue. Being the color red typically associated with violence, rage, passion and irrationality, as opposed to blue, which is associated with calmness, melancholy and rationality, red is clearly the dominant color. Again, this opens many interesting scenarios for shippers.

#5 - Body Language

Besides the situations I described above, which may or may not be read from a romantic/attraction standpoint, there are also a collection of small gestures I noticed when rewatching the series with a more attentive look on their relationship.

- Demetri's heart-broken expression when Eli shamefully covers his lip during the anti-bullying announcement.

- The smile Demetri gives when Hawk responds "Hell yeah!" after Aisha proposes to crash Yasmin's party, implying he's learning to embrace this new wild side of his best friend

- The astonished look with which Demetri watches Hawk at the tournament and the way he's pissed no one knows his real name.

- How deeply hurt Demetri is when Hawk belittles him by saying: "Five against three. More like two and a half." He even tries to reply, but he's caught so off guard that words die in his throat.

- How Demetri takes a step towards Hawk during the mall fight, before Sam makes him back off, and how sadly he looks at Hawk's nearly unconscious body after Robby defeated him.

- How Demetri smiles and nods when he briefly connects with Eli at Moon's party, despite the mall incident.

- How Hawk watches Demetri juggle with the cleaning product from behind his bike helmet (how did he stuff the mohawk in there by the way)?

- Hawk's psychotic/sadistic faces when he smells Demetri's blood, and how he likes to hunt him down like he's his prey.

- Hawk's secret impulse to comfort Demetri after the arm breaking (I hope you get nightmares of Demetri's howl of pain for the rest of your life, Hawk).

- The way Hawk twitches his upper lip when he sees his friend Demetri in danger.

- How Hawk and Demetri are so absorbed in their new-found friendship, that they're caught off guard, and Demetri swings Hawk to allow him to deliver a kick using their handshake as a lever. And how they keep fighting together, shaking each other's hands even when they're out of focus and the attention is on Miguel vs. Kyler.

- How they're standing so close at Miyagi Do, in comparison with the other Red/Blue partners.

In conclusion, this kind of relationships are engaging and entertaining to watch, and they make us wish the best for the characters. They make us hope that, in the end, as Miguel puts it, love really conquers all (and what is friendship if not a form of love?), despite all the hurt they did to each other.

So this is it. I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk. Feel free to share it with whomever you want, especially if you need some solid reasons why this ship has got some good potential.

And remember: the ship is in the eye of the beholder.

F.

[gillian-greenwood]

My Episode 7 Predictions!

Mother of God! How have these weeks passed by so fast?! I've decided to share what I think will be answered tomorrow night and some of the fates of our beloved characters! The series has gotten off to an even bigger success than it's predecessor and EVERYONE'S talking about it! Without further ado, let's see what I'm predicting!

Who's H/fourth man (or woman) and will we find out?

The question that's on the nation's minds. That has been boggling us since 2017... My personal prediction still stands as CC Philip Osborne, however... I think he's purely sitting on his arse and pulling the strings, whilst others are doing his dirty work. Those people are Patricia Carmichael: who in all honesty I'm manifesting isn't actually bent but is so career driven and a bit of a lick arse that she's just taking orders and not questioning anything, plus she doesn't think much of Ted either... I have joked that she's been shagging Osborne on the side which would be quite funny. I also believe Buckells has been Osborne's true scape goat for years. Someone as laid-back and unpassionate as Buckells is easily manipulated - I mean how the hell has he become a super? As Steve rightfully says, he couldn't order a piss up in a brewery. Seeing the connections go well back into the early noughties whilst Buckells was part of an oasis tribute band, it's an easy conclusion to make. Lastly I will mention Thurwell, now I think Thurwell may have been more involved on his own doing anyway but I think he'd still been pretty busy doing things on behalf of Osborne up until his alleged death in sunny Spain (Belfast but shh). I know a lot of people still think Buckells, some reckon pas-agg Pat is the top woman... and a few still think our beloved Kate is 'H'.

Now the other part of my point is actually finding out... I think us as viewers will certainly know the identity of this mysterious individual. But, I think we'll find out in the very last few seconds and poor AC12 won't be any the wiser which will open up the foundations for a possible series 7. I think a lot of things will be answered for us viewers but not everything for the characters. I know that if they had a series 7 there would be an other primary focus but I just think it would be clever. Just like how we found out as viewers at the end of series 1 that Dot was a wrong'un.

Is Thurwell really dead?

I'm still very amazed by the whole induction of Jimmy Nesbitt as a series of photos. I know we were supposed to have a secretive guest actor appearance and I believe it was Robert Carlyle's name floating about which would have been insane! But that moment we saw Jimmy, I yelled at the screen. So, this answers the question of seeing a character that had only been mentioned previously - which has been very much hiding in plain sight. Even with a rewatch, I had forgotten about Thurwell and therefore hadn't even considered him. But, I did mention the list from series 3 which did loosely tie in. Anyway, when we learned that Thurwell and his Mrs were now dead and clearly had been for a while - it was cleverly shot so we didn't see who it was, only the Spanish Police's word. You know, I think if we were to get a series 7, Thurwell could appear and he's in fact not dead. It's very rare you get a very well known actor in for something so small without it leading to bigger things. Although, they got Andi Osho, a very much loved comedian in purely for archival photos and videos... I do feel that Thurwell could have easily been on the other end of the fake MSN, and doing Osborne's dirty work - especially with the Spanish connection. In a BTS photo we have seen a clue to a piece of paperwork regarding a time share (Spain mentioned) in front of Kate which will likely have a connection to Thurwell and Spain. I think he's possibly still alive but we'll see...

Joanne Davidson

Kelly Macdonald has been welcomed with a very warm reception. Wow, her connection to Tommy Hunter (albeit disturbing, homozygous DNA... nasty business) was not something I ever expected although I guessed very much so when we learned of the DNA match with a nominal. Would I define her as bent? I mean in layman's terms, yes she is. However each guest star has had a very complicated relationship with the definition - all have done dodgy things and usually for good reason... But I do sympathise with her because of her background, born into trouble, it was very hard to escape - even if her mum took her to Scotland for a life away from it all. From the very start of her career she was doing the OCG's bidding and it transpires she was in the police on Tommy's orders - so very much another caddy. I do feel Jo had always wanted to be a good person and do right and in some ways she did - however she's in too deep. Next I'll mention her relationship with Kate and it's something I'd never have predicted. A lot of suggestive and sapphic behaviour from the off. Now, I do think Jo cares deeply for Kate and has developed strong feelings - and I think Kate deep down has also but I don't think anything will happen sadly. And that's more for the fact that they had run out of track before they could even get going as so much has happened. Kate's gonna save Jo when her transport gets ambushed, that's a given... but I don't think we'll see anything happen that we want to happen. I hope I'm very wrong and we get something but with the hour we've got I don't think it'll be the case. And as for her fate? I think she'll survive. Guest leads usually die, eventually... with the exception of Roz who's serving time with one arm in Brentiss. Giving how unfortunate her life has been from her conception, I think it'll do her justice to escape with her life. Witness protection? Hmm perhaps... Although I think she's done enough dodgy stuff to warrant a prison stretch. Will she be instrumental in revealing who the fourth dot is? Well yeah actually, I think she grew up thinking Thurwell was her dad... and of course having connections to both Osborne and Buckells. Jo joined the force just before the turn of the millennium so would have been a copper when the Lawrence Christopher case occurred in 2003. Even though not directly working with them, I'm sure she knew what was going on and would have come across Osborne and Buckells at that time. I have a strong inkling that she knows exactly who she's been talking to and has been under their wing since the start. If she dies I will be gutted.

Kate

Where are we going with Kate? Well she's just killed Ryan (lawfully) and has gotten away with it. But Carmichael isn't thick... and nor is Steve and Ted. They all know but I think that'll be that for now. For ages I thought she was gonna D word but I think she's gonna be alright now. I hope that somehow she gets back into anti-corruption permanently because that's where she's best suited. I'm shocked that she hasn't had a glass box spectacular - my predictions for her to be accused of being bent and all that were way off the mark... and not a single mention of the two dying declarations... With only an hour tomorrow and so much to deal with, I guess that's not going to be mentioned. And Kate ain't gonna be sanctioned either. But, there's always opportunity with a series 7... She'll definitely be back in AC12, interviewing... I can't see all the BTS photos being Jed Herrings. But we'll see tomorrow!

Steve

Poor Steve eh? He's not had an easy time of it. Addicted to painkillers as I rightfully predicted, unable to trust his gaffer, torn on a transfer and a up and down friendship with his 'mate'. Oh and the car, actually let's not talk about the Mazda... Anyhow I believe that Steve will talk about his back and recent struggles with meds after a lot of emails from occupational health. Will he get pulled off the job at the last second because he didn't book an appointment... yeah I think that might happen and Kate takes his place or something. But there is a counsellor or something credited so I'm pretty certain on that. Will he lose his long overdue promotion? It's possible! I don't think the test was going to come back as a fail but more of a cause for concern - just that the levels of codeine etc in his system was higher than it should and it would be best advised to talk to someone. We haven't seen much pill taking going on since the drugs test so has Steve been going cold turkey? Or have they just veered away from that part of the story? In all fairness he's appeared fine with his back since the Windermere convoy - he ran across an industrial estate... I mean. I hope Steve gets a glimmer of hope and happiness because he rightfully deserves it. Ever since the start he's had his fair sharing of aggro and he deserves a break. I do think however he may be partly responsible for nailing the final nails into Ted's coffin - especially after he discovered the 50K up Merseyside and the truth from Lee Banks. I think he could be potentially happy with Steph, it would be nice for something to happen with them but we'll see. Steve needs a big hug.

Ted

This is going to pain me saying it. But, I don't think Ted is going to make it to the end. His retirement is inevitable. I can see the argument of the retirement being rescinded if they unmask the fourth dot etc and solve stuff but realistically, he's past retirement age. He's so focused on getting to the end of this marathon that I don't think he will see it through and know who it is - because he'll... yeah I don't need to say it. How? I've been saying his heart is gonna pack in. He's going to be in deep trouble over that 50k because Steve and Kate know the truth. But why would the likes of Carmichael find out... Well we've seen a clue of 'definate' on some paperwork - I reckon Ted by coincidence also makes this spelling mistake often as it is one of the most commonly misspelt words and therefore will be in the 'H' running again - he wont be 'H' as I reckon Osborne makes the same mistake... He alleges he misspelt it cos he studied the texts carefully but I think he spelt it how he usually would. They'll all go down the wrong path and accuse him which will lead to his ultimate downfall. Another little teaser is Steve appearing to listen to Ted's 2019 glass box spectacular however notably Carmichael says AC12 interview and not AC3... so mixing two different interviews to tease us? Maybe Ted might feel he has no choice but to sacrifice his career for the truth. However it all gets too much. Lies cost lives... I can't see Ted going on from beyond here and Ted was always supposed to be a minor character until he was very well received by the audience and he was made a main character. Realistically, his story is told and he's at his endgame. I hope he survives, by god I do... He's one of the most loved fictional characters at present. But I have a really bad feeling and I'm worried! It seems a total Jed thing to do for Ted to meet his end without ever finding the truth... seeing that's what his heart has been set on for about four years... I'm sorry to even be going there but it's what I think will happen. And I want to be wrong.

Miscellaneous Predictions

I want to round this all off with other little points. Carmichael won't be bent, maybe still involved with anti-corruption, you love to hate her, there's so much more they could do with her character. I don't think Steph's dodgy at all, she's just a widow whose been helped out by Ted in an unlawful way. I think her and Steve would be well suited. I hope Chloe will get to the end and continue on in anti-corruption, she's got a lot of potential. If Osborne isn't sussed, I reckon he'll still be CC. DCC Wise isn't bent either, just getting on with her job. But if Osborne does get caught and I'm wrong, there will be a lot of chaos for both him and Wise. Farida gets out of jail and starts afresh. Buckells I reckon will get out but won't be apart of the police force anymore. Lomax isn't bent, just a regular cop trying to get the work done. The rest of Jackie's remains will be found under the workshop floor, maybe with someone else? God knows who. Or maybe with some evidence that helps lead AC12 on the right track. Steve will still be an officer and Kate will be back where she belongs. There's probably more but my head hurts.

Will there be a series 7?

Yes.

Thank you all for reading my jumbled thoughts all packed into a text post. I'm nervous but excited for tomorrow night's finale. Let's see if I get anything right... probably not...

[dragqueenpentheus]

You haven't watched every spn episode? That's crazy!

i hope for all my fanfics sake this means you CANNOT tell because my characterization is so on point <3

insane rant below the cut about..... my relationship w media and spn specifically??

but YEah...... i was a huge obsessive fan back in 2011/2012 and gobbled the whole thing up repeatedly over and over. i can not TELL you the number of times i've watched the first five seasons. absolutely unholy. i have a top 28 episode list of my life changers that i will rewatch regularly and did back after i ragequit the series as well because it was crossing over from??? hm. not answering questions for mystery and tension reasons and doin it just for FRUSTRATION and because of the massive number of writers just..... forgetting what the other was doing lol

im truly.....a pretentious bitch with my media........ i love when its been CRAFTED (the terror, les mis). i also adore just feel good idiocy (austenland, mama mia, the proposal). because they hurt me on purpose to say something and make me think OR its just a stupid joyful feel good time!

spn got to and ...... frankly stayed in a space that just. frustrated me and hurt me for.... no gain and no reason.

like...................... janurary of 2012 i made a bet with a friend that if destiel didnt get together by the end of the season they could smack me across the face. i lost and they DIDN'T but. i had totally given up hope and just felt JERKED around. ((also i never got smacked lol))

i had fallen behind and then heard about kevins fate and !! all the pain just added up and up and up and it wasn't worth it anymore, as much as i loved and DEFINED myself by spn i was getting so torn up every week that i just. dropped it.

and smash cut to ten years later when cas confessed and my brainworms awoke from their slumber. i remembered all the LOVE i have for cas and dean and !! its been and AWFUL year and so hard so i let myself slip back in but!!! my RULE for myself is only engage in ways that i know will fulfill me and make me HAPPY. i have no faith the actual text will do that. i have EVERY faith the smart talented marginalized people will present the BEST most creative most evocative version of that narritive

my fic-- if it's set post mid-season eight-- is pretty genuinely fanfic for the reams of meta i read and bits i like and harvest into my own internal narrative of spn.

THAT being said ive rewatched the confession scene TOO many times and did go ahead and watch tombstone and it autoplayed a few episodes after that and this freak named ketch started lying about being his own twin-- which!! hilarious. but not really what i'm after media wise. i also do watch throughs of all my fav minor characters episodes!! so i've done clairenatural but for wayward sisters bc its gunna break my heart bc itll slap so hard. someday i wanna do rowenanatural and garthnatural..... probably also gabriel! but ill likely stay cozy in my first five seasons home for a while lmfao

this is not a statement on my fave shower runners bc i literally dont know them all i swear to you im not a kripke supremacist/purist-- i just already KNOW the ways the early seasons will disappoint me.... im aware inside OUT of how it will break my heart and frustrate me. so ... easy rewatch content

SO ANYWAY here's way too much info about me and also an explanation of why i get nervous around fandom creators i respect-- in my head THEY are the spn writers

[sparklygoblin]

Haikyuu!!Hunger Games AU could be sick tho! This has totally been done but I rewatched the movies and I had so many ideas! None of yall asked so like all of my posts here!!is!!!trash!!!

Also I'm not obeying any of the cannon rules about one male and one female tribute.

TW: Depression and mentions of death

Ushijima is district one, he's never given much thought to anything but the games, and he's a favorite to win. It's all he's ever known, and it's really just sad, because he's actually a really nice, simple guy.

But the other district one tribute is equally as sad but twice as eager. Goshiki volunteers wayyyyy too young and waay too impulsively. He's a slave to his own courage and desire to prove himself, and he knows his eagerness has killed him the moment he leaves for the capitol with Ushijima.

Bokuto is district two, he volunteers too, because winning means everything and right now he's got nothing to lose. Wouldn't it suck if he fell in love with someone during the games...hmmmm

Daichi is reaped , despite being from two he did not volunteer for this, nor would he wish it on his worst enemy. He knows he will die but he's going to try anyway, he's only looking out for himself, until he meets his mentor. A damaged, beautifully kind boy with silver hair.

Tsukki is from three, he doesn't cry when they call his name, he squares his shoulders and drops Yamaguchi's hand, certain that will be the last time he ever holds it

That is until they call Yachi's name next and the anxiety riddled Yamaguchi screams until he is beside Tsukki, dying in Yachi's place. Tsukki cries then. At least they will die together.

Flashy Oikawa Tooru is reminiscent of Finnick Odair, beautiful, young, and charming. But he's not just pretty, oh no boys, he's also lethal. Everything was perfect, he volunteered right away, the first tribute for district Four. Then they pulled Takeru's name next.

The twelve year old stuck his little chin up, standing beside his uncle, pale as if he might faint, and all hopes of winning left Oikawa, now all he could hope for was Takeru, he would have to protect Takeru because it was too late to volunteer for him

People think a twelve year old has been reaped from five when sixteen year old Nishinoya is called, but it becomes clear by the litany of swear words the boy hisses on his way to the stage that he is no child.

A child comes after him though, Kageyama is only fourteen, all sad eyes and pretty skin. He's a favorite the moment he takes his place next to Noya. He's lost his whole family to the games, and instead of planning to win like the rest of them, he simply wants to take his place beside them, until a certain orange monster gets in his way.

It's silent when they call Kenma's name in district six, until he locks eyes with Kuroo in who is sitting in the previous victor's section, that's when Kuroo starts to scream, panic filling his lungs as his best friend is doomed to a fate he had just barely survived. He knew Kenma wouldn't make it, and Kenma knew it too.

No one in six screamed when Yahaba was called next, he didn't expect anything anyway.

In district seven, Hinata refused to cry, despite everyone's pitying looks. He would prove them all wrong, and if not he's going to die in a way that brings honor to his family, in a way that Natsu can be proud of. He just needs to find a worthy ally...someone he could die or even survive with for a while at least.

Fresh from his work in the woods, barely old enough to be working in the first place, Lev is chosen and it's really sad because he had so much potential in district seven...oh well guess there wouldn't be a victor in seven this year

Tanaka is pulled from Saeko's arms and thrust onto the stage in district eight, all while she continues to sob for her brother. It's all terribly unfair but Tanaka promises to do whatever he can to win

Beside Tanaka stands Ennoshita, a shaking boy unaware of his own strength Tanaka has barely spoken to, but will begin to know much more...intimately soon. After all, they're going to die together

In nine, kunimi looks sleepily at the crowd, he didn't know the apathy that had followed him all his life would also follow him into the games

Yaku tries to put on a brave face under the harsh glare of the capitol lights, but his tears fall too freely for his own liking, he knew the second his name was called that he was going to die.

Ten is mournful as Atsumu and Osamu stand side by side, their days now numbered much to the sorrow of their family

District Eleven sees Hanamaki sobbing as Mattsukawa makes his way toward the stage, no one blinks, it's just another relationship torn apart by the games

Mattsukawa ruffles Kindaichi's hair as the boy cries, fear evident in every feature of his young face. At least he'd have someone to hold his hands when things got scary

Twelve is exactly how it's always been, Iwaizumi has put his name in the bowl so many times that he only sighs and clenches his teeth as he makes his way to the stage. At least he would get a break from the constant state of hunger that came with living in twelve.

No one is even sad to see Kyoutani go, except ironically, Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi taught Kyoutani how to survive, it was a heartbreaking shame to see the closest thing he had to a legacy die beside him.

Capitol People

Satori hosts the interviews, but he's mischievous, tricky, you can't really tell what side he's on for sure. But you can tell he has a favorite tribute, buff and handsome Ushijima can't resist Satori

Asahi is a fashion designer who falls in love with his tribute, Yuu, he gets caught and punished for it, it's very tragic

Akaashi is the head game maker. He's so logical that you could almost miss the insanity in him. Almost. He has chosen who the victor will be, Bokuto.

Ukai is sort of like Haymitch

Takeda is reminiscent of Effie

Kiyoko is a past victor from eight, now the Capitol's golden girl

[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on GG rewatch...)

So this episode is literally the closest we got to what the show would look like if Brio was written off it. Ruby/Annie adventures!! Beth being totally useless in a crime plot! Almost zero Dean as a consequence (this is probably the only episode in the show where Dean has less screentime than Rio hahaha!)

Okay, practical question here, but is it safe to confess literal crimes you got away with to a support group? Like, nobody's going to report you? Just asking for a friend...

As an anti-waste myself, I can only but approve Annie picking expired bread before it gets thrown away tbh.

THE PTA MOMS!!!!!!! I LOVE TO HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!

Beth's printed board of fall-themed baked goods is literally a moodboard for a pastry chef AU fic...

I really love Sara's character development through the end of season 2/course of season 3!

How did Annie get Rio's phone number, again?

I can't believe that we were SO CLOSE to an Annie/Rio interaction!!!! It was RIGHT THERE!!! Why did they take that away from us????

Beth has an insane amount of different kitchen oils in that kitchen-counter basket. And she's buying truffle oil in season 3. This woman needs to stop with oil.

I can't believe that Beth literally does not answer Annie's "are you okay with the actual book club thing?" and nobody calls her out...

"How do you think he's gonna do it without us?" Pahahahahaha, Beth, this man's business was doing pretty fine before you joined, calm down...

Did I mention how much I love the PTA moms??? "Are corn stalks too sexual?" I'm dead!! And I love adrenaline-addicted shoplifter Beth so much!!!!

Note for later: between the expired seafood and the half-smoked cigarette in the pickles jar, remind me to never shop at Fine & Frugal’s...

Oh no, Annie said "I love you" to Noah and he betrays her right in the next scene, I'm so sad right now!!!! Honestly the fact that he's FBI doesn't bother me thaaaaat much (I mean, it's just a common trope) but the fact that he betrays her now is hearbreaking!

"One of my mom's friends." Either Sara is gaslighting her friend because she's ashamed of Annie's song, either the girls are lying when they claim that their children grew up together.

Okay so Dean appearing at the 19th minutes of the episode had me "Huh, I completely forgot about you!"

I can't believe I didn't remember that THERE. IS. A. NURSING. HOME. IN. THIS. SHOW. Guys, it’s canon!!!!!!

Why did the Canadian woman look for Beth Boland? Didn't Rio update big Mike's crew about who was coming?

I know it's controversial but honestly, I wish the show had given Annie and Noah a better resolution. I don't understand why people hate him so much. He's clearly torn in a moral conflict, and I would have loved for them to stay together while Noah could just turn to crime or become the girl's intel in the FBI.

I understand the purpose behind that scene and it's brilliant, but I just can't watch Beth destroy all that food. It physically hurts me. I sort of whish they used fake food to destroy during the shooting but I'm afraid they did not.

"She taught me Snapchat." "I am so sorry" is one of Ruby's most underrated lines, fight me

I ABSOLUTELY abide by Ben's theory about other kids freaking out the day they'll realize their parents aren't perfect haha!

I was so lost in contemplating how there were way too many kids in that park that I legit jumped when Rio and his mooncup-shaped beanie appeared on screen.

ALL OUT OF CATASTROPHY!!!! I LOVE THIS SONG WITH THAT SCENE SO MUCH!!!

I am in absolute awe at Beth's duality in this episode. The poisenous dark Beth serving her "Hello, James" with a beaming, cat-and-mouse smile vs. zombie PTA Beth cooking tons of food and haunting decoration stores is a masterpiece of writing and acting. And Annie's and Ruby's faces when Beth confesses she had fun speaks for themselves. Dark Beth is rising. Finally.

Ooooh, poor Annie!! Also, I love how Tyler just obliviously monologues details about his conjunctivitis!

So... If Beth barged in the dealership with a warning barely ten seconds before the sirens (which makes Rio's heads-up pretty useless but whatever), when did they have time to clean the cars??? Did I miss something?

Bonus: I know that I have a dirty mind, but... Isn't that too sexual?????

[elle9095]

So yesterday The Boyz’ Checkmate performance on Road to Kingdom completely blew my mind and it's been all I can think about for like 15 hours so I figured writing basically a dissertation explaining what I saw in their performances is going to help me make sense of life again.

The narrative that I got from the performances tells a story about the power struggles of monarchy, both literally and metaphorically, when you consider the industry. It’s also the concept of the show, giving these bands a chance to play in the same league as the so called kpop royalty.

It like the Boyz were on a show called Road to Kingdom and decided to make it literal.

First performance: Hwarang/ Sword of Victory

I think no one could've imagined what was to come when they made this performance. It was meant as an intro to the group so it was short and impressive and I’d say that it sort of set the style of their performance but not yet the general concept that has developed over the show.

Also I just learned that hwarangs were entertainers before they became a legion of warriors and later an institution, so they're basically old-timey boy groups turned soldiers.

How quaint when you consider the later performances.

Second performance: Danger

This is where it all started I guess. They went with the thieving concept of the song, decided to take inspiration from their first performance and bam now they’re stealing crowns and climbing walls.

Third performance: Reveal (Catching Fire)

So obviously referencing the Hunger Games which is a survival game but essentially a story of revolution.

Fourth performance: Heroine

This one's a bit different since it's a collab but yeah the whole performance is basically a person's journey to center stage, which is usually occupied by the winners/royalties.

Fifth performance: Quasi una fantasia

This one didn't look like it was going to fit the narrative with it being so ethereal and so hopeful, what with the branch slowly blooming, like a good thing coming to fruition, but this is the euphoria after you've made it and they sort of tell you in the title that yes this is basically a fantasy.

Final performance: Checkmate

This one is fucking insane okay? They start off with a deja vu: Yonghoon's with the hypnotizing watch again and you notice the blooming tree in the background but there's something uncanny and the watch stops, you get flashbacks of Juyeon taking down the king, wearing his crown, Q stealing the crown, stealthily sliding and passing it on to Sunwoo who seems like he's finally going to ascend to the throne and next thing you know he's falling and waking from a bad dream…

At this point I was already cursing and gasping and having a heart attack and they haven't even started singing. And it's like everything they've done so far was just a dream, the game is on let's start all over again.

And isn't it exactly like that? Because a game of thrones (though not explicitly referenced) is exactly just that: a game. You come to power but how long is that going to last? Sunwoo’s (literal) fall from power lasted a breath. You win first place on a music chart this week, you start all over again next week. And The Boyz would know that, having spent the the first weeks on top, but it only took a single performance in one episode for them to drop to third place.

And the chess concept is PERFECT. Chess is a game of war and strategy and the big picture and that's all they've been doing on this show: they've stolen, tricked, rebelled, and dreamed before they finally checkmate. All these performances make up one big picture and I don't know if they've planned this from the start but it’s fucking genius.

The Boyz are so good at coming with a concept and sticking with it, they make a song called checkmate and whoa they have a chess concept now, they have black and white costumes, dancers dressed as pawns, chess board effect and choreo, chess piece props… Which all seemed like obvious artistic choices but there's always MORE.

Like can we talk about that fucking table? I was like 'where did they find a three-way chess table omg it's gorgeous' and then someone's dancing on it and you see the glass tube thingy under the table and MOTHERFUCKER ITS A FUCKING CHESS HOURGLASS

Also for someone to be able to dance on it they flipped the table upside down and it's either like turning back time (rewind sound effect at the beginning) or starting all over again, but also I was like 'huh the tables have turned' and then 'OH FUCK OFF'

And it's all in the details in the performances, the small things that they reference, the same imagery that comes back again and again, every time I rewatch a performance I notice something I didn't before.

There’s the flower, something that's fragile and fleetingly beautiful, also the 'hwa' in hwarang. The moon, which is always changing, like an illusion, the full moon referenced in Reveal, which originally had a werewolf-y concept.

The fire, the sword, all associated with war and power. Even the tricks and optical illusions. The chess, the crown, the king. Everything came together so perfectly in that final performance and wrap up so nicely like HOW IS THAT SHIT EVEN REAL

I love how they have all the names of the song in the title cards (Thieves, Reveal, Paradise, Checkmate) and I’ve been thinking about the lyrics 'the show must go on' and 'the game starts again' and how Sisyphean it all is.

And it's almost like in the end they understand how futile the pursuit of power is but is still pushed by their drive to thrive for better, and in the end they realize being king isn't winning the game. Chess isn't about being king, you don't have to be king to win the game.

Their final card says 'As long as the moon shines, the king of all games is the Boyz'. They don't say 'we're the king' they say 'we're the king of all games'. It’s like 'yeah we're good at this and we're ready to go at it again' be it the hunger games, a game of thrones, or a game of chess.

DAMN THESE PHILOSOPHICAL REBELLIOUS BOYZ

These performances are inspiring and stimulating on so many levels, I mean yeah, the concept is mind-blowing, and of course the performances are just (literally) breathtaking but we haven't even talked about the technicalities.

Yes, I know these performances are great but more importantly I love how self-aware they are. They really seized the opportunity to do the kind of performance that they couldn't be possibly allowed to do anywhere else.

You can hardly do these things for a live audience, since so much rely on the camera work. You can't do this on music shows or music awards where people only care about the more famous groups.

And while these performances were created with the camera in mind, they still make the watching experience so incredibly live by making the performances so risky, upping the stakes to insane levels, and I don't just mean having to catch flying weapons or falling members, but like having a crazy domino choreography where one member's misplaced limb could ruin the whole shot, or using cool props and tricks that could so easily go wrong.

Like the branch that Juyeon was so upset about? The whole trick relied on everyone doing the right thing with the right prop at the right time right place TWICE all the while making it look effortless and seamless.

Can you imagine what kind of crazy you have to be to come up with that?

I personally think that mistake was a perfect imperfection when you look at the whole picture: something not quite right in this otherwise perfect dream that proved to be a mere fantasy, too good to be true.  

Watching the Boyz on Road to Kingdom was pure delight, and for people like me who get off on the thrill of live experience, performances like these are SUCH A TURN ON. And as a writer I'm just a sucker for conceptual plots, unexpected twists and experimenting with structures.

I’m currently torn by a mix of feelings: excitement for Kingdom, anxiety about the safety of the performers, dread of the inevitable end of the show. It kills me a little to think that we'll probably not see this kind of performances as much. That they don't get to perform like this again: go all out and not just tell a story but a fucking epic that will make Bertolt Brecht cry.

I hope they get their own comeback specials or that the company does like OK Go and makes all these crazy fun performance music videos. At this point I don't even know how to organize my thoughts to express my love for the creative team behind the productions, like someone there's got imagination to spare and I want to pick their brains so bad.

I didn’t know anything about this group before my sister showed me their Danger performance clip, and I’m 98% sure I’d never have discovered this group have they not gone on RTK but holy fuck am I glad that this happened because this is probably one of the best things that came out in 2020, making this disaster of a year almost bearable.  

So yeah, that's what I thought about the Boyz performances. Thank you for coming to my ted talk or whatevs

Also I have a second theory that the whole season is just Sunwoo getting over his fear of heights through exposure therapy.

[bespectacled-panda]

after seeing dumpywoof’s post I was inspired to do a tier list of my own!!! and boy howdy do I have some hot takes of the century it turns out,,,

the seasons are more or less organized in descending order within the same row as well (e.g. MC 4 > MC 5). also, shamefully copying dumpywoof & putting a detailed & overly verbose explanation for each season:

S Tier

Terraria 3: For me, absolutely nothing compares to Terraria 3. No other season combines such perfect participant dynamics with such heart-wrenching drama—not to mention the existence of Team New Kids who make me cry on a daily basis, or the incredible fake twist ending. It would be a sin to put this season anywhere but alone at the very top. Also props for being the only (1 of 2) post-show that actually includes all of the cast.

 A Tier

Minecraft 4: This is the best season for shenanigans alone, hands-down. It’s largely just the participants shooting the shit together, especially in the latter half of the season when it gets down to just the four of them. & I have a huge soft spot for men being wholesomely foolish together I suppose, so here it goes fhdhfhd.

Minecraft 5: To be honest, I have not seen this season since it released, which is a crime, I know, I’m sorry :orb: But I remember it being very very good, & I cannot imagine my taste will have changed that dramatically in just a few years, so. in truth, this one might be actually better than MC 4, but as I have not seen it in many years I can’t say that for certain. Either way, though, it’s definitely one of the best seasons out there.

MineZ 1: To me, MineZ 1 is the reverse of MC 4: low on shenanigans & high on drama. It’s pre-Todd era, but the editing in this one is honestly Todd-level, I would say. It’s so incredibly tense, especially the scene with McJones & PBG trying to escape the caves, and I feel like the sheer stress of it all brought out a new side of a lot of the participants, most notably Dean—who sounded genuinely agonized at times. A very very quality season all around, IMO.

Terraria 2: This season probably objectively deserves to be B tier, but I am it giving A tier for personal bias. I just,,, love the dynamics okay. Jeff & McJones especially made for a killer duo. It was a rare instance of McJones being the funny man himself rather than being the straight man to someone else’s funny man; he was super uncharacteristically goofy & almost borderline flirtatious at times, it really made for some good moments fhdhfjd. Plus then you got McJones solo commentary at the end which I greatly enjoyed. Just,, a very enjoyable season, very mid-HC era, very light & easy to watch, all that good stuff.

Diablo II: Man,,,,this absolutely 100% does not deserve A tier, I know, I’m sorry, but I just can’t bring myself to put it lower. I have A tier love for it :orb: Admittedly, the game is horrendously ugly and confusing to watch, but the shenanigans + the cast dynamics win me over in the end. Paul especially was great in this, & I hope he makes a return someday. Loving fathers Paul & Jirard with their sorceress son McJones making their way through the end-game just cannot be beaten. (Anti-shoutouts to Ross though, I don’t know anything about him, I am sure he is a lovely man, but GOD. WHY DID HE KEEP RUNNING OFF ON HIS OWN & GETTING LOST BUT THEN FORCEFULLY REFUSING HELP,,, ROSS YOU ARE THE WORST DHDHFJDJD)

 B Tier

Minecraft 7: Boy,,, this is going to be a controversial take fhhfjdjf. I just don’t know how to explain it, but something about MC7 felt,,,, Very off. I don’t know what it was, just something about the season seemed very,,, almost like you could tell things were falling apart behind the scenes, & they were trying to pull it back together but weren’t quite succeeding. It’s not a bad season in any regards, of course, I just,, don’t enjoy it nearly as much as a lot of others,, it’s missing that crucial spark of life in my opinion,, also Dean leaving to go to work was kind of strange,, I get it, it’s probably difficult to work around his real-life job,, but it felt strange,, he got like temporary immunity. Nothing like that had ever happened before I don’t think. And also they never even explained why Dean wasn’t there for like three episodes fjdjfjhd,,

Minecraft 3: God I feel like I just keep digging myself into a deeper & deeper hole here fhsjfjd,,, but man, I did like MC3 to be honest. It wasn’t the best season, it kind of went nowhere, but I liked the cast & there was a lot of good funnymoments. Smooth & Shane were very good guests who I feel like really rounded out the season, & Jontron did not come off as terribly overbearing as I believe that he has in other seasons. Overall, pretty decent, I’d say.

 C Tier

Minecraft 2: MC 2 & MC 3 are very similar, but I think MC 2 is slightly worse, both in terms of entertainment & cast. NCS & Kyrak did not hit like Smooth & Shane did,,, and I feel like just everything that happened in this one was fairly forgettable. I was torn as to whether this should be a B or a C, but I put it here in the end just to drive home that I really don’t like it as much as MC 3, I don’t believe.

Minecraft 6: Oh lord, this is a nuclear take fhdjfjd. Again, this isn’t a bad season at all, it has its good moments, especially Chad & Dodger, they are angels & I love them & want them back. But boy,,, just. Many things went wrong here. None of the twists panned out like,, at all, which I know isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault, the concept of this twist & of twists in general is very good. But it fell so flat here, especially with the revival. There was,, no debate at all about what to do. They hyped it up like they had this big decision to make, but then nobody made any effort to dramatize it at all. It was basically just Dean deciding by himself and everyone just sitting back & letting him. For the record, I have no qualms with the fact that Dodger was revived, I fully agree that she deserved it over McJones, but it was not played well at all IMO,,,      I do have to admit, though, with a fair amount of sheepishness, that the thing that most sullies this season for me is McJones’s death. Just,,, his horrible, so so avoidable, insanely early death, coupled with his retirement shortly thereafter & him becoming so jaded with hc that he expressed borderline hostility & hatred towards it just,,, hurts. I kinda don’t wanna see the events of MC 6 now knowing the aftermath. I understand fully that this particular point is not something most people care about to say the least dhfhdjd, but,,, in all honesty, I really don’t have any desire to rewatch this one, as objectively good as it might be. It was a win but it felt like a loss, if that makes sense. Also the post-show lacked all three people I actually wanted to hear from fhdjfjd neither the two people who could’ve been revived nor the actual person who did the reviving were there to share their insight & perspectives on it :pensive: 

 D Tier

Starbound: man,,, starbound. This is a very mixed bag for me. On one hand, I disagree with people who say that it was boring or that nothing happened, I found it very tense, Todd’s editing had me on edge throughout every episode. But on the other hand,,, man. Very few memorable moments, what even happened in this one,, also I feel like the game mechanics/plot weren’t explained very well, I feel like I remember being vaguely confused all the time as to what was happening. Probably will not ever rewatch either.

 Have Not Seen

DayZ: I will not ever be watching this season both because I do not know anything about DayZ & because from what I’ve heard it was an absolute disaster, I’m just not interested in getting involved in that fhdhfjdk

Terraria 1: There’s not really a reason I haven’t watched this one. Just,, I haven’t made my way down to the earliest seasons yet. Although as mentioned before, I have seen a few clips of this season, & Jontron seems to be pretty obnoxious in this one, so I don’t how much I’ll enjoy the parts with him in it, but I definitely do want to watch it someday.

Minecraft 1: The same as Terraria 1, I just happen to not have seen this one by chance. But unlike T1, I am much more looking forward to actually watching it, it seems really good, I want to experience that legendary very first season at last dhdhfjd

MineZ 2: Man,,, many things about the behind-the-scenes of this season make me sort of uncomfortable honestly. Just,,, the visceral second-hand shame & embarrassment of someone in the hc fandom being so rude & bothersome to the cast,, somehow it makes me feel personally responsible even though I didn’t do anything fhdjfj,,, Also,, once again continuing with the trend of me being saddened by McJones expressing dislike for seasons fhdjfjd,, I do recall him saying, regarding this season, something like “I think it would’ve been better if we just never did this,” which,,, ow. That doesn’t make me particularly enthused to watch it fhdjfjd. I probably will end up watching this season someday to be honest, but I’m not looking forward to feeling the cast’s frustration & unhappiness with the situation,, (EDIT: I want to be clear that there is no actual drama surrounding minez 2!!! it is a perfectly fine season, there is nothing wrong with it, it just happens that I personally am bothered by the fact that there was a lot of like,,, frustration coming from the participants regarding the player who was stalking them. this in no way means that minez 2 is an objectively bad or problematic season!! if minez 2 is your favorite season I completely respect you, there is nothing wrong with that!! there is a lot to like about the season as a whole!!! I just personally care too much about mcjones having a bad time in seasons bc it’s what ultimately led to his retirement, & that makes me sad fjdhfjdjd. but it has come to my attention that my wording made it sound like there was drama about minez 2, which there never actually was, I am very very sorry for my unintentional yet poor choice of words.)

[dreamy-heichou]

Anime Tag Game

I was tagged by @roxi4, thank you so much!! :D This was a lot of fun though some questions got me thinking really hard lol

1. Last anime you watched?

It’s a new anime movie on Netflix called A Whisker Away (or Nakitai Watashi wa Neko wo Kaburu), it was really cute, funny and touching!

2. Last anime you binged watched?

Beastars. I was a little reluctant to start watching it but once I started I couldn’t stop lol

3. Recommend an anime and state your reason?

CAROLE & TUESDAY

This anime has everything: cute moments, funny moments, serious topics and a bit of angst. It’s about two girls trying to find their place in the new world they live in, Mars, which is where some part of humanity went because of the decaying state of Earth. They both have their struggles, their stories, but what unite them is music. The show is centered on them trying to make their debut in the music industry on Mars, and wow is the music amazing in this anime! All the songs are in English (except one in French) which was a real surprise for a Japanese anime, but it suits the characters perfectly! Totally recommend giving it a try!

4. Anime you have not finished watching yet?

I have a few lol, though right now I can’t remember which one and MAL decided to not work right when I’m doing this akjld

5. An anime you do NOT recommend and state your reason?

Okay, so before I go into this, just know one thing: I love Tokyo Ghoul. I really do, but I love the original story, the manga.

Concerning the anime: the first season was okay, they deleted a few things which I found was a shame, but it wasn’t bad.  But Tokyo Ghoul √A... It was a complete disaster and ruined the story and the characters (especially Kaneki ugh) imo. It makes things so confusing if you want to watch Tokyo Ghoul:re afterwards too!

So yeah, if you want to give Tokyo Ghoul a try, honestly I wouldn’t recommend Tokyo Ghoul √A at all. Read the manga, read a synopsis of this part of the story online if you want to watch the rest of the anime, but not this season.

6. List your top 5 favourite anime?

Oh boi I never know... I haven’t watched that much anime tbh (I prefer reading manga) and not as many caught my attention to the point that I can call them ‘favourite’, but I’ll try...

Shingeki no Kyojin

Sword Art Online (I know what most people think of this anime but I don’t care. It’s a flawed show but I love it nonetheless. I’m a simple person)

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni (they’re going to make a new adaptation soon I can’t wait!!!)

Fruits Basket 2019 (the anime hasn’t finished airing yet but it’s one of my favorite manga and the new adaptation is amazing!)

7. Of your top 5 anime, list 2 of your favourite ships from each show?

Snk: Ereri (duh!) and um... I have several other ships I enjoy but none stand out more than another honestly :/

SAO: Kirito x Eugeo (my second OTP, love them!!) and that’s it lol

Fate: Shiro x Rin

Higurashi: Keiichi x Rena

Furuba: Kyo x Tohru and Kureno x Arisa

8. Of your top 5 anime, list 1 ship that you do not like?

I haven’t said that one a lot because I’m not about spreading hate, and unless someone asks me I see no point in talking about it. Only my friends knew to this point... Eru**ri. Like just... No.

9. Of your top 5 anime, list 1 crack ship?

Ajdkdj I don’t know?? I’m not a big shipper usually, SnK is an exception, and I don’t think any can be called a crack ship lol 

10. Of your top 5 anime, list your favourite character from each show?

Levi Ackerman (SnK)

Kirito (SAO)

Oh damn... Rin or Archer I guess lol (Fate)

Rena <3 (Higurashi)

Kyo Soma (Furuba)

11. List 3 of your husbando/waifu and what anime they are from?

Levi (SnK) - my #1 and the man who owns my heart

Kirito (SAO)

Gavin/Haku (Koi to Producer : Evol x Love) -  I’m totally cheating with that one because the anime hasn’t aired yet lol but it’s from a game that I’ve been playing every day for almost a year now and this man is definitely 100% my husbando, can’t wait to see him animated!! (Haku is his Japanese name apparently but in the English version of the game he’s called Gavin)

12. Favourite anime genre?

Damn, again, I have no idea lol. I guess I like it when there’s not too much drama and not too much humor, like just the right amount of both? Then I like when there’s a touch of fantasy, or if it’s an Isekai. It’s easier for me to say which genre I don’t like tbh lol

13. Weirdest anime you have seen?

Weirdest? Hmm... Let’s go with Shinsekai Yori (From the New World) Honestly I liked that anime, some parts were total genius like holy damn! But when I started watching it I was so confused and kept asking myself “what am I watching? What’s going on?” but I kept watching it nonetheless because I was so curious :’) It isn’t a bad kind of weird, but some parts really grossed me out, like.. The rats... *shivers*

14. Subbed or dubbed?

Subbed, always!!

15. Fanart or Fanfic?

I only read fanfics for Snk tbh (once upon a time I was reading Naruto fics lol), so let’s say Fanart (tho I like both)

16. Protagonist or antagonist?

Depends on the character and the story, but mostly protagonist

17. Funniest anime you have seen?

I haven’t watched a lot of comedy anime, so I’ll go with Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO)

18. Saddest anime you have seen?

Oh boi... I have a few for which I cried my eyes out honestly...

First: Uta Kata. I’ll never forget how fucking depressed I felt at the end of this anime. I watched it in middle school and the ending got to me so hard, I still remember how I felt even after all this time (I wonder how I’ll feel if I rewatched it now?)

Then there’s also Clannad, I was crying my eyes out for several episodes in the After Story, and since Roxi mentioned it, AnoHana. 

19. Anime character you dislike the most?

Okay, easy one. No matter how many times I see him, no matter in which version because somehow he’s like a cockroach and can’t stay in one fucking anime, I always feel like putting my hands inside my computer and strangle him: Mato Shinji.

It’s insane how he was voiced by the same seiyuu who gave his voice to my favorite character of all times! It blew my mind when I realized that; Kamiya Hiroshi sure is an amazing voice actor!

20. Recommend an anime movie?

I highly recommend the first movie I talked about, A Whisker Away, but that’s not the one I want to recommend now though.

Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms (or Sayonara no Asa ni Yakusoku no Hana wo Kazarou)

This movie is just simply amazing and beautiful, though I must warn you that the plot is quite angsty. Like I definitely cried at the end of that movie too. It’s set in a fantasy world, and... okay I suck at summary so let me just copy/paste one:

“Though only 15, Maquia knows she will live for centuries without aging past adolescence. She belongs to the Iorph, a clan of ageless beings just like her. Maquia's elders warn her not to fall in love with anyone outside their realm, lest she wish to encounter true loneliness in the end. But fate pushes Maquia out into the mortal world one night, when an invading territory separates her from the clan. There she discovers an orphaned baby, Ariel, and takes him in as her own child. From this point, Maquia will suffer extreme heartbreak in the name of motherhood, as she watches Ariel grow and seeks to reconnect with her lost Iorph friends, all torn apart by the cruel world of Mesate.” 

100% recommend it if you’re not afraid of drama and like fantasy!!

------

Damn that was a long tag game!! Sorry, I ramble a lot :’)

I tag: @talkereritome, @dearlevily, @soapy0-0, @jaegerists, @flamoria, and anybody else who wants to do this! It’s a long one so only do it if you’re up to the challenge ;)

[smolbeandrabbles]

Keep The Girl - Fraser x Reader (Black Sea)

Pt.II of Quit Breaking Up With Me

Author’s Note: I said it was going to be a three part Retcon. (Well, I guess this is really the Retcon piece) but it’s now 4 parts! Mostly because I rewatched Black Sea and noticed all of these things about our boy that I really REALLY wanted to use that did not fit into the three parts I’d planned... Keep The Girl is a song that fits the relationship despite the lyrics clearly being about a different kind of leaving... Disclaimer: Black sea characters not mine. Gif/Lyrics not mine either.

Zvezdochka  = Little Star. It’s one of my favourite words! Premise: When Fraser is called to a dive for £2million worth of Gold on a sunk Russian submarine in the Black Sea, you can’t help but worry for him... What happens if he never comes back? ...What happens when he does? Words: 7045 Warnings: Swearing / Mental Health/Personality Disorder issues / Sexual Pre-Amble 

_________________ This life is full of choices, Hard to make one all the voices, In my head... Those eyes that I'm in love with, Or that highway which ever I pick, There'll be regrets, I go one way I lose everything, I go the other way same thing... I'm torn and it's tearing me apart, I want to go but I don't want to break her heart, Like a sword with a double edge blade, It's gonna cut deep either way, This little town, that big old world, Chase my dream or keep the girl? More than once I packed it all up, But I break down blame it on the truck, Just couldn't go, Just wanna be out there making my mark, Lay down every night in her arms... I don't know why I can't have it all, Need to tear down that wall, Between this little town, that big old world, Go chase my dream and keep the girl

---

You ran your hands through your hair and your head almost hit the table “…But, baby! It’s so dangerous!! And this doesn’t even... the Black Sea?! I worry about you!!” “I know you do!” “ Do you?! It doesn’t stop you from going?!” “I was THERE!!” Fraser made the exact same exasperated face he always did when he raised his voice to you like that. Like he was mentally kicking himself “...I’m sorry... I... I’m sorry...”  he placed his hands lightly on your shoulders “This one... it’s... this one is huge... baby okay...? And not just for me...” he massaged his hands down your arms “... For us...” You bit your lip; you knew this one meant a lot to him. Since you’d decided to stop fighting about it, every dive came with a disagreement; arguing without screaming at each other. You bent to everything he did. It made Fraser happy to be out there and it made you happy knowing he was doing what he did best. But the Black Sea…? Russia!? “Fraser…” “Babe we’re talking... millions...” He kept talking like the money was something you cared about, you didn’t understand why he couldn’t understand you didn’t. “Fraser I don’t want you to-” “Millions! Can you imagine?!  Like potential of-” You were adamant this one was more trouble than it was worth, most of the time he could convince you otherwise. And sometimes you actually got excited about the places he got to go, if it didn’t sound too dangerous – sometimes he wouldn’t have to dive that far – or he sent you pictures from clear tropical seas where he looked SO gorgeous, where he was smiling. Where he could share with you every detail of every dive and tell you how much he wished you were there. But this one… This one sounded like the kind of dive you could lose him on. “Baby please... don’t go...” “I have to. I have to try. Please?” You sighed, you knew him too well, that was the problem. Would it even matter what you said at this point? If Fraser was already psyching himself up for it, he was going no matter what you said. So you had to smile, and push your forehead to his; “Okay... okay... but only because if I don’t agree you’ll do it anyway...” He kissed you gently, hands running through your hair; “Thank you... baby...” You shook your head; “Don’t thank me. Just come home.”

** You swung down the last bannister with his heavy rucksack over your shoulder. Minimal though the contents were, they were all vitally important. “Oh...” Fraser was coming out of the kitchen into the hallway as you came down “you didn’t have to bring it.” “I just wanted to check you had everything.” “Twice...” He held his hand out “Three times.” You unshouldered it and handed it to him, Fraser knew why. “But if you want to check again-” “I trust you. You were my partner for 5 years out there. You still are, Y/N... you might not ever want to go back to it but you are... I know everything is right and in order.” He gave a shrug and his eyes moved from you to the wall “... I just hate to ask you to drive me again...” “Driving you isn’t so bad...” “This time is.” His stunning blue eyes fell back to you “... I should probably have learned something from you.” You couldn’t help flash a grin “Zvezdochka you will do fine.” You took a step forward to kiss him “But I will worry.” His hand found your right side - over the still prominent scar beneath your clothes “... I know you will... but I will come back I promise.” “Don’t promise me anything you know damn well is that hard to keep. If it’s not state-of-the-art I don’t want to hear another promise ever again.” His face scrunched “That’s far less promises than I would like to make you.” “Then how about you promise me one thing?” “What?” “That you love me.” His head tip was inquisitive; like that wasn’t even anywhere close to top of his mind. ‘Don’t go off on one.’ ‘Don’t let them get to you.’ ‘Don’t do anything dangerous.’ ‘…Especially if it’s Robinson telling you.’ Those were the more likely candidates. His smile was crooked “I love you?” Then he laughed “... I don’t think I could ever hope to promise you that enough.”

 You left him in peace to psych himself up and finish getting ready. But you knew it was time as soon as you heard those heavy, one-at-a-time footsteps from the first to second staircase. You knew it was time for him to leave. And it took a good minute for Fraser to do the last three. He sighed “Alright.  We best get going to this damn chartered flight.” He scoffed at the notion that any of them should be getting a chartered flight to Russia. “Visa?” “Taken care of.” “When do you get back?” He watched you cross to the clock in the hallway “... I’m not supposed to promise you anything I can’t keep, remember?” You smiled, knowing he would eventually feed that line back to you “Go on. Humour me.” “Give it a few weeks. I tell you what, I’ll ask the charter. No, you know 14 days aughta do it.” “Just, text me.” You wrote yourself a note though, he saw that. “Also...” You turned back to him “Before you forget. Though I’m sure you didn’t...” “Could I, ever?”  He took the final step down as you held out the knife. About as significant to your relationship as his insistence to constantly take your hair bands. You knew early on that if Fraser didn’t have anything to preoccupy himself, he’d likely go clinically insane. Coupled with his paranoia, and the fact that goodness knows what trouble he could get into diving, having a weapon - or protection; the most important thing – (that you had imparted on him he was only to use when absolutely DAMN necessary) at least kept him in a safe space. If he had something to occupy his fidgety hands, you were also happy about that. “You have your licence.” “It’s not a gun.” You held it back for a minute “Fraser. You’re going to Russia for one thing, but you’re also going through an airport. Chartered flight or no if they find this on you…” He dug it out of his back pocket “Licence to carry. Happy now.” “Yes.” He took it from you carefully and clipped it to his belt; “Just, for God’s sake-” “Be careful.” You said in unison, and he pulled you to him again to kiss your forehead “I know... baby, I know.” ** “Say Hi to the guys.” “I will.” “Text me.” “Will do.” “When you get there too.” “No. I’ll call. I’ll call when we land and before we set out, okay...” Fraser opened the car door and then turned back “And I’ll let you know as soon as I know a solid date. Alright? 14 is a nice safe bet, we gotta get there first before we even set out... then we gotta find the sunk sub.. dive... get ba-” he waved a hand “you- You know the details.” You smiled gently and leant over to brush your lips against his; “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” He smiled again, stealing at least two more kisses; “No promises.” “Fair enough.” You sighed gently “What can you promise me...?” Fraser hopped out of the car and slipped his backpack on, pretending to think long and hard, before he bent with a wave goodbye, the significance of earlier conversation not lost - “That I love you.”

  You drove home a little nervous, but also with a smile on your face, even though you weren’t really sure you understood why it was there. But Fraser always made you smile. Now the arguments played out the way they did, it made him seem calmer. There were flashes of real arguments every so often but... you both backed off and gave each other space. You didn’t need anymore “leave” moments with him. Ever. You heard your phone buzz from where it sat in the cup holder, you flicked your eyes to it and couldn’t help but glow a little. As soon as you parked up you couldn’t read it fast enough; “The boys say hi. (At least the ones you LIKE do!) still always gonna wish you were here with me. I promise what I promised. Always.’ He never signed off with anything romantic. But the sentiment was as much in what Fraser didn’t say.  Your phone buzzed again, before you could even reply. with a single date. Even better! You exited your car, entered your house, and headed straight for the timer on the clock - punching in the date and pushing the start button. It began ticking down and you smiled. When those numbers hit 00.00.00 Fraser would be home. And in 10 years, he hadn’t let you down yet. -- Past… The prison guard approached the glass pane in the security door with nothing but sympathy on his face; “Oh my god. If there was one person I wish I never had to see here again, Y/N, you’d be her.” “Thanks.” You raised an eyebrow, “Can you please tell him that?!” “I mean every time I see he’s in again I just... my heart breaks a little...” He opened the door wider for you “...Still. He’s doing well.” “Gary, he always does “well.” Nearly everyone else is scared of him! Luckily they put him in the right place.” “Well, you know... psych evaluations...” he frowned “Now you mention it, they do all leave him alone to just get on with it... I think maybe the first time they didn’t. Soon learned them.” You folded your arms, recalling; “You know he never did say what happened. I just got a notice saying he’d been in for another few months, and visitors were denied...” “I’m not even sure anything violent happened. But geez, sometimes I’m not sure I even want to talk to the guy when he’s in here. Y’know? He’s not the biggest guy, he’s probably not the meanest either. But... he’s just... there’s something very intimidating about him. Soon as someone claps out the psychopath word and...” he paused, watching you “Does he... take something for that?” “... Don’t you have all his medical history?” “His doctors do, I’m asking for personal interest reasons.” “They kinda level him. It’s weird. Hard to get used to it. Fraser takes them when he really feels he needs to. He says he doesn’t like himself on them, who am I to argue with that?” “Is he stable without ‘em?” “Fraser is Fraser. He’s himself without them. If it’s working for him, I’m not inclined to mess with it. 10 years plus into knowing him and...” you gave a shrug “I just wanna see him again, Gary.” That was an end of conversation sentence if you’d ever spoken one. He led you down a series of small corridors. “He should be there.” “As long as you didn’t chain him to the freakin’ desk again.” “Y/N... we have to take precautions.” “... It’s ME Gary. Let him go!” “Look we’ve done the bare minimum. His psych says dangerous. It doesn’t matter who you are, but who he is.” Gary got to the next security door and buzzed you both though, you could do this yourself eyes closed, he knew. He knew you well by now.  As did everyone charged with Fraser’s cases and files every time things like this happened. But Gary was nicer than most, he liked to make sure Fraser was doing everything right - get out on the day your clock hit 00:00, if not shave some time from the sentence altogether. “How’s things otherwise?” “Going good, yeah. I mean the house is pretty empty - but it makes it look like I have space when everything is clean and tidy. I get to watch shows I want and take up the whole bed. Get to bed at a sensible time, don’t need to rush to work!” You laughed “I’m never late to anything. And works going well, you know? It’s a lot of fun. Better than the old job. The closer I get to something diving related the closer I feel to him and all that, y’know?” “Oh for sure!” “And you? How are the kids? Sara must have just turned...” “Seven.” “Seven! Right! Good birthday?” “Yeah we had a good weekend.” You both paused at the next reinforced door. Either you were the only one visiting or everyone else had left.... either way Fraser sat alone.

You sighed. They’d cuffed his wrist to the table, and then his wrists together. You turned to Gary, sadness filling your eyes and threatening to spill over into tears.   “If you treat him like a monster, he will be a monster. Mental health is an illness. Not a choice.” He swung the door open for you and Fraser looked up; relief and guilt flooded his face and although he said your name it was barely audible. He met your eyes and then he shook his head gently and his eyes fell to the table. Gary pulled the guard on the second security door over and muttered something to him as you sat down “Fraser... baby... look at me...” he shook his head again, bowing it over until he was almost touching the dull grey metal table. The second guard took his wrists and unlocked the side not attached to the table . “No sudden moves Fraser, or you go straight back.” “Yeah. Alright mate...” The misery in his voice sent a pang through your heart. You threw Gary the most genuine look of relief he thought he’d ever seen “Thank you.” Reaching forward you took Fraser’s hands in yours; “Baby, please… Will you look at me…” His head lifted, and there was nothing in those blue eyes but guilt. You pulled his hands towards you; trying to ignore the metallic drag of the chain across the table and pressed your lips to his knuckles. “How are you doing?” “…Oh. How I usually do when I get in here…” He bit his lip, and you knew he was on the verge of tears “I’m sorry…” Are you? Was your only thought. And you were warranted. He always said it, but he’d ended up in here enough times for sorry to barely cut it with you anymore. It was just something that you knew was going to happen. “I know…” Was what you opted for “…I just need to know you’re okay…” “Me…?! Yeah, it’s just day counting… but you-” “Day counting.” You repeated with a wry smile, and you knew he knew your countdown clocks. He took your face in his hands, and you slid your hands to his wrists, rubbing your thumbs gently over his skin. “I promise I’ll get out on time.” It was a promise he usually kept. “And I’ll be waiting with my car, baby…” “I know…” He leant across the table pulling your face towards him so he could kiss you. “…And you know I can’t wait…” You accepted his kiss, and afforded him another. “What are you thinking of doing when you get out?” “...What I always do… I guess… It’s the only thing I know how to do…” “Darling…” You knew that was an outright lie; there was so much that Fraser could do if he put his mind to it. But, putting his right mind to it… He needed an employer that understood that… Not easy. Diving got Fraser through because he had a skill set no one else did. “…There’s so much you can do…” He sighed and his eyes fell from yours again; “...With my record? With my medical record..? Y/N… You think I can just go down to the job centre an-” You cut him off with another kiss; “Do you want me to make a call or two...? So you know you have something when you get out?” Maybe not a long dive – or something deep… Maybe just instructing or guiding. So you’d know he’d be safe his first few dives back. But it made his face light up. “Really?? You would do that? I… Darling… But… You- Would really do that for me?!” Looking at how happy he was, of course you would. “…Yes. I’ll get Reynolds on the phone… ugh, even Robinson and Agora if I have to.” Fraser was much more a diver for hire than attached to a company, and you were thankful for that. Agora weren’t great, you never particularly liked what they asked him to do. They were usually dangerous, long, salvage missions where he wouldn’t be able to contact you. But the work and pay were always steady – which is what Fraser needed. Desperately. “How can I ever thank you enough?” You raised an eyebrow; “Well. One day… I won’t need to pick you up from places like this…” Your smile became a laugh; “Then I’ll know you’re thankful!” --

There was static on the end of the line, and the call fluctuated in and out but it still made you smile, to walk around your house with his voice on speaker. Letting him fill the room and echo around. You felt Fraser everywhere then; “H—Ey-! Y/N-!” “Where the heck are you?!” “Standing on a Ru---ssian Sub-! We----- 5 minutes!” “You’re calling me just before you dive!? Fraser!” “-------In order ---- Get going.” “Sorry?!” You couldn’t help but laugh; “You’re ready to go, right?” “Yeah--- Everything’s fine. I’ll finish this call and we go.” You were his final thought, and he had called just to let you know it. Your cheeks hurt and you tried to calm your smile; “Awww, darling… Aw-! Thank you. I’ll hear back when you’re done, right?” “Y---h, w---- do. I’ll see you soon, okay?” “I can’t wait to have you back.” “I know.” “Baby I love you.” “Y/N, ---- you too.” “No, wait! Fraser! You gotta say it again you cut out.” “I LOVE YOU TOO!” You laughed as he yelled it; “Okay. Get going darling, I’ll get you back quicker.” “I know--! Take care!” “I will. You need to be told that more than me!!” “I’ll take care-! Don’t you worry…” He laughed, “Besides, I got a great girl to get back to, right?” As soon as he’d hung up on you Fraser took a deep breath and smiled. Pocketing the mobile he wouldn’t use for maybe another week, until he needed to call you again. He stretched and looked across the expanse of water. This dive would be different. He already knew it and they hadn’t even sunk below the waves yet. But he was determined this would all go alright. You had told him not to promise anything, but he promised it to himself anyway. He’d come back to you – near enough 2 million richer by his own calculation. He smiled, he had ideas already. Of course he did, he couldn’t help that. He hadn’t told you anything, but he couldn’t wait to take you to all the places he’d vowed to take you for years. When he got the money… You deserved it. And after this one, he might make that money a reality… Fraser shook his head; he had to keep level about this. He placed his hands on the ladder; and looked up, drinking in those last few drops of sunlight before he descended. “Can we get Fraser set up first?!” Gittens was the first one to float the idea that Fraser knew was coming and he brushed it off with an eye roll. “Oh yeah - Fraser go set up man.” “Oh-! F**k off. The lot of ya.” “Wait? Why? What?” The American banker, Daniels? Fraser believed his name was but hadn’t been paying that much attention, was about as confused as expected. Why he was here Fraser didn’t know – he wasn’t experienced crew; surely he’d just get in the way. “At least tell us she’s half naked?!” Fraser raised an eyebrow and continued walking to the bunks – he guessed carrying pictures of you around had its privileges, if he got first pick. “What the f**k kind of pictures do you think I carry around of HER!?” “It’s gonna be a good f**king picture. She’s a good f**king girl.” Reynolds’ laugh carried, but Fraser thought it odd to hear him say something like that. Considering how he knew you. “-Or she could just be a good f**k.” “What the HELL did you just say?!?!” Fraser stopped mid walk and whipped back around in the enclosed space, far from happy. That at least made Gittens back up, red crossing his face in embarrassment of the thought alone. Good. He turned to Reynolds and flipped the picture over; “It’s okay... yeah.” Reynolds studied it for a minute, and simply wondered what the Russians, and the American would say. Fraser was certainly not the type of man anyone would envision you with; and Reynolds often thought it’d probably stemmed from a late-teenage crush into something much more. Still, 16 years was a lot to go on. He still remembered the first time Fraser had given that cocky little smirk as he told everyone he had a girlfriend, and almost choking on his coffee to find out it was you. Reynolds had known your father for a while – so had naturally known exactly who you were. And as an avid diver he didn’t know why he hadn’t put two and two together. But, that was by-and-by. Reynolds grinned at the picture; always up for teasing - “There we go. I’m bunking with Fraser.” “Oh for f**k sake. You so much as put your hands on your waist band whilst looking at that thing I’m gonna murder you!!”

 ** You’d been stressed about his dives a billion times. Always. Even in shallow water they could be dangerous. You and that scar of yours were prime examples of exactly why. If you heard the same thing had happened to him, or worse, then you’d never forgive yourself. But this was something even more unprecedented. No-one knew they were there. Except, you assumed, perhaps the crew’s significant others and whoever had hired them to do the job. Fraser was under the Black Sea. Not only was there a huge Balkan war flaring up, but there were Russian navy vessels cruising that stretch of water day-in-day-out. And they certainly would not take kindly to a bunch of British/Russian crew men under their sea… Looking for alleged lost gold. Oh yeah – British – that was a laugh. Fraser counted as #TeamBritain because of you, and because he lived here. He’d never particularly spoken about it with much Pride… it had you wondering… Still #TeamAustralia? Only, you couldn’t help but get paranoid. With shipping lanes, weather, sea conditions, Fraser’s own limited knowledge and absolutely every piece of information to you could garner about this trip sat on your secondary screen as you typed away on your main monitor. For the most part everything was calm. But every so often there would be a beep or flash of something. And you would stop everything to read it.

Sometimes you could turn back straight away, it was either nowhere near him or was something that couldn’t possibly affect his work. Not this one. You read it once. Twice. Three times.

 Movements detected below the surface. Request team to embark to check into it. You squinted at the depth. Certainly around Fraser’s diving range. You opened your top desk draw, feeling your chest tightening. Your hand hovered, and your colleague stopped working to look across to you. They knew what was coming. The second line of Russian had you pushing your chair back and grabbing the pack. “I need a minute...” You said it quietly mostly because you could barely find the air for the words and you left your desk. Unidentified object confirmed. Surveillance team on route.

 You stood outside your building for a minute. Cigarette to your lips. When did you start doing this?! You cursed the idiot who had suggested it as stress relief. They were your vice and your lifeline now. You inhaled warmth and exhaled smoke. The footfalls on the steps next to you made your eyes sweep to the pavement. “And you’re worried about dives killing him.” You took another drag and laughed your exhale as your boss joined you. “Well I know first-hand about that.” “Where is he?” “Russia. Isn’t that all you need to know?” “Ah-! Then...” he pointed to the cigarette “Forgive me, that’s certainly warranted!” You looked at it “It’s a disgusting habit. Can’t kick it now. Helps with jitters... with the way my body tightens whenever I read anything....” you looked across to him with a smile “Stupid? Right?” “Anything that helps is surely not stupid. Maybe not reading would?” “Oh you’re kidding I’d worry MORE!” You grinned “I already think about every bad thing that happens… I get so… In my head about it without him here. What could possibly go wrong with Fraser today? I’m surprised I don’t get nightmares-! Oh! No let’s not think about that!” “…May I?” “Good to know your day is going just as well as mine...” You held it out “Finish it. Please.” “Well. There’s a couple of trades that seem to have gone missing.” You tutted “Someone isn’t doing their job properly.” “No indeed. But I’m supposed to make sure that you all do.” “Better go sort it then, hadn’t I?” “...Y/N they aren’t your trades! And it’s certainly not your fault-!” “Oh come on now!” You patted his arm “It’ll give me something to do-!” He laughed, taking a drag of his own and calling after you; “Keep your eyes off of Russian seas-!”

** You ran the pendent on the end of your necklace across the chain again, holding it close to your lips. You’d been in the airport for the best part of 3 hours. The clock hit 00:00:00 this morning. You hadn’t heard anything since Fraser had called you before the dive. That could be for any number of reasons. You just prayed it wouldn’t be the worst you could think of. Fraser had said he would be here today. So here you would wait for him. As everywhere else, there were people who worked here that you knew well from simply having to be here so often. And they had kept you company while you waited. But you were starting to get worried. You were SURE he would turn up. But you and he couldn’t guarantee that. This was like waiting for him to come out of prison, as you had so many times. But worse, because at least all those times you knew where he was. (Relatively) safe in England. In Russia on some kind of ‘secret’ dive – that usually meant not legal, and certainly under the radar. – what if he never came home? What if they got arrested? What could you do if he was sent to prison in Russia!? … What if he died? NO. Stop it! You’re thinking about what almost happened to you. Fraser wouldn’t be that stupid. Fraser wouldn’t get hurt like you… You touched your side instinctively, as you knew he would if he was here, and bit your lip. You needed him back. You wanted to sit him down and TELL him to stay. If he’d done what he set out to do, 2 million was a lot of money. He could stop diving for a while. He could stop diving altogether. At least diving like this. Could you get him to promise to stop? Ever? You wondered if he found leaving you as hard as you found letting him go? You hated to admit it to yourself, but if he did… he surely wouldn’t ever leave you… Your heart began racing as you saw “MOSCOW-RUSSIA-LANDED” Flash up on the arrivals board. Please let that be a charted flight. Please let that be Fraser’s plane. … Please Dear God let him be on it…! Fraser looked tired as they all filed up the escalator into arrivals. How he scanned the airport as fast as he possibly could. He looked like he’d been through hell. And you realised he probably had. But then his eyes found you. And he lit up; and everything etched into his face suddenly melted away. You took a few steps forward – but he had already broken away from the group and was running towards you. Up close he was certainly battered; but the strength of the hug he gave you, as he lifted you from the floor, let you know that was the very last thing he cared about. From across the arrivals hall the other crew watched as he placed his lips on yours; the way your fingers gripped his shirt and Fraser kept his arms around you even after he’d put you down. When you broke the kiss you were laughing; pressing your forehead to his your hands moved delicately to his arms, and you laughed again at something he said, before pulling him carefully and checking for any injuries. Fraser watched you do this with a laugh of his own. And Reynolds could imagine that he was telling you he was fine. Though Reynolds didn’t think anything that had just happened to them could really be described as fine… When you embraced him tight to you again your eyes flicked back to the group; and you smiled. Of course, you were looking to him specifically, and Reynolds gave you a small wink back. But you mouthed ‘Thank You’ which made him smile and shake his head ‘I didn’t do anything…’ Although he knew what you thought. If you got Fraser back in one piece; you would be sure Reynolds had a hand in keeping him steady. “Ah-!” Fraser pulled back from you for a minute; “Is this a good time to tell you it worked out-!!” “What worked out?” “The gold-! We got all the Gold-! You work for a metal exchange right? Could I run it through you… I mean… That works…?” “You can run it through the company, not through me.” Then you shook your head “Anyway-! Baby-! It’s hardly the first thing on my mind! All I want to hear is that you’re safe! That you’re okay-!” But you smiled; “I’m glad though… I know it was important to you… How was the dive?” “Good. Yeah… Pretty… Awesome…” You had a sneaking suspicion he was trying to convince himself of that as much as you; “But?” “…I might have lost my knife.” “Lost-!?” That was nowhere near the whole story “…You coulda lost a lot more-!” He inhaled; “We didn’t all make it back…” You knew what you were supposed to say so you said it “I’m sorry…” He was likely to be counting friends amongst that number… “…But… I’m also glad that you did. Fraser… YOU made it back… Baby…” His eyes did his smiling for him; “…I would never forgive myself if I left you here alone.” Suddenly that bright blue you’d been staring into flicked past you, and he really did smile; “AH-! Keeping her company I bet!” You turned to see Aiden crossing the airport with a laugh; “Oh, Geez. I mean, thank God you’re back!” They clasped hands; “Well, for her!? Absolutely!” Your eyes flicked between them as they talked and you smiled – nuzzling into Fraser again you kissed his cheek gently and untangled yourself from him. He let you go, because he knew you’d want to see the rest of the crew too. With Fraser’s blessing to leave his arms you ran across the building. Reynolds had to brace himself for your leap into his arms; “AHAHA-! Y/N! God-! Okay! It’s good to see you too!” “And you-! I mean I got you both back so…” You grinned “I’m.. very happy…” then you turned serious “But I mean it… Thank you… For bringing him back to me.” “I’m not promising he’s intact. It was… tough.” “I’m assured it was. I’m sorry.” “Maybe it wasn’t worth it…” His voice was lowered “…But when I see him back with you… That almost makes up for it…” But he smiled “However, Y/N, I will thank you for your thanks… Ah-! Now, I have the pleasure of introducing you to those you never met-!” Reynolds walked you over to a tall kid, certainly a kid by his face alone and indicated to you “Tobin, this is the member of our crew that unfortunately never was! Please meet Ms.Y/N.” You looked back to Reynolds with a raised eyebrow “Shut it Reynolds, you never saw me dive either!” He snorted “If you’re as good as HE is then I didn’t need to see it!” and then nodded to Tobin “We coulda used ya, you know, but this one is a good diver, it just so happens.” You smiled, holding out your hand for Tobin to take; “Ah-! Good! A new member of the crew. Should you be taking them this young!?” “I’m 19. Not that young…” Certainly young; even if you’d met Fraser before you’d turned 19. For a dive like this one was sure to have been, Tobin, clearly from Liverpool by the accent, had been thrown in at more than just the literal deep end.

Your eyes couldn’t help but fall to the dark haired, dark eyed man staring at you inquisitively from just behind Tobin’s lanky frame. He was new too, and barely looked cut out for what these men – to be honest, you’d happily classify this kid a man after that – had just been through. “Oh. TWO new crew members for a job like this!?” The usual Likely Lads all seemed to hesitate and shuffle awkwardly for a minute; looking almost unwilling to introduce the man. Reynolds knew he had to step up to the plate; “He’s actually a banker… he’s not reaaaally crew.” You folded your arms, not accepting of that answer as a reason they would shun him. “Crew is crew.” Daniels was sweeping you, the dress you were wearing, your demeanour around a tough looking bunch of guys. He’d seen the pictures and heard the banter they keep throwing at Fraser. How coming up here they’d all been teasing him again about it and telling the two of them yet to meet you; “Look for the best-looking woman at this airport.” “A woman like that with a man like Fraser… ugh! Travesty!”   You took a step towards him, with an admittedly gorgeous little smile; Huh, I guess they’re right! She IS the best-looking girl here. “Y/N, It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for being part of the crew to bring Fraser back to me.” He had to hesitate at that sentence. It struck him hard. But he held out his hand anyway “D-Daniels… It’s… nice to meet you.” You noticed both his nervousness and the way that his gaze swept you. The two were almost certainly bound to be related; you turned to punch Reynolds’ arm; “Alright. What the f*** did you say THIS time!?” By the time you got to the last man the banter amongst the crew was friendly and at ease. But this they had to watch. And another sentence popped into Daniels head; “Yeah, except Robinson, she won’t be nice to Robinson she hates him.” “Y/N…” “Robinson…” “…It’s good to see you… with him.” “I know.” “…I hope… that he takes care of you.” “He will. Thank you for asking him. Whether I mean it or not, it means a lot to Fraser. And that matters the most.” “I know… I will… Try to call on him less.” You raised an eyebrow; “If I had it my way, you’d never call on him again.” “Aye, I know.” He sighed, and offered you a hand to shake; “…I’ll try my best, to leave you alone, for a little while.” You looked to his hand with a shake of your head; “And I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. Don’t make promises you can’t keep…” You took a step, just a small one, forward and embraced him. It was quick. But significant. And had the rest of the men lapsed into stunned silence “Thank you. For bringing him back to me. Especially after this one. But I don’t want to hear about anything this dangerous again with your name tacked to it. Okay?” “…O…Okay…” Even he was astounded at your affection. You gave a nod of understanding before turning back to your man. Fraser was now standing alone, having finished the conversation with Aiden. His hands were in his pockets and he was looking at you expectantly; You hugged Reynolds one last time; “I gotta go. But, maybe I’ll see you guys again.” Maybe?! Who were you fooling? Of course you’d see them again. You were as stuck with them as Fraser was with you. With one last look back you crossed to him. Fraser took your hand in his and with a smile, lead you towards the exit. He didn’t even look back once. *** As expected, the first thing Fraser did after chucking his (now super heavy) bag into the back of your car was check your glove box. He knew the pack would be there. Because you’d light up if the plane didn’t get in. He opened it and did a quick count as you turned the key ignition; “Oh. This was a 4 cigerette trip... huh? That’s bad... even for me... geez I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. It’s me.” “Not it’s NOT okay...!” He shook the pack at you “You shouldn’t even need these! I scare you when I’m out there. But you don’t take these because of things I’m doing. But because you think what happened to you will happen to me.” He sighed and threw the pack back into your car “..Truth is. If I was more careful. That never would have happened to you.” He sighed “And that’s on me.” You winced; did he really blame himself for this? Without this would you have even ever got together? You’d make it a joke at the time, but you were serious. How long had you yearned for him to touch you as more than a friend and place his lips on yours before then..? “Fraser. It’s not just the dive… Submarines have their own problems... Hull breaches… Uh… Engine failure… What if they can’t surface again? Surely that’s a thing?” He watched you try to list off every other possible worry with a shake of his head’ “But it scares me.” You stopped talking and turned to his serious blue eyes, the way he reached for your hand to pull you back to him. “…Scares you?” “It scares me that these thoughts of yours scare you enough to...” His eyes flicked back to the pack of cigarettes and he shut the compartment with his knee “…I don’t like seeing you like this.” “You barely see it.” He chuckled; “Believe me. I do. I know you… You know how much you mean to me right…?” “I got a good idea…” you leaned into him “I mean I’ve known you for long enough…” “You’re my best friend. Y/N…” You opened your mouth, to say something like… I know… or you’re mine too… But it got lost somewhere else in every other feeling that was fighting for your attention. You bit your lip instead and almost shied away from him… “…Can I please get you home…” His hand left yours, and the glint in his eyes coupled with a smirk; “Of course you may.” You felt an involuntary, but certainly not unwelcome, shiver cross your skin at the sound of his accent saying those words… You knew what was coming. And you had a delightful drive home to fantasise it…  

**

It took less than a minute for both your feelings to engulf you as you closed the door to your house. How his hands ran under your dress and you pulled him up the stairs by the collar of his shirt all whilst making out and undoing buttons.

This used to be the best part of arguing with you; now it was just the best part of coming back. And with that gold forgotten at the front door now – Fraser’s thoughts were not on what he was going to do with it. Thinking; diving, tropics and making love to you on a sandy beach somewhere with no-one else around. But what he was about to do to you in this moment.

You were nowhere near the bedroom when he’d had enough of you pulling him there and lifted you, pinning you against the wall. He was strong, and balancing you there proved no trouble as he ran his hands up your thighs. The diving watch on his wrist beeped with his racing heartbeat and you were sure that yours was probably registering something similar. You groaned into his kiss and ran your fingers into his hair. He was right; you loved doing this; every time you got intimate; no matter how quick and rough or slow and sensual your fingers always tangled in it. And this time would be no exception.

Fraser was wasting no time; and you heard the clink of his belt buckle. You felt that throb of desire run through you just at the very sound. You needed him so badly now. It made you moan; and not very quietly. The smirk that drew itself across his face could not have been clearer. And you were clearly in anticipation of him doing something like this to you with what you were wearing… Perhaps because now he always did… He pulled down your underwear - black lace? Oh-! Fraser realised he might actually have been supposed to take your dress off. When he looked back to you, you were grinning. He growled gently as he kissed you again, pocketing them;  “Welcome home!”

---

@dennismitchell @krnncsbtch @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad. 

I promise to get better at remembering to Tag-! 

[prlrocks]

Tomorrow is Avengers Endgame so I decided to rank all the movies in the MCU again. Things can movie one of two up or down, but overall this is where I currently stand. Least favorite to fav. ----------------- The Incredible Hulk (2008)- This is the only MCU movie I don't enjoy on some level. It does not help that I am really not a Liv Tyler fan.  

Thor: The Dark World (2013)- I really love the Loki and Frigga scenes from this movie.  That said, the rest leaves a lot to be desired.

Iron Man 2 (2010)- I struggle with Tony in this movie though. I get he is self destructing, but it isn't fun to watch. I also don't care for his relationship with Pepper in this movie. They just don't work for me in this movie and I'm clueless as to why either would want to actually be with the other. I do like the scenes that involve Howard Stark though. Tony's poor relationship with his father is a major part of the character, one I appreciate.  

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)- Pretty much same as my feeling for the first Ant-man... I just like it a little less.

Ant-Man (2015)- It's a cute movie. I like the humor and family relationships. Cassie is the best.

Iron Man 3 (2013)- This movie has issues plot wise, but I do think it explores Tony's character well. It's good to have a movie that addresses PTSD. I love that Tony has all his resources taken from him and he needs to use his mind to 'save the day.' It also is the start of the 'Tony as father figure' storyline I've fallen in love with in more recent movies.

Doctor Strange (2016)- Visually stunning at points. I really love the Sanctum Sanctorum. I also love (what I think is) Strange's theme music. The story is not bad. I'm just not a fan of Cumberbatch and Strange is not a lovable character so....

Captain Marvel (2019)- It's a mix bag in my opinion. I love a lot of the messages, Goose is the best, Nick Fury is fun. I wish I liked Carol more in this movie though. She's fine, but this movie did not make me love her. Also this movie goes down as the worst use of music in the MCU. It gets in the way of quite a few of the scenes.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)- A lot of people dislike this movie.... I am not one of those people. I like seeing the main 6 fight together as a solid formed team. I like seeing the team hanging out a bit (wish we got more!). It gave us the Twins and I also really like Clint in this movie. The villain is not the best and would be my main complaint, but that is true of quite a few MCU movies.

Thor (2011)- I'll always have a soft spot for this movie. It is the one that made me a MCU fan. It was Loki... yup Loki. I truly felt for the character. Odin is the worst father.  Also Thor's 'fish out of water' humor never fails to amuse.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)- I kinda wish this movie was two movies. I really want more of the Howling Commandos. That said, what we do get is wonderful. The ending of this movie often makes me tear up.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)- Music wise, this movie is more to my taste then the first movie and while the usage is not as strong as the first movie, it is still very solid. They did very well with Rocket and Peter characters in this movie as well. Nice development. Also a very moving ending.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)- This is a movie that had to grow on me. At first I was rather Meh about it, but on rewatch I feel in love. I adore the Revengers. :D This movie has a lot of 'Hell Yeah!' moments. Also... Loki. :D 

Black Panther (2018)- Even as a stand alone this is just a strong solid movie. Great acting, script, etc. Shuri stole the movie and I felt for Killmonger.

Captain America: Civil War (2016)- On levels this is a hard movie to watch, because I hate seeing the team torn apart. I get both sides of the fight too. The Avengers shouldn't have their every action go through a committee. All the same, I do feel that The Avengers should be held accountable for their actions. They accidentally kill a ton of people? There should be consequences. I also get why Steve puts Bucky first (is there any other relationship that comes close to that for him? No, IMO...) and I get why Tony can't deal with finding out that Bucky killed his parents. The airport scene was truly epic as well. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)- This movie has a lot of heart. I was left crying in the opening scene! It's a fun movie with characters you can't help but love. Great use of music. I

ron Man (2008)- Yup, this still makes my top 5. Tony has such a strong character arc in it (he has come so much further since then, but he has a powerful start). RDJ has insane charisma and you just can't picture anyone else in the role.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)- My heart belongs to Iron Dad. The Peter and Tony relationship has fast become my favorite of the MCU. I will read all the fanfic... Okay that said, I just love Peter Parker and I think the MCU have finally gotten him right. I don't mind the changes (Tony giving him the suit, etc). In fact, I find it all a fresh take. Aunt May is love. I'm awful fond of Happy. Ned is a nice addition and I like the update to MJ. Oh, and this movie has a very well done villain.

The Avengers (2012)- Marvel movies have come a long way since this movie, but this movie never fails to capture me. It's just a feel good movie.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)- Such a beautifully shot movie. The colors and imagery are stunning at points. The relationships are what make this movie for me though. Once again... Iron Dad. I adore their interaction. Peter's death made me sob even though I know it's not going to last. The little Steve we got was powerful (him struggling against Thanos is the image that always pops in my head with him). I really liked Wanda and Wision. Gamora <3 I could go on.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)- As things stand, this is the best superhero of all time, IMO. It's perfect. I love the dynamic between of the characters. Steve and Bucky's relationship gives me all the feelings (I just wish movies that followed up, did as good a job when it came to them).

[pancoleon]

Baccano Rewatch Rambling Commentary

So. due to having a long and fun talk about Baccano at MCM Manchester, I felt like rewatching the anime and OH BOY I forgot how the first episode goes, so I decided I might as well do (spoilery) commentary on here as I rewatch. Don’t expect anything written nicely or concisely, I do the numberwang, not the wordidoo.

This is the first 3 episodes and because I ramble like hell and I do reference the books, it’s a “Read More”. I apologize in advance, but “Short Form” has never been a thing I can manage. This is me essentially writing down what I say to myself while watching it. I added the formatting later, but I want to keep the rambling as in tact as possible, partly out of laziness and partly out of interest in looking back later and seeing what was going through my head.

Episode 1

I forgot just how much time is spent with the discussion between (Christ me, you literally saw this half an hour ago, how have you already forgotten her name!?) *Carol* (Thanks Baccano wiki, and by extension most likely thanks Rev) and Gustav St Germain. Looking back after reading the books, I like the fact that they used the paper explosion scene and would have loved to see that reappear later had they continued the anime. That would’ve been a nice scene of the anime doing a foreshadow of a scene to come while not making it blatantly so, and that final context would’ve probably put an extra spin on things. (Oh boy, it’s really clear I can’t write short sentences…)

The scenes foreshadowing Book 6 (Was it? I lose track. Either way, the Mist Wall book.) really hurt me. I’d have loved to see Christopher, Adele, (Heck, ALL THE HOMUNCULI) and Maria, along with seeing Ronnie just be Ronnie and fuckin’ be extra as hell with the help of essentially Omnipotent powers.

The sequence initially showing Firo... Y'know, I remember this properly, but I have to say I prefer the book version? In the books, it’s before he becomes immortal and he avoids getting hit by the knife in the first place. I feel that while how this scene was rewritten means it’s good for revealing his immortality, the books help show that he is rather suspicious as a character, which works well considering his discomfort from the fact that even after becoming immortal he is careful due to the knowledge that there *is* a way to kill him. Then again, I’m not a literary master and the change probably works considering the more carefree Firo you see in the show.

I like the setup for the Flying Pussyfoot (even if I’m sad the stuff being called in doesn’t pay off due to them not using Vino in the 1932 arc that *should* be Drugs and Dominoes). What you know from the first episode is:

that the train’s been swapped out do to an “accident”

there’s an assassin on there,

there’s immortals on there,

there’s bombs on there,

a bunch of corpses and a murderous guy with no arm and a woman he’s talking of killing litter the tracks (On an off hand note, I thought that Ladd actually killed Lua there when I initially watched Baccano),

and that the people that are leaving the train are the thieves mentioned earlier (who if you pay attention are probably immortal),

the immortal child (Funny how early it’s revealed that Czes is immortal in comparison to the books),

and a group of people of which the middle one seems to be in great pain.

You also know of an unknown figure reading an unknown message about finding someone, but that’s rather late in the story.

Point is, you are swiftly shown a lot of information you probably won’t piece everything together from, but will help give you one specific idea: Something bad happened on the Flying Pussyfoot and that (probably) included the supernatural.

Episode 2

Okay, I’ll now be writing as things happen, so I might remember names this time! And before I start, let me say this at least once. “Hah! Flying Pussyfoot is a silly name!”

I like the fact they left in the couple where the woman just calls stuff in advance.

I have to say, I am love with Isaac and Miria’s logic. “If we mine, we’re stealing from the earth!”. Along with that, the story of them being shouted at for panning for gold in other people’s land is something I want to hear more about. I’m being reminded that I damn well wish I knew more about Japanese Mythology to be able to directly pinpoint where Isaac went wrong.

Oh, and the letter from Ennis. I like how this directly implies than Ennis is not actually human without going “SHE’S A HUMONCULUS, NOT HUMAN” and then quickly makes you forget about that by having I&M start talking about this clearly means she wants a brother, rather than there having been previous people before her who were destroyed before she was created.

(Oh shit, this is gonna get looooooooong, I haven’t got past the I&M scene yet). This is followed by perfectly showing what I&M are like, by having them figure out how do to a train robbery. i.e not how you actually do one. And then I&M go to the train station, move past the Lemures, and then as they talk about the “Orchestra”, the camera zooms in on Rachel. If only the Dub hadn’t specified Vino’s gender, people might’ve thought she was Vino, that’s how the books spun it anyway. And then we get to Claire, who starts talking before coming on screen and has a conversation with Tony just before Tony gets murdered. It would have been nice if the other conductor got a couple lines here, but this does set up Claire’s anger at Tony being dead later on nicely.

Meanwhile, best panicking wreck of a leader, Jacuzzi Splot, explains what his group are doing on the train, namely stealing something. Then the anime moves focus from Nice to Czes, nicely implying that their aims/jobs are related. I’ll stop listing what happens now, but OH JEEZ I LOVE THE CUTS AND PANS AND FOCUS CHANGES. I don’t know much about cinematography, but this feels good to me. 

So to abridge a conversation: Nice: Why don’t you ask them? You might make some new friends. Jacuzzi: (Panics a bit) I don’t wanna. Nice then persuades Jacuzzi to go talk to Isaac and Miria. Not much meaning, but I just wanted to say, SAAAAAAME Jacuzzi. If not for @thingsarenotwholesome taking the place of Nice, I wouldn’t talk to a lot of people. but yeah, then Jacuzzi starts crying because he thinks he’s nothing but some delinquent. Props to I&M for supporting him in the only way they know: By being lovely, funny and acting ridiculously.

Some day Narita, I’d like to see how much of this is them faking it to avoid a bad topic and how much of it is their own joy in insanity. I just can’t accept “They’re a bit mad” with no other details, because even if Isaac routinely gets stuff wrong, he’s weirdly well read. I also love the fact that Jon and Fang spend their time calling out bullshit and commenting on what’s happening. It gives a nice contrast of the straight man, while not overpowering I&M and also properly showing what their influence on Jacuzzi is.

I like that the voice acting makes it clear that Czes struggled to say his own name. Clearly from the immortal thing. Good Dub there.

The Lemures in general feel much cultier than when I was reading the books. Perhaps because in the books the individual greed for immortality in the members is made clear before the operation starts, whereas this has them speak of their unwavering loyalty (yeah fucking right) to Huey Laforet, while the Conductor preaches about how this is all for the sake of freeing their “Glorious Leader”. Shame there’s a Claire on board.

Episode 3

And we start with poor Eve Genoard looking for Dallas, too bad some other poor person has him. [Edit Note: Look, you can’t expect me to remember every detail of the books perfectly, I barely remember what I had to eat most days]

 I love the Daily Days and their information based business model. The Runorata Goons just got to experience information based capitalism.

Well, I might have to source the music playing while Lua and Ladd are dancing. This is also the first scene where Lua doesn’t seem to only be some poor girl who was forced into something by Ladd, but someone who actually wants to be with Ladd.

I love Randy and Pecho, those glove burning fools. I’m also starting to realise how damn good this show is at giving you information in off-hand comments. From their short conversation we know they’re friends with Firo and that there’ll be a party, while also starting the fire that kickstarts the events of the Rolling Bootlegs.

Similarly, the anime then goes on to show that Firo is joining the Camorra as a Capo and that I&M are in town at the time. This is also why I’m writing so much, BECAUSE THEY MAKE SUCH GOOD USE OF THE TIME GIVEN. This reminds me though. Narratively, in the books, the hobo attempting to stab Firo happens just before the hat shop. I damn well wish we could properly place that scene somewhere chronologically in the show.  It could literally any time still during the depression after Firo becomes immortal.

The fight between Firo and Dallas' Gang really does show the fighting talent Firo has in an impressive way, which again makes Firo getting cut in episode 1 more frustrating.

And here is the first big change to Rolling Bootlegs! Firo does not have the time nor the bottles to swap about his wine with the immortality potion for the heck of it. I'm not sure how I feel about this change, but I will commend the 2016 Manga for keeping to the books on this. 

And then Jacuzzi finds the two corpses in the Conductors Wagon, which is surprising when you’re first watching considering we *know* the murderous conductor was using a gun, not sawing off people's faces.(Goddammit it Claire, kill cleaner) You could explain the second corpse as being the white suit we see get the uniform in the second episode, but if you’re looking at the corpses, the body with the face torn off is the one that looks like the Young Conductor, not the Lemure Conductor. This isn’t exactly important considering it’s revealed later, but i like that the detail can be seen. Hey, this anime is doing a better job at the Mystery genre than BBC’s Sherlock!

And at the end, with the faceoff in the Dinner Wagon, I'm calling it a night.

Well, I'll be posting this in the morning evening after as I'll be doing some formatting at my PC tomorrow, but it's midnight and I'm rather tired after MCM Manchester.

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: The Pilot

Rooting for Her and Cursing Her All in the Same Text

The Setup: Kris and Miri were early adopters (with a caveat below) of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and Liz binged season 1 once it hit Netflix. Marchae had never seen it, but finally volunteered to watch the pilot for friendship this blog, and Kris rewatched it to React with her.

After the fact, Miri had some reactions to their reactions, and Kris had a few more thoughts. As before, those annotations are in italics.

MARCHAE: Welllllll

I finished it

And took copious notes

And I experienced a variety of things

Emotions about it

KRIS: Is there a particular emotion you want to start with?

Or we can start with your thoughts and feelings that you went into this experience with so our hypothetical readers know where you’re coming from

MARCHAE: K so it was funny so there was that. I don't usually watch comedies so I LOVE when I laugh out loud in real life

I'm gonna go kind of in no order here

Then I was annoyed because I get that's she's "crazy" which is pointed about by her medications and the fact she says it several times

K there's that

And we get she was socially awkward at like 16

But this is a Harvard Yale grad who seems to not have evolved

MIRI: I’m going to refrain from saying “But that’s the point!!!” 8,000 times, for all our sakes

So they kind of make funny of the mental stuff that I don't know was necessary and then they paint her as desperate chasing after a skateboarder

How

Why and again why

KRIS: Hmmm definitely a lot to work with here

MARCHAE: And it there were these flimsy shout outs (sexy getting rest song - which I actually liked a lot) to feminism and double standards that I think they definitely could have played with given how quirky she is

And then there is Paula who why did we need Paula to support this woman insanity about wanting a man from when she was 16

MIRI: Paula’s evolution from Stock Enabling Best Friend to well developed supporting character who enables because of her own pretty clear issues is a really interesting one, but on reflection not super clear in the pilot.

So basically humor and annoyance were my primary emotions

Maybe I thought to hard about it

Oh and there was music 😒

Three times

Like legit musical numbers 😒😒

KRIS: Yes

But they’re fantasy sequences, and not that thing you hate where everyone in the world of the story is magically musical

MARCHAE: **meh** I don't love empire for the same reason but I'll give to you! In our minds we often live it out as a musical

MIRI: Marchae hates musicals so much. She is willing to watch opera though?

KRIS: I’m so torn between wanting to defend the show and wanting to re-examine the pilot on its own terms, because I very rarely come into a pilot completely blind nowadays

I think one relevant piece of background we can start with is that this was originally intended as a half-hour on Showtime

And once they get into the hour-long format I think they do get a lot more in depth with the stuff Sexy Getting Ready Song wants to do

K: Only after we finished this chat did it occur to me to put it this way:

It takes all the things you’d expect a network comedy called “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” to be about and interrogates them

but with music

MARCHAE: Then that is actually promising

I didn't know that this was hour long until I started watching

It's odd also because as much as I know about the characters at the end of the pilot I simultaneously feel like I know nothing

I'm now curious what half hour would have looked like

KRIS: That’s interesting

I guess let’s start with Rebecca

MARCHAE: I think she may be the primary issue I'm having and you're getting my first reactions here so bare with me

I think it's this juxtaposition I'm having with the notion of the career woman who drops everything for lust/love

KRIS: Is it that you’re not sure how the show wants us to feel about her?

MARCHAE: Yes! I'm not sure if I feel sorry for her

I'm not sure if I even like her beyond the fact that she's kind of just silly

Because the stakes are mismatched for me

Most people aren't just packing up and heading out for a skateboarding boo when they are that successful

So if she'd been forced to leave the job or had an ACTUAL relationship with josh I think the sensation I'm experiencing might have been a bit different

But maybe that's the "crazy" portion of the title

MIRI: Again, this is more of a long view note, but I would say that the greatest risk CEG takes is asking us to stick with the seemingly unfeminist beginnings long enough to see what they’re doing long term with their  deconstruction of the Quirky Romcom Girl. And I’m really really glad the show has been given time to get us there.

KRIS: Yeah, I think so, and now I’m wondering how the Showtime version of this would have played out long-term

There was a little backlash about the title, which surprised Rachel Bloom (the creator/Rebecca) and Aline Brosh McKenna (the showrunner), because to them it was always supposed to be ironic

MARCHAE: Hmmmm interesting

KRIS: So over the course of the show I’ve gone back and forth on whether I “like” Rebecca, but in ways that I think are deliberate

But I think some of the ways the first act sets us up to empathize with her are how we have this off-screen mother who’s throwing Expectations at her, and the butter (?) ad she keeps seeing asking her if she’s happy, which the show knows is ridiculous and maybe a little evil

And especially how her boss lists her qualifications for the promotion, which on paper and out of context would just say “this person burns herself out for the sake of other people”

MARCHAE: I'd be curious to watch the second (third) episode and see how I feel.

I don't need to like the characters necessarily but I don't necessarily "believe" her and not in the way we see Paula not believe her.

I wanted this to push more and I think I expected it (then realized this was a CW show and not much pushing could happen)

So I would hypothesize that on HBO this show would have done a couple of things

1. Tackled the idea of her giving I bet she would have even snapped at mom (who we know from jump is not normal) 2. I also think we she may not have been as "cute" 3. We also would have seen her push the boundaries of the contradictions women face at work and in life

KRIS: The CW definitely lets them push. If I had to guess I’d say that the reason it doesn’t go further here is that they just sort of padded their original 30-minute pilot and just didn’t have the material to fill it. The Daryl introduction scene in particular felt pretty slow to me on this rewatch

And some of the stuff with Greg at the party

Like there’s a lot of dead air in this

MIRI: The scene with Greg was also originally scripted to be much more extreme--a blow job instead of making out, etc. The Vulture TV podcast has a great interview with Rachel Bloom that touches on this!

MARCHAE: Yessss I checked the time a couple of times

KRIS: I think the cuteness is partly commentary, right? On what sort of person Rebecca’s been trained to be? Or do you mean something else

MARCHAE: I think that's part of it, absolutely! But, now this is a drama I'm about to mention so tonally I know it's different... but the show Being Mary Jane

We see Mary kind of a mess at certain points - at no point do we see RB a mess we see her desperate ALL THE TIME

And for me that's problematic

Even in her musical numbers she's perpetually "shiny"

That's what I call shows people in shows that are just too good to be true

KRIS: Well the musical numbers are definitely Rebecca as she wishes she was, or at least (when they’re angry or upset musical numbers) expressing herself with the clarity she doesn’t have in normal life

So are you saying you’re not really seeing big enough highs and lows for Rebecca?

K: Presumably this is where any longtime viewers of CXG are shouting BUT YOU WILL, MARCHAE, YOU WILL, GOOD GOD YOU WILL

MARCHAE: I suppose technically that is it - my long winded explanation is that she just does not have enough emotional variance or maturity. The maturity part I know absolutely part of her character and hopefully will be part of her arc

(I think I think to hard about comedies)

KRIS: No, I think this is definitely a comedy you can overthink

I think the Daryl scene, even though the pacing was weird, was important to provide a situation where the power differential is firmly in Rebecca’s favor

And to just show her in a less emotionally intense context

MARCHAE: But even there she started crying!!! PULL IT TOGETHER WOMAN!!!!!

I wanted to shake her

KRIS: Are you thinking of Greg?

Daryl’s her boss

Daryl cried

MIRI: I LOVE DARYL

MARCHAE: MY BAD!!!

wrong awkward man

MIRI: omg 💕💕💕

KRIS: Hahahaha

MARCHAE: Rebecca probably just screamed: "Now what!! Pay attention next time b****!"

K: I feel it’s important to note that Marchae censored herself here. Miri and I have no such restraint, which may become evident if we React to anything at least one of us hates.

KRIS: OK now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t have a problem with that crying moment in that she’s crying, but it definitely does seem to be where expanding from a half-hour hurt the structure

Because that would normally be end of act two, right, like maybe page 23 in a 30-something page script

And then that Paula scene is the triumphant climax

But they’re maybe too close together in an hour-long format

MARCHAE: So question and I'm cheating because I'm asking about future episodes and arcs

KRIS: Go for it

I don’t know how much you want me to explain so ask away

MARCHAE: Does she ever become more ....

KRIS: And if anyone’s reading this they’re probably caught up

MARCHAE: I guess how does she grow ? Does Paula enable her?

Or push her to be better

Not get better but so better for herself in the romantic dept?

KRIS: Paula 80 percent enables her and 20 percent pushes her

Hmmm yes and no

It’s definitely an up-and-down-and-up-and-down thing

MARCHAE: *cringe*

MIRI: I lied, I’m saying it once and you can’t stop me: That’s the poooiiinnnnttt. It’s a little annoying at first but SO GOOD once you see what they’re doing

KRIS: I’ll say at the end of season 1 she gets what she (thinks she) wants, and by the end of season 2 she’s lost it definitively

(I think they have a five-year plan)

MARCHAE: You had me rooting for her and cursing her all in the same text

KRIS: I think that’s EXACTLY how the show works

So obviously Rebecca’s really smart, and she does grow as a person, but a simplified version of what happens is that whenever she’s about to have a critical self-aware epiphany she gets the thing she wants that she shouldn’t want, and that sets her back

developmentally

MARCHAE: So basically she becomes an infant by the end of the season!!!!

NOoooooo

So now I want to watch the entire show to see how this plays out

MIRI: Yesssss!

KRIS: Did you want to talk about Paula issues?

MARCHAE: I do

But you answered that one for me because I was curious if we see Paula as sort of the antithesis of RB

So is Paula there for the sake of satiating her desire to have some drama in her life via RBs antics

?

KRIS: Yeah pretty much

And you meet her kids and husband

MARCHAE: Sweet grief I can't even imagine that home (actually I can-but I hope it is the opposite of what I'm thinking)

K: I really wanted to defend/say more about Paula but ultimately erred on the side of avoiding spoilers.

I do want to go back a few beats though to the to the fact that the show touches or intros the idea of RB being on some kind of medication for anxiety at the very least

Does the show explore that a bit more

KRIS: Yeah, definitely

You’ll meet her mom and there are some more flashback-y bits

And she gets a therapist

MARCHAE: *thank you to the heavens above ah-men*

Oh good

I was worried that it was just a device to say "hey she's crazy she's on medication!"

I am glad to know it's not!

KRIS: I mean Rebecca’s definitely in denial most of the time but the show knows she SHOULD be working through her stuff in a healthier way

MARCHAE: YES!!!

KRIS: Yeah, I definitely read the sink scene as a legitimate “oh noooo” moment

MARCHAE: That's what I thought - I wanted them to call back to it though in some way. Maybe show her looking for the medication and realizing: "uh yeah, I pitched those"

KRIS: I forget how soon her meds specifically get brought up again but I think right now she definitely just doesn’t think she needs them anymore

MARCHAE: Yeah I definitely over thought that one for sure

But so happy to know they work it out!!!!

KRIS: I should say that it does have the normal problem a lot of shows have, of episodes 2 and 3 being a little shaky (3 more so, if I remember right), but 4 is great

MARCHAE: So I'm in for at least five?

KRIS: Your call! But I definitely think it’s worth it.

MIRI: I actually missed a few episodes after the pilot because I feel second hand embarrassment so incredibly acutely that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to watch this show at all. Got sucked back in about halfway through the season and then went back to catch up.

MARCHAE: A lot to ask for me and a comedy, but curiosity (even for just a character development standpoint) has me wanting to binge

KRIS: There are also some really good supporting characters you haven’t gotten to meet yet

K: I am SO EXCITED for Marchae to meet Heather and Father Brah

If it helps to get through it, Allison Shoemaker does the episode reviews on The AV Club and she’s GREAT

MARCHAE: Ill have to check some of those out!!!

I'm skimming titled and notice we live with Josh all season

KRIS: He’s not really always a major character but they’re definitely through the lens of Rebecca’s obsession

MARCHAE: Which should be interesting it reminds of a thing you see a lot in thrillers (novels in particular) where the center of attention isn't always present but that idea of them makes you want more of them and provides simultaneously more insight into our actual main character

That's kind of cool

KRIS: Yeah

Any other thoughts?

MARCHAE: I think I got em all

NO LIED

Is it always a musical *in tiny tiny voice*

MIRI: Marchae once spent a solid five-ten minutes arguing her case for why tv musicals were not ok. ‘If I jumped up on this table and started singing you would think I was crazy! You’d tell me to get down before I broke my laptop!’ was more or less the gist. Arguments that all forms of media have their own absurd conventions had no impact. Also, she is fine with at least some theatrical musicals. We still love her.

KRIS: I think they average two numbers an episode? Sometimes there’s just one, sometimes they have 3, but I don’t think they’ve ever done an episode without any musical bits.

Or maybe two and a half. They do interesting things with little reprises and callbacks

But they cover a really wide range of styles

Daryl gets a country number

But Daryl also gets a bizarre electronica number

So

Yeah

MARCHAE: I did just shake my head in actual real life

KRIS: HA

MARCHAE: I guess you can't win em all

KRIS: There’s definitely white girl rapping

But it’s also kind of a highlight of the season?

(I’m listening to the soundtrack now to remember things)

MARCHAE: Lawd Jesus *insert spiritual humming and rocking and sings peace be still*

I'll make it!

It's a trade off. I think it'll be good

I think we got all my big questions

And small ones

KRIS: Go us

When you come to LA maybe we should go to West Covina

I actually have no clue if that’s a good idea

MARCHAE: HAHAHAHAHAH

I should google map it and take a gander

We hope we’ve successfully bullied Marchae into watching more of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and if so, we’ll be sure to check back in for a mid-season and/or finale follow-up post!

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

The Marvel of Trelsi (Part IV)

Welcome back, people. I need a Restraining Order against Real Life, which has taken up so much of my time. But let’s get back to Trelsi, because Trelsi is just life. 

Just a recap of this series: I’m getting to the bottom of Trelsi (Troy Bolton and Kelsi Nielsen) throughout the movie canon, as well as adding my own headcanon musings and commentary. I want to explore what makes them so compulsively rewatchable as a duo, and the potential of their relationship. So far, I’ve:

1- Introduced the duo

2- Answered my first question, “Who IS Troy Bolton?”

3- Answered my second question, “Who IS Kelsi Nielsen?”

4- Examined the opening scene between Troy and Kelsi during HSM I. 

For the last couple of days, I’ve been torn on what post to do next, as several of the next scenes between Troy and Kelsi reiterate much of what I said in Part III. Since the first scene between them is so emblematic of who they are and what they will become, we need to understand why their friendship from this point onwards, just WORKS. During this time, I can incorporate some of the scene analysis from HSM I and II for examples. So this will answer my question from the introduction:

Question: What makes the Trelsi friendship and dynamic so friggin’ special? Why does it make me want to weep and write poetry?

There are two major ironies in the HSM franchise. The first, as I will discuss in later instalments, is that the main couple are supposed to represent an ideal romance (there is no such thing), and instead represent a shipwreck. The second irony, relevant here, is that unbreakable bonds of friendship are ostensibly said to hold the cast of characters together. In Troy’s graduation speech, he says, “East High is making friends that we’ll keep for the rest of our lives.” If one watches the movies uncritically, this may appear to be the case: Sharpay repents at the end of each movie, warming up to Gabriella, Gabriella makes friends with Ryan, Chad and the Wildcats stop deriding Ryan as “Sharpay’s poodle” and make friends with him, Troy and Chad have been friends since play-school and so on. This is what the movies want us to believe.

The reality is that none of the above cited examples come even close to the quality of friendship that Troy and Kelsi share. Not even close*. There are of course exceptions. Taylor is a very good friend to Gabriella, and the only person to whom Gabriella actually shows some genuine affection and loyalty. Troy and Ryan have a strong friendship: Troy didn’t need Ryan to undergo some silly contest to become his friend.** Kelsi is eventually willing, by the beginning of HSM II, to push aside her grudge against Sharpay and become friends with Ryan (”Kelsi’s got some great new ideas to spice up the Talent Show!”): if not for the Royal Sham conjured in HSM III, things would have gone well for these two. However, the vast majority of friendships in the canonical franchise only represent a hollow echo of the word. Yet it is precisely these relationships that receive more airtime and are aggressively touted as commendable, whilst the genuine and wonderful friendship between Troy*** and Kelsi is lucky to even get four scenes out of movies that span almost two hours each. It’s unjust. It’s inexplicable. 

In order to DEFEND Troy and Kelsi’s friendship, I need to deal with my main contention: how Troy is treated throughout the series. Kelsi is, for the most part, fortunately spared of dealing with absurd levels of pressure, both professional and social, harsh criticism, staggering levels of hypocrisy, betrayals of trust, mockery and downright cruelty that Troy faces throughout from people alleged to be his friends. It is honestly depressing to see how little Troy gets in return for his own decent and kind acts towards other people, and how the script expects the viewer to ignore or worse, celebrate, this. I’ve done some reading on the Internet to find a comprehensive article explaining what makes a good friend-- in particular, a good friend to Troy, since he suffers more. Using this, I will demonstrate how Trelsi wins and many of Troy’s other friends fall far short of the mark. I will try and keep references to Gabriella’s behaviour to a minimum here, as she will be discussed when I examine the potential of Trelsi romance. 

You can find the link source I’m using here: 11 Signs of A True Friendship

1- “They accept everything about you, including your flaws.”

In my post about Troy, I discussed his dorky personality. Prior to Troy’s significant overcoming of social hierarchies and stereotypes in HSM I, it appears certain that dorks and nerds were viewed with disdain by the jocks. So the fact that East High’s Primo Boy and Playmaker is also a King of Dorks is social heresy. This is why Troy was at pains to hide his rooftop hideout from his friends: “Thanks to the Science Club, which means my buddies don’t even know it exists!” In other words, Troy was essentially telling Gabriella that his buddies don’t accept the real him. They’re in love with the image. Playmaker, Hoops, The Basketball Guy. This is what guides and motivates them. It’s only much later in HSM III that Troy tells Chad, “The Gardening Club is ready for you,” but even that is punctuated by 1)- Chad laughing at Troy for potentially getting into Juilliard, 2)- Chad barely attempting to understand any of Troy’s chronic indecision until the very end, 3)- Chad imposing his own view of who Troy should be upon Troy all the time. 

Furthermore, the Wildcats have no patience for Troy’s flaws. In HSM II, his weakness for trying to please all the people all the time is treated as a sign of arrogance and selfishness, rather than partially motivated by the insane pressure that THEY (as well as others) place upon his shoulders.**** In HSM III, Troy’s significant flaws for taking his relationship with Gabriella too seriously, of over-investing in it and not expecting anything in return, of taking each setback personally to the point of being unable to function properly, of refusing to see reason or be objective in said relationship or his friendships, are virtually ignored by the Wildcats. In fact, it appears they are irritated by his upset. I base this on Chad’s irritation with Troy for messing up the dance moves and songs in rehearsal. 

On the other hand, Kelsi completely accepts Troy as he is. No questions, no judgements, no mockery. As I stated in my analysis of Kelsi Nielsen, the crux of her innate understanding of Troy as a person is communicated in song. BoltonEvans has helpfully pointed to lyrics from “You Are The Music In Me” that demonstrate this, which I will reproduce here: “As I am/And you understand/And that’s more than I’ve ever known”. My personal favourite is from “I Just Wanna Be With You”, which really demonstrates Kelsi’s philosophy on friendship and what it SHOULD be: “A friend like you/Always makes it easy/I KNOW THAT YOU GET ME EVERYTIME” (Capital emphasis my own). Kelsi never requires Troy to change who he is, or to fit some model trope. A significant reason is based upon Kelsi’s personal experience; given that she has been treated as not socially acceptable enough to be considered cool, and knows how this feels, this has given her more incentive to be empathetic and non-judgemental towards others. Furthermore, Troy treated her as a human being and an equal, and thus Kelsi returns the favour, also seeing him in the same way.

As is always the case with Trelsi, this works in the reverse, too. Although many movies that use the Cool Guy and Nerdy Girl pairing often make the Nerdy Girl become “cool” before she can be with the Cool Guy, this trope does not exist when it comes to Troy and Kelsi. She’s still wearing her funky clothes, bandana’s (that bandanna in HSM III is so Jimi Hendrix), cut-offs and converses. She’s still got that sarcastic humour, likes to poke fun of things. She leaves a half-eaten apple on the piano. (This is sacrilegious. My mum always told me, don’t bring food to the piano. And tea! Honestly!) She whistles and sticks her hands in her pockets, and rolls her eyes at Sharpay. She still wanders around with wads of manuscript paper in her bag, and tunes out of her friend’s conversation at lunchtime to finish her songs. She’s between 16-18 and writes songs like an adult. And Troy totally accepts that. He does not change a single thing about who she is to make her socially acceptable for him. After all, he is Jock Supreme. Playmaker. Hoops Man. And he hangs out with a girl who knows NOTHING about sports (”basketball class”-- seriously still not over that one), probably doesn’t talk about “cool things” (I have learned that cool things include who slept with who and who tried E last Friday night) and has zero sense of fashion! :D Okay, that was my own insert. But you get the picture. East High is HIGHLY HIERARCHISED. The significance here is enormous, which begs the question of why we didn’t see MORE of this. 

Oh-- also, Kelsi is a girl. Troy’s buddies up til now are all boys and all part of a brotherhood in basketball. (”Buddies” always has the connotation of male friends). And he breaks away from them to make friends with a socially inept girl miles away from him on the social spectrum with NO EXPECTATION of sexual/romantic consequences. Given the tough-guy attitude of the Wildcats players, they seem to see girls as being there to be conquered. Chad in particular does not have a girl who is just his friend until the end of HSM I onwards. Yes, he likes Gabriella, but previously, he had called her a “temptress” because she was interfering with Troy’s “true” calling. (Damn the “female mind”! :D) He likes Gabriella because he approves of Troy’s relationship. And before Chad got on with Kelsi, he made a comment about her looks: “Do you know something about this? Small person?”, not even taking into consideration the fact that Kelsi was upset about the callbacks being re-arranged, too. But Troy just likes Kelsi because he likes Kelsi. He’s not interested in her looks, her relationships, her social status. He just likes her. What she DOES (i.e her mind/her skills) is “really cool”. He takes an interest in her life with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. That’s just SO awesome to me. 

2- “They stick with you through both the good and bad times.”

Oh, this one will be a BIGGIE when considering a certain lady, won’t it? :D 

During HSM I, Troy gives a completely contrived speech (these seem to be a speciality of his) during which he says, “I thought that you’re my friends! Win together, lose together. Team-mates.” There is a laughable irony in these lines, given that the Wildcats rarely display ANY of these basic requirements for friendship. Yes, they repent after seeing Troy downcast and hurt by Gabriella refusing to speak to him. But during HSM II, they quickly abandon him as a lost cause when the pressures of his job mean less time spent with them. Instead of reaching out, Chad yells at Troy then stops speaking to him. Only through Kelsi’s intervention does he decide to bury the hatchet-- and even then, not before Troy is forced to admit to being a jerk, whilst Chad makes no apology on his part. So no matter how frustrated and isolated Troy feels, he gets no sympathy from The Wildcats. No, he is the problem. He is arrogant and selfish by not devoting 110% of his time to them. (By the way, another website says (point #1) that real friends don’t make you feel like crap for missing social times to attend to work/career concerns. Take note, Wildcats. And a certain lady). During HSM III, they are rarely on hand with positive encouragement when he is 1)- struggling to make career decisions, 2)- struggling with Gabriella’s absence, 3)- struggling to stay motivated in rehearsal. Remember Troy sitting ALONE in the auditorium, staring into the nothingness? All the chairs next to him are empty, because the Wildcats are too engrossed in their own conversations to check on him. 

Kelsi is one of the few characters who truly exemplifies the loyal friend. Once she has become friends with Troy, the deal is sealed. Her loyalty is one of her best assets. In HSM II and HSM III, the key moments of encouragement for Troy come when Kelsi either stands by his side, or when she tries to cheer him up. 

By far my favourite scene in HSM II comes when Kelsi is the only one not to turn her back on Troy or freeze him out. Think about the significance of this. The Wildcats, upon hearing that Sharpay had banned employee participation, had most likely planned not to speak to Troy. What were their objectives? I think it was either to punish him. If they wanted him to change, they would and should have communicated their displeasure to him. The fact that they didn’t even have the decency to explain their anger shows that their motivations were vindictive. Given that Kelsi was, by this point, considered one of the Wildcats, she would have been expected to follow suit. After all, Troy was betraying the team. He was getting privileges whilst they were washing plates. (Obviously their interpretation, not mine). Can you see why Kelsi’s actions here are not only important, but downright HEROIC? Firstly, Chad glares at Troy and then leaves when Troy comes to sit down, which is insufferably rude. Then Jason makes eye contact with Troy, glares and turns his back on him. The hurt on Troy’s face makes it difficult for me to watch this scene. But look at Kelsi’s reaction: she is shocked and embarrassed by Chad and Jason’s behaviour and doesn’t know how to react. This may make it seem like Kelsi perhaps didn’t know about the Silent Treatment plan, but she was DEFINITELY there when Chad yelled at Troy (I rewinded to make sure), so perhaps she might have expected this. Then we see Troy turn to Kelsi, as though expecting her to just up and leave as well. He is confused. There is a cold silence in the room. What has he done wrong (this time)? Instead of leaving, Kelsi passes him the announcement and watches his reaction. Troy is stunned and shocked by this (because he had NOTHING to do with this!!!) and looks at Kelsi, presumably for an explanation, as he begins to realize why everyone is silent. And it’s the look that Kelsi gives him which clinches this scene as a classic Trelsi moment: it’s a silent “It’s not your fault”, and then that shrug, which seems to imply that she knows why everyone else is angry and doesn’t agree with their actions AND that he shouldn’t worry (perhaps not very helpful) AND that she is trying to downplay her own disappointment at Sharpay’s behaviour. (Although not successfully). But the main point here is that she does not blame Troy. She’s silently demonstrating loyalty to him, not freezing him out, not blaming him, whilst everyone else literally turns their back. It’s a silent act of rebellion that could have cost Kelsi herself, given that she was disobeying the Wildcats unilateral decision to punish Troy. But she still does it, once again demonstrating that she is no wallflower. She can resist. If that’s not true friendship, then I don’t know what is. 

I have already discussed the BEAUTIFUL, SQUEE-WORTHY Trelsi hug in HSM III at length here, but I will add that even though Sharpay commands Kelsi to get to the piano, she rebels, and instead goes straight to Troy. He is her first concern. She holds his hand, helps him to stand and then gives him a hug. He smiles back at her, and she smiles too. Once she knows she has lifted his spirits, she makes her way to the piano. Think about this. Kelsi has poured her heart and soul into the musical; the last thing she needs is a miserable and lifeless lead actor pining over his girlfriend. But the fact of her checking on him first sends a powerful message; that friends come first. Songs can wait. That even when Troy is at his lowest, she is RIGHT THERE BESIDES HIM. (”It’s hard to believe that I couldn’t see that you were always right beside me”/ “Through every up, through every DOWN, you know I’ll always be around”). Those lyrics are Troy and Kelsi in a nutshell. And again, there’s no need for dialogue here. There is a great reversal in roles between Troy and Kelsi in this scene, demonstrating that they are equals: in the first movie, Kelsi was down (both literally and emotionally), and Troy picked her up. In the third movie, Troy is down (literally and emotionally), and Kelsi picks him up. It’s “I’ve got your back, you’ve got mine.” 50-50. Partners. Equals. 

*squees and weeps* :D

Now if the movies had been more interested in Kelsi’s life outside of music, then I’m sure we would have had some scenes where Troy did the same for her when she was down. For example, a possible scenario could have been when Jason broke up with Kelsi (if that’s what happened) for Martha. (A possible theory proposed by BoltonEvans). I 110% believe that Troy would be there for Kelsi first, and NOT his basketball buddy for all the reasons I have illustrated. That would have been a GREAT scene. You see the enormous disadvantages in limiting Trelsi scenes, but inflicting us with the Bubonic Plague of Wildcat hypocrisy and calling it friendship. 

Okay, I have written enough today, but I will be back soon with more! 

(*FOOTNOTE-- On Gabriella believing Troy’s performance on the videotape. As a scientist, shouldn’t she have a bit more of an enquiring mind? :D If the direct WiFi streaming wasn’t suspicious enough, she could at least have sought Troy’s side of the story. To be fair, I have less of an issue with Gabriella’s behaviour in this movie as compared to the next two. Although, as I have stated before, if Gabriella could be so swift as to quit the musical in front of Troy, I very much doubt she bothered to tell Kelsi. Why? Because in HSM III, she quits the musical, and we have no choice but to assume that Kelsi was not in the know. These things may not be significant, but they do show how little respect Gabriella actually has for Kelsi’s time and effort. Look at her face in HSM III (top picture), when Troy reminds her that they’re doing a musical together. Like I said in the last instalment, it wasn’t as though she was eager to help Kelsi after her fall in the first place, was it? It’s insane and quite sad, given how much Kelsi (unfortunately) respects Gabriella).

(**FOOTNOTE-- Another reason why Chyan is a nonsensical ship and another example of Wildcat insincerity. Though Chad does genuinely like Ryan by the end of HSM II and HSM III, it’s clear that Chad had to check if Ryan was good enough to be his friend. Once he “approved” Ryan (almost entirely based on sporting ability and not character), then the Wildcats presumably stopped deriding him as “Sharpay’s poodle” behind his back. Eventually, in the third movie, Chad admires Ryan’s choreography. But when Chad laughs at Troy’s potential chance at attending Juilliard, he is demonstrating a lack of respect for Ryan’s passion (the Performing Arts), which makes it implausible that these two would ever work as a pairing).

(***FOOTNOTE-- It’s worth noting that every friendship with Troy in is either 1)- exemplary, or 2)- completely one-sided because the other person doesn’t put in half as much effort as Troy does. This underlines the innate value of Troy as a hero, and demonstrates how seriously he takes the matter of friendships and relationships. There’s no half-stepping with Troy, as I will discuss when examining the potential for Trelsi romance. He’s in 110% or he’s out. The only person with whom he wavers is with Sharpay, but that’s only because Sharpay pursues him to the point of active inconvenience/discomfort/annoyance. Even then, he was willing to put aside his annoyance with her in HSM II out of compassion and a sense of duty. Hence why, in a rare moment of likeability and humanity, Sharpay said, “You’re a good guy, Troy.” )

(****FOOTNOTE-- I have to seriously question how good the East High Wildcats are as a basketball team. Forget the catchy slogan. I’m a sports fan, and like Troy said, it’s a TEAM effort. (Clue is in the name). If they could, according to the ever-helpful Chad, fall apart just by the idea of Troy auditioning for a musical, then what does that say about their game plan? To be quite frank with you, I’m surprised they hadn’t lost more games given the pressure they put JUST on Troy to deliver. Chad’s claim that the Wildcats would “get their sorry butts kicked” if Troy was auditioning seems a declaration of general incompetency. What did they do if Troy is ill or injured, as I’m SURE he must have been in the past? They might as well not show up! There are perfectly brilliant players who perform poorly in a particular team because their team-mates don’t put in as much effort, or aren’t co-ordinated together. I think Mr. Bolton is a capable coach, but even he admits that he puts too much pressure on Troy! “And without you, COMPLETELY focused, we’re not going to win next week.” Why only Troy? From what we can see, Chad is integral to the team as well; Troy relies upon his assists to score. Isn’t this what Troy said in HSM II to Mr. Evans? Jason has the same value. “There’s twelve people on this team, not just me,” said Mr. Perfectly Reasonable. Alas, no one ever listens to him). 

[getoffthesoapbox]

(1) Thank you for your reply! Yes, I've read Berserk and I can see why you compare those two, but Griffith is a manifestation of the word "ambition" to me, and Charioce gives me different vibes, like what he does he does out of something way more personal??? Idk how to explain this because we don't have enough info on him yet. I mean, Charioce is ambitious, yes, but I don't think he sees his task as his ultimate dream, unlike Griffith.

(2) And they are alike in the way that both will do whatever it takes to reach their goal but it seems like Charioce hasn’t lost his humanity completely yet, while Griffith is, like, beyond salvation. Btw, about Mugaro. I’ve rewatched last episodes and now I think - what if it was all planned in some way? I mean, the meeting of Azazel and Mugaro? Because if you think about it closely - isn’t it too convenient for them to meet that way? And it was Mugaro who chose to stick with Azazel.

(3) I mean, if it’s Jeannes’ child, her own flesh and blood or not, I don’t think she’d give her kid away that easily, and more so, voluntarily. I see some conspiracy here lol. I feel like Mugaro may have a certain plan in mind that we’ve yet to find out and it probably involves Michael. What do you think about it? Oh, and I’m sorry for this long message again. It’s just that I find SnB to be AOTS lol

You’re absolutely welcome! As you can see from my insane recap posts, I’m pretty crazy about SnB:VS, so it’s always a pleasure to talk with others who love it too.

Oh, I’m so glad you know Berserk! Makes things much easier. ;D And you’re right, Griffith absolutely is a different kind of character than Charioce, of course. Griffith is the “ambitious dreamer” archetype. Charioce is probably closer to Azazel actually than Griffith, ironically–I think he’s more of an avenging angel type, if I’m reading him right. Something deeply scarred him in his past and he’s taking out on the world (he’s basically closer to being a bitter nihilistic totalitarian than Griffith’s more standard “I want to remake the world in my image muahahah” idealism fufu.) My point in comparing them was more to demonstrate that it’s very easy to create a likable villain who is understandable, relatable, and even admirable in some ways, rather than to say they’re identical characters, if that makes sense lol. =)

Mugaro’s indeed the greatest wild card in this story, if I’m honest. I’m not sure what the deal is with him/her. I’m torn on Mugaro being a direct rebirth of Michael (like a phoenix, where when Michael dies, Michael is “reborn” from the ashes in a sense, with no incubation period required) and just raised by Jeanne/adopted by Jeanne or if Mugaro’s an immaculate conception of some kind. At this point, everything’s up in the air. It could also be a straight up lie that Jeanne told Charioce in order to protect Mugaro’s “true” origins, such as Mugaro being Micheal regressed to a child form because of losing so much power, etc. 

I’m not sure what I think about who’s pulling the strings with Mugaro (if anyone) or if chance/fate is at play. It’s quite possible that Jeanne had a plan for Mugaro that just backfires when Azazel crashes the party, and Mugaro takes the opportunity to escape. It’s also possible that this is all part of Mugaro’s plan and Jeanne’s just covering for him/her. What these plans are (and if there even is a plan of some sort) is anyone’s guess at this point. XD That’s why I haven’t strayed too far into speculation territory on this part of the story yet. We’re just missing too many of the pieces to the Mugaro side of the puzzle. We also don’t even know where Favaro fits in at this point, or Bahamut. Everyone could be working toward different end games, and only the later episodes will reveal who’s on whose side. 

I definitely think that no matter what the deal is with Mugaro, he/she has some goal in mind, and that involves Azazel and Nina in some capacity. Mugaro’s avoiding Sofiel even though arguably he/she shouldn’t be afraid of angels, and he’s/she’s also avoiding letting Azazel know the extent of his/her power. Nina’s so dumb it doesn’t matter. XD Mugaro’s playing a close hand here, and trust doesn’t seem to extend very far to anyone. Mysteries, mysteries. XD

Hopefully we’ll get more meat on the Mugaro side of the story soon, as well as some nuance to Charioce. =) 

[roseangelx]

Semi-Coherent Thoughts on The Lying Detective

I will start by saying that the most recent episode of Sherlock is one of my favourites - definitely in my Top 5, possibly even in my Top 3. I’ll also point out that I realised it had become one of my favourites about an hour into it, before everything that happened in the end happened. I liked The Six Thatchers, I think I mentioned, but this one was a huge step up and I was gripped from the start. 

Like last week, this is less of a review and more of a list of thoughts on the episode that are not particularly well-structured or coherent. It’s also stupidly long, but I have dot point summaries, so don’t worry!

Grief

I read a quote from an interview last week where one of the writers mentioned that they wanted to do grief properly in this episode, and I definitely think they succeeded. We didn’t really see John grieving after Sherlock’s death - more of it was focussed on the anger and hurt that came with Sherlock’s return. I was so glad that his emotional response to Mary’s death was not glossed over. The way he behaved and the way he spoke was entirely believable - which, yes, includes him beating Sherlock up, though it most certainly doesn’t justify it. That scene was heart-shattering as well because of Sherlock’s own grief, and his guilt. He blamed himself for Mary’s death, and so did John. He let John hurt him because he thought he deserved it. 

I loved that John was also talking to the Mary inside his head (hereafter referred to as Mental Mary). From a storytelling standpoint, I thought it was an exceptionally clever idea. John doesn’t like talking about his feelings, we know this. As he said in The Empty Hearse, that sort of conversation is something he finds difficult. That he could talk to Mental Mary was a brilliant way of getting around it, letting us see the kind of things that he was keeping bottled up, and also letting us see the moment at the end when he was able to start letting her go. He’s still grieving, he’s still got a lot way to go, but at the end, he was able to forgive Sherlock, to recognise that Sherlock was not to blame for Mary’s death, and in doing so, he’s finally opened the door, ready to slowly, slowly start moving on. 

I have an especial love for Mental Mary in her final scene, telling John to stay and talk to Sherlock - and in doing so, letting us know that he truthfully wanted to stay, but was struggling with it, because there was so much pent up emotion there and he knew that it would all come out if he stayed. And it did. He told Sherlock about the “affair” and fell apart, and then there was the hug, which was everything I wanted in the episode. It’s the one scene that has been screenshotted and gifed more than anything else at this point, and for good reason. They both needed that. 

I’m in constant awe of Martin Freeman’s acting, and this episode was no exception. Combine this with his reaction to Mary’s death in the last episode, and I definitely think he deserves an award. 

tl;dr:

I loved the portrayal of John’s grief

I adored Mental Mary as it allowed us to get inside John’s head and see the things he’d never say out loud

The hug. That is all. 

Martin Freeman deserves all the awards

Drug Use

I have quite a lot of thoughts regarding Sherlock’s drug use, and a lot of them aren’t quite fully-formed, so I apologise in advance if this particular section is incoherent.

I spent most of this week rewatching some of the Sherlock commentaries from the first couple of seasons, as a way of tiding myself over before today’s episode. During the A Study in Pink commentary, Moffat and Gatiss actually discuss Sherlock’s drug use, very briefly. In the ACD canon, Sherlock Holmes doesn’t use when on cases, or when emotionally distraught, but when he is bored. It’s a stimulant to stop his brain from rotting - he needs cases, and if he doesn’t have a case, he needs something else. Moffat and Gatiss mentioned that they disliked adaptations where Holmes goes and uses while on a case, because it was completely inconsistent with the canon. 

With this in mind, I was a little unsure about how they were going to approach this episode. I knew this episode would involve drug use, and given the commentary, that didn’t make sense. Having seen the episode now, I think it does make sense, because there was an explanation on top of the emotional distress caused by Mary’s death and the guilt. Sherlock using was part of a plan, a plan to save John Watson by making John Watson save him, and that makes his use a little more believable.

I’m not dismissing the emotional aspect of it - Sherlock was very, very distraught, and it seems likely to me that, while his original decision to use might have been motivated, in part, by Mary’s message, the fact that he spiralled so deeply out of control definitely wasn’t part of the plan. But, that’s the thing about drugs, isn’t it. You can’t plan. And Sherlock certainly has a road to recovery ahead of him that is not going to be easy by any means.

Moving past motives to the actual portrayal of a high Sherlock Holmes - I loved it. I loved that even high, Sherlock is still making deductions, but can’t quite catch up to his own head, knowing that something is important but not knowing why. I loved the entire sequence with Sherlock losing time, going from the middle of the road to Baker Street, walking on walls and taking “high as a kite” to an almost literal definition. I’m impressed by the portrayal of it. 

tl;dr

I liked that there was an explanation for the drug use beyond just the emotional distress (i.e. it was, in the beginning, all part of a plan), because otherwise it would seem inconsistent with the ACD canon

The emotional distress still played a part and my heart goes out to Sherlock 

The actual portrayal of Sherlock on drugs was very clever and very well done 

Relationships

First, let’s discuss the unexpected relationship that was Mycroft and Lady Smallwood. I recognise that a lot of people are dissatisfied, because Mycroft is most commonly shipped with Lestrade. I’m not personally a Mystrade shipper (I confess to shipping Molly and Lestrade, actually), but I have had Mycroft headcanoned as aromantic for the previous few series. Well, that’s a lie. I was torn between headcanoning him as aromantic or believing that he has had experiences that have given him reason to believe that “caring is not an advantage” - though typically my aromantic headcanon wins out. Still, I found Mycroft’s confusion in the scene incredibly endearing. I’m accepting of the pairing. 

The other relationship, or at least, idea of a relationship, that stands out to me in this episode is Sherlock and Irene. This is a pairing that I’m not quite so accepting on. I mean no offence to anyone who does ship them together, but - Irene is canonically gay, and I cannot accept the idea that Sherlock is straight, not with quotes such as “Girlfriend? No, not really my area” and “The fairer sex is your department, Watson”. I know it’s likely that this is all queerbaiting, but I’d rather hold onto the idea that the things Sherlock says are actually reflective of his character. 

I’m entirely accepting of the idea that Irene would infrequently text Sherlock. I’m not surprised by this at all. I’m also not surprised that John would think that means something more than it does. But, I’m going to hold onto the idea that these texts are flirting that Irene does not expect or want to lead to any sort of actual romantic entanglement. 

I will say that I loved John’s speech on the matter, though, which sounded to me like he was telling Sherlock that he deserved to be loved and to be with someone and that he shouldn’t wait until it’s too late. 

Just while we’re on the subject of relationships, I’m very pleased to know that John’s “affair” was no more than texting. The John Watson we know would not let it go any further than that. The idea that John Watson would even accept the number of another woman is still a bit out of character, but I suppose we all do silly things - especially if your best friend and your wife live insane lives and you want some sort of normality. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that the pretty girl on the bus wasn’t normal, either. 

tl;dr

Mycroft not knowing how to respond to Lady Smallwood is adorable 

Sherlock and Irene definitely text (or, at least, Irene texts, Sherlock receives) but neither of them are romantically or sexually attracted to each other, because they don’t swing that way

I can forgive John for texting another woman more than I’d have been able to had he done more with her 

Eurus

Here was something I did not expect. I know we all expected the lady on the bus to be more than who she said she was, and I know many people worked out that she and the “Lady in Red” (who we now know to be Fake Faith) were the same person just from the trailers and promo pics, but I did not expect this turn of events. I’m actually very excited about the matter - I assume Eurus will be the villain of the final episode, and it’s about time we had a female villain, especially one as fascinating as her. 

It’s already clear that Eurus is incredibly clever. She’s a master of disguise, for one thing, but it’s more than that. Sherlock was able to predict, two weeks in advance, which therapist John would go to and which appointment he would take. Eurus was able to make the same deduction even earlier, and take the therapist’s place. She was able to fool Sherlock (and yes, she had the advantage of him being as high as a kite, but all the same), and maybe even Mycroft, if he doesn’t know what she’s been up to. 

People are making predictions, based on the line “people always stop after three”, that Eurus isn’t the only secret sibling, and maybe she’s not Sherrinford. I’m undecided as to what I think of this theory. It’s an interesting idea, and it makes sense, as far as the fact that we know Mycroft is supposedly keeping tabs on Sherrinford and said earlier “Sherrinford is secure”. However, it’s also making the explanation a lot more convoluted - Occam’s Razor says Eurus is Sherrinford. Or, alternatively, that Sherrinford isn’t a person at all - a friend of mine just suggested the possibility that Sherrinford might actually be a facility where Eurus was meant to be residing, hence it needing to be ‘secure’. Either explanation, I’m very, very excited to see what she’s like in this next episode. And by excited I mean terrified. 

tl;dr

Eurus might be the cleverest Holmes sibling we’ve met yet

It remains unclear whether Eurus is Sherrinford or if there are two missing siblings or if Sherrinford is not a person’s name but a place name - but either way, it’s exciting 

Other Thoughts

Mrs Hudson is easily my favourite part of the episode. I think we’re all in agreement of that. 

I loved that Sherlock made sure to take twisted, turning paths when he was walking with Fake Faith/Eurus with the sole purpose of writing a message to his brother, who he knew would be tracking him. He does love to be dramatic. 

The hug. Let’s just talk about the hug again. Thank you for that.

Who was taking care of Rosie? Given we know that at one point John was in therapy, Sherlock was in the boot of Mrs Hudson’s car, and Molly was en route in an ambulance, I’m going to say it was Lestrade

I really liked the way suicide was spoken about in the episode

Culverton Smith was a terrifying villain, though not in the same way as Magnussen, for which I’m very relieved, because I still cannot watch the scene in HLV where Magnussen flicks John’s face and I don’t know if I could have dealt with another Magnussen 

I loved this episode, full stop.