#these are all jon experiences.

[ineffectualbookseller]

The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field

It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work

and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you

your work is trivialized

and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over

or when your complaints are dismissed

and you get more of the same from upper management

it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day

It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity

The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again

(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)

Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off

[fishwikipedia]

the bcc storyline wasn’t rushed and clumsy about adding pac and it all makes sense in retrospect and eddie was fucking right

[holeodemony]

Laughing crying choking on my tears why am I constantly haunted by the thoughts of all these tragic little gay men I just want then to be okay for once yet terrible things always happen why they just need to be in each others arms and in my arms I need to comfort them why because they're tragic little gay men and they're stuck in my head and consuming my every waking thought and I'm not okay because they're not okay.

[mysteriousdoll]

“You know, Pumpkin, you should be relieved that the doctors want me to join you on this venture! Not everypony is blessed enough to spend their days with me!”

“Stop. Talking. Conundrum.”

[batcavescolony]

I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.

[mxwhore]

I love!!! lanky jon!!!

[waterlogged-detective]

How dare you, he's never blushed in his life (lying)

[clown-eating-pig]

S1 Jon squinting all the time to disguise the fact that he has big beautiful brown cow eyes.

[cool-person-yey]

listening to tma s1 is so weird bc Sasha is actually Sasha???? Elias isn't completely evil??? TIM IS HAPPY?????

[catsartplace]

im jumping in on the fun of having them eat eachother teehee

[sparky-is-spiders]

Watching people be horny over other people's pics/selfies/whatever is so funny to me. Like. Glad you're all having fun. You have access to a level of perception which is entirely alien to me.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I'm reading the yt coments of some TMA episodes (I had never before cause I see podcasts on Spotify) and now I truly believe that the biggest plot twist in the whole show was Jon being the youngest of the archive crew (and 27 at the first half of S1). Like half the coments of "A Guest for Mr.Spider" are "wait Jon was a 90's kid but that means he is in his late 20s?? wTF?" and prior to that is just "wow i love the archivist he is scrunkly old man".

Jon just convinced everyone - including the audience - he was 20 years older than his actual age and would happily keep the lie forever if Sasha hadn't figured him out via hacking.

[dxppercxdxver]

y'know what fuck it

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Jonelias week!! Day 3 - Confrontation / Gaslamp Fantasy AU (which I sort of assumed was steampunk?) Don't forget to check out and reblog @kalgalen's fantastic art!!!

“Hello, Jon.”

The greeting reverbates all around Jon, who steps into the dark room all the same, jaw clenched and gun raised carefully in front of him. Jonah’s voice echoes in his ears, lower and rustier than Jon remembers, but still much too pleased:

“I thought you might find me; in truth, I was hoping it would be you. It’s fitting, isn’t it?”

Jon tries to swallow back a wave of anger. He’s not sure he gets it all when he snaps: “Show yourself. You can’t have changed so much that you like lurking in the dark now.”

Jonah laughs. It seems like it’s coming from everywhere. Despite himself, Jon shivers, heart going out of rhythm for a few seconds.

“I have changed,” his old mentor admits. On Jon’s left, a sudden, single point of light appears, cold and grey; Jon almost shoots, but then another one comes, and another, and another and —oh god, what— “One might even say I made myself entirely new.”

There is a mechanical whirr behind Jon, his sole warning before he feels something cold and hard try to seize him. He twists away, hits whatever was going to grab him with the cross of the gun, takes a step on the right and stumbles against something else. It is not a wall. It is not an object. He can feel a pulse, the slow tap-tap-tap of a heart, drumming against his back. 

“Show yourself,” he repeats, staring at the wave of grey lights. They’re all pointed towards him. They’re all staring at him, mild and amused, waiting for him to catch up like — like — 

“I am,” says Jonah’s voice. Behind him, next to him, in front of him.

“God,” Jon murmurs, horrified. “How many?” he asks. “How many did you—”

“You’re a researcher, Jon, like I am; you know how long it can take, to reach the answer you hoped for.”

The dark suddenly feels oppressive. Not because of what’s hidden, but because of what Jon knows. Because of what he can see. He is surrounded. He tries to count the lights, then realises the exact number doesn’t matter. He is swimming into a sea of automatons, all of them probably just awaiting a word from Jonah to get rid of him. Is the real Jonah even here? Jon came alone, like a fool, because he thought this was his fight to finish, no matter what the others had said; no matter what he’d promised Mart— this had begun with Jonah and him, in a way. This couldn’t end any other way. He’d thought… He’d thought Jonah might hesitate to kill him the way he wouldn’t the rest of them. 

Idiot. No matter what his heart whispered, Jonah had proven time and time again he didn’t mind hurting him. Had planned to hurt him, for years —

But, no. No. I was hoping it would be you. Jonah is evil, but he is a smug, sentimental prick. He is here, somewhere. He’s too arrogant not to be. He’s too attached. 

“So this is it,” Jon says, not trying to hide his disgust and awe. “That’s your immortality? Copper and cogs? However will you eat your favourite cakes?”

Jonah’s laugh ripples again amongst the machines. “It’s a start,” he tells him. “This is as far as science and esoterism will take me for now, and I accept it. Better copper than dust, Jon. I have faith humanity will keep on growing and discovering as we go, and there will be time to adapt again in the future.”

Jon knows Jonah’s voice better than he ever likes to admit. He used to study it, all the small inflections he could learn from it. A secret thrill. Once, Jon had thought he might be the one who would get to see all of Jonah. It’s ironic that he got his wish in the worst possible way. It is fortunate that it’s what allows him, as Jonah continues to speak, to move very quietly among the automatons, trying to figure out which of the voices misses that low, undercurrent rumbling. 

And there. A single place of darkness in the sea of eyes, and warmth —

His gun hits flesh. The new electric lamps in the room all light up at once, blinding Jon for a full minute. His eyes flutter in pain before he can meet Jonah’s gaze, cool and piercing and still entirely human, his eyebrows raised in genuine affection and appreciation. 

“Oh Jon,” he says with a smile, and Jon’s anger comes back all at once, threatening to suffocate him.

“It’s over,” he snarls. “It’s over. You’re not getting it. You’re dying, tonight, and all your creations with you.”

“All of them?” Jonah asks, raising a hand as if to touch Jon. Jon took the gun’s safety off. Jonah stills. “You won’t kill me, Jonathan. You don’t have it in you.”

“Don’t I?” Jon growls. “Did you not think that your actions would have consequences? You’re not the only one who’s changed, Jonah.”

“I didn’t think you were one for vengeance,” Jonah remarks. Just a little bit more careful. 

“Vengeance?” Jon repeats. “This is justice. For all your victims. For Bennett, and Smirke, and Von Closen and… And Gertrude, Tim, Sasha—”

“Not you?” 

Jon stares at him. His heart is beating too loud in his chest. He will not be played. Not again. Not ever again. It’s easiest if you don’t think, Gerry had told him, long ago.

So Jon doesn’t think. “Goodbye, Jonah.” he breathes, and pulls the trigger.

[thateclecticbitch]

autism levels off the fucking charts