#jon and martin. i just. be okay. please.

[holeodemony]

Laughing crying choking on my tears why am I constantly haunted by the thoughts of all these tragic little gay men I just want then to be okay for once yet terrible things always happen why they just need to be in each others arms and in my arms I need to comfort them why because they're tragic little gay men and they're stuck in my head and consuming my every waking thought and I'm not okay because they're not okay.

[nightvale359]

Op you just became my favorite person

You mentioned undeniable proof??

@helinedmightbehere

WELP, I SPENT 40 MINUTES WRITING AN ANALYSIS JUST FOR THE PAGE TO CRASH AND I AM NOT WRITING IT AGAIN. SO TAKE THESE CAUSE I’M PISSED OFF D:<

[ravenlilyrose]

I keep seeing posts about Jon asking the assistants to commit crimes. But honestly, it read a lot more like this to me:

Archivist: Please get me more information about x.

Tim: Okay!

Tim: *goes off to seduce more people*

Archivist: Please look into y for me.

Sasha: Sure thing!

Sasha: *starts hacking*

Archivist: I’d like to know more about z.

Martin: *breaks into a house so that Jon doesn’t think he’s incompetent*

Like, yeah, past a certain point he absolutely knows what they’re doing and is at least somewhat indicating approval by not telling them to stop, but it doesn’t seem like he’s standing there from day 1 going: “you seduce a cop, you hack into government servers, and you break into this list of buildings.”

Then again, I’m always in favor of anything that makes the assistants all as weird as possible, so maybe I’m just going for the interpretation that most supports their collective insanity.

[chocolatey-umbreon]

my perspective on jon and martin has gone like this:

season 1-2: okay i see why people ship that. it does sound like something tumblr ppl would like.

season 3, when basira and melanie talk about martin liking jon: oh it’s going to actually be part of the show, it’s not just a fan thing. also aw martin is the one with the crush first, that’s v cute to think about actually.

rest of season 3: i mean it’s a cute ship but i’m much more interested on whatever elias has got going on.

season 4: oh um. fuck. fuck. okay. this um.. this Thing. going on. between them has skipped every rational part of me processing the show and gone straight to squeeze and punch and tear my heart apart without my consent? hello!! im sobbing and crying and screaming and i don’t even know when it started?? what is happening please help me

[zabala0z]

Welcome back to the first episode of “Listening to TMA S5, blind” I’m your beloved host and guys. Guys guys. I actually am freaking out.

MAG 161: Dwelling

I’m actually screaming. Hearing the old gang actually made me want to cry. SASHA. SASHA I MISSED YOU :(( also Elias: “I’d like to keep an eye out” you think you’re so fucking funny. I loved the very off key singing of Happy Birthday. Accurate. I wonder if Elias/Jonah sent the tapes for a reason. It’s definitely not to gloat. Is this apart of a wider web of manipulation? The Web style? Also, the fact Sasha could’ve been head archivist. Jesus

Hearing the description of the entities, that they don’t care enough to keep humanity fed and watered unnerved me a lot actually. I don’t know.

MAG 162: A Cozy Cabin

GERRY!!! Nice to hear him as a human, without all the ghost-like qualities. Although hearing Jon rewind the tape over and over and over and over again just made me feel bad.

And then Sasha and Tim.

“we had the ill-advised hookup, the awkward aftermath, and the gradually rebuilt friendship, but – that’s all season two stuff. We’ve got like five more seasons before we get the heartwarming epilogue that makes it canon.”

“No. You took it too far! I’m unforgettable!”

So what if I just ended it all?

Also Jon’s monologue. For a bit, I thought he was “knowing” one of Martins poems that he made during this since Martin was the one who did not like staying at the cabin but no, I was wrong. But time to see the outside world

MAG 163: In The Trenches

I wanna go back to the cabin.

I love TMA so much because of how the format switches up every season. Like season 1 was pretty simple enough with season 2 having Jon add in those supplementals and having a new setting (the tunnels). Season 3 cranks it up with having live statements from recurring characters, statements read by others, and dropping some lore. season 4, while similar to season 1 in terms of format, has Martin reading statements, more god damn lore and some new settings. And now season 5 has uh all this. It’s so amazing and I love it and I’m terrified.

Hearing Jon describe everything going on actuslly made me horrified. Like I got spooked out by the statements but this made me feel so much dread like I’m not even kidding. I also wanna know more about that weird ass doctor and the man with the red flower. Avatars of The Slaughter I presume.

Also that phone. ???? What???

MAG 164: The Sick Village

Gross. While the previous episode made me experience horror, this made me feel disgust. Disgust that just burrowed into my bones (get it. Cause..the episode-). I had such a deep instinct of repulsion. Like actually. I also read the triggers just cause you can never be too careful and I remember thinking, “how can xenophobia be involved with The Corruption?”…apparently xenophobia was very prevalent

Now I know where the whole “Martin’s middle name” thing comes from. I’m glad Basira is alive. And heart broken at the tragedy there is. She’s always chasing Daisy and Daisy is always chasing another thing SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

I think Georgie and Melanie are in the tunnels. It’s been established before that Elias can’t see in the tunnels which probably means Jon can’t see them. I’m glad they are safe. They need it.

Helen! Nice to see her again, I actually cackled when she said “check up on the happy couple”. Nice to see a confirmation about the relationship. This is like the worst time to be dating someone though 💀 Helen’s so happy. I’m sure she has a ton of people in her hallways. I don’t know if she’s lying about the “friend thing, but it’d be funny if she wasn’t

Okay. That’s everything. Sorry for the long wait, I had to take a break after season 4’s finale and then ANOTHER one after listening to the first 3 eps. This is like, actually heavy. Kinda draining. But god, I’m actually going insane.

I want to know how this is going to be fixed. Like. There’s gotta be some happy ending. ??? Right??? Please tell me there is one.

[witchinatree]

making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it

(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)

episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice

i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)

episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement

this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶

episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement

the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them

episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement

augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin

episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement

i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!

episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles

i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy

episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia

STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you

episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"

RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry

episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam

they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material

episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice

does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.

episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen

dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard

episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice

she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her

episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen

each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(

episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement

theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh

episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway

episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers

episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen

episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1

episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive

episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(

episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.

episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.

episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full

episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3

episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over

episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY

episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO

episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude

episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭

episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.

[fridayyy-13th]

💛 jmart? 👀

💛 reunion kiss / relief

coming right up!! it uh, got a bit long, i don't think nearly 900 words counts as a "snippet"...but i had a little idea and ran with it lol.

[ask game]

Martin woke up.

He was…not expecting to do that. Not when just moments ago the Panopticon had been crumbling around them, debris raining down as he’d clutched Jon’s dying body close, trying to shield him from further harm as he awaited his own end. “Somewhere else” had been Jon’s final, clumsy attempt at comfort, yeah; it hadn’t been anything serious. A nonsensical, end-of-the-rainbow wish in a universe that didn’t get those sorts of happy endings.

And yet.

He lay sprawled across the ground, now, in a place he did not know and did not care to understand. Jon was gone from his arms, and that was all that mattered.

The love of his life was dead by his hand. That mattered, too.

Maybe his body was nearby, so Martin would at least have something to bury.

Every part of his body protested as he rolled himself over, pushing up to hands and knees. There. Blurry through his fractured lenses, a Jon-shaped heap lay just a meter away.

No, wait. Not just lay. It—Jon’s body—Jon was shaking. Curled up in a fetal position, back to Martin, sobbing quietly.

Alive.

Crossing the distance between them, Martin hardly noticed the several dozen tapes scattered across the rough carpet, the would-be-familiar stacks full of unsorted files on either side. He was far too focused on the man before him.

“Jon,” he managed, afraid of what he would see if Jon turned to him. The knife, still buried to the hilt in his love’s chest? His face twisted in rage at the sight of the man who put it there? The final sliver of light fading from his eyes?

Jon froze. Martin heard his breath catch. He turned slowly, so slowly, like he was working through the same fears as Martin, until he faced him fully and their eyes met. His clothes were soaked with blood, but his eyes were bright and alert—wide as saucers in shock, before his expression crumpled once more. “Martin,” he sobbed, reaching for him.

Something in Martin’s own chest dislodged as he reached back, and soon they were both crying in earnest. He pulled Jon up to him, marveling at each shuddering breath, pushing aside the ragged tear in his shirt to inspect the bloody skin underneath.

A single, thin scar lay over Jon’s heart, looking as though he’d had it for years. Martin’s stomach churned—I did that. Oh God, I gave him that.

Jon’s hands cupped his jaw, tilting his head up and away from the mark. “Don’t,” he whispered, “I asked you to. ‘S okay.”

It’s not, Martin wanted to scream, I killed you. You should hate me. I want you to hate me. His throat was too choked to let the words out, though, and he instead sobbed harder. Damn you. I love you. Why did you go against the plan? Don’t ever do that again. Leave before I hurt you even more. Stay with me, please, please.

Jon, wonderful Jon, simply cried with him, a solid weight in his lap that gently thumbed away his tears until finally, they began to subside. His thoughts were still roiling through his chest, but—Jon was here. He was alive. The rest could all come later.

Jon tipped their foreheads together. Martin leaned into the touch with a sniff.

“I love you,” Jon croaked.

Martin let out one last sob, nodding fervently. Me too. I love you too.

Jon seemed to understand.

He still asked, before kissing him. A hesitant “May I?” that reminded Martin of their first days in the safehouse, of that same shy question before Jon kissed him for the first time.

“Please,” Martin said, and Jon’s dry, gentle lips met his own. He tasted of salt, ash, and blood, and all the things Martin was certain he’d never get again. Martin kissed back like Jon might shatter, gripping his jacket like he might disappear, and time slipped away as he embraced the man he thought he’d lost for good.

His world was nothing more than this kiss.

(Neither noticed the twin footfalls passing. An amicable conversation stuttered with a “Hold on, Martin, did you see—?" A sheaf of papers fluttering loose-leaf to the ground.)

Parting for need of air, Martin took in the gorgeous sight of Jon’s private little smile, like they’d just shared a secret, tempered though it was with the burden of how they’d hurt each other, of what they’d done.

Martin didn’t care about that right now. Now, he simply wound his arms around Jon’s shoulders and smiled in turn. “I love you, Jon,” he said softly.

Jon’s smile caught, and his expression shifted—Martin thought for a moment he’d said something wrong, but Jon simply turned his head, looking at something down the way. What had caught his eye, Martin wondered, turning as well to look at…oh.

Two figures stood at the end of the shelves, staring back at them in shock. One was a tall, bespectacled woman with curly hair tied back into a high bun.

The other, blushing a furious shade of red, was a three-years-younger copy of himself. Whatever papers he’d been holding in his slack hands now lay scattered across the floor.

Oh, Martin thought distantly, finally taking in his surroundings. I know where we are.

[milkteamoon]

2023 fanfic review ✨

Meant to do a wrap up a few days ago but I got busy — so I'm doing it today! Here's a big long list of fics I read and enjoyed in 2023 (not all were published in 2023, but several were!). Ratings may vary, so please read the tags!

▷ Ask an Exec by shinyopals — (rated T, complete, 6/6) A series of posts to a workplace management advice form made by a particularly strange poster. This one was so fun to read along with, and Opal always nails it with the unique storytelling methods.

▷ And We Are Full of Stories to be Told by saintbleeding — (rated T, oneshot) a meeting somewhere else. Just...just read it. You'll like it, I promise.

▷ Particular by aza — (rated G, oneshot) Jon doesn't like anyone, but sometimes he likes this one. I love a good ace Jon fic.

▷ Stay Here Under My Tail by ravenxavier — (rated M, oneshot) after Jon's statement habits are discovered, him and Daisy take a ride. I love this fic's depiction of Jon and Daisy's relationship, with just the right amount of s4 anxiety.

▷ The Wounded and the Blessed by hihereami — (rated T, oneshot) an au set in the 1950s where a priest makes friends with a very lonely doctor. Y'all, the yearning in this fic...... literally left me staring at a wall for hours after finishing. A must read.

▷ Strange Manner by inkfingers_mcgee — (rated T, complete, 17/17) needing money, Martin signs up for a dubious app for blood donors and meets a very particular vampire in the process. Also kept up with this fic as it was coming out and had so much fun being tugged along for the ride. A great universe and a great lot of fun!

▷ A Measure Outside the Lines by rend_herring — (rated E, oneshot) after fleeing to Scotland, Jon and Martin navigate their post-Lonely relationship. I know there's a million safehouse fics out there, but this one is just...so sweet... There are so many lines I want to quote but I'd just end up quoting the whole fic haha.

▷ It Blooms by godshaper — (rated M, oneshot) Martin meets a mysterious stranger the day before his wedding. Fae au!! This one has a really fun universe and a deliciously excellent fast burn.

▷ On the Factual Particulars of the Death of Mrs. Blackwood by saintbleeding — (rated T, ongoing, 5/?) primarily sourced accounts from one Mr. Martin Blackwood regarding his new job at The Magnus Archives. This is a really fun victorian au that really nails the style and character voices.

▷ Sun in an Empty Room by transjon — (rated T, oneshot) the in between after the apocalypse. I love a romantic bad-ish end fic, and this one is very fun.

▷ Communion Past the Need of Speech by pieandsouffle — (rated G, oneshot) a hologram and a former borg drone have a lunch date. Star Trek au anyone?? Star Trek au.

▷ Gertrude is Still Around by occudo — (rated T, series) an au where Gertrude is still archivist and the archival crew members are her assistants. This one is technically a comic series but I'm putting it on this because it's my rec list and I can do what I want okay!!!!!!

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

I feel like not enough people talk about Melanie's tragedy. Everyone talks about Jon and Tim and Martin and Sasha and Gerry and Michael and Elias and every avatar that gets five seconds of screentime and even Jonah, but I barely see anyone talking about how badly Melanie suffered too.

Do you ever think about it? Her friends, her community abandoned her. Her dad was already dead. She joins the Institute, working under a man she already dislikes, only to find out that the big boss is actually literally evil. The only reason the Slaughter bullet worked so well is because she was already so angry at everything, and who can blame her? She had as much right to be angry as Tim did, which is to say, she had every right in the world - even if that anger was a little misplaced.

And then, she is so desperate to get away, that she gouges her own eyes out. Do you understand that? She mutilated her own body, took away the main sense that we humans use to survive. Just to get out of that god forsaken place. Do you know how traumatizing that must be? Everyone is going insane, she's going insane, and then she gouges her own damn eyes out. She was not just okay after that.

And then, and then, just when she thinks everything is over and she can just be happy with her girlfriend, the fucking APOCALYPSE happens. The goddamn mother fucking end of the world. And she's one of the only people who can help others. She's suddenly a savior? All of this is thrust upon her, the world as she knows it is fucking ending, and she has the ability to save people. How stressful that must be, feeling guilty if you didn't help but being burdened with the title of savior if you did. How awful. How downright horrific. I'm amazed she didn't kill herself to get out of all of this.

I just. Melanie. Guys. Melanie. The level of desperation she must have felt to get out of the institute, that she was not only willing, but able to fully go through with gouging her eyes out? Guys I don't think we talk about that enough. She gouged her own eyes out with her own fucking hands and a book binder. We don't talk enough about how much that must've fucked her up. And then to turn into someone else's savior. A martyr. A prophet. I think by the end, she was just as, if not more traumatized than Tim - and yes, I'm going to keep comparing her to Tim, because they are so similar, and yet one is far more loved and spoken about than the other. Melanie deserved so much, and got so little, and she will never be the same. None of them will ever be the same, of course, but again - SHE MUTILATED HERSELF. SHE GOT RID OF HER PRECIOUS SIGHT, THE ONE SENSE THAT WE (generally) RELY ON THE MOST. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS, HOW DESPERATE YOU HAVE TO BE, FOR YOUR BRAIN TO EVEN ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT?

Just. Melanie. Guys please talk to me about Melanie I love her so much she deserves everything.

[head-archivist-mag-institute]

Hello. Tim, my archival assistant, has insisted I made one of these. My name is Jonathan Sims, I work as the Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. I implore you to ask questions or tell me anything relevant to my work via the 'askbox'

Ask away.

Hey! New askblog, woaahhh..

(asks are open, please send in asks! i will be drastically less active from hours 8-3 on accounts of school and all)

RULES

No nsfw directed towards Jon or me, the mod, as Jon is asexual and I am a minor.

Romantic asks are okay, he just wont respond positively. Yes, including you, Martin. (subject to change)

OCs and other rp blogs are allowed! This includes crossovers!

OTHER

The four archival crews accounts are split between me and my friend. @mart1n-k-blackwood @s4sha-james @bigmanst0ker

This one takes place sometime season 1, nothing bad has happened yet. Maybe nothing bad will happen.

pfp is by @/circus0shifter

Jon uses he/him and talks like

this

P.S. mod talks in tags a lot, if theres generally ooc talk in the tags and theres no /ooc it is 100 percent me.

mod uses he/xe and talks normally.

im in PST (timezone), and will go off my time accordingly!

[im-secretly-a-frog]

hihi you like the magnus archives. I know this I see you rebloging magnus archives stuff. I cannot look at the stuff because I am only up to season three. I have blocked tags about it so I don't get spoliers but tumblrs filtering system is not great. ALSO WHY DID YOU REBLOG SOMETHING ABOUT JON AND MARTIN BEING DEAD WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM PLEASE DONT TELL ME I DONT WANT SPOILERS BUT AHHHH

anyways all i can think about is the Magnus archives and every time I see stuff about it on my tumblr feed, even when its filtered I want to look at it so badly but I cant :( I JUST WANT TO ENGAGE IN THE FANDOM BUT I HAVE TO FINISH LISTENING FIRST!!!

I need to talk about it with people and since the sickness has prevented me from infodumping to my friend on our walk to school I am attacking you with this ask. I hope this is okay :)

Oh my god I actually love TMA!!! I can't talk about it much with my friends because they're not really into podcasts. I won't spoil anything for you, all I'll say is that you're probably going to love the next two seasons.

Also, anyone who wants to feel free to send me asks about whatever, I love receiving these!!

[candyskiez]

for the thingy, do tma based on what youve listened to so far?

Okay full disclosure to anyone reading this I am not done this podcast!!! I am on season three episode 87, and haven't finished that episode, please do not give me any spoilers or hint at any. Thank you!

Favorite female character: Melanie King. She's just so ridiculously likable. A thing I've noticed is she's very clearly Used to a certain amount of misogyny with her being in the industry that yk, gets you called insane. She's so immediately defensive whenever she thinks she's getting perceived as crazy or lying and you can tell that's something that's happened a million times, especially recently with the whole. Yk. Arrested thing. It's just a detail that's very well implied that idk. It's something I've been thinking about with her even though its not the main reason I like her. Idk how to explain why I like her she's just very very likable. She feels like a person I'd actually run into and she's just some random person going through the Horrors, just another ghost hunter that got really really unlucky. It's one of the big appeals of TMA to me, they all feel so much like just...people. Not like the authors forcing them or like they're Special because Author Says So. They're just random people and how they got into this situation is pretty believable. I love her dynamics with everyone, if an episode has her in it you know it's gonna be really good, she's just a damn good character and I'm really excited and terrified to see where she goes. Please don't kill her rusty quill.

Favorite male character: Jon Sims. He's just so GOOD man. I like when characters become mean not because of not caring but because they care so much and everything is so awful and everything keeps going to shit and it isn't fair! I love characters who are angry because of a deep love for the people around them! He cares so much about everyone and he hates it so much and man. I don't care how many times it gets done I love it so much. I love his development so far. While with Melanie I'm going "don't hurt her give her hot chocolate and take her far away from this mess just let her be happy PLEASE" with Jon I'm like "I need to see him shatter into a million pieces and try to put himself back together with bleeding hands." And from what I understand I'm in for a treat with one of those wishes and fucked with the other. Whoops. He's just a really good protagonist and just...God. This will not be the last time you hear me talk about how much I love Jon. Also an honorable mention for this spot is Tim. If I don't say how much I love Tim soon I'll die. He's just a guy! He doesn't know what the hell is happening and suddenly everything's fucked and he responds so realistically to it and he's just so interesting to me man. Every horror story has a character who knows absolutely nothing about what's happening and Tim does that so well because like. It feels like. Yeah, obviously. If I knew what he did, I would've done that too.

Favorite season: Man idk I'm only three seasons in. I guess season two? It was a really good season. Jon's spiraling was done so well and him becoming more compassionate just when it was a little too late for that KILLED me. Also TIM!!! Tim was a huge highlight of that season for me, he and Jon's relationship made me want to tear out my own organs. Their fight was just so. I understand exactly why they were so furious at each other. I understand exactly why Tim was so mad at Jon. "He's not wrong you know!" "I know." And Jon having to restart the statement because he's too emotional??? Kill me man just kill me. It just was a really excellent season. Jon and Tim were the biggest highlights for me but Martin was also incredible that season and I loved that scene in shit what was the episode. Hide and seek. With the Tim and Martin conversation. Everyone thinks Martin doesn't care just because he's trying to make things better and because he wants things to be okay it's assumed that he's taking sides or doesn't care that these awful things are happening or that he isn't hurt by it too, and like. It's an understandable assumption. I've made that assumption about people in the past, though I'm not proud of it. And it hurts Martin so much because Martin just wants things to be okay, he just wants to be safe and for his life to stop falling apart and for from what I'm understanding the only real connections he seems to have right now to stop tearing each other apart, and people just assume he's Okay with how Jon's acting, or that Jon wasn't also unfair to him because Martin was worried about him. And it's just. Ough. Martins whole Thing in that season had me Thinking about some shit he made me feel some emotions that's for sure. Can't wait to see what happens with him. Oops this was long.

Favorite episode: Okay I'm gonna be honest with you. This is the worst question you can ask me about this show because I for the life of me cannot fucking choose. There are so many good episodes. So I'm just gonna uh. Talk about a bunch? I've narrowed it down to four but it was so hard guys you don't even know.

Hive: This is just a really really good episode and it makes me batshit insane. I think a really good choice was making her actually not a very easy person to get along with. It would've been so easy to just say that she was nice and she tried so hard but she was alone because people were Mean :(. And I think that this makes the statement hit a lot harder especially as someone who's struggled with mental illness for a long time it's just. She hurt people and she can't wrap her head around it. All she takes away from it is I was left alone. All she sees is that nobody gets her, nobody cares about her, everyone hates her now, or did they always hate her? And I can see the exact thought process that led to her being so taken in by the worms. Like okay here is this thing that needs her, that can't leave her because they need her to survive, so they love her. They love her and they don't care that she's apparently toxic, she doesn't know what that means, she doesn't know what she did, but whatever she did doesn't matter because why would it matter to them. They think she's beautiful, that she's perfect the way she is, they make sense to her and she doesn't have to change. It doesn't matter that she's not a good person, because it doesn't need her to be. It loves her. Like. I'm not saying 2023 me would've absolutely been down to get possessed by worms but at that point in my life I would've absolutely stuck my hand in the nest too. Like. I get it, man. Especially off the hinges of July or November I was a fucking wreck man. I get her. I really like how this show portrays distress. It's not cute. It's not pretty. People do horrible things because they don't know what else to do. Sometimes you blow up every relationship you have, sometimes you stick your hand in a wasp nest to be loved by the only thing you can imagine still loving you. It happens.

The smell of blood: MELANIEEEEE. She stole my heart in this episode. I was so determined not to like her and I was sold by the end of the episode. Her dynamic with Jon was so fun and also just. The insight into how she thinks! I love the statements that are more like a conversation the most anything character interaction heavy is bound to make me eat my own limbs. The...OK I don't wanna say chemistry bc that implies romance but I also don't know what else to call it? They just bounce off each other really well they're SO similar and because of that their defenses against a Lifetime Of Bullshit will clash so hard but then when they can actually talk to each other earnestly they click so well. And just. God I don't even know how to explain why I love Melanie. She's just so??? She puts her show first until she suddenly can't anymore, she immediately expects hostility or doubt and it closes her off from any help or connections and she can't quite get that actually sometimes people just genuinely are worried about you. It's avain it's really clear she's been in the industry for a long time because she's so used to mistreatment she immediately lashes out at anyone who gets too close to acting like that. Shes clearly been through a fuck ton and I'm really excited to learn more about her. That's another thing tma does well the characters are so shaped by their experiences and they make so much sense.

Hide and seek: Godddd. I love this episode. I love this episode!!! Where do I even start!! I mean okay Jon and Tim are a major focus in it so obviously I'm gonna be having a great time. Like. God. Where do I even start. First off Tim's view of Jon is so AUGHHHH this episode because. It hurts and also I cannot blame him at all even a little bit for a second. There are so many good lines in this episode. Also Martin and Tim's interactions in this episode? Insane, so good, told me so much about both of them and anyone who knows me knows I love character analysis so you KNOW I was eating my phone the whole time. I don't even know how to explain what's so good about this episode because it's just. All of it. All of it is so good. It's just a really good episode what else can I even say here. Jon apologizing to Martin and Tim when he thought he was about to die killed me. Every Tim moment this episode killed me. If I was held at gun point I'd probably say this episode is my overall favorite but like. Don't make me choose okay.

A guest for Mr Spider: When I say this statement completely changed how I see Jon I mean it completely changed how I see Jon. It changed how I saw literally everything he's done throughout the podcast. Everything he does makes so much sense with this context but especially his actions regarding the not Sasha. Of course he sent everyone away. Of course he felt like he had to solve it all by himself. After all nobody else could get hurt, because it's His responsibility and He didn't notice and He should be the one dealing with the consequences anyway. He has this view of himself where he's like I'm the only one that should deal with this and yet. It's not arrogance or not entirely. It's this mess of I have to do it by myself and i cannot trust anyone else with this they WILL mess it up but it's not even that he thinks highly of his own capabilities he just judges (fears) everyone else so much. And his trust issues make so much damn sense in retrospect like. His sense of safety was completely shattered when he was so young, and he grew up feeling undesired and like a burden and. Of course he assumes any act of kindness is an act, of course he's so suspicious of anyone who tries to get close, he never had those connections. This episode is just. So good. It explains so much about him and is just a really good start to the season and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Favorite ship: So far, Jonmartin. Yes I know I've been very basic with all these but like. It's common for a reason they're so interesting?? Like yes very sweet but also they're so fascinating. There's something going on there I can't wait to see what happens. But also I'm eyeing a bunch of other ships too. I am a multishipper by trade. I will whack any character together. I'm kinda eyeing jontim very closely. I will probably whack any interesting protagonist/antagonist dynamic together before you can do anything because they intrigue me.

A character I'd die defending: Honestly all of them. I get all of them. They're just people. Most of the decisions they make are ones I would've made in their situations, I can't get seriously mad at any of them.

A character I can't sympathize with: So far, none.

A character I grew to love: Melanie. She dragged me in kicking and screaming.

My anti otp: So far, none!

I once again ask you don't say any spoilers or hints, thank you!

[1141520851813892291920]

As a child, I was terrified of things I didn’t understand. Surrealist paintings, nightmares, even cartoon logic on TV shows filled me with this… inescapable dread.

I liked my own reality just fine because it was predictable. Safe. Unlike the recurring dreams I had. They were predictable but they were, in no way, safe.

There was always a door. I’d always walk through, and it was like reality collapsed in on me. It was like I was being unraveled, unmade and restructured until I couldn’t even understand myself.

The dreams have been occurring for as long as I can remember. I’m starting to see the door in the waking world; it always looks different but I know it’s the same.

My head is spinning now. Nothing feels right. I’m looking in the mirror and I don’t recognize the face staring back at me.

Please. For the love of god. Help me.

Uh, right, so... should I, uh— Okay. Statement of... random internet stranger submitted through Tumblr dot com. Read aloud under duress by @timothy-stoker-experience. Here goes nothing then. I hope this works for your sake, boss.

There are quite a few things that stand out to me about this statement, t̪h͇̍in̼̉gs̰̅ I͍̝̕ r͍e̱m̀e͉̓̃m̛ber̙ f͕ͮr̦om̳ͭ B̹ͫ́eͦf̿o̴̟͢r̤͓eͅ, actually. The pattern of things being not as they seem, the creeping terror that seems to spin and twist around the statement giver is familiar. T̶̜̿h͓̱̒ȇ̱ m̱̈́e̺͉͟n̗̫̯t͖ͮ̏i̠̰͆ö͖́ṅ͆ of͍ͪ̍ a door is all to̡̯̭o̪̹ f_̛͙́a̵̧̳m͇̓͗iliar, though my perspective of doors has shifted as much as my perspective on reflections.

I remember the terror inflicted upon me from Before as w̯̞͒e̵ͨ w̹eré̟ f̢̱̽o͔̪͜rč̓ȅ͋͂d th̛͙̽r̜ͧ̽ough the ḏoͤor tö́ wanḑ̣̗er͈ ēn͈̍d̦̽̉lesͨͅsͯly͝ t͊̒͜w̒istin͈͙̬g̟ͧ̉ ẖ͐ͬallways, all in search of a way to help you, Jon. I remember how awful it felt after M̠̑a̜͓͉rṱi͇n̮͝͞ a͎͕̲n͇̑dͦ̒̅ Į h͆ͧad manag̖͌́ed t͈̻ͥȯͮ̃ e̺̎̎s̈́͝ca̦pe the curvature of the passageways, managing to find a door to leap through. The fear we all felt when you’d gone MIA after… s̬̬̯ȏ̧̉me̘̍̎thi̛̪͠n̦͌g h̝ͧad͓͐̉ g̜one̳ͦ a̰ͪ͝ẁr̒̈́y̩̪͜ iͧ́͝n̋ your offi͔c̢̳e̝͈.̥̝̊ How I’d longed for you to come back so I wouldn’t have to worry about that door opening again, or c͈͆o͍͙̟n̻ţ̬̩i̯̯͊n̟͚̗u̝̱ͅë́ feedi͎n̤͊ͅğ̓ into th̝ăť̶̫ e̦̹͛vil m͆̐ä͗n’s͖ m̆a̩ć̥̻ẖ̄ͨi̓n̾aťions. I had a right to be angry, all things considered, but I’m glad that I— We, have moved past it, together.

Still, the fact that M̦͊iͤch̵̔̈aeḷ̂̐ ṙͫ͡è̗́s̡̡ͥcư͖ͩeͫͤ͝dͧ m͍̬ͩe͛ v͙̜̌ia a̦ͨ do͆̆or makes me wonder if it could be so bad in every case. There’s something inherently less threatening about a door (perhaps due to my own biases) when compared to the doorway itself, if that makes sense. Ä́̅ cl̀oͤ̀s̵̈ed d̎͡oͨȯ͟r̾̀̅ iͧs̪͛ so͉ s̝imila̱r̂̎ to a mirr͆o̫̓̿r̃ if you think about it, things lurking on both sides respectively, with the main difference being that the door won’t cast your reflection in most cases. A doorway, on the other hand, represents the possibility of an in between space. I d͓̩͓r̞͌̀e͖̓ͮąͮ̆dͥ͗͝ t̘ͤ͠o͉ͅ think of wh͓ͩ͟a̴t̔̀͊ woul̻d oc̕c̦̉͆upͣy̖̟̋ a̰̣ͮ s͊paç͈e be_twͥe̥͂͟e̡̤͐n͖.

Tͅh͙ͪͪe̎̃ͪ dͤ̂rͨeams appe͉ar̜̣ w̸orͫṱ̓h męͪnti͞o̥ͪn̙ͧin̘͈̆g͗̇͜ I feel, seems significant somehow. Either that or I’m overthinking this, it made me think of the dreams that Martin has, or the dreams Michael has mentioned. I’m not sure, I was usually the field guy, anͩd̵̥̒ i̵̿̀t̷̵̮̫̍̔’͍̝̃s̥̚ n̶̬̽o̺̞̔t_ any more c̴͉̪ơ̻̇m̨fo̯͚rtab_l͍̓͡e̊ r̵̡̖e̍̍͡a͆ding a staṭ̴̴e̴̹͍m̱̫͢e̥̮̖ǹ͓t̗̩ͪ n̠̝̜ow than it͑ͫ ŵ̴̬a͍̫͝ṡ̑͟ tͤ̒͡hen.

For the wellbeing of the individual who submitted this statement, I sincerely hope that you started to s͐̌͞e̮͠e͍̮ yͭ͋òur͔̄ r͛͊ĕ͔͑fl͖e̋̔ction clearly again. It’s not a pleasant experience to not recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror, let alone an even less pleasant experience w̢ͪ͊h̡̊é̦n̢̞ͅ yoͪ͑̋u r̖̝͔e̽͊͝cog͊nize̼ y͋ourṣ͎e͍̜lf̅ͩͦ bͨ̏͡u̺t spir͔ͤä́͂l i̿̂ͅn͆to… Even worse thoughts. I can tell you that unreality is no better than reality with confidence, at least reality offers the illusion of safety.

Ĭ̦̈’̵̭͑m͕͔͢ n̢ͤ͘e̷̞͟v͇͢͟e̖͍r go̸̮ͧi͕̋ͯn̹̆̀g̡ to get used̈ͮ̆ t̙ͪ͐ȏ̑ͯ r̺͗̂è̮̼a̢͎͞d̟͍ing these t̵̎͠ḣ̤͜i̵̻̭ng̝̉s.

[amazingmsme]

Like Magic

AN: So this is a bit of a different spin on the prompt, but anything to write more TMA! Idk how the rest of this month is shaping out to look like for me, but I’m gonna try to finish things. Please be patient as I try to finish these fics. Here’s my fic for day 18!

Martin rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time as Tim droned on about how such great friends he apparently was with one Jonathan Sims. Of course he wasn't buying any of it. But that didn't mean he wouldn't play along.

"Wow, ya don't say?" Martin said breathily, sarcasm still evident.

"Yup! He even said so himself!" Tim proudly proclaimed. Martin raised his brows in shock.

"He said that you are the funniest one here?" he asked skeptically. Tim scoffed.

"Why'd you say that like it's hard to believe?"

Martin shrugged. "B-because it is! I mean, it's Jon we're talking about. Does... does he even have a sense of humor?"

Tim shook his head with an amused chuckle. "Oh Martin, always so naive. Everyone has a sense of humor if you know what tickles their funny bone," he winked, nudging him with his elbow.

"Yeah but, he just doesn't seem like the giddy type," he reasoned.

"Well, you just don't know Jon like I do. What can I say? We have an unspoken bond between us. I can make him crack up with a single look," he boasted, and that was where Martin called it.

"Oh you can not!"

"Wanna bet?" he asked with a crooked grin, wiggling his eyebrows at him. Martin opened his mouth but abruptly snapped it shut when Jon walked into the break room. Tim also shut up, hands shoved in his pockets. Jon looked between them and snorted, walking to the counter.

"If you're going to talk behind my back, I suggest making it less apparent," he casually teased.

"N-no, it's nothing like that!" Martin assured him.

"I was just telling Martin what great friends we are!"

"Hm, that's news to me." Jon barely hid his smirk  at the way Tim cried out indignantly.

"Ouch. I'm hurt Jon. You hurt me," he said, pointing an accusing finger. Jon grinned smugly, turning back to the kettle. He poured himself a cup as Tim walked back to the couch, flopping down next to Martin with a pout. Martin looked about as smug as Jon.

"What?" he snapped.

"You're so full of it," he said softly, an amused smile firmly in place. Tim shoved his shoulder.

"Oh sod off! You know, that last part was actually true," he said, and something in his voice seemed genuine enough for Martin to feel inclined to believe him.

"Really?" he asked, casting a quick glance Jon's direction. Tim followed it, nodding.

“Oh yeah. It’s a little magic power of mine,” he bragged, wiggling his fingers in a twinkly magic kind of way. Martin snorted in amusement.

“Magic, okay, sure,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh you don’t believe me? Here, I’ll prove it,” he said matter of factly. He hopped to his feet, sauntering over to the counter next to Jon. He looked over his shoulder at Martin, smug smirk already in place. He turned his attention to Jon, leaning his hip against the countertop.

“So how’s your day been so far?” he asked casually. Jon snorted.

“The same as every other damn day, what do you think?” When he looked up from adding the smallest amount of sugar to his tea, he froze like a deer in headlights.

Tim was giving him The Look. The one he always gave him before he pounced and turned him into a hysterical mess. His eyes were glowing with mischievous intent, deviously smug smirk peaking out from behind his mustache. Jon took a step back, a nervous grin already tugging at his lips. He glanced over at Martin- oh God, he was going to do it in front of Martin! He looked at Tim with wide eyes, shaking his head. His smile stretched ear to ear and quite literally lit up the room. Martin stared on in shock, a faint blush dusting his cheeks at the sight of their boss looking so adorable.

“Tim-“ Jon started, hoping to negotiate his way out of this.

“You sure it’s just another boring day?” he asked, cutting him off. When he wiggled his eyebrows at him, Jon giggled, actually giggled, bumping into the corner of the fridge when he backed up further.

“Tim I swear-“

“What? I’m just asking about your day. You seem to be rather chipper, thought I’d see what that’s all about,” he teased further. Jon was starting to visibly flush, and he was at a loss for words.

“Oh you bastard,” he huffed, turning away. Tim stepped in front of him.

“Where did this hostility come from? I think someone ought to teach you some manners,” he said, winking at him. Jon felt his blood run cold.

He turned to run, but Tim hooked an arm around his waist, immediately digging his fingers in his sides. Jon doubled over, choking back laughter that still forced its way out through quick bursts of giggles, snorts, and uncharacteristic shrieks. Martin was in awe.

But he couldn’t let himself look or act as lovestruck as he felt, so he just sat there in shock.

“Tihihim! Wha- whahahat dihid I dohoho?” he asked through an onslaught of helpless snickers. Tim brought his other hand into the fray, kneading his sides like a cat making biscuits. Jon snorted, knees buckling when devious hands made contact with his ribs. Those torturous fingers prodded every space between the bones, leaving him sputtering through laughter.

“Oh nothing, nothing at all. You just looked like an easy target,” he reasoned and Jon whined. He found the uppermost ribs and Jon arched his back with a giggly squeal.

Tim only kept at it for a while longer before he released him. He gave Jon a pat on the back as he caught his breath. Tim looked over at Martin and flashed a wide, cocky grin.

“See, what’d I tell ya? Magic,” he said with a grand flourish, making Martin snort in amusement. And if he noticed the way Jon was slowly creeping up behind Tim, fingers flexed and ready to strike, well, he didn’t say anything.

Where would be the fun in that?

[f1-disaster-bi]

nearly 200 writing prompts // feel free to reblog

54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ”

Please for the Paparazzi AU? 🥺🥺🥺

The phone was ringing where he had abandonded it on the pillow. Martin's name and picture filled the screen. There was a string of lovehearts after his name. In the picture, Martin was grinning. He looked happy and carefree, and Lando remembered taking that picture. He had snapped it during the few weeks they had spent traveling the world. The sun had been beating down on them. Lando's own skin was golden with it while Martin was red with the threat of sunburn and yet he was grinning. His smile was big and wide, a little goody looking. It was Lando's favourite picture of Martin. Yet now, as he stared at it, Lando wanted nothing more than to hide from him. He already was hiding actually. He had been hiding since he had used the excuse of needing to be at the factory to deal with the PR disaster that was their outing. Since he had left their holiday, Lando had been hiding from everyone. He was hiding from his family, his friends, his team and himself. He barely spoke in meetings. George's texts went unanswered as did Alex, Charles and both Max's. Jon only got him to speak a few words when they were alone together. Lando had just shut down and he didn't know how to come back from it. The phone stopped ringing. Lando continued to stare at it. His screen was filled with Whatsapp notifications, missed calls and comments that would send him into another panic attack. He didn't want to see them. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to go racing in a week knowing that he now needed a security team, and that there were people on the grid and in the crowds that hated him just for being gay. Another notification from Martin lit up the screen, and this time he picked up the phone. Unlocking it was a task with his shaking hands, and he almost didn't hit play on the voice note as he burried his face in the hoodie he had stolen from Martin months ago. "Schatje, I know you are scared and that's why you're not answering right now. I get it. I do, but I just want to hear your voice. I want to know you are okay, and I want you to know that I am here. I am here, and I love you", the sound of Martin's washed over him, making something catch in his throat as he closed his eyes. He squeezed them tight to stop the tears, "I am not going anywhere Lando Norris, not without you. I cannot stand the thought of losing you, so I won't let this tear us apart. You take the time you need, but come back to me. We're stronger together, Schatje. I love you. I know I said it already, but this doesn't change anything. I love you" Lando had to bite his lip to stop the sob that was choking his way out of his throat. He wished Martin was here. He wished he was strong enough mentally to pick up the phone and call him, but all he could do was hit play on the voice note again and again and again. Maybe tomorrow he would wake up and find the courage to reply, but tonight all he could do was listen to Martin's voice until he fell asleep for the first time in days.

[zabala0z]

Hi I’m back, who wants to hear my first thoughts on S5? Of course you do 🙌

MAG 169: Fire Escape

I actually hated this episode so much, The Desolation really makes me sick to my stomach. But! Jude Perry!! God I love her, she’s so terrifying. Even till the end, she was a mocking asshole. Although she even offered to help. I wonder what would’ve happened if Jon accepted. Hope someone has an au of that

MAG 170: Recollections

Oh my god Martin please.

The fact he kept remembering Jon over and over again and then his little attempt at the end to keep remembering him, oh my god I can’t do this. “I’m in love” OH MY GOD

I still want to know the deal with those tape recorders. I know they are with The Eye but they feel conscious. Maybe they’re like all the past archivists but there shouldn’t be that many (ex. That ep with Jon in the coffin) so really, I have no clue

MAG 171: The Gardener

This was much more disturbing than I thought. And yo! Jared Hopworth! He’s really collecting jobs like they are Pokémon, huh.

A mutual pointed out how a lot of the recent statements are in different styles like how this one is in the style of a nature documentary which is just…so funny to me. Like get Jon a voice acting job

The episode was pretty horrifying. Jared sounded like so caring to the plant-human things and I think that’s almost as bad as plain violence. Funny how he wasn’t even mad he was getting smote. The fact his last words were “grow well, my darlings. Grow well” like fuck you ughhh I wish we had more time with him but I guess not

I guess killing the avatars aren’t really helping the bystanders. So what can you do? Take them from the source. They should make a camp down in the tunnels to keep innocent people

Okay that’s everything. I did only 3 episodes because Jared’s episode was like a little too disturbing for me 💀 I’ll see you guys soon, I’m going on a 9 hour car ride so I’ll probably listen to episodes then