#theres so much that could happen going forward and so much happening now and im so. happy. and excited.
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theres lesbians. OH MY GOD. THERES LESBIANS. AND THEYRE MARRIED. AND THEY LIKE KOALAS AND THEYRE AUSTRALIAN AND THEY HAVE KIDS. HOly oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god ob my god
#im about to throw up oh my god... shaking and shaking and shaking#this is. what ive been waiting for.#ALL THIS TIME. ALL THESE BOOKS.#THERE R LESBIANS!!!!! THEY R REAL!!!#shannon im so sorry for everything ive ever said and also doubting that unraveled would be good#genuinleu cannot express how happy i am rn words just. arent working rn. oh my god.#not only is shannon putting rep in a series thats like. very popular with those like. more uptight christian families?#not sure if thats the right descriptor but theres been so many people ive seen over the years in this fandom#who are outwardly homophobic or said their parents liked it bc it didnt have any of that stuff in it#and now shannon is putting it in series anyway and i am. GOD.#and think about WHAT THIS COULD MEAN!!!#keefe doesnt give a shit so theres probably not really any discrimination in the lost cities which i am FINE with#im completely okay with shannon not wanting to get into the nitty gritty of lost cities homophobia bc#THERES REPRESENTATION!! FINALLY#and this could mean so much for the future.. marellinh has a real chance.#theres so much that could happen going forward and so much happening now and im so. happy. and excited.#kotlc#unraveled spoilers#kotlc spoilers
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#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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hm. my dad is now aware that i have slept over at eriks when i visit him.
#dont love that.#he brought it up bc i have an aunt and uncle in his city and i think he was going to offer to like see if i could stay with them at some#point to visit him#he was like have you thought of visiting erik in (city)? and i was like. yeah#and he was like. have you? and i was like. yeah. and he was like how many times? and i said twice and he was like oh. where did you stay?#and i said. eriks place. and he was like. oh. well you know you have an aunt and uncle there that would let you stay right? and i was like.#yeah i know. and it was in front of my mom and sister and brother in law and HIS sister and everyone was so quiet because they know how my#dad is#and i was like in the process of leaving so i just like said bye to everybody real quick and left so im still like. agh. scawed!#idk why even its not like theres anything he can do to me its just like. god i really want to have peace with him i do not want to ever hav#another lecture from him or get yelled at by him again idk im still scared of that. and he hasnt even met erik yet and probably has a#terrible impression of him now just based off of that even though i am always telling them great stuff about him i dont want HIM to deal#with that especially because i do not think that he would take as much bullshit which he shouldnt have to but god i just have this vision o#my dad like. pulling erik aside for a talk or something if they ever meet and trying to scare him and them getting into an argument bc erik#would stand up for himself#idk who knows if that will happen im literally making up scenarios in my head to scare myself but christ. \#the thing is also at this point in my life i just like. i have to keep moving forward in like. the whole living my life without constantly#thinking about the church's and my dad and the rest of my family's expectations. I have to. I almost lied to him but i didnt and thats#really big progress but im still so scared. but whatever. do it scared. agh!
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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT
below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this
oh my god okay okay where do i even start
opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up
watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok
this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!
i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis
arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie
but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.
i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.
the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this
OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD
jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed
the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH
all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!
once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM
rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it
the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that
okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT
FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER
stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET
just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT
when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.
the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd
GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.
dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.
and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell
speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing
what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah
special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL
the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS
a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!
anyway. back to the horrors.
i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP
i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me
chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!
SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING
TIMOTHEE
FUCKING
CHALAMET
listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.
he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing
paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting
like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different
what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!
also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg
when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us
also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore
have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her
okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive
chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much
THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD
IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL
THE WORMS
THE SENSE OF SCALE
THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY
THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME
THE SOUND
EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL
the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell
every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis
gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3
the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall
i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell
i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3
OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO
HERE WE GO YALL
THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK
THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!
THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start
okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys
paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around
i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more
i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?
but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.
oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.
theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point
another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!
this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani
chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"
i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.
sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3
#dune#dune part two#dune part 2#paul atreides#chani kynes#jessica atreides#feyd rautha#feyd rautha harkonnen#rabban harkonnen#vladimir harkonnen#stilgar#alia atreides#irulan corrino#im so crazy im so feral holy shit#okay im going to bed now#its 1 am lmao#ive been writing these down for like 2 hours since i got back
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FOOLISH - c. sturniolo
part 3, part 2, part 1 here
warnings: SMUT, p in v, dom!chris, and just chris being toxic once again
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your eyes fluttered open, expecting to feel the sun shine through your curtains, but instead you were met with pitch black.
you reached for your phone and checked the time.
3:15 A.M.
you groaned as you knew you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. you turned over on your side to see chris fast asleep beside you, lightly snoring here and there.
part of you was happy he was here, but the other part questioned why you even allowed him to be. but you decided to believe him, once again.
to you, his apology seemed genuine enough and you felt like theres no one else you’d rather be with than chris, so you’d take a million chances on him.
you slowly crawled on top of chris, straddling his waist. you brushed a few strands of hair out of his face. he slightly squirmed in his sleep but that wasn’t enough to wake him up.
“chris?” you call out, just above a whisper.
“mm?” chris responded back while still being somewhat asleep.
“i can’t sleep.” you said while resting your head in the crook of his neck, dragging your hand down his bare chest.
“what’s wrong, baby?” he quietly mumbled while moving his hands up and down your back.
“i need you.” you say just above a whisper, playing with the waistband of his sweatpants. chris, still tired, nodded before snaking his hands underneath your tank top.
you shuddered at the feeling of his cold hands making contact with your chest. you leaned down to press your lips onto his, which he received hungrily.
you lifted your hips, just enough to remove your shorts and underwear. chris groaned at the feeling of your wetness, making contact with his clothed boner.
he lifted you once again before he too disregarded his pants and underwear.
he pumped his length with his hand before slowly lowering you on it, watching as your mouth fell open at the sensation. it’s been a while since you two fucked so it took you a few minutes more to adjust to his size once again.
but in a matter of minutes you began to move, bouncing up and down while he fucked up into you from underneath you.
“fuck, chris.” you moaned out, tightly shutting your eyes closed, pleasure overflowing through your whole body.
“you feel so good baby,” chris said has he sped up his pace, trying to get you both your climaxes. “just how i remembered.”
his hands gripped your waist tighter, you knew he was close and so were you. his tip constantly hitting the spot that made your head spin. your head fell forward onto his shoulder, no longer able to keep yourself up.
“m’ sorry, its too much.” you whined, slowly grinding your hips, still trying to make friction. chris flipped you both over, placing you on your stomach, back arched, as he entered once again from the back.
“shit, shit, shit!” you chanted as you stuffed your face into your pillow, “chris im close.” you moaned, turning your head to look back at him.
“cum for me baby, you can do it.”
chris brought his fingers to your clit, rubbing harsh circles that made you cry his name out as you shuddered from your orgasm washing over you.
“shit, ava.” chris moaned as he pumped a few more times, emptying his load into you.
as he collapsed next to you, you replayed his words in your head.
ava
ava?
who the fuck—
you sat up quickly from your position staring at chris who was laid on his back, eyes closed trying to catch his breath. he could feel your stare so he opened his eyes to meet yours.
“what happened, baby?”
“you need to leave, right now.” you said, jaw clenched before you shuffled off the bed to find a towel to clean yourself up.
chris sat up immediately after you. putting his boxers and pants on to chase after you.
“did i do something wrong?” chris asked as he watched you put your clothes back on.
“ava? who the fuck is ava chris!?”
chris’s eyes widened in realization. he brought both of his hands to his face to rub both of his eyes, streams of curses filling up his head. he knew he fucked up.
“is she that girl you were fucking at the party. huh!?” you yelled, pressing him with your fresh manicured finger.
“y/n it just slipped out i-”
“it just slipped out!? so what you’re fucking her still?”
chris’s mouth opened and closed, unable to answer you because he knew if he did, he’d be in deeper shit.
“christopher, are you still fucking her.” you said this time more calmly, trying to keep yourself from flipping out.
chris could only look down at his feet, which you gave you more than enough answers.
“get out chris.”
“y/n please hear me out.”
“chris, get out before i seriously fuck you up.” you raised your voice a little higher, anger filling up inside you, ready to burst at any moment if he stayed here any longer.
and with that chris left.
he left and didn’t even bother to text you that night.
he left you sobbing, broken down into pieces.
cursing at yourself for believing his lies.
blaming yourself from being foolish.
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A/N: guys i feel like this is a good way to end this mini series because i never intended for it to have a happy ending anyways. but it you would prefer and alternate ending then lmk! love you all <3
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut
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feeling like maybe screaming as loud and long as I can and falling to the ground and hitting it until I start bleeding or I finally get some attention whichever happens first. who's in
tf is up with me and randomly bursting into tears on weekend afternoons
#been trying so so so hard to keep busy and not let everything get to me but unfortunately i have run out of steam so i will now lose it#this happens like once or twice a week its fine tomorrow morning ill have my facade back up and pretend its all fine again#at least its the evening so i can just cry for an hour and go straight to bed. i rule at this emotional regulation shit im winning#oh my god. face in my palms and muffled wailing. its not even that bad at all im generally doing well i have so much going for me#just feel so fucking lonely in my life. and im doing my best to combat it im going out to social shit and calling friends often#but so much of the time! it just makes me feel more alone! bc theres such a lack of closeness or connection its so surface level#dont get me wrong i love my friends but there are things i need. like emotional support. and closeness. and preferably some hugs in there#and i cant get it from them and thats fine i respect boundaries and i know its mostly my fault for feeling so alone bc i dont communicate#well enough and ive tried to get better at it but i cant do it in isolation it cant just come from my side i need someone to seek it out#hey man is it so much to want to feel seen and safe around other people. i mean i guess it is. can anyone fucking hear me#and im so sick of being disabled and how big a barrier it is and how its shaped all of my experiences im done with it!!!!!#but its forever!!!!!!!!!! jesus fuuuuucking christ.#its okay tho im doing what i can for now. and its late evening on a sunday and im on my period and ive had a long week#so its perfectly fucking respectable to feel like shit. and genuinely i will feel better tomorrow. ough.#and i know im not the only one having a bad time. i wish i could do more to help my friends that are but i dont know how. man#ahhhhhhhhhhh. okay. well at least i got pretty much everything done i wanted to today. and anything i missed isnt important#im gonna shower and read and cry a little and go to bed by 10 i think. and then climbing to look forward to after work#i feel bad for saying that now. i dont have superficial friends. just different needs. but i still get a lot out of being friends w them#and i do feel some closeness to some of them sometimes its not like i never have. my insecurity doesnt help i have no object permanence#and my perspective rn is warped bc im upset. but its okay. i know i dont always feel like this. just um. somewhat frequently#sigh. okay yeah showering#sorry 4 ventposting again....relapsing in a moment of weakness. im very tired. i hope that isnt a rat i can hear in the kitchen#.diaries#.vent
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Good Guy Part 2 - S. Harrington
Word count: 2k
Warnings: angst, swearing
A/N: Long awaited part 2, I’m sorry it sucks. I just don’t have that spark anymore, feel free to give me any ideas on how this story should go! Not edited or proofread sooo if theres any crazy mistakes be kind lemme know? 😅
MASTERLIST
Part one
—
“Why didnt you say anything?!”
“We, uh didn't know yet” Your voice was quiet, timid. You felt this pit in your stomach, ashamed maybe? Most likely guilt because now you had added on the pile of crap you and your friends had been dealing with for years, you could see the tiredness in their eyes. You wanted maybe even needed to tell them not to worry about you, to focus on saving Max. But you couldn't find your voice with the way he was looking at you.
Steve ran his fingers through his hair, he was kneeled down in front of you, he was so close his hands on your knees, squeezing gently, you could almost see water threatening to spill over his lash line “It's been 2 hours since we found out” his voice was softer now “Why?”
You shrugged “It's easier to save one of us instead of both”
Steve blinked his eyes going wide “Were you just not going to say anything until it was too late?”
You sighed “I dont know”
He scoffed, his heart shattering, his mood shifting from how nonchalant you were being, he couldn’t believe you would be so reckless, so selfish. He pushed himself off the ground laughing “You don't know” he tossed his head back, he spun around looking at everyone else in the room “She doesn’t know! That's just great, so great, she wasn’t going tell me” He paused briefly “She wasn’t going to tell us that she was cursed” He placed his hands on his hips, moving to look at the ceiling to stop his tears from spilling over “This day just keeps getting better and better”
Nancy took a step forward, her voice soft, her eyes softer “Why?”
You dragged your eyes away from Steve to meet hers, your vision blurring “How many times can I truly escape death” Your memory playing like a timelapse of all of the close calls, from the first time in 83’ when the demogorgon had you pinned to the ground his claws dragging across your stomach, if it wasn’t for Steve that would have been it. To the second time in 84’ at the junkyard when you were too focused on the demodogs in front of you forgot about the possibility that there could be some behind you, which of course happened and of course again if it wasn’t for Steve who knows what could have happened. And to the most recent one of 85’ the summer that this thing between Steve and you finally happened, god you didn't even need to be saved that summer because he was already always there protecting you just in case you got reckless which you always did. “Third times the charm right?” you gave a shadow of a smile trying to make a really bad joke to lift even the tiniest bit of weight off of the room.
“You have got to be shitting me” Steve through his hands up stomping towards the basement door “I need some fucking air” he grumbled before slamming the door shut behind him.
As Steve slammed the door shut, everyone in the room was left speechless and stunned. The room went silent, only the sound of Steve stomping upstairs and the sound of the screen door closing a few seconds later pierced the air. The room was thick with tension, and everyone was exchanging looks, unsure of what to say or do next.
Nancy was the first to break the silence, her voice soft, but filled with anger.
“What the hell, Y/n?”
“Im sorry, i just….” You paused not knowing what to say, all eyes on you. The room now felt heavy, like it was closing in on you, you pushed off the couch, pushing past everyone and making your way out the basements side door. You needed fresh air. You could longer breath in there.
As you pushed past everyone and headed outside, Robin, Nancy, and Max followed after you. You were walking quickly, moving your legs as fast as you could, trying to put as much distance between you and everyone else. You could feel their footsteps behind you, their eyes on your back, and the tension that still hung in the air.
Finally, you stopped and turned to face them, your breath ragged and heavy. They stood there in silence for a few seconds, waiting for you to say something.
The fresh air filled your lungs, you took a deep breath. Hands still shaking “So how does this change the plan?” you sighed
Your friends exchanged glances, clearly surprised by your response. They were expecting you to break down or apologize, but instead, you were still as calm as ever.
It was Max who spoke up first, her voice soft but firm.
"Change the plan? Seriously, that's what you're Focusing on right now? What about the fact that you could die”
You ran your fingers through your hair “Yeah, but so could you! You’re young, you have more to live for, we focus on you first”
Max's eyebrows furrowed, and she took a step forward, her expression laced with anger.
"What do you mean 'more’ to live for'? Do you think your life means less? Do you realize what you sound like right now?“
“A self sacrificial asshole?” You smiled lightly trying to break the tension “You have people who love you Max, who need you” You gestured to Lucas who was inside with Dustin, giving you girls a minute.
Max's anger softened slightly, but her voice was still firm. "And what about the people who love you? Do you think we want to lose you? Do you honestly think we'd be better off without you?“
“One less problem, one less life to worry about” you shrug “Ill be okay if i know your okay”
You slightly leaned on your left foot, your eyes looking between Robin, Nancy and Dustin, you cleared your throat “Someone should go check on Steve, we need to stick together right now”
Nancy nodded, her expression solemn "I'll go talk to him"
She glanced at the others, silently giving them a look that said "stay here. I'll handle this" before heading off to find Steve.
“We should head back inside to talk about this” Robin suggested, gesturing to the situation, your situation.
Max reluctantly nodded, her expression still laced with concern as the group made their way back inside, heading back down the stairs toward the basement.
—-
Nancy found Steve sitting in his car on the street, his head in his hands. She knocked politely on the window before getting in “You okay?”
Nancy nodded, full understanding the situation that was at hand, the one that escalated from just Max being cursed but now you to “She should’ve said something sooner, i get that but we didn’t full understand what the symptoms were till last night Steve, with everything going on im sure her headaches and nightmares seemed normal given the circumstances” Nancy tried to reason with Steves anger towards you
Steve let out a frustrated huff, his hands moving up to run through his hair, pulling on the ends slightly in frustration. "That's just it, Nancy. I thought her being on edge and having headaches was normal too, but I should've known better. I should've been more observant, more attentive. I should have noticed something was wrong even before all this Vecna crap!” He paused taking a deep breath, his voice cracking “I’m with her everyday, I should’ve noticed something was wrong, maybe I could have helped her, no I know I could have helped her and maybe she wouldn’t be a target”
Nancy nodded “You care about her a lot dont you?” she smiled softly
Steve's shoulders slumped and he leaned back against the seat. "Yeah, more than I probably should. It's just... We have a history, y'know? We've been through so much together. And now this...” He gestured towards the house, towards you. "I just can't lose her, Nancy. I don’t what I would do if I did."
Nancy straightened up “You wont” she reached out placing her hand on Steve’s shoulder “Were going to do everything to save both of them Steve, Max and y/n, i promise”
Steve let out a shaky sigh, his shoulders drooping. "I hope you're right, Nance, I really do. But every time we think we've got a handle on things, another curveball gets thrown our way. It's like for every problem we solve, three more pop up in its place. I just feel like we're fighting against the goddamn universe here."
Nancy nodded full understanding “I get it i do. But right now we should be in there” Nancy gestured to her house “With them, brain storming a plan to keep Max and y/n safe.”
Steve nodded, reluctantly agreeing with Nancy. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before speaking. "You're right. I know you're right. We need to focus on the task at hand. Max and Y/N need us, and we can't waste time moping around." He opened the car door and stepped out, looking back at Nancy with a determined expression on his face. "Let's get to work."
Nancy jumped out “Steve wait” she spoke while shutting the passenger door
Steve paused, turning to face Nancy with a puzzled expression. "Yeah, what is it?"
“I know you said you should push your feels aside but just in case” Nancy crossed her arms “You should tell her how you feel” She smiled softly “Just in case”
Steve's heart skipped a beat, and he felt a pang in his chest at Nancy's words. He had been struggling to keep his feelings for you hidden, trying to deny them even to himself. "I... uh" he stumbled over his words, his heart racing a mile a minute. "I don't know,..Do you really think that's the best idea right now? I mean, with everything going on..."
“I do Steve, Maybe not right at this very moment” Nancy joked “But i think you’ll both regret it if you dont, especially if something happens” Nancy was insinuating in case something went wrong which meant in case Vecna got you.
Steve nodded slowly, his expression turning somber. He knew deep down that Nancy was right. But the thought of confessing his feelings in the midst of this chaos and danger was a scary one. What if you didn’t feel the same way? What if his feelings just made things more complicated?
"Yeah... I get what you mean. But how, and when, am I supposed to do it? Feels like the worst possible time for me to bring all of this up."
Nancy smiled softly walking towards her house “You’ll know when Steve” she paused with her hand lingering on the front door handle “Maybe something good can come out of all this bad” before turning it and walking in her house, heading to the basement to come with a plan to kill Venca and save you and max
Steve stood there for a moment, his mind racing with Nancy’s words. Maybe something good can come out of all this bad. That thought echoed in his mind as he watched Nancy disappear into the house. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as he made his way back to the basement, ready to face whatever lay ahead.
You sat there quietly on the couch at the back of the basement while the kids and robin started to put together a half assed plan. Nancy hit the bottom step before catching your eye and smiley softly before joining the group a few feet from you to come up with a plan to stop Venca.
Robin, Lucas, Dustin, Max, and Nancy huddled together, quietly brainstorming and discussing ideas. Every now and then they would glance over at you, checking to see if you were listening or had anything to add. You could see the worry etched on their faces, their expressions clouded with concern and fear for your well-being.
But you remained silent and still, your mind filled with turmoil and anxiety as you sat at the back of the basement, listening to their hushed voices.
Steve finally joined the rest of them. He sighed when he seen you there by yourself, he could tell you were trying your best not to cry. He glanced over at Robin who was with the other group, she nodded her head in your direction. Gesturing for him to go talk to you.
Steve caught Robin's silent message, nodding his head slightly in acknowledgment. He knew that she was right. He couldn't avoid this any longer. He needed to talk to you.
He glanced over at you once more, noticing your attempts to hide your emotions. His heart clenched tightly in his chest, and he took a deep breath before slowly making his way over to you.
“Hey” He mumbled softly “Can i sit?” You nodded still not looking up at him
Steve sat down next to you, leaving a small gap between the two of you. He fidgeted uncomfortably, unsure of how to start the conversation.
He let out a small sigh before speaking again "Listen, I... I wanted to talk to you about something."
Your head felt heavy lifting it up to turn to Steve “Yeah?”
Steve's gaze met yours. His eyes were intense and filled with a mix of emotions, but also a hint of vulnerability.
"Look, I know we're in the middle of a goddamn mess right now. And I know that you've got a lot going on in your head. But I need to say this."
He ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the right words to say, this was something he truly didn’t want to mess up, he couldn’t.
Your heart was picking up, this was it you thought. You could see the nervousness in his eyes, his hand was plucking the seams of the old work couch. You watched his mouth open before you heard the clock, you tensed. You turned back to Steve something felt off, his eyes were now dark, he laughed, but it was different it was dark, evil, sinister sounding “Steve?” You questioned
“Steve” He mocked “Did you really think i loved you? Did you really think i could love someone like you?” He chuckled “Your pathetic, i cant wait for you to go, to leave for him to take you. It would be a relief”
Tears were now rolling down your cheeks as you got up from the couch backing up “You dont mean that” He was taunting you, as you looked around you realized this wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. Then you heard it, the low growling.
Vecna.
#steve harrington x you#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x reader#stranger things fanfiction
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g e n s o. - 1 5
its a short one yall
you watch him eat quietly before speaking out,
"so uh.. what time did you end the call yesterday night?" you fiddle with your earring, "when i woke up it said the call only lasted for an hour so.." you trail off glancing at him.
he swallows thickly, "it was nothing-"
you purse your lips, "your lying.." you look at him. "theres something your not saying.."
"fuck off genso. you dont need to know everything" he spat continuing to eat his food.
you widen your eyes, "w-well.. im sorry but- i want to know because out of everyone you chose to call me and actually get along with me yesterday, but for some damn reason today you wanna act like an ass and ignore me!" you exclaim.
"you did this to me before we even came to UA..! you- you made me promise you to make it to UA so we could be friends again and you just-" you tear up frustrated.
he glances at you quietly before placing his plate down. "dont cry- dammit.." you grunts, running a hand through his untamed hair.
you wipe your tears before they fall, "im not-" you say defensively as you glance the other way.
"genso i-" he starts, "look i didnt go to school today because i was up all night thinking of something- or well someone.." he explains, avoiding eye contact with you.
you widen your eyes, "oh."
should you be feeling... hurt? why did it sting when he said he was thinking of someone? was this normal?
"who..?" you ask, your throat suddenly becoming dry.
he glances up at you before turning back down to his food. "i-" he croaks.
"i dont think she deserves to have someone like me.." he responds. you swear you see his eyes tear up, but dont question it.
"oh kats- bakugou-" you start.
"call me katsuki, not bakugou. weve known each other far too long for you to call me my surname." he mumbles.
"well what happened to that after i finished middle school" you mumble a bit harshly. you turn away from him lowly.
"genso. i didnt want distractions- i had to make it in for u-" he stops abruptly as he admits it.
you widen you eyes and snap your head to him. "for me..?" you ask softly. he grumbles nodding slightly, "oh.. well- even if you meant no harm, you couldve said something you know? it really sucked if im being honest..." you admit rubbing your arm.
"i know.. i kinda fucked up the execution.." he chuckles.
you nod, "yea.." you say agreeing with a small smile, "but uh- ill call you katsuki i guess.. i can understand why you did it.. i kinda got into UA for our promise too.." you admit quietly.
he cant help but smirk slightly, "oh?"
you smack his arm, "hush- now tell me who the girl is" u say with a tiny smile.
he curses lowly staring at the food before placing it down and turning to you. you adjust to face him too.
"oh for fucks sake.." he pauses, "genso- no- y/n... i-" he tears up.
you widen your eyes. he called you by your actual name.
"y/n.. i dont know how to tell you this- and this may come off as forward or quick but, i fucking cant stop thinking about you." he says blinking his eyes causing tears to roll down.
"i dont know what to do anymore because it physically hurts me to think of you a-and- im scared you hate me. i feel like you deserve someone so much better then me-" he sobs slightly.
your heart lurches at the sight and suddenly you wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing him close to your chest. "dont." you say softly, cutting him off.
his body shakes against yours as he buries his face in your neck. you rub his back softly, "katsuki.. weve been friends since we were in kindergarten.. yes, we have had our rough patches, but who doesnt?"
you pause bringing his face up and wiping his tears, "i dont hate you, if anything i like you so much it frustrates me." you admit.
he looks up at you, "really..?"
you nod, "really. how can i hate my best friend..?" you ask softly with a small smile.
he grabs your hands that are on his face and bring them down to press a soft kiss on the palm of your hand. "promise?" he mumbles into your hand.
you chuckle,
"promise katsuki.."
previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 / pt. 04 / pt. 05 / pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 next part: pt. 16
☆taglist! @katszumi @coolgirl458 @niktwazny303 @twinnintwink @froggybich @friedmagazineprincess @itztaki
#mha#bakugo katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#kacchan#kacchan bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo#mha bakugou#katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo#bakugo katuski#bakugou x you#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#bakugou x y/n#katsuki x y/n#mha fanfiction#mha x reader#my hero acedamia#boku no hero academia#t3ag3rs
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Would you mind ranking the mission impossible movies from best to worst?
OKOKOK FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE TO RANT ABT MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!!
now ik you said best to worst but imma go from worst to best cause i think thats more dramatique
OK MY MISSION IMOPSSIBLE 1-7 RANKING:
7. mission: impossible 2 low hanging fruit i know. look i dont dislike this movie - im a diehard m:i fan, so i like all of them. this movie has its moments, n i rlly like john woo as a director, n i loved the rock climbing scene n knife stunt. the romance rlly brings it down for me tho, felt very shoehorned in there.
6. mission: impossible 3 here bc its better than 2 but not as good as 1. loved that it introduced my goats julia n benji, n i loved the building jump n the running scene. rlly solid movie, only this low bc i like the others more.
5. mission: impossible ik its pretty criminal to have the original at number FIVE, but the next four are just so goated. now obviously this movie is great, its the og. but tbh it doesnt stand out to me as much as the others do, doesnt have as much of a huge action setpiece that we've come to love. plus, modern day tom cruise wouldve done that helicopter in the tunnel bit for real.
now i call this next category the FOUR MOVIE PERFECTION RUN,,, bc thats what it is. every one of these next four are absolutely perfect in my eyes, n i could see any of them being someones number one
4. mission: impossible - ghost protocol perfect. down to the last minute detail. i,,, i mean where do i begin. THE burj khalifa stunt. adding benji to the team permanently. paula patton beating ass. the dude from lost dying like five minutes in. tying up the loose end that is ethan n julia. n ik this is niche but the lil outfit change ethan does when hes leaving the kremlin gets me every time. gosh theres just,,, SO much to love abt this movie idk what more i can say. this one was my mission impossible gateway drug.
3. mission: impossible - dead reckoning ok hear me out HEAR ME OUT. before you get mad. OBJECTIVELY SPEAKING, this is the best one. this is THE best one. but this is my personal ranking. the reason i put rogue nation n fallout over this MASTERPIECE is purely bc of,,, The Thing. yknow. the thing that happens to that one character. that one very beloved character. if youve seen the movie you know what i mean. but if youre not a mission fan, n youre not emotionally attached to these characters like i am, this is the best one. unfortunately, i am very emotionally attached to ethan n his pals.
2. mission: impossible - fallout now,,, what can i say abt fallout that hasnt already been said. its perfection. perfect, down to the last minute detail. the STUNTS. the continuity from rogue nation. introducing alanna n having her stab a man while wearing this GORGEOUS white two piece that i still think abt to this day. bringing back solomon lanes bitch ass. bringing back ILSA who is literally my number one my goat my everything. n tell me how every action setpiece n fight is imbedded with fucking CRACK. the club bathroom fight, the HALO jump, ilsa n benji duking it out w lane in that little shack, ethan n walker duking it out on a cliff, THE WHOLE ASS HELICOPTER SEQUENCE where tom cruise just casually flew a helicopter as one does. n OHMYGOSH THE RUNNING. im a simple man ok i could literally watch nine hours of simon pegg telling tom cruise where to run. oh also the fucking fake out in the beginning w the fucking hospital room n benji impersonating that cnn fellow is literally the most impressive thing in the series to me. i was FLABBERGASTED. ok i know im just rambling n listing things but this movie is just,,, so, so good
1 mission impossible - rogue nation see. im aware that fallout n dead reckoning are objectively better than rogue nation. however,,, nostalgias one HELLUVA drug. this movie came out when my family was moving n i was SUPER emo abt it. but i had been looking forward to this movie for like years at that point n even tho i was going through a tough time i was SO stoked to see rogue nation. n rlly i feel like its the perfect mission impossible movie. luthers back after being absent in ghost protocol. tom cruise holding his breath for six fucking minutes as one does. benji is the damsel in distress. n how could i forget the fact that this movie introduces THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES??? ilsa my GOAT. notice how the three movies shes in are the top three,,, yeah shes the best written character in the series not to mention shes uh just rlly cool n yeah. this blog proudly promotes ilsa faust supremacy.
#THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER IM SORRY#ty for the ask <3#julia meade#benji dunn#ethan hunt#alanna mitsopolis#ilsa faust#solomon lane#august walker#luther stickell#mission impossible#ro
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Are you still gonna be updating no one saw me?
this is such a long time overdue, but since ive been away so long i figured this would be a good way to address everything, like whats been happening in my life and my future plans for no1sm for everyones clarity.
to put it shortly, i work full-time, and have done for nearly 2 years now. i am a product designer and i work monday-friday, 9-5. i attend a full day of college classes once a week, this day being even longer than a work day, and on top of that i have a personal work-based tutor that i have to complete work for as well. so in terms of professional obligations, im extremely busy. in my personal life, ive been seeing friends a lot, running errands, planning for weddings, parties, buying a car, SO MANY THINGS. my life has been so hectic.
ive also been suffering some health problems recently. my earliest or readers that are close friends probably know i began writing no1sm to vent my feelings about trauma i underwent, and this obviously still affects me quite greatly alongside depression and anxiety. ive also been suffering quite badly with insomnia and fatigue problems, as well as, embarrassingly, moderately bad eczema.
perhaps the most ridiculous development of all: I AM NOT CURRENTLY HYPERFIXATED ON SOUTH PARK. SHOCK HORROR. BUT PLEASE DONT PANIC: it is still my spin, stan and kyle are still my most favourite characters ever, and most of all i still ENJOY south park and enjoy thinking about, planning, and writing no1sm (when im not completely utterly knackered). ive actually recently gotten majorly into formula 1 as a result of my friends, so if there are any f1 fans following me PLEASE SAY HI!!!!! i plan to do art for it but i have been busy and im also very much a perfectionist. (FYI: my favourite driver is max verstappen. no questions asked. i also love charles daniel lando oscar and honestly most drivers on the grid. i love niki lauda james hunt seb vettel and jenson button. i had a brief mclaren tooned hyperfixation. I AM CURRENTLY INCREDIBLY DEPRESSED OVER DANIEL RICCIARDO LOSING HIS SEAT)
anyway.. getting back on track.
AM I STILL GOING TO BE UPDATING NO1SM?
YES. YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES. i dont know when, but this story is something i have to complete for myself and for you guys. i realised i was putting myself under so much pressure for it to be perfect that it sapped the love i felt for it from me. now that i no longer have visible eyes on me waiting for updates on twitter, i feel much freer and relaxed with it. i dont know how or when, but yes, the story will be completed. do not ask me about the kyle prequel ive planned though DONT DO IT.
i also dont plan on posting about updates anywhere other than tumblr going forwards. ive since moved on from the twitter south park fandom where i was most active, as i felt like i was too old to be in a fandom of minors and the discourse was simply too much. so i decided to move to a fan space and sport that is a million times worse but still somehow has been better for me. so if you still want to follow me on twitter even though i dont south park post anymore, you can follow me at @vrstappns :)
WILL NO1SM HAVE AN UPDATE SCHEDULE?
NO. sorry, my mental health and my career comes first. i want to try and find a better balance that leaves me time to write but im afraid i need time to ease myself back in after so long off and theres no guarantee how long that will take me.
WILL YOU STILL BE MAKING ART FOR NO1SM?
YES. I HOPE. who knows when though cause i havent been able to draw in a long time and im still pissed off that i cant draw max verstappen as easily as i could ever draw kyle broflovski.
AM I ALLOWED TO USE YOUR STORY AND WRITE THE ENDING FOR MYSELF?
NO. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. as much as other authors may encourage this I REALLY DO NOT LIKE THIS. you dont know how much work i have put into this fic as well as how much of my own life and traumas are embedded between the lines of writing. this fic is practically half of me in the same way my parents’ DNA is a part of my make-up. not to sound rude but to even think you could possibly imagine how i intend for this fic to resolve and end when you dont even know me is laughable.
HOW WILL THE INTENSE HOMOSEXUAL RIVALRIES OF FORMULA ONE INFLUENCE THE INTENSE HOMOSEXUAL RIVALRY OF STAN AND KYLE GOING FORWARDS?
im sure 2019 charles leclerc and max verstappen guided carefully by brocedes and james hunt and niki lauda will figure something out. maybe not brocedes actually i am unsure if i want stan marsh to end up like nico rosberg. but i guess he is a good youtuber too and has great hair which is two things stan is NOT. gay loser. also david coulthard and sebastian vettel are there somewhere. GAY RED BULL RACING WILL LEAD US TO WORLD PEACE
thank you so much for reading, i know youve all probably moved on with your life but its a weight off my chest to finally write this out. i love this fic and i love that you all love this fic, if you are still here. i can only apologise for how long ive made you all wait.
please just have patience with me,
thanks muchly,
mike (formerly marshplaylist) vrstappns
#wip: no one saw me#mike talks#south park#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#stankyle#sp kyle#sp style#sp stan
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Saw your thing about mha rewrites, thought i'd throw my hat in the ring. I've had a fic in mind for a while now that involved keeping midoriya quirkless, but instead of him just waiting for a quirk to happen, he'd actually been taking martial arts classes and such in preperation ( something that i find baffling that it didnt happen in canon) where the main issue for Izuku is pushing himself to far to prove a point. but in this, he distances from bakugou, the martial arts training giving him a better sense of self-esteem or atleast a better sense of where his energy is best spent. I plan to try to focus more on the ORIGINAL trio, uraraka, Izuku, and Iida....and i wanna give uraraka OFA bc i think playing around with what improved gravity manipulation could do. i think she'd get it after the torunament arc. Given how smart Midoriya was shown to be early on, I figure he'd make a lot of use of gadgets. infrared goggles, bo staff, head gear for better threat detection, and other possible improvements that he figures out throughout the year. All Might in this basically supports Midoriya's dream by providing the funding for the needed suit and gear. and instead of HIM having the iron man suit with everyones quriks somehow....lets give that to Midoriya, to represent his entier class pushing him forward as a symbol of hope for anyone who thinks they cant be a hero just bc their quirk sucks, or bc they dont have one. Nedzu is the traitor instead of aoyama, bc hes playing a game of 5d chess with AFO and knows once allmight loses his power, everythings going to go to shit, so he engineers events to happen at school with the lov to force the students to where they will have to be to survive the dark times to come. ie, doing a horrible thing, but he believes he has a solid reason for doing so. Bakugou loses to uraraka in the tournament. seeing midoriya so sucsessful without a quirk has made him impatient and desperate to prove himself so he goes at uraraka full boar. now, im not going to make this an insta win, that just dosent feel right, BUT this loss will be the second in a series of losses for bakugou to start going ' what am I doing wrong?' one of the other losses being that Midoriya completes the test with him and bakugou fighting allmight, but with Bakugou unconcious bc like in canon, dude flew off the handle and tried to solo the worlds strongest hero, while Midoriya was more tacticle in his approach. subsequently....bakugou dosent get kidnapped by the Lov, Midoriya does bc they think ' hey this kid is quirkless we can get him to turn' and its bakugou that fails to save Midoriya bc the students that failed their exam were all asleep during the time of the attack of the training camp. he wakes up and comes up short of saving the day, bc he blew his chance of victory. but heres the problem. i have the first couple chapters hammered out...but this is all a lot, and theres so much more that i know is either going to need to be covered. like the hero comercialization, the hero system relying solely on allmight to keep things in check, the lack of proper aid to those with quirks that would require some extra guidance etc. I have the idea....but the idea of writting all of it feels daunting to say the least XD if youd like i could also ramble more on other points i have in mind for this fic idea
Ngl, this sounds really good. OFA!Uraraka isn't something I see often, it's nice to see her get some love. Izuku working hard to become a hero on his own merit is always nice to see, and we love supportive All Might. I'm a firm believer that if Izuku had asked at any other time All Might would have given him a different answer. Izuku just happened to catch him when he was in a place of self-loathing and immeasurable chronic pain.
No, it doesn't excuse his actions. But it's realistic. He also tried to suggest that Izuku seek out a similar dream, like becoming a cop so it wasn't like he said what he did out of malice.
Also, don't be afraid to completely rewrite Horikoshi's terrible canon system! It's filled with a ton of contradictions and inconsistencies anyway so if you need to change it all to make sense, 100% go for it
#mha rewrite#mha critical#bnha critical#anti bakugou katsuki#yagi toshinori defense squad#ofa user uraraka#ask
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still thinking about that text post i reblogged bc it articulates so well what some of the bad vibes i got from totk that i couldnt really pin point that well (and still cant put it in my own words lol); botw is all about trying to act out an old legend and it backfires severly, and i SO hoped the sequel would then move forward or try to explore the reason why clam gan could even come back at all (which isnt really done in totk bc tbh as sad as im to say this ganondorf really is kinda just clam gan but he talks now and looks hot, other than his first human appearance he isnt rly humanized in any way, might as well been an evil cloud talking)
botw left me with the intense feeling that now it would move forward, in the present, we must not keep looking at the past as its done now, move and rebuild (hmmmmm windwaker anyone??) together with zelda now and i wanted to see where it would go so badly bc exploring hyrule with zelda as your companion would make room for SO much character interactions and to me it just feels RIGHT, in botw you were seperated for so long and were finally back together with your best friend and one of the only survivors from the main people hit by the calamity at the end, now you tackle the next catastrophy together-
and totk just kinda reverses it all, whoop zelda gone again lol, no no we must look FURTHER into the past and exactly play it all out again, which doesnt just feel repetetive but also like its back-pedaling what botw was themed around bc in botw it went wrong and had to try picking up the pieces and save whats left to save; in totk its like yeah this is the RIGHT way to reenact the past and as a supposed sequel it just feels ... off its like, imagine windwaker ending with you sailing off to search for new lands and let the past rest like the game directly tells you and then theres a sequel where you are back and suddendly are supposed to bring back the old hyrule that was flooded at the end of the previous game actually if totk was that you had to go back to figure out ok how did it end up like this and how do we solve it now in the present so it wont just restart again yEAH!! and while the game may seem like its doing that on the surface .. it really isnt bc turns out how to solve it is just ... kill the evil guy but HARDER and the reason it got this far is ... he was always an evil guy and the only mistake that was made was the divine god king not stabbing him to death immediately
its all so hollow and with all the other stuff i have ranted about its just .. man what happened here
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#very non structured thoughts#again previous post way better#i am not good with words i can only vomit them all up in a fit of overly strong emotions#i wish i knew what it was like when totk was still a DLC#i honestly think it would have been better to let it stay that way
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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actually
sorry i'll say itnow. realness i do get insanely depressed the more its said. like yep adults now. everyones over it . everyones grown and now the only thing there is left in life is places where we can only ever connect once every few months cuz we have lives . this will be everyone from here going forwards. and i cant even say shit cuz its not that i really even have that. right. like idont even know anyone like that. and this is pathetic as shit. butjust that sinking feeling of knowing its too late, youve completely missed out. turning to youryounger self like ok so you know how hard it is to deal with everything. so dude lookits not going to get better . every year it gets worse you slip farther away. it getsharder to ever crawl because. cuz this is the only opportuntiy you'll ever get to consistently talk to people and its forever shrinking. and youre less likeable less of everything every year and more and more and mroe and its jsut going and going. i know i wouldnt likeme i wouldnt want to talk to me i wouldnt spend my few seconds of free time trying to get to knowme and i know that i know that deep down like.
because even beforehtat eveb when it should have been eaiserand even now when giventhat you cant make it work and you'll constantly blow it and everyones going to settle around you, and specifically most definitely without you, so shriknk up and die and because why do youever kid yourself about anything andyou'll go from the guy people remember every few months, becuase that was already yoiur FUCKING STATE OF BEING, to the person who doesnt exist at all because all your fearsof living in the periphery of everyone and constantly being left outand never jsut. mattering . SORRY . were never anything but completely rational. ALWAYS cdompletely rational. and always founded to be true . why didnt you try harder why didnt you dobetter when thatsall you can ever try to do and it never means anything. soemtiems i get crayz ufcking insane houses walking around the fucking house scrathcing at walls not seeing niot talking to anyone in months years however long its been criyng myself to sleep blah blah blah yap yap yap ne ficlomg grateful someone with a life has rememebred you exist this week because it wont happen again until next year. FUCK you. like i wishi was some fucking sincerely digusting fucking crerature sometimes but the reality of justbeing nothing like just being nothing that anyone can really like inthe end because youre substanceless and forgettable and fartoo easy to let slip away and jsut meek fucking loser that just lets it happen because whatsthe fucking point. i cant do anything to force peopleto like me just let me go fucking die in my hole alone i dont care any more and i dont want to care and i hate fucking everyone and why didnt you try harde rwhy do i have to try so hard to force myself . why does ittake so much to try and feel like im tapped into anything why is it that its jsut so easy LIKE
its not even maliciuous it used to be it could be but even when it wasnt it wasnt malciious ti was just alwwayswas jsut that like. we move on without you we do everything without you we forget you we wont invite you youre no in the conversation i cant kEEP UP WITH THE CONVERSATION EVER I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYHTING i feel like evryones just always laughing at mee AND im crazy bitch im fucking crazy i dont know why i cant make it i dontknow why i can never make it its not meant to be a fucking . oh youre falling behind oh its a race oh its a compettiion theres never any other way to conceptualise it other than jsut THAT. i ithnik when i trytoo hard then yep i am ugly and whatever butwhat is there there is that orthere is jsut . I DONT EXIST i dont understand anyone or anyhting i cant even try to i dont feel a part of anyhting i feel so fucking isolated all the tiem i feel so fucking alone im so fuckngtired this is it thsi makes it worse all of that stuff makes it worse but i dont have the fucking energy the wherewithall to fight it off over and over and voer again when itslike what else is there what is there to live for whenit just never means anyhting it just never matters lik oh my godthis si the reason why youre alone becauseyou make into eveyrhting like this whenit jsut . was never justthat im tired im ssad i think theres soemthing wronggg with me except its nothing wrong with me imjust using that as a fuckingthing to grip onto like yep yep something WRONG WITH ME just RELAX AND IT WOULD BE FINE! OF COURSEIT WOULD BE! LIKE IT EVER WAS LIKE IT EVER WILL BE LIKE THAT WASNT WHAT YOU DO IN THE FIRSTPLACE LIKE ITS NOT EVERYTHING THAT KEEPS FUCKING TANKING LIKE . what do you do what do you i feelfucking crazy im drained i cant sleep IM ALWAYS SLEEPING i go to work i fucking spiral im bad at it i get out of work i sit in the dark for hours bcause i cant . manage anyhting im so tired im so sad its my fault for nto trying to talk to people, i could try i could spend the few seconds of energy i have . the little time i go out i cant talk to anyone its so hard the people who do see me fuckng scream slurs at me i want to die i want to not exist i noly exist in somefucking . i dont get it everyone else has something hwhy sis it so difficult why is it so hard what is wrong with me GCONSTANT FUCKING BACK AND FORTTHHH THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH MEEE IM SEARCHING FOR SOME ANSWER WHEN IM JSUT NTOHING BUT ALSO OH GODTHREREHS TO BE. WHY AM I NOTHING WHY AM I ALWAYS NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGG IM SO UGLY IM SO BAD AT EVERYTHING IM SO ANNOYING AND YOURENOT MEANT TO SAY THAT BUT ITS NEVER ANYHTING BUT TRUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND WHY CANT I SAY THAT WHEN THATS WHAT I AM THATS WHO I AM THATS ALL I'LL EVER BE AND THATS. WHY. IM ALWAYS GOING TO BE ALONEEE SNAKE EAT IT OWN TALIKL
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absolutely unrelated to the dreadful little polycule BUT. hey mark was there at deadwood right. like in canon. what do u think post-muse ashe and mark even Look like. i feel like. there's no way they could be normal after that. not that they can in canon but even Less after what ashe knows mark's seen him do. also GOD how does. tidalwave mark coming over to deadwood mark dragging tide with him happen..... one second im still thinking about the dreadful little polycule u know ill always talk ur ear off Abt them!!!
this ask has been cooking in my inbox for WEEKS because thinking about post-muse mark and ashe makes me so fucking sick dude. god. okay. fucking huge ramble about them under the cut
not going to answer the tidalwave thing yet because we NEED 2 discuss what happens to tide instead of depowering him bc that would fucking kill him and we CANNOT kill our dad. i know we mentioned him taking an armsmaster style retirement/thinly veiled house arrest but. thats a conversation for later hehe
ANYWAY. FUCK . POST-MUSE ASHE MY POOR LITTLE BOY. god. this is all going to be hypotheticals and questions honestly. but like. god. thinking abt the scene like. IMMEDIATELY after the trickster lets him go. the trickster lets go of him and ashe just fucking slumps to the ground like a (pun very much intended) puppet with his strings cut. hes not unconscious, hes awake, but the last time he was free and aware he had to watch himself rip william in half! lol! i think that all hits him at once and he just like. falls to his fucking knees!!! and like. mark pov. thats his son his son is free hes had to watch all of this in shock and horror but now ashe is free after so fucking long and all he wants to do is rush forward and hug him (pick him up, bundle him in his arms like he did when ashe first triggered, carry him in the car as they speed out of the quarantine zone hoping nobody is following them-) and i think he gets as far as. falling to his knees next to ashe, but as soon as his hand makes contact i think ashe flinches so hard its almost like the touch hurt him. hes just. staring at his dad with these huge eyes and shallow breaths and hes shaking and crying and its a fucking MESS and mark doesnt know what to DO and the wards are standing in a loose semicircle behind him and ashe does NOT like all of these eyes on him. he knows these are people who love him but he doesnt know ... what the fuck theyre going to think of him. after. all of that.
i think it would be fun (/evil) if for..... a little while after he's free ashe is just CONSTANTLY waiting for the other shoe to drop. he knows trickster has mal now, he believes that was real, and mal can make illusions. so . whats to say this isnt just all. fake. one of these days hes going to wake up covered in blood and gore and new piercings stinging and aching and . ashe winters will just be the empty aftermath of muse again. i cannot IMAGINE a world in which mark would let him out of his sight again... maybe not in the same completely suffocating way he did when ashe was a kid but like. he definitely insists on ashe living with him again. just. theres a sort of nervous hesitance that wasnt there before. mark is so much more Present now that he doesnt have to work for overlord anymore. he's at home. he makes breakfast and dinner and his footsteps are still loud and heavy but theyre cautious and the way he knocks on ashes door is a lot more gentle than it used to be . i just think theyre both like... scared of each other. ashe scared to relax because he thinks that everything could be fake and he doesnt know what anyone really thinks of him anymore (he is so full of shame and guilt over what he did as muse- i dont think anyone would directly Tell Him but i think . he would probably look up the news, just to *know*). and mark is scared because he doesnt know what to do. he doesnt want to make anything worse. he lets the wards and tide visit whenever they want (because he trusts them) because familiar faces and voices might help ashe feel normal again, but hes still. just. so full of paranoia that something else could go wrong.. and all he wants to do is just. put ashe in a vault or something that could keep him safe from anything that could ever hurt him again. but also he knows thats exactly what the trickster was doing to him (and what mark did to him his entire childhood) so he doesnt.
this is . entirely self indulgent and maybe ooc a little bit but i really really REALLY want the first step of them like... healing. is for mark to be doing something maybe in the kitchen or the living room and ashe slowly trudges into the room feet dragging, hair tangled and hanging in his face OBVIOUSLY not touched at all, nervous energy twitchy at everything like he has been for weeks, but instead of sitting himself in the corner or with his back against a wall he just... comes up next to mark and bumps his forehead into his back/arm/whatever. and he doesnt say anything and mark freezes up bc he doesnt want to make any sudden moves and scare him but then after like. a couple long seconds of stillness and silence ashe hugs him. mark asks (voice really quiet) if hes okay, and ashes shakes his head (which is more just like. sideways rocking his forehead without breaking contact) and mark asks if he can hug him back (nod this time) and they just kind of. sink to the floor and theyre crying and hugging and they dont talk about it later but i think thats when it clicks in ashes brain like. huh okay maybe this is real.
#sorry im a fuckignggngnnn sucker for a good dad hug. mark winters hug your son challenge.#i could say. so much more abt them probably but i feel like i kind of lost the plot a little bit and forgot where i was going with this#auauguhghghghhghhg#asks#friends!!!#intertexts#new haven wards
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incoming rant abt a possible ninjago atla au u have been warned
the gist of the au and what i have in me head is that lloyd is the next air avatar but for some reason the air nomads are skeptical/afraid of baby lloyd so misako takes lloyd and skidadles far away from the temple. because of this, lloyd grows up as a regular kid with no air benders around to teach him air bending And no knowledge that hes the avatar (and therefore that he can bend the other elements)
fast forward to when hes like 9?? 10? wu finds him, surprise ur actually the avatar its training time something something big spiritual evil that might be related to garm something something then wu Leaves and so the training bit falls onto the ninja. which. none of them is an airbender mind u and lloyd Still doesnt know airbending. so they teach him the other elements and Hope that he somehow learns air by proxy
i have a very small and not rlly thought out idea for what an equivalent of the aging tea could be but this is basically it in terms of bg and going forward its just ur usual avatar and ninja shenanigans
ok. now. i have a couple ideas for why the air nomads could be wary of lloyd. one is that they know garmadon is his dad and garm has been cursed by a Particularly Evil spirit and so they think evil dad equals evil son and they dont rlly wanna deal with that so they r like we must get rid of the child he will reincarnate either way its no biggie which,,, uhh yea lets not
the other one is that the nomads have discovered that lloyd is going to be the first avatar that is a direct decendant of the first ever avatar (the fsm) and so they want to like?? harness his power or smth idk.
(the only problem with these ideas is that it kinda relies ok the air nomads having kind of violent and evil solutions to problems so i stil. dont rlly know 😭)
the point is!! one way or another, misako starts seriously fearing for lloyds life and the fact that he might not ever have a choice over it as his own so she takes the baby and Runs.
[abt the fsm, raine lowkey gave me this idea entirely so shoutout raine hello but i was thinking that theres two of them. like. u have the FSM, the first ever avatar, all plwerful godly being. and then u have the dad, the f in fsm stands for Father, this guy is just wu and garms dad. i dint have much else thought out for him just. yea]
now. if i want to talk abt the possible aging tea equivalent i need to talk abt garm. soo augh idk abt garm but i think rhe gist of it is that hes been possessed/corrupted by a spirit bc of a deal he made or for messing with a spirit when he was researching things. the point is hes known as this being that brings chaos and stuff but then wu and misako reveal to lloyd like, thats ur dad actually, and misakos being researching ways to bring him back and lloyd stumbles on this research and decides (not so smartly) that if one qants their dad back one must do it himself so. he manages to contact the original spirit that garm annoyed
so they talk and the spirits like "well i Would give him back but he kinda made me lose my time and energy on him for like,, 4/5 years so unless u figure out a way to give me rhat time back i aint giving him to u" and lloyd goes bet take does from me no biggie
so then lloyd makes this deal not rlly knowing what hes doing and he goes back to the real world and suddenly he has a brand new dad and also abt two whole heads more in height woops
(this all happens post training arc starting so lloyd already knows the ninja and has been living with them for a while)
OK NINJA TIME
so ive been Rlly debating whether i should do the Usual thing and just stick em in the element rhat they have in the show. OR (and this is the idea im leaning more towards) i go with vibes. obviously the vibes are still informed and consider their element in the show
ok first kai and nya. i want them both to be fire nation buut idk if i should make them both firebenders or make them have their usual elements. i do wanna let nya be a waterbender, However since they do live in the fire nation (most likely in a more rural town far from the mainland) nya would be a waterbender that uses mostly firebending styles and techniques. i just have always found this type of mix and match they do with aang and zuko specifically SOO COOL i love it so im gifting that to nya
cole is an earthbender obvi. i havent rlly thought much abt cole bc i immediately decided he would stay an earthbender and didnt question him further.
NOW HEAR ME OUT HERE. i kinda rlly want to make jay earth kingdom and leave him as a non bender. why??? bc the Vibes man. i want to rlly focus on his engineering and tinkery side. i think he would still be rlly involved with bending and stuff and he tries to find different uses to bending outside of fighting. maybe him and cole are childhood friends and jay is always bugging cole to try some of his projects with coles bending.
and finally zane!! hes water tribe but i struggled to settle him on either tribe. i think the northern tribe could fit him in the future but i do think he's originally from the south. i feel like the south gives him more potential to be the specific brand of Peculiar that zane was in the beginning of the sbow. and since this is situated pre war, the southern water tribe would be bigger and better off than how we see them in atla so it would be cool to explore that
so im picturing him as the weird son of the local medic and whatever else dr julien gets up to . so maybe dr julien is teaching zane stuff and he gets Rlly Rlly good so they send him to a bigger settlement with better teachers and eventually he decides to leave the south pole to continue learning and stuff.
i do have ideas abt how wu gathers them together but ive ranted way too much so i will make another post on that if i remember to
#THIS GOT SO LING#LONG#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD THIS MUCH TO SAY#i didnt plan this to be an Actual au its just an idea#but i Do want to mane designs so ??? maybe???#ninjago#blabbering#should i make a tag#i will#spinjitzu? more like avatar state#thats it. thats the tag
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