#these are just my ramblings feel free to ignore

[felassan]

I received a few asks around a similar topic, so I'm popping them together here. ( ´ ▽ ` ) DA:TV spoilers under cut.

[the Felassan Files]

hello! ◕‿◕ thank you for the lovely and fun ask messages!!

lavendervoids asked: "i’ve been dying to know what ur reaction was to seeing felassan in the game was???? the moment i saw him i was yelling and hollering and my first thought was “omg what does tumblr user felassan think of this” LMAO and thank you for all the documenting you’ve been doing up until and past the release of the game, i ended up blocking every dragon age tag a couple months back to avoid any sort of spoilers but i still came to your blog everyday cause i knew you wouldn’t spoil me haha"

hhhh ( ´ ▽ ` ) tysm for thinking of me at that time!! and for the nice comment about this blog and visiting it. I'm really glad to know that my approach to spoiler tagging etc has been okay for you.

littlerune asked: "i don't even know you but you and dragon age felassan are so intrinsically linked in my brain that when he appeared in veilguard all i thought was "ohhhh i wonder how tumblr user felassan feels about this"

hhhh :D 🥺 thankyou so much for thinking of me!! ♡ some say that his ghost operates this tumblr blog, or that he lives still

songofamazon asked: "I'm still on my first play of the game, but whenever I got to the memories in the Crossroads, I thought to myself, "I hope Tumblr Felassan is having a great time. Did you?"

I had a great time playing the game and when playing the Crossroads memories sections, I loved them a lot, they were very cool and a highlight of the game. thankyou sm and for thinking of me, and I hope that you did too!!

phantabula-interactive asked: "im so glad you're enjoying the game!! I had to ask; how did you feel about seeing Felassan in game?? I was so excited to see the notes from him, I wasn't expecting a boss fight MUCH LESS. FULL CAMEO!!! They made him a lot prettier than I was expecting too (/pos)"

thankyou!! I hope that you've been enjoying it too!

so: I was sooo excited and shook to see Felassan in the game!!! I was like

(I yelped/hooted out loud like a clown) and then

and then it was suddenly like too much (pos) and my soul left my body and i astral projected into space/paradise/the Astral Plane/the Void or something etc

and then it took me some time to process or gather my thoughts about it.

obviously I was super hoping that we would see him in the game. I was sure that there would at least be some references to him in codexes/notes etc or allusions made in passing dialogue like Cole and Solas' lines about him in Trespasser. then when the marketing mentioned that we would see flashbacks from Solas' past in the Crossroads, I was like aaa omg, wouldn't that be the perfect time to actually show Felassan??, as a Fade memory or flashback or spirit echo or something. so then I was hoping like 🕯️🕯️🕯️ and yea. but even so, still when I saw him in game for the first time it was still a huge shocked Pikachu moment for me.

I was already feeling psyched from the first Felassan codex/note that I found, then I couldn't believe (pos) just how many codexes/notes scattered around written by him that there was?? I was already feeling spoiled (not spoiled by spoilers but like spoiled from eating good) from that (a bunch of codexes/notes might not seem like a lot but when your fav is a side character that has only appeared in one [1] tie-in novel..) and then he goes and actually APPEARS, AAAA. I feel like I ate so good. with the Betrayal fight and the rune at the end as well, it felt like he was threaded throughout the game and was really haunting the narrative. some assorted thoughts:

first of all everything about his DA:TV appearances/DA:TV references continues to underscore that he is the greatest of all time

it also continues to underscore the pain of his death/story and of his friendship with Solas

may I please go and start a new life living in Solas' memories of Felassan on repeat. i simply do not care that my body would waste away in the waking world from lack of sustenance

in the endgame I was trying to concentrate and punch Elgar'nan in the face and save the world but I like couldn't see straight through the tears after having been given Felassan's Magical Boyfriend Super Rune (morrigan pls.. what a way to twist the KNIFE at an extremely critical moment for thedas hhhh..)

expansion pack where we relive Solas' memories of him and Felassan dating (he didn't deserve Felassan tho fr. but then, does anyone..?)

I know that Felassan would treat Lavellan sooooo right. so well. so respectfully. felassan would pull their chair out for them at restaurants and open car doors and whatever

Betrayal of Felassan refers to Solas' betrayal of Felassan, not Felassan's betrayal of Solas

also i love how they made him DEVASTATINGLY handsome?? in the game (they didnt need to go that hard), but also how, at the same time - even before the TME Deluxe edition illustrations, we all just inherently knew deep in our bones that he was, you could simply just tell from his energy and vibes and dialogue even in only the written word. cool rolls off this guy in waves, and always has done

did his model have smoky winged eye makeup? love that. love that for him

I liked his sense of style. the hair his model has happened to be one of the ones I was debating using for my Rook. it's one of my fav ones from the CC

I appreciated the attention they paid to detail when making his model. Mythal vallaslin, violet/purple eyes, an undercut - as he was previously described or shown in TME, dev social media comments and the TME deluxe illustrations

I liked the actor they chose for him, his voice was cool

I felt like his codexes and notes that he wrote captured his voice and his character. you can see the depth of his loyalty and devotion to his friend, his concerns, and he retains his 'voice' in terms of some snark, wit etc

it's fun thinking about whether Felassan originally manifested from the Fade (and if so, what was he a spirit of) or whether he was born the usual way of other elves. (it could be either one)

Betrayal of Felassan as a manifested embodied regret and its lines like "his back, turned".. very raw. that fight was hard enough mechanically for me as it was, then the lines were like being hamstrung LOL. how could they??? (pos/lh)

I always thought that, a long time ago, Solas was essentially the player character in a different game, the main character of another story. the leader of his own group of companions and friends on their own quest (to stop the Evanuris), and that Felassan was one of those companions. Alistair to his Hero of Ferelden if you will. in DA:TV we learn that not only was he one of his companions, he was basically the second-in-command of his rebellion, a General, his closest friend aside from Mythal and his right-hand man.

he was so cool back in his heyday

pain. paaaaain. but like in a good way (I unironically love to be hurt by stories pls continue 💀...)

there are a few further posts containing more bits of my reaction and thoughts scattered through my Felassan tag. ^^

There were also a few other asks about this in my inbox, but Tumblr appears to have eaten them?? :< so if you've asked me about Felassan and my reaction since launch but the message isn't in this post, thankyou sm and I'm very sorry. 😔 pls feel free to re-send it. :)

I do remember that one of the vanished messages asked me what the Slaughter of the Pillars boss regret refers to - the Pillars of the Earth are the Titans. ("Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!") That undead boss embodies another of Solas' greatest regrets, namely what he and Mythal did to the Titans during the war with them - sundering every Titan from their spirit, severing them from their dreams, which resulted in the Blight as the dreams were driven mad. it also in a sense broke the dwarves in two and caused the fall of the fate of the dwarven people. Beyond the mural-memory that pertains to this in DA:TV, there are depictions of this time in the ancient past in the DA:TV artbook: [one, two]. Annotations there describe Solas rendering the Titans tranquil and capturing their souls; dwarves as a consequence then losing their connection to magic and fleeing into the now-Tranquil earth; and the Evanuris then building Elvhenan using the power of the captured Titan souls.

[dootznbootz]

My childhood friend said that my Odysseus looks like a mix of Chappell Roan and Griffith from Berserk and that thought is killing me. It's too correct.

(Lovely doodle of my boy courtesy of the wonderful fellow trashcat @thehelplessmortals :3 )

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Random thought that I’m probably not articulating well, and maybe I’m deeping it too much, but I do find it a little alarming how much fanart I see that captures these characters’ beauty in the form of what is, essentially, Instagram/social media standard of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has the creative freedom to create what they want to create, and I can’t exactly say shit because I can barely draw a stick figure, but I’ve seen so many depictions of ACOTAR characters where they look like they’re pumped full of lip filler and other shit, where it looks like they have an Instagram filter on them, where there’s almost an uncanny look to them, and I find it interesting and, quite frankly, a little worrying, that that’s what so many people equate these characters’ stunning beauty to, as if they could not be beautiful any other way. We know that they’re supposed to have an ethereal, otherworldly beauty, because they’re ethereal, otherworldly beings, but it’s almost as if people have forgotten that there is beauty in things like freckles, and dimples, and different body types, and natural features and characteristics that make us who we are. It’s interesting that so many people translate that beauty into the carbon copy social media influencer standard of beauty, as if natural beauty isn’t quite enough. This isn’t everyone, of course — I’ve seen so much beautiful fanart that captures the beauty of these characters without turning them into instagram models. But there’s also a scary amount that does exactly that — maybe from younger members of the fandom? I don’t know. And I guess that has me wondering…is that all many people see beauty as now? Have we stopped appreciating the natural things about people that make them who they are? 🤔

[cosmowgyral]

Me not thinking that the default name of the MC of Ikemen Villains was inspired by the current Princess of Wales. If so, can we assume William (possibly named after the Prince) to be the canonical route of the game? 😂

[waterfallofspace]

Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-

Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???

[merquplex]

Replaying Unwound Future!

....part 2

spoiler warning!!

(the other thread was becoming too long lol)

wow... he's so mean

(more under keep reading)

i see you quickly changing the subject, clive. but you can't fool me

i know that lighthouse is your secret mobile fortress...

he's so done with everyone lol he's just like me for real

'professor, what exactly is the appeal of these so called 'hint coins' and 'hidden puzzles' that you seek so desperately?'

i love taking him everywhere and seeing what he has to say!

[foreststarflaime]

So do you have any ff7 language and accent headcanons?

MY LINGUIST HEART IS EXPLODING TY yes ofc I do let’s see…and I’ll almost assuredly be talking cultural hcs too because language and culture are inextricably entwined

I’ll start with Banora/Mideel (I am much more familiar with Banora) since I mentioned that most recently! That area gives me such uk vibes, especially Banora. Not to mention that Genesis already has such a borderline posh voice. I like to hc that Reeve comes from somewhere around there and that Cait Sith’s voice is his native accent! But then I am torn because with the Rhapsodos family…greek names…ancient greek values and similarities displayed in Genesis and Angeal…so tempting. So I kind of imagine Banora at least as kind of a mix of those cultures (which would work pretty well I think, I know of quite a few overlaps in values between homeric and anglo-saxon values, and greek folklore does give me a similar vibe to celtic folklore) (ah you see there I go, using language and culture interchangeably already)! Ancient Greek at least is a very lyrical-sounding language (it’s theorized that the different accents were used to show differences in pitch) and I feel like it would fit perfectly in Genesis’ voice especially! Also I like to hc that his parents’ names are Peleus and Thetis for the Achilles reference >:)

For Gongaga and Nibelheim I’m more mainstream, love the Zack speaking Spanish and Cloud speaking Old Norse hcs so much! Don’t have much else to say about Gongaga, wonderful as is. Nordic Nibelheim is so special to me bc people always conflate ‘norse’ with vikings when that’s so not all there is ;-; there’s the Vanir as well as the Aesir! And even just thinking about it for so little time rn the Fenrir myth does fit him

Wutai is meant to be based off Japan (I’m fairly sure, I know so much less than I should about that part of the world so anyone feel free to add on). I do love that—people who have different first languages actually think differently, because their brains learn to process and codify things differently based on what the grammar of their language focuses on and how their words are constructed and so forth (it’s very much a chicken or the egg type situation). And with Japanese being in an entirely different language family, the breakdowns in communication that can occur due to people not doing enough research on the differences in cultural thought can be massive and disastrous. Which works so realistically well for the whole Shinra vs Wutai conflict.

As for Midgar, cities are often little islands dialect and accent wise. Lots of different accents and languages and dialects from all over the place mixing together to create something new. I like to hc that being surrounded by so many conflicting accents Sephiroth can mimic them pretty well, even though Hojo tried to knock everything out of him but the ‘normal’ ‘educated’ accent (there is no such thing as not having an accent. Your speech is marked inherently by being different from another person’s speech). Hehehe I like to imagine that spending so much time with Genesis and Angeal and actually liking and wanting to be like them he’s picked up quite a few Banoran mannerisms :) like me when I lived in the uk for a few months and suddenly now I say “you’ve not” instead of “you haven’t” and still pronounce “vase” and “island” weird take me back there nowwwww

[sodantics]

repost of life series rambles from my priv lol

"i said this in DMs too but Grians hubris is one of the reasons I grew so fond of him, and especially in this series where he has some more.. tangible reasoning, to consider himself above the other players, seeing the others be soo tempted by the idea to take him down a peg is so tasty. I'm to some genuine degree hoping he goes off by himself after this episode due to pouting about mumbo and skizz "holding him back" despite them being some of the only players putting up with his BS this season lmao

I hope his downfall ends up being just that, his own view of himself as "better", causing him to throw away the only allies he seems to have this season (other than bigB, maybe? but frankly, I never know what the FUCK that mans is up to HAHA), and everyone turning on him.... nods. Basically mostly I wanna see my fav littol guy suffer a tad, ykno?"

I have sooo many thoughts after this episode. I thought for sure at least one player would be out too.. I was in w2g with a friend and let me TELL YOU I lost my fucking shit when Grian said "You ran to me and died like I was gonna save you.." just a fucking completely bonkers thing to say. There was a lot of moments like that this session honestly. That one just left a bit of an impact on me HAHA Very fun, very fun....

[nanihirunkits]

okay maybe i actually am able to work some magic in photoshop sometimes

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

can someone please banish this writer's block for me 😫

it's the worst i've had in such a long time and i've tried to be patient with it but it's been fucking weeks now. i want to write so much but whenever i try they just feel like words on a page. every evening i sit down and rearrange them a little here and there and add some new ones, but they all just feel empty and and shit and my brain feels totally devoid of the creative spark i need to make everything come to life.

i know in large part it's my perfectionism getting in the way, but i don't know how to break through it. i don't know how to feel connected to my writing again. i don't know how to shift this fear of not being good enough that surges up every time i pick up a pen.

it's something that's always been there - but usually it at least comes in waves, or my love of what i'm creating is big enough to muffle it. right now, it's all i can hear. my inspiration has been totally drowned out by it. and i hate it so, so much. the fact that i can't access the one thing that brings me the kind of solace and joy and escapism i can't get anywhere else and is so vital to my soul. that i am blocking myself from engaging in the one thing that makes me feel like me.

i just feel so stuck and so lost and i miss being in that creative headspace so much it’s like a physical pain. it feels like part of me is missing, and it terrifies me that i don't know how to get it back.

[l3viat8an]

Hi Ro, it's been a hot minute (nope I'm not dead) but my adhd brain is going off on one again.....

I'm guessing that you know Stardew Valley, if not use whatever your fav game is, but I'm just imaging the brother trying to play stardew with MC and just not getting it.

Lucifer's trying really hard to get to grips with the game, Mammon's off somewhere trying to get all the money he can, Levi doesn't understand that you just wanna relax so he's pulling out all the speed run strats, Satan's getting pissed vuz he doesn't know why his character isn't doing what he wants it to do, Asmo's still in character creation, Beel what's all the food Gus is selling and Belphie is just out cold irl. While Mc is sat there going 'this is fine' while just tryna plant strawberries before spring 16th.

Love you Ro -🃏

Hiii 🃏!!! Glad to see you around again ‘n I totally get adhd brain sksjks Okay, but hear me out- I agree mostly just a couple little thoughts

Like how Lucifer is annoyingly good at almost everything so I think he’d catch on pretty quickly and he’d honestly enjoy the farming and planing out crops imo. although he’ll never admit it. He is having fun.

Mammon is absolutely off somewhere trying to make money- but if you point him in the right direction (to The Mines) and show him how he can get gems and even gold- he’ll be hooked! and suddenly he’ll have a full set of gold tools too.

Nothing to add about Levi. He totally would be doing a speed run to show off lolol

What’s Satan doing wrong? Or is his WiFi lagging- Either way, when he finally gets his controls working right he’ll be too busy following his cat around the farm to get anything else done.

Asmo’s going back and forth between the colors and outfits making sure it’s perfect as if his character isn’t just a handful of pixels ksjskjs

Beel is so real for that- he’d totally make sure to give Gus his favorite gift everyday too, while Beel gets more food ofc!!

and Belphie is totally laying across MC’s lap- so not only is he asleep and not playing or being helpful, MC’s legs are going numb and they can’t move or get away!-

and MC is the only one actually paying attention to what day it is and which crops need to go in and stressing out over getting the right seeds.

[maskedinfinate]

OK FINE OBLIGATORY YAOI POST RRGRGRGGGRR

genuinely so embarrassed to post it but um im trying to be brave ok. idk what they have going on but they are gay as fuck and probably also both on the aroace spectrum. And trans. And autistic.

[phantom-hogs]

i don't usually do these ramble type of things, but I thought it would be fun especially since I just thought of something lol.

y'know how we have extensively explored Shadows and Sonic's trauma in multiple fan comics and what not? Going into the real nitty and gritty and what not. Y'know who- even the people that really like him -have never really talked about?

Silver.

Like, don't get me wrong, I love our little dork. But can you imagine how absolutely traumatizing living in the literal end of the world must be? And even more traumatizing to grow up in that world would be? Living in dead world, where you and your best friend and maybe one of two other people are alive. Having no hope for any kind of future. Fruitlessly searching for a way to fix, knowing that you'll probably either die alone or in some horrible way and there's really no point to try, but you still do because that hope is quite literally the only thing you got left.

And even adding on top of that, imagine once the future - I know in canon they all lose their memories and what not, but fanon and the IDW comics (and even canon at this point, let's be honest) always ignore that, so stay with me - everything is normal, a Peace future. I have high doubts Silver knows how to be a, essentially, normal person. He's been in survival mode his whole life. (Presumably at least) Silver doesn't know how to go out of survival. Hell, I don't think this man even knows what a 9 to 5 is. He thought saving his future would bring immediate happiness, every single one of his problems solved. But now? He probably would even more isolated because him and blaze are the only ones to remember.

And if we bring IDW into this, this man came back twice because his future was in danger two more times (as of the time writing this) can you imagine how anxiety inducing that must be?

Like idk, maybe it's just me. But I feel like this man has more baggage than shadow at this point.

[melodiesofmidnight]

Tagged by @mysoftboybensolo

Relationship Status: Married Favorite Color: Essex Green, Navy Blue, Maroon Song Stuck in My Head: "25 or 6 to 4" - Chicago Favorite Food: Does guacamole count? Last song I listened to: "Nights in White Satin" - Moody Blues Dream Trip: Switzerland. All of it. Both in summer and in winter. Last thing I googled: "How to make homemade raspberry jam."

I tag: @nerdywriter36 @shitteadrinkersays @weirdbird74 @wheel-of-fish @aftershocked @cdaae @tiniestmagneto @thespidersenmity @murroyilodel @dying-suffering-french-stalkers and anyone else who'd like to give it a go.

[horatio-fig]

Full disclosure I’m not on my meds so everything is going to incite a huge emotional reaction from me but THE ACOLYTE BEING CANCELLED MAKES ME SO SAD 😭😭😭 

I keep thinking about Leslye Headland and how adorable and excited she was. I keep thinking of this dorky teenage Star Wars fan obsessed with the High Republic books and now she gets to bring that to life on TV. I want the world for her, it makes me so sad that it’s cancelled. I’m talking sell my soul, become a tech billionaire so I can buy a film studio where she can make all the gay star wars fan-fiction she wants. 

I think the reason it upsets me so much is because the cancellation is a result of fan negativity and review bombing, and that sucks because she’s a super-fan, she’s one of us. I think of queer closeted Leslye Headland writing Star Wars fanfic in secret notebooks at school, I think of Amandla Stenberg turning up to The Acolyte panel in Padme cosplay because thats her fave character, Manny Jacinto yelling ‘We’re doing Star Wars baby’ on set to remind himself this isn’t all a dream, Dave Filloni almost putting the phone down on LucasFilm and losing the job of a lifetime because he thought someone was playing a cruel prank on him, Pedro Pascal being so excited to play some random one off character not realising he was about to become Mr Star Wars himself, Ashley Eckstein creating a fashion line for female Star Wars fans because she wanted more options as a fan herself, Gwendoline Christie being distraught when she found out her agent turned down the audition for Phasma and ordering her to call them back, Athena Portillo driving around with her personalised Star Wars license plate not realising it would get her a job working on the very franchise she loved, the cast of Skeleton Crew being the sweetest giddiest giggliest gang of kids, Jon Favreau running up to George Lucas to show him designs like a child eager to show off his latest drawing, Josh Brener writing to JJ Abrams to try and get a Neeku cameo in Rise of the Skywalker, Diageo Luna talking passionately about ‘Little Arthur’, Steve Blum tweeting about his favourite ship, Ray Park doing all he can to be Maul in any stunt scene, San Witwer doing all he can to be Maul, period. I think of these and I see myself in all of them. 

I love Star Wars, I love Star Wars fans, and I love it when Star Wars fans get to make the content they want to see. These super-fans have put the work in to finally be able to make their dreams come true and it breaks my heart to see other ‘fans’ tear them down 😢

[adamsrcnan]

okay i'll bite, here's my jeremy knox speculations !!!

it's nothing super outrageous in my opinion, as fun and interesting as that would be, but alas lets dig in.

with regards to the police, his step grandfather is a congressman which means his step father probably has political ties too. this could mean they have ties to the police force perhaps involved in funding or something?? hence why jeremy would be recognised by them bc he gets forced to go to these occasions to paint a perfect family picture and maybe they're full of cops?? and maybe that's just not something he wants to be associated with lmao. cannot blame him now can we?

rhemann tells jean he can ask jeremy to leave the vicinity if he wants to press charges and call the cops i don't think this is because jeremy could get in trouble or anything bc i don't think rhemann would risk that. i think it's just because him being there might have sway or might lead to more gossip among the force that jean would wanna avoid. and if rhemann knows about whatever this weird avoiding police thing is i'm not sure it would be something so horrible??

in terms of his past. personally i don't agree jeremy was aggressive as a teen. i read him talking about his high school team as more of a "they played that way. i didn't vibe with it. i wanted to make sure my college team wasn't the same" i mean it's basically what he says he doesn't imply anything else but again the guy is closed off as HECK so god knows. but i don't think jeremy has an aggressive tendency. i feel like, given how the foxes have their entire lives pried into, if jeremy had such a reputation in the past (being in a class 1 team and captain of it no less) it would be known. and jean would know bc of kevin's obsession. like that would be a huge scandal.

i don't think he's done anything crazy like murder or manslaughter or has any assault charge. although that screenshot i posted a couple days ago is very Very sus, i think it might stem from how his family makes him feel about himself. because again i don't think he'd be able to keep any of that hidden.

UNLESS it's been all swept under the rug thanks to the political ties from the step family, and maybe that's why they dislike him so much. but again i think it's all a bit far fetched bc i don't think jeremy would be able to be so well adjusted after something like that, even after attending therapy.

which brings me to my next point, which is where he mentioned his mother finding the therapist for him and his family as he says "us" when talking about it which means they all see this therapist and jean mentions jeremy does not seem bothered to be exposed for having to go to therapy. i think if he was in therapy bc he did something really terrible he wouldn't want it known. especially if it's meant to be swept under the rug. i think this is in relation to the mysterious brother and the possibility of losing them to suicide. as he becomes very serious when jean says he promised he wouldn't kill himself saying it's nothing to joke about. also his concern for jean's wellbeing after ravens start dropping like flies maybe bc he knows how the grief feels.

thought that could also be a far fetched speculation because jeremy says the fall banquet broke their family in half. it's obvious his step family and his older brother and younger sister are not on his side, his mother sounds questionable too. so maybe that just leaves his other brother and his father and again maybe it's just a case of them being supportive of jeremy's sexuality.

there's also a brief mention of jeremy's dad being stationed in europe - some kind of military man?? since his mother re-married there's definitely something there too. maybe jeremy still keeps in touch with his father and it's not appreciated by the rest of the family? idk this one's a bit of a stretch but i feel like it might crop up again. what with jeremy not wanting to be addressed as "knox" as well - is that his father's name or his step father's name??? why does he not like it??

moving on to the scandal at the fall banquet i think this has to do with jeremy getting outed for being gay. lucas before cutting himself off at the beach says "now that you're.." implying they didn't know before so maybe jeremy was keeping it under wraps but got involved with someone from another team (???) at the banquet and got caught. his step grandfather and step father, and brother are probably very conservative and of course did not agree with jeremy's "lifestyle" and i think this had consequences on the whole family as it probably got out and "tarnished" their image. jeremy was probably asked to give up exy so as not to get involved with all "that" and he obviously refused. punishment for that probably meant his sister not caring for his games anymore as he wouldn't compromise for her, him getting put on a strict allowance and his mother's bookkeeper having to keep up with his expenses bc he's only given a certain amount of money. maybe a way for them to take back control over his life?? it also could explain why he has to stay at home during the school year so they can keep an eye on him perhaps??? also him getting dismissed from the dinner table bc of his hair as well idk sounds like his family are probs homophobic. also kind of a stretch but mayyyybeee the reason jeremy feels so bad is because he got the person he was involved with into trouble so he feels like a terrible person. but again there's really no alluding to that or implication i'm basically just taking a wild guess. but i feel like it would make some sort of sense

TLDR; i think jeremy's big "scandal" was that he's gay and his step family are just not accepting so they make his life difficult on purpose and he struggles to stand up to them about it