#jon and martin. i just. be okay. please.

[holeodemony]

Laughing crying choking on my tears why am I constantly haunted by the thoughts of all these tragic little gay men I just want then to be okay for once yet terrible things always happen why they just need to be in each others arms and in my arms I need to comfort them why because they're tragic little gay men and they're stuck in my head and consuming my every waking thought and I'm not okay because they're not okay.

[tibialtybalt]

s1 jon: this statement Would have been absolute drivel wasting the time of myself and literally everyone at the institute that i nonetheless put 100000 hours of inspection into even though it's meaningless and is nothing to me........if not for this one detail. as it is, it gives me the heebie jeebies. dont tell anyone i said that.

s2 jon: listen this is how you make sure you dont get killed: run around in the dark by yourself. tell the worst lies anyone has EVER heard. also i got stabbed but its fine now. i need to figure out why everyone decided to work here its weird bc this place sucks. i can't just ask them so i will look in their desks instead

s3 jon: WHY do i keep getting kidnappedSTOP PICKING ME UP BY THE SCRUFF OF MY GODDAMN NEoh wait are you Murderous Mike?? from the statements! please describe how you got to be so murderous-- OWWW. okay but tell me i think im like.. you? so tell me,

s4 jon: ah, Murderous Mike yet again. that reminds me of this philosophical conundrum i have been spiraling over for the past two weeks. and also how much ive been missing martin. do you think the world would be better if i were killed. be honest

s5 jon: martin. martin do you understand the dreadful metaphor. good because i was Nott going to explain it. i should probably be shot dead but that isn't going to happen (im too special) so i am going to bother my extremely stressed out companions instead :)doyou want to hear a joke that you wont like :)

[ravenlilyrose]

I keep seeing posts about Jon asking the assistants to commit crimes. But honestly, it read a lot more like this to me:

Archivist: Please get me more information about x.

Tim: Okay!

Tim: *goes off to seduce more people*

Archivist: Please look into y for me.

Sasha: Sure thing!

Sasha: *starts hacking*

Archivist: I’d like to know more about z.

Martin: *breaks into a house so that Jon doesn’t think he’s incompetent*

Like, yeah, past a certain point he absolutely knows what they’re doing and is at least somewhat indicating approval by not telling them to stop, but it doesn’t seem like he’s standing there from day 1 going: “you seduce a cop, you hack into government servers, and you break into this list of buildings.”

Then again, I’m always in favor of anything that makes the assistants all as weird as possible, so maybe I’m just going for the interpretation that most supports their collective insanity.

[decimalozenge]

Op you just became my favorite person

You mentioned undeniable proof??

@helinedmightbehere

WELP, I SPENT 40 MINUTES WRITING AN ANALYSIS JUST FOR THE PAGE TO CRASH AND I AM NOT WRITING IT AGAIN. SO TAKE THESE CAUSE I’M PISSED OFF D:<

[annabelle--cane]

Please what is your fucked up somewhere else idea that you referred to?

half-formed concept in my mind where jonathan "coping mechanisms" sims starts trying to "desensitize" himself to some of his trauma by asking martin to do things to him that roughly approximate the feeling of certain events. restraining him and putting lotion on his chest and back, laying on top of him and covering his mouth so it's hard to breathe, holding dulled blades so they just press into the line of his throat scar, etc. the way jon explains it is that he wants to process these memories in a controlled environment with someone with whom he feels safe, and that's probably at least partially true, but martin is really skeeved out by the whole thing and is sure it's really not healthy. however, he doesn't say anything and just goes along with it, because he's also pretty sure that if it weren't for this setup then jon would almost certainly be doing something worse to himself. he has the lingering thought in the back of his head he feels safe with me? he feels like I won't hurt him? I forced a knife through his ribs.

the only semi-concrete scene idea I have for this is that further down the line jon works himself up to asking martin to slap him, which is comparatively much more tame and normal than most of the other stuff they've done, it's like, one of the most commonly known about kink activities, but martin sets himself up and just can't bring himself to do it. for the first time he actually says "okay, time out, this doesn't feel right to me, I can't just hit you in the face" and, without a beat missed, like he's been biting back saying this for ages, jon says, "so you could do it when I didn't want it, but now when I ask it's too much?", and the scene either ends with the (metaphorical) fog coming down and martin simply leaving the room/building in complete silence or with that remark stinging martin something awful and him then hitting jon right across the face before he thinks twice about it.

and the problem is. that is where my vision of the scene cuts out. I have no idea where the hell the relationship or even the conversation goes from there. oh muse, you chose The Wrong Vessel.

[forgetyoursingalongsandlullabies]

Jon hanging out with Georgie in S3: Do me a favor? Peel this apple for me, please.

Georgie: No, I’m not going to peel an apple for you.

Jon: But Martin always does it for me.

Georgie: Why does Martin peel your apples for you?

Jon: He doesn’t like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it. He says the skin’s loaded with toxins.

Georgie: Okay, well, good news. Martin’s not here.

Jon: I know he’s not here, and that’s why I need you to do it. Please. Please!

Georgie: Jesus, just eat it with the skin on.

Jon: I do not like it with the skin, Georgie! I’m not allowed to eat it with the skin! I’m not allowed!

Georgie: Oh my god alright! If you just shut up, I will peel the apple for you the way that Martin likes you to eat it. Give it to me! I’ll do it the way that Martin insists, okay?

[theeverchase]

📼🌫️ JMART!

“Martin- Martin, look into my eyes, and tell me what you see.”

“I see…I see you, Jon.”

(season 1-5 jmarts under the cut!)

So…scratches my neck….heyyy long time no see! I lowkey forgot I even had a cosplay tumblr blog and in an endeavour to post more on here, here’s a cosplay duo that’s probably one of THE MOST FAVOURITE DUO’S IVE EVER DONE

I was SO EXCITED FOR THIS IN PARTICULAR. Because I am such a fan of JMart and I just KNEW me and egg would knock it out the park and I was literally fanboying over doing it even though I was the one who was partaking in it??? Crazy but it’s a bucket list duo and I’m so so pleased we got it done! And we got through all these different JMart iterations AHHHH AHHH YAYYAYAYAY ouugghhh

We were SOLDIERING through it though because I was shaking off the day before doing dyhard and was SO tired and only operating off of breakfast and coffee for like 12 hours . Both of us . We were WORKING for the takeout we got it was just sitting there taunting us….but we made some STELLAR tiktok content….GAHHHHH ITS JMART GUYS ITS THEM ITS THE okay I need to be put down soz

🎭 Characters: Jonathan Sims ( @theeverchase ) and Martin Blackwood (@eggballi ) - from Rusty Quill‘s The Magnus Archives

👁️ Jon Contacts: Pinkyparadise Persona Green (not-sponsored)

👕 Clothes + Wig : Closet / Thrifted!

[theswarmsarchives]

alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home.

@jontimjune - recovery (day 13)

(tw for. i dunno. just jon being out of it in general. the short of it is hes high off meds and acts different as a result. gets a little angsty but dw!!!!! hurt/comfort to the rescue....)

Try as he might, Jon cannot move at the moment. Not far, at least.

Or, he can, he’d just rather not, knowing he’d collapse to the floor and all. The cot isn’t close enough to crawl to anymore.

But he needs to go somewhere.

Maybe.

He sort’ve forgot where exactly he needs to go, but he knows it’s somewhere.

He taps at the buttons on his little office phone, dialing a number he thinks is important, and bringing the receiver to his ear. At least he remembers how that works.

“Jon? Do you need something?” No. No, that wasn’t right he didn’t want that voice.

“Tim.” That one. He wanted that one. “Martin, can you— Tim. Please. Thank you, Martin.”

And he hung up, smiling. Tim was on his way! Tim, Tim, Tim. He liked that guy. He liked that guy a lot and Martin was getting him.

What an amazing day.

Then he zoned out for a bit and guess what? Tim was actually there. Real and in the flesh, right there in the doorway. He was staring.

“You rang, boss?” Yes. Yes, mhm, that’s what he wanted. More of that.

“Yes, Tim, it’s very urgent, as you can see, I need to, uh—” And he wasn’t moving, was he?

He hadn’t moved. He was too caught up in enjoying the sound of Tim’s name leaving his mouth, rolling the syllables on his tongue.

“How many painkillers did y’ take?” No. No, he didn’t want that. That didn’t matter.

“Enough. Can you— Talk. Can you talk more. I like your voice, Tim, it’s very nice.” And he’s smiling again, a wide, loose-lipped grin.

“Jesus christ, you’re high as a kite. Why are you even here?” He wasn’t in the sky, was he? He felt like he was on the ground. He was on the ground. Two feet on the floor for proof.

“I had things to get done. And— And I needed to talk to you. Needed you to talk to me. Wait, no—” Apologize. Yes, right, that’s what he needed to do. Good job, Jonathan.

“I’m sorry. Yes, that’s what I needed. I’m sorry, Tim, for stalking you and— And being an awful friend.” He sniffled.

“I don’t—”

“No, no, no, shut up, I’m— Listen. Please. I’m sorry for everything. It’s all my fault and, and I shouldn’t have tried to carry it all myself. I should’ve trusted you and, and—”

He choked around the words, sobs tearing through him and tears falling. This is what he had needed to do.

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done. Sasha would still be alive if it weren’t for me. And you’d still, you’d still like me if only I’d listened.”

Oh, yeah, he was standing now, stumbling his way over to Tim. His fingers found themselves clawed into the man’s bomber jacket and his face buried into his chest, tears and snot staining the fabric.

“I, I missed you, Tim, I’m so sorry.”

And, really, that was what he’d needed. He’d been longing to get that off his chest.

Two arms. He felt two arms around him, one on his waist and the other cradling his head. Tim wasn’t just here and listening, he was holding him. He was comforting him.

A violent sob is all he managed in terms of a reply, then another, then another.

“Let it out, boss, don’t have much reason to stop you. You’ve already blabbered on and you’re clinging to me like a koala.”

Oh.

Oh, Tim, listened to him.

Well, crying just a tad harder was certainly his only valid response. Or the one that he landed on at least.

Only worsened by Tim starting to rock and sway, shushing him all the while. Gentle and quiet. When had he last been so timid?

“It’s okay,” He mutters now, resting his chin on top of Jon’s head. “It’s okay.”

But he’s not accepting the apology.

But Tim isn’t forgiving him.

“Please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” And just for good measure, with his face stuffed into the crook of the other’s neck; “Forgive me.”

“Not now. I’m—” And Tim sighed.

“Not now, Jon. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” Is all he could get out, clawing and asking, damn near pleading. Why? Why, why, why? He just wants to know why.

“Doesn’t matter.” Tim still hadn’t pulled away. Good. That’s good. He missed this warmth.

“It does.” He chokes, somehow still sobbing. Was he lightheaded? He felt lightheaded.

“It does to me. I’m here. I’m listening now. Please, Tim, give me a chance.”

“You’re high, boss.”

“So?” He could hear the begging edge to his own voice and he let it remain there. He let it seep in and take over.

“So,” Tim continued, pulling himself away from Jon’s grip. “Let’s get you home. You haven’t been working anyhow.”

“Home?”

“Christ, yeah, home, Jon, Georgie’s flat?”

“I, ahm— I don’t, I don’t live with her anymore. I’ve been staying in the Archives. Or, or hotels.”

And Tim all but glared at him. But he could see it, tucked and buried and hidden, was the other’s concern for him.

“Right, of course. With me then.”

What?

“I, uh— Pardon?”

“Come back to my place. You can stay with me for a bit. Just until you’re off whatever the docs put you on.”

Well, who was he to say no?

“Alright. I’ll go with you, Tim.”

[first-time-tmagp]

episode 139

Uh... JON

ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?!?

Because this did NOT sound okay in the end!!!!

PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF WHILE TRYING TO CHECK IN WITH MARTIN

YOU COULD JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER

Also omg omg omg

"I need him to be okay"

DO YOU KNOW WHO SAID YHIS AS WELL?!?!?!

MARTIN!!! IN EPISODE 117 OR SOMETHING

OMG THEY ARE SO PERFECT I JUST NEED THEM TO HE TOGETHER PLEAAAAAASEEEE

Alsoo: the more I learn about hilltop roads and agnes the more interesting it gets!!! I looove how many different povs there are for every single story!!!!

[sunny-reacts-to-stuff]

tma 82 "the eyewitnesses"

Unreality, Child Harm, Physical Violence, Murder, Gaslighting, Blackmail, Police Brutality

statement never given?

also guys yesterday i googled devon and MAAAAAAAAAAN that's the cutest place ever i didn't know england had actually nice places but yes martin being from devon is so <3

THE ADS ARE IN SPANISH?

cutie :( LET HIM MAKE THE STATEMENT!!!

martin listen to your instinct

daisy you are talking a lot for someone who's coworker "went down a magic coffin"

i hate this woman

YES MARTIN STAND UP!!

NO IT CAN'T BE

mr. blackwood :3

"but you're the police" indeed

THEY WERE CLOSE :C

jon has no friends daisy

TF YOU MEAN GET LOST. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TALK TO PEOPLE MUCH LESS TO MARTIN.

"tim stoker, that your name?" "stoker? i hardly even know her."

the fuck you mean turn it off

THE FUCK YOU EMAN SOUNDS RIGHT

hey daisy idk much about this stuff but you seem like you are horrible at your job

elias i thought you were framing him

look at him being chill about it

what the fuck is funny about mag 34 anatomy class

look i have never liked nor trusted elias but the fact that he killed mr. avatar of the whore and then put the body in jon's desk just to show to the interview and be like "jon? a murderer? neveeeeeer." "do you know where he may be" "i do :3" "care to tell me?" ":3" is hilarious

lmao this is hilarious

"weird little freak" yes he is

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. SHE'S A HORRIBLE DETECTIVE

elias. elias. can you perform a second brutal pipe murder. please.

wait being the eye is actually great for blackmailing

ohh i see

as far as i care you could both kill each other and i would be delighted

wait if he can just make out statements from zero and be so good at it what tells me that the 49548 statements from before were real? like not saying they are not but if i was jon i would fall into psychosis

EXCITEMENT?

ew

ewww

ohh this is the violence one

i wonder if it was contagious or if she is just violent bc she sucks

THE FIRST? THE FIRST?

THE FIRST? ah right the vampires

oh so you killed other random humans okay

okay

elias: THERE'S THE DOOR, BITCH

elias can you be less weird

again you two can kill each other

good day detective :]

"or maybe she just hates it here. like a normal person."

martin i am suffering so much for you

yeah tim don't you think that the random entity that teleported you to a distorted reality and told you he was gonna kill you both seems more likely to be a murderer than the prissy coworker you just dont like

he is going to lie down :(

LET HIM LIE DOWN

[nayeliq1]

The fog comes back.

Nothing else has found its way into their safe little haven yet, but the fog does, creeping through the cracks of their cabin, blanketing them in thick, heavy billows.

Jon is there every time, he's there to pull Martin back when he gets lost, bleary eyes and hands so transparent Jon's fingers glide right through when he reaches for them.

"Martin", he says, forcing a shaky smile on his lips as he tries to hold onto the warmth Martin's name elicits in him. "Martin? Come on. Come back to me."

"Jon?" His name echoes, the mist thickening.

"Yes", Jon says emphatically. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere without you, okay? You're not alone anymore, Martin, remember?"

Martin blinks, something sparking up in his eyes, but the cold fog sets heavily around them, blurring Jon's vision.

"No!" Jon reaches out again despite knowing he can't touch him, but he won't let himself lose sight of Martin ever again, he won't let him slip away. "No, you can't have him!" he yells into the cold white all around. "He's not for you to claim!"

He turns to Martin again, scurrying closer.

"Martin", he says imploringly. "Martin, listen to me. You're not alone anymore. I'm here, Martin, and I want you with me. Please. It can't have you. The Lonely can't have you- you're mine, and I won't let it take you from me."

Martin flinches, his skin regaining some of its colour as he focuses on Jon's face.

"Jon", he says, voice full of- Jon's not sure, but it doesn't matter, he's just so relieved there's something in there to replace the horrible emptiness. 

"Yes", he breathes. "You with me?"

Martin nods.

"I think so."

The fog seems to lift just a little, and when Jon reaches for Martin's hand again, it's solid enough for him to touch.

"Just stay focused on me, okay?"

"Jon, I'm scared."

"Don't be scared." Jon holds onto Martin's hands, squeezing his fingers so tightly Martin must be able to feel it even through the numbness. "You're with me, and we're getting you out of here, okay? You're not going back to the Forsaken, you'll stay right here with me in the cottage, and we'll go see some cows if you like, they're on the field right down the street, remember?"

"Cows?" Martin asks, like he doesn't quite know what to make of that word, and Jon nods.

"Yes, good cows. The long-haired ones with the big horns they got here in Scotland. Highland cows. They always like you, they come to the fence and you can pet them." The fog dissipates slowly around them, the silhouettes of their cabin's furniture shimmering through the white. "You love those cows", Jon says, and Martin's lips slowly curl into a smile.

"Yeah", he says softly, looking at Jon. "You'll go see them with me?"

"Every day", Jon promises. "As often as you want."

And the last of the fog clears.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

A very very small birthday snippet for @emperiocism 😊

There was a quiet pleasure in opening his own office door slower than usual, watching Jon scramble at the noise from one of the paintings hung inside, no doubt incredibly annoyed and panicked at the fact Elias was coming back up earlier than expected. Elias had always thoroughly enjoyed Jon's drive and single-mindedness when it came to investigations beforehand, but this new flair of paranoia had the distinctive taste of their patron all over it, and it was all the more satisfying to witness.

When he and Jon made eye contact at last, Elias made a show of surprise before frowning at his Archivist, still standing over Elias's desk.

"I know I have an open door policy Jon, but I can't say I appreciate the thought of you being here when I'm not," he said. Then, only because it was all too tempting-- "It's hardly appropriate, and quite a breach of privacy."

"I, er." Jon cleared his throat, clearly battling his urge to get defensive. That technique already worked less and less with Tim and Martin, and he'd noticed. "I just wanted to talk to you."

Elias sighed. "We have a meeting planned tomorrow morning. if this is about what your employees have been telling me --"

Jon froze. "What did they tell you?"

Elias threw him his best disappointed look. "Jon, please. I'd like to believe we've build enough of a rapport these past few years to be honest with one another, haven't we? Let's not pretend as if Ms Prentiss' attack didn't take a clear toll on you. Now, I'm willing to be understanding, but you ought to work with me to--"

"This has nothing to do with that," Jon cut him off, cheeks flushed, taking a few steps towards Elias. He was, very badly, shoving some papers in his back pockets. Elias wondered if he would ever grew into a good liar. He doubted it. Still. It was the end of the day, and he hadn't had a chance in indulging Jon in too long.

"What is it, then?" he asked.

"I--" Jon had not thought this far, apparently. "It's -- personal. Yes. Right. It's why I needed to do this... in private."

Elias raised an eyebrow. "Well, if something is troubling you, I'm of course more than happy to help," he said. "Perhaps a week or two out of the Archives might--"

"Oh for god's sake," breathed Jon and then, before Elias could react, he was crossing the last of the distance between them, pressing his hands against Elias's collar, and kissing him.

This.

Was unexpected.

More so the brief moment of blindness that overtook Elias in answer; when he came back to his senses he was already kissing Jon back, hungrily, his own arms curling around Jon's waist. He blinked, took a step back, and stared at Jon's flushed face, his hazy, wide eyes, the wetness of his lips, and thought: well, I need to see where he will go with this.

"This...is a terrible idea," he told him. "Truly, Jon, you're clearly not in your right mind--"

"Haven't we wanted this for years?" Jon asked and then wavered on his feet like surprised at himself for having said it out loud. He's just known this, realized Elias, and immediately the desire to get his mouth back on Jon grew stronger. "I almost died," Jon continued. "Can't we just--? I... I want this."

And he did, still, underneath all the very bad reasons he was doing this. He wanted to distract Elias foremost but, ah, well -- Elias was happy to be distracted, right now. He made a show of hesitating, only to let Jon's impulsivity get the better of him again.

When Jon kissed him the second time, it was more hesitant, softer, and Elias felt his shoulders relax. Oh this was going to be terrible indeed, and such a good evening.

"Okay," he whispered, fondly. "Okay. How about we close the door?"

[hellostarposts]

Ep 17 The Bone Turner's Tale

Okay so, as it was pointed out to me Mary Keays was mentioned in this episode. I honestly don't remember that, so I'm going to go back to it before continuing. Also, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not good with names and their spellings.

Naturally a librarian would talk this erotically about books.

Micheal did way too much work to get a cursed book into that library. Trying to get rid of it? Maybe.

Ah could it be that there's only specific ways that someone can get rid of the lighter books?

OH YEAH this is when we find out that the Lukas family is connected to the institute. (and yes I know that family is important)

Bickering with your boss is not a good career move Jon!

Also, now knowing what Martin is dealing with makes me sad.

Jared is an asshole and low-key deserves what's coming to him.

Flattened rat time! (R knows that I sympathize with this rat too much)

How did I miss that Jared snatched the book?

Does not having extended skin contact with the lighter (lightener?) books really have an impact on not loosing it?

Bleeding books is a vibe.

imagine that this is is just someones diary about the murders they committed.

"Hi I'm Jared and I just learned how to read"

Tells a monster that the library is closed and then throwing a punch is iconic behaviour.

Jared is squishy, and knows that spitters are quitters.

Did Jared steal his mom's arm????

At least everyone believed the lie you told the police.

Final thoughts, good that I revisited this. BUT there was no mention of Mary Keays. I feel lied to, I even gaslit myself into thinking that it was the mother but the last names don't match.

I could've listened to ep 24 in this time but didn't.

Adding down here that R has started laughing at my uncanny ability to pick up important things. Why? Asking if people would be upset with me for the Jon comment. And like isn’t it obvious that Elias (please correct me) is like in kahoots with the Lukas family or at least scared of them? Like why else would he be giving Jon shit for taking Naomi’s statement.

[magicalbuttertarts]

Can I request #30 with Jimmy Uso x female reader?, and can you use his real name please!

Reader and Jon are in character and they share their first kiss on camera and it's very passionate too 🤭.

Our first kiss

Jimmy Uso x f/Reader

Fluff Prompt List

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Warnings: none. Use of his real name, Jon

WC: 464

Requested by @miss-kuki-nz

©️magicalbuttertarts 2025: do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

#30: smiling into the kiss

I was listening to Jon go on and on, losing count at how many times he said Uce.

Our two characters have a love-hate relationship, and we have been playing it up for a while now. Fans are wondering what will happen between the two of us.

Will they kiss?

Will she slap the shit out of him if he tries to kiss her?

But truthfully, I would love for Jon to kiss me. I have had a crush on him for as long as I can remember, and we have always been good friends, but I feel like something has changed between the two of us recently.

Jon caught me looking at him, and then he winked at me, making me scrowl, but on the inside, it truly felt like butterflies were in my stomach.

"I told you not to look at her." My tagteam partner, Gunther, said.

People were shocked that Gunther took on as his partner, but the thing is, we are actually old friends, and I know he will always have my back, like I have his.

"I think she likes it when I look at her. I see the way you look at me." Jon said as he took a step closer to me.

Shit, he is going off script.

As he got closer and closer, my mind seemed to turn to mush.

Jon and I were almost nose to nose now, and Gunther was about to take a step towards the two of us, to Jon back, when I held up my finger to Gunther to let him know I got this, but Jon toook that as a sign.

I gasped as I felt Jon wrap his arms around my waist and pull me flush against his body, before smashing his lips against mine.

The crowd gasped as I dropped the mic, as I was also in complete shock.

The arena was almost silent as they watched the two of us kiss.

The kiss getting more and more passionate.

I smiled into the kiss, not wanting this to end, when I heard someone couch in the crowd, which made Jon and I jump a part fom one another.

"You think you can just do what you please Jimmy? Well, no one touches someone who is like my family." Gunther said just as he attacked Jon.

I was in such a daze, that the two of us actually kissed, and it was in front of 100s of people in the arena and probably thousands at home.

Oh, the internet is going to go insane with this, but as I jumped out of the ring, I looked back at the two men fighting, and Jon just winked at me again.

I knew that everything was going to be okay.

Tag list: @lghockey @nicoleveno14 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @hooks-martin @madhatterbri @blackwingedmisanthrope @sunshinevirus

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

I feel like not enough people talk about Melanie's tragedy. Everyone talks about Jon and Tim and Martin and Sasha and Gerry and Michael and Elias and every avatar that gets five seconds of screentime and even Jonah, but I barely see anyone talking about how badly Melanie suffered too.

Do you ever think about it? Her friends, her community abandoned her. Her dad was already dead. She joins the Institute, working under a man she already dislikes, only to find out that the big boss is actually literally evil. The only reason the Slaughter bullet worked so well is because she was already so angry at everything, and who can blame her? She had as much right to be angry as Tim did, which is to say, she had every right in the world - even if that anger was a little misplaced.

And then, she is so desperate to get away, that she gouges her own eyes out. Do you understand that? She mutilated her own body, took away the main sense that we humans use to survive. Just to get out of that god forsaken place. Do you know how traumatizing that must be? Everyone is going insane, she's going insane, and then she gouges her own damn eyes out. She was not just okay after that.

And then, and then, just when she thinks everything is over and she can just be happy with her girlfriend, the fucking APOCALYPSE happens. The goddamn mother fucking end of the world. And she's one of the only people who can help others. She's suddenly a savior? All of this is thrust upon her, the world as she knows it is fucking ending, and she has the ability to save people. How stressful that must be, feeling guilty if you didn't help but being burdened with the title of savior if you did. How awful. How downright horrific. I'm amazed she didn't kill herself to get out of all of this.

I just. Melanie. Guys. Melanie. The level of desperation she must have felt to get out of the institute, that she was not only willing, but able to fully go through with gouging her eyes out? Guys I don't think we talk about that enough. She gouged her own eyes out with her own fucking hands and a book binder. We don't talk enough about how much that must've fucked her up. And then to turn into someone else's savior. A martyr. A prophet. I think by the end, she was just as, if not more traumatized than Tim - and yes, I'm going to keep comparing her to Tim, because they are so similar, and yet one is far more loved and spoken about than the other. Melanie deserved so much, and got so little, and she will never be the same. None of them will ever be the same, of course, but again - SHE MUTILATED HERSELF. SHE GOT RID OF HER PRECIOUS SIGHT, THE ONE SENSE THAT WE (generally) RELY ON THE MOST. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS, HOW DESPERATE YOU HAVE TO BE, FOR YOUR BRAIN TO EVEN ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT?

Just. Melanie. Guys please talk to me about Melanie I love her so much she deserves everything.

[chocolatey-umbreon]

my perspective on jon and martin has gone like this:

season 1-2: okay i see why people ship that. it does sound like something tumblr ppl would like.

season 3, when basira and melanie talk about martin liking jon: oh it’s going to actually be part of the show, it’s not just a fan thing. also aw martin is the one with the crush first, that’s v cute to think about actually.

rest of season 3: i mean it’s a cute ship but i’m much more interested on whatever elias has got going on.

season 4: oh um. fuck. fuck. okay. this um.. this Thing. going on. between them has skipped every rational part of me processing the show and gone straight to squeeze and punch and tear my heart apart without my consent? hello!! im sobbing and crying and screaming and i don’t even know when it started?? what is happening please help me